It’s something people have asked for for a long time now and it’ll be up on the holiday.  Before the speculation begins, it’s not a Christmas show but you better enjoy it anyway.

KB

This one took some time.There are a lot of options to go with here so let’s look at some of the possibilities.

Dolph Ziggler cashes in MITB.  The pop for this is absolutely amazing with the New York fans going insane for the smark hero of the day winning a world title.  The problem with this is it doesn’t really mean anything long term as Ziggler was having a musical instrument match with Sandow seven months later.  Still though, awesome moment.

Rhodes Brothers get their jobs back.  This is one of the rare stories that connected with people on an emotional level.  You have Cody who gets fired because he dared to stand up to the boss and had to fight for his job while Goldust needed a job as well.  This was about standing up to the man and the fans bought into it.  The match was awesome as well and the celebration with Dusty was a great moment.

Orton cashes in.  This is one of those ideas where people knew it was coming but it was still awesome.  That slight delay after Bryan wins the title before Orton’s music hit made me wonder what was going to happen.  That’s what makes a moment work to perfection and the shock was great.  HHH turning heel makes it even better and sets up the next four months worth of stories.  It was much more about the surprise than anything else and that’s a good thing.

Undertaker’s tribute to Paul Bearer.  I don’t think this really needs an explanation.

That brings us to the winner.

John Cena selects Daniel Bryan.  This promo was the culmination of Daniel Bryan having the year of his life and being rewarded for it.  Cena comes off looking like the people’s champion, the fans feel like their influence meant something and we got a classic match to close out the best show of the year as a result.  When a moment is awesome as well as sets up months worth of stories and an awesome match, what more can you ask for?

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In Your House #5: Seasons Beatings
Date: December 17, 1995
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,289
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the main event, this is the first In Your House to feature the Undertaker on the pay per view (he had wrestled in several post PPV dark matches already). It’s rather interesting that one of the biggest and certainly most unique stars in the company hadn’t appeared in the first four editions of a PPV series and I’m not sure why he hadn’t. Anyway tonight he faces King Mabel in his signature match: the casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts with various symbols of Christmas before transitioning to shots of the Hart Family splitting apart as well as the Bulldog pinning Bret Hart at Summerslam 1992 in a masterpiece.

Santa Claus is here handing out presents.

Jerry Lawler promises us a big surprise.

Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is full heel now and a part of the Million Dollar Team. Goldust rubs his chest while watching Razor come to the ring. Marty and the Kid start things off with Jannetty scoring with an enziguri for two. Some shoulder blocks and a clothesline get the same on the Kid and Marty goes over for the tag, freaking the Kid out. An atomic drop has Kid in trouble and now it’s off to Razor for the showdown. The Kid bails to the floor for a second but gets a toothpick in his face back inside.

Razor is having a good time but a blind tag brings in Sid to take over for the Million Dollar Team. Back to the Kid for a kick to the face but Razor glares at him after some chops. Sid comes back in to pound Ramon down and get cheered by the crowd in a surprising reaction. Razor comes back with some right hands and a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Marty to run over the Kid again and a powerslam is good for two.

A front flip facebuster out of the corner gets two on the Kid and it’s off to a camel clutch of all things. We go to Todd Petingill in the crowd with Goldust who quotes movie lines and expresses his lust for Ramon. This goes on for several minutes but at least we’re on split screen. Goldust asks Todd to give Razor a letter. Back to the match and Marty punches his way out of the corner but his cross body is caught in a powerslam for two.

Back to the Kid for a bad looking slam and a better looking guillotine legdrop for two before it’s back to Sid. Ramon gets suckered into the ring but gets in a right hand to the Kid. Marty is turned inside out by a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. Kid comes back in to drop a leg and then bring Sid back inside for some shots to the back.

It’s the Kid in again but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag off to Razor as things speed up. The fallaway slam puts Kid on the floor but Sid breaks up the Razor’s Edge. Not that it matters as Razor hits a quick middle rope bulldog (his finisher before he was in the WWF) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match but it went on too long for what they were going for. Jannetty was an odd choice as Razor’s partner against DiBiase’s boys as he was basically fighting everyone himself, but it was all about the him vs. the Kid anyway. Nothing much to see here and not the best choice for an opening match.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with a present for the returning Jeff Jarrett. After sucking up to Jeff for awhile, the present is opened to reveal a gold record of Ain’t I Great, Jeff’s single from six months earlier. Jarrett brags about how great he is and it doesn’t make anything more interesting. The only thing of note is he enters himself in the Royal Rumble.

Dean Douglas vs. Ahmed Johnson

Douglas says he has a back injury and can’t wrestle, so here’s his prized student Buddy Landell.

Buddy Landell vs. Ahmed Johnson

This is actually a joke, as Buddy Landell is a Ric Flair ripoff and comes to the ring to Flair’s WWF music in a Flair style robe. Douglas hates Flair in real life (never mentioned here of course), so it’s supposed to be funny that Douglas is Flair’s teacher or something like that. Not that it matters as Ahmed, a muscular monster with one of the most intimidating looks ever, destroys Landell and beats him with a Pearl River Plunge (double underhook powerbomb) in 32 seconds.

Post match Johnson paddles Douglas with the Board of Education. This would be Douglas’ last appearance. Lawler interviews Johnson and calls him stupid, allowing Jarrett to break the gold record over Johnson’s head. Jeff also gets in a few chair shots and rams Ahmed into the steps a couple of times, but Ahmed no sells them and chases Jarrett off.

Todd gives Razor the letter from Goldust and Ramon is disgusted, because it’s 1995 and anyone gay has to be a heel right?

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.

Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.

They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?

Post match Henry slams Helmsley into the pen for fun. That’s a nice idea as at least the fans get the (limited) payoff.

We recap Diesel’s change of attitude since he lost the world title at Survivor Series, which has seen him act much more aggressive. This was what he should have been doing as champion.

Diesel vs. Owen Hart

This is a revenge match for Diesel as Owen kicked Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf as a result. Diesel launches Owen into the corner to start and hits a big side slam for no cover. The arena is full of smoke from Diesel’s entrance. Owen comes back with some right hands but Diesel easily throws him to the outside for a meeting with Cornette.

Back in and Owen scores with a missile dropkick before going after Diesel’s knee to take him down. A spinwheel kick gets two on Diesel but he easily kicks Hart away to break up a spinning toe hold. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Jackknife (“This is for you Shawn!”) but he takes his foot off Owen’s chest at two. The referee begs him to let it end so Diesel shoves him down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was going along pretty well until the stupid ending. I understand that they’re trying to push Diesel as being more aggressive, but having him lose isn’t the way to go about doing that. This is Diesel’s third straight PPV loss which doesn’t make me think he’s a monster but rather a guy who can’t finish his opponents.

Here are Savio Vega and Santa Claus to hand out presents to the fans, but Ted DiBiase interrupts them. He says everyone has a price and calls them both into the ring. DiBiase doesn’t believe Santa can make it around the world in one night but he knows someone who can. Savio says he doesn’t have a price and says he believes in Santa.

However, this isn’t the real Santa. It’s really…..XANTA CLAUS, Santa’s evil brother from the south pole who steals presents from children. I wish I was making this up but I promise you it’s real. Xanta lays out Savio and leaves with DiBiase but Savio chases after them, only to get beaten up again. Vince: “SAY IT’S NOT SO!!!” Xanta is played by future ECW mainstay Balls Mahoney.

Mabel says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker, who has returned after having his face crushed by Mabel and Yokozuna. Tonight it’s a casket match, meaning you have to put your opponent in a casket and close the lid to win.

King Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mable now has a very stupid looking mohawk to go with his stupid looking gold and purple pajamas. He jumps Undertaker to start but Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts in the corner. Mabel takes him down with a Boss Man Slam but Undertaker pops right back up. A clothesline gets the same result but a slam keeps Undertaker down for a bit. Mabel goes up for a middle rope splash but Taker moves to avoid probably death. Instead a belly to belly and legdrop keep Undertaker down and there’s a splash for good measure.

Mabel and Sir Mo roll Taker into the casket but don’t shut the lid because they’re not that bright. Undertaker blocks the eventual lid closure as Mabel is dancing in the ring with his crown. Back in and Taker pounds away before kicking Mabel into the casket. Mo’s save is easily thwarted with a chokeslam and he gets thrown in as well. Undertaker takes back the necklace made from the Urn (don’t ask) and slams the lid shut for the win.

Rating: D+. This was about as perfect as you could get to end the Undertaker vs. Mabel feud but it doesn’t help that we had to sit through it for so many months. Thankfully Mabel was gone soon after this with his last notable appearance coming in January. Undertaker is a good force to have back in the company as he was probably the third most popular guy in the company at this point.

Post match Undertaker motions that he wants the WWF Title.

Jim Cornette walks us through Bret’s history with the Bulldog, who is married to Bret’s sister. Unlike in 1992 where the sister Diana was split on who to cheer for, she’s firmly in her husband’s corner tonight.

Bret says he’s making up for 1992 tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

The much stronger Bulldog shoves the champion into the corner to start but Bret grabs an armbar to take over. Davey flips around a lot but ultimately takes Bret down by the hair like a true villain should. Back to the armbar by Bret as we take a look at Cornette’s tennis racket cover which looks like Santa Claus’ face. Bret gets two off a cross body and goes right back to the arm. Smith comes back with another hair pull before tying Bret up in the Tree of Woe (hanging him upside down in the corner) to stomp away.

Off to the chinlock as the fans are solidly behind Bret. They soon get bored of cheering for him though and start chanting for the then upstart promotion ECW. Vince informs us that the Undertaker has challenged the winner of this match for the Royal Rumble. After a Cornette tennis racket shot we’re in the third chinlock less than ten minutes into the match before the required chest first bump into the buckle gets two on Hart.

A backdrop puts Bret down for two more and we hit the chinlock again. At least this time he makes it a headlock as the fans chant USA, in theory for the Canadian champion. Bret comes back with a monkey flip and a bulldog to the Bulldog for two. A piledriver lays Smith out for two more but Bulldog crotches Bret on the ropes to break up a superplex. Bret falls to the floor and the fans want a table. Instead they get the champion being sent into the steps as Bulldog is in control.

Smith sends him hard into the barricade and Bret is busted wide open. Back in and Bulldog piledrives Bret down for a near fall before pounding at the cut on the forehead. The delayed vertical suplex gets the same and there’s a gorilla press slam for good measure. Bulldog channels his former partner the Dynamite Kid with a headbutt to the back for two. Smith seems to have hurt his knee though so Bret tries a quick Sharpshooter, only to have Smith break it up just as easily.

A hard shoulder puts Bret onto the floor so Smith can try to get some feeling back into his knee. Bret counters a suplex back inside into a rollup for yet another near fall before a double clothesline puts both guys down. They’re quickly back up and a backdrop puts Smith on the floor. Bret is ticked off now and dives over the top to pound away on Smith even more. Davey will have none of that though and powerslams Bret down on the floor to suck the life out of the crowd.

The protective mats are peeled back but Bret blocks a suplex by crotching Davey on the barricade in a nice callback to earlier in the match. Bret clotheslines him off the barricade and heads back inside where a backbreaker gets two. Now the superplex connects for two and an O’Connor Roll gets the same. In a really sudden finish, Bulldog charges into a boot in the corner and Bret cradles him for the pin. The look on Diana’s face makes the ending even better as it almost says “HOW DARE YOU KEEP THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This got WAY better in the end but the first ten minutes or so of this were pretty dreadful. Also the ending didn’t do it any favors as I was expecting a callback to the Summerslam 1992 match but we didn’t get anything close to it. Still though, good match and by far the best thing we’ve had on one of these shows in the last two shows.

Paul Bearer (Undertaker’s odd manager) and Undertaker are pleased that they get a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Diesel comes in and says it’s his shot. The giants stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. While this isn’t a good show, it’s WAY better than the previous two entries in the series. Bret is just better as champion as he can work with almost any style and get a better match out of most people. The rest of the card was pretty horrible, but things would be changing quickly around here which is the best thing that could have happened for the WWF.

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Tables Ladders and Chairs 2012
Date: December 16, 2012
Location: Barclays Center, Brooklyn, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the final stop before we get to the Rumble where Rock can finally get his title shot, meaning we can stop having everything lead up to that instead of having stuff that matters. The main event is a six man tag because Punk is injured. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Ziggler for the MITB case and Sheamus vs. Show in a chairs match for the Smackdown Title. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Divas Battle Royal

Layla, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Natalya, Tamina Snuka, Aksana, Rosa Mendes, Cameron, Naomi

The winner gets the title shot presumably later tonight. They’re all in Santa outfits here and Eve is on commentary. Rosa is put out quickly and the Funkadactyls do some splits on I think Alicia. I think Cameron is put out and Aksana lays on the ropes like an idiot. She deserves the elimination she gets. Striker says that there might be a dancing basketball rivalry because Layla and Eve danced for different NBA teams.

Tamina eliminates Layla and Kaitlyn dropkicks Nattie out. We’ve got Kaitlyn, Naomi and Tamina left as Alicia was put out off camera earlier I guess. Naomi actually puts out Tamina and we get a rematch of NXT Season 3. Kaitlyn spears her down but misses a dropkick. Naomi puts her on the apron and Layla adds a slap, allowing Naomi to dropkick Kaitlyn out for the win at 5:26.

Rating: D. Yes, one of the Funkadactyls, the dancers of Brodus Clay who hasn’t been on TV in weeks, is the #1 contender to the Divas Title. Has she ever spoken a word on television or been seen on her own? Wait why am I even trying to figure this out? It’s the freaking Divas division so what difference does it make?

The regular show opens with a twenty six bell salute to those who died in the shooting in Connecticut.

There are ladders EVERYWHERE, including hanging from the rafters over the stage.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara

Tables match where only one member has to go through for a win. The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Sandow wants to know if there’s anyone lower in life than the Brooklyn hipster. They’re literally the unwashed masses. Cody makes fun of facial hair and we’re ready to go. Thankfully we don’t have tags and Rey sends Cody to the floor very quickly. Sandow is sent out as well and there are stereo dives by the masked men.

Rey and Cara pull out a table and ram both Scholars with it. Rhodes has to save Sandow from being slammed through the table and Rey is sent out to the floor. Mysterio saves Cara from going through the table, allowing Sin to hit the armdrag out of the corner on Rhodes. There’s the Disaster Kick to Cara though and everyone in a mask is down. The Scholars slam Cara into the steps and Rey goes into the barricade. The Mustache gets another chant as the Scholars set up a pair of tables.

After walking around forever, Rey trips up Sandow and hits the seated senton. Cody’s powerbomb is countered into a rana to send him to the floor. Cara takes out Sandow with a springboard cross body and a rana that slips a bit. A corkscrew plancha to the floor takes Damien out again and Rey hits the 619 on Cody. Sandow breaks up the top rope splash through the table though as Cole lists off some Tweets. Cara kicks Sandow in the head and kicks Cody to the apron. After firing off about eight kicks to the head from the apron, Cody knocks Cara off the top rope and through a table for the win at 9:36.

Rating: D+. Not the best opener in the world here as they spent a lot of time walking around looking for a spot to do. The Scholars were the obvious winners here and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t make for the most entertaining match in the world. It was probably a good idea to get this out of the way though.

We get another Joker Shield promo, saying about what you would expect them to say: they’re going to take out Ryback and HELL NO one by one tonight and that’s about it. The main reason they want to beat those three up though: they just don’t like them. How simple yet effective.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending in what should be a layup for him. We start with a clean break in the corner and Truth does his pelvic thrusting. Cesaro throws Truth around before getting rolled up for a few two counts. Antonio works on the ribs as the fans chant for the USA. Off to a modified cobra clutch by the champion which goes on for a good while.

Truth fights up and hits the spinning forearm followed by the ax kick for two. A side kick puts Cesaro down for two more and the fans start a Little Jimmy chant. Cesaro escapes the suplex into a stunner before hitting the European uppercut to the back of the head. Neutralizer (BIG pop for that) retains the title at 6:44.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting, which isn’t saying much as I was expecting a basic TV level match. Truth is just filling in a spot here and there’s nothing wrong with that, but we’re just waiting for a big time AMERICAN to come in and save the title for the country. Decent enough match here though.

Post match Cesaro says that when the fans boo him, they’re booing themselves.

Some people from Tribute to the Troops don’t have much to say.

Ziggler says Cena is going to try to steal the case from him tonight. Cena already lost his own case earlier this year, so why should Ziggler have to earn it a second time? Ziggler says Cena’s career should be over if John loses tonight.

Here’s 3MB on MizTV to waste some time. Apparently they’re going to finally perform tomorrow night on Raw. Mahal makes fun of the Spanish announce team, telling them to speak AMERICAN. The bullying goes on until Ricardo Rodriguez of all people makes the save. 3MB beats on him too until Del Rio makes the save. Is that a face turn? Miz and Del Rio wind up cleaning house. A six man is proposed to fill in some time later. The fans want Ryder to be Miz and Del Rio’s partner.

Rock will indeed be at the Rumble.

HELL NO fires themselves up and talk about how hard it is to talk to Ryback. Tonight, they’ll feed all of the Shield to him.

Wade Barrett says he’s going to take out Kofi tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Barrett takes it into the corner to start and pounds away for two. There’s the bouncing elbow by Kofi for two but Wade clotheslines him out to the floor. Kofi slides back in and hits a suicide dive to take Wade right back out. Back in and momentum shifts again, this time with Barrett kicking Kofi in the ribs.

A backbreaker gets two for Wade and it’s off to a bow and arrow with a knee in Kofi’s back. That doesn’t last long so Wade settles for two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back to the chinlock for a bit, followed by Kofi fighting up and hitting another clothesline to take Wade down. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. The Boss Man Slam is countered into the SOS for two for Kofi.

A spinning full nelson slam gets the same for Barrett but Wade is getting frustrated. I love Wade moveset as he constantly mixes in new things. Kofi’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two, followed by a Boss Man Slam for the same result. In another sudden ending tonight, the Bull Hammer is countered into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 8:19.

Rating: C+. Nice back and forth match here with a surprising ending. This could have been on Smackdown but it wasn’t out of place on PPV. Kofi winning is the surprise though as he would seem to be set up to be fed to Barrett. Odds are there will be a rematch though, because clearly a clean win isn’t enough to warrant the end of a program right?

Punk and Heyman are in a sky box and Punk says the status of his knee is none of their business. Punk talks about how he would have destroyed Ryback tonight and how he’ll be champion for as long as he likes. Oh and he’s not associated with the Shield.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.

Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.

Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?

Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.

Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.

Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.

The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.

Carnage is removed for a bit. Rollins took a NASTY bump into the table on that fall, slamming his head onto the edge.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Eve Torres

Naomi does her flashy stuff to start and Eve hides on the floor. The reaction to taking the champ out? DANCE TIME! Naomi fakes her out a lot, botches a jump to the top, and misses a spinning cross body. Eve’s neckbreaker ends this at 3:08.

Rating: D. Eve is hot and Naomi can shake her hips so I can’t call this a failure. The division is such a joke anymore and AJ isn’t going to fix anything immediately. They need to get this Kaitlyn title reign over already though because it’s already past the point where it should have happened. Nothing to see but Eve’s legs here as usual.

Eve does her posing thing post match which is pretty awesome.

Big Show says Sheamus has no chance to get the title back tonight.

We recap Sheamus vs. Show. Show won the title at TLC and retained it at Survivor Series, but after the second match, Sheamus hit Show 31 times with a chair. The chairs match stipulation tonight was obvious.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Note that with the Raw Champion off the show, this was never once mentioned as a possible replacement main event. This is a chairs match, which means chair shots are legal. Sheamus pounds him down to start and goes for the knee. The first chair is brought in but Sheamus is knocked to the floor. Show superkicks the chair into Sheamus’ face and there’s the LOUD chop. Sheamus comes back with the shoulder off the apron and we head inside again.

Show pounds him down again but Sheamus slams him down for two. Why is it a surprise that he kicked out of that? It’s just a slam. A top rope chair shot puts Show down but a second attempt is countered with a spear out of the air to take him down. Back in and Sheamus pounds away but charges into a chokeslam for two. Show goes under the ring and pulls out a bunch of chairs.

A Vader Bomb onto a chair onto Sheamus gets two so Show loads up two chairs in the middle of the ring. Sheamus fights back and hits White Noise onto both chairs but it only gets two. Sheamus gets all fired up but the Brogue Kick hits the rope instead. The WMD lays Sheamus out but it only gets two. In a pretty dumb ending, Show pulls out a GIANT chair and clocks Sheamus in the head with it to retain at 14:40.

Rating: B-. Good match here but it was several steps below what they’ve done before. I really didn’t know who was winning here and with Show winning, I doubt we’re going to have a cash in tonight, which is probably the right call. Decent but not great match here, which surprisingly enough is a downgrade for this feud. Hopefully this is the end for these two here.

AJ comes up to Cena in a cutoff Cena shirt. Good look on her. Basically he says she can thank him after he wins.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler

You know what? Why not? He’s in a Brooklyn Nets jersey as apparently he’s abandoned the Yankees (Bronx, not Brooklyn) shirt. Ignore those RYDER chants of course. Del Rio and Slater start things off with Alberto in control. Off to Brawler who beats up Mahal a bit before getting punched down by Heath. Brawler avoids a middle rope knee drop as we hear about 3MB having their tattoos messed up. Not hot tag brings in Miz who gets two on Jinder off a DDT. Del Rio drives Drew into the remnants of the announce table. The Finale takes down Mahal and the Brawler gets the win off a Boston Crab at 3:37.

Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?

We recap Ziggler vs. Cena, which is more about AJ and Vickie than anything else. Eventually Dolph and Cena got dragged into it and Ziggy’s MITB case was put up for grabs in a ladder match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Ladder match for the case here. Cena runs him over with a shoulder to start and they stare at each other for a bit. The fans are almost universally behind Dolph here. Cena takes him down with a headlock, probably for the first time in the history of ladder matches. He works on Dolph’s arm and hits a fisherman’s suplex. There’s a monkey flip out of the corner and Ziggler is sent to the floor.

Ziggler gets a chair to take Cena down and wedges it between the top and middle rope. We get the first ladder brought in but Cena rams it into Dolph’s face. Cena might be cut over the eye. The dueling Cena chants begin as he crushes Ziggler’s head with the steps. It’s table time but Dolph knocks Cena down and goes for a climb. They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. Dolph hooks the sleeper and Cena turns red, but he climbs the ladder anyway with Ziggler on his back.

This of course goes badly and they crash backwards through a table in the ring. In a very cool spot, Ziggler goes up the ladder, so Cena PICKS UP THE LADDER FOR THE AA. Ziggler escapes what would have likely resulted in death and hits the Fameasser to put both guys down. Cena puts on a quick STF but Ziggler escapes the AA and hits the Zig Zag. Ziggler seems to be a big ginger on his leg as he gets another table.

The table is placed in the corner but Cena hits four of the five moves of doom. Dolph counters the AA and hits the jumping DDT to put Cena down again. Ziggler goes for the big ladder but Cena stops him at the top. They slug it out up there with Cena shoving Ziggler off. There’s no one to stop Cena….except himself as Cena does the stupid VERY slow climb, allowing Ziggler to take him down. Ziggler rams the bad eye into the ladder but Cena BUSTS OUT A FREAKING HURRICANRANA to send Ziggy through the table in the corner.

John pounds Ziggler into the corner and puts him on the top rope. Ziggler shoves him away and tries a top rope cross body, but Cena rolls through into the AA. That gets countered too and a chair shot puts Cena down. Ziggler misses a kick and there’s an AA. There’s nothing in the ring at the moment though so here’s Vickie with a chair. Cue AJ to take Guerrero down with the Five Moves of Doom. Well close enough I guess. Cena climbs the ladder and AJ shoves it down, turning heel. Ziggler has no idea what’s going on but AJ goes all happy psycho again. Ziggler retains the case at 23:38.

Rating: B+. I’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t about AJ. At the end of the day, I get that she’s nuts but she’s gotten WAY too much focus and it means this story must continue. I get what they’re going for here, but man alive they’ve run this story into the ground for so long that I don’t care anymore. The match was very good though as the ladders were props in the match, which is what makes the best ladder matches.

Ziggler celebrates a ton to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Once we got by the obvious matches to open the show, this turned into the usual excellent show that TLC is. It’s not so much about the quality of it, but it’s FUN, which is a good idea to end the year with. Things get serious now as the Road to Wrestlemania begins. Very fun show here with a serious match of the year candidate included. Check this one out.

Results

Rhodes Scholars b. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara – Rhodes shoved Cara through a table

Antonio Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer

Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett – Trouble in Paradise

The Shield b. Ryback/HELL NO – Superbomb to Bryan

Eve Torres b. Naomi – Spinning Neckbreaker

Big Show b. Sheamus – Chair to the back

Albeto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler b. 3MB – Boston Crab to Mahal

Dolph Ziggler b. John Cena – Ziggler pulled down the case

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Miz’s movie in case you forgot.
It’s not terrible but I’m probably going to forget I watched it in about 3 days. Miz is the co-star of the movie and is about what you would expect. It’s not like That’s What I Am where they hyped up Orton and he literally wasn’t on screen for five minutes.

The movie is supposed to be a comedy but it’s more of an action movie than funny. The story is an ex-bounty hunter is coming back to New Jersey because the one bounty she ever let get away is back in town. She hooks up with her old team, including ex-boyfriend Miz. She doesn’t want her fiance to know she used to be a bounty hunter and spends half the movie hiding it. The fact that it’s set at Christmas means nothing to the plot at all and this could have been set at any time of the year with no effect on the story.

It’s better than some WWE movies but there’s a reason this is a straight to DVD movie that aired once on cable. The action sequences aren’t bad and the lead girl is good looking.  Miz isn’t bad in it all things considered and he looks fine beating up goons.  It ran an hour and 45 minutes with commercials so it’s not even that long. The movie isn’t terrible by any means but it’s nothing that is going to blow you away or be something you’ll want to watch multiple times.   If you like Miz and not serious action movies you might like this but definitely don’t buy the DVD if you’re just curious.  Rent it or see if it’s ever on TV again at best.

Monday Nitro #147
Date: July 27, 1998
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 19,109
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Road Wild and nothing has been announced as of yet. It’s clear that Jay Leno is going to be involved in some way, even if the fans don’t seem that thrilled by the idea. Unfortunately that means we’re probably going to see another NWO talk show because wasting ten minutes of their only major TV show of the week on a segment to set up a match with a talk show host is fine in WCW. It may have made money at Road Wild, but it’s making for some very dull television. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Hall and Nash fighting last week which led to a Wolfpack vs. Black and White brawl, which led to Sting and Nash losing the tag titles to Hall/Giant. There’s also a clip of Bret beating DDP for the vacant US Title.

We get a voiceover (sounds like Scott Hudson) recapping last week, which is pretty much what we got in the first video.

Nitro Girls in white cowboy hats. I could get used to this.

Tony promises us something that will be among the biggest moments in the history of our sport: Goldberg is going to talk.

Here’s the Black and White minus Hogan, Bret and Bischoff, probably with a lot to say. The announcers are already talking about Jay Leno non-stop. Hall thinks Nitro being in San Antonio is just too sweet, much like the new tag team champions. He’s going to be sick if he has to keep hearing about Nash being upset, so how about we have a big NWO vs. NWO match at Road Wild?

Brian Adams tells the fans to shut up and recognize how awesome the Black and White really is. He tells us about being in Japan and hearing about Goldberg’s fluke win over Hollywood Hogan. Adams got on a plane and begged Hogan to let him prove that Goldberg is a fluke. Therefore, Adams is getting a title shot tonight which hopefully lasts about 18 seconds.

We get clips from Bischoff’s talk show last week.

Back from a break with the Flock in the ring and Raven talking about how things were supposed to be different than it was in high school. He’s still despised and attacked by people like Saturn and Kanyon though. You know, part of society’s norms. This brings out Saturn who is sick of hearing Raven cry. If Raven wants to cry, stand up so Saturn can give him something to be upset over. Kanyon runs out to get a piece of Saturn but gets suplexed down. Saturn picks Raven up for the Death Valley Driver but gets caught in a Flatliner from Kanyon. It’s not clear if Kanyon meant to save Raven or not.

Barbarian vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan chants USA a lot before clotheslining Barbarian out to the floor. Back in and a double ax handle drops Barbarian again but he gets a boot up to stop a jogging Duggan. Jim comes back with right hands in the corner to little effect but he has to deal with Jimmy Hart. Barbarian kicks Hart by mistake, allowing Duggan to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post match Hugh Morrus jumps Duggan but Meng comes in to beat up Morrus. Duggan gets the board to clean house and offers Meng a handshake, getting a Tongan Death Grip in return.

Bischoff’s house band is warming up.

There’s another horrible looking car in front of a star parking spot outside.

It’s time for NWO Night Cap and the keyboard player now has NWO glasses. Eric shakes hands with his fans ala Leno as we’re already two minutes into this. Joke topics tonight include Japanese Viagara, Monica Lewinsky, Jay Leno’s chin, bikers, Steve Urkel being NWO Black and White, the chin again, Leno not being funny, and growing sheep bladders in a lab.

Oh and now we get a COMEDY SEGMENT. It’s Headlines, which is showing various accidental puns in newspapers. The fans are booing this out of the building. Remember, they paid for a ticket to sit through this segment. Even Liz in a dress isn’t enough to save this but it keeps going anyway.

Now we get our special guest: Hollywood Hogan. Hollywood talks about how Bischoff is dominating late night and gives a birthday shout out to Nitro Nick. Bischoff shows us a clip from the real Tonight Show with band leader Kevin Eubanks talking about Bischoff making fun of Leno in a badly scripted conversation. We get a clip in the clip of the original Night Cap, which are the same clips we saw earlier tonight.

Leno makes fun of Hogan’s beard and says he’s seen better wrestling on Jerry Springer. Jay makes jokes about Hogan’s age and need for Viagara before we go back to an annoyed Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan says Leno’s lawyer should plead insanity for Leno because Jay has gone way over the line. He gives Leno one more chance to back off or Hogan is going to come to the Tonight Show and shut him up. Bischoff promises to show what happened when Karl Malone stepped into Hogan’s world. We’re FINALLY done after nearly seventeen minutes spent on this segment. I’d love to see the quarter hour ratings for this show.

More Nitro Girls with Fyre stripping off a suit in a solo routine.

Nitro Party video.

Time for more talking with Gene bringing out a limping DDP for a chat. Gene says Page put the title on the line last week even though he was injured. Page says it was Hogan that attacked him last week because he’s scum. Hogan shouldn’t hunt what he can’t kill, because Page’s mission is to now eliminate Hollywood from the wrestling world. Hogan can keep running, but one day he’ll feel the BANG.

Nice recap of Malenko vs. Jericho, setting up tonight’s last chance match for Malenko.

Tony hypes up the Goldberg interview again but the Black and White has something to say. Dusty Rhodes is back and heads over to the announcers’ table with Hall and Norton. Hall says if Nash doesn’t want a fight, how about sending Sting out to face him later? Dusty goes on a rant against Larry for talking too much trash about the NWO. Therefore, Larry is under a gag order tonight, meaning Dusty gives Tony an actual gag.

Scott Norton vs. Jim Neidhart

Norton no sells some forearms and powerbombs Neidhart for the pin in 15 seconds. I’d assume Norton will be Goldberg’s supper one day soon. Neidhart is already walking to the back before Norton is out of the ring. That’s some pretty poor selling.

Video on Goldberg.

The interview is hyped up again.

We go to the back for the back for Goldberg’s walk to the ring but he doesn’t come out. Doug Dillinger comes in and sees NWO graffiti all over the walls and the room ransacked. Goldberg is nowhere in sight.

Hour #2 begins at about 9:15.

Here’s Bret Hart for even more talking. He talks about how wrestling has become full of pimps and thieves and somewhere he doesn’t want to be, until now. Bret doesn’t want to hear about Page’s injuries because Page got in the ring last week. There’s one more person that he needs to address from last week and that’s Sting. Bret has a lot of respect for Sting and especially likes his taste in moves. There’s one thing that is least Sting down the wrong road and that’s all these people out there. Bret is Sting’s friend and will show him the right way.

Crusierweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending and this is Dean’s last chance at the title. Jericho dropkicks Dean out to the floor to start and sends him into the barricade to take an early advantage. Back in and Chris tries a top rope dropkick but dives into a dropkick from Malenko. Dean goes up again for a sunset flip but Jericho rolls through into the Liontamer. Malenko is quickly into the ropes and rolls out to the floor for a breather. Jericho hits a nice dive to take him out and we go to a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Malenko into the ropes but Dean takes over with a leg lariat. Malenko ducks a victory roll attempt and German suplexes Chris down for two. Jericho comes right back with a reverse suplex and the Lionsault to Dean’s back for two. The fans are into this match. A release double underhook powerbomb sets up the Cloverleaf but Jericho is too close to the ropes.

Malenko gets crotched on the top but he counters Jericho’s superplex into a DDT off the top for three but the referee waves it off because Jericho had the rope. Chris rolls to the floor and pulls out a foreign object but Dean stomps him down in the corner before Jericho can swing. The referee gets poked in the eyes and Dean takes the knucks away. He knocks Jericho out as the referee clears his eyes out, drawing the DQ.

Rating: C+. Really fast paced match here though the ending is kind of puzzling. Why would you have Malenko get beaten/screwed out of the title every single time, only to have him lose the final match? Jericho has dominated the feud as far as being the better character, but shouldn’t Malenko have gotten to keep the title at least once?

Gene swears that we’ll get the Goldberg interview soon. Apparently Goldberg is fine and in the locker room.

The Nitro Girls are in the crowd.

Long video on Road Wild, focusing on country singer Travis Tritt performing. Again with the celebrities.

Steve McMichael vs. Curt Hennig

McMichael throws Hennig around to start but Curt snaps McMichael’s throat across the top rope. Mongo comes back with a powerslam but a Rude distraction lets Hennig hit the PerfectPlex for the win. Another 90 second match.

We look at another clip from the Tonight Show with Leno bringing out a Hollywood Hogan impersonator who is too old to move.

Cue the Black and White to talk even more. Bischoff promises to fire whoever showed that Leno clip. Hogan says he’ll give Page a huge beating to make up for all the bad things he’s been saying lately. He’s also ready to ride Page real hard all night long. There’s a sex tape joke in there somewhere. Hogan accepts the challenge for a match with Page tonight.

Before that though, here’s the ENTIRE main event from Bash at the Beach. The match plus intros eats up nearly half an hour, including a few commercial breaks. I’m just going to copy and paste this from the Bash at the Beach review.

Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone vs. Dennis Rodman/Hollywood Hogan

Page and Malone have matching attire, which look like they jumped into a vat of hot glue with their jeans on. They come out to some hip hop song that keeps saying “feel the bang.” Malone looks like he’s been carved out of granite while Rodman is in a t-shirt and jeans. The basketball players get us going but first Hogan has to take off Rodman’s glasses. Rodman runs to the ropes to hide and the fans are all over him. That works so well that they do it a second time. A test of strength doesn’t happen as we hit two minutes into the match.

Rodman grabs a headlock but bails to the floor when Malone charges at him. Off to Hogan for a posedown with Hollywood getting frustrated. Malone hooks a kind of standing chinlock (imagine a left arm Rock Bottom but he clasps his hands together and squeezes) before slamming Hogan down. We’re five minutes in now and it’s off to Page. DDP gets Rodman and shoves him down off a lockup. A shoulder puts Rodman down again as the stalling continues. They spit at each other and Rodman armdrags him down. Somehow we’re seven minutes into this match.

They hit the ropes a bit and collide to send both guys down. Back to the headlock by Rodman but Page reverses into one of his own. The fans are clearly getting restless. Rodman leapfrogs Page twice and they collide again to give us more laying down. Malone comes in and kicks at Rodman, sending him over to Hogan for the tag. Karl hooks a top wristlock and shoves Hogan to the mat. Hogan complains of a hair pull and Rodman gets in a cheap shot to get to the whole tag match idea for the first time.

Hogan chokes a lot and slams Malone down before raking the boot over Malone’s eyes. Rodman comes in with some elbow drops before it’s back to Hogan for a chinlock. Here’s Rodman again for some double teaming and a belly to back suplex from Hogan. Hollywood misses an elbow though and it’s hot tag to Page. DDP comes in with a top rope clothesline to Hogan but a cheap shot from Rodman lets the NWO take over again. Hogan chokes away in the corner with his boot followed by a running clothesline.

Rodman comes in for a double big boot and more choking before it’s back to Hogan for right hands in the corner. Page hits a quick elbow but Rodman breaks up the tag attempt and puts on a front facelock. Malone plays cheerleader on the apron and we get the unseen and phantom tag tropes to space the match out even more. The big boot puts Page down but he avoids the legdrop and it’s hot tag off to Malone.

Clotheslines all around put the NWO down and they both get slams. There’s a double noggin knocker followed by Hogan’s head going into the buckle. A big boot drops Hogan and it’s off to Page for a running Diamond Cutter (Hogan landed on his hands, making the move look horrible). Malone Diamond Cuts Rodman but Disciple sneaks in with a Stunner to Page, giving Hogan the pin and a face pop for some reason.

Rating: F. This was about what you knew it was going to be, though it could have been FAR worse. Malone was clearly taking this seriously which is more than you can say for most celebrities in matches. Rodman looked like your usual celebrity wrestler: decent at the one or two really basic moves he used but pretty worthless otherwise. I’ve read before that this was originally booked to go nearly an hour, which makes me shiver in fear. I guess Hogan needed this win as a thank you for the mainstream attention he brought in?

Malone gives Disciple and the referee Diamond Cutters (good ones too) and the NWO celebrates like this is a big deal.

More Leno footage, this time with a Hogan midget.

Hour #3 begins, again about 15 minutes late.

Now it’s time for the Goldberg interview after stringing the TV audience along for an extra hour. Goldberg has been watching what Hogan has been trying to do around here. What they did tonight crossed a line, so he’s going to make Brian Adams an example. This was about 45 seconds long.

Here’s Arn Anderson for what could be a good interview for a change. Gene talks about Anderson’s talk with McMichael and Malenko on Thunder a few weeks back and wants to know why he was so hard on them. Anderson says the three of them tried very hard to make it personal with him and it almost worked. Tonight he was going to gauge the mood to see if the Horsemen had one more run. Then he saw Dean lose to a man that he’s better than and Mongo have a match with the man that brought down the Horsemen in the first place, only to get beaten too. That’s enough for him, so now he’s telling them to drop it.

Sting vs. Scott Hall

Sting starts while the ring is still full of smoke from the entrances, taking Hall down with a bulldog. Scott is sent out to the floor for a breather before coming back in with a toothpick to the face. Some right hands set up the fallaway slam for two but Sting shrugs them off and hits three straight Stinger Splashes. There’s the Death Drop to set up the Scorpion but here’s Bret Hart to distract Sting. He doesn’t fight back as Sting beats on him but Hennig and Vincent come in for the DQ. Too short to rate again but this was angle instead of wrestling.

Luger and Nash come out for the save as Bret still hasn’t gotten physical at all. Nash loads up the Jackknife on Hall but gets hit low. Bret tries to help Sting up but gets kicked low as well. Bret bails to the floor to escape the Scorpion. Hart never attacked Sting at all.

We look at Buff Bagwell suckering Rick Steiner in, only to turn heel again, wasting some of the most natural sympathy WCW ever had at its fingertips.

Scott Steiner shoves Buff down the ramp in a wheelchair and freaks out because Bagwell is hurt. Buff gets to his feet and dances, annoying Gene even more. Bagwell talks about how serious his neck injury was and Scott praises him for the great acting jobs over the last few weeks. Steiner promises to beat up Rick at Road Wild until JJ comes out to yell at Bagwell. Steiner gets a piece too, with promises of a match against Rick. Scott doesn’t seem too scared.

WCW World Title: Brian Adams vs. Goldberg

Vincent distracts Goldberg to start, allowing Adams to hit a top rope shoulder block and a suplex for two. Goldberg hits a belly to belly suplex, three spears (Adams, Vincent, Adams) and the Jackhammer makes it 121-0.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hollywood Hogan

This could have headlined a PPV. We get a music miscue as Hogan’s music starts before Buffer does his intro in both English and Spanish. Hogan jumps him at the entrances as Tenay talks about Page hosting a charity event for school kids in Atlanta. Nothing wrong with that. Page comes back with right hands and some choking in the corner as we’re just waiting on the run ins.

Hogan suplexes Page and pounds away with right hands to the head. A clothesline gets two on Page but misses an elbow drop. Page tries to clothesline Hogan to the floor but Hollywood is all like “that’s WAY too big a spot for me brother.” They fight to the floor and Page has to fight off Disciple. Back in and Hogan hits the corner clothesline, setting up the big boot. Page gets up anyway and grabs the Diamond Cutter, drawing in the NWO for the DQ. Too short to rate (shocking!) but Page was trying.

All of the NWO comes out for a big brawl. Goldberg comes to the ring and beats up the Black and White, only to walk into a chokeslam from Giant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This show was three hours and had seven new matches. Of those seven, ONE was long enough to rate, clocking in at less than six minutes. They spent about 45 minutes (approximately the amount of show time in an hour of programming) on a talk show segment and re-airing a match from PPV. I feel sorry for the San Antonio crowd tonight as they got ripped off tonight.

On top of being really short, how many of these matches meant anything at all? You had two worthless matches, then a good cruiserweight match, a match to advance the Horsemen angle, a match to set up a post match brawl, Goldberg being Goldberg, and a match to set up the post match brawl. Even Raw is better at using its time than that.

Finally there’s the Leno stuff. I understand the idea behind bringing in celebrities, but let’s think about this for a minute. Last month the celebrities were one of the best linebackers of all time, one of the craziest athletes ever and an NBA player at the peak of his career. This month it’s a 48 year old comedian most famous for having a large chin. It wasn’t unreasonable to think that Malone could be passable in the ring due to his athletic abilities.

What else could the Leno match be but bad comedy? It’s bad comedy setting up bad comedy. Yeah it appeals to the middle aged audience that loved the Tonight Show, but how many of them are going to pay $30 to watch Leno do physical comedy? On top of that, we haven’t even had the match announced yet and next week is the go home show for Road Wild. Not only is it a bad idea, but it’s being poorly marketed.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request from a long time ago and I have no idea why anyone wanted to see it. We’re just past Summerslam 2004, meaning Orton is the world champion, having beaten Benoit at Summerslam, only to be thrown out of Evolution the next night. We’re coming up on Unforgiven where HHH would make it VERY clear who ruled Raw and Heaven help anyone that thought otherwise. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Marcin Makulski, a graphics designer for WWE who died either that day or over the weekend.

The opening video shows HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and Orton spitting in his face.

Here’s Evolution for their weekly ten minute chat. HHH says this unit exists because he invented it. It’s his blood, sweat and heart that makes the team what it is today. Just ask Ric Flair, who was down in the dumps before HHH saved him. Batista had no direction or guidance until HHH showed him the way. Dude just say you think you’re Jesus already. That brings HHH to Orton who was supposed to be the pet project. No one cared if Orton lived or died until HHH got hold of him. HHH wasn’t done with him yet, but Orton spat in his face. That’s how he repays HHH?

This brings out Orton who stands next to what appear to be three covered up pictures. Orton tells HHH to call him champ instead of Randy in a nice line. HHH is right: he gave Orton a chance to make a name for himself and HHH should be thanked for that. HHH got something out of it as well though, which leads to the first picture being revealed: a group shot of Evolution with HHH front and center. The team was never about the past, present and future, but only about protecting HHH.

The Game goes into a tirade on how Evolution is all about him because he made it. Orton is one to talk about protection because the three of them protected him for over a year. Randy reveals picture #2: him pinning Chris Benoit all by himself, something HHH could never do.

The third picture is Orton spitting in HHH’s face, making Trips even angrier than before. Orton is ready to fight if HHH wants a piece, but we’re not waiting for Unforgiven. Randy takes off his shirt, but realizes it would be 3-1. He goes over to the third picture and pulls out a sledgehammer. HHH ducks a swing that would have killed him and bails into the crowd, leaving Orton to pose in the ring. Good ending to the segment but it didn’t need to take fifteen minutes.

After a break Bischoff is yelling at Orton for swinging the hammer. As a punishment, Orton is thrown out of the building. Did I mention HHH is facing Eugene later tonight? Orton drops the hammer on Bischoff’s foot.

We recap Rock making a shocking appearance last week to beat up La Resistance with a slight assist from Rhyno and Tajiri.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance/Coach

Rob Conway (who, as of this writing on December 17, 2013, is the NWA World Champion of all people) pounds on Rhyno to start before it’s off to Sylvan Grenier for some neck cranking. The French Canadian tag champions hold Rhyno for a slip from Coach for two as this is already boring. Back to Grenier for a chinlock until Rhyno fights up and makes his comeback with clotheslines. Tajiri keeps getting kicked off the apron to keep him out as Rhyno Gores Coach down. Rhyno walks into Au Revoir (spinning suplex/side slam combo) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my goodness how bad was the tag division at this point? I’m assuming Tajiri was injured or something here as he never came in at all. The match was really dull stuff with La Resistance being one of the least interesting multiple time champions ever and having no opponents of note at all. Terribly uninteresting match.

Papa Roach is here.

We recap Kane and Lita’s wedding which saw a failed run-in from Matt Hardy to try to save the reluctant Lita. Kane’s white tuxedo does rather rule.

Kane tells someone off screen to not come out until he tells them to. It’s not Lita.

Eugene tells Regal about how much he loves baseball and gets on Regal’s nerves. Regal doesn’t want Eugene to come out there for Regal’s match with Batista.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal beat Flair last week with the help of the brass knuckles to set this up. Batista takes Regal into the corner to start and shrugs off a shoulder block attempt. Some knees and elbows have Regal in more trouble but he avoids a charge into the corner and gets a nice suplex on Big Dave. The knee trembler gets two but Regal walks into the spinebuster. Batista goes outside to get a chair but it’s just a distraction so Flair can get in a brass knuckle shot to Regal’s ribs. Batista’s running clothesline (the Batista Bomb was still coming) is good for the pin. Just a squash to wrap up some ends from last week.

Smackdown Your Vote: Republican version. This was a voting drive kind of deal the company did for both parties to get 18-30 year olds involved in politics. Shawn, Ivory and Linda McMahon are representing here.

Here’s Stacy to emcee the Diva Search segment. The Diva Search was exactly what it sounds like and basically filled in the Diva division for about five years. We get the five finalists (Christy Hemme, Carmella Descarse, Joy Giovanni, Maria Kinellis and Amy Weber, all of whom were hired) in swimsuits. Maria gets eliminated despite being arguably the most famous of the final five. She flips Carmella off on the way out and gets the only pop of the segment.

All four of the remaining finalists get thirty seconds to insult the other girls. Joy feels Amy up, spanks Christy and says Carmella has a big mouth. Amy tells Joy to learn how to lick a pie, Christy to settle down and that Carmella knows “S*** about wrestling and that having a c*** in your a** has nothing to do with wrestling.” MAN this was a different era.

Carmella makes fun of Amy for being rejected for Playboy, calls Joy fat and hopes Christy wins if she doesn’t. Christy says don’t mess with fire because she’ll get burned. Amy has fat lips and Carmella enjoys swallowing male bodily fluids in a gutter. Christy does the splits and that’s it. Christy would wind up winning this, even though the most successful of all the girls in the Search had been eliminated weeks ago: Michelle McCool. To say this was extreme compared to the Bellas and Total Divas is an understatement.

Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko make fun of Lita in the back. Kane gets in Tomko’s face to stand up for his wife but winds up laughing with them. Another sign of the times: Kane has six pack abs.

Here are Kane and Lita for Lita’s wedding present. After mentioning an open contract for Unforgiven, Kane thanks her for giving his unborn child a womb to grow in and has a surprise for her as a reward. Matt isn’t here tonight but Kane has flown in his family. The fans go nuts at the thought of Jeff Hardy returning but instead it’s a bunch of random guys, including Pat Hardy, Nat Hardy, Rat Hardy and a 400lb Samoan named Fat Hardy. Kane destroys all of them and chokeslams Rat for a pin since that apparently that was a match.

Kane raises his arms for the fire but Lita says hang on a second because she has a surprise for him too. See, they’re married now and can sign legal documents for each other, such as that open contract. Kane laughs it off because Matt Hardy won’t be able to fight by Unforgiven. Lita is aware of this, which is why she signed Kane to face Shawn Michaels. Kane injured Shawn a few weeks ago, even though he was fine for the voting thing about fifteen minutes ago.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

This should be good. Flair is checked for brass knuckles and the referee actually finds some in his knee pad. Ric takes him into the corner to start but Benoit fights out with chops and a bad looking backdrop. A quick Crossface attempt doesn’t work as Flair makes the rope and we go outside for more chopping. Back in and Flair Flops face first on the mat but comes back with a quick chop block.

Ric fires away with chops and kicks at the knee in the corner before doing what was supposed to be a strut. There’s a half crab of all things on Benoit as Flair needs a breather. They chop it out again until Benoit enziguris him down. Benoit misses the Swan Dive but rolls the Germans anyway. A Sharpshooter almost makes Flair tap but Batista comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that would have been better five years ago with an extra fifteen minutes but at this point it was a shell of what it should have been. Benoit didn’t look like his usual self here but the German suplexes looked great. Flair was starting to slip out there and it was on the verge of getting sad.

Batista powerbombs Benoit.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel with special guest Edge. We get a clip from Jericho challenging Edge for the IC Title and getting dropped throat first on the top rope to retain Edge’s title. It may or may not have been intentional, but Jericho wants a rematch at Unforgiven. Edge comes out on crutches but Jericho doesn’t seem convinced. The champion says he tore his groin over the weekend and claims that he doesn’t need to get disqualified to keep his title.

Jericho talks about Edge getting booed out of Toronto at Summerslam and starts a Y2J chant here in San Francisco. Edge calls the fans puppets and says Jericho can win the popularity contests because he’ll keep winning the matches. Jericho questions the need for Edge’s crutches and thinks as soon as he turns his back, Edge will bash him over the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s injured and promises Jericho the first title shot when he’s healed. The champion goes to leave when Christian returns to jump Jericho. Edge looks confused as Christian whips Jericho with a belt.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Nidia/Victoria

This is Trish’s first match since June even though she never lost the title. Trish and Nidia get things going but Trish gets in a cheap shot to Victoria on the apron. Nidia is easily taken down and kicked in the ribs by the evil Stratus before it’s off to Gail. Kim puts on a freaky looking armbar with her leg wrapped around Nidia’s neck but lets it go a few seconds later. We get the unseen tag as Nidia fights to Victoria but Trish had the referee. Lucky guy.

The tag goes through a few seconds later anyway and Victoria cleans house, getting two on Gail off the spinning side slam. Victoria can’t hit a big boot and has the Widow’s Peak countered, allowing Gail to put on a modified Sharpshooter. Before Victoria can tap a mystery woman falls down the ramp, distracting Gail enough for Victoria to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Gail looked great in her white shorts and evil Trish is one of the hottest things you’ll ever see in wrestling. You add some awesome looking holds from Kim and I can almost forgive the mystery woman (Steven Richards in drag for no apparent reason) being such a stupid ending.

Smackdown ReBound shows Eddie destroying Angle’s car, which wound up being Teddy Long’s. Angle was behind it and gets a 2/3 falls match against Eddie. That was such an awesome feud. Eddie vs. Angle, not Teddy. We also see Orlando Jordan defending the world title against Undertaker in place of an injured JBL. Layfield saved the title while wearing his AWESOME neck halo with his cowboy hat on top.

A sore footed Bischoff makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

We run down the Unforgiven card.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. Eugene comes out in a poorly buttoned San Francisco Giants jersey to suck up to the crowd. You would think he would get how serious this was after HHH beat him up at Summerslam. HHH jumps him again here but Eugene comes back with headlocks and something resembling an AA. Back up and Eugene gets two off a backslide before heading right back to the headlock. HHH comes back with a stiff right hand and a low blow to take over.

Eugene is thrown over the top rope, injuring his arm in the process. HHH of course pounds away on the injured slow guy because he can be a good heel when he tries. No sarcasm in that if you’re looking for any. Back in and Eugene walks into a spinebuster followed by the knee drop so HHH can strut around a bit more. Eugene gets rammed into the buckles but it’s Hulk Up time. He slugs HHH down and hits a top rope ax handle for two followed by an old school thumb to the eye.

A Rock Bottom looks to set up a Stunner but HHH grabs a sleeper. HHH: “ROCK A BYE BABY EUGENE!” Eugene is almost out but HHH lets go before the third arm drop. It didn’t work for Adrian Adonis back in 87 but at least HHH follows up with a Pedigree. HHH lets him up again and pulls out the hammer, only to have Orton (in wrestling gear after wearing a suit earlier for no apparent reason) to take the hammer away. A shot to the ribs and an RKO put HHH down and Orton puts Eugene on top for what is supposed to be some huge moment.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Anyone who has watched wrestling for more than five minutes in their lives knew that Orton was going to cost HHH the match, but it’s not like this really means anything. It doesn’t help when Eugene didn’t move for the last five minutes of the show after a sleeper and a Pedigree.

Overall Rating: D. It’s easy to see why Batista and Cena needed to rise up very soon. This was just boring for the most part, but Orton looked like a star in the making. That’s the perfect explanation for why he lost the title to HHH at the PPV and wouldn’t win another world title for over three years. HHH crippled that push so hard it’s almost unfathomable, but at least HHH got to get the title back after letting other people have it for a full five months. Boring show, as expected from this time period.

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This one really wasn’t that hard.It’s Battleground and I really didn’t have to put a lot of thought into it.  The show just didn’t need to happen and felt like a cash grab.  The Rhodes Brothers vs. Shield was a very good match, but other than that there’s nothing of value on the show.  SOme of the matches were ok, but there’s no reason for them to be on a full priced PPV.  The main event made things even worse with the Bryan vs. Orton feud being dragged out for the sake of being dragged out.  On top of that the midcard stuff sucked.  I mean, is there ANY reason to have the Real Americans vs. Khali/Santino go seven minutes?  Just an unnecessary show and not a good one either.

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In Your House #12: It’s Time
Date: December 15, 1996
Location: West Palm Beach Auditorium, West Palm Beach, Florida
Attendance: 5,708
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The title of this show was odd and a good example of how fast things can change in wrestling. It’s Time was Vader’s catchphrase and tonight was supposed to be a showcase of him as the new WWF Champion, but obviously that didn’t happen. Actually Vader isn’t even on the card due to an injury, making the title all the more inappropriate.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows quick clips of Bret and Sid with the words IT’S TIME in between.

Lawler promises to knock Shawn out if he comes out for commentary.

Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk

Cassidy is more famous as Al Snow but is one half of the New Rockers here. Funk is more famous as 2 Cold Scorpio and is basically a pimp without calling him as much. He has Funkettes and funk music, basically making him the original Brodus Clay. Even Vince dances to the theme song a bit. After a long dance sequence by Funk and his girls we’re ready to go. Funk shoves Cassidy into the ropes to start and dances a bit, only angering Leif as a result.

They trade wristlocks until Flash spins around and grabs an armbar on the mat. Cassidy spins up but a flying snap mare takes him right back down. Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and takes Leif down into a headlock. Back up and Flash tries to go up but slips off the ropes, only to pop back up and hit a cross body to set up another armbar. A headscissors out of the corner is countered into a reverse powerbomb by Cassidy and the Rocker takes over.

Cassidy blocks a right hand and traps Funk’s arms for some headbutts, followed by a belly to belly over the top and out to the floor. Leif follows it up with a springboard moonsault to the floor in a great looking dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Flash fights up and dances a bit more. Another powerbomb attempt by Cassidy is countered and Flash lands on his feet, dancing again. Leif comes back with a sitout spinebuster for a very delayed two count. Off to a modified dragon sleeper but Leif lets him go very quickly for some reason.

Funk avoids a middle rope moonsault as you can see a lot of empty seats not that far from the ring. Funk hits the ropes and cartwheels into a spinning enziguri, sending Leif out tot he floor. Another big dive takes Cassidy down before a gorgeous top rope moonsault gets two for Funk. They trade some quick rollups for two each until Flash scores with an enziguri and the Funky Flash Splash (450 and yes that’s the real name) gets the pin. We even get a rare error from JR who calls it a Shooting Star Press.

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going but for its time, this was pretty awesome. Funk is a personal favorite of mine who could fly like few other mainstream guys at this time. Cassidy was no slouch either but it would take an absurd gimmick to get him noticed, which is a shame at the end of the day.

Tag Titles: Diesel/Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the story that I didn’t want to get to earlier on but I’m stuck with it now. No these aren’t the real Hall and Nash returning, but rather people that JR brought in and who are being used as something resembling a parody of the guys who were on top of the wrestling world at this point.

Originally JR talked about how the person didn’t actually matter and the gimmicks were what got Hall and Nash over, which is actually a nice jab at them. That didn’t last long though and eventually became a basic parody, though Rick Bogner (Fake Razor) looks like he’s wearing a Razor Ramon costume and mask. Glenn Jacobs (Fake Diesel) actually looks like the real thing from behind and when he’s wearing sunglasses, making him far more bearable in the costume. We’ll be hearing from Jacobs again in a few months.

As for the match, the idea is that the champions are having problems because Steve Austin has been messing with their heads. Diesel starts with Owen as JR gets into full analytical mode now that some of his buddies are in there. Diesel drives Owen into the corner and fires off some elbows before shoving Owen off the ropes. Owen comes back with some right hands but gets slammed down with ease. Two guys from Mexican wrestling company AAA named Pierroth and Cibernetico are in the aisle to distract the Bulldog for some reason.

Off to Bulldog vs. Razor with the latter doing a pretty decent imitation of the real Razor’s mannerisms, but the whole thing falls apart as soon as you see his face. Bulldog fires off some forearms as the AAA guys leave, only to be replaced by Austin. Bulldog hits a quick cross body but goes to the floor to get in a fight with Austin. Steve is taken to the back but the distraction allows Razor to hit a spinning right hand, sending Bulldog into the corner for a tag off to Owen.

Hart gets a quick two off a missile dropkick but Diesel pulls the top rope down to send him out to the floor. Diesel rams Owen back first into the post before sending him back in for an armbar from Razor. Off to Diesel for a sidewalk slam but he stomps away instead of covering. Ramon comes back in and hits a pumphandle fall away slam for two before grabbing a reverse chinlock. The fans are almost entirely behind the champions, despite them being huge heels at this point.

Diesel gets two off a big boot (which clearly missed by several inches) but the fans all think he sucks. Owen gets a boot of his own up in the corner and takes Diesel down with a nice enziguri. There’s the hot tag off to Bulldog who cleans house with clotheslines and forearms all around. A quick vertical suplex gets two on Razor as everything breaks down. Owen is whipped into Diesel who catches him in midair but Bulldog dropkicks his partner in the back, sending them both to the floor. Owen slides back in to spinwheel kick Razor in the face to break up a Razor’s Edge attempt and score a quick pin to retain.

Rating: C-. As stupid as the gimmick was, the match wasn’t too bad at all. Diesel was actually very solid in the ring and would be around for many more years under a different gimmick. Razor was just kind of there though and the match was definitely weaker when he was in the ring. Not bad stuff for the most part though.

Post match Austin immediately hits the ring for some cheap shots on the Bulldog, possibly injuring his knee.

Here’s Ahmed Johnson for an interview. He’s looking forward to the Royal Rumble for his shot at Faarooq because he’s lost everything due to the injury Faarooq caused. Johnson has lost his car, his girlfriend and his house so now it’s time for revenge. All he has left are the people, but before he can go into that here’s the Nation of Domination, Faarooq’s semi-militant black power group. Faarooq goes into a rant about how Johnson’s people have no future but everyone is looking to Faarooq for their hope. Johnson wants to fight right now and starts his trademark YOU’RE GOING DOWN chant.

We recap Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero for the Intercontinental title. Helmsley took the title from Mero the night after Buried Alive with Mero replacing Mr. Perfect. It turns out that Perfect had been grooming Helmsley to steal the title from Mero and their rift from a few months ago was all a ruse. Helmsley won the title and threw Perfect out of the WWF, leading to a rematch tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero

Thankfully Helmsley has officially been nicknamed HHH by this point, making my typing far easier. The champion grabs a hammerlock and takes Mero down to the mat, only to be countered into a hammerlock as well. Back up and they fight over a top wristlock before Mero scores with a hiptoss. A dropkick and clothesline put Helmsley on the floor and Mero hits a nice dive to take him out again.

Back in and Mero keeps the pressure on with a backdrop and some right hands in the corner, only to have HHH drop him face first on the buckle to take over. That doesn’t last long either though as a Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top rope, sending HHH back to the floor. Mero gives chase but HHH hides behind Sable like the coward that he is. It’s Mero being sent into the steps now with the champion firmly in control.

Helmsley grabs a chair but the referee takes it away, only to allow Helmsley to send Mero into the steps again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mero down again as Vince apologizes for satellite transmission problems. Another backbreaker gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch. It’s nice to see a basic story here and it’s working quite well. Things don’t have to be complicated to work which is a lesson so many wrestling companies and wrestlers in general can’t understand.

The referee catches HHH using the ropes for additional leverage and breaks up the hold, triggering a shoving match between referee Earl Hebner and the champion. This would actually become a recurring bit between the two of them over the years. Mero tries to speed things up but charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. HHH goes up but dives into a boot to the face as well, giving Mero the breather he needed. A hard whip turns HHH upside down in the corner and a knee to the ribs puts him down again.

Mero gets two off a headscissors and a top rope hurricanrana looks to set up the Wild Thing. Helmsley is nothing if not resourceful though and sends Hebner into the ropes, crotching Mero down onto the buckle. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot which sends Helmsley head first into the post but only gets a two count. A moonsault press (the Merosault) gets another two but Marc clotheslines the referee down.

Helmsley scores with a neckbreaker but there’s no one to count. The title belt is brought in but Mero avoids a shot to the head and gets a rolling cradle but there’s still no referee. Helmsley is whipped int the corner and goes flying to the outside where Mero scores with another dive. Cue Goldust for no apparent reason to swing another Intercontinental Title at HHH but hitting Mero by mistake. The referee is back up to count and only Mero gets back in to beat the count, earning a countout win. No title change though.

Rating: C. Again not a bad match at all with Mero still being great in the air and Helmsley really starting to get into the heel mode that would make him a legend. The Goldust stuff didn’t do much for me but he would be feuding with Helmsley more extensively soon enough. Good stuff here though.

Post match Mero hits the Wild Thing on HHH for fun. Goldust gets in some cheap shots in the aisle as his face push continues.

Sid is very happy to be here even though he and Shawn got in a brawl earlier this morning. Bret tried to intervene and took a beating from Sid as well. Sid whispers a lot, saying that he beat Shawn and Shawn beat Bret, ergo he can beat Bret.

We recap the Executioner vs. Undertaker, which should be obvious if you read the previous show. Undertaker was back at Survivor Series, basically looking like Batman and wearing a better looking outfit. The guy in the executioner’s mask is now known as Executioner if that wasn’t clear. He attacked Undertaker at Survivor Series but tonight it’s one on one.

Executioner vs. Undertaker

This is an Armageddon match, meaning after a fall the person who was pinned or submitted has a ten count to get to his feet. Basically it’s a last man standing match but the counts don’t start until after a fall. Executioner is former Freebird (legendary 80s team) Terry Gordy who was about ten miles past his prime here. Undertaker runs him over to start and backdrops Executioner before booting him in the face. A whip into the corner gets Executioner tied up in the Tree of Woe so Undertaker can stomp away even more.

He takes too much time glaring at Paul Bearer though and misses a splash in the corner. It doesn’t seem to affect Undertaker that much though as he’s right back up, only to miss an elbow drop. A clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he lands on his feet and pulls Executioner to the floor. Paul blasts him with the urn to little effect but being sent into the post works a bit better. A clothesline puts Executioner back down though and Undertaker peels the mats back, only to have Mankind roll out from under the announce table to double team Undertaker down.

They head inside but Undertaker clotheslines both of them out to the floor and fights them up the aisle. Undertaker throws Mankind through the In Your House set window, punches him around the back and knocks him through the door as well. Executioner gets back up and they head back to ringside with Undertaker being caught by the numbers game again. Security comes out and spray mace at Mankind to little effect as the other two head back to the set. They brawl backstage and outside as Mankind has been put in a straitjacket.

The camera only shows us the steps and never goes outside with Undertaker and Executioner, so we cut back to the arena to see Mankind in the jacket stumbling around ringside. We finally get a camera outside and see a wide shot of Undertaker knocking Executioner into the water. He heads back inside to get some more of Mankind who charges at him while still in the straitjacket. Eventually a dry Executioner comes back to the ring and gets tombstoned for the easy pin and ten count.

Rating: D-. To call this a mess is an insult to messes. The Armageddon stuff was worthless because there wasn’t even a fall attempted until the very end. This was also the last major appearance for Executioner and I can’t say I’m surprised. He was just a generic big guy that never did anything of note. Terrible match here that was trying WAY too hard.

Bret looks at the video from earlier today with the three way fight between himself, Shawn and Sid, saying he wouldn’t put anything past Shawn. He gets cut off by Shawn’s music and is even more ticked off.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

Shawn is on commentary due to getting the winner at the Royal Rumble and immediately jumps on Bret (verbally), blasting him for not putting people over and making it all about himself. Bret jumps Sid from behind and pounds away with Shawn still getting in jab after jab at him. A hard whip into the corner and a clothesline put Bret down though as the champion takes over. Sid hits a running kick to the side of the head before stomping away in the corner. Bret comes back with a shot to the ribs and drops some elbows as Shawn rips into Bret for his lack of emotion.

Sid punches him to the floor for nothing of note before going back inside where Bret gets backdropped right back to the floor. The mats are peeled back again but Bret pushes Sid into the post to break up an attempted powerbomb. Bret picks him up and rams him back first into the post before heading back inside for some kicks to the spine. Off to a reverse chinlock which is usually a heel move but Bret is a face, despite wrestling a heel style here. Sid is allegedly a heel but the fans like him, though not as much as Bret. 1996 was weird.

Bret stomps away in the corner but uses the referee’s break to untie a turnbuckle pad. Sid blocks a ram into the buckle but gets suplexed down for two. The Russian legsweep gets the same and Bret follows up with a snap suplex for no cover. A middle rope elbow to the back gets two more as Bret isn’t hooking the leg for some reason as per his custom, but for once the announcers are calling him out on it.

Bret goes up but gets slammed off and punched HARD in the face. There’s a big boot for two and Shawn makes sure to point out Sid hooking the leg. Sid misses an elbow drop but kicks Bret to the floor to break up the Sharpshooter. Cue Steve Austin out of nowhere with a chop block to take Bret’s knee out. This brings out the Bulldog and Owen to take out Austin but the damage has been done. Bret gets back in with a bad limp but Sid is tentative to go after him, possibly due to Bret’s history of goldbricking but I don’t think Sid is that bright.

The champion finally pounds Bret down into the corner and stomps away with pure power. Bret escapes Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle but gets sent chest first into it instead which suits him very well. A big chokeslam gets two for the Sycho (yes that’s how it’s spelled in the WWF) but Sid misses a charge, allowing Bret to hit a Cactus Clothesline and send both guys to the floor. Bret grabs a chair (Shawn: “There’s your role model!) but Sid takes it away with ease. Sid shoves Shawn down, bringing Michaels to the apron. Bret is sent into Shawn to stun the Canadian, allowing Sid to powerbomb him and retain.

Rating: C+. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t all that bad. The face/heel dynamic here was very strange to say the least but it actually worked in the end. Bret is the kind of guy that can work with any style and bouncing around for a monster is one of his specialties. Good main event here though not great. In an impressive note, Sid has now pinned Shawn and Bret at consecutive PPVs, which is quite the feat.

Post match Shawn is injured from being knocked off the apron and Bret pounds away on him. Bret leaves in a huff and Shawn promises to kick Bret’s teeth down his throat to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. For a two hour show at a cost of $20, this was actually pretty solid stuff. The Undertaker match was dreadful but other than that there isn’t anything bad on the card. We’re definitely past the worst point and things should start going up from here. The threeway feud over the world title is interesting stuff and the promos that built it up were even better. There’s nothing groundbreaking or worth going out of your way to see here, but it was a pleasant surprise after so many awful shows so far.

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NXT
Date: December 14, 2010
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

It’s week 2 of NXT and things are looking good so far. Last week was a good start so hopefully that continues here. I’d like to see more of their characters come out this time though which isn’t something we got to see much of on the season premiere. It’s weird to be getting ready for NXT and to have a positive outlook on it. Let’s get to it.

We open as always, with Striker bringing out the rookies. We’re opening with a karaoke challenge. I already don’t like this. There are six envelopes with wrestlers’ theme songs that they have to sing. O’Brian gets Sheamus and we FINALLY get the official words to Sheamus’ song. Surprisingly it doesn’t say Lobster Head. His voice is all nasal and this is just awful.

Bateman gets Miz. He’s not bad but the pacing is all off. He throws in a shoutout to the college football team which is smart.

Novak gets a pop as he comes up for some reason. He gets Dolph Ziggler, who happens to be his pro. Novak sounds really quite drunk. He more or less just says the words which might be the best course of action.

Clay, the white Viscera, goes third with Cody Rhodes’ song….and doesn’t do half bad. It’s more talking but there was a little flair to it. Best so far.

Curtis gets Orton and gets down in the slither pose. I know nothing about music and I’m not sure if this worked or not. Imagine a guy trying to sing like James Hetfield without having talent and singing Orton’s song and that’s about it.

Saxton is last and draws Shawn Michaels whose name gets a bigger pop than anything else so far. He messes up one of the most famous lyrics in wrestling history. How is that possible? He does dance a bit which helps somewhat. Saxton wins which I guess is the best choice as he was definitely trying.

Masters/Saxton vs. DiBiase/Clay up next.

Profile on Novak who says he used to play every spots, including football. They had a motto on the team: DTD – Determined to Dominate. He says he’s destined to dominate. That’s a good line. Novak says he’s the most like Jack Swagger on the roster and that you have to look out for #1, and that’s him. Kind of a generic promo/character but he sold it quite well.

Chris Masters/Byron Saxton vs. Ted DiBiase/Brodus Clay

See I told you it was up next. You didn’t think I’d lie to you did you? Josh talks about having dinner with Brodus recently and that he’s a fascinating person. He actually comes off as that which is good. The rookies start us off. Clay shoves him around with ease so here’s Masters instead.

After a little back and forth stuff Ted comes in and we actually take a break on NXT. Back with Ted holding a chinlock on Masters. I like this Brodus guy. Masters fights out of the corner but walks into a dropkick from Ted for two. In a funny bit Masters brings in Saxton and in a Shawn Stasiak like moment he charges and is taken down immediately.

Clay hits a huge spinebuster but tags DiBiase back in. A kneedrop misses and Saxton is able to get out and it’s pro on pro again. Another spinebuster, this time from Masters, hits DiBiase as does an accidentally shot from Clay. Masters calls for the Masterlock but Saxton gets a quick tag and walks into Dream Street to end it at approximately 7:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but it did its job with Clay looking good for a big man and Saxton getting a bit of character development as being a headstrong guy that isn’t as good as he thinks he is. This worked ok though and wasn’t a bad match at all.

We go to the back where Bateman is warming up when Bryan comes in. He says that Bateman has a match tonight so Bryan is going to teach him a hold. It’s a heel hook which Bryan demonstrates step by step (Hey kids! Pay attention as the United States Champion shows you a basic way to snap someone’s ankle in three easy steps!) how to do it and tells Bateman to do it now. Bateman goes insane and shouts about how he’s doing submission wrestling while Bryan is telling him what to do. In order to get Bateman to chill, Bryan KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! I told you that was the best solution to a lot of problems! Funny segment.

Obstacle Course time, but this time it’s for TWO immunity points. Novak goes first and does relatively well until he gets to the push-ups where he has to start over. He sets the time to beat at 37.9 seconds.

Saxton goes second and is a jerk to Striker. I guess he’s not all bad. Saxton falls going over the hurdles and slams his head. He can’t do push-ups either and goes over a minute.

O’Brian is third but messes up on the wall/hurdle as well. He can’t do the balance beam that well and winds up getting 42.7.

Bateman is fourth and the referees are REALLY anal about these push-ups. Bateman manages to break the time at 35.7.

Curtis says he’s feeling very gazelle-like and breaks the time but the referees say he messed up on the balance beam so it’s a disqualification.

Brodus Clay is last and literally throws the walls out of his way. Naturally he’s disqualified though.

Curtis gets another chance to a chorus of boos. He destroys the time at 31.4 seconds.

Profile on Curtis who talks about dabbling in a lot of stuff. He and a friend of his trained in a ring in the woods apparently and the friend was killed in a car wreck so he has dog tags on his tights because of it. That’s a cool story.

Raw Rebounds wastes some time.

Jacob Novak hits on Vickie for some reason. Ziggler comes in and asks Vickie to leave. He’s not happy and more or less says hands off. Is there a reason why Vickie is going to be a focal point of a storyline on this show in back to back seasons?

Ad for the 50 Greatest Superstars DVD which might be worth looking at.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Derrick Bateman

This should be short in theory. Alberto asks Ricardo to take out Bateman. Del Rio dominates early on as you would expect him to. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this match to put it mildly. Bateman makes a brief comeback and gets a modified neckbreaker. Think the Moonlight Drive that Morrison used back on ECW. Cross Armbreaker ends it in about 3:20. Not much more than a squash.

Rating: C. Really hard to grade this as it’s barely a competitive match. They tend to have one of these a season and I’m not entirely sure I get the point to them. Del Rio has a major match on the PPV so why would we believe that Bateman stands a chance against him? Also, why not have a rookie against Bateman? Either way it wasn’t bad but it was rather short.

Overall Rating: B. Another good episode this week as things continue to look up for this season. We got some character development, two challenges that went by pretty fast and two matches. That’s pretty good for a little under an hour I’d say, especially considering a 3-4 minute Raw Recap plus commercials. I’m liking this 6 man set of rookies as it’s definitely more workable. Nothing bad at all here and some decent stuff make this a solid outing for the second episode of the season. Good show.

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