To me.  The first post ever on the site was three years ago today.

Good grief I sucked back then.

Thunder
Date: July 16, 1998
Location: Oakland Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 13,393
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

I can’t believe I’m saying this but Hogan is one of the best things about WCW right now. He was evil again on Monday instead of being the guy who takes nothing seriously. That being said, he really doesn’t seem to mind that he’s lost the world title. His reaction on Monday was basically “Eh, I’ll get back to that when I have time.” That doesn’t do anything for the title but that never seemed to be a priority in WCW. Let’s get to it.

Apparently this is a three hour show. Oh freaking joy.

Speaking of three hours, weren’t we supposed to see Hogan vs. Goldberg in its entirety again on Monday? I guess not being able to remember a promise you made five days earlier is a universal problem in wrestling.

We open with a Nash interview from after Nitro went off the air Monday. He says he isn’t pleased with what Hall did and calls it strike two. It’s all Hogan’s fault of course, but Nash is going to have to knock some sense into Hall. Tenay is conducting the interview and spends most of it sucking up to the Outsiders because WCW now supports the Wolfpack I guess.

Konnan vs. El Dandy

Konnan raps on the way to the ring and sucks up to the Oakland crowd. Dandy is quickly taken down and stomped on a bit before he comes back with a clothesline. An abdominal stretch has Konnan in trouble but he dares to doubt El Dandy. Konnan flapjacks him down and it’s the 187 into the Tequila Sunrise for the easy win.

Road Wild ad.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Lizmark Jr.

This is going to be a long three hours. Dragon fires off the kicks to start and does his headstand in the corner before kicking Lizmark in the chest. Lizmark chops him a bit and gets a nice belly to back suplex to set up an abdominal stretch on the mat. Back up and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Lizmark. The nitwit fans are booing this. A rollup and fallaway slam get two each on Dragon as this has almost been one sided. Lizmark’s Lionsault hits legs though and both guys are down. Back up and Lizmark tries a Samoan drop of all things, only to have Dragon land on his feet and hook the Dragon Sleeper for the win.

Rating: C. Better match than I expected here as Lizmark got to show off. Dragon is on his way out of the company at this point so maybe that’s why he was on defense so long out there. It wasn’t anything that was going to set the world on fire but I can think of worse ways to spend four and a half minutes.

The announcers talk about DDP and Hennig not happening last week but they’ll try to do it tonight instead.

Here’s Page to talk about how much he hates Hogan and his ego. He’s right here if Hogan wants to jump him, but tonight it’s Hennig that will feel the BANG. Short stuff from Page tonight.

The next Thunder isn’t for three weeks. I think that’s a Christmas miracle.

Public Enemy vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Rock cranks on Wright’s arm to start but gets backdropped out to the floor. He doesn’t seem all that hurt but Wright sends him back inside anyway. Rocco’s superplex attempt is countered into a front suplex off the top for two as Rocco still doesn’t seem that bothered. Off to Disco vs. Grunge with Inferno getting punched all over the ring. Wright walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam as Public Enemy throws in a table. Tokyo Magnum tries to come in for a save but gets crushed against the table. Alex uses the distraction to grab a neckbreaker on Grunge for the pin.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not this hasn’t been a horrible feud. There’s a nice idea with the goofy guys facing the brawlers and it’s actually working. The matches haven’t been anything of note but I haven’t been bored when watching them. That’s more than I can say about a lot of WCW matches and feuds.

Post match Meng comes out and destroys everyone in sight. Barbarian comes out to try and stop Meng but gets a Death Grip for his efforts. Meng destroys even more people.

Dean Malenko vows to get his hands on Jericho soon enough. Tony asks him about Arn Anderson helping him out at Bash at the Beach. Dean says he’ll talk to Arn before he leaves tonight.

Jim Duggan vs. Roadblock

A quick (work with me here) clothesline put the 400lb+ Roadblock on the floor but he elbows Duggan in the jaw back inside. The big man hits some forearms to the back like any good clubbing monster would before Duggan clotheslines him out again. Back in and the ten right hands in the corner have Roadblock in trouble but he grabs a bearhug to slow Duggan down. Jim breaks free, hits the Three Point Clothesline and drops Old Glory (knee drop) for the pin.

Rating: D. Shockingly watchable match but again, why did they need to have this match? Was there no one on the roster that needed a TV win? It’s like they just pick these names out of a hat like at Lethal Lottery. The match wasn’t even bad but it doesn’t need to exist given some of the people on this roster.

Bret Hart says he doesn’t mind if the fans don’t like him. They don’t matter and he’s already taken care of Flair, Benoit and Booker (complete with making fun of the way Booker speaks). No one is safe around here and he’ll take out anyone he wants.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

This should be good. Kanyon grabs two quick rollups for two each but Saturn grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Schiavone of course brags about the basketball match instead of talking about ANYTHING going on during the match. Lee Marshall of all people gets him back on track. Saturn fires off some kicks in the corner but gets caught in a neckbreaker to put both guys down.

We hit the chinlock from Kanyon followed by a hotshot for two more. A PerfectPlex gets two for Kanyon as does a slingshot elbow drop from the apron. Kanyon drives shoulders into Saturn’s ribs in the corner but misses a charging shoulder and gets rolled up for two. The fans want Arn and go WOO a lot. Saturn scores with a great looking superkick for two but walks into the Flatliner for the same result. The Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets yet another two for Kanyon but Saturn pops up and hits the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest with both guys hitting one big move after another. As usual the story hasn’t gone anywhere yet but it was still entertaining stuff which is what this dull show has needed. Why couldn’t these guys get another five minutes and Roadblock’s match been cut?

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

The Chavo chants before the match already get on Eddie’s nerves and Psychosis uses the distraction to get a quick rollup for two. They trade rollups and counters to start until Eddie grabs a quick suplex to take over. Psychosis pops back up and kicks Guerrero in the head to send him outside. A nice plancha from the top takes Eddie out again and he’s kind enough to just stand there and wait on Psychosis to go up. Back in and Eddie grabs a quick shoulder breaker and starts in on the arm.

We get an actual hammerlock in a cruiserweight match. I don’t remember the last time I saw that. Eddie stays on the arm but misses a charge in the corner. Psychosis goes up and here’s Chavo, dressed like the Lone Ranger. Psychosis dives on him for no apparent reason before Eddie dives on both of them for a slightly more adequately explored reason. Back in and Psychosis hits a top rope hurricanrana and a gordbuster, only to have Chavo hit him with the stick horse. Eddie’s frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Chavo continues to entertain but I’m not sure where they’re going with the story at this point. They’ve kind of hit a wall as Eddie has taken his hair but Chavo doesn’t seem to mind. At least it’s fun stuff though which is more than Chavo had been doing before this whole thing started. Eddie is getting a nice push out of it too.

We get the Nash interview from earlier which leads us into Scott Hall with something to say. No survey since California is clearly Black and White country, so on to Nash. Apparently Nash is a big goof who wouldn’t help Hall when he had money troubles, so Hall turned to Hogan and Bischoff. Hall declares himself Medium Sexy the Nash Killer and that he’s sexier than ten movie stars. Again, not much here.

Scott Norton vs. Ciclope

Norton, officially in black and white, powerbombs him for the pin in 15 seconds.

Stevie Ray is here to explain why he has the TV Title. Apparently Booker was in his hospital bed and looked up at Stevie (“With those big brown eyes”) and told Stevie how great of a champion he was. Booker gave Stevie power of attorney and Ray has a hand written note to prove it. Booker even picked the opponent tonight.

TV Title: Stevie Ray vs. Damien

Another total squash with Ray just mauling him. A powerslam gets no cover and Damien makes the jobber comeback with chops and a dropkick. Stevie clotheslines him down and the Slap Jack retains the title.

Here are Hennig, Rude and Hall with something to say. Rude thinks Page is nothing more than a flash in the pan. Hennig things DDP stands for Dirtball Dallas Punk and complains that his bird is too sick to relieve himself on a picture of DDP. Konnan comes out for Wolfpack reasons, calls Hall a mark, slaps Hennig, and runs.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

In a funny bit, Tenay talks about some Oakland A’s being here. Heenan: “Gehrig is here.” Tony: “Lou?” Heenan: “Al. He parks cars.” Feeling out process to start with Rey taking control of the arm and ducking an enziguri. Juvy chops away until Rey goes for a springboard dropkick but gets dropkicked out of the air. A suplex gets two for Guerrera and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Mysterio gets two off a rollup before kicking Juvy in the back to take over. Now it’s Juvy heading to the apron and connecting with his springboard missile dropkick for two. They head up top with Juvy being punched out to the floor, setting up a BIG dive from Mysterio. Back in and Rey hits the ropes, only to get caught in the Juvy Driver for a very close two. The 450 is broken up and Rey sets for the West Coast Pop, only to have Bret Hart of all people come out with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Surprising ending aside, what else were you expecting from Guerrera vs. Mysterio? It’s good to see Rey getting to test his knee out against someone who can give him a run for his money. Juvy continues to be awesome but never seems to go anywhere as a result. Some things never change around here.

Both small guys are beaten down with the chair. Juvy gets a Sharpshooter and Mysterio is put in the figure four around the post. This is really the best thing they can come up with for Bret Hart?

Hugh Morrus/Barbarian vs. Marty Jannetty/Chris Adams

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Adams pounds on Morrus to start before bringing Marty in for a superkick. The crowd is clearly heading to the concourse during this. Everything quickly breaks down and Adams is sent to the floor, allowing Morrus to moonsault Jannetty for the pin. Another nothing match.

Post match Meng comes out and destroys people. They’re so strapped for ideas that they did the same low level angle twice in one night.

Here’s Dean Malenko who demands to see Arn Anderson face to face. Here’s Arn to the awesome Horsemen music but Mongo comes out before Dean can say anything. A LOUD We Want Flair starts up as Dean talks about Benoit being a close friend. Malenko talks about being in New Japan and getting to talk to Arn while he was on a tour. They got to know each other pretty well back then and they have a common work ethic. Anderson got Dean a job in WCW and Malenko never got a chance to thank him.

Dean says Benoit and Mongo believe in Anderson and Dean thinks Arn’s guidance could be what they all need. Malenko holds up the four fingers and that’s enough for Arn. He’s told them this once before and now he’s going to do it with some bass in his voice. You don’t just join the Horsemen. It’s a team you’re chosen for. Being a Horseman means wrestling all the time even when you don’t want to. It means wrestling when you bury your grandmother in the morning and when your son has burned a hole in his foot that you can fit your thumb in.

Dean hasn’t earned the right to hold up four fingers because he doesn’t understand it. Nobody has the fire in them like Arn does and he takes off his shirt. He wants to be out here but his neck won’t let him do it anymore. The Horsemen are over, so let them be over. Amazing stuff here from Anderson, even by his standards.

Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hall, Rude and Vincent come out with Hennig. Page goes into the crowd as usual but here’s Konnan before Page gets to the ring. We take a break and indeed it’s a tag match.

Diamond Dallas Page/Konnan vs. Curt Hennig/Scott Hall

Hennig starts with Konnan but it’s off to Page before any contact. They lock up and fight to the floor where Hennig slaps him in the back of the head. Back in and Page grabs a swinging neckbreaker. A second attempt sends Hennig running to the floor and it’s off to Hall vs. Konnan. Hall grabs the arm for the driving shoulders before slapping Konnan in the back of the head. That must be an AWA move.

Konnan fights up and shoves Hall down to slow the pace. Back up and Konnan grabs a quick X Factor before Hall gets punched back and forth like a pinball. Page comes in but can’t hit the Diamond Cutter but clotheslines Hall down to set up a Konnan chinlock. They get up again and Hall can’t catch a cross body. Instead he lifts Konnan up for a fallaway slam to take over. Off to Hennig for a knee lift before he suckers Page in.

Hall breaks up a hot tag attempt with an elbow to the back and puts on a reverse chinlock. Scott lets go of the hold and lets Konnan up before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Now it’s the hot tag to Page who punches both Hall and Hennig from corner to corner. Hall gets in a cheap shot though and Hennig drops Page with a right hand for two. A great dropkick and right hand both get the same and we take a break.

Back with Page pounding on Hennig in the corner before Hall sneaks in behind him for the fall away slam. Off to the abdominal stretch on Page’s bad ribs before it’s back to Hennig for more stomping. Hall comes back in for a clothesline and sleeper but Page counters into one of his own. Scott suplexes his way to freedom and both guys are down again. The double tag brings in Konnan vs. Hennig as everything breaks down. Rude gets in a cheap shot on Konnan and it’s a PerfectPlex for the pin as Page Diamond Cuts Hall on the floor.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but it was at the end of a very long show. They did the formula stuff here and that’s a good idea for old school guys like Hall and Hennig. It doesn’t really advance anything but it’s nice to see the factions at war actually in a match for a change. Decent enough stuff.

Overall Rating: D. This had its moments but it’s just WAY too long. Like I said, they had two Meng vs. Barbarian segments in the same show. Let that sink in for a minute. The show wasn’t completely horrible but there was no reason for this to be a three hour episode. It would have been much better had they given some of the matches more time, but for some reason they flew through everything instead of letting anything other than the main event develop.

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D-Generation X: In Your House #19
Date: December 7, 1997
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,358
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Since the show is named after DX, it only makes sense that one of their members is in the main event. In this case it’s WWF Champion Shawn Michaels defending the title against Ken Shamrock who was named #1 contender for no particular reason. Seriously there’s nothing more to it than that. One night it was just announced that he would challenge for the title and that was it. Let’s get to it.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoku

This is a tournament final to determine the new champion. The title had actually been around for years but was only defended in Mexico and Japan while never being mentioned in American. Christopher plays to the crowd before we get going but scores with a quick slam to take over. An armdrag puts Taka down again as the Jerry’s Kid chant starts up again. Taka flips out of a German suplex and takes Brian down with a pair of kicks to the face and a clothesline to send him out to the floor. A HUGE springboard dive off the top takes Christopher out again and fires up the crowd a bit.

Brian crotches Taka on the top rope as they come back in and a dropkick sends Michinoku back to the floor. Taka avoids a dive off the apron to send Brian into the barricade but misses a cross body back inside to give Christopher control again. Now it’s Brian’s turn to miss a charge, allowing Taka to hit a tornado DDT for two. A hurricanrana sends Brian to the floor again and a top rope moonsault takes him out. Lawler goes to help his son back inside but Taka dropkicks Christopher right back down.

Back inside and a pair of dropkicks put Brian down again but Taka gets caught in a full nelson legsweep. There’s a sitout powerbomb by Christopher but he poses too much, allowing Taka to grab a rollup for two. A missile dropkick to the back of Taka’s head puts him down again and a backbreaker gets two.

Brian stays cocky by slapping Taka in the face over and over (Jerry: “Just like I slapped Andy Kaufman!”) before clotheslining him down for two. Now the release German suplex connects but Brian takes forever to cover. Instead it’s a powerslam to put Taka down but Christopher misses the top rope legdrop, allowing Taka to hit the Michinoku Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Really basic match here but it made sense to put the belt on Taka at first. Christopher was just a guy who happened to be in the weight division and never fight the style at all. The match wasn’t bad or anything but the division never worked nearly as well as the company hoped it to.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Remember the match they had on the last show? Well here it is again but in a six man match with Savio and Crush sitting this one out. Crush isn’t here due to an injury and Savio is ejected to really make it three on three. Miguel and Chainz get us going with the biker cleaning house and sending Miguel into the corner for a tag off to Jesus. 8-Ball comes in as well to send Jesus face first into the mat.

Off to Jose who is powerslammed down, followed by a knee drop from Skull for two. A side slam and swinging neckbreaker put Jose down again but the other Boricuas interfere to take over. Miguel hits something off the top but hurts his leg so it’s off to Jesus for a chinlock. A jumping back elbow from Jose puts Skull down again as Savio tries to come out and replace Miguel. Skull avoids a charge into the post and makes a hot tag off to Chainz. House is cleaned with Chainz hitting a Death Valley Driver but the referee is distracted by Savio, allowing a perfectly fine Miguel to sneak in and blast Chainz, giving Jose the pin.

Rating: D+. Not only was the match boring but it couldn’t have been more uninteresting if it tried. There’s just no reason to care about these guys and there’s no real story other than they’re both gangs. Savio and Crush were the only people in the match people would have cared about and they weren’t even around. Horrible idea here.

Butterbean, a professional boxer, says he’s ready for Marc Mero.

We look at a recap of Mero vs. Butterbean, which is about Mero being obsessed with people looking at Sable. Therefore, he challenged Butterbean to a fight which was eventually called a Toughman contest to avoid issues with the state athletic commission. The idea is Mero is insanely jealous and challenged Butterbean to a fight as a result.

Marc Mero vs. Butterbean

Butterbean is a legitimate boxer who weighed over 300lbs so this is fixed to prevent Mero from being killed. There are four two minute rounds and Mero runs a lot to start round one. He hides in the ropes and Butterbean gets annoyed so he knocks Mero off the apron with a big right hand. Back in and they keep feeling each other out with nothing of note until the end of the round. A brawl breaks out between the rounds but again it goes nowhere.

Mero chokes away in the corner to start round two before pounding away with rights and lefts. Nothing of note happens until the end of the round when Mero dropkicks Butterbean into the corner. Round three is all Butterbean with Mero getting pounded into the corner and being knocked silly by a huge right hand to end the round. Butterbean doesn’t want it to end that way though so he pours water on Mero to wake him up. Round four begins with another huge right hand to drop Mero so he hits Butterbean low for the DQ.

Rating: F. Considering the fans were chanting boring before the match started and were almost silent other than for the big punches, what else would you expect me to think of this? This kind of stuff has never worked and almost never will because of one simple reason: wrestling fans want to watch wrestling, not boxing. If they wanted to watch boxing, they’d buy a boxing show. It really is that simple.

Mero breaks a stool over Butterbean’s back post match and runs off before Butterbean eats him.

Here are Goldust and his new chick Luna Vachon. The idea here is that Goldust is starving for attention so he’s in, I kid you not, pink leather with a pink wig and a Mardi Gras mask while being lead around on a chain by Luna. He reads Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss in various voices and is dragged off by Luna who calls him scum.

We recap the New Age Outlaws shocking the world by beating the LOD (who beat the Godwinns a day after the last show) for the tag team titles with the help of a chair. The New Age Outlaws are the newly formed team of Jesse James (now called Road Dogg) and Billy Gunn who said they were tired of fighting each other and formed a team.

LOD promises to get their belts back.

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws have their signature entrance in place but it’s not down to perfection yet. The LOD chases them up the aisle when the Outlaws want to stretch a bit beforehand. Road Dogg continues to run his mouth before getting in the ring until some officials force them back towards ringside where the LOD tosses them back inside. Animal beats on Road Dogg to start and clotheslines him down. Off to Hawk for some right hands and a dropkick, sending Road Dogg out to the floor.

Back in and Hawk hits a neckbreaker to send Dogg back to the floor for a meeting with Billy. Hawk clotheslines both guys down from the apron and kicks Dogg in the face for good measure. A rake to the face sends Dogg to the floor for the third time where he is sent face first into the announce table. All LOD so far and it’s back to Animal who catches Dogg’s leapfrog in a powerbomb for two.

They head outside for the fifth time where Billy gets dropped face first onto the steps, putting him in just as much pain as his partner. The champions try to leave but the LOD will have none of that and drag the Outlaws back to the ring. With the referee distracted, Billy hits Hawk low and Road Dogg finds a cooler of soft drinks to crack him over the back. Back in and the Outlaws actually get to take over with Road Dogg getting two off a dropkick.

Billy comes in legally for the first time and distracts the referee, allowing Dogg to get in a cheap shot from the apron. Gunn hooks a neck crank but Hawk fights up, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. A double tag brings in Animal to powerslam Dogg before crushing him with a shoulder block. LOD loads up the Doomsday Device but the referee is with Billy, allowing the Godwinns to come in with their buckets. Hawk takes it away and wears out the Outlaws for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much but it got the LOD away from the title picture for awhile. The Outlaws were the breath of air that the division had been starving for since about 1995 and the impact was quickly felt. Their matches never were all that great but they were eventually so ridiculously over that it didn’t matter.

We recap Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH. There isn’t much to this one: Slaughter is authority, DX is anti-authority. Tonight they’re having a boot camp match (a street fight) which was Slaughter’s signature match back during his career.

HHH has a Sgt. Slaughter survivor kit: a comb (Slaughter is mostly bald), prunes and Depends. He says this isn’t Slaughter’s generation but rather D-Generation, so it’s time to take care of the old guys.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH

Anything goes. Slaughter comes out to the same music that Patriot came out to for his PPV appearances. Slaughter pounds on Helmsley with his riding crop to start and pounds him down before stomping away at the ribs. HHH is thrown out to the floor and dropped throat first across the barricade as the match continues its slow start. Slaughter covers for no count, establishing that the fall has to occur in the ring.

HHH goes into the steps and gets kicked into the aisle with Slaughter still in full control. Back inside and Slaughter drops him with the riding crop to the throat before choking away. A clothesline gets two and Slaughter calls for his Cobra Clutch but HHH rolls out of it. Slaughter is whipped into the corner and out to the floor (a signature spot) to give HHH a breather. HHH whips him into the barricade for a little payback before throwing him into the crowd. Back to ringside and HHH chokes away, only to have to duck the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) which takes out the timekeeper instead. Slaughter is cracked in the back by a belt and we head back inside. A chain to the jaw puts Slaughter down for two as the timekeeper is taken to the back.

HHH drops the chain for some reason, allowing Slaughter to pick it up and give him a chance. Not that it lasts long or anything though as he is almost immediately backdropped to the floor to keep HHH in control. Back in and HHH goes up, only to dive into a boot to the jaw. Slaughter can’t slam HHH but can hit a suplex to put both guys down. The older guy goes up top but gets slammed down for another two count.

HHH grabs a sleeper for a good while until Slaughter escapes and puts on the Cobra Clutch, only to have Chyna come in for the save. Chyna gets yelled at so she blasts the referee and pulls in a chair. Slaughter sees her coming through and throws powder in her eyes, only to be blasted in the face by HHH’s boot. Another boot shot misses though and Slaughter puts on the Clutch. The referee wakes up to check HHH’s arm but Chyna kicks Slaughter low to break up the hold. A Pedigree onto the chair is finally enough to end Slaughter.

Rating: D. This just went WAY too long, running nearly eighteen minutes. They easily could have accomplished the same goals with about half the time and that’s a problem when you have a retired guy pushing 50 out there. Slaughter wasn’t really worth much here though, especially with Vince as the real boss of the company now.

The returning Jeff Jarrett is ready for his in ring return. He promises the cream will rise to the top tonight and become the #1 contender. He’s in a white outfit with big shoulder pads that looks like something you would see in a low budget sci-fi movie.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Undertaker

Undertaker stalks him to start and no sells some right hands. A bunch of right hands in the corner just make Undertaker mad, so he grabs Jarrett and launches him into the corner for a beating. There’s a hard clothesline to put Jarrett down for two and Taker cranks on the arm a bit. Old School connects but Jarrett tries some kicks to the knee for a breather. A chop block takes Undertaker down but he fights back and pounds away. There’s a legdrop for two and a big boot keeps Jarrett in trouble….until the lights go out. Cue Kane to the ring, only to chokeslam Jarrett for the DQ.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and nothing more than a way to run an angle. Amazingly enough, this didn’t launch Jarrett up the card and almost no one remembered him because of the story going on. The match was a glorified squash for Undertaker as Jarrett couldn’t get anything going at all.

Kane slaps Undertaker in the face and Undertaker is tempted to fight but instead just stands still as Kane launched fire out of the corners of the ring. Kane leaves so Jarrett goes after Undertaker’s knee again, earning himself a horrible looking chokeslam. Jarrett is named the winner and you would think he won the WWF Title.

Mark Henry is in the Milton Bradley (yes as in the board game company) cheering section.

We recap Rock vs. Steve Austin. Yeah it’s The Rock now. Rock has proclaimed his greatness and let all of his early success go to his head. On the other hand, Austin is a rebel who will fight anyone and everyone, including the Nation who has come after Austin due to his attack on Faarooq at Bad Blood. Rock then stole the belt (Austin is still champion) and dared Austin to come get it back. This led to an awesome series of promos and segments with Austin encouraging the ROCKY SUCKS chants.

The biggest segment of all though was Austin saying that Rock was going to be walking through the airport when his beeper goes off and it says Austin 3:16, meaning Austin owns him. Rock was in the ring for a promo when his beeper went off and read 3:16. Austin popped up and pounded the tar out of Rock, sending the crowd through the roof. It was clear that these two were the future and that Rock had just needed the right feud to bring him up to the next level.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Rock brings the Nation with him so Austin drives a Stone Cold truck down the aisle. The brawl is on immediately and the bell hasn’t even rung yet. The Nation gets in the ring and beats Austin down four on one. Austin gets up and backdrops D’Lo onto the hood of the car before Stunning him on the top. The bell rings and Austin slugs it out with Rock before taking him down with a Thesz Press and more right hands.

Rock throws him to the floor and the Nation gets in a few extra cheap shots to the back. They fight into the aisle but Kama’s chair shot hits Faarooq in the head, allowing Austin to ram Kama head first through the window. The fans are just nuts for Austin here. Austin hasn’t even been able to take his vest off as Rock pounds away at him and chokes on the ropes. Rock stomps Austin down in the corner before dropping the yet to be named People’s Elbow.

We hit a chinlock to give them a breather but Rocky misses another elbow attempt. Now it’s Austin stomping Rock down in the corner but has to punch Kama instead of Stunning Rock. Austin backs up and blindly Stuns the referee. Rock finds some brass knuckles but gets caught in the Stunner as another referee comes in to count the pin.

Rating: B-. This one depends on your taste but the match is very important from an historical perspective. This match paved the way for what would become the Attitude Era style with no semblance of order or rules and the two guys just beating the tar out of each other. The style had to be implemented to protect Austin’s neck and give him a way to still compete while not risking further injuries. These two would have a lot more matches and we’ll get to see one of the better ones later.

Video on Shamrock destroying everyone in his path so far and making everyone from Rock to Bret to Austin tap out. On Raw, Shawn put a fake leg in a wheelchair and had HHH twist the ankle around to show how much pain he could withstand in a funny bit.

Shamrock says he’s ready.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock

Shawn is WWF and European Champion here just because he wanted to be, though that would change soon on Raw. Shawn throws some right hands to start but gets his head kicked off, sending Michaels out to the floor. Back in and Shawn stalls a lot before being launched hard into the corner. A backdrop puts Shawn down and another whip sends him out to the floor. Chyna tries to distract Ken but he catches Shawn sneaking in with a right hand, sending Shawn’s water flying out of his mouth.

Shawn gets him into the corner and pounds away but Shamrock will have none of it and sends Shawn to the floor again. This match still hasn’t had a chance to get going and it’s getting a bit annoying. Shawn rakes Shamrock’s eyes and pounds away, only to have his sunset flip blocked. The challenger sends him into the corner to crotch Shawn on the top rope. Shawn escapes the belly to belly suplex and sends Shamrock to the floor for some punishment from HHH.

A plancha from the ring takes Shamrock down again but a baseball slide misses, allowing Shamrock to pound away with lefts and rights. HHH takes a shot as well but Chyna sends Ken into the post to put him down. Shawn distracts the referee so DX can pound away even more before sending Shamrock back inside. Michaels goes after Ken’s back with a series of elbows, including one from the middle rope. A dropkick gets two and Shawn chokes away in the corner. The admonishment allows HHH to get in even more cheap shots.

Shamrock rolls through a Shawn cross body for two and Michaels is scared. A rake to the eyes puts Shamrock down again and we hit the chinlock. It’s off to a sleeper instead as Shawn calls some very loud spots. The hold stays on for a good while until Shamrock powers his way back up. Ken pounds away and scores with a powerslam, putting Michaels in big trouble. A standing hurricanrana allows Shamrock to pound away even more before countering a sunset flip into a rollup for two.

Shawn comes back with a quick hot shot to slow Ken down but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for a very close two. HHH and Chyna pull Shamrock to the floor again and beat him down (the referee didn’t think anything of Shamrock being down when Shawn never touched him), setting up Shawn’s top rope elbow for no cover. Sweet Chin Music is countered into into the belly to belly suplex but DX comes in for the disqualification before the ankle lock can go on.

Rating: C+. The match got better once they got down to business but the ending hurt it a lot. Shamrock never even got to put on the ankle lock to give the fans a sweat which should have been the most obvious spot of the match. This wasn’t terrible, but it could have been better if they planned the match better.

Post match DX destroys Shamrock until a man in a black sweatshirt comes out to destroy Shawn. It’s Owen Hart, who hasn’t been seen in a month. He pounds away on Shawn before running away through the crowd. DX poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event is just ok and the only good match on the show only runs about six minutes so there’s really no reason to see the show. This was a weird time for the company as they were trying to figure out where to go next. The end result at Wrestlemania was obvious, but they didn’t exactly know how to get there. This show wasn’t the right way though and it was a horrible show as a result. Not worth seeing at all with the exception of Rock vs. Austin which is always worth a look.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show I’ve wanted to do for a long time but couldn’t for one reason or another. I have a copy of it now though and I’m doing it for one reason: the main event. This is the only Raw that I can ever remember where the main event is a Divas match. By that, I mean it’s the match that is built up and talked about for two hours leading up to it. It’s not the match that happens to go on last and then there’s the real final thing on the show after it. Trish vs. Lita for the Women’s Title tonight is the main event of Monday Night Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open in the Highlight Reel and Jericho’s pretty weak shoulder length hair phase. There’s a controversy over the world title between Edge and Benoit. Jericho is the GM tonight due to his team winning the Survivor Series match and thereby all of them got a night as GM. It’s a big party tonight so everyone gets laid! Hawaiian lais fall from the ceiling in a cute bit. Jericho gets one of his own and asks if some of the kids are old enough to get laid.

Anyway he talks about the title match but says that there’s going to be a Diva limbo contest, with music provided by Fozzy, who is on the stage. We get a clip from last week on Raw where Edge reversed the Crossface but didn’t break it. He had Benoit covered but tapped out at the same time the three went down. There were two referees but it appeared that neither would have been able to see Edge tap. Jericho says he can’t solve this but maybe his guest can.

Here’s Vince, holding the world title. Vince says that it was a tie which he didn’t like. This brings out HHH who was champion going into the match. Vince congratulates him on being a bestselling author which wasn’t what HHH expected. Vince congratulates him again on being a movie star for being in Blade III. It really is fun to hear Vince plugging stuff like he does with the movie and book here because he’s really good at it. I’ve seen the movie and it really isn’t as good as he makes it sounds, but I kind of buy it anyway.

As for the title, HHH isn’t champion. Bischoff gets to make that decision next week, which resulted in the return of the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution. Vince officially vacates the title.

After a break, HHH freaks out while Batista and Flair try to calm him down. HHH yells at Batista who was on the verge of leaving the team and turning into the hottest thing in the company. He’d win the Rumble and the title at Mania. Batista yells back here and HHH breaks stuff.

We cut to Jericho at his party in the back when Christian comes in. He found a superhero costume in his dressing room and isn’t happy with it. Jericho lists off a bunch of famous captains (Hook and Crunch) because if Christian wants one more match (I kid you not he really said that) with Shelton for the IC Title, he has to be Captain Charisma. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in and Jericho makes Batista/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho.

We get a video on Trish vs. Lita which is one of those flashback things they do to show how we arrived here. Lita had been scared by Kane so Trish pretended he was coming. A beating ensued.

Maven vs. Eugene

Eugene and Regal are tag champions and last week they retained over Maven and somebody else. They celebrated so Maven turned heel and beat Eugene down because so many people wanted to see Maven right? Both guys have catchy songs. The fans chant something that I can’t understand. They go to the mat and Eugene dances a little.

He hooks a body scissors and rolls Maven around on the mat as I think we’re in a comedy match. Maven pretends to trip and blames Regal, who gets ejected. O’Connor Roll and a northern lights suplex get two for Eugene. Maven kicks him in the knee and chokes in the corner to a count of five for the stupid DQ. Regal comes out for the save post match and Maven runs. Scratch that as he sneaks in on Regal and hits him with a title belt.

Rating: D-. Maven’s song keeps it from failing, but why in the world is Maven a heel? Actually here’s a better question: why is Maven on TV at all? The guy was just Maven and other than that there was nothing to talk about. This was weak and I don’t get the point of this at all. At least it was short, which is never a good thing to say about a match.

Time for Divas Limbo. I won’t complain about looking at Christy jumping everywhere but this is pretty awful. Fozzy plays the music and this is getting multiple minutes. Christy wins. Fozzy plays Don’t You Wish You Were Me while the girls dance. Muhammad Hassan comes out and runs his mouth to break the song up. I like that song but it’s better than the limbo nonsense. Hassan debuts next week.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

We get a video of Lita’s surprise bridal shower where the heel Divas humiliated her.

Orton makes fun of Coach and talks about being a GM for a week last week.

Here’s Edge who is all fired up. He’s mad about the title being held up and says that’s a travesty against him. He talks about how he beat Benoit last week (and DID NOT tap out!) and got to hold the world title but got screwed again. The person responsible for that is Randy Orton. He calls Orton’s title reign a failure and calls him out.

Here’s the Apex Viper who isn’t orange and has skin on his forearms. Orton says it could have been one on one but Evolution would have gotten involved. Edge only has himself to blame. I miss this Orton. “Unlike you Edge, I’ve been world champion.” AWESOME line there and it’s nice to see Orton having some emotion. They slug it out until security breaks it up.

Video on Blade Trinity.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Christian looks like an idiot in the Captain Charisma costume. Get it, it’s funny. He looks a bit like The Flash. Shelton was AWESOME at this point so he uses all of his athleticism to take over including a head fake into a top rope clothesline. Christian takes over with his basic stuff and yells a lot. The Canadian goes up and jumps into a punch to the ribs. A Russian legsweep and a middle rope sunset flip both get two for Benjamin. Shelton gets caught in a rollup off the middle rope and Tomko slides in a title belt. Tomko adds a big boot but it only gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Exploder and Shelton retains.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match or anything but it was there for the comedy and that’s all. That’s fine, but they need to have something other than that after a Eugene match and a Simon Dean match. This was nothing to see at all here and I really am getting why no one ever talks about this era in the company. This show has mostly sucked so far.

Jericho comes out and makes Edge vs. Orton. He also leads Fozzy in singing the goodbye song to Christian. He’s not fired that I know of but I guess it’s just to humiliate him.

Here’s a Smackdown Recap which saw Team JBL beating down Taker which didn’t end well.

The next Lita clip is Trish interrupting her wedding to Kane in some very nice lingerie for some reason. Not complaining at all.

Snitsky comes up to Lita in the back and reminds her that he got rid of her baby and ended Kane’s career.

We see HHH getting stripped of the title earlier. Flair tries to call Eric but HHH only gets his machine. He says fix this. Flair plugs Raw Magazine and HHH’s book and the movie. Batista comes in and hangs the phone up. He says he’s stopping HHH from making a huge mistake and wants to know what HHH is going to do.

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lillian calls HHH the former champion so he chases her into the crowd. HHH vs. Benoit gets us going and Benoit chops away. Off to Jericho who beats on HHH ever more. The fans want Flair. Back to the other Chris who gets the Crossface but HHH’s feet are in the ropes. For some reason Evolution doesn’t tag so Jericho beats on HHH even more. Batista comes in illegally and the Canadian Chrises send him to the floor with a double dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Batista hooking a camel clutch. We see a clip from the commercial with Flair interfering to let Big Dave hit a spinebuster on Jericho. Off to the Game for some abdominal stretchery. Batista comes in but Jericho kicks his leg out to take over. Back to Benoit vs. HHH and Flair is knocked down to HUGE booing of Benoit.

Ever the nice guy, Benoit hits a baseball slide onto an old man to send him flying. Rolling Germans take care of HHH, followed by a Lionsault, a Swan Dive and then the double Liontamer/Crossface. Batista makes the save and takes over on Jericho but HHH brings in a chair to crack Benoit with for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The double submission probably should have ended it but this wasn’t much of a tag match either way. The commercial break took up almost half of the match and it wasn’t worth watching otherwise anyway. Jericho just wasn’t interesting at this point and this was all about Evolution and the post match stuff.

HHH keeps going off with the chair and hits everyone in sight, including the referee and accidentally Batista.

Trish is looking great and stretching when two production guys stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. Lita comes up and kisses Trish (Kiss of Death) and it’s main event time.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Even in a faceguard with what looks like masking tape over her face, Trish is gorgeous. How is that possible? Lita’s song is great too. 2004 had some awesome theme music. They lockup and go to the floor quickly. Lita takes over with a leg sweep for two. Remember that she’s the hometown girl. They go to the floor again and Lita tries a suicide dive and Lita lands ON HER HEAD, jacking her neck back in a landing that made my jaw drop and be stunned she isn’t dead. I mean she landed on her face and her feet hit her in the back of the head. The referee immediately checks on her and the crowd goes quiet.

The match keeps going as I guess she’s alive somehow. Trish takes the noseguard off and pops Lita in the face with it which isn’t a DQ somehow. Lita fights out of a choke and throws on a sleeper but gets countered into a seated full nelson. Trish goes up but gets caught in a superplex to put both girls down. Back up and the Chick Kick gets two. Trish pounds away in the corner and gets powerbombed to set up the moonsault but Trish breaks it up. Rollup gets two and Trish grabs a DDT for two. Stratusfaction is broken up and there’s a reverse Twist of Fate. The moonsault gives Lita her second title.

Rating: B. Considering that neck shot, WOW Lita was impressive here. At the end of the day, this was a solid match and they made it feel like a big moment. This was Lita’s second title, but she hadn’t won it in over four years so it’s not like this was something that happened every day. Trish would win it back in less than a month and hold it until Wrestlemania. As in the Wrestlemania the year after she won it, giving her a reign of about 15 months.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked other than the main event. I can really see why no one talked about 2004 and the years around it: this stuff SUCKED. I mean, the first three match include the names of Maven, Simon Dean and TWO superhero characters. This was a really weak show and they couldn’t save it with a solid main event, which isn’t something you see that often. Bad show.

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It’ll likely be called San Francisco which makes better business sense.

ECW on TNN
Date: April 14, 2000
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

The main event tonight is an elimination match between Super Crazy, Tajiri and Little Guido for the TV Title, but there’s a much bigger story at the moment. Mike Awesome, the ECW World Champion, has jumped to WCW while still champion. This led to a lawsuit where ECW made a nice amount of money, but the more important story is we need a new ECW World Champion. We’ll cover that tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with the announcers in the ring where Joey runs down TNN. That was always a questionable move as TNN may have been treating ECW badly, but it was still airing them. Joel’s limerick of the night isn’t completely explicit but it would send Vince into a conniption today.

The opening sequence starts but Heyman cuts us off to announce that Tazz showed up in Indianapolis to win the title back despite working for the WWF at the time. Video is coming later.

We cut back to the arena with Rhyno Goring and piledriving Kid Kash for a pin. Was that a match?

T-shirt ads.

Hardcore Heaven ad.

Jazz wants to beat up Dawn Marie but finds Mikey Whipwreck and Sinister Minister instead. She says something long and censored and apparently wants the Minister to find Marie for her. Minister’s price: beer and sex. Jazz tells him to go to church. Mikey laughs and lights some paper on fire.

The Tazz video is still coming.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

The challengers beat the Players in singles matches recently to set this up. Credible sends Chetti into the corner to start but That’s Incredible is countered into a rollup for two. Off to Storm vs. Nova for some wristlocks before Nova takes over with a Japanese armdrag. They trade legsweeps for one counts each and it’s a standoff. Nova tosses Storm into the air for a low blow before bringing in Chetti for a double hiptoss and elbow drop for two.

The Players are sent to the floor but Nova takes them out with a nice dive as Dawn Marie looks terrified. Gorgeous but terrified. Back in and Nova loads up a reverse DDT on Credible but Storm makes the save with a leg lariat. The Players take over on Nova but he comes back with chops to Storm in the corner. Lance rolls through an Irish whip into the Canadian Mapleleaf which isn’t a big move yet. Back to Credible for a chinlock for a bit before a swinging DDT gets no cover.

That’s enough of the wrestling and tag team formula though so here’s a table. The table is set up in the corner but Nova grabs a quick Novacane (downward spiral) to put Storm down. The hot tag brings in Chetti with a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for two on Justin as everything breaks down. Justin gets pulled to the floor but Storm superkicks Chetti down for a close two.

Nova comes back in and walks up the table for a tornado DDT on Storm but Lance gets up at two. Justin BLASTS Nova in the head with the Singapore cane to give Storm a two count but Credible gets thrown through the table. Dawn Marie comes in but here’s Jazz to take her out. Storm hits a good piledriver on Jazz and Justin blasts Chetti in the head with a belt for the pin to retain.

Time for the Tazz footage. Mike Awesome issued an open challenge at a house show last night after jumping to WCW and appearing on Nitro Monday. This was a total surprise and made no sense from WWF’s perspective but they did it anyway.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Taz

Taz sends him to the floor to start and the brawl is on with Taz getting the better of it. They head back inside with Awesome getting stomped down in the corner. The referee gets bumped and here’s Dreamer to DDT Awesome down. The Tazmission gives us a new champion in about 90 seconds. Why they didn’t just put the title on Dreamer still eludes me.

House show ads.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485^th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Post match Cyrus comes out to celebrate and says that Tajiri will give the Network the title at Cyberslam. Also, Cyrus is God because he’s Network. Cue Sandman’s 3 minute entrance and after hotline and home video ads, we see Sandman blasting Rhyno with the cane. The fifth show keeps Rhyno down and Sandman keeps swinging until Cyrus tries to interfere.

Corino makes the save and Tajiri blinds Sandman with the mist. Rhyno picks up the referee and gores him through Sandman through the table. Joey asks if there’s anyone else to stand up to the Network so here’s RVD for a return. Cyrus threatens to fire Van Dam if he gets in the ring but Rhyno cuts him off, demanding that Rob get in. Rob cleans house by himself and stands off with Rhyno to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible and the last half of the show was dedicated to the biggest story, which is a good thing at the moment. The Network is a well done story at the moment and it makes sense to keep the focus on it. RVD returning is a good thing as well as it gives the fans someone they can believe in, which has been sorely lacking in ECW lately. Nice episode but the same problems still plague them.

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Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2013
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on TLC and a lot more of the card has been set in stone. The main stories coming out of Raw are the two handicap matches for TLC with Punk taking on the Shield and Bryan facing the Wyatts. Tonight it’s Punk against a member of Shield to be announced tonight. Other than that we’re likely to get talking from Orton and/or Cena. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He talks about becoming the champion of champions at TLC (still sounds better than Unified Champion) and shows us a clip from the end of Raw where Cena put him through a table. Even though Orton has about five injuries as a result, he’ll still prove his greatness at TLC. He may not be the most likeable of characters but he’s never liked any of us or John Cena. Orton does however revere Stephanie and HHH because they know what’s best for business. Maybe he’s taken some things they’ve done for him for granted so Orton would like to apologize.

Before he can get all the way through though, here’s Daniel Bryan to point his fingers in the air a lot. Bryan says Orton needs to apologize for being a champion. In all of their title matches, Orton never once legitimately beat him. Just because Bryan has been targeted by the Wyatts, he hasn’t forgotten about Orton or what Orton did to him. Daniel says that after TLC, he’s going to be first in line for a title shot at the new champion. Tonight though he’s looking at the face of the WWE and feels like putting a knee on that face. Orton says no but Bryan appeals to the crowd for a YES chant. Randy just stands there.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Non-title and Sandow is on commentary. Langston’s music seems to have been remixed. The champion throws Fandango around with ease and drives his shoulder into Fandango’s ribs. Fandango is sent to the floor but Langston takes too much time going after him and gets clotheslined down. Back in and Fandango puts on a front facelock but shoves Fandango off like he’s a cruiserweight. Some clotheslines set up the Warrior splash but Fandango comes back with a kick to the head and a knee to the jaw for two. Langston shrugs it off and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:35.

Post match Sandow gets in the ring to point at Langston’s belt. Dang they’re warming up for the Wrestlemania Point early this year.

We get the opening of Smackdown from WWE 2K14 via Youtube. Riveting stuff of course.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. This is fallout from Main Event where Goldust had Ryback beaten but Curtis came in for the DQ. Cody starts with Ryback as JBL tries some portmanteaus of Ryback and Axel’s names. Goldust quickly comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press for two. Ryback hits a middle rope splash and Axel drops a middle rope elbow for two as the announcers talk about Superstar of the Year. The former Heyman Guys take turns on Goldust until it’s off to Axel for a chinlock.

Back up and Axel misses a dropkick and walks into a powerslam to give Goldie a breather. The not hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cody’s moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Goldust knocks Ryback to the floor and Cody lays him out with a Disaster Kick off the announcers’ table. Rhodes heads back inside and is immediately rolled up by Axel for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere, but are we really jobbing one of the hottest acts in the company to Axel and Ryback? I was hoping this whole “champions lose to set up a title match” bit was taking a hiatus but apparently WWE was just luring me into a false sense of security.

Orton vs. Bryan is official for later.

Bad News Barrett tells us that we’re all sheep who will follow each other to the slaughter.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Del Rio jumps Kingston on the floor before the bell and sends him into the barricade. Kofi gets put in the armbreaker for some screaming as referees try to pull Del Rio off. No match, but haven’t we seen Del Rio destroy Kofi after a loss before?

We recap Punk’s issues with Shield leading up to the handicap match at TLC.

Shield promises to hurt Punk tonight but they’re going to leave him healthy enough to make it to TLC. It’s going to be Ambrose facing Punk tonight.

Dean Ambrose vs. CM Punk

Non-title because the US Title is nothing but a trophy again. Rollins and Reigns stay in the crowd to keep it one on one. Punk has bad ribs coming into this. Cole: “Punk didn’t tape his ribs. Why put a target on his back?” Punk grabs a headlock to start but misses the high kick as Ambrose hangs onto the rope. Dean charges into a big boot of all things from Punk, setting up four straight legdrops for two for Punk.

Dean comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over and Cole completely ignores it to read more nominees. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Punk fights out and forearms Ambrose in the head. The GTS is countered with another shot to the ribs but Ambrose bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dean stomping on the bad ribs like the smart heel that he is. Dean keeps taunting Punk as he peppers him with right hands before hooking a crossface chicken wing. Punk is down so Ambrose goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow drop. The springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and the running knee in the corner gets the same. Ambrose counters the swinging neckbreaker into a backslide which sets up a Fujiwara Armbar to stay on the arm.

Dean lets it go for some reason but counters another GTS attempt into a sleeper. Punk rolls through that into the Anaconda Vice but Dean quickly makes a rope. The Macho Elbow is broken up with a superplex for two and Dean goes back to the armbar. Punk gets into the ropes as well and finally scores with the high kick for two. The GTS, Bulldog Driver and another GTS are all countered and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, giving Ambrose a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for two more. Not that it matters as another high kick sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B-. Good match, annoying booking. There are three Shield members to pick from. One is a champion, one is the golden boy and the other is Seth Rollins. Why in the would wasn’t this Rollins doing a job for Punk? The match would have been entertaining and you keep the title looking strong at the same time. It’s really not that complicated of an idea but WWE continues to mess it up. The match was what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose for 13 minutes, but why did Ambrose go after the arm so much when Punk had bad ribs coming in?

Renee Young (looking stunning in a red dress) is with Rey Mysterio in the back. She asks Rey which world title means more. Before Rey can answer, the Real Americans (now in matching jackets with Cesaro’s saying Toni and Swagger’s saying Big Hoss) come up and asks to see Rey’s papers.

Colter wants to know what’s up with Mysterio’s mask, if that’s even his real name. Rey says he was born and raised in San Diego, California but is Mexican in his heart. Colter thinks Rey’s title reigns should be stricken from the record books but Rey thinks the Real Americans should be stricken from the building. Zeb throws out a challenge for a tag match with Rey getting a partner. Rey says si.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ is on commentary and talks about how she was the most interesting Diva in the match just by skipping around in a circle. Tamina gets caught by a quick clothesline for two but she easily shoves Natalya to the floor. Nattie gets rammed ribs first into the apron a few times before Tamina takes it back inside to crank on Natalya’s arms.

Cole spends the match trying to make AJ into a heel by asking why she thinks she’s above the title which just isn’t working. Natalya gets two off a low dropkick but Tamina kicks out of the Sharpshooter. A Samoan drop puts Natalya down but she misses the Superfly Splash, giving Natalya the pin at 2:59.

Post match Natalya yells at AJ to no effect.

The Funkadactyls sell stuff and annoy me by existing.

Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/???

The mystery partner is Big Show, who apparently is just going to forget about the whole Authority ruining his life thing. Big Show chops Swagger in the corner and headbutts him down to start. Off to Rey for a top rope hurricanrana but Swager counters the sitout bulldog into a wheelbarrow slam in a nice move. Cesaro gets in a neck snap across the top rope as Cole brings up Cesaro making Titus sick last week.

Mysterio fights out of the corner but Jack sends him out to the floor. Back in and the Real Americans take turns pounding on Rey until the sitout bulldog takes Swagger down. Double tags bring in Cesaro and Big Show so the giant can clean house. A spear gets two on Cesaro as Swagger makes the save, only to have Rey hit a quick 619 to Jack. Big Show chokeslams Cesaro, setting up a Rey splash from Big Show’s shoulders for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with a very short version of the tag team formula. Big Show being in the midcard again is a better fit for him, but I really hope this doesn’t lead to a big man/little man tag team. The Real Americans continue to go from hot to cold like no one else on the roster.

We get a video package of various champions over the years, talking about what being champion meant to them. It’s mainly a collection of promos from their careers with a few guys sitting down to talk about what the win means. Cool stuff.

HHH’s sitdown interview talks about how great the unification match will be and guarantees that the King of Kings will crown the Champion of Champions.

Bad News Barrett has some good news for us. There will be a Champion of Champions after TLC, but that man will have a target on his chest. He’ll be the hunted, making him the envy of the locker room, meaning he’s doomed.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Non-title of course. They fight into the corner to start with neither being able to get an advantage. Orton takes over with some right hands but Bryan fights out of the corner with punches of his own. Daniel goes after the arm as the announcers discuss Bryan joining the Wyatts. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for two and a clothesline puts Bryan down. Bryan scores with a dropkick to send Orton to the floor but Orton moves before the FLYING GOAT can launch.

We take a break and come back with Orton getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Bryan fights out and moonsaults over Randy to set up the running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner set up some kicks to Orton’s chest and a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Bryan. Daniel sends him to the floor and now the FLYING GOAT connects.

Back in and the missile dropkick drops Randy again and there are the YES kicks. The big one misses as is the new custom and Orton gets two off a powerslam. Orton connects with the Elevated DDT but Bryan counters the RKO into a backslide for two. Now the big kick lays out Orton and the Swan Dive…..doesn’t launch because we’ve got Wyatts. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:44 shown of 12:14.

Rating: C+. Bryan continues his roll but it’s clear his time on top is over. The ending keeps the Bryan vs. Wyatts feud going but doesn’t do much for Daniel himself. It does however give Bryan some more momentum going into the PPV which is a good idea, but unfortunately it’s at Bryan’s expense.

Post match Bray pops up on screen and says tick tock over and over. He doesn’t mean to keep haunting Bryan, but how many times does Bryan have to cross a burning bridge to know he doesn’t have to fight this battle alone? Bryan knows what they are, but at TLC he’ll learn what he himself is. Bray laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing a decent job of building up to TLC but not everything was clicking tonight. Bad News Barrett is going to bomb and it’s going to bomb badly. There’s just nothing there at the moment and the insults are as easy as you can think of. On the other hand, the handicap matches are going to be solid with Bryan vs. Wyatts getting more interesting every show. The world title match is looking more and more like a screwy finish every week, but at least we have a new buzz phrase with Champion of Champions.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Pin after a missed Superfly Splash

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Swagger

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

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Turning Point 2004
Date: December 5, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the second ever three hour PPV from TNA so don’t expect much in the way of groundbreaking stuff. That being said, the main event is one of the most famous as well as scariest moments ever in TNA. Also to the best of my knowledge, this is Randy Savage’s last wrestling match ever. Let’s get to it.

Oh and I forgot: this is the DUMB angle where TNA sent guys to a WWE show with a bunch of gifts and filmed the WWE wrestlers talking and chatting with TNA guys. For some reason, this is SCANDALOUS and we see the tape tonight.

The opening video is about the six man main event with Hardy/Styles/Savage saying they love the business and the Kings of Wrestling (Hall/Nash/Jarrett) in Elvis suits saying it’s about them. This goes on way too long and has way too many Elvis jokes.

Vince and HHH impersonators say they’ll never allow the tape to air. Abyss comes up with balloons and Fake HHH runs from him. This could be a really long night.

Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.

Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.

James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.

Shane Douglas talks to the Director of Authority (GM/boss) Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says this is a huge night and that the Kings of Wrestling will get what’s coming to them. The fans are talking on the internet about Cookie Gate. Yeah it’s about the tape again.

We recap the X-Division 6 man. This involves Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka for some reason. Apparently Kash has been saying that Jimmy’s dive off the cage meant nothing while Sonjay’s team says don’t diss the Superfly. I’ve heard far worse reasons to have a feud.

Matt Bentley/Kazarian/Kid Kash vs. Sonny Siaki/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

The beard doesn’t work on Kaz at all. Sonjay and Kash start us off with some mat wrestling. Hector comes in and it’s Bentley punching him. Garza was a guy that was supposed to get a big push in TNA, even pinning Scott Hall if I remember. Siaki vs. Kaz now as things speed up. Siaki and Sonjay team up for an assisted rana to Kaz. Traci distracts Sonjay so Kaz can hit a one armed DDT to give us our face in peril.

The heels work over Sonjay, mainly focusing on the arm. They do the whole lack of tag thing to bring Bentley in to crank on the arm even more. There’s a Stunner to the arm and the heels work on Dutt’s arm even more. They tag in and out and all take some shots at it. Kash sets for a hammerlock slam but rams the arm into the buckle instead. Dutt tries to fire back with right hands but Bentley takes him down by the arm.

Dutt is pulled back to the corner and Kaz comes in again and more arm work follows. Do any of them know a match ending arm submission? Dutt is sent to the ropes and manages to hit a miracle springboard rana and it’s hot tag to Garza. Garza hits a high moonsault on Kaz and everything breaks down. Garza backdrops Dutt 360 degrees over the top to the floor. Traci’s interference backfires and Garza gets the pin on Bentley with a corkscrew moonsault.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun tag match here with more of a classic story than a spotfest. That’s very nice for a change of pace and it worked well here. Dutt did well selling the arm and Garza looked like a big deal. Then he got busted for steroids (which to be fair were legal in Mexico) and hasn’t really appeared in America since.

Savage talks to Scott Hudson (seriously?) and says nothing of note.

Coach D’Amore says Petey will keep the title.

Video on the Serengeti Survival Match, which means hardcore I think. Monty Brown beat Abyss in a Monster’s Ball Match and then got a world title shot on Impact. Abyss jumped him before the match and the injuries cost him the title. There’s a focus on thumbtacks in this.

Monty Brown vs. Abyss

Abyss is the monster heel here and Brown has bad ribs. Brown wants to start it on the ramp and here we go. You can win by pin, submission or slamming the other person into tacks. Abyss rams him into the apron to work on the back. He pulls off the tape early on and Brown is in trouble. Abyss gets a table set up quickly and the fans want fire. Greedy freaks.

The table is set up in the corner and Abyss grabs a bag. The fans still want fire. Brown comes back with a clothesline and right hands. We’re in trouble now as Brown has used up about 50% of his offense in the first three minutes. Big boot gets two for Abyss. West calls Abyss cunning and very smart. And people wonder why he’s not announcing anymore. Abyss brings in a chair and hits him in the injured ribs with it. Why don’t heels ever have injured ribs? When you turn face do you sacrifice the strength in your ribs?

The chair is placed on Brown’s ribs and Abyss hits an Earthquake onto the chair for two. The fans chant to use the table. All Abyss at this point as he pounds on the ribs. The fans continue to get on my nerves by chanting various annoying things. Abyss sets for another Earthquake but Brown moves the chair to crotch Abyss. A chair to the head puts Abyss down and Brown hits a British Bulldog powerslam onto the chair.

The Pounce is countered into the Black Hole Slam for a delayed two. That’s not a move you often see kicked out of. Abyss wedges a chair between the turnbuckles and of course is rammed into it. The Pounce hits but it knocks Abyss to the floor. The delay results in it only getting a two count. Brown tries another Pounce but Abyss ducks, sending Brown head first into the table for two. Both guys get bags of tacks and OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOODNESS BROWN RIPS ABYSS’ SHIRT OFF!!! THEY’RE JIGGLING!!! Brown hits an Alabama Slam into the tacks and I need to go see a doctor.

Rating: C+. This was a fine lesson in hardcore wrestling. Here’s the idea: if the match is about the guys and the weapons are props, the match is usually better. When the match is about the weapons and the guys are props, the match is usually worse. This was about Abyss vs. Brown and the tacks and other stuff were there too, making for a much more entertaining match.

HHH and Vince break any tape they find, including Best of D-Ray 3000.

Mike and Don run down the rest of the card.

Pat Kenney/Johnny B. Badd vs. Glen Gilbertti/Johnny Swinger

Gilbertti and Swinger are known as the New York Connection. Great: Jacqueline is the referee. Kenney is kind of famous as Simon Diamond from ECW. He and Swinger were a tag team in ECW so there’s history there. There’s no story here that I can find so we’re in filler territory. Kenney and Swinger start as the fans chant Simon Diamond. Simon (screw it) fights off both of the NYC until Gilbertti is sent outside.

Off to Badd who looks really weird with short hair. The NYC double teams Simon to take over. Badd seems content to chill on the apron. It’s not a heel move or anything. He just doesn’t seem to care. Jackie breaks up some double teaming and Swinger gets two off a clothesline. They work on Simon’s back which was injured in the match somewhere. Simon hits a sitout spinebuster on Swinger which allows the tag to Badd. Both heels get knee lfits TKO to Glenn is broken up by Swinger. Gilbertti shoves Jackie and Stuns Badd but Jackie gets involved (of course) and slams Gilbertti. TKO by Badd ends this.

Rating: D. Imagine that: Jackie messes up a match. To be fair though the match was boring, mainly because there was no real story to this. The NYC were one of the leftovers from the older run of the company so they were brought along for about five minutes. This was nothing of note though and was pretty bad. To be fair though, it was just there to bridge us to the second half of the show.

The Kings of Wrestling (who have no relation to Hero and Castagnoli if you’re curious) put Savage (we couldn’t see him) into a car and send it off, presumably making it a handicap match later.

Recap of Raven vs. DDP. Raven wants to be world champion so DDP came in and hit him with Diamond Cutters to come out of retirement. Erik Watts is in this somehow too but his black hole of caring keeps me from looking up why.

Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Watts sits in on commentary. That’s fine as long as he doesn’t wrestle. Page’s music is a complete ripoff of his WCW song. Page claims Raven has been living somewhere rent free so tonight Page is collecting. Ok then. Discus lariat puts Raven down. Page baseball slides Raven to the floor and they head into the crowd. This is Raven’s Rules apparently.

Page hits him with a trashcan and we head back to ringside. We had a ref bump in there somewhere so a replacement came out. Page tries the Cutter but Raven grabs the rope. He puts on some weird helmet he brought with him and rams it into Page almost like Juggernaut. Raven has a chair brought in and then facewashes DDP in the corner. Drop toehold onto the chair gets two.

Page gets up like it’s nothing and hammers away on Raven. Another discus clothesline sets up a regular clothesline but the Cutter is countered by a low blow. Rollup gets two. Another rollup gets two and we’ve got blood. A horrible bulldog gets two for Raven. Page belly to bellies him for two. Raven superkicks him down for two. There’s no flow to this at all as it’s more of a spotfest than the X match earlier.

Diamond Cutter only gets two and we’ve got druids. DDT kills Page but it only gets two. Raven calls in the druids but Watts comes in to stop them. Both get chokeslams and the druid is revealed to be wearing khaki shorts. Watts turns on Page and clotheslines him down. Cutter to Watts, Cutter to Raven, pin.

Rating: D. Bad match for the most part because these two don’t bother selling anything. And why should they? Raven didn’t have to in ECW because he hardly ever lost and Page didn’t have to because he was over 40 in WCW. The match was really boring as a result and I don’t think anyone cares. Watts’ turn didn’t mean anything either.

Vince and HHH complain about the lack of food. Traci comes in with milk and cookies and Vince yells at her, saying bring him Dusty.

We recap the X Title match. Sabin won an Ultimate X match and has countered the Destroyer a few times to get in Petey’s head.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

They trade counters to start and the fans are split. Cradle Shock is countered and Petey is freaked out. They mess up a leapfrog and Petey hits his leg on Chris’ head. Standoff as Petey is getting frustrated. Springboard dropkick sends Petey to the outside again and he almost jumps into the Cradle Shock again. They head to the floor and Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana from the ring to the floor.

Sabin one ups that and release powerbombs Williams into the barricade. Then he heads into the crowd and dives over about three rows of fans to clothesline Petey. Sweet sequence! Petey gets in a shot though and D’Amore chokes Sabin while Petey has the referee. Back inside and Petey does the O Canada bit as he stands on Sabin’s crotch.

Standing tornado DDT gets two as well. Tenay rants about D’Amore as he’s known to do. Petey hits a few suplexes for two. He’s trying to prove that he’s not a one move wonder. The fans are still split. I think the guys are a bit tired as the match has slowed down a good bit. Petey goes up so Sabin runs the corner like Angle to suplex Williams down. So much for things slowing down I guess.

They slug it out and neither guy can do much. Other than the spinning enziguri by Sabin followed by the running powerbomb for two. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls up to avoid a suicide dive, then hits a BIG plancha to take Williams out. This is REALLY good. Petey flips into a Russian legsweep for two. Destroyer is countered into the Cradle Shock which is countered by Petey into a Sharpshooter!

Sabin gets the rope and they go to the corner. Chris sets for what looks like a superplex but Petey tries a sunset bomb to counter. Sabin counters that and flips Petey backwards so that Petey’s face slams into the mat. That gets rolled through after the contact into a piledriver by Sabin for a VERY close two. Sabin tries the Cradle Shock but D’Amore gets on the apron. That lets Williams get brass knuckles to hit Sabin with for the pin to retain. That ending BLOWS after the match they were having!

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME as they were countering everything and kept the pace going for at least eighty percent of the match. The ending is horrible though as they built up the match forever and then just stop it dead with a cheap ending. This got the crowd going strong for the two main events though and that’s why these guys are out there. Excellent match and if you give it a better ending it’s a classic.

A midget (Demo from Micro Championship Wrestling) beats up Vince for no apparent reason.

Recap of the Kings of Wrestling vs. Hardy/Styles/Savage. The Kings say they’re taking over and that’s about it. The other three guys say they’re fighting for TNA.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

Vince is loaded into an ambulance as HHH doesn’t know what to do without him.

Video on Final Resolution. I remember this video actually.

Here’s the tape that has been talked about all night. Shane Douglash, Traci (with cookies) and Abyss (with balloons) go to see…a bunch of blurry objects. Roadie and Ron Killings are there too. They steal some catering and the only body I recognize is I think Eddie Guerrero. Seriously you can’t see ANYTHING and they don’t say any names. These could be TNA dudes for all we know. That was it? Seriously? WE SPENT TWO AND A HALF HOURS BUILDING TO THAT??? Ok to be fair this was when TNA was nothing so it’s a bigger deal I guess. Rey was there too apparently but you couldn’t see him at all.

We recap XXX vs. AMW. This was the big tag feud in TNA as they’ve fought dozens of times but there hasn’t been a distinct winner to the whole thing. They’ve had cage matches before but they were in the four sided cage. AMW hit an awesome Death Sentence from the top of the cage to win that one. Now they’re having another cage match and the losing team has to split up forever.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here, but considering this is their second three hour PPV ever, this was incredible. Things slowed down a bit after this when it became about DDP and Nash and Jarrett, but they would pick it right back up with Lockdown in a few months. Very good show although it’s kind of hard to find. Check out the main event for sure though.

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Tribute to the Troops 2009
Date: December 4, 2009
Location: Holt Memorial Stadium, Balad Air Base, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So back in 2003, WWE started doing an annual Christmas show for the troops stationed in Iraq (why did they never go to Afghanistan?). This was an awesome idea and they’ve run the same idea every year until 2010 when they started having the shows in America so people didn’t have to fly around the world for a few days. I’ve done a few of these so I figured I’d do the rest of them and since I can’t find a full copy of the first one right now, here’s the one from 2009. Let’s get to it.

Oh and before I forget: not all of the card is televised. There were eight matches on the card but only three aired on the broadcast. That would be changed I think next year. Lawler and Cole did commentary on tape from Connecticut later on.

One other note: the matches here are going to be lower quality than usual and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m going to be very lenient with my ratings on this show because the wrestling isn’t for the TV audience here.

The opening video talks about the USO’s history of taking care of the troops in combat.

Rey Mysterio/Mark Henry vs. CM Punk/Carlito

The arena is unlike anything you’ll ever see. It’s outside and everyone is in camouflage. Punk and Rey start things off in a feeling out process. They go to a test of strength with Punk easily putting Rey on the mat. Rey fights up but can’t hit the 619. Punk does the Hogan muscle pose so Rey tags in Henry. Mark runs him over a few times and drops him out of a gorilla press position. We get the Andre/Snuka splash but Carlito makes the save. Rey hits a double 619, followed by a World’s Strongest Slam on Carlito and a springboard splash to Punk for the stereo pins. Carlito was never in and this was a squash.

We get photos of the WWE guys and Divas visiting troops set to a Bob Dylan song.

Here’s Eve Torres to introduce R-Santa who introduces the Bellas, Layla, Alicia and Kelly in sexy Santa outfits to give gifts to the crowd.

Barack Obama thanks the troops for doing this.

More troop visits, including Morrison and Eve singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. This runs for a LONG time but it’s just wrestlers shaking hands with soldiers.

General David Petraeus thanks us some more and we hear about all the cool stuff the troops do in Iraq.

The Miz vs. John Morrison

Miz is US Champion and Morrison is IC Champion, although he’s lost the title to Drew McIntyre since the show was taped. Morrison hits a fast dropkick to take over and get two as Cole talks about some commander who missed the show so he didn’t miss his anniversary for the seventh straight year. Smart man. Miz sidesteps Morrison to send him to the floor and the fans are all over Mikey. Back in and Miz goes up and gets crotched, giving Morrison a superplex for two. Starship Pain misses and Miz rolls him up for the pin with his feet on the ropes. Another short match but that’s fine.

We get a speech from Cena from after the match that’s up next. He talks about how he’s been here six years now and everyone knows how he feels about the troops. We get a highlight package set to Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending even though he already lost the title to Sheamus at TLC. Jericho would be a tag champion here (no belt for some reason) but he also lost at TLC. Bad show for champions that. We get some abbreviated big match intros and it’s time to go. Jericho immediately takes him into the corner and pounds away but Cena comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex for no cover.

Jericho gets in a kick to the face to knock Cena to the floor for the springboard dropkick. We take a break (with more videos of the soldiers) and come back with Jericho putting on the Walls. Cena finally rolls through into the STF but Jericho grabs the rope. While the hold is on we cut to a shot of the crowd and you see a fighter jet flying through the shot. That’s awesome.

Cole thanks the staff here and apparently one of the big shots is named Ned Flanders. I played that back to see if it was right and that’s the exact name he says. Jericho tries an AA off the middle rope but Jericho headbutts him down. Jericho tries a middle rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine even though we barely saw most of the match. Jericho never beating Cena is almost a running joke at this point but I don’t think it was ever brought up. This was a very quick match which apparently ran less than eight minutes in full. To be fair though it’s like 100 degrees so the lack of endurance is acceptable.

A three minute highlight package of the while trip ends the show.

Overall Rating: N/A. I know that’s kind of cheap but we had one rateable match and a ton of the show was just clips of the guys with the troops. Still though, what in the world do you want me to say? This is about a special Christmas show and giving the troops who get shot at every day something fun. The full show versions of this we would get starting next year would be much easier to grade. It’s really hard to not smile when you watch one of these though.

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This looks pretty good actually.From lordsofpain.net