More on my comment last night of TNA has no soul.If you’ve been watching Impact lately, it’s pretty clear that there’s not a lot of life in TNA.  A big part of that is there’s very little that’s supposed to be fun.  Other than Bad Influence, no one seems like they’re having fun out there.  You have Aces and 8’s vs. Anderson in a feud about trying to injure someone’s neck, you have a world title tournament which is always serious, Angle’s feud involves him nearly being paralyzed twice.  Nothing comes off as lighthearted or fun.

This is where the Usos come in.  Now before you ask, no I’m not suggesting they jump because that’s not the point.  However, let’s look at the Usos for a bit.  They have good matches, the fans are into them, and they’re definitely not a serious act.  They do their Siva Tao thing to fire up the crowd, fly around the ring, then dance when they win.  It’s a fun act that always fires the crowd up and just lets them have fun enjoying wrestling for a change.  TNA needs something like that.  Just let some guys go out there and have fun without some serious story behind them.  It would be a very nice breath of air on Impact.

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 14, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final show on the road before they head back to Orlando which seems to be the best idea they could have at the moment. We’re also a week away from the next Clash of the Champions style show called Turning Point which will likely be a lot of tournament matches and a few other things thrown in on the side. Tonight’s main event is Angle vs. Aries in a submission match which isn’t the most interesting match in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie announcing the tournament and Hardy vs. Sabin in the first match last week.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open the show with Brooke shaking her hips and Ray laughing at Tenay for falling for the ruse last week. Ray asks if the fans know who he is and says this club is about quality. He doesn’t need to be world champion to be the most talked about guy in TNA because everyone knows he’s the be all and end all. Ray accepts the challenge for a match with Anderson at Turning Point but promises to piledrive him through the stage next week.

This brings out Anderson who says that everyone here in Cincinnati is sick and tired of the Aces and 8’s. Therefore, how about if he beats Ray next week, Aces and 8’s are done in TNA, never to ride again? Ray doesn’t see the appeal so he turns it down, so Anderson sweetens the pot: if he loses, he’s gone for good. That’s cool with him too, because his wife is pregnant with twins.

Ray is all cool with that but thinks Anderson is crazy for agreeing to this match. Anderson says that’s right and goes after Ray, only to be beaten down by Knux and Bischoff. Ray gets a chair but Anderson kicks him away and cleans house. Anderson says he’s feeling frisky and wants one of the bikers right now. It looks like it’ll be Knux after the break.

Mr. Anderson vs. Knux

Anderson, in street clothes, pounds away in the corner to start and scores with some right hands. Knux comes back with a cross body for two and they head outside. Anderson is whipped into the steps and apron before Knux suplexes him back inside. Anderson can’t slam him down and gets splashed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Knux but after more slow pounding, Anderson grabs the Mic Check out of nowhere for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Just a basic warmup match before next week and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match showed how basic Knux is though and that’s the problem with Aces and 8’s. Other than Bully, there hasn’t been anyone not named Anderson worth anything at all. The team has needed to go away for months now and hopefully that happens next week.

We get an Impact365 video from Joseph Park, challenging Daniels to a singles match tonight.

Daniels accepts the challenge in another video where he talks about the medical benefits of appletinis with Kazarian. Daniels runs into Roode walking down the hall and t-shirts are schilled.

Video on Aries vs. Angle for later tonight, focusing on Aries’ submission skills.

Christopher Daniels vs. Joseph Park

Park scores with a quick hiptoss and a right hand to put Daniels down. He doesn’t fall for a Daniels’ handshake and pulls him into a clothesline before Christopher scores with some right hands and a half nelson rollup for two. Park misses an Earthquake splash and Daniels hooks a chinlock. Joseph fights up with a Samoan drop and a side slam for two more. Daniels rolls away before Park can try a middle rope splash but a running splash in the corner connects instead. The referee yells so Daniels kicks Park low for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D. Well, this happened. There really isn’t much else to say about it either and that’s not a good sign. It’s also very indicative of a major TNA problem: so much of their stuff feels like filler, but we never get to the shows that we’re supposed to be filling time until. In theory it’s Turning Point or Genesis, but Turning Point is mainly tournament matches which is just filler until we get to the winner of the tournament vs. AJ. That’s not good when it feels like everything is just filler until BFG time. In case you couldn’t tell, there wasn’t much to this match.

Ray promises to beat Anderson next week.

Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is now 7-0 after winning on some house shows this weekend. The jobbers work on the arm to start until Carter takes Barnes’ head off with a clothesline out of the corner. A snap suplex sets up a belly to back suplex on Dewey before the tag is off to Fernum for some top rope dropkicks. Norv gets two off a tornado DDT but Carter hits 1 Percenters on both guys for the double pin at 3:29.

Rating: D+. Carter is still working for me as a character but they need to do more for him soon before he gets boring. I still think he winds up in the title scene sooner rather than later and shockingly enough, that doesn’t sound too bad. He’s definitely playing the character well but he needs a few decent wins for credibility.

We see another AJ in Mexico video, with Styles saying he’s an awesome wrestler.

Dixie freaks out on the production team for letting that video air.

Jeff Hardy talks about his injuries in the match last week but saying it’s just step one to winning the title.

Here’s Dixie to proclaim how great she is. Sometimes it feels great to say how amazing you are, such as when she kicked AJ off the show and raised the quality of the show. It also proves her point that no one is irreplaceable. AJ left in her car with her title but in a few weeks we’ll have a new champion to replace Styles. Dixie talks about the tournament being all gimmicky and calls out the four people in the matches next week: Bobby Roode, James Storm, Magnus and Samoa Joe.

She spun the Wheel of Dixie earlier and it’s Roode vs. Storm in a bullrope match, with Dixie picking Roode to win. Dixie talks about Storm not doing anything for her lately, so Storm talks about being a cowboy and says his catchphrase. On the other hand, Joe vs. Magnus is going to be falls count anywhere. Joe says the only reason this tournament is going on is to cover for her inability to sign AJ to a new deal. Once he runs through the tournament, AJ gets the first title shot whether it’s here or anywhere else in the world. Magnus cuts Joe off and says he’ll win, but Dixie says this is all about finding her one true champion. Nice segment.

Anderson beats up Bischoff in the back and handcuffs him to a metal cart.

Video on Angle’s submission skills.

Gail Kim vs. Hannah Blossom

This is the Gail Kim open challenge to anyone from outside of the company. If Hannah wins, she gets a title shot down the line. Gail kicks her in the head to start and rams Hannah into a buckle. More kicks put Blossom down and there’s the Figure Four around the post for good measure. Hannah makes the jobber comeback but misses a charge and Eats Defeat for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual with Kim. She’s decent in the ring but I just do not care about her at all and haven’t in years. It’s another case of something we’ve seen so many times that there’s no reason to get interested in it at all. At least we’re getting some fresh Knockouts for the time being though.

Joseph Park comes out again and talks about how he doesn’t know where Abyss is. All he knows is that Abyss is a future TNA Hall of Famer and issues an open challenge to Abyss for next week. That should be interesting.

Anderson carries Bischoff away on his shoulders.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Kurt Angle vs. Austin Aries

Submission match. Feeling out process to start with Angle taking it to the mat and putting on a headscissors. Aries rolls out of the ankle lock but Kurt bails to the floor to avoid the Last Chancery. Back in and Aries grabs a quick STF but Angle is in the ropes even faster. Angle comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Roode comes out with a chair to watch from the stage. Kurt gets distracted, allowing Aries to dive off the top, only to be caught in a belly to belly. Aries dropkicks him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Aries in control and going after the neck, only to wake Angle up in the process. Angle rolls some Germans but Aries armdrags Angle out to the floor. A big top rope ax handle to the floor puts Kurt down again but Aries hurts his ankle in the process. Aries comes back in with a missile dropkick but Angle grabs the ankle lock in midair to take over.

Aries counters by rolling Angle into the corner but Angle catches the running dropkick in another ankle lock. Austin rolls through again to send Angle outside but it’s quickly back inside so Aries can hit the missile dropkick. The corner dropkick sets up the brainbuster and the Last Chancery but of course Angle doesn’t tap.

Aries lets go of the hold and Angle snaps off another suplex, only to have Aries get up top. He throws Angle off to block a running suplex but Aries’ 450 only hits mat and hurts the ankle again. The Angle Slam is countered twice but Aries misses a charge into the post and Angle Crossfaces him for the win at 16:45.

Rating: B-. I liked the match but it felt like it was just waiting until we got to the inevitable. That’s a major problem for so much of TNA’s stuff anymore as you can call most of what they’re going to do anymore. Aries was trying but it was a lot of the same stuff we always see from him. Still way better than anything else tonight though.

Anderson drags Bischoff out to piledrive him on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t bad tonight but it’s clear that they’ve only got two stories at the moment. Luckily for them the stories aren’t bad, but that’s going to catch up to them in the long run, as it always does. The matches were rather bad for the most part though with mainly a night of squashes to set up the big show next week. The main event helped but Angle winning was somewhat obvious. Again, the show has no soul though and it’s showing more and more every week.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Knux – Mic Check

Christopher Daniels b. Joseph Park – Low blow

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes – Double pin after 1 Perfecters to both men

Gail Kim b. Hannah Blossom – Eat Defeat

Kurt Angle b. Austin Aries – Crossface

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 14, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

This is the Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show. Eddie passed away I think the previous day in his hotel room, making this obviously not a normal show. It’s an often requested show so I more or less had to do it at some point. The matches mean nothing of course and it’s not like the guys’ heads are on straight. I’ve heard it’s good, so let’s get to it.

Before I get started, I probably should give my thoughts on Eddie as a whole. I never was huge on him. I think he’s a great wrestler and had exceptional talent, but he wasn’t the guy that I saw as this legend that so many people claim him to be. It also strikes me as very ironic that after he passed away he was all of a sudden this tragic figure that was so inspirational to everyone, despite no one seeming to say that while he was alive.

I do not like the way his legacy was exploited in storylines later. I stand by what I say that Eddie Guerrero won the 06 Rumble and beat Orton and Angle in the world title match at Wrestlemania. Rey got his push off the back of Eddie and I can’t stand that at all. I’m not saying it was Rey’s fault, but I’ve never been able to stand the push that he got as well as the constant referencing Eddie when he has nothing to do with the stories. Anyway in short he’s a great wrestler, but not one of the greats. Let’s get to it.

We open with the entire roster standing on the stage to a big Eddie chant. Vince stands in front of them and says that he passed away so tonight we’re going to celebrate his life and career. Everyone is clearly sad but they’re not as shaken up as they probably had been before. Vince asks everyone to stand in silence as they ring the bell ten times which is kind of hard to watch.

There’s a video tribute to Eddie, set to Johnny Cash’s Hurt. Good stuff. Back in the arena Vince says Viva La Raza. BIG Thank You Eddie chant.

We begin the sitting down tributes from the guys, the first being Cena. He talks about how passionate Eddie was and how he mentored Cena as he started here.

First clip is Eddie spraying Big Show with sewage on Smackdown.

Big Show/Kane vs. MNM

The difference in Show’s weight then as compared to now is striking. He is FAT here. He’s still big today but he doesn’t look like he’s retaining water. I probably shouldn’t notice this here but Lillian is smoking in that little black dress. Both teams are tag champions on their respective shows with Show/Kane being on Raw. Show vs. Nitro starts us off and we unleash the chops.

Kane goes up for the clothesline but the two M’s take care of the big friend freak and Nitro gets a shot in to Kane with a belt to get two. MNM can’t suplex Kane so he throws them around instead. Off to Show and the beating begins again. Show massacres them as Melina gets up on the apron. She gets a kiss and Mercury gets the Kane clothesline. Double chokeslam ENDS Nitro for the pin.

Rating: C-. If I didn’t mention this before, the ratings here aren’t ones that should be taken seriously. The guys aren’t really thinking clearly probably and the matches aren’t going to mean anything in the long run. MNM would get better but their successors, Miz and Morrison would work better. This was ok for a semi-squash though.

Lillian tells a story about being in Eddie’s group in Iraq last year. She speaks some Spanish, saying she’ll see him again someday.

We get a clip of Eddie talking about auctioning off a bunch of Kurt’s stuff which is similar to the way Cryme Tyme would sell stuff off. Funny bit.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kurt Angle

This works. Angle is in the black tonight so you can tell he’s being serious. Angle takes a quick knee to pray a bit before we start. Angle takes him to the mat almost immediately so Shelton starts using the ropes to his advantage and we have a standoff. I love watching Angle hit belly to bellies. Angle gets a chinlock and calls some spots a bit too loudly.

Benjamin counters a suplex and hooks a DDT to put both guys down. It’s so odd to hear Joey talking about Kurt Angle for some reason. We crank it up a bit but Shelton breaks out a Samoan Drop of all things but he can’t get the T-Bone. Dragon Whip works instead for a close two. Running corner suplex is blocked and Benjamin gets a HUGE clothesline off the top for two.

Angle is like boy I’m Kurt Angle and busts out the Germans and the Angle Slam for only two of course. Shelton blocks a moonsault and hits a release German off the top! SICK bump there. Somehow it only gets two and as Shelton complains about the count Angle grabs the ankle and gets the grapevine. Since Shelton isn’t the Undertaker, that ends this solid match.

Rating: B-. I really liked this actually. Shelton was the MAN in 2005, more than holding his own by just showing off how awesome he was against far better wrestlers than himself. This was another good match where his inexperience caught up with him but was still pretty freaking sweet. Good match and a lot of fun on a hard show to get through.

I wasn’t kidding on the hard to get through part as this has taken me nearly two days to get this far. Angle holds up the armband with EG on it and is having trouble holding it together.

Shawn talks about how he never wrestled Eddie but has a connection with Eddie as both men were born again Christians. Good little speech here and rather touching. Unless you’re Gregory Helms I guess.

Clips from the Lie Cheat and Steal vignettes which were absolutely hilarious and were actually the parts of Smackdown I was looking forward to most for a few months. It’s so weird to see Vickie as a decent looking woman with red/blonde hair.

Chavo does what is probably the hardest talk of his life as he talks about growing up with Eddie as a brother rather than as his uncle. They were only three years apart so they grew up more or less as brothers. We get a cool story of them wrestling in Chavo Sr.’s promotion in El Paso when they were kids. This is clipped as I’d definitely assume he talked about this for a long time and you know they wouldn’t tell him to wrap it up. This was again hard to sit through.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rey Mysterio

This should be awesome as well. This is the older version of Rey’s song which is kind of weird to hear now. The new one is way better. Of course they speed things WAY up and neither guy can get an advantage. Coach talks about how tonight the titles and rivalries and brands have been put aside which for once isn’t cheesy as this stuff really does come off as they want to perform in Eddie’s name which is cool to see.

Joey makes a good point: how often do you see Shawn as the bigger and slower guy in a match? Shawn catapults Rey over the top but he hangs on and gets a springboard seated senton for two which Joey calls a Thesz Press for some reason. Shawn avoids a pair of 619s but gets caught with a Pescado as we take a break.

Back with Shawn holding a sleeper. We see a clip of him hitting a spinning neckbreaker during the break. I always like when guys break out random basic moves like those. It’s not like everyone knows five moves and that’s it. Heck even Cena knows six. Shawn controls for the most part here which is weird to see. Shawn beats on him a bit and works Rey’s back.

Rey speeds things up a bit and kicks Shawn in the legs and gets some dropkicks for two. Shawn hits the flying forearm and both guys are down. Coach predicts a nip up. Hey what do you know as he was right. 619 is avoided and a clothesline gets two for Shawn. He liked it I guess so he hits another and Rey is down again. The elbow hits but the Chin Music does not. In a VERY surprising twist, Rey gets a headscissors, hits the 619 and drops the dime on Shawn for the clean pin. WOW.

Rating: B-. Keep in mind that Rey wasn’t a world champion guy at this point so this would be like Kingston pinning Edge clean. It would be a huge win for him which wouldn’t be remembered soon after this due to it being a special night. Still though, this would be a good match either way and the whole thing worked. Something similar would happen the next night as Chavo beat JBL which there wasn’t a thing wrong with at all.

Batista talks about Eddie helping him through a lot of problems including some personal problems. Eddie was in a lot of pain but would go out there every night for the fans and entertain them as well as he could.

Another Eddie video to Hurt which might be the same one from earlier. Yeah it’s the same one.

Diva Battle Royal

Ashley, Maria, Christy, Victoria, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Candace Michelle, Trish Stratus

Mickie was still psycho at this point and didn’t have her usual personality here. Trish is Women’s Champion here and they’re all in Eddie shirts. All the shirts come off at once in one of the best parts of the night. Everyone pairs off except for I think that’s Maria. Sweet goodness how hot was Christy?

Mickie gets a sweet headscissors to show off her sweeter thong but goes out as a result. As does Jillian. Maria is kind of standing off to the side and stealing shots when she can. Ashley goes out by Victoria and Candace. Victoria and Melina try to take out Trish but runs into the Matrish which is awesome. Candace punches Christy to the floor.

We’re down to Victoria, Trish, Maria, Melina and Candace. Trish gets the headscissors to put Candace out. Maria sneaks up on Victoria to put her out. She’s the ditzy chick here so this is surprising. Melina and Trish look at her and throw her out with ease. Stratusfaction is blocked and Melina shoves her out for the surprising win.

Rating: C. Hard to grade again but the girls were rather hot and this was the only storyline thing they did all night which I can certainly live with. They were trying to find someone for Trish to feud with while Mickie got ready so there wasn’t much going on here at all. Hot girls though so no complaints on that end.

Rey talks about missing Eddie as he is clearly not sure what to say at first but it starts coming out. His is clipped a bit also as there’s also the possibility that they said something personal that they don’t want airing on national TV. Totally understandable if that’s the case. He stops talking for awhile and says that everyone is going to miss Eddie and his presence. Rey has to keep pausing during this as he can’t keep talking.

We see one of Eddie’s biggest moments as he and Benoit hugged with both of them as world champions to end Wrestlemania 20. That was a huge moment in retrospect as the smaller and “less marketable” stars were at the top of the company and were completely accepted as the top guys on the roster. Really an amazing moments and the peaks of both of their careers.

Simon Dean vs. Eugene

Dean is the fitness guy played by Nova. This is a comedy match if you didn’t get that. They get in a pushup contest and Eugene does his JYD headbutts. Back in the ring after a brief skirmish on the floor. Dean hits a chinlock and Eugene Hulks Up and hits an Airplane Spin. Dean accidentally slingshots himself into the buckle with his stretch bands and a Rock Bottom ends this. No rating but this was rather funny at times and you can’t complain for a second about a match like this on a show like this.

Chris Benoit talks and this is the big one here for the most part as these two were more or less inseparable throughout their mainstream careers. Benoit talks about being able to pour his heart out to Eddie and get help whenever he needed it from him. Benoit talks directly to Eddie and breaks down in tears that are bordering on wailing. The emotion here is real as allegedly the diaries found at Benoit’s murder scene were filled with writing about how he missed Eddie so much. It’s so….so…..I’m not sure what the right word is to think that you might have just seen the moment that sent Benoit beyond the point of return.

HHH talks about how great Eddie was in the ring and how great of a performer he was. He talks about how Eddie overcame his demons and beat every single one of them which from what I’ve heard was completely true and that he had been clean and sober for four years when he passed away which is a very good thing to hear.

Ric Flair vs. William Regal

Flair is the Intercontinental Champion here but this is of course non-title. This is a very old school style match with Flair hooking an abdominal stretch and cheating. This is less of a match and more of a how to have a Ric Flair match. Regal unlaces Flair’s boot which is a new one for me I think. Regal hammers away for a bit and sends Flair to the floor. And never mind as Flair gets some chops and goes for the knee as the Figure Four ends it with relative ease. No rating here as it was little more than a long practice for Flair.

Stephanie talks about first meeting Eddie when Eddie was thinking about making the jump to WWF. Eddie was apparently very humble which is a recurring line tonight. She talks about talking to Eddie on Friday where he talked about winning the title again. Allegedly, and I’ve never heard this confirmed for sure, Eddie was supposed to win the title on the upcoming Smackdown as Batista was injured. Supposedly Stephanie confirmed that here but I didn’t hear that from her here.

We get some more Eddie stuff including him accidentally winning the IC Title (in Lexington) which was one of the oddest title changes ever but it worked perfectly in a weird wrestling way.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is world champion. Orton actually wears his own shirt here which is a first tonight I think. Cena wrestles in the shirt which is a nice little touch. Since there is zero point to this being a real match it’s an extended highlight reel from these two. It doesn’t even break four minutes as Cena cranks things up and then Bob Orton runs in for the DQ to break up the FU. No rating again as about ¼ was chinlock. Cena gets the FU anyway. In a classy move Cena takes off his shirt and leaves it and the title on the mat to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This was a very fine show tribute aside. There were some very good matches, but again that’s not something that mattered here. This was about a show in memory of a great wrestler that suddenly passed away. I do have issues with Eddie’s death as it was brought on by years of substance abuse, but the fact that he got clean means a lot and is a great story indeed.

This was a very good show, but again it’s hard to sit through until I just rammed through it one night. It got to me, which isn’t something that happens often. The wrestling was good and having the comedy match on there was a nice touch as comedy was a big part of Eddie’s style at various times. He was indeed great and this was a very well done tribute to him as it felt genuine rather than something thrown together. Well done and a very good show, but I wouldn’t recommend watching it unless you can take some hard emotions along with it.

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Genesis 2005
Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

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Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.

Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.

We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.

They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.

Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.

McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.

Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.

Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.

Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.

Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.

Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.

It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.

Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.

Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.

Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.

A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.

Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.

Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.

It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.

Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.

There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.

Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!

Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.

Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.

Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.

Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.

This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.

Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.

HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.

It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.

Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

Redo: C

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

I’m going to Wrestlemania.

Ticket purchased, hotel room reserved.  It’s actually happening.

NXT
Date: November 13, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tensai, William Regal

I’m pretty sure this is the last of the taping cycle, meaning we’ll get our bigger names back next week. That being said, the last few weeks haven’t been horrible at all and tonight’s main event is a 2/3 falls match between Adrian Neville and Corey Graves which has been a decent little feud. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Bayley/Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks/Summer Rae

Bayley offers Sasha a headband to start the match but Summer takes it away and throws it down. Charlotte comes in before there’s any contact to shoe Sasha down. Off to a hammerlock on Banks with some knees into the arms getting a two count. Bayley comes back in but gets driven into the corner for a tag off to Summer. A fireman’s carry takes Rae down but she pops back up and takes Bayley’s head off with a clothesline for two.

We take a break and come back with Sasha holding Bayley in a chinlock. Back to Summer for some choking on the ropes before putting on a full nelson with her legs. That’s rather awesome and painful looking at the same time. Bayley rolls away but gets dragged back to the corner for a tag to Banks. Charlotte really doesn’t seem interested in making a tag. Bayley grabs Sasha for a belly to back front slam and crawls over to Charlotte….who slaps her in the face. The flipping cutter allows Sasha to get the pin at 6:24 shown of 9:54.

Rating: C. This was much more about the story than the match and that’s just fine. This looks to be an actual second story in the Divas division which is unheard of in the current WWE version. Also, it says a lot that Charlotte has been wrestling for a few months now and would probably be better than about half the WWF Divas.

Aiden English is warming up his voice.

Camacho vs. Aiden English

Camacho still has a job??? English gets a huge pop and sings about how all of the fans adore him. Regal admits his man crush on English as Aiden takes him into the corner for some stomping. Camacho comes back with a slam for two but runs into an elbow in the corner. English begs off but gets caught in a belly to back suplex and a legdrop crushes the vocal chords. Not that it matters as English comes back with the Director’s Cut for the pin at 2:09.

English gives us an encore to the loudest pop of the night. Regal gives him a standing ovation and starts crying.

The blonde talks to Rusev in I’m assuming Bulgarian.

Danny Burch vs. Mason Ryan

Burch jumps him from behind to start and uppercuts Ryan into the corner. Mason comes back with a running clothesline and some headbutts but Burch punches him down again. Mason will have none of this selling though and the cobra clutch slam ends Burch at 2:35. Ryan just isn’t that good.

Bo Dallas is coming home next week. So the theme song has been about him all these months?

Corey Graves vs. Adrian Neville

2/3 falls here. Neville hits a quick dropkick for two but walks into an elbow to the jaw to put him down. A belly to back suplex gets a near fall on Neville but he comes back with some forearms of his own. Adrian gets two off a side roll before flipping forward twice and jumping to the apron. He kicks Graves in the head to put him down and the Red Arrow gives him the first fall at 2:11.

Graves gets to his feet but rolls to the floor for a breather. Adrian will have none of that and goes outside for some chops and a knee lift. Back inside and Neville loads up another Red Arrow but Corey rolls away before Adrian can jump. Graves shakes the ropes to send Adrian to the floor, possibly reinjuring the bad knee. Corey takes him back inside to pound on the knee and we take a break.

Back with Graves pounding on the chest for two before wrapping the bad leg around the post. Off to a half crab for a very long time until Adrian kicks him off. Graves chop blocks him down and puts on Lucky 13 for the second fall at 8:11 shown of 10:56 shown so far. Neville’s knee is barely functioning as he tries to pull himself up in the corner but he uses the good leg to stop a charging Graves.

Graves fires back with some shoulders in the corner but Neville escapes I think a spinebuster and hits a low kick to the head to send Graves to the floor. Back in and Neville chops away and pounds on Corey in the corner until the knee gives out. Corey loads up another chop block but Neville hits a low dropkick to the head for two in a nice counter. Neville tries the Red Arrow again but the knee gives out and he falls to the mat. Lucky 13 goes on again but he crawls to the ropes on his knuckles for the break. Graves loads up the hold again but gets small packaged for the third fall at 13:01 shown of 15:46.

Rating: B-. I liked the match but it never hit the level it was shooting for. That being said, it’s still a very solid match with a good story of Neville not quitting and winning when Graves went to the knee over and over again. I love how NXT has managed to make the 2/3 falls match a major gimmick match as it’s treated like a joke on Raw anymore.

Overall Rating: C+. Decent show here but it’ll be nice to have the big stars back. The problem here is that while the wrestling is good, the stories behind it aren’t all that strong. While wrestling is important, it’s almost always going to pale in comparison to the intrigue and stories being told in the feuds. Still though, good and entertaining show to close out the cycle.

Results

Summer Rae/Sasha Banks b. Charlotte/Bayley – Banks pinned Bayley after a flipping cutter from Charlotte

Aiden English b. Camacho – Director’s Cut

Mason Ryan b. Danny Burch – Cobra clutch slam

Adrian Neville b. Corey Graves – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Nitro #142
Date: June 22, 1998
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 8,749
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

The main story we’ve got tonight is the signing of Karl Malone for a match at Bash at the Beach. WCW’s obsession with celebrities got annoying after awhile but to be fair, they had far bigger problems than wrestling basketball players. Other than that we’ll likely get a lot more about the NWO civil war, which hasn’t been so much of a war as much as it’s been a lot of talking. Let’s get to it.

We open with promises of clips from the Karl Malone press conference later.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about the tag match for a bit.

We look at Hogan and Rodman attacking Page with chairs a few weeks ago.

We get a clip from the Tonight Show with Hogan and Rodman as guests making fun of Malone for losing in the NBA Finals.

Here’s DDP with something to say. This is going to be one of those shows with one topic of discussion all night isn’t it? Page says he’s jacked to be in Jacksonville. He talks about how he’s looking forward to the match at the Bash because it’s personal between him and Hogan. Page wants a piece of Hogan but not as much as Malone wants a piece of Rodman.

Disco Inferno vs. Len Denton

Denton is most famous for his work in Portland Wrestling as the Grappler. Disco pounds him down to start and hits his swinging neckbreaker for two. We even get something resembling a People’s Elbow for a nice reaction from the crowd. Denton makes a jobber style comeback but gets caught by some clotheslines and a piledriver gets the pin for Disco.

Here’s NFL player Kevin Greene to no reaction at all. He talks about the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Carolina Panthers for several minutes with the fans dying more and more every second. This brings out Rude and Hennig to tell him to get out of their ring but Kevin wants a fight. Giant jumps Greene from behind to finally get a reaction from the crowd.

Post break JJ makes Giant vs. Greene for tonight. Great, more sports stars dominating the show.

Tokyo Magnum vs. Yuji Nagata

The name graphic says “Tokoyo”. Tokyo dances a lot so Nagata pounds him in the face and claps a lot. The announcers mention Tokyo being an Ultimo Dragon student as he comes back with a forearm. Yuji sends him to the floor so Sonny can get in some kicks to take over. Back in and we get…..wait for it……wait for it……more kicking!

A leg lock has Tokyo in trouble as the announcers talk about a bunch of sports stars instead of wrestling. Various leg locks abound and a standing ax kick puts Magnum down. Nagata misses a running knee in the corner and Tokyo scores with a dropkick for two. Not that it matters as a spinwheel kick to the face sets up the Nagata Lock to make Magnum tap.

Rating: D-. I’m thoroughly over these kicking matches. They wind up being nothing but kicking various body parts and leg locks before a big kick and a big leg lock ends it. Nagata isn’t terrible in the ring but he has the personality of the tree in my front yard. Nothing to see here at all.

Raven talks about Saturn betraying him in his usual style.

We cut to the back where Stevie Ray has attacked Benoit.

Public Enemy vs. Sick Boy/Horace

This match actually has rules for a change. Public Enemy runs them over, knocking the Flock members to the floor. Back in and it’s Rocco working on Sick Boy’s arm to start things off. Off to Grunge for a shot to the chest and a double flapjack before Horace comes in, only to be taken down for a double elbow drop. The Flock finally gets their act together and snaps Rocco’s neck across the top rope to take over.

Sick Boy whips him into the corners a few times, only to get caught in a sunset flip for two. The bad guys take turns stomping mudholes in Rocco before Horace gets two off a side slam. Rocco gets clotheslined out to the floor before coming back inside to avoid a charge in the corner. The announcers ignore the match to talk about football and basketball players as Horace accidentally hits Sick Boy with a stop sign. Rocco comes off the top and drives the sign into Horace for the pin.

Rating: D. So to clarify it was a match with rules but two shots with a stop sign are perfectly legal? The match was nothing to see for the most part but the commentators ruined anything it had going for it by talking about the sports guys for the majority of the match. Flock wasn’t terrible here actually.

The Nitro Girls are now in NWO shirts and no one seems to notice.

Here’s Bret Hart with something to say. Bret shushes Gene and hopes WCW is happy for turning one Canadian against another. He remembers Benoit (his opponent tonight) being a little kid running around in Calgary and now the Americans have turned him into another punk kid. Nothing special here but there’s nothing wrong with hyping a match for later in the show.

We get even more Tonight Show footage with Page and Malone coming out to face Rodman and Hogan. A fight nearly broke out and this goes on way too long. This was before the match was officially announced but the news had leaked weeks earlier anyway.

Hour #2 begins.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Rick Fuller

Goldberg takes him down and grabs the ankle before hitting a botched spear (it looked more like a tackle/spinebuster with Full taking a few steps back before going down) and the Jackhammer to retain.

Annoying fans talked about Rodman earlier today.

The announcers talk about Kevin Greene again.

More kids talking about the celebrity match. Good grief we get it already.

Here’s the Wolfpack with something to say. Everyone hits their catchphrases before Sting talks to a mannequin which apparently proves that this is Wolfpack country. Being Nash’s partner makes him a medium sized giant killer and promises to defend the titles anywhere anytime. Nash says too sweet….and that’s it. Short promos tonight.

Fans talking about basketball players again.

Nitro Girls in silver.

Alex Wright vs. Eddie Guerrero

The announcers are talking about the basketball players before the bell even rings. Alex takes him down to start and stomps away before dancing a bit. Eddie comes back with a jumping back elbow and some chops in the corner but Alex pokes him in the eye. A backbreaker allows Alex to dance a bit more and get a delayed two. Eddie dropkicks him down so Alex bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and a quick suplex gets two for Wright but he misses a top rope knee drop. Eddie comes back with the brainbuster as Chavo comes out to cheer. The distraction lets Wright grab a suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. This was mainly about waiting on Chavo to show up which is fine for a story but the match hasn’t been anything to see so far. Wright continues to be fun to watch and talented in the ring and Eddie is Eddie, but this match had nothing to it at all. It gets rather dull waiting thirty seconds between moves you know?

Chavo grabs a mic and talks about playing Monopoly the night before and landing on Park Place with three hotels even though he owned the place. Eddie: “YOU’RE WACKO!” Chavo: “No that’s Chavo. C-h-a-v-o, C-h-a-v-o, C-h-a-v-o and Chavo is my name-o.” He keeps talking about Monopoly as we go to a break.

More fans, more Rodman, more aspirin for me.

Back from a break and we get MORE fans talking about the tag match.

Konnan vs. Scotty Riggs

Konnan grabs the arm and hits the rolling clothesline before pulling on his pants. Riggs trips him up and scores with a dropkick. After some quick choking he sends Konnan out to the floor for a decent looking plancha. Back in and they botch a leapfrog with Konnan landing on Riggs’ back before a clothesline gets two on Scotty. A rollup gets the same result but a Lodi distraction lets Riggs get in a cheap shot to take over. Riggs powerslams him down for two but misses a missile dropkick. The Tequila Sunrise gets the submission a second later.

Rating: D+. Riggs is another good example of a guy who was just there. He didn’t have anything unique or special in his offense and was little more than a warm body that wouldn’t screw anything up horribly. Konnan continues to be charismatic but not the best in ring worker to put it mildly.

The announcers talk about the basketball match again.

Now we get to see the freaking press conference announcing the match where the ball players cut promos on each other.

Hour #3 begins.

Steve McMichael vs. Stevie Ray

Are they actively trying to tick the fans off? That’s a serious question. They can’t think this is the most entertaining thing they could put on right now. Stevie wins a quick slugout to start and kicks Mongo down as the announcers talk about how tough Mongo was because of his football career. Mongo comes back with right hands and some choking as we take a break. Yes, in THIS match.

Back with Ray kicking Mongo down again before calling someone in the crowd a sucka. An elbow drop gets two and Stevie is getting frustrated. We hit the chinlock to keep the match at its dull pace until Mongo fights up and kicks to the ribs. The “fight” heads out to the floor with Ray being sent into the barricade before grabbing a chair. Benoit comes out and takes it away but Booker takes the chair from Chris. It’s a four way staredown and the match just ends.

Rating: F. Let this show end soon before I injure myself.

Here’s the Black and White with something to say. Bischoff talks about how amazing Hogan is and makes jokes about breaking Savage’s leg. Hogan says Liz only stayed with Savage because of the money because Savage clearly wasn’t much of a man. He talks about the basketball match (it had been a full five minutes after all) for several minutes while saying nothing at all. Tony: “What have they done to our sport?” That should be the title of this episode. Hogan actually gets up close to the camera and says he’ll be a sixty minute man at Bash at the Beach. I’ve heard that was actually the plan until sanity sat in.

We look back at Benoit turning down the win over Booker due to Bret’s interference.

Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart

If this is anything less than perfect, this is in the running for most worthless Nitro ever. Benoit snaps off a quick armdrag to start before Bret drives him into the corner for a surprisingly clean break. Benoit takes him down by the arm again and hooks an armbar as we’re still in first gear here. Bret fights up and scores with a hard DDT for no cover. Benoit comes back with some hard forearms to the head but Hart rocks him with European uppercuts. A middle rope elbow (not the middle rope elbow) misses Benoit and Chris chops him down.

Benoit is sent out to the floor and rammed back first into the post. Bret pounds away at Benoit’s head before heading back inside to pose a bit. A piledriver (not a tombstone Tony) gets two on Benoit and Bret is getting frustrated. We take a break with Heenan talking about Kevin Greene and come back with Bret getting two off something we didn’t see. The Russian legsweep gets another near fall on Benoit and Bret’s counter to an O’Connor Roll gets the same.

Bret takes too much time yelling at the referee and gets caught in two rolling Germans and a dragon suplex for no cover. A snap suplex looks to set up the Swan Dive but Bret rolls away. Bret goes up top very slowly and gets superplexed down for a close two. The fans are finally into something tonight. A short arm clothesline gets two more for Benoit so he slaps on the Crossface. Bret can’t make the rope but here’s Stevie Ray for a distraction, allowing Bret to knock Benoit out cold with a foreign object. Bret puts on the Sharpshooter for the win since Benoit is out cold.

Rating: B-. The match was getting good by the ending but we just needed a worthless guy with limited talent to screw up the ending. Benoit got a good rub here and I get why they can’t have Bret do a job, but can we please get Benoit a win? It doesn’t even have to be anything big. Just let him submit say….El Dandy. I’d take that at this point.

The announcers recap the Kevin Greene stuff in case you’ve only been watching for 85 seconds.

Kevin Greene vs. Giant

Greene is in street clothes which at least helps with some realism. He pounds away on Giant in the corner but gets caught by a single elbow to the face. A low blow slows Giant down and here’s Hennig for the DQ after maybe 75 seconds.

The rest of the Black and White comes in for the group beatdown until Goldberg (Green’s old teammate) makes the save. Greene throws out a challenge for a tag match at Bash at the Beach against Giant/Hennig to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Only Benoit vs. Hart kept this from being a failure but it’s by a hair. This was TERRIBLE with the basketball and Kevin Greene talk killing this show right out of the box. I was a huge NBA fan in the 90s but even I was getting sick of hearing about it back then. The commentary and lack of anything (save for the Canadians) else being good crippled this show for three very long hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2012
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’ve got a good bit going on tonight, with the main thing being that Jerry Lawler is back from his very real heart attack. On top of that we’ve got the Ryback vs. Brad Maddox challenge match where if Maddox wins he gets a million dollar contract. Finally it’s the go home Raw for Survivor Series which is always interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual VETERANS ARE AWESOME video, narrated by Cena of course. Can’t complain much about this.

They do the stupid voiceover stuff here, this time about Lawler coming back for the first time tonight. This immediately transitions into a video on Cena/AJ/Vickie. You know, because a fake affair between two people who are single in both real life and in storyline is the same as a man nearly dying.

Cena vs. Punk tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

For some annoying reason, we hear about the rivalry between Del Rio and Orton. There is NO reason for that feud to exist anymore. Period. None. Think about it: why should I as a fan care about any of the matches between them if there’s seemingly no blowoff anywhere in sight? This is part of Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley. Have Foley and Ziggler ever even spoken to each other on television? If so has it been in the last year?

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking over by throwing Dolph into the air. A slingshot suplex gets two for the Viper but he misses a charge and gets dropkicked down for two. JR talks about how Orton was the sole survivor in 2004 and 2005 and made his name in Survivor Series matches. He was the sole survivor in 2003 as well so he really started making his name there but who’s counting?

Off to a chinlock but Orton easily suplexes out of it and hits his clotheslines. There’s the Elevated DDT and here’s Del Rio for a distraction. Orton knocks Alberto to the floor and counters the Zig Zag into a rollup for the pin at 3:16. I know they want to make him the new Austin but isn’t that quite a stretch?

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I can’t stand rating due to how short it is. I usually only rate matches that run three minutes or more, so this barely qualifies as a ratable match. It’s your standard preview for the Survivor Series match, which means it’s not that good. Ziggler has to lose again of course though.

Post match Orton gets triple teamed until Kofi makes the save. This brings out Teddy Long who makes a tag match. Since Vickie is busy with AJ, Teddy grants himself power because it’s a Super Show. Is it even called that anymore?

Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Dolph and Kofi start things off of course, which is probably the right idea given how good they are together. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down and we take a break. Back with Alberto hammering away on Kofi before it’s back to Ziggler. Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down again and it’s off to the handstand chinlock. That stays on for a minute or so before Kofi fights out of it and makes the hot tag to Randy who gets to fight Del Rio. Everything breaks down and things start getting good. SOS gets two on Del Rio and Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise, but a Ricardo distraction lets Del Rio kick Kofi in the head for the pin at 4:37 shown of 8:07.

Rating: C. Better match than the first one, but did they really have to do THE EXACT SAME FINISH in the span of ten minutes? Are they that creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with anything else? This was nothing of note until the end where things sped up, but most of the match was in the commercial so what is there for me to grade anyway?

Orton stares at Del Rio because there’s no end to this feud in sight because that’s how WWE works anymore.

Post break here’s Vickie with Ziggler, who is now in his THIRD STRAIGHT SEGMENT. Sweet goodness people you have three hours of Raw a week and THIS is how you use it? I like Ziggler but this is like Jerry Lawler on Memphis TV. He talks about the AJ scandal and we recap the pictures and video from the last few weeks. Vickie says that AJ has said that if they’re every in the same ring, the beating will be awesome.

Vickie calls out AJ and cuts her off, demanding an admission of guilt. AJ says she didn’t do it and GET THE HECK ON WITH IT. This goes on forever with Vickie saying that AJ has to admit the affair or something bad will happen and I zone out. AJ says she admits….that they’re just friends. OH SCREW THIS STORY.

I mean seriously, WHAT is this leading to? Vickie vs. AJ? That’s the payoff of this? Cena and Ziggler aren’t even fighting anymore and who cares? AJ says this is about Vickie getting passed over for the GM job at Raw 1000 and how AJ has abused her twice in the ring. AJ says that Vickie is throwing her weight around and we get a fat joke. Vickie has voicemails that may or may not have been doctored and this story just keeps going. One voicemail is just AJ talking to John, whoever that is.

A second talks about AJ and someone needing to stop this but again no name is given. AJ looks concerned after the third one, saying Vickie hacked into Cena’s phone and edited those together. AJ is about to yell when Ziggler cuts her off. Cena finally comes out and beats up Ziggler. Again, if that was the match on Sunday, this would be more acceptable. Still bad, but acceptable. Unfortunately, this ISN’T the match on Sunday and therefore is a BIG FREAKING WASTE OF TIME. This segment was nearly FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES LONG.

Cole and JR talk about the veterans a bit and we get a video about them.

Post break it’s MORE CENA AND AJ! They’re in the back and AJ is freaking out. Cena says that there’s nothing going on and not to worry about it. AJ implies that something might happen and Cena blushes a bit. They leave awkwardly as the crowd says ooooo.

We recap the pub fight from last week on Smackdown.

William Regal vs. Big Show

See, this is something where they could mix it up. Make this a world title match. Does it mean much? Not really, but would it hurt anything? Show is supposed to be all dominant so why not give the fans a chance to buy something could happen? It’s not going to hurt a thing but it could make things a tiny bit more interesting. Show pounds away on Regal but Regal keeps that psycho look on his face. A left hand has no effect on Show but Show misses an elbow drop. Regal goes off on Show but it’s a chokeslam for the pin at 1:40. Again, why not make that a title match to give people a reason to watch?

Post match Show loads up the WMD but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus stomps and pounds on Show so the champion runs.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

The winner gets the shot at Eve on Sunday who is on commentary. It’s one of those worthless forty five second matches (literally) with Kaitlyn countering a cross body out of the corner into a reverse DDT for the pin and the shot at Eve. And people wonder why no one cares about the Divas.

We get a video from two months ago where Lawler had his heart attack, including audio from the paramedics and backstage footage. Classy people those WWE bosses. I know Lawler is cool with it, but seriously, showing footage of a man almost DYING? Doing an angle in the ring is one thing, but that’s a bit much no?

Cole and JR are in the ring and here’s the return of Jerry Lawler. This is a really cool moment with the fans and announcers legitimately having emotion for someone coming back. Even Cole hugs Jerry which is a pretty big moment. Lawler isn’t sure what to say but he can’t believe he’s really back here. Jerry talks about the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, which is about a man who didn’t know how good he had it until he almost lost it. He thanks the fans for their prayers….and here are Punk and Heyman.

Jerry immediately gets out of the ring and Punk says that he’s glad Jerry got out of the ring, because he would have beaten Lawler to death….again. It’s ok to boo Punk but you can’t get Lawler involved right? Punk talks about how Lawler wants to relive his glory days and fight him but that’s in bad taste too right? Apparently one of the side effects is having a heart attack, and shame on all the people for blaming Punk for the heart attack. It’s all Lawler’s fault apparently because apparently Jerry couldn’t let it go.

Punk is tired of hearing about the number of minutes Punk was dead, but the real number is 358, which is the amount of days he’s been champion. He’s now past Diesel on the all time list, but once he gets past Cena, he’s pretty much done unless he has the title another three years. Punk tells Lawler not to die before the PPV, so Lawler says that Punk’s reign as champion is on life support.

Now we get to the controversial part of the show: Heyman fakes a heart attack. Punk throws up the X and performs CPR and Heyman is fine. It’s time for a little lesson from KB: those of you that were offended by this need to go watch Care Bears because it’s more at your maturity level. This is EXACTLY what people have been wanting for years: more mature storylines. These kind of things would have been tame back in the old days and if you believe Lawler wasn’t giving this the ok the whole time, you’re an idiot.

Punk played on the crowd’s emotions and the people hate him even more now. That’s called working the fans which you NEVER get anymore, and that’s because everyone is afraid of being offended. Was this evil by Punk? Of course it was. Was this playing on peoples’ emotions? Of course it was. Was this a good idea? Of course it was. I mean, it’s almost like Punk is a villain and he’s offended the fans. If only there were people that could avenge Punk by taking away the thing he loves most, say in a triple threat match. At Survivor Series. Available on Pay Per View.

Then, the fans that are glad to see Punk lose could say to their mom: “THAT WAS SO COOL! John Cena beat Punk for the Championship! Can I have a John Cena shirt? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?” It’s almost like it’s SMART BUSINESS. But hey, people might be offended so we should just carry on talking while people ask for more actions which will wind up offending them, because if there’s one thing wrestling fans know, it’s what they want.

Anyway this brings out Mick Foley, as in the guy that Punk STILL isn’t fighting at Survivor Series, but we need to push this story anyway because the idea of changing things on the fly is WAY too freaking complicated for this batch of writers. Foley yells about Punk and Heyman disrespecting the business. Punk: “Take it easy. This man just had a heart attack!” Foley says we’ll get to vote on the final member of the team tonight so Punk makes fun of him.

Foley goes on a BIG rant about how Lawler was dead but he’s back today. Let’s summarize this quickly. Foley: “You have no respect.” Punk: “I don’t just off roofs.” That takes a few minutes before we’re told that Foley is the enforcer for the main event tonight, because that changes SO much. Oh and don’t bother saying Cena’s name here. Innocent people might have kept watching!

Post match Punk rants to Heyman about how everything is falling apart. Heyman says we’re out of options and Punk says to fix it.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico

Lawler is back on commentary officially. It’s Titus vs. Justin to start with O’Neal taking over. There’s the suplex drop with Young landing on Gabriel for two. Off to Epico for a chinlock and here’s Ricardo Rodriguez to give Rosa Mendes a note. She seems excited about what it said as Rey comes in to beat up Primo. A powerbomb by Primo is countered into a rana into the 619 position but Primo rolls to the floor. Rey hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault as we take a break.

Back with Titus beating on Mysterio on the floor. They head back in for Titus to hit the Nikolai Volkoff gorilla press backbreaker for two. We hit the bearhug for a bit before it’s off to Primo. Rey kicks Primo in the head to put him down but Young gets the tag before Rey can. Scratch that as Kidd gets the tag and things speed up. Kidd kicks Darren in the head and hits a Blockbuster as everything breaks down. Things speed up so fast that I can’t type it all. It’s down to Kidd vs. Young with Tyson countering the Gutbuster into a 619 from Rey followed by the 450 from Gabriel for the pin at 6:31 shown of 10:31.

Rating: C+. This started slow but once Kidd hit the Blockbuster it went INSANE fast. That’s the kind of things WWE should be doing: fast paced tag matches with the guys that are capable of having fast paced tag matches. Start the show with THIS instead of the long and dull matches you did and things get off on a much better foot.

The WWE still loves the troops!

Brad Maddox is in the back when Heyman comes in. He asks the camera to be shut off and the two of them go for a walk.

Miz is in the back on the phone when Ziggler comes in. Dolph says it’s only a matter of time before Miz comes crawling back to the team and they get in an argument. Foley comes up and a tag match between the Rhodes Scholars and Kane/whoever wins the poll is made. Foley says Amy Schmumer, Dolph’s real life ex-girlfriend who broke up with Dolph for being too athletic in bed, says hello. Ziggler leaves and Miz asks to be on the Foley ballot. We have a face turn ladies and gentlemen.

The full ballot: Santino, Ryder, Miz. And WWE has the nerve to complain when we say these polls are dumb.

R-Truth vs. Tensai

Cesaro comes out for commentary as he defends against Truth on Sunday. He makes fun of America for being a joke like Little Jimmy which hasn’t been funny in months. This is joined in progress after a break with Truth fighting out of a chinlock. Tensai fires off some chops to the neck for two and it’s off to an armbar. Truth makes a comeback, hits a dropkick and the ax kick to set up Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:14. This was nothing and I have zero desire to see Cesaro vs. Truth whatsoever.

Post match Cesaro yells at Truth so Truth says knock knock. Apparently Europe in my face is there and on Sunday, Truth is going to knock Cesaro’s teeth into his esophagus.

We get a clip of Ryback vs. Maddox in WWE 13.

Ad for the NWO DVD which doesn’t look that bad. Pay no attention to the clips that are used directly from Monday Night Wars.

We recap Maddox’s explanation and Vince’s announcement last week.

We recap the show so far. Why in the world would ANYONE want to see this again? I mean they just AIR THE SEGMENTS ALL OVER AGAIN. Dear goodness almighty what is wrong with this company anymore?

Brad Maddox vs. Ryback

If Maddox wins, he gets a million dollar contract. There’s an ambulance waiting for Maddox. Lawler: “Hey my ride’s here.” What are you expecting from this match? Maddox tries to run, Ryback rams Brad’s head into the mat about ten times, tells Maddox that he’s dead, powerslams him down, Meat Hooks Maddox to the floor, hits three HARD powerbombs and Shell Shocks him for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: N/A. I’m not going to bother rating this one as it was a LONG squash. At the end of the day, there was nothing interesting or surprising here and this is basically the ending of the storyline from HIAC. Why anyone wanted to see this is beyond me, but then again the entire show has been worthless so far.

We’re STILL not done with this as Ryback destroys Maddox a bit more and puts him on the stretcher and against the ambulance.

David Otunga vs. Sheamus

Total squash AGAIN with White Noise and the Brogue Kick ending this in 2:20. Again, there’s juts NOTHING to talk about in these matches tonight.

Post match Sheamus says he’ll win the title back. We see Show on the screen beating up Regal in the back.

Bryan doesn’t like that Kane is having another partner tonight.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Kane/???

Miz wins in a completely not shocking landslide. This is joined in progress with Kane getting two off a suplex on Sandow. Off to Miz for a knee lift for the same and the corner clothesline keeps Sandow in trouble. Off to Kane vs. Cody with the Scholars continuing to be in trouble. Bryan pouting is hilarious stuff. Miz backdrops Cody to the floor and hits an ax handle off the apron before glaring at Bryan.

The distraction lets Cody hit the Disaster Kick and it’s off to Damien again. Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Miz fights up and hits the Reality Check. Hot tag brings in Kane and a side slam gets two for Kane. Bryan and Miz get in a near argument and Cody gets chokeslammed for the pin at 5:39 shown.

Rating: C. This was just a regular tag match which went nowhere. Miz turning face is fine but at the end of the day, he’ll win a few matches then lose a few and no one will be any better off, because that’s how WWE works anymore. I guess we’re passing on the idea of the Scholars being champions anymore as they’ve lost time and time again. Actually scratch that as it means they’ll win soon I’m sure. Oh and of course the guy who is the big surprise turn doesn’t get to be in on the fall or anything like that.

More stuff about the troops. Tribute to the Troops is coming to Norfolk.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Non-title of course. Feeling out process to start with Cena cranking on the arm. Foley is guest enforcer and glares at Punk on the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena on top but falling out to the floor with Punk. Back in and a neckbreaker from Punk is countered into a backslide by Cena for two. Off to a chinlock by CM which is shifted into a sleeper. Cena starts his comeback but gets rolled up when he tries the Shuffle. A neckbreaker puts Cena down but the Macho Elbow misses.

There’s the Shuffle again but Punk rolls away. The AA is countered and some kicks get two for the champ. GTS and AA are both countered so Punk puts on a Koji Clutch. Cena gets the rope and counters the springboard clothesline into the STF. Foley takes out Heyman as the High Kick gets two for CM. The GTS is countered again into the STF but Punk makes the ropes again. The champ heads up the ramp but Ryback is waiting on him. Back in and the AA gets the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.

Rating: B-. It’s Cena vs. Punk with more than five minutes. Were you expecting anything bad? They’re making it seem like Punk has no chance in the triple threat, which is a pretty clear indicator that he’s going to retain the belt so he can lose the title to Rock at the Rumble, because WWE actually thinks we’ll buy Punk as having a chance.

Ryback and Cena both grab the title post match while Punk looks like he’s about to cry in the background.

Overall Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness Raw sucks anymore. There’s some stuff on here that’s worth checking out, but at the end of the day the first forty minutes are just SO FREAKING DULL that it kills anything good that could come out of the show later on. This PPV is so completely backwards and the show proves it. We sat through Foley vs. Punk and Cena vs. Ziggler here, but neither of those matches are happening on Sunday. They might have an idea where they want to wind up, but it’s clear they have no idea how they plan to get there.

Results

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton – Enziguri to Kingston

Big Show b. William Regal – Chokeslam

Kaitlyn b. Layla – Reverse DDT

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd b. Prime Time Players/Primo/Epico – 450 to Young

R-Truth b. Tensai – Little Jimmy

Ryback b. Brad Maddox – Shell Shock

Kane/Miz b. Rhodes Scholars – Chokeslam to Rhodes

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

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Turning Point 2012
Date: November 11, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

This is the usually worthless PPV after Bound For Glory where we mostly have rematches from the biggest show of the year. You know, like Backlash before Vince decided that we MUST have a big show every month. The main event here is Hardy vs. Aries II in a ladder match which should be awesome. The other match is a three way for the #1 contendership between Styles, Storm and Roode, with the loser of the fall getting no shot until BFG 13. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Taz in the ring to open the show. He talks about how glad he is to work for a company that is trying to help Hurricane Sandy, so he brings out Buckethead (a radio DJ) and Bully Ray. They’re selling those Make An Impact t-shirts with the proceeds going to the Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy relief. Also they’re trying to break a world record for most people texting on a PPV with all of them texting to a number which will donate $10 to the relief effort. At least the Buckethead guy knows how to talk so this isn’t horrible. This ate up over five minutes but it’s a charity thing so it’s really hard to complain.

Now we get the opening video which is about the two aforementioned main events.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

No DQ because Magnus hit Joe with a wrench or something recently. Joe is defending in case you haven’t read all of my reviews as you should have. They fire off forearms to start with the champ taking over as we head to the floor. Magnus gets in some shots so Joe punches him in the face. After sending Magnus into the steps, Joe drops a knee for two back in the ring.

A running knee to the face gets two for the champ but Magnus hits him with a clothesline to take over. Joe is like screw that and kicks Magnus in the head in the corner, knocking him to the floor. Magnus grabs a chair (No DQ remember) and pelts it at Joe before the Samoan can charge. Back in and Joe shrugs off all the offense again and hits the snap powerslam for two. There’s an STF from Joe but Magnus makes a rope quickly.

The champ gets put in a pair of armbars but he easily escapes and hits an enziguri to take over again. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but Magnus knocks him down and hits the top rope elbow for two. A Michinoku Driver puts Joe down and another top rope elbow gets two. I like that mentality: it’s an impact move, so why not do it again and again until it works? Back up and Magnus charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Joe loads up a dive but this time dives over the top to avoid the chair. Back in and the MuscleBuster sets up the Clutch to retain the title at 12:29.

Rating: C+. Solid opener here with both guys looking good. At the end of the day though, it’s hard to buy Magnus as a legit threat to the title. This was a better match than BFG at least, but having it be No DQ made no real difference at all other than the chair shot, which could have been done by a few other things. Solid opener though.

Eric Young returns and says that a shark ate his phone. Apparently Aquaman got him cable on the bottom of the floor and he saw what happened. ODB says it’s cool and they kiss.

ODB/Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz/Tara

The girls start but Tara tags out before any contact. Off to Jesse who gets rolled up and punched a few times. Off to Eric who does some basic stuff and hits a dropkick for two. Back to ODB for a Bronco Buster on Jesse, so Eric gets in the corner because he wants one of his own. Tara breaks it up and Jesse jumps Eric to take over. Jesse pounds away a bit and sweet goodness he just isn’t that good.

The heels hit a double Russian legsweep for two and it’s off to a chinlock by Jesse. Eric fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. ODB is like screw it and pulls Eric over to his corner for the tag. Off to ODB who cleans house and hits The Bam on Tara for no cover. After a quick cheap shot from Jesse does nothing of note, ODB slams Jesse down and a top rope elbow from Eric gets the pin on 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was just a long Impact match. ODB and Eric have LONG outlived their shelf life at this point but at least they’re not on TV as much as they used to be, which helps a bit. Jesse is a guy who is a good heel because he’s annoying, but there’s NOTHING to him as far as wrestling goes.

We recap the Sting attack from Thursday.

James Storm talks about how tonight is going to be a Turning Point for someone. He’ll do anything to win.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Joey Ryan

For the life of me I still don’t get why Morgan is with Ryan. They actually show the video from Impact where Hogan banned Morgan from ringside. They can’t have a video about the match but we can see a clip of Hogan saying Morgan can’t be here which takes 40 seconds to get through? Ryan says Hogan is underestimating him and disrespecting him so he’s going to make the X-Division X-Rated.

Joey stalls to start as the first minute or so is a feeling out process. Van Dam takes over and hits a spin kick before putting Joey in the Tree of Woe. After a basement dropkick, it’s a monkey flip to send Ryan flying. Van Dam goes up but gets shoved off the top and out onto the barricade. A suicide dive keeps Rob down as this Keneley guy is really getting annoying. His voice isn’t serious enough and the constant chattering style doesn’t work.

A tornado DDT gets two for Joey as does the Mustache Ride (middle rope neckbreaker). Rob easily gets up and kicks Joey down to take over. Rolling Thunder and the standing moonsault get two each, as does a rollup for Joey. The stepover kick puts Ryan down and the Five Star retains the title at 7:45.

Rating: C-. Ryan is another guy that is far better on the mic and in the character department than he is in the ring. He’s got skill in the ring though and can do fine in a match like this one, which makes him a much better option than Godderz at this point. Granted it helps that he’s a wrestler and not a reality star that wrestles as well.

Morgan kicks Van Dam’s head off on the stage.

Joseph Park thanks Sting for the opportunity he’s getting a chance to fight Aces and 8’s tonight because of Sting.

We recap Park’s (or Parks if you listen to Hogan) issues with Aces and 8’s, which would be kidnapping and violent assault.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Post match Doc gets the hammer but Bully Ray makes the save.

Roode says that tonight he’ll prove that he’s the better man.

We recap the tag title match. Chavo and Hernandez won the titles in a threeway and tonight is the solo rematch.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Chavo and SuperMex are defending. Daniels vs. Chavo gets us going with a feeling out process. Guerrero hits a quick hiptoss but Kaz jumps him from behind and the challengers double team to take over. SuperMex is like SCREW THAT IN SPANISH and hits a double clothesline to take over. A backbreaker puts Daniels down but the Frog Splash from Chavo misses to give the challengers control again.

Kaz and Daniels take turns working on Chavo’s ribs with Daniels hitting a middle rope kick down onto the stomach. A dropkick sends Chavo to the floor and it’s time for whatever the gangham style dance is. I have no idea what that is, nor do I want to know. In a cool move, Chavo sunset flips Kaz with the latter making a blind tag. As Chavo has Kaz down, Kaz grabs Chavo’s head so Daniels can get in a kick to keep control. Cool sequence.

Kaz comes back in and squeezes on the ribs a bit more before sending Chavo into the corner. Why are TNA buckles so much bigger than WWE’s? Speaking of turnbuckles, Chavo climbs up a few of them for a tornado DDT and brings in SuperMex who cleans house. A splash in the corner gets two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Border Toss. Two shots in the corner put Hernandez down but he comes back with a double springboard clothesline. A backbreaker puts Daniels on the floor and a big shoulder sends Kaz down as well.

The big dive by Hernandez is broken up by a Daniels Kick and the High/Low gets two. Hernandez hits a double suplex and Chavo dropkicks them both down with a single dropkick. Kaz takes two of the Three Amigos and Daniels takes all three. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash with an enziguri so Hernandez throws Kazarian to the floor. STO puts Hernandez down and Daniels loads up a superplex on Guerrero, only to have Hernandez pull him into a Doomsday Device position. Chavo hits a cross body to take out Daniels and retain the titles at 13:23.

Rating: B-. Good match here but nothing great. The problem for the tag division right now is you only have these four guys and that’s about it. Even when Angle and AJ were teaming together it wasn’t anything close to a full on division. They’re running the risk of these matches being run into the ground, which is the worst thing they could possibly do. This was still good, but it’s a step below what they’ve done before.

AJ says it’s been a rough year for him with a lot of distractions that he didn’t want or need. It’s been almost three years since he’s been world champion, which is all he needs to get past Roode and Storm.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. AJ Styles

The winner gets the shot at Final Resolution and the person who gets pinned or submits doesn’t get a shot until BFG 13 at the earliest. I love that shot of looking down on Roode from the corner. It looks awesome. AJ immediately kicks Roode in the head and it’s one on one with Styles vs. Storm. After a few moments of feeling out, Storm hooks the rope to avoid the drop down/kick, but Roode pulls James to the floor. They slug it out a bit, but here’s Styles to dive on both of them in a classic AJ move.

It’s AJ vs. Roode in the ring now with the fans chanting for Roode. A knee drop gets two for Styles as Storm makes the save. Roode sends AJ to the floor but Styles guillotines Storm from the floor to slow things down again. Back in and Roode sends Styles right back to the floor again. The announcers speculate that AJ is off his game tonight. Beer Money explodes for the first time since…..last month? The Cowboy gets two off a neckbreaker and an enziguri puts Roode down.

AJ is back in now as this is really fast paced so far. Roode rolls to the floor and AJ fires off kicks to the leg of Storm. Off to a Figure Four but Styles lets it go to knock Roode down. AJ hits a knee crusher and it’s off to the Indian Deathlock with a chinlock. That move always looks freaky. Roode gets knocked to the floor again as Storm counters the Clash into an Alabama Slam for two.

Roode comes back in and breaks up the Eye of the Storm, followed by hitting a DDT on Storm for two. Roode takes his time and beats on both guys, sending AJ to the floor and hitting the Hennig neck snap for two on Storm. On the floor, AJ gets sent HARD into the steps knee first. Back in, Storm hits a Codebreaker to break Roode’s momentum but AJ breaks up the Last Call.

Storm is knocked to the floor so AJ pounds on Roode in the corner. A tornado DDT (that’s a popular move tonight) is shoved off by Roode and Beer Money reunited for a few seconds for a double suplex on Styles. They tease the Beer Money pose but both guys jump each other with Storm taking over. Roode goes up top but AJ jumps up to rana him down. The backflip into a reverse DDT gets two on Storm and everyone is down.

A Blockbuster from Roode gets two on Storm but Styles hits the Pele to put Roode down. Storm goes to the floor as AJ misses the springboard 450. A spear by Roode gets two on Styles and there’s the Crossface by Roode. That’s easily countered and Roode hits a Rock Bottom to the shock of the announcers for two. The spinebuster looks to set up the fisherman’s suplex, but Storm comes back in and hits a Backstabber on Bobby and the Last Call on AJ for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Considering this was the second biggest match of the PPV, the stakes of the match and the talent in there, this was kind of disappointing. It came off like any other triple threat, which is the problem with TNA running them all the time, especially for title shots. The loser not getting a shot was a nice touch, but the match itself didn’t work all that well for me.

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D-Von talks about how his turning point was at Bound For Glory when he was revealed as part of Aces and 8’s, which was a group of men that care about him. Angle was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was just business.

We recap Angle vs. D-Von. D-Von was revealed as the first member of the team and then one night on Impact, Aces and 8’s beat up Angle as a show of power. Tonight is the revenge match.

D-Von vs. Kurt Angle

D-Von is here alone. We stall for a good while before the bell as D-Von won’t get in the ring to fight Angle, which is probably a good idea. After wasting about two minutes, D-Von gets in and uses his wide array of punches to take over. D-Von hits his shoulder block to put Kurt down but Angle suplexes D-Von in return. The momentum doesn’t really build though as Kurt misses a charge into the post and we head to the floor.

That goes nowhere so we head back in for the D-Von spinning back elbow for two. Off to a chinlock as this is exactly what you would expect so far: D-Von is using really basic stuff because that’s about all he’s good at on his own. When he’s facing Kurt Angle, that’s hard to buy as an effective offense. Taz goes into a way too long explanation of how D-Von and Doc wear the same belt but we can’t see it because D-Von’s shirt is out.

Anyway, Angle hits a missile dropkick and a flying forearm to put D-Von down followed by a belly to belly for two. The Angle Slam is escaped and D-Von clotheslines Angle down. D-Von goes up for the swan dive but Kurt runs up the ropes and hits a belly to belly superplex off the top for two. The ankle lock goes on but D-Von kicks him away and hits a Rock Bottom for two. They botch a powerbomb counter and Kurt rolls some Germans for two.

Angle goes to the corner for what would have been a moonsault that Rey Mysterio in his prime would have had issues hitting. D-Von powerbombs him out of the corner to prevent Kurt from having to try it but it only gets two. D-Von is limping around badly because of the ankle lock so at least the selling is good. The swan dive misses but the Angle Slam only gets two. Seriously? D-Von gets to kick out of the Slam? Aces and 8’s surround the ring and D-Von spears Angle down for two. Not that it matters as the ankle lock gets the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s D-Von vs. Kurt Angle. Seriously that should up everything you should need to know about this match. There is no way on earth you can validate D-Von as a realistic threat to Kurt Angle. D-Von does not have the skills to hang in a nearly fifteen minute match with Kurt Angle and that’s all there is to it. That makes the match very dull and shows the need for a main event level guy in Aces and 8’s.

Angle immediately bails to the floor as the bikers hit the ring. Doc yells at Kurt that he’s next.

AJ has nothing to say and leaves.

Austin Aries says tonight is the final chapter in the Jeff Hardy Saga and it ends in tragedy. Tonight Aries is going to shove the stacked deck down everyone’s throats because Jeff isn’t going to have his fans in the ring to help him tonight. Solid angry promo here.

Main event recap. Hardy won the BFG Series and beat Aries for the title last month. Aries turned heel before the match because he hated the way the crowd responded to Hardy but not him. Tonight’s rematch is a ladder match.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Both Hardy’s vanity belt and the regular world title are above the ring. Jeff is listed at 234lbs in the Big Match Intros after being listed at 215 on the tale of the tape graphics. If Jeff is 234, I’ve got a chance at being Miss America this year. Aries wisely goes to the floor and reaches for a ladder but Hardy goes out to stop him. Why do that? You’ve got the high ground and you have to get a ladder anyway.

Aries pounds away in the ring and beats on Hardy in the corner before the ladder is in the ring yet. Aries gets knocked to the floor where there’s a ladder laying on the ring. Hardy dives onto Aries and might have hit his knee on the ladder on the way down. Aries gets sent into the steps and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade. Jeff slides in a ladder but Aries literally climbs over Jeff to stop him. Something like a Russian legsweep off the ladder by Aries puts both guys and the ladder down.

The ladder is set up like a bridge between the ring and the barricade and it’s Jeff being placed on it by the challenger. A slingshot elbow onto Jeff onto Hardy has Aries in control, as does a knee drop. Aries goes up the ladder in the ring but Jeff miraculously pops up and makes the save. Jeff stands the ladder upside down and they fight over a suplex onto the bars that hold the ladder up. That goes nowhere for either guy so Hardy tries a cross body which hits ladder. Aries slingshots down onto the ladder to crush Hardy even more.

Austin pulls in another ladder as the first one fell to the floor. Hardy falls with it so Aries hits the suicide dive to send Jeff into the barricade. In a cool spot, Aries ties Jeff in the ladder and puts the steps on top of the ladder to hold Jeff in place. As Aries goes up the ladder, Jeff crawls under the ring and gets in on the other side and climbs the ladder. Aries shoves the ladder out and Jeff lands on his head and shoulder. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict.

Naturally he’s ok enough to climb up with Aries at the same time but the ladder is too wobbly for Aries to climb. By that I mean there was no reason for him to not grab the belts so they had to improvise. Aries dropkicks Jeff into the ladder in the corner but Hardy escapes the brainbuster and armdrags Aries into the ladder. Hardy rides the ladder down out of the corner so he can splash Aries in a cool spot.

Jeff gets another ladder to climb but Aries dropkicks the ladder out again. Both guys are down now with Hardy looking a bit dead. The old ladder is on the corner so Aries dropkicks it into Jeff in the corner. There’s the brainbuster and Jeff is thrown to the floor. There’s a ladder on the corner again and Aries goes climbing. They slug it out on top of the ladder with Hardy hitting a cutter off the top in a cool spot. There’s a Swanton and Aries is out on the floor.

Hardy goes after the belts….and they rise higher into the air. Oh it’s not exactly the Higher Power but rather Aries has the controls for the belts on the floor. Jeff goes out onto the floor and pulls out like the fourth ladder. This is the big red one and it’s a double climb. They brawl on the top but they fall down onto the ladder on the corner. Both guys stand up on top of it and Jeff hits the Twist of Fate, sending Aries into the ladder and out to the floor. Hardy goes up and takes the belts down to retain. No music for some reason at first. Oh there it is.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what you would expect. I never quite bought that Aries had a chance at winning this, but sometimes that’s fine. The idea here is to have two small guys do a bunch of jumps and ladder spots and that’s what we got. It’s nice to see things like that every once in awhile, with no shock or twist. Just getting what you expect and that’s totally fine.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a bit less than I was expecting but it wasn’t bad at all. The problem with a lot of the matches here is asking “is that it?” A lot of the matches don’t really measure up with what you would expect from them, especially the three way. Still though, it’s a good enough first PPV after BFG and it was almost exactly what you would expect here. Decent enough show but nothing great aside from a solid main event.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus – Koquina Clutch

Eric Young/ODB b. Jesse Godderz/Tara – Top Rope Elbow to Godderz

Rob Van Dam b. Joey Ryan – Five Star Frog Splash

Doc b. Joseph Park – Chokeslam

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Top Rope Cross Body to Daniels

James Storm b. AJ Styles and Bobby Roode – Last Call to Styles

Kurt Angle b. D-Von – Ankle Lock

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries – Hardy pulled down both belts

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