This is what selling TNA to a fan might sound like right about now.Dude you should totally watch Impact Wrestling.  They have this guy named AJ Styles who does the most awesome flips and dives and has the best matches in the world.

Potential fan: That sounds cool.  Which one is he?

Oh well actually he left after turning down money and a car and implied sex with a not terrible looking woman.  But he’s champion and the best in the world!

Potential fan: But I can’t see him?

You might be able to if you don’t mind listening to Spanish or Japanese commentary.

Potential fan: HUH?

Never mind.  Oh I know you’ll love this: TNA has this thing called the X Division which has no limits on it at all.  Everybody is all about leaving it all in the ring and giving everything they have to be champion.  They fly around and have to crawl across ropes to pull down a title belt.

Potential fan: Now that has to be cool.  When are they on?

Actually scratch that since they weren’t on TV this week because Impact needed more time to spend on the not bad looking older woman.  Wait I almost forgot the best part!  There’s this team called Aces and 8’s and they’re just like Sons of Anarchy and they ride on motorcycles and beat up everyone!

Potential TNA fan: I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy.

Uh……Oh there’s this guy there named EC3 who is just like Robert Griffith III.

Potential TNA fan: He’s my favorite player on my favorite team.  Ok so I need to look for the black guy named EC3.  He has to be cool.

Actually he’s white.

Potential TNA fan: But he’s more athletic than everyone else right?

…..not especially.

Potential TNA fan: He represents Washington DC though?

If the DC stands for Directly from Cleveland he does!

Potential TNA fan: Nicest guy in the company?

Actually he looks to be one of the new top heels.  He’s the nephew of the older lady who isn’t bad looking.

Potential TNA fan: …..is he recovering from knee surgery?

YES!  I can indeed assure you that he had his knee operated on last year and is at least mostly back to full strength!

Potential TNA fan: So to recap, you want me to watch a show where to see the best guy in the world I need to watch other companies, I should be a fan of Sons of Anarchy, the high flying dudes weren’t even on last week, the show is apparently dominated by a woman that isn’t that bad looking and there’s a guy who is supposed to be like RG3 because he’s the polar opposite of him?

……did I mention Sting is still there and Hulk Hogan might come back?  And Sting can almost bend over still!

The worst part: this isn’t meant as a parody.

ECW on TNN
Date: April 7, 2000
Location: Siegel Center, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re getting closer and closer to Hardcore Heaven and while we don’t have anything announced yet, the main ideas are clearly there. The Network is a good idea and Cyrus is a great mouthpiece for the group. We’re just waiting on Heyman to show up to stand up for ECW which will blow the roof off the place. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey are in the ring for the opening and the limerick is almost entirely censored. Joey brings out Raven and Francine for the opening chat. He asks Raven why the bounty was put on Dreamer’s head but Raven says Joey is putting too much stock in the internet and dirt sheets because he’s innocent. Joey asks about Da Baldies saying Raven put the bounty on Dreamer’s head. Francine says she’s a baldie herself but she can’t show Joey where on TV. She also knows Raven didn’t put the bounty on Dreamer so Joey accuses her of doing it, earning a slap in the face.

Cue Da Baldies themselves to say that Raven did issue the bounty and accuse Raven of smelling of fear. Raven: “What you smell is your mom and that’s because I only had $10 on me.” You know that earns a beating for Bird Boy, presumably setting up a tag match of some sort later tonight.

The Sinister Minister recaps what we just saw, including telling us that Raven tells the truth even when he lies. The camera zooms out to show him controlling a marionette Mikey Whipwreck.

Opening sequence.

We go to the announcers so they can say we’re going to a break.

Steve Corino vs. Kid Kash

Corino, now in regular trunks instead of his singlet, grabs a hammerlock to start. Kash comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick before clotheslining Corino out to the floor. A HUGE corkscrew plancha takes Corino and Victory out as Joel regales us with stories of his days as a luchador. Back in and Kash chops away but charges into an elbow in the corner. Corino counters a backflip into a powerbomb for two and Jack Victory gets in a cheap shot to Kash’s jaw.

They head outside with the Kid being whipped into the barricade so Corino can gloat a lot. Back in and a great looking clothesline puts Kash down and a Dusty Rhodes elbow gets two. Kash takes Victory out with a baseball slide and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to take Corino down. Victory comes in but gets dropkicked into the referee. Kash hits the Moneymaker (lifting Pedigree) but Rhyno comes in to Gore Kash, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: C+. Best ECW match in MONTHS. This is proof that ECW has the kind of guys that can put on an entertaining match without the hardcore nonsense, which makes that kind of stuff all the more annoying. This was a nice, back and forth match with two different styles working well off each other. See why that’s a good idea?

Big Sal says Guido will win the TV Title next week. Cyrus comes in and tells Guido the TV Title match will be a three way dance with Tajiri thrown in. The implication is Tajiri will lay down after Crazy is eliminated. Cyrus loves the idea of a young Italian champion. “It’ll be like Bruno in ’63.”

Cyrus pitches the idea of the three way dance to Tajiri, saying that Tajiri will win the title. “Imagine the young Japanese girl demographic!”

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Super Crazy

Mikey grabs a headlock to start as Joel talks about Crazy only having two channels on his TV when he was younger. Crazy escapes the Whippersnapper (Stunner) and a headscissors sends Mikey to the outside. A top rope Asai moonsault misses and a superkick puts Crazy down. Mikey legsweeps Crazy into the barricade and drops him face first onto the same barricade for good measure. Back in and Mikey puts on an Indian deathlock of all things but lets Crazy go, allowing him to hit a middle rope moonsault for two.

Ten punches in the corner have Whipwreck in trouble but he forearms the champion down and drops a middle rope legdrop for two of his own. Joel: “How can that be a guillotine legdrop? Guillotines are French and Crazy is Mexican. YOU DON’T SEE HIM EATING A CROISSANT!” Mikey loads up a moonsault but gets powerbombed down, followed by a top rope Lionsault to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was your usual spotfest but again: WE DON’T NEED HARDCORE STUFF! This has been such a refreshing episode of the show with now two solid matches lacking the violent nonsense. Wins like these make Crazy look more credible as he came from behind and pinned a former world champion clean. Nothing wrong with that.

Post match Guido runs in to jump Crazy to set up their match next week. Tajiri comes in to knock out both guys.

Tommy Dreamer thinks the bounty is a joke and offers to double the bounty if anyone can actually get it done. He knows Raven did this and says if Raven can finally get off the pills, he’ll realize that it’s not Dreamer or his dad that did all this but Raven himself. There is no Raven without Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Angel

Joel and Joey spend the entrances accusing each other of putting the bounty on Dreamer. Joey says he’s known Dreamer too long and Joel’s defense is he’s too cheap. Tommy says he needs some help so here’s Sandman to make it 3-1. Joel: “But is he sober enough to get to the ring?”

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Da Baldies

Dreamer busts out the barbed wire before we go to a break. Back with the brawl already underway and a replay of various violence from the break.

Grimes is slammed off the top, crotch first onto the barbed wire. Dreamer brings in a ladder and wraps the barbed wire around his arm for an elbow onto Grimes onto the ladder but only the ladder gets hit. Sandman is whipped into the ladder and Grimes pounds away with the kendo stick. DeVito talks trash on the mic and here’s Raven to make it 3-3. House is cleaned and there’s the Even Flow to DeVito for the pin. Not enough to rate but more Dreamer/Raven shenanigans makes my head hurt.

Dreamer and Raven stare each other down but here’s Mike Awesome to interrupt. He understands that these two have a problem with each other but it’s not for why they should. Awesome knows Raven didn’t put the hit out on Dreamer. Judge Jeff Jones grabs the mic and says he did it himself, cuing Awesome to take out Raven and Dreamer. There’s one epic heel alliance out of the way. Both guys are put through a table by Awesome.

Post hotline ad, Judge Jones talks about watching territory tapes and saw a lot of bounties. In short, he put one on Tommy because he thought it would be fun. Seriously, that’s it. Awesome grabs Jones and demands his payoff for taking out Dreamer, plus a bonus for taking out Raven.

Cyrus sucks up to the Impact Players and says they have the hottest manager in the business. Dawn Marie and Jason argue over who he meant.

Jazz rants about Dawn Marie for no apparent reason.

RVD is back next week and Rhyno promises to Gore him before slamming his own head into a wall several times.

Overall Rating: C. This show had the perfect balance to the hardcore violent stuff, decent wrestling, and storytelling that this show has been desperately lacking in recent weeks. I actually liked this and wouldn’t mind seeing more of it which might be a first. That being said, the bounty explanation was just stupid and felt like they threw it in there because they didn’t have another answer. However, it doesn’t really matter because something very big is about to happen which will change everything in ECW. Good stuff this week.

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Thunder
Date: June 4, 1998
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone

After Monday we have a major development in the form of Sting joining the Wolfpack as pretty much everyone figured he would. It really doesn’t change anything as WCW is just standing on the sidelines while the NWO civil war continues. Hopefully we get some of the Great American Bash card filled in tonight as the show is in ten days. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of Sting joining the Wolfpack from Monday.

The announcers talk about the jump a bit.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match #5 in the best of seven series for a TV Title shot at the Great American Bash with Benoit leading 3-1. They trade hammerlocks to start until Booker elbows him in the back to take over. A high side kick is good for two and the ax kick gets the same for Booker. Mr. T. stomps away in the corner but he whips Benoit in, only to be caught in the rolling Germans to give Benoit control.

A big back elbow to the face puts Booker down again and the Swan Dive connects for two. Stevie Ray is back at ringside to cheer his brother on. Benoit can’t get the Crossface and gets taken down by a spinwheel kick to the face. Booker hits a spinebuster and spins up, only to have his head taken off by a hard clothesline. Benoit makes the mistake of jawing with Stevie though and turns into the missile dropkick to close the gap to 3-2.

Rating: C+. As usual with this series, the matches are entertaining but they’re running out of new things to do. It also doesn’t help that with the series at 3-1, the endings to the next two matches are pretty obvious. On the other hand though, these have been by far the best matches on the shows almost every single night so they’re hardly a bad thing.

Here’s Giant with both tag belts and something to say. He doesn’t mind Sting joining the Wolfpack but thinks black and white would have looked better. However, he can’t live with being bodyslammed on national television like Sting did to him three days ago. Giant feels he should be able to pick a partner to be the tag team champions so here’s Brian Adams, apparently the new partner. Adams demands praise and says they won’t duck anyone as champions. Giant issues a challenge to Luger and anyone he can find to a tag title match tonight. I still want to know what Adams has on WCW to get this push.

Reese vs. Van Hammer

Reese shoves Hammer into the corner but Hammer shoves right back to frustrate the bigger man. Hammer slugs him into the corner but Reese comes back by just lifting Hammer into the air and dropping him down to the mat. A vertical suplex gets two on Hammer and for the first time ever, Lee Marshall has an interesting idea: could Lodi’s nonsensical signs be codes from Raven for what he wants the Flock to do? Hammer clotheslines Reese down but Horace blasts him in the back of the head, giving Reese the pin via a chokebomb.

Rating: D. Just a battle of the big men here as the Flock continues to spin its wheels. Reese was actually bigger than the Giant but is a great example of size not making a great wrestler. He’s not bad but there’s nothing more to him other than his size and that’s why he never went anywhere.

Post match the Flock beats down Hammer until Juventud Guerrera makes the save. He clears the ring until there’s just Reese left. Hammer gets Juvy out of the ring before he gets squashed like a grape.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Alex Wright

Before the match Eddie tells Chavo that Grandma has said to take time off and cool down, so Chavo needs to leave for a few months. Alex jumps Eddie to start but here’s crazy Chavo a few seconds in. Wright immediately throws him to the floor but the referee calls for the bell anyway. The match was maybe 30 seconds.

Chavo stalks Eddie to the back and Wright dances a bit.

Here’s Luger with something to say. Apparently there’s no point to the survey because this is clearly a Wolfpack town (based on how quiet the fans are I’d hate to see them in enemy territory). Luger has been named head of recruiting for the Wolfpack after all his success with Sting. The challenge is accepted for tonight and Luger names DDP as his partner, saying he has a Wolfpack shirt for Page too.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Psychosis

Psychosis tries to slide between Finlay’s legs but accidentally dropkicks him in the knee in a painful looking botch. Finlay comes right back with some hard forearms to the back as the match immediately slows down. Psychosis is dropped throat first on the top rope and the fans are already chanting boring because the idea of a slow paced match doesn’t work for them. We hit a LONG chinlock and now the chants are justified. Psychosis finally fights up and tries to get some offense going, including a top rope Frankensteiner for two. Not that it matters though as Finlay picks him up and tombstones him to retain.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t as bad as the fans thought it was, but it still wasn’t anything really worth seeing. The chinlock hurt it a lot and cutting this down by a minute or so would have helped a lot. Finlay probably won’t hold the title much longer as I can’t imagine the winner of the series not taking the title from him.

Clips of Sting being recruited by and joining the Wolfpack on Monday.

Glacier vs. Saturn

Glacier does his full entrance but as he’s warming up, Saturn comes in behind him and hits a sick German suplex for two. Ice boy bails to the floor but Saturn hits a great looking plancha to take him down again. Back in and Glacier gets a boot up in the corner followed by some rapid kicks to the stomach. Saturn crotches him on the top and hits a middle rope http://onhealthy.net/product-category/mens-health/ suplex, meaning he was in the middle of the rope rather than the corner. A Lodi distraction lets Saturn superkick Glacier down but the referee goes down in the process. Cue Kanyon dressed as a referee with a Downward Spiral to Saturn. Glacier hits the superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was mainly advancing the story between Kanyon and Saturn, which is further proof that Glacier’s whining about kicks isn’t needed at all. Saturn looked good with his high impact offense and Kanyon was an offensive genius so he was his usual entertaining self. Still though, Glacier gets on nerves as always.

Here’s Hennig to ask the fans if they like Goldberg. Obviously they do, but surprisingly enough they seem pleased with the idea of Curt beating him up at the PPV. Unfortunately Curt’s knee won’t be healed by then so Konnan will be getting Hennig’s US Title shot, as long as Konnan gives Curt the first shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Silver King

Dean easily takes him down to the mat in a headlock before shifting over to another variation of one. Silver King fights up and chops away, only to get caught in a suplex. Dean takes him to the corner but here’s Jericho with a book. He rings the bell and apparently that’s enough to throw the match out. Those referees are trigger happy tonight.

Jericho says this is an NWA rule book from 1934 that he found in the Library of Congress. Apparently the Strangler Lewis Rule states that the champion can refuse to face anyone and since Jericho never agreed to wrestle Dean, JJ needs to come down here right now and vacate the title. When that fails completely, Jericho tells Dean to stop dishonoring his dead pappy and give him the belt right now. The belt goes upside Jericho’s head, sending him to the floor, swearing vengeance.

Raven vs. Disco Inferno

Raven charges right into the corner to stomp Disco down before raking his face. Disco gets an elbow up in the corner before choking Raven with wrist tape. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Inferno but Raven easily sends him to the floor. Disco is sent into the steps and Raven sends both him and a chair back into the ring. Disco blocks a hiptoss and sends Raven face first into the chair before stomping a mudhole in the corner. Raven comes right back with the drop toehold into the chair and the Even Flow ends this easily.

Post match Raven calls out Kanyon for a one on one showdown, even laying down on his back to give Kanyon an advantage.

Before the next match, Tony acknowledges the passing of Junkyard Dog the previous Tuesday. Glad they worked that in after 90 minutes.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

The announcers aren’t sure if Goldberg can use his power on someone like Morrus, because WCW announcers have the memories of banana slugs. Morrus jumps Goldberg to start but the champion pulls in Barbarian to make himself break a sweat. Jimmy Hart is thrown at both guys and a double spear puts them down. Barbarian and Morrus both get Jackhammers to make Goldberg 95-0.

Tag Titles: Giant/Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger/Diamond Dallas Page

We’re not sure if Page is going to accept the offer to join Luger or not but here he is with limited drama, albeit to his own music in a separate entrance from Luger. Page doesn’t have taped up ribs anymore. Heenan brings up a good point: neither of these teams have ever teamed together or at least not in a very long time yet they’re fighting for the tag titles. Tenay uses this as an opportunity to talk about the tag match at Great American Bash because why would a title match here and now be more important than a non-title match ten days from now?

Luger shoves Adams into the ropes to start and clotheslines him down before tagging in Page for a big reaction. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Page and it’s back to the arm. Back to Luger for a hiptoss as Tony says he doesn’t think Page would have come out here if a member of the Wolfpack had come out here, because apparently Tony doesn’t remember Luger is in the group. Luger misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Giant to stand on his chest.

A Russian legsweep puts Luger down again and it’s back to Adams for a rake to the eyes and a legdrop for two. Back to Giant to throw Luger around with ease and plant him with a slam. Adams comes back in with a bearhug and a backbreaker before bringing Giant in again. The big man misses an elbow drop and it’s back to DDP via the hot tag. Page cleans house but Giant breaks up a Diamond Cutter attempt on Adams. Sting comes out to distract Giant, allowing Page to Diamond Cut Adams for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t terrible as they worked a basic formula and didn’t have the insanity that most WCW matches have. Luger and Page worked well enough together out there and Giant was his usual self. Adams was fine as a generic power guy which is all he ever should have been. Not bad here.

Not that it matters though as JJ calls in and says the title change doesn’t count because Giant had no authority to make Adams his partner. Therefore at the Bash, it’s Giant vs. Sting with the winner getting both belts and the right to pick his new championship partner.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the best Thunder they’ve had in months. The lack of main event guys until the last match gave everyone else a chance to shine and we actually got storyline development on top of the watchable matches. On top of that, every match seemed to have a purpose, with an insane FOUR title matches on the B show. Good stuff here actually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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More commonly known as Battleground II.Starting with the preshow match as usual, I’ll take and hope for Langston to take the title.  Axel has done nothing with it because WWE has decided to have him job to Punk and R-Truth every few weeks.  Langston needs to take it and not lose a match at all until say February.

Orton vs. Bryan should FINALLY end the feud and I think they go with Randy.  I don’t think Shawn turns heel, but I think somehow Big Show knocks Bryan out by mistake and Shawn has to live up to his word by counting the pin on Bryan to end the show.

Punk has to win the match and end the feud.  This is another one where the promos are still good, but there’s just nowhere else for the story to go.  Punk somehow incapacitates Ryback by locking him out of the Cell or handcuffing him to the wall and destroying Heyman once and for all.

I think Cena takes the title but there’s no cash in.  Cena winning the belt is the best course of action as it gives the title a breath of life and keeps Cena away from the main story.  Sandow being absent from TV this week makes me think they hope we forget about him though, because WWE thinks people forget a character in a week.

Brie beats AJ, the fans don’t react at all for her big moment, meaning it’s time to push her in the main event scene with Bryan and Cena.

I hope the Usos take the belts.  They’re WAY overdue for a title reign, but Goldust and Cody are on fire right now.  I’d be fine either way but I hope the twins take it.

Los Matadores over the Real Americans because it makes sense to job a former world champion and a guy who should be a world champion for the sake of pushing a mascot.

Overall the show doesn’t feel very interesting but it does feel like the end for this way too long cycle.  The extra PPV earlier in the month really dragged things down and made the stories even longer.  A lot of the stories just need to end before they drag on far too long.  Things can finally change up for a set of two month programs before we hit the Rumble and the push for Wrestlemania.  The show will be better than Battleground but won’t light the world on fire.

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: October 25, 2013
Location: Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re finally at the last show before the Cell PPV which technically has been built up for about two months now, depending on how you look at it. The main story coming out of Monday is that Big Show is indeed still around despite being in a bunch of lawsuits both for and against him which is riveting television if I’ve ever heard of it. This company is in desperate need of a new top story but I wouldn’t look for that to change anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the HHH/Big Show stuff from Raw including the Bryan vs. Orton contract signing.

We open with Cole in the ring for a sitdown interview with HHH. Hasn’t he had two or three of these already recently? Cole asks HHH about Big Show’s actions on Monday which HHH say caused six technical employees to be fired. There’s yet another lawsuit against Big Show on charges not important enough to specify so HHH can’t comment. Big Show is however fired, period. Cole asks about Big Show showing up either Sunday or tonight but HHH says he can’t comment.

Cole gives up on the point and asks about Cena vs. Del Rio with HHH saying he can’t wait for Cena’s return. He knows what it’s like to come back from a devastating injury and he can’t wait to see Cena come back. That’s enough Cena talk so Cole asks about the other world title, drawing a YES chant. When asked about the Shawn Michaels element, HHH says he’s thrilled because Shawn is indeed his friend and will make sure the job gets done. Shawn will do the right thing at the end of the day so HHH isn’t worried. Cole asks what the right thing is but here’s Bryan before he can answer.

Cole heads to the floor as Bryan asks HHH the same question: what is the right thing? Bryan thinks it’s to let himself and Orton settle everything once and for all. You lock both of them in the Cell and no one gets out until there’s a winner. Bryan says Shawn may be HHH’s best friend but he’s also his own man, so he’ll do what’s best for business. When everything is fair and even, Bryan is going to prove HHH wrong. A loud YES chant takes us out.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Miz is on commentary. We get the full Siva Tao from the Usos which as usual gets a huge response. Miz sums up Bray’s look quite well: “He looks like Charles Manson fell asleep at a Jimmy Buffet concert.” Jimmy avoids a shot from the back by Harper but gets run over by Rowan just after the bell. A big boot from Harper puts him down as well and a Michinoku Driver of all things gets two.

Jimmy crawls over to make the tag to Jey and Harper is immediately caught in a Samoan drop. Everything breaks down and the Family is sent to the floor so Jimmy can hit a suicide dive but Harper breaks up Jey’s with a forearm. Bray and Miz both stand up with Miz decking Wyatt in the face. Rowan chases Miz to the back, allowing the Usos to hit a double superkick to Harper for the pin at 2:35.

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

I believe this is Nikki’s first singles match back since her leg injury. AJ bails to the floor to start to hide behind Tamina. The not so bright Nikki goes after her and gets her neck snapped across the top rope. A neckbreaker puts Nikki down for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Nikki fights up with some clotheslines as Tamina throws Brie into the steps. The distraction lets AJ hook the Black Widow for the submission at 2:31.

We see Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio as per WWE ’14.

Here’s the Cena career retrospective from Raw. Based on these videos, you would think Cena had been gone for about two years instead of nine weeks.

We go to the back where Bray Wyatt wants us to follow him. He steps aside and shows us a chained up and unconscious Miz with the sheep mask on his face and the word “liar” written on his chest. This is the kind of creepy stuff they need to get back to with the Wyatts.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

In case the first four or five times didn’t fulfill your needs for this pairing. During the entrances we see the HILARIOUS goring of Zeb Colter again. I know it’s hilarious because Cole tells us that it is over and over. Before the match the Real Americans come out to watch. Mahal is the one on the floor this time.

McIntyre jumps Diego to start before it’s quickly off to Slater who gets two off a knee lift. A double slingshot suplex gets two more on Diego and we hit the armbar from Drew. Diego fights up and makes the tag off to Fernando who cleans house and tags in Diego for a downward spiral/bulldog combo for the pin on Drew at 2:06.

Post match Mahal gets gored and taken down by a top rope Asai moonsault. Colter says he didn’t lay face down in Cambodia so deviant men can kidnap a small person and force him into a bull costume. Apparently there’s a tag match on Sunday.

Ryback/Paul Heyman vs. CM Skunk

You read the name right. This is No DQ as a preview for Sunday. Heyman says this will be a demonstration of the teamwork you’ll see inside the Cell on Sunday. Skunk comes out to Punk’s music and in a black hoodie but the fans quickly catch on to the joke. He has a skunk stripe painted into his hair. Ryback destroys him with the ease you would expect and hits two powerbombs in a row. Heyman pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and hits about twenty shots to Skunk’s back. Shell Shock ends Skunk with Heyman getting the pin at 2:42.

Heyman says that Skunk may have been a parody, but the same thing is going to happen on Sunday. Punk’s face will be raked across the Cell and he’ll be beaten badly enough that Heyman can get the pin again.

Vickie thinks CM Skunk is hilarious and spells out the joke for us by telling us that it sounds like CM Punk. Langston comes in and says he’s ready for the main event since Miz is out. Vickie doesn’t think so but Langston says he didn’t realize he was talking to Brad Maddox. That’s enough to get him Miz’s spot in the eight man tag tonight.

Here’s Alberto Del Rio for his final speech before facing Cena on Sunday. People have been telling him he’s crazy but people have been building monuments to him in Mexico. Babies are being named after him because he’s so amazing. On the other hand you have Americans who only have John Cena to cheer for. Alberto promises to put Cena in the cross armbreaker and never let it go no matter what the fans think of him.

R-Truth shills merchandise again but Santino comes in to try his luck. The (up to) 20% off sale is still on WWE.com if you enter the promo code COBRA.

Great Khali vs. Fandango

Fandango chops away to start and is immediately thrown down. Khali hits his big overhand chop in the corner but Fandango hits a jumping enziguri to put Khali down in the corner. The announcers are talking about Big Show and JBL references Copernicus just like he did on NXT, saying the world clearly revolves around Big Show instead of the sun. Summer Rae and Natalya get in a fight on the floor which stumbles into the ring for the DQ at 1:45. Can we get a match longer than three minutes tonight?

Randy Orton/Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Big E. Langston/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

That’s quite the main event. Cody and Dean get things going with Rhodes taking the US Champion into the good corner for a tag off to Goldust. Goldie sends Ambrose out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Rollins chopping away at Langston, only to be taken down with a belly to belly suplex. Cody comes back in and gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Seth send him face first into the middle turnbuckle.

The fast Shield tags begin with Reigns coming in to chop away, only to have Cody pull him over to the corner for a tag off to Bryan. Daniel takes Roman down by the leg and does the double knee stomp out of the surfboard. Off to Langston for some shoulders in the corner and a tag off to Goldust. Reigns misses a charge into the corner and Goldust gets two off a top rope spinning cross body. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with the match so far.

Back to Cody who gets taken into the Shield corner for a pounding from Ambrose and an eye rake across the top rope. Orton gets his first tag and pounds away on his former Legacy teammate, only to have Cody come back with a clothesline for two. A suplex gets the same and it’s back to Goldust for a few seconds before Cody comes in again and slugs on Randy some more. Randy comes back by dropping Cody ribs first over the top rope and makes the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean takes Cody to the outside and rams him into the barricade. It’s quickly back to Orton who misses a knee drop but catches Cody in the backbreaker out of the corner for two. We take another break and come back with Reigns slamming Cody down for two. Back to Rollins who grabs Cody’s leg to break up a hot tag attempt. Dean runs into a boot in the corner but he makes a blind tag to Seth, only to have Cody catch him diving off the top. The hot tag brings in Goldust to wake up the crowd and he backdrops Rollins down with ease.

Reigns makes another blind tag and takes Goldust down with a clothesline. Shield takes over on Goldust in the corner with the rapid tags continuing. Orton comes back in to stomp Goldie down into the corner before Reigns and Rollins come in within about 8 seconds of each other. Goldust comes back with a double bulldog and there’s the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel cleans house and sends Rollins to the outside. Reigns gets the same treatment, leaving Daniel alone with Dean.

Bryan backflips over Ambrose in the corner but instead of clotheslining Dean down it’s the FLYING GOAT to take out Orton. The missile dropkicks takes Dean down and here come the YES kicks. Reigns breaks up the YES Lock but Langston runs Roman over. Rollins escapes the Big Ending but a Disaster Kick takes Seth to the floor. Cody dives off the top to take out Rollins and Reigns but Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner. Back to Orton for the Elevated DDT but Langston distracts him, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for the pin at 15:58 shown of 22:58.

Rating: B. Nice main event here which got the time it needed to build up. Bryan pinning Orton to end things probably isn’t a good sign leading into the PPV but at this point I’ll take anything to get us to a new main event program. Everyone looked good here and I like the idea of Langston in the main event scene.

Celebrating ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one to rate. The main event is solid and takes up about ¼ of the show, but the rest of it was pure filler the entire way through. I did like the Wyatts kidnapping and labeling Miz for lack of a better term. There’s potential in those guys and a win over a former world champion isn’t going to hurt Bray at all. The show went by quickly which is a good idea and the whole thing did a decent enough job of building up the PPV on Sunday. Not bad here but nothing really worth seeing, other than maybe the main event if you’re bored.

Results

Usos b. Wyatt Family – Double superkick to Harper

AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Downward spiral/bulldog combination to McIntyre

Paul Heyman/Ryback b. CM Skunk – Heyman pinned Skunk after a Shell Shock from Ryback

Fandango vs. Great Khali went to a no contest when Natalya and Summer Rae interfered

Daniel Bryan/Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big E. Langston b. Randy Orton/Shield – Running knee to Orton

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Is best for business.The current word on the street is that TNA is moving back to a home city, most likely Orlando again, to hold most of their TV tapings.  A few major shows could be taped on the road.  This is without a doubt the right move for TNA for one reason: they can’t afford to stay on the road.

Look at TNA’s business lately.  They’ve cut away their PPVs, they’re cutting house shows, they air specials on TV which get slightly higher ratings/audiences than usual, and they’re spending way more money on TV tapings.  Translation: spend more, bring in less.  For a company like TNA which doesn’t have a ton of sponsors and doesn’t draw huge crowds (see: Glory, Bound For), going on the road this often isn’t a viable plan.  People often compare TNA to WCW, but it’s really more like ECW.  Think about this for a second.

ECW did most of its shows from one area/city

They never came close to being #1 or #2 (TNA is firmly #2 but only because there isn’t a third major company)

Their TV show is the #1 show on its network, but it doesn’t ever draw many people outside of its core audience

Only after several years of being an underground hit did it start regularly holding TV tapings outside of its base

ECW lasted about a year taping on the road before going back to house shows and syndication where it lasted abut six more months.  Now before you ask, no I’m not saying TNA has six months left and no I’m not saying they’re in the same kind of shape as ECW was in 1999/2000.  What I’m saying is right now, TNA flat out cannot maintain their status quo or grow nearly at all while doing TV on the road.

In short, they can stay in Orlando/whatever single city they pick and survive at a stable level or they can have a hotter crowd once in awhile and barely be able to afford anything outside of TV.  This isn’t a complicated problem.

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Todd Kenely, Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Championship Night or whatever the latest gimmick show these guys have going on is called. I’m not a big fan of having I think three title matches less than two weeks after BFG, but since the shows themselves aren’t worth watching, they need a gimmick to draw in fans. There’s a world title match tonight with an opponent for Hardy to be announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Hardy in the back. Hogan is picking Hardy’s first challenger tonight and Hardy is ready for anyone. Hardy leaves and we get a really stupid voiceover from Hardy, talking about all of his potential opponents. He doesn’t care who he faces here.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

We’ve got split announcers tonight, with Kenely (not sure who he is) and JB doing the first hour and the usual boys doing the second. Ion tries a quick rollup for two but it’s a standoff. Rob gets a gorilla press of all thigns and a pair of moonsaults for two. Ion heads to the floor and Rob is sent into the barricade when he follows. Ion charges into a kick in the ring but Rob misses a dive to the floor. Zema hits a flip dive over the top to take the champ out. Back in and Ion misses a majorly flippy dive so Rob kicks him in the face and hits Rolling Thunder for no cover. The Five Star retains the title at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Van Dam is a good pick for the title because you’re going to get at least a watchable match out of him and a win over him will mean something. Thankfully this should get him past Ion who was champion because….I’m not sure why he was champion, but it might be because he’s still around when everyone else from the X-Division revival

As Van Dam celebrates, Matt Morgan takes his head off with the Carbon Footprint. Joey Ryan has the X Title and poses with it. Morgan says this is what Hogan wanted.

Austin Aries is listening to the people trying to get the title match. The options are Angle, Anderson, Storm and Ray. Aries gets a shot anyway so he doesn’t care. We get some good jabs at Hogan’s “acting” and Aries says he’s going to use these guys for his personal amusement once they’re eliminated.

Here are Daniels and Kaz who don’t like the lack of tricks they’ve been getting for all the tricks they’ve been through. Daniels was left alone last week because Hogan screwed with Kaz’s travel. Kaz thinks the new champions are here in this country illegally. Daniels takes the mic from him and says that it’s not really Championship Thursday is it Suburban Commando? It’s a crime that everyone else is getting a shot but not them.

Daniels accuses Dixie of pandering to a Latino audience and says they should wear sombreros and drink tequila. Maybe they should call themselves Dos Stereotipicos. Daniels has a petition to get another title match. Well that’s better than the auto rematch clause. Cue the champions who say they’ll help with the petition. Hernandez has his title wrapped a chain around his neck. The brawl is on and the champs clear the ring in about a second. I think we have a rematch made. Kaz: “GIVE ME THAT CLIPBOARD BACK! THAT’S AN EXPENSIVE PEN!”

Hogan eliminates Anderson for nothing having enough fire. Aries tries to interview him. “Was it not taking enough vitamins? Not saying enough BROTHERS?” Aries says Anderson would be an easy opponent than him and throws a drink in Anderson’s face. The fight is on and Aries is down off a WICKED PAPER POSTER SHOT TO THE HEAD! A match is made and Anderson laughs. Then, to further the stupidity, we hear the director yell CUT. I mean…..really?

D-Von is with Aces and 8’s. The President has said no masks can come off. There are some women here to entertain them apparently, but first they have to take someone out. A member throws a dart at a bunch of pictures of wrestlers but we don’t see who it hit.

TV Title: Robbie T vs. Samoa Joe

Geez enough with the Robs getting title shots! Joe pounds away in the corner to start but T comes back with a spin kick to take him down. Joe puts on the Clutch and after a meaningless Robbie E distraction, Joe puts the hold on again while jumping on T’s back. Terry falls back on him but in an AWESOME moment, Joe sits up and with an INSANE look on his face, puts the hold back on and gets the tap at 2:28. Look up that ending. It looked great.

We recap Tara taking the title from Tessmacher along with Jesse from Big Brother. Did I mention I can’t stand reality TV?

Back to Hogan’s office and Ray apparently isn’t focused enough. He’s going to find D-Von and take care of him, basically eliminating himself.

Anderson yells at a guy in a headset and apparently it’s Anderson vs. Aries next. I know this because the announcer said it’s Anderson vs. Aries next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Austin Aries

They start immediately and Anderson yells mean things at Austin. Anderson takes his shirt off as Aries chills on the floor. A fireman’s carry goes nowhere and things slow down. Aries puts brass knuckles in Anderson’s tights but the referee takes them away. That was kind of odd. The fans chant cheater and Anderson pounds him into the corner again. Anderson gets sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Aries still in control but the fans are cheering for the cheater now. Anderson tries to fight back with some elbows and a clothesline that spins Aries inside out. Anderson’s spinning neckbreaker takes Aries down but the Regal Roll is countered again. The double rotation kick sends Aries to the floor and Anderson adds a plancha.

The fireman’s carry is loaded up again but Aries takes out the referee. Aries steals the knuckles from Aries and Anderson gets them. The referee takes them away and Aries knocks him cold with another pair. Aries pulls Anderson on top of him to feign a pin attempt before putting on the Last Chancery for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C-. This was an awkward match, likely because Anderson is so unorthodox in the ring. Not a horrible match but it was missing by a half beat. Aries is doing some cool stuff and I like him way better as a heel. I like Anderson way better off my TV, but I guess he’s better in this role than another, but it’s not like it’s a great improvement.

Brooke and Tara/Jesse do their usual stuff. Brooke tells Jesse that ODB has an eye on him. Isn’t ODB married?

Tenay and Taz take over in what is supposed to be a big deal I think. We recap the show up to this point.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and gets jumped before she can get in the ring. After more of a beating, a Jesse distraction lets Tara take over with some cheap shots. Tara slams Tessmacher’s face into the mat a few times but stops for a kiss. From Jesse unfortunately. More kissing occurs and Tara misses her slingshot somersault legdrop. Tessmacher comes back and hits her Stinkface before hitting an X Factor out of the corner. Tara grabs Terrell and Jesse lowbridges Tessmacher. Widow’s Peak retains the title at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Annoying non-celebrity aside, Tessmacher contines to do nothing at all for me. She’s just there and is exactly the same character she was a year ago. Also she’s just not that good in the ring, period. Her looks are great but mix up the outfits a bit already. Tara continues to be annoying with Jesse so it’s a success on that front. Hopefully this feud is done now.

Post match more making out occurs until Brooke comes out to shake her head. Apparently ODB is calling out Jesse next week on Open Fight Night.

Joseph Park goes in to talk to Hogan about fighting Aces and 8’s. Hogan says Park has had one match (he’s had two) and also he’s worried about Park’s liability. Park has a piece of paper. Hogan: “What’s that?” Park: “It’s a piece of paper.” He goes on to say it’s a letter of indemnification which means if he gets hurt fighting Aces and 8’s, it’s no one’s fault but Park’s and there’s no legal responsibility for anyone else.

Here’s Ray who again thanks Sting for letting him be his partner. Not much shocks Ray anymore, but the D-Von reveal did. Ray wants an explanation from D-Von but gets the whole group instead. They get in the ring and D-Von says they’re not friends or a team or anything anymore. D-Von says this has nothing to do with Ray anymore and it’s all about Hogan. Apparently this is because Hogan said that he wanted D-Von re-signed to the company, but Hogan and Dixie never called. In other words, if you don’t follow TNA online and follow Hogan on Twitter, this whole story makes VERY little sense.

D-Von says it’s over but Ray says it’s over when he says it’s over. Ray says D-Von is lying and he talks about the Guns coming back from 3D like two years ago and how they should have retired as champions. Years ago D-Von said they’re rich so screw the fans. D-Von says yeah he said it, so Ray wants to fight one on one right now. D-Von says it’s on his time but Ray says he’ll call him out next week on Open Fight Night.

Ryan says he wants the X Title and Morgan says Hogan started this.

It’s also Gut Check next week. The wrestler is Christian York. He wrestled on the first TNA show and in ECW.

Hogan says he’s got something big planned for Storm in the future but tonight Angle has the title shot.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has two belts here: the vanity belt around his waist and the real one over his shoulder. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Jeff takes him down with an armbar followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff goes to the corner but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Hardy escaping a chinlock and they clothesline each other.

Hardy starts speeding things up and kicks Angle to the floor. There’s a big clothesline off the apron and back inside for Whisper in the Wind for two. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans for two. The Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner for no cover. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Angle throws him off the top for two. Angle busts out a powerbomb for two and puts on a quick ankle lock, but Jeff kicks him off. The same kick puts Angle down but the Swanton misses.

The Angle Slam gets two so Jeff hits two straight Twists and the Swanton for just two. Jeff charges at Kurt and gets backdropped to the floor. Angle is spitting up blood. There go the straps as Hardy is thrown back in. Another Slam is countered into a rollup for the pin at 14:29 to keep the belt on Hardy.

Rating: B. When you need a solid match, call Kurt Angle. He’s great in spots like this where you need a main event and have no one else to throw in there. His resume is good enough to buy as a challenger no matter what he’s been doing lately. Either way, good stuff here and a very solid TV main event.

Post match Aries jumps Hardy and says the rematch is at Turning Point. Aries is so confident he’ll win that he takes the belt with him. The original, not the stupid one.

We cut to the back to see Angle getting destroyed by Aces and 8’s to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show, but man alive was it exhausting. There’s WAY too much stuff going on here between all of the title matches and the backstage stuff and the reality show stuff with Hogan and it’s all just too much. TNA is the opposite of WWE in that respect as while WWE has too much time on their hands, TNA doesn’t have enough and you get shows like this where there’s so much stuff going on that you can’t get a chance to breathe.

Still though, this was WAY better than last week and I feel better about where they’re going now. One more note: slow down on the gimmick shows. We’re going from Championship Thursday to Open Fight Night next week. Space them out or cut one. Back to back is too much, and there’s likely another gimmick that I can’t think of.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion – Five Star Frog Splash

Samoa Joe b. Robbie T – Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Last Chancery

Tara b. Miss Tessmacher – Widow’s Peak

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

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Halloween Havoc 1993
Date: October 24, 1993
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is a show I’ve kind of wanted to get to for the main event alone. This is the blowoff to Vader vs. Cactus Jack with the main event being non-title. For once that’s fine though as it shouldn’t be for the title as it’s about revenge. Also tonight it’s Flair vs. Rude II for the International Title. If it’s as bad as last month’s I’m not sure what I’ll do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video here is a bunch of kids trick or treating and one has an idea. One wants to go home because it’s time for Halloween Havoc to start. They go to a big scary house and find something terrifying inside: Tony Schiavone. If Halloween Havoc is about to start, shouldn’t he be at an arena?

One of the kids asks him just that and he says he has a helicopter. He says his wife is baking cookies and asks if the kids would like them. This is supposed to be a vampire thing I think and it turns into a promo for the Spin the Wheel Make the Deal main event. Tony pulls his face off to reveal a monster and we open the show.

Tony is dressed as Jesse and Jesse is dressed as a gynecologist. That’s rather amusing. Tony says he wasn’t in that house and it was Jesse dressed as a monster dressed as Tony. Ok then.

Ice Train/Charlie Norris/Shockmaster vs. Harlem Heat/Equalizer

Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole (Stevie and Booker respectively) and are by far the most talented guys in there. The face team (listed first) is perhaps the least talented group of three men ever assembled and that covers a lot. Shockmaster is the guy that fell over, Ice Train is a big muscular black guy and Norris is an Indian. Equalizer is not very good.

Ice Train and Stevie start us off. 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell are tag champions apparently. Train runs through him but surprisingly enough there’s no tag. Train can more or less do nothing at all. Off to Stevie now and Norris as well. Stevie gets his arm worked on as I’m bored already. Shocky comes in to a pop for no apparent reason. He drops some legs on the arm as we hear about his agility. Oh dear.

Harlem Heat use nefarious means to take down Ice Train as I guess he’s the face in peril. Still no Equalizer at this point. Oh great here he comes. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is of course incredibly boring and the most interesting thing we hear is that Yoshi Kwan has been replaced by Paul Orndorff in his match with Ricky Steamboat.

Shockmaster, called Uncle Fred here, comes in to beat up Equalizer. The fans chant whoomp there it is to tick me off. Norris in now but down he goes anyway. END THIS PLEASE!!! Booker misses a splash and it’s off to Shockmaster. He locks a bearhug on Booker and falls on him for the pin to THANKFULLY end this.

Rating: F+. Do I need to explain to you why this was terrible? Other than Booker T, Tugboat was the best worker in the entire match. Absolutely terrible, FAR too long at nearly 10 minutes and absolutely nothing special in the slightest about it. At least it’s over though.

Terry Taylor is the second referee for Rude vs. Flair. Does this PPV hate me or something?

Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat

Well he’s better than Kwan I guess. Orndorff has the Assassin, an old masked wrestler and Nick Patrick’s papa, with him for no apparent reason. The fans immediately start the Paula chant. Orndorff jumps him to start and takes the early command. I can’t stand Orndorff but this has to be better. Steamboat gets a rollup for two but gets his head taken off shortly thereafter.

We hit the floor as this is just barely interesting at this point. They fight on the ramp for a bit with Steamboat taking a WEAK slam. We stay out there way too long and Patrick finally yells at Paul about it. Steamboat finally gets something going by hooking the arm of Orndorff as he jumps and it’s off to an armbar. This needs to like, get going very soon here.

Jesse accusing the referee of jive talking. There’s something hilarious about that. Cross body by Steamboat gets two and it’s back to the arm. Steamboat sends Orndorff into the post which isn’t a DQ because it wasn’t head first. Somehow Orndorff is allowed to stay outside for like two minutes at a time. Steamboat goes back to the armbar and rips on the fingers this time.

Steamboat is all fired up here and Orndorff is hiding from him. Back to the floor where Orndorff rams Steamboat’s head into the apron and then dumps him into the crowd. Both try cross bodies back in the ring so we stop some more. Sunset flip gets two for Steamboat and we head outside AGAIN. This is beyond stupid at this point.

Back in the ring and a top rope chop gets two. Piledriver is reversed and it’s a pinfall reversal sequence. Slingshot into the corner sends Orndorff into the steel. The Steamboat Cross Body hits but the Assassin has the referee. The delay makes it get two. After some more near falls Orndorff sends him to the floor. With the referee distracted, Orndorff loads up his mask and rams his head into the back of Steamboat’s and it’s a freaking countout after nearly 20 minutes of dull.

Rating: D-. This is one of those matches that went on forever and then at the end we got nowhere. Probably 8 minutes of this was them laying around or in an armbar or being on the floor. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? We can’t have a clean ending here on a PPV? This was boring but the ending drags it way down.

The WCW International Board of Directors are saying that the International Title is considered a world title, so yes WCW did the two world titles first.

TV Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. Steven Regal

Ok, this has to be better right? This is pre-drugs Regal and therefore awesome. There’s a fifteen minute time limit so they might as well brand TIME LIMIT DRAW on the middle of the mat. BIG pop for Smith. That TV Title is the design that would become the Cruiserweight Title.

They walk around a lot and Regal complains about the oil on Smith. Smith almost breakdances and winds up in control of the wristlock. Regal takes over it and they kill some time. Smith cartwheels to escape some hold by Regal. This is another match with no apparent point other than to have a match. We’re about four minutes into this and nothing of note at all has happened yet.

Cravate by Regal wastes some more time. Surfboard by Smith takes about 30 seconds to set up. Sir William, the manage of Regal, tries to interfere and it makes Bulldog drop the hold. It allows Regal to take over as the crowd isn’t exactly thrilled with this match to say the least. Knee to the ribs gets two. He hooks a modified chinlock to waste more time.

Bulldog gets a sunset flip for two as this is reaching that level of boring again. We hit ten minutes with Regal holding onto Bulldog. This basically amounts to Bulldog on the mat and Regal laying on him. Four minutes left. Bulldog tries a comeback but Regal gets a knee to the ribs to stop that. Off to another chinlock which lasts awhile as we hit three minutes. Tony thinks we’re putting this into the deep freeze. You can’t buy insight like this people!

Bulldog gets him up onto his shoulders but Regal nails Smith in the ribs to drop him again. Back to ANOTHER chinlock as we’re at two minutes now. Jesse and Tony have an ethics debate (Jesse is against them) as Bulldog puts Regal on the ramp for no apparent reason. Regal takes him down one more time as this needs to end. Smith nips up and starts his comeback with a minute to go. What are the odds of that? Regal kicks out of the powerslam like it’s nothing and a Piledriver gets two at the bell so it’s a tie and Regal keeps the belt.

Rating: D. Well it was a little bit better than the other matches but it’s another nonsense finish. They’ve had one regular finish tonight and that was in the terrible six man match. This is perhaps the worst opening hour to a PPV I’ve ever seen. Actually wait. It’s not bad. It’s just insanely boring. This had DRAW written all over it from the second Bulldog’s music hit and everyone knew it.

The main event is a Texas Deathmatch which they clearly rigged the wheel for THANK GOODNESS after the fiasco last year.

United States Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

These two feuded for what seemed like forever. Dustin got the title in what was supposed to be a #1 contenders tournament but the champion, Rude, was injured so it became a title tournament. The Hollywood Blonds are still together but would be split very soon. Dustin of course, looks like an idiot because he wants to be a cowboy like his papa. Jesse flat out says it makes him look like a gay caballero.

The bell rings and the fans get a bit quieter. Austin slaps Dustin to start and they go into the corner. Dustin returns the slap and we hit the floor. Back in and Austin can’t get a Boston Crab. They tease a test of strength which goes nowhere. Austin drills him with a right hand to take over. Hmm he’s being rude to fans, wearing black, his hair is getting shorter and his name is Stunning. Nah there’s nothing there, at least according to Eric Bischoff.

Off to a headlock by Austin as they’re just past the feeling out process here. I’m starting to think that the boring style here is more a thing of WCW in general rather than the matches themselves. Into the corner now where Austin keeps control with chops. He tries a running knee into the corner but misses and hits the floor with a possibly bad knee. Austin with knee trouble? Nah.

Dustin, thinking for once, goes after the knee. Yep let’s do that for a few minutes now. The cameraman gets bored so we go to a wide shot as apparently researchers are looking up the rules for a gimmick match. This raises a bunch of questions. First of all, where do you look it up? Is there a Big Book O Gimmicks? Second, WCW has a research staff? And yet Charlie Norris, the Shockmaster and the Equalizer made it to TV? Finally, they didn’t know the rules when they put it on the wheel? What if it was an “everyone in the company loses their jobs match” according to the Big Book O Gimmicks? I could go on but I think you get the point.

Austin may hit Dustin low as he instantly takes over after a punch to the alleged stomach. Dustin goes back to the knee but Austin takes him down with ease again. Now we’re wasting some more time until Dustin hammers away with punches. Backdrop has Austin in trouble. Dustin calls for the bulldog but he gets crotched as a result. As Goldust he’d enjoy that methinks.

With Dustin sitting on the corner he got crotched on, Austin knocks him backwards into a Tree of Woe. Hey, Austin and Dustin only have one letter different in their name. Obviously the A did better than the D, thereby proving that letter grades are better than stars. Stun Gun is blocked and they go into a short pinfall reversal sequence for nothing but deuces.

Austin sets for a spinebuster but more or less drops him. He throws his feet on the ropes and gets the pin but Nick Patrick stops the celebration and says keep going. Dustin rolls him up for the quick pin despite Austin’s shoulders being up. Austin clocks him with the belt and leaves with the belt post match. He would win it at Starrcade before losing it to Jim Duggan of all people in like 30 seconds.

Rating: C. Well it’s the best match of the night so far but it’s still pretty bad. Austin and Dustin would have a much better 2/3 falls match at Starrcade but this was just not that good. You could see the star in Austin but he was held back by general idiocy for far too long. Anyway, decent match here but the show’s life has been sucked out of it long ago so there’s not much that’s going to save it and an ok match isn’t going to start the process at all.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Nasty Boys

The random team won the tag titles “last night” (really like three weeks ago) as a surprise. Again the problems with the long TV tapings show up as everyone knew the titles were changing back tonight. Teddy Long manages Bagwell and Scorpio. Bagwell can’t dance, like at all. Bagwell has been either a rookie or in his second year for like 19 years now. Hearing Buffer say “The Diss That Don’t Miss” is disturbing.

Big brawl to start with the champions sending the Nasties to the floor. Bagwell kisses Missy Hyatt just because he can. That was apparently before the bell meaning we get MORE NASTY BOYS BABY!!! Sags goes off on Bagwell to start and apparently Bagwell is surprised. They fought them last night. How surprised can he be? Bagwell fights both guys off and Scorpio hits a top rope cross body to take both Nasties out and the challengers hit the floor again.

Another dive by Bagwell as we have even more time with them staring at each other. Off to Scorpio and Knobbs now with Scorpio getting a sunset flip for two. Double shoulderblock by the champions get two as this has been totally one sided other than some punches by Sags. Thesz Press gets two for Bagwell on Knobbs. Sags comes in and gets knocked around a bit too. Lots of double team moves get two on Sags. Off to an armbar by Scorpio now.

Back off to Bagwell and the arm work continues. Sags finally remembers that he’s in a famous tag team and shoves Bagwell into the corner and double teaming by the heels ensues. Out on the floor Missy slaps the TAR out of Bagwell. Bagwell is back dropped out there and casually says Oh My God while holding his back. Slam gets two. Off to the old favorite of a chinlock by Knobbs but it’s back to Sags very soon.

Sags spits on Bagwell who takes him down as a result. Knobbs, the illegal man, covers him for two after no tag and the referee is fine with it. Gotta love refereeing skills! Bearhug goes on to kill some more time. Marcus tries to fight out but a right hand stops him pretty easily. There’s my favorite move as the referee misses the tag to Scorpio but three seconds later the real tag happens anyway.

Scorpio comes in and cleans house with punches and dropkicks. Splash in the corner to Knobbs and he wants the Tumbleweed. Sags accidentally drops an elbow on Sags and the managers get up on the apron. In the ring there’s the 450 to Knobbs but Sags drills 2 Cold and puts Knobbs on top for the pin to win the titles back. Riveting.

Rating: C-. Well the ending was pretty fast paced but the 13 and a half minutes to get there more or less bored the heck out of me. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to keep giving the Nasties double digits worth of time but it happened for about a year and a half. This was a boring match with a good ending and sadly enough the ending has been the best part of the show so far.

Sid and Colonel Parker (when did THAT partnership happen?) say that Sid is the Franchise of WCW. This next match is basically to determine who the big shot in the company is. Guess who wins.

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

Sid hammers him down to start with raw power. A clothesline by Sting puts Sid on the apron and a suplex brings him back in. To the floor we go and they fight into the crowd. This is all happening in maybe the first minute or so. Back to ringside with Sting totally in control. Top rope clothesline puts Sid down for two.

Parker grabs Sting’s foot and Sid is able to chokeslam Sting down. Now Sid stops to pose. Well no one ever accused Sid of being smart. He pounds away, mainly using very, very slow offense. Sid keeps grabbing Sting by the throat and shoving him around with relative ease. He adds some stomps as Sting really shouldn’t be in much trouble or pain at this point.

Parker cheats a bit and nothing really comes of it. More stomps as Sid hasn’t gone for anything resembling a kill. Side slam by Sid but no cover of course so Parker chokes a bit more. Sting goes after the Colonel on the floor so Sid goes after him, adding a chair shot so weak that I actually thought the video was in slow motion. Sid drapes him across the railing as this is so slow it’s pitiful.

Off to a chinlock now as I guess that was too much wrestling for Sid’s tastes. The fans chant for either guy as Sting fights up. He walks into a powerslam for two though and it’s off to a bearhug now. Sting gets out of it so we go right back to it. Again he escapes and avoids a big boot before hammering away on Sid. Two Stinger Splashes put Sid down and Parker is dropped for a bit. Parker accidentally grabs Sid’s foot for two. Sting rolls up Sid to thankfully end this.

Rating: D-. Oh this was bad. Sid’s combined time on offense might have added up to three moves that would have done significant damage. This went nowhere at all and was more or less a glorified workout for Sting. Sid would turn face soon after but nearly murder Arn Anderson and end his world title push. Terrible match with Sid doing barely anything at all. You know what this was like? It was like when you see wrestlers on a mainstream TV show and they do the bare bones of moves to try to make it look like a match before the ending. That’s what this was like but on a PPV match.

Vader is warming up.

Cactus seems to be….praying? He keeps saying you can’t hurt Cactus Jack.

WCW International World Title: Ric Flair vs. Rick Rude

Flair has his French maid Fifi with him. Remember that Terry Taylor is the second referee for no apparent reason at all. The big match intros waste some time. Flair gets a bunch of pyro when he’s already in the ring. Jesse: “All that for the challenger?” This is an actual world title so yes, Rude was a world champion. Taylor is on the floor for this so you can write Dusty Finish on this already.

Flair hammers away to start and gives us a WOO. Clothesline in the corner puts Rude down as it’s been all Flair so far. Granted we’re maybe 90 seconds into this. Rude gets a knee up in the corner but misses one off the top. Figure Four attempt works almost immediately and Rude is in trouble. This draws a WHOMP THERE IT IS chant for no apparent reason other than these are some stupid, stupid people.

Rude FINALLY makes the ropes and the hold is broken. Flair wraps his leg around the post as Jesse wonders why Taylor doesn’t stop it. Totally valid question which Tony of course brushes off. Flair works the knee more and Jesse says that he and Tony should wave since they’re on camera. Jesse is hilarious at times he really is.

Flair is sent to the floor to break the hold he had on Rude. He busts out a sunset flip but Rude kneels into it and grabs the ropes which Taylor slaps away so Flair gets two. Rude is knocked to the floor again as this has been one sided. Flair drops a forearm on Rude from the top rope to the floor. When do you ever see that? I guess this is post Bill Watts era. He tries it again but since it already worked once in the year it doesn’t a second time as Rude gets a fist in.

Rude tries to get a chair shot in but Taylor breaks that up. Jesse says Rude is the young one. Flair was old and this is eighteen and a half years ago. Chinlock by Rude which he lets go to gyrate for Fifi. Rude goes up and drops a forearm on Flair’s head for two. The knee injury from earlier slowed up his cover in some nice continuity. Back to the chinlock (reverse chinlock like a camel clutch here).

Flair is sent to the ramp and takes out a cameraman which is always fun to see. Suplex back in gets no cover. Rude goes up and hits the forearm/fist/strike from the top rope. Again why mess with the basics if they work? They chop it out and I think you know who wins that. Rude takes him down with a clothesline for two though and we hit the bearhug. He drops to his knees in this hold for some reason. He gets some covers out of it so I guess that was the idea.

They slug it out for a bit and Flair locks in a sleeper which is broken in seconds. Maybe it wasn’t locked in. Rude goes up a third time but Flair avoids it. Rude Awakening by Flair gets two. Backslide gets two for the challenger. Taylor is the in ring referee now for no apparent reason at all. Flair comes off the top but jumps into the boot of Rude in the dumbest spot in wrestling.

Ok now Anderson is in the ring as referee again. Flair wakes up and goes off on Rude in the corner but Rude gets a weak clothesline. Down goes Anderson so now Taylor should be the in ring referee. Rude hits him by mistake and pulls out the foreign object that won him the title last month. Flair takes him down and gets the object, hitting Rude with it. He drills Rude (no pin for no apparent reason at all) but the outside referee saw it and yes you guessed it IT’S A DUSTY FINISH with Rude keeping the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match itself was boring but then the ending made it even worse. This went twenty minutes and we get a Dusty Finish. Is anything actually going to happen on this show? Like I said another boring match but I’m rating it higher out of pity at this point. Terrible ending and a weak match to set it up means this isn’t anything to talk about.

Rude tries to take Fifi but gets dropped and put in the Figure Four on the ramp.

We go over the rules for a Texas Deathmatch (I guess we found the Big Book O Gimmicks). Here’s the idea: it’s kind of like a Last Man Standing match but not quite. You fight and you go for pins which count anywhere in the building. Then there’s a 30 second rest period (stupid) and THEN the guy that got pinned has ten seconds to get up, meaning you have 40 seconds to get up in theory. Dude, did ANYONE edit the Big Book O Gimmicks?

Vader vs. Cactus Jack

I’m not going through the whole angle again but in short they started fighting in April, Vader injured Jack, Jack is here for revenge. Vader is world champion but this is about revenge and not the title. Jack is just mad over here. He was second to probably only Flair and Sting (arguably only Sting) in popularity at this point.

They go straight to the floor and the fight is on. I remember last year in the WZ Tournament IC said that there was one person that could take Vader in a hardcore match and that was Cactus Jack. This is the proof. Vader misses a punch and hits the post so Jack goes right after it. Chair is brought in but Vader just punches Jack in the head. Cactus is like BRING IT ON and bites Vader.

HARD chair shot to the head of Vader and the champion is in trouble. They actually go into the ring but Vader gets a boot up and drills Cactus with a clothesline. Vader just mauls him in the corner and Cactus is reeling. Out to the ramp goes Jack but he avoids a suplex back into the ring. Somehow he manages to suplex Vader in a rather rare display of strength. Jack is busted open but hits another suplex on the ramp, this time a belly to back variety.

No attempts at covers yet as this has been a major brawl. Race tries to interfere with a chair and gets dropped with ease. Another chair shot to Vader and they go into the graveyard set. They go into a grave with a headstone marked RIP Vader. For some reason there are steps into it which Cactus comes out of. His eye looks AWFUL. Vader comes out of his own grave and is busted open too. There’s a Thriller joke in there somewhere.

A shot with something gets a pin on Vader. Now Vader has 30 seconds to rest and THEN he has to get up. That’s just stupid. Only WCW could take a brutal war and make it this idiotic. Cactus grabs a cactus and drills Vader with it as Vader was up at two. Why is there a cactus in a graveyard in Louisiana? Cactus drops the elbow off the ramp and gets a fall with that. After the resting (some DEATHmatch) Vader is up before two.

Vader wakes up and drills Cactus who fights right back. A table (an actual one and not the WWE style) is set up in the corner. Vader is thrown into it and bounces off which just gets two. Cactus drills him with the table (again doesn’t break. See what I mean?) to knock him to the floor. Cactus tries a sunset flip to the floor which misses so Vader tries to sit on him which fails.

Jack drapes him over the railing and just beats on him. Total war the entire time so far. Into the crowd now and Vader more or less backdrops Cactus into the ringside area again. Chair to the back of Cactus as Harley has a freaking tazer. Vader slams Jack down and hits a pretty decent Vadersault for the pin and a count of like 3. This is why the rest period is stupid: the guy is up to a knee when the count starts.

They go to the ramp again and in perhaps the sickest bump I have ever seen, Cactus tries a sleeper out there but Vader drops backwards onto him. The THUD is absolutely sick and Cactus just stops dead. He ruptured his kidney on that and more or less couldn’t move but he kept going because it would have made him look weak. My jaw actually dropped on that shot.

Vader, nice guy that he is, drills him with a chair as Race wants a DDT on the chair. There it is and Cactus is more or less deceased. No cover as Patrick brings over the trainer for Jack. Wait was there a pin in there that I missed? Vader beats up the medics and there’s the pin. Ok I’m not crazy. During the rest period Cactus DDTs Vader on the chair but as he’s trying to get up Race uses the tazer on the leg (might be nice to turn it on to play it up) of Foley and it’s over.

Rating: A. The ending is the only thing keeping this from an A+. This is an absolute WAR. Other than the rest periods (stupid WCW) there isn’t a single break of action in the whole sixteen minutes of this. Great match and of course since Cactus was over with the fans and having better and better matches, he was thrown into a tag team and more or less forgotten about until he was fired when Hogan arrived next year. Typical WCW.

Jack DDTs Race post match for fun to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man this was weak. The main event is the ONLY thing there is worth seeing on here. If you like brawls that match is must see. The other two and a half hours shouldn’t be mentioned again. Just a terrible show with the only other highlight being Jesse and Tony’s costumes. Terribly boring show that is typical of WCW in this year. Watch the main event and that’s it. Bischoff was a Civil War soldier if you care for some reason.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 24, 2013
Location: Maverik Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Bound For Glory has come and gone, boring the hundreds and hundreds of people who bought it and the dozens who actually attended. The main development is AJ Styles defeated Bully Ray to win the world title. Actually every title changed hands at the show, with the Bro Mans, Gail Kim and Chris Sabin all taking home gold. This is kind of the beginning of a new year for TNA so hopefully they can come up with something better than what we’ve been seeing lately. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the events of Bound For Glory, including all the title changes and Kurt Angle declining the induction into the Hall of Fame.

AJ vs. Ray II for the title tonight.

Here’s a very happy Dixie Carter to open things up. There’s a big set in the ring with AJ shirts and merchandise and a big WELCOME BACK AJ STYLES banner. Dixie gets Vickie Guerrero style heat as she says that she made a mistake recently and this is her apology. She always looks to the future and sucks up to Styles for a few minutes, talking about how he’s a legend and her world champion. Dixie introduces AJ and here’s the new champion.

Dixie keeps sucking up to AJ and talks about the slump he’s been in for several months now. She’s ready to pay though so it’s all good. Tonight AJ gets a fancy private dressing room which is almost as nice as Dixie’s. It comes complete with fillet mignon, caviar and champagne. Dixie shows off a watch for AJ which is apparently off of Craigslist. There’s one thing left though: a black sports car which AJ can drive with his new long hair flowing in the wind.

AJ talks about all the stuff Dixie has but still won’t join Team Dixie. First of all he’s a truck guy so the car doesn’t do much for him. He won’t separate himself from the boys that built this company. This mess could have been settled months ago when Dixie bet against him and lost. Dixie offers to cancel the rematch tonight with she and AJ going on a trip on her private jet instead. This brings out Bully and Brooke to protest after a break.

Bully doesn’t like the idea of the title match being canceled but AJ cuts him off. He definitely isn’t taking that trip to Dixieland and doesn’t think the whole rematch idea applies to wrestlers with no contract. However, he’s here in Salt Lake City to defend the title so it’s on. Bully calls AJ’s title win lucky because there was no way AJ can beat him clean.

Ray says that he kicked out of the Spiral Tap but Earl Hebner didn’t call it for some reason. Apparently God is a bully too and if he’s a bully, he’s Bully Ray. AJ says Aces and 8’s, all three of them, won’t be able to beat him tonight and he’ll be celebrating in the crowd with his fans tonight. He says they’ll know what his name is, so Ray drops him with one punch and beats on AJ with part of the set. Ray loads up a powerbomb through the table but here’s the returning Anderson for the save. Anderson beats on Bully in the corner and sends him running away.

After another break Anderson is still in the ring and says he really missed all the fans. They didn’t seem to miss him but he wants to know if Ray missed him as well. The fans don’t quite think so but Anderson spins his head around to show how good his neck feels. Anderson talks about being gone for so long and how tired he’s getting of everything, much like the agents in the back and the fans here tonight. It’s really gotten that bad in the five weeks he’s been gone?

The fans chant YES and here’s Dixie with a bunch of security to arrest Anderson. Anderson: “You’re into handcuffs?” He talks about getting arrested several times but thinks we should have some fun with it this time. Anderson punches two security guards (who are nice enough to sell for him) until voluntarily being taken away in the cuffs.

Video on the Knockouts Title match from BFG which saw Lei’D Tapa reveal an alliance with Gail Kim to win her the title.

Brooke/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/ODB

ODB pulls Brooke in to start and hits a quick Bronco Buster, sending Brooke out to the floor. She pulls ODB to the floor and stomps away a bit before sending ODB back in for more of the same from Gail. The champ quickly leaves and it’s back to Brooke for more forearms and stomping. ODB shoves Brooke off the middle rope and it’s hot tag to Velvet. She cleans a few rooms of the house with a flying headscissors and a running neckbreaker as everything breaks down. Everyone heads to the floor and it’s Tapa sneaking in to kick Velvet in the face to give Gail the pin at 3:35.

Rating: D-. And most of that is because of how good Brooke looks in her new outfit. Tapa can’t even do a big boot properly as she hit more of the shoulder instead of Velvet’s head. Gail as Knockouts Champion is nothing new, which is the continued problem with the entire division: it needs some fresh faces. Tapa simply isn’t going to work in that regard based on what we’ve seen so far.

The Bro Mans celebrate their tag title win by spraying their hair.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

Dewey is another jobber, this time from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, home of Cody Deaner if I remember correctly. Carter takes him to the mat with ease and pounds away in the corner. Dewey comes back with a few shots to the face and a missile dropkick, only to be caught in the bulldog driver for the pin at 2:38. Same match he had at Bound For Glory.

Post match Ethan says he’s a Carter so the world needs him.

We recap Magnus beating Sting on Sunday.

Magnus is with Sting in the back and says he didn’t show Sting the right amount of respect. Sting is wondering if he passed the torch or lit a new fire under Magnus. They shake hands and everything seems cool.

We get a video from the Hall of Fame induction dinner, Angle declining the Hall of Fame induction and Angle vs. Roode.

Here’s Angle with something to say. He talks about how great it was to hear people praise him at the dinner, but he couldn’t accept the induction at BFG. One day though, he’ll have proven himself worthy of the spot which he’ll then accept. As for the match, it took a toll on his body and yes he knocked himself out on the last move, but here’s Roode to interrupt before Kurt can go any further.

Roode talks about evening the score from two years ago when Angle beat him in the main event of Bound For Glory 2011. He’s lived with that feeling of failure for two years but now it’s Kurt’s turn to feel the exact same thing. On Sunday, the It Factor beat the Olympic gold medalist. Angle says Roode is a bad man but he’s not better than Kurt. Angle wants a rematch RIGHT NOW but Roode hands him a paper instead. Apparently Kurt has torn knee cartilage and isn’t cleared to wrestle, but Kurt says he’s cleared to fight. The brawl only lasts for a few seconds before security breaks it up.

Bully tells Bischoff and Knux to make sure Anderson doesn’t make bail.

Dixie is on the phone in her office and says she needed something done yesterday.

It’s time for the Bro Mans’ celebration of being the new tag champions. They have punch, shrimp, confetti and a DJ. Robbie thinks this is a great party and declares Sunday the biggest night in Bro Man history. The fans think the new champions can’t wrestle but here are Storm and Gunner before the party goes on too long. Storm says this is a party and starts drinking the champagne while gunner eats the protein bars.

The fight is about to start but here’s Bad Influence to object. Kaz says they need to become three time tag team champions but Daniels wants to talk about the kind of beverages at this party. Beer is the drink of the lower class, champagne is for posers and the drink of a man is an appletini. Storm steals the drink and Gunner throws it in Daniels’ face, triggering the brawl. Cue Part and Young to join the brawl, but Daniels makes the mistake of shattering a bottle over Park’s head, drawing blood. Park chases off the bad guys and the good guys get to stand tall.

Angle vs. Roode next week. How TNA can be sure Angle can be cleared that fast isn’t really clear but at least they’ve got the right idea.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

They have a ton of time here with nearly half an hour left in the show. AJ has heavily taped up ribs. Bully interrupts the big match intros so AJ punches him in the face to get things going. The champion scores with his drop down into the dropkick sequence and gets two off a kick to the head. Bully starts thinking and lifts Styles into the air to drop him ribs first down onto the mat as we take a break.

Back with Ray mocking Hogan and easily stopping an AJ comeback by going to the ribs. A big backdrop puts AJ down again but he comes back with some shots to the head. Ray sends him to the apron but Styles scores with the springboard forearm for two. AJ foolishly tries a fireman’s carry and gets caught in a Samoan drop for two. Ray misses the middle rope backsplash but AJ misses the springboard 450 to hurt the ribs even worse.

AJ is loaded up onto the ropes but he shoves Ray back, right into the referee. Styles grabs the Calf Killer for the tap out but there’s no referee. Ray hits a chain shot to the throat and the Bully Cutter is good for two. Ray gets the chain again but the referee is starting to get back into it. Cue Anderson to snap Ray’s throat across the ropes, allowing AJ to get a crucifix for the pin at 13:28.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than Bound For Glory because it wasn’t so insane and told a better story, but did anyone not know Anderson was coming back? It’s good to give Ray a new feud and as long as it gets him away from the Aces and 8’s schtick he’ll be in much better shape. Not a great match here but it worked well enough.

Post match Anderson and Ray get pulled apart. Dixie pops up on screen with a contract for Styles, telling him not to go anywhere. After the break here’s Carter with the contract and a speech ready of course. She offers AJ the contract and reminds AJ how sweet she is. The car is a signing bonus for Styles for date nights with his wife.

AJ says it’s a great contract from a horrible human being who uses wrestlers like him to pad their bank account and buy themselves fancy cars. Styles rips up the contract and says it wasn’t about the money but rather about the respect. Dixie is going to pay by having AJ take the title and leaving with it. He’s taking the title with him to the people who deserve a champion. Oh and he’s taking the car too. Styles walks to the back and heads to the car which is already running despite him having the key. He drives off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. TNA needed to hit a home run tonight to make up for Bound For Glory but instead we got a decent single. This more or less did nothing new as everything seems focused on Bound For Glory rematches in the coming weeks. That’s a major problem when almost everything you had for BFG wasn’t well received. This show was a lot of nothing with WAY too many recaps and nowhere near enough action. Where was the X-Division? You know, that thing that sucked up most of the midcard talent for the PPV? TNA needs something fresh and they need it in a hurry. This wasn’t a horrible show, but it didn’t help things.

Results

Brooke/Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky/ODB – Kim pinned Sky after a big boot from Lei’D Tapa

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – Bulldog driver

AJ Styles b. Bully Ray – Crucifix

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NXT
Date: October 23, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Tensai, Alex Riley

We’re back after last week’s excellent, pay per view level show. I’m pretty sure this is the start of a new set of tapings so things should feel a bit more fresh. It’s hard to say what’s coming with this batch as a lot of the main stars were on a tour of Abu Dhabi when the shows were filmed. NXT hasn’t let me down yet though so let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

That’s quite the interesting choice for analyst on commentary this week.

Sasha Banks vs. Emma

We start with something resembling a dance off before they poke each other in the chest. Emma takes her down and gets two off a rollup before cranking on Sasha’s arm. Another pair of rollups get near falls for Emma as the announcers list off hashtags the girls have started. Sasha sends Emma into the buckle to take over but Emma sends her face first eight straight times to come back. Emma gets taken down into a chinlock and we take a break.

Back with Emma still in the hold complete with a bodyscissors. Emma finally fights up but gets taken right back down with a backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock again because two minutes of it wasn’t long enough. Emma fights up again and scores with a clothesline followed by the Dilemma (Tarantula) and the running cross body to a seated Sasha for two. Emma loads up the Emma Lock but has to go after Summer Rae. Paige comes out to take down Mrs. Fandango but the distraction allows Banks to get a rollup for the pin at 7:20 shown of 10:50.

Rating: D+. This was pretty disappointing with far too much time spent in a chinlock. That being said, it’s still WAY better than anything the Divas of WWE have done in months with the girls looking natural instead of looking like they’re walking a tightrope of a set of spots. Paige vs. Laycool II should be fun when it actually happens.

Post match Summer goes in for a cheap shot on Emma and Paige accidentally clotheslines the Aussie by mistake.

We get a video from last week of Bo Dallas saying there was nothing wrong (“Controversy schmontroversy”) with how he beat Sami Zayn. He’s taking a vacation now and going on a world tour, including a stop in Bo-livia to deliver 10,000 squirt guns to starving children. Konichiwa, and remember don’t stop Bo-lieving.

We recap Ascension retaining the titles last week and Graves turning on Neville.

Here’s Graves in a suit to explain his actions. Adrian Neville and the NXT Universe will want to know why he did what he did, but before he can explain here’s Neville to jump him. They head to the ring with Neville pounding away and diving over the top to take Graves out again.

Casey Maron/Tommy Taylor vs. Ascension

Non-title here. Maron starts and draws the still awesome LET’S GO THIS GUY chant. Victor takes him into the corner and pounds away before it’s off to O’Brien for some running shoulders. Taylor is knocked to the floor and Maron is taken down by a modified double powerbomb. The Fall of Man ends the squash at 2:30.

We look back at Zayn vs. Dallas from last week.

Last week Sami said that he had no problem with the match being restarted for Dallas’ foot being on the rope but he does have a problem with the match not being restarted after he was rammed into a buckle. Maybe JBL has it in for him?

JBL doesn’t approve of Renee Young wearing a non-NXT approved tank top before talking about how the universe doesn’t revolve around Sami Zayn. He stopped a referee’s error because it was best for business but he can’t do everything. Sami Zayn won’t be here until JBL decides he’ll be back.

CJ Parker vs. Alexander Rusev

No LeFort or Dawson for Rusev this week. He runs over Parker to start as we might be in another squash. A blonde woman in a red dress is walking around ringside as the Accolade makes Parker give up at 1:18. Total squash.

The woman in red leaves and seems pleased with what she saw in Rusev.

During the break Tyler Breeze come in and hit the spinwheel kick (named the Beauty Shot) on Parker. Breeze even cuts off some of Parker’s hair to make it personal.

Breeze vs. Parker next week.

Corey Graves vs. Adrian Neville

The bell rings and Adrian immediately hits a dropkick to take Graves down. Some kicks to the leg send Graves to the floor and Neville adds a big dive to the outside. Back in and Graves takes him down by the leg but a cannonball off the ropes is countered into a rollup for two. Corey kicks away at the leg and pounds away with right hands to the head.

More stomping to the body has Adrian down and a clothesline gets two. Off to a standing figure four for a good while before a leg drag gets two. Back to a kneeling figure four but Neville fights up with some forearms to the face. A third one puts Corey down but Adrian hurts his knee coming off the top. Lucky 13 is good for the submission for Graves at 7:10.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see but it made logical sense. Neville is a high flier and for once taking out the flier’s leg actually worked. It also sets up a rematch where Neville can come back and get his actual revenge after looking like he can’t beat Graves the first time around. Nothing great here but it was acceptable.

Graves puts Neville in the hold again on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t nearly as good as I’m used to with NXT but it still wasn’t bad. This show did a good job of showcasing some of the lower level people in NXT and the result is the same: if you put time and effort into stories and characters, they’ll be entertaining. The top guys being gone can be a good thing if they use the time right, and so far it hasn’t been that bad.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Emma – Rollup

Ascension b. Casey Maron/Tommy Taylor – Fall of Man to Maron

Alexander Rusev b. CJ Parker – Accolade

Corey Graves b. Adrian Neville

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