NXT
Date: October 23, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Tensai, Alex Riley

We’re back after last week’s excellent, pay per view level show. I’m pretty sure this is the start of a new set of tapings so things should feel a bit more fresh. It’s hard to say what’s coming with this batch as a lot of the main stars were on a tour of Abu Dhabi when the shows were filmed. NXT hasn’t let me down yet though so let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

That’s quite the interesting choice for analyst on commentary this week.

Sasha Banks vs. Emma

We start with something resembling a dance off before they poke each other in the chest. Emma takes her down and gets two off a rollup before cranking on Sasha’s arm. Another pair of rollups get near falls for Emma as the announcers list off hashtags the girls have started. Sasha sends Emma into the buckle to take over but Emma sends her face first eight straight times to come back. Emma gets taken down into a chinlock and we take a break.

Back with Emma still in the hold complete with a bodyscissors. Emma finally fights up but gets taken right back down with a backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock again because two minutes of it wasn’t long enough. Emma fights up again and scores with a clothesline followed by the Dilemma (Tarantula) and the running cross body to a seated Sasha for two. Emma loads up the Emma Lock but has to go after Summer Rae. Paige comes out to take down Mrs. Fandango but the distraction allows Banks to get a rollup for the pin at 7:20 shown of 10:50.

Rating: D+. This was pretty disappointing with far too much time spent in a chinlock. That being said, it’s still WAY better than anything the Divas of WWE have done in months with the girls looking natural instead of looking like they’re walking a tightrope of a set of spots. Paige vs. Laycool II should be fun when it actually happens.

Post match Summer goes in for a cheap shot on Emma and Paige accidentally clotheslines the Aussie by mistake.

We get a video from last week of Bo Dallas saying there was nothing wrong (“Controversy schmontroversy”) with how he beat Sami Zayn. He’s taking a vacation now and going on a world tour, including a stop in Bo-livia to deliver 10,000 squirt guns to starving children. Konichiwa, and remember don’t stop Bo-lieving.

We recap Ascension retaining the titles last week and Graves turning on Neville.

Here’s Graves in a suit to explain his actions. Adrian Neville and the NXT Universe will want to know why he did what he did, but before he can explain here’s Neville to jump him. They head to the ring with Neville pounding away and diving over the top to take Graves out again.

Casey Maron/Tommy Taylor vs. Ascension

Non-title here. Maron starts and draws the still awesome LET’S GO THIS GUY chant. Victor takes him into the corner and pounds away before it’s off to O’Brien for some running shoulders. Taylor is knocked to the floor and Maron is taken down by a modified double powerbomb. The Fall of Man ends the squash at 2:30.

We look back at Zayn vs. Dallas from last week.

Last week Sami said that he had no problem with the match being restarted for Dallas’ foot being on the rope but he does have a problem with the match not being restarted after he was rammed into a buckle. Maybe JBL has it in for him?

JBL doesn’t approve of Renee Young wearing a non-NXT approved tank top before talking about how the universe doesn’t revolve around Sami Zayn. He stopped a referee’s error because it was best for business but he can’t do everything. Sami Zayn won’t be here until JBL decides he’ll be back.

CJ Parker vs. Alexander Rusev

No LeFort or Dawson for Rusev this week. He runs over Parker to start as we might be in another squash. A blonde woman in a red dress is walking around ringside as the Accolade makes Parker give up at 1:18. Total squash.

The woman in red leaves and seems pleased with what she saw in Rusev.

During the break Tyler Breeze come in and hit the spinwheel kick (named the Beauty Shot) on Parker. Breeze even cuts off some of Parker’s hair to make it personal.

Breeze vs. Parker next week.

Corey Graves vs. Adrian Neville

The bell rings and Adrian immediately hits a dropkick to take Graves down. Some kicks to the leg send Graves to the floor and Neville adds a big dive to the outside. Back in and Graves takes him down by the leg but a cannonball off the ropes is countered into a rollup for two. Corey kicks away at the leg and pounds away with right hands to the head.

More stomping to the body has Adrian down and a clothesline gets two. Off to a standing figure four for a good while before a leg drag gets two. Back to a kneeling figure four but Neville fights up with some forearms to the face. A third one puts Corey down but Adrian hurts his knee coming off the top. Lucky 13 is good for the submission for Graves at 7:10.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see but it made logical sense. Neville is a high flier and for once taking out the flier’s leg actually worked. It also sets up a rematch where Neville can come back and get his actual revenge after looking like he can’t beat Graves the first time around. Nothing great here but it was acceptable.

Graves puts Neville in the hold again on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t nearly as good as I’m used to with NXT but it still wasn’t bad. This show did a good job of showcasing some of the lower level people in NXT and the result is the same: if you put time and effort into stories and characters, they’ll be entertaining. The top guys being gone can be a good thing if they use the time right, and so far it hasn’t been that bad.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Emma – Rollup

Ascension b. Casey Maron/Tommy Taylor – Fall of Man to Maron

Alexander Rusev b. CJ Parker – Accolade

Corey Graves b. Adrian Neville

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These people astound me at times.1. Apparently Vince doesn’t like Sami Zayn going to the top rope and playing to the crowd so much.  He’s probably right.  I mean, guys like Sting, Hogan, Austin and Rock played to the crowds their entire careers.  Why would you want to be like them when you could be like Miz or Kofi Kingston?

2. The other idea is to split up the Bellas and have Nikki and Brie in a corner for a Cena vs. Bryan rematch.  You know, because the Bellas get such HUGE reactions in their singles matches and have such breakout personalities that everyone can tell them apart right?  I mean, if there’s anything missing from John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan’s A+ match at Summerslam, it was a soulless reality “star” in both of their corners.

ECW on TNN
Date: March 31, 2000
Location: Uptown Theater, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week it isn’t clear who the top heels in the company are anymore. Mike Awesome and Raven seemed to be the featured act but it also looks like the Network is the main story. Odds are it’s the latter given that they got half the TV time last week, but you never can tell in ECW. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey get us going with both guys sucking up the Kansas City crowd. Joel talks about carrying this network and that brings out a Mexican speaking (his words, not mine) Cyrus, flanked by Tajiri. The fans want Heyman as Cyrus talks about bringing the fans Rollerjam (I loved that show actually) and says the Network is taking control tonight.

Tonight he’s going to fight Super Crazy for the TV Title because idiots like Tajiri aren’t getting the job done. Tajiri isn’t pleased but Cyrus threatens to revoke his work visa and send him back to Big Japan to do jobs to Abdullah the Butcher in thumbtack matches. Cyrus repeats that he’ll be fighting for the title in case someone didn’t get it the first time.

Opening sequence.

Danny Doring and Roadkill promise to get their hands on the Dangerous Alliance tonight. One of Da Baldies comes in and steals the camera time, triggering a brawl. The other Baldies come in and the good guys are laid out.

Hardcore Heaven is May 14.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Feeling out process lasts about 8 seconds before Tajiri starts firing off kicks, only to be caught in a reverse powerbomb out of the corner. They head to the ramp for another HARD kick to take Guido down. It’s already table time but Guido comes back with a slingshot Fameasser to take over. Guido’s buddy Big Sal sends in a chair but Tajiri throws it at Guido, only to hit the table in the corner instead. A few chops put Tajiri down but he comes back with the handspring elbow as we take a break.

Back with Tajiri kicking Sal down and suplexing Guido onto the table for two. A big kick to the head puts Guido down again and Tajiri ties him up in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide to drive the chair into his face. Off to a dragon sleeper but Guido gets his foot onto the ropes. Another handspring elbow is counntered into a neckbreaker and Tajiri is in some trouble. Not enough trouble to matter though as he counters a tornado DDT into a super brainbuster for the pin on Guido.

Rating: C-. By ECW standards this wasn’t too bad. The hardcore stuff continues to plague the company though, as these two were more than capable of having a good match without the table and chair and interference. ECW fans always brag about having good wrestling and all that jazz, but at this point it was very rare to see wrestling without hardcore on the side.

Mike Awesome says anyone can come try to take the title away from him.

The Sinister Minister is in an elevator for a tarot card reading about ECW. There isn’t much to say here as he just summarizes the current storylines in the company and makes a few unfunny jokes about some lower level people, such as Elektra used to be a B, but with the help of modern medicine she’s a DD. The ending is a surprise though as he starts laughing and Mikey Whipwreck comes in laughing just as hard and destroying the table.

Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Da Baldies

Doring wants to make this a street fight because that never happens in ECW. There are three Baldies though so Doring brings out Tommy Dreamer to even things up. It’s a brawl to start of course with Grimes headbutting Dreamer low in the corner. Tommy finds a pizza cutter from somewhere and carves up Grimes for fun. Angel comes in for the save and clotheslines the invading Danny down as well. Doring comes back with a Stroke (G-Spot Sweep) to take Angel down, only to be taken down by a sitout Rock Bottom from DeVito.

Roadkill comes in with a great looking springboard clothesline and a Boss Man Slam for two. A Vader Bomb elbow crushes DeVito even more and here’s another table. Dreamer suplexes Grimes on the ramp but Roadkill misses a springboard splash through the table. Doring has a piece of guardrail and Dreamer puts a ladder on the corner. Da Baldies make a comeback and whip the non-Roadkill good guys into the ladder.

Three stereo low blows take the Baldies down but Dreamer gets powerbombed out of the corner to take him out again. Doring and Dreamer come back to snap the ladder into two Baldies’ faces. The rail is sent in but Grimes misses a Swanton bomb, landing on the steel. Dreamer DDTs Grimes onto the rail and a guillotine legdrop/top rope splash from Doring/Roadkill are enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. Usual ECW garbage brawl here but at least there was a story to it with Da Baldies trying to claim the bounty on Dreamer. Not a terrible match here as at least this time they advertised it as a street fight instead of a wrestling match. Again, at least it was short which helps a lot.

House show ads.

TV Title: Cyrus vs. Super Crazy

Before the match Cyrus reveals that it’s a SWERVE and there’s a new opponent.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Rhyno runs him over to start and takes Crazy’s head off with a clothesline. There’s a table in the corner less than two minutes into the match but Crazy comes back with a springboard spinwheel kick to the face. Rhyno heads to the floor and gets taken down by a nice plancha, drawing a big ECW chant. Back in and Crazy rains down right hands in the corner but Rhyno tosses Crazy into the air for a nice crazy. The Gore is countered with a drop toehold but Rhyno comes back with a powerbomb for a close two.

Rhyno stomps away in the corner and drops him throat first on the top rope. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down a lot. Jack Victory gets in a cheap shot from the floor to Crazy but the champion comes back with a quick springboard moonsault for two. Now it’s Rhyno in a chinlock but he comes back with something like a running powerbomb through the table. Crazy somehow kicks out at two before grabbing a quick victory roll for two. A third powerbomb gets two for Rhyno and here’s another table. Rhyno loads up a superplex, only to be countered into a sunset bomb through the table to retain Crazy’s title.

Rating: C-. There was a story here which is the main thing ECW matches often lack. I can live with the tables in there if the story makes sense, and Crazy overcoming the odds to beat Rhyno as clean as you can in ECW works well enough. Crazy is another guy that can go without all the extra stuff which makes it more annoying to see it water down his matches.

Post match the Network comes in and destroys Crazy until Sandman makes the quick (by his standards) save, but Rhyno Gores Sandman down. The Network poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. For an ECW show, this actually worked. The Network story is a good idea and fits the anti-establishment idea of ECW. There’s a story going through the episode here other than Raven vs. Dreamer and that’s what ECW needs more than anything. This wasn’t too bad but the hardcore stuff needs to be toned down.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2000
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Mercy and the big story is Kurt Angle shocked the world by beating Rock to become the new WWF Champion. Angle has only been around for about a year at this point and is still a goofy character so this was a pretty big surprise. Other than that Austin didn’t quite get his revenge on Rikishi for nearly killing him eleven months prior but you know that’s not over. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Yokozuna. Ignore them incorrectly listing him as a three time world champion.

Here’s a bandaged up Rikishi to open things up. He wants to know where Steve Austin is despite knowing that Austin was arrested for trying to crush Rikishi with a car last night. Rikishi talks about the crime that was committed last night but he’s talking about Rock losing the WWF Title. Rikishi was down there to help Rock and even though they lost the battle last night, they’ll win the war. He asks Rock to come down here to hear what Rikishi has to say so here’s the Brahma Bull.

Rikishi apologizes for last night and that he didn’t mean for Rock to lose the title. Rock says that the two for them have done a lot together over the years, but Rock wants nothing to do with him or his apology. Not that it matters as Rock will be the WWF Champion again on his own, meaning without Rikishi’s help. Rikishi understands that Rock is upset, but he’s starting to hurt the big man’s feelings.

That doesn’t really sway Rock who says Rikishi can wipe himself with his feelings. Rock talks about Rikishi having a stomach ache from eating so many hamburgers and hot dogs and suggests Rikishi leave for good. Rikishi says he’ll be there for Rock whether he likes it or not, so Rock says he has to do what he has to do. A Rock Bottom lays the fat man out.

Trish pitches a Women’s Title match against Lita if it’s under bra and panties rules. Commissioner Mick Foley goes over the rules and accepts the idea.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Lita is defending and remember that this is bra and panties. Lita tackles her down to start and takes it into the corner before this becomes a catfight. This is about two years before Trish was even remotely good in the ring so this isn’t going to be anything more than what you would expect. Trish rips off Lita’s top so Lita does the same to Trish. The champ is about to fall out of her top before suplexing Trish down, hitting the moonsault and completing the stripping to retain.

This brings out the furious Right to Censor to complain about how bad women like Lita and Trish are for America. Steven Richards brings out the newest member of the RTC: Ivory, dressed in something a Puritan would find too conservative. She’s in a white collared blouse and a long black skirt while ranting about the clothing women wear today being too revealing. Trish laughs the ideas off and we’ve got a new monster heel Diva.

Michael Cole is in the back with the new WWF Tag Team Champions, Los Conquistadors. This is a little complicated but I’ll get to the explanation later. Anyway, Edge and Christian come up to them to congratulate them on their win and prove that they’re two different teams. Remember that, as it becomes important later.

Here’s Benoit with something to say. He’s noticed that talent, will and determination are useless. Being the best technical wrestler in the world today doesn’t mean a thing. HHH may have beaten him last night but the only game that won last night was HHH getting help from his wife last night. Starting tonight, things are different because no one and nothing will stop him because his time is now. Prove him wrong.

Chris Benoit vs. Road Dogg

Benoit drives him into the corner to start and stomps Roadie down with ease. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit misses the swan dive, allowing Road Dogg to hit a few left hands. Dean Malenko comes out for a distraction though and the Crossface gets a quick submission. Basically a squash.

Cole tells Rikishi that no one wants him here but he says he’ll be here all night no matter who likes it.

HHH doesn’t like that people thought his era was over. Last night he proved Benoit wrong by showing he’s a better technical wrestler than Benoit is. Coach asks HHH about Stephanie helping Angle win the WWF Title last night but HHH says that’s his own business. However, Angle put Stephanie in harm’s way, so now it’s time for HHH to take it out on Angle.

We get a clip from last night of Austin trying to run over Rikishi and getting arrested last night.

Crash is in charge of the APA’s office while they’re out hurt. Test and Albert come in and kick him out.

Jericho gives a stagehand a Fozzie CD and plugs an upcoming performance on Heat. He turns around and spills his coffee on Kane, saying he hopes he didn’t burn him. You don’t talk about burning Kane and the Canadian is destroyed.

European Champion William Regal is in the ring and calls most of the fans uncivilized. He’s in the capitol of Connecticut which produces more handguns which kill more people than any other stage. Cue Jericho to interrupt, apparently not dead at Kane’s hands. He does have a bad left arm though.

European Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho gets the mic to insult Regal but decides Willy isn’t worth it and charges in to get us going. The bell rings and Jericho fires off chops followed by a spinwheel kick and a clothesline for two. Regal avoids a charge to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and gets two of his own off a spinning powerbomb. A tiger bomb is countered into a suplex by Jericho but Regal goes after the bad arm to take him down. They slug it out a bit but Regal blocks a clothesline by going after the arm again. Regal loads up a neckbreaker but the not very nice Jericho kicks Regal low. There’s the Lionsault but Kane comes in for the DQ.

Kane lays out Jericho with a chokeslam and lights up the corners of the ring.

T&A (Test and Albert) can’t figure out how the initials for Test and Albert Protection Agency should be spelled.

Stephanie and Angle arrive and are greeted by paparazzi.

Here are Stephanie and Kurt for their first public appearance with the title. Stephanie gives him a long winded (I’m as shocked as you are) intro before confetti and balloons rain from the ceiling. The balloons are popped as Angle talks about how America is falling apart. For most people it’s overcoming poverty but for most people here it’s about overcoming being born in Hartford, like Stephanie has done. Angle brags about winning the gold medal in Atlanta but that wasn’t enough for him. Most people would just give up, but he’s not most people.

Four years later (it was three) he came to the WWF and now he’s proven that he’s the best in this company as well. Two months after he got here, he won the European Title and tourism grew by 38% in Europe. We get an over the top highlight package with Angle narrating. He won the Intercontinental Title two months later, becoming the first Eurocontinental Champion in history. “Well except for D’Lo Brown who doesn’t count.” Then he won King of the Ring, sending sales of crowns and scepters up an amazing 40%.

Last night was the crowning achievement though by winning the WWF Title. Angle’s rookie year really is incredible and I can’t think of a better one in wrestling history. Angle has a poem for us called What Makes A Guy Super Great. He gets about two lines down until Foley interrupts. JR: “THANK GOD!” Mick asks for an ovation for Angle on his title win, but says there’s something he didn’t get last night: a celebratory hug.

Stephanie was unable to give him one due to being unconscious from a Rock Bottom. Mick is one heck of a hugger, so he’d be willing to offer his services. Foley gets all teary eyed and announces Angle’s first title defense……….right here in Hartford, Connecticut….against HHH and the Rock in a triple threat. Awesome segment here with Angle at his very best. Goofy Angle is one of my favorite characters ever and this was some of his best work.

Chyna goes looking for Eddie but finds the two women she caught him in the shower with last week. She shuts the door and a lot of violence can be heard. Chyna leaves and the bodies are shown laid out everywhere. One of those girls is Victoria/Tara.

Too Cool vs. Tazz/Raven

Tazz and Raven formed a short lived ECW tag team around this point because there was nothing else for them to do. Scotty kicks Raven in the face to start and Grandmaster adds a middle rope dropkick to take Bird Boy down again. Tazz walks into a powerslam and Raven is kicked out to the floor. The distraction lets Tazz suplex Grandmaster down and the heels take over.

Raven bulldogs him down for two and it’s already back to Tazz as the announcers ignore the match to talk about a cookbook. Raven jumps into a boot to the face and it’s off to Scotty to speed things up. A superkick gets two on Tazz and everything breaks down. Raven accidentally hits Tazz and Grandmaster hits Raven with the guillotine legdrop. Tazz makes the save and Raven returns the favor by breaking up Worm with a DDT to Scotty for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a match here really and as basic as you could ever get. Just throwing people together into a team because they used to work for another company doesn’t really work that well. They wouldn’t o anywhere as a team as there’s just nothing interesting about them together.

Christian isn’t sure which glasses to wear in the match tonight. Pete Gas from the Mean Street Posse of all people comes in and asks to see Edge.

After a break Edge comes back into his dressing room and finds the place wrecked and Christian put through a table. Apparently the Dudleys attacked him and injured his shoulder. Edge says it’s just Los Conquistadors so he’ll win the titles himself.

Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

Chyna is with Billy here so Eddie comes out before the match. Billy stops her from killing him, allowing Val to jump the Gunn (I’m here all week) and get things going early. A knee drop gets two for Venis and he peppers Billy with forearms. Billy grabs a quickly broken sleeper but gets countered into a blue thunder bomb for two. They clothesline each other down before Billy hits a Stinger Splash and a Jackhammer, only to have Steven Richards break up a Fameasser. Richards is pulled in for a bit but the Fameasser hits for the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Why Billy Gunn kept getting pushed is beyond me. He was athletic but there are some people that just don’t work as a singles guy. Billy just didn’t have it, but I’d be curious to know how much of that is because of his nickname. You can only get so far with his name and gimmick and he crashed into that ceiling far before this.

Stephanie isn’t sure whose corner she should be in tonight. She asks HHH what he wants but he says he just wants her safe.

Video on Jerry Lawler at Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleader tryouts. I think you can figure this one out.

Tag Titles: Edge vs. Los Conquistadors

Edge looks confused as the champions come to the ring. We’ll say Uno starts but is easily punched down. Uno grabs a quick small package for two and Edge is furious. Los Conquistadors both come in and hit Poetry in Motion as the fans suddenly get it. A Twist of Fate and the Swaton connect for the pin to retain the titles.

Post match the champions of course unmask as the Hardys. Cue Mick Foley to wonder how the Hardys can be the Conquistdors when they wrestled the Conquistadors last night. Foley has some footage from earlier which shows Edge and Christian admitting they were in the Conquistadors costumes last night. The problem with that is Edge and Christian weren’t allowed to challenge for the tag titles, but since they fooled him, the tag title change from last night stands. Unfortunately for Edge and Christian, tonight’s title change (there was a change?) stands as well, meaning the Hardys are YOUR Tag Team Champions.

Rikishi tells Cole to tell Rock that he’s helping him get the title back.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Stephanie is in the back with Kurt and tells him to wait before going to the ring since he’s the champ. He finally gets in and the challengers both deck him in the face for making them wait. Kurt clotheslines HHH down but celebrates too long, allowing Rock to drop him with a clothesline of his own. HHH is knocked to the floor and Kurt pounds away on Rock in the corner while he has a chance. Rock comes back with a quick Samoan drop but HHH dives in for the save.

Now it’s Rock being sent to the floor to give us another mini-match. HHH stomps the champion down in the corner and gets two of his own off a neckbreaker. Angle comes back with a gorgeous German suplex but Rock pulls him out to the floor. Everyone goes outside and Rock and HHH get into a contest to see who can slam Kurt head first into the announce table the hardest. Stephanie tries to break it up so Rock stares her down, causing HHH to get in Rock’s face. Angle has the ring bell but Rock ducks and HHH gets blasted in the side of the head instead.

That leaves Rock vs. Kurt in the ring for a bit with Rock hitting a DDT but the referee is checking on the Game. Kurt suplexes Rock down for the same result as a stretcher is brought out for HHH. Angle hits the Olympic Slam out of nowhere and Hebner FINALLY slides back in to count two. HHH gets off the stretcher and stumbles back to the ring for a quick Pedigree on Kurt. Rock saves and clotheslines HHH down before hitting a Rock Bottom on the champion. This time it’s HHH with the save but Angle breaks up a Pedigree with a belt shot to the face. Rikishi comes out to beat up Angle and that’s a DQ somehow.

Rating: C+. This picked up at the halfway point but why did we have a DQ when Rikishi came in but not for a bell or title shot to HHH’s head? Either way, good stuff here as Angle fits this role perfectly: the guy who isn’t all there at times but can be a killer in the ring. Good stuff here.

Post match here’s Austin to go after Rikishi. He clotheslines Angle on the way down the ramp before pounding away on Rikishi, only to have Kurt come back in to go after Austin for the clothesline. I like that as it’s better than just having Angle come in for no apparent reason. Rikishi escapes and a Stunner to Angle ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The key difference between today’s shows and this episode is how many different ideas there were back in 2000. You don’t see the same finishes or repetitive matches or the same stories being used over and over again until we get to a PPV to shake things up. There’s an idea to everything going on and instead of using a batch of jobbers over and over again, you get some fresh matches. It makes the show WAY easier to sit through and far more enjoyable as a result.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Seriously.If you can stand to think about it, last year Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and went on a joyride around San Antonio.  During that scene, he was wearing a Sheamus t-shirt and black jeans.  The thing is, that made him look far more intimidating and serious, which is what the segment needed.  Sheamus, like many other wrestlers, has a physical attribute that makes them look less than intimidating.  Also it doesn’t help that he’s often in wrestling trunks.

The point is, at times wearing street clothes can help a segment quite a bit.

Monday Nitro #139
Date: June 1, 1998
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re less than two weeks to go from the Great American Bash and we really don’t know much about the card so far. The main event will be Hart/Hogan vs. Savage/Piper, but the interesting (by comparison) question is what happens to Sting and the tag titles. Odds are Sting is going to pick a side soon, but that doesn’t really do much overall. It’s just more of the same faction wars which have dominated the company for months now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of Sting over the years and all of his different looks.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about Sting for a few minutes and Tony is sure we’ll get the decision tonight.

A white limo with a WCW logo pulls up and it’s JJ Dillon, Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T and Goldberg.

We see Luger’s recruitment speech to Sting from Thunder.

The fireworks display kills even more time after a break.

Nitro Girls.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ernest Miller

Miller starts with a backdrop but can’t hit a few spin kicks to the face. Off to an armbar on Jerry but Flynn comes back with some kicks in the corner. Now it’s Flynn with an armbar followed by some kicks to the arm but Miller comes back with a fireman’s carry powerslam. The latest version of the Feliner (in this case Kofi Kingston’s Trouble in Paradise) misses by about eight inches but it’s enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D-. This is the same problem you always have with the guys in these matches: just because they can throw kicks doesn’t make them interesting. Jerry Flynn is an uninteresting of a wrestler as you’ll ever see and Miller was only starting to become competent in the ring at this point.

A black limo pulls up, revealing NWO Wolfpack minus Hennig.

Here’s the Wolfpack with something to say. Hennig is with them on crutches despite not being in the limo. Nash does a survey about which NWO the fans are here to see with the red and black winning. Luger gives another recruitment speech and offers a challenge to Giant and Hogan to face himself and Nash.

We see Bret recruiting Sting on Thunder.

Saturn/Raven vs. Public Enemy

Saturn pounds Grunge into the corner to start before it’s quickly off to Raven who walks around but makes no contact before tagging back out. Public Enemy comes back with a double elbow to the jaw before Rocco stays in to work over Saturn’s back. Grunge comes in for some shoulders in the corner before Public Enemy drops Saturn with a double clothesline again. A modified top rope Demolition Decapitation gets two for Grunge but Rocco misses a Lionsault press. Raven makes a blind tag but accidentally blasts Saturn in the back of the head.

He and Saturn stare each other down but Grunge clotheslines both of them. They fall to the floor for a dive from Rocco before going back inside for a swinging neckbreaker from Grunge to Saturn. The Drive By (the Quebecers’ old Cannonball) crushes Saturn and Rocco hits a flip dive over the top and onto Raven on a table but the wood doesn’t break. Rocco is fine with that and hits the same thing again to break the table down. Grunge is sent into the chair that Rocco is holding, sending it into Rock’s face. Saturn hits a quick Death Valley Driver on Grunge but Raven sneaks in for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was mainly an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. What there is something wrong with is this style of wrestling in front of all audiences. The people here weren’t digging the hardcore schtick which is why it shouldn’t be done all the time in a major company like WCW. That kind of stuff is for a niche audience, not a national one.

Post match Raven says he won before throwing in Saturn’s name too. He’s also rehired the Flock for protection against Kanyon. It’s also Saturn vs. Kanyon at the PPV.

More of Luger recruiting Sting from Thunder.

More Nitro Girls.

The Nitro Party winner of the week has a sign saying “La Parka Chair Club For Men.” Ok point for a cute line.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Alex Wright

There’s no Eddie here this time. Alex easily takes Chavo around before hitting a hiptoss and dancing a lot. Back up and Chavo gets caught in a backbreaker so he can dance even more. Chavo gets ticked off and grabs him by the throat for some choking and right hands. Wright bails to the floor and gets caught by a suicide dive to put both guys down. They whip each other into the barricade before heading back inside for Chavo to miss a charge into the corner, allowing Alex to get an STF for a very fast tap out.

Post match Eddie comes out and tries to keep the guys from fighting. Alex leaves so Eddie can tell Chavo he was talking to grandma who has freed Chavo. Therefore there’s no need for them to have a match at the Great American Bash. Chavo says oh yes there is a need because Eddie is trying to hide from him.

We take a break and we’re supposed to have Randy Savage for a chat but Piper’s music plays instead. Now it’s the Wolfpack song and here are Savage and Liz. Randy accuses Tony of wanting to date Piper before calling out Roddy himself. Roddy thinks Savage needs a psychiatrist but Savage wants a match with Piper one on one after the tag match. Piper says it’s on before asking Savage if his parents built him a swing facing the wall as a kid. Piper doesn’t believe Bret is in the NWO until he sees him in an NWO shirt, which he somehow ties into Savage being a Muppet and the Washington Capitals.

MORE from Thunder with Bret asking where Sting stands.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s JJ with something to say. Tony is doing the interview again instead of Gene for some reason. JJ says that he thinks Sting is going to stay in WCW even though it’s not cool and he had trouble when he stayed with WCW last year.

NWO Hollywood arrives in another limo.

After a break here’s the black and white for their interview time. Bischoff brags about how awesome Hogan is before Hogan talks about being in Hollywood to make a movie. Apparently Scott Steiner was in the movie with him or at least was hanging around the set. On the way to the arena tonight he was watching the show and heard the challenge. He and Giant are glad to accept to show Sting how awesome the black and white is. Bret opens his shirt to reveal a Hogan shirt, proclaiming Hulk to be the greatest of all time. Hogan says a t-shirt is worth 1000 words and promises to own Savage’s soul.

Heenan joins commentary as the Nitro Girls dance again.

Konnan vs. Lenny Lane

Konnan easily takes him down by the arm to start and gets two off a slick rollup into a sunset flip. Off to a Boston Crab with Konnan lifting up Lane by the arms and rocking him back and forth for extra torment. Lane comes back with a bulldog and stomps away before getting two off some side rolls. Konnan slams him out of the corner with an Alabama Slam before the 187 and Tequila Sunrise are good for the pin. Not terrible actually.

Here are Hennig and Rude with something to say. Rude says he doesn’t have to brag about Hennig being a 3 time world champion or his 3000 wins when Goldberg only has 89 wins in a row. Apparently Hennig has a bad knee and has to take ten days off. Curt calls out Konnan and asks him to face Goldberg in his upcoming matches around the country. Konnan is cool with the idea.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Eddie Guerrero

Finlay grabs a quick headlock and runs Eddie over with a shoulder block. A snapmare puts Eddie down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Eddie counters into an armbar and rakes his boot over the champion’s eye as only he can get away with. A top rope hurricanrana attempt is broken up and Finlay gets two off a belly to back suplex. Back to the chinlock for a few moments before Finlay rams him face first into the apron. Finlay counters a sleeper and dropkicks Fit down before pounding away in the corner. Not that it matters as Chavo comes in and the match is thrown out before he does anything.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending made it more of an angle than anything else. I like that Chavo cost him the match without Eddie losing as it keeps both guys looking strong at the same time. Finlay is fine as the TV Champion, but I’m still not sure why he of all people got the belt. At least he isn’t horrible though.

Chris Jericho is at the Capitol Building but is thrown out almost immediately. After the Capitol police throw him out, Jericho claims to have talked to Clarence Thomas and he’s sure Jericho has a case. Jericho talks to other people protesting some issue and tells them he should be Cruiserweight Champion. He isn’t allowed on the White House lawn so it’s off to the Library of Congress to look for a section on WCW title belts.

Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera

Jericho calls out JJ to give him the evidence he’s acquired but gets Juvy. They trade hammerlocks to start until Jericho flips Juvy down. Back up and Guerrera chops away before going up top for a slightly botched hurricanrana. Jericho comes right back with a butterfly backbreaker, good for two. A standing hurricanrana gets two for Juvy and he botches another move by rolling up Jericho’s body and gently laying him down instead of snapping off a DDT.

The Juvy Driver looks to set up the 450 but Jericho crotches him on the top. Guerrera fights back but another hurricanrana attempt is countered into the Liontamer, only to have Juvy roll out and send Jericho to the floor. A slingshot hurricanrana takes Jericho down again but as the referee is with Chris, Reese comes in and chokebombs Juvy down, giving Jericho an easy pin.

Rating: D+. Juvy’s botches really brought this match down as it looked like half his moves were trying to make sure Jericho wasn’t hurt at all rather than trying to pin him. On top of that they were nowhere near as fast as their matches usually were which was often the highlight of their stuff. Bad match here and mainly due to Juvy.

Hour #3 begins.

We recap the best of 7 series with Benoit leading 2-1 after winning on Saturday Night.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start with Booker elbowing Benoit down for two as Finlay watches from the ramp. A powerslam gets two more on the Canadian and we hit an armbar. Booker goes up for a spinning cross body to send Benoit out to the floor. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a mudhole stomping by Benoit. A snap suplex puts Booker down and it’s back to Finlay for some trash talk.

Booker hits a quick elbow to the jaw and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and the forearm to the head gets two on Chris and more chinlockery abounds. Benoit fights up again and hooks a German suplex but can’t follow up. Some right hands have Booker in trouble but he comes back with the ax kick for no cover. Benoit is all screw this getting kicked in the head thing and counters a suplex into the Crossface for the win and a 3-1 lead.

Rating: C+. The matches are good but it’s getting a bit repetitive at this point, given that these guys have been feuding for weeks beforehand. That being said though, I could watch Benoit drive people down into the Crossface all day. Booker isn’t going to be hurt by feuding with Benoit either, but a match with someone else would be a nice breather.

The announcers discuss Sting for I think the fifth time, not counting talking about him during matches of course.

We get the same video on Sting that opened the show.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Riggs

Riggs sends Page into the corner so DDP shoves him down with ease. Page stomps him down in the corner before taking out Sick Boy. An over the shoulder gutbuster sets up a fireman’s carry Diamond Cutter for the fast win.

Sick Boy gets a Cutter as well.

US Title: La Parka vs. Goldberg

La Parka cracks him in the head with a chair before the bell but Goldberg no sells it. A spear and Jackhammer are the only moves of the match.

The Giant/Hollywood Hogan vs. Lex Luger/Kevin Nash

Bret is with the black and white again. Luger now wrestles in long black pants instead of trunks. Hogan and Luger pose at each other to start before Luger shoves him into the corner and flexes a bit. A cheap shot gets Hogan out of a test of strength and he goes to the throat to take over. Off to Nash who fires off knees to the ribs and follows up with the corner elbows. They trade clotheslines and Hogan slugs away, only to tag in Giant for the real battle of the big men.

Big Kev pounds away on Giant in the corner but Giant superkicks him down in a nice display of athleticism. Giant misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Luger to pound away. Another clothesline puts Luger down and it’s back to Hogan again as the slow heel offense begins. Nash walks into the ring anyway and kicks Giant in the face as everything breaks down. Hogan hits Nash in the back with a tag title belt for the DQ.

Rating: D. There’s not much to say about this one. This was exactly what you would expect it to be. It was mainly kicking and punching which is what you expect but that doesn’t make this any better to sit through. At least it was short, but that’s not really a plus most of the time.

Post match here’s Sting from the ceiling with a buttoned up trench coat. He takes it off to reveal….the black and the white. Hogan and Giant celebrate but Sting decks Hogan and slams Giant (with ease) and rips off the shirt, revealing the red and black. Tony sounds THRILLED with this development to end the show after about three minutes of Wolfpack celebrating.

Overall Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade as it’s all about one idea. They did a decent job of getting that idea across, but three hours is a LONG time to get to push one single thing. I did like the false finish as it was obvious Sting was going to the Wolfpack but at least they teased a swerve. Just too much focus on the NWO here though, and who does this leave as WCW’s main guys? Piper and Page? Goldberg is a rising star but he hasn’t proven himself against big names yet. Wait why am I even asking? WCW has nothing to do with this show.

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It’s still not a good sign.Raw got a 2.71, down from last week.  Monday Night Football last night was a horrible matchup, meaning it shouldn’t have been much competition for WWE.  The numbers have been down since the start of both the Bryan push as well as the new regime storyline.  Bryan isn’t the main focus but he’s still a big deal on the show.  These ratings aren’t a good sign for his long term future as a top guy though.

Continental Wrestling Federation TV
Date: October 22, 1988
Location: Montgomery Civic Center, Montgomery, Alabama
Commentators: Charlie Platt, Dutch Mantel

This is the last episode I have of this show and THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT. I can’t take much more of this horrible and boring show. The company isn’t remembered at all and like I said, there’s a reason for that: it’s not interesting at all. No one has anything resembling a personality and the champion is lucky to be on TV 15 seconds a week. Let’s get to it.

The champ is actually wrestling tonight. I’m shocked. Oh great: the Party Patrol is here AGAIN.

Bullet talks about his issues as of late. We get a clip of last week with Bullet saving the Rich’s (they’re the Party Patrol if anyone is getting lost) from a beatdown by the tag champions last week. Brad Armstrong will be here before the end of the night. As Bullet leaves a guy in a hat with long hair but his face covered up jumps Bullet. And it’s Tony Anthony, the Dirty White Boy. Stubbs comes in too and it’s a big beatdown. The Rich’s make the save. This is still boring but it’s BY FAR the most developed and interesting angle in this company at the moment.

House show ads. What else did you expect?

Tom Pritchard vs. The Invader

Ok this is weird. Either this is in a different arena or they really don’t know how to do lighting, because the arena is full of people in one shot and in the next you can only see about three rows. Invader is just a guy in a mask. Pritchard is heavyweight champion. Now you can see like 15 rows full of people. This is a very oddly designed building. Mantel says Bullet has a bad shoulder injury. Invader hammers away but walks into a backdrop. Pritchard punches him down and drops an elbow for one. Off to a chinlock and then a middle rope cross body gets two. Enziguri gets the pin for the champ.

Rating: D. Mantel says this is a confidence builder for Pritchard. He’s the heavyweight champion. Why would he need a confidence builder? For a face champion, Pritchard certainly does have problems beating what appear to be just basic heel opponents. The lack of a feud for him isn’t making me interested in the title, especially when the Dirty White Boy vs. Bullet is clearly the top feud in the company.

Second batch of ads.

CWF Heavyweight Championship Tournament Final: Tom Pritchard vs. Dirty White Boy

This is from Birmingham and is the tournament final. Why we’re seeing this after knowing who won is beyond me but whatever. It’s joined in progress and Pritchard is on commentary for it. Neckbreaker gets two for White Boy. All White Boy at this point. Ron Fuller, a big shot in this area, is guest referee.

Pritchard starts a comeback with punches but walks into an atomic drop. This is apparently 25 minutes in and their third match each of the night. Anthony misses something off the top and Stubbs tries to interfere, only for Fuller to take care of him. Someone runs in and drills Anthony during the distraction for the pin. Well that was pretty heelish. Not enough to rate but what we saw was bad.

Party Patrol vs. The Count/The Grappler #2

Please….make it short. Davey and Grappler start things off and Davey uses that wide variety of arm drags of his. Arm work abounds and it’s on the right arm which is rather odd. The Rich’s are in the national top ten rankings of tag teams. I want to see these rankings. Then I want to slap whoever writes them. Off to Johnny and the Rich’s control with their usual boring stuff.

The camera cuts to just a shot of their feet as Grappler gets a suplex to take over. Count misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Johnny again. Or is that Davey? Actually who freaking cares? Headknocker takes Count (another masked guy) down and things break down a bit. Grappler is gone and Johnny suplexes Count. Off to Davey and they botch a Thesz Press for the pin.

Rating: F. I hate these guys. That is all.

House shows.

Willie B. Hert vs. Chuck Allen

Allen is a blonde dude and Hert is the same annoying dancing man that he’s always been. Willie grabs the arm and the announcers make fun of Allen for being fat. And apparently the director got bored with the match as we cut to a promo from Ron Fuller. The match continues to be boring as Fuller talks about how he’ll keep his title. The promo has nothing to do with this match but I’d rather hear Fuller talk than watch it so there you go. Hert is destroying him anyway. Suplex puts Allen down and pounds away. Allen rakes his eyes and that’s all of his offense. Neckbreaker and headbutt end this.

Rating: D-. When the TV show doesn’t want to watch the match on it, I think you should probably know how good things are. This was just an extended squash by what I presume is supposed to be a fun character in Hert. He never really does anything serious so what else would he be classified as?

Mr. Martin is here with his new protege. It’s….MASAHIRO CHONO??? Martin challenges Lord Humongous (Sid Vicious) to a loser leaves town match against Kokina (Yokozuna). I’m pretty sure Sid lost so he could go to the NWA.

Mr. Chono vs. The Equalizer

Allegedly this is Chono’s American debut. That’s certainly Masahiro Chono. Equalizer is another masked dude. I believe we’re clipped to Chono dominating. A backbreaker gets two as he pulls Equalizer up. He slaps him down in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. Equalizer gets in some basic shots and Chono is like I DON’T THINK SO IN JAPANESE! Owen Hart style spinwheel kick puts Equalizer down and a Cobra Clutch ends this. Total squash but what a random thing to see here.

House show ads. New idea there.

Ken Wayne says he’s Danny Davis’ worst nightmare. He won the title back from Davis at the Road to Birmingham so here’s a clip of it. It’s also hair vs. hair but since it’s clipped I won’t bother listing it as a full match. Clipped to Danny GUSHING blood. Top rope legdrop hits for Wayne and we’re told this is 30 minutes in. Wayne for to pin him but Davis rolls him up very quickly for the surprise pin. Post match Wayne hit him with a Coke bottle and cut Davis’ hair anyway.

Bullet is back with his arm in a sling. Stubbs tries to jump him but Bullet beats him down anyway. Anthony pops up and they work over Bullet’s arm again. Brad Armstrong makes the save. Willie B. Hert comes out also and he and Brad say they won’t let this happen to Bullet again.

Overall Rating: D. Better show but that’s probably due to the show featuring a lot of stuff that wasn’t from this week. The Bullet storyline wasn’t horrible but it was all they had going for it. Chono was a very surprising appearance but it was just in a squash and he would be back in Japan pretty soon. Probably the best of the four shows but that’s not saying much.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2013
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the Cell pay per view this Sunday and almost everything is set. Actually everything has pretty much been set since Battlefield, hence why this show isn’t likely to be very interesting. Tonight we have Big Show losing his name to HHH (whatever that might mean) and the contract signing for Orton vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tag titles changing hands last week.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to get us going. Stephanie runs down the card for Sunday’s show and HHH talks about Shawn guaranteeing a new champion. HHH mentions the word respect and Big Show hacks into the satellite feed and rants about respect. For some reason his eyes are looking just to the left of the camera. Stephanie isn’t sure how he’s on the screen but HHH and Big Show yell at each other about money and lawsuits. Big Show says HHH must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but any side of Stephanie is a bad side to wake up on. Stephanie cuts the feed and HHH says on with the show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield

Dean cranks on the arm to start but Daniel armdrags out of it and puts on an armbar of his own. A running clothesline gets two for Bryan and it’s back to the arm again for some psychology. Bryan fires off a kick to the arm and cranks on it even more. Dean blocks the running dropkick in the corner and drops an elbow to take over. A suplex gets two for Dean but Bryan comes right back with a knee to the chest and a suplex of his own. Ambrose rolls to the floor to avoid the headbutt and we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of an Ambrose chinlock, only to be caught by a knee to the ribs to put him down. A running dropkick against the ropes drops Bryan again and it’s off to a quick armbar. Dean drops him with a back elbow and it’s off to a triangle choke. Bryan rolls out and counters into the full surfboard hold before pulling Dean’s neck back for an added choke. Dean goes to the eyes to send Bryan to the apron, only to have Daniel pound away with right hands.

Bryan goes up top but gets pulled down with a superplex for two. We hit the chinlock again but Bryan counters into a backslide for two of his own. A double cross body puts both guys down but it’s Bryan up first with right hands. He backflips over Dean in the corner and takes him down with the running clothesline. The running dropkick in the corner connects and Bryan snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two. A tornado DDT of all things is countered by Dean into a spinebuster for two.

Daniel backdrops him to the floor and there’s the FLYING GOAT for good measure. Back in and a missile dropkick takes Dean down yet again. Bryan nips up and fires off the YES kicks to the vested chest. The big kick to the head is countered into a rollup but Bryan counters into the YES Lock for the submission at 16:20.

Rating: B. Good match here and a good way to put Bryan over before he goes into the title match on Sunday. However, the usual complaint about a single champion losing holds true here. Rollins or Reigns could have done the job here and the result would have been exactly the same. Really good stuff though and a good way to start Raw.

Here’s Punk for the hard sell for the match on Sunday. He talks about the Cell defining legacies and how his legacy will be defined by what he does to Heyman inside the Cell. Heyman thinks Ryback can help him, but there is nothing Punk won’t do to win. The point isn’t to make Paul submit or pin him, but rather to put Ryback to sleep and then torture Heyman with every single inch of the Cell that he can. The winner of the match will be the best in the world.

HHH and Stephanie give Vickie some directions before going into their office to find Shawn Michaeles. Shawn and HHH hug like old friends and Shawn cracks some jokes about HHH being a powerful businessman. HHH says Bryan can be the champion but not the face of the company. Shawn says people said that about both he and HHH back in the day but Stephanie cuts them off and rants about Big Show. Shawn points out that Stephanie used to think it was funny when DX hacked the feed but Stephanie doesn’t think it’s funny now. Luckily Shawn didn’t have to grow up so he’s going to go have some fun.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino, Khali and Horny are all dressed as Elvis. We start off with some Marella Martial Arts as the announcers make music jokes, including a Gentrys reference by JBL (Jimmy Hart’s band). Slater takes him down and puts on a quick body vice before sending Santino into the corner for some shoulders. Heath misses a charge into the post and Santino comes back with the usual. The Cobra has an Elvis wig on too but Slater kicks him in the ribs. Slater goes to the middle rope but Santino nips up and Slater jumps into the Cobra for the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D+. Do I really need to explain this one?

Post match Santino says there’s just one King in Memphis and has Jerry get up on the announce table for some Elvis dancing.

The fans want to see Punk vs. Undertaker from Wrestlemania simulated in WWE 14 instead of Shawn vs. Razor, Rock vs. Austin (WM 15) or Savage vs. DiBiase.

We recap the opening segment.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler throws Orton to the floor to start but Dolph makes the mistake of following, allowing Orton to send him into the barricade and clothesline him down. Back inside we go but Orton takes it right back to the floor. Ziggler escapes the Elevated DDT and drives Orton into the barricade to stomp him down. Orton kicks Dolph away and heads back inside to keep up the fast opening pace.

Ziggler pounds on Orton in the corner and a clothesline is good for two. Orton takes Ziggler down again and grabs an armbar which transitions into a chinlock to give us a breather. Back up and Ziggler scores with a neckbreaker and the Fameasser gets two. Ziggler’s Stinger Splash is caught in a t-bone suplex and the Elevated DDT lays him out again. Orton takes forever to load up the RKO and Ziggler comes back with a dropkick for two, only to charge into the RKO for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C+. I was liking this match for the most part with the pace being very fast throughout the match. Ziggler didn’t have much of a chance but at least he was showing some fire out there instead of just going through the motions. The false ending with the dropkick before the RKO was a nice touch as well.

Video on Cena’s rehab.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Brie takes Tamina down to start but the Twin is knocked to the floor with ease. Back in and a snap suplex gets two on Brie before we hit the cravate. Off to Nikki who is easily slammed down before it’s off to AJ, who gets the biggest reaction of the match. Nikki fights out of a chinlock and makes the hot tag off to Brie, sending the fans back into their coma. Brie speeds things up and dropkicks Brie down, only to get caught in a half crab. Brie hits a bad looking knee to the ribs before accidentally kneeing Tamina in the head. Not that it matters though as the Bella Buster pins AJ at 5:27.

Rating: D. The Bellas look good in their outfits but man alive this face turn isn’t working. The problem is the double turn by the Bellas and AJ depends on if you like Total Divas. If you like the show, you buy the double turn. If you don’t like Total Divas, you side with AJ, even though there aren’t any shades of gray in the story. AJ is meant to be the heel and Brie as the girl who is fighting for what she wants, even though no one seems to care.

We look at Big E. Langston’s face turn on Sunday before Paul Heyman and Guys run into Renee Young in the back. Heyman goes into a full blown over the top sales pitch about why you would want to see an execution live on Sunday. He doesn’t stop for air for about 45 seconds, ranting and raving about Punk fantasizing about killing him and then going into a story about being a volcano erupting and villagers running while worshipping CM Punk.

Heyman then stops and says he’s totally in control of his monster Ryback, meaning Punk can’t get his hands on Heyman. He won’t be locked in a Cell with Punk, but rather Punk is locked in a Cell with him. Langston comes up and asks who is a marginal talent now. The Heyman guys step up to him and Langston vs. Axel is made for later tonight. Find this Heyman promo if you can as it’s very entertaining stuff.

We get a video from 2007/2011 of Shawn talking about training Daniel Bryan. We even get really rare clips of Daniel Bryan in the Texas Wrestling Alliance, which was Shawn’s indy company.

Wyatt Family vs. The Miz/Kofi Kingston

Rowan runs over Miz to start and takes him down with a quick backbreaker. Harper comes in and puts on a front facelock while rolling around on the mat. Off to a traditional headlock for a bit before Miz pops up, only to charge into a Michinoku Driver for two. Harper is kicked away and it’s finally off to Kofi to speed things up. Kofi jumps up into the corner for a nice hurricanrana followed by jumping back to the top for a cross body for two. Rowan misses a big boot and is knocked to the floor before Trouble in Paradise takes him out again. Not that it matters as Harper takes Kofi’s head off with the clothesline for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C. This was another fast paced match and that’s what Raw needs to do this week. They had a very dull offering last week so fast paced stuff with characters like the Wyatts is a good idea. Miz vs. Bray will be a good squash for Wyatt and it’s kind of nice to see a build like this for a change.

Post match the Wyatts take out Miz and tie him in the ropes so Bray can talk about the afterlife being real.

Big E. Langston vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Heyman Guys jump Langston before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Langston being caught in the numbers game. Langston manages to fight back and clothesline Axel down, only to have Heyman blast him with a kendo stick as a distraction. Ryback runs Langston over with a shot to the back but here’s Punk with the stick for the save. Vickie pops up to make it a tag match.

Big E. Langston/CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel/Ryback

Joined in progress with Punk in control of Axel before bringing in Langston for a double hiptoss. Quickly back to Punk who is taken down by Ryback as JBL talks about what a great agent Heyman is. Off to Axel for a chinlock but Punk fights up and hits a spinning cross body for two. Ryback comes in again and powers Punk down, only to be caught by the high kick to the head. The hot tag brings in Langston to clean house and hit the Warrior Splash. There goes the strap and Punk hits the springboard clothesline to Ryback. The Big Ending finishes Axel at 6:35 shown.

Rating: D+. The expiration date on this feud was a few weeks ago, but it looks like it’s finally done this Sunday. There was just nothing to see here from Punk vs. the Heyman Guys, but Langston gave things a breath of fresh air. He’s SO much better as a face and giving him a feud with Axel at least gives him something to do. Match was there at best.

Punk chases Heyman into the crowd post match.

R-Truth shills WWE merchandise. He’s energetic if nothing else. You can get 20% off tonight only if you use the promo code “Truth”.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans

The Real Americans charge the ring and throw in black flags before posing with them up on the ropes. Colter is on commentary again here. Tensai chops Swagger into the corner but Cesaro comes in off a blind tag to take over. A jumping seated senton gets two and it’s back to Swagger as Colter rants about Los Matadores. The Vader Bomb/double stomp combo gets two on Tensai and it’s off to a Cesaro chinlock. Tensai fights up and tags in to Brodus, only to have him get caught by an uppercut, setting up the Cesaro Swing to Clay. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock and the submission on Brodus at 3:34.

Rating: D. The match was nothing of note and was just there for a way to do post match stuff with Colter. The shine that the Swing had given Cesaro is already gone and WWE has no problem with just letting it go by because we need to use the Americans to put over Los Matadores. Nothing match.

Post match Colter pulls out a bull whip to use on Torito. When he wrestled as Dutch Mantell, Colter’s trademark was a bull whip.

We get a retrospective on Cena’s career. Think they’re pushing his return hard enough?

Here are Cody and Goldust for commentary, complete with a remixed version of their combined themes.

Usos vs. Shield

Despite the Usos winning the #1 contendership fairly, this is for the title shot on Sunday. Jey starts with Rollins and gets a quick pair of near falls off some rollups. They slug it out with Jey sending Rollins to the floor and nailing a great looking dive. Back in and it’s off to Reigns vs. Jimmy with the twin cranking on Roman’s arm. The announcers talk about JBL being the new GM of NXT as Jimmy has to fight out of the Shield corner. Rollins speeds things up and drops Jimmy throat first on the top rope for two before dropkicking him out to the floor.

Cody: “If you built a liar from the ground up he would loo just like John Bradshaw Layfield.” Goldust: “OH SNAP!” Back in and Reigns puts on a front facelock but Jimmy fights out and gets to the apron. Roman can’t suplex him into the ring but some Ambrose interference brings Jimmy to the floor as we take a break. Back with Reigns getting two off a suplex and getting frustrated at Jimmy kicking out again. We hit another chinlock before Jimmy fights up and DDTs Roman down. Rollins comes in but gets backdropped to the floor, only to have Roman make a blind tag as Seth goes over.

Jimmy catches Reigns with an enziguri and there’s the hot tag. Things speed up with Jey cleaning house but Reigns takes his head off with a clothesline out of the corner for two. Reigns breaks up a pin off the toss in the air Samoan Drop and a powerslam puts Jimmy down. Jey comes back with the superkick to Reigns but the Superfly Splash hits knees. Ambrose gets in a fight with the tag champions, drawing in Rollins and the Usos for the no contest at 14:15.

Rating: C+. Match was your usual good stuff with Shield but the ending was pretty clearly going to a three way at the PPV. Shield winning unfairly screws over the Usos and there’s no way they were doing face vs. face for the titles. Hopefully the Usos FINALLY get their title reign out of this though.

Post match the four good guys clear the ring of the Shield.

HHH and Stephanie are in the ring for the contract signing and are soon joined by Orton, Bryan and Shawn. There isn’t much special to see here: Orton talks about how he’ll be the face of the WWE after Sunday, Bryan says he’ll prove how great he really is and both guys sign. HHH says that Bryan is just like Edge, Jericho or RVD: popular and talented but not the one. “If any of those guys had been the face of the company back in the day, we’d all be working for Ted Turner right now.” Oh good grief.

Bryan tells HHH to put on some ring gear and he’ll show him how great he can be. HHH says when he gets back in the ring, he’ll be doing it against a star like Undertaker or Rock or Lesnar. Bryan isn’t even worth his time because Bryan is a B+ player. Shawn shouldn’t have wasted his time training Bryan and that’s enough to get Shawn into this chat. He vouches for Bryan and says he’s very good before asking HHH what happened to him.

What happened to the guy that raged against the machine with him? What happened to HHH over the years? Randy is worried, but HHH says Shawn will do what’s right at the end of the day. Shawn says he’ll do what’s right for the business he loves and asks why HHH hates Bryan. Is it because of the beard, or because HHH has been proven wrong?

Orton says Bryan can’t beat him and they get in each others’ faces, but a semi truck is shown on the screen driving into the arena. Big Show is driving and running over various objects in his path. He gets in the arena and does the Bryan finger point while telling Orton to turn around. Bryan lays out Orton with the running knee to end the show. That’s quite the bizarre ending.

Overall Rating: C+. Tonight’s show was a nice change of pace from last wee. They kept things moving tonight and that’s exactly what Raw lacked last week. Nothing really came off as great but they did a decent enough job of setting up what they’ve got for us on Sunday. It still doesn’t feel like an important PPV, but at least they built it up somewhat tonight. So much better than last week.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – YES Lock

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Bella Twins b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee – Bella Buster to Lee

Wyatt Family b. Kofi Kingston/The Miz – Clothesline to Kingston

CM Punk/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Big Ending to Axel

Real Americans b. Tons of Funk – Patriot Lock to Clay

Usos vs. Shield went to a no contest when Cody Rhodes and Goldust interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: