Back again with the second of four straight weeks of TV that I have here. We’re done with the Road to Birmingham now so it should be interesting to see where things go. Gilbert is gone, Pritchard is the champion, the tag titles didn’t change hands, and other than that there isn’t much else I can think of. Let’s get to it.

A masked guy is gunning for the Dirty White Boy. No name is given for him.

This is the “Showing of the Stars”, whatever that means. The voiceover lists off some of the people in action tonight.

Private Powell vs. Davey Rich

Well at least it’s not Davey Richards. He’s part of the Party Patrol you would hear about in the previous week’s show. The ring is small, like a WCW one. Rich takes over with a headscissors and a headlock. He works the arm which goes on for awhile. I think they botch a flip of some sort as I think Powell was supposed to use a monkey flip kind of thing but Rich jumped and crotched himself. Back to the arm and this is REALLY dull. Rich is in Hogan colors. They botch a sunset flip out of the corner and Rich gets the pin.

Rating: F. So they spent five minutes working on the arm and botching half of the moves they were trying? This was awful and there was nothing redeeming at all, even imaging Hogan being a member of the Party Patrol. Nothing to see here and not a good sign for the rest of the show.

The Bullet (Bob Armstrong in a mask, the guy that opened the show) is here but first let’s hear about those house shows. Bullet says that there are a lot of people here with talent and that’s about it. Dirty White Boy comes out to call him out and the match is next.

The Bullet vs. Dirty White Boy

They immediately slug it out and apparently this is a big feud. The White Boy (also known as Tony Anthony. Isn’t that a little redundant?) hammers away to take over. This is more of a brawl than a match, but with the names in there, were you expecting anything else? Off to a chinlock by Anthony. Make that a LONG chinlock which gets two arm drops. Bullet hits a clothesline and starts his comeback. There’s a whip brought in from somewhere and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D-. This was only somewhat better but it’s mostly punching and chinlocks. Oh before I forget: Anthony was in WWF for awhile as T.L. Hopper if you remember him. Bullet is Road Dogg’s dad and that’s about the extent of his fame. Not much of a match and I’m assuming the history of this is a lot more interesting.

Post match Jerry Stubbs and the Dirty White Girl (seriously) comes in for a beatdown. The Party Patrol makes the save.

Since this is an old TV show, we get part of a commercial. This commercial features ERNEST P. WORRELL!!!!!! He’s from Lexington so he’s kind of a local hero.

The announcers talk about how the Rich Cousins (Party Patrol) are awesome. If you don’t believe us, here’s a taped match with them in it.

Pat Rose/Deuce Mason vs. Davey Rich/Johnny Rich

Johnny vs. Rose gets us going. Off to Deuce and this is looking like a total squash. Yep a shoulder block (seriously?) ends this in like 40 seconds.

Ken Wayne is here on commentary for the next match. He’s the US Junior Heavyweight Champion again.

Tom Pritchard vs. The Grappler II

This is after the Road to Birmingham tournament which Pritchard won but there’s no reference or title to be seen. He references having his hair and having a new car so this is after the Birmingham show. Grappler is a guy in a mask and the original was a huge deal in Portland. Ok so Pritchard is officially Heavyweight Champion. My guess is this was taped before the Birmingham show with commentary added later. Very basic match and we talk about the Night of Champions coming up. Pritchard controls with a headlock….and that’s enough of that.

We cut to the back where White Boy and Stubbs (the new tag champions which wasn’t mentioned when they were in the ring) talking about Bullet and the Rich Cousins. They switch to an inset window and Pritchard keeps the headlock the whole time. Grappler finally hits a suplex to take over and we talk about an elimination tag match coming up. They’re not exactly Survivor Series matches and the rules are too complex to figure out. Jerry Stubbs is called Mr. Perfect here. That gimmick was either about to start in WWF or already had.

Grappler hooks something resembling a chinlock but it’s more like a nerve hold. Pritchard makes the comeback and Wayne complains about everything he does. I guess this is to build up to a match between them. Pritchard hits a spin kick to the ribs and makes his real comeback. Grappler slams him and drops a leg for two. Pritchard hooks a backslide but the time limit runs out at two. The new heavyweight champion just wrestled to a draw in his first match as champion. WOW.

Rating: D. Honestly when this match was going on for awhile, I jokingly thought to myself that they would go to a draw in the first match in Pritchard’s reign, but then chuckled and said there’s no way they would do that. AND THEN THEY DID IT. The match was nothing special, but I don’t get the booking here in the slightest.

Big brawl post match. Wayne offers to let the announcer touch his hair before he goes.

White Lightning (this company borders on racial issues with these white themed names) talks about the elimination matches they mentioned earlier. We get an old match of Horner’s and the announcer tells us he wins. Well thanks for the drama.

Tim Horner vs. Private Powell

Did the world really demand two Private Powell matches? Bullett is on commentary. Powell takes over to start but walks into an atomic drop and bridging O’Connor Roll for the pin. Lasted maybe 90 seconds.

Willie B. Hert vs. The Counteract

Willie is your standard happy dancing black character. Count is in an executioner hood and I don’t see this going long. Willie beats him up and sends him to the floor. Instead of following up, it’s a dance party. Willie works on the arm and the crowd is DEAD. A suplex gets two. There’s a forearm and it’s finally done. That was like six or seven minutes lone somehow.

Rating: D-. Does this company get paid by the arm work? They seem to LOVE that kind of stuff and it wasn’t anything to see here. Hert isn’t interesting but is supposed to be a fun character I’d assume. Nothing to see here but that’s to be expected in this company it would seem.

Willie talks about Night of Champions but some blonde guy comes up and yells at him. He’s a champion of some sort. Oh that’s Wayne….again. They get in the ring and their match is next time.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a very different show this week but more boring. There was no real focus of the show and it seemed like they were all over the place. Pritchard vs. Grappler is long and that’s about all it had going for it. Not much here, but lucky me I get to do two more weeks of it. Anyway, not much to see here but at least it’s a pretty short TV show.

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This is the first Smackdown after the walk out on Monday so I’m sure we’ll hear about that non-stop. Henry is still world champion so we’re probably looking at Henry vs. Orton III at Vengeance because the Cell is just another match in this feud that probably ends in last man standing or something like that. Anyway we’re in that weird period again where we have to push hard for Vengeance but there is so much from Raw that we need to take care of that first. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about the walk out and all that jazz. This eats up like four minutes.

Teddy is in his office (and gets a pop) and is on the phone with HHH. He says he won’t let the Game down. Ryder pops up and Teddy says that he (Teddy) is in charge tonight. Ryder wants to know what’s going on with the walk out and Teddy says it’s none of his business but Raw’s loss is Smackdown’s gain so he has work to do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is stupid stories that go totally in the face of continuity or character development like Beth, the monster that eliminated Khali from the Rumble a few years ago saying she was just a girl and could get hurt, for the sake of drama.

Big Show is back tonight.

Here’s Vickie to open the show with the disgruntled heels in the ring behind her. Christian takes credit for the whole uprising and the fans chant for HHH. Ziggler says it was a group effort and they were the leaders of the walk out. Barrett is with them too. Otunga says they’ve walked out on HHH and Raw but will be here on Smackdown. Wait….oh never mind.

Anyway if HHH doesn’t quit Monday, they’re leaving house shows and PPVs as well as Smackdown. Barrett says HHH should do the right thing and resign. Cody says he’s part of a united front and now there is hope for change. However they all couldn’t have done it without one (unnamed) man. Swagger says show some respect for Alberto Del Rio. Ok so it was Del Rio’s plan? Here’s the champ and he says he survived the Cell and is champion despite HHH. They’re never going back to Raw until HHH is gone. He’s here tonight to compete.

Cue Teddy who says if these guys keep talking then it’ll be the audience that walks out. The main event is Cody/Christian vs. Sheamus/Orton. Alberto is up next though and has a match against a hand picked opponent (Alberto’s hand that is) and that would be Sin Cara. I’m assuming they mean the blue one because heel vs. heel doesn’t happen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio starts off hot to start and Cara is beaten down quickly with the Mexican hitting a German on the Mexican. It was so good that we saw it on two different replays. Off to a chinlock which Booker says is spectacular. Cara goes up and hits a rana and a tornado DDT as things speed up a bit. Cole blames Lawler for the walk out which is right in a way. And that doesn’t matter as the cross armbreaker ends this in 3:18.

Rating: D+. Not sure what the point of this was as Cara was treated like a total jobber. Don’t get me wrong: he shouldn’t have had a chance in there and shouldn’t have won or anything like that, but I would have expected more than three minutes and change for a guy that had a featured PPV match five days ago. Del Rio looks dominant though and that’s what this was for.

Post match Sin Cara Black comes out to beat up Blue. He works on the arm a lot and hits a Swanton to leave Cara laying.

Cole says he walked out because HHH wasn’t listening to anyone but himself. Booker says he’s neutral and had to go to the bathroom. Little too much information there Book.

Air Boom says it’s probably not HHH’s fault but until HHH steps down, Air Boom won’t be on Raw but they’ll be on the blue show every week. Kofi says it’s due to chaos, but it hasn’t been chaotic at all, at least not more than normal.

Air Boom vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Air Boom has new music. I guess we’re doing the whole “challengers get beaten time after time but keep getting shots and matches until they win once and can declare themselves better based off that one match” thing. They jump the champs during their entrance and take over early. It’s a big beating in the aisle but I think we’re still going to start the match in a few minutes here.

Bourne takes a Zig Zag on the floor and we take a break. Back and we actually have a bell to start. Bourne is out cold so it’s 2-1 with Kofi starting against Swagger. Evan is sitting up now. Kofi avoids a splash and it’s off to Jack again. Ok make that Dolph. Team Vickie is beating Kofi up pretty well here. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Kofi is still in his t-shirt. Bourne pops up onto the apron and tags himself in but his neck is messed up. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this at 3:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here although it was short. The idea here is simple: the heels cheated to win. Why do you need anything more than that at times? The neckbreaker was smart as it played to the injury rather than going with some generic move that doesn’t play to the established injury. Why do so many guys have issues figuring that out? This was fine.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Glam Slam, pin, 35 seconds.

Post match Nattie puts Alicia in the leg hold and Alicia screams as Beth wants tears. This is kind of disturbing. But can she do that to a chick who is known for spanks and Stinkfaces and has a song about hollering in a club? Apparently not on her own.

Video 9583 on Henry, this one featuring Big Show.

Big Show makes his return and certainly hasn’t lost any weight. He talks about how good it is to be back and praises the fans a bit. We get a clip from MITB which was 4 months ago in WWE time (the show was July 17). Show talks about how he was humbled by Henry which is an image I didn’t need. He’s starting to cry. Henry reached into his chest and tore out his heart. Show couldn’t do little things anymore like putting on his shoes or going upstairs or playing with his dogs. Dude you broke your ankle. You didn’t lose your legs.

The fans chant for him and we actually see them chant. The pain is what fueled the fire in his stomach. He used it to get better and stronger. Henry is going to get the pain and hurt back ten times over. Show says Henry is on a roll, but it’s downhill. At the bottom of that hill is Big Show and all the pain and anger is being loaded up in his fist. He’s going to put that fist onto the side of Henry’s head until Show takes the thing that Henry defines himself by: the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll settle for nothing less than a one on one match and he wants it RIGHT NOW.

Here’s Henry who says that things have changed since Show was here. The Hall of Pain is getting crowded and now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry wants to know who Show has beaten recently to earn a shot. They keep saying four months. Can no one in this company ready a calendar or count to three? Henry says he’ll let Show know about when and if Show gets a title shot. Show says Henry has until the end of the night or he’ll break Henry’s ankle and put him through the table. I liked Show here as he kept things simple.

Orton says he doesn’t want to beg for one more match and if he has to go through the entire roster, he’ll do it. As for the walk out, if he had a problem with HHH he’d go take care of it in person. He doesn’t play well with others so Sheamus will have to see how things go tonight in the main event. This was said with a non-evil smile.

Brodus Clay is still coming. As long as he doesn’t run into Johnny Curtis he’ll be fine.

Mahal runs his mouth a bit and is cut off by Big Zeke’s music. He only talked about 4 seconds so it wasn’t anything to see.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jinder Mahal

He talks some more and gets shushed and then punched. Jackson overpowers him to start and then runs through him with the slams. Mahal escapes the Rack and fires off with a jumping knee. Jackson shrugs it off and slams him even more before the Rack ends this at 2:06. Just a squash. Did Mahal walk in on Vince practicing Stand Back or something?

Post match Jackson says shhh again.

Johnny Ace comes in to see Teddy and says we’re in uncharted waters. They’re both company men and since HHH isn’t here tonight, Ace is supporting Teddy. If Teddy loses control of Smackdown, the WWE Universe will lose faith and then……well that’s all he says.

Here’s Hornswoggle. He and Booker go into the ring and do Spinaroonis. They get cut off by Christian and it’s already main event time? Wow there’s a ton of time left too.

Christian/Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

They have over 20 minutes for this. Sheamus vs. Christian gets us going but it’s off to Cody very quickly. Cody gets pounded down and we get the forearm smashes in the ropes. The Canadian distracts the Irishman so that the American can hit a Russian for two. The mask Cody wears costs $20,000 according to Cole. Methinks Cody got ripped off. Hot tag to Orton who cleans hour and beats up Christian. Something sounds right about that. Booker: “These guys know each other like a good book and right now Orton is reading him like never before.” Cole: “WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???”

Elevated DDT hits but some Cody distraction lets Christian take over as we go to a break. Back with the heels working over Orton and it’s off to Cody. Oh I forgot we still have Henry’s reply to Big Show so they won’t use the full time. Orton avoids a spear and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Flying battering ram misses and the Irish Curse is now a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Why do they keep changing the names of moves? Cody escapes the Brogue Kick but an RKO out of nowhere by the illegal man pins him at 6:25 shown of 9:55.

Rating: C. I really wasn’t impressed here but the match was ok. Sheamus keeps looking good and I’m glad he and Orton seem to be sharing the top spot on the show. Good enough for a main event but the shortness of it really hurt things here. This getting more time would have helped it as there wasn’t enough time to build drama or anything like that.

Remember the video about the walk out earlier? Here it is again.

There will be a Raw Monday but we’re not sure who will be there.

Here’s Marky Mark for his reply to Big Show. He talks about how he’s infallible just like Big Show but Show gets no title match. Show comes out and beats down Henry. He beats the champ down and shoves security out of the way. A spear puts Henry down and security gets beaten down again. Henry leaves and holds up the title but for once, someone goes after him while he’s standing there and the fight starts up again.

Henry throws him around (that’s still scary) and sets for the Slam through the table. Show fights back and gets a good chokeslam to put Mark through it. He wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle and (after tossing a huge chair aside with one hand) he pulls the steps over and looks to Pillmanize it but Teddy calls him off, saying Show gets the world title match as long as he doesn’t jump onto the ankle. Show steps down and walks away but then goes back and cracks Henry over the back with the chair. Henry looks mostly dead to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a pretty weak show overall, especially by Smackdown’s normal standards. We have our main event and I really like that it isn’t Orton again. He looks like he’s shifting over to Rhodes which would be a nice breather outside of the main event for him. As far as Henry vs. Show goes, that could be interesting and decent if they keep it short. No more than like 8-9 minutes and it could be watchable, which is the case for most monster battles. Watchable show here, but not great by any means.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler b. Air Boom – Gutwrench powerbomb to Bourne
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Ezekiel Jackson b. Jinder Mahal – Torture Rack
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Christian/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 13,936
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We continue on the Road to the Royal Rumble here as this is the final Raw until the show. Austin is of course the hottest thing in the world at this point and is on the verge of winning his record setting third Rumble. Also we’re looking at Angle trying to hold onto the title as he gets ready to face HHH on Sunday. This should be fun though so let’s get to it.

After a brief tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. we’re ready to go. The holiday was around this time remember.

Rock/Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi later tonight.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Right to Censor

It’s Ivory, Venis and Richards here. WOW that siren is annoying. Ivory issued a challenge to Chyna on Heat the previous night which would result in Chyna actually losing to her at the Rumble. Val and Jeff start us off here. Jeff of course outmaneuvers Val with ease to take over. Off to Matt and it’s all Team Extreme to start. Spin Cycle (a weird double suplex kind of move) from the Hardys to Val.

Side slam by Richards gets two for Matt. Only the girls in this didn’t wind up in TNA at some point. I’m not sure what that says but I don’t think it’s good. JR and the King get to make fun of the RTC which is a parody of the PTC which was a major thorn in the side of Vince because they didn’t like what was on TV so they talked about it incessantly. Double suplex gets two for Steven.

Matt fights him off and gets a middle rope legdrop for two. Good thing that didn’t happen today or Steven would be buried under the ring. Off to Jeff who cleans house. The fans want Lita and Ivory accidentally tags herself in. Litarana to Val and a spear to Ivory. Ivory tries to run but Chyna throws her back into Lita and a Twist of Fate to end it.

Rating: C+. Formula based but fun match here. Both teams worked pretty fast paced and the RTC didn’t drag this out somehow. Not a great match or anything but for an opener this was fine. Chyna coming out for the save helped a lot as there was limited point to having Lita vs. Ivory. Fun match to start the show.

Chyna accepts the challenge.

Stephanie and HHH arrive.

We get a clip from Smackdown of Austin destroying Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.

Here’s HHH for a little chat. Stephanie looking good in a black leather dress. HHH talks about how he hears the same thing everywhere he goes. Everyone says to him to take care of the Game. HHH says unless he’s provoked he won’t go after Austin tonight. Stephanie says that order will be maintained tonight by Vince, who is here live via satellite.

Vince is surrounded by XFL stuff and has an XFL ball. It launched on my birthday which isn’t one of my prouder moments. If HHH provokes Austin then he loses his title shot. If Austin provokes HHH, he’s out of the Rumble. Vince aged a lot in the last decade as he looks very young here. Tonight it’s Austin/Dudleys vs. Edge/Christian/Angle which should be interesting. Vince has to leave now for a meeting but he has his phone on. Odd way for him to go but whatever.

It’s odd because the segment isn’t over yet. HHH says that Angle is champion because HHH has allowed him to be so. He says he never lost the title (Rock pinned Vince in a6 man to win it) and Angle has never won defended against him due to being busy with Austin. He talks about Kurt’s title reign and how Kurt can bring all the help he wants because HHH will win the title on Sunday anyway.

Here’s Kurt with a rebuttal. Angle is disappointed in Stephanie because she blew it because she picked HHH over him. Speaking of games, Donkey Kong has a better chance of taking the title from Angle than HHH does. He’s the big smelly ape that people actually like. Angle has someone in his corner, which is someone that the McMahons know quite well: Trish. Remember she was sleeping with Vince at the time.

Trish makes innuendo about her sleeping with Vince so Stephanie calls her a w****. That would seem to be accurate in the story. Stephanie makes a spanking match with Jackie vs. Trish. Yeah because that’s such punishment. She can’t wrestle so let’s make her do something where there’s no wrestling required. Long segment, running nearly 10 minutes.

Back and we get a clip of Trish volunteering to get a spanking from Vince on Smackdown to explain things a bit more. HHH isn’t sure how Vince is going to take this. Stephanie needs acting lessons in a fierce way.

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Raven

Well at least they both have good music. Raven brings out his shopping cart full of weapons. Fire extinguisher to the face gives Raven control to start but he walks into a full nelson slam to take him down. Here’s Hardcore Holly as I think you know what’s coming. Blackman comes out too and it’s a big mess. As in a bigger mess than usual if that’s possible.

Raven tries to leave but Test follows him up the ramp. Test picks him up and rams Raven’s face into the WWF.com sign above the entrance. Abandon all hope ye who log on? They go to the back where Regal jumps both of them, allowing Raven to pin Test. No rating of course as this was maybe two minutes. Raven drives off in a waiting car. This might result in Raven’s ninja.

Blackman and Holly make a match for later tonight. Good thing they had a time slot all emptied up and waiting on someone to fill it in isn’t it?

XFL ad makes me laugh.

Here’s Rock to do his usual awesome stuff. We’re six days from the Rumble and Rock has a tag match with Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi. Excuse the Rock for not doing cartwheels and backflips of joy. This is a one night partnership but today is a very special day because it is the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Rock has a dream of his own and that is to win the Rumble. Nice transition there. He emulates I Have A Dream but switches out free at last with whipping in a funny line. Good stuff here although kind of short by his standards.

The Dudleys say that tonight it’s a one night partnership with Austin and after the match is over, they’ll have a Dudleyville Discussion with Austin.

HHH and Stephanie call Vince to talk about Drew Carey wanting to do something at the Rumble. Ah wait that’s not why they’re calling. They’re calling to make Rock happy so Vince changes it to Rock/Kane vs. Taker/Rikishi. Uh, ok?

Some Milwaukee Bucks are here.

Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Rock/Kane

Some odd pairings here. Rikishi is #30 in the Rumble. Tough Enough is coming. It’s now 2011 and it’s on its way back. Kind of ironic isn’t it? Not really but it sounds good and these entrances are taking a long time so I need something to pass the time. Rock vs. Rikishi to start. Rikishi knocks him back into the corner and goes for a Stinkface but Rock hits a big clothesline out of the corner to avoid a bad facial.

Kane tags himself in and Rock isn’t too thrilled with that. Samoan Drop takes Kane down as I continue to wonder what Vince was thinking when he picked Rikishi as the big bad. Kane manages to slam him in an impressive spot. Top rope clothesline takes him down again. How exactly was that hellacious though? I’m not getting that part.

Off to the Deadman now (with a tag most would call a right hand to the jaw) as the Brothers square off….again. Rock returns the favor and tags himself back in to give us the eternally bad pairing of Rock vs. Taker. Taker beats him down and hits Old School. Rock fights back but both guys go down to a double clothesline. Swinging neckbreaker puts Taker down for a second as this is a brawl.

Everything breaks down and Kane clocks Rikishi in the head with the bell. He’s a Samoan. That isn’t supposed to work. Spinebuster takes down the Rock but Kane jumps Rock to wild heat. Taker tries to give Rock the Last Ride but Rock dead weights him or something before the second attempt ends Rock.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match and not much more. It’s fine in that regard but sweet goodness I don’t get why Rikishi was pushed so hard. Did someone really think that was a good idea? Not bad here but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about five minutes. At least it built to the Rumble somewhat.

Benoit is bringing a ladder to the arena.

After a break here’s Benoit on top of said ladder. He talks about how awesome Jericho is and what an honor it’ll be to wrestle him in a ladder match. Benoit has made a little video for us called the best of Benoit vs. Jericho. As predicted it’s all Benoit destroying Jericho. Naturally Jericho comes in from the crowd and destroys Benoit.

The Dudleys and Edge/Christian get into it in the back and the Dudleys are left laying, including a Conchairto to D-Von.

HHH and Stephanie talk about Austin not having partners now. Stephanie thinks she should call her dad for….uh…no adequately explored reason.

Hardcore Holly vs. Steve Blackman

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the world has been waiting for! For no apparent reason this isn’t hardcore. They trade strikes and reversals to start us off. Blackman drapes Holly over the ropes and shoves the referee (Teddy Long) maybe 40 seconds in. Holly with some low blows and it’s still not a DQ. A chair is taken away from him and Blackman goes to get some more stuff. Teddy walks off as I hope this isn’t the referee strike angle. I always hated that thing. Not really even a match.

HHH/Steph call Vince who says if Austin can get some partners he can have replacements. Vince asks about Trish and Stephanie…I think gets on him about it?

Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

At least Trish looks great in leather pants that are skin tight. I have no idea how you’re supposed to win this as they both have straps. I’m assuming you win by pinfall. As Trish is about to be whipped here’s Angle for the save. Jackie tries to spank her but only gets her pants down. Her thong-clad hips are slapped by the strap and I guess Jackie wins. This was whatever.

We get a clip of Kai En Tai dancing with Too Cool but then turning heel for no apparent reason.

K-Kwik/Too Cool vs. Kai En Tai/Tazz

Kwik is commonly known as R-Truth. Some odd pairings here to be sure. Tazz cuts a brief promo. Kai En Tai’s dubbing gimmick is something I wasn’t a fan of back in the day but now I find it hysterical. Scotty and Funaki start us off. Too Cool hits a Hart Attack of all things. Taka tries a rana but gets caught in a nice sitout powerbomb by Grandmaster. Tazz surprisingly does the worst of his team as Truth comes in. The Worm hits Tazz but after Funaki interference the Tazmission beats Truth.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here in the slightest. It was a quick six man tag to fill in a spot on the card. Tazz would be face by Mania and I have no interest in the other five guys here. Yeah there really isn’t much else to say about this match is there? Why was this on the card again?

Angle suggest that Trish head back to the hotel and put some salve on her. She was somehow curvier at this point.

Royal Rumble Moment: Too Cool and Rikishi dance in the ring. That was awesome.

HHH and Stephanie conspire evily.

Info for Tough Enough is given. This would result in Maven and Nidia who both meant a grand total of nothing.

We recap the Chyna/Ivory thing from earlier in the night which is an odd time to have this on. Ok then.

Billy Gunn is at WWF New York and they ask him how he feels about Chyna coming back so soon. He’s not sure about it but it’s her call. Oh and he might win the Rumble. That’s hilarious.

Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Steve Austin/???/???

That’s quite the heel team as they’re all champions at this point. Out of nowhere the APA run in and they’re the partners apparently. Austin and Angle start but Angle tags Christian in almost immediately. Off to Edge and Bradshaw now which goes badly for the Canadian. Double spinebuster to Edge as Farrooq comes in. It’s weird to see Austin beat up Edge. They’re tagging that fast mind you.

Angle vs. Austin now and Austin shockingly BACKFLIPS out of a suplex. Edge and Christian grab some chairs but can’t hit a Conchairto on Austin. The APA chases them off and we’re down to the two stars. Superplex gets two for Austin. HHH comes out to the ramp and Austin stares him down. Low blow by Angle and Kurt takes over. Austin manages to counter an Angle suplex and takes over again.

There’s a belly to belly for Austin’s trouble though as Angle pops those hips like only he can. Angle Slam is blocked as they’re flying through this. Thesz Press and Austin hammers away. Angle goes up but jumps into a Stunner to end it. More or less a one on one match but that’s fine by me.

Rating: C+. WAY fast here and it worked pretty well I thought. This works fine as HHH not getting involved here and having Austin do his dirty work for him was perfectly fine as it kills two birds with one stone for him. The tag team aspect meant nothing for the most part but the match was still incredibly energetic and fun.

HHH comes down to the ring and begs Austin to hit him, offering him the first shot. Austin goes to the floor and gets a chair while HHH screams at him to hit him. Austin walks away and makes the symbol of the title around his waist. HHH calls him a pussy, making him charge back but Angle comes up from behind HHH and gets the Slam but Austin gets a Stunner on him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty bad, but everything was covered for the Rumble. The PPV was awesome so that helps a lot, but I don’t think anyone actually believed Austin would lose. There were only five matches and everything got some build, but this was pre-Brand Split so there was always Smackdown for more building and the final build. Fun little show, but nothing great or memorable at all.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you’re interested: