CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: November 11, 1978
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

Back to Memphis in the 70s which means it’s Jerry Lawler time. These territories are almost impossible to keep track of as TV isn’t always easy to find making records a bit difficult to keep. There’s almost no way to tell what’s going on at the moment so I’ll be as surprised as you are going into this. Let’s get to it.

The announcers run down the card for the day as is their custom.

Wayne Ferris/Jimmy Valiant vs. Danny Davis/Sammy Holt

Valiant, by far the biggest star in the match at this point, sends Davis (the Nightmare, not the referee) into the corner to start. The much larger Valiant throws Davis around and pokes him in the eye before slamming him down for two. Ferris comes in, gets in a single shot, and brings Valiant back in for a slam.

Back to Ferris for a knee lift before it’s right back to Jimmy again. Ferris comes back in almost immediately as the tags continue. Wayne misses an elbow drop and it’s finally off to Holt for some right hands. The hot tag (I think) brings in Jimmy for an elbow to the face and an elbow drop for the pin. For those of you unfamiliar, Ferris is more famous as the Honky Tonk Man.

Post match Valiant says he’s into the music business now and thinks Burt Reynolds slipped him drugs because he can’t sleep. He also sold out Madison Square Garden with Bob Seger and tells his girls to not jump around too much. We get a clip of said concert with Jimmy coming out to sing. No sign of Seger himself anywhere. Jimmy sings a song called the Ballad of Handsome Jimmy, which actually was a minor hit in the Memphis market.

Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee come out to congratulate Valiant on his success with Dundee suggesting a concert along with Lawler. Valiant likes the idea of having Jerry playing some hillbilly music before Valiant would come out and rock like Meat Loaf. Jerry leaves and Dundee has a petition to get a woman named Heather a match against a man to be named later. Apparently Heather recently beat a wrestling bear.

It’s time for another tag match but first the heel manager named Chuck Malone yells about Lawler trying to get a girl a match against a man, only to sign the petition anyway. Ok then.

Bounty Hunters vs. Robert Gibson/Jackie Welch

Before the match, Lawler comes out and says that the petition Chuck signed is actually a contract, meaning it’s Malone vs. Heather. The Bounty Hunters are cowboy heels from Arizona and I’m sure you know who Gibson is. Malone is required to be sitting in a chair for some reason. David Novak of the Hunters starts with Gibson and it’s very strange to see Robert in a singlet.

Novak blocks an armdrag attempt and drops an elbow before laying out Gibson with a knee to the head. Off to Welch who has about the same luck against David. Tag off to Jerry Novak so at least we know both of their names. Welch is thrown to the floor but Jerry punches him off the apron to be an evil jerk. Gibson comes in sans tag but the distraction allows Malone to piledrive Welch on the floor for the countout.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see other than Robert Gibson before he was the lesser half of a famous tag team. The Hunters weren’t anything special as they were just standard big heels, probably set up to be fed to Lawler and Dundee down the line. Nothing special here but it wasn’t terrible.

Post match Malone and the Hunters destroy Gibson until Lawler and Dundee make the save.

Malone doesn’t want to fight Heather (last name Feather) but if he doesn’t, he’s out of the territory.

Lawler and Dundee, who are the tag team champions and recently beat the Bounty Hunters to take the belts, have agreed to give the Bounty Hunters a rematch if Malone will put up his hair. Jimmy Valiant comes up to suggest a six man tag against Malone and the Hunters but Dundee says let’s wait until after the title match so Malone can lose his hair. Valiant says he’ll take Malone’s hair out in a six man tag so it’s no worries.

Lawler says no as well so Valiant calls Jerry jealous and Dundee short (which he is). Jerry compliments Valiant’s music and says thanks but no thanks. Jimmy thinks Lawler is jealous because Valiant is the big star here instead of Lawler. Dundee is looking annoyed and Jerry calls Valiant a preliminary wrestler.

Now Valiant thinks Lawler is jealous of everything so Jerry drops some gay slurs about Valiant and says he’s been bumming rides with Dundee and Lawler instead of getting his own car. Ferris and someone else come out and Lawler says that Valiant has Ferris’ mind warped so much that he looks like a *gay slur edited* as well. Lawler smacks Valiant and security drags them off. Solid heel turn here with Lawler acting like a manly hero before political correctness was a thing (not saying what Lawler said was ok mind you. It was a very different time).

Terry Sawyer apologizes to Tommy Gilbert over something not important enough to mention.

Don Fargo/Bill Dromo vs. Tommy Gilbert/Terry Sawyer

Gilbert is taken down by Fargo to start but Tommy fights up into a standoff. Off to Tromo for a front facelock on Gilbert before it’s off to Sawyer, who apparently wrestled in the Olympics. Back to Fargo who is easily taken down to the mat so it’s back to Dromo who takes Sawyer down just as easily. Things break down for a few seconds but the referee is too worried about right hands from Fargo. Gilbert gets caught in the heel corner but Sawyer comes in for another save as things break down again.

Gilbert catches Dromo in a reverse chinlock but Bill lifts him up and into the Fargo corner. Jerry Jarrett, the actual owner of the company (and one of the most brilliant minds in wrestling history) in a RARE on screen appearance, comes to the commentary boot and says he’s fined Lawler and Valiant $500 each. Dromo rolls up Gilbert for two as Sawyer is refusing to tag out. Gilbert dropkicks Fargo down but Sawyer walks down the apron again. Tommy tries to fight off both guys but stops to go after Sawyer, allowing Dromo to elbow Gilbert for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match but the match part of it didn’t work at all. It was a big mess with none of the four guys looking like anything special out there. I had a hard enough time telling them apart as they all looked about the same over than Dromo who had writing on his trunks.

Koko Ware vs. Steve Brody

Before Koko grew a B. I think we have a face vs. face match here as they shake hands before the bell. A quick rollup gets two on Steve so he cranks on the arm a bit. Koko gets to the ropes and hooks a headlock as this is still in first gear. They apparently don’t know much about changing gears as Koko hits three straight dropkicks for the pin. Quick match.

Jerry Lawler apologizes to the fans for what happened but not to Valiant.

Pat Kelly/Mike Kelly vs. Bill Dundee/Jerry Lawler

We have about two and a half minutes to go in the show. Mike starts with Dundee and it’s the Superstar (Dundee) taking him down before bringing in Lawler. Jerry takes him down with a quick headlock and it’s off to Pat. Lawler gets caught in a headlock but grabs one of his own as the time runs out.

The announcers quickly wrap things up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where knowing the stories and characters would have helped a lot. Lawler vs. Valiant would have been a BIG feud so this is definitely the start of something important. Malone seems to be a decent heel manager and the match against the girl would probably have drawn a nice crowd. There were a few too many tag matches here but it wasn’t too bad for the most part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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So a common criticism at the moment is CM Punk is ignoring the current regime storyline and just focusing on Paul Heyman.  Why are people complaining about this?Punk talked for weeks about how much he hated Paul Heyman and wanted to take him out no matter what.  He said there was nothing that would stop him from running through everyone Heyman could throw at him until he got to Heyman himself and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

So why are people complaining?  Punk is doing EXACTLY what he said he was going to do, meaning he’s sticking to the story that was set up for him.  Why is this such a horrible thing?  Punk will finish up with Heyman soon and then he’ll go after HHH and the new regime.  That’s not a bad thing at all.

Smackdown
Date: October 4, 2013
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground and the company has gone from on fire to limping into the PPV in a matter of weeks. Bryan vs. Orton is the main event on Sunday again but it feels like an afterthought. The problem is it doesn’t feel like an afterthought to any specific thing as none of the matches feel like a big deal at all. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Shield so I guess that’s our focus tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows Orton laying out Bryan to end Raw. The Bellas being involved makes me roll my eyes.

Theme song.

Here’s Big Show to open things up. Show says he’s been embarrassed of how he’s treated some people lately and we get a knockout montage. Big Show talks about Stephanie and HHH holding the job over his head and how some people can understand what it’s like to have to do things they don’t want to do. He knows he can’t be forgiven but asks for some understanding.

After what his wife said to Stephanie he isn’t even sure if he’s a man anymore. There’s so much anger and frustration built up inside of him that he threatened to knock HHH out on Monday. If he had done it though he would have been fired, but just for threatening it he has to face the Shield in a handicap match. However, if he’s going down he’s taking Shield with him.

Cue HHH because what would an opening segment be without him? He’s ashamed that Big Show doesn’t like his leadership, but Big Show’s frustration and financial and marital problems are all on Big Show. HHH has considered Big Show a friend for the last 20 years, meaning he knew Big Show in college, two years before Show had his first match in WCW.

HHH holds up Big Show’s mortgage, which apparently he’s paid, meaning Big Show owes him rather than the bank. Therefore, either Big Show gets his emotions in check or HHH moves into Big Show’s house. As for tonight, since Big Show is so crazy, we’ll make the main event Big Show vs. Shield/Randy Orton. And Big Show is crushed yet again, because there will be NO strong heroes in this company.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

The announcers spend all of Fandango’s entrance talking about breast cancer and how pink everything is. Fandango dances to start so RVD does the finger points, earning himself an elbow to the head. Rob comes back with kicks in the corner and a monkey flip to take over. Van Dam goes to the apron but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rob coming off the middle rope with a kick to the face and some regular kicks for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects but Summer breaks up the Five Star for the DQ at 2:30 shown of 5:00. This match needed a break?

Fandango goes to find some weapons post match but Rob gets the upper hand and lays Fandango out with a slingshot DDT. He finds a trashcan and Fandango gets a Van Terminator to pop the crowd.

Ryback vs. R-Truth

Jobber entrance for the monster. Ryback powers him into the corner to start but Truth comes back with some right hands to send Ryback to the floor. Heyman calls Truth a bully and Ryback will have none of that. Back in and Truth escapes a gorilla press before kicking Ryback down for two. The ax kick misses and the Meat Hook and Shell Shock complete the squash of Truth at 2:24. Your #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title everyone.

Post match Axel lays out Truth again to really make sure no one buys him as a contender.

Alberto Del Rio isn’t worried about Dolph Ziggler tonight when a stagehand comes up with the trashcan RVD used earlier tonight. The champion isn’t pleased.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title of course and Sandow is on commentary to hype up his Battleground pre-show match with Ziggler. Before the match we get the top ten Van Dam moments video from Raw. Sandow refers to Ziggler as a former Mr. MITB instead of a former world champion. That tells you almost everything you need to know about Dolph at the moment. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler getting a quick rollup for two, sending the champion to the floor.

Back in and Del Rio stomps Ziggler down, only to be dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Alberto holding a chinlock until Ziggler fights back up. Dolph misses a charge into the post and Del Rio has a shoulder to work on. A belly to back suplex gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock again. Ziggler fights up and comes back with another dropkick to knock Alberto off the apron, only to have him snap Ziggler’s throat across the ropes. Dolph comes right back again though with a top rope X Factor to put both guys down.

JBL tries to talk Sandow into cashing in as Dolph pounds away right hands in the corner. A running clothesline puts Del Rio down but he still avoids the Fameasser and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick for a close two count. The champ gets back up and hits a LOUD running enziguri in the corner for two of his own. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets countered into a sunset bomb for another close two.

There’s the sleeper from Ziggy but Del Rio rams him face first into the buckle for the break. A middle rope double stomp to the back has Dolph down again but the low superkick is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the kick connects for two for the champion but Ziggler rolls through the armbreaker into the Fameasser for a VERY hot two. Not that it matters as the armbreaker goes on for the submission from Dolph at 10:30 shown of 12:50.

Rating: B-. This got a lot better at the end but ziggler having almost no chance at all didn’t help things. That’s the problem with how WWE takes guys down the card: there’s almost no way to believe they could win a big match when they’re on a losing streak. Del Rio as usual is much better in the ring than he is as a character but that’s been the case for years. I could have gone for more arm work than just at the beginning and ending of the match though.

Los Matadores vignette.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

Slater/Mahal again who ranted about Toroito costing them the match. There’s no McIntyre in sight for the second straight show. The bullfighters do their flips and bull stuff before the bell. Diego cranks on Slater’s arm to start and shouts OLE a lot. Mahal comes in and gets his leg swept out from under him before being double backdropped.

Back up and Los Matadores hit a combination backbreaker/slingshot splash for no cover. Slater comes back in and takes over with a kick to the face and a quickly broken chinlock. Fernando comes back with Ultimo Dragon’s corner headstand before it’s back to Diego vs. Mahal. Diego hits a reverse Cross Rhodes followed by the double Angle Slam for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D. Remember the match on Monday? This was the same thing but with less flipping and less excitement. Los Matadores don’t seem to have a long shelf life to them but at least it gives us another tag team for a few months. Nothing to see here though as the bull continues to steal most of the attention.

Post match Torito dives on 3MB.

Heyman and his Guys are ready for their matches on Sunday. Truth’s dream of being Intercontinental Champion is false but at least he’s not CM Punk. On Sunday, CM Punk will fight to the death but it just won’t be enough. After the beating, Punk will be looking up at his lord, master and owner: Paul Heyman, the best in the world.

Brie Bella vs. Aksana

Please for the love of all things good and holy keep this short. Brie moves away from Aksana to start before dropkicking her out to the floor. Back in and Aksana sends her throat first into the middle rope and stomps away for two. We hit the chinlock on Brie before Aksana crawls around on all fours. Brie comes right back with a middle rope Bella Buster for the pin (ignore Aksana’s foot on the ropes) at 2:10.

Post match here are AJ with the psycho eyes and Tamina for whatever reason. AJ says after she keeps the title on Sunday, Brie and Bryan can go have a goat faced kid. After the doctor sees the abomination, he’ll spank Brie instead of the baby. I’m still wondering why I’m supposed to cheer for the Bellas other than who they sleep with.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big E. Langston

Before the match we get a clip from Smackdown of Bray Wyatt laughing at Kingston but not attacking him. Langston runs Kofi over to start and gets two off a running splash. Kofi goes up for a cross body but gets caught in midair, only to slip down Langston into the rollup for the pin at 52 seconds. Was there no one else that could do the job here? No one at all?

Post match here’s Bray on the stage with the Family behind Kofi. Bray talks about calling a hero another facade of a failed generation. This Sunday, the first will fall so follow the buzzards. Kofi still isn’t touched.

Post break Bray vs. Kofi is announced for Sunday.

We look back at the Rhodes Family segment from Raw. Word on the street is that Stephanie is ticked off for Dusty going slightly off script and putting his hand on her face. Heaven forbid everything isn’t EXACTLY planned out for her for once in her life.

Shield/Randy Orton vs. Big Show

It’s Ambrose in first with Show pounding away in the corner and headbutting Ambrose down. Off to Rollins who tries a kick to the ribs before being thrown into the corner for a beating of his own. It’s Reigns’ turn now but he goes down when trying a shoulder block. Randy gets the tag and tries to keep Big Show away from him in a smart strategy. Show gets him in the corner anyway for the not so loud chop, sending Randy running off to Rollins.

Seth actually knocks Show down with a top rope knee to the jaw and a kick to the face gets two. Randy is out on the floor until Reigns softens Big Show up a bit more. Orton comes in for some stomping and the knee drop for two. A quick DDT gets two more for Orton and it’s back to Roman. Show clotheslines Reigns down a few times before hitting his own spear for no cover. All of the heels come in at once but Big Show fights them off until Ambrose brings in a chair, only to have it punched into his face for the DQ at 5:40.

Rating: D+. That’s the only way you can end this if you want to save any face for Big Show. Obviously you can’t have the giant go over and you don’t want the heels to look weak (Heaven forbid of course) so the DQ after Show holds his own is the best option. Much like everything else on the show tonight though, this didn’t mean much.

Orton hits Show in the back with the chair but there’s no effect. Instead Reigns spears Big Show down as the fans chant for Bryan. There’s an RKO for Big Show and Orton wraps the chair around Big Show’s neck. Cue the Usos to take care of the Shield and FINALLY Daniel Bryan shows up to fight Orton. Bryan fires off kicks and hooks the YES Lock but Ambrose gets back in for the save. Dean takes the running knee and a staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a bad show but what did it change about Sunday? The only thing added here was Wyatt vs. Kingston which could have been done just as easily on Raw or at the PPV itself. The wrestling was just ok and HHH is now Big Show’s landlord to make sure Big Show doesn’t get to grow a spine to fight back against the tyranny. Also what happened to the locker room rebellion? None of those guys have done anything against HHH and company for over a week and there’s no sign that they will in the future. As usual, this story just keeps going with no real direction to be seen.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via DQ when Summer Rae interfered

Ryback b. R-Truth – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross armbreaker

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to Mahal

Brie Bella b. Aksana – Middle rope Bella Buster

Kofi Kingston b. Big E. Langston – Rollup

Shield/Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Big Show hit a chair into Ambrose’s face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 3, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Arkansas and the main story is still Dixie Carter vs. Hulk Hogan, despite us only having three more Impacts until the biggest show of the year. Tonight is about Hogan’s decision on whether or not to join Dixie’s side in whatever she thinks she’s doing. If we’re lucky we might even get Bully and AJ in the same ring for the first time for the build to their match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the customary recap of last week’s events.

Here’s AJ to address the crowd. He can appreciate Hogan trying to come out here last week and smooth things over, but then Dixie Carter came out and showed her true colors. AJ isn’t here to talk about Dixie or Hogan though. Instead he wants to talk about his opponent at Bound For Glory. What a refreshing idea. He knows exactly who Bully Ray is: the man that he’ll beat at Bound For Glory for the world title. Styles doesn’t have a contract right now and hasn’t even looked at the world title in over a year. He’s coming to get what’s his at Bound For Glory, but here’s Bully Ray to object.

Bully says Dixie is in AJ’s head because AJ is just hoping to win. If AJ was really in the game, he would know that he’s going to win rather than just hoping. AJ doesn’t have to worry about Dixie in San Diego though, because Bully will give him all he can handle. Look at what Ray has done to people like Hogan, Hardy or D-Von. What do you think he’ll do to a guy like Styles? AJ knows who he is: the man that beat AJ in a last man standing match two years ago. AJ has one thing Ray wants: he wants to take Styles away from the fans. Bully is sick of hearing the fans chant AJ, and there’s the chant again.

Styles says that Bully is just like Dixie Carter, but Ray takes that as a compliment. Dixie is a millionaire and a somebody while Bully is a millionaire and the World Heavyweight Champion. Ray goes OFF on AJ, ranting about how he’s going to beat AJ into the ground and send him back home to his trailer, wife and three kids. AJ thinks Ray is going to get killed in his match tonight against Samoa Joe, which is a surprise to Ray.

Magnus is going to run the EGO gauntlet tonight.

Dixie has AJ escorted out by security but he leaves on his own so he doesn’t have to breathe the same air Dixie is breathing.

Kenny King/Chris Sabin vs. Manik/Jeff Hardy

Austin Aries is on commentary. Manik and King get us going with Kenny taking him into the corner for some choking by Sabin. Chris comes in legally but the double team doesn’t work as King is caught in a springboard hurricanrana to send him into the corner. Off to Jeff to speed things up and hit a middle rope splash on King for two. Back to Manik for something resembling an octopus hold on King before rolling him up for two. King’s cut from last week has busted open again.

King snaps Manik throat first across the top rope before bringing Sabin back in for a basement dropkick. Manik is tied up in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can stand on his crotch for some torture and a two count. Back to King for some right hands before Sabin comes back in for some choking in the corner.

Chris runs into a boot in the corner and a middle rope dropkick (Aries: “Right in the brain stem!”) puts Sabin down. Hardy comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with the sitout gordbuster on King for two. Sabin breaks up the Twist attempt on King as everything breaks down. Manik sends Sabin to the floor and hits his double chicken wing gutbuster on King, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: C+. This was fine and set up whatever match we’re going to see for the title at Bound For Glory. Kenny King doesn’t really fit into the three former world champions against the X-Division Champion but it’s not the worst idea in the world. It could bring some blood into the division which has been anemic for years now.

Post match Sabin goes after Manik but Aries makes the save. Austin asks for a four way match with Manik, Sabin, Hardy and himself for the title at Bound For Glory.

Sting and Hogan have a legends powwow about what Hogan should do. Hulk declares Dixie worse than Bischoff before a girl delivers a gift from Dixie. It’s a watch, the same one that Dixie gave Sting as a retirement gift. Hogan: “She is worse than Bischoff. He never gave me anything.”

We look at EGO jumping Magnus last week. Later in the night Sting asked Magnus what happened. Magnus says they’re in his head and he wants all three of them on his own next week (tonight). He’s icing his knee but says it’s just tweeked.

EGO vs. Magnus

It’s a gauntlet match with Daniels up first. Magnus jumps Daniels in the corner but Chris comes back with elbows to the neck. Daniels gets shouldered down and asks for a breather, only to get kicked in the ribs for his efforts. Chris goes to the throat to slow the Brit down before bulldogging him throat first on the top rope. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Daniels can’t hit Angel’s Wings. Magnus comes back with a clothesline but jumps into the Koji Clutch. He’s right next to the ropes though so Daniels goes up for the BME, only to land on Magnus’ bad leg. The Falcon’s Arrow eliminates Daniels at 3:55.

Kazarian is up next and Magnus doesn’t wait for him to get to the ring. We take a break and come back with Kazarian raking the eyes to escape a press slam. A dropkick puts Magnus down again for two but he comes back with right hands out of the corner. Magnus punches him down and drops the top rope elbow for two. He goes up but gets kicked in the chest, only to roll through Fade to Black into the Cloverleaf for the submission at 12:37 total.

Last up is Bobby Roode but Kaz clips Magnus’ knee and crunches it in between his own legs. Roode goes after the leg as we take a break. Back with Roode still working on the knee like a smart heel would. Roode can’t get a figure four, allowing Magnus to fight up and hit another Falcon’s Arrow for a quick two. He tries the Cloverleaf again but can’t sit down on it like he should.

Bobby punches at the bad leg to escape but gets shoved off during a superplex attempt. Magnus misses the top rope elbow and gets caught in the Crossface. Just as he’s about to make the rope, Roode pulls him back and puts on an ankle lock with a grapevine for the submission at 23:08.

Rating: B-. This match was more long than good but the idea was right. You can’t have Magnus beat all three guys in a row on a bad leg so the ending was the right call. This came off a bit like Benoit vs. Angle at the 2003 Rumble where Benoit didn’t so much get beat as much as he got caught. Very good showing by Magnus here which is what he needed at this point.

Magnus is mad post match but here’s Sting with something to say. The Brit won’t listen to reason so Sting says let’s go to the back and talk about this. Magnus says no with all due respect because he’s had enough. He says everyone in the Mafia sees something in him but it’s not really there. Sting, Joe and Kurt all passed the challenges given to him but Magnus has failed every time.

Sting tries to calm him down but Magnus says he doesn’t need another pep talk. Magnus says this is a results driven business but he’s not getting the results. Sting talks about needing the one big match and he got it with Ric Flair but Magnus cuts him off. He saw the Flair match with his own eyes and has been watching Sting his whole career. Magnus was one step away from Bound For Glory but now who puts him on the map? Sting says he’ll do it at BFG and they shake hands.

Aries has a present for Hogan too: vegan vitamins. Maybe even a prayer or two would help Hogan make the right decision. Aries talks about Hogan doing the right thing over his entire career and says tonight is all black and white.

Video on Hogan’s history in TNA.

Sabin won’t be at ringside for Velvet’s match tonight because he has to focus on his match at Bound For Glory.

We recap the gauntlet match.

EGO celebrates their win by singing their version of Roode’s theme song. They’re happy because Magnus is off somewhere crying. Also Roode is going to be the first inductee into the EGO Hall of Fame with the ceremony next week. It’s going to be a black tie affair with everyone dressed to the nines. Kaz: “Let’s make it to the tens!”

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky

Winner gets a title shot at BFG. Before the match here’s Lei’D Tapa to destroy Velvet so no match.

We get our first clip of Ethan who appears to be at a Hollywood store shopping but doesn’t seem impressed. We can’t see his face.

We recap Gunner and Storm’s run as tag champions.

Bound for Glory card.

Video on Angle’s career.

Samoa Joe vs. Bully Ray

Joe is apparently one of AJ’s Band of Brothers, because if there’s one thing TNA needs it’s another group. They shove each other around to start with Ray running his mouth too much and getting shoved out of the corner. Joe pounds away in the corner but misses a knee drop, only to put on the standing choke. Ray escapes and grabs the chain, only to have Hebner take it away so Ray can hit the Samoan low.

Back with Ray clotheslining Joe down but missing an elbow drop to give Joe a breather. Joe comes back with a kick to the face and a middle rope kick to the chest for two. The referee gets crushed in the corner as Joe hooks up the Clutch. Ray taps but there’s no referee, so naturally he lets go of the hold. Ray gets the chain around his hand and hits a middle rope ax handle, only to get caught for the DQ at 10:20.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I have no idea what it was supposed to accomplish. Ray taps out and then loses on a DQ, so what in the world does this do for Bound For Glory? Nothing match here which is the last thing they needed to do for the world title match.

Post match Ray shoves the referee and sends Joe into the announce table. He pulls back the mats for a piledriver on the floor but AJ makes the save and celebrates with the fans.

Here’s Dixie to tell us we don’t know anything about business. Hulk Hogan however does know a little bit about it so please come out here and let’s take care of this. Hogan looks annoyed as Dixie says she can take him to the next level. He thanks her for the watch and talks about always wanting to be part of a power couple in this business. While it’s an amazing offer, he’s quitting. Hogan throws down the mic and walks away, leaving Dixie on her knees begging, because you can’t have Hogan on a wrestling show without worshiping him right?

Overall Rating: C-. This show did a good job of filling out the Bound For Glory card, but as usual there’s WAY too much of a focus on Hogan. Ray vs. Styles got its first bit of development and it lasted about five minutes before we got back to Dixie vs. Hogan for the REAL story. Hogan left but I’ll believe it’s for real when he’s not at Bound For Glory or the Impact taping after. Just like lat year the world title isn’t the focus of the show at all but in this case there isn’t another match to focus on which is making these final shows really dull to sit through. The lack of Aces and 8’s helped a bit though.

Results

Manik/Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin/Kenny King – Swanton Bomb to King

EGO b. Magnus – Ankle lock

Samoa Joe b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit Joe with a chain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra great tonight. Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

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Rebellion 1999
Date: October 2, 1999
Location: National Indoor Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 11,939
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes

We’re back in England again and it’s six days after Unforgiven, so of course the angles are just about the same. These were just glorified house shows with the occasional token title changes. The main event here is Rock vs. HHH in a cage match for the title. That at least sounds interesting. Other than that there isn’t much here. Again, more or less just trying to get done with the 90s but someone requested European shows so it’s two birds with one stone. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is pretty awesome here so I can’t complain there. The arena looks good too so this at least looks and feels like a major show. Also, how often do European fans see something like this? That makes this far more awesome. What is UP with that commentary team though? That was rather odd.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

This is champion vs. champion here as Jarrett is IC Champion and Brown is European Champion. They actually flip a coin to decide which is on the line. Jarrett has a vacuum with him to further the whole anti-women thing. Miss Kitty looks great in a little red dress mind you. He offers 1,000 pounds to any woman that will….do something that he doesn’t actually say.

He does get some nice jabs at the women, including Halloween is at the end of October and not the beginning. The woman he picks is decent looking if nothing else. Ah ok he wants her to vacuum some oatmeal up. We’ll ignore that the vacuum isn’t plugged in that I can tell.

And the decent looking girl is put in the Figure Four. Chyna comes out for the save, and you would think that this should be the match but the coin toss happens and here’s D’Lo to a BIG pop. Dude this guy was legit over back in the day. Ah he’s European Champion and doing the I live in other cities every other week thing. He’s playing to the crowd at least. Jarrett can’t run away. I wish he would in TNA today.

It would get rid of this non-existent “war”. I can’t fathom how over Brown is. I’m rather impressed. He busts out a British Bulldog style suplex to further play to the crowd. See how simple it can be to get the fans behind you? The Sky High connects but both guys are down. Jarrett is good in the ring which is overlooked too often.

The Figure Four doesn’t work and Jarrett can’t figure him out, so he hits him with the vacuum for the pin. That’s the Attitude Era for you I guess. Good night Kitty looks good. Sorry she just popped up on screen. Jarrett challenges Chyna for later in the night.

Rating: B-. I liked it a lot actually. Brown had the crowd into this so that’s the key thing to keep in mind. Also they had me believing that the title could have changed hands. What more can you ask for an opener here? Brown was good at getting the crowd into things which is more important than almost anything, so good choice for the opener.

Godfather vs. Gangrel

No reason at all for this other than to have hot women come out and dance. Yeah they’re just in bikinis here. The women are ok looking at least. After Godfather’s usual stuff, we get Gangrel’s always sweet music.

Something tells me I know who is winning here. Hayes having to make the names Ho Train and Pimp Drop sound intimidating is rather amusing. If nothing else he’s filling in for Lawler as the dirty old man perfectly. Chyna will answer the challenge at the end of this match. Hmm I wonder what she’ll say. The Train and the Drop end this relatively easy.

Rating: D. This was so boring. It could have gone on any house show match and therefore I was rather bored with it. I mean there was nothing going on here and it was just to get “hot” women on screen. Yeah nothing special at all here to put it mildly.

Chyna accepts the challenge and says Jarrett has Va-Chyna Envy. Wow that was BAD. British Bulldog yells at her and gets booed. Bulldog wants a title match.

Val Venis vs. Mark Henry

Why? Why in the world is THIS on PPV? I have a feeling the intro could outlast the match. Make your own Venis lasting long jokes. His thing is about rugby so Becca loves it. Sweet goodness there were a lot of sex based characters back in the 90s. How horny were wrestling fans?

Venis’ character wasn’t one that could last very long. Can you imagine someone trying to make that work today? It would flop big time. Wow this isn’t interesting at all. It’s your run of the mill power vs. speed (I guess) match with Val just beating the tar out of the beached whale known as Henry before the Money Shot ends it in like 4 minutes.

Rating: D. This was also incredibly boring. We’re seeing the problem with these shows: the matches hardly ever make any sense and there’s nothing to them, so why should I want to see them? To be fair though, we weren’t the audience for them. This was just filler.

Smith is looking for Vince. Smith finds Vince. He demands a title shot and is turned down of course. He throws a stool and it hits Stephanie. Ok then. Now in case you didn’t notice, he’s a HEEL. I just want to make it clear that he is a HEEL.

Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory

Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy. Jackie is just so irritating and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.

The division was a bigger joke than it is today if you can believe that. Crowd is more or less dead here but not quite. The ECW Triple Sleeper is added to as it’s a quadruple sleeper. This is just a series of really stupid looking spots in a row. And Ivory hits Jackie with a belt and wins it. Wow I really could not have cared less there. Ross says he didn’t care because of Stephanie. Nice cover up there Jimbo.

Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least.

We re-air the Bulldog segment from 5 minutes ago that was stupid then and is stupid now. Stephanie is taken away on a stretcher. Bulldog isn’t upset about it at all.

Chris Jericho vs. Road Dogg

This was Jericho’s first feud and Road Dogg is WAY over. He’s a tag champion here if that means anything. Oh and Jericho went off on his back so it’s hurt. Dang it’s weird to think what Jericho would become after what he started as here. Curtis Hughes is still his bodyguard that no one cares about. It also amuses me that Jericho went through some big change in philosophy or whatever and never changed his music.

We’re in the crowd as this is already the most interesting match of the night. Good night they are shoving this Stephanie thing down our freaking throats. When Vince decided people were going to care about his family, he made sure they did. We’re in the ring now. Road Dogg is underrated in the ring too methinks. I always liked his in ring stuff more than Gunn actually which is a rare opinion as far as I can tell.

They’re using a lot of hot shots here which is odd. The crowd likes Jericho a bit I think, which is the problem with him. He’s hard not to like or at least be impressed by. SHUT UP ABOUT FREAKING STEPHANIE!!! I do not care a bit about her or her freaking head injury. SHUT UP ALREADY!

Oh the referee strike ended too. Yeah I don’t care either. This is by far and away the best/most interesting match so far. Could it have anything to do with these two being in a feud? We talk about the match for a bit but screw that. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT STEPHANIE!!! This is hitting WCW levels of annoying commentators. Jericho can’t get the Walls. He can’t get the Lionsault either.

And there goes the referee. Can we get a clean finish in a match that means something tonight? Is that too much to ask for? A chair shot that might cause paralysis only gets two for Jericho. And of course he’s fine a minute later. A low blow ends it in WEAK fashion.

Rating: B. The ending sucked the life out of it. Give this an ending and it’s WAY better. There was drama here for once which was something totally absent from the rest of the matches. Best match of the night BY FAR.

Fans wait to meet Show and Rock at a record store. Cool.

We have NO UPDATE on Stephanie.

Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is non-title mind you. If nothing else we get the red dress again. Jarrett is actually hitting her now so it’s an upgrade if nothing else. Pedigree attempt early on doesn’t work and we get an old school catapult. She really was impressive back in the day. And here’s British Bulldog beating up Chyna after about 2 minutes for the CHEAP DQ. I hate this show already. Jarrett gets the Figure Four afterwards. Naturally this is turned into something about Stephanie and her injury.

Rating: N/A. Yes it’s official: we’re watching a house show. This has been nothing but cheap heat and weak finishes. It’s been incredibly boring and nothing has actually happened.

We get to see Rock and Show meet fans. Allegedly there were 10,000 fans there. Cool if true.

Kane vs. Big Show

It’s no DQ here as House Show: England continues. Show jumps over the top rope. That’s impressive. Even Kane’s pyro is weak here. Kane is 182 pounds lighter than Show. That’s SCARY. This is one of the biggest rivalries ever. Think about it: they’ve feuded for like 10 years now. Show would be getting the world title in a month and a half in case you were wondering.

Naturally it’s the battle of the big men here and Big Show hits a dropkick but Kane lands on his feet. I like these matches so there. It’s face vs. face here so there you are. Hey! We have Kane vs. Big Show here in a battle of monsters that looks awesome. LET’S TALK ABOUT STEPHANIE!!! NOW LET’S DO IT AGAIN! Seriously, this is just idiotic at this point. This is formula based stuff but that’s the best thing to do here.

Show drops an audible F Bomb and puts on a Boston Crab all of 6 inches from the ropes. Show lets go of the hold even though as Hayes points out he wouldn’t have to break in a No DQ match. Kane busts out an enziguri. That’s cool if nothing else. Kane hits the top rope clothesline and of course the chokeslam doesn’t hit after it. Even a chair looks small in Show’s hand. Kane kicks it into his face and slams Show for the pin.

Rating: C+. These are usually hard to mess up and this one worked pretty well I thought. The key to these matches is you really don’t have to do all that much and it still looks cool because of their size. These two have good chemistry together so this was as fine as you would expect.

HHH doesn’t care about Bulldog, Jarrett or Chyna. Good to know. Rock is going to get his head kicked in apparently. The big feud would be in 2000. HHH wasn’t that good on the mic yet. Actually he was flat out bad. He’s getting betting though.

X-Pac vs. British Bulldog

Pac gets a POP and a half. Bulldog gets more or less no reaction. As Ross once said, how many ways can you repackage him? Also the lack of anything British isn’t helping him much. No one bought him as a legit title contender at this point as he was just subbing for the injured Taker. And cue up the Stephanie talk. Seriously, Smith is just a guy in jeans and boots. Why should I buy him as a legit threat to the title?

Take a wild guess as to who is going to win here. We still have no updates on Stephanie. More updates on our lack of updates in the next 8 seconds. There’s the suplex from Bulldog. It’s not quite Summerslam 92 but that’s still cool looking. They talk about how weird Bulldog is. He’d be gone in like a month or so.

Well not gone but out of the main event and jobbing. Stephanie will be in the hospital overnight. No update on what’s wrong with her or anything but at least it’s over for the next 20 seconds or so. Bronco Buster hits and I still hate it. There’s your powerslam and as bad as it looked, it ends the match.

Rating: D. This was pointless. Seriously, all night we hear about Bulldog and the title and no one cared about this at all. At least we’re a match closer to this being over. Just an awful show so far.

Crash weighs himself and makes jokes about British English.

Edge/Christian vs. Holly Cousins vs. Acolytes

Elimination rules here. Yeah I don’t care either. Edge and Christian are the number one contenders here but this is a number one contenders match. Sure why not. Ross tries to validate the logic here and of course it makes no sense but whatever. GOOD NIGHT I DO NOT FREAKING CARE ABOUT STEPHANIE!

The Hollies are the superheavyweights at the moment which was a gimmick I always liked to an extent. And they’re already fighting. Edge and Hardcore start us off. With everyone else on the floor, Crash escapes a powerbomb and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin and we’re down to the Acolytes and Edge and Christian.

You can hear a lot of called spots tonight. I wonder if that’s a British thing. Guess what we’re talking about now? Just take a guess. When Vince decides to make it about his family, stay clear of him if you care about your life. I love that Farrooq spinebuster.

And the rest is nothing but run of the mill stuff. Christian stays in the ring forever and gets beaten up, hot tag to Edge, Clothesline From JBL, Christian saves, tornado DDT and it’s over. Seriously, that’s it and it took nearly 5 minutes to do that.

Rating: D+. Seriously, I could not care less at this point. This show hasn’t been bad per se. It’s just been so boring and I couldn’t care less if my life depended on it. No one is interested, likely due to jet lag or something like that, the matches mean nothing, and no one is going to talk about this show later on. Why should they put in much effort?

Do you need an explanation of Rock vs. HHH? If you do, why are you reading this? Rock got a title match on Raw and Bulldog cost him the title. Bulldog got one on Smackdown and Rock refereed, costing Bulldog the title. Yep, Bulldog is going to interfere in the cage match isn’t he? Why yes I believe he is.

Stephanie is talked about even more. Let’s look at it again because we haven’t heard about it enough right? Well that and we’re an hour and 45 minutes into the show and we’re at the main event. Yeah this is less than two and a half hours long in total. There’s another reason it sucks.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH

Remember it’s a cage match. Rock gets a very big pop. Wow Michael Hayes has been driving me crazy all day. He’s just freaking annoying. Rock says a little something and for the first time tonight the crowd is WAY into it. He talks about Willy Wonka for no apparent reason. Even Rock is off today. An Oompa Loompa is going up HHH apparently. It’s very clear that they’re just stalling for time now.

Ross says that translates on any continent. Yeah because he’s speaking English in an English speaking country he needs a translator. Right Ross. Rock goes after an anti-Rock fan. All in good fun though and if nothing else at least he acknowledges it. That’s a good sign. Good night they’re stalling here. It’s understandable but it’s also annoying. Finally we get it going.

Ok just got something that cleared a lot up: Raw aired on Fridays on Sky in England as they keep talking about last night on Raw. That’s much better now. I think you can only win by escape here. This is your run of the mill pretty good cage match so far. Ross keeps calling the Samoan Drop the Samoan Slam. This just isn’t much at all. It’s ok but you’re just waiting for Bulldog to come in and screw Rock because you know it’s coming.

We do get some solid drama with Rock almost getting out though. Rock Bottom hits and of course both guys are down. Is there a reason we keep going to a wide shot like that? Pedigree hits and both guys are down again. Rock gets out but the referee is knocked down. Of course he is. And we’re in the crowd now. Well at least it’s interesting for the live crowd. That’s not fair actually as this has been a decent match.

Rock gets on the mic and yells at HHH. You know, because he couldn’t use the mic to yell at the referee and point out that he’s out right? HHH is busted open as Rock does some commentary. Rock gets a nice little elbow smash through HHH after jumping from the cage but the table didn’t break. This show needs to end badly. And we go back in the cage because that makes sense.

Why not throw HHH back in and STAY OUTSIDE UNTIL THE REFEREE WAKES UP??? See what I mean about this show making no sense? And there’s Smith to screw the Rock over. Shane comes out and beats up Bulldog which went nowhere. Patterson and Brisco come out to get beaten up. And now he’s beating everyone up. Seriously, the BRITISH BULLDOG is being made to look dominant.

Ah Rock took him down. Much better. Chyna comes out and slams the door on Rock and the overbooking here is idiotic. Yep HHH wins it. Oh and the running powerslam is just a falling slam now. Vince comes out and chains Bulldog and Rock inside. Sure put Rock in there with Bulldog when Rock is spent. That makes PERFECT sense. He comes back and the People’s Elbow gets a very nice pop to end the show.

Rating: B-. This was much better until the way overbooked and idiotic ending. Rock looked like a moron here and it bit him for it. The match itself was pretty good though all things considered. This went ok though and given all the issues it had, the match came off as well as it could have I think.

Overall Rating: F+. The wrestling isn’t terrible, but I cannot remember a show that I cared less about for the life of me. I mean there are TWO decent matches on the whole card. And when I say decent, I mean would be watchable on another show. They’re not good. All night long the important matches had screwjob endings and the bad matches had clean ones.

You could tell there was zero thought or effort put into this and it came off very badly. The Stephanie thing was just idiotic. I mean she was on camera 30 seconds combined and they talked about her more than they did about the Title match. That’s just idiotic all around. This was a house show that you could watch on PPV. Just a horrible show and not worth seeing any of.

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Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We it’s the final countdown here as we only have four shows left. The main event here is Lynn vs. Credible which is a big match for some reason I guess. It’s not like it matters much as their TV show’s last episode was five days after this. RVD gets his TV Title shot against Rhyno here in what should have been the big feud for the last 8 months or so but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Joel does his usual sex promo which is always funny and this is no exception. You could always tell he was having a blast doing those and he clearly is here too. We get the theme song with no real issue beforehand.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

Matthews is more famous as Joey Mercury. Doring and Roadkill continue to be the insanely popular team that finally got the tag belts once the company was dying. Doring and Matthews start us off. Roadkill is ridiculously popular and gets a ton of cheers as he destroys York. He’s Amish in case I didn’t mention that. York counters a slingshot into a leg drop from the middle rope which was pretty sweet.

The better faces clear the ring but Doring goes for a tope but just misses completely and crashes into the concrete in a HORRIBLE looking bump. York and Matthews hit stereo suicide dives which is one of my favorite spots. Roadkill hits a SWEET double clothesline off the top. By that I mean he was standing on the rope, not the corner. That was awesome. This is an awesome high flying match.

Roadkill hits a huge powerbomb on York and the squash is on. A double team slam/top rope leg drop ends this. They hug it out afterwards and Simon Diamond and Swinger show up with chairs to take out the winners.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here that got the crowd into the show quite well. The tag titles meant nothing at all though as they were gone for so long and Nova/Chetti was the best team in the company for like the last year or so. This means nothing though as the belts aren’t even on the line on this show. Decent match but it’s not like it means anything.

Gertner eats Lucky Charms as his diet regimen. Someone has been training him apparently.

Cyrus comes out and bashes Gertner while using the I’VE GOT POP line that TNN had back then. They have a match tonight which should be one sided as Cyrus used to be a wrestler. Cyrus says to get him, Gertner has to beat a guy named EZ Money. Money was a no name guy that wound up in the very last month of WCW as Jason Jett. Gertner gets scared. Cue Spike for no apparent reason. Apparently he’s the commissioner now which has to be a parody of WWF or WCW. He says Money has to beat Kid Kash for no apparent reason, setting up this.

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

Somehow the segment I just went through took about 8 minutes. To the shock of NO ONE, Kid Rock music gets no reaction in Minnesota. This should actually be fairly awesome. Kash could go, there’s no question about that. He had been pushed as a big time guy, actually beating Rhyno for the TV Title for two weeks. Money hits what would become his finisher in WCW (vertical suplex but he just lets him go so that Kash goes flying) for two.

The fans want tables and Money crashes onto all of his buddies. Kash hits an INSANE double jump front flip to the floor. If Kash could do nothing else, he could REALLY do big flips well. Gertner tries to get the crowd into things as Money hooks a reverse Boston Crabd and hooks Kash’s arms up with it in a PAINFUL looking move. Kash is just insane with these jumps and flips.

He hits a 360 tornado DDT for a long two as the fans are way into this. Kash hits what would be more commonly known as Whisper in the Wind and a bunch of other big flips and springboard moves for two. He was definitely exciting. Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gets nothing due to interference.

The referee doesn’t notice three guys in the ring other than Kash apparently. None of this works though as Kash is too big of a star to lose to EZ Money. Money goes for a top rope powerbomb but reverses into a rana for the pin in a sloppy but difficult  move. Gertner vs. Cyrus now.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be entertaining and it certainly was. Kash was fun to watch at times and this would certainly be in that list. Money was never anything all that special but he was ok here. This was just filler but for about 8 minutes it was a very solid cruiserweight style match.

The heels beat the tar out of Kash, Spike makes the save, Spike gets beaten up and Sandman comes in without music or anything to blow the roof off the place. Elektra tries to seduce him but gets beer poured on her chest and Gertner’s face shoved into them. Match finally.

Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner

Joel takes his shirt off and has Kamala paint on his chest. He goes for a People’s Elbow, even taking the neckbrace off. This is weird as Joel has no idea what he’s doing and Cyrus is a trained wrestler in a suit. It’s ALL Cyrus here of course as Gertner is pretty much dead. Pay no attention to Sandman out there. I’m sure he won’t do anything. Beer to Cyrus’ eyes and a rollup ends it for Gertner.

Rating: N/A. This was just for the ECW fans and it worked fine. It only took six months to get to this. They talk about how this is a victory over the Network, even though they would be canceled in 5 days anyway.

Beer bash follows.

Website plug and house show ads to fill time.

Da Baldies vs. Chilly Willy/Balls Mahoney

Angel and DeVito for the combination here. Willy was this guy that never meant anything but got a push near the end of the company due to no one else being around to get it. Joel comes back to commentary here and talks like a New Yorker in a funny bit. Mahoney has a fork and starts stabbing people with it. There’s a fork shot from the apron to the floor. Yeah this is going to end well.

This is the big blood/violence match of the night as Balls bites the cut and might have licked it a bit. There isn’t much here at all other than a DeVito moonsault in the crowd which mostly misses. Willy and Angel are more or less not involved here, leaving us with a one on one in the ring which isn’t that good. Angle runs back in and we get the staplegun to the eye. Three stereo chair shots to the faces end this.

Rating: D-. It’s your standard big brawl that means nothing at all but it got the fans into it so I guess we can pass it. A match with a staplegun to the eye though is just hard to get anything close to caring about or taking like pro wrestling as you probably guessed. I never got the appeal of these.

Lou E. Dangerously jumps Gertner. Joey goes after him and security drags him off. We go to the control room for no apparent reason where a guy is freaking now.

We go to Justin and Francine who we can’t hear at first. Oh he’s bashing Jerry Lynn. Credible is in a Favre jersey, which will NEVER mean anything in Minnesota. Nope not a thing.

Lynn says he’s tired of just being the best. He wants to be champion. If that was the case about two years ago, things would have gone differently for ECW.

Joey and Cyrus on commentary now. Is there a point to this after Cyrus got beat earlier?

Steve Corino vs. CW Anderson

The winner gets the title shot at the next PPV. I don’t remember either guy winning a PPV match recently but whatever. I think Corino is a face here but I’m not sure. Anderson is older than Corino? I wouldn’t have guessed that one. A long counter sequence starts us off and the fans are for Corino. They chop it out and amazingly Steve isn’t bleeding yet.

For a guy based around the idea of old school, Corino wasn’t very old school. As I type that Cyrus calls him out on it. Anderson is bleeding. Also isn’t Anderson supposed to be based on Arn Anderson? Therefore both of these guys are old school, and isn’t that completely against the idea of ECW in the first place? Corino takes a great chair shot and hey Steve is busted open. Even Joey points out how easily he bleeds.

Anderson goes for a Stunner on Corino’s arm as this really is old school based. They slug it out and Corino takes over for a bit. This has been pretty decent. Anderson gets crotches on a chair and they’re both down now. Corino goes Dusty Rhodes and I shake my head at him. Dusty, the guy that was supposed to be everything ECW was against, is getting tributes here. Simon and Swinger come out but Victory holds them off.

Anderson keeps trying to hit the spinebuster and never can get it. He sets up another chair in the middle of the ring but gets superkicked into it. He goes for the spinebuster AGAIN but gets caught in an Old School Expulsion (Reverse Twist of Fate and a great name for a move) on the chair for the pin and the title shot at November to Remember.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but it was lacking that pop to get it to be something good. The chairs were used far too much in this for a match that is supposed to be about who is the best wrestler. Again I ask, who else have these two beaten? I certainly can’t remember them getting a major PPV win but I guess they’ve been hot on TV or house shows. Not bad but certainly lacking something.

Mikey, Tajiri and Sinister Minister (James Mitchell) read a book about witchcraft and demonology and it lights on fire. Riveting.

Rhyno wants RVD tonight. Good thing he has him. He says he’ll shove Fonzie’s whistle up his…yeah. Up Fonzie’s that is.

Tag Titles: FBI vs. Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri

Once the titles hadn’t been in place for four months, Mikey and Tajiri won the belts in a tournament and held them for one day. The FBI, a former comedy team, held them for a few months before the final change at the next to last PPV. Nova and Chetti never got them of course. The challengers are in masks which is a weird look.

To my complete and utter shock, we start with a glorified comedy match. The Unholy Alliance (challengers) dominate and we get a Tarantula on Guido. Tony is tied up in the corner and gets a pair of baseball slides and a fireball. I continue to wonder why they called this wrestling after a certain point.

Can someone get these people a pizza before they all die? Tajiri slaps the turnbuckle to go with the clapping, but if he doesn’t speak English, how does he know it’s something he should clap to? Guido is busted open. They’re actually tagging in and out here which is rather odd. Unprettier is blocked by Mist but Sal pulls the referee out.

The Alliance is dominating here, meaning of course they’re going to lose. Yep there’s the belt into the ring from Sal. In a kind of creative ending, Tajiri takes Sal out with a moonsault but he lands on him and Tajiri can’t get out. A belt shot and an Unprettier keeps the titles on a completely uninteresting team for no apparent reason.

Rating: C+. This was ok and formula based but they could certainly have a better one. On TV where the titles changed hands, they apparently had a classic which I’ve heard a lot about but haven’t seen. This wasn’t bad at all but it was just kind of there. I still don’t get the appeal of the Italians as the champions though but they company was out of business in like four months anyway so it didn’t really matter.

More house show/website stuff.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Rob Van Dam

The whole RVD never got beat and Rhyno is the bigger and better champion is decided here apparently while Justin Credible is main eventing another PPV. Rhyno charges while RVD is doing his spin kick to his name. We immediately go to the floor and I’m not sure if there was a bell yet. This is another of those big brawls that doesn’t really prove anything at all but the fans love them so they kept happening.

The lights are weird here as things are really dark. It’s likely the company just couldn’t afford it I guess. Van Dam hits an over the ropes dive to take out Rhyno. The idea here is RVD’s usual stuff isn’t working so he’s having to hit and run. The skateboard dropkick hits in the corner and the challenger is dominating. Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes. It must be a Canadian thing.

Rhyno hits a middle rope clothesline to kill RVD and take over. And it’s table time. You knew it was coming. Rhyno hits a chinlock as Alfonzo blows his whistle in time with the RVD chants. Five Star gets two and he’s stunned. The Gore hits and there’s the piledriver through the table. Fonzie hits Rhyno with a chair to set up the Van Daminator.

Van Terminator misses thanks to Justin interfering for no apparent reason and it hits Fonzie. Rhyno hits a running spinebuster through the table and then a piledriver on a chair ends it. I always hated that move for him as he’s a power guy using a move that Jerry Lawler used a lot. Never got that.

Rating: D+. You know for a big clash, this was pretty weak. RVD loses….why? Heyman wouldn’t put the spotlight on him because of guys like Justin? This wouldn’t have saved the company but it would have given them a better chance. This was a pretty weak match that didn’t feel special. It’s not really that good and while it’s entertaining, this should have been a main event somewhere instead of a throwaway match. But that would be logical booking which didn’t exist around this time so there we are.

Fonzie is more or less dead and takes forever to get taken out. There might have been a heel referee making a fast count too.

Did you know about the website and the house shows?

We’re at about 8 minutes of nothing at all happening at this point.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is the home town guy here so the ending should be clear but it’s ECW so of course it’s not. Justin is still wearing the Favre jersey in Minnesota which is supposed to get heel heat. That doesn’t date the shot at all. Francine has a broken rib or something. Again, these two are in the main event and RVD isn’t. Lynn gets the hometown boy pop and it’s not bad.

We stall FOREVER as it’s been fifteen minutes plus since the last match ended and this one hasn’t even started yet. We start with some technical stuff and the fans think Francine is a crack w****. Joey isn’t sure if Justin can outwrestle Jerry. Great to see that kind of thought going into things here. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog and we hit the mat again.

Justin goes into the corner and goes to the floor. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he hadn’t jumped over the ropes like that. The plancha mostly misses though and everyone is down. This is moving pretty slowly but there’s a TON of time left so they have time to set something up. I knew the in ring stuff was going on too long. We head to the floor to get away from this wrestling nonsense. Can’t have that now.

Lynn hits a DDT on the chair to get us back to even. This match feels like something that should be in the midcard rather than the main event. Justin gets on a mic and yells at Lynn which is cheap heat 101 and there’s nothing wrong with that. We get our like third DDT of the match on the chair. Mix it up a bit guys. And there are a pair of legdrops to fix that.

Francine makes a save so there’s no table for Credible. He can’t beat Jerry though and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for two, killing the crowd. Credible gets his own piledriver for two and they’re back. The referee gets kicked in the face and another is here. He gets to two and then just stops. It’s the same referee from the RVD match so yeah he was cheating earlier. Belt shot gets two.

He’s counting so fast that Jerry is having to in essence kick at what would be a two in a normal match but is almost three here. Tombstone again gets two and it’s New Jack. Dang it. He was supposed to be the referee for no apparent reason and here he is. Cookie sheet (New Jack needs his own cooking show) for the referee but Credible knocks out Jack. He walks into a Cradle Tombstone to give Lynn the title though.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, but like I said this feels like a big midcard match and not a main event on a PPV. That’s not a good sign at all but at least Credible isn’t champion anymore. Again, RVD is never champion but Credible was for over five months. Yeah that’s intelligent. The match was good, but it was Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the world title. See a problem here?

The locker room empties and Lynn makes a big speech. Or at least he would if the mic works. Seriously?

A Limp Bizkit video to Rollin with highlights of the show ends it.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t suck. It’s certainly not a great show or anything like that, but this was certainly one of the better ECW shows. The problem is of course though that the company is dead at this point and this show really didn’t mean much of anything. The booking here is a bit odd but at the same time it came off as a fun show and there was some good stuff on here. If you’re incredibly bored and can actually find it, take a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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NXT
Date: October 2, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Alex Riley, Tony Dawson, Renee Young

It’s a big show tonight with both the Bo Dallas open challenge and the Ascension challenging Graves and Neville for the tag titles. The main question in the open challenge isn’t will Sami Zayn get involved but how will he get involved. The big showdown is coming and the blowoff match is going to be awesome. Let’s get to it.

Fandango is here tonight for a mixed tag with Summer Rae against Emma and whomever she can find for a partner.

Welcome Home.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Emma/???

The partner is…..Santino, meaning he now gets to waste our time on NXT too. The guys start with Santino almost falling off the buckles while posing. The fans insist that he try it again but they have to settle for the middle rope. Wait we’re still not ready as the guys have to dance a bit. The fans tell Fandango that he got served so he tries a kick to the ribs. Both guys catch kicks at the same time until Santino shoves him away. A right hand drops Marella as we’re finally going a bit.

Santino teases the Cobra, sending Fandango to the floor. Renee teaches the Cobra to dance and we take a break. Back with Fandango not being sure what to do so here are the girls for a change of pace. Summer wants nothing to do with Emma so it’s back to the guys again. Phillips: “Doing the do-see-do instead of the Fandango.” They change over and over until Fandango gets annoyed and punches Santino in the jaw. Apparently Fandango has been hitting on Renee but she doesn’t seem to mind that much.

An uppercut sends Santino into the corner and Summer gets in a hard slap, drawing Emma out to the floor. Santino makes a dive to the empty corner for the tag in a cute spot. Santino can’t nip up so Fandango goes up for the legdrop but Santino rolls across the ring before Fandango jumps. This is so funny that they do it three times in a row until Marella rolls him up for two.

Now the nip-up works and it’s off to the girls for their first contact. Summer misses a charge and gets caught in the Dilemma followed by the cross body in the corner for two. Santino gives Emma the sock but it’s time for a catfight instead. Summer is whipped into Fandango which catapults him in and also counts as a tag. Everything breaks down and our heroes do stereo Santino spots until Santino hits the Cobra for the pin on Fandango at 10:15 shown of 13:45.

Rating: C. The comedy in this match was stupid, but at the same time, what else was this match supposed to be? Emma is so adorable that it’s almost impossible to dislike her and Santino is what he is. The interesting part here was Renee who came off as funny, witty and charming on commentary without trying too hard. That’s a nice surprise.

Ascension says what they did to Cassady and Amore is nothing compared to what they’ll do to win the tag titles.

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper

Renee is off commentary. Ohno is looking in a bit better shape. Harper comes out on his own and looks more confused than usual. Ohno is quickly sent out to the floor but comes back with a one foot dropkick to stagger Harper. Not that it matters as a clothesline puts Ohno down and Harper rains down punches. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kassius fights up and connects with some strikes. Harper rolls to the floor but even a baseball slide can’t knock him down. Back in and it’s the big boot and a discus lariat to end Ohno at 2:57. This was a squash.

Amore and Cassady want another shot at Rusev and Dawson. Cassady says he wouldn’t even let Dawson fix his car. The only thing Rusev is breaking is his mother’s heart by not wearing shoes. Enzo says Dawson and Rusev have been eating tacos. SAWFT tacos! Cassady: “I worry about you sometimes.”

Mojo Rawley is going to hype us next week. I’ve heard a lot about him but I’ve never actually seen him.

Tag Titles: Ascension vs. Corey Graves/Adrian Neville

Ascension is challenging. Neville and Victor get us going with the champion flipping around and kicking Victor down for two. Victor gets kicked in the head but shrugs it off to bring in O’Brien. Neville escapes a suplex and makes the tag off to Graves who still has injured ribs, which are made worse by a flapjack from O’Brien for two. Victor comes back in and goes right after the ribs before giving it back to Conor.

Back from a break with Graves hitting a cross body on Victor but injuring his ribs in the process. O’Brien hooks a body scissors to keep Graves in trouble before it’s back to Victor for more right hands to the head. We hit another chinlock until Graves fights up and avoids a charge in the corner, sending Rick’s shoulder into the post.

Off to Neville for the rapid fire kicks and a pair of dropkicks to lay out Ascension. Both guys are knocked to the floor for a BIG dive to take out both challengers. Victor is sent back in and caught with a springboard missile dropkick for two. A high kick to the head looks to set up Red Arrow but Rick moves at the last second, giving Victor two. Graves pulls Neville to the corner for the tag but walks into a running knee to the head. Fall of Man (Total Elimination) is enough for the pin and the titles for O’Brien at 10:40 shown of 13:00.

Rating: C. This is exactly what this match should have been. Graves and Neville never felt like anything but transitional champions while Ascension has looked like the future of the tag division from the day the show debuted. This is the kind of match it needed to be: the champions fighting for all they were worth but just being out matched at the end of the day.

RVD is here next week.

Bo Dallas Invitational

The idea is that anyone can come out to challenge Dallas and if anyone can pin him, they get a title shot in two weeks. The first guy up is named Chance Champion which I found online. He doesn’t get an entrance, so the fans chant “Let’s go this guy!” because they’re actually paying attention to the show instead of saying random things to entertain themselves. Champion (the person, not the champion) gets a quick rollup for two but Bo pounds him in the corner and spears him down for the pin at 1:12.

Next up is Leo Kruger and Bo seems ready. Actually wait as here’s Antonio Cesaro instead to take the shot. The fans want a triple threat but the challengers fight instead until Kruger is sent to the floor. Cesaro brags too much though and gets dumped by Dallas, which I guess is an elimination?

Next in is El Local who avoids a quick and hits a running boot to the face in the corner for the pin in 30 seconds. The fans chant OLE and SI before it’s revealed to be Sami Zayn. Somewhere Dean Malenko is smiling.

Overall Rating: A. We had a genuinely entertaining comedy match, good looking women dancing, a squash, new champions and the revisiting of a classic angle to give the fans what they want. Also there was the LET’S GO THIS GUY chant which was actually clever. This show just works for a variety of reasons, but there’s one I haven’t touched on yet: the lack of pay per views.

In WWE you have four weeks at most for the majority of pay per views so you have to speed things up in order to have a new card in that short amount of time. Here the stories can grow and build as they’re supposed to and the shows are far easier to sit through as a result. If you’re sick of Raw and love wrestling like it used to be, check this show out.

Results

Santino Marella/Emma b. Fandango/Summer Rae – Cobra to Fandango

Luke Harper b. Kassius Ohno – Discus lariat

Ascension b. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves – Fall of Man to Graves

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Look back at the last few weeks and this isn’t very clear.

Who is the focal point of Raw?  It’s not Bryan, who was only on TV for about five minutes on Monday and got laid out to end the show.

It might be Orton, who is becoming his old self again.

HHH/Stephanie?  Yeah probably, but they’re not really even involved in the main feud.

Punk?  Well he and Heyman are getting as much TV time as anyone so we could go with one of them.

In short, it’s really not clear who or what Raw is focused around right now and it’s making for some weaker shows.

Hart Foundation
Host: Craig DeGeorge
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This is something I haven’t done in a good while: an old Coliseum Video. The tape is exactly what it sounds like: a profile on the Hart Foundation featuring matches and interviews. I guess I can force myself to sit through an hour and forty minutes of one of the best tag teams ever. Let’s get to it.

In case you’re REALLY new at this, the Hart Foundation (the Harts) are Bret the Hitman Hart and Jim the Anvil Neidhart.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs

This is barely even a match as it’s more important for referee Danny Davis using some very questionable tactics, including going to the floor as Smith has Neidhart covered. The Harts hit a double DDT on Smith as Davis is on the floor, followed by the Hart Attack and a fast count to give the Harts the belts. Davis had been teasing a heel turn forever but this finally cemented it and got the Harts rolling. The whole thing was less than three minutes from bell to bell.

We now jump back in time a bit, as is the custom with almost all of these tapes.

Hart Foundation vs. Rougeau Brothers

This is from MSG on September 22, 1986 and is the Rougeaus’ MSG debut. We’re joined in progress but it doesn’t seem to be that long. Bret cranks on Jacques’ arm to start but Jacques takes over before flipping over Bret’s back into a dropkick to send Hart to the floor. Off to Ray for a headlock and a dropkick of his own to send Bret back to the floor. The Harts huddle in the aisle before it’s off to Jacques vs. Anvil.

Jacques can’t budge the big Anvil so Neidhart just strokes his beard and says bring it. Neidhart tries a shoulder but Jacques jumps over him and catches Jim in a slam. Bret breaks up a Boston crab attempt and it’s Jacques in trouble. The Harts hit something resembling the Demolition Decapitator for two as the crowd is still into this. Jacques is sent to the floor where Bret drops him face first on a chair because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Back inside and we hit the chinlock from Bret for a second before Jacques comes back with a monkey flip. Neidhart comes back in for a front facelock and Bret comes in to break up a tag attempt. Jacques tries to speed things up but gets caught with a knee in the back to put him down. Neidhart ducks a spinning cross body as Jacques is still in trouble. Back to Bret who puts on a front facelock of his own but it’s Neidhart coming in to distract the referee so he misses the tag to Ray.

Bret ties Jacques in the ropes for a cross body but the middle rope elbow misses. Neidhart can’t prevent the tag this time and it’s off to Ray to speed things up. After some of the house is cleaned Ray hooks a sleeper on Neidhart, only to have Bret break things up. Everything breaks down and Ray charges into Bret’s boots in the corner. The distraction is enough for Jacques to slingshot in with a sunset flip to pin Neidhart.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but it picked up at the end. The Rougeaus were a nice high flying tag team but there wasn’t much to them as far as personality goes. By the time they fixed that problem in the late 80s they had been surpassed by a bunch of teams and injuries caught up to them. Still though, decent match here.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Bret Hart

From Boston on March 8, 1986. Bret doesn’t mean anything yet and Steamboat hasn’t established himself as a master, meaning at this point he’s just good. Apparently Bret picked this match himself over how awesome he thought it was. Bret jumps Steamboat in the corner as Jimmy Hart invades the commentary booth to brag about how awesome Bret is. Steamboat counters a whip to send Bret chest first into the buckle to get himself a breather. The fans are WAY into Steamboat here.

Ricky chops away but stops to go after Jimmy. For once the distraction actually isn’t a problem as he grabs an armbar on Hart. A series of right hands and chops to the arm have Bret in trouble so Steamboat lifts him into the air by the arm to show off a bit. Back up and Ricky speeds things up by sliding through Bret’s legs twice in a row before snapping off a great armdrag to get us back to the armbar. Jimmy talks a lot and in the only time I can remember, Ricky shouts at him to SHUT UP.

Back up again and Steamboat leapfrogs a few times before hiptossing Bret back into the armbar. Bret fights up but walks into a superkick to put him right back down. A spinning neckbreaker FINALLY puts Steamboat down to give Bret some control. Bret stomps at the ribs and pounds away as only he can, including a right hand to the ribs to send Steamboat to the floor. A suplex brings Ricky back in for two.

Off to a headlock by Hart but the fans are right there to cheer Ricky back into things. A clothesline puts Steamboat down again but he slams Hart to get a breather. Ricky’s splash hits knees though and Hart takes control again. They head outside so Bret can hug Jimmy and send Steamboat back first into the apron. Back in and a powerslam gets two on the Dragon but Bret misses the middle rope elbow.

Steamboat suplexes him down for two as both guys are spent. Ricky drives in some shots to the head and shoves the referee away so he can chop at Hart in the corner. The referee gets crushed in the corner before Bret hits the Hart Attack clothesline so there’s no count. Back up again and Bret hits a cross body but Steamboat rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but Bret didn’t have anything that would have finished Dragon off. If this was about three years later it could have been a classic but as it is it’s just very good. Steamboat was just so smooth out there and could have a good match with anyone, so if you put him with someone like Hart it’s guaranteed gold.

Hart Foundation/Honky Tonk Man vs. Junkyard Dog/Davey Boy Smith/Tito Santana

Bret is spelled Brett in the pre-match graphics. This is from January 6, 1987 at a Superstars but that dolt DeGeorge says it’s from December of 86. Bret and Davey get us going with Smith shoving Hart around with ease. Davey slams all three heels down with ease and it’s time for a meeting on the floor. Back in and Smith slides through Bret’s knees and gets two off a victory roll.

Off to Honky vs. JYD with the Dog pounding away to the biggest reactions of the match. Neidhart comes in and immediately takes his straps down, only to accidentally hit Honky with a forearm. Off to Tito for right hands and a front facelock before Honky gets the tag. That only lasts for a few seconds before Tito punches him into the corner for a tag off to Bret. We get the required chest bump in the corner from Hart and it’s back to JYD for an armbar.

Neidhart comes in and finally gets a shot in to Dog’s throat to put him down. Honky drops some elbows on Dog before it’s back to Hart to work on the back. A legdrop gets two and we hit the chinlock so Dog can have a breather. Heenan tries to explain that the booing Honky is getting could be for Tito or the Dog, getting a rare chuckle from Gorilla. Dog gets caught in a chinlock but his tag to Santana isn’t seen, allowing Honky to come back in for a chinlock of his own.

Dog fights up again but gets caught in a front facelock from Neidhart. Honky comes back in off an unseen tag to clothesline Dog down for two. A middle rope fist drop misses though and it’s hot tag to Tito. There’s the flying forearm but Anvil makes a quick save. Back to Bret for an atomic drop before they hit head to head. Tito crawls over and brings in Smith as everything breaks down. In a stupid finish, all three heels are whipped into each other out of different corners and the Bulldog pins Hart.

Rating: D. Well the good times on the tape had to end sooner or later. JYD was very over with the crowd but man alive could he drag a match down in a hurry. Way too many chinlocks and rest holds here on top of a stupid finish to make things even worse. Also, for a tape about the Hart Foundation, shouldn’t they win more matches?

We now go to the big piece of the tape: an investigative report at the Hart Foundation headquarters. It’s a big office building with a receptionist and a bunch of awards and plaques on the walls. The receptionist doesn’t know who Gene is so he makes some sexist jokes as is his custom. She winds up showing him around and explaining some of the awards and photos on the wall. Allegedly there are 200 secretaries working for the Foundation. Gene hears someone screaming but the receptionist says she didn’t hear a thing.

The receptionist asks for Gene’s credentials as this is getting stupid in a hurry. Gene is shuffled off to a second receptionist who appears to be a reject from a bad adult film. Back to the first receptionist who doesn’t remember him. Gene gets frustrated and finally goes through a door to find the Harts (including Danny Davis, now a bad wrestler) playing with action figures. Jimmy freaks out and eventually says he’ll answer some questions.

Hart tells the origins of the Hart Foundation, talking about Neidhart being the greatest football player of all time (he never played in any regular season NFL games) and Bret being a scientific master. Jimmy insists that the toys are ACTION figures because girls play with dolls. He also claims that they get cheated in every match they don’t win and a WE DIDN’T LOSE chant breaks out.

Gene suggests that Davis is a crooked referee because his knuckles are red from taking money under the table. Jimmy says pink is awesome as a screaming girl goes running by, but none of the Harts see her. Gene wants to know where their gym equipment is so the receptionists come back in to act as “trainers”. Bret insists that Stu knows about this because he’s here once a month. We’re finally done after almost fifteen minutes of this nonsense.

We now get the Danny Davis Story, which saw him come to the ring to take over as referee for a Tito Santana vs. Rocky Stone (jobber) match but Jack Tunney suspends him for life instead. Tito realizes he can destroy Davis now with no repercussions but Jimmy Hart gets Davis out of the way.

Jimmy welcomes Davis to the Hart Foundation.

Hart Foundation vs. Jerry Allen/Jim Powers

From March 7, 1987 on Superstars, only here to see Davis in wrestling gear for the first time. This is also non-title. Allen throws Bret into the corner to start but gets clotheslined down so it’s off to Neidhart. Bret slingshows Jim in over the top for a splash but Neidhart pulls him up at two. Hart Attack ends this quick.

We get some clips from the six man tag with the Foundation against Tito and the Bulldogs from Wrestlemania 3. All we see is Davis getting DESTROYED by all three guys until a melee saves him and Bret cracks Dynamite with the megaphone to give Davis the fluke pin.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs

This is from Boston on November 1, 1986 with the Bulldogs defending. Bret shoves Dynamite around to start but Dynamite shoves right back. Kid fights out of the corner and knocks Hart to the floor before coming back in to face Davey. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Hart but he bails to the floor again. Neidhart comes in and gets dropkicked down before being caught in a headlock.

Anvil comes back with a hard slam and pulls Bret in for a slingshot splash for two. The Harts take over on Davey with the fast tags and cheating where they can sneak it in. Bret chokes away in the corner as Jim has the referee before taking Davey to the floor for a slam. Back to Neidhart for a chinlock with a knee in the back before shifting to a front facelock. Bret comes in to break up a hot tag, meaning we have a regular spot from the Harts.

Smith grabs a quick two off a crucifix, only to be stomped down by Bret again. We hit the front facelock again but Bret pulls Smith back to the Hart corner to break up the tag again. Bret hooks a sleeper but Davey fights out and hits a quick press slam, allowing for the hot tag off to Dynamite. The Kid cleans house and hits his snap suplex and a headbutt on Bret.

Hart gets caught in a sleeper but the referee gets taken out by his flailing arms. Neidhart gets in a cheap shot on Dynamite and drags Bret over but it’s only good for two. BIG pop on the kickout there. Anvil slams Dynamite down and puts Bret on top again but Kid kicks out AGAIN. Bulldog gets up and gets an illegal pin on the illegal Anvil to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. Really solid match here with both teams looking great. Those kickouts at the end had the fans going nuts and for good reason. These teams ha incredible chemistry together and again that’s something you can’t teach. The fans always respond to it as well which is all you can ask for.

Bret lays out Dynamite with a piledriver post match.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees

From MSG on February 23, 1987 with the Harts defending. Bret has said these teams fought each other somewhere between 300-500 times so to say they know each other is an understatement. Anvil starts against Jim Brunzell as Jimmy Hart says Danny Davis has every right to be at ringside. Brunzell cranks on the arm to start so it’s quickly off to Bret. Brunzell can’t get a hiptoss so he opts for a headscissors into a sunset flip for two before cranking on the arm.

It’s off to Brian Blair who gets Bret tied up in the ropes. Jimmy panics as Blair slingshots Bret into Anvil, sending the champions out to the floor. Back in with Brunzell cranking on Bret’s arm before it’s back to Blair for a double elbow to the face. Bret drives Blair into the corner and Anvil takes over with raw power. Back to Bret who gets two off a clothesline and drives a knee into Blair’s ribs. Anvil gets in some blatant cheap shots to the ribs right in front of the referee.

Bret hooks the front facelock and drives Blair back into the corner for some choking from Anvil. Neidhart puts on a chinlock before slamming Blair down for the slingshot splash from Bret. Brian reverses Bret into the corner for the chest bump but Hart is able to drive him back into the corner for the tag off to Neidhart. Blair tries to run the ropes but a Hart knee to the back stops him again.

Neidhart hooks a bearhug before we get the front facelock spot that the Harts have used in every match so far. Bret puts on a reverse chinlock but gets countered into an electric chair to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Brunzell and house is cleaned. The bell rings for no apparent reason and in the confusion Davis blasts Brunzell, giving Bret the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that’s almost impossible to screw up. The Bees were never very successful but they were fine for spots like this by making the champions look good. Davis was doing what he was supposed to do here as he was never going to be anything of note in the ring.

Overall Rating: B-. Oh come on it’s the Hart Foundation and this isn’t even their best stuff. The good thing about this tape is that it focuses on the tag team and only touches on Davis’ involvement. There’s SO much more they could include if there was a full length DVD made about these guys which is something WWE might want to look into. Good stuff here if you have an hour and a half to kill.

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