Monday Night Raw – March 22, 1999: The #1 Moment In Raw History

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 1999
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 12,264
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally the go home show for Wrestlemania and things should be pretty much set in stone. However, since this is Russo World, it’s time for some last minute changes to the midcard because he can’t sit still for five minutes. There is however one major thing on this show that will be remembered for years to come. Let’s get to it.

Austin arrives and talks to the driver of a beer truck. That brings a smile to my face.

Here’s the Corporation to open the show. Vince talks about how great of a night Wrestlemania will be for them before handing the mic off to the European Champion Shane McMahon. Shane brags about how he can beat X-Pac like a drum but wants to do it tonight instead of Sunday. Vince says that his family is very secure and says Big Boss Man and others will be waiting on Undertaker when he arrives tonight. He believes Austin and Undertaker are working together but it’s not going to work.

Rock says we’re six days away from heading to Philadelphia for the end of Austin’s career. Austin is shown watching in the back but Rock isn’t surprised because Austin is drawn to Rock’s star power. Rock guarantees that Austin can’t beat him but Austin is going for a walk in the back. Vince makes Austin vs. Big Show for tonight with Rock as guest referee to make sure things are all fair.

This brings out Mankind who calls himself the best referee there is, was and ever will be, meaning it should be Rock vs. Mankind for the right to referee the main event. We’re now having matches to determine the referee for the main event on the same show. That’s one thing on Wrestlemania (and that’s a BIG stretch) but now we’re doing it on Raw? Mankind talks about how Shawn Michaels is cool with this and leaves, but Vince says cut the music. He talks about a street fight but gets cut off by Austin…..in a beer truck.

It’s the famous moment with Austin driving a Coors Light truck into the arena and saying he’ll win the title at Mania before spraying Rock and the McMahons down with beer. This was voted the #1 moment for the first ten years of Raw which is pretty ridiculous when you think about it. It’s not even Austin’s biggest moment on Raw, with stuff like the first Stunner to Vince or costing Rock the title two months before this would pretty easily trump this. It’s a cool moment, but it’s not THAT good. Vince swimming in beer still works really well though.

Apparently JR is at a frat party. This JR IS EVIL stuff is really stupid.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. The Brood

It’s Edge/Gangrel challenging. Gangrel pounds on Owen to start but gets caught in a spinwheel kick. Off to Edge who gets about a foot away from Owen as Hart dives over. They call it a powerslam but I think that move needs actual contact to count. Jarrett comes in and gets caught in the Edge-O-Matic for no cover. Christian comes in from the floor as I guess we’re under Freebird Rules. Again it’s Russo World so why not. Edge gets two off a high cross body as the teams have changed corners. Everything breaks down and Owen hooks the Sharpshooter on Edge but Public Enemy comes in for the no contest.

Everyone brawls but the lights go out. They come back on to reveal Debra covered in blood. Somehow after that match, we needed a battle royal with the last two guys in the ring getting the title shot at Wrestlemania.

The Outlaws say they’ll beat each other tonight.

The Corporation gives Shane a pep talk and the Stooges are sent to get coffee.

Hardcore Title/Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Road Dogg

Title vs. Title with Roadie defending the IC Title and Gunn defending the Hardcore Title because Vince Russo likes to mess with us. This isn’t a hardcore match despite the title being on the line. Feeling out process with both guys scoring with basic stuff until Roadie armdrags Gunn into the corner. Gunn sends him into a corner as well, only to be punched down for the shaky knee. Billy armdrags Roadie down a few times and hits the Fameasser but here are Snow, Goldust and Venis for the DQ.

Rating: D-. As is the case with almost any wrestling in this era outside of the main event, this was worthless. There are two problems here. First of all is the aforementioned double switch. It messed up months of stories and gave us Billy Gunn as a hardcore guy which didn’t fit at all but it was surprising so it’s good right? Second, no one wanted to see the Outlaws fight so no one was interested in the match. Nothing to see here.

Something scares the Stooges.

Back from a break and the Stooges have been attacked by……the Legion of Doom? Oh because of the imitation last week. Yeah whatever.

Here’s Blue Meanie with a chair to call out Ken Shamrock for some reason. He says that the company isn’t big enough for the both of them so tonight the Meanie is taking a stand. Shamrock’s music hits but it’s Ryan instead of Ken. Meanie tries to spank her but here are Ken and Goldust, who wind up brawling as Meanie and Ryan bail. Meanie saves Goldust from the ankle lock with a chair shot. I guess that’s your Intercontinental Title build.

Back to the JR frat party as JR wants girls.

The Ministry of Darkness arrives.

Sable vs. Ivory

Non-title. Ivory’s friend D’Lo Brown jumps in on commentary. Sable wants to stretch before we get going and we hear about Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow vs. Billy Gunn at Mania. Cue PMS as Sable hits a horrible kick to Ivory’s ribs. Terri and Jackie yell at D’Lo and Ivory gets a pair of near falls. Jackie trips Ivory and Sable wins with the powerbomb. This was nothing, again.

Tori comes in and beats Sable down.

Mankind vs. The Rock

The winner gets to referee the main event tonight. They brawl to the floor to start with Rock being sent into the steps, only to come back and post Mankind. The referee takes a chair away from Rock but he suplexes Mankind on the floor as they head inside. Mankind comes back with a slam of his own to set up his own People’s Elbow but only hits mat. A low blow stops Rock’s comeback but Mankind is a good guy so it’s ok. Rock hits him low right back and it’s out to the floor again.

We get the always funny mid-match commentary from Rock but the distraction lets Mankind score with a clothesline. Back in and Rock stomps away in the corner but Mankind fires off right hands of his own. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Rock hits a DDT. Back up and Mankind hits the double arm DDT but still no referee. Instead it’s Socko time, which draws out Big Show to chokeslam Mankind, drawing the DQ from the awakening referee.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to develop but Rock vs. Foley is always worth checking out. There’s natural chemistry there and you just can’t teach something like that. Mankind was on the down side of his career at this point but he was still more than a big enough deal to give the fans hope.

Rock yells at Big Show.

Kane vs. Goldust

Goldust vs. Shamrock vs. Venis vs. Road Dogg is announced for the PPV. No match though as Goldust throws a fireball at Kane, revealing himself to be HHH in disguise. This is retaliation for Kane burning Chyna a few weeks ago.

Austin tells Mankind to stay out of his way in the main event.

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

This is non-title and in the parking lot. Pac kicks him down and pounds away, drawing the Mean Street Posse in to beat Pac down. The rich guys speed off in sports cars.

Ken Shamrock/Big Bossman/Test vs. Undertaker/Acolytes

Brawl to start (duh) with Boss Man staring Taker down. He blasts Undertaker in the head with the nightstick but Taker sits up. Everything heads outside and then into the crowd as another “match” ends in less than two minutes.

The lights go out as we go to a break.

The lights lead nowhere as a disheveled Vince has something to say after the break. He shows us the beer bath again before guaranteeing that Austin won’t enjoy what’s coming. There’s no chance that Austin wins the title back on Sunday because tonight’s guest commentator will beat him at Wrestlemania.

Big Show vs. Steve Austin

This was supposed to be the main event of Wrestlemania 2000 if you can believe that. Mankind is guest referee. Austin flips Show off to start but gets thrown into the corner. Show won’t be whipped across the ring and chops Austin down. Austin slips away and takes Show’s leg down before trying to wrap it around the post. Big Show kicks Austin over the barricade from his back but Mankind breaks up some choking.

A buckle pad was ripped away in the process and Austin is rammed face first into the steel for two. Austin tries a Stunner but Big Show casually picks him up and launches Austin away. Austin staggers to the floor and Big Show press slams him on the concrete. Rock: “It wasn’t on his head but the Rock will take that.”

Show picks him up again but Austin posts him for no effect. Instead Austin gets launched into the post to put him down again. Mankind grabs a chair to force it back into the ring as Austin is in big trouble. There’s a bearhug on Austin but he finally bites his way out. The Thesz Press takes Show down and Austin grabs the chair. Two shots to the leg and three to the head (Mankind is cool with it) set up the Stunner for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a brawl here to give the fans something to get excited about for Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with combining the two feuds into one match and I’m glad that it wasn’t the standard tag match for a change. Big Show really came off like a monster here and Austin needing to heat to beat him was a nice touch.

Post match two brawls break out with Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Austin to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it definitely hyped up Wrestlemania, but the booking isn’t much in the way of quality. Wrestling was cast off during 1999 in favor of fast segments disguised as wrestling matches to build interest into an eventual match. The problem was when those matches sucked, what were the fans supposed to care about? Good buildup show, not a great show in general.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/24/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xv-russo-at-his-best/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




On This Day (Second Post): September 22, 1997 – Monday Night Raw: The First Shot Is Fired

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 1997
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 14,615
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is yet another request but in this case there’s at least a great match on here. We’ve got HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight which is considered one of the better hardcore matches of all time. They would go on to have one of the best matches of all time period in the same arena in about two years and three months, so this is pretty much an appetizer for that. Also there’s something happening for the first time ever here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the history of the WWF in Madison Square Garden. According to this, Gorilla vs. Sammartino sold the place out SEVENTEEN STRAIGHT TIMES. That’s NUTS. Really cool video here.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Rocky Maivia vs. Ahmed Johnson

He isn’t quite the Rock yet. Commissioner Slaughter comes out behind the Nation to make sure there are no shenanigans. The winner of this gets Farrooq next week in the semi-finals. Johnson knocks Rock to the floor and launches him to the corner via a choke. Maivia finally gets a breather and hits that spinning DDT of his for two. Captain Lou Albano wanders out and takes some notes. Ahmed runs over Rocky again but gets thrown to the floor by Rocky.

Rock, being the ham that he is, does Ahmed’s pose which would be a bit more intimidating if Rocky’s trunks weren’t a bit bejeweled. Ahmed gets whipped into the steps and his hand is sliced open. That may have been an old wound that just got exacerbated here. Rocky keeps pounding away but gets caught in a spinebuster by the original Ezekiel Jackson. They both hit shoulder blocks at the same time and go down as the fans boo. Back up and Ahmed easily hits the Pearl River Plunge (tiger driver) for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but I was always a fan of Johnson’s. The guy was a monster who was allegedly going to win the WWF Title but he couldn’t stay healthy. Granted with him not around things wound up going pretty well with the whole Border War thing so it’s hard to complain much. Rocky would get a lot better as I’m sure you guessed.

Here’s Austin and the place ERUPTS. He’s up in the crowd and promises to beat someone up tonight. That’s it. It didn’t take twenty minutes. He didn’t have to cut some big promo. It took a minute and we know that he’s going to go after someone. LEARN THIS WWE!

We get a stupid commercial for a lazer tag thing with Sable on a secret mission or something.

Floyd Patterson is here. Look him up rookies.

We recap Shawn winning the European Title from Bulldog at One Night Only in England, which was pretty much Shawn pulling a political move and taking the title which he didn’t need from Bulldog because he could and wanted to stick it to the Hart Family.

Speaking of Shawn, his next major match is inside something called Hell In A Cell. Here’s his opponent for that: the Undertaker. This was an awesome and perfectly done feud as Shawn was guest referee back at Summerslam and accidentally hit Taker in the head with a chair, costing him the world title to Bret. Taker wanted revenge but Shawn kept running. The solution? Lock them inside Hell. Vince conducts the interview and says the winner of the match gets Bret at Survivor Series.

Taker says that he can never rest in peace, which is bad for Shawn. He’ll enjoy watching Shawn burn though. Cue Shawn who says that he thinks the WWF is trying to give Shawn the shaft. He talks about being put in a no win situation again and that’s not cool with Shawn. He’s won every title there is in the company, and therefore he doesn’t lay down for anyone. Michaels is going to be ready and all Taker has to do is show up.

Sunny comes out to be ring announcer.

Legion of Doom vs. Farrooq/Kama Mustafa

During the LOD’s entrance, we get what can only be described as a bizarre scene from FOX News Now with the LOD in full gear doing a weather forecast. Animal and Kama start things off and trade power moves until Animal hits a powerslam to take over. Off to Hawk vs. Farrooq and it’s more trading of the power moves. Back to Kama so Hawk can hit his jumping fist drop. Everything breaks down and the LOD both hit clotheslines on Farrooq in the corner. They load up the Doomsday Device but the rest of the Nation runs in for the DQ.

Johnson tries to make the save but the Nation is too big so the referees have to break it up.

We get a classic moment of Snuka’s cage dive.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Owen Hart vs. Brian Pillman

Owen has a restraining order against Austin so he comes out with a big group of security guards. Pillman has possession of Terri here and has her all sexed up. In this case, that’s a GOOD thing. Her as a reluctant woman here is a good look for her and the story was supposed to be that Terri was going to leave Dustin for Pillman, but Pillman would be dead in 13 days. Pillman claims to have broken his arm while changing positions with Marlena (Terri) last night so he has to forfeit.

Slaughter comes out and says he knows nothing about a broken arm and hasn’t seen an x-ray or heard anything from a doctor. He throws the mic to Pillman and Brian catches it with the arm in a sling, so the match is on. Both guys keep over dramatically breaking in the corner and going at about 1/3 of their usual speed as we take a break. During the break, Marlena apparently hit Owen with her purse and things got a bit more intense. Pillman gets two off a clothesline and they collide when both try cross bodies….and here’s Goldust for the DQ. Too short to rate but Goldust hit Owen so he’s in the finals.

Post match Austin charges in and attacks Owen. Vince says don’t arrest Austin and gets in the ring to yell. Vince tells Austin that people care about him and that he needs to go with it. Austin gets the mic and cuts a pretty famous promo, saying that he’s the best in the world and there’s nothing Vince can do about it. Vince has told Austin to work within the system, but Austin wants nothing to do with the system and for the first time ever, Austin hits the Stunner on Vince, launching perhaps the greatest feud in company history.

Bulldog Bob Brower, a legendary wrestler in Kansas City, died over the weekend.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Dude Love

This is falls count anywhere, which means hardcore for all intents and purposes. HHH wraps a chain around his hand but Dude pops up on the monitor. Love says that the pinfalls in the hot dog stands aren’t his thing, but he knows someone that does dig them, and he brings in Mankind to talk to him. Mankind says he isn’t up for this, so here’s Cactus Jack. They’re all on the same screen at the same time talking to each other, which is some awesome trick photography. The end result is this.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Cactus Jack

MSG, in a word, explodes as this is the first time ever that Cactus has been in the WWF. The ECW chant starts and Cactus hits HHH with a trashcan and a swinging neckbreaker on the concrete for two. Cactus pounds away some more but Chyna hits him in the back and clotheslines him into the crowd. HHH and Cactus brawl into the back and the camera follows them through the curtain. Notice how much more realistic this makes things, as there’s no camera waiting there for them.

HHH rams Cactus into a wall for two and heads back into the arena, but Cactus pulls out a fire extinguisher and blasts HHH into the barricade. The railing is broken down and they head into the ring only to send HHH over the corner and back out to the floor. Cactus tries the elbow off the apron but hits the trashcan from the beginning. Chyna sends him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with HHH beating Jack with a mop and snapping his neck over the ropes to send Jack to the floor. They both head to the apron and Cactus kicks HHH low to send him to the floor. There’s Cactus’ old running sunset flip off the apron for two. Chyna hits Cactus with a chair and gets glared at, but HHH shoves Cactus into Chyna (not knowing she’s there), crushing Chyna against the steps.

The guys fight up the ramp and HHH hits a suplex on the steel for two. HHH finds another trashcan to blast Jack in the head with and there’s a snow shovel for more shots to Jack’s back. The fans want a table but they get HHH slamming Cactus’ head off the steel instead. NOW we get a table, but it’s more like a slab of wood on legs. It’s bending as they get on it and a low blow breaks up the Pedigree. Cactus hits the pulling piledriver through the table and pins HHH to a BIG pop.

Rating: A. This is the match that basically introduced the WWF to hardcore wrestling and the relationship worked well for the next….oh five years or so, with these kind of matches almost always being around in one form or another. On top of that, it was AWESOME with Cactus going insane and HHH channeling the inner evil that would define his character for years to come. This would also be blown away by the same match in the same building in January of 2000. Also note that JR sold this like a war was going on, which you never get anymore.

Video on some sweepstakes.

Andre the Giant slammed Big John Studd at the first Wrestlemania.

We look at the Stunner again. I know it looks bad, but that makes it better as Vince shouldn’t know how to take a move because he’s an announcer/owner.

More stills from One Night Only with Shawn beating Bulldog.

Here’s Shawn with the chair that started everything with Undertaker. Shawn says he’s going to tell us a story about how he became the first and only Grand Slam Champion. Oh cool I love stories about backstage politics. That has to wait though because Shawn wants Undertaker out here right now first. We take a break and come back with no Taker. Taker finally comes out and is immediately blasted from behind by HHH, allowing Shawn to hit Taker with the chair again. Rude joins in and it’s a big beatdown along with Chyna. Taker shrugs it off and chases them off with the chair. The Cell sounds good right about now.

Bret Hart vs. Goldust

Non-title even though Bret is WWF Champion. Before the match, Bret says he doesn’t care who wins in the Cell because he’s not afraid of Taker and he wants to get his hands on Shawn. Goldust is all ticked off because of Pillman and pounds Bret into the corner to start. A clothesline gets two for Goldie but Bret grabs the arm and kicks at Goldust’s leg. Goldust comes back with a rake to the eyes and a slap to the face, but Bret takes the leg out again and goes to work on it as only he can. Or Ric Flair too but this is New York so most people don’t care.

Bret flips off a fan and bends Goldust’s leg around the rope. He snaps the leg over and puts the Figure Four on around the post. Referee: “LET HIM GO!” Bret: “WHY?” Shawn pops up on the ramp and we take a break. Back with Bret working over the leg even more with some punches to the knee. Goldust comes back with a suplex as Shawn is conducting the crowds’ chants about Bret.

They slug it out (Bret and Goldust, not Shawn and the fans) but Bret goes right back to the leg and cannonballs down onto it. Goldie kicks Bret over the top and we head to the floor for more brawling. Bret gets sent into the steps and back inside the bulldog gets two, but Goldust charges into a knee in the corner. The Sharpshooter ends this quick.

Rating: C+. This was one of those matches where you knew who was going to win all along, but they at least had some energy out there. This was around the last time that Bret would ever be motivated in his career, as once he hit WCW it was clear that he didn’t care anymore at all. Goldust was in over his head here but didn’t do badly at all.

Shawn immediately charges the ring and the brawl is on. HHH and Chyna come in for the beatdown but Owen and a limping bulldog come out as well. Rude and Neidhart come out and cancel each other out, but heeeeeeeere’s Taker. House is cleaned and Taker chokeslams Shawn and Bret at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Not only did we get a great and famous match, not only did we get a famous moment, but I want to go watch Bad Blood now. AWESOME show as the WWF is starting to click again after coming off the awesome Border War (seriously, check that thing out. It’s AMAZING) and WCW is starting to slip a bit as everything is building to Starrcade, but they’re sputtering along the way. Great show here and one of the best episodes of Raw ever.

 

 

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On This Day: September 22, 2008 – Monday Night Raw: Another Anniversary Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

 

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On This Day: September 21, 1995 – AWF Warriors of Wrestling (Debut Episode): What Else Is On?

AWF Warriors of Wrestling
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Studio City, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mick Karch, Terry Taylor

Now here’s one I’d bet that most of you have never heard of. This is from the mid-90s and it’s an attempt at making a third national promotion. Their big stars: Bob Orton, Tito Santana, Greg Valentine. The twist is that it’s based on European rules, meaning there non-title matches consist of three four minute rounds. Title matches are twelve four minute rounds. That’s quite a jump isn’t it? There’s a judging aspect too if the time runs out. Anyway, this show was basically a compilation of shows taped the previous year. There are 18 episodes in total and I plan on doing a total of this one only. Let’s get to it.

Sgt. Slaughter opens us up and says we should choose the AWF.

The opening video features guys like Koko B. Ware and the Warlord, plus A LOT of Slaughter. Oh geez Nailz is here.

They have red white and blue ropes ala the old WWF.

Tony Atlas is on the show too. Oh what have I gotten myself into?

Tito Santana vs. Ultimate Destroyer

Destroyer is an average sized guy in a silver mask with a white t-shirt under a gray striped singlet. I’d hate to see the standard model Destroyer. Actually scratch that as the Destroyer was awesome. Tito comes out to generic rock music. The production values aren’t awful but they’re nothing great. Terry runs down the rules, but with the following exchange beforehand. Mick: “Tell us about the rules in case we’re not clear here Terry.” Terry: “I’d be glad to Mick and I’ll do it like turtle soup: I’ll make it snappy.” This show is 45 minutes long not counting commercials and I’m about to cry after 3.

A few more rules: touching the referee or throwing your opponent over the top is an automatic DQ. Also the referee has final judgment. The rules are simple enough. Destroyer takes him to the mat but Tito sits out and it’s a standoff. Tito takes him to the mat now and we get a rope break. Destroyer breaks out with an elbow to the face but Tito hooks an armdrag (called an aerial wingover by Terry for some reason) and an armbar.

Destroyer pops out with a headbut but walks into an atomic drop which sends Destroyer over the top. That’s not a DQ though because it wasn’t intentional. I’m having WCW flashbacks now. This isn’t helping my issues with the match so far. Tito works on another armbar but Destroyer sends him into the buckle and misses a splash. Tito dropkicks him down and that’s the end of round 1.

We stop for a minute between rounds and Destroyer wants more time. That’s about the extent of his heel tactics so far. Oh wait he rakes Tito’s eyes. That’s the ticket! Tito comes back but gets draped over the top rope. That gets Destroyer nowhere and Tito slams him a few times. Flying Burrito (forearm) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really bad choice for the opener. Flash back with me to 1987 and the first Survivor Series. The first match ever in the history of the Survivor Series was Team Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk and the final score before the end was 5-3. In that match we saw regular pins, a double countout, and a 3-1 beating. In other words, we got a great taste of what could happen with this concept. This match here on the TV show basically showed us that Tito could beat up Ultimate Destroyer, stop for a minute, then beat him up some more. Horrible choice for an opener.

Tito says this is about wrestling. He shakes his head a lot for some reason during the promo.

Billy Joe Eaton vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine has a manager named Rico Suave who is fat and mostly bald. Terry is the heel commentator I think. Billy works on the arm a bit but gets clotheslined down. Valentine works on the ribs a bit and Chris Adams pops up saying he’s in the AWF too. Eaton gets some shoulders into the ribs in the corner but Valentine takes him back down with ease. Elbow drop and Figure Four end the squash.

Sonny Rodgers vs. Tony Atlas

Rodgers jumps on Atlas to start and hits a double ax off the middle rope to put Atlas down. A few shots to the head put Atlas in trouble but Rodgers bounces off of him. Rodgers gets knocked to the floor and this show needs to end. Now. Put on a Matlock rerun or something, but get this show off the air. Sonny pokes him in the eye and dropkicks Atlas down for two with a power kickout.

Atlas Hulks Up (allegedly that was his push to have if not for Hogan) and destroys Sonny for a bit before hooking the bearhug…and the round runs out a big later. You know, BECAUSE WE NEED THIS TO CONTINUE! Johnny Gunn pops up to say that he’s here too and debuts next week. He’s Tom Brandi if you remember him. Gorilla press and splash finally end this.

Rating: D-. So far the only thing I can tell that the rounds add is making these boring matches last about a minute longer. There was nothing here for the most part with neither guy being interesting at all. The announcers were ripping on Sonny for poking eyes too much. This was really dull, much like the rest of this show.

The president of the company (and legit owner) explains the rules (apparently you have until TEN to break something. Either that or he misspoke) again. He promises touring is coming.

Rick Thunder vs. Nails

Oh geez it’s this guy. They even changed his name to the regular spelling. The idea here is that Nails doesn’t follow rules, making him probably the top heel in the company. He chokes Thunder in the corner a lot and we head to the floor. Nails throws a stool at Thunder and hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. This is the first character development and we’re about 80% done with the show.

Nails chokes him over the top rope post match.

Oliver Humperdink says that his tag team, Killer and Psycho, the Texas Hangmen (WHOA! They were featured on the show I did JUST before this. That’s weird) are here and awesome.

Ken McGuire vs. Sgt. Slaughter

McGuire is in pink trunks so you know he’s evil. Sheik Adnan Al-Kahassie is coming with someone to take out Slaughter. Sarge shrugs off a brief attack, hits the Slaughter Cannon and hooks the Cobra clutch for the quick win.

Slaughter says exactly what you would expect him to say.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bobby Bradley

Koko is in the High Energy attire and the fans chant Whomp There It Is. Koko shoves him down and dances a bit. He dropkicks Bradley down but Bradley comes back with very basic heel offense. Off to a chinlock for awhile but Koko comes back with a sleeper. Bradley escapes but the clock runs out in round 1 anyway. He jumps Koko between rounds and we hear from Mr. Hughes who says he’ll debut next week. Koko’s cross body misses and Bradley gets two. Ware goes up and hits an AWFUL looking missile dropkick for a close two. Ghostbuster gets the pin.

Rating: F. Koko looked old and fat here which is the exact opposite of what you’re looking for in a guy like him. Thankfully this show is almost over, because I don’t think I could take any more of this. The round system didn’t do anything here either as Bradley was out of the hold before the bell rang, so it didn’t mean anything.

Suave says he’s going to bring two more people here to take over. Valentine says he’s awesome and we’re done, thank goodness.

Overall Rating: F. I would usually try to come up with some catchy name or word for this, but this show was so boring that it drained the thinking out of me. The round system may sound interesting, but the problem is it doesn’t add or change anything. The matches are comprised of old guys that you knew at one point, but who now just look their age.

Also, most of these matches aren’t any good. The round idea just makes them last a minute longer which doesn’t make them interesting. The biggest problem though is the roster, as this is during the days of Nitro with a roster that would have been old in 1989. Nothing to see here and stay FAR away from this.

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TNA Weekly PPV #16: IT DOESN’T MATTER!

TNA Weekly PPV #16
Date: October 9, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Things are starting to pick up around here and we have a new story with the guy in white attacking Killings. If my memory is correct, that will start a story that lasts for months to come. Other than that tonight we have Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles for the X Title in a ladder match for the second time in two weeks. Also if we’re lucky, we might get more Brian Lawler! Oh and Chris Rock is here for some reason. Let’s get to it.

West and Tenay hype up the show.

We look at the man in white attacking Killings last week.

It’s supposed to be time for the opening match but here’s Ron Killings instead. Truth does some basic “your sports teams suck” stuff so the fans tell him he’s overrated. He says the man in white is the mystery partner in a six man tag later tonight and that’s not cool with the champ. Don West of all people cuts him off, saying that Truth isn’t telling the truth. It was ok when Killings came in last week to jump BG and Syxx-Pac but it’s not cool when someone jumps Killings?

We get a clip from the end of last week’s show and Killings says West just screwed up. Compared to him, West is just a pebble on the beach so Truth wants Syxx-Pac, James or the man in white. Cue James and Syxx-Pac with the former talking about drinking Coronas and how we don’t live in a perfect world.

Curt Hennig walks out, apparently the mystery partner for later tonight. Hennig says he doesn’t like the Truth and Pac says they’re going to do to Truth what his mama should have done years ago. The three come to the ring and here are Jarrett and Lawler for the big brawl. Our heroes clean house and the heels retreat. BG wants the match right now so here’s a referee.

Curt Hennig/BG James/Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler/Ron Killings

BG and Jarrett get things going but Curt gets the tag before there’s any contact. Mike is immediately running through Curt’s career resume which is one of his trademarks anymore. No contact until about a minute in when Curt hits a single right hand to knock Jeff into the corner. Hennig runs Jeff over and chops Jarrett’s partners down for fun. Back in and Jeff fires off right hands of his own followed by a Hennig neck snap to Hennig, earning him a right hand for gimmick infringement.

Jeff is sent to the floor again as Lawler is freaking out. Back in and it’s Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac with Brian missing a cross body but coming back with a powerslam. Off to the world champion who gets punched in the face by BG but nips back up, only to walk into the big right hand to put Truth back down. Back up and Truth does the splits to avoid a clothesline and hits the ax kick for two. Jarrett comes back in but misses his running crotch attack on the ropes, only to have Truth come back in to keep control.

Lawler gets the tag and drops BG with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Jarrett again. Jeff walks into a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Syxx-Pac. Kicks abound but the Bronco Buster hits a boot between the legs as Pac plays some Ricky Morton. Truth powerslams him down and it’s back to Jarrett with a suplex for two. Really basic stuff at the moment and it’s not exactly thrilling. Back to Lawler for a chinlock but Pac fights up with something resembling a Sky High.

The real hot tag (minus the heat) brings in Hennig and house is cleaned. BG chases Jarrett up the ramp with a chair as Lawler hits Hennig low to put him down. A guillotine legdrop gets two as Pac makes the save and gets two of his own on Truth with the X-Factor. Lawler takes out the referee and here’s the man in white, now with Mr. Wrestling III written on the back of his jacket to powerbomb Truth down. The PerfectPlex is enough to pin Truth.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t the worst match in the world and it definitely picked up near the end, but this was a bad sign for the main event picture. At the end of the day, these guys aren’t moving well at all and the matches range from passable at best to boring and sluggish at worst. This wasn’t horrible but at nearly fifteen minutes it went on WAY too long.

BG James is out cold in the back with a pipe next to him.

We look back at the X-Division Title match last week with Jerry Lynn getting “cheated” out of the title, only to have it handed back to him in a decision that screwed over the heel.

Here’s X Champion Jerry Lynn with something to say. He challenges Sonny Siaki, the man that cost him the title last week, to a match on the next show. Cue Sonny who says let’s do it right now. Jerry charges up the ramp but gets thrown off the stage, getting his leg caught in the barricade. Tenay talks about Jerry’s history of knee injuries and we hear Lynn say “not again.” We do the stretcher job as this eats up a few minutes.

Syxx-Pac apologizes to Low Ki over insulting him last week. Low Ki is about to respond but AJ Styles comes in to say that he’s beaten Low Ki four times so he should be Syxx-Pac’s favorite wrestler. AJ leaves and Low Ki and Syxx-Pac agree that Styles is a jerk.

Tag Titles: Spanish Announce Team vs. America’s Most Wanted

Storm starts with Jose and they flip around a bit until James hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. Jose comes back with a dropkick to the knee and something resembling an inverted figure four, only to have Storm grab a nearby rope. Storm comes back with a hurricanrana but Joel comes in with a missile dropkick, only to be speared down by Harris. Jose goes up but gets shoved down onto Joel onto the floor. Harris follows up the shove with a BIG plancha to take both Maximos (the SAT if that wasn’t clear) out.

Back in and AMW double teams Jose, only to have Joel crotch Storm to break up something off the top. A moonsault/neckbreaker combo (think the Motor City Machine Guns’ Skull and Bones but with a moonsault) gets two on Storm but James comes back with a freaky spin into a Downward Spiral for two. Off to Harris for a big tilt-a-whirl powerslam, good for two on Jose. Things settle down a bit and Jose gets two of his own off a tornado DDT.

Joel powerslams Harris and everything breaks down with a moonsault getting two on Storm. James comes back with a big old superkick for a delayed two but a Maximos double team takes the Cowboy down. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Joel but he dives into the Catatonic, only to have Jose break up the pin. The SAT loads up the Spanish Fly but Storm makes the save, setting up an overly complicated double powerbomb into a whip Rock Bottom for the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. This got a bit too sloppy at the end but I’ll take whatever I can get for tag team wrestling int his company at the moment. As has been the case for weeks now, AMW is the only good team around and they’re just looking for some decent opponents. The Maximos aren’t great but they’re better than anyone else AMW has gotten to face so far as champions.

Here’s Chris Rock for the first big celebrity appearance for the company. He says TNA is the best wrestling in the world and invites anyone to come prove it’s not fake….and that’s it. Literally he was in the ring for 30 seconds.

Kid Kash vs. Ace Steel vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke

This is a 15 minute iron man match for no reason whatsoever. Steel is most famous for training CM Punk and Colt Cabana and comes out to what would become Abyss’ music. During the entrances, we see a sign saying Totally Nuke Al-Qaeda for what has to be the tenth time tonight, but it’s been in various different places. It’s either a group of fans or a plant by the company for whatever reason. Mortimer Plumtree comes out to do commentary.

We start with the usual multi-man spots where it’s so clear they’re working together that it takes away almost all of the illusion from the match. Low Ki pounds on Kash in the corner as the other two fight in the middle of the ring. The pairings trade off as armdrags abound, setting up a standoff. Mamaluke dropkicks down Low Ki and Steel followed by a double abdominal stretch, only to have Kash springboard in to break it up.

Kash snaps off some hurricanranas before nearly breaking Steel’s neck on a third. Low Ki and Steel head to the floor where Kash hits a huge dive to take both guys out. Naturally Mamaluke dives onto the three of them, putting everyone down on the floor. In a stupid looking move, Kash and Low Ki get up on opposite sides of the apron and springboard at each other for a double clothesline. Steel and Mamaluke come in with legdrops for a double pin, giving them a fall each.

The fans are behind Low Ki as Ace pounds him in the corner as the match slows way down. We have under eight minutes to go as Kash hits a fisherman’s buster on Mamaluke for a pin, leaving Low Ki as the only person with no pins. Mamaluke and Kash head to the floor as Low Ki’s springboard is almost caught in a fireman’s carry, only to roll down into an armbar for a submission for Low Ki, giving us a fourway http://buysoma.net tie. I guess we’re supposed to assume Mike meant pins and submissions when he said you could only win by pin.

Kash slams Mamaluke off the announce table, bouncing him off his head. Low Ki hurts his ankle on a springboard so Steel spins his leg around to work on the leg even more. Five minutes left now as Tony and Kash fight on the floor. Low Ki gets a rollup for two on Steel with 4:20 to go. A Kash powerbomb gets two on Tony with four minutes even left. Everyone knocks everyone else down for the next minute. Steel breaks up a Kash Boston crab and we have two minutes left.

Everyone is moving slowly now so this isn’t exactly thrilling. Kash and Ki chop it out on the floor but head back in with 1:00 left. Steel hits a running corner dropkick on Ki with 30 seconds to go. Mamaluke hooks a Russian legsweep off the apron and into the barricade to take out Kash. We’ve got 15 seconds left as Ki hooks his leg choke on the ropes followed by the spinning springboard enziguri, but Steel falls into the ropes. Ki pulls him back into the ring with two seconds left. Ki grabs a rollup but Plumtree trips him up to give Steel a pin, even though the bell ring before the referee was even on the mat.

Rating: D. Matches like these are the kind of indy nonsense that gets on people’s nerves. I have zero idea what the point was in making this an iron man match other than it sounded good on paper. Surviving a fifteen minute match doesn’t prove you’re tough as anyone should be able to last that long. There was no flow, no story, and a botched ending on top of that. Terribly booked match, but I’m sure I just don’t get REAL wrestling, right?

Here’s NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler because there’s a TNA car in the minor league race. He tries to get us to care about a race but here’s Miss TNA Bruce to interrupt. Bruce makes jokes about Hermie driving a car and demands that he pick a career already. This brings out Jeff Jarrett to insult Sadler and demand a bigger name to drive the TNA car. Sadler makes fun of Jeff for not having any titles but says he respects Ron Killings. He asks if Bruce is a man or a woman and a brawl is on, drawing in Jarrett and BG James for the save. Horribly stupid segment and no one cares about Sadler.

Ron Harris/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Michaels/Rick Michaels

GET DIFFERENT LAST NAMES ALREADY! This is a #1 contender match between two teams that haven’t teamed together in the company before. Harris and Siaki jump the Michaels to start and take it to the floor. We start with Rick vs. Siaki as Tenay tries to get us to care about Rick’s accomplishments in the indys. Off to Chris vs. Ron with Harris pounding away in the corner. We’re definitely in squash territory here. Chris gets in some armdrags to bring in Rick, only to be thrown down by Ron.

Back to Siaki as this slow destruction continues. Rick comes back with a quick neckbreaker before it’s back to Chris, only to have Harris send him into the barricade. Siaki pounds on Chris a bit more inside but Rick gets the ice cold tag to clean a bit of the house. Sonny hits something resembling a Samoan drop on Chris but Harris breaks up the pin. He tells Siaki to hold Michaels up, only to kick Sonny in the face by mistake, giving Chris the fluke pin.

Rating: F. We just sat through seven and a half minutes for a screwy ending with one team we’ve never seen before beating another team we’ve never seen before. West tries to call this the biggest upset ever in TNA, but it makes the winners 1-0 and the losers 0-1. How is that an upset? On top of that, we’re now in week three of an angle for RON HARRIS. Was there NO ONE ELSE on the roster that could have done this story???

Post match Ron and Sonny slug it out until Don Harris makes the save and beats up Sonny. Just get to the Harris Brother reunion so no one can care again.

Bill Behrens comes out to say that Jerry Lynn can’t wrestle, so the title is vacated. However, due to legal requirements, there will be a title match so it’s Ace Steel vs. AJ Styles for the title in a ladder match instead. Jerry will get a title match with rules of his choosing upon returning. Low Ki comes out to cry foul on the Plumtree interference.

Plumtree and Steel come out to insult Ki and dear goodness I do not care. Plumtree mentions Low Ki trying to beat up Tammy Sytch, which is a reference to a recent indy show that maybe .3% of the audience will have heard of. Ki calls Plumtree a nerd and here’s southern hick Bob Armstrong because there aren’t enough freaking people in this segment. Armstrong makes Ace and Ki for the spot in the title match.

Low Ki vs. Ace Steel

Steel goes right for Ki’s knee like anyone would as this looks more like a UFC fight than a wrestling match. Note that I didn’t say a good UFC fight but a UFC fight nonetheless. Plumtree gets in a chair shot to the bad leg behind the referee’s back to send him to the floor. Armstrong and Behrens say the match is over and Ki wins by DQ.

Armstrong says the X-Division has been a mess since the beginning (not really but thanks for burying the most popular thing you have) so anyone in the X-Division can come out here and be in the ladder match for the title. Well why in the world not.

X-Division Title: Ace Steel vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke

The Maximos pull out ladders as AJ suplexes Mamaluke. Everyone goes to the floor for a big springboard shooting star from Styles. Back in and AJ hits the moonsault into the inverted DDT on Joel before taking Jose down as well. There’s a brainbuster to Kash before AJ sends Steel into the barricade. The ladders are finally brought into the ring but Jose dropkicks Mamaluke off the ladder for the save.

Everyone is hit with or sent into a ladder until it’s down to Steel hanging AJ in a tree of woe on a ladder for a baseball slide. Kash rides a ladder down onto AJ as the Maximos are back inside. There’s no flow or anything to this so expect a bunch of random spots for the rest of the match. Joel gets crushed between two ladders in the corner and Styles gets suplexed down by Mamaluke. Kash superplexes Steel down and goes up the ladder, only to be shoved down with ease.

After more brawling, Kash knocks Tony off the ladder but tries a moonsault onto Steel and Jose instead of grabbing the title. Well he never all that bright. AJ rams his shoulder into the ladder to knock it to the floor but completely misses the Maximos he was aiming at. Tony is holding his arm and is likely injured. Styles and Kash both set up ladders and go up, only to be joined by the Maximos.

The Spanish Fly is blocked by Kash so he “hits” a “tornado DDT” on Jose, meaning he grabbed him and kind of fell backwards, driving the top of Jose’s head into the mat. Mamaluke goes up and the ladders collapse before Kash can powerbomb him down. AJ goes up and gets shoved right into the referee who wasn’t needed anyway. Kash dives off the top onto Joel for no apparent reason as Jose and Styles fight on the ladder. AJ rides the ladder down onto Jose who was crushed under both AJ and the ladder.

Kash dropkicks the ladder to take out Mamaluke and Steel, putting everybody down. Joel goes up with Kash and hits a C4 off the ladder followed by a sunset bomb from Styles to Ace, leaving Tony on top. Tony can’t quite hit a tornado DDT on Styles as this mess needs to end. Steel and Joel are fighting on the floor and AJ tosses Mamaluke out to join him. Styles superplexes Kash down and goes up, but here’s freaking Syxx-Pac to suplex him down, climb up and take the title.

Rating: C-. It doesn’t matter. That’s the title of this entire show: it doesn’t matter. These six guys were all working hard, but the match was such a mess and WAY too dangerous to make it work. On top of that, it doesn’t matter though because Syxx-Pac gets to come in and win the title in 30 seconds. That’s what WWE would do with Hornswoggle and it was just as stupid. Horrible way to end things here.

Next week, you guessed it: LADDER MATCH!

Overall Rating: D-. Again, IT DOESN’T MATTER. That iron man match? Didn’t matter. The six guys killing themselves for fifteen minutes? Didn’t matter. The Michaels guys winning? Didn’t matter, as the focus is still on Ron Harris. This was like the brainchild of one of those fans on the internet that drives you crazy and has no idea how wrestling actually works. We had meaningless gimmicks added to matches, stories being ignored for the sake of throwing everyone into one match, and a big SWERVE at the end because why not. This was awful with very little to remember at all. Horrid show.

 

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On This Day: September 20, 1997 – Shotgun Saturday Night: The Saviors Of Tag Team Wrestling

Shotgun Saturday Night
Date: September 20, 1997
Location: Worthen Arena, Muncie, Indiana
Attendance: 3,329
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Cornette

This is another show that I haven’t touched on as much as I should. Shotgun Saturday Night was a show that did a lot to set up the Attitude Era but by this point the era was almost ready to go. We’re getting close to Badd Blood In Your House, meaning it’s all about Shawn vs. Undertaker at this point. Let’s get to it.

The whole show is spent talking about the first MSG Raw which really was a huge deal. Link provided at the bottom.

This is also after the unique parts of the show have been eliminated, making it just another syndicated style show.

Owen Hart vs. Flash Funk

Owen has cops with him to keep Austin away. They trade near falls off simple leg trips before Funk takes over on the arm. Owen spins out to take Flash’s arm but Funk cartwheels away from a monkey flip. A clothesline gets two for Hart and it’s off to a chinlock. After over a minute in the hold it’s a spinwheel kick for two and we take an early break.

Back with Flash getting two off a spinning high cross body. Owen gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Flash blocks a piledriver with a kick to the head. Flash drapes the Canadian flag over Owen and gets two off a middle rope flip legdrop but Owen hits the piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but at the end of the day it was a five minute match with a minute spent in a chinlock. Still though, Funk is an old favorite of mine and Owen was on fire at this point due to the Hart Foundation story. Then again that would be completely derailed in about two months but we’ll get to that later.

We recap Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter announcing an Intercontinental Title tournament for the vacant title due to Austin’s injuries. We also get a look at the first round matches so far.

Ahmed Johnson is ready for a shot at The Rock in the last first round match.

Vader vs. The Sultan

Sultan is Rikishi as a Middle Eastern masked man. Vader pounds away to start and knocks Sultan down in the corner. A middle rope clothesline drops Sultan as well and there’s a second one for good measure. Sultan comes back with a superkick and some ripping at the nose before clotheslining Vader to the floor. Vader pummels him back but gets sent into the steps. Back in and a huge clothesline sets up the Vader Bomb to pin Sultan.

Rating: C-. Much more fun than you would expect here with both guys showing off their power and agility. Rikishi is a great example of a guy where you just had to find the right gimmick. He went from the Samoan to the Sultan to the dancer and that’s what it took all along. It’s a matter of trying until you get the right combination.

Phineas Godwinn is looking forward to Being in MSG.

We get the Austin interview from Raw with Jerry Lawler laughing about Austin Stunning JR and Slaughter recently. Lawler wants to see it happen to Vince but Austin wants to talk about JR some more. JR was in the wrong place at the wrong time so just mind your business and no more Stunners.

Austin threatens Vince to Jerry’s delight before saying he can take out Owen Hart anytime he likes. This brings out the Hart Foundation with Bret saying they’re sick of Austin using weapons all the time, so here’s a guy in a suit coming to Austin. It’s a lawyer carrying a restraining order which keeps Austin from Owen. Lawler talks too much about what just happens and earns a Stunner.

Austin reads a fan letter and promises to go nuts in MSG this Monday.

Dude Love says he’s home again here in New York and wants to be a role model. He’s ready to fly in MSG like Jimmy Snuka did and be a hep cat you see.

Los Boricuas vs. Rockabilly/Jesse James

It’s Jose and Jesus for Los Boricuas in case you care for some reason. Los Boricuas get jumped from behind with Jesus being elbowed in the face to give Billy control. Jesus comes back with an armdrag, only to be clotheslined down for no cover. James comes in for an elbow drop but Billy misses a Stinger Splash. A hot tag to Jose has no heat at all and everything breaks down. Billy and Jesus fall to the floor and Billy cracks Jose over the head with a guitar for the pin. Jesse and Billy would feud a bit longer before calling themselves the New Age Outlaws. This was their first match as a team though.

The other Boricuas come in to beat down Billy and James post match.

Shawn vs. Undertaker vs. Bret in a triple threat for the title is announced for Monday. You would have heard of that match if it ever happened, meaning it never occurred.

El Pantera vs. Super Loco

Super Loco is Super Crazy of course and the flips begin very quickly. Crazy flips Pantera over but misses an elbow drop. Pantera hooks a surfboard but has to let it go to avoid getting pinned. A slow motion Sin Cara style armdrag takes Crazy down and Pantera sends him to the floor for a dropkick and a suicide dive. Back in and Crazy crotches him on the ropes for a spinwheel kick to the back of the head and a dropkick to send Pantera to the floor.

Crazy hits a BIG dive to take both guys down but Pantera scores with a pair of armdrags back inside. Crazy is sent chest first to the floor ala Rey Mysterio and Pantera takes him down again with a great looking moonsault press. Pantera grabs a quick hurricanrana before crawling up Crazy’s body into a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: C+. Take two guys and let them fly all over the place to pop the crowd for about seven minutes. It’s a formula as old as any other and it works perfectly well every time. There’s no story to these matches but that’s the point: it’s a spot fest but it’s rather entertaining if you don’t rely on them too much.

We look at Brian Pillman’s XXX Files. He brags about advancing in the Intercontinental Title tournament due to accidental interference from Goldust. Soon enough Pillman will be a champion but he stops to make some sexual noises. The idea is he has Goldust’s wife Marlena for 30 days and is forcing her into various actions with the eventual plan of Marlena turning on Goldust. Here she’s rubbing his feet.

Godwinns vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

8-Ball grabs a headlock on Phineas to start before clotheslining him out to the floor. Cornette implies that the Godwinns are members of the KKK as it’s off to Henry to shove 8-Ball into the corner. 8-Ball comes back with a big boot for two before it’s off to Skull. Phineas low bridges Skull to the floor before Hank gets two. Back to Phineas for some choking but he misses a splash in the corner. Hot tag brings in 8-Ball and the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and Uncle Cletus (Zeb Colter) gives Henry a horseshoe to knock Skull out for the pin.

Rating: D-. Filler and nothing more. The tag division sucked at this point.

Post match the rest of the DOA comes out for the save, sending the Godwinns running to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it covered everything but the main event story, which is the most interesting part of the company at this point. Not that it matters though as this coming Raw was the beginning of the biggest feud of all time. Still though, nothing to see here, which is why it was a Saturday night show that almost no one watched.

Here’s Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/04/monday-night-raw-september-22-1997-one-of-the-best-and-most-historic-raws-of-all-time/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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On This Day: September 19, 1999 – Anarchy Rulz 1999: Goodbye Taz, Goodbye Sanity

Anarchy Rulz 1999
Date: September 19, 1999
Location: Odeum Expo Center, Villa Park, Illinois
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

And so it dies here. No not the company as they held onto life, if you want to call it that, for about another 16 months after this. Taz leaves here though, as WWF came with a huge sum of money about three weeks after ECW debuted on TNN. The Dudleys already left about two weeks earlier. Word has gotten out that Taz is leaving too, so don’t expect him to be incredibly over tonight. Other than that, there isn’t much on the card. Storm vs. Lynn should be fun though. Let’s get to it.

We see Masato Tanaka showing up. He’s the number one contender. I’m not sure but I think that was Dave Prazak doing the interview. Awesome’s manager shows up and doesn’t like Tanaka. He gets smacked.

Cyrus and Joey do the intro you would expect before we throw it to the theme song.

Lance Storm vs. Jerry Lynn

We start with this? Really? I guess part of anarchy is that we’re getting rid of the best match right off the bat for some reason. Dawn Marie’s dress is almost not even there. These are two of my favorites from ECW so I’ll be pleased with this more than likely. Jerry’s ribs are messed up because the Impact Players beat him up about a week before.

Lance Storm having his own personal chick is rather amusing. Crowd is pretty one sided to say the least. We have a nice technical piece to start. Did you expect anything else? The fans applaud which is always a good sign. ECW fans were fair if nothing else. I’ve always liked Joey’s mentioning of the referees. They work extremely hard and rarely get the credit that they deserve. Storm’s chops kind of suck.

There’s a bad delay right before it connects and it makes them look really weak. The fans get bored with the match and would like to see something from Dawn. Cyrus gets a nice line in by saying that Storm is a step ahead of Gene Kiniski who was billed as Canada’s Greatest Athlete: he’s CALGARY’S Greatest Athlete. That’s a great line and could be solid for a heel in a territorial promotion.

The referee yells at someone at ringside for a LONG time with his eyes totally away from the action. Nice one guys. Jerry hits a nice plancha from the top rope to the floor and down goes Storm. Having Cyrus as an analyst is a GREAT help. Joey is fun to listen to but there is simply too much to have one guy do. That’s not a knock on Styles. It’s too much for anyone. Having an analyst in there takes a ton of pressure off of Joey and it’s helping a lot.

Cradle piledriver is blocked. Again, can someone explain the difference to me? SWEET pinfall reversal sequence that goes on for nearly a minute straight. That’s VERY impressive and literally gets a standing ovation from the crowd. They go wide to show it and they well should. Amazing stuff as I knew it would be. Cyrus points out that he used to be a wrestler which is something that needs to be done more often.

TNA has been doing it more often lately as they point out that Taz used to be a wrestler. He’s been retired what, 9 years or so? A LOT of fans likely haven’t seen him wrestle. How long has it been for King? Point out to the fans that he actually has experience. Jerry is a former world champion as is Taz. Let the fans know that once in awhile. There’s a chair wedged in the corner that hasn’t been doing anything yet.

Lynn is thrown into the corner but slides to avoid the steel macguffin. He slams his ribs into the post though and Storm goes after it like a Hart-trained wrestler attempting to use basic psychology. Lynn hits a Stunner out of nowhere to get us back to even. I love when wrestlers just bust out random moves.

It makes no sense that so many guys only use their signature stuff. Use whatever comes to mind, at least in kayfabe terms. Storm hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a ¾ nelson of all things for the clean pin? That came out of NOWHERE. It’s fine to end it that way as it looked solid, but DANG was that random.

Rating: A-. I loved this and yes it’s biased. Even still though, this was very solid stuff. See what happens with simple psychology and good wrestling? It works very well indeed and you get a great match that I was way into. This worked and to be fair it’s probably because they’re two of my favorites in ECW.

Joey and Cyrus argue about “the office.”

Simon Diamond is here. He used to sleep with Dawn Marie so he’s awesome. He talks in the 3rd person but has none of Rock’s talent so there you go. He is looking for a partner and asks for Tom Marquez who graduated from the House of Hardcore. And that’s not good enough because Simon didn’t say it. There is no man here to fight Simon. And cue Jazz. Apparently he’s looking for a partner. Which is why he asked for someone to fight. Got it.

She’s a face at this point and is in no way shape or form a Chyna rip-off. Nope, not at all is she, the woman that looks tough and is overly muscular and fighting men a rip-off of Chyna. Not at all. Diamond runs his mouth off and yells at Marquez, the timekeeper tonight, to fight Jazz. Sure why not.

Jazz vs. Tom Marquez

Jazz gets beaten up for awhile and then hits a mat slam for a long two but a guy named Tony DeVito pulls the referee out. Yeah this wasn’t a match. 45 seconds at most.

Chris Chetti and Nova run out for the save and apparently THIS is a tag match now.

Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Tony DeVito/Simon Diamond

Apparently Nova is the most ripped off wrestler in the world as whatever he invents is on Monday night the next week. While that’s true to an extent, I’ll let it go and let Mr. Joey Pot and Cyrus Kettle, call this match. Wow that Jazz is BLACK. WOW that joke sucked. Anyway, you get the idea I think. DeVito goes for a Rock Bottom and botches the living tar out of it. And after about two minutes Danny Doring and Roadkill along with that redhead chick named Angelica run out for the DQ. Yes it’s Lita.

Rating: N/A. Two minutes of just boring stuff.

They hit Jazz with the Hart Attack. A ton of jobbers come out to stop Roadkill and it’s just a massive brawl. And now we get the point to all this: it’s New Jack. Oh why does he have to come back? I’m sure you know my thoughts on New Jack by now. One of the jobbers in there is the semi-famous Big Vito.

Staple gun to the head of some guy. And we do it again. Make it three times. I hate New Jack. I truly do. Nova and Chetti seem to like him though. Ok to be fair, the crowd is going nuts over this.

Tour ad.

Cyrus and Joey argue some more.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

During the entrances, Joey says he’s more or less high on laryngitis medications. Ok then. Tajiri is in his traditional look now. Crowd seems to favor Crazy the best. They point out the three distinct styles here which is a nice touch. Well this is better than another combination them going one on one again I guess. Oh and Big Sal is now the Big Salbowski. Give me a break.

Yes I get that it’s an intentional parody, but if this was the other way around, ECW would be FREAKING over WWF taking another idea from them. When ECW does it, it’s a parody though. Yeah that’s annoying. The chant of Where’s My Pizza starts up. WOW those get annoying. It’s your basic spotfest to start: stupid but fun. Guido hooks a camel clutch on Crazy and Tajiri kicks the tar out of him. They set for it again and Tajiri kicks the heck out of Guido. Nice one.

Tajiri hits a picture perfect moonsault to the floor to take out both guys. It was of the Asai breed in case you were curious. Guido hits a second rope Fameasser which looked good. Not sure why but it did. Crazy one ups Tajiri by hitting a top rope Asai moonsault and lands ON HIS FEET. That was awesome looking. In a SICK spot, Tajiri goes for a sunset flip on Crazy but it’s blocked. Tajiri pulls himself back up, spins crazy around and hooks the Tarantula.

Guido throws in a great double foot to the face. That was one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. Guido gets the Sicilian Crab at the same time Crazy gets a camel clutch. Tajiri was totally off the ground. Ton of sick spots in this match. That baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe is always great. Crazy follows that up with a moonsault to put Guido out.

It’s elimination rules in case you didn’t get that so we’re down to Tajiri and Crazy. The ten punch count being in Spanish is always a nice touch. The handspring elbow hits for Tajiri. We get a Super Loco chant. When they get creative like that I can live with them. Tajiri blocks the triple moonsault and just goes off on Crazy. A SICK brainbuster ends it.

Rating: B-. This is an odd match. The spots were great and I liked them a lot, but I just could not get into the match as a whole if that makes sense. I think it’s because this has been done so many times now that there’s just no real reason to care about this match. It was fun, but there’s just nothing of substance to it. Nice spot fest though.

We throw it to Steve Corino who says they were going to bring in the Insane Clown Posse to fight Raven and Dreamer tonight. And they’re not here. Corino was the manager apparently and brought them in. Instead Raven and Dreamer get Rhino and Corino. Ok then.

Billy Corgin is here.

They rant about WCW or something or other for awhile.

Justin Credible vs. Sabu

Does anyone else find it stupid that ECW says Sabu is genocidal? That’s just a bit of overkill. Sabu was banned for no apparent reason. Justin has a restraining order. Sacre bleu. What a waste of my time. Yes I quoted Smart Guy of all things. The referee says it’s a legal document, but there is no law tonight since Anarchy Rulz. Justin drills the announcer for saying it and the lights go out. Let’s get to it.

Apparently the Impact Players got him banned for being too violent. Fonzie gets a table for Sabu. Justin gets a Russian leg sweep on the ramp which looked good. I’d expect that’s the only wrestling move for awhile. Sabu goes through a table for some reason. Did anyone care about Credible? I don’t really think so. We get a vague Kliq reference which Justin was a part of in the back.

Sabu hits a big spot and Joey calls it indescribable just before he, say it with me, DESCRIBES IT. A bunch of overblown table spots follow. I don’t care either. So since Justin is having his head handed to him, I’m more or less counting down the time until the SHOCKING yes SHOCKING I SAY comeback that gives Justin the win. Cyrus finds Fonzie annoying. That’s very amusing. Justin is bleeding fairly badly.

A kendo stick shot gets two but Sabu has his foot on the ropes. Ok, so legally binding documents aren’t legal, but the ropes are. Got it. That’s Incredible gets two. Fonzie slides in a chair but it hits Sabu in the head. Nice one. BAD looking tombstone (That’s Incredible) on the chair ends it.

Rating: D-. The only word that came to my mind here was meh. I just totally did not care here for a few reasons. One, it’s Justin Credible. Two, you bring Sabu back to have him job? What sense does that make? The match was so sloppy and just bad. Didn’t like this at all, mainly due to the idiotic booking as Heyman continues to insist that Justin is some ring god.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying as all goodness. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Raven is hanging out by a swing and runs down the majority of the feud between him and Dreamer. The “It’s Tommy’s” line gets me every time. And no, I’m not running down that whole feud. The thing was excellent though. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at the moment. Raven says he let Dreamer beat him that night. This is the Raven that everyone loved and he was awesome. He quotes Keyser Soze. How awesome is that?

Gertner comes out to interrupt the announcer and the crowd pops. And here are Francine and Dreamer. Man in the Box is always awesome so I can’t complain. To get it over with, the Dudleys were leaving and Dreamer stood up to them. Raven ran in to be his partner and they won the tag titles. They hate each other though and Dreamer is hurt badly so Raven is making him wrestle until he’s crippled.

Simple in a way I guess. Dreamer says he won’t be cutting a babyface promo. And cue the babyface promo. He’s going to wrestle no matter what the doctors say. And here’s Corino so I’d bet we’re getting a tag title match. Ok never mind as it’s a singles match with Rhino. Pay no attention to the fact that they said there would be a tag title match later tonight with these three and Raven which is inevitable. Yeah I’m not even counting this as a match because Raven is just killing time before he gets here. They’re just wasting time and HERE’S Raven.

Tag Titles: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino/Rhino

Jack Victory, the sidekick of Corino and Rhino comes in to help and a double DDT ends this about 12 seconds after Raven gets there.

Rating: N/A. Can someone tell me when the match ended and when it started?

Mancow, some annoying DJ that had TWO WCW PPV matches comes out with some fat guys since we have a ton of time left. They do nothing other than high five Raven and leave. WOW.

Ad for November to Remember.

So with 35 minutes left in the tape there’s just RVD to go.

Axl Rotten comes out to talk. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting on PPV? He wants the shot at Awesome. Please come murder him. Instead it’s the Impact Players and a British guy named Johnny Smith. Apparently Smith vs. RVD is the main event. Rotten says the people are cheering for the women and not the talent.

Insert your Becca joke here. Balls Mahoney and Spike come in for the save and Dawn gets hit with an Acid Drop. Smith takes a BIG chair shot and leaves. So Balls gets the title shot instead. Oh dear.

ECW TV Title: Balls Mahoney vs. Rob Van Dam

And we have half an hour to go and this is the main event. Oh DANG this could be painful. So we have Lynn who is obsessed with beating Van Dam and we get….Balls Mahoney vs. RVD. And people wonder why this company died. So Van Dam walks around for a few minutes to kill time. Wouldn’t a five minute match be a better use of time?

Oh that’s right: that army of jobbers had to be beaten up by New Jack instead of having a quick match. So with 25 minutes to go, NO ONE buys Mahoney having a prayer here. Seriously, they’re just blatantly wasting time now. I can’t get over Balls Mahoney main eventing a PPV. Seriously, no one cares about this match at all. All I’m doing is watching the clock on the player to wait until this is over.

Are those punches Balls throws supposed to be impressive or something? Van Dam hits a nice dive from the top into the crowd. And that ends anything interesting in this match. Seriously, the rest is more or less nothing but punches, kicks, chair shots and Balls doing moves he botches. This got TWENTY MINUTES.

Yeah I skipped a lot of the details here, but other than managing to kill an ECW crowd in a town like Chicago, this is the least interesting main event I can ever remember. Just terrible. A video package of the show fills in the final three minutes of the show.

Rating: F. Balls Mahoney main evented a PPV. That should be a meme somewhere for EPIC FAIL.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t completely terrible. There are some good matches here, but good night the stuff that sucked was sucking hard. The opener and world title match were both very solid but the rest is completely forgettable. The three way cruiserweight match was fine for what it was but it’s been done WAY too much for me to care again. Not completely terrible, but nothing worth seeing. Storm and Lynn and the title match are good though.

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WWE House Show – September 20, 2013

I took in the WWE house show tonight at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky. I know I said this about the TNA show I went to over the summer, but this might have been the most fun I’ve ever had at a wrestling event. The crowd was red hot all night and the matches were all at least decent. There was even a nice surprise that I’ll get to in a bit. Let’s get to it.

 

The tickets didn’t cost anything as I beat a wrestling expert on the local radio station in a trivia competition to win the seats. We were in the second row on the first level above the floor seats, which is where I’ve sat many times before. The view was great and you could easily see almost everything save for some brawling on the floor or in the aisle. I’m horrible at guessing attendances but I’d guess there were a few thousand people. The entire upper deck was empty but Rupp arena holds well over 20,000 people so a packed house was out of the question. As usual the empty sections started filling up as the show went on.

 

Also note that I’ll be lighter on the ratings tonight as this is a house show, not a major show.

 

Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder

 

In possibly the biggest shock, Zack Ryder might have actually received the ovation of the night. I mean the place exploded for him and didn’t stop cheering for him for nearly half of his match. It was like 2011 all over again and it was a very nice surprise for an old Ryder fan. Before the match Sandow asked up to stand for My Old Kentucky Home (state song) but said we weren’t worthy of it. He also promised to drive 65 miles to Louisville to be with a real basketball team before trying to start a Let’s Go Cards (hated enemy of the Kentucky Wildcats who play at Rupp) chant. He also said God bless Rick Pitino (Cardinals coach) to really tick them off.

 

The match was what you would expect, though there was some nice psychology included. Ryder missed a charge and got his arm tied up in the ropes. Sandow spent the majority of the match working over the arm which is such a basic move but so many wrestlers just miss it anymore. Ryder hit the Broski Boot and sent Sandow face first into the buckle, setting up the Rough Ryder for the pin in about 6:00.

 

Rating: C. Fine opener and the crowd is very hot tonight.

 

The fans voted for the Divas tag to be a dance off instead of a match.

 

AJ/Layla vs. Funkadactyls

 

Didn’t Layla turn her back on AJ recently? Anyway AJ got a high pitched pop before refusing to dance. Layla did the usual comedic dancing before slipping while going to the corners. The Dactyls did their usual routine but AJ/Layla jumped them to start a match. I sat through this entire thing and absolutely nothing happened that deserved to be written down. Horrible boring stuff and the fans didn’t care at all. Cameron pinned Layla after about 7:30 with a not horrible DDT.

 

Rating: D-.

 

The Dactyls danced afterwards.

 

Jack Swagger vs. Sami Zayn

 

Since this is an ultra conservative state, Swagger was relatively over. Zayn was the one guy I was hoping would be here who wasn’t advertised, though he came out to crickets. Remember that for later. This wasn’t as good as their NXT match but it was still one of the better matches of the night. A few fans behind us chanted OLE which seemed to confuse many fans around us. Colter wasn’t there either as was recently announced.

 

This was a nice match with Swagger controlling for the most part. Sami came back with his high spots, including a big flip dive over the ropes to take out Swagger. Sami’s top rope cross body looked great too. He tried a second one but got caught in the second Patriot Lock of the match, only to roll Swagger up for the pin at about 10:00. The important thing to note was that while Sami came out to crickets, he had the crowd invested in the match after just a few minutes. Zayn made them care about someone they didn’t care about, which is really difficult to do. That’s a good sign for his future.

 

Rating: B-. This was really fun stuff.

 

Kofi Kingston/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

 

The Wyatts was the advertised appearance I was looking forward to most. First of all though, the Usos’ entrance got a HUGE reaction. They always get a solid reaction on TV as well, which makes me hope that they get a stronger push soon. The Wyatt entrance got a nice reaction too and the reports are correct: they’re just chilling in person. Bray sat in his rocking chair while the other two were in the ring when the lights came on. I’ve seen Undertaker, Kane and Big Show in person but those two were even more imposing. Rowan, the one with the mask, stood perfectly still during the pre-match staredown and stayed there until the opening bell. It worked really well.

 

Bray stayed on the floor at first before bolting into the ring to beat down an Uso, revealing some bright red pants that you have be a brain washing swamp preacher to pull off. Bray is downright eerie in person, walking around the apron with this psychotic look on his face. They worked a regular formula match here with I think an Uso getting beaten down for the most part. You just couldn’t take your eyes off Bray though as he was so creepy. The big spot of the match was a triple suicide dive from the good guys.

 

It was quickly forgotten though as Bray came back in and did the spot where he leans over backwards in the corner, only to drop to his hands to do the upside down on all fours walk from the Exorcist. JBL freaking out when he sees that on TV will be quite a sight. Anyway Kofi got the hot tag and everything broke down with Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise on Harper, only to get caught with Sister Abigail for the pin at about 12:00.

 

Rating: B. REALLY fun match here with the Wyatts, Bray in particular, totally stealing the show.

 

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

 

There wasn’t much to talk about here. Alberto worked on the arm, Rob came back with kicks. Del Rio went after the arm and got the armbreaker, only to not break when Van Dam got to the ropes for the DQ, just like at the PPV. Match ran just under 10:00 and was nothing special at all. Not bad, but these two have don’t have much chemistry.

 

Rating: C-.

 

Rob got up and kicked Del Rio down, drawing out Sandow to tease a cash-in, only to be kicked in the face by Van Dam. Van Dam went around shaking hands as we went to intermission.

 

Ryback vs. Santino Marella

 

Now we get to the comedy portion of the evening. Ryback insisted that the referee hold the ropes open for him, only to say those weren’t the ropes he meant and that the referee had to open the other set. Ryback was then introduced at 305lbs, which he insisted be described as ALL MAN. Santino was ticked off about the bullying and said Ryback was just a bully, just a mean person and….much bigger than he looked from the floor.

 

Santino tried a series of shoulder blocks to start the match but kept bouncing off Ryback and falling to the mat. He hit the ropes again but stopped short of Ryback, said “allow me” and fell on his back without being touched. Santino couldn’t execute a nip up or slam Ryback, so the big man destroyed him for a bit instead. Santino came back and hit the nip up and slam to big pops because they had been built up. Again, simple idea but no one does it anymore. Santino loaded up the Cobra but Ryback bit his fingers to block it and put on a bearhug, only to have Santino escape with a wet Willy. The Shell Shock ended Marella in 7:40.

 

Rating: C+. Fun comedy squash here and there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

 

This was kind of confusing as the match had been advertised as for the title, then as No DQ later in the show. Axel said that Heyman (not here tonight) had found a rule saying that Axel didn’t have to defend the title if he had defended it in the last 30 days, so this was non-title. Axel also said there would be DQ’s, because apparently he just has that authority.

 

There really wasn’t much to this match and it was mainly punching and kicking. Punk did his usual spots, including the dive through the ropes and the Macho Elbow, but there were no weapons at all in the match. At one point Axel even grabbed a mic and said he wouldn’t be using a table so stop asking for one. Punk won with a GTS in approximately 15:00 (I forgot to time it). Not much of a match but the fans were into Punk.

 

Rating: C. I’m guessing Punk is moving a bit slowly due to the injuries from the PPV.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

 

Now this is where we’ll get to the interesting part. Orton got a solid pop but Bryan…got the same at best or maybe even a bit weaker one. The fans got on their feet and did the YES chant and the finger point, but it definitely wasn’t an explosion or even a huge pop. My buddy Josh suggested that a lot of the fans aren’t so much into Bryan, but maybe just joining in because everyone else is doing it. I read a report from I want to say Wade Keller from a Smackdown taping a few weeks back and he said about the same thing: the fans cheered for Bryan, but he doesn’t get the same reaction that other superstars get. There’s time to change that, but it’s very difficult to overcome.

 

This was about what you would expect as Bryan got in all of his usual spots. Bryan is incredibly talented, but he’s getting to the point where he’s using a lot of the same sequences. Those sequences are very entertaining, but other than the running knee he hasn’t changed things up in awhile.

 

The interesting part of this was Orton might have lost a tooth due to a running dropkick in the corner. Something very large flew out and Orton was holding his mouth and nearly writhing around in pain. Bryan got the YES Lock but Orton got to the rope. Bryan missed a dive to give Orton control, meaning a lot of chinlocks. Bryan made his comeback and hit his signature spots before hitting the running knee out of nowhere for the pin at 16:50. I don’t even think Orton loaded up an RKO.

 

Rating: B-. Good match but it wasn’t great by any means.

 

Bryan went around to shake hands to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: A-. This show was a blast with only the Divas match being bad, but if the worst thing I have to sit through is Layla basically wrestling in a bikini, so be it. The fans were on fire all night, most of the big stars were there, and the matches were all solid. I believe the seats we were sitting in cost about $20-30 and they would have been more than worth the price. I was at the show in Louisville a few months back and wasn’t very impressed. This was the polar opposite and one of the most entertaining shows I’ve ever been to. WWE is on fire at the moment and at a level I haven’t seen in a long time. Great show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown – September 20, 2013: The Strangest Gauntlet Match Ever

Sorry for the delay as I was at a WWE house show.  Report coming.

 

Smackdown
Date: September 20, 2013
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Night of Chapions and the main story is that there’s no WWE Champion. Bryan won the title on Sunday but has been stripped of it due to an alleged conspiracy between he and now fired referee Scott Armstrong. On Raw however, the roster finally came together to fight back against HHH and the Corporation, giving us an interesting battle for the first time since this began, which was somehow just over a month ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Night of Champions and Raw, set up through an interview with HHH. He compares the scandal with Armstrong to Pete Rose hypothetically conspiring with an umpire to fix the World Series.

Here’s Vickie to open things up. She says she has a thrilling and exciting show planned for us tonight, but first she has to introduce the laughing stock of the WWE. Bob Backlund held the WWE Championship for over 2,000 days, but this man held it for less than a day: Daniel Bryan. Daniel says he’d rather be champion for one day than being a shrill corporate suck-up for his entire life. Vickie gives him an opportunity to come clean but Bryan says the truth is he kneed Orton in the face for three. It could have been a twenty count because Orton was out cold.

Bryan says he should still be champion but Vickie says he should be fired. Daniel says everyone is grateful that Vickie has no real power, but Vickie would rather talk about the people that got involved at the end of the night. Those people would be Ziggler, the Usos, R-Truth, Justin Gabriel, Zack Ryder, the Prime Time Players, Kofi Kingston and Rob Van Dam. Tonight it’s going to be an 11-3 handicap gauntlet match. The idea is all eleven of them will come down to face the Shield 3-1 until Shield has defeated them all. Bryan is lucky enough to go last.

Naomi vs. AJ

Non-title. Natalya is on commentary and talks about how AJ is riding the coattails of the Total Divas who have revolutionized the division. AJ easily takes Naomi down and hooks a cravate as Natalya calls AJ an opportunist for how she kept the title on Sunday. A running back elbow gets two for the champion, though Natalya is FAR more entertaining, trying to make the Total Divas sound like good people. Naomi comes back with a dropkick and the Rear View for two. AJ’s sleeper is quickly broken up but she grabs the Black Widow for the submission at 3:25.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but this story is ranging anywhere from so bad it’s hilarious to horrible depending on how you look at it. The problem is the whole angle hinges on no one ever watching Total Divas, because there’s no way to cheer for any of its cast, but AJ is being presented as a stuck up villain who lords her title over everyone in sight.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Colter tells Santino to take the ravioli out of his ears and asks if he has the proper papers to own a reptile. During Santino’s entrance, JBL and Cole hype up Billy Gunn as the guests on their show by saying Road Dogg’s catchphrases. Swagger throws Santino down and shouts at him a lot before hooking a double armbar. Santino comes back with his usual sequence before hooking a backslide to pin Swagger at 2:02. When I’m feeling sorry for Jack Swagger, it’s a bad sign.

Ryback vs. Nick Nardone

Nardone is OVW Champion Jamin Olivencia. Before the match, Heyman talks about Punk giving him all he could handle at Night of Champions, but only one of them could come out on top. Ryback says Heyman doesn’t deserve to be picked on by a bully like Punk, so he’s going to treat Nick like he’ll treat Punk. It’s a fifty second match with the Meat Hook and Shell Shock ending Nardone, as you would expect.

Here’s Orton with something to say. He talks about Bryan and Armstrong taking the title from him at Night of Champions, but that was 100% his own fault. He never should have been in that position but he’s spent two years repressing who he really is for the fans. Orton locked away the Viper because that’s what everyone wanted. But then Monday night on Raw, HHH and Stephanie showed Orton what he really should be. We get a clip of the attack on Miz from Raw, which Orton calls a warning to anyone who gets in his path. At Battleground, he’s going to end the war with Daniel Bryan and be his own WWE Champion.

Shield vs. Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan/R-Truth

It’s 3-1, one man at a time, no tagging. Darren Young is first and it goes exactly as you would expect with Reigns getting the pin via the spear in 41 seconds. Titus O’Neil is in next and has a bit better luck by throwing the smaller guys around a bit. Reigns runs him down though and the big beatdown is on. Rollins grabs a guillotine with a body vice and the beating continues. The TripleBomb ends O’Neil at 1:57 (all times total).

Dolph Ziggler is in third but he charges in like a nitwit too. Ziggler speeds things up as fast as he can but Rollins and Dean finally get him to the ground. Reigns gets to take his shots including a headbutt. Ambrose takes too much time talking though and Dolph gets in some solid offense, low bridging Reigns to the floor and hitting the Fameasser on Seth. A Cactus Clothesline puts Ziggler and Ambrose on the floor for a second but Rollins knees Ziggler to the floor. Reigns spears Ziggler down and he can’t beat the count at 5:39.

Here’s Kofi Kingston to try his luck but Rollins comes to meet him in the aisle for some reason, allowing Kofi to snap the other twos’ necks across the top rope. A quick Trouble in Paradise gets a near fall on Reigns but the numbers catch up to Kofi. The bulldog driver gets rid of Kingston at 7:13. Rob Van Dam is in next and Reigns is still down.

A banged up Rollins and Ambrose jump Van Dam but he kicks both guys down as things speed up. Ambrose is monkey flipped down and Reigns is kicked back down to the floor. Rolling Thunder hits both Rollins and Ambrose at the same time and Van Dam loads up the Five Star on Dean….as HHH comes out to call the match off at about 9:00.

Rating: C. The non-finish hurt this a lot because I was starting to get into it at the end. The idea of Shield fighting off everyone at once but slowly getting beaten down made sense and felt like something out of a video game. It was really doing a good job at building drama to seeing how far anyone could get without getting beaten but the ending stopped it cold.

Post break HHH yells at Vickie, asking what in the world she was thinking. After what Vickie did tonight, ten more of them would revolt next time, then ten more until we had a full scale revolt. Vickie says it was good for business, but tonight needs to be about fair competition. HHH demands Vickie to make the Usos/Daniel Bryan vs. the Shield, therefore again making Bryan the focus of the show after saying for weeks that there was no way we could have Bryan as the focus of the show.

The Raw ReBound covers the Dusty Rhodes story.

Ryder and Gabriel come in to see HHH and he gives them a match for no apparent reason.

Zack Ryder/Justin Gabriel vs. Wyatt Family

Harper gives Ryder a freaky look to start but Zack fires off a forearm in the corner. A big boot takes Ryder down for two as everything breaks down. Gabriel is sent to the floor and Harper hits a buckle bomb on Ryder followed by the discus lariat (JBL: “GOOD GOD!”) for the pin at 1:12.

Bray hits Sister Abigail on Ryder post match and talks about keeping his promises.

RVD has a banged up elbow but HHH comes in and gives him a world title match against Del Rio at Battleground. HHH leaves and Del Rio comes in to beat RVD down, including the low superkick. Cole thinks it’s odd that Del Rio was right there at that given time.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Truth pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The ax kick misses though and Del Rio hits a quick Backstabber for two. Off to a reverse chinlock but Truth comes back with some kicks to the ribs. The front suplex is good for two but Alberto hits the corner enziguri for the same result. Truth rolls out of the armbreaker and hits the ax kick for two, only to be caught with the low superkick and the armbreaker for the submission at 3:34.

Rating: D+. This was about what you would expect out of these two. Truth is a jobber to the stars anymore but at least we don’t have to put up with his matches being set up by dancing anymore. Del Rio still has nothing to his character other than being from Mexico as the money has been phased out, keeping him as average of a heel as you can be.

Shield vs. Usos/Daniel Bryan

Bryan starts by firing off kicks in the corner to Rollins’ chest before dropping a knee for two. Rollins tries the jumping knee but gets caught in the surfboard instead. With the hold still mostly on it’s Jey in off the tag with a clothesline, only to get caught in the Shield corner and punched by Ambrose. Jey comes back with a backdrop and brings in his brother who gets two off a clothesline.

Off to a hammerlock but Dean fights into the corner, only to have Jey come back in with a big chop for two. The Usos drop a double elbow for two but Jey is driven into the Shield corner again for the tag off to Reigns for some stomping. Jey stays out of trouble by pulling Roman into the corner for the tag off to Bryan. Kicking abounds until Reigns takes Daniel down with an elbow to the jaw and a tag off to rollins for a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Daniel jawbreaks his way out and tags in Jimmy.

Jimmy does about as well as a career tag team wrestler fighting off three guys who have been defeating main eventers for over a year now as we take a break. Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Rollins chinlock and making the hot tag off to Jey. A few rooms of the house are cleaned but Rollins enziguris him down, allowing for the real heat segment to begin.

Dean hits a running dropkick against the ropes and holds Jey in place for a slingshot hilo, giving Rollins two. Back to Reigns for a jumping elbow drop for two and we hit the chinlock. A huge clothesline gets two for Roman and it’s right back to the chinlock. Jey fights up again and fires off right hands all around followed by a Bubba Bomb on Rollins. The hot tag brings in Bryan for the real house cleaning by knocking Reigns and Rollins to the floor.

Two running corner dropkicks set up a hurricanrana to Dean for two. Jimmy dives over the top to take out Reigns and Jey does the same to Rollins. Dean clotheslines Bryan down but gets caught in the YES Lock, right in front of the ropes. Jey superkicks Ambrose into the running knee from Bryan at 14:00 shown of 17:00.

Rating: B. This was the same thing that you’ve grown to expect from every Shield match: great action, a bunch of saved near falls and a hot finish. On top of that the Shield doesn’t lose anything here given that they were coming in at a disadvantage. Good match here but did you really expect anything else?

Overall Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade. The gauntlet match was really fun but it was pulled halfway through for some reason. A solid main event helps of course and we got some story development, but this show felt like it was over before it started. I’m not sure if that was a good thing as only the gauntlet match felt like anything special. Still though, fun show overall and a good use of two hours.

Results

AJ Lee b. Naomi – Black Widow

Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Backslide

Ryback b. Nick Nardone – Shell Shock

Shield vs. Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan/R-Truth went to a no contest

Wyatt Family b. Justin Gabriel/Zack Ryder – Discus lariat to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Daniel Bryan/Usos b. Shield – Running knee to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




ROH Offering Death Before Dishonor FREE Tonight

According to ROH’s Facebook page, you can check out the show for FREE tonight at gfl.tv.  Apparently Go Fight Live has a new streaming system and are offering the show for free to demonstrate it.  I heard about this just a few seconds ago and this sounds legit to me.  Tonight has the final four in the tournament for the ROH World Title including the championship match and you can’t do better than that for free.  Check it out if you have the time.  The show starts at 8PM EST.

 

For reference sake, I’ve had Elgin winning the title since the brackets were announced.