Checking Out The CM Punk DVD

I won’t do a full review of it as it’s almost impossible to review a documentary in my style and I’ve done all of the matches before.  I’ll give some thoughts on it if I can remember to soon enough, but one line made me stop the DVD.They’re talking about Punk cashing in his first world title and HHH has this GEM.

 

“I’ve always thought it’s the guy who makes the title, not the title that makes the guy.”

 

This coming from HHH, who had a title invented for him so that he could hold the same belt Flair and Race held just so he could be on a list with them, which is hogwash by the way.  That title that Del Rio currently holds has as much to do with the NWA World Title as a belt I made when I was nine.  It has a lineage dating back about 11 years and started when HHH pulled it out of a briefcase.

 

Anyway, HHH saying that a guy makes a title is rather hysterical given that he’s had a title made for him as well as unified ALL of the titles into one so he could be champion of the universe.




Smackdown – September 27, 2013: I’ve Never Seen This Before

Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2013
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The WWE is almost on the verge of a civil war between the HHH regime and a good chunk of the midcard. Daniel Bryan continues to be the one big hope for the good guys but tonight is about Dolph Ziggler as he challenges for Dean Ambrose’s US Title. Other than that we may see some new developments for Battleground which is now just over a week away. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He’s been checking social media and doesn’t like seeing terms like favoritism or abuse of power. Sometimes WWE Superstars would rather blame management for their own failures. HHH and Stephanie are fine with that burden because they simply can’t make everyone happy so they do what’s best for business. Then on Raw HHH puts Shield in an 11-3 handicap match, ending with Daniel Bryan pinning Seth Rollins for the final win. HHH continues to talk about how awesome the match was but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz doesn’t think there’s much to this idea of being fair but HHH cuts him off by reminding Miz of all the opportunities he’s been given. Miz is the classic example of what HHH was talking about: a superstar who failed but blames someone else. HHH put him in the ring with Randy Orton two weeks ago and here’s a clip of the beatdown Orton gave him in front of Miz’s family.

What HHH doesn’t get is why the beatdown that Randy Orton gave Miz should be on HHH’s head. It’s HHH’s job to protect Miz, even from himself. That’s why Miz only allowed Miz to host MizTV on Raw and he even threw Miz another opportunity by giving him Big Show as a guest. We get a clip of Stephanie telling Big Show to knock him out, which Miz says was ridiculous.

HHH asks Miz what he called Stephanie, with Miz repeating the castrated witch line, but he wishes he could replace the W with a B. Tempers were running high all around on Monday and HHH is sure Stephanie regrets what she said. However, let’s talk about tonight. Miz must be ready to go, so tonight it’s Miz vs. Randy Orton. Maybe HHH should even get in the jet and bring Miz’s parents here to watch another beatdown.

R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title of course. Del Rio is very excited over what he did to RVD on Raw and he easily weathers an early Truth attack, only to miss a charge into the post. Truth’s suplex into a Stunner gets two but the ax kick misses, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 1:33.

Post match Del Rio goes after Truth even more until RVD makes the save and holds up the title.

In the back Vickie and HHH make the match with Del Rio vs. RVD a hardcore match. HHH’s name for the match: the Battleground Hardcore Rules match. Somehow, that might be more creative than the writing staff.

The Prime Time Players teach some stagehands the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Titus get things going with O’Neil kicking both Americans down like they’re not even there. Swagger comes back by taking out the leg before the Americans start some rapid tags. Jack drives Titus into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before it’s back to Cesaro to stomp him down. Here’s the giant swing on O’Neil for a ridiculous 27 seconds. It’s one thing on a small guy like Santino but to do 22 revolutions on a guy 6’4 and over 260lbs is INSANE. Again, why in the world is Cesaro in this tag team and not fighting for world titles?

Cesaro is too dizzy to stop a tag though and Young starts cleaning house. Cesaro comes right back with a spinning Rock Bottom for two as everything breaks down. Darren gets a rollup for two on Antonio but Swagger gets in a blind tag. Young hits the Gut Check on Cesaro but Swagger comes back in with the Patriot Lock for the submission from Young at 3:45.

Rating: C. Any match with nearly 30 seconds of Titus O’Neil being swung around in a circle makes me it at least passable. The Players are a fine midcard team and Cesaro is awesome but Swagger is just there. He’s such damaged goods at this point that he’s dragging down anyone he works with. Heaven forbid we change anything about him though right? That would just be lunacy.

Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder

Harper and Rowan throw Ryder into the ring but don’t do anything to him other than that. Zack fires off some right hands so Bray just runs him over and drives in shots to Ryder’s back. We actually get a chinlock from Wyatt but Ryder fights up and hits his usual stuff. The Rough Ryder is countered with Ryder being LAUNCHED into the air, followed by Sister Abigail’s Kiss getting the pin at 2:21.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kofi and RVD flank Ziggler for protection. Just get to the DQ and six man tag already. Dean takes over with a headbutt and rakes Ziggy’s eyes over the top rope. An elbow drop gets a quick one for the champion but Dolph comes back with punches in the corner and a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor, triggering a brawl for the DQ at 2:01.

HHH makes the six man.

Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston/Rob Van Dam

The bell rings and we take a break literally a second later. Back with Van Dam firing off kicks to Rollins before driving shoulders in the corner. Rolling Thunder gets two but Rollins gets in a shot to Rob’s bad arm to take over. Off to Dean to crank on the arm but Rob comes back with a spin kick to the face to bring in Ziggler. Dolph snaps off a dropkick and drops five elbows instead of ten. Ambrose pops up and counters the jumping DDT into a snap spinebuster to give Shield control again.

Off to Reigns for a hard clothesline for two before bringing Dean back in to work on the ribs. Reigns comes back in and slams Dolph face first into the mat in a move so simple that it’s awesome. Something like a gutwrench slam has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to put both guys down. Rollins breaks up another hot tag attempt but gets backdropped down, allowing for the real hot tag to Kofi.

Kingston speeds things up and hits the Boom Drop on Ambrose followed by the spinning cross body for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser on Rollins but gets speared down by Reigns. Rob kicks Reigns down and clotheslines him to the floor for a moonsault from the apron. Kofi hits a springboard clothesline on Ambrose and Trouble in Paradise to Reigns, only to have Rollins hit the running knee to the head to give Dean the pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part with a very hot finish. Shield certainly still has it for the six man stuff as they went nuts out there with the fast spots for the ending. It’s always more fun when you don’t know who is going to win a match and Shield is great at those false finishes with the last second saves.

Big Show says he can’t sleep at night and is a pariah in his own locker room. He starts crying again when HHH comes in and says maybe Show should just walk away. They really need to read up on what IRON CLAD means. HHH offers to help him find a job as a doorman or baggage handler since Big Show’s size makes him “special.” Big Show holds his fist up at HHH but doesn’t do anything past that.

Cameron vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. Tamina comes out with AJ due to every other Diva being against her (according to AJ in an inset promo). AJ takes Cameron into the corner before hooking a cravate about 30 seconds into the match. Cameron comes back with a quick rollup and a flying leg attack which was supposed to be a cross body for two. AJ sends her to the floor and shouts that Cameron is useless. Tamina takes out an interfering Naomi and the Shining Wizard knocks out Cameron for the pin at 2:41. Still no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for here but Cameron is worthless.

Here’s Heyman to show us a clip of him pinning Punk at the PPV. The fans have disappointed him because they’re surprised he pinned Punk. Heyman trade secret: Punk will lose every time the fans’ blood lust drives him to come after Paul. We look at the Heyman guys destroying Punk on Monday. Heyman thanks everyone for their help on Monday and that includes the fans for driving Punk to do it. Punk is crazy enough to want a match with Ryback at Battleground which will end up with Punk on his back and looking up at the best in the world.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino has Hornswoggle and Great Khali with him. Slater drops Santino with a single right hand to start and we hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match. Santino comes back with his punches and hiptoss, only to have Slater knee him in the ribs to stop the comeback. As much of a comeback as you can have in the first minute of a match that is.

Slater gets crotched on the top and Santino loads up the Cobra….but Mahal plays a flute to hypnotize the sock. Khali plays a flute of his own to counter but McIntyre takes him down. The Cobra is about to attack Santino when Horny makes the save. Khali plays some more flute, allowing Santino to hit Slater with the Cobra for the pin at 2:58. I’ve watched wrestling for over 25 years and I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like this.

Los Matadores arrive on Raw.

We recap the Rhodes Family troubles. Cody and Goldust (and presumably Dusty) accept an invitation to Raw on Monday.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz charges at Orton to start and fires off left hands in the corner. A clothesline sends Orton to the floor and he goes into the post for good measure. Back in and Miz pounds away even more before kicking Orton in the face. The running corner clothesline only hits buckle though and Orton has a breather. Miz might have injured his shoulder and has to be looked at but says he can keep going. Orton immediately grabs the Elevated DDT and won’t let the doctor check on Miz again, drawing a DQ at 3:05. I’m not going to bother rating it due to a good chunk being spent on the medical check but this was more of an angle than a match.

Cue HHH to say that Orton isn’t getting out of it that easily so we’re restarting this as a No DQ match. Orton throws Miz over the announce table and then into the steps as he’s in psycho mode. Miz gets in a chair shot to the ribs but Orton gets in a shot of his own to take over again. Another Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Miz out cold but it’s the RKO for the pin at about 6:20 total.

Rating: C. Again this was more of an angle than a match. They’re doing a much better job at getting Orton over as a heel here though and that’s the important thing. Orton being all smug and holding the title isn’t going to get people to hate him but being a psycho that destroys people when they can’t defend themselves certainly will. Miz is a good choice for a sacrificial lamb.

Overall Rating: C. This was a story building show and there’s nothing wrong with that. The show flew by and never dragged, but there’s nothing on here you need to see. The good for business thing was a bit better tonight with HHH screwing over faces instead of heels like he did on Monday. Not a bad show but it was a supplement to Raw which is a bad choice for Smackdown.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Superkick

Real American b. Prime Time Players – Patriot Lock to Young

Bray Wyatt b. Zack Ryder – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston – Ambrose pinned Kingston after a running knee to the head

AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Randy Orton b. Miz – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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No Way Out 2009: Why Having Two World Titles Is Stupid

No Way Out 2009
Date: February 15, 2009
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the final No Way Out and one more time we have a pair of Chamber matches. There are a total of five matches on the card so as you can see we don’t have a lot to work with on this one. Three are title matches, one is a street fight and the other is Shawn vs. JBL for Shawn’s freedom which I’m kind of surprised they didn’t hold off until Mania for, but Shawn wound up fighting Taker instead so I think it’s ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about the McMahons in their war against Orton. You know, instead of about the world titles or the Chamber matches or anything stupid like that. Oh wait they throw that in at the end. How nice of them.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge vs. HHH vs. Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Edge is champion here and who would have bet on Undertaker being the first guy to come out on a PPV? Ever seen or heard of that at all? I certainly haven’t. The Chamber has a personality now. Show comes out second to more or less no reaction. Show has gained back a good deal of his weight by this point. It’s kind of fun to wait and see who will be the two starters. It won’t be Kozlov as he comes in third.

HHH won’t start either (I’m stunned too) so it’ll be Jeff vs. Edge. Well you can’t complain there. Edge had ended Jeff’s first reign in January at the Rumble so the story is there. HHH has won three Chambers and is a mere 12 time world champion here. He spits through the top of Show’s cage down on his head just to tick him off. BIG pop when Jeff comes out. The time is allegedly five minutes here but I’ll believe that when I see it. Nearly fifteen minutes into the show it’s time to get going.

JR for some reason can’t get the rules right and Taz has to save him. When do you see that? Jeff goes straight at him and Edge counters with a clothesline to put the purple haired dude down for two. Ok this time pins have to be in the ring. Edge slugs away and growls at Show, mocking the chokeslam. Jeff fights back and the Twist of Fate hits maybe two minutes in. Swanton misses and it’s spear time. Wow they’re going kind of fast here aren’t they? Jeff rolls through it though into a small package, and Edge is out in maybe three minutes tops. WOW.

Now we have to wait for the next guy to come in as the crowd is stunned. He was the reigning champion too, so the world champion just got pinned in about three minutes in a title match. There’s the clock and in third is Kozlov who gets to beat on Hardy for awhile. He’s still undefeated here somehow. The headbutt to Jeff’s chest has him in trouble early on.

It’s so strange to think that Kozlov got his first title as a comedy enforcer rather than this version of him that is in a world title match on PPV. All Kozlov here as the fans chant USA. Well at least they can spell for the most part. Fallaway slam gets two as Jeff has had almost no offense in this period. Vlad gets a bearhug while Jeff is on his back. Jeff gets in some punches and that gets him nowhere so it’s more of the same now.

Here comes Jeff again with the slingshot dropkick to keep Koz down for awhile. Whisper in the Wind hits as the clock ticks down. It’s Big Show in fourth and I don’t like Jeff’s chances of survival here. Does JR have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids or something? Why else would he know them that easily? Koz and Show beat on Jeff for awhile but don’t cover him for no apparent reason.

They literally spend three and a half to four minutes just letting the other get in big shots on the other guy. Isn’t this kind of uh, stupid? LOUD chop by Show in the corner followed by a second. Tazz makes a bit of fun of JR for saying the Chamber has a personality. Kozlov finally drills Show to take him down while Jeff is able to recover. Well no one ever said these two are that intelligent.

The countdown comes on and it’s HHH in fifth. Anyone else think he’ll be the winner? He goes straight for Big Show and that gets him mostly nowhere so he switches off to….right back to Big Show. Ok then. Spinebuster takes down Show and HHH gets a counter to a Twist of Fate with a clothesline. Vlad does his best Stasiak impression as he charges at HHH but goes over the top to the cage.

The fans cheer for HHH which apparently validate putting him in the main event of Mania in dominance by him. Of course it did. Show gets back into it and the four guys pair off into teams of two. The margins of time are really stretching here. Show slams HHH into the cage and then Hardy into the cage. Show then charges but eats cage instead and is in trouble.

We finally hit the countdown and here comes Taker who goes straight for Show. You can tell Taker is in a zone here and would be ready for Shawn next month. Taker destroys everyone and sets for a double chokeslam but Show breaks it up for no apparent reason. Old School is started on HHH but Taker dives off onto Show instead and DDTs him on the cage. NOW Old School hits the Game. Taker is looking awesome here as he’s beating the tar out of everyone.

Kozlov gets a shot in finally and shows how stupid Russia is as he goes up to the corner and just like happened last year and to everyone else on the planet, the Last Ride drills him and out he goes. Ross is so casual about it that you can tell he’s thinking how stupid Vlad was there. Down to Show, Hardy, HHH and Taker now. Pedigree can’t hit Show and HHH gets backdropped to the cage again.

Show gets all dominant and throws HHH around before going after Hardy for a bit. So he’s a dominant swinger? Kinky. Hardy hammers away so Show just throws him onto the top of a pod. Taker manages to get a superplex off the top of the pod followed by a Pedigree followed by a huge Swanton. HHH steals the pin and we’re down to three.

Hardy is more or less dead after the Swanton so Taker beats on HHH for awhile. He goes for Old School on Hardy but HHH saves. Why do so many people do that? Let Hardy take a big move and maybe get pinned. Apparently that’s a bad thing here. Poetry in Motion with Taker action as Matt takes down HHH on the steel. And then a few seconds later a Tombstone gets us down to HHH vs. Taker which should be good.

Taker misses a big boot in the corner and we head out to the steel again. HHH comes off and lands in a chokeslam for a long two and a big reaction on the kickout. Spinebuster “out of nowhere (dang it JR stop stealing my lines!)” gets a close two. We get an awesome counter sequence as Taker goes for a Tombstone on the steel but HHH reverses over the ropes but Taker keeps rotating and gets one of his own.

It gets two though as HHH puts his foot on the rope. In the ELIMINATION CHAMBER, a foot on the rope breaks up a pin. That is, in a word, FREAKING WEAK! Pedigree gets two and draws boos as we can clearly tell the favorite here. After a big punch out, HHH pounds on him and, I kid you not, does ten punches in the corner. For the sake of my sanity he reverses and a Pedigree ends this. Not sure if we should chalk that up to intelligence or luck but whatever.

Rating: A-. Solid match for sure and the whole thing worked for the most part. They had the good balance here of shock with the beginning, the beatdown by the monster, the big beatdown to get rid of said monster, and the big slugout to end it. Great match and one of the best in the series so far. Oh and HHH has his 13th world title to set up the WAY too long feud with Orton.

Edge freaks out on Vickie who blames Edge for this one. Their marriage would end soon enough.

We recap Orton vs. the McMahons which started with Orton punting Vince when he tried to fire him. There was an alleged mental condition with Orton where he threatened to sue if he was fired. Naturally there wasn’t one which was one of the stupidest angles I can remember in a long time. Shane came back as the big surprise and of course this gets the music video treatment instead of the world title match later in the night. Well why wouldn’t it? IT’S THE MCMAHONS!!! Orton tried to punt Steph but Shane dove in front for the save.

Orton asks how Shane’s father is doing. He’s almost robotic here and it’s rather creepy. Shane is going to cry tonight it seems.

Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon

This is of course no holds barred because that’s all Shane knows how to do. Orton’s entrance takes a good two minutes as apparently with five matches on the card they need to fill time. Shane, as ticked off as possible and here for revenge, still is able to do that dance of his on the stage. Both guys charge but they can’t connect. Shane has the always intimidating gray hair.

And we’re seconds in and Shane is getting beaten down. Well this was nice to see but let’s get on to the next match already I guess. Shane fires back with jabs and his different style of punching. The floor is soaked which I think is off of Orton. It’s garbage can time as we hit the floor. There’s some other stuff out there too but it hasn’t been used yet. Shane goes into an exposed buckle and Shane is in trouble rather early on.

Shane’s back is hurt apparently. He gets a Singapore Cane from somewhere to drill Randy with as this is moving rather slowly. Shane sets up the Smackdown announce table at ringside and DRILLS Randy with the monitor, drawing some blood I think. Oh yeah it’s a big one. Orton is so orange it’s hard to tell at times. Shane sets up the big elbow but Legacy comes in for the save.

Shane, the non wrestler that he is, fights off former tag team champions on his own because who can’t do that right? Coast to Coast to Rhodes on a trash can which would look a bit better if the part of the can Rhodes had on his face actually moved. Shane goes for the elbow through the table but Orton moves, sending Shane crashing through everything.

There’s the elevated DDT for two because you know, fighting tag team champions, getting destroyed by a former world champion, crashing through a table and a spike DDT isn’t enough to stop someone for three seconds. Orton sets up a table and suplexes Shane from the top rope. Say it with me: it gets two. Orton does his stomp to continue boring us to pieces for two.

Randy sets for the spear but Shane gets a spear to take him down. Chair time as he hits Orton in all the spots that Orton uses for the stomp which is a rather creative sequence actually. And now we see two idiotic things to end this match: Shane sets for a Punt as Orton is getting up but Orton pops up with an RKO to end it. One: WHY WOULD YOU CHARGE AT ORTON WHEN HE’S CROUCHED DOWN? Two: an RKO ends this after Legacy, two crashes through tables from the top rope, a huge beating from Orton and shots with weapons don’t end this? Think the RKO is a bit strong by comparison?

Rating: C+. This was fun and a good hardcore match, but running at over 18 minutes and with the ridiculous amount of stuff Shane got up from, this was a bit much. It’s definitely ok but it needed about five minutes cut out and one of the big spots, probably the superplex, cut out to really make this high quality.

Orton’s ankle from the chair shot keeps him from punting Shane.

Mania ad which is for the 25th show, which isn’t the 25th anniversary. Make that a LONG ad for Mania.

ECW Title: Finlay vs. Jack Swagger

Swags has the title here of course. Christian would come back soon to really get the title going but for now we have this still. You can literally see people heading to get popcorn and drinks as Swagger comes out. Horny helped Finlay break Swagger’s undefeated streak so there’s your reason for this match. Ok, apparently Christian is already back. That came out of nowhere.

Finlay works on the knee but has his shoulder rammed into the post. The fans aren’t exactly impressed. Shoulderbreaker gets two. The fans are more or less openly booing this now. Swagger hammers on the arm as Finlay is in trouble. He gets a move that doesn’t really have a name but Christian has done it before. You set for a reverse DDT but drive the other guy’s back into a knee.

Swagger charges at Finlay in the corner but the Irish dude gets a rolling cradle for one as he couldn’t get the shoulders down. Swagger puts Finlay on the top but they get down without anything of note happening. Crowd is mostly dead but not quite. Here comes Horny again for no apparent reason. Cross body off the middle rope gets two for Finlay. Celtic Cross is set up but for absolutely zero reason at all, Horny gets on the apron (he’s called a child again despite having abeard). Finlay is rammed into him and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this.

Rating: D. Weak match and no one bought Finlay as having a chance with Christian being back now. Horny being up there like that made zero sense at all unless they’re trying to make him out to be a child which is rather stupid as HE HAS A BEARD. Why am I trying to figure out Leprechaun facial hair? Match was kind of there.

Shawn is getting ready. We recap the feud with him and JBL. The idea was that Shawn had spent a lot of his money from his high period and now can’t afford to send his kids to college and various other things. You know, because being one of the top guys in WWE pays jack apparently.

Anyway, JBL hired him to help him get the world title going into Mania but Shawn only kind of helped him at the Rumble (he superkicked JBL and Cena) so JBL isn’t happy. Bradshaw made a proposal: they have a match at the PPV where if Shawn wins he gets a full payoff and is free and clear. If JBL wins, he owns the rights to Shawn’s name, likeness and royalties, including the HBK stuff. Kind of obvious who’s winning but the buildup was really good and JBL was as good as he ever was here.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Had it not been for Taker having nothing else to do but have one of the best matches ever with Shawn at Mania, I really would have liked to see this as JBL vs. Shawn for the title instead. There’s the bell and we’re off and running. JBL powers him into the corner and yells about how it’ll only take one mistake. Shawn finally goes after JBL and the fight is on.

Bradshaw hits the floor for a bit to hide and that gets him absolutely nowhere. Shawn grabs a chair but can’t do it so he hammers away instead. Back in and Bradshaw catches him for a bit. Backslide gets two and here comes the control by Bradshaw. Shawn takes out the knee and gets a Figure Four but JBL is right next to the ropes so it doesn’t mean much.

Crossface goes on which they won’t call by name. The elbow drops begin with JBL looking over at Shawn’s wife who is here. She’s pretty but less British than I expected. Bradshaw hammers him down in the corner and we hit the bearhug. They try to explain the whole Shawn is broke thing but at the end of the day, Shawn makes a big fat paycheck for being a major star in WWE and it’s not like he doesn’t have a job. Just odd as it’s not like he’s out of wrestling when this started.

Shawn gets out of the hold and gets an atomic drop to take over again. Make it a pair. They fight it out on the ropes and down goes JBL. The elbow misses though as Cole channels his inner JR: “Can a man that has always been in the eye of the storm become the storm itself?” Sure why not. Clothesline from JBL hits for two to almost no reaction as the ending is that clear.

The second clothesline hits but Shawn gets to the floor to save his copyright rights. Shawn is barely in at 9 which is impressive as he didn’t move until 7. Bradshaw throws him back to the floor out of frustration it seems. Who would have thought this was one of the feature matches on a PPV 10 years prior? It would have been a tag wrestler against a guy so hurt he couldn’t walk.

JBL goes eviler and goes after Shawn’s wife, ticking him off to no end and I think you can figure it out from here. His wife throws in a shot for good measure. Back in there’s the forearm and a very fast nipup. The elbow hits this time and the band is tuned up. For once that hits completely clean and Shawn wins a bunch of money.

Rating: C. The match was fun but at the same time there wasn’t much here. JBL isn’t the kind of guy that can put on a classic for the most part and Shawn didn’t do much here for the most part, although I’d think that’s more due to his opponent than Shawn himself. It’s definitely not bad, but it was kind of underwhelming and everyone knew the ending that was coming. Still fun though.

Another ad for Mania. Think they’re pushing this one kind of hard?

Jericho says he’ll win and then is going to challenge Flair to a title match at Mania. Ok never mind no he isn’t.

The Chamber is lowered again.

Raw World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is out first to a pretty decent pop and is the reigning champion coming in. This is easily the high point of Knox and his beard of awesome. Kane is your jobber of the day here as he’d never win a world title right? Now we get to the meat of the match as Kofi comes out and Edge jumps him, taking his place in the match. I’ll get to the big problem with this at the end. Also the winner is pretty clear now isn’t he? A Conchairto ends Kofi and Edge jumps into his pod.

Rey comes down to help Kofi as Jericho is out so we’ll start with them. They already had that epic feud over the IC Title so there’s automatic history here. Both guys fight for control and Rey can’t get a 619. Rey gets a flip over the ropes and the beating is on. Rey takes a HARD shot into the glass. Mysterio steals the Spiderman spot from RVD and gets a rana and seated senton to take over.

Kane is in third and goes right for Rey. Jericho tries to jump Kane and it gets him nowhere. Rey fights with what he can but there’s only so much he can do against a guy the size of Kane. Rey manages to get both of them in position for the 619 but Kane pops up to stop him. Rey, the superhero that he is, manages to get the big man down and get the area code move (he’s screwed if that ever changes). Jericho adds a Codebreaker for no cover as Lawler is criticizing them too. A seated senton off the top of a pod gets rid of Kane. Was there a need to take out Jericho first though? Anyway Kane is gone.

In fourth is Knox who is evil because he felt like being evil. There was something so refreshing about that and I loved it. He doesn’t really have a point to beating on Rey. He just kind of likes it. Simple but effective. Jericho sends him out to the cage but the springboard cross body doesn’t work at all. Rey gets caught in a Tree of Woe in the cage which is kind of a cool visual.

Knox is a generic big man but he does the job pretty well. He tries to set Rey for his finisher back in the ring but Jericho grabs a Codebreaker for the pin to get us to the final four. That one I can understand as Jericho had an opening and Mike had one arm free instead of two so it was more taking an opening rather than saving Rey. Anyway Edge is in fourth.

Rey goes right after him and the beating is on. Jericho gets both guys down and can kind of pick his spots. Lionsault to Rey gets knees and an Edge-O-Matic gets two on Jericho. Spear misses Rey and the Codebreaker misses Edge. Jericho stops the 619 to Edge for no apparent reason other than hatred of Mysterio I suppose. Tower of Doom spot as Jericho gets a sunset bomb on Edge out of the corner as Edge hits a release German on Rey, who is more or less dead.

Here comes Cena and Edge does his best Vince imitation as he turns around to meet him. Cena goes off on everyone but mainly focuses on Edge. Various moves take down just about everyone as Cena is ALL fired up. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge as it’s all Cena. FU to Edge is blocked by a Codebreaker to Jericho. 619 to Cena sets up the spear from Edge and CENA IS GONE!!! Edge is totally shocked that he finally pinned Cena.

It’s Rey vs. Jericho vs. Edge once the match gets going again after more or less stopping cold after that. Rey sets for a 619 to both Canadians but Edge gets out of the way. Jericho grabs the Walls but is rolled up by Rey to get us down to one on one for the title. Spear eats turnbuckle and Rey gets a rollup for two and a BIG reaction from the crowd which is totally into this.

Rey gets that soccer style kick to the side of the head for another long two. The announcers talk about the show vs. show thing which is rather stupid but we’ll just go with it as they insist it’s a big and important thing or whatever. Rey gets his fourth long two off a tornado DDT. Rey goes for some kind of a springboard move but Edge kicks him in the face to put him back down.

Powerbomb on the cage can’t hit as Rey counters into a facejam on the cage. FREAKING OW MAN! Rey modifies the 619 to kick Edge in the back of his head. In a SICK spot, Rey charges at Edge but gets launched into the air and into the glass which he literally bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN PART DEUX THE SEQUEL WITH MOST OF THE ORIGINAL CAST GONE AND A WEAKER STORY THAT IS RIDING ON THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL! Spear ends it as Rey is mostly dead already.

Rating: A-. Another great match here, but this is what I hated about it that I mentioned earlier on: Edge was distraught about losing his world title two and a half hours ago so he goes out and wins another. What could have been a big devastating loss for Edge that gave him something to do for a few months as he tries to get the title back is thrown away as he now has the OTHER world title and is just fine for it. It makes it seem like the world title is easily replaceable which isn’t what it should be at all. Anyway, the match was very fun and the crowd was into it the whole time, making this an excellent match.

Highlights and Edge’s celebration take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. With two matches that are very good for the titles and three others that are all not bad, it’s hard to say this wasn’t a great show. The show was based around those two matches and with both of them delivering how do you really argue this one? Yeah the other stuff is kind of weak, but the selling points of this show worked so what else can you ask for really? Good stuff and it flew by in the good sense of the term.

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 5, 1999: Wrestling? In The Attitude Era?

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 1999
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,666
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s, shall we say, interesting choice for a post Wrestlemania show, we continue down the road into Vince Russo’s psychosis, meaning things could get very interesting in a hurry. The main story seems to be Big Show aiding Austin in the battle against Vince and the Corporation. Other than that, Undertaker is starting to act more and more Santaly. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vince and Stephanie being terrified about what Undertaker has become, along with a recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

This is due to Kane answering an opening challenge last night and Pac coming down to help him, only to nearly get chokeslammed for his efforts. Pac and Owen get things going fast until Pac takes him down with a spinwheel kick. Off to Jarrett who takes a flipping clothesline but makes a blind tag to Owen for a spin kick of his own. A hard whip into the corner takes Pac down and a suplex gets two.

X-Pac rolls through a cross body out of the corner for two as we’re told Shane McMahon will be refereeing the Backlash main event. Jarrett grabs a sleeper but gets suplexed down to give Pac a breather. Owen comes in but misses a middle rope elbow and gets clotheslined down, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. House is cleaned and Kane slams X-Pac onto Jarrett for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Yeah Russo LOVED his wacky tag team partners. Nothing much to see here but getting the titles off of Hart and Jarrett was the right idea. They’re both good but man alive were they an uninteresting team. The only thing they had was Debra and she would be able to get over with or without anyone. It wasn’t terrible but you can see the division dying.

The McMahons are in the back and Vince says he’s staying with Stephanie all night long. Shane tells the Corporation that their mission tonight is to take care of Big Show and Austin.

X-Pac celebrates and doesn’t know where Kane is. He doesn’t care though as long as Kane is there when he needs to be.

Here’s the Corporation with something to say. Rock still has the Smoking Skull belt. Shane shows us a clip from the end of last week’s show, including Big Show saving Austin from the Corporation. Tonight it’s Big Show vs. Rock/HHH in a very special handicap match. HHH talks some generic trash while Rock makes fun of Big Show and threatens to break off both his feet inside Big Show. Rock puts on the Smoking Skull belt with Shane insisting we get a closeup of the title. During the night, Shane is going to put that picture on the screen at his whim because Shane McMahon says so.

Post break Shane explains what he did to Vince because Vince and Stephanie aren’t watching the show. So why are they even here tonight other than for plot advancements? Vince recommends that Shane chill.

Here’s Ivory with something to say. She wants to know if it’s always that time of the month for PMS because they’re always cramping her style. Ivory knows that Jackie can back up her words but what about Terri? How about she comes out here right now and prove how tough she is. PMS comes out but Jackie lets Terri do this on her own. Ivory rips Terri’s shirt off to reveal the puppies, but the lights go out as the Ministry is here.

Taker says he knows McMahon is watching with his daughter by his side, so wrap your arms around her and give her Taker’s regards. Tonight, there will be a sacrifice in the form of a beautiful young woman who will be taken from her family and break her dad’s heart.

Vince is in the back with cops but demands that Patterson go find more security. He thinks he might have to give Taker what he wants which Shane doesn’t like.

Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title meaning it’s under regular rules. They pound each other in the back of the head to start as the lack of weapons makes this sound a bit uninteresting to put it mildly. Out to the floor Snow isn’t allowed to use a chair and Holly takes over, only to be told he can’t use the chair either. Back in and Holly hits a dropkick but stops to pose instead of covering.

A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Al but Holly misses a charge into the corner. Snow pops up to the top for a high cross body for two of his own. The Snow Plow doesn’t work and Holly takes him down with a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as the second Snow Plow is good for the pin on Hardcore.

Rating: D. Here’s a good example of what happens when you have gimmick characters: when you take away the gimmick, there’s no reason to care about either guy. Holly was just a regular guy here and Snow didn’t get to do any of the insane stuff that he used to get over. Nothing to see here at all.

Steve Williams and Jim Ross run in to beat down Snow and Holly.

Shane puts the Smoking Skull belt on the screen.

Undertaker has the Ministry hold Christian for a flogging due to him telling Shamrock where Stephanie was last week.

New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Gangrel

Billy takes Gangrel down with an ugly dropkick to start before cranking on the arm and bringing in the Dogg. Roadie shrugs off some attempts at cheating and gets two off the shaky knee on Edge. The Brood cheats again and Gangrel gets two off a DDT. There’s a double hiptoss to Dogg and Edge gives Billy some pelvic thrusts.

We hit the chinlock from Edge and a knee to the ribs puts Dogg down again. A nice looking double suplex gets two on Dogg but he rolls away from a flying Edge out of a Rocket Launcher. The hot tag brings in Billy as everything breaks down. Christian hobbles down to the ring and gets sent into the ring for a Fameasser, giving Billy the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another mess with the ending being Russo 104. I’m not sure when Edge and Christian will finally dump Gangrel and team up to become legends but it needs to happen soon. Gangrel is just there and it’s pretty annoying to see him take up a spot from a more talented guy. The Outlaws are still way over though so a rub won’t hurt the Brood at all.

Austin threatens to cost the McMahons a lot of money if they keep showing the Smoking Skull belt on the Titantron.

Recap of the Stephanie kidnapping from last week.

Ken Shamrock vs. Viscera

Ken goes right at Viscera and is promptly thrown to the ground. A cross body goes about as well with Viscera falling on top for two. Shamrock comes back with kicks and an impressive belly to belly suplex but there go the lights and here comes the Ministry for the no contest.

Shamrock is captured and beaten down with right hands and a Bradshaw powerbomb. Undertaker and Paul Bearer are watching from the aisle like true evil masterminds should. Shamrock is dragged away through the crowd.

Shane won’t let the Corporation go after Shamrock because it could be a trap.

Shamrock is thrown into a trunk and driven away.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Amazingly enough these two would fight on PPV. Mankind does a creepy imitation of Val’s hello ladies by saying hello Long Island while bragging about being on the cover of Newsday. The fans are entirely behind the hometown man(kind) as he runs over Venis with a forearm to the head. Venis bails to the floor but has to run away before Foley can drop the elbow. Venis comes back with right hands in the corner but Foley comes back with a spinebuster.

Jerry and Cole are talking about some conspiracy about ESPN and ABC lying about the WWF in some story for the sake of pushing Monday Night Football. Mankind misses a charge and lands on the floor for a baseball slide from Val. The Money Shot is broken up and there’s the Claw, only to have Venis fall off the top and out to the floor. Back in and the double arm DDT sets up Socko for the win.

Rating: C-. This is the ultra rare clean finish in the Attitude Era with Foley getting the relatively easy win over someone that had no business beating him. Oddly enough, that’s something you don’t seen enough in today’s rigidly structured WWE. The match was nothing special but the fans were going nuts for Foley to make it better.

The lights flicker in Vince’s office.

The Ministry has a huddle in the middle of the hallway.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Goldust

Goldie is defending. Godfather offers him the girls but Goldust is too freaky so Godfather opts to just beat him up instead. The champion comes back with a shoulder block before bailing to be near the girls. Back in and Godfather gets two off some elbow drops before hitting the Ho Train, only to be tripped up by the Blue Meanie. Goldust and Godfather brawl to a lame double countout to the collective disinterest of the audience.

Vince’s lights flicker again before going out. A lot of shouting is heard and Stephanie screams.

Here’s the Ministry dragging someone under a blanket and tying them to Undertaker’s symbol. We cut to the back to see Stephanie with Vince and the sacrifice is……..Ryan Shamrock. Undertaker promises to make Stephanie one of them due to the wishes of the higher power. Vince shouts into the camera for Undertaker to stay away from Stephanie.

HHH/The Rock vs. Big Show

HHH comes out to the DX music because that’s the kind of jerk he is. Rock again gets annoyed when the fans keep singing long with his catchphrases, including when he telling them this is NOT sing-a-long with the Rock. There are tags required here so it’s HHH being headbutted into the next county to start.

A big backdrop puts HHH down so it’s off to Rock who gets a headbutt of his own. Back to the Game who walks into a backbreaker but gets up a boot to the face in the corner. HHH tries to pound away but gets slammed down with ease. Rock comes back in with right hands but gets caught by the throat, drawing in Chyna for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just there for the Big Show to treat Rock and HHH like a moderate size Japanese city. As usual, the match here was little more than a backdrop to set up the post match stuff but to be fair, you can’t put Show over here so let Big Show look good before getting beaten down.

Post match Show is beaten down and hit with the People’s Elbow, drawing out Austin (thankfully in BLUE jeans this week). Rock still escapes with the Smoking Skull belt. Shane puts the shot of the belt up on the screen again and that’s it for Austin. He and Big Show charge up the ramp but stop before going through the curtain.

Austin instructs Big Show to pull the Titantron down……AND HE DOES IT! Austin sneaks under the tron and slices through the screen. This blew my mind as a kid, even though it’s clearly slight of hand now. Austin destroys the screen with a pole to end the show. Cole calls the screen the crown jewel of the company. Just go with it people.

Overall Rating: C. This was better as the insanity was still there but in smaller doses. There was some actual focus on the in ring action and some build to the PPV as well. For this era, that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Austin getting involved with the rest of the Corporation feud instead of just Rock and Vince is a nice change. We can also head up to the Higher Power stuff too which should be interesting when you know what’s coming.

 

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Impact Wrestling – September 26, 2013: Dixie vs. Hulk. Seriously.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 26, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from the biggest show of the year and somehow the top heel is Dixie Carter. Bully Ray is busy with the rejects known as Aces and 8’s while AJ Styles is being called Mr. Marginal by a woman famous for having a husband named Surge and tweeting a lot. But remember, everything is FINE in this company. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap of last week’s events.

Dixie Carter arrives and blows Sting off, basically telling him to stay out of her business.

Here are Bully and Brooke to get things going. Bully says it’s not easy to take the words out of his mouth but Dixie did it last week. He’s been up every night wondering how he can beat AJ Styles since AJ won the Series. Now it doesn’t matter though as Dixie is inside AJ’s head. AJ should be kissing the ground Dixie walks on for making him phenomenal. Ray stops to ask if we know who he is and here are the remaining Aces and 8’s.

Knux does the talking and says the same thing he said last week: Ray needs to stop thinking about his ho and start thinking about his bros. Ray says he’s the president and the rest of their patches should just say lackey. They need to fall in line and remember what he did to the former members of this club. Tonight it’s Main Event Mafia vs. the three of them and if an Ace loses, they’re out of the club.

Joseph Park is shaving while singing Sweet Caroline when Eric Young and ODB come in. Eric says Park needs to use a safety razor to prevent the civilians in the back.

Bro Mans/Gail Kim vs. ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park

This is a result of Robbie getting beaten by both Young and Park in a combined 12 seconds last week. The girls start but it’s off to Robbie vs. Joseph before there’s any contact. Robbie can’t slam Joseph so Park slams him down for one instead. Jesse and Gail slow Joseph down before the Mans send him into the buckle. Jesse hits a good looking dropkick and avoids a seated senton from the big man. Robbie’s middle rope elbow gets two but Park comes back with something resembling a Samoan drop.

The referee misses the hot tag to Eric and it’s Gail in to get in some cheap shots. Back to the guys who are clotheslined down by Joseph, allowing for the hot tag to Eric for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and ODB sends Gail to the ramp. Robbie pulls back to hit ODB so she shoves his face into her chest. Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on Jesse, setting up a middle rope splash from Park, a top rope elbow from Eric and a splash from ODB for the pin at 6:26.

Rating: D. WAY too long here for the story they were telling as there was nothing going on out there. Park cleaned house, Park got beaten down, Park made the hot tag, ODB breast joke, pin. Somehow that took nearly seven minutes to get through. I’m over the in your face comedy stuff with ODB, Park and Young but they’re clearly not going anywhere.

Austin Aries says he’ll explain his future plans in the ring.

Hulk Hogan says he’ll fix everything.

Here’s Aries with something to say. He says it was just a year ago when he was headlining Bound For Glory and even though he’s not doing that this year, he’s still the main eventer. This brings out…..Kenny King? Kenny says he’s tired of hearing everything Aries is talking about when it was Kenny King making headlines last year when he became X-Division Champion. Then the headlines changed to King being ripped off by Frail Sabin. He was ready to get his belt back but then someone got in the Manik costume and stole the X-Division Title.

That would be Austin Aries, who hasn’t been the future or Generation Next (ROH reference) in about ten years. Now it’s Kenny King’s time but Aries cuts to the chase by saying he’s ready right now. King says that just like Hilary Clinton says before she takes her clothes off, “you don’t want none of this”, before decking Aries. Austin fights him off and says let’s do it right now so here’s a referee. Aries doesn’t wait and dives at King on the ramp to start the match after a break.

Austin Aries vs. Kenny King

Back with Aries pounding away on the floor before heading back inside, only to be taken down by a leg drop and caught with a jumping elbow in the corner. King is busted open BAD, likely off something on the floor. Aries comes back with chops and an atomic drop before rolling over King’s back to set up a release STO. The pendulum elbow but King spins out of the brainbuster. Aries loads up the 450 but King comes back with a super Tazplex for two. Austin shrugs it off and hits the running dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine with both guys getting to show off a bit out there. I’m getting curious as to what Aries is going to do at the PPV as he really doesn’t have anything going on right now, though that could be said about a lot of big names. King could be worth something in the X-Division if there was enough competition to fight him.

Lei’D Tapa is coming. It still should have been Ivelisse.

Chris Sabin brags to Austin Aries about being greater than the greatest man that ever lived. Velvet still looks uncomfortable. Sabin and Velvet leaves and Aries says he’d like to test Sabin’s theory.

We recap the end of Ray/Aces and 8’s from earlier.

The Mafia is getting ready but Magnus is frustrated by EGO. Sting tells him to calm down and focus on the bikers tonight.

We get a quick recap of AJ vs. Dixie from last week.

Here’s Hogan to make everything better while also taking a bunch of money and not really improving anything. Hogan talks about being here for about four years now and being GM, meaning he’s in charge of the day to day operations of this show. You never air your dirty laundry in public, and that’s what’s happening with Dixie and AJ. The fans seem to think AJ Styles should stick around and Hogan wants AJ out here to hear that himself. No one comes out so Hogan says we’ll do this later.

Kurt Angle is back at BFG.

Someone named ETHAN is coming.

X-Division Title: Manik vs. Chris Sabin

Manik is defending and gets a quick two off a cross body. Sabin jumps over him in the corner but goes down grabbing his knee. Sabin limps around the ring and leans on Velvet for help, allowing Manik to become the stupidest man in wrestling by falling for it. The distraction lets Sabin pop up to the apron and kick Manik in the face to take over. Back in and Manik jumps over Sabin in the corner before putting on something like a Sharpshooter’s mentally disabled cousin.

A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Chris before Manik busts out kicking combination #6 and a standing flip attack gets two. Velvet’s distraction lets Chris get two off a rollup but Manik catapults Chris into the corner. Back to the same leg lock from earlier from the champion but Chris reaches out for the ropes, only to grab Velvet’s hands. He drags her inside but the distraction lets Manik counter a rollup into a pinning combination for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: C+. I just don’t get the appeal of Manik. He’s fine in the ring and does some nice stuff but I don’t get his popularity. The leg stuff was smart here and it furthered Sabin’s heel turn, but the match wasn’t much better than average. Also, wasn’t Jeff Hardy involved in this feud?

Sabin pounds on Manik until Aries makes the save. Velvet looks shocked at what Chris was doing.

Garrett Bischoff tells Aces and 8’s to keep it together. Knux is ready to go.

Kurt Angle is still back at BFG. That hasn’t changed in the last 20 minutes. Here’s the same video in case you were confused though.

EGO thinks they should be in the Hall of Fame and suggest they should make sure Magnus loses again tonight. Bad Intentions laughs maniacally but Roode just stares at them, refusing to join in. Daniels: “That’s how villains laugh. Come on Bobby.” Roode walks away. Funny stuff.

Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8’s

If the Aces lose, whomever loses the fall is gone. Magnus pounds away on Knux to start but Garrett comes in to be suplexed. Knux and Brisco immediately dive in for the save and everything breaks down. Cue EGO to beat up Magnus who is left holding his knee as, making it 3-2 for the time being.

Back with Sting still in trouble and Magnus not on the apron. Knux chokes on Sting a bit and it’s off to Brisco for a chinlock. Sting finally fights up and dropkicks Wes down and there’s the hot tag to Joe as the Aces are all taken down. The backsplash gets two on Brisco and everything breaks down. The Stinger Splash crushes the bikers and there’s the Clutch on Brisco for the submission at 10:07.

Rating: C. The match was ok but it illustrates the problem with the remaining bikers: even with an advantage they were trampled by a pair of former world champions. Why would anyone care if Brisco is gone? He’s done nothing at all and is just another lackey. The match was fine but the conclusion was never in doubt other than which Ace took the fall.

Post match Ray comes out and demands Wes’ cut but he won’t give it up. The fans chant NO, so Bully orders Garrett and Knux to take the cut off of Wes. They hesitate so Ray yells at them and lays out Wes himself with a clothesline and a piledriver. They’re told to take the cut off again or Ray will piledriver Brisco a second time. Knux and Bischoff begrudgingly do what Ray says. Bischoff holds the cut out to Ray but Bully wants Knux to hand it to him. Ray tells Knux to not let the people get in his head before handing him the cut. Knux and Bischoff pick up Brisco….and we need to watch Hogan walking in the back.

Hogan is in the ring to call out AJ with his double theme music. Hogan has a long term contract for AJ to sign but AJ doesn’t look happy. He picks up the pen and finally signs, saying he’s TNA’s. This brings out an overly smiley Dixie Carter who talks about why she signed Hulk. He was brought in to open doors and that’s exactly what he did. She’s very grateful but Hogan is just an employee. Dixie makes fun of AJ Styles’ accent and rips up the contract, telling AJ can get out of his ring.

AJ leaves so Dixie goes on a rant about how no one knows how tough she has it. She knows how tough it is because she’s in the 1% of people that get to make decisions like she does. Yes, they’re seriously going with this story. Hogan now has a week to fall in line and join Team Dixie or else.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show for the most part tonight as the middle of the BFG card is starting to come into focus. The elimination of an Ace is always a good thing as they’ve been around for about a year too long at this point. The Dixie/AJ/Hogan stuff makes me roll my eyes but at this point it’s hard to complain about anything not named Aces and 8’s. Decent, but not great show this week.

Results

ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park b. Bro Mans/Gail Kim – Splash to Jesse

Austin Aries b. Kenny King – Brainbuster

Manik b. Chris Sabin – Rollup

Main Event Mafia b. Aces and 8’s – Koquina Clutch to Brisco

 

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On This Day: September 26, 2002 – Smackdown: The Cure For The Common WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2002
Location: San Diego Sport Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and the last one for awhile I think. It’s the first show after Unforgiven and we have two main events here: Rey vs. Benoit vs. Angle and what I believe is the blowoff to Edge vs. Eddie in a No DQ match. This is the time when Smackdown was straight up awesome and Raw…uh…wasn’t. After a pretty weak Raw I just did this should be a nice breath of air. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Unforgiven where Stephanie was supposed to perform HLA (Hot Lesbian Action) with two good looking chicks but instead Eric made it be some fat chick who was Rikishi. Eric wound up getting a Stink Face.

Rikishi vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo beat Rikishi in a tag match last week by hitting him with a camera. He stalls to start (does that make sense?) and jumps Rikishi as they come back in. Chavo jumps into a choke though and Rikishi starts using the power. A knee blocks the splash in the corner and Chavo hammers away a bit. Rikishi hits the post and Chavo tries a Stinkface. Just guess how well that goes. Rikishi sets for one of his own but Chavo moves. The Banzai Drop gets knees and Chavo goes for the camera. It gets superkicked into his face and the Banzai ends this.

Rating: D+. This was fine. It closed whatever little story they had here and it gave them both something to do for two weeks. Little feuds like that used to be more common and they could be used more often. Not all the time or anything but for something quick like this it was fine.

Rikishi dances a bit.

Time for a bikini contest between Torrie and Nidia. Billy and Chuck are the judges for no apparent reason. Nidia is in sneakers of course and drops her gum which she puts back in her mouth. She gets a six from Chuck and a 9 from Billy. Hahaha. Torrie is her usual self and gets a perfect score. Billy and Chuck get in to congratulate Torrie and here are Noble and Tajiri to protest. Tag match ahoy!

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Billy and Chuck are in street clothes. What street that is I’m not sure. Adrian maybe? Billy and Tajiri get started. I don’t remember Tajiri being a heel but he and his partner go after Billy’s knee. Handspring elbow puts Billy down and a big kick gets two. Noble tries to cannonball down onto the leg but Billy kicks him to the floor. Billy still can’t tag as Tajiri knocks Palumbo to the floor. Noble hooks a unique leg lock on Billy’s bad knee.

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Rating: C. Fine match here and when you throw something together inside of 30 seconds that’s as good as you can ask for. Billy and Chuck had some good chemistry and it worked here. I miss random showdowns like these or the first match and they work pretty well most pf the time, especially when you have talented people in there.

Funaki (POP??) goes to talk to Brock. Funaki is terrified and asks if Taker gets a rematch. Brock says he’ll answer it in the ring, which excites Funaki way too much.

Stephanie is in her office when Kurt comes in. Angle talks about how great things are with the whole Bischoff thing. He wants a rematch with Benoit and Steph says she has a different idea for the main event. Rey pops in and Angle makes a child labor law joke. Triple threat is made with Benoit being added in.

Here’s Funaki for the interview with Brock. Funaki comes out with the chair that Taker half killed Lesnar with at the PPV. He asks Brock about the chair and Brock isn’t happy. Funaki tries to defend himself and the beating is great. The belly to belly literally had Funaki sailing through the air in a free fall. I miss the F5.

Torrie is in the back and Dawn Marie makes fun of her. Is there a point to this?

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ here. My goodness was Edge over at this point. Eddie takes over quickly as they go fast paced. Edge is cool with that and a monkey flip sends Eddie into the ropes. Eddie gets in a shot and a slingshot guillotine for two. The crowd is way into this too. Off to an armbar by the Canadian but Eddie hits an enziguri to take over. Off to a chinlock by Eddie but Edge reverses and hits a scoop powerslam to break the momentum.

Edge goes up but gets caught in a superplex for two. Eddie knocks him to the floor but Edge finds a ladder. Oh dear. The referee goes down via a ladder shot and Eddie pops Edge with a chair. Not that it matters due to the rules but it’s such an Eddie thing to do. A chair shot to the ribs keeps Edge down but the Frog Splash misses. Everyone is down and we take a break.

Back with Eddie stomping Edge down in the corner. There’s a sleeper by Eddie as the referee that took the ladder shot is carried out. Gee I’m certainly glad he got his care in due time. Edge got a very long two off a spear during the break. He goes up again but Eddie snaps off a rana (leg scissors according to Cole) to take over. Guerrero tries to run up the corner for another rana but Edge counters into a sitout powerbomb and both guys are down.

Edge brings in the ladder but Eddie dropkicks it into him. Eddie brings in a second ladder to sandwich Edge between a pair of them. A slingshot hilo looks to have killed the Canadian but since he can’t immediately cover it only gets two. Eddie climbs a ladder and Edge goes after him. After Guerrero rams Edge’s head into the ladder a few times, it’s a PERFECT sunset bomb to kill Edge even more. That looked AWESOME.

Somehow it only gets two. The crowd is way into it as they certainly should be. Eddie sets Edge in front of the ladder in the corner but his charge is countered into a backdrop into the ladder and both guys are down again. They go up to a ladder in the other corner and Edge slams Eddie’s head into the top of the ladder just like Eddie did a few moments before. He loads up an Edgecution and KILLS Eddie with a DDT off the ladder into the middle of the ring for the pin to finally end this.

Rating: A. And this is why Smackdown is better than Raw in 2002. This was about a BRAWL and two guys destroying each other rather than “how many times can we have Flair save HHH’s title while he has the same boring match over and over again”. Great stuff and the fans loved it the whole way through.

Eddie gets a standing ovation as he leaves.

Benoit is congratulated by that idiot Marc Lloyd for his great win on Sunday. Benoit: “YOU SUCK!” That was awesome, but he’s only talking about what the fans chant at Angle. He says he’ll win tonight.

Matt Hardy brags to Shannon Moore about making Undertaker run away. Shannon points out the Lesnar factor in that but Matt takes full credit for it. Matt leaves and Brock is watching.

Video on Wrestlemania which is coming to Seattle.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Matt offers a handshake which Taker accepts, although he uses it to whip Matt into the corner. Let the pain begin. Matt gets in a few shots but tries a Twist of Fate which just ticks the big man off. Chokeslam kills Hardy but it’s the Last Ride that gets the pin. Just s squash.

Lesnar runs in post match and blasts Taker with the belt. A second shot keeps Taker down and he’s busted open.

Taker is stumbling around in the back and looking for Lesnar.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Christ Benoit

Before the others come out, Kurt implies Rey is an illegal alien. Apparently most of San Diego is also. Brawl to start with Rey jumping all over the place. Rana gets a fast two on Benoit. Kurt throws him to the floor though so the amateur guys can go to the mat. In a funny bit, Rey tries to get back in but Kurt knocks him back and heads to the mat again with Benoit.

Ankle lock is countered quickly and Rey is back in. This is one of those matches that is going way too fast to keep up with. Angle is knocked to the floor and Benoit hits a belly to back for two on Rey. Mysterio is pretty much brand new at this point so his legs are still in one piece. Well one piece per leg that is. Mysterio is sent outside and Angle comes back in to take over again.

Benoit and Angle have their usual intense and back and forth mini-match with the Canadian hitting Rolling Germans on the American. Angle Slam takes Benoit down but Rey pops up with a missile dropkick to steal a cover on Benoit, getting two. Angle pulls Rey to the floor but walks into another German so Chris can take over. Rey comes back in with another missile dropkick to knock Benoit to the floor. Kurt launches Rey to the floor but onto Benoit again.

The two bigger guys go at it even more and Benoit gets caught in an ankle lock. They go to the ropes and it’s a double 619. West Coast Pop to Angle is countered but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for two. Angle gets caught in the Crossface but Kurt escapes. When he kicks Chris off, Rey rolls him up for two. Benoit Germans Angle to the floor but gets caught in a spinning springboard West Coast Pop (NOT A LEG SCISSORS YOU IDIOT COLE!) for the pin on Benoit. That ending was awesome!

Rating: B+. Another great match here as this was the signature of Smackdown for about the next four months: guys going out there and having great fast paced matches where the young dudes got to tear the house down. They would add Edge into this at No Mercy and have the match of the year for the Smackdown tag titles. Great stuff here.

Overall Rating: A. The first part wasn’t great, but when you get two great matches on one show like this, it’s an automatic classic show. Smackdown was totally feeling it at this point while Raw just got worse and worse every passing month. Lesnar would turn face in a few months as for some reason Big Show got the title but that’s another story. Great show here and one of the better ones I can ever remember.

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NXT – September 25, 2013: A New Era In NXT

NXT
Date: September 25, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal

It’s finally the start of a new set of tapings meaning things will start changing around here again. The main story tonight is a major announcement to be made by HHH. Let’s get to it. They’ve got a long way to go to top how fun last week’s show but maybe they can go in a different direction this time around. Let’s get to it.

Tyler Breeze came in to see Brad Maddox earlier but CJ Parker interrupted them both. Apparently there’s going to be a a tag team turmoil match tonight for a future title shot. Naturally Parker and Breeze get teamed together.

Welcome Home.

Tag Team Turmoil

You know the drill here I’m sure: two teams start and the winning team advances to face whomever the third team is, last team standing wins. We start with Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore vs. Breeze/Parker. Enzo insists that every other team in this match is S-A-W-F-T, or as the crowd says, SAWFT! The fans think Breeze is gorgeous.

Regal says that Amore and Cassady have been banned from all Disney parks and Walt Disney is spinning in his fridge over it. Parker and Amore get things going with CJ busting out an airplane spin. CJ hits a pair of knees in the corner but stops to look at Breeze, allowing Cassady to come in for the spinning sitout Rock Bottom for the elimination at 1:20. Well that was quick.

Sylvester LeFort introduces Scott Dawson and Alexander Rusev as the next team. Dawson has a bad limp and the team is apparently called the Fighting Legionaries. Cassady starts with Dawson and the size difference is remarkable. Dawson gets taken down to the mat in a surprise move but it’s off to Rusev for the power battle. A quick Samoan drop puts the legal Amore in and it’s back to Dawson who sends Enzo into the corner. Dawson hits a big spinebuster to crush Amore but Enzo grabs a small package for the pin at 4:17 total.

Rusev destroys Amore and heeeeeeeeere’s Ascension. O’Brian cranks on Cassady’s neck after the break before it’s off to Victor to pound away. Rick pounds away in multiple corners but charges into an elbow to the jaw to give Cassady a breather. Not that it matters as O’Brian comes back in for a bunch of shoulder blocks. Cassady gets a big boot for two and it’s hot tag to Amore, only to have him walk into the flapjack and whatever Ascension calls Total Elimination for the final pin at 8:13 shown of 11:43.

Rating: C. Lack of Tyler Breeze aside, this wasn’t too bad. The fans are completely behind Amore and Cassady as a face act but Ascension running them over at the end is the perfect call. There isn’t much of a division at this point, but with just an hour a week what more can you ask for?

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Renee Young is on commentary as her takeover of WWE television continues. Summer Rae and those legs of hers are with Sasha here. Bayley takes Sasha into the corner and hits a chop to her delight. Sasha comes back with rapid fire chops to almost scare Bayley out of her boots. Bayley gets dropped face first out of the corner for two as it’s all Banks so far. We hit the chinlock as Regal hits on Renee.

A snap suplex gets two on Bayley but she comes back with forearms in the corner. Sasha comes back with a HARD overhand chop followed by an armdrag out of the corner. Bayley sends her into the corner and grabs the Hugplex (I didn’t name it that) for two. Not that it matters as Sasha hooks a double arm neckbreaker (think Sandow’s Terminus) for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but the fans are totally into Bayley’s starstruck stuff. Sasha is just another evil Diva but she has a nice presence in the ring to make up for it. The match was more about character development for Banks but Bayley helped get things to work as well as they did.

Renee thinks Sasha is evil for breaking Bayley’s headband because you don’t mess with another girl’s hair products. Summer says Fandango will be here next week. She and Sasha run things around here since Paige and Emma have been run off. Cue Emma to chase both girls off.

Aiden English sings about walking to the ring (“And all the while you get to hear me sing”) as the brilliance of such a simple idea continues.

Aiden English vs. Bull Dempsey

English grabs a quick headlock (“THE DAY IS MINE!”) and kicks Dempsey in the head for two. A legdrop sets up the Side Effect, which may be called Take a Bow, for the pin at 1:40.

The fans get the encore they demand.

Summer Rae challenges Emma to find a partner to meet herself and Fandango in a mixed tag.

El Local vs. Sami Zayn

The place pops BIG for Zayn. Local is of course Ricardo Rodriguez under a mask. The Ole chants begin at the bell as they trade wristlocks. Zayn comes back with some armdrags and Local is in trouble. A nice hurricanrana gets two on Local but he comes back with a clothesline into a backbreaker (as in Sami’s back landed on Local’s knee on the way down from the clothesline) for two of his own. Local hooks a chinlock but Sami comes back with the leg lariat and the running boot to the face for the pin at 2:58. Squash for Zayn.

Post match here’s Bo Dallas to say that he’s finally healed after Zayn injured him at Summerslam Axxess. He’s ready to put the title on the line in the Bo Dallas Invitational with anyone being welcome to enter. If anyone can pin him, they’ll get a title shot in three weeks. Wait is the invitational for the title or a title shot a few weeks later? Zayn says he’ll be the first to sign up and they can do it right now. Dallas says hold on a second because Sami isn’t eligible to enter.

Kassius Ohno comes in to see Brad Maddox and wants to know why he isn’t on NXT. Maddox says Kassius is a D+/C- talent, so Kassius suggests that he interrupt every match from now on. Brad blames it on “them”, but is threatened into a match with a member of the Wyatt Family next week.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement. He talks about how awesome people like Leo Kruger, Sami Zayn, Bo Dallas, Adrian Neville and Corey Graves are because they’re the future of WWE. However, there have been some issues lately with the Rhodes family, primarily with Dusty Rhodes.

See, Dusty is the GM of NXT and that might not be what’s best for business anymore. Therefore, Dusty has been given some time off and we have a new interim GM: John Bradshaw Layfield. JBL comes out in full on EVIL rich guy mode, telling the fans that this isn’t sing-a-long with the wrestling god so shut your mouths. He welcomes us to his era to end the show.

Rating: B. Another solid show from the boys in Florida here. The JBL as GM idea is perfect as Bradshaw is about as perfect as you can get for a villain when he’s in full heel mode. That’s a good change for the show and JBL could still be a good adversary for a number of people in NXT. Good show this week as NXT keeps rolling along.

Results

Ascension won tag team turmoil last eliminating Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore

Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Neckbreaker

Aiden English b. Bull Dempsey – Side Effect

Sami Zayn b. El Local – Running boot to the face

 

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Thought of the Day: One At A Time

So for the first time in forever I’m watching a WWE (Evolution of a Predator) and the DVD opens at Elimination Chamber.The narrator talks about how the Elimination Chamber is special because it only happens once a year.  Not only does it happen more than once a year, it happens more than once a night.  Just the sound of that on paper cuts down on how special the match should be.  Make it once a year or at least give us several months between each match.




Thought of the Day: WWE Is Rocking Right Now

Really, they are.They have great talent down in NXT, a solid (though confusing) main event storyline, part timers doing what they should be doing, John Cena and Sheamus waiting in the wings, and Punk/Heyman owning the world.  What more can you really ask for?

 

And cue everyone saying that WWE sucks.




Monday Night Raw – March 29, 1999: Did We Miss The Wrestlemania Turn Off?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 1999
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 15,213
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and the big story is Rock losing the WWF Title to Steve Austin. This will only serve to continue the war between Vince and Austin but at the same time we’re continuing Vince vs. Undertaker. We’re starting on the road to Backlash now which would be the final In Your House PPV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin’s road back to the title, including the beer truck attack from last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the new champion to open the show to an eruption, wearing black jeans for the only time I ever remember. Austin says he did exactly what he said he would do: head to Philadelphia, go up route 3:16 and burn the Smackdown Hotel to the ground. Now that we’ve got the sentimental crap out of the way, Austin thinks the WWF Title belt isn’t worth all the trouble and aggravation. He wants Vince out here right now so he can relinquish the belt.

Vince cautiously comes to the ring and after taking forever to come down the aisle, Austin hands him the belt like it’s no big deal. Vince goes to leave but Austin says it’s not that easy. Austin has some footage for Vince, which shows McMahon running away with the WWF Title at Breakdown and then taking the Smoking Skull belt with him as a trophy. Vince can have the belt but Austin is the WWF Champion and there’s nothing that can be done about that.

He wants Vince to bring the Smoking Skull belt back because that’s the one he wants. If Vince doesn’t have it back here in two hours, he’ll be getting the beating of his life. McMahon says no because that belt reminds him that he owns a piece of Stone Cold. Austin looks ready for a Stunner but Vince says if Austin attacks him without being provoked, Vince can fire him on the spot. Austin has another clip from last night, showing Vince stomping Austin down in the corner. That sounds like provocation to Austin, so the two hours are ticking away. Vince hits Austin in the back with the belt and runs away.

A lot of people arrive at the show.

Vince sends Stephanie to get the belt.

Sable/Jacqueline vs. Tori/Ivory

Sable is looking GREAT in a half shirt and some tiny shorts. This is a result of Jackie burning Ivory’s face with a cigar last night on Heat. Ivory jumps Jackie to start and there’s a giant swing for good measure. Off to Tori as Ivory chases Terri up the ramp for lighting another cigar. Sable is still holding the belt on the apron which she uses to clock Jackie in the back of the head. Tori gets the worst backslide ever for the pin.

Tori and Sable are about to brawl when the Ministry of Darkness interrupts. Sable can’t escape because there are ropes with huge gaps between them behind her. Taker says he wants to see what she’s got. Sable starts doing the grind so Taker grabs her by the throat. He says he’s got Vince’s meal ticket so he needs to get out here right now to save her.

Vince tells Shane to stay in the back with Stephanie while he takes care of this. Isn’t she supposed to be going to Connecticut? Vince comes out, drops the mic and then heads right back through the curtain. He sprints to the back, screaming for Stephanie but finding no daughter in the dressing room. Vince yells at Shane as we take a break.

Back from a break with Vince telling Shane not to call the cops and saying Stephanie must be in the parking lot. Instead of, you know, going to look for her, he walks around the dressing room. This is very interesting to see when you know what’s coming in the story.

Here’s a sullen X-Pac with something to say. He came back here a year ago because of a phone call from HHH saying DX was falling apart. Then last night HHH turned on him by making a choice. The Outlaws and X-Pac will be out here every week to tell Hunter to suck it until the day they die. HHH’s name may be Hunter, but tonight he’s the hunted. Nice line there.

Vince gets a call from Undertaker saying she really is sugar and spice and everything nice.

Big Show vs. Test

Big Show is freshly face after objecting to Vince yelling at him last night. A boot to the face sets up the chokeslam to end Test in about 30 seconds.

Big Show talks about how Vince is having some personal trauma right now, but Show doesn’t really care. Vince thought that he owned Big Show but no one owns him at all. It was Vince that said when Big Show got to the WWF, everything was going to change. Starting tonight, Vince is going to eat those words.

Vince sends Shamrock to find Stephanie.

Hardcore Title: Steve Williams vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly won the title back last week and is defending here as a result of accidentally breaking JR’s broadcast table a few weeks back. Williams pounds Holly into the corner to start but Holly comes back with kicks of his own. Steve comes back with a quick belly to belly suplex as JR gets on (Spanish) commentary to rant about wanting to go back to work. Williams goes after Holly’s leg, wrapping it around the post for good measure.

Nothing about this has been hardcore so far. A knee crusher has Holly in trouble but he comes back with a DDT before rolling to the outside. Here’s a table but Williams hits a quick powerslam to drive Holly through, only to take out the referee in the process. Cue Al Snow with a frying pan to lay out Williams to keep the title on Holly.

Rating: D. They managed to make a hardcore match boring. That’s really hard to do when you think about how insane some of these matches could be. The JR/Steve Williams stuff needs to wrap up soon as there’s just nothing interesting at all in there. People don’t want to boo JR and these heel turns never work for him.

The Rock vs. Billy Gunn

Shane joins commentary. Rock powers Billy into the corner and fires off right hands as Shane goes nuts. Billy comes back with a drop toehold and a dropkick before working on the arm for a bit. Rock slugs Gunn down as Shane tells everyone to focus. A suplex gets two for the Great One and there’s a Stun Gun to Gunn for two more. They head outside with Billy being sent into the barricade and Rock jumping on commentary, only to have Billy flash him for no apparent reason. Back in and Billy fires off some right hands, only to be caught in the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow (BIG ovation) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Rock’s face turn is imminent at this point for the same reasons it happened last time: you can’t hold that kind of charisma down. The other thing to remember is that Rock never really turned face in 1998. He just started fighting heels but still talked the same trash and acted arrogant before joining up with Vince and company. Billy Gunn continues to get on my nerves.

Shamrock says he’ll beat the information out of whomever he has to in order to get Vince’s baby girl back.

Austin watches the clock.

Ken Shamrock vs. Gangrel

Shamrock starts fast and wins a quick slugout with a clothesline. Gangrel comes back with a quick powerslam for two and a DDT for the same. Ken fires off a dropkick and demands to know where Stephanie is. He takes Gangrel to the floor and sends him into the steps before shoving the referee for getting in Shamrock’s way.

Gangrel is rammed into various objects but still says he doesn’t know where she is. Some whips into the steps soften Gangrel up a bit more before we head back inside for right hands and more interrogation. The fans get distracted by something so Shamrock stalls for a bit. The belly to belly sets up an ankle lock on Gangrel to end the massacre.

Rating: D+. This was much more of a match than an angle which makes it hard to grade. Gangrel was there as a warm body for Shamrock to beat on which is probably the best idea given his rather limited in ring skills. At least this short match had a purpose, unlike a lot of other stuff you’ll see around here.

Post match Edge and Christian come after Shamrock and the lights go out. Shamrock gets a blood bath but he grabs Christian by the ankle. He cranks on the hold until Christian says Stephanie is in the basement.

Post break Shamrock is in the basement to find the lost princess.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust

Feeling out process to start until Ryan Shamrock heads to the ring, only to be sent to the back by Blue Meanie. Roadie pounds Goldie into the corner before Goldust cranks on the champion’s arm. Road Dogg comes back with a rollup for two and we stop again. Shattered Dreams is blocked by the referee but Road Dogg goes after Blue Meanie for some reason. Meanie accidentally splashes Goldust and Road Dogg bulldogs Meanie into Goldust’s crotch. The juke n jive sets up the shaky knee drop, only to have to escape the Curtain Call. Meanie clocks Dogg with the belt, allowing the Curtain Call to connect for the title.

Rating: D. How in the world do you overbook a match that runs four minutes? Also I don’t get the mentality of having the title change here instead of doing it the night before at WRESTLEMANIA. These guys were the last two in the fourway last night, so why not give Goldie the title there? Nothing match which was WAY overdone.

Post match Goldust says that was a raging climax, which was the tagline of Wrestlemania last night. He says we’ll know something very soon, whatever that means.

Shamrock finds Stephanie crying with the Ministry mark on her forehead.

Stephanie cries on her dad’s shoulder. That’s a relief. It had been a full ten minutes since we saw Vince.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Legion of Doom

It’s a brawl to start of course with the LOD (flanked by Paul Ellering) cleaning house to start. Animal slams Jeff down for two and we’re ready to go. The fans call Owen a nugget but an Animal suplex quiets them down. Jarrett’s knee to the back allows Owen to kick Animal’s head off to take over before it’s off to Jeff. Animal comes back with a double clothesline and cleans house as Hawk finally comes in to help out. The Doomsday Device puts Owen down but there’s no referee. Jeff cracks the guitar over Hawk’s head and puts Owen on top to retain the belts.

Vince thanks Shamrock for his services and Shane has the Smoking Skull belt. Vince doesn’t care because this night is over. Shane is tasked with giving the belt back to Austin. They leave but Shane says tonight isn’t over.

X-Pac vs. HHH

Shane is out here with HHH, meaning odds are he didn’t give Austin the belt back yet. It’s a big brawl to start of course with HHH firing off right hands to take over. Pac comes back with some kicks and chops, only to be taken down by the knee to the face. Another kick to the face puts HHH down but he misses the Bronco Buster. The facebuster puts Pac down again but he comes back with a spinwheel kick and the flipping clothesline, but Pac wants to chase Shane. He runs right into a Chyna clothesline, drawing the fast DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing match again here as it’s barely long enough to rate. The DX split was fine as they had pretty much done all they could have done, but HHH wasn’t ready to go to that next level yet. Feuding with X-Pac didn’t help either as Pac was nothing more than a midcarder, but at least he was over so the fans cared.

Shane, HHH and Chyna beat X-Pac down post match until Kane makes the save. Shane actually goes after him but the distraction doesn’t help HHH all that much. Chyna’s distraction on the other hand lets HHH hit Kane in the head with a chair for not much effect.

Shane stays in the ring for the big closing number with Austin. He says they’re both champions and if Austin wants his belt, all he has to do is look around the waist of the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. Cue Rock with the title over his shoulder, making Shane look like a mean old liar. Rock gives Austin credit before changing his mind because there’s nobody (crowd: “NOBODY!” Rock: “Don’t do that.”) that can take this belt from him. He may have lost last night, but it took TWO Stunners to do it.

Cue Austin for the fight with Rock sending him into the announce table. They head back inside and there’s a Stunner for Shane, only to have Rock take him down again. The Skull belt to the head drops Austin and here’s HHH to help with the beatdown. Shamrock and Test are here as well but Big Show makes the save, allowing Austin to stand back while he cleans house. A chokeslam to HHH ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you didn’t know any better, odds are you wouldn’t know this wasn’t the show after Wrestlemania. What happened tonight? Austin vs. Rock and Undertaker vs. Vince continued, a midcard title changed hands, and we had two show long angles, only of which barely had a resolution at all. This could have been any given Raw after any given PPV, which is really hard to get accept the night after Wrestlemania. Not a bad show, but I was expecting something very different.

 

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