Impact Wrestling – September 12, 2013: What Happens When TNA Tries
Impact Wrestling Date: September 12, 2013
Location: Chaifetz Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It’s yet another special tonight with No Surrender, which is a pretty meaningless name since none of the matches have anything to do with surrendering or not surrendering. The card however is pretty big with the semifinals and I believe the finals of the BFG Series. Given hos screwed up this Series has been though, they might find a way to hold the finals of the Bound For Glory Series after Bound For Glory. We also have Anderson challenging Bully Ray for the world title. Let’s get to it.
We see the four finalists arriving before looking at a video of all four guys saying what this means to them.
We also get a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald about fighting families to hype up Anderson vs. Ray.
Here are Ray and Tessmacher to open things up. Ray talks about how his family haven’t been seeing eye to eye as of late and blames it on Hulk Hogan. This brings out Hogan in a blue shirt to talk about quivering livers and thanks SpikeTV for letting us have this big show for free. Hogan says Ray needs to be getting ready for his showdown with Anderson and not even think about Bound For Glory yet. Ray wants Anderson out here right now to say it to his face so here’s Ken, though he passes Hogan’s outstretched arm.
Ray says the Aces and 8’s are stronger than Hogan will ever been. All Anderson has to do is apologize and this all ends. Anderson says Ray is right and that he was out of line…..and he can’t wait to get out of line again tonight. He decks Ray to send him to the floor and says he’ll be the new world champion tonight. Hogan says the title match is a last man standing match for absolutely no apparent reason.
Bound For Glory Series Semifinals: Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles
It’s win or go home here as the points are officially a non-factor now. Feeling out process to start with Aries dropkicking AJ to the floor and dropping him with a top rope ax handle. Back inside and Aries misses a missile dropkick so AJ takes him down with a dropkick of his own. Aries bails to the floor but he avoids a slingshot plancha from AJ. Austin loads up the suicide dive but charges into an AJ forearm to put him down. They head back inside to fight over a suplex and we take a break.
Back with Aries still trying to hit the brainbuster but opting for some shots to the head instead. AJ comes back with some forearms and his AA into a backbreaker for two. Styles loads up the Clash but Aries grabs the rope to escape. Now the slingshot plancha takes Austin out but he manages to break up the Superman forearm, knocking Styles face first into the apron.
Aries loads up another suicide dive but AJ pops back in with the forearm, though Aries stopping in place so the move could connect looked bad. Another Styles Clash attempt is countered into a hurricanrana but AJ gets a boot up in the corner to block a running dropkick. That’s fine with Aries as he hits it in the other corner instead. AJ blocks the brainbuster again but just like the dropkick, the second attempt connects for two.
There’s the Last Chancery but AJ won’t tap so Aries pounds in knees to the head. AJ avoids the 450 but Aries lands on his feet. A running dropkick misses and Aries lands on the ropes, allowing AJ to hit the Pele to stun him. AJ goes to the ropes for a middle rope Styles Clash to send him to the finals at 15:38.
Rating: B+. This was FUN as both guys countered everything until Aries couldn’t get past the huge arsenal of Styles in the end. That middle rope Styles Clash looked great and there was no way he could kick out of it. Aries will have a big match at BFG and he’ll deserve it, but AJ was just a step better here.
Sting gives Magnus a pep talk and the Brit says he’s tired of being the future.
Bound For Glory Series Semifinals: Bobby Roode vs. Magnus
Roode gets a jobber entrance and Magnus is back in the shorts instead of the tights. Bobby must be ticked off at the lack of respect because he jumps Magnus from behind and takes it to the floor to send Magnus into the barricade. Back in and a quick belly to back suplex gets two for Roode and a regular suplex gets the same. We hit the chinlock as this has been one sided so far.
Back up and Magnus blocks an O’Connor Roll and takes Roode down with a forearm. He catches Roode diving off the ropes in a very modified Falcon’s Arrow for two but Roode goes to the eyes. There’s the spinebuster for two on Magnus but the Brit breaks up a superplex and hits the top rope elbow for two. Roode can’t hook the crossface and gets caught in a Texas Cloverleaf but Roode finally makes the rope. Back up and Magnus blocks a fisherman’s suplex into a jackknife cover for the pin at 7:00.
Rating: C. This was ok but nothing more than that. Magnus got beaten up too much in the beginning and it made the comeback better, but Roode tapping out would have been better. Magnus looked like he couldn’t win with a big move and had to steal a win instead of looking dominant. Still though, not bad and it got the job done.
Roode is freaking out when Bad Influence comes in to calm him down. Bobby blames Hogan and says if he can’t go to the finals, no one is.
Hogan gives Manik a pep talk. Manik wants a shot at Jeff Hardy tonight and his wish is granted. Dixie comes in and asks to talk to Hogan alone. Apparently Rampage and Tito are off the show for fear of the November 2 PPV getting messed up.
Ray doesn’t know what’s happening to Aces and 8’s but he thinks the cronies want Anderson to be President and world champion. He yells at Knux, Brisco and Bischoff, saying he did everything and brought Anderson into the fold. Ray thinks they’ll do the right thing and hopes they feel the same way about him.
We recap Anderson vs. Ray, which is due to Ray blaming Anderson for losing the title to Sabin. Ray then said Tito Ortiz was the only man he needed and Anderson was annoyed at Ray acting like a dictator.
TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray
Last man standing with Ray defending. Anderson jumps Ray on the ramp to start and takes Ray into the ring for a whip into the corner. The champion is sent back to the floor as this is one sided so far. Ray is sent into the announce table and barricade so he hides behind Christy, complete with Hemme’s top opening (it’s similar to Lita’s outfits in the Rated R Superstar era) but the power of tape saving her.
Bully gets in a cheap shot and sends Anderson into the steps before asking Brooke for a chair. It takes forever to get there and Anderson gets in a shot to the ribs to take the chair away. He blasts the champion in the back and pounds him back into the ring. Ray goes up but gets hit low, allowing Anderson to hit a rolling senton. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Anderson here and him telling himself to get the tables makes them cheer even louder. Even Tenay is cheering for Anderson.
Ray takes him down with a boot to the face and gets in a chair shot of his own. The table is set up in the corner as we take a break. Back with Ray yelling at Hebner but Earl yells right back at him, looking like a heart attack is imminent. Ray shoves him into the buckle to knock him out but walks into a Mic Check onto the chair to lay him out. There’s no referee though so Ray gets up and hits a Bully Cutter to lay both guys down.
Cue Bischoff, Brisco and Knux to stare at Ray before stalking Anderson. Before they touch him, Brooke comes in with a low blow. Ray bosses them around and a Shield TripleBomb lays Anderson out. Ray helps Hebner up but Anderson is up at nine. Anderson comes back with right hands but Ray drops him. Why the referee isn’t counting Anderson when he’s down is anyone’s guess. Ray knocks Anderson out with the chain, drawing blood. Anderson makes it up to his feet AGAIN but staggers in front of the table in the corner. A spear through the table is enough to retain the title at 17:30.
Rating: B. This match did something that is the best sign you can have in wrestling: they had me believing that something was possible when there was no way it was going to happen. The crowd was WAY into Anderson here and that’s a good sign for TNA. They need some fresh blood at the top and it’s been awhile since Anderson was up there. Good stuff here but the crowd carried a lot of it.
Anderson is taken out on a stretcher but Ray chases him down and rips the cut off his back. A piledriver on the stage gets rid of Anderson, probably until BFG.
ODB is excited about the change to be Knocked Up Champion next week.
Here are Storm and Gunner with something to say. Storm wants to drink and Gunner wants to fight so why not do both things? James wants some opponents so here are Chavo and Hernandez. Chavo talks about how Storm is the second greatest tag team wrestler in TNA and how Gunner is the second strongest man in TNA. Guerrero wants a match so Gunner accepts it for next week. If the non Champions win, they get a title shot.
Bound For Glory Series Finals: Magnus vs. AJ Styles
Winner gets Bully at Bound For Glory. AJ takes it to the mat with a headlock takeover and does it again since it worked so well the first time. Magnus comes back with a quick suplex and we hit the chinlock. Back up and AJ drop toeholds Magnus into the buckle as Tenay runs down a Bellator card. They slug it out with AJ taking over but Magnus avoids a knee drop. AJ does the same with an elbow drop and gets two off a small package. Cue EGO to attack both guys at about 4:30 to lay everyone out. The bell never rang to end the match. Referee come out to break it up as we take a break.
Back from a break with the two guys slugging it out. No explanation, no restart, no Hogan announcement. Nothing at all as the match just keeps going which is probably the right idea. AJ wins a slugout but Magnus blocks the Superman Forearm before getting two off a Falcon’s Arrow. AJ counters the Cloverleaf into Undertaker’s Hell’s Gate but he has to raise his shoulder to avoid being pinned and the hold is broken.
The Pele gets two on Magnus and there’s the Calf Killer but Magnus hangs on forever and finally makes the rope. Back up and Magnus counters a spinwheel kick into a spinebuster for two. Magnus loads up a superplex but AJ knocks him down three times in a row. The Spiral Tap is enough to send AJ to Bound For Glory at 15:11.
Rating: B. The EGO thing was completely unnecessary but the match was solid either way. Did anyone really think this wasn’t how the Series was going to end though? That’s the one thing TNA needs to work on: telegraphing their major moments. The Series seemed tailor made for Styles to win from day one and that’s exactly what happened. Still though, very good showing from Magnus and that’s what he needed here.
AJ thanks the fans and Magnus, seemingly reaffirming his face status. He got a lot of replies about what he said a few weeks ago, but he didn’t hear from Dixie Carter. Dixie needs to be here next week because AJ has a lot to say to her.
Overall Rating: A-. Questionable ending aside, this was a great show. When TNA cuts out most of the nonsense, they have the ability to put on some very entertaining shows. The problem is most of their regular shows just aren’t that good and you can really see that when they give an effort like they do on these specials. BFG is set though and that’s the good thing, even though the main story has been Hogan vs. Ray for months now.
Results
AJ Styles b. Austin Aries – Middle rope Styles Clash
Magnus b. Bobby Roode – Jackknife pin
Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson – Spear through a table
AJ Styles b. Magnus – Spiral Tap
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TNA Running Two House Shows In October
According to Meltzer it’s a cost cutting measure. That’s a bad sign if they’re so tight for money they can’t run house shows. I was at a show a few months ago and a TNA employee asked me to write up a good report for them on the internet. The fact that they’re relying on fans to report on the internet that they’re fun shows on top of this tells me that they’re having problems.
NXT – September 11, 2013: Be Careful What You Wish For
NXT Date: September 11, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson
The main story at the moment is Sami Zayn vs. Bo Dallas after Bo cost Sami a match against Jack Swagger last week. Sami is one of the most over guys in NXT and is more than ready for the main roster. Other than that we have the continuing adventures of Mason Ryan vs. LeFort and company which are at least getting Rusev over. Let’s get to it.
Welcome Home.
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Alexander Rusev/Scott Dawson
Enzo goes on a rant about how Dawson and Rusev are SAWFT and the fans eat it up. Dawson is now called Captain Roughneck in a nod to Dick Murdoch. Enzo starts with Dawson with Amore hitting a quick let hand and running off to Cassady. The 7’0 Cassady takes over on the 5’9 Dawson and pounds him down before bringing Enzo back in.
Dawson wastes no time in spinning Amore inside out with a clothesline. Off to Rusev to destroy Enzo with pure power. There’s something awesome about a monster destroying a small man. Back to Dawson who knocks Colin off the apron and plays Neidhart to Rusev’s Bret in a Hart Attack (with a spinwheel kick instead of a clothesline), but that’s a DQ on Rusev and Dawson at 3:35 for being in the ring too long.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but Rusev continues to look good. I still don’t get the appeal of Dawson but he’s much better as a singles guy than he was in the tag team with Dylan. Amore is one of those guys who needs to stay out of the ring as he’s so much better on the mic than he is at wrestling.
Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. The white pants and black vest with the long hair already make me want to punch him. He thanks all of the Bo-lievers for all of their well wishes have made him believe he can fly. Last week he was just down there to cheer Zayn on because Sami needs a mentor. Bo says he’s medically cleared to wrestle Sami but not for the title because he’s not completely healed up. When in doubt, don’t stop Bo-lieving.
CJ Parker talks about Tyler Breeze hording sticks like a beaver while Parker wants to spread the sticks everywhere. Breeze jumps him and takes a photo. Parker still doesn’t do it for me.
Sasha Banks vs. Paige
Banks is being corrupted by the dark side of the Divas in the form of Summer Rae. I thought this was for the title but it wasn’t announced as such. The fans chant Happy Birthday to Paige in a nice gesture. Paige sends her throat first into the ropes a few times before blocking an attempt at the same thing from Sasha. Nice touch. Sasha comes back with a victory roll for two and a reverse waistlock. Paige drives her into the corner for some back elbows to the face ala Matt Morgan. Banks sends her face first into the buckle as we take a break.
Back with Paige in a reverse chinlock followed by a rear naked choke. Paige fights up but gets caught by a back elbow to the jaw for two. We go back to the chinlock with a bodyscissors from Sasha for a very long time until Paige fights up into a rollup for two. Back to the chinlock which has probably been half of the match so far. Paige gets out again and comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex to put Banks down. Ten knees to the chest put Banks down but Paige misses a dropkick, only to roll through a cross body to pin Sasha at 7:42 shown of 11:12.
Rating: C. This was nothing great but Sasha isn’t the best in the ring. The long stretches of chinlockery here didn’t help much either as the match dragged on way too long as a result. The girls here are still much more interesting than the WWE girls but the division could use some fresh faces.
Post match Paige offers a handshake but Sasha beats her down instead.
In the back, Sasha tells Summer how great that felt.
Xavier Woods vs. Leo Kruger
Woods chases Kruger out to the floor but Leo snaps Xavier’s throat over the middle rope to take over. Back in and Leo hooks an armbar to take over and set up the GC3 later on. Woods finally escapes but and takes Leo down with a headscissors. Kruger bails to the floor, only to miss a dive as we take a break. Back with Kruger stomping away and dropping elbows for two.
Leo pulls at Xavier’s face for a bit before it’s back to the armbar, this time with hair pulling. It’s off to a hammerlock instead now but Woods counters with a Stunner. Back up and Woods hits a dropkick to put Leo down but Kruger comes back with a backbreaker for two. A Jackhammer gets two more for Leo but Woods comes back with some forearms and dropkicks to get a breather.
The Honor Roll rolling clothesline is countered into a nice spinebuster for two. Kruger’s Slice misses and Woods hits an enziguri and Lost in the Woods (running Downward Spiral here, though it used to be the name of Gail Kim’s Eat Defeat) for two. The second Honor Roll connects and Eat Defeat is good for the pin on Kruger at 10:40 shown of 12:40.
Rating: C. This picked up at the end but it wasn’t worth sitting through all that time to get there. The arm work from Kruger didn’t go anywhere and Woods’ arm seemed fine for the Honor Roll. The match was nothing special though and there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting that I can think of. That’s fine if the match is really good but it needs more if a match is just ok.
Overall Rating: C-. I know I asked for a weaker show for a change but I’m kind of regretting it now that I’ve gotten it. Nothing on here was very good, the main event felt like it was thrown together and Sasha is just a placeholder until Summer vs. Paige starts up again. Thankfully this is the last show in a taping cycle so next week should feel fresh. This was their weakest offering in awhile.
Results
Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore b. Alexander Rusev/Scott Dawson via DQ when Rusev and Dawson wouldn’t get out of the ring
Paige b. Sasha Banks – Reversed cross body
Xavier Woods b. Leo Kruger – Lost in the Woods
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On This Day: September 12, 1999 – Fall Brawl 1999: Another Attempt At Turning Sting Heel
Fall Brawl 1999
Date: September 12, 1999
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,491
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan
Well it’s the last Fall Brawl that I have left here and WCW is in its dying days here. Yes I know they went on for over a year after this but for all intents and purposes they were done in 2000. There’s no cage at all on this show and I don’t think anyone is going to particularly miss it anyway. Anyway other than that there isn’t much to talk about. Hogan vs. Sting for the title is the main event. Let’s get to it.
Oh and one other thing: Bischoff was legit fired two days before this show, so let’s see what kind of differences we have here.
The opening video is about who you can trust. Not much to say other than that. Hogan says he’s a changed man and all that jazz. Oh and Luger won’t screw them over. He promises.
The announcers say they don’t know who to trust so that’s what makes this very interesting and all that jazz.
Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Insane Clown Posse/Vampiro
Oh look: it’s the clowns. For some reason these guys kept getting put on major shows and told they were pro wrestlers so they pretend they are and waste a lot of time. The other team is the Filthy Animals apparently. Rey is unmasked with blonde hair here because that money from his mask sales was just not needed here. LONG stall to start because they’re freaking clowns.
Vampy doesn’t have his face painted which is a very weird look for him. They chill on the floor so we don’t have any of that wrestling stuff. White hot crowd. Ok so it’s Kidman against Shaggy 2 Dope. I hate this already. Kidman lets Shaggy get a shot in to start and Kidman is walking him through everything. A reverse Veg-O-Matic hits Shaggy and it’s off to Eddie.
Off to Rey vs. Violent Jay. He’s the bigger one and the blonde guy so it’s easy to tell them apart. Bronco Buster hits Vampiro and it’s off to Kidman. Since having Vampiro would be the best idea for his team, here’s Jay again. And yes I know it’ssupposed to just be the letter J but screw these idiots. DDT to Kidman and it’s off to Vampiro again. He hits a spinwheel kick off the top for two on Kidman.
The heels double team Kidman as Tony says his hair used to be like Vampiro’s. Vampy chops away and it’s off to Shaggy. You can tell very quickly that the clowns have very limited skill and training. They look like the Tough Enough guys going through spots. Rey’s knee is hurt and if I remember right this is legit.
Vampiro works over Rey for a bit more until it’s off to Eddie. Let the chopping begin! Vampy gets a nice spin kick to take Eddie down as it’s back to the clowns. Shaggy TOTALLY misses a top rope legdrop but gets two anyway. Eddie cleans house but Shaggy and Vampiro hit the absolute worst 3D you will ever see.
Shaggy was doing Bubba’s part and drops Eddie about two feet above the mat, more or less making it a very modified Samoan Drop by Vampiro. GET THESE GUYS OUT OF THE FREAKING RING BEFORE THEY KILL SOMEONE. Everything breaks down and it’s 3-2 due to Rey’s knee injury. The Shooting Star ends Vampiro finally.
Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where you have to praise one set of guys for the good stuff and blame the rest on the others. Point blank: the clowns don’t belong in the ring. They’re not good, they’re not interesting, they’re not wrestlers and they have zero business being out there. That being said, naturally they got time on all four major companies’ shows because someone hates me.
We recap the Cruiserweight Title match which is basically Lenny Lane as a gay guy who is champion defending against Kaz Hayashi who is the flavor of the month.
Cruiserweight Title: Lenny vs. Kaz Hayashi
In what may or may not be a great way to set this up, Kaz was facing Lodi and rolled up Lenny when he interfered to pin him and earn the title shot. Lenny and Lodi are the West Hollywood Blondes now and they’re just flat out gay characters now. Lenny does the stereotypical Rico-style stuff and it’s official that we have a comedy match. Kaz sends him to the floor and Lenny literally jumps into Lodi’s arms like he’s about to be carried over a threshold.
Kaz dives onto them and takes over in the ring. Lenny drops him down and does the whole sexy pin thing. Pretty nice gutwrench powerbomb gets two. Lenny goes to the floor and Kaz hits a huge tope con hilo to take over again. And never mind as Lodi gets a shot in to take over again and give Lenny two. Off to the chinlock to waste some time now.
Kaz gets a rana for two but walks into a bulldog for two. Belly to back shifts the momentum back to Hayashi. This is an awkward match to say the least. Kaz gets a pretty awesome slingshot bulldog for two and sets for his finisher, whatever that is. It’s something off the top apparently. Lenny reverses, only to get caught in a Ligerbomb out of the corner for two. Rana out of the corner gets two. Kaz sends the blondes into each other and gets a victory roll for two. Lodi interferes for two but the distraction is enough to let Lenny hit a Skull Crushing Finale to end it.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible but it was certainly awkward for almost the entire thing. The ending was better but at the same time it was far more like a collection of spots rather than a match. That was a problem for Cruiserweights and with lower level guys like these, that’s not good. Not a terrible match or anything, but just kind of weak. Lenny would be stripped of the title by Turner Sports because they didn’t like his character, resulting in them finally saying Psicosis is champion just because we say so.
Sting comes out to the ring for a full on promo. In short he’s a lone wolf (or is it lobster) and isn’t friends with Luger. Flexy Lexy needs to stay out of the ring tonight so we’ll have him penciled in for run-in #3. Oh and this is business, not personal with Hogan. Say it with me: heel turn.
Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko
Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.
Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?
Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.
The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.
Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.
TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner
Steiner is now a heel and all “rough” or something like that. Oh and the Steiners are all cool again. Steiner is champion and Saturn is in the Revolution. Take a guess as to what happens here. Steiner takes him down to the match rather quickly as we’re told Buff Bagwell isn’t here yet but there’s a replacement for him who will be named later.
Saturn gets his spinning legdrop for no cover. Suicide dive takes out Steiner and Saturn hammers away. No real reason for this match other than Saturn has been deemed a challenger. We touch on the death of referee Mark Curtis (Brian Hilldebrand) who passed away earlier in the week. Everyone is wearing a black armband because of it which is always cool to see.
Out to the floor and Saturn is sent into the steps. Bad DDT on the floor puts Saturn down even more. Other than a brief flourish at the beginning it’s been all Steiner because that’s what he does. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to sell for anyone. That would imply that someone young could be better than him and the people might somehow care about him even less. Perish the thought!
German sends Saturn flying. Off to a chinlock so that Rick can have a little breather. Off to a half crab as this is rather boring indeed. Saturn slaps the mat but we’re not going to call that a tap out because that’s not the planned ending. Back to the half crab which isn’t even cranked on. Basically he’s just got his leg up in the air a bit. Give me a break. Belly to belly gets no cover for Rick.
There’s another belly to belly and Saturn is down. Rick yells at a fan and Saturn is able to get a middle rope dropkick to take Steiner down. T-bone suplex gets two for the former Perry. And never mind that as Steiner takes him down with a powerslam for two. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, gets two also. Saturn calls for the Rings of Saturn but instead goes for another DVD which is shrugged off. Steiner Bulldog is broken up but the second attempt hits so Steiner can retain. Give me another break.
Rating: D-. No one, I mean NO ONE, cared about Rick Steiner at this point. Therefore the obvious solution is to give him the TV Title for four months. He would lose it to Benoit the next night, so why in the freaking world wouldn’t you just do the title change here???? Oh that’s right: Benoit has to job to Sid because Heaven knows Sid is the guy that needs the US Title more than Benoit right? I freaking give up.
Here’s Hogan, saying he’s a good guy now and won’t stab anyone in the back. Oh and if anyone wants him, come get him. There are run-ins #1 and #2 for later I presume. The fans chant for Flair, who isn’t here I don’t think.
We recap what was supposed to be Berlyn vs. Bagwell. Berlyn is Alex Wright as a crazy ticked off German with a Mohawk and The Wall (get it?) as his bodyguard. Bagwell didn’t like him so that was your match. Then Bagwell didn’t want to lose and refused to go out to lose. Of course he did. The Berlyn character was delayed due to Columbine, so this was supposed to happen back in the spring.
Berlyn vs. ???
The replacement is Jim Duggan of all people. Berlyn jumps him in the corner and can’t put him down with a dropkick. Duggan starts a comeback after not being on defense for the most part. Clotheslines put Berlyn on the floor. Duggan massacres him for the most part. Remember that this is Berlyn’s debut. Berlyn hits a clothesline, Duggan won’t stay down. They slug it out and Duggan still won’t sell anything.
The fans want Flair and are rather patriotic at the same time. Off to a chinlock which Duggan at least sits still for, at least for a few seconds. Duggan fights up and stays on offense. Seriously, the guy won’t stay down more than like 2 seconds off any move. He does the whole nothing hurts him walk (as opposed to standing there and letting nothing hurt him) and dear goodness help me they’re trying technical stuff.
I think it would be a bit better to go out and watch a bunch of puppies get massacred. This is horrid and somehow gets even more boring. Another chinlock gets us nowhere because Duggan won’t sell anything, not even with facial expressions. Duggan hammers away even more and Wall pulls back the mats on the floor. A HORRIBLE neckbreaker finally ends this. Duggan was going to take it like a Stunner so Berlyn had to say “turn around” to end it. Horrid, horrid match.
Rating: G. As in GO AWAY DUGGAN. This was awful and the majority of that can be blamed on Duggan. If he won’t sell for Berlyn, how in the world can you expect the character to be taken seriously? Terrible match and oddly enough the second time this has happened to Wright.
Bagwell “arrives” and comes out to hug Duggan, who isn’t happy. I’m not either but I’m not getting a paycheck like he is either so there we are.
Video on how Harlem Heat is back together. They were champions again and then the Rednecks got them because that’s how WCW rolls. That of course all happened in less than a month, because WCW decided we needed NINETEEN TITLE CHANGES in 1999.
Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. West Texas Rednecks
The Rednecks are Barry and Kendall Windham with Hennig in their corner. They’re country singers and that’s about it. The Windhams are legit brothers. Booker vs. Kendall to start us off and Kendall bails to avoid a spin kick. Heat double teams Kendall and it’s off to Stevie. Now Stevie won’t sell anything. Naturally this is probably going to be praised, because WCW needs more guys to no sell so their other guys look bad right?
Barry comes in to hit a DDT for no cover. How he went from being as totally awesome as he was at one point to being here now is amazing. Odd to see two pairs of brothers here. Actually it isn’t but there isn’t much to talk about here. Hennig gets in a shot to make sure that Kendall can get a two count on Stevie. Stevie gets a powerslam out of nowhere to put Barry down.
Double tag brings in Kendall and Booker with the more famous one doing what he can. Down goes Hennig and Kendall does the same a second after. The double teaming begins on the floor as Booker gets caught. Off to the chinlock on Booker by Kendall as the fans chant for the Heat. That’s better than nothing I guess. Axe kick hits but it would have been a bit better if Kendall had waited until it actually hit to go down.
Spinarooni is broken up by Barry and it’s back to the floor for Booker. More double teaming continues and it’s back in to Barry. Barry gets a middle rope superplex (his old finisher) but Stevie makes the save. If this sounds really boring, I’m getting better at this emotion thing in the writing. Kendall gets a lariat mostly to the neck for two. Booker gets his sunset flip out of the corner for two.
The heels double team a lot, as you would expect from a team with an old school guy like Barry. There’s a sleeper to Barry as this is probably on the verge of ending. Back off to Kendall who hits a weak middle rope clothesline for one. Classic old school spot as the referee misses the hot tag. Stevie beats up everyone anyway and everything breaks down. Hennig hits Ray in the head with a cowbell but the referee won’t count BECAUSE HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION!!!! WOW!!!!! Booker is still legal so the missile dropkick he hits gets the tag titles back.
Rating: D+. Match was weak but this is a fine sign of what Bischoff not being around means: the ending made perfect sense for a change and was actually kind of creative. No one cared about the match though, because we had seen it just a few weeks ago on Nitro. Nothing of note at all, as you could say about most matches tonight.
Recap of Benoit vs. Sid. Sid was doing the whole imitating Goldberg’s Streak deal and Benoit challenged him. Benoit is US Champion and part of the Revolution. You figure out what’s going to happen here.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious
Oh and Revolution’s theme song is a cover of The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. Just to hammer in WCW’s refusal to push young guys, Benoit and Malenko were having a #1 contenders match so Sid ran in to make it a no contest. He’s 79-0 at this point, with wins coming through means such as just chokeslamming people and not pinning them, beating people up in brawls and beating people up despite losing the match by countout or something like that. Go figure.
Sid throws Benoit around a lot and then stalls. Benoit gets tossed even more and then, like a good ring general, goes for the knee of a bigger man. Makes perfect sense right? He gets a dragon screw, a dropkick to the knee, some cannonballs down onto the knee and an Indian Deathlock in the span of about a minute. After all that, Sid popped up and was completely fine. It’s going to be one of those matches.
Sid stomps away in the corner with his knee being just fine. Benoit avoids a charge and goes to the floor, wrapping the leg around the post and then putting it between the steps and post, dropkicking the steps into the leg twice. That’s an attack that would put some guys out for weeks. Ok so to be clear: SID’S LEG SHOULD BE HURT. Back into the ring and Sid is able to catch Benoit flying through the air in a cross body. Benoit counters into a German and Sid flat out will not sell the knee at all.
Samoan Drop and the knee is still perfectly fine. Oh NOW he limps a bit, after destroying Benoit. By a bit I mean he kicks the ropes a few times and it perfectly fine. There’s a Cobra Clutch into a slam by Sid. That gets two so Sid hammers away on him and it’s off to the chinlock. The fans get distracted by something as Sid FINALLY starts to limp. You know, after he threw Benoit all over the place.
Sid goes for some power move but Benoit reverses and gets his feet up in the corner. Back to the knee and there’s the Crossface. Now as I’m sure you know, there’s a simple way of communicating that you want to submit and end the match: you slap the mat multiple times. This is commonly known as tapping out. SID SLAPS THE MAT TWICE. However that doesn’t count despite the referee looking straight at him and being maybe 5 inches from Sid’s tapping hand.
Benoit is TICKED as Sid stands up while the hold is still on and drags Benoit to the ropes. Remember the hold is on and Sid is on his feet. Gee it’s a good thing his legs are in such great shape isn’t it? Benoit goes up, Swan Dive misses and Sid casually moves out of the way and then snaps off a powerbomb with his arm and knee being just fine as he wins the US Title. Benoit would get the TV Title the next night and a WWF contract four months later as a result.
Rating: F. This stands for failure, because that’s what this was. First and foremost let me make this clear: Benoit did nothing wrong here. Not a thing. His psychology was good (take the big man off his feet), his offense was good (variety of attacks), his emotion was good, everything he did made sense and worked fine.
Then on the other hand we have Sid. This is the epitome of the problem with WCW and arguably the main reason they went under: Sid could have gone out there and tap danced for the 12 minutes this match had while Benoit put on the wrestling clinic of a lifetime and Sid’s push would have continued while Benoit would have been pushed back down the card. The reason for this being that Sid has been decided to be one of the “it” guys. He’s 39 here (Benoit was 32), he will not sell the knee making Benoit more or less a pointless jobber here, and he can’t do anything special in the ring at all.
And yet he’s going to get pushed. Why is that you ask? Because someone in WCW decided he would with no reason other than Sid gets pushed. Benoit was put in the list of people that weren’t getting pushed and that was that. So in other words, there’s no point for the young guys to try hard because it’s not going to get them anywhere. Sid of course would go on to be pushed even harder, winning the world title in January while Benoit thankfully left for the WWF. This match is a lot sadder than it sounds because Benoit is trying but Sid just won’t cooperate, which makes his push all the stupider.
We recap DDP vs. Goldberg with Page as the heel, working with the original Jersey Triad. Page beat Goldberg with a chair and that’s about it.
Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page
This is more or less a midcard match because Goldberg had his time so it’s time for the REAL draws in the form of old Sting and old Hogan to run things here. So just to be clear here, Goldberg is 32 years old and has one loss against roughly 240 wins in his WCW career. He’s ridiculously popular and here he is in a midcard feud. Seriously, I want to know: how did WCW make money at one point?
The referee checks them for objects and finds a chain on Page. Page shoves the referee away and drops a roll of half dollars. Ok that was funny. Page is knocked to the floor quickly and comes back in for a feeling out process, only to get knocked all over the place for his efforts. Page is knocked to the floor again as it doesn’t seem like they know what their plan is here, which is unheard of for a Page match.
Page gets a shot in as Goldberg comes in again but can’t get the Diamond Cutter. Powerslam gets no cover for Goldberg. Page pulls out a third object which the referee didn’t find to hammer Billy Boy in the head and take over. The fans LOUDLY chant for Goldberg and pop even louder when he gets in some punches. Page drills him with the object again and the referee is cool with it I guess.
Off to the chinlock on the mat as Page cheats even more which this referee somehow still can’t see. I know the joke is that they’re blind but how can you manage to believe this isn’t being seen? Goldberg Goldbergs Up and even hits a big boot to complete the joke. Page gets a horrible jumping tornado DDT to get two and break the momentum though which is kind of surprising actually.
Another weapon shot sets up a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Here’s the rest of the Triad to cheat and that doesn’t work. Spear and Jackhammer end this like three seconds later. Oh and the last weapon shot made Goldberg legit bleed from the neck. Freaking ow man. Well at least it’s over I guess.
Rating: D. Remember when Page was one of the most awesome things in the world and more or less couldn’t be beaten? This is nothing like that. Page as a heel is awful, especially when he’s getting destroyed by someone like Goldberg. This was a weak match all around and no one bought that Page had a chance at all, which he didn’t.
We recap Sting vs. Hogan. Hogan says he’s a new man (despite being the old version of him) and then Luger says he has proof that Hogan is lying through his teeth. There was a Hummer that was trying to run Nash over a few months earlier and no one knew who was driving it (despite Sting being seen in the driver’s seat of it at one point) so Luger says it was Hogan (despite this Hummer being white and the original one being black). This would go nowhere, despite it being implied that Sid was revealed as the driver earlier in the year. It would be touched on AGAIN in April when it was implied it was Bischoff driving.
Anyway, Sting was found out cold on the floor and Luger blamed Hogan, despite Hogan swearing it wasn’t him. This is actually a lot more like the angle in 1995 that got dropped because Hogan got bored with it I guess and went back to fighting the Dungeon of Doom and the Horsemen until Hall debuted. Not that it matters or anything but Buffer takes forever to do an intro and I need something to pass the time.
WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hulk Hogan
Hogan is champion and is in red and yellow while Sting is kind of a tweener. They shake hands before the match and you can feel Sting’s heel turn coming. Here’s Bret before the match starts, wanting to wish them luck. He couldn’t do this as they come past the Gorilla Position? He actually leaves without doing anything. Thanks for wasting about two minutes there Bret.
They lock up on the ropes and the referee has to split them up. Hogan grabs a rollup for one. They actually wrestle a bit, blowing the minds of everyone. It’s slow but it’s not horrible I guess. Hogan takes him into the corner and strikes away a lot in a variety of methods. A pair of elbow drops gets two. Hogan gets a suplex which is no sold by Sting.
They hit the floor and it’s Hogan in control still. Why do I have a feeling this is Bound For Glory this year (2011)? He takes Sting down and drops more elbows, only for Sting to send him into the railing to take over. Back into the ring and Hogan hits a belly to back suplex for two. Off to a surfboard as Sting is in some trouble here. There’s an abdominal stretch to crank up the difficulty.
There’s a back rake by Hogan as this is going so slowly and no one in the building believes there’s going to be a clean ending. Ten punches in the corner set up some biting of Sting’s cranial area. Sting gets a cross body for two. A pair of Stinger Splashes hit out of nowhere but the third one misses and it’s Hulk Up time.
He hits the big boot and leg but here’s DDP to deck the referee and Diamond Cut Hogan, which only gets two. Diamond Cutter for the referee and Hogan stares DDP down but here’s Bret Hart to take out Page. Everyone but Hogan goes to the floor and here’s Sid who is sent out quickly. Luger is here with a ball bat but Hogan gets him too. Sting gets the bat and Hogan says Luger was the one. Sting drills Hogan with the bat to a huge face pop and the Scorpion gives Sting the win over the unconscious Hogan. That was supposed to be a heel turn but the standing ovation seems to make that feel like a failure.
Rating: D. They tried to wrestle and then proved why they shouldn’t be doing that. The whole thing didn’t work for the most part and the heel turn at the end was downright hilarious because no one wanted Sting as a heel. The people flat out aren’t going to boo him and it’s a waste of time to get them to try. This was another example of WCW having no idea what to do with the world title and it failing completely. This went nowhere and Sting would lose the title next month.
Overall Rating: F. Failure on all levels here as there weren’t any good matches, the ending sucked for the most part and they managed to bury an entire group in one night. Anyway, this whole show didn’t work, much like the entirety of 1999. The company was more or less dead at this point so they were trying whatever they could to make things work, such as turning Sting heel, which wasn’t going to work at all. Anyway, horrible show, much like the rest of the year was.
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Jim Ross Officially Retires
Wasn’t he pretty much retired already anyway? Nothing major here but I’d be surprised if he doesn’t pop up every now and then.
WWE.Com’s Top 15 Best PPVs Ever
Uh……#1 WrestleMania X-Seven
#2 Money in the Bank 2011
#3 Royal Rumble 2000
#4 Spring Stampede 1994
#5 WrestleMania III
#6 Great American Bash 1989
#7 SummerSlam 2013
#8 One Night Stand 2005
#9 No Way Out 2001
#10 In Your House: Canadian Stampede
#11 Extreme Rules 2012
#12 Bash at the Beach 1996
# 13 Backlash 2009
#14 Heat Wave 1998
#15 Survivor Series 1995
Honorable Mentions:
SummerSlam 1991
WrestleMania X
WCW Great American Bash 1996
ECW Barely Legal
Backlash 2000
Invasion
SummerSlam 2002
Bad Blood 2004
InVasion? Really? Also Summerslam 02 not being on the actual list is a crime. Summerslam 1991 never did anything for me other than one match.
Monday Nitro – April 20, 1998: I Don’t Care If You’ve Heard This One Before
Monday Nitro #136 Date: April 20, 1998
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko
It’s the night after Spring Stampede and some things have changed. To begin with Savage is the new world champion having defeated Sting with the help of Kevin Nash. This of course turned into yet another Hogan story as Hogan tried to keep the title on Sting but Nash helped take it off of him to screw over Hogan who hit Nash with a baseball bat earlier in the night. Other than that Raven won the US Title last night and gets Goldberg as a reward tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with exclusive footage from after the PPV where Hogan and Disciple jumped Savage and Nash but the NWO B Team came out to prevent Hogan from taking the belt.
Opening sequence.
The announcers talk about the title picture.
Here are Hogan, Disciple and Bischoff to open the show because it’s not like there’s a new world champion who should be opening things up. Bischoff ensures us that he loves Hogan who loves all of you. Hogan says the NWO is for life and thinks Nash and Savage are caught in the river Styx. There’s no escape for Savage tonight because the NWO is watching all the exits.
The fans are all over Hogan to the point where I can barely understand him. Hogan wants to call out Savage tonight and he’ll take care of Nash too. The NWO has split and it’s time to find out who is going to follow whom and if Nash tries to get involved, Hogan will take him apart too.
Goldberg is getting ready.
The announcers talk about what Hogan said while adding nothing new at all.
Here’s Savage for the rebuttal. He’s wants to fight instead of gloat because the only coward here tonight is Hollywood Hogan. The worst kept secret in the world is that he hates Hogan in life and death. See, Hogan has everyone snowed. Hogan’s main goal was to keep Savage from taking over but now his world is crashing down around him.
It was Hogan behind the wheel of the Viper a few weeks ago but now there’s nothing preventing Savage from fighting Hogan tonight. No one can stop him on live TV, including Bischoff, Turner or the big Macho Man in the sky. Savage brings out Nash, calling him the new leader of the NWO. Shouldn’t the new WORLD CHAMPION be the leader?
Here’s Nash, not even in an NWO shirt. He says that this is the end of Hogan’s career because the NWO is no longer his, brother. Tonight Savage is going to be the end of Hogan when he beats him for the title. Nash is coming for Disciple and Bischoff too, because he’s powerbombed Eric before and he’ll do it again.
The announcers talk even more.
Raven says he won’t be #75 for Goldberg because he’s been through pain before.
Nitro Girls. We’re only half an hour into the show before the first match so why not have even more filler?
Gene tells us to call the Hotline for the latest rumors about nothing in particular.
Konnan vs. Chris Adams
Yep, this is what we waited thirty minutes to get to. Adams takes over with some quick suplexes and armdrags Konnan down to counter Konnan’s technical attempts. Another armdrag sends Konnan to the floor for a conference with Vincent. Back in and Konnan hits the low dropkick and a hard clothesline before cranking on the arm. Adams fights up and tries Kofi Kingston’s SOS for two but crashes into the ropes on a cross body attempt. The Tequila Sunrise gets the submission for Konnan.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as neither guy is anything of note at this point. Konnan is nothing more than a lackey with an accent and Adams is a jobber that most of WCW’s fans likely haven’t heard of. The announcers didn’t help things either by spending the entire match talking about Goldberg. If they want to get back on top in the ratings, this is a strange way of going about it.
Nitro Party video.
Barbarian vs. Wayne Bloom
Barbarian pounds him into the corner to start but Wayne comes back with a clothesline. Jimmy Hart distracts Bloom, allowing Barbie to get the pin off a big boot. Match might have lasted a minute.
Raven says he’s next.
Here’s Chris Jericho, wearing Iaukea’s skirt thing, with a portrait of Dean Malenko. Jericho has some good news and bad news. The bad news is that Malenko is retired, but the good news is he has a job interview at Harry’s Burgers in Tampa. Jericho will give us updates on how the interview goes.
Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera
Juvy pounds away in the corner and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana. Off to a quick chinlock but Jericho comes back with a jawbreaker and does his long strut. Juvy avoids a charge to send Jericho to the floor and a big plancha takes Chris down again. Back in and a springboard spinwheel kick gets two. Juvy rolls up Jericho’s body into a DDT for two more as this is incredibly fast paced for the most part. Juvy tries another hurricanrana but gets caught in the Liontamer, eventually passing out from the pain, playing up the Never Surrender idea.
Rating: C+. They packed a lot of action into a three and a half minute match. Juvy continues to be one of the best fliers around and Jericho is more than capable of hanging in there with him when he tries to. It says a lot when you can have a crowd going nuts in the first minute and a half of a match which is exactly what Juvy had them doing here on those near falls.
Jericho: “MY GOD I KILLED JUVY!”
Goldberg is still getting ready.
Hour #2 begins.
US Title: Goldberg vs. Raven
Raven is defending and this is under his rules. He lays the belt out in front of Goldberg and they talk trash, only to have Raven dropkick him down. We head to the floor with Raven being whipped into the barricade to give Goldberg control. Back inside and Goldie puts on a leg lock before superkicking Raven right back to the floor.
Raven grabs a chair and smashes Goldberg in the back to slow him down. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by a reverse chinlock on Goldberg. The big man powers up and no sells a bunch of right hands. There’s the spear but Goldberg has to destroy the Flock. Raven tries to leave but the fans throw him back to ringside. Another spear and a Jackhammer onto a stop sign (brought in by Horace) make Goldberg US Champion.
Rating: C+. Total destruction here by Goldberg which is a good idea, but I don’t know why it had to be at Raven’s expense just one day after he won the title. The guy did some great work with Page and Benoit earlier in the year but now he gets to keep the US Title for a single day? Still though, good, hard hitting match here.
More Nitro Girls.
La Parka vs. Ultimo Dragon
La Parka does his dance to start but Dragon takes him by the arm and sends him down with a flying mare. Dragon avoids a charge into the corner but a spinwheel kick sends him to the floor. La Parka hits a big dive to the floor before throwing on a chinlock back in the ring. A clothesline gets two on Dragon but La Parka goes up top and dives into some boots from Dragon. Eddie Guerrero is dragging Chavo to the ring by the neck as Dragon fires off the kicks. Chavo is forced to shove Dragon off the top, allowing La Parka to hit a twisting body attack off the top for the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine with both guys looking good for the most part and tying it into the Guerrero story could be interesting. It’s a good sign thing to have so many talented guys you can throw out there to have solid matches and giving them a story makes things even better. Nice little match here.
We look at some stills from the main event last night.
Chris Benoit vs. Curt Hennig
Rude jumps in on commentary as is customary anymore. Benoit jumps Hennig as he comes to the ring and goes after Curt’s banged up knee. Hennig tries to take it to the mat which goes about as well as you would expect against Chris Benoit. Rude comes down to ringside as Benoit kicks Hennig’s leg out. Hennig sends Benoit to the floor for a beating from Rude, leaving Benoit out cold. Back in and Hennig loads up the HennigPlex, only to have Benoit counter into the Crossface. Rude comes in for the DQ because the NWO isn’t allowed to lose.
Rude beats up Benoit some more but Booker T makes the save. Benoit yells at Booker for helping him, triggering a fight on the stage.
Come to the Power Plant! You can be told you have no future in the business like Dave Batista!
More stills from the main event.
Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. Piper sucks up to the University of Colorado a bit while talking about something starting at Spring Stampede tonight. The main event is now No DQ, no one allowed at ringside and they’ll fight until there’s a winner.
More stills from the main event. They’ve pretty much given up on the practice of not saying who wins the PPV matches until the replay was over.
Hammer vs. Perry Saturn
The brawl starts in the aisle with Saturn taking over. Hammer is sent into the steps and we finally head inside. A top rope clothesline puts Hammer down again but he pops up to catch Saturn in a powerslam. Saturn suplexes him down a few times but a Thesz Press is countered into something resembling an Alabama Slam from Hammer. Saturn gets a breather though as Hammer seems to have hurt his knee so a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Instead of going after the knee, Saturn crushes Hammer’s arm between the steps and the post. They fight up the aisle for a countout.
Rating: D. This was more of an angle than a match which barely lasted long enough to be rated. Saturn continues to be awesome with his unique style but he needs something better than Hammer to make this work. They did the right thing by keeping it short though as Saturn’s rebellion against Raven begins.
More stills from the main event. Just show the match already if you’re going to show this many shots from the match.
Hour #3 begins.
The announcers talk even more.
Public Enemy vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell
Bagwell starts with Grunge and it’s already time to pose. A quick armdrag takes Grunge down and it’s time for the posing strut. Grunge comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before it’s off to Rocco vs. Steiner. Scott easily throws Rock around but gets caught in a sleeper. A belly to belly suplex gets Scott out of trouble as the slow power offense continues. Rocco comes back with a swinging neckbreaker before it’s back to Buff for some choking.
Back to Grunge who gets caught in a Tree of Woe for choking by Steiner as the offense continues to expand. Buff heads to the floor but gets caught by some double teaming to give Grunge a breather. Everything breaks down with Grunge hitting a double bulldog on the NWO. Buff is laid out on the table but gets up before Rocco can drive him through. Back in and Scott gets up the Recliner but Buff wants the Blockbuster instead for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was pretty dull stuff. At the end of the day Public Enemy wasn’t a very interesting team because they didn’t have much to offer in WCW besides the table stuff. Scott continues to seem tentative at best on offense instead of being a killing machine like he was in the early days of the Steiner Brothers which made him a star.
Nitro Girls.
TV Title: Psychosis vs. Booker T
Booker takes him down with a back elbow and it’s off to an early armbar. A clothesline and some chops have Psychosis in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to the chest and one to the leg for good measure. Psychosis gets two off a top rope spinning body attack and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Booker hits a knee to the ribs to stop Psychosis cold. Booker’s knee drop misses so Psychosis wraps the knee around the post to keep him down. Not that it matters as Booker pops up and hits the snap spinebuster. The flapjack sets up a sidekick and the missile dropkick retains the title.
Rating: D+. This felt like they were trying to fill in nine minutes instead of having an entertaining and competitive match. I didn’t leave much out of the match and it somehow ran over nine minutes. There was nothing to see here and they didn’t even let Psychosis fly around the ring all that much. Also Booker completely ignored the knee work near the end which made it even worse.
Bryan Adams vs. Lex Luger
Feeling out process to start with Luger ducking right hands and scoring with an atomic drop. Lex pounds away in the corner and clotheslines Adams down a few times. A third clothesline puts Bryan on the floor and Luger suplexes him back in, only to have a splash (from Luger?) hit knees. Adams gets two off a gorilla press but Luger comes back with a neckbreaker, expanding his moveset yet again. A powerslam puts Adams down, drawing in Vincent for a torture rack. Konnan comes in and gets a rack of his own but there’s still no DQ. Luger drops Konnan and hits a running clothesline on Adams for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was even less interesting than the previous match with Adams and Luger doing nothing of note for the entire match. I have no idea why Adams is getting this prominent of a role but he’s not showing he deserves it. This show is really dragging before the main event and I doubt Hogan vs. Savage is going to raise the bar very much.
The announcers talk about how great the main event will be.
WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Randy Savage
No DQ. Hogan threatens to use his Viper to make Savage a speed bump after winning the title. We get the required stalling to start as Hogan hides behind Disciple, ignoring Piper’s statement that no one would be allowed at ringside. Hogan slowly gets in and is taken down by an early shoulder block. After even more stalling Hogan comes back with right hands and some rakes to various body parts. Savage gets choked in the corner by both Hogan and Disciple and a belly to back suplex gets two for the challenger.
We head to the floor for some chair shots to Savage’s….knee I think but it also grazed the shoulder. Hogan pounds away against the barricade before head head back inside. Savage gets in some right hands of his own but injures his knee while kicking Hogan in the ribs. Take notes Booker. Hogan goes after the leg for a few moments but Savage gets in a low blow. He’s too beaten down to follow up so we head to the floor again.
Nothing happens there so it’s back inside for some choking with the weightlifting belt. Savage is reeling and there’s the slam to set up the leg drop but the champion rolls away. Now Savage gets the weightlifting belt and whips Hogan to the biggest reaction of the last hour and a half. Savage slams him down and drops the elbow but the knee prevents him from covering.
Off to a spinning toe hold into a figure four by Hogan to make Savage scream. The fans immediately turn to the entrance to look for the interference a funny moment. Savage makes the rope pretty easily as Dusty Rhodes would have laughed at how badly Hogan had the hold on.
Randy gets up and throws the referee down so he can choke Hogan even more. Disciple comes in for the Stunner on Nick Patrick and goes after Savage’s knee. The fans look to the entrance again but no one is coming yet. Savage’s knee is wrapped around the post and there’s a Stunner with the belt on Disciple’s shoulder.
Now we get Kevin Nash but Bischoff follows him and grabs his leg, allowing Hogan and Disciple to beat Nash down. Hogan’s belt shot hits Nash in the head and Nash jackknifes Hollywood. He drapes Savage on Hogan but here’s Bret Hart to hit Nash with the belt and put Hogan on top of Savage for the pin and the title.
Rating: D-. Where do I even start? We’ll go with the obvious: the match wasn’t all that good. It went on longer than it should have, though to be fair Hogan going after the knee made sense so there was a basic story being told out there. Other than that though, there wasn’t anything good going on.
To begin with, we had three interferences after Piper guaranteed none. Obviously Piper was watching the match but he didn’t do anything about his rules being broken, making him look like an inept figurehead. Granted that might be better than being a crazy rambling psycho who made no sense whatsoever.
Then after all that there’s the booking. We have two stupid points here. Bret’s turn is the easier one to deal with. No it makes no sense, but there’s still a chance to fix things later on with an explanation. At the end of the day though, there was no build to the turn, no teasing of anything, it goes against everything Bret and Hogan have been saying for weeks and it’s not like Bret has been doing anything of note leading up to the match anyway which takes away from the turn a bit.
Then there’s the bigger problem: Hogan as champion AGAIN. He’s held the title for nearly last year and a half save for five days. The idea has been done, but we get to see it yet again for no apparent reason whatsoever. The fans were going nuts for Savage and then just died for the title change. WCW’s fans were tired of Hogan because it’s the same thing they’ve seen for nearly four years now. Is it any wonder why the people changed the channel over to Raw to see something fresh like Austin on top?
The show isn’t quite over.
Piper finally comes out to yell at Bret as there are four bodies piled up on the mat. Bret decks Piper to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Nitro continues on the same track as always: some decent stuff but the NWO nonsense drags it down. At the end of the day, people are sick of Hogan and whatever he has going on at the moment. Nash vs. Hogan could be interesting, but we’re almost two years into the NWO era now and while they’re splitting up, it’s just putting even more focus onto them. Now on the other side we have Goldberg who is finally pushed up to a higher level and given something of note. There’s good stuff hidden under all the nonsense here but there’s way more nonsense than good.
The next week of shows are kind of weird. Thunder is on Wednesday this week and next week Nitro will be split in two. Monday will have an hour long show and Tuesday will have two hours, I believe due to basketball. I’ll be reviewing both Nitros at once.
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On This Day: September 11, 2005 – Unbreakable: TNA’s Greatest Moment
Unbreakable
Date: September 11, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
For those of you that keep track, this is the final TNA PPV that I haven’t done. The reason I chose this one for the last spot is the main event, which is universally considered the best TNA match of all time. Meltzer gave it five stars and I have yet to hear anyone say anything bad about it. The interesting thing is this is during the dark ages for the company, as they’re off TV here and wouldn’t get back on for another three weeks or so. Due to that and the main event, the rest of the show is almost totally forgotten. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is themed like an old school radio announcer and how TNA is the new national pastime. It runs down the main events, which also includes Raven vs. Rhyno for the title. That and the triple threat are the only matches mentioned. I liked this and the stupid idea was kind of cute.
3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough
The Diamonds are Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young. After Konnan does his usual schtick, Elix and BG start things off. This was the same pairing that started off the match at the previous PPV I did. Elix uses his speed to control early but BG comes back with the same moveset he’s been using for years. Young tries to come in and gets double teamed by Killings and James. Back to Skipper and the Diamonds get in some triple team action on the former Road Dogg. Seriously, that’s what they call him quite a few times. BG escapes, hot tags Konnan, a shoe is thrown and the X-Factor pins Young. Seriously, that’s it.
Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? It was like four minutes long and the match sucked. This was a horrible choice for an opener but I guess the fans are happy with the ending. The Diamonds were a really weak mini stable and I don’t think anyone ever cared about them in any way, shape or form. Really bad choice to start the show here.
We recap the preshow with Brown, Jarrett and Hardy all wanting the BFG title match. That would go to Kevin Nash on paper but Rhyno in reality.
Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong
Aries takes him to the mat immediately as the fans chant about Generation Next. West explains that they’re stable mates in ROH as Strong takes over again. Aries (who looks really weird without his mustache) nips up and takes over again. A dropkick sets up a headlock on the mat for Aries as Austin is in control. Strong tries the Strong Hold but Aries spins out of it and we get a standoff.
Aries’ monkey flip is countered and Strong busts out the backbreakers. He throws Aries into the buckle for two and follows it up with a butterfly suplex for the same. Another backbreaker gets two and Strong stays on the back. He mixes it up by putting on a full nelson with his legs, only to get rolled up for two. Strong goes to a safer chinlock but Aries pops up. That gets him nowhere though as Roderick dropkicks him down for two.
Strong is continuing his career run of not being that interesting in the ring with this match. Aries comes back with a clothesline and hits the Pendulum Elbow for two. The slingshot spinning splash gets the same and Strong is in trouble. A backbreaker out of nowhere (he’s the Messiah of them you know) gets Strong control again and the double knee gutbuster gets a VERY close two. Aries blocks the Strong Hold and hits the corner dropkick. The brainbuster sets up the 450 for the pin on Strong.
Rating: B-. Fun match but it came and went. There’s nothing else to this one at all with no story behind it or anything. This was a way for these guys to get out there and fly around a little bit which worked, but it doesn’t advance anything or prove anything. It was a good match and that’s all it was supposed to be though.
Monty Brown isn’t worried about teaming with Kip James. Cue Kip who says Monty should apologize to Jarrett for wanting a title match. Monty says no so Kip says get your head in the game. Brown says his catchphrase and that’s about it.
Monty Brown/Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt/Apolo
James/Brown injured Apolo’s normal partner Sonny Siaki so this is about revenge. Hoyt and Kip start and this could get bad in a hurry. Lance is a big guy with some agility but he needs someone to work well off of. Kip tries his usual stuff but can’t do anything against Hoyt’s power. After getting slammed by Lance, James heads to the floor for a break. We’ll try Monty instead and it’s the same result minus the break.
Off to Apolo who is a short but well built guy who was a big star in Puerto Rico but he just kind of left TNA one day and was never heard from again. Monty, the biggest star in this match (at this point) gets beaten back and forth for a few minutes like a pinball. It’s FINALLY off to Kip who has a bit more luck. Now we get to the meat of the match with Hoyt in trouble, which is an acceptable option.
Brown and Kip take turns on the big man, trying to keep him down with work on the knee. Brown keeps him in the ring with pure raw power, which is the best thing for a guy like him to do. Off to Kip and he immediately screws up, getting caught in a double clothesline which allows the double tag to bring in Brown and Apolo. Apolo cleans house but gets caught in the Fameasser. That gets James nowhere as he walks into a big boot and the moonsault from Hoyt but Brown knocks him to the floor. Apolo superkicks Kip down but turns around into the Pounce from Brown for the pin.
Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it wasn’t as bad as the opener. Brown was a war machine but he kept getting stuck in stupid matches like this instead of having a big continued push. He wouldn’t have been a great champion but he would have been a solid challenger, kind of like a muscular JBL. This was decent enough though.
Team Canada is without Coach D’Amore due to an injury he has. Petey tries to pep up the team instead and everyone talks about their respective matches tonight.
Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin
Unless I’m mistaken, they play the wrong music here and Petey comes out to Abyss’ music at first. Sabin was supposed to face Shocker but AAA pulled Shocker out so Williams is the replacement. Sabin works on the arm to start and takes Petey down with an armdrag. They head to the floor for nothing but Sabin comes back in with a middle rope elbow. They head back outside but Chris’ sunset bomb off the apron is blocked.
Sabin tries a dive off the apron but hits barricade to give the advantage to the Canadian. Back in now and Williams puts him into the Tree of Woe for O Canada. A backbreaker gets two for Williams but Sabin starts his comeback with shots to the ribs. Petey is like screw that and hits a big DDT for another two. Off to a chinlock as the fans do their dueling chants thing.
Petey chokes away as Tenay talks about September 11 and Hurricane Katrina. Sabin gets in a kick to the back of the head and everyone is down. Chris gets up first and fires off forearms before they trade chops. Sabin takes over with kicks and a fisherman’s buster for two. Cradle Shock and the Destroyer are both countered but Williams grabs a Sharpshooter.
Sabin gets to the ropes and Petey is getting frustrated. A tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Chris and both guys are down again. The Canadian hits a Russian legsweep on the American for no cover. The Destroyer is broken up again but Sabin’s missile dropkick misses. The Sharpshooter goes on again but it’s worse than Rock’s. After that gets broken up, Petey misses a charge into the corner and Sabin drives him into the corner again. The Cradle Shock is broken up again, as is the third Destroyer attempt. Cradle Shock (a fireman’s carry into a kind of piledriver) finally hits for the pin for Sabin.
Rating: B-. It’s Sabin vs. Williams. Were you expecting anything but a good and solid match here? The X-Division was on fire at this point and they could have some random matches like this one or the one earlier and have a good match out of it. Good stuff here and considering there was no story to it, this was pretty impressive.
Matt Bentley returns post match and superkicks both guys. He wants an Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory which I think he wound up getting.
We recap Sabu vs. Abyss. This is fallout from a tag match last month that I don’t remember at all. They’re both violent and that’s about it.
Sabu vs. Abyss
James Mitchell wants to make it No DQ and of course it is. Sabu fires away with right hands but they have next to no effect. Abyss throws him around but Sabu keeps coming, likely due to his history of head trauma. A big boot puts Sabu down but he keeps coming back with chops. The fans want tables less than two minutes into the match. Does foreplay mean nothing to these people?
Instead Sabu gets a chair and pounds away with it, including hitting an Arabian Facebuster with it for two. A clothesline puts both of them on the floor and there’s the table. That one is broken though (as in it broke while he was setting it up) so Abyss sets up one of his own. Sabu uses the distraction to hit a flip dive over the top rope and out onto Abyss. They head back in and Sabu charges straight into a backdrop through the two tables at ringside. That’s a bad stretch of luck for him there.
Abyss sets up a table in the ring but takes FOREVER to do it, allowing Sabu to come back with chair shots to the head. Now the fans want thumbtacks. These people are never satisfied. Sabu goes up top with the chair and drives Abyss through the table for three, but Mitchell puts Abyss’ foot on the rope. You know, because in a match based on pure carnage, a foot on the rope is good enough to break it up.
Abyss goes under the ring and gets the tacks which are spread on the mat. They take turns teasing going into the tacks for a bit until Sabu whacks Abyss with a chair. That gets nowhere so Sabu springboards into a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks for the pin with no feet on the ropes this time.
Rating: C+. It’s Abyss vs. Sabu in a hardcore match. What else were you expecting here? They beat on each other with weapons for awhile, Sabu got thrown around a lot, Abyss got hit in the head with a lot of stuff, and someone got thrown into the tacks. What else were you expecting here? The match was just ok but eventually they would have a solid hardcore match with barbed wire everywhere which was a lot better.
Sean Waltman isn’t here tonight so Alex Shelley, the partner he won the Chris Candido Memorial Tag Team Tournament with, will be getting his title match with someone else.
Tenay and West talk about what we just heard.
Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
Geez wouldn’t THIS be a different match today? Hardy is back in the ring after a few months away, I believe doing a no show. They trade clotheslines to start as Hardy tries to use his speed against the power guy of Team Canada. Well the second power guy of Team Canada as A-1 took that spot from him. Roode heads to the floor and Hardy dives onto him to take over. Back in and Hardy loads up Whisper in the Wind but Bobby pulls him onto the ropes to break it up.
A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Bobby as he starts working on the back. Scratch that as it’s a neck crank instead. He switches that up and puts a knee in Jeff’s back and pulls on the arms instead. Hardy comes back with a sunset flip for two but Roode rolls out and hits a low dropkick of all things to take over again. Belly to back suplex gets two. Jeff gets in some right hands and the Whisper in the Wind hits this time for two.
Roode goes back to the back of Hardy but Jeff sweeps the leg and drops his legs between Roode’s legs to slow Roode down again. Jeff goes up but Petey Williams pops up with a hockey stick shot to break up the Swanton. Roode’s superplex attempt is broken up so he runs the ropes like Angle and hits a superplex for a delayed two.
The hockey stick comes in but Jeff kicks him in the ribs and hits the Twist to take Roode down and out to the floor. Jeff loads up a Swanton to the floor but Roode moves before the jump. Petey tries the Destroyer on the floor but Jeff escapes. Now Jeff Jarrett comes out (Hardy attacked Jarrett last month) and blasts the other Jeff with the hockey stick and rolls Roode in for the pin.
Rating: C-. Roode was next to nothing at this point but he was starting to get better. Obviously he would get WAY better eventually as would Hardy, but at this point it was a midcard match. Hardy and Jarrett wouldn’t do much for awhile as they had had their big match almost a year earlier. Not much here but I could think of many worse ways to spend ten minutes.
We recap the tag title match. There was an eight man tag last month between the Naturals (champions), AMW, and Team Canada. Tonight it’s those three teams plus the winners of the Candido tournament in an elimination match. That’s about it.
Jimmy Hart and the Naturals say they’ll keep the belts. AMW comes up for a glare and Storm says his catchphrase.
Tag Titles: The Naturals vs. America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada vs. Alex Shelley/???
The Canadians are Eric Young and A-1 here. The Naturals (Andy Douglas with the black hair and Chase Stevens with the blonde) come out with a towel like Chris Candido always had. He was their manager too so that’s a very nice touch. This is elimination rules too. Shelley has no partner here. It’s a big brawl to start until it’s Stevens vs. Storm get us going. Shelley quickly tags himself in to try to steal a pin on Stevens but it only gets two.
Stevens fights back and A-1 hits a knee to Shelley’s back to make sure Stevens isn’t in trouble. That doesn’t sit well with Chase but while he’s yelling, Eric Young tags himself in and beats on Shelley. Off to A-1 for a chop in the corner and a suplex for two. Back to Eric with a front facelock and the double teaming continues. The announcers rip Waltman to no end but Shelley hits a Stunner to Young and a DDT to A-1 at the same time. Johnny Candido, Chris’ brother, jumps over the barricade and gets on the apron to be Shelley’s partner. Not that it matters as he’s almost immediately hit low and rolled up for the pin.
We’re down to three now and it’s Storm vs. Young. There’s the Eye of the Storm for two as AMW is in control. Out to the floor with A-1 interfering again to take over. Back inside and Young gets a suplex for two before A-1 comes in for some choking. Young hooks a chinlock as this match is starting to get dull. Storm FINALLY superkicks Young down and dives for the hot tag to Harris.
Wildcat cleans house and hits a Thesz Press to A-1. Bulldog takes the same guy down but A-1 breaks up the Catatonic. Harris hooks a pretty nice delayed vertical for two on A-1 but as he loads the same move up on Young, A-1 hits him in the back with the hockey stick. Young rolls up Harris for the pin and it’s down to two teams. Stevens comes in again and drops a bunch of legs on Young for two.
Back to Douglas and Young gets the advantage back with some choking. Jimmy leads USA chants on the floor but Douglas gets caught in a Samoan Drop for two. They head to the floor and Eric shoves Jimmy down. That’s crossing a line brother. Douglas hits a jumping knee out of nowhere and there’s the hot tag to Stevens.
The comeback is short lived as A-1 powerbombs the tar out of Stevens to stop him cold. Everything breaks down and Young superplexes Douglas for two. The Canadians load up a Doomsday Device but Jimmy pays them back for attacking him earlier. Young gets crotched and the Natural Disaster to the steak sauce man gets the pin to retain the belts.
Rating: C+. This was ok but it started dragging a lot at times. The stuff with Shelley was a mess but at the same time that wasn’t his fault, due to Waltman no showing. The Naturals were good and having Hart with them helped more than anything else they could have done for themselves. Decent match here but it ran longer than it needed to. At the end of the day, you can only see these people face each other so many times, which is what happened with the Naturals vs. AMW.
Bound For Glory ad.
Rhyno blasts the WWE and says that he’ll win tonight.
We recap the world title match. Rhyno debuted two months ago by Goring Raven through a table. Last month he got a pin in a tag match over Raven to get this title match. That’s about it and Jarrett is lurking for the winner.
NWA World Title: Raven vs. Rhyno
This is No DQ and Raven is defending. Raven brings in his shopping cart full of weapons as is his custom. The weapons are brought in almost immediately and Rhyno bails. He finds a kendo stick from somewhere but stalls more anyway. Raven’s Rules include falls count anywhere apparently. They both have sticks and it’s time for a duel. I don’t think Thesz and Brisco ever did anything like that other than that one show in Boston back in 63. Rhyno knocks him down and chokes with something we can’t see. Apparently it was a nunchuck.
Raven comes back with a pizza cutter to bust Rhyno open. The fans chant that they want pizza. WELL GO BUY IT YOU FREAKING TIGHTWADS! You didn’t pay for a ticket so go buy yourselves a slice! They head to the floor and Raven rams him into a keg. WHY IS THERE A BEER KEG? Either way Rhyno is busted open and Raven finds a ladder. Rhyno hits him with the keg and Raven hits him with the kendo stick. Some cane shots to the back get two.
Raven puts on an ankle lock but Rhyno makes a rope. He slugs Bird Boy to the floor and pops him in the back with a chair a few times. Back inside and Raven is busted open by a garbage can shot. Rhyno does a Joe Face Wash in the corner but Raven grabs the foot for the ankle lock again. Rhyno shrugs that off and pulls out the staple gun. He staples the head of Raven, right on the cut. They didn’t even do that back in Boston in 63.
Rhyno goes up but misses a splash, hitting a chair instead. They slug it out with Raven taking over via the discus lariat. A knee lift puts Rhyno down in the corner and there’s the bulldog for two. Rhyno fights back and here’s Cassidy Riley (Raven worshipper) to help but his distraction means Raven’s DDT only gets two. Rhyno sets up the ladder against a chair like a ramp and then pounds away in the corner on Raven in front of it. If you don’t know what’s coming here, you’re an idiot. That only gets two and both guys are spent.
Rhyno seesaws the ladder into Raven’s face and the champ is in even more trouble than he was before. That also gets two so Rhyno brings the shopping cart inside. This is starting to look like their Backlash 2001 Hardcore Title match which is a good thing. Raven rams him into the cart and avoids the Gore, sending it into the cart. That’s right out of the 01 match and here’s Jarrett. He loads up a belt shot but Jeff Hardy comes down to take the belt away. Raven DDTs Jarrett and Rhyno to retain.
Rating: B-. Decent brawl here but it was too messy for my tastes. Raven was a good champion but him being off TV makes him mostly forgotten. That’s a shame too because he breathed some fresh air into the main event scene. He would lose the title four days later in Canada at some other NWA event, likely because the NWA thought it was a good idea. Anyway, decent match but nothing great.
We recap the main event. Daniels is champion and Joe won the shot last month over AJ. They threw Styles in there anyway and this is the result. Not much else needs to be said.
X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.
AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.
Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.
Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.
Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.
The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.
Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.
Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.
Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.
Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.
Daniels looking up from his knees and shouting NO is the perfect way to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. The show is good overall but it’s not a masterpiece. At the end of the day, everything other than the main event is ok but there’s nothing worth seeing aside from that. The main event is an absolute classic for the speed and workrate alone. This is probably the company’s best period ever and it’s a shame that it wasn’t on TV at all. Pretty good show here but the large majority of the worth of it is on the main event. The rest is pretty skippable.
With that, I’ve reviewed every three hour TNA pay per view (this is being written with Slammiversary 2012 being the most recent PPV). I know there are a lot of the two hour shows and I’ve got the first seventeen scheduled already so they’re coming soon. As for TNA, as a whole I think there are more bad/weak PPVs than good ones, but some of them are very good. There are some excellent shows such as Slammiversary 2012, Sacrifice 2007 and Bound For Glory 2011 among others.
In short, TNA is just like most wrestling companies. The PPVs can be hit or miss but it depends on what you have going into them. The problem in the early days of the shows was that they didn’t have a lot of material to fill the cards out with, but that was due to them only having an hour a week for TV. TNA has since fixed a lot of their original issues but like any other company they’ll continue to have ups and downs for years.
The best period is probably 2005-2006 before Angle got there and the company started to evolve into something more like a WWE style company. Whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate, but the company has grown up a lot over the years. At the moment things are on a hot streak but that could change at any given moment. Overall the shows are probably more bad than good, but there are great TNA shows and they’re worth checking out if you can find them in full.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:
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On This Day: September 10, 2012 – Monday Night Raw: The Scariest Thing Ever On Raw
Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show. My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.
Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.
Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.
Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.
Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth
Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.
Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.
Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.
We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.
We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.
Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla
Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.
AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.
Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.
Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.
Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.
Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..
Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk
Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.
He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.
A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.
Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.
Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.
We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.
Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.
Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.
Heath Slater vs. Ryback
Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.
The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.
Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players
Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.
There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.
They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.
Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.
We recap the opening segment.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd
Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.
Del Rio says he’ll win the title.
Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.
Sheamus vs. David Otunga
Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.
Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.
This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.
Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.
The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.
Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.
We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.
Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.
Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.
Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.
Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.
Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.
Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.
Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.
Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.
Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.
Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own. He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight. LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.
Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro
Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox
Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler
Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock
Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane
Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf
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Hell in a Cell 2010: The Last Smackdown Main Event
Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results beforehand. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.
Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.
The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.
US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison
Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.
Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.
Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.
Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.
Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.
Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.
Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.
Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.
Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.
We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.
The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.
Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?
Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.
Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.
Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!
Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.
Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?
Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.
Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.
Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.
Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.
Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.
Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.
Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!
Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.
Jack Swagger vs. Edge
Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.
When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.
Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.
Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.
Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.
Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.
John Cena vs. Wade Barrett
If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.
We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.
Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.
Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.
FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.
Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.
Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.
Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.
Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.
Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.
Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.
Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.
Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker
Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.
A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.
We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.
And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.
Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.
These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.
OverallRating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.
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