On This Day: September 11, 2005 – Unbreakable: TNA’s Greatest Moment

Unbreakable
Date: September 11, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

For those of you that keep track, this is the final TNA PPV that I haven’t done. The reason I chose this one for the last spot is the main event, which is universally considered the best TNA match of all time. Meltzer gave it five stars and I have yet to hear anyone say anything bad about it. The interesting thing is this is during the dark ages for the company, as they’re off TV here and wouldn’t get back on for another three weeks or so. Due to that and the main event, the rest of the show is almost totally forgotten. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is themed like an old school radio announcer and how TNA is the new national pastime. It runs down the main events, which also includes Raven vs. Rhyno for the title. That and the triple threat are the only matches mentioned. I liked this and the stupid idea was kind of cute.

3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough

The Diamonds are Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young. After Konnan does his usual schtick, Elix and BG start things off. This was the same pairing that started off the match at the previous PPV I did. Elix uses his speed to control early but BG comes back with the same moveset he’s been using for years. Young tries to come in and gets double teamed by Killings and James. Back to Skipper and the Diamonds get in some triple team action on the former Road Dogg. Seriously, that’s what they call him quite a few times. BG escapes, hot tags Konnan, a shoe is thrown and the X-Factor pins Young. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? It was like four minutes long and the match sucked. This was a horrible choice for an opener but I guess the fans are happy with the ending. The Diamonds were a really weak mini stable and I don’t think anyone ever cared about them in any way, shape or form. Really bad choice to start the show here.

We recap the preshow with Brown, Jarrett and Hardy all wanting the BFG title match. That would go to Kevin Nash on paper but Rhyno in reality.

Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong

Aries takes him to the mat immediately as the fans chant about Generation Next. West explains that they’re stable mates in ROH as Strong takes over again. Aries (who looks really weird without his mustache) nips up and takes over again. A dropkick sets up a headlock on the mat for Aries as Austin is in control. Strong tries the Strong Hold but Aries spins out of it and we get a standoff.

Aries’ monkey flip is countered and Strong busts out the backbreakers. He throws Aries into the buckle for two and follows it up with a butterfly suplex for the same. Another backbreaker gets two and Strong stays on the back. He mixes it up by putting on a full nelson with his legs, only to get rolled up for two. Strong goes to a safer chinlock but Aries pops up. That gets him nowhere though as Roderick dropkicks him down for two.

Strong is continuing his career run of not being that interesting in the ring with this match. Aries comes back with a clothesline and hits the Pendulum Elbow for two. The slingshot spinning splash gets the same and Strong is in trouble. A backbreaker out of nowhere (he’s the Messiah of them you know) gets Strong control again and the double knee gutbuster gets a VERY close two. Aries blocks the Strong Hold and hits the corner dropkick. The brainbuster sets up the 450 for the pin on Strong.

Rating: B-. Fun match but it came and went. There’s nothing else to this one at all with no story behind it or anything. This was a way for these guys to get out there and fly around a little bit which worked, but it doesn’t advance anything or prove anything. It was a good match and that’s all it was supposed to be though.

Monty Brown isn’t worried about teaming with Kip James. Cue Kip who says Monty should apologize to Jarrett for wanting a title match. Monty says no so Kip says get your head in the game. Brown says his catchphrase and that’s about it.

Monty Brown/Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt/Apolo

James/Brown injured Apolo’s normal partner Sonny Siaki so this is about revenge. Hoyt and Kip start and this could get bad in a hurry. Lance is a big guy with some agility but he needs someone to work well off of. Kip tries his usual stuff but can’t do anything against Hoyt’s power. After getting slammed by Lance, James heads to the floor for a break. We’ll try Monty instead and it’s the same result minus the break.

Off to Apolo who is a short but well built guy who was a big star in Puerto Rico but he just kind of left TNA one day and was never heard from again. Monty, the biggest star in this match (at this point) gets beaten back and forth for a few minutes like a pinball. It’s FINALLY off to Kip who has a bit more luck. Now we get to the meat of the match with Hoyt in trouble, which is an acceptable option.

Brown and Kip take turns on the big man, trying to keep him down with work on the knee. Brown keeps him in the ring with pure raw power, which is the best thing for a guy like him to do. Off to Kip and he immediately screws up, getting caught in a double clothesline which allows the double tag to bring in Brown and Apolo. Apolo cleans house but gets caught in the Fameasser. That gets James nowhere as he walks into a big boot and the moonsault from Hoyt but Brown knocks him to the floor. Apolo superkicks Kip down but turns around into the Pounce from Brown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it wasn’t as bad as the opener. Brown was a war machine but he kept getting stuck in stupid matches like this instead of having a big continued push. He wouldn’t have been a great champion but he would have been a solid challenger, kind of like a muscular JBL. This was decent enough though.

Team Canada is without Coach D’Amore due to an injury he has. Petey tries to pep up the team instead and everyone talks about their respective matches tonight.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

Unless I’m mistaken, they play the wrong music here and Petey comes out to Abyss’ music at first. Sabin was supposed to face Shocker but AAA pulled Shocker out so Williams is the replacement. Sabin works on the arm to start and takes Petey down with an armdrag. They head to the floor for nothing but Sabin comes back in with a middle rope elbow. They head back outside but Chris’ sunset bomb off the apron is blocked.

Sabin tries a dive off the apron but hits barricade to give the advantage to the Canadian. Back in now and Williams puts him into the Tree of Woe for O Canada. A backbreaker gets two for Williams but Sabin starts his comeback with shots to the ribs. Petey is like screw that and hits a big DDT for another two. Off to a chinlock as the fans do their dueling chants thing.

Petey chokes away as Tenay talks about September 11 and Hurricane Katrina. Sabin gets in a kick to the back of the head and everyone is down. Chris gets up first and fires off forearms before they trade chops. Sabin takes over with kicks and a fisherman’s buster for two. Cradle Shock and the Destroyer are both countered but Williams grabs a Sharpshooter.

Sabin gets to the ropes and Petey is getting frustrated. A tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Chris and both guys are down again. The Canadian hits a Russian legsweep on the American for no cover. The Destroyer is broken up again but Sabin’s missile dropkick misses. The Sharpshooter goes on again but it’s worse than Rock’s. After that gets broken up, Petey misses a charge into the corner and Sabin drives him into the corner again. The Cradle Shock is broken up again, as is the third Destroyer attempt. Cradle Shock (a fireman’s carry into a kind of piledriver) finally hits for the pin for Sabin.

Rating: B-. It’s Sabin vs. Williams. Were you expecting anything but a good and solid match here? The X-Division was on fire at this point and they could have some random matches like this one or the one earlier and have a good match out of it. Good stuff here and considering there was no story to it, this was pretty impressive.

Matt Bentley returns post match and superkicks both guys. He wants an Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory which I think he wound up getting.

We recap Sabu vs. Abyss. This is fallout from a tag match last month that I don’t remember at all. They’re both violent and that’s about it.

Sabu vs. Abyss

James Mitchell wants to make it No DQ and of course it is. Sabu fires away with right hands but they have next to no effect. Abyss throws him around but Sabu keeps coming, likely due to his history of head trauma. A big boot puts Sabu down but he keeps coming back with chops. The fans want tables less than two minutes into the match. Does foreplay mean nothing to these people?

Instead Sabu gets a chair and pounds away with it, including hitting an Arabian Facebuster with it for two. A clothesline puts both of them on the floor and there’s the table. That one is broken though (as in it broke while he was setting it up) so Abyss sets up one of his own. Sabu uses the distraction to hit a flip dive over the top rope and out onto Abyss. They head back in and Sabu charges straight into a backdrop through the two tables at ringside. That’s a bad stretch of luck for him there.

Abyss sets up a table in the ring but takes FOREVER to do it, allowing Sabu to come back with chair shots to the head. Now the fans want thumbtacks. These people are never satisfied. Sabu goes up top with the chair and drives Abyss through the table for three, but Mitchell puts Abyss’ foot on the rope. You know, because in a match based on pure carnage, a foot on the rope is good enough to break it up.

Abyss goes under the ring and gets the tacks which are spread on the mat. They take turns teasing going into the tacks for a bit until Sabu whacks Abyss with a chair. That gets nowhere so Sabu springboards into a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks for the pin with no feet on the ropes this time.

Rating: C+. It’s Abyss vs. Sabu in a hardcore match. What else were you expecting here? They beat on each other with weapons for awhile, Sabu got thrown around a lot, Abyss got hit in the head with a lot of stuff, and someone got thrown into the tacks. What else were you expecting here? The match was just ok but eventually they would have a solid hardcore match with barbed wire everywhere which was a lot better.

Sean Waltman isn’t here tonight so Alex Shelley, the partner he won the Chris Candido Memorial Tag Team Tournament with, will be getting his title match with someone else.

Tenay and West talk about what we just heard.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy

Geez wouldn’t THIS be a different match today? Hardy is back in the ring after a few months away, I believe doing a no show. They trade clotheslines to start as Hardy tries to use his speed against the power guy of Team Canada. Well the second power guy of Team Canada as A-1 took that spot from him. Roode heads to the floor and Hardy dives onto him to take over. Back in and Hardy loads up Whisper in the Wind but Bobby pulls him onto the ropes to break it up.

A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Bobby as he starts working on the back. Scratch that as it’s a neck crank instead. He switches that up and puts a knee in Jeff’s back and pulls on the arms instead. Hardy comes back with a sunset flip for two but Roode rolls out and hits a low dropkick of all things to take over again. Belly to back suplex gets two. Jeff gets in some right hands and the Whisper in the Wind hits this time for two.

Roode goes back to the back of Hardy but Jeff sweeps the leg and drops his legs between Roode’s legs to slow Roode down again. Jeff goes up but Petey Williams pops up with a hockey stick shot to break up the Swanton. Roode’s superplex attempt is broken up so he runs the ropes like Angle and hits a superplex for a delayed two.

The hockey stick comes in but Jeff kicks him in the ribs and hits the Twist to take Roode down and out to the floor. Jeff loads up a Swanton to the floor but Roode moves before the jump. Petey tries the Destroyer on the floor but Jeff escapes. Now Jeff Jarrett comes out (Hardy attacked Jarrett last month) and blasts the other Jeff with the hockey stick and rolls Roode in for the pin.

Rating: C-. Roode was next to nothing at this point but he was starting to get better. Obviously he would get WAY better eventually as would Hardy, but at this point it was a midcard match. Hardy and Jarrett wouldn’t do much for awhile as they had had their big match almost a year earlier. Not much here but I could think of many worse ways to spend ten minutes.

We recap the tag title match. There was an eight man tag last month between the Naturals (champions), AMW, and Team Canada. Tonight it’s those three teams plus the winners of the Candido tournament in an elimination match. That’s about it.

Jimmy Hart and the Naturals say they’ll keep the belts. AMW comes up for a glare and Storm says his catchphrase.

Tag Titles: The Naturals vs. America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada vs. Alex Shelley/???

The Canadians are Eric Young and A-1 here. The Naturals (Andy Douglas with the black hair and Chase Stevens with the blonde) come out with a towel like Chris Candido always had. He was their manager too so that’s a very nice touch. This is elimination rules too. Shelley has no partner here. It’s a big brawl to start until it’s Stevens vs. Storm get us going. Shelley quickly tags himself in to try to steal a pin on Stevens but it only gets two.

Stevens fights back and A-1 hits a knee to Shelley’s back to make sure Stevens isn’t in trouble. That doesn’t sit well with Chase but while he’s yelling, Eric Young tags himself in and beats on Shelley. Off to A-1 for a chop in the corner and a suplex for two. Back to Eric with a front facelock and the double teaming continues. The announcers rip Waltman to no end but Shelley hits a Stunner to Young and a DDT to A-1 at the same time. Johnny Candido, Chris’ brother, jumps over the barricade and gets on the apron to be Shelley’s partner. Not that it matters as he’s almost immediately hit low and rolled up for the pin.

We’re down to three now and it’s Storm vs. Young. There’s the Eye of the Storm for two as AMW is in control. Out to the floor with A-1 interfering again to take over. Back inside and Young gets a suplex for two before A-1 comes in for some choking. Young hooks a chinlock as this match is starting to get dull. Storm FINALLY superkicks Young down and dives for the hot tag to Harris.

Wildcat cleans house and hits a Thesz Press to A-1. Bulldog takes the same guy down but A-1 breaks up the Catatonic. Harris hooks a pretty nice delayed vertical for two on A-1 but as he loads the same move up on Young, A-1 hits him in the back with the hockey stick. Young rolls up Harris for the pin and it’s down to two teams. Stevens comes in again and drops a bunch of legs on Young for two.

Back to Douglas and Young gets the advantage back with some choking. Jimmy leads USA chants on the floor but Douglas gets caught in a Samoan Drop for two. They head to the floor and Eric shoves Jimmy down. That’s crossing a line brother. Douglas hits a jumping knee out of nowhere and there’s the hot tag to Stevens.

The comeback is short lived as A-1 powerbombs the tar out of Stevens to stop him cold. Everything breaks down and Young superplexes Douglas for two. The Canadians load up a Doomsday Device but Jimmy pays them back for attacking him earlier. Young gets crotched and the Natural Disaster to the steak sauce man gets the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: C+. This was ok but it started dragging a lot at times. The stuff with Shelley was a mess but at the same time that wasn’t his fault, due to Waltman no showing. The Naturals were good and having Hart with them helped more than anything else they could have done for themselves. Decent match here but it ran longer than it needed to. At the end of the day, you can only see these people face each other so many times, which is what happened with the Naturals vs. AMW.

Bound For Glory ad.

Rhyno blasts the WWE and says that he’ll win tonight.

We recap the world title match. Rhyno debuted two months ago by Goring Raven through a table. Last month he got a pin in a tag match over Raven to get this title match. That’s about it and Jarrett is lurking for the winner.

NWA World Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

This is No DQ and Raven is defending. Raven brings in his shopping cart full of weapons as is his custom. The weapons are brought in almost immediately and Rhyno bails. He finds a kendo stick from somewhere but stalls more anyway. Raven’s Rules include falls count anywhere apparently. They both have sticks and it’s time for a duel. I don’t think Thesz and Brisco ever did anything like that other than that one show in Boston back in 63. Rhyno knocks him down and chokes with something we can’t see. Apparently it was a nunchuck.

Raven comes back with a pizza cutter to bust Rhyno open. The fans chant that they want pizza. WELL GO BUY IT YOU FREAKING TIGHTWADS! You didn’t pay for a ticket so go buy yourselves a slice! They head to the floor and Raven rams him into a keg. WHY IS THERE A BEER KEG? Either way Rhyno is busted open and Raven finds a ladder. Rhyno hits him with the keg and Raven hits him with the kendo stick. Some cane shots to the back get two.

Raven puts on an ankle lock but Rhyno makes a rope. He slugs Bird Boy to the floor and pops him in the back with a chair a few times. Back inside and Raven is busted open by a garbage can shot. Rhyno does a Joe Face Wash in the corner but Raven grabs the foot for the ankle lock again. Rhyno shrugs that off and pulls out the staple gun. He staples the head of Raven, right on the cut. They didn’t even do that back in Boston in 63.

Rhyno goes up but misses a splash, hitting a chair instead. They slug it out with Raven taking over via the discus lariat. A knee lift puts Rhyno down in the corner and there’s the bulldog for two. Rhyno fights back and here’s Cassidy Riley (Raven worshipper) to help but his distraction means Raven’s DDT only gets two. Rhyno sets up the ladder against a chair like a ramp and then pounds away in the corner on Raven in front of it. If you don’t know what’s coming here, you’re an idiot. That only gets two and both guys are spent.

Rhyno seesaws the ladder into Raven’s face and the champ is in even more trouble than he was before. That also gets two so Rhyno brings the shopping cart inside. This is starting to look like their Backlash 2001 Hardcore Title match which is a good thing. Raven rams him into the cart and avoids the Gore, sending it into the cart. That’s right out of the 01 match and here’s Jarrett. He loads up a belt shot but Jeff Hardy comes down to take the belt away. Raven DDTs Jarrett and Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B-. Decent brawl here but it was too messy for my tastes. Raven was a good champion but him being off TV makes him mostly forgotten. That’s a shame too because he breathed some fresh air into the main event scene. He would lose the title four days later in Canada at some other NWA event, likely because the NWA thought it was a good idea. Anyway, decent match but nothing great.

We recap the main event. Daniels is champion and Joe won the shot last month over AJ. They threw Styles in there anyway and this is the result. Not much else needs to be said.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.

AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.

Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.

Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.

Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.

The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.

Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.

Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.

Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.

Daniels looking up from his knees and shouting NO is the perfect way to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show is good overall but it’s not a masterpiece. At the end of the day, everything other than the main event is ok but there’s nothing worth seeing aside from that. The main event is an absolute classic for the speed and workrate alone. This is probably the company’s best period ever and it’s a shame that it wasn’t on TV at all. Pretty good show here but the large majority of the worth of it is on the main event. The rest is pretty skippable.

With that, I’ve reviewed every three hour TNA pay per view (this is being written with Slammiversary 2012 being the most recent PPV). I know there are a lot of the two hour shows and I’ve got the first seventeen scheduled already so they’re coming soon. As for TNA, as a whole I think there are more bad/weak PPVs than good ones, but some of them are very good. There are some excellent shows such as Slammiversary 2012, Sacrifice 2007 and Bound For Glory 2011 among others.

In short, TNA is just like most wrestling companies. The PPVs can be hit or miss but it depends on what you have going into them. The problem in the early days of the shows was that they didn’t have a lot of material to fill the cards out with, but that was due to them only having an hour a week for TV. TNA has since fixed a lot of their original issues but like any other company they’ll continue to have ups and downs for years.

The best period is probably 2005-2006 before Angle got there and the company started to evolve into something more like a WWE style company. Whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate, but the company has grown up a lot over the years. At the moment things are on a hot streak but that could change at any given moment. Overall the shows are probably more bad than good, but there are great TNA shows and they’re worth checking out if you can find them in full.

 

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On This Day: September 10, 2012 – Monday Night Raw: The Scariest Thing Ever On Raw

Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show. My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own. He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight. LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Hell in a Cell 2010: The Last Smackdown Main Event

Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results beforehand. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

Overall Rating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Thought of the Day: Make Their Jaw Drop

This is a tale of a Christmas from long ago.About eight years or so ago I was watching Tribute to the Troops when my dad came over.  Now my dad is the kind of guy that doesn’t impress easily.  He thinks everything was cooler when he was younger and that very little entertainment today is actually entertaining.  When he came over, John Cena was lifting Big Show up for the AA.  My dad’s jaw dropped and he was clearly impressed.

 

The moral to the story: show us something impressive that is going to catch some eyes, not the same stuff that is only going to interest people already watching.  More on this topic when I have a bit more time.




Monday Night Raw – September 9, 2013: BRYAN DID IT!

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2013
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Bizarro Land tonight with three stories for the show. First of all, Edge is back for one show only to promote the season premiere of his TV show Haven and likely cutting a big promo on what’s going on in WWE at the moment. Other than that we have Goldust returning to fight for his brother’s job against Randy Orton in a match that will be more interesting for the story than the wrestling. On top of that it’s the go home show for Night of Champions so we’ll get the final push. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Edge to open things up to a big reaction. He still has the short hair which is still strange to see from him. Chimmel even throws in an over the voice crack for old times’ sake. It’s the Cutting Edge which is back due to a request from HHH. The boss wanted to have Edge back to talk with his old partner. Not Christian, but Randy Orton. Edge however doesn’t see anything interesting in Randy Orton because Edge made cashing in MITB cool.

Orton is just a puppet who has Shield do his fighting for him. Therefore, Orton won’t be the guest tonight. The guest will be someone good for business (Edge: “Say YES if you agree with me”): Daniel Bryan. As Bryan comes out, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Big Show knocking Bryan out cold.

Bryan says having this many people chanting your name helps because he’s taken a lot of TripleBombs, a lot of RKOs and a lot of Knock Out punches. No matter how many times HHH holds him down though, he’ll be WWE Champion. Edge says Bryan deserves a fair shot at Orton and asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy. Can he shove it in HHH’s face and become WWE Champion? Can Bryan become the face of the WWE? Bryan is about to say yes but here’s Orton for an interruption.

Orton calls it a shame that Edge can only get a reaction in a place like Canada. Edge thinks Orton acts like an entirely different body part than a face. The Ortons have a history of long running medical problems. Bob had a bad arm forever and Orton has no spine. HHH has made Orton his puppet. As great a mind as HHH has for the business, he’s flat out bad at picking talent. This brings out HHH but Edge cuts him off, reminding HHH that he (Edge) can’t get in trouble because he doesn’t work here. HHH has said that Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena had no future so why should we believe what HHH says about Bryan?

HHH plugs Haven on Friday and admits that he was wrong about Jericho and Cena, but he was right about Edge being a failure. The bottom line is that the experiment of the Rated R Superstar was a failure because he never drew a dime. At the end of the day, the best way to shut up HHH is to prove him wrong. Bryan is going to get that chance by facing Dean Ambrose here tonight.

Since Dean will have Shield in his corner, Bryan can have Big Show in his corner. HHH says he isn’t a dictator, but Edge cuts him off by saying he earned his Hall of Fame ring instead of marrying into it. The boss says it’s easy to talk when you know no one can come down there and hurt you, but maybe he can hurt the ones Edge loves. Here’s Shield dragging out an unconscious Christian as we go to a break.

Back from a break with Edge storming in on HHH and Stephanie but Shield jumps between them. Edge wants to be cleared for one night only so he can take HHH apart. HHH wants to know who Edge thinks he is by storming into his city (HHH’s) of Toronto like this. He tells Edge to get out of this town and off of his show, threatening him with Shield.

Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title here. Axel hammers away on Kofi and hits a quick dropkick for two. Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a spinning chop to take Axel down. The SOS gets a quick two but Curtis grabs the rope to escape. Axel heads to the floor but comes back in to pound on Kofi in the corner, eventually drawing a DQ at 2:14.

Heyman yells at Axel that this can’t happen on Sunday. Axel goes over to Kofi but gets his head kicked off.

Video on Goldust to hype up his match with Orton.

Medics look at Heyman’s leg in the back due to him slipping on some water earlier. I smell goldbricking.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Bryan vs. Big Show and Bryan being laid out. Again.

Booker T comes up to Big Show in the back and talks about everything that big Show wants to do to everyone tonight. Show needs to remember his daughter and his family when he’s out there tonight. He can’t let his pride make him make a mistake. Show says pride is all he has left.

Wyatt Family promo.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the upgrade for Bray. Wyatt pounds Ziggler down to start and shouts GAME OVER. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but Bray runs through him as we take a quick break. Back with Ziggy fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an elbow to the jaw. Off to a reverse chinlock but Ziggler fights out and pounds away with everything he can throw. The dropkick and Fameasser gets two but Ziggler has to avoid the Family, allowing Bray to crush him in the corner. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 6:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was pretty much a Wyatt squash.

Video of Goldust’s comedy bits over the years, mainly with Booker T.

Heyman comes out on crutches, flanked by Curtis Axel and a guy who could be Damien Sandow’s twin but is actually a doctor. Heyman doesn’t care for the Canadian healthcare system, which is why he’s brought along his personal physician from New York City. Apparently Heyman has torn his meniscus or ACL from slipping on the water. Therefore, he’s out of the match with Punk on Sunday.

This brings out Maddox with the famed Dr. Samson for an official WWE medical examination. Heyman is told to sit in a chair for the knee examination and we have to see his bare leg. Fans: “This is awkward!” Samson checks all of the ligaments and Heyman says everything is very sore. The diagnosis is that Heyman is fine so Heyman freaks. This brings out Punk with the kendo stick and Heyman sprints off, meaning the jig is up. Punk beats up Heyman’s doctor for fun.

Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi vs. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana

AJ is on commentary as Trinity starts with Aksana. The Rear View gets a quick two as AJ talks about the Divas Title being reality. Trinity goes up top but Aksana shakes the ropes to bring her down and take over. Layla chokes Trinity on the ropes and gets two off a dropkick. AJ: “I’m too old for you Jerry. I’m 26.” Trinity finally gets in a shot to bring in Natalya vs. Alicia. Nattie cleans house as Cole talks about AJ having a 25% chance of keeping her title. AJ: “Well I had a million to one shot at making it in WWE and I main evented Raw.” Point to AJ. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter on Alicia for the win at 2:53.

Video on Goldust’s in ring accomplishments.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Del Rio easily takes Truth down to start but gets sent to the floor for a dive by the non-champion. The fans chant for the announcers as Del Rio catches Truth with the running enziguri to knock him off the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two on Truth. R comes back with a leg lariat and the sitout front suplex for two of his own. Now the chant is for Undertaker as Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl slam. The low superkick and the armbreaker are good for the win for the champion at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up Del Rio for the title defense on Sunday but it was better than expected. It can’t be a good sign when Del Rio beating a jobber to the stars is a big win for him though. A champion of any kind shouldn’t need a win like this going into a PPV. It’s not a good sign for the booking leading into the title defense.

There’s a five team Tag Team Turmoil match with the Real Americans, the Usos, 3MB, Prime Time Players and Tons of Funk for the #1 contendership this Sunday.

Zeb Colter thinks Canada is a bad neighbor but they can all be saved if they start caring about more than hockey.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro takes him down with a dropkick as soon as the bell rings. A clothesline puts Santino down but he comes back with his strikes as Cole talks about Marella’s Battle Arts Academy. Cesaro will have none of this though and hooks a giant swing with a TON of revolutions. As in this goes on for like 30 seconds. It’s STILL going!

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

Rating: F. Not for the wrestling but for the stupid booking. We announce Cesaro for a big PPV match and have him do the awesome giant swing, but the comedy goof is back so we have to give him a win for no apparent reason. Either A, wait until after the PPV match or B, USE SOMEONE ELSE. Put a 3MB guy in there (only two will be in the PPV match) or Wade Barrett or someone else not doing something. Why waste a cool moment like the giant swing for the sake of giving a comedy guy a win? Because there’s no long term thinking in the midcard and hasn’t been for years.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Miz takes over with a quick suplex but Sandow takes him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. Miz comes back with the top rope ax handle for two. Sandow avoids a low kick to the face and hits a quick Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow gets two on Miz but he comes back with a kick to the leg. Cue Fandango for a distraction, allowing Sandow to roll Miz up for the pin at 3:49. I believe that’s Sandow’s first one on one win since June.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all as neither guy has anything going for them at all. I have no idea what it is that the fans love about the “distraction leads to a rollup” finish but it’s been beaten so far into the ground that it’s hit water. Miz vs. Fandango doesn’t do anything for anyone but at least it gives them something to do.

Goldust talks about Cody living right and how he wants to make up for his past failures by saving Cody’s job tonight. HHH interrupts and says he hopes Goldie doesn’t let them down.

Randy Orton vs. Goldust

If Goldust wins, his real life brother Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Kayfabe takes another bullet as Cole talks about Dustin Rhodes coming here and being given the Goldust character instead of just being a creepy guy who does this on his own idea. JBL drops the Crockett name to confuse most people under the age of 30. Goldust gets in some quick offense and knocks Orton the floor for a breather.

Back in and Orton pounds away but misses a dropkick, giving Goldust two. Orton fires off right hands but Goldust counters the powerslam into a rollup for two. Randy rolls to the floor to avoid Shattered Dreams and we take a break. Back with Goldust sending Randy into the steps but being sent into the post to give the champion momentum all over again. Orton gets two back inside and hits the circle stomp followed by a chinlock.

Goldust fights up and hits a bulldog out of nowhere to put both guys down. The sliding uppercut staggers Orton and Goldie rains down right hands in the corner. Goldust is looking really winded as he gets two off a rollup. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into Cross Rhodes for two. Not that it matters as the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: C-. Is this supposed to be surprising on any level? On the best day of his career, Goldust was an upper midcarder at best and he’s fighting the reigning WWE Champion. Goldust has never been close to Orton’s level but we’re supposed to believe he can come out of retirement and beat him here? He looked really winded near the end too which didn’t help things.

Post match Orton says he’ll shatter Bryan’s dreams at Night of Champions.

Stephanie “consoles” Goldust by reminding him of all the people he let down and calling him a loser. Oh and tell Dusty that she says hi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback

Del Rio comes out and says that the people will be chanting ADR on Sunday. Ryback shoves Van Dam down to start but gets caught by a kick to the face. An elbow to the jaw puts Rob down and Ryback pounds away before hooking an abdominal stretch. Van Dam escapes and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for one. The top rope front flip gets two on Ryback and the top rope kick puts him down again. Ryback bails to the floor to avoid the Five Star but Rob’s dive to the floor only hits barricade. Rob is crotched against the post (barely) for the DQ at 2:58.

Ryback Shell Shocks Van Dam post match.

Stephanie tells Big Show not to touch Shield during the match tonight or he’s fired. Big Show destroys a TV.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show and Shield are at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start but Dean comes back with some chops. Daniel gets in some more kicks and Ambrose bails to the floor for a conference. Back in and Daniel kicks away even more before starting on Dean’s arm. The seated surfboard doesn’t last long as Ambrose makes the rope to escape. Bryan flips over Ambrose in the corner and hits the running clothesline followed by a single arm butterfly suplex. Bryan goes up for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Rollins and knocked into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Dean sending Bryan into the buckle but Bryan avoids a charge into the corner. There are the running dropkicks and the kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Dean avoids the big swinging kick to the head but and grabs a rollup for two. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock but Ambrose gets to the rope. Bryan misses another dropkick in the corner and gets rolled up (with trunks) for two.

Dean loads up a superplex but gets crotched down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex gets two on Ambrose as Big Show plays cheerleader. Bryan fires off more kicks to Ambrose but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Reigns’ spear hits the steps and Rollins’ dive hits the announce table. Dean DDTs Bryan on the floor and sends him back inside for two, only to get caught in a small package for the pin by Bryan at 14:08.

Rating: B. Good match here as you would expect from these two. Ambrose is MONEY in the ring and can have a good match against almost anyone. Bryan continues to be on fire with the crowd but the title isn’t changing on Sunday. I’m worried that the reactions are going to die down eventually but they’re still solid enough for now.

Post match Bryan avoids a charge from Ambrose and sends him into the tag champions. Cue Orton but Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take him down. Shield is back up though and beats Bryan down but Big Show gets up with a chair. Of course he drops it though as Orton throws Bryan back into the ring for the RKO. Big Show slowly walks up the ramp but HHH and Stephanie come out and order him to knock Bryan out.

Big Show doesn’t want to do it but Orton tells him to follow orders. Orton holds up Bryan for the punch but Big Show won’t do it. Orton throws Bryan down and takes too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Orton to hit the running knee to end the show. This would be the 1st consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan standing up since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one tonight. It felt like there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in a few weeks. Things are looking good for Night of Champions, but it feels like it’s going to be a filler show before we get to the next big show. Edge helped a bit but the Goldust match didn’t do much for me. The main event was solid though as Shield continues to have good matches every week. This wasn’t a great show but it did a good job at setting up the PPV, which is the right idea here.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Axel wouldn’t stop attacking Kingston in the ropes

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Natalya/Brie Bella/Naomi b. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Natalya

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Throw

Damien Sandow b. Miz – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Goldust – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Van Dam into the post

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – Small Package

 

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Monday Nitro – August 17, 1998: An Old Painted Face

Monday Nitro #150
Date: August 17, 1998
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 12,655
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

This was requested a long time ago so I’m not sure why someone wanted to see it. We’re a little over a week after Road Wild 1998 where, believe it or not, the world champion Goldberg didn’t main event the show because Hogan was in a tag match with a celebrity. The company is starting to reel from the Attitude Era but tonight may be their answer if my memory is correct. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the NWO, led by Hogan and Bischoff, to open things up. Giant is part of the NWO again at this point too. Hogan says all the fans here are NWO Black and White fans because this is the house that Hollywood built. He’s sick of all the games with the media and dealing with all those lower level guys. Instead he wants Goldberg right here tonight in the middle of the ring because there is NO ONE he hasn’t beaten and no one he can’t beat. The fans chant Goldberg as Hogan says Giant will take out Goldberg and hand him the title tonight.

Opening sequence which is still the same as it was at the beginning of the year. Even the Steiner Brothers are still in it.

JJ Dillon talks about the very stupid WarGames this year which is a three team, nine man format because the greatest gimmick match of all time needed to be tweaked. Dillon announced Hogan, DDP and Nash as the captains for the three teams. There are three men to start, every two minutes there’s a three way coin toss and the person who earns the fall (which can be a pin this year) gets a title shot at Halloween Havoc.

We get a clip from Saturday Night with Dean Malenko wanting to reform the Horsemen.

Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner. Is there any wrestling coming anytime soon?

Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy

The announcers spend the first minute or so running down Raw for the night because it was taped weeks in advance and their world title match only runs about ten seconds tonight. That’s likely because it’s two weeks before Summerslam and the WWF isn’t stupid enough to air a long title match that close to their second biggest show of the year. Mongo shoves Sick Boy to the apron but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. Sick Boy fires off some right hands and gets two off a slam.

A dropkick puts Mongo down for the same as the announcers talk about Saturn vs. Raven at Fall Brawl with the future of the Flock on the line. Sick Boy hits a clothesline as this is almost a squash so far. They slug it out from their knees with Sick Boy maintaining control but barely being able to get Mongo up for a suplex. Mongo gets in a shot to the ribs and a three point shoulder block followed by the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: C-. I miss the days when Mongo was nowhere to be seen. You know something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad Sick Boy match. The guy looks smooth out there and very confident in what he does in the ring but after the Flock broke up he was more or less gone for good. Then again it’s WCW so it’s not like he would have been pushed anyway.

Here’s DDP with something to say. He’s the captain for Team WCW at Fall Brawl so he went out west to recruit his first teammate. This man wants to take out Hogan as much as Page does and Hogan has never beaten him. Page doesn’t name the guy before starting to talk about the NWO beating Page down before his US Title match with Bret Hart.

This brings out US Champion Bret (in a Hogan shirt) to say quick complaining and win or lose like a man. Page says back up of him Jack because he wants a match with Hart tonight. Bret lists off a bunch of guys that he’s crippled and put on the shelf, but Page is the scum of the earth so he’ll give Page the title shot tonight.

Gene brings out Raven for a chat but before anything can be said, Horace Hogan comes out with a stop sign. He says he’s watched Raven’s back for four months but hasn’t gotten anything in return for it. For the last two weeks he’s beaten Raven up but he wants one more match.

Raven says fine as long as it’s a tag match where he can pick the partners. Horace will have Kanyon and Raven gets Saturn because Saturn needs to get used to being subservient to him. Saturn and Kanyon come out with Saturn calling Raven crazy. He changes his mind a few seconds later because he wants to smack Raven when he comes over for a tag. JJ Dillon comes out to stop this interesting idea. The tag match can happen, but if Saturn tries to attack Raven, he’s gone for 90 days. Also the match must end by pinfall or submission.

High Voltage vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Wright is quickly taken to the mat by a wristlock and a belly to belly suplex. Tony rips on Raw again by saying WCW will give you action you want to see here tonight. So far we’ve seen Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy and this classic. You might want to try that one again Schiavone. Off to Disco who is thrown around as well but here’s Meng to attack Wright because Meng is a monster.

A referee and a security guard get Death Grips as well. They finally mace him to no effect at all.

Eddie Guerrero is scheduled for a match against Konnan but he comes out with a bag and a cup of coffee. He says don’t go to a commercial or he’ll say this on another show. Eddie wants to talk to Eric Bischoff about business, but if this is the only way to get his attention then so be it. Eddie has been unappreciated for a year despite giving the best effort he can.

All of the young talent in WCW is held down for the sake of the people on top of the company. The fans are loudly booing. Eddie says he hasn’t done this for the sake of Chavo and his children and pours coffee on himself, referencing a meeting where Eric allegedly threw coffee on him (in his book Eddie said that it was actually Eric accidentally spilling the coffee on a table and it landed on Eddie). This would eventually lead to the LWO. I’m sure we’ll get Eddie vs. Konnan later though, because WCW would NEVER bait and switch us like that other company that WCW has spent the first hour running down.

Hour #2 begins.

Kanyon/Horace vs. Saturn/Raven

Raven and Saturn get in an argument before the bell but agree to get inside. Saturn and Kanyon get things going but Raven tags himself in, nearly triggering another brawl. The tag doesn’t count for some reason so Kanyon tries a fisherman’s suplex on Saturn, only to get caught in a belly to belly suplex. Off to Horace who catches Saturn in a bad looking flapjack, giving Kanyon a two count.

Kanyon stomps away in the corner and gets two off a backbreaker. In a surprise, Raven crotches Kanyon on the top to save Saturn as the Raw bashing continues. Raven comes in and rolls some Russian legsweeps on Kanyon but doesn’t cover. Back to Saturn for some kicks in the corner before Raven brings in a chair.

Kanyon is sat on the middle rope and Raven loads up a Diamond Cutter onto the chair (Tony: “Looked like a bulldog or a DDT.” So not only does he brag about how AMAZING WCW’s main event will be but he doesn’t recognize the most over move in the company for the last year and a half.) but Kanyon shoves Raven into the chair instead. Off to Horace who is only here to beat up Raven. A powerslam gets two for Hollywood Hogan’s nephew as Saturn makes the save.

Everything breaks down and Saturn and Raven are thrown into each other. Horace splashes both guys in the corner and Saturn does the Sting falling low blow spot. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combo gets two on Saturn and Kanyon spikes him down with a reverse electric chair (meaning Saturn was dropped face first off Kanyon’s shoulders). Horace brings in the stop sign but blasts Kanyon by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver on Horace for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting though more dissension between Raven and Saturn would have helped a bit. Kanyon continues to be solid in the ring with a bunch of nifty moves but Horace on the other hand was as generic of a big man as you could ask for. Still though, good stuff here.

The Flock comes in post match and Raven DDTs Saturn. He tells the Flock to get Saturn up but Kidman pulls Raven off of him, earning a DDT of his own. Horace gets a DDT as well.

Here’s the NWO Black and Red (the Wolfpack) with something to say. The Wolfpack is Nash, Konnan, Sting (looking like a lobster in red paint) Luger and Savage (injured at the moment). They’re the cool NWO and formed a few months ago because if there was one thing missing in WCW, it was a face NWO team. Sting talks about WarGames coming up and how much he’d love to be involved again. Konnan does his usual schtick before Nash talks about how great it is to be in Connecticut. If you’re not part of the Wolfpack, prepare to be hunted by the Pack…and that’s it.

Scott Norton vs. Scott Putski

Putski is wearing a long coat that makes him look like a pirate. Norton chops him in the corner to start but Putski comes back with a neckbreaker. A Vincent distraction lets Norton snap off a powerslam and a powerbomb ends Putski in less than a minute.

Here’s the Black and White with something else to say. Hogan loves the new WarGames rules because he can take care of all the garbage at one time. Nash is a turncoat and Page is a creep who doesn’t follow the rules. Bischoff is the boss around here and the man that brings in the new talent, even though there’s no one Page could bring in that Hogan can’t handle. There go the lights and it’s time for the reveal of DDP’s surprise partner.

A voiceover says something about destruction and someone walks out but we can’t see who it is. The lights come up and it’s the Ultimate Warrior (just called the Warrior here). Hogan immediately panics because he thought Warrior was dead. A LOUD Warrior chant comes up as Warrior asks who holds the power now. Warrior stands there for awhile before saying people anticipated his arrival. Hogan offers him the NWO shirt off his back but Warrior says it doesn’t smell good.

Warrior talks about how wrestling has tried to recreate something which is recreateable with Hogan at the figurehead. Those sort of things are irreplaceable and Hogan must realize that right now. Warrior pauses for about thirty seconds after each sentence. The fans chant that Hogan sucks but Warrior wants to tell him something he doesn’t know. Warrior talks about history teaching us things but Hogan has misplaced pieces of his history. He mentions that Hogan never beat the Warrior, which brings up an interesting point.

On Warrior’s WWE DVD, Hogan said this was the ultimate no-no. Why? Some of the biggest matches of all time, including the most watched match in American history, have been rematches. Are we supposed to say Warrior lost the match? Also remember that Page brought it up earlier in the show and flat out said it instead of implying it like Warrior did (Warrior said Hogan never beat him, not that he beat Hogan). Earlier Hogan mentioned wanting to get his belt back from Goldberg. Are we supposed to forget that Hogan lost his only match against Goldberg? I never got why this was such a big deal in Hogan’s mind.

Anyway Warrior says he defeated the undefeatable and conquered the unconquerable because while Hogan was great, Warrior was Ultimate. After talking for about ten minutes, Warrior introduces himself to Disciple, saying that must be Hogan’s barber. I believe that’s the first actual confirmation that it’s Brutus Beefcake. Bischoff says Warrior knows who he is and Warrior says if Bischoff gets involved, it will lead to his demise. Also Warrior is going to send him a bill for something that isn’t specified.

Warrior talks about destiny and waiting for the next superhero. Hogan has been rationalizing adolescent behavior and embodies intolerable evil. Warrior isn’t here to beat Hogan up because everyone has already beaten Hogan up. Nice line there. Next week Warrior is going to launch a revolution that not even Hogan can control. That’s next week, same Warrior time, place and channel. Seriously he said that. Smoke fills the ring and Warrior disappears.

This went on FOREVER and easily could have been cut in half to get the same point across. Between Warrior’s incessant pauses, the repeating the same stuff in different terms over and over and talking to Bischoff about bills, this could have been cut down to about six or seven minutes instead of the fifteen that it took. Also it’s more of the same idea for WCW: take something that was a big deal a long time ago and try to get something more out of it. Yes it would work short term, but it was shown to not work in the long term.

More Nitro Girls. Tony is only pretty sure that the Warrior was DDP’s shocker.

Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig

This has potential. Curt bails to the floor and we take our second break in about two and a half minutes. Back with Dean pulling Hennig into the ring but Curt taking it right back to the floor to beat on Malenko. Back in and Dean goes off with forearms in the corner, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Hennig cranks on the neck but Dean backdrops Curt down.

A snapmare gets two for Malenko but he runs into a boot in the corner. The HennigPlex is countered with knees to the ribs and Dean suplexes Curt a few times. Tony rips on Raw’s main event again as Hennig escapes the Cloverleaf. A Rude distraction and a shot to the back sets up the HennigPlex to end Dean a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I expected WAY more from these two. They never got out of first gear here and seemed perfectly happy going like that for about five minutes. It’s nice that Dean is back after being gone for a few months in the spring, but Curt seems to be doing exactly what he was doing back in April. That’s not a good sign at all.

Hour #3 begins.

Here are Buff Bagwell, Scott Steiner (with literally half of his body in bandages) and some frumpy old woman. Scott talks about Rick hitting him in the elbow last week, and everyone knows that the elbow bone is connected to the shoulder which is connected to the neck bone, and that’s why his knee hurts. Steiner’s doctor, who is apparently a man, says that Scott is indeed hurt. Scott can’t hold his arm up so clearly he can’t face Rick at Fall Brawl. This brings out Rick who says he wants the match so Scott says he’ll do it at Fall Brawl. The team split up six months ago and we’re still waiting on the match?

Nitro Girls part 3.

TV Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stevie Ray

Chavo has gone nuts and has a stick horse named Pepe for a friend. Jericho is TV Champion after beating Stevie, who became champion after Booker T couldn’t defend the title due to injury and allegedly gave Stevie power of attorney to defend the title. At least I think that’s what happened as the announcers don’t sound entirely sure. One fall to a finish here with Jericho throwing Chavo into Stevie to start. Jericho bails out to the floor so Stevie throws Guerrero on top of him in a nice power display.

Chavo comes back in with a high cross body for two on Stevie but now Jericho wants to hook up with Guerrero. A running forearm and middle rope bulldog get two on the champion but now Ray lifts Chavo into the air again, only to have Jericho break it up for two. Ray takes them both down with a double clothesline but the smaller guys come back with a double suplex.

Chris and Chavo hit a double missile dropkick from the same corner but Jericho breaks up Guerrero’s cover on Ray. Ray runs over the referee but knocks Jericho out with a blackjack. Guerrero puts a sleeper on Stevie Ray but here’s Giant to chokeslam Stevie, which apparently is what gave Jericho the title in the first place. Chavo gets up but staggers out of the ring. Jericho gets to his feet….and wins by countout because Ray can’t get up? Uh….sure, but why not just have Jericho cover the unconscious Stevie for the pin?

Rating: D+. Bizarre ending, bizarre booking and unexplained interference aside, there were a few decent spots in here to carry things. This is a good example of how watching all of the shows coming up to this could have helped out a lot. Chavo getting to show personality is definitely a good thing though as he’s very talented but didn’t have the character to back it up.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Bret is defending, having traded the title with Lex Luger over the last week. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly but Bret bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter. DDP follows him to the floor and pounds away, sending Bret into the barricade. Back in and Page fires off elbows in the corner and gets two off a suplex. Page goes to the corner to rain down right hands but Bret hits him low.

The referee must have been following a piece of lint in the air because it was right in front of him but Bret wasn’t even admonished. Bret drops Page face first onto the buckle to take over even more as momentum shifts. Hart rakes the eyes across the top rope ala Arn Anderson but Page grabs a quick small package for two. We hit the Five Moves of Doom with the elbow getting two. A hard whip into the corner puts Page down again and a good looking piledriver gets two on Page.

DDP pops right up and pounds away on Bret in the corner before taking him down with a discus lariat. A top rope clothesline gets a near fall on the champion and the Pancake gets the same. The referee gets pumped and Bret pulls out a foreign object to blast Page in the head. Then in a bizarre moment, for some reason he puts the object in Page’s tights and drags Page on top of himself but kicks out at two.

The Sharpshooter goes on, Page slaps the mat on three separate occasions (as in three sets of taps) and shakes his head up and down but the referee does nothing at all. Page grabs the rope for the break and grabs a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere. The referee does his job for the first time all match by noticing Bret’s foot being under the rope. Bret claims that Page hit him with something so the referee checks him, only to find the object for the DQ. We’ll ignore that the referee had a completely unobstructed view for the last several minutes and would have seen Page hit Hart or put it back in his tights.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the strange booking brought it down. The ending makes sense given the setup, but the setup made no sense. I get that Bret put the object there as a safety net, but why not just pin Page when he was knocked out? Also there were way too many instances here with the referee coming off like an idiot. These two had good chemistry together but I don’t remember a match between them not being overbooked.

More Nitro Girls, this time with the WCW version of Wrestling Buddies.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. The Giant

Tony bashes Raw again, saying they’re going to give the fans what they advertised, unlike their competitors. Giant has Disciple with him. Goldberg’s music hits and the fake chants pipe in. I rarely notice those so they must be really bad here. Buffer introduces Goldberg as the unified WCW/NWO World Champion.

Giant charges at him in the corner to start and slams Goldberg down, only to have Goldberg pop up and slam Giant right back. Giant clubs him down again and hits a quick Russian legsweep for no cover. Goldberg is sent to the floor but has to knock out Disciple. The champion posts Giant but the big man is able to suplex Goldberg in from the apron, only to have Goldie pop right back up. The spear connects but Disciple comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was indeed longer than ten seconds, but the whole thing didn’t even last four minutes. If I’m WCW, I’d have a bigger match than that if I was going to spend almost three hours bragging about how good it was going to be. This is like a kid bragging that he got a D on a paper when his friend got an F. Goldberg’s power moves were impressive but there was nothing to the match at all. Two straight DQ finishes didn’t help things either.

Goldberg spears Disciple down and hits him with the Jackhammer but Scott Hall comes in to beat the champion down. Nash comes in for the save, takes out Giant and pulls Hall off of Goldberg, only to take a spear meant for Scott. Nash basically no sells it and stares Goldberg down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty entertaining show all around, but there are some big problems and you can see them coming soon. The Warrior idea is a Band-Aid and nothing more. Yeah it might have gotten them a quick boost, but even WCW had to know this wasn’t going to be a long term solution.

At the end of the day, this is the Hulk Hogan Show, not Nitro. Look back at Page’s promo. He isn’t bringing Warrior in to help him win the title or to help WCW win WarGames. Page brought Warrior in to help him get Hogan. Hogan has lost to Sting and Goldberg in the last eight months and it rolls off of him. Nothing ever changes with him and he just keeps rolling along. How is that interesting TV? Good show, but not for the main stories as usual.

 

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On This Day: September 9, 1995 – WCW Saturday Night: So Long Vader

WCW Saturday Night
Date: September 9, 1995
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

This is from five days after Nitro debuted, meaning Saturday Night is still the most important show in a lot of fans’ eyes. We’re closing in on Fall Brawl and Lex Luger has just returned to shock everyone in sight. Hogan is reigning on high and feuding with the Dungeon of Doom, which was a vastly underrated stable for reasons I’ll get into at another time. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is the same as it always was: a laboratory building a cyborg which grows flesh and becomes a wrestler.

We open with a recap from Nitro with Luger wanting a title shot at Hogan.

Vader vs. Bobby Starr/Scott D’Amore

Yes that Scott D’Amore from TNA. Vader is WAY over and starting with Starr, easily pounding him into the ropes. There’s the Vader Bomb but D’Amore makes the save for some stupid reason. The moonsault ends Scott a few seconds later. To the best of my knowledge, this is Vader’s last match before being suspended for a backstage fight with Paul Orndorff. He would be in the 1996 Royal Rumble.

Muscular Dystrophy sucks!

Cobra vs. The Grappler

Grappler is a generic masked guy and Cobra is a military themed guy. The match is a squash but we actually get a backstory to Cobra: he was in the Gulf War with Sgt. Craig Pittman but Pittman left him behind and reported Cobra AWOL, destroying Cobra’s military career. Cobra is back for revenge. Here’s the thing: yeah it’s a one note idea, but is it that much worse than stuff we hear about today in WWE? Cobra wins with a cobra clutch slam in like a minute.

Post match Cobra says Pittman will pay for breaking the code. Pittman comes in and says it was Cobra who broke the code. The match at Fall Brawl wouldn’t even last 90 seconds.

We go to the Fall Brawl control center to talk about the upcoming WarGames match with Hogan’s team (Sting/Savage/Vader) vs. the Dungeon of Doom (Kamala/Meng/Shark/Zodiac) which is as one sided of a match as you’ll ever see. Other matches include the only Flair vs. Arn Anderson PPV match that I can ever remember and a forgotten classic between Johnny B. Badd and Brian Pillman.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Jackey

Eddie jumps him to start but misses a high cross body. Page hits a gutbuster and the Diamond Cutter gets the pin in maybe 35 seconds.

Post match Page says he’ll win the TV Title, which is true.

We go to the Dungeon of Doom to hear from the Dungeon of Doom about WarGames. The leader Kevin Sullivan talks to his boss the Master (played by old wrestler King Curtis Iaukea, who never appeared in an arena I don’t think) about the army of evil he’s produced to attack Hogan inside the cages. It’s like the biggest collection of 1980s monster jobbers you can ever imagine.

Zodiac/Shark/Kamala vs. Julio Sanchez/Rod Thompson/???

This “match” lasts about 30 seconds with the Dungeon destroying everyone. Zodiac (Brutus Beefcake) drives a knee into the back of Thompson’s head for the fast pin. The third jobber was never named.

We look at the rules of WarGames which aren’t important enough to list here. In short, it’s a two ring cage match and you alternate sending in one man at a time, first submission wins.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Highlight package from Nitro.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Dick Slater

This is a co-main event tonight if you need an idea of what sort of stuff you would get here. Slater is half of the tag champions at this point. Badd has a very simple yet effective way to get the fans on his side: he throws them Frisbees and blows confetti onto them. This is a lost art in modern wrestling for some reason, but fans love nothing more than to be acknowledged by the fans. Look at people like Austin, Flair, Sting, Rock and Hogan. All of them played to the crowd and the fans loved every one of them. It’s so simple but not many people do it anymore for reasons I’ll never understand.

Slater wants to throw punches to start, which is just fine with former Golden Gloves champion Johnny B. Badd. Dick finally elbows him down and gets in some left hands as Heenan is panicking about Dusty Rhodes returning to the commentary booth in the near future. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Slater but Badd gets in a hard right hand to put Dick down.

Badd drops him again with a running knee lift but here’s Sister Sherri, who has a crush on Slater’s manager Colonel Robert Parker. Slater backslides Badd and puts his feet on the ropes but Sherri breaks it up with her crutch. Dick’s partner Bunkhouse Buck comes out for a cheap shot to Badd, but the referee is with Sherri, allowing Harlem Heat (Buck and Slater’s opponents at Fall Brawl) come out and hit Slater, giving Badd the pin.

Rating: D. There was nothing to the match itself but they managed to have four people interfere in less than four minutes. That has to be a record for a non-Russo match but it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. I kid you not at one point the Bunk/Slater vs. Heat match was the only thing that could put me to sleep for a good while. That’s how dull these guys were.

Arn Anderson’s wife is concerned about his issues with Flair. Arn gets mad at the camera crew for talking to his wife instead of him.

We get a clip from WCW Pro (the C/D-Show) of what was supposed to be Flair vs. Brian Pillman. For some reason Flair isn’t here so we go to the back where Anderson and Flair can be heard shouting at each other in a dressing room. Apparently Flair has left, meaning Pillman wins by forfeit.

Disco Inferno is coming.

Brian Pillman vs. Barry Houston

Another squash that lasts 45 seconds with Brian winning via a tornado DDT. What else do you want me to say about something that short?

Pillman (not even breathing hard) says he’s friends with Johnny B. Badd but their match is about the US Title shot so it’s all business.

Blue Bloods vs. Sting/Randy Savage

The Blue Bloods are Steven Regal and Robert (Bobby) Eaton. For no apparent reason, Sting (the US Champion) comes out in Savage’s hat and jacket. Savage has his face painted which is a bit more normal for a Sting partner. Savage and Regal get us going with Randy grabbing a quick headlock. Regal takes him over into the corner for the tag off to Eaton, only to have Randy elbow him in the face.

Off to Sting for some arm cranking followed by a monkey flip to send Eaton over to Regal for another tag. Sting cranks on Regal’s arm just as easily but Regal goes to the eyes to take over. Sting grabs a backslide for two so Regal bails into the corner, drawing Savage in for no apparent reason. Eaton gets punched a few times but goes to the eyes as well.

Savage will have none of this being on defense though and punches both Blue Bloods in the jaw. Randy punches Regal to the floor, only to miss a dive to the concrete. Regal hooks a chinlock for all of two seconds, only to have Savage come back with a suplex to escape. The Blue Bloods take over for just a few moments but Regal backdrops out of a suplex attempt to make the tag to Sting. House is cleaned and the heels collide, setting up the Splash on Eaton followed by the elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. There isn’t much to say when the match lasted five minutes and the good guys were on offense for about four and a half of those minutes. To be fair though, was there ever any doubt as to who was winning here? It wasn’t much of a match but it gave Savage and Sting some practice together before the PPV.

Taskmaster comes out to ask Sting and Savage if they can trust Vader. Vader comes out and says you can trust him to end the show. Not that it would matter as Vader wouldn’t make the show, because there’s nothing stupid about suspending a guy a week before a PPV match where he’s the only intriguing part right?

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a show but it definitely keeps moving and doesn’t get dull. They did a good job of keeping things interesting and even hyped up the PPV fairly well. There’s nothing needed to be seen here, but with Nitro around this show’s days of mattering were numbered anyway.

Here’s Fall Brawl if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/06/fall-brawl-1995-anderson-vs-flair-and-a-really-stupid-main-event/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




TNA One Night Only – Knockout Knockdown: The Knockouts Need A Transfusion

Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight’s theme is pretty obvious: it’s all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it’s the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video basically says it’s all about the Knockouts and that’s it. Oh and it’s produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.

All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They’re here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it’s a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it’s a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.

We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.

Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she’ll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.

Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash

Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it’s on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.

A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ’s Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.

Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: C+. The abrupt ending aside, this was a nice match. As annoying as Gail has become due to always being on Impact, she can go in the ring when she has someone to work with. Flash was solid out there as well which shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen her indy stuff. Good stuff here but I have a feeling it’s downhill from this point on.

Video on Lei’D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.

We get Ivelisse’s Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she’s not the Barbarian’s niece so she has no future right?

Ivelisse vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei’D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.

Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse’s back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It still should have been Ivelisse. I still see absolutely nothing from her that would make me want to watch another one of her matches. She’s nothing special in the ring, she doesn’t talk that well and the fans don’t care. The ONLY thing she has going for her is her size but she’s not dominant like Kong was. She’s just big and that’s not enough to build a career on. I still haven’t heard a reason I agree with to pick Tapa but it’s another reason to criticize them.

We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.

Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.

Tara vs. Mia Yim

Yim is another indy chick that I’ve never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia’s leg to give Tara control.

Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara’s standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow’s Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Mia didn’t look bad here but there’s only so much you can show in six minutes. That’s part of the problem with this show so far: these matches, other than maybe the opener which has gotten more time than the other matches, feel like they belong on Impact. Granted we’re only 45 minutes in and the show hasn’t been terrible or anything yet.

Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.

Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

ODB says she’s tough and doesn’t care who she’s fighting tonight. She’s fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.

Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here’s the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can’t take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It’s a comedy angle that came and went and that’s about it. Egads what a waste of time.

ODB vs. Trinity

Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.

Rating: D. ODB isn’t classy. We get it already. Now do ANYTHING else. Trinity looked great in her attire but was nothing to see in the ring at all. Why I’m supposed to cheer a loud woman who rubs her crotch and can’t function in a wrestling match without alcohol is beyond me, but they’re going to push her forever anyway.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.

Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore

In case you’ve never heard my opinion on Moore, we’ll keep it simple and say I wouldn’t mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I’m sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?

Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn’t all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this show, we saw a video of the Taryn vs. Gail match and heard about how great it was. We then got a long video about their entire feud. Instead of having them meet in the main event, WE GET JACKIE FREAKING MOORE BECAUSE SHE’S LOUD AND WRESTLED MEN BEFORE AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTING. The match sucked because Jackie Moore exists. Moving on.

Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.

Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom

Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she’s been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.

We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the “friends”. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.

Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a shame that Hendrix is gone as the fans were eating her up with a spoon here. Bolt was fine and could work well in TNA and Hannah looked WAY better than I remember her in OVW. This was one of the better matches tonight but again with just five minutes it didn’t have time to go anywhere. At least we saw the wedding though right?

Another music video on the Knockouts.

Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky

You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.

Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.

Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet’s back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian’s handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Jillian was always all looks/gimmick and nothing in the ring, which can probably be applied to Velvet as well. The match was nothing of note but Taz and Tenay’s idiotic talking brought it down even further. There was nothing going on here but at least we got to look at Velvet for a few minutes.

Video on Mickie James’ career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.

Serena vs. Mickie James

Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie’s heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???” Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it’s off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.

They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can’t armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it’s James with a bridge which Serena can’t even break by bouncing down onto her.

Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.

We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.

Rating: B-. This was much better than anything else we had seen so far tonight. Deeb clearly knows what she’s doing out there and the long hair makes her look better than she did bald. I liked the idea of her turning in the middle of the match as it gave the match a bit of a story. Good stuff here.

We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.

Gauntlet Match

So apparently it’s the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it’s pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.

Lei’D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it’s an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can’t get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here’s Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei’D but can’t lift her up in a fireman’s carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.

Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it’s never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.

Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie’s face before eliminating her.

Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can’t get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we’re down to four.

Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it’s Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it’s a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.

Rating: D. This was every gauntlet match you’ve ever seen: slow for the most part with a few nice moments, but for the most part it’s paint by numbers stuff. The ending was nothing special as the “match” was about a minute long with over half of that being spent on the fake injury. Not much to see here but at least it was longer than anything else.

Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the Knockouts in general and this show in particular: the roster is so thin that we’ve seen almost all of the main matches ad nauseum. At the time this show aired, I believe there are four or five active Knockouts. Other than Taryn (who lost to the great and mighty Jackie Moore), almost no one new has been added to the division in over a year. There’s just nothing in the division and the final group of people here were the same girls we’ve seen forever. TNA desperately needs to bring in some fresh blood and the Blossoms, Serena, Flash or Ivelisse would be great places to start.

The show was nothing great with most of the matches just not having the time they needed to go anywhere. Also, there was WAY too much filler. I get the idea of a video here or there, but airing the ENTIRE fifteen minute wedding segment plus a bunch of other videos on a two hour and forty minute show is ridiculous. Again, I’m sure you could find one other girl to bring in and make the triple threat a singles match and pad out the show much better. There’s just nothing to see here and the show felt like it was just trying to fill in time until it was over.

 

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Thought of the Day: A Simple Animal

A little on Batista.Think back to Big Dave Batista.  He was the face of Smackdown for years, he was a monster, he won a bunch of world titles, he was called the future in Evolution, he was the biggest star in the company for a good while……and there wasn’t much to him.

 

Think about it: what was there to Batista’s character other than he’s big, he’s strong, and he wins world titles?  Yeah he’s aggressive and an animal, but there really wasn’t any depth to him.  Here’s the thing though: that’s all you need a lot of the time.  Batista was a big scary monster who could destroy anyone that came at him.  How many people would stop flipping though the channels if they saw some monster like him powerbombing someone in half?  It’s a simple idea but it made a pile of cash for the WWE.

 

Simple is more sometimes.




Olympic Wrestling Saved

Good.  I have no idea why they wanted to get rid of it but keep something like synchronized swimming or badminton.

 

Someone do a toast for Kurt Angle.