Raw 10^th Anniversary
Date: January 14, 2003
Location: The World, New York City, New York
Hosts: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different kind of show in that there’s nothing original on it. It’s basically an awards show/retrospective of the first ten years of Monday Night Raw with people coming back and talking about memories. This show is remembered very badly for a variety of reasons we’ll get into here. I’m not sure how well the reviewing here can go but it’s worth a shot. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s nothing to rate, this is going to be me recapping everything and giving my take on it as it happens. You’ll get the idea.

The opening video is a mashup of all the old intros to WWF programing in the last ten years. Nice touch.

Highlight package of the first year of Raw which I really need to get to someday. This transitions into a video on the entire ten years with a big focus on the Attitude Era. Yeah if you’re looking for ANYTHING from 1994-1996, you’re in the wrong place. The video is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock to really hammer in the annoyance factor.

JR and King welcome us to the show. We’re going to get a top ten moments in Raw history. Oh this is going to be GOOD.

Our first award is Diva of the Decade presented by Shawn Michaels. Before we get to the award we get through the storyline stuff with Shawn talking about being the #1 entrance in the Rumble. Shawn makes fat jokes about Bertha Faye (killed herself about a year and a half before this) and Bull Nakano who most fans likely don’t remember.

The nominees are Sable (should win), Sunny (not a bad choice), Trish Stratus (Fine in modern times, absurd in 2003), Lita (not even the best Diva in 2003) and Chyna (not happening but there’s a minor case for her). The winner: Trish Stratus. You know, the chick who hasn’t even been around for three years at this point, hasn’t even wrestled for two years, and hasn’t been any good for a year.

Sable closed out Raw in 1998 on multiple occasions but Trish wins, presumably because she’s here. Her dress is barely there which helps a bit, but this is going to be a mess for the next two hours. Moolah is in the audience and looks asleep. Trish also thanks Fit Finlay who did some great things with the Divas. He hadn’t done them yet but I don’t think anyone cares about stuff like common sense tonight.

The #10 moment is This Is Your Life Rock. That should be WAY higher, as in like top three at worst.

Shane McMahon presents the Don’t Try This At Home award, which is for the biggest bump. The crowd keeps cutting him off until we get to the nominees: Big Show chokeslamming Undertaker through the ring, Jeff Hardy in TLC 3 (no specific bump), the Dudleyz powerbombing Mae Young off the stage through a table, (that was awesome but not memorable) or Kurt Angle missing the moonsault off the cage to Benoit.

Angle wins, in another bad decision. It’s not as bad as the previous one but the winner should have been something like the Outlaws shoving Foley and Funk off the stage in the dumpster. It’s memorable, it was big and it set up future stuff. Big Show was on his way up to the podium when Angle’s name was announced. Angle, Haas and Benjamin celebrate and hold up an American flag but get played off by the music before Kurt gets too far into a speech about high school.

Stacy introduces the list of bad gimmicks from over the years, which is too long to list. Think of almost any stupid gimmick from the 1990s and it’s here. Here’s the thing though: a lot of them (IRS for example) were fine gimmicks that lasted for YEARS but now they’re stupid? WWF didn’t mind putting them on PPV and asking us to pay for them, but now they’re silly? Yeah stuff like T.L. Hopper was dumb, but Doink for example was a great idea.

Moment #9 is Austin crushing Rock’s Lincoln with a monster truck. Stacy calls it a moment that changed wrestling forever. I haven’t thought of this moment in years so I think she’s wrong on that one.

Booker T presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That award which speaks for itself. The nominees are the Three Faces of Foley in a sitdown interview at the same time (cool but Roddy Piper basically did the same thing back in the mid 80s with a mirror), Bischoff and Vince hugging (that’s fine), Bart Gunn wins the Brawl For All (the idea of that winning an award is hilarious), Kane being able to control fire (that’s kind of amusing when you take a step back and think about what he’s doing) and Austin riding a Zamboni to the ring to attack Vince.

Foley wins….and isn’t here because he left in 2001. So not only do they pick the wrong one (Vince vs. Bischoff should have won given the nominees) but they pick a guy who isn’t even there? Goldust comes up to present the award with Booker, because a guy painted gold and wearing a smoking jacket and making jokes isn’t a ridiculous gimmick at all but an Indian like Tatanka is. Bischoff, actually here tonight, calls Foley overrated and talks about the amount of time he has to turn Raw around without getting fired.

Ric Flair presents the role call of dead wrestlers: Andre the Giant (never appeared on Raw and died less than two weeks after it debuted), Joey Marella (referee and Gorilla Monsoon’s adopted son), Brian Pillman, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Gorilla Monsoon (they picked a shot of him near death when he looked nothing like he did in his glory days), Yokozuna, British Bulldog….and that’s it. I guess we had to protect Shawn by not pointing out that the woman he made a joke about died. There are others who were left out, presumably because the company didn’t care enough about them.

Jericho presents the Gimme The Mic award in a weird looking leather suit. “I’m wearing it on a tip from Hollywood fashion plate Classy Freddie Blassie.” Ok points for a good reference. The nominees are Austin, DX, Angle (a stretch but ok), Foley, Vince (better than people give him credit for) and Rock. Jericho isn’t nominated? Oh wait he’s a heel right now so we can’t like him, even though Angle was nomianted.

Rock wins, FINALLY getting an award right. Naturally Rock is on a movie set so he has to do this via satellite, as a surprise. The crowd however is too New York and too drunk to be impressed, so they boo him out of the building. Rock says FINALLY but he’s not even in New York. The fans clearly aren’t pleased at all with this. Rock talks about Jericho debuting when Rock was in the ring so Jericho can turn the microphone sideways among other things.

It wasn’t Jericho who won that award but rather a guy with a bunch of nicknames. Rock tells Jericho to get off the stage as a light Rocky sucks chant begins. He wants to talk to Kurt Angle and spends nearly a minute talking about a match with Angle at some point in the past. He calls Team Angle Team Suck Squad.

Now it’s time for Stephanie to be called a “Make a wish and blow out the candles NOT THE POOL BOY” sl**. Rock makes fun of Goldust and Booker T for reviewing Scorpion King before calling Goldie a sick freak. The fans are completely turning on Rock now and the boring chants are getting louder and louder. He’ll be back soon and says a lot of catchphrases to FINALLY end this. Rock bombed here as he went on too long and the satellite thing was just stupid.

Moment #8 is Shane on Nitro, ending the Monday Night Wars once and for all. Again, this should have been higher.

After Fink brings us back in from commercial (he had to appear somewhere), here are Cole and Tazz to present the Shut Up and Kiss Me award. This is the best on screen duo with nominees of Mark Henry and Mae Young (you knew this was coming), Chyna and Eddie Guerrero (decent pick), Lita and Matt Hardy (better pick. Their first kiss was an awesome moment), Mr. McMahon and William Regal for Regal joining the Club (you knew some of Vince’s, ahem, interesting choices would be on here) and HHH and Stephanie. If you don’t know who is winning this one you don’t get WWE.

They don’t like each other too much right now but Stephanie accuses Rock of wanting to win this award with her. Stephanie recaps her on screen history with HHH and it really is funny how much happened with her. HHH wants to have a kiss for old times’ sake. He tells her to close her eyes so he can take down his pants and bend over. Stephanie slaps it and HHH walks out without pulling them up. This was what it was.

Moment #7 is the debut of Mr. Socko and Austin disguised as the doctor to beat up Vince. The greatness of the bed pan shot to the head is canceled out by Vince being anally raped with an IV.

Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson (should have been Heenan) present Network Difficulties for controversial programming. The nominees are Mae Young giving birth to a hand (didn’t we just cover this five minutes ago?), Stone Cold Stunning Santa, 3 Minute Warning attacking the Hot Lesbians (actually pushing the envelope a bit) and Pillman’s Got A Gun.

Mae and Mark win in an even dumber pick than Trish. This was a HUGE deal which almost got Raw thrown off the air but we’ll go with the stupid comedy moment instead. It’s mainly the winner because Austin isn’t here at the moment.

Moment #6 is the Nation parody. It’s funny but this should have been last on the list. Also every moment so far has been from the Attitude Era.

Here’s Brock in a suit to present Superstar of the Decade. It’s REALLY weird to see Brock as a smiling face. The nominees are Mick Foley (with the debut of Socko shown for the second time), The Rock (BOOED), Bret Hart (BIG pop for that and a we want Bret chant), HHH, Austin and Undertaker (the only guy around for the whole decade). Austin wins as you would expect and as he likely should have. Vince says Austin isn’t here and laughs at fans who thought he would be. Dang I really want to watch this show now. I might get insulted for cheering for someone. HHH and Flair walk out because HHH didn’t win.

Moment #5 is Austin vs. Tyson. There’s a case for this being #1 as it basically launched them back into the Monday Night Wars and was a big reason why they started winning a few months later.

Time for Match of the Decade. Oh this should be fun. The nominees are TLC IV (I wouldn’t remember that if it wasn’t for the nomination earlier), HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight (a forgotten classic that belongs on this list), Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in the ladder match (Just no. Period.) and Austin beating Kane to win back the world title (this is idiotic. Austin beat Undertaker for the title in 1999 and it drew nearly 11 million people, a record which still stands today I believe).

TLC wins and I’m not going to bother talking about the acceptance speech. Instead, here’s a real list of nominees for best matches in Raw’s first ten years off the top of my head:

Jannetty vs. Michaels for the Intercontinental Title

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog for the first European Title

Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho for the tag titles

Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title in 2001

Any of those are better than the rest of the nominees combined. TLC was NOTHING but most of the people in it are there so it wins an award. That sums up the entire problem with this show.

Moment #4 is DX invading WCW. I’ve got nothing here. This was awesome.

Moment #3 is Rock challenging Hogan for Wrestlemania 18. This still gives me chills but it has no business being this high on the list.

Moment #2 is Raw Is Owen. Leave it to WWE for turning something like someone’s death into a way to pat themselves on the back. Pay no attention to Jeff Jarrett having to perform in a comedy match five minutes after watching his friend plummet to his death.

Moment #1 is the Austin beer bath of the Corporation. Yeah, seriously. Allegedly these were selected by fans but WWE fans are smarter than this. Edge presents it and brings the rest of the roster to the stage for a bow to end the show.

Overall Rating: S. For shame on them. This is RIDICULOUS with the top ten moments list being either out of order, stupid, or nothing of note. The awards made my head hurt and I knew what was coming. This show wasn’t a celebration of Raw. It was a cheap ratings ploy to talk about the Attitude Era and have zero effort put into it at all. Look at the specials today and you’ll see a ton of nostalgia packages and highlight videos which talk about various things you haven’t thought of in years and can smile at later. This was horrible and insulting to my intelligence as a Raw fan rather than anything fun. Shame on WWE for this.

Here’s the Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Thunder
Date: March 26, 1998
Location: Patriot Center, Fairfax, Virginia
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Spring Stampede and most of the card is pretty clear. That being said, the picture we’re getting isn’t all that pretty. The bat match announced on Monday is nothing special and it’s going to overshadow Sting vs. Savage which has the potential to be decent. The interesting question for tonight is will we get any followup on Goldberg’s attack on the NWO last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero Jr. to open the show. Chavo has to scratch Eddie’s back on the way to the ring. Eddie says Chavo has a TV Title shot tonight, but he hasn’t proven himself yet. Therefore, Eddie will be taking the title shot and Chavo gets this match.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit immediately chops Chavo down to start and stomps him into the corner. We cut up the commentary desk where Rick Rude and Eric Bischoff take over. Now we go back to the ring with Chavo still chopping away. Some backbreakers put Chavo down as Bischoff compares WCW to Kenneth Starr, because wrestling fans want to hear about current political events when they watch wrestling. Chavo comes back with some shots to the ribs and a dropkick gets no cover. Benoit comes back with a knee to Chavo’s ribs and drapes Chavo over the top rope. Chavo sunsets flips him for two but walks into the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Benoit’s yo-yo push continues. He goes from a US Title shot to jobbing to Norton to drawing with Booker T to being a bishop (he’s too good to be a pawn) in the Guerrero feud. It’s almost like WCW isn’t paying attention to what they do with him and just throw him out there at random.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff in the ring. Bischoff complains about WCW having people like Piper out here to cause trouble and says it’s easy to understand why Hogan has so many disciples. Hogan insists that there are no rifts in the NWO despite any footage WCW may show. He and Nash are best friends for life and WCW is just putting them in matches in hopes that they’ll argue. They’ll win at the PPV, just like they did on Monday.

This brings out Nash who says that he knows someone is pulling the NWO’s strings but no one pulls his. Hogan may claim to lead the NWO but everyone knows the heart and soul of the NWO is the Wolfpack. If Hogan is in charge, why is Syxx out of a job and why is Hall never on live TV? Hogan says Syxx couldn’t cut the mustard but doesn’t know where Hall is. Hogan: “I thought you knew.” Hollywood blames Savage for the problems and says they can deal with them at the PPV. He would partner with Nash anytime but Nash says it would be his honor brother, which confuses Eric and Hogan.

La Parka vs. Prince Iaukea

No entrance for either guy for the sake of time. La Parka does his dance to start before charging into a boot in the corner. A spinwheel kick staggers Iaukea but he sends La Parka to the floor for a flip dive off the apron. Back in and an elbow to the face gets two on the Prince but he grabs a northern lights suplex for a pn on La Parka out of nowhere. This was nothing.

Here’s Lex Luger to say that he and Sting will accept Hogan and Nash’s open challenge for a tag match tonight. I didn’t exactly hear an open challenge but whatever gets us to tonight’s run-in palooza is fine.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno

The crowd LOUDLY tells Jericho that he sucks on the way to the ring. They trade headlocks to start until Disco takes him down with a clothesline. Disco stomps him down in the corner and hits a middle rope fist to the head for two. Jericho takes him down and kicks Disco in the ribs before getting two off a suplex. Disco runs into a boot in the corner but comes back with an atomic drop and a neckbreaker for two each. That’s it for Disco though as he gets caught in a butterfly backbreaker and the Liontamer retains the title. Short and not much to this one.

Jericho takes Disco’s headband for the trophy case.

Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn

Tony does the ads for future shows and actually uses the term house shows. Goldberg asked for this match after Flynn gave him a test. Flynn fires off his kicks and takes Goldberg to the mat, only to be caught in a leg bar. A powerslam puts Jerry down but he grabs an armbar. Goldberg will have none of that and powerbombs him down before breaking out of a choke. They trade a few more holds and Flynn actually scores with some kicks. I don’t even get done typing that line before the spear and Jackhammer make Goldie 62-0.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Psychosis is now a face apparently. This is a revenge match as Lodi was injured in his match on Monday so Kidman is out to hurt Psychosis in turn. Kidman jumps him from behind and sends Psychosis into the ropes for a very slow motion Tajiri handspring elbow minus the handspring or the elbow. Instead he rolled and hit the middle rope and didn’t do any elbowing but it’s the best I’ve got. Psychosis goes up top but gets shoved to the floor for a big dive from Kidman.

Back in and Kidman gets two off a sitout spinebuster before putting on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Psychosis counters a powerbomb and gets two off a clothesline but charges into an elbow in the corner. Kidman is dropkicked into the ropes and Psychosis gets two off the guillotine legdrop with Kidman still in the ropes. Psychosis gets crotched on the top and superplexed down for no cover. Instead here’s Sick Boy to miss a springboard dropkick and hit Kidman by mistake, allowing Psychosis to hit the full guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: C-. Psychosis getting a little push is nice to see, but he was sloppy here. That’s odd to see as he was usually one of the better fliers in the company. Kidman was getting better every time he was out there but he still had a way to go. Also it’s nice to see some continuing stories in the lower card which is usually one random match after another. Decent stuff here too.

Here’s DDP to say he doesn’t want WCW’s help in getting the US Title back. He talks about being trained by Jake Roberts and is sick of Raven’s whining. Page is going to bang him soon.

British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart vs. Curt Hennig/Bryan Adams

It’s a brawl to start as Rude takes over on commentary from Marshall. We start with Smith vs. Adams as Davey ducks a big boot and trips Adams down for two. Off to Neidhart for some lame arm work and a slam before Hennig comes in with some shots to the back. A big shoulder runs Hennig over and it’s back to Davey who has to chase Hennig around the ring, allowing Bryan to get in a cheap shot.

Adams comes in legally and gets in some shots but Bulldog easily tags Neidhart back in. This is really dull so far. Neidhart is sent into the NWO corner and pounded down before walking into an Adams piledriver for two. A double clothesline gets two on Jim but he gets to his corner for the tag to Bulldog who cleans part of a house. Everything breaks down and they all go to the floor, brawling until the match juts ends in I think a double DQ.

Rating: D-. I know I said Benoit seemed to have no direction but it’s even truer with Bulldog and Smith. They’ve been thrown out there and are kind of fighting on Bret’s behalf against Hennig but they can’t be associated with him, meaning they can’t talk about him. The matches are really dull too, making these segments low points for the shows.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn

The war continues as Page still doesn’t have the belt itself. Saturn jumps Page as he comes in but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A rollup gets the same for the champion but he walks into a t-bone suplex for two. Saturn hooks an abdominal stretch to work on Page’s bad ribs but Page quickly hip tosses out of it.

Now Page puts on an abdominal stretch of his own but Saturn counters into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about the NWO. Page fights up and hits a quick belly to belly for two. Saturn hits a quick jawbreaker but gets crotched on top. Cue Raven with the belt on the stage so Page catches a diving Saturn in the Diamond Cutter and goes after Raven for the countout.

Rating: C+. The match didn’t last long but the Diamond Cutter at the end looked great. Saturn is very well rounded in the ring and there was a nice story going on with him being able to counter everything Page had but DDP having one big move to knock Saturn out. The lack of time hurt this one badly.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Before the bell, Booker asks Chavo why he’s giving up a title shot so easily. Eddie answers for his nephew and says this is family business. Booker says he’ll show Chavo how to deal with a bully but Eddie has some brass knuckles on his hand. He lays out Booker as the bell rings but only gets two. Chavo takes the knuckles off Eddie’s hand and throws them to him, drawing a quick DQ.

Eddie makes Chavo hit Booker with the knuckles and the stomping begins but Benoit comes out for the save. Tag match coming up it seems.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

A Buff distraction lets Norton get in a cheap shot for early control. Scott shoves him into the corner but walks into a belly to belly, allowing Rick to go after the leg. Back up and Norton no sells an elbow to the face before taking Steiner down. He stomps away but Rick bites his leg, only earning himself more stomping. Buff gets in some choking of his own but gets glared down by DiBiase.

Norton ducks his head and gets kicked in the face, allowing Rick to hit another belly to belly. A clothesline puts Norton on the floor but here’s Scott Steiner with a dog collar. They screw up the ending as Norton misses a shot with the collar and Rick picks it up. He swings but stops halfway through, allowing Norton to try a belly to back suplex. Now the collar to the head is enough to pin Norton.

Rating: D. Another boring match but at least Norton lost for a change. The ending here looked terrible as the referee was obviously looking at what was going on in addition to the bad timing of the collar shot. This was nothing to see, which is a running theme on tonight’s show.

Lex Luger/Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash

Nash is in street clothes. Hogan and Sting get things going with the champion knocking Hollywood down with ease. Sting shoves him down and flexes a bit so Hogan takes the bandana off. The champion blocks a ram into the buckle and pounds away in the corner. Off to Luger who gets caught by a thumb to the eye, allowing for the tag to Nash. Kevin runs Luger over and it’s back to Hogan for some choking. Hogan holds Luger for Nash but Lex avoids the big boot which hits Hogan instead. There’s the hot tag to Sting as everything breaks down. Nash takes the Stinger Splash but Savage runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yep it was about three minutes long and ended in a run-in. As usual, this was all about the NWO with the world champion and Luger just filling in spots. Sting’s momentum is completely gone just a few months after he was the biggest star in WCW. But hey, at least we’re getting MORE Hogan right?

Post match Savage goes after Sting but Hogan goes after Savage for no apparent reason. Nash pulls Hogan off of Savage so they have a staredown but the rest of the NWO comes in for the big brawl. Sting and Luger manage to fight them off with relative ease and Hogan argues with Nash to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s some decent wrestling in there but most of the matches were too short to mean anything. The main event sucked and was angle advancement, which is ok some of the time but when that’s all the main events are anymore it’s hard to care. Somehow this was a big improvement over last week’s show. At least there was some star power this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Hard Justice 2009
Date: August 16, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We continue our backwards trip through TNA as I keep trying to get closer and closer to being done with their PPVs. This is one of three remaining 2009 shows I have so it’s as good a place as any. Anyway the Mafia is still around and the main event (haha) is Angle vs. Sting vs. Morgan for the title. There really isn’t much else as the card is rather lackluster. Then again this isn’t one of TNA’s biggest PPVs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan for the most part, and how he’s perfect or something. His DNA was sent into space which is rather cool. They don’t talk about anything else here so you can tell it’s a weak card.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequence Creed vs. Suicide vs. D’Angelo Dinero

The Guns don’t have their signature music yet. This is the steel asylum, as in the big red cage, and you win by escape. Naturally there are WAY too many people in it so you won’t be able to call a thing in it. Winner gets an X Title shot at No Surrender. This is Pope’s debut. There’s a big hole at the top and you have to climb up to escape, which is hard because the roof curves up.

The fans are behind Pope it seems. Suicide makes a run at it but Creed pulls him down. The Guns beat up Daniels because that’s what they do. The camera has to keep cutting away from the match and various spots because they have to go to other spots. Lethal Consequences takes Red down and the Guns get a dropkick Conchairto to the head of Pope. This is really a collection of spots and not a match.

Daniels takes Lethal off the top and tries a climb, only to be stopped by Dinero. And never mind as Daniels punches the cage and probably breaks his hand. We’re at the point now where most people lay around and wait on two people to do something before getting in there again. The Guns and Lethal Consequences have a mini match with the Guns getting the better of it.

Daniels and Pope keep slugging it out on the top and there’s your Tower of Doom spot. We get a complex four person submission hold with the tag teams again. Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 on Daniels and here comes Red. He takes down just about everyone that was still on their feet/knees and goes up, only for Shelley to make the stop in the corner.

Seven people are standing in one corner or are on the rope in that corner. The eighth comes up because he’s (Sabin) very stupid. Gee, with everyone in one corner, I’m sure there’s nothing he could do in the other five corners right? Everyone gets taken down as Daniels and Red go up. Daniels hooks in a leg and is kind of hanging around. Suicide almost makes it but Pope stops him, only to be stuck in the corner. Daniels finally wakes up and climbs out to win it.

Rating: C+. Really hard to call here as the whole thing was a mess. There’s no flow to it but to be fair it’s supposed to be a big mess I think. You cut this down to four people and you have a FAR better match. That being said at 16 minutes it’s still way too long, but at the same time they were trying and hit the limit with what this match can do under these circumstances I think.

Daniels says the X-Division is awesome. He’ll get the X Title back and AJ needs to come back also.

We run down the card for the ADHD fans out there.

Morgan says he’s in the main event to win, not help Kurt.

We recap the WAY too long Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss feud. Stevie put out a $50,000 bounty on Abyss and it’s about maiming him. The maimer in this case: Jethro Holiday, more commonly known as Trevor Murdoch. Yes, really.

Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

THIS warranted PPV times. Yes, really. Oh and it’s no DQ/weapons are legal/whatever. Holiday, ever the generic southern/country boy, chops away and gets absolutely nowhere. Abyss claps away like an idiot as we head to the floor. For the second time tonight someone punches something made of metal and Holiday takes over again. Middle rope elbow misses back in as this is already boring.

Abyss finally brings in a chair as Stevie slides in a metal stick or something to Holiday. It’s a baton I think. Abyss fights back with his big man offense like a big boot and backdrop. Let’s clap some more because that’s HARDCORE BABY! Side slam gets two. Holiday gets a chair to Abyss’ balls and a baton shot to the head gets two. More brawling ensues and a chokeslam gets two for Abyss. Holiday gets the Texas standard move in the form of a bulldog for two. Black Hole Slam ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible, but it’s Trevor Murdoch vs. Abyss on PPV. Why in the world did they think this was deserving of about 11 minutes total? Boring match for the most part and just kind of there, which is fine if it’s ok but it’s not in this case. Holiday would do nothing for the most part and would be gone in a few months.

Holiday takes down Stevie post match, I guess turning face.

Angle says he’ll keep the title. He might weigh 180lbs here.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Beer Money says they’ll win the Japanese tag titles, because we NEED Japanese tag titles right?

World Elite is awesome apparently and Beer Money is standing in the way of their dominance despite them not really dominating anyone.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion

It’s more Japanese tag titles because they’re Japanese so every non-WWE fan loves them right? The Brits have the belts here. Young jumps in on commentary here. The Brits are Magnus and Williams here. Storm and Magnus start us off as the fans chant wanker. Storm makes both Brits look like idiots to start and Roode launches Storm over the top to the floor onto both Brits.

Williams comes in and takes over on Roode, including the always awesome jumping back elbow. Everything breaks down again with Beer Money in control again. This is one of those rather boring matches where not a lot is going on here. We get one of the stupid face in crotch spots from the Brits. The champions take over with some basic leg work on Storm as this is rather boring.

The fans chant for the Cowboy so at least they have the right football team. See how far I have to go for jokes here? Do you see what I do for you people here? Williams drops a knee and Magnus gets two off of it. Weak tag to Roode who hits the Blockbuster for two. There’s the time waster by the challengers and a double team Rock Bottom gets two on Magnus. Young comes in for a distraction and Williams rolls up Roode for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match itself wasn’t really that awful but it was incredibly boring. Not an interesting match in the slightest and that’s saying a lot when it comes to a team as talented as Beer Money. This went nowhere for the most part and the whole thing was just a boring waste of time. Not bad, but the lack of anything interesting killed it deader than Immortal’s current credibility.

Deaner and ODB aren’t funny.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

We waste more time as Velvet and Angelina leave Madison in the ring.

Taz talks for Joe, saying that Hernandez didn’t beat Joe because Joe beat Joe. Joe is going to win the X Title tonight and take it to the Mafia.

X–Division Title: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has his face tattoo still here. The fans chant 187. Joe takes him down with strikes quickly but Homicide uses his technical abilities to take him to the floor. Homicide is considered a ring master but I’ve never really seen it. He’s not bad but I don’t see the genius aspect to him. After a pep talk from Joe it’s time to go back to work for Joe. This is a rather fast paced match which doesn’t really surprise me.

Rana is blocked to send Homicide to the floor and a suicide dive sends him flying. Back in and Joe drops a knee so he can crank on the neck a bit. Powerslam gets two. Homicide tries to fight back but Joe is just too fat. Powerbomb is turned into an STF and into a crossface and into the Rings of Saturn, all by Joe. Homicide finally gets his foot on the ropes to break it up but that was kind of impressive. I think. Actually it wasn’t but it fits the submission aspect of Joe’s character.

Joe hammers away as the fans chant 187 again. I know Impact Zone fans are considered a little slow but they can’t even count to ten properly? Homicide comes back with some clotheslines and gets Joe down. Top rope dropkick sends Joe to the floor and there’s a tope con hilo to take Joe down even more.

Homicide and Taz nearly get into it but that goes nowhere. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring for the champion. Diamond Cutter gets two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) is blocked and Joe can’t quite get the Clutch. Ok so never mind yes he can and Homicide taps almost immediately. Some guy from the toughest place in the world.

Rating: B-. Pretty good here as both guys worked rather well out there. They probably fought a few dozen times in the indies so it’s pretty clear they know each other as well as possible. Better Homicide match than I remember him having more often than not so that’s a nice surprise. Not bad here at all.

Kurt goes to talk to Matt Morgan and doesn’t even knock. Angle tries to make a deal and Morgan agrees that it’s either him or Angle leaving with the title tonight.

We recap the Mafia vs. Team 3D. The Mafia more or less stole the titles from Beer Money. Team 3D complained about getting screwed out of everything (Bubba: “If I knew getting screwed felt this bad, I would have stayed a virgin.”) and therefore wanted a match. Don’t ask me how all of the tag titles worked at this time. With the Japanese belts out there it’s more confusing than an Egyptian restaurant menu.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Team 3D

Falls count anywhere here and they have two referees which is rather smart for once. Sharmell looks good here. Apparently it’s No DQ also, therefore making it a hardcore match. In a Russo company? I’M SHOCKED!!! Big staredown to start and the brawl begins. The fans want tables within ten seconds. Booker gets double teamed and the Mafia complains a lot.

Booker and Steiner yell at Hebner, the outside referee, and it’s time to head into the crowd. We go split screen and it’s one of those annoying ones that has about 30% of the screen devoted to the match and the rest is a big freaking TNA logo. I’ve never gotten why they do that. Is that for people that have bought all the PPV offerings for that night and flip through the channels to decide what to watch?

The races pair off and it’s a big brawl as you would expect from these guys. There’s the required ECW chant. To be fair though, three of these guys were in the original ECW so it’s hard to complain. Steiner gets two on Bubba off of I think a weapon shot. They’ve more or less dropped the split screen at this point, making it kind of hard to follow. I do however really like the falls count anywhere aspect as it means you don’t have to wait for them to get back to the ring for any drama.

Steiner dives off a balcony in the crowd onto Ray for two. Gee it was nice of Ray to stand there for a good ten seconds to wait on him to come crashing down on him like that. Ray and Steiner are at ringside now as are D-Von and Booker. I guess they can’t bare to be apart that long. Steiner gets two on Ray. The pairings haven’t switched for the entire match that I can remember.

The white guys get in the ring and a Steiner Line gets two. The fans still want tables. What’s Up to Steiner which probably doesn’t hurt that much due to the amount of steroids in him. It’s table time now and the fans are in a word really freaking happy with that decision. Steiner gets laid on one but here’s Booker for the save. The Mafia stands around FOREVER while D-Von is sitting on the ropes after being crotched.

The delay allows the Dudleys to set up the Doomsday Device through the table but Booker saves again, moving the table but the move hits like regular. Team 3D in control still here but it’s a Book End for Bubba through the table for two as he actually kicks out instead of having it saved. The Mafia in control now as things kind of grind to a halt. Scratch that as the Dudleys take over again. Back and forth match throughout so far.

Heel miscommunication lets D-Von get a belly to back on Steiner for two. Powerbomb out of the corner gets the same result with the same people. Axe kick misses D-Von and the 3D from 3D gets the pin on Booker, but at the same time Steiner rolls up Bubba and yep it’s a double pin. I was afraid of this. The threes went down at just about the same time which is rather helpful. We actually go to the video and the replay we see shows that those threes hit at the exact same time. The Mafia retain the belts and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. WEAK finish as the video shows it was identical or at least way too close to call.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the ending really hurts it a lot. The fans chant BS during the highlight package which is very true. I mean dude, when EVER do they go to a replay to decide something in wrestling? Not a great brawl or anything but they did a lot of stuff right here. The ending crippled it though and there were a lot of dead spots in there that really hurt it.

Foley isn’t sure if he is ready for Nash or not. He did however get an extra $623 posing for pictures. Not really apparently but that’s the point of the feud. Nash wants the title because it brings him more money. Foley wants the title because wrestlers want to hold titles. I remember really wanting to see this match as the pairing is pretty interesting. Foley puts JB in charge of finding a barbed wire bat.

Recap of Nash vs. Foley which is what I just went over.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Post match Foley takes the bat to the head and Abyss comes out for the save with a bat of his own.

Sting isn’t worried about Kurt and Matt working together. He’ll never lose hope in the war against the Mafia. Does Sting do anything but go to war with heel factions?

We recap the triple threat. Morgan wanted in the Mafia so they used him as a lackey and then screwed him over. Morgan won a trilogy of matches with AJ to get the spot here. Angle implied that Morgan should help him keep the title and Morgan said no way.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some decent stuff here and there but overall this just fell flat. It was ALL about the Mafia here and that’s not exactly the most enthralling formula for a PPV. This was certainly a B level PPV and it came off as one: nothing significant seems to have happened, despite both midcard titles changing hands. Nothing to see here as nothing was a particularly great match or even very good. Pretty weak show but not horrid or anything.

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This show feels like it could be big which is rare for Summerslam anymore.Starting on the pre-show, Shield causes the DQ, triggering Show and Henry to come in to make it a tag match, perhaps for the titles.  Shield leaves with all the gold either way.

As for the main stuff we’ll start with the obvious: Bryan wins the title.  There is zero reason to not put it on him other than to advance the HHH vs. Vince story.  If they go that way, fans are going to be MAD.  Cena is taking time off for his elbow soon so there is no reason for him to walk out with the title.  Bryan wins by countering the AA into a small package for the title.

My biggest worry is that this turns into an Attitude Era style brawl with HHH in there, but if that’s what they have to do for Cena’s injury so be it.  HHH flat out does not need to be there otherwise and this match doesn’t deserve to be a stop on the road to HHH vs. Vince at Wrestlemania.  Unfortunately that’s what it’s likely to be and we’ll have to spend a few months hearing about the screwjob that cost Bryan the title, because that’s what fans want to see.

Now for the big question: will there be a cash in by Orton.  All signs point to yes, but I think they’ll pull the trigger on something brilliant: have Bryan retain the title.  Can you imagine how big a deal Bryan will be if he beats Cena and Orton in the same night?  The Attitude Era version gave Jericho something to talk about for twelve years.  I doubt it happens due to me being terrible at stuff like that, but it’s almost too obvious that Orton cashes in and wins the title.

Brock vs. Punk is the real wildcard on this show.  I could easily see this going either way but I can’t pick which one.  You have Punk needing a big win to get momentum back but you need Brock to win so he doesn’t start looking like some monster who can’t finish the job.  I’ll take Punk but there will definitely be a rematch.

Del Rio retains.  It’s WWE 101: the challenger dominates leading up to the match and beats the champion multiple times, the champion retains at the PPV and WWE doesn’t understand why no one is impressed.

Sandow over Cody, though it doesn’t help him as there’s nothing to Cody after all the damage to his character over the last year.

Bray Wyatt beats Kane.  The question here isn’t who wins, but what creepy thing does Bray do.  I’ve heard ideas ranging from he controls the fire and Kane sees it as a miracle and follows Wyatt to Bray lights himself on fire because it’s fun to Rowan jumps through the flames to save his master.  Either way it’s a good start for Bray, but they should keep his wrestling to a minimum.  If he wrestles all the time he’ll become watered down.  Save him for important stuff and let his monsters do the work for him.

Langston and AJ beat Kaitlyn and Ziggler.  Dolph has cooled WAY off lately as this feud has been all about AJ.

Brie beats Natalya.  Is it Brie or Nikki wrestling?  If you think I actually care about the answer, you get extra homework.

Overall Summerslam looks good but it’s a two match show.  That’s definitely not a bad thing though as those two matches are both huge.  The show should be fun and the Ring of Fire has potential to be a nice boost.  They might add another match to the card to flesh it out a bit, but overall it should be good.  Just don’t expect much outside of the main events.

Thoughts/predictions?

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

We’re done with Summerslam now. It’s very different from Wrestlemania and that’s a good thing. Wrestlemania is the serious show of the year but Summerslam has a much lighter feeling. It’s called the Biggest Party of the Summer and it feels like that a lot of the time. The main events are usually big enough and the show feels important, but it’s definitely less serious than Mania. That’s a good thing too, as you’re simply not going to out-important Wrestlemania, so why try? It’s a good series, but like any other show there are some BAD years for it.

That’s it for the redos of the major shows. I definitely enjoyed coming back and looking at them again, but this is going to be the last time I do this. It’s a two fold reason: first of all, it takes WAY too much time. I spent eight and a half months doing these combined and it’s going to get even longer every time. At the end of the day I can’t do 100+ redos every few years. It’s just not realistic. The other issue is the same as it is for any show: I’ve covered them. There just isn’t anything left to say about a lot of these shows. I mean, how many times can I talk about a Natural Disasters match? It would get repetitive and that’s not fun.

However, I will be doing the count-ups every year and I’ll redo each year’s previous show for the Big Four each year. Maybe I’ll eventually do these series again, but it’ll be one a year and not all back to back. It just can’t be done and it takes away too much time from other stuff I could be looking at.

Anyway, thanks for checking them out and I’ll have new stuff up soon, probably by the time you’re done reading this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

I’m finishing off Brock vs. HHH and this occurred to me.Back in 2008, the Smackdown title match at Summerslam was HHH defending against the Great Khali.  The idea of the match was simple: the only thing HHH had that could keep Khali down was the Pedigree so it was all he went for.  He finally hit his home run move and Khali DIDN’T GET UP.  Here’s what popped into my head: how long has it been in a WWE PPV main event that it took one finisher to beat someone?  It was a running joke in Rock vs. Cena and it’s an annoying problem.  Based on the logic of you can hit however many finishers you want, right hands could be considered a finisher as if you hit enough of them you’ll win a match.

HHH vs. Khali is shockingly good too. Check it out.

Smackdown
Date: August 16, 2013
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re two days away from Summerslam and the card is finally set. The main matches have gotten the best builds, which makes the most sense given that they’re selling the show entirely. There isn’t much to talk about tonight as we’ll mainly be focusing on a final push towards Los Angeles and Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going.

Here are the Wyatts to open things up. After a video recapping the Wyatts vs. Kane, Bray says the Family’s actions have been misinterpreted lately. Once upon a time there was a special little boy who went to school but the kids there were cruel. The boy was bigger than the other kids so they made fun of him and beat him up for being himself. One day that boy decided to change the world, but instead he ran away and hid behind another crutch.

He hid behind a mask and thought it would make everything better. That boy was Kane and everyone eats up his lies. Well Bray Wyatt says no more while crawling around on his knees. He walks on water just because he can and bites the head off a snake just to taste its poison. This Sunday in the City of Angels, Bray will prove that one man’s nightmare is another man’s paradise, so follow the buzzards.

Kane’s pyro goes off and Kane runs in from behind, taking out the Family before going in to fight Wyatt himself. Bray charges at Kane but gets punched down in the corner. The Family comes back in again and Bray runs Kane over, allowing the Family to beat him down. Bray is in the corner, bending over backwards so he can watch this upside down. Sister Abigail lays Kane out. Bray continues to be so eerily creepy that the character is perfect.

Damien Sandow vs. Christian

Jobber entrance for Sandow as he handcuffs the briefcase to the post again. Sandow headbutts him down to start but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Christian but Sandow drapes him over the top rope to take over. Off to a body vice before Christian is thrown to the floor again. A whip into the steps puts Christian down again and we take a break.

Back with Sandow holding a chinlock but Christian fights out with elbows to the ribs. Sandow fires off some knees to the head to take over but gets backdropped down moments later. The reverse DDT gets two on Sandown but he ducks a cross body to put Christian down again. Christian’s sunset flip out of the corner gets another near fall but Sandow cartwheels out of the Killswitch. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow but Christian small packages Sandow for the pin at 5:20 shown of 8:05.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the same problems are here as they are in all Sandow matches: he never feels like a favorite to win anything and his offense isn’t building to anything because he doesn’t have a big finisher. I know he has the Terminus, but when is the last time that won a match? Sandow needs some big changes to his in ring work if anyone is going to buy him as a threat. The worst thing is most of his problems aren’t even his fault. He’s been booked as a loser and it’s really hard to get out of that downward spiral.

Post match Sandow goes after Christian again and gets speared down, just in case you thought he had some dignity left. Del Rio comes in from behind and lays out Christian. He says Christian will never be champion and loads up the cross armbreaker but Christian counters into the Killswitch. So Del Rio and Sandow just both got laid out in the stretch of a minute, yet WWE will still wonder why no one is impressed by either guy.

Renee Young asks if RVD is worried about the other members of Shield interfering. He looks over his shoulders and sees Big Show and Mark Henry. “No, not really.” The giants say they’ll be watching RVD’s back on Sunday.

Kaitlyn/Natalya vs. AJ Lee/Layla

Natalya gets us going with Layla with Nattie taking over with a headlock on the mat. Layla keeps getting taken down but she kicks out of a Sharpshooter attempt. An AJ distraction lets Layla get in a cheap shot and it’s off to AJ for a choke. Natalya finally snapmares out of it and brings in Kaitlyn to clean house. A backbreaker gets two on AJ and she charges into the fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Everything breaks down and Layla trips up Kaitlyn, allowing AJ to hit a Shining Wizard for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but Kaitlyn’s fall down the Divas’ ladder continues. At least her feud with AJ is pretty much done after this Sunday as we’re moving towards Layla vs. Kaitlyn and AJ vs. Natalya. I don’t know if someone has taken over the division but it’s been much better lately.

Ryback laughs off the question of why he isn’t on Summerslam. He says he lives for brutality and beats up a backstage guy to show how mean he is. Ryback has a spiffy new vest.

Video on Punk vs. Lesnar on Sunday, focusing on Punk’s time as a Paul Heyman Guy. I think some of this is from Punk’s documentary. Punk asked Heyman to not accompany him to the ring anymore and Heyman cost Punk the MITB case. Heyman brought Lesnar back in and Brock destroyed Punk, setting up Summerslam. Really good video here, highlighting everything in the feud and doing a good job of making the match feel like it’ll be a war.

We recap the opening with the Wyatt Family and Kane.

Shield vs. Mark Henry/Big Show/Rob Van Dam

Rollins ducks a right hand from Henry to start and is easily shoved into the wrong corner. A hard slam puts Seth down again and Van Dam comes in with a kick off the top rope. The standing moonsault gets two but Ambrose comes in off a blind tag and clotheslines RVD in the back of the head. A loud WE WANT BIG SHOW chant starts up as Reigns comes in with a big slam of his own. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Roman just stands in front of Rob and looks at him.

A quick spin kick puts Reigns down and it’s off to Big Show off the hot tag. Big Show cleans house until Roman low bridges him to the floor. Show seemed to be grabbing his hamstring or hip. Henry runs over Reigns and throws him at the announce table but Rollins dives over the top to take Mark out. Big Show beats the count at nine and knocks Ambrose out cold with the right hand. Rob comes in with the Five Star for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C. Remember when Shield was stealing the show and having all those great matches against all star teams? Now they’re losing in five minutes to another all star team on Smackdown. This combination could have had a good match with Shield if they had the time to work a tag team formula, but with less than five minutes and a third of that being spent on the floor and on the ending, it didn’t get to go anywhere. It was fun while it lasted though.

The Miz vs. Jack Swagger

Colter calls Miz a phony and blames Hollywood types like him for allowing the destruction of America. Miz takes him straight into the corner and rains down right hands before going after the leg. Jack kicks him away and sends Miz into the corner before doing pushups on Miz’s back. A shoulder block puts Miz down but he catches Swagger in the reverse DDT backbreaker and a neckbreaker. The short DDT gets two for Miz and he goes up top, only to be distracted by Cesaro and shoved off the top. Colter and Cesaro are ejected, allowing Miz to get a quick rollup for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. For some reason I still like Miz. He’s nothing special in the ring and would be better suited as a commentator, but I still like him. This was just a way to remind us what Miz does before he’s host of Summerslam, which I’m guessing means he’ll have authority of some sort at the PPV. Swagger continues to be nothing of note.

Curtis Axel vs. Zack Ryder

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Ryder grabbing an armbar. Axel comes back with right hands and sends Zack into the corner to take over. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and dropkicks Axel down, only to miss the Broski Boot. Curtis ducks a high cross body and a hard clothesline puts Ryder down again. A quick belly to back suplex puts Ryder down as a CM Punk chant starts. Axel hits his neckbreaker into a Diamond Cutter for the pin at 2:59. Pretty much a squash.

Post break Heyman says he was outsmarted on Raw by CM Punk. Punk snuck up on them and hit Lesnar in the face with a camera, so congratulations. Heyman talks about the marketing for Summerslam shifting from Punk wanting revenge to being hunted for revenge. Punk goes down this Sunday.

Video recapping Cena vs. Bryan. The idea of having Cena pick Bryan as the opponent was brilliant.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ. Bryan takes him to the mat and hooks Barrett’s legs for a surfboard but stomps Wade’s knees into the mat. Wade comes back with a shot to the head but Bryan backflips over him in the corner and hits the running clothesline. Now a clothesline from Barrett puts Daniel on the floor and Wade whips him into the barricade. A big boot misses and Barrett gets caught on the barricade, allowing Bryan to fire off some kicks.

Goat Boy pulls out a table but gets rammed into the announce table and sent into the steps to put him down again. The table is sent into the ring but Barrett brings in a kendo stick for some shots to the back. Bryan gets the stick away and Barrett bails to the floor, only to get caught by the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Wade down….and here’s Vince. In a PLAID SUIT.

We take a break and come back with Barrett getting two off a neckbreaker. Vince is looking on from ringside. The table is set up in the corner but Bryan hurricanranas out of a powerbomb. The flying knee off the apron puts Wade down but Barrett sends him into the post to take over. Vince: “YES! YES! YES!” Back in and Wade drives the chair into Bryan’s ribs but a middle rope chair shot only hits mat.

Bryan Hulks Up and hits the running dropkick in the corner before picking up the kendo stick. He alternates between stick shots to Wade’s shoulder and kicks to the chest. The big kick to the head misses and Bryan puts on the YES Lock but Vince pulls the referee out before the submission. Barrett hits the Bull Hammer and Brad Maddox comes out for a regular speed two count.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and kicks Wade in the head but Brad won’t count. Daniel stares him down and Vince slips the kendo stick to Barrett. Wade knocks Brad out by mistake and Bryan puts Barrett through the table. Vince puts on the referee shirt but here’s HHH to referee. Bryan hits a swan dive on Barrett for the pin at 13:15 shown of 16:15.

Rating: C+. Did we really just have four referees (if you count Vince) for a Smackdown main event? This was getting close to the Attitude Era style of so insane it’s entertaining. However, this match makes me worried about what Cena vs. Bryan is going to be like. Those two could have a masterpiece but they might have Vince and HHH take the match over and drag it down. If Cena’s arm is that badly hurt though, that might be all they can do.

Orton comes out and holds up the briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The matches weren’t all that great but this show was about getting us ready for Summerslam. They did a great job at hyping up Punk vs. Lesnar with some of the videos and I’m looking forward to Wyatt vs. Kane more than I was earlier. That being said, Cena vs. Bryan is looking shakier and shakier every day with Vince and HHH being there because there’s nothing wrong with making the main event of Summerslam a pit stop in their big story. This was a good enough show though and did its job of promoting the PPV.

Results

Christian b. Damien Sandow – Small Package

AJ Lee/Layla b. Kaitlyn/Natalya – Shining Wizard to Kaitlyn

Rob Van Dam/Big Show/Mark Henry b. Shield – Five Star Frog Splash to Ambrose

The Miz b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Curtis Axel b. Zack Ryder – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – Swan Dive

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

At least they’ve having a good time with some of this stuff.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2013-08-12/john-cena-five-moves-of-doom-26140514

Also since it’s appropriate, I’m a contributor to Scott Keith’s blog.  Keith is credited with inventing the term Five Moves of Doom for Bret Hart back in the 1990s.  I do NXT, Nitro, Thunder Smackdown and Impact (temporarily) reviews for him and there’s a ton of great stuff over there.  He’s pretty much the reviewer I modeled my own style after.  Check him out at:

rspwfaq.net

Clash of the Champions 33
Date: August 15, 1996
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 8,304
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re at one of the final editions of this show and it’s probably a good thing. This is right after Hogan won the world title as a member of the NWO and tonight it’s his first defense which is against Flair. This isn’t a terrible looking card on paper and I vaguely remember watching it when it aired. I’m on a WCW 96 kick for some reason so this isn’t completely off from what I just got done with. Let’s get to it.

We get a series of clips of Hogan destroying various people as head of the NWO, saying if he’d do things to Savage like he did then what would he do to Flair who he can’t stand? Good question.

Tony and Bobby talk for a bit and we get a video from Nitro with the Outsiders vs. Sting/Luger. The Horsemen came out for a save when Luger was down. This was around the time when Nick Patrick was about to join the NWO but he hadn’t quite done it yet. This was part of attempt #1 to get WCW united out of about 8375, none of which worked.

Crusierweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio had won the title on Nitro the night after Hogan turned and this is a rematch. Tenay shows up for this one. Rey is AWESOME at this point given that his knees are still in their original form here and he’s about 40 pounds lighter before steroids happened. Yeah young fans, the Rey you see today is a giant compared to what he debuted as.

Dean jumps him before the bell and the beating is on. He’s relatively heel here but only as heel as he could get. Rey speeds things up, flying all over the place for a bit to tick Dean off. He speeds up again and takes over with ease. The move that would become known as the 619 is still a taunt here and Rey tries to get at Dean’s mind with it.

Dean slows things down and hits a slick move by setting for a powerbomb and dropping back into a hot shot. JUMPING brainbuster should kill Rey but it only gets two. Cool move by Rey as he gets a running start, grabs Dean and rolls backwards into a Fisherman’s suplex for two. Chinlock goes on by Dean to slow things down. We take a break and Tony says if anything happens we’ll show you. No replay is shown so did they just stand there? Was it a game of freeze tag?

Rey gets a running start and gets LAUNCHED into the air but lands on the middle rope. After catching his balance for a second he backflips off, starting an insane pinfall reversal sequence. That’s reminiscent of one of my all time favorite spots. Shortly after Rey debuted in WWE he was facing Noble on Smackdown.

Jamie threw him over his head (more or less throwing Rey into a leap frog) and Rey landed on the middle rope, didn’t stop for a second and bounced backwards, catching Noble in a rana into a pin. Noble totally telegraphed it but who cared man. That was insane and my jaw hit the floor when I saw that, which does not happen with me. We start talking about Nick Patrick and how he’s apparently become white. And black. That joke didn’t work as well as I wanted it to.

Dean with a leg lock that gets him nowhere. Oddly enough Dean is winning with power here. Rey sends him to the floor and gets a HUGE tope con hilo into a senton. He more or less botches the heck out of a Lionsault off the guardrail but to be fair the big spot just before that makes up for it. Springboard version of the West Coast Pop (doesn’t have that name here) gets two. Now we’re talking about the tag titles for no apparent reason at all.

One of Dean’s signature moves is a gutbuster out of a fireman’s carry off the middle rope. The problem here is that Rey weighs 130lbs soaking wet with a brick in his pocket, so when Dean elevates him for it he loses his grip on Mysterio so there is NOTHING to protect Rey as his ribs hit Dean’s knee. That looked incredible. He covers Rey who gets his foot on the rope. The referee counts three anyway but then waves it off. Rey uses the distraction to get the pin on a victory roll.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME. You had Dean LAUNCHING Rey all over the place, making it look like Rey was flying. The big dives from Rey were top notch and that gutbuster looked incredible. Dean’s timing on that was great too as he had to move his knee into position to have Rey land on it. Great match here and very fun. Unfortunately we have to watch the other 78 minutes of this show.

Glacier is still coming. Holy sweet merciful crap that was one of the biggest bombs of all time. His entrance alone cost over half a million dollars and we had to deal with six months, yes I said MONTHS of vignettes hyping him up.

V.K. Wallstreet vs. Jim Duggan

Get it? VKM, obsessed with money, wears a suit a lot? Yeah it was crap. It’s Mike Rotunda, aka IRS. What does the R stand for anyway? There are fans with an NWO banner and Heenan isn’t sure what to think of that. These two are feuding apparently. Duggan gets a wristlock but Wallstreet gets the ropes. He looks at the camera and says he’s too smart for Duggan who is right behind him. Nice one dude.

Naturally we’re talking about Hogan vs. Flair almost nonstop here. After some basic back and forth stuff we hit the chinlock. Jawbreaker gets Duggan out of trouble. This is incredibly dull. Duggan gets a slam and tries to tape up his fist which was a thing he was doing at the time so the referee tries to stop him. In the ensuing chaos Wallstreet rolls him up for the pin. What the heck ever man.

Rating: F+. Just boring beyond belief here with nothing special going on whatsoever. This was one of those feuds that happened and I don’t think anyone actually remembers it. GrantedI don’t think anyone remembered it as it was happening either. Either way, this was dull beyond belief and a waste of 5 minutes counting introductions.

The Nasty Boys say they’re going to fight. They’ve been having issues with the NWO who they would soon try to join or maybe they already did. Knobbs says they want the gold. Oh and they should be in the triangle match for the titles.

After a break we’re with Gene again who says that earlier he and Tenay were interrupted by the Outsiders and wound up interviewing them. Want to know what was said? CALL THE HOTLINE!!! Oh dear.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Konnan

Naturally they call him Ultimate here because they’re stupid. Thankfully Tony and Mike say the right name but his graphic says Ultimate. Konnan is in regular trunks here which is weird to see. Nick Patrick is the referee here so I’d bet on a lot of the focus being on him because a referee is more important than the wrestlers.

Konnan dominates to start, taking Dragon to the mat and getting an insane looking deathlock/Cloverleaf on him. Dragon’s arms were between his legs and it looked painful very painful. He hits the floor and we hear about how Konnan is all bitter over losing his US Title, which would lead to his heel turn. HEY! That’s a great way to start talking about Hogan!

Dragon sends him to the floor and Sonny lays in some decent kicks of his own. Somehow the referee has no issue with this at all either. Dragon takes over and gets a moonsault and a majistrol cradle for two. Konnan rolls through a German Suplex and uses the tights to get the very fast win. Under three minutes so no rating but this wasn’t anything special at all.

There’s a really old school internet chat going on and Ice Train is there. It’s on Compuserve of all things. Scott Norton, his old partner, jumps him there.

Meng vs. Randy Savage

This should be dull. Savage is badly injured here. Actually scratch the here part as there’s no Savage. That rock version of Pomp and Circumstance is pretty awesome to listen to though. Not so good to put on toast. Savage is too injured to wrestle so it’s a forfeit. Fans are not happy to say the least.

The Dungeon of Doom comes out to talk. Sullivan talks about how he’s never been a fan of Hogan and never praised him. He’s always told it how it is about Hogan and wants an explanation from Gene about him supporting the entire time. Jimmy cuts him off to say how great the Dungeon is…and a Leprechaun is here. No one talks about him but the camera shows him running all over the place. Apparently that’s Dwayne Bruce, the guy that ran the Power Plant and trained Goldberg. Yeah that’s it.

Bull Nakano vs. Madusa

These two had some great matches in Japan so this should be good. Madusa starts off very fast but can’t get much going. Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around the ring by it. That has to freaking hurt so she does it again! Nakano hits her with knunchuks twice and the referee is all cool with it apparently. Madusa totally botches a cross body, hitting Nakano in the feet. Top rope double axe handle to the floor kills Sonny (manager) who then kicks Nakano by mistake for the pin. This was very short but sloppy beyond belief. Terrible match indeed.

Flair and the girls say tonight it’s Flair vs. Hogan with Flair talking about how this is about being the best. He has zero chance to win the title but at least he’s acting intense. Flair says he has the Horsemen backing him up. Liz is so much hotter in the leather jacket and regular shirt than the dresses it’s unreal.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is for the Battlebowl Ring which is apparently a defendable title. Page is on the brink of the push of a lifetime as he would become the first guy to turn down the NWO and become the hottest face in the company for about a year. He has the look down here too. Eddie starts off fast of course but Page takes him down early. Guerrero’s shoulder hits the post so Page stomps on his ribs. He was still learning here.

Page gets a nice spinout gutbuster for two. Heenan still complains about the lack of arm work. DDP has an earring in his ear and Heenan suggests that Eddie rips it out. Brain could be a bit evil at times. They slug it out and Eddie pounds away, winning that aspect of the match. Batista Bomb gets two for Page. Page sets him for a top rope suplex but Eddie knocks him off and gets the Frog Splash for the win and the ring. Diamond Cutter post match and Page keeps the ring. More Diamond Cutters hit and Chavo tries to save which fails as well.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it wasn’t bad. These two feuded forever with the idea being to get Page much better as a result. It kind of worked but the people were tired of the feud once it was over. Anyway, they would meet again for the US Title at Starrcade and then Page would turn and everything would get awesome.

Hogan pops up to yell at Gene. He talks about how there can only be one great one and starting tonight…nothing apparently. This is rather pointless indeed.

Glacier is STILL coming. Exact same ad from earlier.

Chris Benoit vs. The Giant

Ok this has to be good right? It’s Benoit. Woman is helping Benoit out of his vest so Giant DROPKICKS him in the corner. Keep in mind that the Giant is more commonly known as Big Show. He’s still lean here and one of the most amazing athletes you’ll ever seen. This is the Giant that could have destroyed Andre, not the big oaf you see today. Giant immediately grabs him and gets the BIGGEST CHOKESLAM EVER, with every bit of Benoit above the post for the easy pin in 30 seconds if you stretch it out. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Heat are the champions here. This is a triangle match which has some different rules depending on what year it is. This time it’s one fall to a finish and you have to tag in and out. Sometimes it would be elimination, some times it would be three guys in the ring at once, sometimes it would be like this. You never could tell for sure. Ok, please give us something watchable here. I beg of you.

Scotty and Booker start us off. Luger drills Booker with a clothesline to take him to the floor and he’s shaken up. Scott, like an idiot, tags in Luger. If his team isn’t in the match, they can’t win the titles. Well he does have to dumb himself down so maybe that has something to do with it. Stevie in now and they take turns slugging each other down in the corner.

Rick tags himself in and kills Stevie with a Steiner Line. Top rope bulldog gets two as Luger breaks it up. We take a break and are back with Booker and Rick but Sting tags himself in to beat on Booker. There’s an interesting matchup. They alter the top rope rule again so Sting isn’t disqualified. Off to Luger now as the superstars are in control. We get into the psychology part here as everyone keeps breaking things up.

Scott REACHES to get a tag to bring himself in to beat on Sting. Sting has on purple and yellow. Must be an alliance with Cena. Back to Luger as this is getting more like a brawl by the second. Rick gets a nice reverse German suplex as we hear about how the air this high off the ground could be a factor. That’s rather true actually. Luger gets a fireman’s carry which is called the Rack for no apparent reason.

Everything breaks down and it’s Booker vs. Scott in the ring still. Everyone else is fighting in the aisle and here come the Outsiders! They beat the tar out of everyone else but the key thing here is that Nick Patrick does not see it. Scott gets the Frankensteiner but Patrick sees the Outsiders leaving and call that a DQ to throw the match out. Scott is right: that’s nonsense.

Rating: C. The match was starting to get good by the end but of course the referee is more of a focus than the freaking match so we’ll go with that instead. This isn’t much to talk about as far as the ending goes, but the rest of it was pretty good. It’s nothing I’ll remember in half an hour but it was ok while it lasted.

Gene talks to Patrick who says that it was a DQ. Gene says that it shouldn’t have been because it wasn’t in the ring. So freaking what? So if Nexus comes down and beats the heck out of Cena but doesn’t get in the ring it’s legal? Yeah this is rather stupid and Patrick is right here.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Oh look it’s this match again. They talk about the 4th member of the NWO being around but no one knows who he is. It would be DiBiase which would actually save WWF in the long run as it freed up Austin. Fifth would be Giant. Both try to get in each other’s heads which only kind of works. Flair grabs a headlock as Tony tries to convince us that Flair is nervous. That’s very funny.

Hogan struts a bit as this is Larry Z levels of stalling. I love hearing Bobby go off about how he told us all so about Hogan for years. The match is two minutes old and we’ve had maybe 30 seconds of contact. Flair gets in chops and punches to take Hogan down to the floor and he’s very frustrated.

Out to the floor now with Hogan in control. They’re trying to make this out to be a huge match but it’s the same thing we’ve seen so many times before. That was an issue I always had with the NWO. Both guys had been in WCW maybe five years earlier and probably a lot less than that. Also it’s not like they were brand new as everyone knew who they were, but all of a sudden we’re supposed to be terrified of them?

Hogan works over Flair on the floor and mainly his back, but Flair gets him back into the ring and lands a suplex. Hogan, for perhaps the only time ever that I can remember as a true heel, Hulks Up complete with the basic offense. I’d love to have him do that more often I think. He was almost unbeatable with that so why not keep doing the same thing he’s done for years?

Legdrop misses and Flair goes for the leg. SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE: HE GOT IT ON THE PROPER LEG!!! I have never seen him do that in his entire career! Flair gets the hold on the leg that Hogan just hurt and the champ is in trouble! After an attempt at a reversal, Hogan shoves the referee and cue NWO for the big beatdown. The Horsemen, Sting and Luger hit the ring for the save.

Rating: C-. This was your traditional Hogan match from this era: punch, punch, punch, scratch, punch, punch, leg drop. The Hulking Up thing was a nice add-on here though and while it’s not their worst match ever, these two never had that big epic awesome match that they were supposed to have. The matches tended to go downhill after a decent first WCW meeting.

Tony and Bobby wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. The lack of failure is only for the awesome opening match. Aside from that this is one of the weakest shows I can remember in a long time. They did nothing for the most part as everything ended in a DQ or was like three minutes long. Yes they had 9 matches, but when only one is good and two are ok and the other six are bad, what’s the benefit there? WCW was running on pure drama and hype at this point and it’s very clear here. Terrible show but at least it was relatively short.

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