Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.

The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.

Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.

Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.

Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.

Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.

Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog

Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.

Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.

The managers keep arguing post match.

Video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.

Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.

A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.

Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Bob Backlund campaigns for President.

Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.

Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.

Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.

The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.

With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.

A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.

Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.

Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???

WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.

Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.

Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.

A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.

Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.

The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.

Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.

Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+

Redo: C

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-

Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D+

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+

Redo: D

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-

Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C

Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/30/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1996-mick-foley-has-arrived/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews for just $5 from Amazon at:

Also check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

There’s a lot of data here.First up is the always important PPV data:

WrestleMania 29 – 1,039,000 buys

Extreme Rules – 231,000 buys

Payback – 186,000 buys

These numbers are all slightly down a bit from last year, but Wrestlemania was more expensive this year and there were more HD buys which make up the difference.  Overall the quarter is down from last year, but there was a fourth PPV in the second quarter last year as well which explains the loss.

Television revenue, another huge money market for the company, was up $5.6 million (17%) from last year due to the extra hour of Raw and Main Event.

Live event/merchandise revenue were up as well.

Digital media (WWE.com) was up 27%.

Even WWE Studios made a profit.

All in all, this is an excellent report for WWE as the company continues to rake in money hand over fist.

Wrestlefest 1988
Date: July 31, 1988
Location: County Stadium, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 25,866
Commentators: Alfred Hayes, Billy Graham, Sean Mooney

This is another show a lot of you likely have never heard of. It’s in essence a HUGE house show in a baseball stadium that was filmed and released on home video. That being said, the card had fifteen matches and I think the home video has 10 of them. I’ll try to fill you in on what you missed, but there’s hardly anything of note. This is more or less the follow-up to Mania 4 and not quite a preview for the first Summerslam. The main event is Hogan vs. Andre in a cage which is a decent match. Let’s get to it.

Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney and Billy Graham welcome us to the show. This is going to be painful isn’t it?

The official attendance is listed at under 26,000 but there’s no way I’m buying this. It’s probably closer to double that.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Killer Bees

This was the third match on the card after Big Boss Man beat Scott Casey and Brutus Beefcake pinned Hercules. At least they know how to edit a tape down. Bees are in long tights and they look horrible. Hayes points out that they look fat. Graham talks about zombies and I know this is going to be a very long show. Hayes is kind of a tweener announcer but not really.

The Bees are horrible here and completely out of shape. Then again they were promised the tag titles like 4 times and never got them so it’s no wonder that they stopped caring. The crowd is kind of buzzing but it’s rapidly dying here. In a moment that we would consider funny, Jacques hooks Brunzell’s foot in a hold and tags in his brother and they double team. When the referee gets on him, Jacques informs the referee that they have a five count. I knew Danielson was a tape watcher but come on.

This match is painfully generic but it’s not horrible. Ray gets his leg hurt so Jacques tries to fix it. That was odd. Blair taps but that means nothing yet. Oh yeah there’s at least 40,000 people there. That 26k is a joke. To further get the crowd into it we get a Boston Crab on Blair. This thing is just moving very slowly. We get a full nelson to really crank it up and down goes Blair again.

The Rougeaus were decent comedy heels when they wanted to be. It helped that they could wrestle fairly well too. The Bees used to be something like a bad version of the Hardys but now they’re just old and fat. Is there anything funnier than a heel selling an atomic drop? Brunzell gets the hot tag and cleans a bit of house. His finishing move is now a Figure Four when it used to be a dropkick. The dropkick does hit to a nice reaction but it only gets two. Brunzell goes for a slam on Raymond and Jacques punches him, allowing Raymond to fall on him for the pin. Off a punch? Really?

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The crowd died a few times in there which is never a good sign for an opener or any match for that matter. The Bees were the tag team jobbers at this point and this went nowhere at all. To be fair though this wasn’t the opening match so that makes up for a bit of it. Could have been worse I suppose, but not by much.

Bad News Brownvs. Bret Hart

This is fallout from the Mania battle royal and Bret is officially a face now. Brown would get a short feud with Randy Savage soon after this which was very interesting although it never went anywhere really. The referee gets on Brown for being too evil and Brown tells him not to worry about it. That’s a nice line actually.

Brown goes up and Bret is, say it with me, PLAYING POSSUM. Why would anyone buy Bret selling anything ever? It’s what he does and he does it better than anyone. Bret can’t get anything of note going here. Brown yells out for the Ghetto Blaster, his running enziguri finisher. Here comes the Hitman who might not have that name yet. He hits a sweet dive over the top and Brown is in trouble now.

They crank it up and the match starts getting good. Bret doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so he’s going for whatever he can get to get a pin. He hits some of the five moves of doom but after a rollup Brown reverses into one of his own and uses the tights for a win. Neidhart comes out and they both beat down Brown to an extent. I’d love to see them in a real fight as Brown would massacre them.

Rating: B-. Solid little match here as neither guy meant anything yet. Hart was supposed to be showcasing himself here and he did that quite well. He looked like this fast guy that could brawl and have solid matches to go with it. Then they put him back with Neidhart a few weeks/months later and this was completely forgotten about of course.

Honky Tonk Man goes to the interview area to talk to Gene. He says absolutely nothing of note and says he’ll keep the title.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Manvs. Jim Duggan

Something tells me to expect a screwy finish. Graham enjoys the HO chant far too much. Duggan was a fairly big deal at the moment, sort of about the level of Morrison. Honky was a guy that kept holding the title through nefarious means and the fans were drooling for him to lose the belt to anybody. He’s one of the few occasions in wrestling where people would pay to see him get beaten up.

Duggan pounds away as you would expect him to. It amazes me to think that these two would manage to get into WCW a few years later with Duggan squashing Steve Austin in like 40 seconds for the US Title. It’s starting to get dark around this time and it’s ALL Hacksaw. Honky comes back with some heel offense but it lasts like a minute.

Duggan wants the Three Point Clothesline but Hart grabs his leg for the DQ. This was the standard Honky match and it worked just fine. We had Duggan moments from winning the belt for sure but Honky cheats to keep it. That would only last about a month longer. Duggan gets Jimmy afterwards but the heels mess up and nothing goes well for them. Crowd loves it of course. Duggan destroys the guitar after Honky leaves.

Rating: C. I went with a C because this is the epitome of an average match for this time period. Honky gets the tar beaten out of him and then here comes the interference or other nefarious means to keep the title. It’s as basic of a heel psychology as you could ask for but it drew crazy money since people wanted to see him lose finally. That’s why the pop was so insane at Summerslam when he finally lost.

Power of Pain vs. Bolsheviks

Seriously we don’t skip this? The Powers of Pain came in as faces but were well on the way to being heels as they and Demolition would do the double switch at Survivor Series. The Powers of Pain have the worst music I can remember in a long time for a team like them. The faces, which feels weird to use to describe the POP, clear the ring very quickly.

Volkoff and Barbarian start us off. Was there ever a time from the early 80s to the late 90s where Barbarian wasn’t employed by one of the big two? He gets a sweet powerslam on Zhukov where he jumps in the air and gets extra momentum. To say this match is slow and plodding is a huge understatement. It’s all power stuff which isn’t something you want to see for a long time.

Warlord gets blasted in the back off the top by Zhukov and STILL manages to win a test of strength. Now THAT is how you no sell something. Barbarian gets beaten down as something more interesting happens to the right of the ring as you see everyone get up to look at it. No clue what it was but I’d rather watch it instead. The stadium is starting to get dark now and after a 30 second comeback which is a stretch also, a powerslam and top rope headbutt on Boris ends it.

Rating: D. I know I’ve been saying that a lot but dang this was boring. They just kind of beat on each other for a bit and then did the finish. These four just didn’t flow well together at all. For the life of me I have no idea why the company thought the POP were a good choice as faces but they eventually got it and switched them and Demolition. Getting there was a long wait though.

Jim Neidhart vs. Lanny Poffo

This was when Poffo was still a leaper and threw out Frisbees with his poetry on them. He was the king of jobbers at this point though so if nothing else he’s not bad. I think his brother would be up next. He uses a moonsault which misses but was a big spot back then as he was the first WWF guy to use it I believe. I think Jim is a heel here but it’s not entirely clear. The crowd is totally dead here. After just beating the tar out of Poffo a powerslam ends it.

Rating: N/A. Total squash here. I think they were toying with splitting up the Harts but that wouldn’t happen for nearly three more years, resulting in Bret breaking out on his own and then Neidhart kind of fading away, although doing so in a positive way.

So next up on the card we were supposed to get an epic Savage vs. DiBiase match for the title. We don’t get that on the tape though. HOWEVER, thanks to the joys of the internet, we get it anyway! This is more or less a bonus match so enjoy.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Yeah they cut this off for no apparent reason. This is one of about the million rematches these guys had, each one totally awesome. This is from a Savage tape released by WWF back in I think 89 so they didn’t have a ton to work with. This doesn’t have Graham on it so maybe the commentary was recorded later on instead of like the rest of the show. It’s all Savage to start and the fans are WAY into this.

Savage hits an atomic drop and we get to see DiBiase’s picture perfect selling to send him to the floor. It’s so weird to think that Virgil would be in the company over 22 years later and working with Ted DiBiase still. A handful of tights get DiBiase in control as we hit the floor for a bit. DiBiase is just fun to watch. Everything he does just comes off as so perfectly smooth and crisp.

They slug it out on their knees and Sean says it looked like a midget boxing match. Someone make a Half-Pint Brawlers joke. DiBiase busts out a Spinning Toe Hold of all things. Savage is limping a good bit as I’m having trouble coming up with jokes for this as it’s a very good match.

Savage tries to get his knee to work again after the lethal toe hold. Hayes points out that he’s favoring his knee. I love high level analysis like that. Virgil interferes and it lets Savage get a rollup for two. Hayes goes on to point out that Savage messes up and sells the wrong knee. Wow this guy is getting on my nerves. Is there a point to the way DiBiase does that falling punch?

Out of NOWHERE Savage hooks a small package to retain. Post match the heels beat on him some more as the fans boo loudly. DiBiase puts on the belt but Savage stops him with a chair. The crowd is oddly dead for the post match stuff.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here but were you expecting something else? They got about fifteen minutes and just beat each other up. I’m sure they did this match about a dozen times but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. Savage was in a zone at this point but DiBiase might be a step better. That’s saying a lot and it resulted in matches like these. Very solid stuff and fitting for a main event match. Now why was this cut off the tape?

Speaking of being cut off, Curt Hennig and Terry Taylor had a match here which I believe was their debut for the company in both cases.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Rude

This is more fallout over the Cheryl Roberts kiss that didn’t happen thing which was a big time angle back in the day and was incredibly well received. Naturally the fans pop very well for this so they got that part right for sure. Jake comes running out and beats up Rude to start us off very fast. Why do we keep getting shots of Rude’s tights going down? Is there a strange fetish thing going on there?

Something tells me this is going to be long. They had a 15 minute draw at Mania so they’ll likely do something similar this time around. We hit the chinlock and something tells me we’re going to be here for a good while. I’m glad I was wrong there. Rude kicks him in the balls and no one seems to care. We hit the chinlock again to kill more time. This is going to last awhile.

How can someone live for that long with an arm around their neck like that? I just ask because Jake has been in this for about three minutes so far and is still alive. The announcers try as hard as they can to make this interesting and just can’t do it. The hold is broken and Jake gets knocked to the floor just to continue this torture. Rude gets crotched on the top rope and Jake makes his comeback.

The camera work in this match is making my head hurt. They’re doing FAR too many closeups. Jake goes for the DDT but Rude shoves the referee down so that he lands on him, cushioning the blow. I keep forgetting how tall Jake is. The referee is back up and Rude is leaving. Jake follows and say it with me: DOUBLE COUNT OUT. I watched 17 minutes for that finish. I hate my life. The snake gets on Rude post match and wraps around his throat in a cool visual.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. They fought that long and nothing of note happened. It was just bland filler that never went anywhere at all. These two had a white hot feud and yet nothing ever came of it. Also Rude pulling the referee down isn’t a DQ? This was just bad and really brings the show down.

Haku vs. Sam Houston would be here. I’m glad they left it out.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby Heenan

This is kind of a famous match. The loser wears a weasel suit. You figure out who wins this one. I’ll give you a hint: he’s crazy. Neither gets an entrance which is weird. We get some of Warrior’s music but that’s it. Heenan runs for his life multiple times but Warrior drops to the floor so Heenan can’t see him and surprises him. Yes, Warrior used his brain and it worked.

Heenan gets a foreign object and pops him with it after calling Warrior a son of a gun. Wouldn’t an object like that be fine to a guy from Parts Unknown? Heenan hits him with it like five times and can’t drop Warrior. He more or less just jabs it in Warrior’s throat over and over but it doesn’t work at all. Warrior bangs on his chest and I think you can figure the rest out from there.

Warrior puts him out with a sleeper which makes sense here and puts the suit on him. Where does one get a weasel suit? Was there a furry convention in town? You know for being in a sleeper for about 30 seconds, he’s WAY out of it. Warrior bangs on his chest once he gets it done like someone standing over his fallen prey. Ooh that was a good one. Bobby wakes up and realizes he has claws and a tail. This is like Kafka’s worst nightmare.

Rating: N/A. This was for comedy more than anything else. They tried to make the match into nothing at all and that’s what the best answer was. Heenan was always a good sport though and could do just about any kind of comedy so this was perfect for him.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. British Bulldogs

The Bulldogs are more or less done at this point as they would be gone very soon. Yeah their last appearance as a team was at Survivor Series, about four months after this. They had one televised match in between: a draw at Summerslam. Demolition is getting more and more popular at this point, having won the titles at Mania. They would hold them for over a year, setting the record that still stands for longest tag title reign.

If nothing else the music here is great. Davey vs. Smash starts us off which is probably the best combination given how broken down Billington was at this point. Dynamite comes in and gets the tar beaten out of him which makes something close to sense I guess. Graham suggests Hayes manages the Bulldogs. Thankfully that never happened. He says they should be more malicious.

Graham needs to shut up now. When Mooney is your most competent announcer you can tell this isn’t going to go well. Dynamite comes back in maybe 30 seconds after getting beaten down for far too long. The snap suplex hits Axe and they do the launch headbutt. Dynamite busts out the Octopus Hold but Axe gets a cane shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing really great here but this was just to give us a tag title match against a competent team so that certainly worked. The Bulldogs were done at this point but theyw ere still good for stuff like this. It’s no classic or anything but it’ll do just fine for what it’s supposed to be here.

Ken Patera vs. Dino Bravo

Commentators were actually suggesting that Patera retire at this point due to a lack of skill. He only had two moves: a full nelson and a bearhug at this point. Hopefully this is short. Bravo is a “world title contender” allegedly. That’s very funny. Patera was finally back after being put in jail for beating up a cop back in the day and no one cared.

He was this era’s Mark Henry: he used to be in the Olympics and then left for a long time before coming back to no one caring. Patera keeps going for rollups and such but gets caught in the side suplex to end it. At least it was short.

Rating: D-. Again this just wasn’t any good. There was nothing to Patera at this or most any other point in his career so it’s not like this meant anything. At least it was short, and when that’s the best thing you can say about a show, it’s not good.

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

This is obviously the main reason to see this show as these two were still a pretty big draw at this point. Andre is almost as tall as the cage, which makes the whole 15 feet thing a bit of a stretch. Hogan of course gets a huge pop. Normally I would complain about Hogan getting the main event over the champion, but here it makes sense. Hogan is now the greatest sportsman of all time. Oh dear.

This is escape only. This doesn’t quite have the appeal of Mania 3 for some reason. Andre is aging very badly at this point, not even able to stand up straight anymore. Sean listed the rules at the beginning of the match and then Hayes spends a minute and a half asking how you win. It’s not comical like when Heenan did it. Hayes just doesn’t get it. They punch and choke each other a lot. Andre ties Hogan to the cage with his t-shirt and Hayes thinks Andre should go up top and jump to the floor.

For some reason Andre thinks a t-shirt is going to hold Hogan. Has he not watched ANY of Hogan’s entrances over the years? Andre is on his knees and uses a bearhug on Hogan. That’s just a weird visual. He switches up his offense and uses an elbow drop. Andre takes a turnbuckle pad off which even Graham sees the problem with: YOU’RE IN A STEEL CAGE.

It busts Hogan open though and you can clearly see him blade. Andre bites the cut, clearly being influenced by Twilight and wanting to be a sparkly giant. Hogan makes his comeback and drops the leg. No slam or anything but just clotheslines. Heenan comes in and gets beaten up too. Andre tries to climb out but gets caught and tied up in the ropes. After another shot to Heenan, Hogan wins over the top. He doesn’t even pose.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and nothing of note at all. Hogan was clearly winning the whole time and with just 10 minutes of punching etc, there isn’t much good going on here. Then again it’s Hogan in his prime doing what the fans wanted to see so it’s a bit difficult to trash it. This was a house show though, so Hogan winning to send them home happy is what matters most.

After the show ends we see the three hosts standing in front of the “stadium”. The green screen effect might not be so obvious if the fans in the picture actually you know, moved?

Overall Rating: D. This show is BAD. Keep in mind that the Savage/DiBiase match wasn’t on the tape so you really can’t count that one. Other than that there just isn’t anything of note here. Then again like I said this was just a filmed house show so it wasn’t supposed to be anything classic. It’s boring beyond belief, but it wasn’t supposed to be a PPV quality card. There are far worse shows but the two big ones aren’t bad for checking out for historical sake. Also, including the extra match, all this was done in two hours and fifteen minutes. That’s not bad for like 12 matches. Anyway, check out the main two and that’s about it, but only one is actually good.

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Monday Nitro #130
Date: March 9, 1998
Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Veterans Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Uncensored and the card is almost entirely set. Tonight is going to be about finalizing everything for Sunday with the focus likely being on Savage vs. Hogan instead of Sting vs. Hall. Other than that there might be some time spent on Page vs. Benoit vs. Raven but it’s going to pale in comparison to Age in the Cage. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Thunder of Savage saying he’s the real man and Hogan’s wife knows it. Hogan freaking out over possibly being thrown out of the NWO is a nice bit of storytelling.

The announcers hype up the show and Larry gets a very nice response from the crowd.

Ernest Miller vs. Damien

Damien is unmasked here which I don’t think was always the case, although it might have been face paint. Miller is in shorts instead of his usual attire and it’s a striking contest to start things off. Damien puts him on the middle rope for a hurricanrana but dives into a kick to the chest. Miller runs up the ropes and hits a spin kick to the face for a quick pin. This was an odd choice for an opener but the kick to end it looked great.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan with something to say. Eric sucks up to Hogan, saying that no one will ever be half of what Hogan is now. However, Bischoff wants to talk about ingrates like Randy Savage. If it wasn’t for Hogan, Savage’s family would be out of a job and out on the street, so it’s now time for Savage to pay the price. Hogan talks about Savage dragging Liz into this business and implies she did everyone in the locker room. That draws a big gasp from the crowd. Hogan goes on about how great he is until it’s time to pose.

Gene is at Duke University with the Nitro Girls.

Lenny Lane vs. Sick Boy

Lane’s music starts when he’s halfway down the aisle. Lenny hits some basic stuff to start but the much taller Sick Boy comes back with some right hands. Lodi has the words Go Heels on his back. Lane dives over the top to take both Flock members down and gets two off a missile dropkick back inside. Sick Boy comes back with a layout F5 and some right hands to the head.

A running elbow in the corner puts Lane down but he avoids a top rope elbow. Lane gets a rolling cradle for two followed by something resembling a Skull Crushing Finale. Back up and Lane horribly botches a standing Lionsault, making it more like a springboard back clothesline. There was no rotation at all and they’re lucky Lane didn’t land on his head. Thankfully Sick Boy rolls over Lane’s back and hits a quick Pedigree (the Cure) for the pin.

Rating: D. Lane was trying but he was in over his head with the moves he was going for. Sick Boy’s size got in his way here as he wasn’t able to do much against the much smaller Lane. The match would have been better with a better pairing, but with the two guys we had it was bordering on a disaster.

Here’s Giant, still in a neck brace, with something to say. Giant has been looking for Kevin Nash to get a head start on Sunday’s match but he’s nowhere in sight. He mentions having buddies, which brings out Savage and Sting, FINALLY holding the belt. Savage says he doesn’t feel alone because Giant is about 8,000 feet tall and Sting is the world champion. Sting beats on the ropes with the bat as Savage challenges Hogan and any other two guys from the NWO to a six man tonight.

Goldberg vs. Barry Darsow

Darsow is more famous as Smash from Demolition or Repo Man. He’s just Barry Darsow, guy in trunks here though. Goldberg immediately takes him down by the leg before running Barry over with a shoulder block. A lariat sends Darsow to the floor and Goldberg rams him into the barricade and post. Goldberg misses a shoulder into the post though and Darsow goes after the arm. The arm is sent into the buckle but Goldberg snaps awake and hits the spear and Jackhammer for the quick pin.

Gene is still at Duke University.

Here’s Hall with something to say. There’s no survey tonight, because he needs to talk about Savage running down Hogan. If Hollywood needs him, Hall is in his corner tonight. As for Sting, Hall will prove he’s better on Sunday. Thanks for throwing in something about your first WCW World Title shot. Nash comes out and says he’ll have Hogan’s back as well and Giant will get what’s coming to him too.

Dean Malenko vs. Kidman

Dean quickly takes him down and tries the Cloverleaf but Kidman rolls to the ropes. A dropkick gets two for the itchy one and he kicks Malenko in the head a few times. Dean misses a dropkick and it’s off to a chinlock. Kidman shoves Malenko chest first into the buckle and stomps him down in the corner in a surprising show of aggression. A slingshot legdrop gets two on Dean and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Here’s Jericho to watch Malenko as Kidman slams Dean down for two. Kidman goes up top but gets caught in the middle rope gutbuster. The Cloverleaf is good for the submission.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the gutbuster is always cool to see. Jericho didn’t really do anything here but his presence alone is usually entertaining. Dean is a great foil for Jericho with the serious vs. goofy natures battling each other. Kidman is good but he’s almost playing his gimmick too well as the lack of interest makes for less than thrilling matches.

Jericho and the Flock gets in to stare down Malenko but the Flock beats Jericho down instead. Chris and Dean escape separately.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something else to say. Bischoff says Hogan has had to draw straws to pick his partners. Hogan talks about Savage being cool with the NWO for a long time before everything fell apart. The NWO is better than ever without Savage though, which brings us to tonight. Hogan has picked Hall and Nash as his partners (shocking) because they would never stab him in the back. This didn’t need to be done in the arena.

More Gene and the Nitro Girls. Are these segments supposed to be interesting?

Bryan Adams vs. Kaos

From Bret Hart to this for Adams, which is much more appropriate for a guy of his caliber. Adams jumps Kaos to start and lays him out with a quick piledriver. A kick to the shoulder puts Kaos down again and a gutbuster gets two. I’m leaving out the walking around between each move to avoid redundancy. Kaos comes back with a jawbreaker and a clothesline for two before his partner Rage goes up top. Adams fights Kaos off with ease and kicks Rage down before hitting a tilt-a-whirl slam on Kaos for the pin.

Rating: D. WAY too long here with Adams showing how limited his offense is at this point. That flat out shouldn’t be the case for someone with the kind of experience that he has. Adams didn’t look good out there other than the tilt-a-whirl finisher, but at least it was against a jobber and not anyone of value. Also what was up with High Voltage trying to double team like that? It came off like Adams was the good guy fighting off cheaters here.

Post match Adams hits the tilt-a-whirl on Rage for a pin as well.

Here’s Konnan who talks a lot of trash about Juventud Guerrera and says he has an opponent for him of the same size and weight. If Juvy can beat this guy, he can have a match against Konnan.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Scott Norton

Juvy tries to dive on Norton and just bounces off. Chops have no effect either and we head inside. Norton launches him into the air for a great looking crash. Guerrera comes back with a missile dropkick but a springboard spinwheel kick is caught into a backbreaker. Off to a bearhug followed by a full nelson to make Juvy scream. Guerrera will not give up and Norton lets him go, only to hit the shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. What in the world was the point of this? Juvy can’t beat a guy he shouldn’t be able to beat and Konnan gets to laugh a lot? Guerrera not giving up was a nice idea, but having him destroyed by a shoulder breaker a few seconds later doesn’t make him look that great. This didn’t do much for anyone.

Video on Raven vs. Page vs. Benoit.

Chris Benoit/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Perry Saturn/Raven

This should be good. Benoit and Saturn slug it out to start and Perry gets two off a northern lights suplex. Chris takes him into the corner and makes the tag off to Page for a swinging neckbreaker. Raven gets the tag but Benoit tags himself in before Page can get himself a piece. Benoit runs Raven over and Saturn is knocked to the floor as well as we take a break.

Back with Page being double teamed in the corner….which has switched for some reason. As in the teams have switched corners during the break. Raven snaps Page’s throat across the ropes for two but Page comes back with a sunset flip. No count though as Benoit is making a save, allowing Raven to put on a front facelock. Page fights his way over to Benoit but the referee is with Saturn so it’s no good. Saturn comes in for a bearhug on the bad ribs which lasts for a good long while.

Page finally breaks free but Saturn trips him up, allowing Raven to stop the tag. A great looking guillotine legdrop gets two for Saturn but an elbow drop misses, allowing for the hot tag off to Benoit. The Canadian cleans house but Raven breaks up the Rolling Germans with a low blow. The Evenflow is countered into the Crossface but Page Diamond Cuts Saturn onto Benoit to break the hold. Page and Benoit get in a fight and brawl to a countout.

Rating: B. For once this is the right ending as it builds up to the PPV match perfectly well. This was a really solid tag match which followed the formula to perfection and had the fans losing their minds for the hot tag. It’s another example of what should be the first rule of wrestling: when things start to go bad, have a good wrestling match and things will get better in a hurry.

Goldberg and Disco Inferno went to Duke University hospital earlier today.

Gene gets some Dominos Pizza as the Girls keep dancing.

Hour #3 begins.

Konnan vs. British Bulldog

Konnan starts a USA chant in a funny bit. The Bulldog rolls and spins out of a wristlock and hooks a chinlock a minute into the match. Konnan fights up and takes Bulldog down with a clothesline and a back elbow to the jaw for two. A low dropkick gets two on the Bulldog before he gets up and…..rolls himself up for two? Bulldog was the one doing the move but rolled onto his shoulders with his feet in the air before kicking out. Odd indeed. Anyway Konnan comes off the ropes but walks into a horrible powerslam for the pin by Bulldog. This was really, REALLY bad while it lasted.

Here’s Flair and remember we’re in North Carolina. Flair talks about how the last time he was in this city, Curt Hennig slammed a cage door on his head. This time though, it’s Hennig’s turn to take a beating. Tonight Hennig will be Carolina Dreaming. Flair didn’t have much to say here.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs a headlock to start but Disco takes him down with a hiptoss. Disco sends him over the top and out to the floor but Jericho blocks an ax handle from the apron with a dropkick to the ribs. Back in and Disco gets two off a sunset flip but the champ drops him throat first across the top rope. Disco catches a charging Jericho in something like a spinebuster for two. A swinging neckbreaker gets a VERY close two but Jericho comes right back with the double underhook backbreaker and the Liontamer retains the belt.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting with Disco continuing to impress in the ring. Jericho was playing it straight tonight and came up with a decent match as a result. The match with Malenko on Sunday is getting overlooked for some reason but it should be good as well. Nice match here.

Remember how Gene was at Duke University with the Nitro Girls? He’s still there.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Eddie follows Chavo out and tries to talk some reason into him before the match. Booker yells at Eddie, allowing Chavo to get in a cheap shot before the bell. A dropkick to the leg takes Booker down but Eddie has the referee during the cover. Booker hits the spin kick to take Chavo down but the ax kick mostly misses. The missile dropkick is good for a quick pin for Booker in an abrupt ending.

Post match Eddie gives Chavo a brainbuster for losing.

Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair

Before the match, Flair tells Hennig and Rude that he’s going to do this for every Horseman ever. Flair hits a quick hiptoss to send Curt to the floor and the fans freak out. Back in and Curt fires off some chops before sending Flair out to the floor for a beating from Rude. Ric gets back in and slugs it out with Flair knocking Hennig down to the mat. A low blow has Hennig in even more trouble and Flair brings in a chair. He puts Hennig in the Tree of Woe and picks up the chair but the NWO runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but Ric in North Carolina is always worth a look. Flair vs. Hennig had gone on for months and then just stopped cold for the sake of a DDP vs. Hennig match at Starrcade. It’s good to see them bring things up again but the fire was gone at this point.

Post match the NWO runs in for the beatdown but Bret makes the save.

Scott Steiner/Scott Norton vs. Rick Steiner/Lex Luger

For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner will only be called Scott, Scott Norton will only be called Norton and Rick Steiner will only be called Rick. Rick comes out with a bulldog (Heenan: “He brought his sister!”) and chases off the NWO before the bell. We start with Rick vs. Norton and the NWO member being thrown down with a belly to belly. Scott bails to the floor from a glare from his brother and it’s Luger coming in with an ax handle to Norton’s shoulder.

Off to Scott who is run over by a few clotheslines and it’s time for the brothers to fight but Scott bails to the corner. Norton runs over Rick and it’s finally time for Scott to come in and pound away. Rick gets in a single right hand to the ribs and Scott bails to the corner. A backdrop puts Norton down but Scott breaks up the Steiner Bulldog. Luger beats Scott up the aisle and apparently it’s a double countout despite not hearing the count at all.

Rating: D+. This was storyline development as we build towards the eventual Steiner showdown. Luger and Scott have a match on Sunday which was barely mentioned here but at least they fought to end things. Norton was the odd man out and I’m not sure why they had him work twice tonight.

Hollywood Hogan/Outsiders vs. Sting/Randy Savage/The Giant

Thankfully Sting actually wears the belt again. Giant is in a neck brace and street clothes but goes after Nash anyway. It’s a big brawl to start with the three pairs fighting all over the arena. Sting and Hogan get things going with the champion pounding away and getting two off a right hand. Hogan sends him into a few corners and hits Sting in the back but the champion blocks a ram into the corner to get control back. Hall and Nash have their arms stretched out but Hogan doesn’t seem interested in tagging.

Giant gets the tag and Hogan staggers away, falling right into Nash which counts as a tag. Hall and Hogan try to jump Giant from behind but he picks both of them up AT THE SAME TIME in a double bearhug. That guy is so strong it’s unreal. Nash breaks it up though and Giant is in trouble. The NWO goes after Giant’s bad neck and the beating goes on for a good while. Hogan puts on a front facelock but can’t get the brace off.

Sting finally comes in without a tag to give Giant a breather but the brace has been removed. A triple beatdown has Giant in trouble but he shoves all three guys down and makes the hot tag to Savage. Giant gets back up and Nash runs off as Savage pounds on Hogan. Sting and Hall finally have some contact with the champion hitting a few Stinger Splashes before they fight to the floor. In the melee the Disciple comes in with the Stunner on Savage to give Hogan the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but it was much more hype than actual substance. I’ll let the shock of a Nitro main event fitting that description sink in for a minute. Anyway the Sting vs. Hall match continues to be given less attention than even the TV Title match but any other solution might take some of the spotlight of Hogan vs. Savage and we couldn’t have that.

Overall Rating: C. This is an interesting show as they covered most of if not all the matches for Sunday but I really don’t care to see the PPV. At the end of the day the card just isn’t all that good and the Hogan vs. Savage issue does nothing for me. A lot of the other matches sound ok but not good enough to want to watch the show. The wrestling on here was ok but the storylines that dominated things dragged it down.

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Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

…..no. No please don’t make me do THIS show! I’ll pay you to not make me do this waste of a show. If there’s a bottom of the barrel for Summerslam and perhaps the WWF in general, this is it. The main event tonight is King Mabel vs. WWF Champion Diesel in a match that is the preferred method of torture in 19 countries. There is however one bright spot: Shawn vs. Razor II, again in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is like a trailer for the main event matches on tonight’s show, such as the main event, the ladder match, Bret vs. Lawler’s royal dentist and the FINAL blowoff to Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation.

Dean Douglas (Shane Douglas as a high school teacher) will be grading tonight’s matches. That’s a brilliant idea. Someone else should watch a lot of matches and grade them in detail.

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is still a face here and is starting to look someone older. Hakushi is a Japanese guy who is covered in individual characters, even on his face. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. The Kid backflips out of a wristlock and armdrags Hakushi across the ring to take him down. Things speed up with the Kid hip tossing him down but being kicked off by Hakushi into a stalemate. They run the ropes again but both hold a rope and try superkicks but neither can connect.

Hakushi goes to the throat as Vince calls the show SummerSlime. A tilt-a-whirl slam puts the Kid down and Hakushi poses on the ropes for a few long moments. Hakushi hits a Vader Bomb for two and Vince thinks the match should be stopped. The Kid is sent to the floor and Hakushi hits a gorgeous moonsault from the mat to the floor followed by a top rope shoulder block for two back inside. A swan dive misses though and Kid sends him to the floor for a dive of his own. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two and a frog splash gets the same. The Kid tries a spin kick but gets caught in a quick powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: C+. Solid opener here with both guys looking good throughout. Hakushi really was something special and the fans would turn him face through pure love of his high flying abilities alone. The Kid would be turning heel soon after this in a move that most people didn’t care about for the most part.

Doc Hendrix (Michael Hayes) is WAY too excited about what Mabel’s master plan is for Diesel. Mabel says we have to wait and does a decent evil laugh.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.

We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.

We get a video of a charity tug of war between wrestlers and Pittsburgh firefighters. It’s for charity so no jokes here.

Blue Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

The Brothers are Jacob and Eli but are more famous as the bald Harris Brothers (also known as DOA, Creative Control, the Bruise Brothers and about ten other names over the years). Their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently (as of July 2013) Zeb Colter in WWE. Jacob elbows Billy down to start before it’s off to Eli for a slam and some elbow drops. Billy gets a quick two count on Jacob before it’s off to Bart for some arm work. Jacob whips Bart into the corner before bringing Eli back in to get caught by a cross body for two.

The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as it was completely uninteresting. That’s the problem with so many parts of 1995 WWF: the people just weren’t interesting at all and there was no reason to care about a lot of the matches. All you had here was a midcard tag match that ran about six minutes. It wasn’t any good and there was no story to it, so why was I supposed to care?

We recap the rise of Barry Horowitz. He literally didn’t win a match in years but won a miracle against Skip (Chris Candido) on Action Zone. They went to a ten minute draw a few weeks later and tonight is the final chance for redemption.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Skip has a 22 year old Sunny with him here, putting all the attention on her. Barry has the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila as his theme music. Horowitz starts fast and drops a knee on the fitness guru for two. A knee to the chest puts Skip down and Barry takes down the suspenders. Skip is clotheslined to the floor but Barry pulls him right back in. An O’Connor roll gets two for Barry and he suplexes Skip to the floor. Sunny tries to bring in a towel but gets ejected instead.

She doesn’t leave though and trips Barry up to finally shift momentum. A suplex and a middle rope legdrop get two on Horowitz and the beating continues. Horowitz finally gets up and hits a few shoulder blocks for two but his offense is rather limited. Skip comes back with a clothesline but the fans are chanting for Barry. A powerslam puts Barry down again and some quick legdrops get two for Skip. Off to a chinlock but Barry is quickly up, only to have both guys try dropkicks at once.

Skip is up first and gets a close two off a swan dive. The fans are starting to get behind Horowitz here, but it’s hard to care about a jobber in this big a match. A piledriver is countered and Barry starts his real comeback with a dropkick. He goes up but gets crotched again, allowing Skip to hit a superplex for no cover. Cue Hakushi who Skip cost a win earlier this week to dive over Skip, allowing Barry to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terribly boring or anything but at the end of the day this was a ten minute match with Barry Horowitz facing Skip at Summerslam. That’s not the easiest thing to get into and is more of an historical anomaly than anything significant at all. Nothing to see here at all other than Sunny.

Dean Douglas calls the last match a travesty.

Shawn says he has nothing but the IC Title so there’s nothing Razor can do to take the title from him.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Faye is this rather frumpy fat chick designed to be disturbing. She also has Harvey Whippelman with him as her worshiping admirer. Alundra fires off some quickly kicks to start and the 280lb or so Faye runs her over in response. A bad looking hair pull sends Blayze down and some legdrops get two. Bertha misses a middle rope splash and a victory roll gets two for the champion. Three clotheslines get no count for Alundra as Harvey has the referee. Some middle rope dropkicks stagger Bertha but she avoids a third before hitting a Batista Bomb for the title.

Rating: F. See, Faye was fat and that’s the extent of her character. The title would literally be trashed on Nitro in a few months in the right ending for it. Nothing else to say here.

Remember how I said this show sucked? It’s somehow going to get worse.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama. Kama stole the Urn at Wrestlemania and melted it down into a big chain which ticked off Taker’s Creatures of the Night (goth fans). They brought a black wreath but Kama destroyed both the wreath and the Creature himself. Tonight it’s a casket match.

Taker says Kama went too far.

Undertaker vs. Kama

Kama is more famous as Godfather and is the Supreme Fighting Machine here, which is kind of an MMA gimmick. Taker pounds away in the corner to start before choking Kama down, only to be kicked in the back when he looks at the casket. Taker knocks Kama over the top and onto the casket to freak him out before hitting a quick splash in the corner. Old School connects and Kama is thrown into the casket but pops right back out. A top rope clothesline puts Taker down for a second but he sits right back up.

Kama hits a quick belly to belly suplex but Taker is right back up again. He throws Kama into the casket again but DiBiase makes a quick save. Kama pounds on Taker in the corner and clotheslines him onto the top of the casket where DiBiase can get in some shots. The managers almost get into it but we’re lucky enough to get more of Taker and Kama’s slow brawling. Kama posts him and rams Taker face first into the casket. A suplex onto the casket works over the back a bit but Kame, the genius that he is, can’t open the casket with Undertaker on top of it.

They both stand on the casket and Undertaker backdrops Kama into the ring to block a piledriver. The fans get WAY into this all of a sudden but Kama takes him down with a powerslam. The genius covers Taker but he sits up a few seconds later. Off to a chinlock because this match hasn’t gone on long enough already. Bearer shoves Kama’s feet off the ropes to break up the hold so it’s off to a headlock.

Taker finally fights up but gets whipped into the corner to stop him cold again. The jumping clothesline puts Kama down and a regular clothesline puts him inside the casket, but Undertaker falls in with him and the lid closes. Kama fights out again and hits a neckbreaker in the ring to put the Dead Man down again. Not that it matters as Taker stands up, hits the chokeslam and tombstone and throws Kama into the casket for the win.

Rating: D. WAY too long for the level of “action” in this match. Also did anyone think Kama had a chance against Undertaker in a major match? There was nothing here and the match running seventeen minutes didn’t help it at all. Undertaker would move onto a feud with King Mabel which was at least different than the year of Undertaker vs. DiBiase.

We recap Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart. I’ll let Todd Petingill explain it to you in his voiceovers:

“Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him. He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist. Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.”

Tell me that “He got a dentist” line doesn’t sound straight out of bad horror movie trailer.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

You might know Yankem better as Fake Diesel, who you might know better as Kane. Isaac’s music is made up of dentist drills which is rather creepy. Bret wants to know if he has to fight an evil chiropractor next. The fans lose their minds for Bret, which makes you wonder why he’s fighting A FREAKING DENTIST. Isaac grabs him by the throat and sends Bret into the corner to take over early. This is his debut so Bret isn’t sure what to do with him.

Bret’s right hands in the corners don’t get him anywhere but he avoids a charge and takes Yankem to the floor with some clotheslines. A plancha takes Isaac down and a middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Isaac blocks. Instead a backslide gets two for Hart, only to have Isaac throw him into the ropes and tie up Bret’s arm. The hard whip into the corner puts Bret down and the ropes look pretty loose. Yankem stomps Bret down in the corner and puts him on his back for a choke but Hart counters into a small package.

Lawler rants about having to kiss Bret’s feet after a previous match and is thrilled when Isaac clotheslines him to the floor. Bret is rammed back first into the post and the selling is the mastery you would expect it to be. Back in and Yankem hits a top rope Fameasser for two and a pair of clotheslines for two. Bret knocks him to the floor and sends him into the steps before getting two off the bulldog back inside. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Lawler breaks up the Sharpshooter.

Bret is sent into the steps again as Lawler is playing cheerleader. Yankem loads up the top rope clothesline but Bret slams him down and pounds away in the corner. Bret trips Yankem up and ties the legs around the post to stomp away before going after Jerry. Isaac escapes and dives off the top onto Bret before tying his head up in the ropes. That’s finally enough for the referee and he throws the match out.

Rating: C. This took time to get going but you could see the potential in Yankem. The problem is he was a gimmick wrestler in the vein of T.L. Hopper and Repo Man: you can only go so far with one idea. That’s why Kane was the idea that worked: it was a character that could evolve and had more than one idea to him, thereby making him interesting and someone with staying power. That’s why WWF in 1995 was so terrible: they were all about the dull one note characters and the interest never was there.

Razor Ramon says he’s ready to become a four time Intercontinental Champion and there’s nothing Shawn can do to stop it. Shawn’s pain brings him pleasure and he better be ready to dance.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

This is the second ladder match and Shawn is defending. Michaels is over like free beer in a frat house at this point so Razor is the heel by default. The original plan was Shawn vs. Sid but I guess Vince decided to give the show one awesome match to go with the rest of the drek. Also Doc Hendrix is on commentary now. Vince says you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack on your back to reach the belt. SOMEBODY MAKE THAT MOVIE NOW!!!

They slug it out to start and things speed WAY up until Razor avoids a superkick. A quick Razor’s Edge is escaped and we have a stalemate. Razor hits his driving shoulders and whips Shawn over the corner and out to the floor. Doesn’t that put him closer to the ladders? Shawn jumps Ramon as he goes for the ladder because SHAWN gets to bring in the ladder. Razor suplexes Shawn to the floor with Shawn hitting his knee on the barricade. You can hear Vince see Wrestlemania flash before his eyes.

Back in and both finishers miss again and they clothesline each other down. Razor kicks him into the corner and hits a middle rope fall away slam. We get the first ladder brought in as Sid watches in the back. Shawn heads to the floor as the ladder is thrown in but Razor drops him with a great right hand. Shawn shoves the ladder over to stop Razor’s climb and going up himself, only to have his tights pulled down and his leg caught in the falling ladder. Razor slams the leg in between the ladder in a smart move.

The knee is slammed into the ladder as Razor is starting to go heel mid match. He slams Shawn down onto the ladder a few times as the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. The ladder is placed on the middle rope but Shawn can’t be whipped across the ring. He can however send Razor (who has bad ribs, mentioned for the first time here) into the ladder. Razor comes right back and drops the knee on the ladder before cannonballing down onto the leg. Shawn uses the good leg to shove him to the floor, only to have Razor wrap the leg around the post.

Razor makes his climb but Shawn comes off the top with an ax handle to break it up. Both guys go up the same side of the ladder but it’s Shawn taking Ramon down with a belly to back suplex. Shawn moves the ladder into the corner and sends Razor hard into it before doing the same again in another corner. Michaels’ knee is suddenly fine as he stomps on Razor but climbs the ladder for a moonsault press. A splash off the top of the ladder misses though and both guys are done.

Ramon moves the ladder back to the middle of the ring and both guys climb very slowly. They slug it out on top of the ladder but both fall to the side, crotching themselves on the top rope. Shawn picks up the ladder and charges but falls to the floor with Razor falling out as well. Razor pulls out a second ladder and is fast enough to catch Shawn going up in a Razor’s Edge to put both guys down again.

Both guys climb a ladder but neither are directly under the belt. Shawn kicks Razor’s ladder down and jumps at the belt but crashes down to the mat instead. Ramon is backdropped to the floor on another Razor’s Edge attempt, leaving Shawn to climb up…..and fall when he tries to get the belt. Shawn is TICKED about the botch (how often do you hear about him making one of those?) and sprints up the ladder to retain.

Rating: A. This is a different kind of match than they had in 1994 but it’s still excellent stuff. The first match was all about the high spots but this was based in drama and who could survive the match. I wasn’t wild on Shawn forgetting his knee injury and the botches at the end, but that’s nitpicking an excellent match. This worked very well and was great stuff for nearly half an hour.

Razor hands Shawn the belt post match and reaffirms his face status.

Dean Douglas says the previous match wasn’t all that great and Ramon lays him out.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Mabel has Sir Mo with him. The idea here is Mabel has some kind of a Royal Plan to take the title off Diesel. Diesel fires off right hands to start but gets taken down by a big clothesline. The champion comes back with running clotheslines in the corner but can’t pick the fat man up. More clotheslines stagger Mabel and a running shot sends him out to the floor.

In the ONLY interesting spot of the match, Diesel dives over the top to take Mabel out. Mabel no sells it and sends Diesel into the post but has to stop for a Twinkie break. He finally charges into a boot and Diesel pounds away back inside. Mabel reverses a whip and hits the worst Boss Man Slam you’ll ever see. It looked like Diesel was hitting a DDT on the arm. The buckle pad was ripped off somewhere in there.

Mabel sits on Diesel’s back for another breather before hitting a slam. Mo gets on the apron as Mabel misses an elbow drop….and the referee is bumped off camera. Mo comes in for a double team and Luger runs in for the save but gets nailed by Diesel who thinks Luger is on Mabel’s side. Diesel is knocked to the floor and Mabel drops a leg before throwing the champion back in. Luger beats up Mo in the aisle as Mabel gets two off a belly to belly. A middle rope splash misses and a middle rope shoulder from Diesel is enough to retain the title.

Rating: F. Just….yeah. I’d love to know what Vince was on when he came up with this idea but it’s one powerful drug. Mabel was one of the worst heels of all time as he couldn’t move and was waddling around in shiny purple and gold. This was a terrible match as Diesel couldn’t do anything with the fattness. This might be the worst main event of all time. Luger would be in WCW in eight days on the debut of a show called Nitro.

Overall Rating: D. This show has one good thing going for it: Shawn vs. Razor is 34 minutes long counting intros and post match stuff. The rest of the show, only decent opener aside, is drek. This was a very bad time for the company as the Kliq was dominating everything (notice that they’re in the opening matches and the main events) as Bret was fighting a dentist. Things would pick up a bit by next year but the company was on its deathbed by then. This show is definitely bad but it’s not the worst show of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: D+

Redo: D

Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

Redo: D

Skip vs. Barry Horowitz

Original: B

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye

Original: D+

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Kama

Original: B-

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Isaas Yankem

Original: B-

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: A

King Mabel vs. Diesel

Original: F+

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: D

The original had higher individual ratings but the overall rating was lower. I really was bad at this.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/29/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1995-worst-ppv-ever-pretty-much/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews from Amazon for just $5 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

Rodman Down Under
Date: July 30, 2000
Location: Sydney SuperDome, Sydney, Australia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince Mancini, Ted DiBiase

Why does Youtube have to torment me like this? This is a one off PPV from a tour of Australia that a bunch of old guys (and Dennis Rodman for no apparent reason) put together for a quick buck. The organization is called i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling for whatever reason they came up with. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows Rodman jumping Hennig over and over, making him the heel for the main event. I’m as shocked as you are.

The production values aren’t bad at all as the show is well lit and there’s a pretty good crowd.

Ted and Vince run down the card and tell us the main event is an Australian Outback match, which likely means hardcore.

Here’s Hennig to open the show by talking. He talks about Rodman leaving the basketball court to come into the wrestling world where all Hennig has to do is show up. Hennig wants to fight Rodman RIGHT NOW but Rodman is still in street clothes. Dennis talks about how awesome he is and how he’s going to beat Hennig and can I get my money back for this nonsense? Hennig starts a Dennis Sucks chant but Rodman says they’re here to see him….and that’s it. This is already a waste of my time.

Public Enemy attacked the Road Warriors at a press conference. Good to know.

Tag Titles: Public Enemy vs. Road Warriors

Public Enemy is defending and this is a tables match for no reason whatsoever. Before anyone complains, yes I know Public Enemy does a lot of tables stuff, but there’s no story point to this being a tables match. There’s no story period but that’s to be expected. Public Enemy wants the fans to shut up during the match or Grunge will beat them all up. It’s going to be a night of cheap heat isn’t it? The Warriors’ stomachs are literally hanging over their tights in a sign of the times.

Rocco jumps Animal to start but the Warrior comes back with some lame clotheslines. Grunge comes in and is knocked to the floor seconds later as the announcers make fun of him for being out of shape. Hawk comes in to pound away and hits the flying shoulder to put Grunge down. These guys are really looking their age out there and it’s pretty sad to see. Back to Rocco who is slammed off the top and caught in a powerslam for two. Wait isn’t this a tables match?

Back to Animal vs. Grunge with Johnny clotheslining him out to the floor. Rock whips Animal into the barricade and hits him with the lethal bottle of water to the head. Public Enemy pounds him down in the corner but Rock misses a running crotch attack at the ropes. Grunge breaks up the hot tag attempt and Rocco goes up as this match is still in slow motion. Rocco jumps into a boot to the face and we finally get the hot tag to Hawk.

He takes both Enemies down with some lame neckbreakers before missing the top rope clothesline to a downed Grunge. Everything breaks down and Hawk is laid out on a table for the flip dive from Rocco….which doesn’t end the match. Rock is confused so he tries again on another table but drives himself through it instead. Animal hits a horrible shoulder to Grunge in the ring but Rock pops him with a chair. We get a table in the corner now and a spear/shoulder from Animal sends both Enemies through it for the titles.

Rating: D-. This is only above a failure because I love the LOD (Legion of Doom, meaning the Road Warriors for you young pups). It was sad to see these teams looking so old and out of shape but the rules made it even worse. They went back and forth between pins and tables with the table on the floor not counting. I’m assuming it’s because it wasn’t in the ring but the announcers nor the referee ever told us that.

Here are the I-Generettes to fill in time on an hour and forty five minute show.

Barbarian vs. Brute Force

Force is Brutus Beefcake and this is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. Brutus pulls Barbarian away from posing for a trashcan shot to start things off. Some broomstick choking has Barbarian down in the corner but a low blow stops Force’s force. Yeah I know that was bad but this show is dumbing me down and we’re not even half an hour into it. A headbutt low gets Barbarian yelled at for no reason but a trashcan to the head is fine. The announcers talk about a popcorn machine as Barbarian stomps him down in the corner. I could go for a hot snack to keep me awake too.

We head to the floor with Barbarian being rammed into the table and hit with the trashcan again. Barbarian fights from his back with trashcan lid shots but has to avoid a shot with the steps. Back in and Brutus is hit with a 2×4 and punched in the head a lot. Some choking with a chain does no good for Barbarian as Brutus comes back with an atomic drop and a low headbutt. A Stunner, a DDT and a piledriver get two each for Brutus but a single kick to the chest/ribs is good for the pin for Barbarian.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of the problem with gimmick matches: there’s no reason for this to be a hardcore match so it’s just two people hitting each other with trashcans for ten minutes. That doesn’t make for an interesting match but rather a boring waste of time until we get to a very stupid finish that made Barbarian of all people look tough instead of the hero.

More from the dancers.

Brandi Wine vs. Sweet Destiny

I’ve never heard of either chick and from what I can find they have about five career matches between the two of them. Wine has Fred Ottman (Tugboat) with him here under the name of Sugar Daddy for no apparent reason. Wouldn’t Sugar Daddy make more sense for the chick named Sweet? Instead Destiny has some boxer named Aussie Joe Martin as her second. Neither chick looks that good but Destiny is the face. She’s also the hips and stomach but I guess the dancers are all the skinny non-wrestlers the company could afford. Think a slightly chunkier Nidia.

Feeling out process to start which turns into a bad dance off. They seem to be avoiding contact due to a lack of talent. Destiny takes her down with a decent throw but is sent into the buckle very slowly. A catapult sends Destiny into the corner again as these girls are making the Bellas look like Trish and Lita. Brandi poses a lot and drags her down by the hair a few times. Bad choking ensues as this match just keeps going. A clothesline puts Destiny on the floor and Brandi rams her into the table a few times.

Wine poses a lot to further drag out the match time. How can a show have five matches and need to fill in this much on a card? A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each until Sugar Daddy trips up Destiny. Sugar Daddy and Aussie Joe (who is old and in a referee shirt for some reason) get in a fight with Joe dropping him with one right hand. Destiny gets two off a good German suplex but gets slammed off the top. Brandi goes up as well and gets superplexed down for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this was the match of the night so far. It wasn’t good in the slightest but they were trying and I’ve seen FAR worse female matches before. On the other hand, these girls looked lost out there at times, which makes you wonder why they got nearly fifteen minutes to work with. Nothing to see here at all, especially when you had Trish Stratus at the peak of her hotness in the WWF at this point.

Hey look: more dancing!

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

Yes seriously. Tatanka is defending and is the face, but wouldn’t you think he would be a heel for being so proud of being from another country? The Gang thanks the fans for their support but wants the women to wash their underwear before they throw them to him. Gang looks so old it’s unreal. He pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Tatanka comes back with kicks and chops as this is somehow less interesting than the girls.

Gang is sent to the floor and complains about how bad he smells. He takes a walk up the aisle and after nearly a minute the fans fill the ring with trash. Back in and they trade wristlocks with Gang pounding down into the shoulder. Tatanka comes back with shots to Gang’s shoulder as well and a chop to the head for two. A nearly botched cross body gets two more for Tatanka but Gang hits one of his own for two. Tatanka works the leg for a bit as this is already going longer than it should.

Gang kicks him to the floor but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. The big man slowly drops knees as I go read Gone with the Wind to fill in the time. Off to a nerve hold until Gang drives some shoulders into Tatanka’s ribs. Gang misses a running charge in the corner but Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner. A big fat legdrop makes me wish I was watching a Yokozuna match but Tatanka avoids a second one. I’m assuming he does as the camera was on fans in NWO shirts.

Tatanka makes his comeback and a chop to the head gets two. He rams Gang’s head into the buckle but the referee is crushed off a whip. Gang is slammed off the top and chopped in the head but there’s no referee. The fat man loads up some brass knuckles and knocks out the Indian for the pin and the title after nearly TWENTY MINUTES.

Rating: F+. I’ll give Gang credit here: he was trying. He was playing to the crowd and actually moving a bit out there which is more than you can say for most of the wrestlers tonight. The match was WAY too long though and on a show already this bad there’s no reason for it to go this long. Did they only have twelve people for the show or something?

Remember those dancing girls who have done the same dance three times already? Well here’s a fourth edition.

We recap Rodman vs. Hennig with the same videos from earlier.

I-Generation World Title: Dennis Rodman vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig is defending and this is an Australian Outback match, which I think means street fight. Rodman jumps him to start and hits Hennig in the head with the belt. Curt is busted open so Rodman pounds away at the cut. We head to the floor with Hennig being rammed into the table. Curt finds a broomstick and pounds Rodman in the ribs before throwing him over the announce table. Rodman is rammed through the table and Hennig is ticked off.

Hennig pounds away on the floor before heading back inside for more stomping. This is already boring as Rodman can’t do anything but brawling so there isn’t much to see. Rodman hits him low and knocks Curt to the floor, only to have the champion come back with chops. Back in for more chopping but Rodman headbutts the referee for no apparent reason. They slug it out a bit more and Rodman throws the referee down for a DQ, making me wonder what an Australian Outback match is.

Rating: D-. Hennig looked good but there’s a reason Rodman is a basketball player: he doesn’t have much skill as a wrestler. This was yet another garbage brawl with nothing to see from Rodman. Curt could have had a good match with an actual wrestler, but that might be interesting so we can’t have that.

Rodman and Hennig keep brawling after the match but Brute Force (in a freaking zebra stripe suit) breaks it up.

Hennig is checked in the back and says it’s not over with Rodman.

A four minute highlight package and credits end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Well that was horrible but I can’t say it’s in Heroes of Wrestling territory. For one thing that show was nearly an hour longer and had some of the most embarrassing “wrestling” you’ll ever see. This was terrible stuff too but it wasn’t dragging the business down to never before seen lows. At the end of the day, this was only an hour and forty minutes with nearly twenty of that being spent on dancing or video packages. It’s terrible but it’s not the worst show of all time by a decent stretch.

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Rebellion 2001
Date: November 3, 2001
Location: M.E.N. Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,612
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

I continue my war on Europe here with the next to last European PPV, Rebellion 2001. This is at the very tail end of the Alliance era so the main event is Austin vs. Rock for the title. Well you can’t say they’re giving us a weak main event. This card actually looks great on paper, but I’ve been fooled by stuff like that before. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Austin vs. Rock. Could it be about anything else? A lot of the audio clips are from the Mania buildup also which is fine. Ross doesn’t exactly seem huge on being here tonight. There’s a WCW Title match tonight with Angle, who just joined the Alliance, challenging Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

This is in a cage. Well you can’t say they’re starting slowly here. Christian is European Champion here and Edge is IC Champion. Christian won his title the Tuesday before this in America. In other words, the Canadian won the European Title in America but isn’t defending the European Title in Europe against a Canadian but will when he gets back to America. Well it was the WORLD Wrestling Federation.

They’re still brothers at this point. Christian tries to run early on which gets him nowhere. Why couldn’t this be on that Inside the Steel Cage thing I watched recently? Edge misses a spear and his shoulder hits the post. It’s pin, submission or escape here. Back breaker gets two for Christian. It’s weird seeing him in the shirt and with long hair still.

Ross says Edge has spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt. The match has been going on less than five minutes and he’s already busting out the metaphors. Christian almost gets out but Edge makes the DIVING, yes DIVING I say, save. Almost all Christian here. And of course as I say that Edge gets a release Gordbuster from the middle rope and a cross body for two.

And we hit the chinlock for awhile now. Ross: we would never be argumentative. Paul: I disagree with that. Funny stuff. Another good one: Ross: you never praised Christian this much before he joined the Alliance. Paul: we weren’t paying him then. These two are awesome together. Edge gets a spear out of NOWHERE to put Christian down but he can’t capitalize.

Edgecution gets two. I still like that better as a finisher than the Spear. Edge-O-Matic gets less than three as well. They slug it out and Christian eats cage. Christian gets one leg over the top and that’s about it. In a very fun ending, Christian gets most of the way out as in he needs to drop to get out.

Edge grabs his boots and crotches him against the cage. He takes the tape off his wrists and ties Christian’s boots together and climbs out to win it. That was a nice little ending and it worked much better than most of the other generic endings you usually get. Also nice to see an escape rather than a stupid pin or something.

Rating: C. Pretty basic stuff here but the crowd was into it and things went pretty well here, especially considering it’s not like this is anything special outside of a big house show. The ending really helped it out a lot. A good ending like that can work wonders for something like this and it certainly did here.

We recap Angle joining the Alliance which wound up being a ploy by Vince to make the WWF Team win at Survivor Series.

Chavo is interviewing the Divas tonight. Bill DeMott comes up and says that HE is doing that tonight. These two were fired from the Alliance and were doing some weird fired angle that went nowhere. They’ll do the interviews tonight apparently. Trish has no shirt on and they get all nervous. She suggests they talk to Lita. More on this later I guess. Great.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Hurricane

Heyman’s intro for Hurricane is great stuff. Basic stuff to start so far with nothing really going on early on. Hurricane (Gregory/Shane Helms) is in the Alliance here. This is just going nowhere at all. The bulldog to set up the Worm is blocked. Crowd is more or less dead here. Helms gets a Blockbuster for two.

We get what’s called a Ne-Han in No Mercy from the Hurricane. You cross the other guy’s arms in an X shape and pull back on them like a camel clutch. And then Hurricane lets it go to put on his cape. And so much for that as Scotty gets a DDT and both guys are down. and both guys are down. Kick by Scotty gets two.

Hurricane does a Worm of his own which doesn’t work. Chokeslam gets two. A rollup with ropes gets two. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked into the bulldog and there’s the Worm. I hate that move. Since it’s a chop to the neck after the other guy has forever to get better, it gets the in.

Rating: D. This match sucked. It was just boring on all accounts and the fans could tell. This should have been a dark match so of course they let it go on the actual show. Scotty was over for absolutely no apparent reason. This went nowhere at all and was boring beyond belief. Also, the freaking Worm got the pin. Get on to something else.

Trish tries to get the fired dudes the interview with Lita. She’s in her underwear and looks VERY good in her yellow thong. She throws them out.

DDP is the way too happy guy at this point. He thinks England is way too depressed. Sweet goodness Vince never got this guy at all.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Big Show

Make this quick. The only good thing about their match at Starrcade was the ending. It has to be better here right? Also get Page his Nirvana knockoff song. Show is in the one piece swimsuit here. Show goes straight at him and Page is in trouble. Heyman wants to know why Show doesn’t pick on someone his own size. That would be because there is no one his own size according to JR.

Ross talks about Show’s weight in stones. Heyman says at least as much as Richards and Jagger combined. The commentary has been awesome tonight. DDP goes for the leg to take him down for a change. He gets kind of a jumping fist off the top which is supposed to be a clothesline. Figure four is blocked by Show. Chokeslam is blocked into the Diamond Cutter for no cover because Page is down but eventually gets two. Chokeslam ends it soon thereafter.

Rating: N/A. Boring match that was more or less a squash. When the Diamond Cutter gets two, you know DDP is dead. This went nowhere at all for the most part and at least it was short.

Post match Page says that wasn’t a bad thing but rather a good thing because now he gets to leave England.

The fired dudes go in and Molly has no mask but is in her superhero outfit. She’s mad that they saw her without her cape. These segments suck and hard.

Shane is talking to Austin, Angle and Debra. They shouldn’t be worried about Survivor Series bur rather tonight. The table they’re at is round and you know the lines Angle is going to use. Shane is Merlin. When Angle got way into stuff he was hilarious.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

The Dudleyz have the belts here. And remember, D-Von is the weak one. This is under elimination rules. No Stacy here with the Dudleys which is a shame as she looked awesome in those camo shorts. The Hardys were on the verge of having some problems. Bubba vs. Matt starts us off. Ok so there is more or less ZERO reason for the APA to tag in to start right?

Bubba looks odd for some reason. I think it’s the lack of wrist tape. Bradshaw in now vs. Matt. The fans boo which they claim is due to Matt getting beaten down but I’m not so sure on that one. Are you sure it’s not due to the show kind of sucking? The APA beats up Jeff as the fans want tables. It should be noted that one of the six guys here ever wrestled in WCW and he’s also the one that has most recently appeared on WWE Television.

They’re just killing time here to get one of the teams, likely the APA, out. Fallaway Slam to D-Von from the middle rope gets no cover. The Hardys go to the floor for a bit leaving Farooq in trouble. They run in just in time to hit a Twist of Fate on Farrooq to end him and get us down to the predictable tag match.

D-Von gets out some tables to a huge face pop. Jeff gets a nice baseball slide to take him out as the table is driven into his face. It turns into the basic match between these two which while ok isn’t anything special. They talk about Lennox Lewis fighting D-Von or something like that. Heyman really likes talking about the Dudleys and their resume.

Now we’ll talk about Angle vs. Jericho as there is nothing that hasn’t been said about these teams already I suppose. Jeff crotches Bubba on the top and gets a rana for two. D-Von and Matt both come in with Matt naturally taking control. Poetry in Motion to Bubba and then to D-Von. The Swanton misses D-Von though and Matt walks into a bad 3D to retain.

Rating: D+. And so what? I mean seriously, who cares at this point? These teams feuded for so long and so many times that it got boring beyond belief to watch them fight again and again. I think the Dudleys beat them in a cage match at Survivor Series which was the final match between them. APA had no business being there so they were there anyway. Nothing special here at all.

Don’t try this at home. Try it away from home though.

Heyman is in Dudley glasses.

We see some stuff of Jericho accidentally hitting Rock which cost them a tag match. It’s not like this match is happening anytime soon or that they’re fighting tonight. We’re just trying to waste some time.

Vince is talking to Jericho and Rock is apparently on the other side of him. He wants them to bury the hatchet so they can beat the Alliance. They need to get along tonight. Why do they need to get along tonight? Who cares I guess, but Vince orders it so be it. They shake hands and Jericho says try not to lose another big one. Rock says he has something Jericho can take to the ring with him and drills him before a bunch of suits break it up.

Tajiri vs. William Regal

Before we get started Regal says he’s their role model. He makes fun of David Beckham and Man U. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion at this point. DANG Tajiri could throw some kicks. Regal gets into a grappling match where of course he’s going to dominate. This isn’t much more than a midcard match but at least they had been feuding recently so this makes sense. Regal gets a modified Tazmission more or less on Tajiri who comes back anyway.

Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Tajiri gets crotched on the top rope as Regal keeps control. He chops the living heck  out of Regal as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. Missile dropkick gets two. Handspring elbow hits to pop the crowd a bit. Tarantula hooks Regal and Tajiri goes up for the moonsault and crashes. Regal Stretch ends it immediately afterwards.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here with Tajiri having maybe a minute of offense total. This was more filler which they’ve been spacing apart pretty badly so far tonight. This went nowhere as did the feud due to the whole Alliance thing dying off soon after this. They were better as a comedy tag team.

Tajiri spits mist in his face post match.

Angle runs down British fans and makes fun of the name Y2J. This involves singing the Mickey Mouse Club song.

WCW World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle

Well this should be awesome. That big old WCW belt looks great on Jericho. Angle is the US Champion apparently. It’s still the old belt design which I actually like less than the current one which isn’t typical for me. They hit the mat almost immediately with Jericho throwing punches and forearms, making this almost like an MMA fight, at least in spirit.

Spinwheel kick takes down Angle for no cover. Three Amigos hit before they have a name. Walls can’t hook on so Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send Angle to the floor. Jericho follows and chops the heck out of Angle. Back in the ring and Angle almost gets the ankle lock. Angle’s shoulder eats post. Well not really as there’s no opening there or anything but you get the concept.

Angle gets the momentum and starts busting out the suplexes. He goes for the Walls as we begin the countdown to Jericho hooking the ankle lock on him. Angle can’t get it anyway so it’s not like it really matters. We hit the chinlock as the fans are WAY behind Jericho here. How un-American they are indeed. Jericho gets a rolling cradle for two.

And then back to the chinlock as they’re kind of wasting time here. Enziguri counters the ankle lock and everyone other than the referee is down. Jericho cranks it up a bit and gets a rana for two. Yep I was right. Jericho rolls through a victory roll and grabs the ankle lock. A rope is grabbed shortly thereafter anyway so it’s not like it meant anything. Rolling Germans have Jericho in trouble.

There’s the real ankle lock but Jericho counters into the Walls. Lionsault eats knees though and it’s Angle Slam time. So much for that though as Angle gets rolled up for the pin and Jericho retains. How often do you see a clean finish between these two? I can’t think of one with about as limited thinking as possible.

Rating: B-. Nothing that special here but it was ok for the most part. These two always work well together for the most part and they had a decent match here. I still don’t like the way it sounds when they say this was for the WCW Title as that always sounded really odd. Decent match but they’ve had better.

Angle beats up Jericho after the match.

Cole asks how Rock can focus on Jericho. Rock calls him a great journalists. Thank goodness he doesn’t remember that line. And so much for that as Rock implies that Cole is gay. To be fair he says it doesn’t matter. Solid Rock promo here as always and dare I say, vintage?

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold in an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Post match Trish hits Stacy with a horrible bulldog.

We recap Rock vs. Austin which is more or less billed as a Mania rematch which isn’t true but whatever. It’s more Alliance vs. WWF stuff in short. One thing I never got: Austin says he’s leaving the WWF to find better competition. If he’s fighting WWF guys isn’t he fighting the same competition he’s always been fighting? They clip a good portion of this from the Mania package.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Not a bad main event I wouldn’t think. Austin jumps Rock as he’s posing on the ropes. You don’t interrupt the Rock’s posing! Rock chops away and hits a swinging neckbreaker before the vest comes off the champion. Rock Bottom doesn’t hit as Austin goes over the top. On the floor now and water is spit into Austin’s face.

They fight up the ramp and you can’t see a freaking thing. Ah there’s a spotlight. Much better. Rock reverses a suplex on the stage and Austin bounces off the steel. Austin wants a Piledriver but he winds up bouncing off the stage again. Back towards the ring now and it’s still mostly Rock. That is until he takes a slingshot and bounces head first off the post.

Austin flips off the crowd and almost gets caught in a rollup. It only gets two though and right back onto offense for Austin. They head to the floor even more and onto the announce table. Rock blocks another Piledriver and gets off. WHAT IS THE FREAKING DEAL WITH THE AIRHORNS? Do you British people think those are cool or something? Knock it off!

They’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe ten. Austin chokes him with the cables and then they chop it out. He drops Rock on the table again and might have hurt his knee. Back in the ring for a change and Austin lands the Thesz Press. The screw you elbow gets two as there’s a good deal of time left in this. Austin wastes time by yelling at the crowd and Rock comes back with some of Austin’s stuff, including the elbow for two.

We get a sleeper by the bald one. Doesn’t it amaze you that the rear naked choke takes like a few seconds to get a submission but a sleeper can last like a minute and the guy is fine? Naturally Rock’s arm goes up at the third drop like the hero that he is. Naturally Rock gets a sleeper on Austin because that’s just how things work. Also just how things work, his lasts like four seconds.

Austin gets a Boston Crab for no apparent reason. It’s more like a Liontamer than anything else which makes it more awesome. The look on Austin’s face is downright creepy looking. Rock gets about his 9th wind and takes over again with a belly to belly for two. And there goes the referee of course. Stunner is blocked and Austin walks into a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter which doesn’t make Austin tap but there’s no referee.

Austin puts Rock in the Sharpshooter on Rock and it’s somehow better than Rock’s. Ok scratch that it sucks. And now Rock has it on Austin until Angle runs down and pops Rock with the chair. Cue Jericho who I’ll bet is going to hit Rock with the chair. Jericho gets Angle out and Rock sees him with the chair, thinking it was him that popped him with it. And there they go.

Rock Bottom hits Austin and there’s still no referee. Angle is back in now and takes care of Rock again. Dang that referee can stay down through a lot. That didn’t last long as another spinebuster takes Austin down again. Angle breaks up the elbow with a belt shot though and a Stunner keeps the title on Austin.

Rating: B. These two have great matches time after time and this wasn’t their best but still was solid. This felt like a major match like it was supposed to be and that’s really all you can ask for at a show like this. Pretty good match and long with over twenty minutes. This was solid enough stuff but the ton of run-ins and the long ref bump kind of hurt it. Solid main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This was better than most of these shows but still nothing great. There is some solid stuff here but the problem is that it’s all been done before and been done far better than it was here. I’m not a fan of these shows at all as they never are much of anything but this was better than the majority of them. Nothing really worth seeing specifically but I’ve seen far worse shows. This was ok.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 22
Date: July 29, 1989
Location: Worchester Centrum, Worchester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This show is kind of a mess on paper. It has Hogan vs. Honky and the Brain Busters vs. Demolition so the card isn’t that bad, but at the same time there’s nothing here that makes me want to watch the show. It doesn’t look bad but this was a weird time for the company as there was no real challenger to Hogan so we were kind of just waiting around on something to happen, which would take about 6 more months. Let’s get to it.

Savage invites us to a barbecue.

Beefcake says he’ll cut Savage’s hair.

Heenan says the Busters will win the titles.

Demolition says the Busters won’t win the titles.

Honky says he’ll win.

Hogan says he’ll win. Epic promos here indeed.

Theme song is played at this point.

Somehow Honky is #1 contender. How in the world did that happen? We see his greatest hits which is of course a collection of guitar shots before they became clichéd.

Honky says he’s great and that he’ll win while using about 89 Elvis lyrics.

Hogan talks about keeping his priorities straight and how he’s going to beat Honky here.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Honky Tonk Man

Even Jesse admits that Hogan is the favorite. You know this is going to be one sided when even he admits to something like that. Honky goes for the guitar shot immediately and of course it doesn’t work. Jimmy goes for Hogan of course and it doesn’t work. That was a big problem I had with WCW Hogan. He and Hart were enemies for years and now they’re best friends?

That just doesn’t work in the slightest. I could watch Honky take atomic drops all day. Jimmy pops Hogan with a guitar to take over for the first time. I’d love to be the guy that made the guitars for wrestling companies. You would be a freaking millionaire.

A guitar and table shop would clean up next door to Titan Towers. Honky hooks a camel clutch that gets him nowhere and Honky is actually in control. The Shake Rattle and Roll connects and Honky dances. Hogan Hulks Up after two and you know the ending. Hogan even throws in a guitar shot and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Hogan’s posing actually goes through a commercial. Wow indeed.

Rating: D. This is your standard Hogan match from this era as Hogan completely dominated. Honky was about a year removed from meaning anything at all here though so it’s not like this really meant much. To be fair though, this was just to get him on TV which worked fine. Match was horrible though.

Ronnie Garvin comes down to be referee for the next match so we see Garvin losing a retirement match to Valentine. This was a long angle that went nowhere and sucked completely. Ah never mind that was just Garvin in general. We get a long video of Garvin being a referee and beating people up. If Garvin does it again he gets suspended.

Greg Valentine vs. Jimmy Snuka

I smell and angle match. Actually I see it as there’s no real smelling aspect to this match but you get the point. It’s a bad sign when I have to explain my own jokes isn’t it? Oh never mind they started. Snuka dominated early but Valentine hits him in the head with his shin guard somehow to take over.

tells me this isn’t going to be very long. Valentine won’t let Snuka back in so Garvin shoves Valentine like an idiot. Wait, he is an idiot so there’s no like to it. He his Valentine and Snuka hits a cross body off the top for the pin. At least it was short so I didn’t have to put up with much of him. Any is too much though so take that for what it’s worth.

Rating: F-. Anything involving Ronnie Garvin is a failure and that’s all there is to it.

We recap Savage vs. Beefcake which started when Savage jumped him on the Brother Love Show.

Savage says he was defending his woman and that he’s doing this to get Hogan’s attention. The main event of Summerslam was Savage and Zeus vs. Hogan and Beefcake so there’s your noticing. Savage says he has a surprise which I’d bet on being tall, bald, black and horrible in the ring.

Brutus says something weird about hair which makes me want to get to the match.

Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake

Was there ever any more awesome music for such a bad wrestler as Brutus’? Brutus has the big hedge clippers of course, which I’ve always wondered what kind of barber would use. OH! Hey I got a joke. Sweet and it only took me 21 years. Dang I feel old now. The bell rings while Savage is in the air after Brutus throws him over the top.

Beefcake hits a standing double axehandle to the head which looked a lot better than it likely was I’m assuming. Ah there we go: Savage is….losing before I can finish typing that. Beefcake was actually becoming decent by this point which is weird to type. There’s the high knee which was one of his finishers at the time but it gets two only.

There’s another one so you can tell he’s running out of offense already. Sherri blasts him in the head with her shoe as he’s in trouble already but she likes hurting people I guess. If that’s the case why not just look at him? This is about as standard of an 80s match as you can ask for.

She takes her stocking off to choke Brutus as Jesse says Liz wouldn’t disrobe at ringside to help, which is odd since Jesse was the referee for that match. Sherri interferes for about the 9th time in 5 minutes and finally gets knocked out by a miscue from Savage. I love the bump Savage takes when he goes over the top to the floor. It’s downright elegant.

Savage sends Sherri to the back to get Zeus. Even Jesse knows what’s going on so you know it’s not that hard to figure out. Beefcake gets the sleeper but Zeus comes in for the DQ. Hogan pounds on Zeus and it doesn’t work. Hogan can’t hurt him and the heels are winning. This might be the end of civilization. Beefcake rakes his eyes and we have a weak spot. Hogan cracks Zeus with a chair and it does nothing. The heels leave but don’t run if that makes sense.

Rating: D+. Not much here as this was all about the angle rather than the match. This was built as more or less the main event of the show if that tells you anything. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s certainly just them going through the motions to set up the angle where Hogan can’t hurt him at all. This is really basic booking but it works quite well.

Savage, Sherri and Zeus gloat.

Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition

So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.

It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.

After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.

Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.

Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.

The Heenan Family celebrates and Arn cuts a (of course) great promo saying how they were told they couldn’t do it.

Brutus and Hogan say Zeus is awesome but they’ll be fine. Oh and they want to protect Liz.

And that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. This was just not working for me at all. It’s mainly about Summerslam 89’s main event, but I didn’t like that match so there we are. This didn’t do it for me as it was just a mess all night. There was no direction for the company at the time and they were actually in real financial trouble to the point where they were on the verge of going under. Then Vince had this idea of Hogan vs. Warrior. They weren’t in trouble for long after that. Anyway, the show sucked, avoid it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews for just $5 from Amazon at:

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It’s that time again as I’ve put together a new book with reviews of every episode of Monday Night Raw from 2001 for just $5. The book covers everything from the road to Wrestlemania XVII through the Invasion through the Undisputed Title to close out the year. It runs over 270 pages and contains 52 episodes of Raw.
 

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.

We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.

On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

Everyone brawls up the aisle.

We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.

WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.

Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.

Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.

Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.

The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.

Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.

The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.

Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.

Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.

Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.

Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.

A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.

Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.

The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.

We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.

Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.

Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.

Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49^th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.

They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.

There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.

Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.

Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.

Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.

Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.

Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

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