We open with a recap of the Steiners arguing on Monday.

Hugh Morrus vs. La Parka

Morrus slugs him down but gets caught by a dropkick followed by the LA PARKA DANCE! The fans are into it but Morrus comes back with a hard clothesline to take over. Hugh charges into a pair of boots in the corner but La Parka runs into a powerslam for two. Morrus chops him down in the corner and hits a quick splash but La Parka comes back with a spin kick Not that it matters as Morrus elbows him down and hits No Laughing Matter to complete the squash.

Post match La Parka hits Morrus with the chair and does the dance on top of it. So why squash him?

Jim Powers vs. Bill Goldberg

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

The knee is fine enough to try a springboard legdrop but Juvy only hits canvas. Kidman goes to the middle rope but gets caught by a Frankensteiner for two. A nothern light suplex gets the same for Guerrera and the Juvy Driver looks to set up the 450. Juvy has to dropkick Lodi down instead though and Kidman hits a quick bulldog and the Shooting Star for the pin.

DDP is ready for Benoit and knows the fans are too.

Silver King/Villano IV/Villano V vs. Super Calo/Lizmark Jr./Chavo Guerrero Jr.

V comes back in with a DDT on Chavo but Guerrero rolls outside, allowing Calo to walk into a superkick from King. Everything breaks down and Lizmark hits a great dive to take out IV. Chavo hits the tornado DDT on Silver but Psychosis sneaks in and hits the guillotine legdrop on Chavo to give King the pin.

Video on Savage having problems with the NWO over the last few weeks.

Buff Bagwell/Konnan vs. Steiner Brothers

Raven vs. Marty Jannetty

Lee Marshall is back on commentary as Heenan explains that he was sucking up to Dusty to protect Tony and Lee. Raven comes through the entrance and sits down on the set instead of walking to the ring. Now he gets up and looks at his video as he walks towards the ring. Jannetty is tired of waiting and jumps Raven in the aisle with forearms to the back and a superkick. Lodi gets a superkick as well, pops back up so he can raise the sign and gets superkicked again.

They get in the ring as Tony rants about Dusty. Marty hits a dropkick for three straight two counts but Raven comes back with a clothesline to take over. Jannetty is sent back to the floor and Raven drops an elbow off the apron to keep Marty down. Raven throws Marty and a chair into the ring for the bulldog onto said chair.

Rating: C. Marty has been solid looking in his few matches in WCW which is all you can expect from him at this point. Raven continues to be bizarre in the ring and Heenan freaking out over the odd things that he does is always good for a laugh. This match was a way to set up Benoit vs. Raven II on Saturday Night which is a setup for a later match in its own right.

Video on Giant being injured at Souled Out.

Disco Inferno vs. Perry Saturn

Raven rants about Benoit, Woman and TBS being too corporate.

Scott Hall vs. Jim Neidhart

Hall and Spicolli come out out for the Survey with WCW winning by a mile. He complains about not having the title shot at the PPV because of Piper and says that the Steiners can have a title shot on Nitro. As for Spicolli, tonight he gets to face Neidhart instead.

Jim Neidhart vs. Louie Spicolli

Neidhart destroys Louie as you would expect and knocks him out to the floor. Louie is catapulted back into the ring and Hall gets blasted in the face as well. Anvil puts the nerve hold on Spicolli but Hall comes in for the DQ. This barely lasted a minute.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Raven hits the Even Flow on Benoit but Page Diamond Cuts every other member of the Flock. Raven bails as Benoit and Page stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Thunder continues its roll with a solid string of matches tonight. The lack of big stars is very refreshing as the show can breathe for a minute and not subject us to a bunch of two minute nothing matches to fill time. Good show this week as Super Brawl is taking shape and should be a well built show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

It’s another elimination week to get us down to the final two which will hopefully end soon after that. The final three are Darren Young, Conor O’Brian and Titus O’Neil. It seems like the competition is Titus’ to lose here but you never know with this show. That being said, I’d probably bet on O’Brian to win it because we all want to see him for another four months down the road right? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Darren Young who now has no pro as Chavo has left. Young says that Chavo quit because he couldn’t handle the fact that his rookie was better. Young points out how he’s faced Cena and main evented Summerslam this year which is something Chavo has never done. True actually.

O’Brian comes out to say that after tonight, Young is done. He promises utter destruction.

Darren Young vs. Conor O’Brian

They fight over a tieup to start and head to the floor. Hot crowd tonight too. Back inside and Conor takes over with a clothesline. A shoulder by O’Brian gets two. Young hits a neckbreaker on the apron and both guys are down as we take a break. Back with O’Brian escaping a cravate but getting thrown down for two. Off to a neck crank by Young which doesn’t last long.

Kozlov isn’t here tonight either apparently as he’s in Australia with the Raw roster. Chinlock doesn’t work long and O’Brian hits a slingshot to send Young into the corner. Young hits the ropes and gets his head kicked off by a big boot. That looked good. Regal brings up the point that these guys know each other way too well. Young hits Three Amigos to the biggest heat he’s gotten since he had a big yellow N on his chest. A Frog Splash ends this a few seconds later at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and that big kick was the biggest part of the whole thing. The lack of pros actually helped a lot here as it was just a competition rather than about the pros, which is the point of the show. O’Brian is still dull but if he can get even a single move going for him it’s an improvement.

Tatsu is at his shrine with his action figure again and Kidd comes up and breaks it. They have a match later but Yoshi jumps him and attacks him until he’s pulled off.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

TYSON’S HAIR IS GONE! He cut that little thing off his head and it’s due to Bret pulling on it apparently. Yoshi is all ticked off and hammers away to start, sending Kidd to the floor. HARD chops in the corner and Kidd is in trouble. Kidd comes back, hitting what looked like a forearm off the middle rope. On the floor he hits a dropkick to send Yoshi into the steps as we take a break.

Back and we’re in a chinlock by Kidd. He works the arm and gets two off a hammerlock suplex. Big kick into the arm has Yoshi in agony. Fujiwara Armbar goes on which is becoming a very popular move anymore. Yoshi starts his comeback with his variety of kicks. Big kick gets a close two as the fans are into this again. They go up and Kidd is shoved off. He manages a dropkick to crotch Yoshi though and a top rope rana gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Rollup gets two for Yoshi. Another big kick finally ends Kidd at 9:20. Abrupt ending but rather good.

Rating: B. For NXT, this was AWESOME. They were allowed to go out there and beat the heck out of each other. Those kicks and 2 counts were great and I really didn’t know who was going to win there at the end. Sick high kick to put Kidd down at the end also made this a very good match and one of the best NXT matches I’ve seen in a long time.

JTG is getting ready and here’s Horny in a trashcan which he’s able to walk in somehow. O’Neil comes up to stop an attack because he’s only trying to steal the gold jewelry because he’s a leprechaun. They get in an argument over what it’s made of. I give up.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Maryse is on commentary here for no reason other than “she feels like it”. O’Neil throws him around as Regal and Maryse argue a bit. Horny has a note for Maryse and it’s in English apparently. It’s an old school style of do you love me? Circle one. We hear about the required height to date Maryse as JTG takes over a bit. Maryse is taking pictures as O’Neil fights back. JTG is sent to the floor and almost runs into Horny. He gets on the apron and poses at JTG. Back in the ring the Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:20.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here as Titus continues to be so far and away better than everyone else in this season it’s unreal. Nothing of note here as JTG is still a jobber, no matter which way he’s leaning on the face/heel spectrum. Maryse was far more of the focus here than the match and I can’t say I blame them here.

Maryse rips up the letter post match.

Raw Rebound eats up some time. They only talk about the main event and the Punk promo though. That’s still awesome stuff, but it makes me think Cena wins clean at the PPV. Just parts of it here though instead of whole thing due to time. Most of the controversial stuff here is gone.

Grisham says that Punk has been suspended indefinitely and Vince might be on Raw.

Time for the elimination and thankfully O’Brian is gone. He asks Hunter (HHH I presume) for a chance to play the game.

But wait we’re not done yet because someone else is going to the finals. Derrick Bateman is back and Bryan is his pro again. What in the world? Why are they adding someone else NOW? Do they really want to extend this even further? I’m going to be at the show on August 2. There better be a new season by then.

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was the best episode of NXT in months. There were good matches and the crowd was red hot all night. O’Brian finally being gone is the right choice because you could make a case for Young or O’Neil winning the whole thing. Bateman being added is uh….puzzling. At least he was funny during his time here so it’s not too bad. Good show this week that flew by in a good way.

Results

Darren Young b. Conor O’Brian – Frog Splash

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – High Kick

Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

Conor O’Brian was eliminated in 3^rd place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $4 at:

After Monday we have a lot more of the card set for Money in the Bank. Tonight we’ll find out who the Smackdown MITB guys are as well as having a Fiesta Del Rio to celebrate Alberto winning the World Heavyweight Championship again. WWE has picked things up lately so hopefully the positive trend continues. Let’s get to it.

We open with the theme song for the first time in months.

There’s a pinata above the ring for the fiesta later.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This is a Dublin street fight which hopefully ends this stupid feud once and for all. Sandow says that South Carolina was the first state to secede from the union and now he wants out of here too. Ya’ll isn’t a word. It’s pronounced you all, as in you all are a bunch of ignoramuses. Sandow pounds away to start and hits Sheamus with a green kendo stick before we head to the floor. Sheamus whips him into the barricade and puts him over the bar at ringside (Irish people like to drink you see) for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sandow blocks a suplex on the floor and sends Sheamus into the post to take over. Sheamus comes back by throwing Sandow into another bar and pelting a keg at him. Now Sandow has a bag of Irish potatoes dropped onto him as we’re in the “comedy” portion of the match. Damien sends him into the steps to put Sheamus down again as we take a break.

Back with Sandow running Sheamus over for two back in the ring. Sandow throws in some chairs with one being wedged between the ropes. Sheamus comes back with a green bar stool to the face and the Irish Curse for two. A running knee life puts Sandow on the floor and there’s the rolling senton for good measure. Sheamus gets two off the top rope shoulder block but Damien comes back with straight right hands.

The Terminus gets two and Sandow pounds away with the kendo stick. Sheamus easily kicks out and throws a chair at Sandow’s face to take over again. Now it’s Sandow being beaten with the stick for two but he still fights out of White Noise. Sheamus hits another kendo stick shot to send Sandow into the open chair, followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:28 shown of 12:58.

Rating: C. To recap this feud: everyone said Sheamus would dominate Sandow, Sheamus did dominate Sandow, and the final match (hopefully) was a match in which Sheamus should have destroyed Sandow and he did just that. How this does anything to elevate Sandow or help Sheamus is beyond me but thank goodness it’s over.

Sheamus takes the kendo stick with him and throws the potatoes to the fans.

We look back at the main event from Raw with Bryan making Orton tap out.

Bryan is whistling in the back but Kane gets in his face and tells him not to brag. Kane congratulates Bryan on his win but calls it an upset which sets Bryan off. The big man shuts Bryan up before he can get anywhere with it but Daniel just chalks it up to nerves and hugs him. It’s Kane vs. Orton with Bryan on commentary later.

We recap Heyman and Punk’s segment from Raw.

Time for MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman. Miz asks about Punk and Lesnar being a tag team but Heyman doesn’t want to talk about his personal life. Miz wants to know about Heyman bullying Renee young last week but Heyman says he’s just an advocate. Heyman turns the tables saying Miz is a former WWE and Intercontinental Champion by bringing out Curtis Axel. Miz says that Heyman fooled him just like Heyman fooled Punk on Raw. Heyman says he invited Axel and this interview is over unless Miz isn’t intimidated by Curtis.

Miz says that Heyman is the walking version of Star Wars: he talks like Yoda, smells like Chewbacca and looks like Jabba the Hut. This makes Axel the WWE version of Luke Skywalker: Luke, you are not your father. Miz says he’s going to win the title and Axel says he takes that threat seriously. A fight is about to break out but Heyman says if Miz wants to fight there needs to be a contract and Axel needs to be paid. Heyman makes fun of Miz’s catchphrase but Miz cuts him off, only to have Axel lay Miz out with a neckbreaker into a cutter.

AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Before the match Kaitlyn comes out dressed like AJ to make fun of AJ’s issues with men. Apparently AJ even dated the timekeeper, the ringside doctor and Lillian Garcia. Unfortunately we get no more elaboration on that as the bell rings. Natalya takes AJ down but AJ escapes a slam and slams Natalya’s head into the mat. Kaitlyn skips down to the ring to distract AJ, allowing Natalya to get a rollup pin at 1:05. Kaitlyn in the AJ outfit works VERY well.

Kaitlyn spears AJ down post match.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Teddy is in the back when Vince comes in. Since Raw is having an All-Star MITB match (Vince’s official term for it), Teddy is going to look to the future. His picks are Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. Vince is impressed and they practice saying Fandango.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Bryan is on commentary. Kane grabs a headlock to start but Orton fights free with right hands. He charges into Kane’s boot in the corner to put him down as the match slows up a bit. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but Orton whips him into the corner. The announcers ask Bryan if he would cost Kane the briefcase at MITB but get no answer. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets punched out of the air to give Orton control again.

Orton stomps away and drops a knee for two but ducks his head to get caught in the running DDT. We take a break and come back with Kane putting on a nerve hold. Orton fights up as Bryan gets on the announce table to play cheerleader. Orton hits the backbreaker to escape and Bryan’s chant becomes NO. A Thesz Press puts Kane down but he kicks Orton’s head off for two. Back up again and Orton hits a dropkick for two of his own, only to get caught in a side slam. This back and forth stuff is working very well.

The top rope clothesline is broken up again, but Kane fights out of the superplex and hits the clothesline on the third try. A back elbow blocks the chokeslam attempt and Orton’s powerslam gets two. The Elevated DDT is countered but neither finisher can hit. Instead it’s the Elevated DDT to send Kane to the floor where Bryan encourages his partner. Bryan helps Kane get back in but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:13 shown of 12:13.

Rating: B. I’ve always been a fan of the chemistry between these guys and this is another good example of them working well together. The back and forth stuff with both guys hitting bigger and bigger stuff was a good story capped off by Orton finally hitting his home run move for the win. Bryan accidentally costing Kane the match fits their story very well and advances them towards Money in the Bank. Good stuff.

Ryback vs. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel fires off some kicks to start but Ryback comes back with a hard kick to Gabriel’s chest to take over. Ryback misses another big boot and catches himself on the top rope, allowing Justin to fire kicks into the leg. Gabriel charges into the corner but dives into the Shell Shock for the pin at 1:51. Much like Monday, this was basically a face match by Ryback as he fought through trouble to win.

Immediately after the match here’s Jericho to talk about how Ryback may be a killer, he’s also a whiner, a complainer, a butcher, a baker and a giant excuse maker. Ryback shouts that he’s injured so Jericho starts a Cryback chant. Jericho says he’s going to give something to make Ryback cry about and goes after the big man, only to have Ryback bail from the Walls. Ryback whines that he should be WWE Champion and leaves.

I’ll never get WWE’s theory of turning guys like Ryback. “Well this guy is over as a face, so let’s change everything that got him over and wonder why he isn’t over as a heel.” It works for people when they’ve had great success, but Ryback never actually won anything, so you’re taking the only things he has going for him away and making him less of an intimidating monster and more just pathetic.

Bray Wyatt vignette.

Shield vs. Usos/Christian

Shield beat down Christian again on Main Event but the Usos made the save. Jey and his cousin Roman quickly fall to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose stomping on Jey before it’s back to Reigns. The big guy hooks a front facelock but lets go to Superman punch Jimmy off the apron. The double tag brings in Ambrose and Christian cleans house with the jumping back elbow.

Rollins breaks up the spear but Christian backdrops him on the floor. Back in and Dean rolls through a cross body for two, only to get caught in a tornado DDT for the same. Reigns comes back in and sends Christian to the floor but gets taken out by Jey. Rollins dives on both Usos and Dean looks to do the same but he walks into a spear from Christian for the pin at 5:18 shown of 8:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good fast paced tag match but did Shield really need to lose another match in such a short span of time? The good thing though is the titles are now the main focus for the team once the big loss was already out of the way. The match was entertaining enough and it sets up the PPV as well so there isn’t much to complain about here.

It’s time for Fiesta Del Rio so here are the mariachis to play the champion to the ring. Ricardo does the full entrance and insults the crowd for some good cheap heat. There are red white and green balloons and a big bowl of chips and salsa. The pinata has Ziggler’s face on it which makes more sense than most pinatas (sidebar: I’ve never understood the mentality behind pinatas. “Hey kids, here’s one of your favorite cartoon characters. Now let’s beat it with a stick until it busts open and you can eat whatever comes out!”).

Del Rio says it’s time to celebrate him being a four time champion and we’re going to do it his way. He says he’s going to speak Spanish tonight, drawing a USA chant. Del Rio speaks Spanish and says this is a party for him and not for any of the people. When he won the title, he didn’t need to use a Money in the Bank contract like Ziggler did. The fans chant USA so Del Rio calls them ignorant and switches back to English.

We’ll start the games with the pinata. Del Rio busts it open with two swings and says he broke it open like he bashed Ziggler’s head in. He’ll do the same thing again at MITB to retain the title. Del Rio poses and wants to know where Ziggler is. This brings out Dolph for the brawl but Del Rio throws him into the salsa. Ziggler throws Ricardo through the food table and hits the Zig Zag on the champion. Dolph swings a guitar at Del Rio but Alberto runs away, leaving Ricardo to take El Cabong. Ziggler plays guitar with the mariachis as balloons fall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked the show tonight as we had some good matches and some solid angle advancement throughout the night. Ziggler looked like the hero they want him to be tonight and there’s a reason to hate Del Rio with the head injuries. WWE has flipped a switch in the last few weeks and their shows have been on fire ever since with this being their latest good effort.

Results

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Ryback b. Justin Gabriel – Shell Shock

Christian/Usos b. Shield – Spear to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Among other things, they’re all commentators who used to be world champion.  Why do we rarely hear about this?  JBL is the only one to hold a world title or even be a full time wrestler in the last ten years and we barely ever hear about his accomplishments.  How many fans do you think know Jerry Lawler was world champion in the AWA?  Most young fans probably just know him as some old guy who won’t shut up.  Mention that he’s a former world champion and that he beat a Hall of Famer in Curt Hennig to win the belt, or that he’s held over 100 titles in his career.  It would make people care more.  The same is true for Taz as he’s basically a younger and louder Lawler.

That’s rather sad.

The focus shifts back to the titles tonight as Bo Dallas and Big E. Langston both return to the NXT Arena after their title match two weeks ago. We also have Dawson’Dylan vs. Ohno/Graves for a future title shot against the Wyatt Family. This is a pretty stacked show by NXT standards so let’s get to it.

Big E. Langston vs. Aiden English

Langston slams him down twice and the Big Ending finishes English in 42 seconds.

Another Big Ending is good for the five count. Langston goes to leave but comes back in and hits a third Big Ending for a second five count.

Emma is blowing bubbles in the back and says her plan for the match tonight is to win. She says Renee can’t have her bubbles but can hold them while Emma has her match.

NXT Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Emma vs. Aksana

Aksana takes her to the mat to start and gets two off a backbreaker. Emma avoids a charge in the corner and slides into a sunset flip for two. Aksana works on the arm but the match turns into a catfight with neither being able to take over. Off to a headscissors on Emma before Aksana takes her into the corner for some gyrating. Emma kicks her to the mat and hooks a bridging Indian deathlock called the Dilemma for the tap out at 3:38.

Rating: D. Aksana looks great in her outfits but the girl is a disaster in the ring. Thankfully they don’t treat her like anything serious and she’s just there to fill in a spot when needed. Emma continues to be entertaining by being so goofy that it’s hard not to chuckle at her. She’s getting better and better in the ring as well.

Emma brings some kids in the ring to dance with her.

Leo Kruger is hard to understand. Everything changes next.

Dante Dash vs. Leo Kruger

Dash takes him to the corner to start as we hear about Kruger being a mercenary. Leo pulls him down to the mat and drives some knees into Dash’s shoulder to take over. Back up and Kruger bends Dash’s arm over the shoulder before sending him into the post. The shoulder goes into the post again and a big clothesline puts Dash down. Kruger’s GC3 (seated arm/triceps pull) gets the submission at 2:46. Squash.

The Ascension will rise. Again.

Mickey Keegan vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas takes him down with an armdrag for two as the crowd is SILENT. A pair of atomic drops and a dropkick put Keegan down again and some forearms set up a climbing the corner bulldog. Dallas hits the belly to belly for the pin at 1:47. The fans do not care at all.

Post match Leo Kruger comes in and lays out Keegan before reaching for the title.

Kassius Ohno/Corey Graves vs. Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan

The winners get a shot at the Wyatt Family at some point to be announced. Ohno starts with Dawson with Kassius cranking on the arm. Off to Graves for more arm cranking before Ohno takes him down with a headlock. Graves comes back in to work on the arm as Phillips inaccurately says the Wyatt Family is undefeated as a tag team. Dawson finally escapes and takes Graves down to bring in Dylan for a neckbreaker for two.

We take a break and come back with Graves still in trouble as Dawson and Dylan continue to cut the ring in half. Dylan hooks a chinlock before a clothesline gets two for Dawson. A jawbreaker gets Graves out of trouble and it’s back to Ohno to clean the lower half of the house. A kind of spinning release suplex gets two for Kassius but Dylan makes a blind tag and the trailer boys hit Southern Pride for two. Now it’s Ohno in trouble with Dawson getting two off another clothesline.

Dylan comes in to crank on the neck as Regal actually acknowledges a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Ohno fights up but can’t make the tag after sunset flipping Dylan. An elbow to the jaw is enough for the tag to Graves and the fans aren’t all that interested. A knee to the face gets two for Graves as everything breaks down. Corey ties Garrett’s legs up in the ropes to pound away even more before getting two off a fireman’s carry into a backbreaker. Dawson and Ohno go to the floor as Graves takes out Dylan’s leg and the Lucky 13 leg lock gets the submission at 9:34 shown of 13:04.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t terrible but like the live crowd I couldn’t get into it. Given the story going on with the Wyatt Family the ending was never in doubt whatsoever which makes the match less interesting to sit through. Add in the fact that Dawson and Dylan are a black hole of charisma and this was long and not very interesting.

Post match the Wyatt Family hits the ring to beat down their #1 contenders but Adrian Neville comes out for the save. He loads up the Red Arrow but Dawson and Dylan break it up. William Regal of all people runs in for the save but the heels have too much of a numbers advantage. Bray splashes Regal in the corner and the Family’s music plays to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was one of those shows that builds for later instead of being entertaining in its own right. A ticked off and serious Langston is interesting as is Kruger going after the title, but Dallas seemingly as a face and Dawson/Dylan in general do nothing for me or the live crowd it seems. The post main event stuff helped as the Wyatt Family are far more interesting heels than the trailer boys.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Aiden English – Big Ending

Emma b. Aksana – Dilemma

Leo Kruger b. Dante Dash – GC3

Bo Dallas b. Mickey Keegan – Belly to belly suplex

Corey Graves/Kassius Ohno b. Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan – Lucky 13 to Dylan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

We’re at the very end of the Corporate Ministry here as Taker is champion and Austin is the CEO due to some complete insanity. The main event tonight is Austin vs. the McMahons in a handicap ladder match for control of the company. Also Taker defends against Rock and there’s the tournament.

They’ve shifted back to having the final 8 on the show, which tells me they didn’t have much else to work with. However, given how bad WCW was doing at the time, it wasn’t really needed. This is a show I vaguely remember, so let’s get to it as I could use a refreshing.

The intro is fairly creative as it’s kind of a crash course of how we got to the main event with little sound bites from political issues such as Kennedy’s do for your country speech which is switched to company here and Nixon saying he isn’t a crook. It’s better than it sounds. No mention of the title match or the tournament but no one cared about those matches anyway so it’s all good.

Before we get going, here are your brackets, which aren’t given at all and we’re halfway through the first match.

Billy Gunn
Ken Shamrock

Big Show
Kane

Road Dogg
Chyna

Hardcore Holly
X-Pac

Back to the midcard guys as it should be I think.

On Heat, Shane fought Shamrock and might be injured. Blackman beat the tar out of him which comes into play later tonight.

Cole says Shane might not be able to fight in the main event tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Hardcore Holly vs. X-Pac

Holly is booed out of the building here so we have a smart crowd. Holly beat Snow and Pac beat Boss Man. Lawler is surprised by Pac’s pyro, despite it having gone off about 100 times before. X-Pac is holding his neck which will also come into play later. I’ve always loved Lawler being such a McMahon fan. X-Pac hits a great cross body off the middle rope.

Pac speeds things up and then Holly slips into the proper position for the Bronco Buster which I hate. And then he goes to the floor and grabs a chair which he blasts Pac with for no apparent reason other than that we need to save time because we have seven matches tonight in the tournament alone. Road Dogg makes the save but X-Pac’s neck is hurt.

Rating: C-. It was just long enough to grade. It’s not bad or anything but with just over three minutes, what can I really get out of this? It’s not terrible I guess, but it’s far from anything of note. Pac was against a relatively small person so he was bearable.

Terry Taylor, somehow more worthless than he used to be, asks Holly why he did that. Holly’s reaction of who are you is great stuff. Holly says he does what he wants and hasn’t forgotten the Big Show, which was a bad idea that went nowhere.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Kane

Show has been a face for all of five minutes at this point and has been showing off his strength. This is match number one I think in their never ending rivalry. In an amazing stat, Kane is 172 pounds lighter than show. That’s saying a lot as Kane is a giant. Show beat Droz and Kane beat Test. Kane is of course a tweener here as he almost always was. Show manhandles Kane which is just awesome to see.

This is standard monster vs. monster so that’s all that’s needed. Show is on the box of the tape which is odd as he’s just a regular wrestler in the tournament. They mention the internet, but say they mean WWF.com despite making inferences they mean people like us. Ross says that Show is a lot like Andre, which they could make better jokes about in about two years. Kane hits an enziguri and I’m still not sure if I’m spelling that right.

I’ve always marked for that flying clothesline that Kane uses. Show hits a big boot to the referee and Kane hits a low blow. Hardcore Holly comes out because it’s another year and they have to push him again and he takes a Kane chokeslam making him drop the chair he brought with him. I know Kane has slammed Show before, but has he ever hit a chokeslam on him? I don’t remember him doing so.

At least the referee going down here is because of a solid shot like a boot and not just getting run into. Kane puts a choke on Show for about a minute and a half, which should kill him but it’s wrestling so whatever. The fans get very bored very fast with this.

Show just slaps Kane’s arm away because he’s strong to do that from one knee to a man the size of Kane after being choked for about two minutes straight. Kane picks up the chair and pops Show with it to get the pin as the referee just happens to get up on time for the count. Great chair shot if nothing else.

Rating: D+. That choke was 1/3 of the match. Other than that it was your standard stuff from these two so it was ok. Holly needs to fall in a hole though as for the life of me I don’t get why he kept getting pushes like these. It never worked and he never got over but he kept getting them anyway. As for the match, it wasn’t anything special, but I’ve always liked Kane so there we go.

Shane can’t compete according to Vince but you can hear him shouting frpm the locker room that he can go tonight.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is in his most famous gimmick here and he beat Viscera and Shamrock beat Jarrett. Gunn has a tag belt but isn’t a champion in a way too complicated storyline that was shockingly a Russo idea. He won one of the titles or something like that in a 6 man but it was never official and the APA got them back in a few days. Yeah it was pointless. Gunn says get out here and forfeit. Shamrock beats up the EMTs and comes out anyway to a nice pop but no music until it comes on as I’m typing that and I’m too lazy to fix it.

Teddy Long, the referee here says that Ken is too hurt to fight but he rings the bell anyway. Gunn is actually smart here and pounds on the chest and ribs and nothing else. Shamrock actually gets a quick ankle lock but a shot to the ribs gets Gunn out of it. You can more or less see the ending coming from miles away. Shamrock starts a comeback and drops a ton of F bombs while spitting up pink blood that’s staining his skin.

I like the blood from the mouth but Vince, you’re miles ahead of everyone in the wrestling world. Buy good fake blood. Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but it’s countered into a powerbomb and the blood flow causes the referee to call it due to the injuries. Also, blood doesn’t hang off the lip like a string. Long takes the safest through the ropes bump I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C+. Although it’s three minutes long, this was actually decent. In those three minutes, we have psychology in the chest/rib work, some decent shots, a decent performance from Shamrock, and an ending that makes sense. It’s weak, but it makes sense. They have way too many matches here so we have three matches and no regular endings yet. That can’t be a good sign.

Buy these WWF video releases that show very little about the wrestlers but were actually pretty good.

Chyna says that she wants to be a queen and Road Dogg has big balls. HHH says that he’s his own man.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal a thing of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Oh and Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

Updated brackets:

Billy Gunn
Kane

Road Dogg
X-Pac

There’s one matchup here that makes sense. Can you see it?

Cole is with Rock who says he’ll beat up Taker tonight. This was pretty weak.

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

This is a rematch from earlier in the night as the APA came out and beat up both teams to demand a match with Billy for the next night to get the other belt back. Edge and Christian are currently the Brood and the Hardys have Michael Hayes as a manager. The winners are the number one contenders also. This is very short but it’s good. Oh like I needed to tell you guys that.

This is when both teams were both very young and very not over. There’s no point in doing any play by play here as just about everything they’re doing here is stuff they’ve done in a million better matches. Edge is starting to use the spear around this time and we get a nice jab from JR by saying that a spear Edge uses to counter Poetry in Motion is the darndest spear that you’ll ever see.

It ends with Gangrel shooting the liquid at Edge by mistake and a Twist of Fate without a name yet by Jeff for the pin. Oh and Michael Hayes and Gangrel fought a lot. The Hardys would take the titles about two weeks later from the Acolytes and lose them back a few days later. Post match JR raves about the spear from the second rope to Jeff. I’m actually laughing at JR saying that’s the greatest spear you’ll ever seen, considering they did the same thing at 10 feet in the air in less than two years.

Rating: B-. It was less than five minutes but it was a good five minutes. These four had a very hard time having a bad match and this was no exception. They just flowed really well together and this was still a fresh match at this time so that helps a lot. The first ladder match was in about 4-5 months.

Buy Fully Loaded!

Taker says balls, making it the third time in one show.

Vince comes out and says Shane is hurt and the winner take all match won’t happen. This would be the first of at least two winner take all matches in this arena that Shane and Austin would be in, the other being Survivor Series 2001. Shawn comes out and Lawler gets a quick losing my smile joke.

Vince says he’ll have a replacement, meaning the match will happen despite Vince saying it wouldn’t. I’m confused already. Lawler says that there should be a church of McMahon started. Somehow, that actually happened later on.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Kane vs. Billy Gunn

Oh well we get more great music here. Kane’s pyro is the loudest thing you will ever hear. Ok, so this is about as basic of a match as you could imagine, but it’s just boring. For one thing they actually let Billy run the match and he calls a few spots VERY loudly. It’s one of the worst I’ve ever heard as he’s got Kane in a chinlock and he calls out about the next 30 seconds of spots.

Both guys hit very nice dropkicks, with Gunn nearly clearing Kane’s head. The guy had insane ability but with all of the atrocious gimmicks and the drugs, he was just worthless so much of the time. Also being as lazy as he was didn’t help either. The problem here is simple: Gunn is dominating Kane more than Taker, the current world champion, ever did. Kane hits nothing big at all and I’m just trying to figure out what the theory is behind having Gunn dominate a former world champion.

My only guess would be having him win the whole thing for failed push number 10,000. After about five minutes of just wasting time when I could be picking flies out of a pile of dead wildebeests which would be far more interesting, Show comes down and grabs the chair from Gunn to whack Kane with it. The referee is down. Why is he down? Like we need to know something stupid like that! Gunn gets the pin.

Rating: D. Russo is just annoying. Seriously, Gunn over Kane? And it’s not like the chair changed everything. Gunn was in complete control before that. Basically they jobbed out Kane to a guy whose theme song talked about beating and kicking them. Think about that for a minute. The match was boring beyond belief too.

X-Pac, holding his neck, says that between him and Brian James tonight, may the best man win. Pac’s neck really was messed up here, but they either didn’t know that or just didn’t care, which makes things even worse.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Ok, so Billy Gunn is in the finals. We have his legendary tag partner in the other semi-final. Anyone else see what the given final should be? Oh just wait. It’s Russo, so you know he’s going to screw it up. In a funny bit, Road Dogg is in the back with Cole where he says he doesn’t want to do this but he will anyway. He grabs the mic from Cole and uses it for his intro. That’s awesome to me for some reason.

Pac is clearly missing a step here and it’s because of his neck. In other words, not only are they going to mess up the freaking lay up of a final, but they’re going to put X-Pac, who is legit hurt in there and have him risk even more of an injury. And it’s a three minute match that I missed most of because I was typing.

That can’t be a good sign. Pac reversed a pumphandle slam and hit the X-Factor. He holds his neck despite it not being worked on at all, which should have been clue number 8 or so, but perish the thought of Russo using logic or caring about his workers during a match.

Rating: N/A. There’s just not enough here to go on, at least not in a three minute match. Somehow, this is the only clean finish so far tonight.

We get a recap of Rock vs. Taker, set to techo music in the opening. I wish I was making this up. Rock won a triple threat with Taker and HHH to get this shot.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Undertaker

Well at least they’re getting this right by having the ladder match in the main event since it’s the real main event of the show. Taker is in the demon gimmick here and is just a few months away from leaving for about 8 months. The Corporate Ministry was beginning to crumble here and it was very clear. Two seconds into the match Taker punches the referee and Russomania lives!

Rock gets a Rock Bottom after about 10 seconds and another referee hits the ring for two as Bearer pulls the referee out and punches him. There’s a chokeslam at 50 seconds which gets two. We go up to the entrance because it’s the late 90s and it’s required by some sort of law I think. We hear that Rock is 27 for the second time in about 5 minutes. And we’re still on the floor like we have been for about 4 minutes now.

Hey we’re in the ring now! There’s a novel idea. After Taker dominates for a good while, Rock counters by crotching Taker on the top rope. And hey we’re back in the crowd now because we haven’t done that in all of two minutes. In a funny line, Lawler asks Ross if he’s scared. “Yeah I’m scared!”. That was funny for some reason. Ok, so Rock gets a chair and swings it but Taker gets the bell to block it and Rock gets hit in the face by his own chair.

We’re about 8 minutes in and at least 5 or 6 has been on the floor. Bearer gets in a shot with a shoe. That’s kind of a downgrade from the urn wouldn’t you say? Taker keeps the advantage and uses the powers of evil to put on a chinlock. OOO that’s just EVIL! There’s a group of fans in the front section that keep trying to get in the camera shot which is very annoying. This match is just boring.

There’s nothing here that’s making me care about it at all. And the referee goes down AGAIN. And hey, since nothing of interest has happened in this match, Taker knocks Rock down and Bearer pulls out a cloth and a bottle. As soon as it’s opened, Ross says he thinks it smells like ether. Rock gets the cloth on Taker’s face. HHH comes out and before he does anything at all Ross calls him a no good lousy SOB.

Yes, the challenger allegedly has ETHER on another man’s face and HHH is evil for walking. Ross makes my head throb at times. Taker adds a tombstone to end it to massive booing. He would lose the title in less than 24 hours.

Rating: D. This was just crap. It was beyond overbooked which just makes it awful. These two have zero chemistry together and never did at all. Taker was just not doing anything at all around this time and it was clear that he was just showing up to get a paycheck and then go home. This was just stupid and the booking of it didn’t do it any favors.

Ad for WWF.com which was a new thing back then.

The announcers say that HHH could be the replacement.

Send in your cable bill and get a free WWF CD case. Again, this is something that they should do today. It’s not much, but it’s a little thank you for ordering. I really don’t think they’ll miss a Cena arm band or something like that.

In the back we see a brawl where HHH is trying to get at Shawn and a ton of security and Vince are between them. HHH is thrown out by Shawn as Vince says that HHH was his partner. He gets on a phone and says to get back here now.

King of the Ring Finals: X-Pac vs. Billy Gunn

Again I am baffled by how this could be messed up. Gunn says he’s going for X-Pac’s neck. Oh how I hate Russo’s mindless booking. You can see clearly that Pac is messed up beyond belief. But hey, we have a pointless match since we can’t have the smart match right? Billy has the tag title still and no one gets it. Pac is clearly in agony. WOW I have never heard a crowd so quiet.

Gunn has somehow turned heel here I think, but according to Russo there’s no such thing as a face or a heel so there we go. The fans are just dead as three matches from anyone is just WAY too much for one night no matter what. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I feel bad for X-Pac. He clearly has no business at all to be in there but he’s doing it anyway as he doesn’t know how bad he’s hurt.

Pac keeps kicking out and hits an X-Factor that gets two. He hits a Bronco Buster that even I won’t make fun of here. Billy hits a Fameasser off the middle rope after a weak comeback to make himself King while X-Pac is heading to a hospital and some time off to heal. There’s no coronation either.

Rating: F. No. This was just completely ridiculous on every level. One guy was clearly hurt very badly and had no business being in the ring. I can’t blame Pac at all for getting in there as any athlete is always going to want to compete and very well could have been told go out there or go find another job.

The fact that they had him out there is completely inexcusable. Also, they missed the Outlaws exploding because they would rather have a match that makes ZERO sense because that’s Russo for you. This is a great example of why the guy is hated.

LONG recap of Vince vs. Austin which was about as over the top as anything in history. In case you don’t know it, Vince terrorized his own family and had his daughter kidnapped and almost married to a demon to get the title off of Austin. He acted all serious and upset but turned out to be the mastermind behind the whole thing, which was a great swerve.

Austin was then declared the new CEO and had 50% of the power. Stephanie is very young and pre-implants here so she looks great. HHH and her were just getting together here and you can’t see anything of it yet.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever.

Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says boy are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

An ad for Fully Loaded ends the show.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess.

They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

Rating: F. There is not one appealing thing about this show. The tournament is one of the worst in history, the crowd popped maybe twice, the matches are bad as there are two, count them two, clean finishes out of ten, and nothing of note happens here, since the whole Austin’s life is a living nightmare lasted a freaking day as he won the title back the next night on Raw.

This was just a freaking waste of three hours and it was somehow worse than I remember it being. Don’t watch anything here unless you’re being subjected to torture, as I think this is now the preferred method of death in 8 countries.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: