He came out to attack Del Rio to a MONSTER face reaction.  Things are changing and they’re changing in a hurry.

Payback 2013
Date: June 16, 2013
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 14,623
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

First of all, Happy Birthday Mom. This show doesn’t look all that strong on paper. It’s been built up well enough, but the main story is HHH who isn’t even booked on the show. We have a main event of Ryback vs. Cena in a 3 Stages of Hell match for the world title but it’s only gotten a decent build while other stuff (such as the Shield) has gotten most of the air time. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match we see R-Truth, Big Show (now a face apparently) and Cody Rhodes as our expert panel. This match is a result of Sandow testing Sheamus’ mental strength in a series of challenges. Sheamus runs Damien over with a shoulder block to start but Sandow fires back with right hands in the corner. A powerslam stops Sandow’s offense and the top rope shoulder gets two for Sheamus. Damien rolls to the floor to avoid the ten forearms to the chest and is sent into the barricade for his efforts.

Sandow comes back with a knee to the head and Sheamus is actually in trouble. We hit a chinlock back inside before Sandow goes up top, only to be slammed down. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow for two before….we take a break? Yes, we’re taking a break on the free pre-show. Back with Sandow pounding Sheamus down as the fans chant “You are welcome!”. Sheamus stands up to drop Sandow with an electric chair with Cole talking about George Hackenschmidt vs. Frank Gotch in Chicago.

Sheamus tries to come back in and gets caught with a knee lift and a neckbreaker for two. Sandow is sent to the apron for ten forearms followed by the Regal Roll for two. With Sandow down, Sheamus goes up top for what looks like a shoulder block, only to be crotched by Damien. A neckbreaker gets two for Sandow but the Terminus only gets two. Sandow charges into three straight Irish Curses and the Brogue Kick finishes him at 10:25.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it’s the same problem that everyone predicted: Sheamus beats Sandow every time so why should this be any different? Sandow isn’t on Sheamus’ level and never has been, but now we’re supposed to believe Damien can get a win? I don’t think many people bought that leading up to the show, although the match wasn’t terrible.

The opening video is about Chicago being run by gangsters back in the 1930s but the gangsters eventually received payback. We look at the main events with the voiceover talking about how you know when payback is coming.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending and Axel is a last minute substitute for a concussed Fandango. Miz and Barrett traded the title in April and had been feuding with Fandango for a few weeks. Miz pounds away on both guys to start with Axel being thrown out to the floor. Barrett gets in a sneak attack and Miz heads to the floor. The heels brawl for a few seconds before all three guys are back inside. Barrett gets two off a big boot to Miz as Axel is staying on the floor with Heyman.

Wade pounds Miz down and pulls Curtis to the apron for some knees to the face. Barrett crotches himself on the top rope as he misses a big boot, allowing Axel to take over on Miz. Axel rakes his boot across Miz’s face before hitting a snap belly to back suplex for two. All three are back in now with Miz taking over on both guys and hitting the corner clothesline on Barrett in the corner. A kick to Axel’s face gets two for Miz but he charges into the Winds of Change to stop him cold.

Axel escapes Wasteland and gets two off a PerfectPlex. The fans are getting into this now. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Axel but only gets two as Barrett delays the cover. Axel is sent to the floor and Miz gets the Figure Four on Barrett, but Curtis slides back in and covers Barrett while he’s still in the hold for the pin and the title at 10:38.

Rating: C+. Axel winning is as good as he can do at this point and the ending was pretty creative. Barrett losing the title is the right idea as his two reigns have made him look worthless. Hopefully Axel can do a bit better as there’s no need to have the champion destroyed over and over again.

The announcers push the idea of Axel winning the title on Father’s Day as a tribute to his dad.

Mark Henry is back tomorrow night. Word on the street is that he’s retiring.

Axel and Heyman run into HHH in the back. HHH won’t let Axel pass but here’s Vince to congratulate the new champion. Axel leaves in fear of Vince so the boss can suggest Axel vs. HHH on Raw. HHH says he isn’t feeling it after begging Vince for the match last week.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Kaitlyn and AJ were best friends for like two months last fall and we’re finally getting the match between them in June. AJ had Big E. Langston pretend to like Kaitlyn and then say it was a trick to make her feel worthless in a decent idea, but at the end of the day this is an eight month old story for the most worthless title in the company.

Kaitlyn takes it straight to the floor and throws AJ around before pounding on her in the ring. AJ takes it back to the floor and suckers Kaitlyn into a dropkick from the apron for two before putting on a cravate. Two straight neckbreakers get a near fall for AJ and it’s off to a sleeper. Kaitlyn fights out and dropkicks AJ down, only for AJ to pop back up and hook a crucifix for two. Kaitlyn sits up and lifts AJ into a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two of her own.

AJ plays possum and kicks Kaitlyn in the face for two. Lee goes up top but Kaitlyn catches her cross body in mid air. The champion spins her around but gets caught in the Black Widow, only to spin out of it into a backbreaker to AJ. The spear puts AJ down again but Kaitlyn takes forever to cover and only gets two. Kaitlyn misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Black Widow to give AJ the title at 9:57.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending was obvious given the buildup. AJ winning the title is the right move but this should have happened about eight months ago with Kaitlyn being the big challenger for the title instead of the other way around. It’s better than most Divas matches over the last few PPVs but it’s not going to change the division in any major way.

The fans tell Kaitlyn that she tapped out.

After the replays Layla, Nattie and Alicia console AJ in the back.

We go back to the expert panel from the pre-show for predictions and a chat about Axel winning the title.

Video on the Wyatt Family.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kane

Ambrose is defending because Kane beat him via DQ recently. Dean goes after Kane to start but the big man keeps punching him down. A quick suplex gets two on Ambrose and we’re already in a chinlock. There’s the low dropkick by Kane but Ambrose takes out Kane’s knee to block a second. Ambrose works on the knee before cranking on the neck. Kane fights out of a neckbreaker and goes up top but misses the top rope clothesline.

A jumping back elbow gets two for Dean and the champion hooks a dragon sleeper. Kane fights out of it and hooks the side slam for two. Dean ties him up in the ropes and slaps Kane in the face, earning himself a big boot to the jaw. Ambrose fights up and cranks on the arm before loading up Old School.

Kane breaks it up for his brother’s honor and hits the top rope clothesline, only to have Dean stun him across the ropes. Ambrose is kicked to the floor and they slug it out for a bit with Kane taking The big man puts him down and loads up the announce table, only to have Dean catch him in a DDT on the floor for the countout at 9:30.

Rating: C-. This was ok but the countout finish was stupid. It’s not like Kane is going to fall apart by being pinned by the US Champion on PPV. The DDT sounded great and Kane sold it well, but it should have been in the ring. At least Ambrose defended the title the first time out though, and maybe he can hold the thing more than a few months.

RVD is coming back at MITB. Nothing wrong with that but what was up with him being on TNA’s website after being released?

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is the long awaited rematch after Ziggler won the title in a MITB cash-in back in April. Dolph was injured by Swagger and has been out for about five weeks since. The fans are totally behind Ziggler here. Ziggler bails to the floor in the first fifteen seconds and is out again in less than another minute. Back in and Del Rio takes him into the corner as a BIG RVD chant goes up.

Del Rio goes after the injured head with kicks in the corner and a running kick gets two. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but is backdropped to the floor, hitting his head again. Alberto rams him head first into the announce table and Langston shoves the challenger around. That’s good for an ejection and the distraction lets Ziggler ram Alberto face first into the announce table.

Back inside now but Dolph is shaken up. Del Rio hooks a chinlock as Ziggler is being treated like a face here. The cross armbreaker is countered into the sleeper from Ziggler but Del Rio sends him into the corner to escape. Ziggler is put into the ropes for the forearms to the back and the Backstabber for two. Del Rio is wrestling like a heel here. The armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker for two for the champion. Cole is calling this like Dolph is a face. Ziggler gets back up and pounds away before mostly botching the Fameasser.

Dolph can barely stand up because of his head injuries but he climbs to the top anyway. Del Rio runs the ropes for the enziguri before hitting a reverse superplex for two. A baseball slide puts Ziggy on the floor and Del Rio kicks him square in the head from the apron. The doctor comes out to look at Ziggler but Dolph tries to get up. Del Rio hits a baseball slide to the back of Ziggler’s head and the champion is gone.

Ricardo is cheering Del Rio on as Alberto hits a running enziguri to a kneeling Ziggler for two. The fans are openly booing Del Rio and Cole is acknowledging it. Dolph pulls himself up on Del Rio’s trunks and hits a Zig Zag out of nowhere. Ziggler has nothing left though and gets kicked in the head again, giving Del Rio the pin and the title at 13:55.

Rating: B-. This was all about the story instead of the wrestling which made for an interesting match. It came off like the ultra-rare double turn as Ziggler was wrestling like an underdog while Del Rio was being vicious with the kicks and showing no mercy on Ziggler’s head injuries. That’s very interesting and probably the right idea for a guy like Dolph.

Del Rio celebrates to some VERY moderate applause but most people are either in shock or angry.

The expert panel talks about what we just saw.

The fans LOUDLY chant for Ziggler as Del Rio thanks the people in a slightly condescending way. He asks for cheers because he deserves to be champion.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk. Jericho questioned Punk still being the best in the world when he hadn’t been around in nearly two months. Heyman disagreed and signed Punk up for the match in Punk’s return in his hometown.

The panel previews the match.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho comes out to CM PUNK chants but it’s not anti-Jericho. Punk gets a big reaction but it’s not thunderous. I’m thinking the fans don’t love his mutton chops. Cole lists off some famous wrestlers from Chicago including One Man Gang (not exactly a big deal) and the Crusher (from Milwaukee) but nothing about the LOD or Lex Luger. They trade control on the mat with Jericho being booed out of the building. Back up and Jericho grabs a headlock for very early control.

Punk counters into a headlock of his own and they chop it out. Jericho stomps Punk down into the corner and is booed for the first time in years. Punk is sent to the outside for a baseball slide but he counters the springboard dropkick with a guillotine. Back in and Punk hits a top rope ax handle and hooks a top wristlock. Off to a shortarm scissors as it seems like they’ve got a lot of time to work with here.

Back up and Punk is sent into the buckle to give Jericho a breather. Some shoulders put Punk down as does an ax handle but he avoids the Lionsault. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for CM and the fans are cheering for both guys. The corner bulldog is shoved away to give the Canadian two and there are the Walls of Jericho. Punk crawls through and hooks the Anaconda Vice but Jericho gets his feet onto the ropes.

Punk calls for the GTS but Jericho counters into the Walls which are countered into a GTS which is countered into a rollup for two. A Codebreaker gets two for Chris and it’s time for the main event strike off. Punk kicks away at Jericho’s head and hits a leg lariat to put Jericho down. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow but the GTS is only good for two. Another Codebreaker is broken up and Jericho is sent to the outside. Punk hits the suicide dive but Punk counters the springboard clothesline into the Codebreaker…..for two. The place is going NUTS on these kickouts now.

Jericho pins back the arms and drives in elbows to the face as the fans chant THIS IS AWESOME. Jericho hits a good 25 elbows and Punk is in big trouble. The Walls are countered into a small package for two more and they slug it out with Punk getting the better of it. A standing hurricanrana is countered into the Walls so Heyman begins to pray. Punk punches Jericho’s sore arm to make it a half crab before fighting up and hitting a pair of GTS’s for the pin at 21:27.

Rating: A-. This was the kind of match that Punk needed to have in his return. The fans weren’t completely hating Jericho but he was clearly the heel in the match, pretty much by default. Punk is going to be a huge face by fan response alone so turning him wouldn’t be a problem at all. This was the great match you would expect from these two on this stage.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton/Daniel Bryan

Same story as before: the challengers beat Shield in a non-title match and earned a shot here. Bryan starts things off and moonsaults over Reigns, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for two. Off to Rollins as Cole screws up the result of the Shield loss on Smackdown. Reigns throws Seth into Bryan for two before Roman comes in for a chinlock. An elbow to the face gets two for Reigns and it’s back to the chinlock.

Bryan fights back with a running clothesline and makes the hot tag off to Randy. Reigns takes the Elevated DDT and the fans are barely responding to this at all. Rollins gets one as well but he rolls to the floor before Orton can load up the RKO. Reigns punches Orton out to the floor. Orton gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile as the fans chant for RVD. Randy tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle to slow him down.

Reigns gets two off a kick to the head and it’s back to Rollins to stomp him down. Off to a reverse chinlock on Orton but Randy quickly fights up. Reigns’ charge goes into the post and Bryan finally gets the hot tag. A missile dropkick puts both Shield members down and Bryan fires off the kicks to Reigns’ chest. Bryan low bridges Roman to the floor before throwing Rollins on top of him.

The suicide dive only hits Orton though and the challengers are in trouble. Back in and Bryan hits a butterfly superplex for two on Rollins and there’s the NO Lock. Reigns makes the save but Bryan throws the hold on one more time, only to have Reigns break it up again. Orton shoves Bryan into the spear by mistake, allowing Rollins to hit a running knee to the back of Bryan’s head for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great match but it did everything they needed to do. I’m guessing this sets up Bryan and Orton down the line (probably on Raw tomorrow night) but Bryan needs a world title push given how hot he is at the moment. Shield retaining the titles is fine but the match was only good compared to their usual great stuff.

We recap the main event. Ryback fought Cena to a no contest at Extreme Rules but Cena wouldn’t go into an ambulance. The result: a 3 Stages of Hell match with the first fall being a lumberjack match, the second being a tables match and the third being an ambulance match. Ryback went on a path of rage, powerbombing a lot of people through tables over the last few weeks.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena

The first fall is a lumberjack match with pretty much any wrestler you would name at ringside. Ryback powers Cena into the corner to start and counters the bulldog into a belly to back slam for two. Cena comes back with a fisherman’s suplex and some elbow drops as Cole talks about the “historic” extreme lumberjack match in 2006. Who even remembered that thing back in like 2007? It was against Sabu at Vengeance 2006 if I remember correctly but dear goodness who thought of that match and thought Cole should bring it up?

The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.

We get the required lumberjack brawl but Cena DIVES onto all of them at the same time in a huge crash. Back in and Cena hooks the STF but Ryback powers out and gets the Shell Shock for the first fall at 7:32. We’re at the tables match now with the lumberjacks all gone. Ryback immediately tackles Cena down and has early control of the second fall. Here’s the first table of the night but Cena escapes the powerslam. A spinebuster puts Cena down and the fans chant Goldberg.

Cena escapes a gorilla press into the AA but Ryback reaches down and flips the table over while still on Cena’s shoulders. We head to the floor and Cena is whipped into the steps to give Ryback control again. Ryback sets up the table in the corner before knocking Cena down with the steps in the ring. Cena staggers up next to the table but the steps go through the table instead of the champion.

Cena puts Ryback down with a belly to belly suplex and some steps to the head to put Ryback down. Here’s another table in the ring but Cena is placed onto it instead, only to get back off of it when Ryback drops the steps through the table. Ryback launches the steps at Cena but they go out to the floor, allowing Cena to hit the shoulder blocks and the Shuffle. Ryback comes back with a spinebuster and the Meat Hook before getting another table. The Shell Shock is loaded up but Cena counters into a quick AA to tie it up at 16:10.

The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.

Cena pulls a crutch from the ambulance but Ryback knocks it out of his hands. A punch misses Cena and goes through the glass but Ryback doesn’t seem to mind. Cena rams him back first into the ambulance doors but can’t follow up. They open the driver’s door so Cena can whip Ryack into it so hard that the door breaks off. An ambulance door to the face staggers Ryback but he throws Cena into the front of the ambulance.

The bumper is ripped off the front of the ambulance and Ryback wraps it around Cena’s back. Cena blocks a powerbomb into a backdrop onto the hood and starts climbing up to the top. An emergency light to Ryback’s shoulder knocks him back to the floor but Ryback is right back up. Cena stares down at him and they brawl on top of the ambulance until Cena hits an AA through the roof to retain at 24:38.

Rating: B-. This was good but by the end it was a spot fest. It was certainly entertaining but I don’t think anyone bought Ryback as a real threat to the belt. The fact that he hasn’t won a major PPV match since at least August might have something to do with it but I’m not quite sure. It’s good stuff but nothing I’ll remember three days from now.

Overall Rating: B+. While it isn’t as great as some people have said it was, this falls into the category of very pleasant surprise. Granted when the level of interest coming into this was somewhere between a root canal and butter, it’s not that hard to be better than expected. There’s nothing bad on the show though and a lot of interesting stuff happened. Good show here and hopefully the start of something new for WWE.

Results

Curtis Axel b. Wade Barrett and The Miz – Axel pinned Barrett while Barrett was in the Figure Four

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Dean Ambrose b. Kane via countout

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Kick to the head

CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton/Daniel Bryan – Knee to the back of Bryan’s head

John Cena b. Ryback – AA through the top of an ambulance

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

He officially announced it on Raw. Given all the injuries, I can’t say I blame him.  The fans gave him a very nice reaction and chanted his name.

Edit: scratch that as Henry beat up Cena to set up a future match.

Even Cole immediately buried this on commentary.It’s Cesaro, who completely misses the point of Colter’s speeches.  In other words, now he’s a jobber to the stars with a manager.  That’s an improvement for him at least.

Christian came back tonight on Raw and beat Barrett in a glorified squash.  I still don’t get the mass appeal of him but he’s certainly a good hand to have.

Punk said that he doesn’t want Heyman out there for his matches anymore.  You can see Punk vs. Lesnar at Summerslam for here.  Why I’m not sure but you can see it.

He called the US a bunch of pigs and cowards.

For the love of all things good and holy, let it be better than the last heel run.

This is another very old one but it’s an interesting show.  It’s one of the first 30 reviews I’ve ever done so I know the quality is very low.

Great American Bash 1996
Date: June 16, 1996
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

Another random review here in light of the 4th of July. This show is famous for one incident and semi-famous for one match. The main event was a total waste with Giant defending against Luger. Other than that your big match is Flair and Anderson vs. Kevin Greene and Steve McMichael, two former NFL players which for some reason was a huge deal, or at least built up as one.

Other than that, it’s really kind of forgotten as most WCW shows from this era were. The NWO was just over the horizon as they would unite for the first time a mere 21 days after this. Hall and Nash were around at this time as there was still the theory that everything was a HUGE angle with WWF but no one really was sure.

This was huge at the time and the Attitude Era was being conceived based on the things that were about to happen. On that basis, the thing that happens here was huge, but other than that I’m not sure how much there is. Let’s go with it, and happy 4th of July!

We open with Heenan in the back PANICKING. He’s managing Anderson and Flair as Savage manages the football players. We get short promos from all major parties involved. Luger says he’s going to get a third belt to go with his tag and TV title. Is there a need to put two titles on one guy and then have him in the world title match? Giant says no, he won’t, and we’re on the air.

We get the presentation of the American flag by a guy we’re supposed to forget is a wrestler I guess. Oh apparently we’re supposed to know him. I guess that’s ok. Dusty and Tony explain the two big matches because the video/promos we just got didn’t explain them well enough I guess. They acknowledge the death of Dick Murdock. That’s kind of nice.

Fire and Ice vs. Steiner Brothers

There must be a winner apparently, as this is one of many matches they’ve had but we’ve never had a winner, so the Steiners have to beat them up on PPV instead of trying to find a good feud for one of the best tag teams ever. I love their theme music for some reason.

Fire and Ice are Scott Norton, who is a far bigger star in Japan, and Ice Train, who never did anything. They’re just two big guys that got put into a tag team so they’d have something to do I guess. It’s weird to see a four man match with Rick Steiner being the smallest guy in the ring.

Scott is huge here as the evolution into the singles guy wasn’t quite there yet. Norton and Train are the really weak kind of team who fought all the time but were made a team out of respect. That can work, but I’ve never been a fan of it. Steingers are incredibly over here as the problem was simple: they were WAY too big for the tag titles, so what do you do with them?

Dream’s voice is really very annoying. Tony just sounds like an idiot that makes Cole look great on the mic. Faces, or at least the bigger faces, run off the heels as they do their weird looking pose with Rick running around and sliding between Scott’s legs. There’s just something not right about that.

The Steiner line amuses me as it’s really a jumping shoulder block with an arm extended. This may or may not be for the #1 Contender spot. They can’t simply just SAY that it is or not but rather “this will move them very high up the ranks”. Is it that hard to just SAY the winner will be the #1 contenders?

My goodness Fire and Ice are generic as all goodness. They’re just two big strong guys that I have no reason to care about at all. Norton has one of the trademarks of bad wrestlers as he uses a shoulder breaker for his signature move. They hit their tag finisher on Rick, and as Scott comes running in Norton FREAKING LOOKS AT HIM.

My goodness at least try. Top rope finisher from the Steiners as this is just a mess. Scott hits the WORST frankensteiner of all time as Norton pretty much rolls forward instead of jumping. Nick Patrick counts two and says that’s it as even he wanted this load of garbage to end.

Rating: D+. Holy goodness this was just a train wreck. The styles just completely sucked. The Steiners just weren’t what they used to be at this point and I think a lot of that can be attributed to Scott changing his style. Rick was already a power guy. They didn’t need another one. Fire and Ice completely sucked though, so that has a lot to do with it.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and Kevin Sullivan talk about how this feud isn’t about the Dungeon of Doom against the Horsemen but Sullivan has been beating them all up anyway. Sullivan was just a guy that flat out wasn’t that good. He was too small and did little more than punch.

US Title: El Gato vs. Konnan

This is a prime example of the odd stuff about WCW at the time. They would bring in these random guys, in this case Tanaka of the Orient Express dressed as a Luchador. This was the attempt to make a cross cultural promotion, but there was just one problem: no one cared about the Mexican heritage or whatever. Gato had ONE match, and he gets a US Title shot.

That’s the stupid part of it. He’s a good wrestler, but these matches were just completely random and there was no emotion to them at all. Dusty references people listening to this on the radio. As weird as that sounds, it might actually have happened. JR did WWF Radio for years.

Dusty goes on to make stupid jokes about how Gato is quick as a cat. Problem #2 with this: they’re doing a mat based match. Mexican wrestling is supposed to be high flying. Instead we get top wrist locks etc. Also there’s no Mike Tenay, who was one of the few guys that actually knew what he was talking about in this stuff.

Oh, but apparently he’s going to be there later for Mysterio’s match with Malenko. Oh that’s great. We get a Mexican wrestling expert for a match between two Americans. I’m so painfully bored right now. Gato runs into the corner but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. My GOD this was awful. No one gave a second thought about it, the match was dull as watching molasses dry in a freshly painted white room, and the ending came out of nowhere. WCW just thought that if they had foreign wrestlers that things would work great. It’s not that simple. If you have foreign wrestlers, they have to do something that Americans don’t do, like high flying. I don’t want to see a Mexican wrestler do arm bars for 70% of a match. My goodness this was horrid.

Sting is in the back and talks about how Regal’s Britishness is just a bit off. This is a comedy interview and it’s ok I guess. He goes into normal Sting mode and it’s a huge improvement.

Lord of the Ring: DDP vs. Marcus Bagwell

This is for the Battlebowl Ring, because WCW didn’t have enough titles so they made the ring that was won in a battle royal earlier in the year a title as well. This was actually a very interesting time and angle for DDP. DDP had done an angle where he won something like 6 million dollars playing bingo, which yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds.

He started losing money though and eventually got thrown out of the company due to a stipulation in a match. Eventually he came back broke and worked his way up, winning the TV Title and some other things, before going face and being one of the main fighters against the NWO. It was a really long and drawn out process, but it got a guy like DDP WAY over, so it worked. He’s the classic example of a guy that can take one single move and make a career out of it. That’s quite impressive.

The match comes about as the American Males FLIPPED A COIN before we went on air. Seriously, that’s the amount of thought put into this. They flipped a freaking coin. I’m getting sleepy watching this. It’s just so generic and there’s so little thought put into it. Page does a spot that he almost always did as he gets knocked into the front row, prompting Tony to make his “he didn’t pay for that seat” joke.

They recap his comeback with him having a benefactor which was never explored. Bagwell is one of the luckiest wrestlers of all time and proof that an NWO shirt on you can keep you employed. He was the most generic wrestler ever, which is an exaggeration but I felt like saying it. *Norcal says your face is exaggerated*

He did nothing of note ever and was somehow always on the midcard. Was Bischoff getting some sweet Judy Bagwell loving? DDP misses an Orton punt to the ribs, causing him to land on his back. Tony makes a punter joke, which is par for him I guess.

Bagwell’s genericness is making me want to stab something. He’s just so BLAND. Oh and the crowd is dead. No one cares and this is almost a ten minute match. The ending is awful too as Page just grabs him and Diamond Cuts him. Well that was riveting.

Rating: F. Man alive this show sucks. It was boring, it was bland, and no one wanted to see it. I can’t get over the freaking coin toss thing. Bagwell was awful and Page was overrated. What were you expecting here?

Giant and Hart talk about the title match with Luger tonight, which might be the worst main event feud in WCW history. Giant still won’t shut up about beating Hogan. Gene looks sleepy.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko

This is Rey’s debut apparently, so let’s give him a title match! It’s always cool to see mega stars like Rey debut like this. You ever notice that the Cruiserweight Title almost always came down to the heel not flying that much and facing a guy that jumped everywhere? Rey grabs a headlock to start which gets him absolutely nowhere.

Tenay used to drive me crazy but here he’s required almost. They both sit out and it’s a double nipup for a standoff. Malenko takes him to the mat but Rey speeds it up and sends Dean to the floor with an armdrag. He adds in the Jericho springboard dropkick to send Dean to floor. Rey is 21 here but has been wrestling since he was 14 which is insane.

Rey tries some of his leverage stuff but gets sent to the floor. They speed things up a bit but Dean hits the floor to break the momentum as he’s rather smart. Dean goes after the arm and Rey is in trouble. Hammerlock slam as Dean channels his inner Anderson. We hear about the Cruiserweights in the division which really was an incredible collection of talent.

We hear about Rey being in AAA as is Konnan. The more I hear about AAA the more I like it. Rey speeds things up again but Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. We hear about NJPW and Eddie winning the Super J Tournament. Notice what WCW was doing at the time: they were pulling talent from EVERYWHERE and drawing in as many fans as they possibly could. Very smart business as there are more fans in the world rather than in America.

Dean works on the arm more and Rey is in trouble. Dean gets an overhead belly to belly while hooking the arm around like a hammerlock. That was pretty cool looking. Notice here that he’s throwing on a bunch of holds but they’re different, which makes it less boring. Anyone can throw on an armbar 5 times, but throw on different moves and you get a potentially different reaction, which is a good thing.

Off to a surfboard which is always cool looking. Dean drops him back out of it and into a bridge for two. Right back to the arm by Dean and Rey is in big trouble. Butterfly suplex gets two and Dean is frustrated. Rey gets to a rope but the referee is like whatever and lets them keep going. Rey gets a leverage move to send Dean to the floor and hits a springboard sommersault senton to take both guys out.

Springboard missile dropkick gets two as the fans are WAY into this now. The move that would become West Coast Pop gets two. Dean sends him to the apron and Rey goes up. Top rope Frankensteiner puts Dean down but another rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb and the feet go onto the ropes for Dean to get the pin and retain. Awesome match.

Rating: A-. Standard great match with these two. Malenko may have been pretty dull as far as charisma goes, but dang he could go in the ring. Mysterio was always fun to watch when he still had knees, and this was no exception. This right here is what began to carry WCW in the NWO years. They would do the heavy lifting and the main event guys would get all the credit.

Lex Luger says he’s completely focused on Giant. This just screams WORST TITLE MATCH EVER. The build is Luger got chokeslammed on a table. It’s just generic and no one cares, but that could be said of the whole PPV.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thankfully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a freaking thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him.

We go to Gene in the back with the football players and their wives. I still don’t get why this was considered a good idea. McMichael tried really hard but just never got it. However, considering he was a good football player and made an attempt at wrestling, that’s at least impressive.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the tar out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to freaking hurt. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his freaking mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks VERY painful. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

In the back Gene is with the women and Flair but Benoit and Anderson come in. Anderson says that Benoit is officially one of them, giving him the biggest endorsement you can get in the sport. Everyone says that they’ll get the football players tonight.

Sting vs. Steve Regal

Their respective teams have been feuding so we get a singles match here that actually doesn’t sound too bad on paper. The pop for Sting is easily the biggest of the night as he’s so over it’s uncanny. They start off pretty fast which is expected but then as also can be expected, they slow things down a lot and get down on the mat where both guys can go, but Regal can go better.

Regal is actually out wrestling Sting here, which isn’t something that you can say that often. Regal is a good guy to have in a role like this as he can just beat on people with all kinds of moves and can get people on the mat where he’ll own them. There’s little better than a guy that can get someone down on the mat and work them over while making them look weak.

The thing that looks better is the guy that can beat him. Regal calling Sting Sunshine is just funny. He plays the cocky British heel so perfectly well that he’s just great. Sting is good enough to keep up with him on the mat which a lot of people can’t say. The announcers all of a sudden have an attitude about the outsiders invading, which hasn’t been here all night.

This was where the thing started to go downhill, as eventually WCW was pushed down our throats as this huge and perfect wrestling company that we had to love, which WCW just wouldn’t accept anything otherwise. That’s just dumb all around. I really like the way Regal just beats on Sting and locks in the Regal Stretch like it’s nothing, but it’s stupid to see Regal just let the hold go because Sting won’t give up.

It’s not like the hold is going to make him feel better, so why would you just break it? That makes no sense at all. Sting hulks up and gets kneed in the chest on a splash attempt. That means nothing as he knocks Regal down and has him tapping in about three seconds. I HATE that ending. He got his head handed to him for 15 minutes and then takes over inside of a minute? That just doesn’t work at all.

Rating: B-. This was a decent match, but DANG the ending messed it up. Regal dominating the entire time worked, but there should have been more of a comeback and less domination as it makes Regal’s offense look bad. Of course Sting was going to win here, but I didn’t like the way it was executed at all.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene/Steve McMichael

This is another attempt at crossing over with football, which just never works for one reason: football players can’t wrestle that well because they get a crash course in wrestling. Now there have been players that have gotten long training and are wrestlers for a long time who become good wrestlers and Mongo got close to doing that, but not when they do it in the off season or after retiring for the most part.

Heenan manages the heels here for no apparent reason. Savage manages the faces because he hates Flair, which is fine as it gives them a lot more credibility. Greene walks like a robot. His wife is hot though so that helps a lot. Rhodes makes a great comment that the football players who have been learning to wrestle shouldn’t try to wrestle. So wait, they wasted their time for the last few months? That’s a great endorsement there Dusty.

Arn and Mongo get down in a three point stance because that’s a brilliant idea where Mongo of course dominates him. Tony says that Mongo left the Bears for money. Remember that line. This really is just getting stupid all around. What’s commonly forgotten about Flair is that he was a college football player as well at the University of Minnesota, so the three point stance isn’t exactly a foreign concept to him.

Very soon we start to see the problem: the football guys know about 5 moves each, two of which are boots and punches. You can see that Flair and Anderson are completely carrying them and calling the whole thing, including hearing Flair call spots to Mongo, which might be due to the extreme close-ups in the corner.

Flair whispered, but with the camera 4 inches from him you can’t really blame him for that. The heel women chase away the face women. The announcers are still trying to make this sound epic and are still failing on every level. Mongo gets beaten on forever until the hot tag to bring in Greene for more punches, tackles and slams. Another five minutes or so of beating on Greene until Flair gets the figure four on.

Debra, Liz and Woman come back but Debra is dressed up now and Liz has a briefcase. You know what’s coming next. The shirt and money are in the case and Mongo hits Greene with it to join the Horsemen and end the match, drawing a huge pop as this is Horsemen country. Post match, there’s a huge beatdown by all four Horsemen. Benoit and Savage fight as I drool over the idea of that feud. You can see Flair say good job to Green after he pins him and the Four Horsemen are back!

Rating: C-. This was just pretty bad to say the least. I’ll give the football guys credit though as they were at least trying very hard. The turn at the end was clearly the most important part and while the match went on too long, it wasn’t terrible for what it was. Could have been better but it also could have been worse.

Now we get the really famous part of the show as Bischoff calls out Hall and Nash, but not by name. This segment was really more about clearing up a lawsuit that WWF filed against WCW over the use of copyrighted characters because they said that Hall and Nash were acting too much like Razor and Diesel.

They get their match in three weeks but they first have to say they don’t work for the WWF. The Outsiders want to know who they’re facing because they have a third guy and want to know who their opponents are. Eric says they’ll find out the next night on Nitro but that doesn’t sit well with the big boys, leading to a jackknife off the stage to another huge pop. You can really tell how much the people hated the old school WCW style and were craving something new. Of course the mystery guy would be Hogan while they would face Sting, Luger and Savage.

The cleanup takes longer than a Vince McMahon promo as Tony does the UNTHINKABLE and leaves Dusty alone on commentary. However, since this is live PPV and we’re on a time limit, forget Eric’s possible paralyzing injury and let’s have the main event!

WCW Title: Giant vs. Lex Luger

And so we begin the most lackluster main event that I can ever remember. To illustrate the match, Luger charges and gets his head kicked off within 2 seconds. It’s power vs. power again and since it hasn’t worked twice tonight, it has to work the third time right?

Sting chases off Hart who keeps interfering as Giant just beats on Luger forever with all kinds of power moves. Giant for those of you that don’t know is Big Show minus about 100 lbs and when he was one of the hottest things in wrestling because he really could move all around the ring at a fast pace.

However, he sucked as a world champion because he’s the kind of guy that a big face is supposed to take down, not the kind of guy you give the belt to for months at a time like WCW did. This is as much of a formula match as you’ll ever find with Giant beating on Luger and Luger keeps kicking out until he hits about 6 steel forearms in a row which Giant stays up from. Luger racks him but collapses under the weight. Giant pulls the strap down and chokeslams him for the pin to end what might be the worst PPV I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D+. If there’s ever been a match where the booking killed it, this is it. There was no reason to either have this match or at least have it go on last. It just shouldn’t have happened like this as the Horsemen reuniting was a far bigger and better deal as well as being marketed as the main event. This just shouldn’t have gone on last as it just had no momentum at all and the ending was just flat as possible.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade as there are two awesome matches on it and then the rest is just awful. The stars were in the wrong matches which is weird because it allowed the young guys to shine, but it made for an awkward show. The young guys made the show watchable, but that’s not enough to really save it. Watch the Cruiserweight Title and the falls count anywhere and that’s about it. Oh and the Hall/Nash stuff if you’re a history geek.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

This is one of the older reviews meaning it’s much lower in quality.  It’s the best I could do here though.

Bad Blood 2003
Date: June 15, 2003
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Only reason here is I was looking at my list of shows that I had left to go and I figured I might as well just knock this one off of it. So back in 2003 there were a lot of matches on the show to be had, but there simply wasn’t enough time to fit them all in. The solution became to just have Raw and Smackdown only PPVs.

These wound up completely sucking for the simple reason of there were too few matches to fill in an entire three hour show with feuds/matches from one show. Anyway, this is the very first one so the card is fairly packed. We have Nash vs. HHH in what’s considered the worse HIAC match ever and Jericho vs. Goldberg in a match that should have been in WCW but we couldn’t have a heel that mocked Goldberg get crushed by Goldberg but whatever. So anyway let’s get to it.

Austin is feuding with Bischoff and there’s a Redneck Triathlon or something like that tonight. The intro is just a highlight package of every major feud with red tint to it. Oh and it’s an Austin/Bischoff production. The theme song is Headstrong by Trapt so I’m happy on that front.

Dudley Boys vs. Rodney Mack/Christopher Nowitski

See how brilliant this idea was? Where else are you going to get to see jobbers vs. an over the hill tag team in a match no one cares about? Since the answer is Raw, don’t bother answering that. Nowitski tried to make this a racial thing earlier in the night if you can believe that. Teddy Long is the heel manager here.

Mack was supposed to be a big deal but was squashed by Goldberg so there we are. Nowitski accidentally slaps Bubba. Guess what happens. Oh and Chris has a mask on his face from having his nose broken. The Harvard gimmick would have been able to carry him for years had he not gotten hurt.

Rodney Mack was a guy that I never got the entire appeal of. He’s ok, but just ok. After What’s Up hits, Bubba says get the tables but D-Von doesn’t want to. I love that. Nowitski catches Bubba in the face with the mask for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is the epitome of a match that belongs on Raw and not on PPV. It’s 7 minutes long and it’s an angle that no one cares about. How in the world is this worth paying money to see? You could see the problems already. Naturally is ran nearly four years.

We see a clip from Raw where we see them picking the events for the Redneck Triathlon and it’s a pie eating contest, but the Rock’s kind of pie. Event two is a burping contest. Number three would be determined at the PPV if needed.

Redneck Triathlon Event #1: Burping Contest

Austin is doing jumping jacks to warm up. It’s three burps each and the winner is best overall. This is what is being used to fill PPV time people. Austin destroys him of course in the first one. People paid to watch this. Austin of course wins round one. Oh and this was the first 34.95 show I think. This lasts nearly five minutes and the crowd is just popping for it being Austin. This was freaking stupid.

Test vs. Scott Steiner

Winner gets Stacy as Steiner went from main eventing the Rumble to this inside of five months. That’s rather impressive. Stacy gets her own entrance and hates Test. Test uses the old heel tactic of throw the girl in front of Steiner to get the advantage. The crowd is dead again for this as this is match number two both on the show and on the list of matches that belong on Raw. This is where they should have used the In Your House formula.

By taking it down to two hours, not only does it make the matches more well rounded, but it also takes away the bad ones so it’s just the big ones, making the show seem a lot better. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: boring beyond belief with no real drama. Also I love how Stacy is being treated like property here.

The pumphandle slam gets two and ZERO heat. Stacy slaps Test who then kicks Steiner in the face. Man these two have fallen far. This is just mindless filler. Test grabs a chair and when Stacy tries to pull it away she goes down which leads nowhere. A downward spiral wins it for Steiner. Stacy does her exit twice so Scott can see it again.

Rating: D. Again this was just mindless filler to validate themselves being on TV. What was the point to this at all? I get that there’s an angle that ends here, but dang man, this was just freaking stupid. There was zero point to having this on PPV but there was nothing else to put in here. Like I said, you can see the point just falling away immediately.

Bischoff and Austin talk about the second round of the triathlon which is coming up next.  Scratch that as Austin has to pick the woman for whatever the contest is.  The women are all hot but Austin gets to pick the flavor and you can feel Moolah or Mae coming.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Booker T

So back in late 2002, HHH wanted to be undisputed champion of Raw so the US and IC titles were retired for about six months. Austin brought the IC back and Stephanie brought the US back a month later. There was a battle royal at Judgment Day for the belt which Christian cheated to win so this is the rematch. Oh and Booker has a remix now. Oh great.

He’s the hometown boy here so I wouldn’t look for him to win much here. Christian has just cut his hair so he’s finally looking like he does now. Edge is out injured at this point after neck surgery so there we are since both of them are eternally linked. Booker starts out by dominating and then we get into the formula stuff. Oh and we hear a lot about Booker going to jail for armed robbery, which I’m pretty sure is true but I don’t feel like looking it up.

Christian hits a Rock Bottom of all things to get a two. The Scissors Kick and a missile dropkick hit but both get two. After a Spinerooni, Christian tries to leave. It’s more basic stuff which is what this show should be called. The referee says that if he doesn’t make it back by ten he loses the belt. One day that actually needs to happen just to shake things up. A CHEAP belt shot ends this. There’s a guy dressed like Tigger in the front row.

Rating: C-. Somehow this is the best match of the night so far. This also could have been on Raw but instead we get to pay to see it. Booker would get the title the next month on Raw, but he should have gotten it here where people were paying for it. This was another dumb idea as everything else on this show has been.

Nash is getting ready with Jerry Lawler’s music playing. Oh it’s the triathlon. Screw this getting its own title again. It’s pie eating with oral sex implied. Both guys get full entrances to waste even more time. And yeah it’s Moolah and Mae which was about as predictable as it could have possibly been. Oh it’s just Mae.

The reactions are great if nothing else. After kissing her, Bischoff gets kicked in the balls and Mae gives him a Bronco Buster in a thong and stockings. Austin STUNS MAE and forfeits to set up event number three. Beer drinking follows. That’s another 10 minutes plus that I’ll never get back.

Gail Kim and her Matrix themed video is coming.

Kane and Van Dam are ready but have been having problems lately. La Resistance beat up Van Dam but he didn’t make the save. Kane says nothing. The heels say a lot of insults about America. It’s more bland than it sounds.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

You can more or less see the ending from here. The heels are Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree in case you didn’t know. To my complete lack of shock and dismay, this is nothing that couldn’t be on Raw. I mean there is nothing to note here at all. This could be at any house show or Raw but on PPV? Really? The heels are both on the floor and Van Dam dives, naturally hitting all three of them. A double flapjack ends this. It couldn’t have come faster.

Rating: D+. Again, WHY IS THIS ON PPV? That’s the problem with the whole first hour here. I could see an argument for the two title matches, but seriously, none of this has been PPV quality. The matches are ok, but that’s the problem: they’re just ok. Nothing at all here is making me want to watch this show at all and it’s never something I’m going to watch again. I just want to get to the end of this show and forget about it.

We recap Goldberg vs. Jericho who sent Storm to run him over, resulting in a match between Storm and Goldie, which was of course a squash and then he gave up Jericho as the mastermind. No one on the planet thought Jericho had a chance and he didn’t.

Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho

Goldberg is wearing white and black. Words cannot describe how stupid it looks. Jericho had wanted this match in WCW but they decided that it wasn’t a good idea so he just bailed when he could, citing this as one of the major factors. Jericho of course runs like a scared man which I can’t blame him for.

Eventually though, Jericho dodges a spear and Goldberg goes through the security wall. What a coincidence there were no seats in front of it either. Goldberg is bleeding a bit and has a bad shoulder now, so if nothing else they’re trying to give us a reason to think Jericho can win so points for that.

That goes on for a GOOD while which makes sense. Jericho runs the match for the most part which is definitely the best idea here. They botch a moonsault but Goldberg does the smart thing and keeps moving so that it doesn’t look like they botched anything and hits what we would call an FU. There’s a loud Goldberg Sucks chant and the referee goes down.

Dang the fans are behind Jericho here. At least they recognize good wrestling. He gets the Walls of Jericho but leg power gets him out of it. Spear number 2 works a lot better even though it’s a left armed one. After failing to get it once, a jackhammer works the second time for the easy pin.

Rating: C+. Again, this could have been a Raw main event but I can go with this being on PPV. However, another five minutes would have made this WAY better. Jericho was in a rut around this time and he didn’t get out of it until the winter when he turned face to feud with Christian. This was ok but nothing great. Goldberg just didn’t work in the WWE and it showed badly.

We get to see the pick for the last round of the Redneck Triathlon and it’s going to be a sing-off, which is between tobacco spitting and lawn gnome stealing. You can’t make this stuff up. Austin realizes he’s in trouble.

We recap Shawn vs. Flair. Holy crap an actual wrestling match! Flair looks like a cross between Dolph Ziggler and a nightmare. Flair had been asked by HHH to lay down on Raw but Flair couldn’t do it, which Shawn respects. This begins a suck up fest between the two, but Shawn has to know if he can beat him. And then Flair turned heel for the thousandth time in his career by punching Shawn. Shawn says it’s personal now, and you know that means jack but they say it anyway.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Apparently Shawn dominated the 90s and was a bigger star than Flair ever was. Somehow being in the main event for less than two years and tanking buyrates means you dominate. We start out with more or less a chess match with everyone trying to top the other, and of course when I say everyone I mean two people.

In a spot that I really like, Flair goes to the mat for Shawn to jump over him and Shawn stops on a dime and grabs a headlock on the mat. I like that. Flair at least uses psychology by working the knee and we’re in the figure four five minutes into the show. That was quick if nothing else. Flair is dominating for the most part here but we know that the Shawn comeback is coming. It’s the Flair Formula to the letter.

And Shawn hits an enziguri to counter (it means Head Kick of all things). Flair of course gets slammed off the top as Shawn actually sells the knee. Flair counters the kick into a figure four but that’s countered into a small package. Shawn throws on the figure four. Well they’re moving out there so I’ll give them that.

Flair goes up and actually gets the move off (a chop) but Shawn punches him on the way down. For ZERO apparent reason, Shawn sets up a table. The announcers are surprised too. Randy Orton comes down to try to save Flair but gets nailed. Shawn splashes Flair through the table which is called a cross body though it, although to be fair it looked like one more than a splash.

The referee goes down to a low blow, even though the table should have been a DQ. Sweet Chin Music hits but Orton pops up for a chair shot to give Flair the pin.

Rating: B. This was pretty good but the table spot made me scratch my head. This is a hard combination to screw up and they more or less got it right. The ending was fine since both were in Evolution and would have a reason to help each other out. It’s not a great match but it’s by FAR the best match tonight. Flair was getting old very fast though.

Ad for Freddie Blassie’s book.

Bischoff comes out and lip syncs his own song and Austin interrupts him. They actually get into a you were lip syncing vs. was not argument. Bischoff can’t sing at all. Austin proposes another spin and rigs the wheel to land on pig pen fun. Yes, we have a hog pen match. Somehow, this takes seven minutes. If you don’t get what happened, you’re an idiot.

Ad for the Divas softcore video.

The Cell is lowered. I forgot to mention that Foley is referee to try to make this interesting and it continued to fail.

The feud was just that they didn’t like each other and Austin just declared it Hell in a Cell. Oh Foley is referee because everyone else said they wouldn’t do it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash

Yes, this is the main event of a PPV in 2003. The belt it in the ring for no reason other than HHH likes to hold it close I guess. What do you expect here? It’s a Hell in a Cell match. They beat on each other with slow offense and use a lot of weapons. All three bleed and they do this for about twenty minutes. They manage to make a Cell match boring. Seriously Nash, that’s HARD to do.

Oh and HHH uses a screwdriver and a wooden crate. Why was a wooden crate under the ring? Who cares? We get the Mandible Claw if nothing else and Ross says this match is cruel and unusual punishment. You know all the spots that these two are going to do and the ones that Foley will do so figure out what order they go in that makes the match suck the most and you have this match. HHH of course survives the powerbomb and hits the Pedigree a few seconds later for the academic pin. Evolution beats up Foley to end the show.

Rating: D+. Seriously, THEY MADE THE CELL BORING. Do you realize how hard that is to do? This was the time that’s considered HHH’s Reign of Terror on Raw and this match is a great example of it. Really, they messed up the Cell. How do you do that? There was no point to this whole thing other than to make HHH look good and for one of his buddies to get to fight him. This was just awful.

Overall Rating: F. This isn’t a PPV. It’s a Raw with a triple main event. Seriously this show was crap. For one thing it went off at 10:35 which is ten minutes earlier than “3 hour PPVs” normally run. There is a decent Flair vs. Shawn match that could have been good but with 15 minutes what do you expect?

Also, thirty minutes of this was for one running joke which was never funny. You would think that after this disaster Vince would have pulled the plug on it, but no. For FOUR YEARS these things ran and they sucked more each and every time. This is a failure if there ever has been one.

So much for re-signing him.

Also the review will be up late tonight due to unforseen circumstances.