Clash of the Champions 7: Guts and Glory
Date: June 14, 1989
Location: Ritz-Epps Fitness Center, Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

Oh where to begin here. First off (here I guess), this is being held at an army base so the entire crowd is comprised of soldiers. In other words, they are completely and utterly insane. It’s Flag Day and the day that the army was first founded so expect a BIG military theme for this one. This is the build up show for Bash 89, widely considered to be the best WCW/NWA show ever.

Tonight is also the final three matches in the world tag team title tournament. The only other thing of note here is the biggest appearance ever of one of the most hated, complained about and freaking dumbest concepts in the history of professional wrestling. Yep, tonight we see the Ding Dongs. Let’s get to it.

Some army dude tells us that the army is ready to fight.

Funk vs. Steamboat tonight. That sounds pretty awesome.

We don’t know who Hayes’ partner is in the tournament tonight which heavily implies to me that those are your winners.

This is a 3 hour show, making the video just over two hours long. That’s much longer than these usually were.

Some NWA Crew guy stands behind Ross and Caudle looking straight at the camera in a funny moment.

Star Spangled Banner with full military choir. That’s kind of cool.

We see some wrestlers doing some ROTC training. Any chance we could have some, like, wrestling?

We see Missy Hyatt and a more or less jobber named Ranger Ross doing a zipline thing.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dynamic Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace as REALLY annoying surfboarders/skateboarders and no one liked them. The Freebirds beat the Road Warriors and the Dudes beat Jack Victory and Rip Morgan. Jimmy Garvin, an associate of the Freebirds for like six years, is the new partner. Terry Gordy was the original partner of Hayes but dropped out for no apparent reason. He’s fighting later so it’s not like he’s hurt.

Ah apparently Garvin is just there and they’re using the appropriately named Freebird Rule. It’s a good thing the move is named that. It would be awkward if it was named the generic tag team heel rule. Much better this way and what a coincidence too. Hayes and Johnny start us off. The Dudes work over the arm of Garvin and the crowd is red hot. Apparently it would be an upset if an established team beat a new team.

Ross talks about the tournament, the main event, Muta, and the Ding Dong. I can’t wait for that one. The level of wrestling in this match is slipping rapidly. We hear about how many soldiers there are here and how the base is like a city. Hot tag to Johnny which makes me think of the Spirit Squad. How are we only five minutes into this? That doesn’t seem possible. With Shane on the floor a Hayes DDT ends Johnny to send the Birds to the finals.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match here with the ending rarely in doubt. You don’t debut a new member of a team and have them lose to a glorified jobber team that few liked at all. This was a standard match also with nothing special at all going on in it. Nothing horrible though.

Ranger Ross vs. The Terrorist

As I read on a blog I read, what kind of military base lets a man known as THE TERRORIST come in without jumping him? Ross is a generic military character but was a legit paratrooper. The Terrorist is played by dying days of ECW manager Jack Victory. It’s a one minute squash here with Ross winning with a superkick/big boot (it looked awful). This was rather predictable but the crowd loved it so all is fine.

Video on the Road Warriors. They’re awesome don’t you know. So awesome they lost in the first round of the tournament. We get Iron Man though so all is not lost.

Muta comes out for something called a Dragon Shy demonstration. The idea is that Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert has challenged Muta to a Double Jeopardy match, which is where you flip a coin to determine which gimmick is used, in this case Dragon Shy or Coal Miner’s Glove. Gary Hart (underrated heel manager) says Muta wants real competition, not these no name guys (he says Gaijin but I don’t think a lot of readers would get that term. In short it’s not nice).

Muta had spit mist in the eyes of Missy Hyatt who was Gilbert’s girlfriend at the time. He runs down and throws fire at Muta, who is terrified of it apparently. The more famous of the two pulls a jobber in front of him and he gets burned badly. Apparently he’s hurt but hey we’ve got squashes to get to so get him out of here.

George South/Cougar Jay vs. Ding Dongs

PLEASE MAKE IT SHORT! Their music is downright whimsical though. They have bells all over their clothes (full body orange jumpsuits with masks) and a bell in the corner which they ring throughout the entire match. The Ding Dongs are in trouble here vs. generic jobber #2.

We hear about the Great American Bash Series, which is different than what you would be used to. It was actually a big tour and at least one PPV was just a best of show. By 89 this wasn’t the case but I’m not sure about earlier than that. Thesz Press gets two for one of the Ding Dongs. The worst part is that they’re not a particularly bad team. The gimmick is just so freaking stupid.

Power Hour is debuting on Friday night at 10:20. What a great time to start a wrestling show. A combination elbow drop and knee drop gets a pin on generic jobber #1 who is apparently George South. Bob Caudle immediately says “that was horrible” as I don’t think he knew his mic was on.

Rating: N/A. It’s short enough to not be able to grade and it’s just a squash anyway, but this is one of the more famous bad ideas in wrestling as they more or less left after this. Can’t say I blame them as a drunken military crowd booed this. That says a lot.

A United States Representative says thanks for doing this and gee isn’t the American Flag awesome?

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

This would be the Headshrinkers vs. Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane for those unfamiliar. The Express are faces here which is even weirder to see. They beat Bob Orton and Butch Reed while the Swat Team beat Ron Simmons and Ranger Ross. A fan tries to run into the ring during Cornette’s introduction and is caught in one of the fastest reactions I’ve ever seen.

The Swat Team is managed by Dangerously. What kind of a name is Samoan Swat Team anyway? Paul is more or less nothing here but a guy that can talk. He looks like an idiot, even moreso than usual. Cornette swings the tennis racket at him and it’s on early. Almost all Express to start us off. The future Rikishi is in trouble early on. They finally take over on Eaton and we enter the formula.

Suplex on the floor and the Samoans clear the ring. Lane finally comes in (and by that I mean after like 2 minutes) and cleans a few rooms. Down goes the referee, in come the Road Warriors, down go the Samoans, Midnights win.

Rating: D. Total nothing match here that goes like six minutes and ends with a weak ending. Apparently the Samoans cost the Road Warriors a spot in the semi-finals. This just went nowhere at all and was done so fast that nothing could have been interesting in it at all. Bad match.

We see Funk/Flair from the previous PPV, setting up the match at the Bash. Good angle. In short, Funk wants a title shot, Flair says no, Funk half kills him, Bash match made. There you go.

Terry Gordy vs. Steve Williams

Total war to start with both guys beating the tar out of each other in this explosion of the Miracle Violence Connection. Kevin Sullivan had more or less brainwashed Williams and then Williams rebelled, resulting in Sullivan paying his old rival Gordy to take out Williams. For the second time tonight, Ross says he could use a cold Coors Light. Soon after this the turnbuckles would have sponsors, so you know what we had to deal with then.

Williams is the face here and sends Gordy to the floor for more brawling. Surprisingly it’s not a double countout as we head back into the ring for more fighting. Williams hits a decent (all things considered) crossbody for two. And so much for next month as they’re in the Coors Light Corner. Oh dear. Now they brawl up the aisle again and there’s the countout.

Rating: C-. Big physical brawl here but nothing special at all. Williams was always fun to see but this was just to set up a draw which was kind of pointless. LOUD bull chant from the fans so at least they know crap when they see it. Nothing horrible but this just didn’t do anything but fill in time.

Mike Justice vs. Norman the Lunatic

It’s Bastian Booger as an insane asylum patient with Teddy Long as his manager. It’s a 45 second squash and Norman wins with a splash. Nothing else to say here. Oh and hospital orderlies in white coats come out and take him away with Teddy threatening to lock him up if he doesn’t go.

We hear about the triple chance King of the Hill battle royal. It’s a two ring battle royal where there was one at every Bash show with the winners having a big one at the Bash PPV.

The Freebirds have some new rules, which they don’t specify at first. Or at all actually.

Video about Flyin Brian and his groundbreaking stuff.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is more or less the major debut for the Steiners as a team. Sullivan and Rotunda as their opponents here in a VERY long running feud. This is under Australian rules, whatever that means. The Steiners have Missy with them. Scott is in regular tights so you know this is an early appearance for him. Big brawl to start as Rick is way over.

Hey there’s another Coors Light reference and let’s thank some army dudes. Rick vs. Mike now which is the real meat of the feud. Ross says hi to all of the fans in Connecticut where they’re headed soon which might be a slight jab at WWF but nothing big. The commentary is more or less just a commercial for the upcoming tour.

Kind of a slow start here but the fans are into it and it’s nothing bad at all. You can see the superstar in Scott just waiting to get out. The Club throws Scott to the table on the floor and then throws steps at his legs and connects. He’s limping badly now which very well could be legit. Ross and Caudle are FREAKING over this which isn’t exactly overkill here. Gorgeous dropkick by Rotunda puts Scott down.

Hot tag to Rick but Sullivan had the referee. I love that trick as it’s so simple yet it works every time. Mike misses a dropkick and there’s the real hot tag. Rick just massacres both guys until Scott can get back up. Sullivan steals Caudle’s chair and slides it into Mike who hits a suplex on Scott onto the chair on Scott’s already injured back (which was played up throughout the match after landing on the table in a nice mini-story) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good with a basic formula, a nice story and a hot crowd packed together into less than 9 minutes. The Steiners would of course go on to become the most successful tag team in company history but this was more or less their first match that meant anything. Fun stuff here and a fairly good match.

Cornette (looking SKINNY) runs down the Freebirds. He was 27 here which is just weird to imagine as he always seems to be this 41 year old man that rants about everything.

Ross: Let’s hear from the Governor of North Carolina, Jim Martin. Martin: Hello, I’m Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina. So what you’re saying is he’s Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina? He says basic stuff.

TV Title: Sting vs. Bill Irwin

Sting is more or less the hottest thing in the world but they had no idea what they were going to do with him so they threw the TV Title on him and said go be awesome. To say it worked is an understatement as he won the world title at the Bash the next year. Luger won’t come out for commentary as he’s been teasing a heel turn lately. Irwin gives him problems for like a minute and then the Splash ends it with relative ease.

Rating: N/A. Total squash on TV for the TV Champion. What more can you really ask for?

Video on Scott “Gator” Hall. It’s Scott Hall with long curly blonde hair as he goes after alligators in a swamp to a bad 80s song. Sweet goodness that’s out of nowhere.

Ross is at Flair’s house where he’s wearing sunglasses and a neck brace. Well of course he is. This is his first interview or first televised appearance since May when he won the title and got hurt by Funk. He’s in a Lakers blazer which is odd for some reason. Flair says he’s not worried about money as he has enough money to spend in two lifetimes. That’s just comical.

He compares this injury to the plane crash as he contradicts all kinds of history as he says after the crash the doctors said he definitely would wrestle again. Nice one there Naitch. Ross asks about the thirty day title defense rule as it has been five weeks since the injury. Flair more or less says they said screw it, let’s give him another thirty days. The announcement of his future will come on July first. Flair says he’ll get Funk. More or less 6-7 minutes of nothing here.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Finals: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

Is there a reason why the music for the Birds changed from the first match? It’s now Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd which makes sense. Dangerously runs out and blasts Cornette with a tennis racket before we get started. The Express opens the racket and there’s a horseshoe and a chain inside of it. Nicely done.

Basic feeling out period to start us off as they’ve never faced each other before which is rather surprising to me given how the 80s were with the territories and people switching companies very quickly. Garvin beats on Eaton as we’re just kind of slowly building up here. The Birds clear the ring as we waste more time.

Eaton goes to the floor for the second time in a minute as I’d love for this match to like, end. He gets beaten down even more as Lane and his kicks get in for the first time in the match. He gets a DDT on Hayes out of nowhere to bring Eaton back in like an idiot after a long beatdown he just went through. Gordy sneaks in for a WEAK powerbomb to end this with the Birds winning the titles.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which didn’t get going at all. Way too much stalling and wasting time with the Express just doing nothing at all and the Birds just not being that good. This show has been ok but nothing great and this was the same way as that. Weak match.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

Terry is ranked #10 and Steamboat #1. They lock up and go against the ropes so Patrick gets between them although he gets ridden around the ropes. They chop the HECK out of each other and it’s a standoff. SWEET dropkick that hits Funk in the jaw by Ricky. Funk goes to the floor and comes back in for a slugout which Steamboat is lost in.

Funk just punches Steamboat down and looks very evil doing it. He is just such an ugly man and played a natural heel as well as anyone I can think of. Steamboat stands on the top rope for the better part of ever before FINALLY coming off with a huge chop. Then he goes out of character to pick him up and walk nearly a lap around the ring with Funk up in a slam. I like that for some reason.

Funk takes over again as this is a very solid back and forth match. Piledriver hits Steamboat for two which is Funk’s finisher. Down goes the referee and Steamboat hits the floor again. Why does everything have to be about hitting? Funk hits a “running” Piledriver on the floor which is a nice way of saying he took a few steps backwards before hitting it. This gets two as Ross loses it.

Steamboat blocks a top rope splash (???) with knees and takes over a bit again. Gutbuster hits Funk and a top rope chop sets up an enziguri to put Funk outside. Funk grabs the mic and drills Ricky in the head for the DQ. He grabs a chair and looks like he’s about to kill Steamboat but Luger runs in for the save.

Rating: B. Solid match here between a great heel and a great face. This was very back and forth and the ending fit perfectly. Steamboat looked great and so did Funk, who was having a legit resurgence of his career at this point. Neither could win which is how it should be. I liked it and it felt like a major match.

Luger says he has no problems and then drills Steamboat, half killing him with the chair and the Rack. He says here lies your #1 contender. Luger is the second ranked guy and is jealous. Sting comes out to get rid of Luger.

After a break, we have a freaking birthday party for the Army. Not a person in the Army, but for the Army itself. The Ft. Bragg Commander makes a very boring speech and gives WCW a trophy. Oh and the choir sings. This must have been RIVETING for the fans at home. This is your last 10 minutes of the show. They sing Happy Birthday to the Army as I want a small firearm for my head.

Ross and Caudle say nothing of note and the just replay the ending of the wrestling as the credits end us.

Overall Rating: C. Not bad here as a lot of stuff was happening and there’s some decent stuff, but a lot of this was filler as three hours was just too long. A lot of the squashes and military stuff could have been completely cut out and no one would have minded. The Norman match and the Ding Dongs match were just stupid. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but at three hours it’s just too much. Watch only if you’re really quite bored.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Thunder
Date: January 22, 1998
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Lee Marshall

It’s the go home show for Souled Out and things are actually cooking for WCW. We still don’t know anything about the world title situation other than Hall has to fight somebody for the title at SuperBrawl. As for Saturday, it looks like the main event is going to be Hart vs. Flair in a really well built showdown for respect. Tonight we have Giant vs. Hall in the main event which brings two major matches for Saturday together. Let’s get to it.

The announcers tell us that we’ll get an announcement on the world title situation on Saturday as well as an appearance from Roddy Piper.

Scott Steiner vs. Konnan

Scott overpowers him to start and shoves Konnan down to the floor with ease. Back in and Vincent earns his paycheck by tripping Steiner up to give Konnan control. Scott comes right back with a gorilla press and a gorilla press as we’re in squash territory here. The top rope Frankensteiner is loaded up but Buff and Norton hit the ring for the quick DQ.

Rick Steiner and Ray Traylor run out for the save but Scott walks out to pose at Bagwell.

Here’s Nash to say that in 90 minutes, he’s going to be $1.5 million richer. Giant wants Nash more than a lap dance after being at sea for 20 years but Nash isn’t afraid of him at all. Saturday is about the physical torture but tonight is all about the psychological. Good promo here as Nash keeps it simple.

Super Calo/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Silver King/La Parka

This is Lucha Libre rules, meaning you can change with your partner if you go to the floor. Chavo starts out with Silver King and takes over with a quick headscissors on Silver. Everything quickly breaks down with Calo pounding on La Parka but getting caught in a powerslam. Raven comes through the crowd sans Flock as La Parka dives over the top to land on Calo’s stretched out back.

Back in the ring Silver King powerbombs Calo down for two before La Parka comes in for a double enziguri on Calo. La Parka and King allow Calo to make the tag as everything breaks down again. Chavo dives to the floor to take out La Parka as Super Calo hits a top rope hurricanrana on King for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was an entertaining mess with the emphasis on mess. The match didn’t get anywhere near the excitement that these matches are capable of reaching and none of these guys did anything to set themselves apart from the others. La Parka was the only guy in the match who was a big deal at this point but he was barely in the match at all.

Post match La Parka blasts everyone with the chair until Juventud and Lizmark Jr. run out for the save. Psychosis and El Dandy run in as well and it’s a big brawl. Nearly everyone gets to hit a big dive to make up for the so-so match.

Nick Patrick wants to talk about something but Rick Martel walks in behind him. Kidman comes in to yell at Martel for the fight on Nitro. Saturn runs in and throws Martel through a glass door. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Dean Malenko vs. Marty Jannetty

They start with an armbar each with Marty actually taking over on the mat. Dean escapes and goes after Marty’s knee, only to be put in a front facelock. The technical exhibition continues with Dean going after Jannetty’s knee again, only to be countered into a catapult into the corner for two. We hit a chinlock on Dean for a few moments before Malenko fights up with a belly to back suplex.

A regular suplex gets two for Malenko but Marty comes back with a clothesline for two of his own. Jannetty goes after the leg….and now the arm a few seconds later. I guess all that cocaine made the limbs look the same. Dean fights up again but gets caught in a faceplant for two. In a rare botch in a Malenko match, Marty loads up a snapmare but Dean falls like a neckbreaker, making it look more like a Stunner. A few seconds later Marty tries the Rocker Dropper but is countered into the tiger bomb and the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was slow paced and methodical but it wasn’t bad at all. Jannetty didn’t look as good as he did on Nitro but his WCW run isn’t going badly at all. Malenko has been left out in the cold since Starrcade due to Mysterio and Jericho taking the focus on the Cruiserweight Title.

Goldberg vs. Kendall Windham

Goldberg takes him to the mat with a leg lock but Kendall makes a rope. A clothesline gets two for Windham but it’s spear/Jackhammer for the pin. The reactions are getting louder and louder.

Here’s Hall for his survey with WCW taking the night. Hall is looking forward to Saturday so he can shut Zbyszko up once and for all. Cue Louie Spicolli with Larry’s golf clubs which are rapidly bent and broken. Larry comes out and is ready to fight Hall but Spicolli wants a piece of him instead. Zbyszko immediately takes him down with a guillotine choke but has to avoid an elbow drop from Hall. Larry bails and says he’ll have backup at Souled Out.

We get some clips of Piper on Walker Texas Ranger. When Chuck Norris is the best actor ina scene, you know you’re in trouble.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey has a bad knee. Eddie is challenging and charges right at Rey, only to be taken down by an armdrag. A hurricanrana sends Eddie most of the way to the apron as his leg is caught in the apron on the way down. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Rey down for two as it’s all Eddie so far. A brainbuster looks to set up the frog splash but Rey gets up top for a superplex to put both guys down. Eddie is dropkicked out to the floor and Rey hits a dive over the top, reinjuring his knee again in the process. With Eddie down on the floor, Jericho runs to attack Rey for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it was angle advancement anyway. Rey’s knee is very banged up thanks to Jericho’s recent attacks and this match didn’t do it any favors. Eddie is in the same spot that Malenko is in at the moment: just floating around waiting on something to do.

Eddie and Jericho stomp Mysterio down but Eddie is mad at Jericho costing him a match. Benoit sneaks in behind Jericho for their upcoming match as Eddie bails. The look on Jericho’s face when he sees Benoit is priceless.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit sends him into the corner as Dean Malenko and referee Mickie Jay carry Mysterio to the back. Jericho bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho continuing to run but getting caught by a suicide dive. They head back inside and Jericho hits a quick dropkick to take over. A spinebuster looks to set up the Liontamer but Benoit chops his way out of it. Jericho runs some more but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip.

Benoit is taken down by a back elbow for the ARROGANT COVER for two. The Lionsault connects but Jericho waits for the fans to cheer him instead of covering. Instead a superplex gets two on Benoit and it’s off to a chinlock. Benoit fights up with a belly to back suplex followed by a German and a whip to send Jericho into the Tree of Woe. There’s the Crossface but Jericho taps out before the hold is even on. That’s a smart move given his title shot in two days.

Rating: C+. These two have a natural chemistry that few other pairs can rival. The ending shows thinking as well which isn’t something you often get in wrestling. It’s also nice to see actual stories develop and intertwine with each other with all people involved being elevated. It’s like the company is planning for the future or something like that.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan says it’s going to be a big party when he gets the title back on Saturday because he never lost it in the first place. Bischoff and Hogan praise each other and Hogan poses to end things.

Rick Martel vs. Perry Saturn

Martel charges at the ring and runs Saturn over as the bell rings. Saturn is sent to the floor and into the steps for good measure. Back in and Martel pounds on Saturn in the corner but the Flock comes out for a distraction. Martel is crotched on the top rope before getting suplexed down for two. The Flock leaves and Martel misses a charge into the post. Saturn puts on an armbar and then a cross armbreaker but Martel counters into a quickly broken STF.

We take a break and come back with Martel pounding away in the corner but getting caught with a swinging neckbreaker. Saturn gets some quick rollups for two before going to the middle rope. A sunset flip gets two on Rick but he rolls through into the Quebec Crab to make Saturn submit in a hurry.

Rating: C-. Martel has only been back for a few months but I’m starting to buy into him here in WCW. He looks very smooth in the ring and has more than enough experience to back it up. The window stuff from earlier added nothing to this so the fans weren’t caring at all, but they got an ok match out of it.

Post match the Flock runs in but Martel rolls away to let Kidman hit Saturn.

Scott Hall vs. The Giant

Hall gets in Giant’s face and is launched across the ring as he should be. A front chancery gets Hall placed on the top rope and he dives into the bearhug. Giant headbutts Hall down but here are Hogan and Nash to ringside. Nash gets in a cheap shot with some kind of a weapon as Hogan gets in the ring for the DQ in less than two minutes.

Savage tries to intervene but Luger runs out and Racks him. Nash looks at Savage in the Rack down and does nothing about it. Instead Nash comes in and pounds on Giant but Giant doesn’t touch him. Instead Giant goes to the floor, grabs the post, and BREAKS THE RING to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the kind of show Thunder was designed to be: focus on the midcard feuds and have the main event guys do some stuff to close the show. It built up the Souled Out matches that we didn’t get to focus on Monday while giving us some solid action tonight. Good show here and I want to see Souled Out.

Here’s Souled Out if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/06/15/souled-out-1998-redo-one-of-wcws-best-shows-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Souled Out 1998
Date: January 24, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,486
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

We’re a month removed from Starrcade and there’s no world champion at the moment due to the screwy events of Starrcade and the Nitro that followed. WCW has promised an announcement on the title situation tonight instead of an actual match because why have the match when you can drag it out for another month? The main event tonight is Flair vs. Hart in a well built up feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is Bischoff surrounded by candles in what looks like a demonic ceremony as videos play of Nash vs. Giant. Bischoff says he’s looking to buy more souls because the devil hath no fury like Souled Out. It’s remarkable how much better these videos were back in the 90s than the generic ones we see today.

The announcers preview the main events. The set is as basic as you can get but unique at the same time: it’s just a stand alone video screen and the wrestlers walk out from behind it. It’s a cool set up.

Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo/Lizmark Jr./Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. La Parka/Psychosis/Silver King/El Dandy

This is under lucha libre rules, meaning going to the floor is the same as a tag. These matches are always insane so bear with me when things get nuts. Calo and Psychosis get things going with Calo armdragging him to the floor. No one replaces Psychosis so he comes back in to chop Calo down and drops an elbow for no cover. Calo climbs Psychosis’ chest in the corner and powerbombs him down for two before it’s off to Lizmark vs. Silver King. King misses a dropkick in the corner and Lizmark backflips away.

A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two for Lizmark but King comes right back with a running DDT. Off to El Dandy vs. Chavo with Guerrero monkey flipping Dandy from the corner before being taken down by a backdrop. A clothesline puts both guys on the floor and it’s off to La Parka vs. Juvy who both dive at the guys on the floor. They fight on the apron for a bit before Juvy’s springboard is caught in mid air by La Parka. The skeleton man (La Parka) struts around and sits Juvy in Guerrera’s corner before being pounded by Juvy’s partners.

Guerrera hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to take La Parka to the floor. Lizmark comes in with a top rope standing Lionsault for two on Psychosis but El Dandy comes in without a tag. Things are quickly breaking down with Calo getting two off a top rope headscissors on Dandy. Silver King comes in with a somersault legdrop for two on Calo before Juvy walks in and botches a rana attempt. King’s powerbomb is broken up and Juvy’s 450 connects for two as La Parka makes the save.

Psychosis hits the guillotine legdrop on Chavo for two before La Parka comes in to throw Chavo to the floor. El Dandy dropkicks Calo to the floor but Silver King completely misses his dive. Calo pops up to the top rope to dive onto King before almost everyone dives onto everyone else. Chavo and Psychosis are left alone in the ring with Guerrero hitting a quick tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s an idea that has worked time after time and this was no exception: take a bunch of luchadores and let them go nuts for ten minutes to open the show. Everyone looked great out there and the dive sequence at the end was excellent with all of the guys hitting their spots almost perfectly. This was the perfect choice for an opener and the crowd is hot right off the bat.

Post match La Parka cleans house with the chair, including his own teammates, sending the audience into a frenzy.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.

Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.

Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.

Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.

Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.

Post match Kidman comes out for the save but Dean Malenko runs out to put him in the Cloverleaf. The rest of the Flock comes in but Dean and Chris fight them off.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey is defending after winning the title nine days earlier. Jericho had injured Rey a few days before the title shot before earning a title shot later to set this up. The fans chant JERICHO SUCKS and Chris is stunned. Jericho makes fun of Rey for being short so the champion armdrags him down. A hard clothesline gives Jericho control but Rey comes hooks a slingshot rana to send Jericho to the outside. Rey’s knee goes out while Jericho is on the floor and things slow down.

Jericho charges back in but gets caught in a chinlock followed by a victory roll for two but Rey’s knee goes out again. A running hair takedown puts Chris down but a hurricanrana attempt is countered into a modified hot shot to put Rey down again. Jericho hits a double underhook powerbomb (called a shoulder breaker by Tony) on the floor followed by a running knee to the face. Why isn’t he going for the knee?

Back in and Jericho sends the knee into the buckle before toying with Rey a bit. Rey fights back with the good knee and manages a jumping Killswitch for two. Jericho is sent to the apron and a baseball slide takes out the knee, sending Jericho face first into the apron. A big flip dive over the top takes Jericho down again but the knee is damaged even worse. As they come back in, Jericho breaks up a springboard attempt and Rey’s knee is hurt again. He tries a springboard hurricanrana but Jericho catches him in the air and puts on the Liontamer for the tap out and the title.

Rating: C+. The match was about Rey’s bad knee with Jericho toying with him the entire time until the end. At the end of the day there wasn’t much Rey could do on one leg and Jericho played it perfectly. This made Jericho look like a goofy killer which is perfect for his character at the time.

Post match Jericho says the fans must really like him before kicking Rey’s knee out. The leg is crushed between a toolbox and the steel steps to put him out for a LONG time, as in the next six months.

Here’s JJ Dillon with the world title. He talks about the big mess in the last month and how he’s tried to come up with the best answer. Dillon brings out Roddy Piper for the first time since Halloween Havoc. Roddy talks about nothing of note before bringing out Sting, Hall and Hogan for the big announcement. Piper says that Hall earned his world title shot, but since there’s no world champion, Hall has to take a back seat for the time being.

As for Hogan, he’s a three time world champion and Piper would love to put the title around his waist……NOT! Seriously that’s what Piper said. The solution to all the problems over the belt: a rematch between Hogan and Sting at Super Brawl. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and Hall walks away with a disgusted look on his face. Somehow this took over twelve minutes.

TV Title: Rick Martel vs. Booker T

Booker is defending and this is face vs. face. Martel saved Booker from some beatdowns and was granted a title shot as a thank you. Booker takes him by the arm to start before running Martel over with a shoulder block. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Rick and it’s a stalemate. They trade hammerlocks until Booker gets two off a clothesline and hooks an armbar. The champion misses an elbow but spins up for a side kick for two.

Back to the armbar but Martel fights up with a dropkick for two. Booker comes back with a superkick for two before hooking the third armbar. Rick is accidentally kicked low and Martel is angry. He goes nuts on Booker with right hands and chops before hooking a chinlock. Rick gets two off a spinebuster and goes to work on Booker’s back.

Off to a reverse chinlock on Booker despite his leg being under the bottom rope. Back up and Booker hits a flying forearm smash but Rick holds the rope to avoid a dropkick. The Quebec Crab goes on but Booker is right next to the ropes. The ax kick sets up the Harlem Hangover to retain the title for Booker.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match with an old school style to it. There was a basic story being told with both guys playing mental chess to outwit the other. Martel’s comeback is very impressive as he looks like he hasn’t missed a step in all the years he’s been gone. The ending was a little abrupt but this was a very good match for the most part.

Post match Martel takes the belt from the referee but hands it back to Booker and raises his hand. Booker shakes Martel’s hand in a display of mutual respect. Booker leaves and Saturn runs in to beat down Martel after their altercations on Raw and Nitro.

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

These two have a long history dating back to the AWA in the 80s and it’s picked up here in a battle of tradition vs. disrespect. Hall has his lackey Louie Spicolli with him. Larry had promised he wouldn’t come to the ring alone and points to Dusty Rhodes to be his corner man. Scott’s toothpick is swatted out of the air and Larry takes him to the mat. Hall goes after the arm as Tony makes fun of Heenan for thinking Larry was bringing Ted DiBiase to the ring with him. That’s hardly a ridiculous guess.

Larry offers a test of strength but gets Hall’s arms moving so fast that he slaps Scott in the face. Hall gets suckered into an abdominal stretch as Dusty plays cheerleader. Larry goes for a front chancery but Hall counters with a right hand to the face. Hall punches Larry down in the corner before tying up the legs like an STF but putting on an armbar instead.

A clothesline puts Larry down as the fans are all over Hall. The fallaway slam puts Larry down but he backdrops out of the Outsider’s Edge. Zbyszko pounds away in the corner but accidentally spin kicks the referee down. In a nice move, Larry plays possum to catch Hall in the front chancery but Spicolli runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty good considering it was Larry’s second match in several years. Hall had to tone it down to let Zbyszko keep up with him but the match was hardly a disaster. It’s not a great match on its own but the long story building up to it makes the payoff a bit better. Not much but some.

Post match Dusty elbows Spicolli before accidentally hitting Larry. Hall points at Dusty who opens his shirt to reveal the NWO colors. Dusty drops some elbows and talks trash as the announcers are disgusted. This is one of those ideas that was supposed to be a big deal but most people didn’t care.

Steiner Brothers/Ray Traylor vs. Buff Bagwell/Konnan/Scott Norton

Tony is upset and doesn’t want to call the match so Mike Tenay joins commentary. For the sake of clarity, Scott Steiner will be the only person referred to as Scott. Rick and Bagwell get things going with Bagwell imitating the dog bark. He tries to take Rick to the mat but bails to the corner when the former collegiate wrestler is ready to go. Rick poses at Buff in the corner for a quick laugh. Some suplexes put Buff down and it’s off to Traylor.

Rick and Traylor start tagging in and out pretty quickly while leaving Scott on the apron. The idea is that Scott hasn’t been tagging out during their recent matches so his partners aren’t letting him in at all. Traylor gets caught in the wrong corner and it’s off to Norton for some standing splashes. Konnan gets in a cheap shot to knock Traylor into a powerslam for no cover. Tony is back to whatever you call normal for him as the NWO double teams Traylor.

Norton and Traylor hit a double clothesline and it’s back to Rick. The announcers say that it’s surprising that Scott didn’t get the tag, even though Traylor fell into Rick as he was much closer. Tony tries to defend the bored crowd as being stunned by Dusty’s actions. The NWO takes Rick down as Scott is now standing on the same side of the apron as Traylor to get a tag.

Norton slams Rick and it’s off to a chinlock from Bagwell. Konnan comes in for a leg lock as this match is dragging badly. Bagwell and Konnan double team Rick until Traylor makes the save, allowing for a tag from both of Rick’s partners at once. Everything breaks down and Scott hits a dragon suplex and the Screwdriver on Konnan for the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and boring and not much else. The idea of Scott being left out in the cold was fine but in the end it wound up meaning nothing at all. The problem for the Steiners was they had no one to challenge them with the Outsiders feud being done to death so their time as a tag team was long since over.

Post match Scott and Bagwell have an unheard chat and a pose down. Scott leaves on his own.

The Giant vs. Kevin Nash

Bischoff and Hogan come out with Nash. This is a match that was supposed to happen at Starrcade but Nash “hurt his knee”, allegedly over not wanting to job. Both guys had to put up $1.5 million as a bond with Nash guaranteeing to appear and Giant promising not to attack Nash before the match. Giant shoves Nash back and picks him up for a pretty good looking belly to back suplex. Nash gets crushed back into the corner and choked down on the mat as this is one sided so far.

Kevin bails to the floor for a meeting with Hogan before hitting a running clothesline in the corner. Giant reverses an Irish whip and a big boot puts Nash down again. Nash actually leapfrogs over Giant before kicking him in the face to not much success. Giant is punched to the floor and Nash DIVES over the top rope, only to be caught in mid air by the bigger man. Giant rams him into the steps but Hogan blasts him in the back with a chair to give Nash a big advantage.

Back in and Nash pounds away, only to have Giant shrug the offense off before kicking Nash in the face to get himself a breather. Back up and Nash pounds away in the corner, only to be caught in an atomic drop. Giant clotheslines him down a few times and hits a big boot with a point to Hogan. Bischoff distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to throw Nash some hot coffee. Giant is blinded by the liquid and Nash delivers a famously botched powerbomb, dropping Giant on the top of his head for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was better than expected but the ending is the only thing that people remember is the ending. It’s so odd to see Nash doing stuff like dives over the top rope and leapfrogs but he didn’t look all that awkward. The interesting thing to me though: allegedly Nash was booked to do the job at Starrcade, then screwed over the fans and got to win the match once it happened. That’s quite the reward.

Giant is looked at for a good while.

Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart

This is your basic battle for respect. Bret has a column in the Calgary Sun newspaper and said that he was better than Flair. That wasn’t cool with Ric and we had a main event. This is Bret’s in ring debut for WCW. Feeling out process to start until Bret takes over with a headlock. Flair reverses into one of his own and runs Bret over with a shoulder as we’re still in first gear.

Bret grabs a Figure Four of all things but Flair is almost immediately in the ropes. A suplex gets two for Hart and it’s chinlock time. Flair fights up but loses a battle of top wristlocks, allowing Bret to take him back down with an armbar. Bret slaps him out to the floor and Flair takes a breather. Back in and Hart puts on the headlock again to keep Flair at a slow pace. Flair fights up and pounds away in the corner and suplexes his way out of a quick sleeper.

Ric has the referee check the time so he can hit Bret low like only Naitch can. A knee drop gets two and it’s off to a chinlock on Hart. Back up and they slug it out until Bret grabs a neckbreaker to put both guys down. Hart gets two off a bulldog and it’s time to go for the leg. He cannonballs down onto the knee and loads up the Figure Four around the post, only to have Flair kick him back into the barricade. Back in and it’s Ric’s turn to go after the knee with the knee crusher and a few pulls on the leg.

The Figure Four is countered into a small package by Bret but now the Figure Four works for Flair. Bret finally turns it over to escape before slamming Ric off the top. Bret comes right back with a Russian legsweep and takes down his straps so Flair can chop him even harder. The Five Moves of Doom set up a superplex which sets up the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but it wasn’t going to be able to live up to the hype. It’s a great debut for Bret and good proof that he still has it with an ending that makes sense. The match was all about respect and Bret won the match with pure wrestling skill and a submission hold. That’s the right choice.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Yeah this is the main event instead of Flair vs. Hart. This is a rematch from the night after Starrcade which wasn’t a big deal at all. Savage bails to the floor to start and the stalling is already rolling. Luger is dropped throat first across the barricade for two back inside. A suplex gets two on Luger as this is really basic stuff so far. Savage chokes away and Liz gets in some of her own.

Luger fights out of the corner but has to deal with Liz again. He finally goes after her but the trap works to perfection with Savage getting in another cheap shot. They head into the crowd with Luger taking over as this match drags on. Back in and Luger hits the steel forearm as Hall and Hogan come to ringside. Savage is sent into Hall and Luger throws him into the Rack for the fast submission.

Rating: D-. This would have been a bad match on Nitro and it’s even worse on a pay per view. These guys had no business having the main event slot on this show as the match was treated like a midcard match for weeks setting up the show. Nothing to see here at all and a very bad choice to end the show.

The NWO beats Savage down until Sting makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is one of the best WCW PPVs ever produced with four good to great matches and only two that weren’t at least good. The main event is a stupid choice but I’m guessing Hogan had to be in the final segment so it had to go on last. Definitely check out Benoit vs. Raven for a great fight if you don’t have three hours to watch the whole thing, but if you do have the time the whole show is worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the heck out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: June 14, 2013
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Payback tonight so hopefully we can get to some more interesting stuff soon after this. The main story tonight is the continued rise of Daniel Bryan in his war against the Shield. Other than that Dolph Ziggler is back and will be in the ring on Sunday, meaning we may get a warmup match for him tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on Ziggler returning in a tag match with Langston to face Jericho and Del Rio. We also focus on Shield vs. HELL NO/Orton in a six man tag tonight.

Here’s an upset Daniel Bryan to open the show. If you had asked him when he debuted in the WWE if he would be world champion, he would have said YES. If you had asked him if he would lose the belt in 18 seconds, the answer would be NO. YES he could win the tag titles with anyone, but NO he didn’t think he’d spend nine months teaming with Kane. Either way, HELL NO is one of the best tag teams in WWE history, so Bryan asks kane to come out here.

Kane says all he cares about is the six man tag tonight. Bryan thinks they need to get everything out in the open because the last nine months were awesome. They’ve become a better team and better friends over the last few months, but on Sunday they’re not going to be teaming together. After that, they’re not going to be a team anymore because Bryan is going to win the tag titles with Randy Orton to make Team RK-NO!

Kane doesn’t see why Bryan is getting this excited because no one can beat the Shield and Bryan and Orton can’t get along. Bryan says he’ll prove he isn’t the weak link because he and Randy will do something that HELL NO could never do. Kane asks if he’s the weak link but Bryan won’t answer. He finally admits that Kane is the weak link and is grabbed around the throat. Cue Orton to keep Kane from killing his partner. If Kane chokeslams Bryan then it’s going to cause an RKO.

Bryan gets mad at Orton for meddling in his business but Orton says he’s just helping his partner. Kane goes to leave so Bryan says go run off like you always do. All three are about to fight when Shield shows up on screen and tells them to keep fighting. They’d be fighting too if the Shield had beaten them up for six months. Ambrose asks if they believe in the Shield after every super team has been beaten. Orton and HELL NO argues a bit more in the ring.

Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro gets the jobber entrance in case there were a few people that thought he had a chance. Before the match Sandow comes out to say that he’s already humiliated Sheamus physically and intellectually, so Sunday will be Sheamus’ Irish wake. Cesaro takes Sheamus into the corner and slaps him in the face before hiding on the floor. Back in and Sheamus pounds on him in the corner before taking him down with a clothesline. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two on Antonio as Zeb Colter rants on the WWE App.

Cesaro comes back with the gutwrench suplex and a big forearm sends Sheamus to the floor. Sheamus catches a diving Cesaro coming off the apron and rams him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus getting two off a backbreaker before they head to floor. Cesaro rams him into the steps before hooking a chinlock back inside. Sheamus fights up and hits some running forearms, only to be taken down by a European uppercut for two.

A double stomp to the chest gets two for Antonio but Sheamus sends him to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest. The Irish Curse gets two back inside but Cesaro comes back with the modified Angle Slam (looked more like an AA here) for two. Cesaro shoves Sheamus into the corner but the Celt comes out with the Brogue Kick for the pin at 7:26 shown of 10:56.

Rating: C. Cesaro has the same problem that Rhodes, Sandow or almost anyone else that faces Sheamus runs into: Sheamus hardly ever loses so it’s hard to get into the matches as a result. The Brogue Kick out of the corner looked good but it’s supposed to set up a match on Sunday that no one cares to see.

Post match Sandow jumps Sheamus from behind and lays him out.

The Wyatt Family is still coming.

CM Punk is returning on Sunday.

Teddy Long plugs Hardee’s for sponsoring the show tonight. Ziggler and company come in and make fun of Teddy for his poor handling of Smackdown. Langston steals the burger.

Great Khali vs. Heath Slater

McIntyre is in different attire tonight. Khali pounds away to start but has to swat away the other Band members. Slater gets in some shots in the corner but gets caught with the big chop. Khali has to go after the other Band members again, allowing Slater to hit a DDT for the pin at 2:20.

Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston

Del Rio wants to start with Ziggler but gets Langston instead. Big E. takes him into the corner and pounds away with shoulder blocks, only to have Del Rio come back with a running enziguri. Off to Jericho to pound away on the big man and hit an enziguri of his own. Langston takes him down and brings in the world champion for the first time in over a month. Dolph drops an elbow drop for two and brings in Langston to face Del Rio. A backstabber puts Big E. down and it’s back to Dolph who immediately runs away.

We take a break and come back with Jericho sending Langston into the steps. AJ interferes with a slap to Chris’ face, allowing Langston to run Jericho over. Back in and Ziggler drops Jericho with a neckbreaker for two. Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and it’s hot tag off to Alberto. Everything breaks down Langston runs Alberto over. A dropkick puts Alberto down but he rolls up Ziggler for the pin at 8:10 shown of 11:40.

Rating: C+. This was a fine return for Ziggler but the feud was built up enough for Sunday without having Ziggler lose in his comeback match. I get the idea of Del Rio pinning the champion, but he didn’t need to do it. Jericho was just kind of there but he’s perfect for filling in a spot like this.

We recap the opening segment.

Jericho says he’s going to be ready for Punk on Sunday and goes over his history in Chicago. Heyman comes in and says that Jericho can claim to be the best in the world until Punk pins him or makes him tap out at Payback.

Video on Kaitlyn’s secret admirer being revealed on Monday.

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Kaitlyn goes right at her and pounds away before the bell. The referee tries to pull her off and takes a quick beating as well. Aksana finally runs away so no match.

Recap of Ryback vs. Cena over the last few weeks with a focus on the events of Raw.

Curtis Axel vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title of course. Before the match, Barrett wants to have a businessman to businessman with Heyman. He doesn’t know why this match is happening as he could injure Axel on Sunday, thereby taking away his title shot. Wouldn’t it make sense to save this until Sunday? Cue Miz to say really a lot and make some thinly veiled gay jokes. Barrett pounds away to start but gets caught by a dropkick for two. They head to the floor where Axel blasts Miz in the face for no apparent reason. As they come back in, Axel hits a horrible looking McGillicutter for the pin at 2:05.

Post match Miz lays out Axel.

Video on the Wyatt Family with Bray quoting the Bible and talking about the riddles of your mind.

Shield vs. HELL NO/Randy Orton

Rollins starts with Bryan and pounds him down into the corner, only to have Bryan come back with kicks to the chest of his own. Kane comes in with a low dropkick and suplex for two each. Off to Orton for some headbutts to Ambrose in the corner before it’s back to Bryan. Rollins comes in and fires off elbows to the head before Ambrose gets the tag for a dragon sleeper. Bryan hits some knees to the head and one to the ribs to escape before bringing Orton back in to clean house.

Ambrose and Rollins break up the Elevated DDT before Rollins hits an enziguri for two. We take a break and come back with Orton being elbowed down for two. It’s back to Reigns who pounds on Orton’s head but gets caught in the Orton backbreaker to give Randy a breather. Reigns misses a charge into the post and it’s off to Kane vs. Ambrose with the big man getting two off a side slam.

Kane misses the top rope clothesline and stumbled into the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel hits the springboard missile dropkick on Ambrose and gives Reigns and Rollins a dropkick each. FLYING GOAT puts the tag champions and Rollins takes a pair of dropkicks in the corner for two. Bryan kicks the tag champions down again but can only get two on Seth.

Ambrose delays the swan dive and allows Rollins to roll away at the last minute. Kane and Ambrose go to the floor but Reigns spears Orton down. Kane avoids a spear from Roman and chokeslams Dean onto Reigns on the floor. Rollins hits the buckle bomb but Kane shoves him off the top into the RKO. Bryan throws on the NO Lock and THEY DID IT! Rollins taps out at 13:48 and the Shield loses for the first time ever.

Rating: B+. The ending was INSANE and a great bit of storytelling as HELL NO and Orton finally learned from their past mistakes and made the adjustments to beat the Shield. That is a huge win for Bryan as he is looking more and more like a star every day. They had to lose eventually and while I’d question doing it on Smackdown, the moment was awesome and the place went nuts at the ending.

Lillian announces it as the first time the Shield has ever lost a six man tag as the winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is the kind of wrestling centered show that Smackdown needs to be. Tonight was about longer matches which built up the matches on Sunday. I’m not sure on having Shield lose here, but it certainly launches Bryan up the charts and gives him his biggest win in a very long time. Payback is going to do horrible numbers due to the lame build, but tonight was a good show.

Results

Sheamus b. Antonio Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Heath Slater b. Great Khali – DDT

Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston

Curtis Axel b. Wade Barrettl – McGillicutter

HELL NO/Randy Orton b. Shield – NO Lock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

NXT
Date: June 12, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Tony Dawson

It’s a big week here on NXT with Bo Dallas finally getting his title shot against Big E. Langston. Last week Langston sounded as serious as he ever has in NXT and the match was well set up. Dallas however still comes off as a lame imitation of a good heel rather than someone we have a reason to dislike. Other than that we should get another Women’s Title tournament match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the battle royal which earned Dallas his title shot.

Welcome Home.

Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is a rematch from Zayn’s debut three weeks ago when he beat Curt Hawkins and Antonio Cesaro in one night. Cesaro charges to the ring and runs Zayn over with a clothesline. They head to the floor with Sami being sent into the barricade before the bell. Sami says he can go so Cesaro hits a running European uppercut for two as the match officially begins. Zayn springboards off the bottom rope to jump over Antonio but Cesaro spinebusts him right back down to stop the comeback.

Sami fights out of a chinlock and gets two off a leg lariat but Cesaro takes over with some HARD chops in the corner. Back up and Zayn’s leapfrog is countered into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as we take a break. We come back with Cesaro hitting a double stomp to the ribs for a series of two counts before stomping on Zayn’s fingers. Back to the chinlock for an extended period before Zayn fights up with a spinning sit out belly to back suplex into a powerbomb. A big European uppercut and the gutwrench suplex get two each for Cesaro and the frustration is setting in.

Cesaro pounds away in the corner but Zayn hooks a bodyscissors to catch Cesaro off guard. A headscissors sends Antonio to the floor and Sami hits a big flip dive over the top to take both guys down. Back in and Zayn dives off the top into another uppercut for two. Cesaro looks for the Neutralizer but Sami hits a running sunset bomb for two. Zayn tries the same thing he used to win the first time by rolling through a suplex into a cradle but Cesaro kicks out at two. Cesaro hooks a hard standing chinlock which is enough to set up the Neutralizer for the pin on Zayn at 10:00 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B. This was a solid back and forth match which told a good story. Zayn was trying every speed move he could but Cesaro was too strong and too skilled to get caught off guard a second time, which makes both guys look good. A serious Antonio like this could be a big deal in WWE if he wasn’t fed to every top star on the roster so often. Zayn continues to look good as well.

Baron Corbin/Travis Tyler vs. Scott Dawson/Garrett Dylan

Sylvester LeFort introduces Dawson and Dylan and again is far more interesting than the team. Dawson and Tyler start things off with Tyler grabbing a headlock. Scott takes it to the corner and brings in Dylan to stomp on Travis in the corner. Dawson and Dylan tag in and out to pound on Tyler with both guys slamming the back of Tyler’s head into the mat.

The beating continues with Dawson dropping a leg and kicking at Tyler’s back. Tyler finally gets in a kick to the face and makes the tag off to Corbin who cleans a few rooms of the house. Corbin hits the ropes and walks into a spinebuster from Dawson followed by a middle rope ax handle to the face from Dylan (the combination is called Southern Pride) for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: D+. Dawson and Dylan aren’t interesting but their in ring work isn’t horrible. They’re kind of a throwback team reminiscent of the Andersons in the 80s. The problem though is there’s no reason to care about them. All we’ve been told is they’re from a trailer park in the south. In other words, they’re a slightly better Cade and Murdoch, which doesn’t make them anything to care about.

NXT Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Bayley vs. Alicia Fox

Bayley is innocent enough to offer a handshake but Alicia says no. Instead Bayley hugs Alicia to freak her out and earn Bayley a whip into the corner. A quick northern lights suplex gets two for Fox and it’s off to a chinlock. Fox takes her into the corner for a slap and Bayley goes NUTS, taking Fox down with a bunch of clotheslines and a knee drop for two. An exploder suplex gets two on Alicia but she pops back up and hits an ax kick to pin Bayley at 3:26.

Rating: D+. Bayley looked good and Fox was her usual self, meaning this wasn’t much to look at. It does help to have a former Divas Champion move on in the tournament as the eventual winner will look better having beaten a top level Diva. Not the best match in the world but it did its job well enough.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Paige

Alicia Fox

Sasha Banks

Summer Rae

Emma

Aksana

We recap Dallas winning the battle royal to earn his title shot tonight.

NXT Title: Big E. Langston vs. Bo Dallas

Langston easily throws Dallas down before leapfrogging over Dallas (you read that right) and running him over with a shoulder. Bo goes after the leg and is immediately booed out of the building. The champion is sent to the floor but comes back in to throw Dallas into the corner to take over. Langston hits five hard shots to Dallas’ ribs as this is one sided so far. A big splash hits Dallas and he rolls out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Langston tells Bo what a bad decision this was for him. Another splash misses and Bo fires off some clotheslines to little effect. Big E. charges into a knee in the corner and Dallas runs the corner into a bulldog for two. Langston comes back with a belly to belly and looks to be perfectly fine. Five knees to the chest have Dallas in trouble and Langston runs him over for good measure. Dallas blocks the Big Ending and sends Langston into an exposed turnbuckle two times. That and a belly to belly suplex gives him the belt at 7:46.

Rating: C-. The match was basically a squash for Langston with a surprise ending. I have no idea what WWE sees in him, but Bo Dallas is the least interesting guy being pushed to the top of a promotion that I’ve seen in a very long time. He’s neither a dominating nor a convincing heel and the fans absolutely hate him. His arrogant attitude due to being on the main show a few times doesn’t hold up either as several people on NXT have been around longer than he has. This didn’t work and wasn’t the best way of getting the title off of Langston.

Dallas says he’s going to Disney World to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This episode didn’t do much for me. The opening match was great but everything after that was lame. Dawson, Dylan aren’t guys that show promise but they’re being pushed pretty hard. Langston will likely get a rematch but the shine is off of him now. What WWE sees in Dallas is beyond me, but they’re going to have to push him hard as a heel in a hurry unless they want the fans to ruin every segment he’s in.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Sami Zayn – Neutralizer

Garrett Dylan/Scott Dawson b. Baron Corbin/Travis Tyler – Southern Pride to Corbin

Alicia Fox b. Bayley – Ax Kick

Bo Dallas b. Big E. Langston – Belly to belly suplex

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 13, 2013
Location: Gwinett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Atlanta and tonight we get to find out who will be the twelve men in the BFG Series. We’ve already found out three of them but tonight the field will be completely revealed. Other than that we’re likely to hear more about Brooke Hogan not letting her dad hit Bully with a hammer last week. Let’s get to it.

After a recap of the events of last week, here’s Hulk to open the show. He talks about how awesome it is to be in Atlanta before talking about nearly murdering Bully Ray last week. It was such a horrible moment last week that only an act of God kept him from doing something very bad. He’s even asked Brooke Hogan to stay home tonight because of how intense things have been.

As for tonight, it’s the BFG Series Selection Show. Three people (Joe, Jay Bradley and Hernandez) are already in and we’ll add the previous two winners (Hardy and Roode) to the field as well. Hogan brings out Jeff Hardy who says he’s so tired of hammers that he’s going to win the BFG Series and then beat Ray for the world title in San Diego.

This brings out Bobby Roode to talk about being the longest reigning champion in Impact Wrestling history and how he’s going to win his second BFG Series to win the world title back. Hogan says that next week is Open Fight Night and the fans get to vote for which of these two get to pick which of these two get to make the first call out. Roode says he’s going to call out Hardy next week but Hardy wants to go right now.

Instead here are Aces and 8’s with something to say. Ray wants to know why any of this matters, because no matter who goes on to Bound For Glory because they get to lose to him. Hogan wants to know why the bikers aren’t in the Series and Ray says that’s just fine. Ray sends in Bischoff and Brisco to fight Hardy and Roode which goes about as well as you would expect. Roode jumps Hardy from behind and bails before he catches a beating.

Bad Influence is ready for the tag team qualifying match tonight and make fun of Storm for having yet another partner. Daniels plays the piano and that’s about it.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Gunner/James Storm vs. Bad Influence

Both members of the winning team qualify. Storm suplexes Daniels down to start and drops a knee for two. Off to Gunner vs. Kaz with the tattooed man throwing Kaz around with ease. Daniels finally starts cheating to take Gunner down, allowing Kaz to hit a springboard legdrop to the back of the head for two. Bad Influence hits a few kicks to the chest but Gunner runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Back to Storm who gets two on Kaz off an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Gunner is sent to the floor but Storm hits a Backstabber on Daniels and Closing Time on Kaz. With everything going nuts, Kaz distracts the referee so Daniels can blast Storm in the head with a title belt, giving Kazarian the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s clear that the tag titles are going nowhere again. At least the tag team champions didn’t lose clean in under five minutes. The Series needs heels though so what better way to have these two get into the Series? Well they could have had them beat ANY other two faces but that wouldn’t be impressive I guess.

Crimson is back with a modified look. He won’t say what he’s doing here for the first time in 12 months.

Velvet has a present for Mickie James inside an envelope.

Here’s Crimson to talk about being undefeated for 470 days and then being gone for 12 months. Tonight he can get into the BFG Series and all he has to do is beat Joseph Park.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Joseph Park vs. Crimson

Crimson runs Park over with some clotheslines for two before we hit the cravate. Some knees to Park’s face set up a neckbreaker for no cover as Crimson is bragging a bit too much. Park is sent into the corner but Crimson misses a charge, allowing Park to roll him up for the pin at 2:40.

Mickie is ready for Velvet.

Here’s velvet to clear the air with Mickie. She calls out the champion and hands her the contents of the envelope: medical clearance for the rematch. Mickie says that the release is dated yesterday but Velvet’s knee is hurt today, so Mickie attacks the knee and puts it in a leg lock until referees make the save.

Matt Morgan says he’ll win his match because Sting couldn’t beat him.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Kenny King vs. Matt Morgan vs. Rob Terry vs. Magnus

One fall to a finish. Morgan and King start but King immediately tags out to Terry. King distracts Terry so Morgan can take over with the Nash choke in the corner. A big boot to the head puts Terry down but King tags himself in. King hits a springboard ax handle to Terry’s back but the big man launches King into the air and down to the mat. Off to Magnus who takes down the two big guys and drops King with a brainbuster. The top rope elbow gets two on King as Morgan makes the save and everything breaks down. Morgan kicks Terry in the face but Magnus hits a Michinoku Driver on King for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: C-. Magnus is a good choice to go into the Series as he is constantly pushed as the next big thing in TNA. The problem is Morgan has been in that role for years as well and never gets to go anywhere as a result. The winner was surprising though so at least it wasn’t a waste of time.

Eric Young is going to sneak into the BFG Series by beating Aries. His first step: using the rest room.

Video on Jackson’s arrival getting media coverage.

Here’s Sting for the first time since Slammiversary. He talks about the great deception by Bully Ray setting up Sting’s one title shot at Slammiversary. Sting failed there because he couldn’t survive the waves of Aces and 8’s that Ray threw at him. While Sting was fighting them off, no one came out to help him but that’s ok. Sting says Aces and 8’s are just like family. He repeats the word family and says that he has to go to a place that he never thought he’d have to go again. Sting has to create a family that he can trust: the new Main Event Mafia.

Video on Eric Young’s fishing show and a brief reunion with ODB.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Austin Aries vs. Eric Young

Aries immediately takes Eric to the mat and rides him around before heading to the corner for some bragging. ODB comes in and is ridden to the mat by Eric before we get back to some actual wrestling. Aries rakes the eyes to take over and chokes on the ropes before hooking a quick chinlock.

They trade loud chops and Young pounds away before being sent to the apron for a Flair strut. Young slides back in and sends Aries to the apron as well, but Austin’s Flair strut is broken up by a forearm. A big dive to the floor takes Aries down but kissing ODB takes too long and Aries dropkicks Young in the corner. The brainbuster finishes Young at 6:15.

Rating: C-. There were some nice spots in this but I don’t think I could care less about Young if I tried. He’s done the same “goofy” schtick for so long that I never need to see it again at all. Aries winning is fine as he belongs in the Series but the match wasn’t entertaining due to Young.

Aces and 8’s tell Doc to chill about not getting the BFG Series spot.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

It’s every member of Aces and 8’s but it’s a Fingerpoke of Doom match. Anderson “shoot” Brisco out, Hogan points Bischoff out, tricks Knux into looking away and actually fingerpokes him out, and tells D-Von to get the tables from the floor. Doc is the only one left but he will have none of the stepping aside. He goes after Anderson but eventually gets tossed out anyway at 4:00 so Anderson can win. No rating but it was storyline development instead of a match.

Rampage Jackson comes up to Angle in the back to ask what he meant last week. Angle said he just meant that Rampage can’t jump to the top overnight and everything seems cool.

Doc is yelled at in the back by the rest of the team until Ray yells at Anderson and Doc for screwing up the plan. Doc says he was just stepping up which Ray respects, but Doc broke the plan. Everything seems to be cool but Doc wants to make sure AJ Styles doesn’t make it into the BFG Series. Ray says get the job done.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

Angle takes it to the corner to start but AJ pops him in the jaw with a dropkick. A backbreaker and suplex put Angle down as we take a break. Back with AJ knocking Angle to the floor and hitting a baseball slide to send him into the announce table. AJ misses a big dive and gets caught in a sweet overhead belly to belly suplex to put him down on the floor. Back inside and AJ clotheslines him down but gets caught in a release German suplex. Angle can’t follow up and gets caught by a springboard forearm for two. Kurt comes right back with Rolling Germans, only to have AJ counter the Angle Slam into a DDT for two.

AJ misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. The ankle lock is countered into the Calf Killer which is countered into the ankle lock which is rolled through by AJ. Styles goes up for a moonsault but Angle runs the ropes for a belly to back superplex. AJ lands on his feet and hits a DDT into the corner to knock Angle silly. Cue Doc and Knux to go after AJ but it’s Angle who takes the shot. That and an Anderson distraction allows AJ to roll up Kurt for the pin at 15:37.

Rating: B. Did you expect anything else from Angle vs. Styles? The counters in there were getting more and more awesome every time with both guys finding a way to top themselves every time. The ending was fine even though they told us it was coming earlier in the night. Very solid main event here as you would have expected.

Aces and 8’s beat Angle down post match until Rampage Jackson makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a few steps below last week’s show but it was still entertaining for the most part. The wrestling wasn’t all that great but tonight’s episode was about setting up future matches instead of giving us entertaining stuff tonight. Angle vs. Styles was good like you would expect it to have been and some of the other matches weren’t bad either. Also the drama was kept to a minimum tonight which makes for a much easier show to sit through. It wasn’t bad but it was behind last week’s show.

Results

Bad Influence b. James Storm/Gunner – Kazarian pinned Storm after a belt shot to the head

Joseph Park b. Crimson – Rollup

Magnus b. Kenny King, Rob Terry and Matt Morgan – Michinoku Driver to King

Austin Aries b. Eric Young – Brainbuster

Mr. Anderson won a battle royal last eliminating Doc

AJ Styles b. Kurt Angle – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

One Night Stand 2005
Date: June 12, 2005
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Mick Foley

Well you knew I would get to this someday. This is pretty much my most requested show and since it’s my birthday I wanted to do a show that I really like. This was built up as exactly what the title is: a One Night Stand, as in one night only ECW is back. This was an absolute dream come true for ECW fans as WWE owned the names and trademarks and a lot of the contracts and therefore could put on a high quality show. This should be fun. Let’s do it.

To set this up, there is a Raw and Smackdown invasion going on, although no one really cared. Also you have none of the matches advertised that I can remember, which drives home one point: the wrestling here doesn’t matter at all and it’s about these guys having one last run. That’s perfectly fine and to me it made the show a lot better.

To translate: the grades for the match do not reflect the show as a whole. The matches are likely going to be graded low, but it means nothing at all so put zero to no stock into what I’m saying about the technical stuff.

We’re in the Ballroom and the fans are out in freaking force. They pop like crazy for the theme song and this is going to be awesome. Joey Styles is introduced and he looks pumped. I’ve always freaking loved this song too. He’s legitimately having trouble keeping it together.

This is much more interesting to watch after Hardcore Homecoming as you really get to see both sides of the coin. He drops an OMG and introduces Foley as his commentary partner who comes out to the WWF Cactus Jack music. See them thinking there? That’s nice.

Play that freaking video monkeys!

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

It’s Lionheart here too and we get a dramatic pause joke from Joey. It’s great to hear Joey talk about the old days, which to be fair and honest were more or less crap but for the sake of this it’s fine. Jericho is freaking small here as he looks like he did in WCW which I mean in a good way. It amazes me that these two have been so intertwined throughout the years. Foley throws in that he was the guy that saw Jericho in Japan and got Heyman to bring him to America and ECW in particular.

We hear about SMW to really make this great. Apparently Joey and ECW don’t like that the New York Athletic Commission made them use mats. This is something that on paper sounds great and on a rare occasion like this one it works like a charm. With these guys here’s what you do: “Chris, Lance, you have 7 minutes, here’s your ending.” That’s all they need. Joey calls Foley Mickles. Ok then.

We get a big old Chris Candido chant who would have passed away only about a month and a half before this show. To say the crowd is hot is like saying Steve Austin might have had alcohol before. We have an F JOHN CENA chant. Foley: How does the Calgary Crab differ from its Boston cousin?

Joey: It doesn’t it’s just a gimmick. Jason and Justin Credible are here and with Dawn Marie running interference, Justin canes the HECK out of Jericho to allow Storm to get the easy pin. Joey complaining about itching from Jason is funny. Lance more or less retired after this.

Rating: B. This was rather fun indeed. These two have good matches just about every time they’re allowed to get in the ring and this was no exception. This is a pairing that it’s hard to get wrong and it worked out just about perfectly. Solid match and a solid ending to Storm’s final match in the mainstream.

Pitbull Gary Wolfe intros a tribute to wrestlers that have passed away. We have Rocco Rock, part of a tag team I never got the appeal of but dang they were popular, Terry Gordy, Mike Lockwood (Crash Holly), Original Sheik (the first brawler that got really famous arguably), Mike Lozansky (old school ECW guy), Anthony Durante (Pitbull #1), Big Dick Dudley and Chris Candido. It’s scary that other than Sheik, I don’t think any of these guys were 40. That’s freaking scary when you think about it.

Let the Candido chants begin. This one I can have a lot of sympathy for as he died due to complications from an injury and not anything he caused to himself.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

This is under elimination rules. The whole FBI comes out here, as in 5-6 guys with maybe 2 Italians in there. The innuendo joke gets old fast. These were matches that happened a lot back in the day and they were always International Three Way Dances, as in one guy is from each country. Crazy was a guy that I never was sure if I liked him or not. Foley throws out a little known fact that he and Smothers won tag titles in Japan.

This was ECW’s answer to the luchadores that were stolen by WCW. Joey is in his element here with a bunch of move names as Foley says he can’t keep up with Joey so he’s mostly on his own here. SICK dropkick to a seated Guido from Crazy. These guys are moving like insanity out there (can’t say Crazy is moving like crazy out there).

They hit the crowd and Crazy goes to the balcony and hits an AMAZING moonsault into the crowd before going back into the ring and taking the Tarantula. That moonsault really was amazing and Joey chanting DIOS MIO was hilarious. We haven’t had an American wrestler in a match yet.

There’s the FBI in there and since they have the combined IQ of yogurt, Mikey Whipwreck, Tajiri’s tag partner, comes in and hits the Whippersnapper (second rope Stunner which yes he used before Austin) so Tajiri gets the easy pin to get us down to the Japanese Buzzsaw vs. the Crazy Mexican wrestler. After some more Mikey shenanigans, a top rope moonsault ends this for Crazy.

Rating: C+. Other than the dive this was a total mess. It wasn’t terrible at all but compared to the stuff WCW would pull out, this really wasn’t that great. The dive was indeed awesome though and definitely makes the match.

We hit the highlight reel of ECW which has Shane making ECW more or less, the Night the Line Was Crossed, UltraClash III (Paul’s first show as booker), Sandman, Sabu, Dreamer getting caned, the chair throwing incident which was cool, Funk being lit on fire and Foley breaking kayfabe over it, the belt being thrown down, Sandman isn’t blind, the ring collapsing with Public Enemy and that’s it apparently.

The WWE invaders aren’t here yet.

The theme song is Bodies for no apparent reason. The sponsor is called DESTROY ALL HUMANS! That sounds like something that some demon screams.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio

Still no traditional American wrestlers (yes I know Rey is from California but you get the idea). Psicosis doesn’t wear his mask after losing it in WCW, which is about as stupid of an idea as possible (Why let him keep the mask? I mean it’s not like he’s ridiculously popular and a ton of kids are going to buy them or anything so we’re in essence throwing away a gold mine or anything like that) but I digress.

Rey was still the high flier at this point and not a world champion or main event guy yet. The fans chant put the mask on which is amusing. The fans boo a sleeper hold from Psicosis. One thing you have to give to the ECW fans: they were never a dead crowd. Ah now that’s more like it: top rope legdrop onto Rey who is on the railing.

Note to self: watch Bash at the Beach where these two lit the company on fire with an epic opening match that stole the whole show. It just happened to have the most shocking heel turn in history and no one else ever mentioned anything else on the show. Naturally they were never pushed but that’s WCW for you. All right NOW we’re getting somewhere as they just dive all over the place. The 619 gets booed out of the building but the West Coast Pop ends it just afterwards.

Rating: B-. This was a slow start but once they got going it worked much better. This was all over the place and it worked about as well as you could ask for it to. The problem with the wrestling here is starting to show: 7 minutes per match simply isn’t enough to really get anything going, but again that’s not the point here.

The Crusaders/Invaders are here. There are too many to list but the main ones are Edge, Christian, Angle and JBL. Oh and Bischoff is with them too. Other than that it’s mainly jobbers. The heat on these guys is INSANE.

Roadkill and Doring talk about nothing and the Smackdown Crusaders interrupt them….somehow.

More highlights from ECW focusing on general carnage. The Monday Nyquil promo will never get old, period. This is more from the glory days and it’s FAR better than the PPV era. You really get the bad times of the company on PPV and that’s a shame really. I mark out still for the whole Dreamer/Raven insanity. There’s Taz vs. Shane which I would argue killed the company as much as any given angle for reasons I go into in far more detail in the regular PPV reviews.

Joel Gertner is in the Crusaders’ area. He gets a freaking ROAR. And JBL literally kicks him out. Angle runs down the ECW fans who chant you suck, so he says their mom taught him how to. The ending is clear here, but it’s going to be sweet. JBL trying to act like a big shot really is funny. However his rant against internet fans is pretty funny.

RVD’s music cuts off JBL’s rant though just as he says no one will ever be that big. He wouldn’t win the world title for a year though. I would have preferred Walk but One of a Kind suits him a little better and is still a great song. This was in the middle of the longest knee injury in recorded history as Van Dam was out for over a year because of it. RVD gets on the mic and more or less shoots for a bit on JBL and wrestling in general about how JBL sucks. Oh he says he’s shooting. Ok then.

Van Dam talks about how he was the biggest thing around at the end of ECW which is absolutely right. Of course Heyman wouldn’t put the belt on him ever when he could have carried ECW another 3-4 months at the least with Van Dam on top. He and Fonzie run through their whole deal and mention the idiotic two year TV Title run he had. Yeah it was stupid. If he’s the biggest guy in the company, why not make him WORLD CHAMPION?

He says he pitched the idea for this show to Vince, saying they didn’t even need a storyline. Van Dam can’t work tonight because of his knee injury and says missing tonight is worse than missing Wrestlemania. I’d buy that actually. Rhyno runs out and beats up Van Dam, bringing on a Sabu chant. And there go the lights. They come back up and that leads us to the following.

Sabu vs. Rhyno

Yep it’s chair time early and Rhyno gets popped like no other with it. I usually hate these things, but even I’m not stupid enough to think they meant nothing at all. Sabu is dominating this for the most part and it’s not as bad as I expected it to be actually. There’s not much to say about this.

The referee takes a gore and here’s Van Dam again. He gets the Chair Surf which is a move I’ve always liked. Yep it’s table time as it’s a Sabu match so there we are. Something that was supposed to be an Arabian SkullCrusher doesn’t work as I think the chair gets away from Sabu but it could have been worse I guess.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much. Like I said though it could have been far worse though as they had Sabu keep the weapons toned down here so that’s all fine and good. Far from great but these three had to be on the show somewhere.

Snow argues with Head. That might have been the most brilliant gimmick of all time. He sets up some more ECW clips which was more about insane moments which deserve clips of their own.

The Raw Crusaders are here now. Earlier it was just the Smackdown guys so Edge, Christian and Bischoff are just getting here. Oh the ending is going to be sweet.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is much more depressing to say the least upon my second viewing of this show. This is most odd but think about it: first match, both Canadians. Second match, all international guys. Third match, both luchadores. Last match, an “Arab” (Yes I know he’s from Michigan) and Rhyno. Now a Canadian vs. a guy more known as a Latino wrestler. That’s most uncommon. Joey says that these two and Foley are the three most successful guys to ever come out of ECW.

Remember that as I’ll reference it later. Let the sucking up by Joey begin. Someone has herpes apparently. The fans are more or less split here. Eddie is bleeding from the nose so make your own drug jokes. The fans start a MASSIVE FU Bischoff chant. You have to remember: Heyman blamed Bischoff for about 90% of ECW’s problems back in the day so he really is hated.

He’s also the guy that said ECW more or less was worthless and stole most of their talent. Do I need to explain what’s going on here? Of course this is solid. Eddie gets put in the Crossface and after a LONG time in it he taps.

Rating: B-. Again, how do you mess this one up? This needed more time to be anything great but this was good as you would expect. It’s a solid match although at the end Eddie just laid there rather than fight the hold which made me shake my head a lot. Give these two 25 minutes and it’s likely an A. The time killed it though.

Ad for Vengeance which had HHH vs. Batista in HIAC. There’s so much wrong with that airing on an ECW show I can’t believe it.

Gertner asks Bischoff for a job which is much funnier than it sounds. Maven is a crusader. Just take me now.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is a guy that is HATED by Styles and ECW for jumping ship and trying to throw the belt in the trash on Nitro. Because you know, no one in ECW ever disrespected a belt or anything like that. Joey says that it’s a shame Awesome didn’t take his own life on a suicide dive. That’s true Joey. He took his own life by hanging himself. As for the match, it’s about as intense and stiff as you could ask for.

This was an epic rivalry that went around the world and had them trade the ECW Title. That’s the issue here: Awesome is a traitor to ECW but this match is stealing the show. Let the LOUD chair shots begin. I never liked Tanaka’s no selling of chair shots. Ok we get it: chair shots hurt a lot. Table time and JBL makes fun of it for which I can’t blame him. The jokes about Awesome being wasted in WCW are ridiculously true.

The guy was freaking amazing so we make him the Fat Chick Thrillah and That 70s Guy. And you wonder why they went out of business. The crowd is WAY into this one. Oh look: tables. How original! We get a THIS MATCH RULES chant. And there goes Tanaka over the top rope through a table with a powerbomb. Add in an over the top rope dive onto the concrete and it’s over. Intense as all goodness.

Rating: B+. Yep, the show has been stolen. These two had some WARS back in the day and this one was no exception at all. Very intense fight rather than a match but whatever. Incredibly fun to say the least.

Joey thanks the fans for buying the Rise and Fall of ECW. If you’ve never seen that, go watch it. It’s 3 hours long but that will FLY by. Easily the best documentary in WWE history to me.

The ECW theme plays and IT’S PAUL HEYMAN. This more or less is the main event of the show as Heyman has been quiet for over four years about ECW and its death. He gets on his knees and bows to the fans which is a nice touch. He’s breaking up already. Massive Thank You Paul chant. He has the headset and trenchcoat too. Apparently he’s not crying but rather was just smoking a joint with Van Dam.

He thanks some people and the fans. He was going to take the high road and leave, but SCREW THAT. He goes insane and just rants on everything in his head mainly talking about the Crusaders. This was around the time when Edge legitimately stole Lita from Matt Hardy so that’s a hot button issue.

To JBL: the only reason you were WWE Champion for a year was because HHH didn’t want to work Tuesdays. And that my friends is what you call EPIC FREAKING WIN. We get the classic THIS IS EC FREAKING W line to end it. That was worth about 10 dollars of the total cost alone.

Ad for The Devil’s Rejects. No clue what that was for.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys.

Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys. That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I think. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least.

Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd. The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest and licking it off, one of which is Elektra.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny stuff and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.

And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.” For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it.

Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets chaired to death, giving us this great line: Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the tar cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma! “Somebody get me a beer!”

CUE GLASS SHATTER!

Yep, Austin (in a freaking XFL jersey of all things) is here. He calls out the whole locker room and says he wants to see a fight. Yep he calls down the crusaders and you know what’s coming. The heat is awesome here. The sight of everyone on their own side of the ring looks great. The crowd chants WE WANT TAZ and guess who shows up. Yep it’s old school Taz, as in the machine Taz. Bischoff is on commentary.

The fight is on and Taz and Angle hit the floor. After a bit of a scuffle, Taz chokes him out. Now the interesting thing is this: in the back of the ring you can see JBL going CRAZY on someone. It would turn out to be Blue Meanie and JBL was legitimately beating him until Tracy Smothers and a few others picked up on it and helped him. This started a legit feud between them with Smothers calling JBL out for a real fight anytime anywhere.

Anyway, other than that of course the ECW guys clean house and run the WWE guys off. After they leave, Austin gets on the mic (wearing JBL’s hat) and says to Mick Foley to bring Bischoff to the ring. The fans kind of collectively gasp as they know what’s coming. This was a wet dream for them to say the least. The funny part is that he can’t go into the crowd because he’ll get hurt worse out there.

Bischoff takes a 3D, the flying headbutt from Benoit (complete with Austin telling him to kill this SOB), a 619 (booed loudly) and a Stunner as the fans are in awe. The Dudleys literally throw Eric out of the building and the party is on. Joey screams ECW LIVES to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show just isn’t that good. I mean the wrestling is weak, the stories are non-existent and there is no way I can keep doing this with a straight face. It’s really nothign short of an A+. And if there was a higher grade it would get it. This is one of my favorite shows ever, possibly even number 3 after Summerslam 90 and Mania 17. They wanted one blowout show to end it and they hit it so far out of the park you can’t see where it landed.

This is about as perfect of a show as you’ll ever find and it is amazing. Everything clicked, the crowd is in the levels of Canadian Stampede and nothing was left out other than stuff for ridiculously hardcore fans. The key to it all: they let ECW be ECW, not the WWE version that would come NXT year.

Even if you weren’t an ECW fan like I wasn’t, this is a must see show. It feels like the old stuff and works like a charm. The ending couldn’t be any sweeter and it made everything perfect. Absolutely see this show, no questions asked.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Nitro #123
Date: January 19, 1998
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

This is the final Nitro before Souled Out and the main matches are already set. The world title situation hasn’t been addressed at all since the first episode of Thunder so it doesn’t look like we’re getting Sting vs. Hogan II at the PPV. We are however getting Bret vs. Flair in what has been a very well built up feud. The main event tonight is Hogan vs. Giant, hopefully without Robin Hood. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls dance to open the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Martel

Eddie jumps Martel before the bell but Rick rams him into the buckle to take over. A middle rope clothesline sets up a gorilla press on Eddie to send him out to the floor. Back in and Martel snaps off some quick armdrags and Eddie is getting frustrated. Guerrero goes after the knee to take Martel down and puts on a quick side leg lock. The slingshot hilo hits Martel’s leg and a belly to back suplex gets two. Eddie spends too much time bragging and gets caught in a spinebuster and the Quebec Crab for the tap out.

Rating: C-. This was really quick but it was nice while it lasted. There was a nice little story here as Eddie took out the leg but got too cocky and got caught. For a three minute match, that’s about as effective as you can get. Martel continues to look like he hasn’t lost a step despite not being a regular competitor for years now while Eddie was smooth as always.

We see the end of Thunder with the NWO imploding again as Nash and Savage are on the verge of completely disintegrating. They slapped each other during the match and Hogan had to play peacekeeper. Post match Hogan accidentally hit Savage to make the problems even worse. Giant and Sting ran out for the save and stood tall to end the show.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Eric has Sting’s bat for some reason and presents it to Hogan as a trophy. Hogan says that the NWO has a pecking order and everyone is going to fall in line as they’re supposed to. If anyone steps over the line, they’ll have to answer to Hogan and the bat. He knows everyone is praying to God to rectify the situation with the world title and put the belt back where it belongs. As for Giant, Hogan is proving he’s a fighting champion by beating him tonight before moving on to Sting and for Hogan’s world title.

Chris Benoit vs. Marty Jannetty

The announcers say that this is a match Benoit has been wanting for awhile. Benoit starts pounding away on Jannetty but gets caught in a headscissors to give Marty a breather. A superkick puts Benoit down followed by the jumping fist drop for no cover. Benoit gets a boot up in the corner and takes Jannetty’s head off with a back elbow. Marty actually wins a slugout in the corner and gets two off a knee lift.

Benoit blocks a suplex into a snap suplex of his own for one before throwing Marty to the outside. Jannetty slides through the legs to get back in before slamming Benoit face first into the mat. Here’s the Flock in the aisle but Benoit takes Jannetty down into the Crossface for the fast submission.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting. Jannetty really was better than people gave him credit for and he’s been showing that a bit in WCW. He more than held his own against Benoit and didn’t look bad in his other matches so far. Benoit looked good as well here in his tuneup match for Raven on Saturday and the Crossface came out of nowhere for the finish.

Post match the Flock storms the ring but Benoit fights them off and stares Raven down. The distraction lets Saturn get in a cheap shot but Jannetty comes up to make the save. Marty dives onto most of the Flock so Benoit can swan dive onto Lodi.

Jerry Flynn vs. The Cat

It’s Ernest Miller in his more famous persona. Flynn kicks him in the chest to start before countering a kick into a quick ankle lock. Cat makes the ropes and puts on a cross armbreaker which is broken just as quickly. Flynn comes back with a clothesline and a chop but Miller hits an enziguri as the martial arts begin. Cat hits his top rope spin kick for the fast pin. Short match here but it’s clear that UFC is starting to become an influence on professional wrestling.

Here’s Scott Hall with something to say. After the NWO wins, Hall says that he isn’t worried about Zbyszko because he gets the title shot at SuperBrawl no matter what. Hall calls out Larry for only being AWA World Champion (mentioned by name for the first time here) because his father in law was world champion and for the company going under with Larry on top. Hall says Dusty is a better wrestler turned announcer and Larry doesn’t want any of Hall. Larry says he wants him on Saturday and heads to the ring as we take a break.

Buff Bagwell/Konnan vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott starts with Buff and it’s time for a pose down. Buff hiptosses him down and takes Scott into the corner, only to be pounded down with forearms to the back. A belly to back puts Buff into the ropes and it’s off to Konnan. Scott speeds things up and leapfrogs over Konnan before nailing him with a clothesline. A running gorilla press sends Konnan rolling to the floor as it’s all Scott so far. DiBiase yells at him to tag but Scott doesn’t seem interested.

Back to Buff who is powerslammed into the Tree of Woe in the corner so Scott can choke away. He shoves the referee before being whipped into Konnan’s knee, allowing Buff to clothesline Scott to the floor. Rick finally comes over to make the save for his first action at all in the match. Konnan and Buff take turns pounding away as Scott isn’t interested in tagging. Scott clotheslines both NWO guys down and knocks Buff to the floor. The Steiner Screwdriver (now just an over the shoulder tombstone for safety’s sake) hits Konnan for the pin. Rick did nothing other than the save on the floor.

Rating: C-. Scott’s heel turn is working well so far but we’re still in the early stages. At this point the team is winning most of their matches and Scott is looking more and more dominant every time he’s out there. Rick and Ted can’t get through to him but the team is winning so they don’t have much to complain about.

Scott and Buff pose at each other post match with Buff running from a showdown. Rick stares at Scott but Scott walks away and celebrates on his own.

Hour #2 begins so the announcers recap the events of the first hour.

Here’s Giant with something to say. While he can’t touch Kevin Nash, he’s got the chokeslam for Hogan tonight. This brings out Nash with a cup of coffee and Hogan with the ball bat. Nash gets in Giant’s face but here’s Savage to go after Nash. Hogan calls him off but Savage comes in and knees Hogan into Nash, sending Nash into Giant. Nash throws the coffee into a ticked off Giant’s face but Hogan hits Giant with the bad. Sting runs out and gives Hogan the Death Drop to take his bat back. Giant is on his feet again about twenty seconds after Hulk Hogan hit him in the back with a bat. That’s an impressive recovery.

Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Mortis vs. Booker T

They slug it out to start as the announcers talk about Nitro going to three hours next week. Booker hits a quick ax kick and cranks on an armbar for a bit. Mortis avoids an elbow drop but Booker Spinaroonis up and hits a side kick to knock Mortis to the floor. Back in and Booker slingshots into a northern lights suplex by Mortis for two. Mortis loads up a top rope frankensteiner but Booker counters into a scary looking powerbomb off the top. Mortis is dead and the Harlem Hangover is good for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see but the slingshot into the northern lights suplex looked great. The match was just a quick win for Booker which is fine as it allows him to get on TV and showcase what he can do for a few minutes. It’s also a good sign that WCW can throw different people out there to challenge for the title instead of having the same few guys challenge over and over again.

Post match Wrath comes out to lay Booker out but Rick Martel makes the save. He asks for a title shot at the PPV and Booker says if it’s ok with the company it’s ok with him.

Here’s Flair for the hard sell for the match with Hart. Flair immediately takes the jacket off and says he’s here to wake the dead and make little girls talk out of their head. He takes the mic and lays on the mat, telling Bret to Scorpion this. Cue Bret as Flair gets on the apron. Hart praises Flair as one of the greatest wrestlers of all time but Bret has been waiting for this moment his entire life.

It’s like he’s starting his career over again against Ric Flair, and Bret is going to run over Flair on Saturday. Flair can compare their histories, but on Sunday morning Flair is going to wake up and feel that Bret is the best there is, was and ever will be. Flair says that he respects Bret’s family and he’s giving Bret one more chance to say that Ric is the best ever. Bret smiles at him and says that Flair will know who the best is on Sunday morning.

We look at Jericho attacking Mysterio last week on Nitro and costing him the Cruiserweight Title match. The announcers also talk about Mysterio winning the title on Thursday, setting up a title defense against Jericho on Saturday.

Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy gets a quick sunset flip for two and monkey flips Jericho into the ropes to frustrate Jericho again. Jericho offers a handshake but clotheslines Juvy down to take over. Guerrera seems to be a face here despite being a heel against Mysterio last week. Jericho can’t hit a tornado DDT and gets rolled up for two. Juvy hits a top rope spinwheel kick for two more but misses a charge and falls out to the floor to stop his momentum cold. Jericho holds the ropes open and kicks Guerrera as he comes back in, setting up the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was just a quick match to give Jericho more momentum leading into his title shot against Mysterio at the PPV. Jericho’s turn has been well built up to this point and it’s really easy to hate him given his actions. You put that against a natural hero in Rey and you get a good match as a result. It’s basic booking but very effective.

Jericho takes his time to let the hold go and says it’s because Juvy didn’t make it clear that he gave up. Chris jumps Juvy but Rey runs out for the save, setting up a double team on Jericho.

Scott Hall vs. Lex Luger

Hall throws his toothpick at Luger so Lex slaps him in the face. They fight over a lockup until Luger shoves Hall into the corner and flexes a lot. Hall wants a test of strength but suckers Luger into a double arm crank instead of trying his luck. The fans are distracted by something in the crowd so the hold stays on for a good while. Luger finally counters into the same hold on Hall but Scott kicks him low to escape.

Hall stomps away and puts on a sleeper, only to have Luger counter into one of his own. As is always the custom with this counter to Hall’s sleeper, Scott quickly breaks the hold but gets punched down. Luger fires off the atomic drops and clotheslines but Savage runs in for the DQ before the Rack goes on.

Rating: D. The arm hold screwed a lot of this up but it wasn’t much of a match either way. Luger and Savage are fighting again at the PPV in a match that really doesn’t have much of a story other than WCW vs. NWO, which isn’t much to base a major match on. There was no mention of Zbyszko vs. Hall during the entire match either.

Hall and Savage stomp Luger down until Zbyszko runs out and is beaten down as well. Lex makes the save with a chair.

The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan comes to the ring in a neck brace, talking about how Giant caused his injuries. Bischoff says that Hogan can’t fight tonight so Giant lifts him off the floor and suplexes him into the ring as the bell sounds. There goes the neck brace and Giant hits a quick running clothesline in the corner. Nash has come out to ringside as Giant chokes in the corner with his boot ala Big Kev.

They head to the floor with Hogan being rammed into the barricade. In a really impressive power display, Giant presses Hogan over his head and back inside over the top rope. Nash distracts Giant and Hogan FINALLY gets in a shot to the back to take over. Hollywood pounds away in the corner and chokes Giant down before hitting the big boot to the chest. Just like the old days, Hogan slams him down and drops the leg but Savage comes out to distract Hogan. Giant pops up and the chokeslam ends the match.

Rating: C-. It’s really hard to complain about seeing Hogan wrestle for free on Nitro against a big named guy. The match was really just a backdrop for the NWO drama but it was still entertaining stuff. Hogan’s abilities when he’s in his comfort zone are often forgotten because of how bad he can be at times, but almost any time you get to see him against a monster you get an entertaining match.

Post match Giant goes after Savage, Nash goes after Savage, Luger runs out to go after Savage, and the NWO comes in for the save. Sting repels from the ceiling into the crowd (after running to the ring earlier) and finally clears the ring of the NWO. WCW stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With only one bad match and some great buildup for Souled Out, it’s hard to find much to complain about here. It’s really interesting to see how well WCW was clicking at this point given how bad things fell apart just a few months later. This was an entertaining show and it made me want to watch Souled Out so the show is a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

No Way Out 2005
Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Taz

Not much to say here. It’s a Smackdown show and we’re in the very last stages of JBL’s title reign as he would lose to Cena at Mania. Other than that we have Cena vs. Angle which is probably for the Mania title shot. I really with they could come up with something more interesting than that, which I guess they have with the Chamber matches. There’s nothing else to talk about in the intro so let’s get to it.

Oh I almost forgot: the main event is a barbed wire steel cage match for the title with JBL vs. Big Show.

The video is about being trapped in the cage and there being no way out. Glad to see them be inventive with these things.

We look at the cage during Cole’s intro and there are certainly no barbs on it. It’s a regular cage with the barbed wire along the top where you climb over. There are no visible barbs there either.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

The brothers have the belts here. This is the beginning of Eddie’s last major feud with Rey which ended at Summerslam. He would feud with Batista a bit before dying. The Bashams are JBL’s secretaries of defense. Eddie vs. Danny to start us off. Tazz calls Rey a jaguar. That was rather odd. The challengers beat up on the Bashams for a bit as you know that other than a screwy finish there was no way the titles weren’t changing here.

Eddie gets in some trouble and can’t bring in Rey. The Bashams work him over as we talk about the main event some. Ah there’s Rey as things naturally start going faster. Rey gets his bulldog and Cole thinks it’s a DDT. Seriously does he even pay attention? Some twin magic has Rey in trouble again which Cole says is fine due to it being a family tradition.

Rey’s bumping has always been straight up awesome and this is no exception. He makes even basic moves look like he’s being destroyed. Mysterio hits a BIG moonsault to take Doug down for two but he still can’t tag. Crowd isn’t really that into it as I guess they know the formula at this point.

We get a weird bit about Eddie and tag ropes which is supposed to be funny I guess and I do not get it at all. Big double team move that sends Rey down face first and then it turns into a comedy/acrobatic segment with Rey diving all over the place and finally getting a tag. The Bashams beat down Eddie a bit and hit what is more or less a double chokeslam for no cover.

Rey gets back in and it’s a big brawl. Eddie goes to the floor and grabs a title belt but Rey stops him as does the referee. Was there a point to that? He goes for the Frog Splash but rolls through. Doug thinks he crashed (in the words of Marvin the Martian, “where’s the kaboom?” Isn’t that kind of a problem?) and gets rolled up for two. A belt shot from Eddie in all the confusion gives them the belts. Odd ending sequence there.

Rating: C. Not bad but absolutely nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times a year. Rey and Eddie would open Mania in a one on one match which was pretty good. This wasn’t much of a tag match but at least the right team won and at least they had some history so it wasn’t a totally random pairing. Nothing special at all though but the fifteen minutes it got went by fast.

Teddy talks to a producer and says that when Batista gets here (he was debating which brand to come to for his Royal Rumble win title match) to give him whatever he wants. Carlito and the wife of a member of the board comes in and says they hope he signs Batista. It’s a way for Carlito to get Teddy fired which was his big thing. If Teddy doesn’t sign Batista he’s fired apparently.

There is a Smackdown Diva Rookie of the Year contest tonight. Apparently there are enough rookie Divas on Smackdown to warrant a contest and we’re determining it in late February. Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie are the hosts. The first event is an evening gown contest and the first is Joy Giovanni. It makes me want to play Pokemon if nothing else.

Second is Rochelle Loewen who was in Playboy. There’s nothing to this as they walk to the ring and then the next person comes out. Third is Lauren Jones and again no one knows who she is. The hosts don’t like Lauren. The last is Michelle McCool who you may have heard of. The hosts are at the announce table too. This was about as big of a waste of five minutes as you could ask for. Oh and there are two more competitions.

Ad for Mania which is the Hollywood campaign that I always loved. They put some thought into these and they came off far better than most others. This one is Pulp Fiction with Booker T as Samuel L. Jackson and Eddie as John Travolta. I think you know the scene that they’re doing. Booker hands the guy a pair of Mania tickets rather than a gun. They accidentally shoot the guy anyway.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T

No real backstory here other than Heidenreich needed a feud after Taker got done beating him up. This was made after Smackdown apparently when Booker thought Heidenreich was laughing at Booker after a loss. He reads a poem before the match which isn’t very good. It’s kind of hard to get into this as it’s about as thrown onto the card as you could want a match to be.

Basic match to start and Jon (not typing that whole name out every time) talks to himself and hits himself in the head. Pretty back and forth here as Booker hits him a good deal but can’t drop him. Jon wasn’t an invincible guy which more or less took away any fear he would instill in anyone else. Well that and when he raped Cole. Jon takes over and gets a key lock as this is rather uninteresting.

Booker makes a comeback but gets kicked in the face to stop that. And now back to the same hold as he had on before. Booker makes another comeback and hits a superkick to set up the Spinarooni. Jon is sent to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts Booker in the throat with it for the DQ.

Rating: F+. It was too long, it wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the ending sucked and the wrestling was boring. Why in the world was this on a pay per view? Heidenreich was a pretty big misfire if there ever has been one as he never was interesting or a threat to anyone really. This was a great example of how worthless he was.

Post match Heidenreich covers Booker because he’s insane. Moving on.

Eddie and Rey are celebrating with random faces when Cena comes in. Eddie wants to talk to him alone and offers a nice thing saying if he doesn’t beat Angle it would be understandable. This is a big night tonight because if Cena wins he goes to Mania which is the point of everything. Eddie sounds like he’s about to cry. He says not to tap because it would tick Angle off and that’s Cena’s chance. In other words Cena, you’re not good enough to beat Angle yourself, so make him beat himself. Nice guy that Eddie. No idea what the point of this was.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Akio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Funaki vs. Shannon Moore

This is a Cruiserweight Open. The idea is a gauntlet match by random draw and the winner is the champion. Everyone comes out in random order and will stand at ringside rather than coming down the aisle. The first pairing is Paul London and Funaki who is champion coming in. Nothing special at all here as they go back and forth a bit. Chavo tries to come in but Spike (the former champion and a heel) drills Funaki in the back and London gets to roll him up for the pin.

Funaki hits Spike so London gets him and we’re down to four in less than two minutes. Shannon Moore is in at #4. More basic stuff here with nothing special going on. Shannon whips London into the corner chest first a few times. London hits two moves, a back elbow and the 450, to get the pin. Wow I hate these matches.

Akio (Jimmy Wang Yang) is in at #5. He beats on the tired London and hooks a chinlock in a freaking cruiserweight match. London has had maybe four moves total in his three wins. London gets a swinging neckbreaker off the top and both guys are down since there isn’t really any difference in how either guy lands. We get the double count and Akio doesn’t make it. I have NEVER seen anyone lose that way before.

So it’s Chavo vs. London for the title. London gets beaten down even more but hits a Dragon Suplex for two. This is probably about over which is what makes this even stupider. London makes a real comeback, hammering away with everything he’s got. A Dropsault gets two and then Chavo rolls him up with the ropes for the title. Chavo was in the ring less than three minutes.

Rating: F. I can’t stand these things. The champion got pinned in less than 100 seconds and the longest “match” was less than three and a half minutes. The pins are WAY too fast to be realistic and you can’t get into any pairing. Also London getting in nothing before the very last match was very stupid. I can’t stand these things and this as no exception.

We see a clip from Smackdown where Batista destroyed JBL’s limo after it almost ran him over on Raw. Show and Batista wanted to go after JBL but he ran away.

Show is worried about the cage. Or maybe he wants to eat a small animal, like a cow.

We actually get a graphic from Tazz explaining that you can win the cage match by pin, submission and escape. Apparently there won’t be access through the door.

Wrestlemania Recall: THE GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL! That might be the best Mania match of all time ever.

Time for round two of the Rookie Diva stuff. This is the talent competition. They have to reintroduce the contestants. There are only six matches on the card and yet they have to pad it out with THIS? There wasn’t something better to do than to put SIX Cruiserweights in the same match? Joy goes first and her talent is massage so she rubs Torrie’s back. I feel like I’m watching outtakes of NXT.

Rochelle tells jokes. They suck.

Lauren, who is SHORT, dances. Not bad but in essence she strips.

Michelle’s talent is slamming Dawn who has run her mouth the whole time. I’m cracking up at this: a person’s special talent in a competition about being the best in a wrestling company was WRESTLING. WHAT A CONCEPT!

JBL tells Josh that he’s not scared. Who would have guessed Josh is still on the payroll and JBL isn’t? He talks way too long as it’s very clear they’re trying as hard as possible to fill in time.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker

No story here. Reigns is part of Angle’s team and they don’t like Undertaker. That’s it. Reigns was just a big power guy that was pretty generic to put it mildly. Mark Jindrak is out there with Reigns. And so much for that as he gets thrown out. This is more time wasting if you didn’t get that. Is there a reason why we had six matches on this card? We get a clip from Smackdown where Reigns hit Taker with a camera just after he beat Jindrak.

Taker is only 12-0 at Mania here so you know it’s a long time ago. Basic striking contest to start and guess who wins there. Reigns gets the turnbuckle pad off but Taker blocks the shot into it. This is your standard big man vs. big man match here. Reigns goes back first into the buckle as I’m kind of surprised Taker is staying in control this long as it’s not something you often see.

Apron legdrop has Luther in real trouble. Ah there’s the low blow to get Taker in trouble so he can make his traditional comeback. His head goes into the buckle and it’s the same spot that got hit by the buckle. Basic power stuff focusing on the head by Luther here as nothing special is going on here at all. There is ZERO heat here as the fans know that Luther isn’t going to win and we’re just waiting for Taker to make his comeback.

Taker gets a jumping….double axe handle to take over. What the heck? When does he do ANYTHING but the clothesline there? Snake eyes are blocked and a big boot takes Luther down. The fans flat out do not care. Chokeslam hits but Tombstone is countered into a reverse DDT. Cole SCREAMS at us that it was a swinging neckbreaker which was Reigns’ finisher and he looks like a total idiot because of it.

Taz calls it the same thing. Seriously are they THAT stupid? He goes for the actual move and Taker counters into a DDT. The Tombstone ends it seconds later. Sweet goodness those announcers are idiots.

Rating: D+. Totally by the book match here which we’ve seen a thousand times from Taker. Reigns never really meant anything at all and would be gone relatively soon and never heard from again. Taker beating up muscle guys who hit their finishers on him is about as standard as you could want from him and this was no exception. Boring match but I’ve seen worse.

Teddy is worried that Batista isn’t here yet.

We get another Mania ad, this one from Basic Instinct with Benoit and Jericho interrogating Stacy. Stacy smokes and makes lesbian jokes about her and Trish which give Jericho and Benoit some, ahem, issues. Christian, who means nothing at this point, is there too. Mae and Moolah come in and flash the interrogators.

Time for the final round of this nonsense. Dawn won’t come out for this one. This is the swimsuit round and they come out to Candace’s music. Joy comes out in a jersey and the others in robes. I don’t think I ever remember seeing Michelle in a swimsuit. Joy is wearing little shorts over a thong and won’t take them off. Rochelle trips but catches herself.

Lauren’s is too big as this isn’t going anywhere at all other than, say it with me, WASTING MORE TIME. Michelle looks good but nothing that special. This is just stupid. Rochelle probably looks best. We poll the audience while we wait on the votes to be tallied. They like Joy, who is the hottest looking overall, best. Joy DOMINATES, getting 65% of the votes. Lauren gets 6%. Rochelle, Joy and Lauren were gone in a few weeks, making this even MORE pointless if that’s possible.

We recap the #1 contender’s tournament where the finals are tonight. In order, Booker beat Eddie, Cena beat Orlando Jordan, Taker and Dupree had a draw and Angle beat Rey, sending him to the finals. Cena beat Booker, setting up Cena vs. Angle for the spot in the title match at Mania. There’s a short thing about Angle vs. Cena too as you can see the star in Cena about to explode.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is the second hottest thing in the world at this point just after Batista. He’s US Champion here also. Angle doesn’t get much of a big hometown pop which says something about his heat gathering abilities. Angle takes him to the mat to start as they’re going to have a lot of time to work with here. He gets a pretty bad belly to belly into what can best be described as a reverse chickenwing which looked pretty awesome.

Cena makes a comeback and knocks Angle to the floor and is booed LOUDLY. They brawl onto the announce table with Cena in control. Release Fisherman’s Suplex gets two. I think the back in the ring aspect was a given there. Angle avoids the FU and hits the floor for a breather. You can see the look in Cena’s eyes and it’s awesome.

He beats Angle down in the corner but Angle reverses and hits a release German into the buckle which was a cool looking spot. We go to a body scissors and Angle loudly calls spots to Cena. I love little things like those for some reason. Angle wrestles him down every time and Cena responds by just punching him. Angle rolls the Germans for two. Cena gets up and hits a spinebuster for two.

FU is reversed into a sunset flip and then a belly to belly as Cena is in trouble again. Angle Slam is reversed and Cena gets a DDT for two. Tazz isn’t sure if Cena winning would be an upset or not. FU is blocked again into the ankle lock and Cena is in big non-trouble as he reverses, sending Angle to the floor. He gets the top rope Fameasser as Angle is getting in for two.

Angle charges at Cena but walks into the FU for a LONG two. Kurt kicks him in the knee and goes after the leg. Angle Slam hits after some submission holds get Angle nowhere. Ankle lock goes on and Cena is in the middle of the ring. Gee do you think he’ll tap? How can you get away with pulling a guy back to the middle after he has the ropes already? I’ve never gotten that.

And Angle shoves the referee down for no adequately explained reason. He grabs Cena’s chain off the corner which is apparently Cena’s pride and joy. Screw that US Title thing. FU hits and amazingly enough that gets the pin as the referee was down before that. Cena winning was a legit surprise here as I think it was still a huge upset. He would lose the US Title to Jordan before the PPV. Yes, Orlando Jordan beat John Cena for a title.

Rating: B. Solid match here but it never quite got into that high gear to make it great. Cena’s match would get about 10 minutes while Angle would have a classic with Shawn that went over twenty. Still though this this was rather good and both guys were working out there. I think that Cena had more skills than Batista but Batista was flat out bigger at this point. Solid match though but I wonder how much of that is because of Angle.

Batista still isn’t here.

The cage is lowered. We need to have a general spam discussion match on PPV one time.

The recap of the main event match talks about Jindrak and Reigns costing Show the title at the Rumble. Show wanted it one on one so we got this. Batista is mentioned here too but not how he fits in here. A lot of this is the same stuff from the earlier package.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Big Show

Basic stuff to start as JBL takes Show down with a flying tackle. He goes up but is afraid of the barbed wire. He tries a cross body and guess how well that goes for him. They’re staying away from the wire so far and it’s just a basic match for the most part here. Show is busted open after eating some cage. Bradshaw in full control here.

He rips the tag rope off the corner and chokes away with it. Show hits something like a superkick to put JBL down. Does Cole have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids? He can snap those things off like they’re nothing. Powerbomb by Show and JBL is in trouble. The fans chant RVD who was hurt at the time.

Cole says the cage is a carnivore. Why do steel structures always have to have lives of their own in this company? Show gets a slingshot (Cole says monkey flip) into the cage. Here’s Jordan to climb the cage. The Bashams cut through part of the cage but Teddy comes out, saying to leave. Jordan manages to slip some bolt cutters to JBL who pops Show with them and adds the Clothesline From Hell for two.

For some reason there’s more or less no reaction for the kickout from the world champion’s finisher. Chokeslam hits for two as well which gets kind of a reaction but nothing huge. Another chokeslam is blocked though as JBL kicks the little Shows and adds a boot to the face. The door is closed and locked and isn’t eligible for escaping.

Bradshaw climbs up and uses the bolt cutters to cut through some of the wire. Show gets up and knocks them out of his hand. JBL is slammed into the cage a few times as the wire has more or less meant jack so far in this match. Show grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through the ring, prompting a pretty weak holy expletive chant.

Show finds a safe spot and climbs down but he’s not sure what to do. Some things never change I guess. Instead Show pulls on the chain and lock which he rips apart with his bare hands. Well why mess with what works? He opens the door and climbs to the floor as JBL is declared the winner and still champion. While Show was wasting all kinds of time, JBL climbed through the hole in the ring and hit the floor first to retain. I love that ending because JBL followed the rules perfectly and Show’s reliance on power cost him.

Rating: D+. I REALLY wasn’t impressed here. If this was a regular cage match then it’s ok I guess but the barbed wire was just stupid. It did a total of nothing other than acting as a deterrent I guess, which a regular cage would have done just as fine or a cage with a top on it. This was a waste of time for the most part and didn’t work that well at all. Weak main event.

The Cabinet, JBL’s crew, comes out for the big beatdown and Batista comes out for the save. He’s in his gear of course. Don’t you travel like that? JBL tries to leave but Cena stops him. Apparently Cena vs. JBL is already made, which makes the signing of the contract totally pointless. Cena gives him a spinebuster onto the equipment. Apparently it’s either Cena vs. JBL or a triple threat. Yeah because I’m SURE they would let HHH have the night off right?

Overall Rating: D. This was bad. The Cena/Angle match is good and there’s some ok stuff elsewhere on the card, but the vast majority of this stuff is fast forward time. These split branded shows were just awful and this is a great example. They had SIX matches and had to give three different segments to the rookie Divas and nothing happened with them but they got about 15 minutes total. I hated this PPV but the Rumble and Mania were both good so they were allowed to have a bad show I guess. Take a pass here and find the better Cena/Angle matches elsewhere.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: