Monday Nitro #123
Date: January 19, 1998
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

This is the final Nitro before Souled Out and the main matches are already set. The world title situation hasn’t been addressed at all since the first episode of Thunder so it doesn’t look like we’re getting Sting vs. Hogan II at the PPV. We are however getting Bret vs. Flair in what has been a very well built up feud. The main event tonight is Hogan vs. Giant, hopefully without Robin Hood. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls dance to open the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Martel

Eddie jumps Martel before the bell but Rick rams him into the buckle to take over. A middle rope clothesline sets up a gorilla press on Eddie to send him out to the floor. Back in and Martel snaps off some quick armdrags and Eddie is getting frustrated. Guerrero goes after the knee to take Martel down and puts on a quick side leg lock. The slingshot hilo hits Martel’s leg and a belly to back suplex gets two. Eddie spends too much time bragging and gets caught in a spinebuster and the Quebec Crab for the tap out.

Rating: C-. This was really quick but it was nice while it lasted. There was a nice little story here as Eddie took out the leg but got too cocky and got caught. For a three minute match, that’s about as effective as you can get. Martel continues to look like he hasn’t lost a step despite not being a regular competitor for years now while Eddie was smooth as always.

We see the end of Thunder with the NWO imploding again as Nash and Savage are on the verge of completely disintegrating. They slapped each other during the match and Hogan had to play peacekeeper. Post match Hogan accidentally hit Savage to make the problems even worse. Giant and Sting ran out for the save and stood tall to end the show.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Eric has Sting’s bat for some reason and presents it to Hogan as a trophy. Hogan says that the NWO has a pecking order and everyone is going to fall in line as they’re supposed to. If anyone steps over the line, they’ll have to answer to Hogan and the bat. He knows everyone is praying to God to rectify the situation with the world title and put the belt back where it belongs. As for Giant, Hogan is proving he’s a fighting champion by beating him tonight before moving on to Sting and for Hogan’s world title.

Chris Benoit vs. Marty Jannetty

The announcers say that this is a match Benoit has been wanting for awhile. Benoit starts pounding away on Jannetty but gets caught in a headscissors to give Marty a breather. A superkick puts Benoit down followed by the jumping fist drop for no cover. Benoit gets a boot up in the corner and takes Jannetty’s head off with a back elbow. Marty actually wins a slugout in the corner and gets two off a knee lift.

Benoit blocks a suplex into a snap suplex of his own for one before throwing Marty to the outside. Jannetty slides through the legs to get back in before slamming Benoit face first into the mat. Here’s the Flock in the aisle but Benoit takes Jannetty down into the Crossface for the fast submission.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting. Jannetty really was better than people gave him credit for and he’s been showing that a bit in WCW. He more than held his own against Benoit and didn’t look bad in his other matches so far. Benoit looked good as well here in his tuneup match for Raven on Saturday and the Crossface came out of nowhere for the finish.

Post match the Flock storms the ring but Benoit fights them off and stares Raven down. The distraction lets Saturn get in a cheap shot but Jannetty comes up to make the save. Marty dives onto most of the Flock so Benoit can swan dive onto Lodi.

Jerry Flynn vs. The Cat

It’s Ernest Miller in his more famous persona. Flynn kicks him in the chest to start before countering a kick into a quick ankle lock. Cat makes the ropes and puts on a cross armbreaker which is broken just as quickly. Flynn comes back with a clothesline and a chop but Miller hits an enziguri as the martial arts begin. Cat hits his top rope spin kick for the fast pin. Short match here but it’s clear that UFC is starting to become an influence on professional wrestling.

Here’s Scott Hall with something to say. After the NWO wins, Hall says that he isn’t worried about Zbyszko because he gets the title shot at SuperBrawl no matter what. Hall calls out Larry for only being AWA World Champion (mentioned by name for the first time here) because his father in law was world champion and for the company going under with Larry on top. Hall says Dusty is a better wrestler turned announcer and Larry doesn’t want any of Hall. Larry says he wants him on Saturday and heads to the ring as we take a break.

Buff Bagwell/Konnan vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott starts with Buff and it’s time for a pose down. Buff hiptosses him down and takes Scott into the corner, only to be pounded down with forearms to the back. A belly to back puts Buff into the ropes and it’s off to Konnan. Scott speeds things up and leapfrogs over Konnan before nailing him with a clothesline. A running gorilla press sends Konnan rolling to the floor as it’s all Scott so far. DiBiase yells at him to tag but Scott doesn’t seem interested.

Back to Buff who is powerslammed into the Tree of Woe in the corner so Scott can choke away. He shoves the referee before being whipped into Konnan’s knee, allowing Buff to clothesline Scott to the floor. Rick finally comes over to make the save for his first action at all in the match. Konnan and Buff take turns pounding away as Scott isn’t interested in tagging. Scott clotheslines both NWO guys down and knocks Buff to the floor. The Steiner Screwdriver (now just an over the shoulder tombstone for safety’s sake) hits Konnan for the pin. Rick did nothing other than the save on the floor.

Rating: C-. Scott’s heel turn is working well so far but we’re still in the early stages. At this point the team is winning most of their matches and Scott is looking more and more dominant every time he’s out there. Rick and Ted can’t get through to him but the team is winning so they don’t have much to complain about.

Scott and Buff pose at each other post match with Buff running from a showdown. Rick stares at Scott but Scott walks away and celebrates on his own.

Hour #2 begins so the announcers recap the events of the first hour.

Here’s Giant with something to say. While he can’t touch Kevin Nash, he’s got the chokeslam for Hogan tonight. This brings out Nash with a cup of coffee and Hogan with the ball bat. Nash gets in Giant’s face but here’s Savage to go after Nash. Hogan calls him off but Savage comes in and knees Hogan into Nash, sending Nash into Giant. Nash throws the coffee into a ticked off Giant’s face but Hogan hits Giant with the bad. Sting runs out and gives Hogan the Death Drop to take his bat back. Giant is on his feet again about twenty seconds after Hulk Hogan hit him in the back with a bat. That’s an impressive recovery.

Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Mortis vs. Booker T

They slug it out to start as the announcers talk about Nitro going to three hours next week. Booker hits a quick ax kick and cranks on an armbar for a bit. Mortis avoids an elbow drop but Booker Spinaroonis up and hits a side kick to knock Mortis to the floor. Back in and Booker slingshots into a northern lights suplex by Mortis for two. Mortis loads up a top rope frankensteiner but Booker counters into a scary looking powerbomb off the top. Mortis is dead and the Harlem Hangover is good for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see but the slingshot into the northern lights suplex looked great. The match was just a quick win for Booker which is fine as it allows him to get on TV and showcase what he can do for a few minutes. It’s also a good sign that WCW can throw different people out there to challenge for the title instead of having the same few guys challenge over and over again.

Post match Wrath comes out to lay Booker out but Rick Martel makes the save. He asks for a title shot at the PPV and Booker says if it’s ok with the company it’s ok with him.

Here’s Flair for the hard sell for the match with Hart. Flair immediately takes the jacket off and says he’s here to wake the dead and make little girls talk out of their head. He takes the mic and lays on the mat, telling Bret to Scorpion this. Cue Bret as Flair gets on the apron. Hart praises Flair as one of the greatest wrestlers of all time but Bret has been waiting for this moment his entire life.

It’s like he’s starting his career over again against Ric Flair, and Bret is going to run over Flair on Saturday. Flair can compare their histories, but on Sunday morning Flair is going to wake up and feel that Bret is the best there is, was and ever will be. Flair says that he respects Bret’s family and he’s giving Bret one more chance to say that Ric is the best ever. Bret smiles at him and says that Flair will know who the best is on Sunday morning.

We look at Jericho attacking Mysterio last week on Nitro and costing him the Cruiserweight Title match. The announcers also talk about Mysterio winning the title on Thursday, setting up a title defense against Jericho on Saturday.

Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy gets a quick sunset flip for two and monkey flips Jericho into the ropes to frustrate Jericho again. Jericho offers a handshake but clotheslines Juvy down to take over. Guerrera seems to be a face here despite being a heel against Mysterio last week. Jericho can’t hit a tornado DDT and gets rolled up for two. Juvy hits a top rope spinwheel kick for two more but misses a charge and falls out to the floor to stop his momentum cold. Jericho holds the ropes open and kicks Guerrera as he comes back in, setting up the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was just a quick match to give Jericho more momentum leading into his title shot against Mysterio at the PPV. Jericho’s turn has been well built up to this point and it’s really easy to hate him given his actions. You put that against a natural hero in Rey and you get a good match as a result. It’s basic booking but very effective.

Jericho takes his time to let the hold go and says it’s because Juvy didn’t make it clear that he gave up. Chris jumps Juvy but Rey runs out for the save, setting up a double team on Jericho.

Scott Hall vs. Lex Luger

Hall throws his toothpick at Luger so Lex slaps him in the face. They fight over a lockup until Luger shoves Hall into the corner and flexes a lot. Hall wants a test of strength but suckers Luger into a double arm crank instead of trying his luck. The fans are distracted by something in the crowd so the hold stays on for a good while. Luger finally counters into the same hold on Hall but Scott kicks him low to escape.

Hall stomps away and puts on a sleeper, only to have Luger counter into one of his own. As is always the custom with this counter to Hall’s sleeper, Scott quickly breaks the hold but gets punched down. Luger fires off the atomic drops and clotheslines but Savage runs in for the DQ before the Rack goes on.

Rating: D. The arm hold screwed a lot of this up but it wasn’t much of a match either way. Luger and Savage are fighting again at the PPV in a match that really doesn’t have much of a story other than WCW vs. NWO, which isn’t much to base a major match on. There was no mention of Zbyszko vs. Hall during the entire match either.

Hall and Savage stomp Luger down until Zbyszko runs out and is beaten down as well. Lex makes the save with a chair.

The Giant vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan comes to the ring in a neck brace, talking about how Giant caused his injuries. Bischoff says that Hogan can’t fight tonight so Giant lifts him off the floor and suplexes him into the ring as the bell sounds. There goes the neck brace and Giant hits a quick running clothesline in the corner. Nash has come out to ringside as Giant chokes in the corner with his boot ala Big Kev.

They head to the floor with Hogan being rammed into the barricade. In a really impressive power display, Giant presses Hogan over his head and back inside over the top rope. Nash distracts Giant and Hogan FINALLY gets in a shot to the back to take over. Hollywood pounds away in the corner and chokes Giant down before hitting the big boot to the chest. Just like the old days, Hogan slams him down and drops the leg but Savage comes out to distract Hogan. Giant pops up and the chokeslam ends the match.

Rating: C-. It’s really hard to complain about seeing Hogan wrestle for free on Nitro against a big named guy. The match was really just a backdrop for the NWO drama but it was still entertaining stuff. Hogan’s abilities when he’s in his comfort zone are often forgotten because of how bad he can be at times, but almost any time you get to see him against a monster you get an entertaining match.

Post match Giant goes after Savage, Nash goes after Savage, Luger runs out to go after Savage, and the NWO comes in for the save. Sting repels from the ceiling into the crowd (after running to the ring earlier) and finally clears the ring of the NWO. WCW stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With only one bad match and some great buildup for Souled Out, it’s hard to find much to complain about here. It’s really interesting to see how well WCW was clicking at this point given how bad things fell apart just a few months later. This was an entertaining show and it made me want to watch Souled Out so the show is a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

No Way Out 2005
Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Taz

Not much to say here. It’s a Smackdown show and we’re in the very last stages of JBL’s title reign as he would lose to Cena at Mania. Other than that we have Cena vs. Angle which is probably for the Mania title shot. I really with they could come up with something more interesting than that, which I guess they have with the Chamber matches. There’s nothing else to talk about in the intro so let’s get to it.

Oh I almost forgot: the main event is a barbed wire steel cage match for the title with JBL vs. Big Show.

The video is about being trapped in the cage and there being no way out. Glad to see them be inventive with these things.

We look at the cage during Cole’s intro and there are certainly no barbs on it. It’s a regular cage with the barbed wire along the top where you climb over. There are no visible barbs there either.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

The brothers have the belts here. This is the beginning of Eddie’s last major feud with Rey which ended at Summerslam. He would feud with Batista a bit before dying. The Bashams are JBL’s secretaries of defense. Eddie vs. Danny to start us off. Tazz calls Rey a jaguar. That was rather odd. The challengers beat up on the Bashams for a bit as you know that other than a screwy finish there was no way the titles weren’t changing here.

Eddie gets in some trouble and can’t bring in Rey. The Bashams work him over as we talk about the main event some. Ah there’s Rey as things naturally start going faster. Rey gets his bulldog and Cole thinks it’s a DDT. Seriously does he even pay attention? Some twin magic has Rey in trouble again which Cole says is fine due to it being a family tradition.

Rey’s bumping has always been straight up awesome and this is no exception. He makes even basic moves look like he’s being destroyed. Mysterio hits a BIG moonsault to take Doug down for two but he still can’t tag. Crowd isn’t really that into it as I guess they know the formula at this point.

We get a weird bit about Eddie and tag ropes which is supposed to be funny I guess and I do not get it at all. Big double team move that sends Rey down face first and then it turns into a comedy/acrobatic segment with Rey diving all over the place and finally getting a tag. The Bashams beat down Eddie a bit and hit what is more or less a double chokeslam for no cover.

Rey gets back in and it’s a big brawl. Eddie goes to the floor and grabs a title belt but Rey stops him as does the referee. Was there a point to that? He goes for the Frog Splash but rolls through. Doug thinks he crashed (in the words of Marvin the Martian, “where’s the kaboom?” Isn’t that kind of a problem?) and gets rolled up for two. A belt shot from Eddie in all the confusion gives them the belts. Odd ending sequence there.

Rating: C. Not bad but absolutely nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times a year. Rey and Eddie would open Mania in a one on one match which was pretty good. This wasn’t much of a tag match but at least the right team won and at least they had some history so it wasn’t a totally random pairing. Nothing special at all though but the fifteen minutes it got went by fast.

Teddy talks to a producer and says that when Batista gets here (he was debating which brand to come to for his Royal Rumble win title match) to give him whatever he wants. Carlito and the wife of a member of the board comes in and says they hope he signs Batista. It’s a way for Carlito to get Teddy fired which was his big thing. If Teddy doesn’t sign Batista he’s fired apparently.

There is a Smackdown Diva Rookie of the Year contest tonight. Apparently there are enough rookie Divas on Smackdown to warrant a contest and we’re determining it in late February. Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie are the hosts. The first event is an evening gown contest and the first is Joy Giovanni. It makes me want to play Pokemon if nothing else.

Second is Rochelle Loewen who was in Playboy. There’s nothing to this as they walk to the ring and then the next person comes out. Third is Lauren Jones and again no one knows who she is. The hosts don’t like Lauren. The last is Michelle McCool who you may have heard of. The hosts are at the announce table too. This was about as big of a waste of five minutes as you could ask for. Oh and there are two more competitions.

Ad for Mania which is the Hollywood campaign that I always loved. They put some thought into these and they came off far better than most others. This one is Pulp Fiction with Booker T as Samuel L. Jackson and Eddie as John Travolta. I think you know the scene that they’re doing. Booker hands the guy a pair of Mania tickets rather than a gun. They accidentally shoot the guy anyway.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T

No real backstory here other than Heidenreich needed a feud after Taker got done beating him up. This was made after Smackdown apparently when Booker thought Heidenreich was laughing at Booker after a loss. He reads a poem before the match which isn’t very good. It’s kind of hard to get into this as it’s about as thrown onto the card as you could want a match to be.

Basic match to start and Jon (not typing that whole name out every time) talks to himself and hits himself in the head. Pretty back and forth here as Booker hits him a good deal but can’t drop him. Jon wasn’t an invincible guy which more or less took away any fear he would instill in anyone else. Well that and when he raped Cole. Jon takes over and gets a key lock as this is rather uninteresting.

Booker makes a comeback but gets kicked in the face to stop that. And now back to the same hold as he had on before. Booker makes another comeback and hits a superkick to set up the Spinarooni. Jon is sent to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts Booker in the throat with it for the DQ.

Rating: F+. It was too long, it wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the ending sucked and the wrestling was boring. Why in the world was this on a pay per view? Heidenreich was a pretty big misfire if there ever has been one as he never was interesting or a threat to anyone really. This was a great example of how worthless he was.

Post match Heidenreich covers Booker because he’s insane. Moving on.

Eddie and Rey are celebrating with random faces when Cena comes in. Eddie wants to talk to him alone and offers a nice thing saying if he doesn’t beat Angle it would be understandable. This is a big night tonight because if Cena wins he goes to Mania which is the point of everything. Eddie sounds like he’s about to cry. He says not to tap because it would tick Angle off and that’s Cena’s chance. In other words Cena, you’re not good enough to beat Angle yourself, so make him beat himself. Nice guy that Eddie. No idea what the point of this was.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Akio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Funaki vs. Shannon Moore

This is a Cruiserweight Open. The idea is a gauntlet match by random draw and the winner is the champion. Everyone comes out in random order and will stand at ringside rather than coming down the aisle. The first pairing is Paul London and Funaki who is champion coming in. Nothing special at all here as they go back and forth a bit. Chavo tries to come in but Spike (the former champion and a heel) drills Funaki in the back and London gets to roll him up for the pin.

Funaki hits Spike so London gets him and we’re down to four in less than two minutes. Shannon Moore is in at #4. More basic stuff here with nothing special going on. Shannon whips London into the corner chest first a few times. London hits two moves, a back elbow and the 450, to get the pin. Wow I hate these matches.

Akio (Jimmy Wang Yang) is in at #5. He beats on the tired London and hooks a chinlock in a freaking cruiserweight match. London has had maybe four moves total in his three wins. London gets a swinging neckbreaker off the top and both guys are down since there isn’t really any difference in how either guy lands. We get the double count and Akio doesn’t make it. I have NEVER seen anyone lose that way before.

So it’s Chavo vs. London for the title. London gets beaten down even more but hits a Dragon Suplex for two. This is probably about over which is what makes this even stupider. London makes a real comeback, hammering away with everything he’s got. A Dropsault gets two and then Chavo rolls him up with the ropes for the title. Chavo was in the ring less than three minutes.

Rating: F. I can’t stand these things. The champion got pinned in less than 100 seconds and the longest “match” was less than three and a half minutes. The pins are WAY too fast to be realistic and you can’t get into any pairing. Also London getting in nothing before the very last match was very stupid. I can’t stand these things and this as no exception.

We see a clip from Smackdown where Batista destroyed JBL’s limo after it almost ran him over on Raw. Show and Batista wanted to go after JBL but he ran away.

Show is worried about the cage. Or maybe he wants to eat a small animal, like a cow.

We actually get a graphic from Tazz explaining that you can win the cage match by pin, submission and escape. Apparently there won’t be access through the door.

Wrestlemania Recall: THE GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL! That might be the best Mania match of all time ever.

Time for round two of the Rookie Diva stuff. This is the talent competition. They have to reintroduce the contestants. There are only six matches on the card and yet they have to pad it out with THIS? There wasn’t something better to do than to put SIX Cruiserweights in the same match? Joy goes first and her talent is massage so she rubs Torrie’s back. I feel like I’m watching outtakes of NXT.

Rochelle tells jokes. They suck.

Lauren, who is SHORT, dances. Not bad but in essence she strips.

Michelle’s talent is slamming Dawn who has run her mouth the whole time. I’m cracking up at this: a person’s special talent in a competition about being the best in a wrestling company was WRESTLING. WHAT A CONCEPT!

JBL tells Josh that he’s not scared. Who would have guessed Josh is still on the payroll and JBL isn’t? He talks way too long as it’s very clear they’re trying as hard as possible to fill in time.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker

No story here. Reigns is part of Angle’s team and they don’t like Undertaker. That’s it. Reigns was just a big power guy that was pretty generic to put it mildly. Mark Jindrak is out there with Reigns. And so much for that as he gets thrown out. This is more time wasting if you didn’t get that. Is there a reason why we had six matches on this card? We get a clip from Smackdown where Reigns hit Taker with a camera just after he beat Jindrak.

Taker is only 12-0 at Mania here so you know it’s a long time ago. Basic striking contest to start and guess who wins there. Reigns gets the turnbuckle pad off but Taker blocks the shot into it. This is your standard big man vs. big man match here. Reigns goes back first into the buckle as I’m kind of surprised Taker is staying in control this long as it’s not something you often see.

Apron legdrop has Luther in real trouble. Ah there’s the low blow to get Taker in trouble so he can make his traditional comeback. His head goes into the buckle and it’s the same spot that got hit by the buckle. Basic power stuff focusing on the head by Luther here as nothing special is going on here at all. There is ZERO heat here as the fans know that Luther isn’t going to win and we’re just waiting for Taker to make his comeback.

Taker gets a jumping….double axe handle to take over. What the heck? When does he do ANYTHING but the clothesline there? Snake eyes are blocked and a big boot takes Luther down. The fans flat out do not care. Chokeslam hits but Tombstone is countered into a reverse DDT. Cole SCREAMS at us that it was a swinging neckbreaker which was Reigns’ finisher and he looks like a total idiot because of it.

Taz calls it the same thing. Seriously are they THAT stupid? He goes for the actual move and Taker counters into a DDT. The Tombstone ends it seconds later. Sweet goodness those announcers are idiots.

Rating: D+. Totally by the book match here which we’ve seen a thousand times from Taker. Reigns never really meant anything at all and would be gone relatively soon and never heard from again. Taker beating up muscle guys who hit their finishers on him is about as standard as you could want from him and this was no exception. Boring match but I’ve seen worse.

Teddy is worried that Batista isn’t here yet.

We get another Mania ad, this one from Basic Instinct with Benoit and Jericho interrogating Stacy. Stacy smokes and makes lesbian jokes about her and Trish which give Jericho and Benoit some, ahem, issues. Christian, who means nothing at this point, is there too. Mae and Moolah come in and flash the interrogators.

Time for the final round of this nonsense. Dawn won’t come out for this one. This is the swimsuit round and they come out to Candace’s music. Joy comes out in a jersey and the others in robes. I don’t think I ever remember seeing Michelle in a swimsuit. Joy is wearing little shorts over a thong and won’t take them off. Rochelle trips but catches herself.

Lauren’s is too big as this isn’t going anywhere at all other than, say it with me, WASTING MORE TIME. Michelle looks good but nothing that special. This is just stupid. Rochelle probably looks best. We poll the audience while we wait on the votes to be tallied. They like Joy, who is the hottest looking overall, best. Joy DOMINATES, getting 65% of the votes. Lauren gets 6%. Rochelle, Joy and Lauren were gone in a few weeks, making this even MORE pointless if that’s possible.

We recap the #1 contender’s tournament where the finals are tonight. In order, Booker beat Eddie, Cena beat Orlando Jordan, Taker and Dupree had a draw and Angle beat Rey, sending him to the finals. Cena beat Booker, setting up Cena vs. Angle for the spot in the title match at Mania. There’s a short thing about Angle vs. Cena too as you can see the star in Cena about to explode.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is the second hottest thing in the world at this point just after Batista. He’s US Champion here also. Angle doesn’t get much of a big hometown pop which says something about his heat gathering abilities. Angle takes him to the mat to start as they’re going to have a lot of time to work with here. He gets a pretty bad belly to belly into what can best be described as a reverse chickenwing which looked pretty awesome.

Cena makes a comeback and knocks Angle to the floor and is booed LOUDLY. They brawl onto the announce table with Cena in control. Release Fisherman’s Suplex gets two. I think the back in the ring aspect was a given there. Angle avoids the FU and hits the floor for a breather. You can see the look in Cena’s eyes and it’s awesome.

He beats Angle down in the corner but Angle reverses and hits a release German into the buckle which was a cool looking spot. We go to a body scissors and Angle loudly calls spots to Cena. I love little things like those for some reason. Angle wrestles him down every time and Cena responds by just punching him. Angle rolls the Germans for two. Cena gets up and hits a spinebuster for two.

FU is reversed into a sunset flip and then a belly to belly as Cena is in trouble again. Angle Slam is reversed and Cena gets a DDT for two. Tazz isn’t sure if Cena winning would be an upset or not. FU is blocked again into the ankle lock and Cena is in big non-trouble as he reverses, sending Angle to the floor. He gets the top rope Fameasser as Angle is getting in for two.

Angle charges at Cena but walks into the FU for a LONG two. Kurt kicks him in the knee and goes after the leg. Angle Slam hits after some submission holds get Angle nowhere. Ankle lock goes on and Cena is in the middle of the ring. Gee do you think he’ll tap? How can you get away with pulling a guy back to the middle after he has the ropes already? I’ve never gotten that.

And Angle shoves the referee down for no adequately explained reason. He grabs Cena’s chain off the corner which is apparently Cena’s pride and joy. Screw that US Title thing. FU hits and amazingly enough that gets the pin as the referee was down before that. Cena winning was a legit surprise here as I think it was still a huge upset. He would lose the US Title to Jordan before the PPV. Yes, Orlando Jordan beat John Cena for a title.

Rating: B. Solid match here but it never quite got into that high gear to make it great. Cena’s match would get about 10 minutes while Angle would have a classic with Shawn that went over twenty. Still though this this was rather good and both guys were working out there. I think that Cena had more skills than Batista but Batista was flat out bigger at this point. Solid match though but I wonder how much of that is because of Angle.

Batista still isn’t here.

The cage is lowered. We need to have a general spam discussion match on PPV one time.

The recap of the main event match talks about Jindrak and Reigns costing Show the title at the Rumble. Show wanted it one on one so we got this. Batista is mentioned here too but not how he fits in here. A lot of this is the same stuff from the earlier package.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Big Show

Basic stuff to start as JBL takes Show down with a flying tackle. He goes up but is afraid of the barbed wire. He tries a cross body and guess how well that goes for him. They’re staying away from the wire so far and it’s just a basic match for the most part here. Show is busted open after eating some cage. Bradshaw in full control here.

He rips the tag rope off the corner and chokes away with it. Show hits something like a superkick to put JBL down. Does Cole have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids? He can snap those things off like they’re nothing. Powerbomb by Show and JBL is in trouble. The fans chant RVD who was hurt at the time.

Cole says the cage is a carnivore. Why do steel structures always have to have lives of their own in this company? Show gets a slingshot (Cole says monkey flip) into the cage. Here’s Jordan to climb the cage. The Bashams cut through part of the cage but Teddy comes out, saying to leave. Jordan manages to slip some bolt cutters to JBL who pops Show with them and adds the Clothesline From Hell for two.

For some reason there’s more or less no reaction for the kickout from the world champion’s finisher. Chokeslam hits for two as well which gets kind of a reaction but nothing huge. Another chokeslam is blocked though as JBL kicks the little Shows and adds a boot to the face. The door is closed and locked and isn’t eligible for escaping.

Bradshaw climbs up and uses the bolt cutters to cut through some of the wire. Show gets up and knocks them out of his hand. JBL is slammed into the cage a few times as the wire has more or less meant jack so far in this match. Show grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through the ring, prompting a pretty weak holy expletive chant.

Show finds a safe spot and climbs down but he’s not sure what to do. Some things never change I guess. Instead Show pulls on the chain and lock which he rips apart with his bare hands. Well why mess with what works? He opens the door and climbs to the floor as JBL is declared the winner and still champion. While Show was wasting all kinds of time, JBL climbed through the hole in the ring and hit the floor first to retain. I love that ending because JBL followed the rules perfectly and Show’s reliance on power cost him.

Rating: D+. I REALLY wasn’t impressed here. If this was a regular cage match then it’s ok I guess but the barbed wire was just stupid. It did a total of nothing other than acting as a deterrent I guess, which a regular cage would have done just as fine or a cage with a top on it. This was a waste of time for the most part and didn’t work that well at all. Weak main event.

The Cabinet, JBL’s crew, comes out for the big beatdown and Batista comes out for the save. He’s in his gear of course. Don’t you travel like that? JBL tries to leave but Cena stops him. Apparently Cena vs. JBL is already made, which makes the signing of the contract totally pointless. Cena gives him a spinebuster onto the equipment. Apparently it’s either Cena vs. JBL or a triple threat. Yeah because I’m SURE they would let HHH have the night off right?

Overall Rating: D. This was bad. The Cena/Angle match is good and there’s some ok stuff elsewhere on the card, but the vast majority of this stuff is fast forward time. These split branded shows were just awful and this is a great example. They had SIX matches and had to give three different segments to the rookie Divas and nothing happened with them but they got about 15 minutes total. I hated this PPV but the Rumble and Mania were both good so they were allowed to have a bad show I guess. Take a pass here and find the better Cena/Angle matches elsewhere.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Great American Bash 2000
Date: June 11, 2000
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,031
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

 

Well I figured that since I’m halfway through 2000 I might as well finish the year off and for some reason I thought it would be better to start adding one on to the end at a time. Anyway the main event is Jarrett vs. Nash for the title with a huge swerve that would be blasted from one end of the world to another but that’s expected. The rest of the card is your usual WCW 2000 garbage so let’s get to it.

 

There are cops waiting on Goldberg to get here because I guess he isn’t here yet or something.

 

The opening video talks about the matches tonight, which has Flair vs. Flair and Hogan vs. Billy Kidman. Well ok then. No theme to it or anything, just a list of some matches.

 

Apparently Goldberg has been let out of a Nashville jail. Why is he in it? Who cares. Apparently he was in it though.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lieutenant Loco

 

Loco is Chavo Guerrero and is champion here. Chavo says he has a surprise for Disco: and it’s something that the announcers aren’t thrilled with him having. I don’t particularly care since they’re not sure either but apparently it’s something they would have gotten in trouble for having. Disco is part of the Filthy Animals here. Can we just look at Major Gunns and Tygress?

 

Everyone is chilling at ringside so it looks like a lumberjack match for the most part. Disco is in a Lakers jersey and Chavo is in blue camouflage so this is a rather weird looking match to say the least. Chavo takes over to start but Disco gets a hot shot to take over. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor for the quick beatdown by the Misfits. Scott dubs Disco the Hip Hop Inferno.

 

Big dive off the top by Chavo takes out Disco as this match is dragging badly. It’s not that bad but it’s just a bit boring to say the least. Back in the rind and Disco gets a slam and dances a bit. Some old dude in a helmet wanders out to hit on Tygress. Apparently he’s General Rection’s grandfather so Konnan shoves him down. While that’s going on Juvy comes in and beats up Loco but Lash Leroux takes out Disco and puts Chavo on top for the pin.

 

Rating: D. What a freaking mess. You have Chavo who was incredible at this point and Disco who was……well Chavo was incredible at this point so he more than could have carried a five minute match by himself. Instead this was a total wreck with no flow at all to it and barely any wrestling at all. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be a running theme tonight?

 

Some very bad actors dressed as cops tell Bischoff and Miller that their surprise for Nash is safe.

 

The Mamalukes say they’ll win. This results in a lot of bad Italian stereotypes. Apparently Vito claims to be the Hardcore Champion even though Johnny the Bull was supposed to be.

 

Order this show and get a Hulk Hogan…..inflatable raft? Dude…..why?

 

Kronik vs. Mamalukes

 

Winners are the #1 contenders. During the intros we’re assured that Goldberg WILL NOT be here tonight. Good to know indeed. The winner gets the Perfect Event. Apparently since the Mamalukes are in the New Blood they can defend the title using the Freebird Rule. Vito gets beaten down by Adams to start and they switch off. Clark hits a Rock Bottom to Johnny and the Italians are getting destroyed so far.

 

Vito comes back in and still has the belt on. I have a feeling that’s going to be a running joke here. Clark gets chopped and smacked in the chest a few times as Tony talks about how the Mamalukes walked into WCW and won the tag titles. Yes, that doesn’t bury the division in the slightest. Adams comes in to hammer on Johnny a bit. Full Nelson Slam kills Johnny for two. DDT gets no cover for Johnny as he brings in Vito instead.

 

Not that it really matters as Kronik hammers him down using the power of marijuana. Their name was Kronik and their finisher was called High Times. What do you think they were talking about? Clark botches what would become known as the F5, more or less dropping him on his head for two. Johnny comes in so Vito sits goes over and polishes the belt. A reverse cross body literally misses by four feet and High Times end Johnny a second later. Vito doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Rating: C-. Just a match really as there was no real need for them to fight other than for the sake of being the #1 contenders. Not bad or anything, but I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there. In other words, Russo lives! Let there be no defined faces or heels ever!!!

 

DDP has something special for Mike Awesome apparently.

 

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome

 

This is an ambulance match. Page’s surprise is Chris Kanyon in a wheelchair after Awesome threw him off a cage and broke his neck or something. And of course, Kanyon will NEVER turn on DDP EVER! They head to the floor and then the crowd almost immediately. Page gets a shot in to send us back to ringside very quickly as this is a big brawl. They somehow change momentum three times in 10 seconds and make it four in 12.

 

The referee is down also but that’s WCW for you. To the ring now as the referee is getting up a bit. Awesome comes off the top with a back elbow and a belly to back suplex has Page down. Tony thinks it’s odd that there’s no surprise yet, even though Bischoff kept saying it was for NASH, who hadn’t been seen yet. Awesome sets up a table as we talk about Kanyon a bit.

 

Powerbomb through the table as this is a match that was used in a clip on Whose Line Is It Anyway? Page is put on a stretcher because simply throwing him in the ambulance isn’t enough I guess. Awesome gets a chair shot in and we head back to the ring because winning doesn’t matter right? Top rope splash looks to kill Page and the second probably does. A third splash misses as Page is between a pair of chairs this time so he had to move right?

 

Here’s Kimberly because Page is out there. They’re having “problems” which were probably brought on by her heel turn. She hits DDP with a pipe so Miss Hancock (Stacy Keibler) comes out and drags her off. They’re “having problems” also apparently. Awesome looks for an Awesome Bomb off the top but Page gets a low blow and a Diamond Cutter off the top. The medical people put him on a stretcher and here comes Bischoff to take out Kanyon. And of course Kanyon comes out of his wheelchair and hits a Diamond Cutter to end Page. Awesome wins with ease.

 

Rating: D. The match was junk, but let’s take a look at the angle that ended the match. Kanyon was indeed thrown off a cage to the ramp. It’s not like we saw that off camera or anything. DDP took care of him and then Kanyon betrays him for the people that tried to cripple him in less than a month? Are we really supposed to buy that Awesome was able to convince Kanyon that Page was the bad guy? Or that Kanyon was in on this all along and that he went along with being thrown around like that? And people wonder why Russo’s booking is so criticized.

 

The announcers point out how stupid this is.

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. G.I. Bro

 

And here’s the latest way to waste a guy like Booker: he’s a military guy when there’s already a military themed stable. He comes in on a zip line like Shawn did at Mania 12, but at about 1/3 of the height and 1/10 of the speed. The announces speculate that Kanyon was the surprise because they’re not that smart. Oh apparently Booker is part of the MIA. It just wasn’t mentioned until here.

 

This is a Boot Camp match, which means Last Man Standing. Why they’re fighting isn’t required information but I’d bet it’s MIA vs. New Blood. They’re both in camo here because that’s what you do in the army right? Booker takes him to the floor and hammers away as we go into the crowd. WEAK chair to the head (drawing slight booing) takes down Stasiak for all of a second. A horrible top rope forearm gets about seven.

 

Oh and don’t worry: we’re willing to cut away to the back at the drop of a hat if Goldberg arrives. You know, because you paid your money to see a car pull into a parking lot 45 minutes into a show right? Jumping back elbow puts Booker down and they actually treat it like a move that could end this. Big spinwheel kick by Booker takes him down for no reaction for the most part.

 

Stasiak sends him to the floor and we head to the ramp for a suplex. Back in the ring as there’s no heat on this match in the slightest. Back to the floor again as they have no idea what to do with nearly 14 minutes total for this match. Chair shot puts Booker down on the floor and back in the ring a gutwrench powerbomb gets 9. Time for a sleeper because this match isn’t boring enough already.

 

The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them in the slightest. This is what we mean when we say adding a gimmick for the sake of adding a gimmick. They can’t even explain why these two are fighting and yet we’re supposed to want to see a gimmick match between them an hour into the show in the fifth slot? There’s no heat here and the only reason this gimmick is here is because someone has a military gimmick.

 

Book End hits out of nowhere and I don’t bother waiting to hear what the stupid military name of that is. They call it a uranage suplex here but screw that. Of course it only gets like five but it sets up the missile dropkick, as in both of his finishers that can’t take down Stasiak. Palumbo, Stasiak’s partner, comes out with the Lex-Flexor exercise bar but hits Booker low anyway. A shot to the back of Booker puts him down as Tony rants against relaxed rules in a match with no rules. Booker gets up and mostly hits a double clothesline and beats up the tag champions on his own. A shot to Stasiak with the flexor ends this.

 

Rating: D-. Oh give me a break. Someone thought that Shawn freaking Stasiak was the best use of Booker T here? I mean come on now man. There was zero reason at all for this to be a gimmick match in the slightest so they went with it anyway. Guess what is up next: a gimmick match. After that, another gimmick match. Before this, another gimmick match. This is a great example of Russo’s writing in a nutshell and one of the better ones you’ll ever see. Oh and the match sucked, easily the worst last man standing match I’ve ever seen.

 

Goldberg’s monster truck is here.

 

Page might still be here.

 

Kanyon says he’s positive DDP is gone. Make that Positively Kanyon. This was the start of Kanyon’s newest gimmick: he would imitate Page who had a new book out called Positively Page. This, of course, went nowhere of note. This somehow translates to Bischoff got to Kanyon in the hospital and brainwashed him. I give up.

 

The Wall vs. Shane Douglas

 

Douglas curses a lot before the match and apparently doesn’t like Flair and Hogan. Now this is no longer a tables match as we’re going to make it a best of five tables matches with Shane saying now we’re guaranteed five tables being broken. Thank you for admitting you’re going through at least two Shane. Ok now you have to put someone through five tables to win. PICK A RULE ALREADY!

 

It’s first to five now. Ok, let’s stick with that. Wall has a really stupid looking black goatee now so he looks like a cross between Hitler and Kurrgan. Again no reason given for why they’re fighting or anything because that would be important information right? Standard match to start as we continue to waste more time on this show. Douglas hits a suplex and a reverse Hennig neck snap.

 

Wall is sent onto a table but not through it. No one has gone through anything yet. They fight on the floor in maybe second gear at best. Shane tries a suplex through it but gets countered and Wall hits a chokeslam to go up 1-0. Wall blocks a shot into the post and gets a release belly to back suplex through the table as they change the rules in the middle of the match to make it best of five instead of first to five.

 

Back in the ring as Shane is totally fine after a pair of table breaks with a low blow. Shane wants to take it to the back but settles for by the stage instead. What a shock: there are a bunch of tables there with a ladder next to them. Shane goes up the ladder and there are either two tables on a stage or three in a row with a cloth over the bottom one. Wall has his back to the tables but wants a chokeslam anyway. Shane knocks him through it with brass knuckles as all of a sudden it’s just TWO tables again but they say Shane wins anyway as it switches from 3 to 2 to 3 again inside of five seconds. Just go on already.

 

Rating: F+. We get it: you can have gimmick matches. Was there a point to having this be a table match? Or even to have the match in the first place? NOT IMPORTANT!!! This is yet another stupid gimmick match as Russo treats its fans like idiots that are going to be easily fascinated by things being broken. Whatever dude.

 

Wall puts the referee through a table post match just because.

 

Hogan arrives, 75 minutes into the show in an old school Dodge Charger.

 

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Tank Abbot

 

Scott is US Champion here and this may or may not be for the title. We’ll say it is anyway as it would make sense…..yeah let’s just go with non-title. It’s also in the Steel Asylum. Here’s another brilliant idea of WCW. The Asylum is a small round cage about 10 feet in diameter that is lowered into the ring. No ropes or anything, just a small cage. And now Rick Steiner is added to the match to make it a handicap. Well sure why not.

 

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott

 

Scott is a face here if that wasn’t clear. Rick and Tank double team him for awhile and here comes the cage. The fans chant for Goldberg but even he couldn’t save something this stupid. They destroy Scott for a minute or so until Tank pulls out a chain. Rick pulls a Lee Corso (that name won’t mean anything to you if you’re not from America or into college football) and says not so fast my friend. Abbott hits Rick with the chain, Scott gets a low blow, Recliner keeps the title on him. Ok so it was for the title. Good thing they waited until after the match to tell us it was in jeopardy no?

 

Rating: J. As in just….no. It runs less than four minutes, two of which are spent hammering on Scott before the whole cage thing came down. The stuff inside the little ring of death or whatever is maybe 90 seconds long and the whole thing is just stupid. I guess this was so they didn’t need to have Steiner run or whatever. Just move on.

 

Flair is here, looking like Doc Brown from Back to the Future goes Hawaiian.

 

We recap Hogan vs. Kidman. Kidman got a fluke win over Hogan so this is the rematch. If Hogan wins, he gets a title shot next month (oh boy. It’s THAT show) and if Kidman wins, Hogan retires. Hogan’s nephew Horace is refereeing and doesn’t like his uncle.

 

Hogan says that he’s not worried here because blood is thicker than New Blood. So old > new. It’s like Hogan’s whole belief system broken down into one sentence. He mentions Goldberg and Nash and says if he gets into that it’ll be the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan

 

Horace comes out with Kidman. Kidman has some Shawn Michaels like pyro. It’s the NWO theme for Hulk here. Kidman goes straight at him….and is destroyed pretty quickly. There’s the big boot maybe a minute in so Kidman hits the floor. Torrie has turned her back on Kidman. Meaning she WILL NOT be here right? Kidman has had no offense at all so far.

 

Back to the ring and it’s time for choking. Hogan gets in Horace’s face which of course goes nowhere. Kidman comes back with some choking but a low blow with Horace looking right at them is ignored. Here’s the weightlifting belt which is Hogan going EXTREME I guess. Back to the floor and Kidman dropkicks a chair into the face of baldie. That gets two in the ring as this is as riveting as it sounds.

 

Hogan continues to do almost nothing but punch and choke. Oh wait he rammed him into the railing twice. Hudson makes sure to let us know that we’re here because of Hogan and no one else PERIOD. Back to the ring as Kidman hits a DDT onto the chair that is so bad it’s booed before Kidman can even cover. I mean Kidman is off Hogan who then SLOWLY lowers his head down onto the chair. This is horrible.

 

Kidman gets two again and yells at Horace for calling it unfairly or something. The fans chant for Hogan who I think is the face here, making him out to be a huge bully for hammering on a guy half his size. Here comes the Hulk Up against the guy called the Flea Market Champion. There are ten punches in the corner and a running clothesline. Back to the floor for like the 4^th time and Kidman is tossed through the table.

 

Here’s Torrie so at least we have something to look at now. She hands Hulk brass knuckles because he needs them I guess. Kidman knocks Hulk into Torrie and her ankle is hurt. Kidman gets a shot with the knuckles in for two. Horace shoves Kidman and now let’s get stupid as Kidman hits Horace with the knuckles. So if they were still on his hand, why didn’t he hit Hogan with them again instead of choking him? Torrie hits Kidman low and a shot with the knucks to Kidman ends this. Oh and Hulk and Horace are cool again.

 

Rating: D-. Hey look: another stupid match with a way overbooked ending and a gimmick to it. Hogan was never going to job to Kidman twice and now Kidman looks like just as much of a joke as he did before this whole Hogan thing. It’s the difference between a rub and being in the ring with someone. He wouldn’t do anything after this other than feud with Shane Douglas which went nowhere. It’s not a failure because Torrie looked good and that’s about it.

 

Bischoff yells at a cop about life in general.

 

Bash at the Beach is coming, sponsored by Master Lock. Yes, a lock company is the best they can get at this point.

 

We recap David Flair vs. Ric Flair with the idea being that Russo has brainwashed David into thinking that Russo is the father that David never have and it’s a big Ric vs. Russo thing.

 

Russo says this is going to be fun.

 

Ric says this is going to be fun.

 

Ric’s family shows up.

 

Ric Flair vs. David Flair

 

If Ric loses he has to retire FOREVER (which is how it says it on the graphics). With Russo on the floor we actually gets some wrestling here as Ric does most of the work, namely because he has about 100x the talent. David chops away in the corner and actually takes over for a bit. You know Ric is going to sell for his oldest boy. Ric gets sent into the railing and takes a decent delayed vertical suplex for no cover.

 

And so much for David’s decent run as we hit a bad sleeper. Ric suplexes out of it and we have a very basic match going here. David’s shirt comes off as this is going very slowly here. Out to the floor as Ric takes over again. We need to get to the next match so I can use last names again. Russo interferes and takes out the knee of Ric and handcuffs him. So the referee had his back to Ric and Russo and all of a sudden Ric is in handcuffs….AND THAT’S ALL COOL??? And people wonder why this company was called stupid.

 

David puts on the Figure Four which gets him nowhere for the most part. It does get Russo to hold his hands. Does that mean they’re going steady? Reid Flair jumps the railing and hits Russo in the balls and steals the handcuff key. The referee gets the key as David beats up his brother and frees Ric. Ric’s wife or daughter (like you can tell) cuffs Russo and Ric taunts him a bit. Ric beats on David for awhile before putting him out of his misery with the Figure Four.

 

Rating: C. Somehow this was by far and away the best match of the night so far unless I’m forgetting something. It’s not that bad, mainly because they let Ric walk the far more inexperienced David through it. They didn’t try to make this too complicated and that fits because David had very little experience and his character wasn’t much of a wrestler anyway. Not too bad here I guess, all things considered.

 

Ric chops Russo a bit post match. Russo rants about various things, making a match for tomorrow night between Ric/Reid vs. Russo/David in another retirement match which would retire Flair.

 

We recap Vampiro vs. Sting with the idea being that it’s a human torch match. You have to light the other person on fire to win. That’s nothing like the Inferno match at all is it?

 

Vampiro vs. Sting

 

There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.

 

Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.

 

As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.

 

And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.

 

Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!

 

Bischoff is talked to by some blonde chick in the back and doesn’t want to talk right now. There’s no big surprise. What is this, Monster A Go-Go?

 

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

 

Let’s get this over with. Ernest Miller comes out before the match and introduces the Filthy Animals, as in New Blood cronies (despite them leaving like a week before) to be bell ringer and time keeper and all that jazz. Oh and Miller is referee. Nash shoves him around a lot to start until the Animals distract Nash to let Jarrett taker over. Jeff is champion if I didn’t mention that.

 

Miller is on the floor. Nash hammers on Jarrett and literally everyone stops to look at the entrance and nothing happens. Now back to the match. Weird indeed. Snake Eyes puts Jarrett into the replacement announce table and we go into the crowd. Back to the ring after Nash beats on Jarrett a bit and it’s Jeff with chair shots to the knee. This is one of those matches where stuff goes on but nothing is really happening.

 

Jarrett works on the leg for a good while as we’re clearly filling in time before the whole surprise thing happens. No one buys that the surprise isn’t happen, so I don’t know why we have to waste 15 minutes before we get to it. Half crab to Nash who won’t give up because raising your arm three times in a row is too much effort I guess. There’s the figure four as we waste even more time.

 

The hold goes on for a very long time to the point where most people would have broken their leg already but since it’s Nash he gets to just roll around a bit while barely grimacing. Nash tries to get to his feet but Konnan hits him in the hands with the bell for a two count for Jeff. Nash, despite being in the figure four for two minutes after about five minutes of leg work and a shot to the head with a metal bell from a professional athlete, is able to take over and actually run to the corner to take out Rey.

 

Belt shot gets two as Disco makes the save. Juvy gets in a chair shot to take over as the fans chant for Goldberg. Miller comes in to referee with a two count as this is a total mess. The Animals get beaten down as Nash is fighting seven guys to a stalemate. Jarrett, the world champion, hits his finisher for only two. Well of course it was only two. I mean he’s just the world champion after all.

 

Guitar shot misses and Jarrett walks into a chokeslam for two as Miller has something in his eye. Tony actually shouts BOGUS a few times. Powerbomb to Miller and one to Jarrett but the third referee is taken out by Rick Steiner. Tank Abbott tries to come out but somehow Scott Steiner cuts him off. If Steiner wanted to help, WHERE WAS HE WHEN THERE WERE LIKE EIGHT GUYS ON NASH???

 

Everyone beats on Nash including a Bronco Buster from an unmasked Rey. And cue a big noise as Goldberg is here in his monster truck. Maybe that’s what the sound was earlier? His music kicks on and the place erupts. Goldberg is here….and he joins the New Blood with one of the worst spears you’ll ever see. Yes, the ultra star of the company, the ONE guy they still had that was a big face draw, is added to the super heel group as a Bischoff/Jarrett/Russo lackey. Jarrett gets the academic pin and the SHOCKED celebration ends this mess.

 

Rating: F. You mean, in a Bischoff/Russo booked company, there was a big time face that apparently had been in league with the big heel group the entire time and it was SHOCKING to end a PPV? WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? The match was awful as Nash wouldn’t sell, the insanity of it was stupid, and Jarrett looked like a guy off Tough Enough.

 

Trash pelts the ring to end this show.

 

Overall Rating: F-. I have no idea what they were going for here but it was one of the worst shows I’ve watched in a long time. The gimmicks were WAY too much and none of them worked at all. You had some bad wrestling, horrid gimmicks, a REALLY stupid heel turn to end the show, and Hogan as #1 contender. Let’s talk about that heel turn for a bit actually.

 

In essence what they were going with was Nash, Hogan and Steiner as the top faces against Bischoff, Russo, Jarrett and Goldberg. In other words, the old guys are the faces and the young guys (if Jarrett counts as a young guy) are the heels. There was one issue with this: Goldberg was so ridiculously popular at this point that he was cheered every time he was on camera, which shows one of two things.

 

One, Russo has no idea what a face is. Oh wait, according to him faces and heels mean nothing. Second, WCW is really freaking stupid. That much is a given so let’s go back to the first part. Assuming what he says is true (it isn’t) then why are there factions or matches at all? Oh that’s right again: Russo doesn’t like having wrestling on his shows. Tell me again, why is this guy praised so much?

 

Anyway, AWFUL show here and somehow it would only get worse with the absolute mess they had the next month with Hogan and Russo clashing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Nitro #39
Date: June 10, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Larry Zbyszko

 

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and other than that there isn’t much. The PPV was focused on the football players vs. wrestlers match and the world title was on the side. However, last week the invader (Hall) had promised a BIG surprise for tonight which we’ll get to later. With Sting having confronted him, it was pretty clear that this was going to be a huge angle. Let’s get to it.

 

On the theme song and opening video, there are six shots of people total. Three are Hogan.

 

We get a clip of Hall and Sting last week and them almost going at it.

 

Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

 

This would be huge about four years later. Basic anything you can do I can do greater match to start as I think this is face vs. heel but I’m not sure. Both escape belly to back suplexes but Scott gets a double underhook suplex for no cover. Booker manages to get a boot up in the corner kind of like a superkick to put Scott down. Scissors kick gets two.

 

Off to a front facelock and Booker controls. Spinning cross body off the top gets two. Larry Z giving wrestling advice to Booker is really weird for some reason. Scott gets something like a DDT to break the momentum though and here comes Steiner. We speed things up and Scott gets a belly to belly to put Booker down. Frankensteiner is avoided which gets two for Booker. A top rope splash misses and Scott hits another belly to belly to end it.

 

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here with two guys that were still (kind of) young and motivated and could give you a good match at this point. Also nice to see some young guys out there having some time to show off. Booker wouldn’t mean much of anything for like two years though and Steiner would be about 18 months away, so call this a very early preview.

 

Scott is talking about the match when Debra of all people interrupts him. She wants to talk about her husband and Scott leaves. Nice chick indeed. She talks about how this feud with the Horsemen is her fault. Gene says no it isn’t. She wants to call this off before Sunday and Gene says he’ll try to get something set up with Heenan. It’s not like this mattered because she and Mongo joined the Horsemen on Sunday.

 

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Powers

 

This is for the Battlebowl ring. Naturally we talk about the football thing the entire time because that’s all that matters. To be fair this is going to be a squash so it’s not like it’s as bad as usual. This is Powers’ debut and he’s wearing something similar to leopard print. Page hits a gutwrench gutbuster and stands around a lot. Page’s gum is kicked out and Powers gets some jobber offense in. The crowd does not care in the slightest about him. Powerslam gets two. Not that it matters because there’s the Diamond Cutter and we’re done.

 

Rating: D+. Just a long squash here and by long I mean four minutes. Bagwell faced Page for the ring on Sunday in a match I don’t remember in the slightest. Powers was just a jobber that didn’t mean anything as most jobbers tend to be. Nothing to see here as Page was far from meaning much at this point.

 

Recap of Benoit vs. Sullivan which entails Anderson and paranoia. Anderson said everyone would know where everyone stood on Sunday. The match was great too.

 

Video on Konnan who was pretty different back in the day and in a good way.

 

Konnan, the US Champion at this point, says that he’ll keep the title when he fights El Gato on Sunday. He’s such a legend that no one has ever heard of him.

 

Sting vs. Meng

 

This is more or less just a tune up for Sting for his match with Regal on Sunday. Meng be clubberin to start us off but Sting gets a backdrop to break that up. Meng does his monster that you can’t hurt thing as Sting hits the ropes for a bunch of clotheslines. Face jam puts Meng down but he gets a small package of all things for two. Shoulder breaker puts Sting down so Meng goes up. Sting manages to crotch him and put on the Scorpion for the kind of surprising tap. Not enough to grade but it was exactly what you would expect.

 

Heenan takes Flair to the Horsemen dressing room and shuts the door. Screaming is heard and here they come, beating up a guy named Joe Gomez who is supposed to team with Renegade to face them later.

 

Jim Duggan vs. Dave Taylor

 

Taylor is buddies with Regal. Renegade and Gomez have replacements apparently. The fans like Duggan of course. Oh and those replacements: the world tag team champions Luger and Sting and the titles are on the line. The match of course means little but at least it’s got a point. Taylor cost Duggan a match last week so here you are. After some basic stuff it’s more basic stuff in the form of kicking and punching. There’s the taped fist which is hanging from his hand as the referee counts the pin. Freaking blind idiot. Short and more or less nothing.

 

Video on the Cruiserweight Title which is finally in America. Malenko defends against some guy that is debuting on Sunday. Mysterio I think his name is.

 

We recap Tenta vs. Bubba which is something no one really wanted to see other than them but whatever. Hart says Tenta wasn’t pulling his weight. Bubba says he’ll win and that’s that.

 

Here’s Scott Norton to talk for some reason that no one knows. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak. He didn’t like getting chokeslammed last week so he’s coming for revenge tonight.

 

Scott Norton vs. The Giant

 

We get the stupid countdown to the second hour as we wait on Giant’s entrance. Don’t think this is for the title. Norton goes right at him and gets powerslammed for his efforts. Norton comes back and hammers away but we go to the floor and he misses a splash into the post. Chokeslam out there and we’re done. Less than a minute and a half but Norton was impressive here as he took it to Giant. It didn’t work but points for trying at least.

 

Luger comes out post match and Giant massacres him. Luger kicks him low to prevent a chokeslam through the table. A champagne bucket to the head just ticks Giant off and Luger heads to the announce table. He says throw the rules out on Sunday because he’s ready for the big man.

 

Video of the Nasty Boys on some TV show with Dennis Rodman, who is made an official Nasty Boy.

 

Kevin Greene was on the Tonight Show and talked about the match. He picked the name Shallow Grave apparently.

 

Steven Regal vs. Billy Kidman

 

Kidman is a total rookie here. I think this is his WCW debut. Regal kills him for a bit but Kidman gets some stuff in and busts out a 450 (kind of) which misses. Regal puts on the start of a Liontamer but steps on Kidman’s head instead for the tap in less than a minute.

 

Sting comes out for the save post match.

 

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

 

Please….be gentle. Public Enemy runs out during the Nasties’ entrance and the fight is on. There’s the WCW trademark for tag team brawls: split screens where all four guys can be seen on one screen. Knobbs and Grunge are in the ring so we’ll say they’re legal. Middle rope clothesline takes Grunge to the floor as the Nasties are the big faces here. Ok finally into a regular match.

 

Grunge has a broken hand. Sags takes both of them down with a double clothesline and it breaks down into a brawl quickly again. Sags hits a Piledriver as we take a break. Back with Public Enemy in control. Knobbs takes down Grunge but can’t bring Sags back in. There’s Jerry who hits a World’s Strongest Slam on Rocco for two and it breaks down again.

 

Rocco tries to leave as Grunge unbandages his bad hand/arm. Oh ok Rocco left to get a garbage can. Pumphandle slam by Sags looks to set up a middle rope splash from Knobbs but Rocco breaks it up. The trashcan is brought in and the Nasties get caught using it for the DQ. Kind of a stretch given what they had done before that but I can live with it.

 

Rating: D+. Yeah it was bad but it could have been a lot worse. They know how to make brawls decent and they had the right idea here to not make them act like they could work a competent technical match. I wanted to hate this but I really couldn’t do it in good faith. The Public Enemy would actually be tag champions later in the year.

 

Video on Hogan who punches a lot.

 

We recap the coaches being added to the football player match. This is set to a bad country song.

 

Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

 

This should be good and there’s a lot of time left. Flair and Luger start us off as the bell rings twice. Luger beats him up and tosses him with ease and does the same to Anderson. Big old gorilla press puts Flair down again. Flair does the Flair Flip in the corner but runs into a right hand from Sting to put him down. Bischoff mentions the concept of Nitro Parties. I never got the appeal of those but they became a big deal.

 

Sting comes in to beat up Anderson for a bit as the champions have dominated the entire time so far. Sting does his double nipup both times he’s pulled down by the hair. Anderson and Flair both get taken down so Flair runs off to grab a chair. The Horsemen chill in the aisle as we take a break.

 

Back with Anderson being pinballed between the champions before Flair comes in to face Sting. Hard to screw this one up. Flair gets a slight advantage and then goes up top. If you don’t know what happens here, go somewhere else. Top rope clothesline gets two for Sting. There’s a superplex for two. Ric goes to the classic thumb to the eye and it’s off to the Enforcer.

 

Spinebuster gets two. Arn does his jump into the air when the other guy is on the mat and Anderson jumps into the legs between his balls for a funny reaction spot. Off to Flair instead who can’t suplex Sting. Sting gets an O’Connor Roll for two and a weird small package for the same. Off to Anderson as we take another break.

 

Back with Flair sending Sting into the guardrail. Back in Sting gets the backslide but Flair makes a blind tag to bring Anderson back in. Sting gets a knee to the nether regions and falls into the tag to Luger. Powerslam gets two on Luger. Luger hits a double clothesline to put both guys on the floor and here’s Giant for the DQ.

 

Rating: B-. Eh it’s Sting/Luger vs. Flair/Anderson for about 18 minutes. This is one of those matches that is going to be good due to just sheer talent in the ring. They know what they’re doing and they’ve fought so many times over the years that they know each other perfectly, which often helps with matches. Flair and Anderson would win at the PPV and the Horsemen would be back.

 

Giant gets beaten up by Sting, Luger and Scott Steiner but just gets mad because of it. Giant says Luger is dead to Gene.

 

Heenan starts to rant about Savage and here’s Hall in black this week. For some reason the screen splits here into two identical images. Bischoff asks where the surprise is and turns around to run into Nash’s chest. He says they’re not here to play (“Look at the adjective: play.  We ain’t here to play.”  Play is a verb, Kev.) and wants WCW’s three guys. Nash blasts the old guys in the company and wants to know where Hogan and Savage are. Bischoff invites them to the Bash and says he’ll try to have their fight there. That would result in Bischoff being powerbombed off the stage.

 

Overall Rating: C+. Well the Bash was a two match show and they built those up quite well. Anything else you get out of it was a bonus and you had a decent main event and a story running through the entire show so this wasn’t too bad really. The Bash wasn’t all that good but considering what happened a month later it’s not like it really mattered. Pretty decent show this week.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Payback and the main story tonight is HHH vs. Axel II, assuming the match actually happens. Last week Vince and Stephanie talked him out of it, which made for a less interesting show than it could have been otherwise. I’d look for the match to be pushed back again until Payback, where HHH likely puts Axel over….in theory. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and the McMahon’s issues from last week. As in we recap the WHOLE THING.

Curtis Axel vs. HHH

Axel is a bit hesitant to get in the ring. The bell sounds odd for some reason tonight. HHH pounds away in the corner to start and hits a quick suplex for two. Here’s Vince of all people to say that the match is over with Axel winning via DQ at about 90 seconds. This can’t end well.

Actually scratch that as HHH says restart it. The match continues for a few seconds and here’s Vince again to say HHH loses via forfeit. HHH starts it again and this time it’s a 60 minute iron man match. This time Vince takes the bell away and the match just ends. This was less than five minutes from opening to closing bell.

Ryback and Cena will be face to face tonight.

Post break Stephanie begs HHH to think of Vince because he’s old and doesn’t have much time left. HHH says he’ll talk to Vince if Stephanie goes to calm him down first.

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean pounds on him in the corner but gets caught by a big boot to the face for two. Kane takes his turn at pounding away in the corner and hits a backbreaker for no cover. It looks like Kane has a huge bald spot on the right hand side of his head. Ambrose is whipped into the ropes and hit with another backbreaker as the referee brings out the bell. Dean misses a charge and is sent to the floor where he jumps into an uppercut as we take a break.

Back with Dean kicking Kane in the ribs as we see Orton watching in the back on the WWE App. Kane comes back with a boot to the face before tossing Ambrose into the corner. Dean is slammed face first into the mat before being taken into the corner. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ambrose bails to the floor as Reigns comes in for the DQ at 11:23.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it was mainly just killing time until the DQ ending. That’s getting really annoying in the singles matches with the Shield involved but it’s the best they can do because they don’t want to job the Shield. Why they didn’t just job Kane is beyond me, especially in a non-title match.

Sheamus vs. Sandow is on the pre-show Sunday.

You can pick Rollins or Reigns to face Bryan tonight.

Rollins wins 66-33. Orton will face Reigns.

We get a clip of Bryan accidentally dropkicking Orton on Smackdown.

Orton and Bryan are arguing in the back when Kane comes in and says to chill. Apparently they have matches against Reigns and Rollins tonight. I know this because Kane helpfully explained the graphics we say a full 40 seconds ago. Vickie comes in and makes Orton/Bryan vs. Reigns/Rollins and Kane vs. Ambrose for the titles on Sunday. Kane is so happy that he hugs Vickie with a goofy grin on his face.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Barrett is on commentary as we’re told that Fandango won’t be allowed to compete in the triple threat match, meaning Barrett defends against Miz alone. Miz pounds on Rhodes to start and hits the corner clothesline for no cover. The top rope ax handle misses though and Cody goes after Miz’s knee. A front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a modified Indian deathlock on Miz. Not that it matters much as Miz counters into the Figure Four for the tap out at 2:36.

Heyman comes out before Miz and Fandango leave and announces that Axel is replacing Fandango in the triple threat. Axel says that him winning the IC Title on Sunday would be the perfect ending to the match on Sunday.

Mark Henry is coming back.

We recap the opening of the show.

Vince and Stephanie are in the back but Vince won’t look at her. She knows he’s upset and is just trying to protect Hunter, but HHH is a proud man and Vince stepped all over him out there. Vince doesn’t like this idea of him not having much time left and is mad at HHH for making Stephanie cry. He cares about business first and Stephanie agrees, but business has to come first. If Vince tries to talk to him, Stephanie will be even more upset.

Here’s Jericho for the hard sell before his match with Punk on Sunday. He talks about how the two of them came into the business with a huge chip on their shoulders and they both think they’re the best in the world. They’ll continue their awesome trilogy that was started last year and Punk will never (EVER!) forget him.

This brings out Ziggler who says that he’s making his triumphant return here to steal the show from Jericho. Dolph talks about stealing the show every night and that on Sunday he’ll prove that he’s better than Del Rio in every way. Jericho cuts him off and asks Ziggler if he wants a tuneup match tonight. Ziggler says sure…..but with Jericho facing Langston. The match is after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Big E. Langston

This is joined in progress with both guys on the floor before Jericho heads inside for a quick baseball slide to take Langston down. Big E. whips Jericho into the steps to take over and heads in for some shoulders tot he ribs. Alberto Del Rio is ranting about something on the WWE App as Langston charges shoulder first into the post, giving Jericho a two count. Langston runs him over for the same result and pounds away for good measure.

Jericho fires back with an enzguri for two but his cross body is caught in a trio of backbreakers for two. Chris comes right back with a top rope cross body for two of his own but a Ziggler distraction lets Langston run him over with ease. A Del Rio distraction breaks up the Big Ending though and it’s a Codebreaker for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. Jericho is fine for a spot like this, but the Del Rio vs. Ziggler feud has lost so much steam over the last few weeks due to Ziggler’s injury. There’s no shame for Langston to lose to someone like Jericho, but it’s a bad spot for him to be in when he could be such a huge deal with the lightest tweaking. Good enough match here but it was nothing great.

Jericho celebrates as Ziggler tells Del Rio no way.

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

Zeb Colter is at ringside, claiming that Cara snuck across our borders in the middle of the night but Cesaro is ok because he came into the country legally. So why was Colter not ok with Barrett months back? Sin Cara hooks a quick wristlock before getting slammed out of the corner for no cover. The gutwrench suplex sets up a powerslam for two before Cesaro pounds away on Cara’s face.

A double stomp gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Cara hooks his spinning headscissors and a sunset bomb for two. Cole rants about Colter making money in the foreign country of Puerto Rico as Cesaro catches a cross body in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A spinning chinlock (you read that right) sets up the Neutralizer for the pin on Sin Cara at 3:52.

Rating: C. I could live with Cesaro as Colter’s new guy, although it doesn’t fit with past continuity. If nothing else it would give Cesaro ANYTHING else to do instead of the vacuum he’s stuck in now. Sin Cara is long past being a bust and it’s kind of sad to see him lose time after time like this anymore.

Bray Wyatt and the Family are still coming.

Vickie and Brad Maddox plug the new Hardee’s burger until Vince comes in to glare at them. Vince is ticked off about Ryback and Cena going face to face tonight because it could put the PPV main event in jeopardy. Vickie’s answer is to cancel the match tonight (they have a match?) but Brad suggests to have the lumberjacks out there as security. Vince is pleased and tells Vickie to share her burger with Brad.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match here’s Daniel Bryan to be in Orton’s corner. Orton pounds away on Reigns to start and gets two off a dropkick. We get an abbreviated Orton Stomp and a knee drop to the chest for two but Randy goes after Rollins on the floor. Seth’s distraction does nothing for Roman as Orton drops him back first onto the barricade for two back inside. Orton misses another kneedrop and Roman takes over to stomp away in the corner.

Orton comes right back with the Thesz Press and some right hands in the corner to take over. Randy goes to the middle rope on the inside but a Superman punch knocks him to the floor and us to a break. Back with Roman holding a chinlock as Bryan plays cheerleader on the floor. Randy fights up but gets taken down by a running clothesline for two more. Kane is watching in the back on the WWE App! LIVE! Off to another chinlock by Reigns but Orton suplexes out of it to put both guys down.

Randy is starting to feel it and hits a bunch of clotheslines followed by the backbreaker to counter a Samoan Drop. Reigns rolls to the apron like an idiot, earning himself that Elevated DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Orton has to put Rollins in position for the Elevated DDT. Reigns makes the save but Bryan hits the suicide dive on both Shield members for the DQ at 12:30. Make that a no contest because WWE is afraid to call a DQ for some reason.

Rating: C+. Again, as we not allowed to have Shield get a finish in a one on one match? I understand the idea of not wanting to have either guy lose going into the PPV on Sunday, but maybe they shouldn’t be having the match six days before the PPV. The match was pretty good for the most part, other than one too many rest holds by Reigns.

The next match begins immediately.

Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins

Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and fires off the kicks followed by a knee to the ribs. Daniel alternates between knees, elbows and kicks with the YES chants getting louder and louder every time. Rapid fire elbows to the chest get two and hooks the double knee stop out of the surfboard. Rollins runs to the floor, only to be taken out by a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. Bryan hits the running knee off the apron for two back inside as Rollins is in big trouble early on.

Seth avoids a right hand and hooks the Downward Spiral into the middle turnbuckle for two. In a nice move, Rollins uses Bryan’s own surfboard against him but Daniel quickly escapes and fires off kicks to Seth’s leg. There’s a surfboard on Rollins but Bryan pulls his head down into a Dragon Sleeper for extra pressure. Seth elbows out and we take a break to come back with Seth holding a chinlock. A forearm to the face gets two for Seth as Cole lists off a bunch of channels the show is airing on that no one but WWE cares about.

Back to the chinlock by Rollins as JBL talks about how awesome this show is. Bryan fights up and ducks an enziguri into a half crab but Seth is quickly into the ropes. Bryan fires off some kicks in the corner followed by a pair of running dropkicks for two. Back up again and Rollins hits the enziguri for two before firing off Bryan’s own kicks against him. Daniel’s hurricanrana is countered into a buckle bomb for two as the fans are all behind Bryan.

Seth kicks away in the corner but is backdropped out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked by a forearm but Bryan hooks Douglas Williams’ Rolling Chaos Theory suplex for two. Bryan gets crotched on the top rope but escapes a superplex into a belly to back superplex which is countered into a midair cross body for no cover. Orton takes out Reigns before he can interfere, allowing Bryan to roll up Rollins for the pin at 15:30.

Rating: B+. That’s more like it! I get that you can’t have great matches all the time, but at the same time you need to have some high quality matches like this every now and then. Bryan is just MAD over right now and if they tweak his character in anything more than a minor way they’re insane. He’s ready for a main event push RIGHT NOW but I’m afraid they’ll be worried about the sagging ratings and ignore how over he is because he’s not “a draw”.

Post match Orton hits an RKO on Rollins and the fans go INSANE with YES chants and the Bryan pointing.

In case you missed it the first two times, here’s another recap of the HHH/Stephanie/Vince stuff. Oh and Curtis Axel is in there too.

WWE does stuff with the Special Olympics.

It’s time for Kaitlyn’s secret admirer to be revealed and it’s…..Big E. Langston. He hands Kaitlyn some flowers and says that this is odd because he’s such a big guy who constantly beats people up. However since he first saw Kaitlyn, she’s all he can think about. Kaitlyn looks very nervous as Langston leans in to kiss her, only to drop her on the mat instead.

Cue AJ because it was a SWERVE! She yells at Kaitlyn about feeling worthless because Kaitlyn was never there when AJ was having her heart broken. Instead of being there, Kaitlyn was off chasing the Divas Title. AJ can beat her mentally because Kaitlyn is trash and no one cares about her. The only thing Kaitlyn has of value is the title and that’s gone on Sunday. AJ says that Kaitlyn can go back to her trailer park after the match on Sunday but the brawl is on now with Kaitlyn being left glaring at the crazy chick.

Bray Wyatt quotes the Bible (what happens to a man who gains the world but loses his soul?) and says they’re coming.

Damien Sandow vs. R-Truth

This match has two purposes: hyping up Sandow as having a chance on Sunday and letting Jerry Lawler drool over a burger and shake from Sonic. Sandow quickly takes it to the floor and rams Truth back first into the apron before pounding away on the ribs. Back in and Damien stomps Truth down before hooking a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and the Silencer is good for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D. Sandow has no chance on Sunday. There’s nothing else to talk about here at all.

Post match here’s Sheamus to congratulate Sandow on his win and say that he’ll kick Sandow’s head off at the Payback kickoff.

Stephanie is in the back and sends a messenger to find Vince for a meeting in their office. She sends another to find HHH for a meeting in their office.

Video on Ryback’s path of destruction towards Cena for the Three Stages of Hell match on Sunday.

Vickie and Maddox bring out the lumberjacks (the entire roster) to protect Cena and Ryback from fighting. We take a break at 10:55 with this and the McMahons to go.

Back from break with Vince and HHH arguing in the back with Stephanie in between them. She SCREECHES at them to stop and work it out because she’s tired of it. Vince won’t apologize because he wants HHH to be more than a legend or a big deal or a champion. He wants HHH to be THE MAN. HHH wants a match with Curtis Axel and Vince likes the idea but they get in an argument over who wants to see the match. Then Stephanie comes back in and asks for a group hug. Vince says he’ll hug Stephanie and HHH can hug them both. The guys slap each others’ backs hard and that’s it. Seriously, we spent all night setting up THAT.

It’s 11:03 and here’s the world champion for the first time tonight. Ryback stands in the aisle but Cena is ticked off that this isn’t really face to face. They argue about the same things they’ve fought about for weeks: Ryback should have been champion but it’s Cena’s fault, Cena says that Ryback should take account of his own failures because THE CHAMP IS HERE. Ryback says he can see Cena and the legend ends when Ryback wins the title on Sunday in three stages. Cena wants to fight now but the lumberjacks hold him back. They get in the ring and the brawl is on, but both guys are held back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the problem with Raw in a nutshell: it’s a solid two hour show but the extra sixty minutes of filler drags it down. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s been the problem for nearly a year since the show went to three hours. There are some solid stories and interesting action on here, but the constant recaps of stuff we saw 45 minutes ago and the incessant commercials for WWE App make this a chore to sit through at three hours. I’m sure the solution is more Vince, Stephanie and HHH though, because there’s no way they’re taking it back to two hours.

Results

HHH vs. Curtis Axel went to a no contest

Kane b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four

Chris Jericho b. Big E. Langston – Codebreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Small Package

Damien Sandow b. R-Truth – Silencer

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 1997
Location: Montagne Center, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 4,834
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re only a few weeks away from Final Four and the main event was set last week. Oddly enough Shawn wasn’t on the show after he won the world title at the Rumble. My guess is tonight is his big moment after last week’s Bret centered show. I get the idea of pushing the main event of the PPV, but at the same time shouldn’t the focus be on the champion instead of his challenger? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bret whining and the announcement of the fourway match at Final Four for the title shot at Wrestlemania.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Crush

During Ahmed’s entrance we get a video of Savio turning on Ahmed in a tag match but not joining the Nation. Ahmed goes after the Nation lackeys (Faarooq and Savio are nowhere to be seen) to start but gets jumped by Crush as the bell rings. Johnson comes back with a quick slam and an ax kick for no cover. Crush gets kicked in the back and has his head smashed into the mat by Ahmed’s boot. A corner splash and a kick to the chest put Crush down and Ahmed stands around again.

Crush rolls away from an elbow drop before putting Ahmed down with a belly to belly. He stays on Ahmed’s back due to Johnson’s lacerated kidney as Faarooq comes out to watch from the entrance. We take a break and come back with Ahmed dropping Crush down onto the mat to break what looked like a chinlock. Crush gets two off a backbreaker but jumps off the middle rope into a dropkick to give Johnson a breather. They head to the floor for a second and Faarooq runs out for a cheap shot by whipping Johnson into the steps. Back in and Crush’s heart punch (exactly what it sounds like) gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was pretty slow but it continues the story of Faarooq vs. the Nation which had gone on for months by this point. The idea was that Johnson couldn’t handle the Nation on his own but having him lose all the time didn’t do him much good. Crush was fine for a power lackey though and it fit him much better given his real life prison sentence around this time.

Ad for Thursday Raw Thursday. We’ll get to that one soon.

Here’s Shawn for his first interview after regaining the title. Vince talks about Shawn vs. Sid III on Thursday Raw Thursday and about the Boyhood Dream. Shawn says it isn’t a dream but a reality and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep the title against Sid. Vince asks him about the fourway and which person he’d like to face, but Shawn of course doesn’t answer.

Shawn talks about how all of the potential challengers have a bad side and right now it’s bringing out the worst in everyone. Vince says it brings out competition so here’s Bret Hart with something to say. Bret says that he wants Shawn to do whatever he has to do to come out of Thursday Raw Thursday (who named it that anyway? It sounds so strange) as champion because Bret wants to beat him at Wrestlemania. He wants it so bad that he’ll watch Shawn’s back against Sid.

Vince now brings out Undertaker who says that Bret has earned his respect after their wars, but Taker is tired of hearing about Bret getting screwed. If anyone has been screwed over the years, it’s Taker himself and it’s time for the title to come to the dark side. That means Taker vs. Shawn at Wrestlemania, so Shawn better give his soul to the Lord because his body belongs to Taker.

Now it’s Austin’s turn to say he’ll fight Shawn at Wrestlemania. Instead of going to the ring though, Austin has JR come down the aisle with him carrying a microphone. Austin says he’s tough but he knows an ambush when he sees it coming. He’s thrown them over the top rope before and he’d have done the same thing to Shawn if he had the chance. Austin starts walking to the ring but turns around, only to run into Vader. Trash is talked but nothing physical happens.

British Bulldog vs. Doug Furnas

Bulldog grabs a quick headlock but gets dropkicked out to the floor for his troubles. Back in and Furnas hits a charge in the corner and a suplex for two each. Bulldog throws Furnas out to the floor and then into the steps before dropping said steps on Furnas’ back. Why this isn’t a DQ is anyone’s guess but we take a break before we can get an answer. Back with Ahmed trying to break into the Nation’s locker room. Bulldog has Furnas in a chinlock before pounding on the back.

Bulldog easily shrugs off a comeback big as this match just keeps going. Furnas blocks a piledriver attempt with a backdrop but is almost immediately caught in a suplex for two more. Back to the chinlockery as Owen yells about how bad of a Canadian Furnas is. Furnas dropkicks Bulldog down and gets two of his own off a powerslam.

Bulldog counters what appears to be a rana attempt into a powerbomb for no cover as Owen and his Slammy get up on the apron. We get some heel miscommunication with Bulldog going into the trophy but Furnas only gets two. Not that it matters as Bulldog counters a sunset flip into a rollup for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D. So let me get this straight: we’re supposed to buy Furnas and LaFon as contenders to the tag titles after they lose a non-title match and Furnas can’t beat Bulldog even after Owen blasts Bulldog in the head with the Slammy? It’s pretty clear why the tag division was in such a shambles at this point.

Post match Owen and Bulldog get in an argument over the mistake with Bulldog throwing down the Slammy and his tag title belt. Scratch that as they shake hands a few moments later.

We go back to MSG to see more of Savio turning on Ahmed.

We also get a clip from Shotgun Saturday Night with Savio saying he hasn’t joined the Nation. He then had a match with Rocky Maivia and revealed that he had joined the Nation. Well that’s certainly a swerve, a full seven minutes in the making.

For just $1.49 a minute, you can find out Sid’s secret weapon for the world title match.

Video of the press conference to announce Tiger Ali Singh has signed with the WWF. If you don’t remember that name, keep it that way.

Vader/Mankind vs. Godwinns

Mankind and Phineas start things off as we hear about Royal Rumble Raw next week, which will be the Rumble airing on Raw. It’s quickly off to Henry who wins a slugout with Mankind. Mankind is knocked into the corner but would rather rock back and forth than tag Vader. After a quick skirmish on the floor it’s time for Vader vs. Phineas. Vader easily knocks him into the corner and goes NUTS, pounding Phineas down into the corner.

Mankind comes back in for the Mandible Claw but Henry clotheslines them both out to the floor to break it up. Henry is pulled over the top and out to the floor to start a big brawl as we take a break. Back with Phineas missing a charge at Mankind before a double tag brings in Henry to pound on Vader. Henry actually slams Vader down but gets punched in the face a few seconds later. They head to the floor with Mankind swinging a chair and hitting Vader by mistake, earning the Godwinns a countout win.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse and Henry looked great in the brawls with Vader. The Godwinns were one of the few regular tag teams around at this point but their time was already over. It looks like we’re heading towards Vader vs. Mankind which is odd given that Vader is already in the world title scene at this time.

Ahmed finds the Nation and swings at their car as they speed away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event stuff was pretty good here but all the other stuff dragged the show down. The tag stuff was nothing interesting and the Ahmed vs. Faarooq stuff isn’t enough to carry a show. It was nice to have the champion on the show and thankfully his segment was really strong. Unfortunately the rest wasn’t and the show was pretty dull as a result.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and we have most of the card set up already. With Foley now fired and apparently legit gone from the company, it appears that Immortal is back in control again. Also we’re likely to get the final push to Sting vs. Anderson which will see Sting/Young vs. Anderson/Gunner. Anyway, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week of Foley being fired and Immortal having full power again. Hogan is looking extra orange here.

Hogan and Bischoff open the show. Hulk says that the Network finally woke up and got rid of the selfish Foley. Eric says that Foley did have a few good ideas such as the name of the show and that wrestling matters. Eric assures us that the X Division is going to be presented in a fair and balanced manner. First up though he wants the contenders in the world title match to come down here right now.

Here are Anderson and Sting. Hogan talks about how awesome this company is now. They’re not going to go through this with the Network again. Hogan gave his word apparently and he meant it. At Slammiversary there will be a winner and a loser with no gimmicks or agendas. Also there will be no run-ins. If either guy has a problem with that speak now.

Anderson raises his hand and says that he’s been making fun of Sting for weeks because everything Sting stands for is a joke. Anderson is in this for Anderson and on Sunday, he’s getting the title back. Sting says he’s got a lot he’s going to do about that. There are a lot of things he wants to do around here and he’s going to do them because he’s champion. One of two things has to happen: Hogan and Bischoff have to leave or the real Hogan has to come back. He gets in Eric’s face and calls him an infection, blaming him for Hogan being the way he is. Hogan needs to cut away the cancer, and he’s certainly capable of it.

Knockouts are up next.

Mickie James/Tara vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

Can we just get to the lesbian stuff already? Tara has the motorcycle back. Tara and Winter start us off. Angelina doesn’t seem interested in tagging in so Mickie and Tara work on the arm. I guess Mickie is all cool about the whole Tara running her over a few months back thing. Off to Angelina who wants Mickie. Tara instead hits a spinning side slam and it’s off to Mickie. They hit a wheelbarrow splash for one as Angelina does her zombie thing again.

With Tara accidentally distracting the referee, Winter is able to get a powerbomb in the corner on Mickie for two. The zombie chicks take over on Mickie now as she plays Ricky Morton for a bit. Mickie hammers back and that gets her nowhere. Blind tag brings in Angelina but Mickie hits a dropkick to take her down. Everything breaks down and Madison comes down to distract Tara, allowing Angelina to hit her backbreaker on Mickie for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C. Not bad here but really just a standard tag match. It sets up the Mickie vs. Angelina match on Sunday which is fine. Nothing too bad but Madison might have been a bit too much out there. Angelina’s chest looked great though so that balances out the questionable ending.

Beer Money and Shelley are ready for their match tonight and on Sunday.

Mexican America says they’re tired of getting less every time.

We get a video of Samoa Joe and Crimson fighting in a bar which is filmed via phone apparently. Joe beats the tar out of him.

Jeff Jarrett gets here and doesn’t want to talk about Karen so he walks off.

The Brits are on commentary here. Well at least Magnus is as Williams stands behind the desk.

Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley/James Storm

 

Anarquia and Shelley start us off. The champions I guess do some of the Guns’ offense which Storm modifies for his own style. I like that as it plays up the best of both world dynamics. Shelley gets caught coming off the top and Hernandez hits his slingshot shoulder to take Shelley down. We keep cutting to Magnus talking so it’s hard to see everything that’s going on.

Shelley tries to fight back but gets caught by the power of Hernandez. Slam sets up a missed splash off the top by Supermex and there’s the tag to Storm and one to Anarquia also. Everything breaks down and Hernandez is knocked to the floor. Storm has Anarquia covered but the girls distract the referee. Sarita gets beer to the face and Shelley kicks Storm in the face, allowing Anarquia to get the pin on Storm at 4:30.

Rating: C. Pretty decent tag match here as we can see the problems that the guys unfamiliar with being partners. I liked how Shelley and Storm worked together out there but I’m not sure I get the point in having them lose. Have miscommunication and let them win still to make it look like they’re having issues but can still win on Sunday. Either way not bad here.

Gunner comes in to see Anderson and Anderson asks for help against Sting, implying he’ll repay the favor later. They’re cool apparently.

Mexican America comes in to see Hogan and wants a title shot. Hogan gets all ticked off and says quit telling me what to do or he’ll turn into the Terminator and play a game of Hulkster Says with the ladies. Mexican America is going to do something when Hogan least expects it. Ok then.

Preview of Angle/Jarrett with the main focus being on Angle. He says he’s not worried about this Sunday and says that he can beat Jarrett this time because there will be no Karen to distract him.

We open the second hour with more talking of course, this time in the form of Jarrett and Angle. Jeff says Kurt is going to listen tonight rather than it being them going back and forth. Karen is gone apparently and won’t be at the PPV. Jeff has had to think about that for seven days now and the first thing he did was panic. He panicked over what Kurt will do to him when it’s one on one. Jeff reminds everyone that he brought Kurt in and Kurt is the best in history.

However, Kurt never thanked Jeff for bringing him in. Kurt wasn’t happy about being the best in the company and the real star. It was always about making people forget about Jeff. Then Jarrett wanted to take everything dear to Kurt, so he took his wife and kids. Now he wants to take away Kurt’s place on top and he won’t sleep until he owns it.

Kurt finally gets to talk and thanks Jeff for taking Karen out of his life for good. All he’s ever wanted was Jeff one on one but Jeff had to keep bringing Karen into it. Kurt isn’t wasting any more words on him because on Sunday, his wrestling will do the talking. Then Jeff will see how real this really is.

ODB doesn’t like how Velvet presents herself and ODB will how Velvet what wrestling is tonight.

Kaz and Kendrick have Janice and are looking for Abyss. Kendrick says Abyss is his type of guy. They say they’re going to go find him.

Bully Ray is here for an open challenge. On Sunday he’ll be the last man standing because he’s a man. I wonder if he’s 40. The challenge is for everyone other than D-Von. Here’s a surprising person to take it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

 

RVD does his poses and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. All Ray so far as he uses his basic brawling stuff. RVD finally gets in a kick to send Ray into the corner. Monkey flip doesn’t work and Ray hammers away again. AJ is chilling in the stands watching this. Ray hasn’t seen him yet but he does now. The distraction lets RVD recover long enough to counter the Piledriver. Springboard kick sets up the Five Star and we’re done at 3:30.

Rating: C. This is barely gradeable as the majority was Ray hammering on RVD and then the AJ distraction. RVD had a total of about four moves in this. Remember a few weeks ago when he and Angle had one of the “biggest matches in Impact history”? And now he has a three and a half minute match with Bully Ray that he needs AJ to help him get through. Things change so fast in wrestling it’s unreal.

We get a clip from English TV of Angle trying to get back on the Olympic team.

Kendrick and Kaz are still looking for Abyss and they actually find him reading The Art of War again. Abyss talks about how he doesn’t need Janice anymore and calls the X Title the Extreme Title. There can be a three way at the PPV. Kendrick gets into a big philosophical rant and Kaz just leaves.

We run down the card for Slammiversary.

ODB vs. Velvet Sky

 

ODB isn’t under contract apparently so she comes out next to the broadcast table. Sky jumps her before the bell and the brawl begins. Velvet is sent into the steps and hurts her knee as we finally head into the ring and start the actual match. ODB covers immediately but only gets two. This is a sloppy brawl and barely even a match at all.

Velvet can’t get going due to the knee injury but has a chance to breathe due to ODB yelling at the referee. She argues even more and Velvet can’t do anything. The announcers make stupid jokes and we get more arguing with the referee. Velvet finally wakes up and stomps away in the corner. Out to the floor again and Velvet gets her back rammed into the post. Fall away slam sets up more yelling and Velvet grabs a DDT for the surprise pin at 5:12.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this at all as it was about five minutes of stomping, choking and yelling. I guess that’s the end of this feud and if so that’s not saying very much. Pretty weak match here and the only real perk was Velvet looking good. Any match where I have to watch ODB slap her vagina is a bad one.

Eric Young is all stupid again and talks about unifying the titles and Who’s The Boss before Sting yells at him again. He wants him to drop the comedy for one night and let the competitor come out.

We get a clip from Xplosion where D-Von and Pope have been having issues. Pope came out to save D-Von from Mexican America. D-Von doesn’t like Pope being around his kids and wife.

And now let’s have our main event.

Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Eric Young

 

Big match intros kill some time. The slow bell for this makes me chuckle for some reason. Sting vs. Anderson to start but we get the traditional fast tag from Anderson to bring in Gunner. Sting gets the splash in the corner very quickly and adds a second one, both of them to the back. Apparently the second was because a spot was messed up as after the first Sting intentionally turned his back to Anderson. He did it again the second time in the same spot and Anderson drilled him.

Anderson works over Sting in the corner now and it’s off to Gunner again. He works on the ribs with an abdominal stretch and here’s Anderson again. Sting gets a clothesline and it’s off to Eric who cleans a few rooms, adding a big top rope elbow to Gunner. He fakes blowing mist at Anderson but celebrates too much and is rammed into Sting. That counts as a tag somehow and Gunner hits the F5 on Sting for the pin at 6:00. Oh and Young celebrates on the floor.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? Who in the world thought it was a good idea for Gunner of all people to get a pin on Sting to end the show? I don’t get this at all and the main event is the longest match of the show at 6:00. Not a fan of that at all and I don’t get what they’re going for here in the slightest.

Back and Young doesn’t get that they lost. Sting is mad.

AJ says the plan is coming together. Ray pops up and says he didn’t back away. Agents break it up.

Sting gets something out of his bag and Anderson talks about how he didn’t break a sweat. Sting comes up and Anderson runs. They go into a trailer and Sting beats him down then puts paint all over Anderson’s face. This is Sting snapping I guess. He chokes Anderson out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a bad show tonight but it was rather paint by numbers. Nothing really happened here but it was a go home show for the PPV and they covered the big matches for it pretty well. That being said it was another match where everything kind of dragged which is never a good thing. Definitely not a bad show but really just kind of there at the end of the day. That main event brought it down though.

 

Results

Angelina Love/Winter b. Mickie James/Tara – Backbreaker to James

Mexican America b. Alex Shelley/James Storm – Anarquia pinned Storm after a superkick from Shelley

Rob Van Dam b. Bully Ray – Five Star Frog Splash

Velvet Sky b. ODB – DDT

Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. Sting/Eric Young – F5 to Sting

 

Here’s Slammiversary if you’re interested:

 

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/06/12/slammiversary-2011-some-very-questionable-stuff-but-tnas-best-ppv-of-the-year/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 1997
Location: Montagne Center, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 4,834
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re past the Rumble and Shawn Michaels is the WWF Champion once again. The main story though is that Austin won the Royal Rumble despite being eliminated by Bret earlier on in the match. Bret is rightly angry and odds are he’ll have something to say about that tonight. We’re on the way to Wrestlemania now and things are about to get awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with the announcers narrating a video on last night’s show, focusing on the two main events.

Here’s a ticked off Bret to open the show. He starts yelling at Vince for lying about Bret getting a title shot if he beat Stone Cole. Bret got his shot but as luck would have it, Shawn Michaels was on commentary for the title shot and cost Bret the title. Then he had to beat 29 other guys in the Rumble, but even after winning that he still doesn’t get a world title shot. The way Bret sees it, he’s been screwed by Shawn, Austin, the WWF and Vince himself. Since he isn’t going to get a title shot, Bret quits and leaves through the crowd.

This immediately brings out Austin whose mic doesn’t work. He threatens to equipment guy with violence for giving him a bad mic before telling Hart to quit whining and go back to Canada. As for Austin, he’s been ripped off for six years and tonight he’s being screwed over again by Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla has made Austin vs. Undertaker tonight because Sid has a concussion, so Austin has some bananas to stick somewhere on Gorilla.

Vince walks out of commentary to find Bret.

British Bulldog/Owen Hart vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

Owen and the Bulldog are tag champions but this is non-title. LaFon starts with Owen as they trade some wristlock counters. They run the ropes a bit before Phillip superkicks Owen down and tags in Furnas. Doug gets two off a quick belly to belly before Owen comes back with a spinwheel kick for no cover. Off to Bulldog who walks into a hurricanrana before it’s back to Lafon. Bulldog pounds away but gets caught by some kicks to the ribs and a jawbreaker for two.

The non-champions work on Bulldog’s leg but a blind tag brings in Owen for a missile dropkick for two on Furnas. Back from a break with Owen dropping an elbow on Furnas for two but the Sharpshooter is blocked. Hart breaks up a hot tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two.

Bulldog comes back in with the delayed vertical suplex for two of his own as the match continues its slow pace. Back to Owen for a chinlock before he misses a top rope splash. A double tag brings in Bulldog and LaFon with the powerlifter LaFon snapping off suplexes. LaFon is on a roll but Owen blasts him in the face with a Slammy, allowing Bulldog to hit the powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it never really got going. Furnas and LaFon are very talented but they never reached their potential in WWF. Both guys were better showcased in Japan where they had the time and platform to show how good they really were. Owen and Bulldog were pretty good tag champions but the lack of competition hurt them a lot.

Video of Shawn’s entrance last night.

Video of Ahmed Johnson chasing Faarooq out of the Rumble last night.

Bart Gunn vs. Faarooq

This is when the Nation was still Faarooq, Crush and Savio with other unnamed guys (D’Lo Brown, PG-13 and others). Faarooq runs Bart over as JR makes fun of the Robin Hood episode of Nitro. Bart cranks on the arm with a hammerlock and drives knees into the arm. We take a break and come back with Faarooq stomping away and hitting a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock on Gunn followed by some stomping for two. Gunn ducks a top rope shoulder block and gets a quick two off a bulldog. Bart has to go after the rest of the Nation and Faarooq gets in a cheap shot on the floor. Back in and the Dominator ends Gunn.

Rating: D. This was a long squash which didn’t accomplish much. The Smoking Gunns being broken left Bart with nothing at all to do other than job until the Brawl For All. Nothing to see here though as Ahmed vs. Faarooq is delayed even longer than the months we’ve already had to endure it.

Here’s Vince with Commissioner Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla can’t change the winner of the Royal Rumble, but Austin isn’t going to be getting the title match at Wrestlemania that easily. Instead at In Your House there’s going to be a four way No DQ match for the world title match at Wrestlemania. The participants: Undertaker, Vader (both were illegally eliminated by Austin), Austin and Bret Hart.

This brings out Austin who says you can’t have a fourway match with Bret having walked out. There’s no instant replay in the WWF so you can’t keep Austin from his title shot at Wrestlemania. Austin gets in Monsoon’s face before yelling at Vince instead. Bret comes back through the card and the fight is on with Austin. Hart takes over and rams him into the steps as we take a break.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Bret brawls with Undertaker during his entrance but Austin jumps Taker as Hart is taken away by the referees. They head inside with Austin stomping away before having his head slammed into the mat. Old School connects and Austin is in trouble in the corner. Austin comes back with a neckbreaker and kicks Undertaker down during the situp. Austin chokes away on the ropes and rams Taker face first into the buckle.

A clothesline gets two on Taker as Lawler screams at Austin to work on Taker’s injured ribs. Instead it’s off to a chinlock as Lawler is now at ringside shouting about the ribs. Taker hits Austin low but Austin hits the Stunner out of nowhere for no cover. We cut to the back where Vader and Bret are being pulled apart. We take a break and come back with Austin pounding away on a downed Taker. Austin goes up and gets crotched but finally listens to the King and goes after the ribs to maintain control. Taker comes back with a clothesline but here’s Vader for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was ok but the Lawler stuff was kind of distracting. Since when has he either cared about Austin or gotten involved in something like this? That and the ending was disappointing but understandable given the match that was just announced. Austin and Undertaker never had good chemistry either and it really shows at times.

Bret comes out as well and a long brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They really need another hour at this point as they’re still having a ten minute squash featuring Bart Gunn instead of anything else. The main event stuff is interesting but they have to fly through it along with several other stories in order to make things fit. Also, where was Shawn the night after he won the world title in his hometown? Not a good show but once it hits two hours things should be stronger.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Slammiversary 2008
Date: June 8, 2008
Location: DeSoto Civic Center, Southaven, Mississippi
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

We’re actually in Mississippi but it’s called Memphis since it’s so close. Either way, this is the anniversary show and the main event is Joe defending the title in King of the Mountain, which no champion has ever retained in before. There’s also another 20 minute AJ vs. Angle match so I can’t complain much about that. These TNA shows are pretty easy to sit through actually. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about how awesome Memphis is and has a guy that is supposed to sound like he’s a blues rocker. Lots of Elvis lyrics are used and we have a wedding tonight.

 

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz

 

Williams is champion and has Scott Steiner/Rhaka Khan with him. Petey also has a broken orbital bone so he’s in a mask. In a nice move, Kaz has on a wristlock and Petey tries to roll through it. Kaz grabs him into a rollup as he tries to for two. That looked good. They hit the mat into some pinfall reversals and Kan escapes the Destroyer attempt. Kaz gets a slingshot dropkick in the corner for no cover as Petey hits the floor.

 

Kaz fires off some kicks and the fans are split. They go to the floor and Khan distracts Kaz enough to let Petey get a tornado DDT off the apron to take over. Petey takes over but Kaz gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. O’Connor Roll gets two and the kickout puts Kaz on the floor. Petey hits that SWEET slingshot rana to take over again. The fans are split again and it fires Kaz up a bit.

 

Petey works the arm as that comeback was pretty short lived. Kaz gets in a big kick and both guys are down. He fires off a bunch of strikes and hits a release spinebuster for two. Slingshot DDT gets the same. The fans say this is awesome and I’m not entirely sure I’d go that far. It’s good but not awesome. Williams speeds things up and the Canadian hits a Russian on the American.

 

He loads up the Destroyer but Kaz escapes. Petey hits a cool move that looks like a fisherman’s suplex but he slings backwards into a DDT instead. Kaz fights back and tries the Flux Capacitor (C4) off the top but Petey escapes that also. There’s very little selling in these matches at all. Another Destroyer attempt is countered into the Fade to Black for two.

 

Khan comes in so there’s an enziguri for you. The distraction lets Scott slide in the pipe (that’s what she said?) and Petey kills him with it. Kaz is busted but he kicks out. Destroyer attempt #8 is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Sharpshooter but Kaz counters into the Wave of the Future (spinning downward spiral) for two. The referee JUMPED over them to get there and got to three before Williams kicked out but who cares about that? Steiner distracts Kaz and it’s enough for Petey to hook the Destroyer and we’re done.

 

Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys looking good. Kaz was getting a world title shot on Thursday so this was a bit worthless by comparison. Obviously he would lose there but that’s another story. This was fast paced but the lack of selling started to show in the middle as nothing could keep someone down for more than ten seconds.

 

Scott Steiner rants about not being on the show tonight or not getting (another) title shot. Steiner says he’s going to screw Kaz tonight. Uh………….oh there’s Abyss to keep this only rated PG-13. Steiner throws Petey at Abyss who takes the biggest Black Hole Slam EVER. There’s one for Steiner and one for Khan too.

 

We run down the card which is how we roll around here.

 

Eric Young pops up with a microphone and says Elvis is here. Oh geez.

 

Video on Nash who is guest enforcer tonight in the main event.

 

Nash is with JB and says this is all about money and Joe is more of an investment than a friend. If Joe wins tonight, Nash wins. If Joe loses tonight, Nash loses.

 

Video on how the Knockouts are better than the Divas. That’s true around this time.

 

Here are some shots of Memphis including Graceland.

 

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

 

Moose is a chick that is almost as tough as Kong and is the mascot of the Beautiful People. She broke her leg in a hardcore match in an indy company and hasn’t been seen in TNA since. The Beautiful People leave Moose in the ring and she gets triple teamed. Roxie has the really short haircut here due to losing a match at Sacrifice. Gail and Moose officially start us off.

 

And make that Roxie as everything breaks down quickly. The Beautiful People try to leave but Gail and ODB don’t let them. Moose gets a flapjack for two. Off to Velvet who likes being on top of Roxie. The heels take over on Roxie and Moose hits a bad looking TKO for two. Velvet puts on an Octopus Hold and bites the hand at the same time. Hot tag to Gail who cleans house, putting all three chicks down and hitting a top rope cross body on Velvet for two.

 

Angelina takes out Kim’s bad knee and the heels take over again. They must have some time to work with here. Love works over the knee and my goodness we have psychology in a match involving breasts. Edit: breasts that don’t belong to Joe. They really are better than the Divas. Half crab goes on for a bit to work on the leg more. Moose comes in for a bridging Indian deathlock as Gail is in trouble.

 

There’s a Brock Lock (over the shoulder leg bar) but Gail gets the rope again. The referee is in a bowtie and shorts. That’s quite a look. Gail finally breaks free and there’s ODB off a tag. Thesz Press gets two on Moose and it breaks down again. ODB picks Moose up and hits a British Bulldog style powerslam for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. I liked this and the knee work was a nice touch. Gail has a bad knee coming in and the announcers pointed it out so it’s not like it was hard to miss. Little things like that one can add up a lot of points in a match and this is a good example of it. That made sense for the heels to go after and they did, showing some thinking which is a big part of psychology.

 

Video on Rhyno who says he’ll win King of the Mountain and the title.

 

Rhyno says he’s made peace with Christian (that wouldn’t last) and his second chance starts tonight.

 

We talk about LAX vs. Team 3D which is streets vs. hardcore. They’re only 20 time tag champions at this point. LAX won some way too complicated tournament final last month to get the titles and this is the rematch.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

 

3D are the heels. Knowing them though they’ll turn twice on the way to the ring though. D-Von vs. Hernandez to get us started. Ray has a chain to start but it gets taken away. I hope the referee at least said please. The fans want tables almost immediately. Good sign in the crowd: “D-Von! Get the table dancers!” The champs dominate to start but it’s off to Ray pretty quickly.

 

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

 

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

 

The referee misses the hot tag and the half brothers beat Homicide even more. By trying to stop homicide, does that make them vigilantes/crime fighters? They go up top and Homicide bites the ear and hits a jawbreaker to take D-Von down. There’s the double tag and the fans do not care at all. Hernandez gets a back drop to Ray, prompting him to shout DIOS MIO!!! The delayed vertical hits D-Von for two.

 

Homicide comes back in with a top rope cross body for two. What’s Up is set up for Hernandez but Homicide makes the save. Salinas and Hernandez do What’s Up on Ray with Ray saying come on. Johnny Devine comes in and is taken out by Hector. Ok then. D-Von takes Homicide up top but Hernandez makes the save, resulting in a Gringo (Diamond) Cutter off of Hernandez’s shoulders for two. Everything breaks down again and Ray hits SuperMex low. They set for 3D but Homicide rolls up Ray while D-Von is waiting on Hernandez to turn around for the pin. I like that.

 

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but the ending was good. The problem here I think is that we saw the same match the previous month at Sacrifice so it’s not like this is some great new idea here. Salinas’ looks are the best thing about it with the ending coming a close second. Not great but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

 

Video on Roode who says he’ll win KOTM. He got in first so he’s been able to study all of his opponents the longest. That makes sense.

 

Roode says he’s wanted to prove he’s main event material for his entire run in TNA. He looks around the locker room and sees guys that have done it rather than just talking about it. The talking stops tonight. Pretty good promo here and it was kept simple.

 

Video on Kong being awesome. Hey that was funny. She has a $25,000 challenge thing going on at the moment which would eventually be claimed by Taylor Wilde (I think). Kong is Knockout Champion here too.

 

The idea is she fights “fans” who are of course plants. JB issues the challenge and hey look it’s Serena of the Straightedge Society and Sojourner Bolt. Serena is hot with hair. Bolt goes by Josie Robinson.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Serena Deeb

 

Deeb is in street clothes. She said she had been training in MMA and tries some not MMA stuff and Kong takes over quickly. We’re out to the floor quickly and Kong swings her into the railing like a giant swing. Kong goes after Bolt too and back in we go. Implant Buster and we’re done. This was a total squash.

 

Post match Kong shoves Bolt and we’re getting a second one.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Josie Robinson

 

Josie (Bolt) jumps Kong and gets in some shots which actually work. Kong punches the post by mistake and we’re in the ring now. Never mind as the spinning back fist kills Bolt dead. There’s a clothesline and the Awesome Bomb ends this. This was a squashier squash than the first one.

 

Post mauling….Eric Young comes out. Kong is still in the ring at this point. Young brings out “Elvis” who is booed off the stage. Everyone is just waiting on Kong to eat him. The fans just do not care and it’s obvious. Young has already left and Kong is like dude….what am I doing here? There’s an Awesome Bomb and the fans couldn’t be happier. They couldn’t get Honky Tonk Man for this? I ask because of the next segment which will make that make more sense.

 

Video on Christian who says he’s getting the title back.

 

Christian says he wants to get the title back because he still loves being the best. His win/loss record is better than anyone else over the last year and he wants to be considered among the best ever after tonight.

 

We recap the wedding with Jay Lethal and So Cal Val. Sonjay Dutt has a crush on Val and is trying to steal her away. Lethal had a bachelor party with Christy in a cake which was better than most bachelor parties if nothing else.

 

First though, a picture of Beale Street which is where the blues were born.

 

There’s a minister in the ring that looks like Ian McKellen. First of all here are the groomsmen: Ace Young of American Idol, Kamala (IN A TUX!!!), Jake Roberts (see what I was getting at with the Honky Tonk….oh man Jake is bombed), Koko B. Ware (with green hair and Frankie) and George the Animal Steele…who isn’t here. Oh ok he just didn’t come down the entrance. If there’s ever been a man that lives a gimmick like him, I want to see it.

 

The maid of honor is some chick I’ve never heard of and Dutt is the best man. Yeah because THIS couldn’t go badly right? Lethal comes out to Pomp and Circumstance which is almost appropriate here. Val is indeed stunning in her dress. We get to the speak now part and nothing is said. Jay (in sunglasses) says I do. Val is about to and heeeeeeeere’s Sonjay!

 

Jay says it’s cool and Sonjay says he’s talking to Val. He asks her to marry him instead. Lethal gets in his face and a brawl breaks out. The American Idol guy comes in and gets cracked in the head for the pop of the night so far. Koko lays Dutt out for a bit so here’s Kamala. He and Koko beat on Dutt and Steele wants in too. Jake pulls out the snake (the animal one, not his) and Kamala runs in a nice bit of continuity. Dutt gets some snake and Steele has a turnbuckle. This feud would go on for about 5 months before Val FINALLY turned on Lethal for Dutt who was released soon after and it was never mentioned again.

 

Video on Booker just like the rest of the people from earlier in the night.

 

Booker talks about signing with TNA and being given nothing after he arrived. He’s coming to take the title because it’s what this is all about. We get a WWE reference and he kind of morphs into King Booker as the promo goes along.

 

We recap Kurt vs. AJ. This is about Karen and AJ allegedly having an affair. I think this is around when they were legitimately separating so this is pretty weird stuff. Kurt thought there was cheating so Kurt had his friends destroy AJ and then beat him with a chair. AJ is out for revenge.

 

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

 

Think this will be good? Tomko is with Angle. The fans like AJ more than Kurt. They hit the mat and guess who wins that part. AJ speeds things up and sends Angle to the floor with an armdrag. Back in and Angle tries to speed it up so AJ hits that dropkick of his to take over. Tomko talks some trash to let Angle get the fingers to the eye. Jesse Ventura is smiling somewhere off that.

 

Angle tries to speed it up again and he hits the post shoulder first. Springboard forearm puts Kurt down but he knocks AJ to the floor. Hebner stops Tomko from interfering and the bald man is gone. Kurt protests so AJ fires off a huge flip dive that Angle was too far back for so only AJ’s legs hit Kurt. It looked scary for awhile. Back in now as it’s time to get to the meat of the match.

 

AJ gets some two counts off basic moves. It’s kind of weird seeing AJ in control like this. Angle takes over and works over the back a bit as some annoying fans have those sticks with 2 on them. He fires off some forearms and AJ might be bleeding from the nose/mouth. Kurt snaps off a belly to belly and a vertical one gets two. Another backbreaker gets two. Kurt pounds away in the corner and puts him in a superplex position but AJ counters in midair almost into a gordbuster.

 

They slug it out and AJ grabs a pumphandle gutbuster for two. AJ starts in on the neck. This is Kurt’s first match back from a month off due to a neck issue. Angle busts out the rolling Germans but AJ reverses the last one and hits a release German on the American hero. A discus punch is ducked and Angle gets a release German on the American non-hero of his own.

 

Angle stalks him for the Slam and AJ is gone. Somehow he counters into a DDT as Tenay isn’t sure what Angle was going for. How did he used to be called the Professor? He sounds like Mary Ann at times. Angle rolls through a Clash into the ankle lock but AJ rolls through that. There’s the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. AJ goes up and Angle climbs the corner and hits the belly to belly for two. Ankle lock is countered and Styles hits the Pele for two as Kurt grabs a rope.

 

Another Clash attempt is countered into the ankle lock again and it’s in the middle of the ring. These two tend to have matches based around the idea of who can hit their finisher first. The good thing: the finishers actually FINISH the matches. Well there goes the referee as AJ kicks the hold off. Angle is sent to the floor and here’s Karen with a chair. She gets Kurt’s attention but won’t let go of the chair. AJ gets up and uses the distraction to hook the Clash and gets the pin.

 

Rating: B+. Another good match here from these two but it wasn’t as good as their last man standing match from a few months later. AJ hadn’t hit his best period yet but it was coming. Their best ever was probably at Hogan’s debut show but that’s a different story. Either way this was another good match and was great for the second main event.

 

Angle pops him with the chair post match and Tomko runs interference to keep security out. The ankle lock goes on and Angle pounds away a bit.

 

Joe says he’ll keep the title. He talks about wanting it to be about wrestling and not the politics or the opportunists etc.

 

Video on the King of the Mountain match through the years. It’s kind of a mess but it’s TNA’s mess. The idea is there are five people and the referee holds the belt. You have to pin an opponent to qualify to win. The person pinned goes to the penalty box at ringside for two minutes. Once you get a pin, you’re allowed to attempt to hang the belt. As in there’s a hook above the ring like a belt would hang from in a ladder match. Now you have to take the belt and put it over the ring, hanging it up there. Make sense?

 

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

 

No one in history has come in as champion and left as champion. Nash is guest enforcer. Everyone gets a video on their way to the ring so this takes a LONG time. Now let’s have big match intros. The entrances for this match have been going over ten minutes already. Nash is the referee holding the belt and we’re FINALLY ready to go. It’s a big brawl all around to start with Rhyno and Christian working on Roode and Booker fighting Joe in the ring.

 

Scratch the in the ring part as they’ve switched places. Rhyno and Christian destroy Roode with a lot of double teaming but here’s Booker. Booker shoves Christian off the top to the floor and he’s holding his knee. The axe kick and Gore both miss and here’s Joe again to fight Rhyno. Joe gets a running boot and a backsplash for two as Roode makes the save. Roode tries a flying clothesline but Joe just steps to the side. I still love that.

 

Christian is back in now and the knee looks ok. He hits an inverted DDT on Roode but gets struck down by Joe. Scoop powerslam gets two for Joe. He ties the Canadian in the Tree of Woe and hammers away and is in total control here. Booker trips him up and pulls him to the floor, pounding away out there. Booker comes back in and meets Rhyno with a Book End for a pin. Booker is now eligible to hang the belt and Rhyno is in the box for two minutes.

 

He’s got the belt now and Nash isn’t happy. The ladder is brought in and Christian hits a baseball slide to send it into the faces of Booker and Joe. Christian sends Roode over the top and here’s Rhyno out of the box. He and Christian go at it even though they’re friends. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Joe trips him up and crotches him against the post. Joe is like screw it and hits a spinning dive to take out Rhyno, Booker and Roode all at once.

 

Christian is like I can top that and goes on top of the box and dives off to take out all four of those guys. Christian channels his inner Dudley and sets up a table on the floor. Back in the ring Captain Charisma has the ladder but Roode gets a chair from somewhere and pops it against the ladder into Christian’s head for the pin. Roode and Booker are now eligible. Less than thirty seconds later, Rhyno rolls up Roode to become eligible too.

 

Nash beats up Roode to make sure that he gets in the box along with Cage. Rhyno goes up with the belt but Booker makes the save. Joe hooks a cobra clutch on Booker and Cage is freed from his namesake. He goes on top of the penalty box and hits a frog splash onto Booker to become eligible and send Booker to the box. Roode is out as well. Quick recap: Everyone but Joe is eligible and Booker is in the box.

 

Roode goes up but Joe suplexes him off the ladder. Now Christian goes up and is taken right down with a big cutter off the ladder. Gore hits Joe and everyone is down. Booker is out of the box and can’t even stand up. Ok maybe he can as he grabs the belt and blasts Nash and Rhyno and Joe and Roode. Down goes Christian too, leaving Booker as the only person conscious. Since he’s mostly a heel though, he stops for a Spinarooni.

 

Nash comes into the ring and powerbombs Booker off the ladder. That makes sense given that he was provoked. Joe tries a MuscleBuster on Christian but he escapes. Joe knocks Christian through the table from earlier as Roode sets up the ladder. Roode goes up but Joe takes him down with a MuscleBuster. Joe immediately goes up and hangs the belt to retain. That was a fast ending but it was effective and smart.

 

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was a pretty solid King of the Mountain match. I don’t think many people were thinking Joe would lose here, namely due to a lack of an A-List challenger outside of maybe Booker or Christian. The idea here was how does Joe win it and he did a good job of that here. Pretty fun match despite the traditional insane rules this match has.

 

Overall Rating: B. Can’t complain much on this one as it’s a solid show all around. They didn’t try for something epic and in exchange the show worked. The big matches are good and the majority of the matches are good so there aren’t many complaints. The company was doing well in 08 and the mixture of young and old is a big reason why. Then they focused on just the old and things went downhill but that’s TNA for you. Good stuff here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Hosts: Cast of A-Team

It’s Viewer’s Choice tonight so we get three hours and both brands. That’s always fun if nothing else and I have begged for this to be a TV special instead of a PPV like Taboo Tuesday or Cyber Sunday for the better part of ever so I’m happy here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bret and Teddy Long in the ring, talking about tonight’s show. Bret wants to talk about Orton. Of course that means cue Orton with his arm in a sling. He wants Edge tonight and if he doesn’t get him he’ll go find him. So if he doesn’t get him he’ll go get him? Yeah….that makes sense. Edge of course comes out and that’s the Viewer’s Choice main event. Oh in case I forgot, tonight is Viewer’s Choice. The options are a debate, a sit up contest, or an arm behind the back match.

Now it’s time to have our first actual vote which is for Jericho vs. Show. The options are Over the Rope Challenge, Submission Match and Body Slam Challenge. It’s one of those shows I guess.

Striker has the results. He’s actually good in a roll like this.

Over the Rope Challenge: 11%
Submission Match: 41%
Body Slam Challenge: 48%

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

To be fair, there are at least two options that were possible there so that’s better than nothing. Show pulls Jericho up from the floor to the ring BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN. Jericho works on the arm for no apparent reason. He then tries a cross body and Show ends it easily. He throws on the Colossal Clutch and Jericho taps. And of course he throws him over the top too. That’s kind of funny I guess.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of a match at all, but it did the job. Wait no it really didn’t as nothing at all was accomplished here. Jericho is feuding with Truth…kind of, and Show is going for the world title. What was the point here? Yeah this was actually bad.

Up next the Hart Dynasty vs. YOUR PICK. It’s either the Usos, the Dudebusters or Khali and Horny. That….could actually go a few ways.

Usos: 36%
Dudebusters: 10%
Great Khali/Hornswoggle: 54%

NO FREAKING WAY this is legit. NO WAY.

Hart Dynasty vs. Great Khali/Hornswoggle

I’m fairly sure this is non-title. Khali and Kidd start us off as for one of the first times, Natalya looks great to me. Tadpole Splash misses thank goodness. Horny gets pinned in like 8 seconds. Oh this was stupid. The Usos run out and get beaten up for the first time. The Harts needed that one.

Rating: N/A. This was barely a match at all. The good thing to come out of this though is that the Harts now look actually credible against the Usos which is the most important part of this I think. If nothing else they look like they would have a fighting chance in a match against them which I’d bet happens at the PPV. Yeah I know that’s a fairly safe bet but you make a ton of money that way in the long run.

Lawler says something is wrong and leaves. Ok then.

We recap the Taker is dead thing which is at least elevating Kane for once.

The guest hosts come out and there’s just one of them. He says there’s a great show coming. Ok then.

Lawler is in the back and the other two guest hosts in fake mustaches are in character and say that Lawler wanted to hire them. SOMEONE STOLE HIS CROWN! They leave and run into the Bellas who they refuse to break character for. This is actually working for me.

Santino Marella vs. Vladimir Kozlov

The choices are Match, Arm Wrestling or Dance-Off. Hmm I wonder what’s going to win.

Match: 9%
Arm Wrestling: 7%
Dance-Off: 84%

Oh did you expect it to be anything else? Santino says he used to be a Backstreet Boy. Santino’s isn’t that funny or special. Kozlov does something similar to a robot. He’s actually not terrible. Ok this is sort of funny. Ok it’s VERY funny. They dance a bit afterwards and Santino gets slammed. Find a video of Kozlov dancing. It had me dying of laughter.

The Divas are in the back and they’re going to have a match next. The choices are 6 on 6 tag, Battle Royal or Champion vs. Champion. Wow those are actual wrestling matches.

Lawler is back.

6 on 6 Tag: 11%
Battle Royal: 73%
Champion vs. Champion: 16%

Divas Battle Royal

Again, I can live with this. Also it’s only 8:56 so we should step it up a bit soon enough. There isn’t much you can say here. Ah apparently going through the ropes counts too. Rosa is out. Tiffany is put out by Laycool. The same goes for Kelly. Gail hits a SWEET hurricanrana as nothing of note is going on. Gail and Alicia who have a match on Superstars are both out as are the Bellas. Laycool vs. Eve and Maryse are the final four. Make that Maryse, Eve and Jillian who I didn’t notice at all. Eve is out which is surprising. Jillian says they can be co-winners but Maryse throws her out. Boring but the girls looked good so there we are.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to rate but this worked fine for what it was. It was about having hot women in small outfits fighting each other. In that sense it was a success. This is also a good idea as the less talented wrestlers are allowed to not have to actually, you know, wrestle. Maryse winning was a nice surprise also.

Sheamus and Kane have a staredown in the back. I’d like to watch that. He accuses Sheamus with some bad acting. Kane says he hopes to see him real soon.

WHO SHOULD SHEAMUS FACE? Kane, Mark Henry or Evan Bourne. HMM! I wonder who it’ll be!!!

Kane: 88%
Mark Henry: 3%
Evan Bourne: 9%

Sheamus vs. Kane

Yeah this works. I love big men fighting. Sheamus beats him up for awhile. We take a break. Sheamus is still beating him up. Kane starts beating him up for awhile. Chokeslam is blocked twice, Sheamus takes over again. Seriously that’s all that’s happened and it’s taken nearly 8 minutes. Chokeslam hits but Sheamus rolls to the floor and he just takes the count out. Eh that makes sense I guess and Kane looked very strong here.

Rating: C-. Very smart booking here as both guys get to look strong as well as giving us a decent match. Again it’s not particularly good but it did the right thing. Sheamus needs to stay strong going into the PPV and Kane needs to look strong going into the big angle he’s in. If he plays his cards right he could get to job to the world champion out of this which is a step up for him.

Edge vs. Orton in the behind the back thing.

Cena vs. Swagger, Mysterio or Punk later. That actually could be any of them.

We look at Wade Barrett who is indeed the best guy for that show. And here’s Wade Barrett. He’s asked what it’s like to win NXT. He says you wouldn’t ask a genius about passing a grade school exam. GREAT LINE. He says in one week he’s going to do something that’s never been accomplished before.

DiBiase and Virgil are in the back. I never get over saying that. The A-Team guys are here and accuse DiBiase of taking the crown. IRS IS HERE, WEARING THE CROWN! Apparently the crown was taken for not paying back taxes. There’s a gas attack and the heels wear masks while the faces are out cold. Ok then.

Miz and Truth have a tag match next and you get to pick their partners. Here are the options.

R-Truth: Christian, MVP, John Morrison
Miz: Zach Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, William Regal

R-Truth/??? Vs. The Miz/???

A REALLY annoying fan keeps chanting MVP for Truth’s partner.

Christian: 29%
MVP: 17%
John Morrison: 54%

That’s rather telling, and THANK YOU for not being MVP.

Dolph Ziggler: 38%
William Regal: 17%
Zach Ryder: 45%

Well he has the best music I guess. Weird team if nothing else. Morrison is back as he hits all of his big kicks, but in a rather short match, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale (GREAT one too as Morrison’s head just bounced off the mat) on Morrison to get the pin. He signals that he wants the belt back. Liking the young four guys being out there.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but it was really too short to get anything going. Is there a point to bringing Morrison back to job him out though? I really fail to see the point to that but if nothing else it fuels the Miz/Truth thing which I guess is just starting now. I still don’t get the Morrison losing thing though.

Bret and Edge talk for a bit in the back and Kane accuses Bret of attacking Taker. Interesting little thing: Taker has NEVER beaten Bret clean.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Remember that Edge will have an arm behind his back. Edge’s left arm is behind his back but Orton’s right arm is in a sling. Ok then. After about a minute Edge pulls the rope off and stomps on Orton’s arm. This gets the DQ. He goes for a spear but Orton gets a kick up to block it. Edge gets a chair and hits Orton in the arm with it.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle rather than a match but it opens a very interesting door as it’s now possible that Orton is out of the PPV match. This was a great idea and it came off rather well.

Cena and Bourne are talking in the back. Savannah comes up and asks Cena how he feels about he main event tonight. He says his life has been hectic and tonight the people make the pick and its their opinions that matter the most. The crowd is rather pro-Cena to say the least.

The A-Team guy wakes up…and MEAN FREAKING GENE IS WITH HIM! Gene makes fun of Josh Matthews who is right behind him.

Drew McIntyre vs. ???

The options are:

Yoshi Tatsu: 4%
Goldust: 8%
Mystery Opponent (does Matt Hardy poses): 88%

And it’s….actually Matt Hardy???? WOW. Drew says the match isn’t happening because of the suspension. Teddy comes out and says that he’s suspended from Smackdown, not Raw. Matt punches the tar out of him and never lets up. I like this angle actually. You can’t beat an old fashioned grudge match. Drew misses a charge and hits the post which POPS. Twist of Fate ends this clean in like 90 seconds. Post match he slams Drew’s head into the mat and keeps beating him down. Matt pulls some of his hair out. This was impressive for Hardy.

Rating: D. Uh…what was that? We build Drew vs. Matt up for weeks and him inside of 3 minutes clean? What was the point of that? Wasn’t Drew supposed to be getting a mammoth push and now he’s jobbing to Hardy in what could have been a decent PPV match? It fits but it’s just rather odd.

BA Baracus (Rampage Jackson) is in the back tied up and Virgil, IRS and DiBiase say they’re taking him to the ring. I like this actually.

Back from break and we’re in the ring. DiBiase says that he has a price, including him. Apparently someone wants BA…and it’s……RODDY PIPER??? What the heck? HUGE Roddy chant. Oh that’s right Piper feuded with Mr. T. WAY back in the day. Piper has a hat on for no apparent reason. He’s ticked off because he doesn’t want more hype over the A-Team again. He says it’s time for a fight and here’s the other A-Team guy along with Mean Gene and Dusty Rhodes on a golf cart.

Jackson breaks the handcuffs and it’s on! Jackson can actually fight of course so this is a massive beatdown. Dusty thinks he’s Murdoch from A-Team and plugs the movie……IF YOU WILL. This worked in the weirdest way you can possibly imagine, but it did in fact work. Oh and Lawler gets the crown back.

Next week’s host is the star of Royal Pains which Big Show is guest starring on soon. See what happens when you have RELEVANT hosts?

Josh is with the three options for Cena’s opponent. Rey says to be the top dog, you have to go after the top dog. Yeah that’s not at all like To be the man you’ve gotta beat the man. Swagger says it should be champion vs. champion. Punk just makes fun of Matthews and asks why Cena should get to fight Punk.

Here’s Cena and it’s only twenty minutes until eleven. That’s a good sign of a long match.

Jack Swagger: 23%
Rey Mysterio: 32%
CM Punk: 45%

John Cena vs. CM Punk

As a Punk fan, this works. Immediately Cena goes for the mask as you would expect. Punk is wearing camo tights. That’s just odd. The fans pop for Cena like a cherry but then chant you can’t wrestle. Odd crowd. Gallows cheats to get us to even and we go to a break. We come back and Cena starts taking over and goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle….and here’s Wade Barrett. Then all 7 other rookies show up and beat the tar out of the SES. Then they all get in the ring….and beat up Cena. What is going on here. AND THEY THEY BEAT UP STRIKER! AND LAWLER! Cole, of course, runs.

This is actually really cool. They turn over the announce tables and are all wreaking havoc. Security gets beaten up and they punch the announcer. They’re tearing the mat off the ring. Justin Roberts is getting choked out by Bryan. They’re destroying the arena. The ropes are torn up. Now they’re back to Cena. The ropes are literally falling apart, you can see the wood that is under the ring mat and they’re all clotheslining Cena.

Punk even tries to fight them and he gets beaten down. This is AWESOME by the way. Danielson yells at Cena that he’s better than Cena and spits in his face. Barrett hits his finisher on Cena, Gabriel hits the 450 on him. They’re all heel here in case you didn’t get the idea. They leave with Punk and Gallows out cold on the floor. This was original NWO level of insanity and one of the coolest endings to a Raw I’ve seen in forever. Also with there being 8 of them, that’s one heck of a force to fight off. Cena goes out on a stretcher but does the thumbs up as he leaves.

Rating: A+. The match was decent, but the angle was absolutely incredible. If nothing else it lasted longer than the Slammys match they had where Punk lost in like 2 minutes. I’m still in awe over the NXT thing which is saying a lot as it’s 7am at this point.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about this show since it aired, but this was a very successful show to me. Angles were advanced, feuds were partially ended and the ending blew my mind. I’ve been watching Raw since it debuted and this is easily one of the best endings I’ve ever seen. NO ONE would have called this and it came off perfectly. Good show overall and the ending was amazing beyond belief.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: