You know how matches today tend to repeat themselves?  Think about this:Back in December of 1997, back when there were two TV shows a week, Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger fought SIX TIMES in the same month.  Four matches on Nitro, one on Saturday Night and one on Starrcade.  Think about that for a minute.  SIX TIMES in the same month.

And you thought Ziggler and Kofi fought a lot.

Smoky Mountain Wrestling TV
Date: May 21, 1994
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentator: Les Thatcher

Ah Smoky Mountain Wrestling. I’ve been looking forward to this. Now as any of you that regularly follow me or talk to me about wrestling know, I’m a Jim Cornette disciple. I love his mind for wrestling and he’s old school in his way of going about wrestling. Well what better place than Cornette’s company? SMW was Cornette’s attempt to restart the territory system which didn’t really work but it did survive for about four years and had some big time stars (including I believe the first big American job of Chris Jericho). I’ve been looking forward to this so let’s get to it.

I think this might be a special called Global Warning but I’m not sure. That might be the theme from WWE 24/7 where this is from.

Thatcher tells us that a lot of this is from the Volunteer Slam from the day before.

Thrillseekers vs. Well Dunn

Well Dunn was a team made up of people with those last names. The Thrillseekers are Lance Storm and Chris Jericho and this is joined in progress. Jericho is in there with I think Well and he hits a Lionsault Press for two. An enziguri clears the ring and we’re clipped to a tag to Storm. The Thrillseekers clear the ring again and we’re clipped to Jericho in a chinlock but he’s fighting out of it.

They ram into each other and double tags bring in Well and Storm. Storm hits a nice spinning cross body for two. Well Dunn takes over but Jericho distracts Dunn and Storm hits a springboard cross body for the pin. This was more of a highlight package so I can’t really give it a fair rating.

Well Dunn rants about the Thrillseekers and say they need to follow the rules. They swear they’re the better team and they’ll find a way to beat them.

The Thrillseekers say they don’t cheat so a match where they can’t cheat is fine with them. Neither of them is good on the mic yet but they’re trying. Storm might be a step ahead of Jericho here if you can believe that. They get the point across though and that’s all that matters. They’re basically rookies here so giving them practice is the best thing you can do.

Cornette and his protege Bruiser Bedlam (bald guy who is crazy. He never did anything outside of territorial places) rant against Bob Armstrong and Tracy Smothers. Armstrong is Commissioner and Cornette wants him to resign. Jim also rants against hillbillies and implies that Smothers’ mother was a rather loose woman. This brings Smothers out and Bedlam sends him flying with a brass knuckles shot. Smothers is busted open and a bunch of guys come in for the save.

Armstrong brought in someone to fight Bedlam and here’s part of the match, also from last night’s Volunteer Slam.

Bruiser Bedlam vs. Randy Savage

Yeah this works. Joined in progress again with Savage in trouble. We’re told this is the opening part of the match so that’s not so bad. Off to a long nerve hold which Armstrong cheers Savage out of. Bedlam misses a headbutt and here comes Savage. They go to the floor and Cornette is in the ring. Savage takes over and slams Bedlam down. He knocks Cornette down and hits the elbow, but there’s no referee. Dory Funk comes out and gets beaten up by Armstrong. Cornette throws powder in his eyes and Savage drops Jim. Dory shoves Savage off the top and a knuckles shot gives Beldam the pin.

Rating: C-. This was far more of a brawl than a match. I’d assume the full thing ran about ten minutes which isn’t bad. Savage was still with the WWF at the time and this was part of a talent exchange they had going on. Not much of a match and Bedlam never did anything, but that’s how you get guys over in a territory: have them beat guys that everyone knows.

Cornette, Funk and Bedlam brag about the win. Dory wants to be commissioner.

Armstrong and Smothers say they’ll do whatever they can to get another shot at Cornette and his boys. Armstrong says if he can find someone else to be commissioner, he’ll jump into the ring immediately.

We talk about the tag title scene between the Rock N Roll Express challenging Chris Candido/Brian Lee. This leads us to a clip of Morton vs. Candido which is all clipped. The point of this is Candido is trying to piledrive Morton. Lee and Tammy Fytch (Sunny) run in as Sunny has uncuffed Lee which was a prematch stipulation. They set for a spike piledriver but Gibson runs in for the save.

Armstrong makes an unsanctioned piledriver match for the titles. That means you win by piledriving someone, not pinning them.

Sunny says this is ridiculous.

We recap the SMW Title picture with a video. Jake Roberts debuted and said he wanted the title from Dirty White Boy. He called White Boy handicapped and said he was a 4/10. Roberts isn’t going to hit a mentally handicapped person or a blind man (White Boy is in an eye patch) but Roberts gets a title match anyway.

We get a clip of the title match and a masked man runs in to steal the patch. Two guys run in for the save and White Boy is messed up because of the exposure to light. White Boy comes back with a bunch of rights and Roberts is knocked to the floor. Roberts gets his picture taken so he steals the camera and uses the flash to blind White Boy. The DDT gives him the title.

SMW Heavyweight Title: Jake Roberts vs. Dirty White Boy

This is the main event from Volunteer Slam. Joined in progress again as Roberts goes after the eye. Jake toys with him now as he lays on the mat and kind of stares at White Boy. They go to the floor and White Boy rams the arm into the post a few times. We’re told this is 15 minutes in. They go back in but Roberts tosses him out again. That doesn’t work as White Boy grabs the arm.

Roberts pulls the referee into a shot and Mark Curtis is down. Jake takes the tape off his wrist and ties him to the ropes. Jake’s bag is brought in and I think a fan runs in so Jake clotheslines him. Dirty White Girl tries to make the save but Jake shoves her down and eventually DDTs her. The match has been stopped pretty much. He goes to put the snake on her but the locker room makes the save. Not enough to rate but the match looked like a typical match from a territory with no ending. Think Memphis.

White Girl is taken out in an ambulance.

Jake says he got caught up in the heat of a battle. This turns into a discussion of Cain and Abel. He’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done because he has to do everything for himself. He’ll come for the girl too.

Overall Rating: C. Unfortunately this is the only episode I have of this show. This really isn’t the best representation of SMW because it’s more or less a clip show from last night’s big show. This is very much an old school territory as it’s about the house shows and building to them rather than those building to TV/PPV today. This was still pretty good and you can certainly see the old school storytelling in there. I liked it, but the clipping gets annoying fast. Worth checking out if you can find a show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Nitro #36
Date: May 20, 1996
Location: Monroe Civic Center, Monroe, Louisiana
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff

It’s the night after Slamboree and the final one hour show in the history of Nitro. It’s also the final show in the pre-NWO era. That being said, not a lot has changed at the previous show other than Great American Bash was set up with Mongo bringing out Kevin Greene to help him fight Anderson and Flair which shocked Flair for some reason despite Mongo talking about him on the previous Nitro. The Bash is only four weeks away so at least the build isn’t that long. Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the same thing I just recapped.

Steiner Brothers vs. Fire and Ice

Scott Norton and Ice Train so for the sake of this I’ll go with Norton to call Scott Norton and Scott for Scott Steiner. Train and Scott start us off as I continue to try to figure out what I liked about Ice Train. I think these two had a match at the Bash also. Scott hits a belly to belly and it’s off to Norton and Rick. Norton adds a middle rope splash for no cover. Rick is like whatever and hits a German to bring in Scott.

To the floor and Scott drops a forearm off the top to Norton. Samoan Drop by Norton gets two as momentum shifts a bit. Rick and Train come in and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again. Everything breaks down as apparently this is a 90 minute long broadcast. Maybe this is a preview show for the two hour variety? Not that it matters for this match as the referee just throws it out.

Rating: C-. Not awful here as they did ok for a battle of power. Their match at the PPV had almost twice as long which helped them a bit but at the same time there wasn’t much to go on here. Fire and Ice wasn’t all that good and no one really cared when they split in the fall. Norton went to the NWO and Train went into obscurity. Not much to talk about here but not bad.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

This should be good. Eddie grabs a headlock to start and takes Flair down with relative ease. They slug it out a bit as Eddie fires away with right hands and Flair of course chops away. Eddie speeds things up and sends Flair to the floor and Flair wisely gets away from any and all corners. Flair goes to his party table and grabs a chair which is taken away from him by the referee of course.

After a quick chase around the ring we come back for a staredown. BIG chops in the corner by Eddie and down goes Flair. We take a break with Flair firing a thumb into the eye. Back and they speed things up a bit with Eddie hitting clotheslines and a top rope sunset flip for two. Eddie actually grabs the Figure Four and Flair is in trouble. Eddie is no Jay Lethal apparently though and there’s the rope. Out to the floor and Flair takes over, landing a suplex as I think he wants to damage Guerrero.

Bobby talks about Flair being a 15 time champion and Bischoff says 13, because we’re not counting THOSE championships because they’re not WRESTLING championships. This guy is a walking comedy show. Flair hammers away but gets caught in an O’Connor Roll for two. Eddie gets a cross body but his knee gives out so he can’t cover. Flair Flip in the corner and Eddie dropkicks him off the apron to the floor.

Flair takes over on the floor as this has been a really good match so far. Eddie gets pounded in the corner but grabs a tornado DDT. He grabs him by the hand, walks up the ropes, walks across the ropes and gets a rana for two. Slam sets up the Frog Splash but Eddie hurt his leg again.

Flair…..tries a nip up? What weird parallel universe have I slipped into? Now we go to school and it’s Figure Four time. Eddie blocked it for a bit but now he’s caught. He tries to turn it over but the women help Flair out and Eddie can’t get his shoulders up and he’s out for a pin. That was AWESOME.

Rating: A-. This might be the best Nitro match in the history of the show and I’ve never heard anyone mention it. It’s Flair vs. Eddie for nearly 20 minutes, making it one of the longest matches in the history of the show so far. Very good match and totally awesome as Eddie gave Flair all he wanted. I loved this.

Flair and the girls come up to Gene at his VIP table and Savage is mentioned to a big pop. That’s not an issue apparently so Flair talks about football players for awhile and it’s the same stuff he’s said for months now. Flair takes the champagne and leaves with it and the ladies.

Back from a break and there are candles, champagne and fruit at the announce table with Flair, Bischoff and Heenan.

Tag Titles: Faces of Fear vs. Sting/Lex Luger

During the challengers’ entrance Flair is ranting about how we need a waiter. Luger vs. Meng to start us off. Apparently Liz likes Luger’s pec dance. That won’t lead to her eventual death or anything right? Meng actually does a drop toehold as Flair praises him. Bischoff shows his lack of historical wrestling as he asks if Flair has even wrestled a football player, apparently never having heard of Wahoo McDaniel so Flair goes off on him a bit.

Flair is having a ball on commentary, singing and making jokes about Debra. Back with Barbarian vs. Sting and down goes the painted one. Bischoff shills the replay of the PPV which was absolutely terrible. Barbarian gets a BIG kick of fear for two. That looked great if nothing else. Belly to belly release suplex off the top which looked AWESOME also. Barbarian is looking great here.

Double top rope headbutt and I think Sting may be dead. Luger comes in for the delay so Sting somehow kicks out at two. Heenan and Flair are cracking me up here as they’re debating which party to go to and having sandwiches. Sting dives for a tag but still can’t reach it either. He finally avoids a top rope headbutt from Barbarian and dives at Luger for the hot tag and everything breaks down. Sting knocks Barbarian off the top and a top rope splash by Sting sets up Luger for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good little tag match here as Sting sold like a master and it allowed for a decent match to come out of it. Luger’s sneakiness was dropped in favor of other stuff in about a week which is fine because I couldn’t handle another backstabbing angle. Anyway pretty good match here and fine for what it was.

Flair is told Savage is here and isn’t exactly happy.

Savage is still trying to get in so Flair laughs a bit. Apparently Savage’s future is being discussed by WCW officials. Savage says make the right decision and is thinking about running through the cops to get at Flair. They shove him back again with ease and that’s about it for this part.

Glacier is still coming.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Brad Armstrong

Page has his normal music here now minus the Self High Five part. Oh and he’s Diamond Dallas at this point for some reason. He won Battlebowl the previous night and has a benefactor and a ring now apparently. Armstrong tries some basic stuff to start so Page bails into the corner. Considering there’s no way that Armstrong can win here we’re kind of wasting time at this point.

Nitro moves to two hours next week apparently. Page stomps away and we take a break. Back with Page holding onto a chinlock as I have a feeling this is going to be rather boring here. Backslide gets two for Armstrong and that’s about it at the moment. Page hits a spear in the corner but the second misses and the arm hits the post. Flair praises Armstrong actually as he rams Page into the buckles and then the mat. Top rope cross body by Armstrong gets two and there’s the Diamond Cutter to end this. He didn’t have it mastered yet though so he kind of ran with it at this point. He’d get better though.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match here but at the same time Page was still getting better. That’s why they put him with Eddie later to give him some real experience like they did here but Eddie was an actual feud. Anyway, not much of a match here but they had to get him on the show, if nothing else for this next part.

Gene talks to Page who praises himself for a good while. His foot was on the floor at one point so they’re taking the title shot from him and giving it to Luger. Page keeps the ring though for no adequately explained reason. Page rants a bit and wouldn’t get the title shot for like two years.

WCW World Title: Arn Anderson vs. The Giant

I could listen to Anderson’s Horsemen music forever. Kevin Sullivan is with him for some reason. When do you ever see him getting world title shots anyway? Jimmy Hart and Sullivan argue a lot before the match. Anderson tries a go behind to start and Giant is just like dude, no.

Arn hammers away in the corner and that goes about as well as you would expect it to. Slam puts Arn down and Giant isn’t even sweating. Anderson is sent to the floor and this somehow goes even more slowly. Giant gets crotched on the rope as he comes back in and Anderson manages to take him down. DDT is attempted and Giant is again like dude, no. He lifts him up and the chokeslam ends this clean.

Rating: D+. I’d go with an N/A here if I used those anymore but that’s really all there is to say here. It ran about 3:40 and had about two minutes of action in it. Giant destroyed him here other than a few shots. The problem was Giant was a guy that was totally awesome in theory but he was green beyond belief. He was slowly getting better but it took a few more years before he could work a match longer than five minutes without someone great in there with him. He was trying though and he actually improved slowly though, which is what made him worth the time.

Heenan tries to steal all the stuff Flair brought him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty good show overall but they didn’t know how to fill in an hour and a half show yet, which is why the NWO was absolutely required when they made the move to two hours the next week. This had a great match and another decent one on there as a lot of stuff started to shift. Anyway, next week is probably the most famous moment in WCW history so this doesn’t mean much in comparison.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

He passed away two years ago yesterday.  I know most people don’t think much of Bleacher Report but this is good stuff.  The man truly was fascinating.  My uncle used to work out in the same gym that Savage and Genius used to frequent.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1643969-the-final-days-of-randy-macho-man-savage

Due to an abdominal injury, according to his Twitter.

You know, it’s almost like TNA knew this was a possibility and booked him into a tag title match anyway.  Now some people would call that short sighted and stupid.  I’m sure the response to that would be “give TNA more time” or “WWE does stupid stuff too!”

To be fair though it’s not like TNA is doing anything of note with Storm anyway.

Anyone that has been following my stuff lately knows that I’m not a fan of where WWE is going right now, with the majority of my problems being with Brock and HHH. While I’ve kind of explained why it doesn’t work, it’s not something that can be properly explained in a paragraph or two. I’ve been wanting to do a piece on something like this for awhile now so this fits perfectly. Today we’re going to be talking about audiences identifying with characters and how badly things things can go when that totally misses the mark. Let’s get to it.

Before I get into this, a disclaimer: there are MANY more ways for a wrestler to get over with a crowd than the ones I’m going to be talking about here. This is NOT saying that a character is a failure if his character doesn’t completely click, as it’s almost impossible to do that for everyone. Therefore, spare me the “I don’t identify with Cena so his character sucks” jazz, because you’re both missing the point and a lunkhead for saying it, not to mention wasting my time.

Since professional wrestling got started, the idea has been to find a way to get people to pay their money to buy a ticket to your shows. This was accomplished by taking two guys, coming up with a reason for them to not like each other, and have a wrestling match for the two guys to fight it out. That’s wrestling booking in a very small nutshell, but for some reason that’s been lost over the years (there’s a LOT to be said about that but we’ll come back to it at a later date).

Anyway, the idea is you establish characters with a conflict between them and have them settle said conflict in a match. A lot of these conflicts can be very basic, ranging from “you’ve got a title and I want it” to “I lost that match because of you” to “you had to cheat to beat me so now we’re going to fight in a cage where no one can help you”. There are dozens of ways to tell a story, but the good stories are the ones that involve both people and can only involve those people. We’ll come back to that idea later on.

There are limitless amounts of characters that you can have in wrestling. Off the top of my head there has been a zombie, a patriot, a viking, desperadoes, a billionaire, a guy that likes birds, a guy that likes snakes, a plumber, a wisecracking jock, a hippie, a lumberjack and a guy from the future. A lot of those are really basic one idea characters, but some of them are well developed ideas who can adapt to any story. The more in depth the character is, the better that character is, as they can be used for more complicated stories while also being able to be placed into whatever story you like. Let’s look at some examples.

We’ll start with the biggest character of all time: Hulk Hogan. When you really think about it, Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow is a really simple character. He’s the quintessential good guy who does the right thing (other than cheating in matches), loves kids, and is an AMERICAN. Think back to the 80s and think about how many times Hulk fought some foreigner and then waved the American flag after winning a match. It was a very basic idea but it always got people excited.

Why did it get people excited? Very simple: people love their country. Seriously that’s all there is to it. Americans, and people of almost any other nationality, have a love for their country and like to see it be on top. Why do you think so many fans like professional or college team sports? It’s because that’s THEIR town or THEIR school. It’s a sense of self pride that almost all Americans share.

Another and probably better example of this kind of character is Jim Duggan. For those of you unfamiliar (how is that possible?), Duggan was an American patriot who wasn’t all that bright, but he carried the American flag in one hand and a big old board in the other. He said all he needed was the Old Glory and these two fists and he’d never stop fighting. Duggan rarely won big matches, but that loveable oaf stayed around forever because it’s almost impossible to now look at a guy carrying the red white and blue and not smile just a little bit.

Now let’s take it one step further and look at a more in depth character who was based around American values and the idea of appealing to the masses: the American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was the common man, the son of a plumber, the American Dream. He would say “I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and I’ve slept in alleys eating pork and beans.” The idea was he wasn’t some rich guy who was paid millions of dollars and still loved America. He was like YOU and could relate to what you were going through.

This kind of common man character was the perfect opponent for the reigning NWA World Champion, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Flair often bragged about having whatever woman he wanted, hung out with professional athletes, rode in limousines, flew in private jets, and wore clothes that most people would only stare at through high priced store windows before walking down to Wal-Mart to buy the things they could afford. Flair at one point said that his shoes were worth more than Dusty’s house.

One day on television, the yet to be named Four Horsemen broke into a steel cage and beat Dusty down, breaking his ankle. A few months later, Dusty returned and talked about how Ric Flair put hard times on Dusty Rhodes and his family. Flair didn’t know what hard times were, but the American people knew what it was. Hard times are when the textile workers are out of work, or when someone has been working thirty years at a job and is given a watch and told a computer is going to do your job. Dusty didn’t look like the modern day athlete, but he loved the people and reached out his hand to them, promising to take the world title.

This promo, called Hard Times, is widely considered the greatest promo of all time because the people could and did identify with it. People got what Dusty was talking about and as they listened, they could see what he was talking about in their own lives. The fans identified with Dusty Rhodes and what he was talking about, making Dusty Rhodes THEIR hero. As luck would have it, this hero would be facing a man who was everything the common man wasn’t at a major wrestling event, and YOU could watch it if you paid your money right now.

That’s the idea that I’ve been talking about. You had two guys with developed characters which could be put together against each other with the fans identifying with one as the good guy and the other as the bad guy. The feud was a massive success and is one of the best of all times, possibly even the best that WCW ever produced. To this day it’s still one of the best ever because it was so basically yet effectively done.

Going with the same idea, another of the biggest feuds of all time was the feud that fueled the Attitude Era: Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. Look at the basics of this feud. You have Steve Austin, a beer drinking brawler from Texas, facing off with a billionaire from Connecticut who was borderline psychotic and willing to allow a demon who worshipped him to burn a cross like symbol on his lawn and have his daughter sacrificed in a Satanic wedding, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin using his army of hand picked Corporate Champions.

Now, how in the world can fans relate to something like that? One idea: how many people have ever wanted to beat up their boss? How many people had ever had a boss who said that you weren’t doing things the way he wanted them to or you were punished by some stupid rule? It was YOU who was out there working hard all day and keeping your company running, but your boss is the one making millions of dollars off the hard work you’re putting in. How would you have liked to crack them over the head with a chair, give them a Stunner and have a cold beer?

On top of that, there was something Austin did that Hogan or Sammartino (quick aside: Sammartino was an even more basic ethnic champion than Hogan was. New York City had a lot of Italians and that was all Sammartino was: a strong Italian. That was enough to hold the world title over eleven years and sell out Madison Square Garden about two hundred times. It really is that easy.) or anyone else did: he didn’t always overcome the odds. Think about it.

Austin was a six time WWF Champion. Here’s how he lost the belt each time: first blood match against a guy in a mask, loss in a glorified handicap match to Undertaker and Kane, lost to Undertaker in a match where Vince and Shane McMahon were both guest referees, triple threat match, lost to an American hero in said hero’s hometown four days after September 11, 2001 and finally to Chris Jericho after already facing Kurt Angle and having Angle interfere in the Jericho match.

In short, Austin wasn’t the kind of guy who always overcame impossible odds. When he was against something that no one could overcome, he lost, only to get the title back a few weeks or months later. The key to that is Austin wasn’t Superman, but rather a man like any other. He had limits and weaknesses which could cause him to lose for awhile, but he could always fight another day. That’s something that people have to do all the time, and again it allows people to identify with Austin.

I could go on for pages and pages about various other great characters and how fans can identify with them, but you get the point. Now let’s take a look at the other end of the spectrum and how characters can be very basic characters with either no room to grow or no real target audience whatsoever.

Looking back at the early to mid-90s, a very bad time for the WWF, we see guys like Friar Ferguson (wrestling friar), T. L. Hopper (wrestling plumber), Rad Radford (grunge musician), Duke Droese (wrestling garbageman), Damien Demento (weird guy) and the Goon (wrestling hockey player). All of these guys have one thing in common (well one major thing in common): There’s nothing to them.

Think about it. What is there about any of those guys that makes them good or bad? What is good or evil about a plumber? What kind of storylines can a plumber get into? Why would I cheer or boo a plumber? There’s no thought or depth to this character and he has nowhere to go with anything. It’s a one note character and due to how weak he is, Hopper didn’t last long at all. That could be said with any of these guys, talent levels aside.

Now let’s get to the meat of what I want to talk about with the characters not fitting. There are two primary modern examples of this, one of which is HHH/Lesnar which we’ll get to in a bit. First of all though, let’s jump back to the year 2011 when Dolph Ziggler held the United States Title. At this same point, Zack Ryder was becoming very popular due to his online show, Z! True Long Island Story.

On the show, Ryder began to fall for WWE Diva Eve Torres, while at the same time starting a petition to get himself a US Title shot. The fans got behind Ryder, even to the point of cheering for him while the Rock was standing in the middle of Madison Square Garden after Survivor Series had went off the air. People wanted Zack Ryder and he was all of a sudden the hottest guy in wrestling.

A month later, Ryder got his US Title shot at TLC and won the championship to blow the roof off the building. The fans had gotten what they wanted and their hero had delivered what he promised them he would do if just given the chance. Around the same time, Eve started noticing Zack, meaning that Ryder was getting the cherry on top of the US Title. Life was perfect for Ryder, at least for now.

Soon after this, Kane started targeting Ryder’s friend John Cena. Cena came back at Kane, so Kane went after Ryder and Eve. One night Kane destroyed Ryder and went after Eve, only to have Cena make the save. Eve, in gratitude, kissed Cena as Ryder watched from the side, disgusted with his friend for betraying him like he had. Soon after this, Ryder lost the US Title and Cena didn’t really seem to care. A month or two later, Eve turned on Ryder, costing him his match at Wrestlemania. Ryder has been right back where he was before his web show ever since.

Now let’s break this scenario down. At this point, WWE’s target audience was younger people, ranging from children to teenagers. The two main guys in this story are Zack Ryder and John Cena. Look at those two. Ryder is a glorified geek who was in WAY over his head but got his one shot at glory and won the big one. At the same time, he was head over heels for a woman way out of his league and seemingly got her too. On the other hand you have John Cena. Cena was a mainstream celebrity, looked like he was carved out of stone, handsome, one of the biggest stars ever, and the epitome of the top dog.

Who do you think most people are going to relate to? Back in middle school or high school, how many people saw some guy or girl that they were completely taken by? They would saw off their own leg for a smile from the other person, but the person they wanted had no idea they were alive. The guy or girl you wanted was off with either a gorgeous cheerleader or a starting running back and wouldn’t know your name if their life depended on it. How many of you were like that when you were say, fifteen?

At the end of the day, the vast majority of people are like Ryder: awkward, not popular, a face in the crowd and have no chance to get the one that they want. Yet in this story, it’s Cena who is the hero. Cena, the star football player or head cheerleader, is the one that gets the gorgeous girl and gets to slay the giant, rather than Ryder who looks like the loser he’s always been made out to be. In this story, the dream that the common man has was crushed and given to the one who has it all, and we’re supposed to cheer him for it. I’m sure there are people out there who can more than identify with Cena, but they’re in the minority.

To better illustrate how backwards this was, let’s take a look at my all time favorite moment: Mankind wins his first WWF Championship. It’s the same basic idea: Mankind is the outcast who had few friends and was labeled a freak, while Rock was the star athlete who has been bred for success from the day he was born. Again, how many people were basically outcasts in high school and how many people were the top athlete that wound up playing pro football?

On January 4, 1999, Mankind won the title and Michael Cole sums up the entire feud perfectly: “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it.” That’s the entire story in a nutshell: this was the moment for fans who hadn’t even been the best and on top of the world. They could identify with wanting Foley to achieve his dream and on that night, that’s exactly what they got.

Now for the difference between Ryder and Foley (oddly enough both from Long Island and they both beat guys from south Florida to win their titles): while Foley lost his title less than a month later, Foley never was treated like an underling again. From that moment on, he was a bonafide main event star and had risen up the card after winning a major match. Ryder never ascended at all and was back where he started from a few months later. The fans had put their faith in Foley and he had carried them to a higher level.

This FINALLY brings me back to the HHH vs. Lesnar story. There are two major problems with it, aside from the matches being nowhere near good enough to warrant this kind of a feud. First and foremost, who is this supposed to appeal to? I know HHH was pretty popular, but there isn’t much of a fanbase that fits into the “13 time world champion who married into the family that owns the company by marrying the boss’ gorgeous daughter which has put me in position to run a billion dollar company for the next thirty years while getting to beat up former UFC Heavyweight Champions” category.

That’s my big problem with this. The only person that seems to gain anything from this feud is HHH. This also ties into my second problem: it’s a HHH feud. This story has nothing at all to do with Brock Lesnar, who is a once in a generation talent. Think back with me to Extreme Rules 2012 and Lesnar’s match with John Cena.

Coming into the match, Cena had just gotten done facing The Rock at Wrestlemania 28 in one of the biggest matches of all time. Cena had dominated the company to the point that WWE had to bring the Rock back to give Cena a legitimate challenge. Once that was gone, they had to bring in the former UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World to make Cena break a sweat. Lesnar MAULED Cena on Raw and at the PPV, taking Cena down with ease and laughing about it at the time.

Look back at that match. The fans start cheering for Cena because they know he’s in the fight of his life. It isn’t because they love Cena per se. It’s because they want to see the underdog somehow pull off the miracle and beat someone he’s in WAY over his head against. Compare this to HHH, who has basically only lost to Lesnar because he’s gotten caught in a hold or Lesnar’s manager has cheated, not because Lesnar is a force that can’t be stopped. It’s hard to buy that John Cena gets run over by Lesnar like a train but HHH can stand and fight Brock toe to toe.

Finally, as I said HHH vs. Lesnar is a HHH story and there’s not a huge fanbase that can get into that. Think back to the night that Lesnar destroyed HHH’s office. None of that stuff was personal to HHH. It was furniture and electronics that was paid for by the company. It shows how he isn’t a common man but rather a corporate guy who can fight. For a company that is supposed to be targeting kids, it’s kind of hard to accept them getting upset over a bunch of furniture being destroyed.

On top of THAT, Brock Lesnar is just a warm body in this feud. Think about it like this: you could put ANY monster heel in this feud and it would be the same story. You could have Big Show, Mark Henry, a heel Sheamus, or any other big strong guy you wanted to have in Brock’s role and the story would be the same, because the story is about HHH. When Lesnar fought Cena, ONLY Brock Lesnar could fit in that role because ONLY Brock Lesnar was a force that Cena had never faced before. In short, both characters have to fit the story. Dusty Rhodes’ common man character doesn’t work without a rich man in Flair to play against.

To wrap things up, that’s why I don’t like HHH vs. Lesnar: it’s a Triple H story instead of a Brock story, and it’s really hard to get behind a HHH story as there isn’t a huge fanbase that can identify with him. That would be fine if their matches were blowing the doors off the place, but they’re simply not doing that. They’re good, but not nearly good enough to warrant a year long feud.

In general, that lack of depth can be made up for by having the audience identify with one or both of the characters, such as in all the examples I gave you. Almost no one is going to be rich like Vince, but a lot of people can identify with having a boss they want to beat up. Identifying with the audience is one of the hardest things to do in wrestling, but if you can pull it off you have (in theory) the hardest part done and the booking can take care of the rest.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2013
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Extreme Rules and we have some major developments. First and foremost, Shield has possession of the US and Tag Team Titles, giving them their first gold and making them look even more dominant than they did before. Cena vs. Ryback went to a no contest after Ryback knocked Cena through the set and neither guy could continue. Also to the shock of no one, Lesnar was made to look like he survived his match against HHH instead of destroying the Game. Tonight we should be able to find out where things are going until Payback. Let’s get to it.

We open with an ambulance driving into the arena with its sirens blaring. Inside of the ambulance is Ryback, now with a Ryback Rules vest. Ryback says that last night he had a no decision in the last man standing match which is unfair. We get a clip of Cena refusing to be placed inside an ambulance, but next time he won’t be able to do that because the rematch at Payback is an ambulance match. Ryback goes on a rant about how the fans have no self discipline and that he’ll win the title next month. This only took like three minutes which was a nice surprise.

Tonight we find out who Paul Heyman’s newest client is.

Wade Barrett/Fandango vs. The Miz/Chris Jericho

Barrett has new music and I guess is still feuding with Miz because he has to feud with someone. Jericho and Barrett start things off with the Englishman being taken down by a dropkick. Chris charges into an elbow to the face and it’s off to Fandango with a clothesline. As Jericho fights back, we get a clip of Road Dogg talking to Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Seriously, WHY DO WE NEED TO SEE THAT? Fandango and Barrett have a small disagreement and we take a break.

Back with Miz fighting out of a chinlock before hitting a hard boot to the head. Miz loads up the figure four but Fandango grabs a mic to say his own name. There’s his music and it’s time to dance. Barrett yells at Fandango as Jericho gets rolling with a top rope shot to the head. A bulldog sets up the Lionsault for no cover. The Codebreaker takes Barrett down again and it’s off to Miz for the figure four and the submission at 8:20.

Rating: N/A. It was long enough to rate but most of that was in a commercial or spent with Fandango dancing. There’s nothing to see here (almost literally) other than Summer’s legs, but at least Barrett was beaten in just a few minutes again right? That’s the important thing at the end of the day.

Post match Jericho and Miz chase Fandango off. Jericho takes Summer’s hand and dips her back before laughing at her and walking off.

Here’s Vickie to tell us that we can vote for who Swagger faces on the WWE App: Great Khali, R-Truth or Randy Orton.

Bryan is ticked off in the back when Kane comes in. Daniel realizes that neither of them are the Tag Team Champions anymore but Kane says calm down. That’s from the guy that said embrace the hate so Bryan doesn’t care. He says he feels lost without his title, but Kane thinks it’s because Bryan isn’t wearing a shirt or pants. They get a rematch with Shield but they have to show no weakness. Bryan thinks that’s an insult to him and an argument nearly breaks out. Kofi pops in to break it up.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

Before the match, we get a clip from last night of Mark Henry saying he’s going home. They lock up to start with Sheamus shoving Titus down. A shoulder block puts Sheamus down as well though as Titus shows off some power. Sheamus throws him to the apron for the ten forearms before sending Darren Young into the barricade. The distraction lets Titus take Sheamus’ head off with a clothesline and we head back inside.

A standing fallaway slam puts Sheamus down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus fights up and tries White Noise, only to be sent to the floor. He loads up the slingshot shoulder but Darren Young trips him up, giving Titus two. Titus misses a charge in the corner and now White Noise connects. The Brogue Kick finishes O’Neil at 6:29.

Rating: C. This is the kind of stuff they need to do more often. Instead of having Sheamus beat up one of the Rhodes Scholars for the 95^th time, you can give Titus a chance to show what he can do while not wasting someone like Cody or Damien. This way we get a fresh match which was a lot better than I was expecting.

Here’s Heyman to unveil his newest client. Heyman says that the fans are powerless with their booing because last night Brock Lesnar beat HHH inside a cage. HHH will go down in history as a loser to Lesnar so neither of them are here tonight, only it’s Lesnar enjoying the victory. However, it’s now time to do something new. This is something that is going to make the fans set their DVRs and remember this moment fifteen years from now. The newest Paul Heyman guy is Michael McGillicutty, now known as Curtis Axel.

Heyman talks about how this is the same as Brock Lesnar debuting in 2002 and CM Punk being a Paul Heyman guy. He talks about Axel being a third generation guy and being held back by politics so why isn’t he a main event superstar? His name is Curtis after his father and Axel after his grandfather, Larry the Ax Hennig. Heyman introduces him to the crowd but here’s HHH with a rebuttal.

HHH looks at Axel and Heyman while talking about the Kool-Aid that Heyman has whipped up. He tells Axel to let the adults talk and says that he isn’t embarrassed. HHH talks about going to war with Lesnar and how Brock limped away from their fight. It would make HHH really happy to beat up Paul Heyman right now but Axel steps between them. Axel says the game around here has changed and if HHH wants to talk to Heyman, he has to talk to Axel first. HHH slaps him in the face and says it’s Curtis vs. HHH later tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston

Del Rio sends Langston shoulder first into the post and tries for a quick cross armbreaker, only to have Big E. lift him up and slam him down. The hold isn’t broken though and Big E. makes it to the ropes. Del Rio gets it on again from the apron but Langston lifts him up and slams him into the post in an impressive power display.

Back in and Langston bends Del Rio’s back over his knee, only to get caught in a tornado DDT. Del Rio hits the low superkick for two but is sent to the floor when loading up the armbreaker. Back in and the enziguri puts Langston down, only to have AJ throw in the bucket. The distraction lets Langston poke Alberto in the eye and hit the Big Ending for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. And the stupid booking continues. Del Rio wins the #1 contenders match last night and gets pinned in less than five minutes here. How this makes me want to see Ziggler vs. Del Rio again is beyond me, but I’m sure I’m just not smart enough to get it. It’s good for Langston but there was zero need for Del Rio to lose here.

AJ Lee vs. Layla

The Bellas are watching in the back as AJ takes Layla down. Apparently AJ is a rat in stupid looking shorts. Layla kicks AJ down and makes fun of the skipping. A low dropkick puts AJ down but after AJ hides in the corner, she comes out with the Black Widow for the tap out at 1:43.

Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder

This is joined in progress after a bell although it doesn’t seem like we’ve missed much. Rhodes goes after the arm to start as we see Ryback watching in the back for no apparent reason. The release suplex gets two on Ryder but Zack hits his knees in the corner and a middle rope dropkick. Ryder’s Broski Boot gets two but he gets caught by the Disaster Kick for the pin at 2:37.

Post match here’s Ryback to destroy Ryder because he can. He hits a nice powerbomb which could be a new finisher for him. Ryder gets Shell Shocked and thrown into the ambulance for good measure.

Kofi Kingston/HELL NO vs. Shield

Before the match, Shield brags about all the victories they’ve accumulated and how their new titles are proof of how amazing they are. The opening bell is after a break of course. Kofi and Dean get things going with Ambrose taking him down, only to be slapped in the face. A monkey flip and armdrag take Dean down and ew hit a quick armbar. Off to Bryan for some knee drops and a hammerlock. Tag off to Rollins who gets caught in a surfboard position, only to have Bryan stomp down on the legs.

Kane gets the tag and a near fall off the low dropkick. Back to Kofi for an armbar but Seth drives him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. He powers Kofi down in a kind of suplex for two and it’s back to Ambrose for a dropkick and the same result. The Shield keeps tagging quickly as it’s back to Rollins who drops Kofi again, only to be caught in a headscissors.

Kofi makes the hot tag to Bryan who moonsaults out of the corner and hits a running clothesline. Bryan goes up but gets crotched down, but he still manages to block a superplex by Ambrose. The missile dropkick puts Dean down for two and it’s off to the NO Lock. Ambrose gets to the rope very quickly and heads to the floor as we take a break.

Back with the tag off to Dean to continue the beating on Kofi, only for Kingston to fight out and make the tag to Bryan. Ambrose is put in the Tree of Woe and kicked in the ribs, followed by a baseball slide for good measure. Back to Rollins for a buckle bomb in the corner but Bryan is out at two again. Reigns comes back in and runs over Bryan with a clothesline before it’s back to Ambrose for some stomps to the ribs. Dean talks a lot of trash to Bryan but gets punched in the face for his efforts.

Reigns breaks up a tag attempt, only to be kicked away, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. The side slam gets two on Roman as everything breaks down. Kofi and Bryan hit stereo suicide dives on Dean and Seth before Kane hits a running DDT for tow on Reigns. Ambrose suplexes Bryan down on the floor and Seth puts Kofi into the post. Dean tries to jump on Kane but gets caught by an uppercut. Seth breaks up the chokeslam on Reigns with the top rope knee, allowing Roman to spear Kane down for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: B. Good long tag match here which did exactly what it was supposed to do: keep the Shield looking strong heading into the rematches. Seeing them with the gold around them is a great sight as it shows even more how dominant they are. The fact that champions are actually winning is a good sign as well.

We recap the HHH/Axel/Heyman stuff from earlier.

Kaitlyn gets a phone number from the secret admirer but there’s no voicemail on it. Natalya offers to have Khali go sneak around but Kaitlyn says no. Cody walks by with a phone and Natalya steals it, thinking he’s the admirer. Apparently it’s not him as he’s posting pictures of himself on the internet. Didn’t we already eliminate Cody recently?

HHH says he can compete tonight despite the doctor saying he can’t.

Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

Lawler announces the result and Orton wins with only 72% of the vote. I was expecting a lot higher. Swagger quickly takes him to the mat with a top wristlock but Orton fights up and dropkicks him out to the floor. A clothesline keeps Swagger down and Orton pounds away at his head back inside. Jack fires back with some shoulders in the corner but Randy kicks him in the robs and hits a Thesz Press.

Swagger takes the knee out with a chop block and hits a DDT on the leg before putting on a standing leg lock. Orton fights up and sends Swagger out to the floor, only to have the Elevated DDT broke up with a drive into the barricade. Back in and it’s the same leg lock, only to have Orton punch his way out. He heads up top but gets shoved to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping the leg lock again and sending a charging Swagger shoulder first into the post.

Orton superplexes Swagger down for two and blocks the Vader Bomb with a kick to the ribs. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT, but Jack escapes and hits a high angle belly to belly for two. There’s the Patriot Lock but Orton easily rolls out and hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into the Patriot Lock. Orton finally breaks the hold and hits the RKO for the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C+. This got better towards the end but it was more long than good. The problem at the end of the day is Orton isn’t tapping out to the ankle lock so we were just waiting for him to hit the RKO to end this. It’s a decent match, but man alive they could have cut five minutes out of this with ease.

We look at Ryback’s promo earlier in the night, as well as him throwing Ryder in the ambulance.

Curtis Axel vs. Triple H

Feeling out process to start with HHH shoving Axel into the corner and clotheslining him down. HHH throws him to the floor and Curtis is looking like a jobber so far. Back in and Axel gets in some shots in the corner, stomping the Game down. A dropkick gets one on HHH and an elbow to the face keeps HHH down. Curtis is working on the jaw that was hit by the sledgehammer last night. A middle rope elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up and hits some shoulder blocks in the corner to take over.

The facebuster sets up the spinebuster but instead of the Pedigree, HHH clotheslines him to the floor. Another clothesline puts Curtis down and HHH throws him back in….before not getting back in himself. HHH shakes his head and sits down at the timekeeper’s table, saying that he needs water. Earlier tonight the doctors told him he couldn’t compete because of what happened last night. HHH tries to get up but the doctor comes out and says the match is over at roughly 7:30.

Rating: D+. Erg. Yet again, it’s all about HHH. It couldn’t be something that Axel did to him, but rather HHH overdoing it because THAT’S WHAT HE DOES. Axel looked like a complete afterthought here other than some decent stuff in the beginning. At least HHH didn’t crush him. That’s something…..right?

Overall Rating: C+. There was some good stuff on here including a very good six man tag. However, a lot of the stuff made you want to ram your head into a wall as you wonder what WWE is possibly thinking. I don’t know why they can’t just have Ryback vs. Cena in a wrestling match, but hey at least we can have one of the all time lame gimmicks of the ambulance match.

For fun tonight, I clocked the amount of time spent on recaps and commercials, not counting stuff done during the actual show (such as WWE App nonsense). In total, over a full hour was spent hyping something or recapping stuff from earlier in the show. I understand the commercials, but do we really need to spend almost ten minutes watching stuff we already saw? Good stuff for the most part but there was too much bad mixed in bringing it down.

Results

Chris Jericho/The Miz vs. Fandango/Wade Barrett – Figure four to Barrett

Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick

Big E. Langston b. Albeto Del Rio – Big Ending

AJ Lee b. Layla – Black Widow

Shield b. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston – Spear to Kane

Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Is…….Michael McGillicutty, now named Curt Axel.  Oh I REALLY like this.

And his theme music is a remixed Mr. Perfect theme!

Since just having a wrestling match is out of the question, it’s going to bean ambulance match at Payback.  Can I go to the hospital instead of watching?

Capital Combat
Date: May 19, 1990
Location: D.C. Armory, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is the Robocop Show. That being said, the rest of this card is actually pretty good looking. It’s overstacked with tags but this is a good era for them so I can’t complain much. The main event is Luger vs. Flair in a cage as Sting’s knee had more or less exploded and been shredded at the same time at a Clash show, meaning he’s gone for months. This is a problem as he’s by far and away the biggest star in the company so they had no choice but to throw Luger in there. Better than nothing I guess. Let’s get to it.

The show is subtitled The Return of Robocop. That sums things up I think.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan/Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls over. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Mark Callous vs. Johnny Ace

Ace would become better known as the guy that practically runs the talent ends of WWE today. Callous would become better known as the Deadman. Here’s he’s just a big tough guy from Houston. This is WAY before Taker had anything really going for him either. Dangerously manages him which is a freaking scary combination. Ace was little more than a jobber to the stars in this company at this time so I highly doubt this is going to mean much.

There isn’t much to say here as it’s a relatively standard match with no heat going on something close to power vs. speed. Ace was never a guy that really got over that well in America. His brother was a good bit more popular though. You just read about him too as he’s more commonly known as Animal. There isn’t much here as it’s just them going back and forth with no particular rhyme or reason (I’m bored and Burning Bright popped into my head) for FAR too long.

We’re nearly seven minutes into this and it’s just been slow and plodding stuff from Taker and some quick shots from Ace. I’m still waiting on anything of interest to happen. Oh there’s a Heart Punch to end it. Thank you. Oh that’s Taker’s finisher and he won in case you were confused. Hard to believe he would be Undertaker in 6 months.

Rating: D. I mean what was the point here? They have all these great tags lined up and they give THIS ten minutes? This couldn’t have been spread out somewhere else? It’s just boring and not interesting in the slightest, which is never a good thing at all. BIG waste of time but I guess it could have been worse.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Tommy Rich/Mike Rotundo

This….this is a joke right? The Swat Team is more commonly known as Tama from the Islanders and Rikishi. Mike Rotundo is IRS and Tommy Rich is somehow a former world champion. To call this a contrast in styles would be an understatement as you have savages that don’t act savage and a Southern boy that isn’t that good and a technician in Rotundo.

Ok so we’re five minutes into this and my head is hurting. The spots are missing, the spots are stupid, and neither of the Samoans are any good. That being said, this is still a boring match. It’s supposed to be a glorified squash but it’s going on way too long and it just isn’t that good.

The faces make their comeback to set up the finish….and we’re going to keep going. Is this supposed to be good or entertaining or something like that? If that’s the case, this is failing completely. Someone shoot me please. FINALLY after OVER FIFTEEN MINUTES this ends with a splash and the Samoans winning.

Rating: F. No way. This got nearly twenty minutes and nothing happened. It was just back and forth stuff with no drama or good action at all. The main thing here is the time. If you hack this in half, it’s bearable. It’s boring, but it’s bearable. This was too much though and I had to stop the tape a few times out of boredom.

Teddy Long vs. Paul Ellering

This is a hair vs. hair match even though both are nearly bald. Missy Hyatt is the announcer for no apparent reason and Long is in boxing gear. He’s actually in decent shape too. You know I have to give Long credit: this guy has been in mainstream wrestling in some form or capacity for well over twenty years. That’s pretty impressive actually. Long is in tights. That’s just freaky looking.

Ellering’s arms are freaky. They talk about him wanting to run in the Iditarod. He did that actually and his goggles got frozen to his face and he nearly went blind. There’s something in the glove apparently as it flies off of Long’s hand, which then goes upside his head for the pin. The barber cuts his hair afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was like two minutes long and was just a freak show. However, after this we get to the good stuff so let’s get to it.

The Horsemen yell at Luger. It’s Sid, Anderson, Anderson, Windham and Flair at this point.

US Tag Titles: Tom Zenk/Brian Pillman vs. Midnight Express

This works. It’s Eaton and Lane in case you weren’t sure. The faces are the champions here. Pillman has hot pink tights and a mullet. There’s something funny there. Cornette has to be in a small cage at ringside. Later on they would raise it up into the air, providing some of the best comedy of all time as he’s TERRIFIED of heights and legitimately freaked out. Randy Anderson hits a clothesline and DOWN GOES CORNETTE!

He’s put into the cage and freaks out over it. We hear more about Mama Cornette who was the person that paid for all of his stuff but was never seen. The cameraman is wearing a bright green shirt. Is there a reason for this that I’m just missing? We start very fast as the champions hit a SWEET double team slingshot into a double clothesline. That was nice.

The Midnights are in peach and are getting their heads kicked in. Them running up to the cage for advice is kind of funny. They’re kind of starting and stopping here which is sort of odd. Zenk and Lane go at it with Stan throwing out his kicks and we hear about Flair training him. That’s not something you hear about every day. In essence we have two high fliers vs. two semi-high fliers.

This has been very good so far. It’s a great example of the idea of a dream tag match with two kind of thrown together guys and a career tag team which can work very well. This one is seeming to be like that. They work over Pillman for a good while which was their specialty. This was a great time for tag wrestling, with the Midnights and the Rock And Roll Express who are on next leading the charge.

Eaton hits a pretty nice elbow drop from the top rope. I like that. The ropes are a very odd color scheme of blue, white and yellow. Yeah that’s just odd. Bobby hits his top rope legdrop which doesn’t have a name yet. Very good match so far. Pillman tries a Tombstone but he kind of botches it so he improvises into a suplex sort of move. THAT is smart, as going for the piledriver would have looked terrible.

Zenk comes in and hooks a sleeper which is called a sleep hold. He kicks out of the Rocket Launcher. That’s saying a lot as it was the Midnights’ finisher. With Pillman being put out of the ring, Lane hits an enziguri on Zenk into a small package for the pin. Nice ending to a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was very fun to put it mildly. This is like I said a great example of a match where you have two kind of thrown together people and a great team and it turns into a great tag match. All four guys worked hard and it turned out to be a great match with very good chemistry all around. Worth seeing.

Sting and Robocop are in the back. And now they’re in the arena. This is the cross-over from purgatory if there ever was one. With Robocop on the way, the Horsemen jump the injured Sting and throw him in the cage that Cornette was in.

He of course pulls the door off as I wonder what I’m watching. Sting used to be a Horseman but was thrown out for wanting a shot at Flair, resulting in a massive beatdown and a heel turn for the Horsemen. This literally lasted about a minute in total and nothing was said at all.

Junkyard Dog is back and wants the Horsemen or Mean Mark (Undertaker). I still fail to care at all. Cornette comes up and runs his mouth and asks where JYD has been. JYD says an address and it’s the address of Cornette’s mother. OH SNAP. Yeah I don’t care either.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Freebirds

The Freebirds are Garvin and Hayes here and this is a Corporal Punishment match, which means a strap match. They can beat on each other with them or whatever they like but aren’t attached. We get Badstreet USA so this is already a success. The Birds get pyro which was a rare thing back then. I love how in recapping the night, Ross talks about Robocop and Sting and the US Tag Title match in the same manner, as if they were the same amount of time.

The straps are attached to the ring posts. Why? No reason is given but whatever. We finally get to the straps as the Express are dominating. Ross of course talks about the woodshed. That’s some weird obsession he has. This is kind of disjointed as it’s a segment and then a whipping and then we repeat. We get a whip duel between Gibson and Hayes which is kind of cool.

Ross says one of his favorite teams is the Steiners. Not sure what that has to do with this match but whatever. The heels take over and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Playing Ricky Morton means getting the living tar pounded out of you for a LONG time before making the hot tag. It was designed and more or less invented in the Express vs. Express matches and has been a staple of tag team wrestling ever since.

If you ever hear of someone playing Ricky Morton, it’s a guy in a tag match, 99% of the time a face, being beaten down really badly. The straps are kind of awesome actually as at least they make a really loud sound so you can tell it’s painful. That’s better than nothing at least. Garvin goes up and that completely fails which you would think would set up the hot tag to Gibson.

Nope not yet which isn’t incredibly surprising. In a nice idea, Morton goes to the wrong corner. That’s not bad at all. There’s your hot tag to not a ton of heat actually. Ross calls it The Sleep again. That’s just weird to hear. It really is. Hayes gets his DDT but doesn’t cover. This allows Morton, the illegal man, to come off the top with a sunset flip for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Not as good as the previous one, but then again the Freebirds aren’t as good as Zenk and Pillman in the ring. This came off fine although the straps weren’t used as much as I would have liked them to but I can live with that. This was fine for what it was though and was a very good use of nearly twenty minutes. The Express was past its prime at this point, but they still make fine tag matches. The ending made up for a weaker match here, which is fine as it’s the last thing you see.

Tony talks to the World’s Strongest Man, Doug Furnas, as in of Furnas and LaFon. He says nothing of note other than Luger is awesome.

Sting shows up just afterwards and is so over it’s not even funny. Apparently Luger is badly hurt and shouldn’t get in the ring tonight. Sting says Flair should be worried about Luger and that he would do the same thing.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Steiner Brothers

DANG that Doom music is awesome. They’re Ron Simmons and Butch Reed if you’ve never heard of them. They’re just big bruisers that have nothing but power. The Steiners are about as awesome as possible at this point so this is going to be a war. Rick’s hair is insane here and looks awful but it was just past the 80s so it’s ok I guess. Also, this is the Scott Steiner that was supposed to be the wrestler of the 90s as he’s a freaking monster that can move like Chris Jericho.

We’re stalling a ton by this point. Long looks like Carl Winslow with his hair like that which is rather amusing. Scott and Simmons start us off and Steiner just shoves the referee to the ground for no apparent reason. No disqualification on that for no apparent reason. These two just hammer the heck out of each other with the crowd being white hot. Scott is throwing Simmons around. That’s hard to imagine.

And now let’s look at the fans for no apparent reason. Scott throws out a perfect dropkick and it’s ALL Scott so far. I’m having issues taking Rick seriously with that hair. Apparently Rick offered to take Jim Ross fishing one time. That could be hilarious. To say this has been physical would be an understatement. They’re beating the tar out of each other and we hear about Simmons being the MVP of the Hula Bowl. That kind of weakens things a bit.

It’s weird hearing about all these little factoids about Steiner, including that he loves animals. It’s also weird hearing him called Hacksaw Reed. I know it’s his name but I associate that nickname with Duggan and Duggan alone. Doom has taken over here as we calm things down a lot. Reed has Scott down and pounds him with right hands. Better than the Atomic Noogie I guess. Reed hooks a decent bulldog of all things.

This has been slower but good so far. Frankensteiner hits out of nowhere and the place is all of a sudden alive. I’ll give the Steiners this: they could get a crowd going. Doom hits a modified Hart Attack for a long two but Rick makes the save. In a different kind of ending, Rick is pounding on Reed in the corner and sets up for a belly to belly from the middle rope but Simmons makes a save.

Reed hits more or less a spinebuster out of the corner from the second rope for the titles. I like that ending which is like a theme tonight or something. Post match Long said he would do it and he was right. This would wind up being the longest tag title reign in WCW history as they would hold the titles until next February.

Also, this was just below Sheamus beating Cena on the shock scale as while they were both big deals, the Steiners had been champions for nearly a year and were more or less unstoppable up to this point.

Rating: B+. Better than the previous one and another very good match. This has been a great show for tag wrestling as I thought it would be. This lived up to the hype of a very big showdown which is always a good thing. These two were both big time powerhouse teams and this worked very well. I liked it more than I should have but Doom is just awesome so there we are.

NWA World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

No build or anything for this as we’re just ready to go. He’s injured although we’re never told what part of Luger is hurt. Luger is US Champion here as well. Flair is a young man here and only a six time champion at this point. Woman is with him and she looks horrible. Flair however has the black and white robe on so that makes up for it. This is a cage match. I completely forgot about that which is likely not a good sign.

Ok why do you keep saying this show is about Robocop? He was on it for all of a minute. This is more or less a Hell in a Cell match as the cage is HUGE and goes beyond the ring. It’s also one of those where the holes are large enough to throw a baby through. Luger and Flair fought for like 2 years over the belt with Flair always cheating or losing by DQ so this is almost a running joke to NWA fans.

Hang on though as we need a weapons check.  Woman, who is inside the cage, is checked and the referee FINDS SOMETHING IN HER GLOVE. Wow that’s a weird one. The referee puts it in his pocket which I’m sure will come into play later.  There’s a cameraman in the ring too which is odd. Ah ok it was his knee and a staph infection. Thank you for letting us know that. This is on a Saturday. That’s rather odd. Flair has been champion over a year at this point so he’s definitely the favorite. Luger busts out the original Pec Dance as he’s dominating so far. Luger beats on Flair on the floor with the cage and to the shock of everyone, Flair is busted open.

Why can the ropes make a save in a cage match? Ross says he’s slamming his head into the cage like a tennis ball. First of all, who has a cage like this and two, who rams tennis balls into a cage? This has been ALL Luger for over ten minutes now. And as I say that he messes up his knee on a top rope suplex. Flair’s head is more or less completely red here but has to break the figure four because Luger gets the ropes. IN A CAGE MATCH?

And here are the Horsemen with Barry Windham. Sting and El Gigante come out to get rid of the Horsemen but somehow Ole gets the control of the cage and raises it so Barry can get in. And we have a DQ in a cage match of all things.

The Horsemen beat the heck out of him until Sting finally gets it back up and makes the save. Sting vs. Flair would be the main event of Great American Bash in two months where Sting would get the title. Gigante looks like he’s wearing armor almost. Sting jumping Flair closes the show.

Rating: B+. WEAK ending aside, this was the usual good Flair/Luger match. The Horsemen did their thing: keep the belt on Flair. That is what the Horsemen were all about at the end of the day: keeping the belt on Flair. This match was really quite good though as Luger and Flair always had awesome chemistry together, and considering that this was literally just a filler feud to get to Sting vs. Flair while Sting’s knee healed, this worked very well.

Overall Rating: B+. Considering this is the walking definition of a throwaway show (nothing really happened other than the tag titles changing), this is a VERY good show. Also, the home video omits the six man, the Taker match and the Samoans match, leaving you with just the hair match onward.

Translation: the home video is AWESOME, but the PPV version was just great. Either way though, the card is great as after the Samoan match, it’s all gravy baby as a buddy of mine would say. Very recommended show as it has the good stuff of the 80s but on a 90s setting. Find this if you can.

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