Thought of the Day: Gimmick Match Overload Isn’t Anything New

I know people say that gimmick matches dominate wrestling today, but let’s look back to the 80s.Looking at the first few Starrcades, here’s what you have:

1983 – eight matches, two gimmicks

1984 – eleven matches, three gimmicks

1985 – eleven matches, six gimmicks

1986 – twelve matches, six gimmicks

1987 – seven matches, three gimmicks

 

In the old NWA days, there were two Starrcades with at least half of the matches being gimmick matches.  This is hardly a new thing.




Mayhem 1999: For The Canadian In All Of Us

Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




On This Day: May 1, 2011 – Extreme Rules 2011: Take Wrestlemania And Add Gimmicks

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month. The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title. If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will. Not really but it sounds good. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Last man standing here. New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences. And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out. Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in. Hot start as they go right at it. We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade. They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace. The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes. Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts. Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time. Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8. As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting. Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring. GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later. That counts as being up though as it should. Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep. Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down. Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up. Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post. THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off. They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever. There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9. I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps. When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move. Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick. Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top. SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to. I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going. I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well. Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match. He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US. He demands to see the birth certificate. This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early. First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor. Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down. Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi. We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it. Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs. Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again. The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away. Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table. The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine. Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned. This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore. He can’t spell conspiracy. The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is. Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

 

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps. Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap. Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday. Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old. Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him. Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face. There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes. Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole. Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold. Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger! Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole. Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit. Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow. He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it. Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more. Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE! This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it? Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead. Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks. Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight. Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody. Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has. That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Falls count anywhere. People hand out the bags which is a nice touch. Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw. Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor. They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two. Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head. NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now. Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match. Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two. That looked awesome. Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match. Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring. Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace. Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two. Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying. 619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other. This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered. Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years. They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary. Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

 

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant. This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile. Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

Ladder match here. Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown. If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance. Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over. Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over. Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform. Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first. The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending. They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided. Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first. Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save. Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done. The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down. Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian. They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control. Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere. Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down. I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder. Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever. Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK. FREAKING OW MAN! There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down. Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over. Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel. Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID. He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car. Brodus is busted BAD. The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion. One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move. I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances. He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now. It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here. Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival. I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles. It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

 

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left. Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates. Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two. Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over. Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess. It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson. Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later. DH Smith is actually here. Wow indeed. They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory. The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett. Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here. They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing. This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note. I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

 

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape. Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him. Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already. Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save. Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves. They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air. I give up. Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster. That looked SICK. Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape. Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes. Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape. He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do. With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door. Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor. Cena gets two on Morrison. BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two. Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz. They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down. Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head. Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison. Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused. Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage. He hasn’t touched Miz. Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up. He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena. They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena? Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine. The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts. This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign. They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome. There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good. This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here. Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard. That’s what you want here and it paid off. Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




On This Day: April 30, 2000 – Backlash 2000: This Is What Wrestlemania Should Have Been

Backlash 2000
Date: April 30, 2000
Location: MCI Center, Washington, DC
Attendance: 17,867
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final series. This feels like the last week at school when you realize that it’s over after this. This show is probably what Wrestlemania should have been. The company was on fire at this point and this might be the best show of the year for the best year of the company. The main event is Rock vs. HHH for the title with Shane as guest referee. There are also rumors of a Rattlesnake sighting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Rock vs. HHH who has most of the McMahons in his corner. The idea here is McMahons/HHH vs. Rock/Austin. Austin blew up a bus or something recently.

Here’s a VERY drunk Debra to announce the first match. This is her return to the company after awhile.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. D-Generation X

This would be Road Dogg/X-Pac and the Canadians are the champions. I do miss DX’s Kings of Rock theme. I also miss Tori. Debra is GONE. Edge vs. X-Pac gets us going. Pac speeds things up and armdrags Edge down. Edge takes him down as well and hits a spinwheel kick to clear the ring. Back in Pac spits at him and tags out to Roadie. The champs hit Poetry in Motion and it’s off to Christian vs. Dogg.

The Canadian gets guillotined on the top and Pac kicks Christian’s head off. He’s sent to the floor due to a Tori distraction, resulting in him being sent into the steps. Back in Road Dogg stops a tag and the Bronco Buster keeps Christian in trouble. Some hard kicks to the back get two for Roadie. Christian comes back but gets caught in the dancing punches to a big reaction. Shaky knee gets two.

I think they’re both supposed to try a cross body but Christian looked like he just jumped into the one from Road Dogg. Pac breaks up the tag but while he’s being put out, Edge drops a swan dive on Road Dogg which gets two for Christian. Christian escapes a double something into a double reverse DDT. Everyone but Edge is down and there’s the hot tag. Pac’s rana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two. Unprettier is broken up but Edge spears down Road Dogg. Tori gets up and Pac accidentally drills her, getting a rollup for two by Edge. X-Factor takes Edge down but Christian hits him with the bell so Edge can pin him.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as both teams were moving well out there. That’s what you do for an opener: get the crowd fired up and make them cheer, even though the Canadians were on the verge of turning heel anyway. Good solid opener here and it was fast paced enough to fire up the fans.

Debra can barely say WWF Tag Team Champions. Pac was busted open.

Rock is here.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is champion and this is Scotty’s rematch I believe. Scotty dances with Lillian pre-match. Scotty starts off fast with some near falls. Belly to back puts Dean down and Scotty nips up into the Moonwalk. He sets for the bulldog to set up the Worm but Dean clotheslines him down instead. Dean, the heel, tries to get the buckle pad off but can’t quite get it. He rams Scotty into the buckle anyway and we head outside.

A dropkick to the knee gets two and Dean works the leg over a bit. After a quick leg lock he wraps it around the post a few times. Back to the leg lock and then a leg lace. Dean hits a knee crusher but Scotty comes back with an enziguri. That gets him nowhere so it’s back to the knee by Dean. He tries a spinning toehold but Scotty kicks him into the corner and rolls him up for two.

Malenko kicks at the knee again but then charges at Scotty, sending both of them out to the floor. Back in Dean hits a superplex to put both guys down. Dean is up first but walks into a backslide for two. Scotty bulldogs him down and it’s Worm time! That gets two so Malenko rolls him up with feet on the ropes for two. Things are speeding way up. Tiger Bomb gets two for Dean and he’s frustrated.

Scotty comes back at him again but walks into a powerslam for two. He tries to put Dean on the apron but gets guillotined down on the top rope. Malenko goes up top but Scotty pops him with a right hand. Scotty goes up for a superplex but Dean counters in mid air into a DDT. FREAKING OW MAN and Dean retains. SICK counter.

Rating: B. Malenko is awesome but unfortunately he never quite did anything of note in the WWF. The Light Heavyweight Title was almost exclusively defended on the late night weekend shows which meant that most people didn’t know the title was around or who held it. Dean would hold it until a few weeks before the next Wrestlemania. This was a really good match though and that ending is GREAT.

The McMahon-Helmsley Era (I think that’s their name at this point at least) is in the back and Patterson and Brisco swear their loyalty. Vince says it’s all hands on deck tonight.

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. Acolytes

Brawl to start and it’s Bradshaw vs. Buchanan to get us going. A DDT puts Buchanan down and Bradshaw goes up top for a shoulder which gets two. A spear puts Bull down as does a fallaway slam. Off to Boss Man vs. Farrooq with a Boss Man Sucks chant at the same time. Farrooq suplexes him down for two and Boss Man goes to the floor. Bradshaw puts him into the steps to keep the Acolytes in control. This is a VERY fast paced match.

Bradshaw sends him to the floor again where Farrooq gets in a few shots. It’s basically been a squash up to this point. Simmons comes in legally and finally gets taken down by Boss Man. Off to Buchanan who drops an elbow and pounds Farrooq into the corner. Farrooq plays Ricky Morton which some pretty original casting.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long as it’s off to Bradshaw. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw goes up. Boss Man slows him up so that Buchanan can suplex him down for two. Buchanan misses a charge and the Clothesline gets two. A nightstick shot stops Bradshaw dead and an ax kick from the top (cool!) gets the pin.

Rating: B-. What in the world was this??? Who would have ever thought these four would have had a match that was almost faster paced than DX and Edge/Christian? The ending was great too with Buchanan’s ax kick looking great, although it wound up being more like a Fameasser. Still though, good match and a HUGE surprise.

The Hardys are in the back and say they’ll fight if they have to over the Hardcore Title.

Hardcore Holly is looking forward to beating up Crash for the Hardcore Title. Crash offers a handshake and gets slapped in the head.

We go to the announce desk for a quick talk. That’s normal but for some reason a name graphic comes up that says Tim Russert. I rewound it to see if that’s what it said and it certainly did. How odd.

Hardcore Title: Crash Holly vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Perry Saturn vs. Tazz

Matt was defending against Jeff when Crash came in and stole the title. You can only win here by pinning Crash or Crash can win by pinning anyone. That’s a unique twist on multi-man rules. Crash runs into a cameraman during Saturn’s entrance. Saturn immediately suplexes Crash for two. Hardcore powerbombs him for the same. The idea here is pretty clear: everyone is going after Crash one at a time and then they’ll fight each other. Northern lights suplex gets two for Tazz. Remember there’s no point in anyone covering anyone but Crash.

Crash runs up the ramp and climbs the structure (it’s the cool one with the swinging hooks). He’s followed by Matt and winds up getting hung upside down by his knee. Everyone gets him down so Matt dives on all of them. The fans are impressed. Saturn does something to Matt that we miss and a piece of the structure breaks off. Jeff dives off part of it as well to take down Saturn. Matt and Crash head to the ring and Jeff joins them for some double teaming.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with what’s going on. Saturn hooks a freaky arm bending hold on Crash but Matt breaks it up. Even the announcers can barely keep up with what’s going on here. Tazz gets a clothesline and Matt covers for two. The Hardys beat up Tazz and Hardcore on the floor. Hardcore suplexes Crash out there for no cover. There are some signs being used as weapons now.

Back in the ring and Crash dropkicks Tazz down for two. There’s an extension cord in the ring now and all six guys are in as well. Tazz pops the Hardys with a sign and gets two on Crash. C rash barely has any offense at all for the most part here. Saturn suplexes Hardcore and gets two on Crash. The Hardys both have cookie sheets and they clean a few rooms. Jeff hits a Sabu style moonsault on Crash so Saturn can get two. Hardcore superplexes Crash for two. A Falcon Arrow onto a chair gets the same.

Jeff brings in a ladder (JR: “The ladder gets a pop!”) and beats up everyone in sight not named Matt with it. This has already gone on way too long. Hardcore gets thrown into the ladder while Saturn is outside on the announce table. Jeff Swantons Crash from the top of the ladder and Matt steals a two count, leading to a brotherly fight. Tazmission to Crash but Saturn clocks Tazz with a stop sign. Jeff dives on Saturn and Crash steals the pin on Tazz to retain. The Hardys music plays for some reason.

Rating: D+. You can’t say Crash didn’t earn it after a beating like that. The match went on too long though, clocking in at over 12 minutes. The problem was they ran out of stuff to do about 8 minutes in, so from about that far in until they bring in the ladder, this was a lot of laying around and doing nothing of note. It would have been better with less time.

Shane says he doesn’t have a conflict of interest tonight.

We recap Angle vs. Show. Show has “gone Hollywood” resulting in some funny imitations. HHH gave Angle and Show a tag title shot but Angle didn’t like Show being a fat Scottish guy so Angle jumped him. This went badly, setting up the following match.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

Angle runs down Marian Berry, who is mayor of Washington DC. He’s also a former crackhead. The lack of integrity is what’s wrong with America. That means we need a Real American…..and that’s what we get. Here’s Big Show doing the absolute best Hulk Hogan imitation you’ll EVER see. He’s got a Showster t-shirt with the rips in the back, yellow boots, a bald skull cap with blonde hair down the sides, he does the hand to the ear, rips the shirt and throws it, and does the swinging arms warmup that Hulk did. And then, he talks.

Doing an even better Hogan imitation, he talks about being to the top of the mountain and says dude and brother more times than should be humanly allowed. Angle jumps him but Show HULKS UP almost immediately. Right hand doesn’t work (JR: “The old no sell!”) so Show punches him three times and hits the big boot. LEG DROP gets two and a bigger reaction than anything else so far, which is saying a lot as the fans were going nuts the entire time so far.

Angle goes for the leg and the fans chant for Hogan. Show (who has his goatee dyed too) rips off the cap and hair and destroys Angle in the corner. Chokeslam ends this quick. It’s too short to rate but as a match it was worthless. From an entertainment perspective, this is one of the best and funniest moments you’ll ever see. Check this out as it’s well worth it if you’re a Hogan fan.

We recap T&A vs. the Dudleys. The Dudleys are the hot new team and Bubba likes to put women through tables. The only one he hasn’t been able to do it to is Trish, so Trish has been making these sexy videos about tables. She keeps kissing him to keep from being put through the tables and then T&A would put him through it instead.

Trish, still the evil chick who wears skin tight tiny outfits and has more sexual innuendo than Lawler could ever dream of, says Bubba will see how she feels in a minute.

Bubba is in another of his trances.

T&A vs. Dudley Boys

Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.

Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.

The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.

Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

Post match Bubba hits the Cutter (called a neckbreaker by JR who is way off tonight) on Test and grabs Trish. She French kisses him but gets powerbombed through the table anyway. The orgasmic look on Bubba’s face is always great. Trish is taken out on a stretcher.

Chyna and Eddie arrive. Eddie is told he has a match next. They’re just arriving from the prom as Eddie has earned his GED if I remember correctly.

As Eddie is changing in the aisle, we get a quick recap of him hooking up with Chyna. Essa was Eddie’s partner one night and Lita accidentally moonsaulted Eddie. Chyna threatened her and Lita hit Eddie again. This is before Lita meant anything.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Essa Rios

Rios has Lita with him. Eddie immediately dropkicks him down but Rios speeds things up to take over. A Saito suplex stops that completely and Eddie works on the arm. Rios tries to run the corner out of a wristlock but slips off the ropes and has to drop it. Instead an armdrag sends Eddie to the floor but Rios’ dive misses. Slingshot hilo hits Essa and Eddie is in full control. Apparently Trish has been taken to the hospital.

Rios is sent to the floor where Chyna drills him with a forearm. Rios comes back with a missile dropkick for two. The fans don’t really seem to care here. Things speed up and Eddie gets launched into the ropes by Rios’ feet. Eddie sends him to the floor with ease and Chyna fires off another big forearm. Eddie dives on him and you can hear the Spanish announce team talking.

Guerrero loads up a powerbomb on the floor so Lita goes up top for the save. Chyna shoves her off and Lita crashes into the table. Rios runs in and hits a HUGE moonsault off the top to send Eddie into the table. Back in the ring a missile dropkick puts Eddie down and to the floor where Essa hits a HUGE over the corner dive. Back in Eddie hits a superplex and a brainbuster, but Rios armdrags him off the top. The big moonsault (gorgeous one too) hits Eddie’s knees and a Gory Bomb into an airplane spin into a neckbreaker gets the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This started slow but once they started busting out the lucha stuff, this got very good very fast. Rios is a guy that never quite clicked in the WWF but his chick certainly did. Lita would hook up with the Hardys the next month and become as famous as she ever did in her career. Very fun match here.

Post match Lita rips off Chyna’s dress, revealing some very nice and very small blue underwear. This was when Chyna was still hot.

HHH is still in street clothes and says he has nothing to worry about. Vince is smug about Austin not being here yet.

Benoit says Jericho may say he’s great but Benoit is the champion.

We get the second schoolgirl video of the night. It says Judgment Day is coming. That’s Undertaker.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Does this need a backstory at all? Benoit is champion and I think that’s all you need to know. Jericho is a face here…..I think? The fans chant for him so we’ll say he is. They jockey for position on the ropes and tumble out to the floor. Back into the ring and they hit a series of rollups I can’t keep up with. They trade skin ripping chops before Jericho gets on top of him with right hands. Benoit gets up and tries some Germans but Jericho grabs the top rope.

Instead Benoit throws him over the top and out to the floor. Suicide dive misses and Benoit crashes ONTO HIS HEAD on the floor. That’s a much scarier move knowing what we know now. Benoit gets back up and sends Jericho into the steps but he jumps over them to avoid contact. Benoit is cool with that and dropkicks them into Jericho’s knees to take over. Back inside Benoit gets two off a gutbuster.

The champ drapes Jericho over the top rope and hooks an abdominal stretch. Jericho comes out of it and hits the Lionsault but he can’t cover because of the ribs and a possible arm injury. Eventually it gets two and they get back up. Benoit gets his boot up in the corner but Jericho kicks his head off with a spinwheel kick. Jericho cradles him for two and then drapes him over the top just like Benoit did earlier. The challenger tries his springboard dropkick but Benoit avoids the contact.

Benoit goes up but gets crotched with his back to the ring. Jericho tries a belly to back superplex but Benoit spins around in the air and lands on Jericho for a delayed two. Awesome match so far. Jericho hits his double powerbomb for two but Benoit counters the cover into the Crossface. That gets broken up by a rope so Jericho tries the Walls but he can’t quite hook it before Benoit makes the rope.

They head into the ropes and Jericho accidentally forearms the referee. Benoit grabs the belt to blast Jericho in the face and tick off all the fans. That only gets two and the kickout gets an eruption. Benoit snap suplexes him onto the belt and goes up top for the Swan Dive. Jericho moves and Benoit hits the belt which was under Jericho……AND THAT’S A DQ??? Oh freaking blow me! JR flat out says that decision sucks.

Rating: A-. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? This was getting AWESOME and was probably on the way to being the best non-ladder match I can ever remember with these two, but then we didn’t get to see the ending. At least the replay shows that Jericho picked up the belt because it looked like he just moves and Benoit hit it. That being said, Benoit vs. Jericho with 15 minutes is more than worth watching.

Jericho puts the referee in the Walls post match. Good.

We recap HHH vs. Rock. Vince turned on Rock to help HHH retain at Wrestlemania and said that Rock would never be champion again. Rock beat Boss Man and Buchanan in a cage to get a rematch but was beaten down after the match ended. Vince stacked the deck so Linda said Austin would be in Rock’s corner. He hadn’t been seen since November so this was a big deal. Austin blew up DX’s bus to end Smackdown.

Rock says if Austin isn’t here, he’ll win the title anyway.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Triple H

HHH is champion, Vince is in his corner, Shane is guest referee, Stephanie is HOT in a little dark blue dress. Vince points out the card subject to change line in the program, which means that Austin isn’t here. Slugout to start and Rock knocks him down after a delay into the spit punch. Rock stomps him down in the corner but Shane drags him off. Brahma Bull charges at HHH but gets sent to the floor.

HHH sends him into the steps and then the announce table. Vince posts Rock and throws him back in as the odds are stacked very high already. That only gets two, as do the suplex and knee drop. HHH hooks on a long chinlock and puts his feet on the top rope. Shane has been leaving his eyes elsewhere of course. Rock finally gets up and drops HHH onto the buckle to escape. He fires off right hands and they clothesline each other.

Rock knocks him into the corner but Vince pops up with a belt shot to put him down for a very close two. Rock gets up and throws HHH to the floor where he may have hurt his arm. Back in the ring Rock hits a spinning DDT but Shane won’t count. Rock goes after Shane and they head to the floor where HHH gets in a shot to take over. Pedigree through the table is countered by a low blow but Shane doesn’t DQ him for some reason. Instead he gets up on the table too and it’s a DOUBLE ROCK BOTTOM through the table.

Both guys are half dead but Rock gets up first. There’s no referee, but it doesn’t really matter as Shane wouldn’t count a pin anyway. Vince gets in the ring with the guys and hits Rock in the back. That goes badly as you would expect because HHH gets back up and hits a Pedigree. Here are Patterson and Brisco to count but Rock kicks out. The Stooges pound on Rock and HHH gets in some shots too. His arm is clearly hurt.

Vince hits Rock in the head with a chair so hard that he falls down too. CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin, to a MASSIVE pop, comes out with a chair and murders everyone in sight. Everyone is down so Austin leaves as Linda and the recently fired Earl Hebner come out. Stephanie gets shoved down and it’s a spinebuster and the People’s Elbow to give Rock the title back.

Rating: B+. Why this didn’t happen at Wrestlemania I’m not sure. Either way, it happened here and it was GREAT. This was the Attitude Era formula of throw EVERYTHING out there but give the fans what they want in the end. That makes the wild brawling ok and it gives Rock the title back, which is how it should be. Austin’s pop was incredible and thankfully for Rock’s time on top, Austin wouldn’t be back to action for about six more months.

Rock celebrates but here’s Austin in his truck. He’s hauling the remnants of the DX Express behind him. Austin and Rock drink beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This was an EXCELLENT show with everything hitting on all cylinders. The worst match was certainly fine and the main event was great. You couple that with a hilarious moment in the Showster and a great main event that needed to happen and this could be nothing but great. Rock and HHH would trade the title some more over the summer and it was always awesome. Great show and well worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Monday Night Raw – April 29, 2013: Best Raw In A LONG Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 29, 2013
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re back stateside now and the big story is that Cena has an injured Achilles. Based on the fact that he kept wrestling while in Europe, odds are the injury isn’t that bad. Other than that we’re likely about to get more of the Extreme Rules card filled in now. It’s interesting that other than the cage match, I don’t think any of the matches have any gimmick attached unless you count a triple threat as EXTREME. Let’s get to it.

Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Zeb Colter vs. Big E. Langston

The winner of this gets to pick the stipulation for the triple threat at Extreme Rules. Colter immediately heads to the apron to leave Langston vs. Ricardo. I don’t think you have to tag here but it’s not entirely clear. Langston of course runs over Ricardo like he’s not even there and toys with him in the corner for a bit. Ricardo jumps over a charging Big E. in the corner and fires off some shots of his own. Colter comes in to pound away as well but Langston is mainly just annoyed.

Ricardo goes after Colter and the fans chant USA. Langston takes Ricardo’s head off with a clothesline but Zeb shoves him away like an idiot. Colter gets stared down and claims a knee injury, allowing Ricardo to hit Big E. in the back with the bucket. This has no effect whatsoever, much like a shot to the head. Langston suplexes Ricardo down as Swagger, Del Rio and Ziggler all run in. All three and Langston fall to the floor and Colter tries a quick cover on Ricardo. AJ makes the save and Ricardo rolls up Colter for the pin at 5:00. Alberto gets to pick the stipulations at Extreme Rules.

Rating: D+. How do you rate something like this? The whole point was to give us a mess and have Langston not win at the end. Either way, I don’t think any stipulation is going to make that much of a deal given how much they’ve devalued all three guys in the past few weeks. I can’t say this was bad because it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than this. At least Langston didn’t get pinned.

We talk about Cena’s injury for a bit. He’s here tonight.

Today is World Wish Day and we see Cena granting another Make-A-Wish on the Today Show. Love him or hate him, this is always cool to see.

Cena comes out with the kids for World Wish Day. That’s awesome.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Rhodes gets the jobber treatment by just being at ringside when Orton comes out. Orton shoves Cody around to start and throws him over the top, only to have Cody skin the cat. Randy is fine with that and dropkicks Cody down twice for two. Cody finally gets in a shot and stomps away in the corner as Cole continues to list off stats about everyone. All of the announcers have been doing it for the entire match. Orton comes back with a suplex for two and the fans want the RKO, only to have Cody dropkick Orton to the floor instead. Randy clotheslines Rhodes down on the floor and heads back inside as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cody into the post on the floor before getting kicked off the apron by the Disaster Kick. That gets a few near falls back inside before Cody just goes nuts on Orton and stomps away. Off to a chinlock on Orton before Cody uppercuts him down for no cover. Back up and Cody drops an elbow on the back of the head for two, only to go up again and get crotched down. Orton superplexes him down for two and loads up the RKO, only to be countered into the Cross Rhodes for two. Cody loads up the Disaster Kick again but jumps into the RKO for the pin at 16:08.

Rating: C+. I wanted to hate this match but the near fall off Cross Rhodes helped it a lot. The problem at the end of the day is that Cody has been crushed so far over the last 18 months that it’s impossible to take him as a serious threat to anyone anymore. This got better after some time but it was more long than good.

Post match Orton says he’s more focused than ever and catches a sneaky Cody in another RKO for good measure.

The Bellas plug the E! show and brag about how good they look.

We get a look at the Divas show.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

Naomi does all of her jumping and flipping to start before knocking Brie to the floor. The Bellas switch and Nikki rolls up Naomi for the pin at 1:15.

Oh wait Cameron complains to the referee and gets the decision switched to a DQ. The Funkadactyls get beaten up post match.

Here’s the Shield without even getting to hear the beginning of their entrance. They talk about beating everyone from Ryback to Rock to Sheamus to Cena and now Undertaker. We get some clips of all the attacks and Ambrose starts talking about their match with Cena/Ryback tonight, only to be cut off by 3MB. They say they’re going to rock Shield’s party tonight and the fight is on. The Band is of course beaten up and here’s HELL NO for the save. Shield runs from the two of them so the champs beat up 3MB.

Cena is getting his ankle taped when Ryback comes in. Ryback talks some trash but Cena says he’s hurt and not injured. Ryback says he can’t take any chances tonight.

Back and the announcers talk about a Dominos pizza tracker and say the King’s pizza will be here in 40 minutes.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title of course. Kofi takes him down to start and hits a hard kick to the head followed by a spinning springboard splash for two. Ziggler comes back with a headlock to slow things down but Kofi hits a jumping back elbow to put the world champ down. Kofi heads to the apron for some kind of springboard, only to be dropkicked off the apron as we take a break. Back with Dolph holding a reverse chinlock followed by a clothesline in the corner to put Kingston down again.

After a neckbreaker from Dolph, Kofi moves out of the way of a splash in the corner to put both guys down. Kofi fights out of the corner and hits his elbows to the face and the Boom Drop, only to have Dolph duck Trouble in Paradise and DDT Kofi down for two. The SOS gets two for Kingston and there’s Trouble in Paradise, but AJ puts Dolph’s foot on the ropes. Langston tries to revive Ziggler but Kofi takes them both out with a dive.

Back in and the top rope cross body gets two on Dolph, drawing AJ in for a distraction. Zigger gets two off a rollup as does Kofi, but Dolph’s dropkick is caught in a slingshot into the corner. A springboard spinning splash misses Ziggler and the Zig Zag is good for the pin on Kofi at 12:18.

Rating: B. Good match here from these two as is their custom. They’ve fought each other so many times that their chemistry has had a great chance to grow, making for some great matches. The interference didn’t help Ziggler any, but at least he won with a clean pin off his finisher for a change.

Post match Langston hits two Big Endings on Kofi.

AJ and Kaitlyn have a staredown in the back. Kaitlyn gets a present and has a secret admirer.

Video on HHH vs. Lesnar.

Ryback comes in to see Vickie and Brad because Cena is out of the handicap match tonight. Vickie offers to make it a six man tag with HELL NO but Ryback declines.

King’s pizza is delivered to fans by mistake.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder shows us a clip from earlier tonight with Colter losing to Ricardo. Swagger runs over Ryder to start and puts on a fast armbar. A powerslam gets two for Jack and there’s a DDT on the leg. Two Vader Bombs crush Zack’s ribs as Swagger can’t pick a body part to work on. A third is countered by Zack raising his feet up and there’s a backdrop to put Swagger on the floor. Ryder hits a baseball slide to take Jack down again but back inside it’s the gutwrench powerbomb and the Patriot Lock for the submission at 3:06.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see a guy who works as hard as Ryder get to show off a bit. I’m still annoyed at WWE for what they did to him last year but at least he’s still got a job. The match was a glorified squash at first but Ryder made it entertaining enough. Swagger’s character is rapidly dying but at least his in ring work is picking WAY up.

Post match Colter hits a right hand on Ryder.

During the break Ryback left the building.

Here’s Mark Henry who says he’s going to prove how strong he is. He has a big rope with him and there’s a red line in the ring. Apparently it’s a tug of war against Tensai. Henry wins with ease so now he’s going to do the same thing with Brodus Clay. Cole: “If you drop your elbow below your knee it’s a foul.” Jerry: “WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Henry wins with ease but here’s Sheamus with a challenge. They start the tug of war and Sheamus actually moves him a bit but Henry easily takes over. Sheamus lets go and Henry goes down, followed by a Brogue Kick to lay Henry out.

We look at the Make-A-Wish stuff from earlier.

HELL NO is in a handicap match with the Shield but Vickie tells Brad she needs him to do one more thing.

Post match Brad Maddox comes in to see Cena (“Hey Braden Walker”) but John says he’s in the main event as HELL NO’s partner.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio

As the match starts we hear, I kid you not, yodeling trivia. Cesaro suplexes him down but gets caught with a running kick to the arm in the corner. Alberto goes after the arm and hooks an armbar. Cesaro comes back with some forearms to the back of the head, only to walk into a hurricanrana. Alberto sends him into the corner and hits the forearms to the back and the Backstabber has Cesaro in trouble. The armbreaker is loaded up but Cesaro rolls to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro holding Del Rio in a chinlock before getting two off the gutwrench suplex. The running European uppercut gets the same in the corner and it’s back to the chinlock. A suplex puts Alberto down again but Alberto fires off some clotheslines to come back. Del Rio goes up but dives into another uppercut. Cesaro charges into the post though, allowing Alberto to hit the low superkick for a close two. The armbreaker is countered into a rollup which is countered into the armbreaker for the tap out at 13:27.

Rating: B-. Another good match in a series of them for the three guys in the world title match tonight. Alberto continues to be solid in the ring although the crowd is only kind of into him. They were chanting OLE for him tonight though which is as good as anything else to get the fans into his match so maybe there’s hope for him.

Post match Alberto announces that it’s a ladder match for the title at the PPV.

It’s time for a dance off between Fandango and Great Khali. Khali says he’s a better ballroom dancer than Chris Jericho and gets to show off with Natalya. After what I think was a tango, Fandango says Jericho was clumsy on Dancing with the Stars. His chick is named Summer Rae and their dance is far better. Piped in noise give the win to Khali and Natalya. Fandango lays out Khali post contest.

Shield vs. HELL NO/John Cena

Shield comes in to fight before the bell but gets sent to the floor with ease. It’s Kane vs. Ambrose to officially start things off with Dean getting beaten down. Off to Reigns who gets thrown around by the big fried freak, only to be taken into the Shield corner and double teamed into trouble. Kane kicks Rollins down and it’s off to Cena but his bad ankle acts up in a hurry, meaning it’s off to Bryan instead.

Daniel fires off some kicks before it’s off to Ambrose vs. Kane again. Bryan comes back in and fires off a bunch of kicks to Ambrose before hooking a surfboard. Kane comes in for a dropkick but the top rope clothesline misses. Off to Rollins for a double suplex and now it’s Kane in trouble for a change as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose working over Bryan before it’s off to Rollins for a kick to the chest and a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. A hard kick to the back of Bryan’s head gets two as Cena plays cheerleader. Reigns hits a Samoan Drop for two but Bryan sends him to the floor, allowing for a hot tag to Kane. Rollins is sent to the floor and there’s the top rope clothesline to Ambrose.

Kane sends Dean to the floor before loading up the announce table. A Rollins distraction lets Ambrose hit a quick DDT to take Kane down but he makes it back in at nine. Ambrose goes nuts on him with knees to the head but gets caught in a quick chokeslam. The hot tag brings in Cena who initiates his finishing sequence on Reigns, only to catch Rollins in the AA. The ankle gives out though and Reigns spears down Cena for the pin at 15:24.

Rating: B. ANOTHER very good match tonight and ANOTHER major rub for Shield. That’s John Cena that they just pinned clean in the middle of the ring. Not Ryback, not Sheamus, but Cena. If you didn’t believe in the Shield before, I’m not sure what it’s going to take for you to do so now. Good main event here and a HUGE moment for Shield.

Ryback is still here. I’m shocked too.

Overall Rating: A. I liked this show WAY better than I have most recently. The main thing here was that they were trying some new ideas. Between the triple threat, the mystery admirer and the tug of war, stories were advanced tonight without using the same old worn out ideas. Couple that with some good wrestling and build for a PPV and I’m rather pleased with the show.

On the other hand, there’s the ridiculous commentary dragging things down. It was like a trivia night from Cole with factoids ranging from tug of war fouls to yodeling trivia. Is that supposed to interest me? Am I supposed to want to buy Extreme Rules more because I hear that stuff? It’s more of a distraction than anything else and was REALLY annoying tonight. Other than that though, very good show.

Results

Ricardo Rodriguez b. Zeb Colter and Big E. Langston – Rollup to Colter

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Naomi b. Brie Bella via DQ when Nikki Bella interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Shield b. John Cena/HELL NO – Spear to Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




The Cena Make-A-Wish Stuff Tonight

Love him or hate him, that’s just awesome.  Period.

 

Go ahead and disagree.  Please.  Try to.




On This Day: April 29, 1999 – Smackdown Pilot: The Birth Of A Superstable

Smackdown (Pilot)
Date: April 29, 1999
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Cornette

So around this time which is about a month after Mania 15, the WWF was REALLY big. WCW was on the ropes and WWF just started pouring it on. This is another example of what they were going to try to do. Much like WCW with Thunder, they wanted to add a second weekly TV show.

Now that didn’t actually happen until August, but this is the test run. This is a pilot for a show called Smackdown that became a regular series in about four months. I have never seen this as I didn’t have UPN at the time, so this is new territory for me as well. Let’s get to it.

We recap Backlash where Shane cost Rock the title and the following night where Rock called Shane out. It resulted in a beatdown which turned Rock face. It also had Stephanie being abducted by the Ministry and Vince going to Austin for help. It was also the night of the Black Wedding which is perhaps my all time favorite moment with Austin riding in like the cavalry to save his archenemy’s daughter because “it was the right thing to do.” I could watch that all day.

Stephanie and Vince come out to no music even though No Chance has been in use for awhile now. She doesn’t have implants or curled hair here nor most of her curves. DANG she looks great. She’s just flat out beautiful no matter how you look at her. The fans say they hate Vince and he agrees.

He would turn mega heel very soon so it’s not like it matters. Vince and Stephanie thank Shamrock, Show and Austin who made the save. In two funny moments, we’re told by Stephanie that her clothes were ripped off and that Taker kept touching her. Both get big pops. That’s just funny. Shane and the Corporation appears and I think I know what’s coming.

Shane says he would have made the save, even though a clip on Raw showed Shane stopping Boss Man, HHH and the Posse from running out to help. Shane is just totally evil at the moment and is on a pure power trip. I loved this character from him. After Vince and Stephanie leave, Shane says he wants Austin and the Rock.

They’re teaming together tonight and need opponents. HHH volunteers but Shane says “are there any takers?” Of course the lights go out and Takers’ AWESOME satanic music hits. Of course he’s the partner, and we’ll revisit this later.

Blue Blazer gets on Jeff Jarrett’s nerves.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is part of a rather complex/annoying storyline. Basically Val wants Debra but Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass wants Val so she’s helping him and expecting sex in return. Problem is she’s rather manly looking. There’s more to it than that but those are the basics. And here’s Blue Blazer who is apparently taking Jarrett’s place. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Blue Blazer

Ok so Jeff was subbing for Blazer who is now subbing for Jeff. Russo was still on the payroll at this point if that clears anything up. Blazer is in the cape mind you. It’s amazing to think that he had less than a month to live at this point. Cornette wonders why if Owen is the Blue Blazer, why doesn’t Jarrett call himself the Tweed Sportscoat? Debra gets on the apron for a distraction and it lets Jarrett interfere for the pin.

Bass comes out to hit on Val and they both run. Then Godfather comes out to claim Debra who he “won” in a match on Heat. She has to be a Ho for an undetermined amount of time. This was a way too complex four way feud that never went anywhere for obvious reasons. Owen and Jeff beat him down and leave with Debra.

Rating: N/A. Way too short to be anything of note here. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was yet another layer onto this incredibly difficult to comprehend story already.

Rock talks to no one in particular about nothing in particular.

Blue Blazer says the WWF needs him. This video was played just after his accident. This was a rather funny gimmick.

Big Show vs. Test

Show is freshly face here and also freshly in the company, having debuted about two and a half months ago. He was the first real sign that the war was in trouble for WCW as they were losing young guys like him. Test was recently thrown out of the Corporation so he would become a face either here or very soon.

He would also join what would become the Union which would start the Test/Stephanie love thing. Boss Man comes down almost immediately and Show hits a dropkick of all things. Chokeslam ends this in like a minute. Boss Man beats up Test afterwards but Show saves.

Rating: N/A. This was when the stories were more intricate and things were built far better than they are today. This would evolve into the Union rather soon.

And here’s The Rock. The fans are doing his lines for him which is always funny. Rock says that even though he and Austin are partners tonight, they’re not friends. Cue Rattlesnake to a bigger pop than Rock. Austin says Rock is a punk kid and just owns Rock here. Rock wasn’t ready for this spot yet and it was clear.

Here’s Shane again, and this is a very important moment if I remember correctly. Yep I remember correctly, as the lights go out and here’s Taker. After being told three times that Shane and Taker are indeed standing next to each other, we’re told that there is a CORPORATE MINISTRY!

I remember hearing about this on Raw a few weeks later and being SHOCKED. Vince would join soon to make them completely unbeatable but Austin would get the CEO spot and then the world title that he would lose lately shorter once again.

X-Pac and Kane say they get along, which to an extent was true.

Darren Drozdov vs. DLo Brown

This isn’t the match where Droz had his neck broken by Brown. That wouldn’t be until August. Albert is with Droz here and is brand new. Ivory is brand new here too and looks something close to decent. Blast it it’s great to hear Cornette just being awesome.

Obviously we only talk about the merger which is understandable here. Brown gets the Sky High out of nowhere but Albert stops the Lo Down. He interferes a bit later and that’s good enough for the DQ. Albert tries to pierce Brown somewhere but Mark Henry returns for the save.

Rating: D+. Not bad for what it was I guess but to say this was a contrast of styles is an understatement. Droz had been around for about a year at this point so it’s not like he was new or anything. If nothing else he had a good look I guess. Still though, pretty boring match although it set up the tag feud.

Sable has gone Hollywood. Even Howard Stern said she was hot.

The Outlaws argue over having friends.

Tag Titles: XPac/Kane vs. New Age Outlaws

The team that aren’t the Outlaws are the champions here. Kane doesn’t trust Pac yet they’re tag champions. My goodness: what WACKY tag champions! I believe this marked the 38475th time Russo wrote this up. Dang the Outlaws are over. Where in the world is this show? We’re never actually told that. Thanks to Disarray for showing me that website as it’s been rather useful.

Billy is being all serious here for some reason as he won’t do his usual shtick. Kane and Billy beat on each other a bit and we hear AGAIN about how Billy is the best pound for pound athlete in the company. Who thought that as they’re rather stupid. I’m sure he’s far better than Big Show who weighs 500lbs and is 7’2 yet can throw a standing dropkick that is rather good while being strong enough to lift things that are rather heavy.

Billy throws a dropkick and it’s legitimately not as good as Show’s was. The idea here is that Pac is a friend of the Outlaws so they don’t want to fight him that much, although Billy isn’t seeming to have many issues with it. Kane comes in to NO pop as the Road Dogg is way more popular. That’s rather odd but I think this is face vs. face. Yeah it is. Pac misses the Bronco Buster and I begin to smile.

Road Dogg hits a low blow in front of the referee for a lack of a disqualification and the Fameasser gets two. In a somewhat creative ending, Gunn gets Pac in a gorilla press but Kane knocks Road Dogg into Gunn and Pac falls on him for the pin. That protects both teams actually and it worked. A nice thing here was Cornette doing the wrestling commentary while Cole was all about the angles etc. That’s a balance they need to get back today.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but nothing really all that special. They did a decent job of furthering the Kane is confused stuff while setting up the future Outlaws split. For the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t have that as the final of the KOTR but went with Pac vs. Gunn instead but whatever. Match was fine.

Austin is getting ready.

Gunn is at Road Dogg and says the team is done.

Michaels Hayes introduces the Brood, which is still some of the coolest music I have ever heard. Also they had that ring of fire for an entrance. Cornette says they’re the three best talents in the sport. Well two out of three isn’t bad I guess. Gangrel’s voice SUCKS. They’re breaking their silence that Taker insisted they have apparently. I see why he didn’t get to talk that much.

He cuts a badly rambling promo which makes no sense as he talks about their search for something or other. Edge is just AWESOME looking here as his eyes are just insane looking. His voice is also much better and he doesn’t ramble. Hayes thinks it’s all a gimmick and they call him Michael. Was there a point to him being there at all? He gets a blood bath and I flat out do not care. I never liked Hayes so there we are.

Gunn is looking for X-Pac.

Kevin Kelly is with Shamrock who says he’s going to destroy Bradshaw in a street fight.

Bradshaw vs. Ken Shamrock

They start very fast and we hear the name UFC which is just weird to hear on Raw. Bradshaw is put in a knee bar like 30 seconds in but he gets out. Shamrock swings a ball bat at Bradshaw and pay no attention to it bending when it hits a table or Bradshaw getting up mere seconds after taking a shot to the head with it from a grown man that is rather strong.

Shamrock chokes him with the bat even though it’s parallel to his head and not over his throat but it works. Talk about a mess. Referees come out for the save and it doesn’t work as he beats everyone up including Sarge.

Rating: N/A. This was a total mess that went nowhere at all. Shamrock destroyed him and made him look weak, although not as weak as the bat. To be fair though, he was supposed to crush Bradshaw who was just a tag guy at this point. This wasn’t much at all and went by way too fast to tell what was going on. Again, it’s the Russo era shining through.

Foley is in the Boiler Room and says he wants to call off the match but can’t do it. He explains his character and it makes things even more confusing. Dang I love Foley.

Gunn is still looking for Pac.

Shane gives the Corporate Ministry a quick pep talk.

Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Vince and Stephanie have allegedly left. Foley gets a great pop as Cornette says how great he is. Truer words have never been spoken. He’s my favorite wrestler of all time so expect a lot of bias for this. Cornette: “He’s going for Mr. Socko and folks if you don’t know the story behind Mr. Socko, we don’t have time to tell you.”

Yeah Jim could be a bit weird at times. Boss Man tries to run but Test throws him back in. The Union continues to have the seeds planted. Here’s Big Show to throw Boss Man back in as well. When I say that I mean he picks him up and throws him over the top rope. Mandible Claw ends it immediately after that.

Rating: N/A. This was all angle here and that’s all it needed to be. The Union was on the way which was a needed thing to help fight against the massive Corporate Ministry. It only lasted a month though which was odd.

Billy jumps X-Pac and Kane makes the save. Seriously, why did anyone care about Gunn?

Rock and Austin head to the ring separately.

The Rock/Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker/HHH

The Mean Street Posse and Chyna are here with HHH as Cole tries to tell us this is going to be the best tag match of all time. That’s just amusing. If this has a clean finish I’ll be stunned. Taker has Paul Bearer and Shane with him. Rock looks strange here. His look changed a lot over the course of like a year or two. Taker’s hair looks freaky here. Rock is surrounded since Austin of course comes out late.

It’s Rock vs. Taker in the ring and Austin vs. HHH on the ramp. HHH is in long tights here which is still weird to see. They switch off and I’m not expecting many tags here. Taker and Austin start officially and it’s all Austin. HHH comes in for a save and just stays in. Ok then. Rock and Austin make their first tag after Austin has been in there for three minutes and Cornette says they’re working very well together. That’s just amusing.

Rock and Taker hit a double clothesline and we’re back to even. It amazes me sometimes how a single clothesline or whatever can be equivalent to so many big moves that a guy has taken. And there’s the brawl and here are the others for the run in and double DQ. Test, Show and Shamrock run out. No Foley for some reason. It’s a near riot with Austin and Taker being the only two left.

Austin takes a chokeslam and OF COURSE Vince is here. He takes a chair shot to save Austin which fits in pretty well actually. Cornette of course is losing his mind as usual. Austin pops up and hits a Stunner on Taker as Shane beats up Vince. Shane gets a Stunner too and beer is consumed to end the show. Austin pours beer on Vince to wake him up.

Rating: C-. Like I said, were you expecting anything else? This was fine as far as going through with the angle but not much else. For a five minute match though, this was fine. It’s your traditional Attitude Era main event tag match so it’s par for the course. Not terrible, but it works fine for what it was.

Overall Rating: C+. Keeping in mind that this was a one off special and not a regular show, this came off pretty well. It’s more or less a commercial for the main event but that’s what it was supposed to be. This came off fine though and it set the stage for four months later when this became a regular deal.

Decent enough show though and it’s mostly harmless. One big angle is enough to give it a pass though. Not really recommended, but if you watch it you won’t be wasting your time if that makes sense.

 

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On This Day: April 28, 1990 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #26: Hogan Jerks The Curtain

Saturday Night’s Main Event 26
Date: April 28, 1990
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is the first show after Mania 6, so Warrior is your new world champion. Jesse Ventura is in one of his final shows tonight I think. Actually he would be around until August. For those of you that don’t know, he left because he made a deal with Sega to let them use his face in a video game, but the WWF had a deal with Nintendo, so Vince had to let him go.

This would be considered a landmark show I would think, as we are in a new era of the company here. However, there’s one major reason as to why this era didn’t last long: Hulk Hogan. After he lost to the Warrior, Hogan didn’t step aside. He stuck around instead of going to make a movie or something like that. By sticking around, he made it impossible for Warrior to be taken seriously as the top guy because Hogan was just a bigger star.

Think of it like 2000 when Austin took time off for neck surgery. Rock got huge, but he wouldn’t have been able to with Austin still around. Other than that, nothing really has changed. Everything is the status quo, which means it should be good on wrestling and bad on angles. Let’s get to it.

Warrior says he will walk where no man has ever been. This was surprisingly coherent.

Haku, his challenger tonight, has Heenan say that he’s ready.

Mr. Perfect says Hogan isn’t perfect and tonight he’s going to prove it.

Hogan, or more commonly known as he who will not leave, says tonight he’s the professor and tonight Perfect and Genius are going to the principal’s office. Yes, that was the point of his promo.

The opening video is the traditional highlight package of guys fighting tonight, which if you caught onto the trick really was a great way of saying what you could expect tonight. We open with Vince and Jesse on horses. As they said on the Best of SNME DVD, Jesse looks perfectly fine up there while Vince looks scared to death. They run down the card from horseback, which is kind of cool actually.

Mooney is with Perfect and Genius. I think they just gave up on trying to convince anyone that Genius was straight and just let him act gay. Apparently ping pong, chess and horseshoes are sports. Perfect says Hogan is different since Mania, and he’s going to prove it.

Mr. Perfect vs. Hulk Hogan

Dang, he main events Wrestlemania and less than four weeks later he’s opening a TV taping. I miss the awesome logos everyone used to have. They were so simple yet so cool at the same time. That gum slap never gets old. Hogan says that they’re perfect fools and that Hulkamania will never die. It’ll never retire either. Gene is wearing one of those southern ties where it goes into two parts if that makes sense. I hate those things.

Jesse points out something very funny by saying Hogan must be hard of hearing since it takes him four tries to hear the roar of the crowd. That’s very true. This was allegedly supposed to be the main event of Mania 6 after Perfect won the 1990 Rumble, but that show’s main event was changed so many times I’ve heard of at least 4 different possible main events that Vince was contemplating even up to the new year.

Compared to the previous year and Mania 5 where the main event was set in stone about 18 months in advance, that’s saying a lot. In a stunning turn of events, Perfect is in trouble at first but then takes over and the fans are SCARED! It’s weird hearing Vince and Jesse like this after hearing them on Raw three days ago. They’re almost perfect here and it’s sad that they didn’t use this formula on Monday night.

I love how Vince defended Hogan forever back then but today more or less hates his guts. We’re on the floor at this point with Hogan beating up Genius. This allows Perfect to get the scroll and blast him in the head with it.

We take a break with Hogan in trouble and apparently this show is called the Tussle in Texas. I can’t stand gimmick names like that. They just sound stupid. Perfect is on control and you can hear the hearts of fans breaking everywhere.

This match feels really accelerated as Perfect controls for about two minutes before he Hulks Up and everything you expect to happen ends it. He beats up Genius afterwards to restore the glory of Hulkamania despite it never being gone in the first place. In a very interesting line, Vince calls Hogan the Brahma Bull which is so strange to hear. Vince mentions to Jesse we have a Barbecue, and Jesse is none too pleased.

Rating: B-. This was Hogan 101 and it worked fine. It’s just weird as heck seeing Hogan opening a show. This was fine as it was just a little TV match, but it was a perfect example of how to make Hogan look great and get a solid pop from the crowd. He was in trouble but he came back and defeated Perfect with relative ease.

However, that’s the problem: he defeated Perfect with relative ease. Perfect was supposed to be a big deal but he looked like a jobber here. He would win the IC Title in a mostly fake tournament soon enough though, so that means enough I guess.

After a commercial we come back for…another commercial. This one is for Arrogance though, that new cologne for wrestlers who don’t want to smell like a taco salesman from Tijuana. That sounded a lot better in my head.

Jesse is with Earthquake and Jimmy Hart. Quake was a total monster at this point and would be made the top heel over the summer. He’s got Hillbilly Jim tonight, which I’m sure will be a classic encounter. They reference Deliverance, and say they’ll make Jim squeal like a pig. For those of you that don’t know, in the film Deliverance, that’s what a crazed hillbilly says to one of the main characters before raping him.

Hillbilly Jim says Quake reminds him of a hog that won the Mudlick county fair last year. For anyone from Kentucky, this is one of the funniest promos you will ever hear because everyone knows someone just like Hillbilly and it’s dead on. For anyone not from here, it’s mindless babbling that you won’t understand more than two words of. I loved it of course.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

We get a quick promo about Rick Martel being in a match at the Maple Leaf Gardens. That’s odd indeed. He talks about Garvin, but I’m confused about having a promo for a match in Toronto which would be a house show. The Bushwackers have comments about the show also, which is about Rhythm and Blues.

Jesse is with the Harts and says they were smart to challenge for the titles before the title match at Mania happened. Anvil literally says 5 words and that’s the promo. That was a bit of a waste if nothing else.

Hart Foundation vs. The Rockers

The Rockers say they’re ready and be prepared for a broken heart. We get a Dallas reference, as in of the TV show from the late 80s to really date the show. The horses are still at the broadcast booth. Let’s get this going. Given the guys in here, this is your standard great early 90s tag match. Seeing Bret vs. Shawn never gets old. You could tell that these two were going to be something awesome.

After about three or four minutes of solid back and forth stuff, the real interesting part happens as Demolition comes out. Somehow after being huge faces at Mania they’re tweeners here just four weeks and no television appearances later.

Even Jesse isn’t sure why they’re here. They don’t actually do anything but they distract everyone in there. Since it’s a Rockers match, Shawn gets beaten on for a long while before Marty gets the tag. Both teams are faces here so the crowd is a bit divided.

The Rockers were a great team but they never got that big push for some reason. As influential in the WWF as they were, they were nothing more than jobbers when you think about it. I’ve always loved that slingshot splash the Harts did with Anvil. Actually it was typically a shoulder block and not a splash but whatever. Anvil comes in and cleans house as Demolition is still on the floor.

Shawn gets thrown to the floor where Demolition tries to put him back in. Marty runs over and gets into a fight with Smash, leading to the inevitable 6 man brawl for the double DQ. That’s a shame and everyone, including the announcers and audience hate this.

Rating: B. It’s a shame they went with the angle here because this really was a good match. I get that they were going for the Demolition heel turn and they didn’t want to have either team lose, but still it’s a disappointment to say the least. These teams had undeniable chemistry and it’s another shame that they never had the big PPV match to show off how great they could be. This was good though.

Earthquake says he loves the environment and proves it by getting rid of waste like Hillbilly Jim. He calls out Hogan, setting up the summer feud, which didn’t happen over the summer for the most part as Hogan took months off due to an “injury.” He really made a movie.

Hogan says he’s not afraid of Earthquake and that Hulkamania is more powerful.

We come back from a break to see clips from Mania of Warrior taking the title.

Haku and Heenan make fun of being in Texas and that for once there’s going to be something good to remember in Texas: Haku winning the title. HAKU SPEAKS ENGLISH??? Heenan manages to coherently convince us that Rosemary Clooney, George’s mother, was at the Alamo.

Gene is with Warrior who says something about an hourglass and being the chosen one. Seriously, what in the world went on in his head? This goes on for about three minutes and I have zero clue what he said. You know that Gene just wanted to shout WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

WWF Title: Haku vs. Ultimate Warrior

The pop for Warrior is there as the challenger has no entrance and is just shown warming up in the ring. Yeah this is going to be an even match if there ever was one. Vince had Perfect and DiBiase and Rude and Savage and even Rhodes on the roster and he picked this guy to replace Hogan. Unbelievable. Surprisingly, we start fast.

Who would have guessed that in a Warrior match? Continuing the surprises, Warrior is odd, sloppy and a bit dangerous. They keep referencing the Mania 5 match where Rude managed to beat Warrior, which was apparently his only loss to date. That’s surprising indeed, which isn’t a joke this time.

We hit the slowdown mode as Haku goes through his incredibly generic power midcard guy offense. Jesse claims a slow count to get some very cheap yet basic heel heat going for him. That’s something he and Lawler were great at.

They could say something so simple like that and go off about it for a few minutes and it worked like a charm every single time. Using the exact same formula in the Hogan match, Warrior makes his comeback and takes over on Haku to hit his signature set of moves to end this. For some reason this isn’t the main event but whatever.

Rating: C. This was the epitome of average, but it did the job it was supposed to, which was getting Warrior a little credibility as champion. There’s nothing wrong with having him beat a midcard guy in an otherwise worthless title match and that’s exactly what he did here. This went fine and Warrior looked good, despite it being about five minutes long. That was his status quo and it worked out for him here so that balances out the boring match.

We get a Bad News Brown promo about that Toronto show. Seriously, what the heck is up with these things? He talks about Roberts which was his feud at the time so that works fine. Apparently Jake doesn’t fear himself?

We get another Arrogance commercial, this time the tennis one which is a bit better known.

We see a clip from Mania where Boss Man got jumped by DiBiase before his match with Akeem. Ted beat him down which led nowhere for no apparent reason. Since Boss Man didn’t get a fair shot, we have Boss Man vs. Akeem in a rematch here. There’s just one flaw with that plan: BOSS MAN WON CLEAN. Why have a rematch if an already attacked Boss Man beat Akeem? Is a full strength one supposed to not be as good?

Slick and Akeem say that DiBiase has offered them a lot of money to beat Boss Man. That’s odd as well because unless it was on house shows and lasted all of a month, they never feuded over it. That’s the early 90s for you. Jesse throws it to Gene, who he says is the illegitimate father of all four mutant ninja turtles. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM??? I don’t know but I want to go there because it’s the land of awesome. Boss Man says he’s going to destroy Akeem in a Texas sized beating.

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

If nothing else, they have sweet music. Vince and Jesse argue over whether or not Gene looks like the turtles. Jesse says if you put a mask and a shell on him he would. Seriously, what in the world brought this completely random and absurd debate on?

I remember DiBiase not taking a bribe from Boss Man which was why DiBiase beat on Boss Man at Mania, but other than that, there was nothing that happened between them. Jesse insults the Texas Democratic Primary and says it was dirty. Yeah it was so dirty that no democrat has won in probably a few centuries or so. Boss Man throws him around but gets caught with some bad punches.

He uses the same movements as Hogan when he Hulks Up but with amazing eyes while he does it. Those things are around the level that Edge would have. Boss Man manages to backdrop Akeem over the top rope. He had some freaking scary power.

The Boss Man Slam, which in this case was more like a clothesline and a leg sweep puts Akeem down but here’s DiBiase and Virgil for the beatdown. Seriously, I don’t remember these two feuding in an actual match ever. They cuff Boss Man to the rope and the booing is insane. Virgil gets the nightstick but Boss Man is the only smart wrestler of all time as he has the key to his own cuffs. He gets loose before he gets sticked and takes out the heels as we go to a commercial.

Rating: N/A. While Boss Man had some good power stuff in there, there simply wasn’t enough to go on here to grade it properly. The DiBiase run in is odd as it led nowhere unless I’m completely blanking on something. Either way, the angle at the end was far more important than the match, and since the angle was good this would have been a decent grade.

After the last commercial, we come back for our fourth Martel bit of the night as once again he’s talking about Arrogance. This is either a bad theme for the night or dumb booking and I’m leaning towards both.

Heenan says that Rude is coming for Warrior and the title.

Warrior says something about a disease being out of control.

Vince and Jesse talk about Rude being able to beat Warrior and Hogan running wild and eventually facing Earthquake before plugging the next SNME in three months to take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. They packed a lot into two hours here. They got over the main angles which is all you can ask for I suppose. The matches were at least ok and the whole show came off as good television. It wasn’t great, but it certainly wasn’t bad at all. Hogan and Warrior continue their domination, Demolition more or less turned heel or at least took a big step towards it, and everyone came off looking good. This was a solid follup to Mania and it set up the summer feuds. Overall, this is a good show and worth watching if you’ve got some time on your hads.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Cena Injured At House Show

Word on the street is that Cena injured his Achilles during a match with Ryback.  No word yet on his out time or anything else.  This might be nothing but Achilles injuries can be devastating.




Monday Nitro – December 15, 1997: This 3 Hour Thing Isn’t Going To Go Well

Monday Nitro #118
Date: December 15, 1997
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,320
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re really getting close to Starrcade now with just two more Nitros to go before the biggest show in the company’s history. The majority of the big matches are set for the show now so we’re just finalizing things now before the pay per view. I’m not sure if we’re going to hear the rest of the card before then but it could go either way. Let’s get to it.

Apparently Bret Hart is here tonight. Cool. It’s also a three hour show. Not cool.

Here’s the NWO and they immediately look under the ring for Sting. Vincent looks into the rafters with binoculars in a bit that shouldn’t be as funny as it is. With the inspection out of the way, Bischoff introduces Chono who presumably talks trash in Japanese. Hennig says this is NWO country and he’s the best thing the NWO has ever produced. Hogan calls Sting a coward and says Sting will never come face him one on one. They were a bit more concise tonight.

Vincent vs. Ray Traylor

As soon as the bell rings Vincent walks into a spinebuster followed by a splash in the corner. The Flock arrives. A belly to back suplex puts Vincent down and the Boss Man Slam (now called Traylor Trash) ends this in a hurry.

Traylor wants to know where the NWO is. Based on what happened on Saturday Night, apparently they’re in a six man tag against him and the Steiners. Makes enough sense.

We see Flair’s comments from last week about how he’s the real best there is, was and ever will be.

Video on Nash vs. Giant for Starrcade.

The Nitro Girls dance at the announce table.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Yuji Nagata

Disco is defending. Nagata starts firing off some kicks as Larry goes onto a BIG rant about how this town was built on the backs of various legends like Flair, Rhodes, Magnum and himself. The idea of grouping Larry with those men is hilarious. Anyway Disco pounds away but Sonny Onoo’s distraction lets Nagata suplex him down for two. A rolling Liger Kick puts Disco down and some shots to the throat have Disco in a lot of trouble.

Nagata gets two off a forearm to the face but walks into an atomic drop. A knee lift gets two for Disco as does a gordbuster. Sonny tries to interfere but gets caught in a Chartbuster (Stunner), followed by a Stun Gun and Chartbuster to Nagata to complete the Steve Austin Special and retain Disco’s title.

Rating: C. Not bad here as Disco’s on and off push continues. For a guy who was nothing but a comedy character when he started out, he had some serious success over the years. The match was nothing to see here but Disco looked confident and like someone who belonged a bit higher up on the card.

Fit Finlay vs. Dean Malenko

Eddie is on commentary again here. Dean stares him down during the entrances as Tony thinks that’s a challenge. Malenko takes Finlay down by the arm but gets caught in a quick headlock. A slam gets two on Dean and it’s off to a nerve hold. Dean fights up as Eddie calls Dean a very boring person. That’s the understatement of the century. Dean snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

We hear about a tag match Eddie and Dean were in a few weeks back with Eddie ranting about how the people wanted to see the Frog Splash and not the Texas Cloverleaf. Finlay fights back with some forearms to the face but Dean whips him into the barricade. Back in and Dean can’t powerbomb him as Finlay kicks him in the forehead. Eddie: “Dean looked like his wife told him they were going to have twins.”

Finlay hits the rolling fireman’s carry senton for two but Dean comes back with a rolling cradle for two. Eddie leaves the broadcast booth, thereby taking away the most entertaining part of the match. Guerrero heads to ringside and distracts Dean out of the tiger bomb. Finlay tombstones Dean down for the pin.

Rating: C. Decent match here with hilarious commentary from Eddie. As far as I can tell the Cruiserweight Title match isn’t set yet for the PPV but you can tell it’s coming. Either way it’s a very entertaining feud and the match is bound to be a fun one. Finlay continues to be that kind of veteran you can put in this spot and get a decent match out of him, which is very valuable.

Video on the NWO beating up Roddy Piper, who hasn’t been around in months.

La Parka/Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

La Parka is in yellow for some reason here. Juvy and Psychosis start things off with Guerrera hitting a top rope rana to take over early. A standing version does the same but La Parka kicks him in the back of the head to slow Juvy down. Apparently this is under Lucha Rules, meaning going to the floor is the same as a tag. Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop followed by a belly to belly for two on Guerrera. La Parka powerbombs him down for two more as we’re actually getting the tag formula out of this.

Psychosis goes up but accidentally dropkicks La Parka. That’s not enough for a tag again though as Psychosis pops up and decks Rey to keep Juvy in trouble. La Parka misses a splash in the corner and it’s finally hot tag to Rey, although the announcers would rather talk about Bischoff. Rey ducks under both guys, allowing Juvy to hit a springboard cross body. Everything breaks down and the heels are both kicked to the floor, allowing Rey and Juvy to hit stereo flip dives to take them out.

Back in and Juvy hits what the Hardys would call Poetry in Motion for two on Psychosis. La Parka is sent into Psychosis before Rey is launched into a rana for two on the guy in yellow. Juvy and Psychosis go on top with Psychosis trying a slam off the top, only to be turned into a kind of small package off the top for two for Juvy. Guerrera gets crotched while loading up a Doomsday Device but Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana to the floor to take out La Parka. The 450 from Juvy is enough to end Psychosis.

Rating: B. Take four guys, let them go nuts for seven minutes, listen to the crowd cheer a lot. It worked for the six man matches and it worked here in the four man version. Mysterio and Guerrera worked pretty well together although I don’t remember them teaming up all that much over the years until a bit at the end of WCW.

Here’s Doug Dillinger who apparently used to be a Charlotte cop. They bring out Arn Anderson to a BIG ovation. Anderson calls this place his home and says that the fans deserve to see Ric Flair, so here’s Naitch. Flair says that Anderson is about to make him cry but there are more important things to deal with at the moment. Apparently there was a fund set up today for fallen Charlotte cops and WCW has donated $15,000 to it to start. That’s rather cool. Flair presents them with a check, but now it’s time to talk about Hennig. There goes Flair’s coat and he wants Hennig tonight, because the NWO can’t beat him in Charlotte.

JJ comes out to talk about the stipulations Bischoff wants. Eric shows up and says he wants punches and kicks to be legal. JJ says that’s fine as long as submissions count. I know WCW had some weird rules at times but I’m pretty sure submissions have always counted.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Hall for a match but first of all we need the survey. For once, the fans are solidly WCW.

Scott Hall vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs a pair of quick rollups for two each and the Lionsault hits for two more. Jericho dives into the fallaway slam though and Hall takes over. Hall counters a hiptoss and hits a BIG chokeslam for no cover. After doing the Giant imitation it’s the Outsider’s Edge and we’re done quick.

Heenan comes in on commentary.

Meng vs. Steve McMichael

There’s no Mongo so we cut to the back and McMichael is out cold with Goldberg standing over him. JJ comes up to yell at him and Goldberg volunteers to go fight Meng. As he comes to the ring though, Mongo pops up and a brawl breaks out.

Tag Titles: Scott Norton/Konnan vs. Steiner Brothers

Blast it with the two Scotts. For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner is Scott and Scott Norton is Norton. The Steiners clear the ring early on so let’s talk about Bret Hart. Konnan starts with Scott and is gorilla pressed with ease. A belly to belly sends Konnan into the corner and it’s off to Rick vs. Norton. Norton charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a big clothesline to take Rick down.

Rick nails a Steiner line of his own and goes up top for a top rope clothesline for two. He goes up again but pulls a Flair and is slammed down by Norton. After some interference from Konnan, Norton’s shoulder breaker is good for two. Off to Konnan who walks into a belly to back suplex as everything breaks down. Scott comes back in to load up the Frankensteiner but Vincent runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Another not great match with another run in ending. For some reason this doesn’t surprise me in the least anymore and it’s already getting tiresome. Do we really need to protect Norton and Konnan from the tag team champions/ Oh wait Vincent already lost tonight so we can’t have another NWO pinfall loss, because then people would stop viewing them as a threat. Or something like that I guess.

Booker T vs. Randy Savage

Stevie was either about to be injured or already was injured so Booker’s singles push is on the verge of happening soon. Booker is in regular tights now and not the traditional Harlem Heat attire. He takes Savage down in a hurry and cranks on the arm but Savage comes back with right hands in the corner. Booker knocks him to the floor and then into the front row, only to throw him back into the ring a few seconds later.

Back in and Booker spends too much time posing but manages to slam Savage down. An elbow misses but Booker spins up and hits the Harlem side kick. Savage rolls to the floor as this is one sided so far. Booker misses a splash onto the barricade and momentum shifts in a hurry. After dropping Booker chest first onto the barricade, Savage throws him back inside for two.

A fan tries to get in but Savage drills him in the head. Booker spins kicks him down and Savage accidentally bumps the referee. The ax kick hits Savage but Liz breaks up the missile dropkick, allowing Savage to knock Booker to the floor. A chair shot to Booker’s head allows the big elbow to end Mr. T.

Rating: C+. This was a good solid rub for the single Booker as he beat up Savage for a good four minutes out there. Savage winning was fine though as Booker was nowhere near ready to be a real threat to him yet. Liz getting involved was always strange to see given how meek she was back in the WWF. This is on Best of Nitro Volume 2 I believe.

Chris Benoit vs. Riggs

Again this was supposed to be Raven but it’s another substitution. Benoit goes to look for Raven but gets jumped by Riggs instead. Back inside and Benoit gets up an elbow before firing off those hard chops. Benoit’s eyes look awesome here. Chris drapes him stomach first across the top rope before headbutting him down on the mat. As in Riggs is on the mat and Benoit leans down to headbutt him.

A chop sends Riggs to the floor again but he gets in a shot on Benoit to take over. The fans are firmly behind Benoit as he gets his knees up to block a Riggs splash back inside. A front suplex puts Riggs down and there’s the Swan Dive into the Crossface for the submission. He snapped that hold on very fast and it looked sweet.

Rating: C+. This story is growing on me and the match that would result would be amazing. This feud should have elevated Benoit WAY up the ladder but of course he would be back down in the middle of the card after it was done because of various factors we’ll get to later. Good performance from Benoit here.

Post match Benoit yells at the Flock before diving on them, only to get beaten down and put in the Rings of Saturn.

Here’s JJ again to talk to Bischoff, this time about who is referee. They go back and forth between WCW referees and NWO guys with Dillon eventually agreeing to it being an NWO guy as long as he gets to pick which one. Cue Bret Hart who says he’d be honored to be referee, so Bischoff says $7.5 million. Hart says he knows what it’s like to be screwed by a referee before turning around to show a Hart Foundation jacket and leaving. To clarify, about a month after the Montreal Screwjob, the hottest name in wrestling is going to be a referee in a match between Eric Bischoff and Larry Zbyszko. Let that sink in for a minute.

Post break Gene calls out Lex Luger but gets Bagwell instead. Bagwell says Luger can’t beat him so here’s Luger, saying that he was in the production truck asking for a match with Bagwell. Buff gives about five excuses but after a slap we’re ready to go.

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Luger runs Buff over to start and backdrops him down. A few clotheslines put Bagwell down again before Lex stomps away. Back up and Lex misses a charge into the corner so Bagwell can stomp away a bit as well. Luger easily fights back and hits his usual clotheslines and powerslam, but here are Norton and Vincent…..not for the DQ. Luger fights them off and clotheslines Bagwell to the floor and that’s the DQ. Oh they’re trying to trick us with the DQ’s now. Match was nothing.

Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

Before Flair comes out Hennig challenges anyone in the audience to come fight him. He goes on and on for a bit about how he’s the US Champion and all that jazz while insulting Flair. After a break here’s Ric for the fight….and here’s Hall for the DQ maybe ten seconds later. So much for that idea.

Flair manages to fight off the NWO for a bit but Hennig takes him down and puts him in the Figure Four. DDP, Luger and the Steiners come out and the NWO eventually runs off. Page challenges Hennig as Flair limps around. That leg injury was the reason he wasn’t on Starrcade, which is a questionable decision to say the least if it’s not a legit injury.

The Steiners and Luger take Flair to the back as more fans try to run in but are quickly dispatched. The rest of the NWO comes out so Page bails through the crowd. Hogan and company get in the ring and call out the Stinger. The lights flicker and Sting shows up on the WCW sign at the entrance. He hops down and walks to the ring as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show overall but I’m really dreading the move to three hours. They’re already having trouble filling in three hours and that’s what we’re going to get all the time, PLUS two hours of Thunder every week? It’s almost like that’s way too much material for one company to produce. Good thing this happened before and no other company on top of the business would try something that stupid again right? Good show this week but it felt long.

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