I’ll be on the Mouth of the South Shore radio show again tonight for about an hour starting at 10:30 PM EST, talking about the new book and making Wrestlemania predictions. Check it out here and call in if you want to ask me something:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fanvsfannetwork/2013/04/04/mouth-of-the-south-shore-radio-show
Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
After last year’s great show, we get….this. Wrestlemania 25 is often listed alongside the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. I watched it live and thought it sucked other than the candidate for best match ever in the middle of it. This is one of the ones that I wasn’t looking forward to but I have to be tortured for this job. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of people being asked what the biggest moment in Wrestlemania history is over the first 25 years (let me get this out of the way: IT WAS TWENTY FOUR AT THAT TIME. This drove me CRAZY at the time because the show was built up as the 25th anniversary of the show, but that isn’t how things work. Think about it: when you get married, the day a year later is your first anniversary, meaning that Wrestlemania 2 would be the first anniversary, Wrestlemania 3 is your second anniversary and so on to Wrestlemania 25 being the TWENTY FOURTH ANNIVERARY, NOT THE TWENTY FIFTH!).
Anyway the answers are exactly what you would expect: ladder match, Hogan slamming Andre, Hogan vs. Warrior etc. This leads to a video of people saying they’re making the top moment tonight.
Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.
MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane
MITB here. Henry has Tony Atlas with him, MVP is the face US Champion and Kofi is still Jamaican. BIG pop for Christian here. It’s a big brawl to start as the fans are solidly behind Christian here. Christian and Shelton run over Henry with the big ladder but Kofi jumps over it and takes both guys down. There’s a Boom Drop onto the ladder onto both guys. The ladder is set up in the ring but here’s Kane to beat everyone up.
Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.
Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.
Horny slides in his own ladder to climb onto Henry’s back and dive onto all six guys on the floor. Finlay is the only guy standing and throws in a big ladder, but he had to fight Kofi. Kofi dives THROUGH the ladder and drops it onto Finlay for good measure. Finlay drops him with the Horny ladder and does the same to Christian and Kane. The Irishman tries to go up but Kofi kicks him down.
Kingston tries for a climb but Henry is back again and shoves down the ladder. In an AWESOME spot, Henry holds the ladder to set it in place and Kofi runs up, only to be dropped down and hit with a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP slides a ladder into the standing one to make a kind of platform. Shelton slides under the ladder and kicks MVP in the ribs. MVP comes back with a kind of powerbomb on Benjamin but Punk stops the climb.
Now it’s Christian and Punk with Punk on the ladder and Christian on the platform. Now they’re both on the same side of the ladder and Christian hits the Killswitch off the ladder. By hits I mean Christian drops him in midair and Punk’s head never came within three feet of the mat but you do what you can I guess. MVP climbs up but Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor to get to the platform to get to the ladder for a sunset bomb to MVP. By sunset bomb, I mean he doesn’t get MVP over and basically pulls MVP’s face down the ladder. That’s two big blown spots in a row.
MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.
Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.
Rating: B-. The blown spots REALLY bring this down because they were some terribly blown spots. Punk winning is fine as it was eventually the catalyst for his heel turn but that wouldn’t be for about six months. The match was good and having some fresh blood with Kofi out there helped, but the match overall was a letdown compared to other years, as the problem becomes “how do you top the other stuff?”. Still good though.
Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.
Now we get to the part of this show which makes fans’ heads hurt: a TWELVE MINUTE Kid Rock song medley. Keep in mind that a unification match for the two sets of tag titles was on the preshow and ran about 9 minutes. THAT can’t make Wrestlemania but this nonsense can. This is to set up the Miss Wrestlemania battle royal.
Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal
Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson
The medley contains the entrances for all 25 girls, none of whom get entrances or even introductions, so the fans have no idea who all is in this thing for the most part. Justin Roberts is reading the rules and people are already being eliminated. Not that we’re told WHO THEY ARE or anything but whatever. Oh and you can go through the ropes too. Cole: “You can get a look at all the entrants in this on WWE.com!” Yeah, that’s the only way to see them because KID ROCK had to eat up all their time.
Sunny, Torrie, Layla and Rosa are out for sure but the rest of them aren’t even mentioned. Gail and Jillian eliminate each other as Beth eliminates Tiffany and some other chick not mentioned. Molly and Kelly are put out as is Maryse. Beth dumps both Bellas and the only Divas left are Michelle, Mickie, Melina and Beth. Mickie and Michelle eliminate each other but Santina eliminates the other two. It’s Santino in drag if that wasn’t clear. Yeah, THIS is your payoff for bringing back all those famous chicks. This led to months of STUPID jokes and skits about them being brother and sister or something. No rating but this was awful.
Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.
We recap Jericho vs. Piper/Snuka/Steamboat which is built around the Mickey Rourke movie The Wrestler. The idea is that Jericho insulted Rourke and the movie because it’s not the same as getting in the ring. Rourke said he’d fight at Mania then backpedaled. We then had Jericho insult Snuka, Piper and Steamboat for sticking around too long. Flair was insulted as well but since Flair can’t wrestle anymore, Jericho beat up and challenged the other legends to a match here tonight.
Rourke is at ringside.
Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat
Flair is here to support his fellow old people. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s somewhere between smashed and alcohol poisoning. Jericho has to beat all three legends to win so he starts with Piper. Roddy looks bad but considering less than two years earlier he was diagnosed with lymphoma, this is pretty impressive.
Piper fires away to start and takes it to the mat before hooking a quick sunset flip for two. A kind of dropkick puts Chris down and Roddy pounds away in the corner. Jimmy comes in and the match turns into slow motion. To be fair he’s about 65 here. Ricky comes in and starts cranking on the arm as you would expect him to. Back to Jimmy for a double chop although only Ricky’s actually hits. Out of nowhere Jericho puts on the Walls for the elimination.
Piper comes back in and works over the ribs before throwing on the sleeper. It only lasts for a few seconds though before Jericho rams him into the top rope and gets the elimination via a running enziguri. This leaves Steamboat vs. Jericho with the Dragon coming in with the top rope cross body for a VERY close near fall. A snapmare puts Ricky down and jericho kicks him in the back before putting on a chinlock. In the STUPID part of the show, Jericho throws Steamboat over the ropes for him to skin the cat, but LET’S LOOK AT FLAIR INSTEAD!
Jericho gets backdropped over the top to the floor and IT’S A FLYING OLD MAN to take Jericho down again. Back in and a top rope chop has Jericho reeling. Steamboat jumps over Chris out of the corner and gets a rollup for two. Jericho finally hits the bulldog but the Lionsault misses. Ricky grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two but gets caught in the Walls. Steamboat reverses THAT into a small package for the hottest two count you’ll see in years. If that’s not enough, Steamboat backflips out of a belly to back suplex, only to walk into the Codebreaker to let Jericho survive.
Rating: B-. WOW Steamboat had me going here and I knew what the ending was. Steamboat was 56 years old here and hadn’t wrestled regularly in FIFTEEN YEARS and just had the crowd actually believing he could beat Jericho five months after he lost the world title. That’s ASTONISHING and would lead to a one on one match between these two at Backlash. Snuka and Piper were there for one last hurrah but Steamboat was trying to steal the show and came pretty freaking close. This is a great example of a match with NO reason to be good which wound up being pretty sweet.
Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.
We recap Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. The idea is that stuff had started happening to Jeff such as pyro nearly blinding him, someone trying to run him off the road, and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN. At Royal Rumble, Matt revealed that it was him behind it because he was jealous of Jeff’s success. Naturally, no charges were ever filed or anything like that, because why do that when you can have an extreme rules match here instead?
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Matt now has regular tights instead of the cargo jeans. Jeff takes him down and pounds away to start before heading to the floor. A hard poster to the head doesn’t do much to Matt, presumably BECAUSE IT WAS A POSTER. The steps work a bit better and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade to crush Matt. Back in and Poetry in Motion hits the corner instead of Matt and the Whisper in the Wind only hits chair.
Matt chokes away on the ropes and punches away at Jeff’s head. The Side Effect onto a chair gets two so Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but Jeff fights off a suplex through said table and hits a running clothesline off the apron. Jeff busts out a kendo stick and a crutch to beat on Matt’s back before putting a trashcan over Matt’s head for the slingshot dropkick for two.
There goes Jeff’s shirt but the Swanton completely misses. The Twist of Fate gets two for Matt and he’s getting frustrated. Matt calls for a Swanton but gets caught in a superplex instead for no cover. There’s a BIG chair shot to Matt’s head which sends him to the floor. Jeff lays Matt on the table before putting another table on top of that table. There’s a HUGE splash through both tables along with Matt to leave everyone laying.
Back in and that only gets two, and now it’s time for the ladders required by a Hardys match. A legdrop keeps Matt down and the ladder is set up. Make that two ladders with one being bigger than the other. Jeff climbs the small ladder and jumps over the tall ladder, only to miss his big legdrop. Matt puts Jeff’s neck in the chair for a Twist of Fate to finally end this.
Rating: B. This was a solid brawl but it would all go downhill from here. Their feud didn’t ever quite work for the most part because the audience wasn’t all that interested and Matt didn’t work as a top heel. As for this match though, they beat the tar out of each other and Matt looked violent and evil. Unfortunately he couldn’t back that up for the most part.
Orton is ready for the main event.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Rey is challenging. JBL goes on a rant about how much Texas sucks and how they’ve lost their backbone. After this match is over, JBL is bailing on Texas and heading back to New York where he loves to be. Rey is the Joker from Dark Knight this year. They actually do big match intros here which isn’t something you see for a midcard title match. The referee reads them the rules and JBL kicks Rey in the head. Now the bell rings and Rey hits an enziguri, the 619 and a top rope splash for the pin and the title in about 20 seconds.
Post match JBL says he quits, which is his actual retirement as he’s never wrestled since.
We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.
Shawn might have hurt his knee but he’s channeling his inner Bret by goldbricking. Taker will have none of that and throws Shawn into the corner for more punishment. Michaels comes back with chops in the corner but gets backdropped down to stop the momentum. Taker drives some shoulder into Shawn but Shawn takes him down with a clothesline. The reverse Figure Four (called a regular one by that idiot Michael Cole) has Taker in trouble but he finally slugs his way out of it.
Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.
There’s the nipup but Shawn doesn’t tune up the band. Instead it’s a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline but as Shawn goes up, he jumps into the chokeslam. He escapes THAT and tries the superkick but is too far away, meaning the kick only hits Taker’s chest. It puts Taker down so Shawn tries the Figure Four but Taker counters into Hell’s Gate. Shawn flails around and gets a foot on the rope for a fast break but he’s clearly staggered.
We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.
Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.
Taker grabs him by the throat but the Last Ride is countered into a sunset flip bid, but THAT is countered into the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Watching this match for probably the fourth time I actually thought that was the finish. Think about that for a minute. Taker goes up top and misses a top rope elbow but as Shawn tries to skin the cat, Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone. He sticks the tongue out but THAT gets two, I believe making Shawn either the first or second guy ever to kick out of all three of Taker’s finishers.
Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.
They fight up from their knees and use each other to pull themselves up before slugging it out with everything they’ve got. A big boot puts Shawn down but Taker charges into a boot in the corner to put him down. Shawn climbs up top and tries a moonsault press, but Taker somehow catches him in mid air for another Tombstone to make him 16-0, and that’s your match of the year.
Rating: A+. Masterpiece, excellent, classic, best match they’ve ever had, best match of all time candidate etc. Pick one, as they’re all appropriate. This is one of the only matches ever where I’ve been on the edge of my seat the entire time and lost my mind on the kickouts. Absolutely outstanding here and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen, and that covers quite a bit of ground.
Now what gets to follow that?
We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. Cena for the Raw Title. Edge switched brands at No Way Out after losing the WWE Title and won the World Title in the other Chamber match, because the titles are interchangeable props which you can pass around like this for no apparent reason. Edge’s wife Vickie was blackmailed into putting Cena into a triple threat match because Cena had video of Show and Vickie having an affair. This is basically a glorified handicap match.
Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena
Edge is defending and Vickie is STILL in the wheelchair. Cena’s big entrance this year: an army of probably 60 guys dressed in Cena gear make a tunnel for the real Cena to run through, complete with the old Word Life theme song. Cena fights off both guys but the numbers catch up with him, allowing the heels to take him down. Edge is knocked to the floor and it’s back to Cena who gets beaten down by the monster.
Show goes outside to get Edge but the champion dropkicks the steps into Show’s knees, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser to drive Show’s face into the floor. Back in and Cena tries a quick AA, only to be countered into the Edgecution for two. Show comes back in with a side slam for two on John but Cena comes back with right hands. When those don’t do much he tries to hit the ropes but Vickie’s nephew Chavo pulls him to the floor. That earns him an AA and we head back inside where John knocks Show into the ropes to tie him up. Show: “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”
Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.
Cena escapes a double chokeslam but can’t get the AA. Instead Show hits him with the WMD but instead of, I don’t know, COVERING, he goes to the floor after Edge. Edge counters a chokeslam into a DDT on the floor and all three guys are down. The champion crawls over to the steps and sets them right next to Show. With a running start, Edge uses the steps as a springboard and dives at Show, sending both of them through the barricade and into the crowd.
Back in and Edge gets two on Cena but the spear is countered into the STF. John pulls it back to the center of the ring but Big Show breaks it up by grabbing Cena’s throat. A Vader Bomb elbow misses Edge and everyone is down again. In a rare sight, Edge and Cena team up to suplex Show down and then clothesline him to the floor.
The Throwback puts Edge down but as Cena goes up, Show shoves him off and into a spear from Edge for two. Everyone is inside again and Show charges into a boot from Edge. The champion tries a sleeper on Show, so in the HOW DID HE DO THAT spot of the year, Cena AA’s BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME. Edge slides off and Show takes the full brunt. Cena hits an AA on Edge onto Big Show and pins the giant for the title.
Rating: B-. Fine but it’s another meaningless title change in a year which would be full of such things. Edge would get the title back at Backlash to make sure that these title reigns are as forgettable as possible and give us Cena vs. Big Show for about the ninth time. The match was just ok for the most part until the eye popping finish.
Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.
Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.
This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.
One night on Raw, HHH was knocked into the ropes and tied up as Stephanie came down. Orton gave Stephanie the Elevated DDT before kissing her on the lips, further enraging HHH. At one point in the rivalry, HHH broke into Orton’s house and threw him through a window. Orton decided to fight HHH at Wrestlemania instead of pressing charges. The stage was perfectly set for the great beat down by HHH, allowing him to let out all of his aggression and rage on Orton.
While not the greatest story in the world, at least there was a solid idea and we should get a solid brawl out of things. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned beating of a hated rival is there? Well apparently WWE saw something wrong with it, because there was a stipulation added: if HHH gets countered out or more importantly disqualified, he loses the WWE Title. Upon hearing this, everyone collectively said HUH?
This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.
HHH(c) vs. Randy Orton
HHH has a cool entrance here as he swings his hammer at the camera, only to reveal that it’s a big mirror that he shatters. They stare at each other for a bit before HHH takes Orton down and pounds away. The champion stomps on Orton in the corner and is threatened with a DQ, showing us how stupid this gimmick is. With HHH yelling at the referee, Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere a minute and five seconds in. The Punt misses and there’s the Pedigree but HHH can’t follow up.
Orton is sent to the floor and rammed into the announce table before heading back in for more right hands. HHH catapults Orton throat first into the bottom rope before dropping some knees on the head. Randy heads back to the floor and counters a whip to send HHH into the steps. HHH gets whipped into the timekeeper’s table which apparently hurt his shoulder. Orton tries to get the countout to get the title but the Game is back in at nine.
Randy drops some knees and kicks to the ribs and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up after a few moments in the hold and HHH punches his way out of the corner. The jumping knee to Orton’s face puts him down and there’s the facebuster for good measure. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult though, sending HHH face first into the buckle. Not that it really matters though as a clothesline puts Orton down for two as the slow pace finally picks up a bit.
HHH gets shoved off the top but Orton dives off the top into a boot. A rollup gets two for the champion and they slug it out some more. The spinebuster puts Randy down but the Pedigree is countered into Orton’s backbreaker for two. HHH gets in another clothesline and goes up for some reason, only to jump into a dropkick. A kick to HHH’s ribs is caught and Orton is flipped over the top and out to the floor. They head over to the announce table and HHH picks up a monitor but drops it for fear of losing the title.
The champion tries a Pedigree on the announce table, only to be backdropped down onto the table which doesn’t break. With HHH still on the table, Orton hits the Elevated DDT to drive HHH head first into the floor. HHH still manages to get back in at 9 so Orton stomps away even more. Randy stomps away in the corner and chokes away as this is dragging again. HHH comes back but Orton throws HHH into the referee. There’s the RKO but the referee is down.
With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.
Rating: D. Erg that was awful. This was the same problem they had with the Cena vs. HHH match from a few years ago, where it felt like they were trying for something epic that told a story but it didn’t work at all. Instead it was these two punching and kicking a lot while having to stop because they might get disqualified. This didn’t work at all because the match didn’t fit the buildup, which was only decent in the first place.
HHH stands over Orton’s body like a viking standing over a big kill to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, this show is WAY better than I remember it with only two bad matches the whole way through. Unfortunately, the first of those two matches is after a nearly fifteen minute concert which no one wanted to see. The other match though is the main event which counting recap, entrances and post match stuff is nearly 40 minutes. That match is like a sledgehammer to the knees of this show and is easily one of the worst main events in Mania history.
On the other hand, the rest of the show is shockingly good, but it falls short of what it could have been in places. MITB is probably the worst yet but still solid, the Legends match was good but had absolutely no right to be, the Hardy match was good but nothing more, and the triple threat was about the same. The problem here is that one match is all anyone really remembers from this show other than a few individual moments. The memory of the main event hurts this thing a lot as it’s the only thing people remember other than the Streak match. Much better show than I remember, but it’s no classic.
Ratings Comparison
Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Divas Battle Royal
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: C
Redo: B
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
Original: A+
Redo: A+
John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Randy Orton vs. HHH
Original: F+
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: D
Redo: B-
Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Clash of the Champions 6: Ragin Cajun
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes
Where do I begin with this one? First and foremost, this is on the same night as Wrestlemania 5 in a final attempt to sabotage the WWF. The problem was that this ran against Savage vs. Hogan which if my memory is right was either the highest PPV buyrate ever or the second highest. The main event from WCW (NWA but we’ll keep things simple here) is Steamboat vs. Flair II in a 2/3 falls match with Steamboat defending his newly won title. Let’s get to it.
Also, 5,300 people in the Superdome? That place holds over 75,000 for football.
We see a lot of legends at a dinner or something last night. Big names like Muchnik, Thesz, O’Connor, Funk and Funk among others. Jim Herd talks about protecting the integrity of the NWA or some jazz like that. Turner had recently bought the company I think so the NWA’s days were numbered.
Terry Funk will be replacing Hayes for commentary on the main event.
We run down the card through a long video package. Or maybe this is just an opening video in general. This goes on a bit too long.
National anthem.
Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team
Dangerously manages the Samoans here. This is his second team to beat Cornette and run him out of the NWA after the Original Midnight Express lost a loser leaves town match at Chi-Town Rumble. This version of the Samoans would become the Headshrinkers and are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi). It’s Samu vs. Lane to start us off and Samu misses a cross body. Lane’s gets two.
Off to Eaton who hits a missile dropkick and it’s back to Lane who controls. The Midnights are the faces here. Cornette pops Fatu with the tennis racket but doesn’t get caught so we keep going. Fatu comes in for a few seconds and it’s back to Samu again. We get heel miscommunication and the Samoans have a meeting on the floor. Hayes uses Monsoon’s line of saying this is a main event in any arena in the country. Except this one.
Back to Eaton vs. Samu and Eaton out moves him quickly. Samu is like screw this wrestling stuff and starts using power to take over. The Midnights tag in and out quickly. I didn’t even notice Eaton going out. The Midnights cheat but they’re good guys so they can get away with it here. Back to Eaton and this has been all Midnights so far.
The heels finally start cheating like good evil Samoans and Eaton is in trouble in the corner. Off to a chinlock/nerve hold as Eaton is taking a good beating. Fatu hits the kick to the face but it’s in the corner so it doesn’t look as good. Eaton avoids a shot and it’s hot tag to Lane. They double team the Samoans and ram their heads together which starts a fight between the Samoans.
Cornette hits a Samoan (you can’t tell them apart from behind) with the racket and Dangerously pops Lane I believe with his phone, allowing the Samoans to take over on Lane for a bit. Back to the nerve hold which eats up awhile. This is a long match as we’re approaching twenty minutes. Another Fatu superkick gets two. Lane finally avoids a middle rope headbutt and it’s a double tag to bring in Samu and Eaton.
Eaton hammers away but tries a double noggin knocker. Take a guess as to how that goes for him. Just guess. Lane gets back in and everything breaks down. Lane sends Fatu to the floor and the Rocket Launcher hits Samu. Cornette and Heyman get into it on the apron and the phone goes flying. Fatu clocks Eaton with it for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was ok but it wasn’t a classic or anything. The Samoans weren’t nearly as difficult to do anything as Rikishi would become but they were still something different than the Midnights were used to. Also with this being more about the managers than the teams, it became a bit harder to have heat out there. Still though, nothing bad.
Great Muta vs. Steve Casey
Casey is a jobber and Muta is one of the hottest acts in American wrestling at this point. Muta does a trance/meditation thing to start as Hayes makes fun of Oklahoma. Casey shows why he’s a jobber by charging at Muta. You deserve that mist you get you schmuck. Handspring elbow (Muta invented it) hits Casey and we hit the chinlock. Casey goes for the arm for a short arm scissors but Muta gets bored so he kicks Casey in the face.
Casey heads to the floor to clear his head but Gary Hart, Muta’s manager, rolls him back in so that Muta can hit a hard dropkick off the top. JR compares Muta to Sting which would be the feud that made Sting into a great in ring guy to go with his charisma. Muta hooks some freaky leglock and then a nerve hold. Casey tries something else so Muta hits a spin kick to kick Casey’s head off again.
Off to another nerve hold and this is starting to go too long. Casey gets what is probably the highlight of his match by hitting a clothesline to take Muta down. He hits a dropkick but Muta swats the second one away. Casey grabs his foot so Muta hits another SWEET spin kick to send Casey to the floor. A pescado and the handspring elbow on the floor continues the dominance and the Muta Moonsault (a quick one that stays low) ends this slaughter.
Rating: C+. It’s just a long squash but Muta was REALLY good back then. When he got to fight Sting for months on end, it was pure gold because Sting was actually able to keep up with Muta in the ring. As for this though, it was total dominance and Muta’s calmness throughout the match is a really great addition to his character as he knew he was better and didn’t sweat Casey at all, because he had no reason to.
Junkyard Dog vs. Butch Reed
This is an old Mid-South feud and New Orleans was a big Mid-South town so the fans are probably going to be way more into it than they should be. JYD has a band to bring him out. As in tubas and horns and such. It’s a very New Orleans style intro. Reed was in a singles push at this point and was kind of almost maybe sort of considering being put in the Horsemen to the point where he even held up four fingers at one point. That wouldn’t happen of course but he was probably the top candidate for it. He has Hiro Matsuda here though.
JYD takes over to start and Reed is on the floor quickly. Back in and Dog does his all fours headbutts to send Reed right back out. Dog hammers away some more until Reed pounds away to take over. This is almost all kicking and punches. Off to a chinlock by Reed and Dog makes his comeback. Both guys go down off a double clothesline. Reed goes up for his top rope shoulder but Dog gets his foot on the rope. Dog sends Reed into Matsuda and botches a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D. This was so boring that it almost put me to sleep. Ok not really on the sleep thing but it was very dull. It’s your standard 80s kick and punch match which means it wasn’t interesting at all. Reed would go on to form Doom after this though while Dog would flounder for awhile before fading into obscurity.
Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch
Ross is way too excited for this match. They start on the mat with Orton firing off some fireman’s carry slams. You might almost say he’s adjusting Murdoch’s attitude. Murdoch puts on an armbar and the old school nature is very clear very quickly. Orton kips up to get out of it. Can his son do that? Dory Funk Jr. and Pat O’Connor are watching from the crowd. Murdoch has a wristlock on again and by that I mean he has it on for awhile.
Now it’s Orton with an armbar. Murdoch is the face here. I didn’t really know that either until Ross mentioned that the fans loved him. We’re still in the arm stuff here. Muchnick, Kiniski, Thesz and I believe Buddy Rogers are at ringside also. Five minutes in and the arm stuff is finally over. Orton pounds away but Murdoch is waking up in the corner. A dropkick puts Orton down and they brawl a bit more. Both try their finishers, but Murdoch has his foot tripped during the brainbuster and Gary Hart (Orton’s manager) holds the foot for the pin. Think of Mania 5 and the finish might sound familiar.
Rating: D. This was boring. The match is just under ten minutes long. 5 were spent in arm holds, 3 were spent brawling and 2 were spent on the finish. That doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Murdoch and Orton were both old at this point and it was obvious that no one was interested in seeing this match other than maybe a bit for Murdoch.
World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors
It’s Rotunda/Williams here and the Warriors have the belts. Hawk vs. Rotunda starts us off. Mike isn’t in a good mood as he lost the TV Title to Sting the day before on TV. Off to Animal who cleans house including a powerslam to Williams. Hawk comes in and doesn’t do as well. I always thought Animal was the better of the two. To prove me right, Animal comes in and runs through both of them again.
The Varsity Club (Williams I think) pulls the top rope down and Animal tumbles to the floor. Off to a bearhug but Animal manages the tag. Teddy Long (referee) doesn’t see it so Hawk has to go out. This is important because at the same time, Rotunda comes in with no tag and Long allows it. Remember that. Williams comes back in and takes the leg out from Animal as JR explains the football strategy at play there.
The beating goes on for awhile longer with Animal getting close but not being able to make the tag. You’ve seen the same thing a million times before. It’s a good thing they’re letting Animal stay in there this long as when Hawk gets tired, he gets bad in a hurry. There’s the hot tag and Hawk cleans house. Everything breaks down and Animal accidentally tosses Long. Doomsday Device hits and Teddy won’t count. Williams comes in and rolls up Hawk and Teddy dives in for the absolute fastest three count you’ll ever see for the title change. His hand didn’t go above his shoulder on any of the counts.
Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the ending got Teddy out of being a referee and turned him into a manager. I think he took over the Skyscrapers just after this. The Road Warriors wouldn’t get close to the titles anymore after this and would leave for the WWF about a year later. The Freebirds would get the belts in a little over a month before a team called the Steiner Brothers took them in November.
The Warriors and their manager rant about the cheating.
Ranger Ross vs. Iron Sheik
Ross is a military themed guy and he repels from the ceiling. Sheik does the national anthem bit before the match and then jumps Ross before the bell. Ross gets beaten down and both guys get abdominal stretches. Ross gets a standing Mafia Kick but Rip Morgan, Sheik’s flag bearer, comes in for the DQ. JYD makes the save. This was nothing and I don’t think it led anywhere.
Flair says he’s ready and he’s awesome and all that jazz.
US Tag Titles: Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert vs. Kevin Sullivan/Dan Spivey
Steiner and Gilbert are champs here. Sullivan and Spivey are Varsity Club. That would break up later in the year. This is a rematch from yesterday on TV where the Varsity Club won. Oh and Missy Hyatt is with the champions. The challengers jump them to start and Spivey lets Gilbert up at two which even Hayes criticizes. The big beatdown is on and it’s all Varsity Club here.
They’re out on the floor now and Spivey rams Gilbert’s back into the post. Off to Sullivan now which only lasts a bit. A flying clothesline gets two for Spivey. Tree of Woe (not named that) to Gilbert but Sullivan tries it again with the second time failing. Here’s Steiner who beats up Spivey and hooks a belly to belly for two. Everything breaks down and Gilbert pops Sullivan with Missy’s loaded purse for the pin.
Rating: C. It’s really short because we have an hour long main event. This went nowhere because the time killed it but it wasn’t anything all that bad while they were in there. For no given reason (literally) the titles were vacated soon and weren’t won by anyone until a tournament in February, about 9 months later. This was fine.
NWA World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair
This is 2/3 falls with a 60 minute time limit. As usual, Flair comes out with women while Steamboat has his son and wife. The son is in a dragon costume. The belt looks good on Ricky. Then again that belt looks good on almost anyone. Except Ronnie Garvin but that goes without saying. Flair has the always awesome black robe here. I miss that thing. Terry Funk is on commentary instead of Hayes which is the very beginning of the next world title feud once this ends.
They hit the mat quickly and MAN are they fast down there. Steamboat gets a very hard chop and the fans are buzzing over it. Flair works the arm as they’re going slow to start. The difference between this and Orton vs. Murdoch: this is going to go somewhere else. I have a feeling the other one wouldn’t have if they had 40 minutes to work with. Flair hits the floor and says come out here.
Steamboat grabs a headlock and they chop it out. By that I mean they hit each other so hard you can hear the skin slap every time. Steamboat speeds things up and it’s back to the mat with the headlock. Dropkick gets two for Steamboat. We’re ten minutes in now. The US and TV title matches might be on but we’re not sure. For some reason they were scheduled later. Neither will wind up airing but they’re nothing of note anyway. Sting and Luger both retain over Rip Morgan and Jack Victory respectively.
Back to the mat now and Steamboat controls with a front facelock. Flair tries to fight back but gets chopped down for two. They have a ton of time here so they’re definitely in slow mode. Flair heads to the floor and there’s the Flair Flop outside. We get an explanation of how the other title matches will air on Saturday’s TV show if necessary. I like that and the reason being is they wanted to make sure this gets the full time limit if they need it.
We’re 15 minutes in and they chop away hard. Steamboat puts Flair down with a double shot for two. Flair blocks a splash with knees and goes to work on the ribs. Butterfly suplex gets two. Steamboat keeps kicking out as Flair has a test of strength grip while Steamboat is on the mat. They chop it out but Steamboat misses a dropkick in a nice bit of psychology. Steamboat counters a Figure Four attempt into a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the first fall at just shy of twenty minutes.
Back with the second fall after a brief rest period. Steamboat takes over quickly and hits a top rope chop to the head for two. Funk says this is like his brother vs. Brisco. Now that is a compliment. Flair misses his knee drop and Steamboat goes after the other leg. He drops SIXTEEN elbows on it and slaps on the Figure Four (ON THE CORRECT LEG!!!). Flair finally grabs the ropes but he’s in trouble.
Flair avoids another Figure Four but gets caught in a Boston Crab at what sounded like the 25 minute mark. He gets to the rope again but he’s still in big trouble. Flair fires a few shots off but we go down into the backslide reversal spot which I’m sure you all are familiar with. They hit the floor and Steamboat goes into the railing. We’re at thirty minutes now and Flair suplexes Steamboat over the top for two.
Abdominal stretch time by Flair and he even rolls Steamboat up for two while still holding onto it. Steamboat gets beaten on a bit more until Flair goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed for two. Out of nowhere Steamboat grabs a double chickenwing hold (think the position for the Glam Slam but he holds Flair in place) for a submission to tie us up at a fall apiece.
After a quick break Flair is spent but Steamboat gets poked in the eye so he can’t follow up at the thirty five minute mark. There’s the second Flair Flop in about a minute. They chop it out but Flair grabs….something that we can’t see since the camera angle was really bad for a bit. It was a leg move whatever it was. The Figure Four goes on quickly but Steamboat grabs the ropes even faster.
Steamboat fires back even more chops and Flair gets taken down as he tries to do the Flair Flip in the corner and run up the other corner spot. Flair rolls Steamboat up and puts his feet on the ropes for two. We have twenty minutes left in the time limit. Flair works on the knee even more and there’s the Figure Four. Steamboat taps like crazy but that doesn’t mean anything for a few years.
The hold is finally broken and Flair goes up top again for a cross body for two. Steamboat tries to slam him but can’t hold him due to the leg work. We have 15 minutes left. Steamboat’s cross body gets two as does a sunset flip for the champion. Flair throws on a sleeper which is the logical idea here, although I don’t ever recall it winning a match in this situation.
Steamboat manages to send Flair into the corner and out of the ring to get a break. We hit the 50 minute point as JR makes fun of the WWF by saying they’re not coming out to music and posing. Flair goes after the knee again but Steamboat chops away. Just because irony is fun, Steamboat poses after coming out to music. The NWA doesn’t do that right? The champ lowers his head and Flair pops him in the back and hooks a suplex for no cover.
We have six minutes left and Flair goes up for no apparent reason. After the legally required slam, it’s time for the screwy (but legal) finish. Steamboat goes back to the double chickenwing but his leg gives out. It’s almost like a tiger suplex at this point and Steamboat pops his shoulder up at the last minute to have Flair pinned.
Rating: A. Hard to argue with this one as it wasn’t an iron man match so the time limit was just there to give it a cap on the ending. Everything makes sense and the psychology flows very nicely with both guys having the injuries from earlier in the match come into play later on, especially in the ending. This was great stuff and while you could probably cut out some of it, it’s still good stuff.
HOWEVER, we have an issue. Flair’s foot was in the ropes during the pinfall, meaning we have an unclear finish. Steamboat is in the back and sees it and exactly as you would expect from him, he’s totally calm about it and says Flair has a legit complaint and needs to talk to someone about it. This set up match #3 at Wrestle War which is allegedly the best of the trilogy, although I’ve always liked Chi-Town Rumble best.
Overall Rating: B. When you have a three hour show and one hour of it is spent in a very good match, it’s hard to say this isn’t a good show. The question then is how good is it. The middle of the show isn’t that great but it’s not the worst show you’ll see. Steamboat vs. Flair is always worth seeing, but I think this might be the least interesting of their series, which might be because the title didn’t change. Still though, good old fashioned NWA stuff here before they got silly.
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Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re going outside for the first time in a long time for this one. It’s also the first time the show has been in Florida which is odd for some reason. Anyway the main events here are Undertaker challenging Edge for the title and Orton defending against HHH and Cena. As for HHH’s life mate Shawn, he’s facing Flair in what was pretty clearly going to be Flair’s last match. Let’s get to it.
John Legend sings America the Beautiful.
The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.
As usual, the big names on tonight’s show talk about how important this night is to them. It’s a used formula, but it always works.
This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
This is a Belfast Brawl which means street fight. Finlay was revealed to be Hornswoggle’s dad and JBL beat up the tiny man as a favor to Vince. Tonight it’s about revenge. Horny comes out with Finlay to appeal to the kids. Finlay charges at the ring and gets drilled by a knee to the head. JBL pounds away on the floor but gets sent shoulder first into the steps. We head inside for the opening bell and Finlay slides right back out to find some trashcans.
As he gets back in though JBL CRACKS him with a can and picks up some cookie sheets. Now the steps are brought in but JBL can’t powerbomb Finlay onto them. Some cookie sheet shots to the head put JBL down for two but a big boot does the same to Finlay. JBL stops to yell at Horny, allowing for the shot with that Irish club that I can’t spell. Since this is a WWE hardcore style match, it’s table time.
The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.
Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was fine. The whole point of this was to have a power brawl with some basic weapons which is what we got. I’m really not sure on JBL winning as the fans were solidly behind Horny and Finlay, but at least the match was entertaining and there were some hard shots in there. Good stuff here.
Kim Kardashian is guest hostess. She wasn’t famous for the most part yet here. Kennedy pops in and says he’ll win MITB and Kardashian is a little disturbed. Well to be fair she disturbs a lot of people so everything is even.
CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito
Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.
In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.
Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.
Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.
Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.
Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.
Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.
Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.
We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.
Fink comes out to do the live introductions of this year’s class. They include the Brisco Brothers, Gordon Solie (represented by his kids), Johnson and Maivia, Eddie Graham, Mae Young (who tries to strip) and Flair (represented by his children, including Reid who died about three days before this was written).
Snoop Dog is here to emcee the Playboy match later and apparently has a friend in Festus. Heel Santino Marella comes up to say that he’s going to be at the match later but Snoop rings the bell to send Festus into a rage. Mick Foley pops up for a cameo, complete with Snoop Sock.
Batista vs. Umaga
This is a Battle for Brand Supremacy with Batista on the blue team and Umaga on the red team. Seriously that’s the whole story here. Regal and Teddy are here as GM’s/motivators. Slugout to start followed by Umaga missing a charge into the corner. Batista sends him to the floor but once back inside Umaga takes Big Dave down with a spinwheel kick (decent one too). A big unbooted foot sends Batista to the floor and Umaga is in full control.
Umaga gets nowhere off a quick nerve hold and gets even worse off a missed swan dive. Batista can’t slam him down though and Umaga falls on top for two. A HARD kick to Batista’s back sets up another nerve hold to keep things slow. Back up and Batista walks into a Samoan Drop for another near fall. They fight up again and Batista gets up a boot in the corner to slow Umaga down. After blocking the Samoan Spike, Batista hits a spinebuster and the “Batista Bomb” (read as Batista picks him up and falls backwards to send Umaga to the mat) for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with Batista doing nothing and being booed for most of his comeback. I can’t say I blame the fans either as the match was just dull all around. How this makes Smackdown bigger than Raw is beyond me but that’s what WWE says so who am I to argue? Match sucked.
We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.
We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.
ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.
Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.
We recap Shawn vs. Flair. This was an odd build up as Vince said that the next match Flair lost would mean his retirement. This basically started Flair’s retirement tour as he held onto the title in upset after upset until he was all of a sudden on a roll. This led to Flair challenging Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels to a showdown at Wrestlemania, because if Flair can’t beat him he doesn’t want to keep going.
Flair was inducted into the Hall of Fame and it was made as clear as possible that Flair was going down to Shawn in Orlando. This led to a tear jerking video set to Leave the Memories Alone with a highlight reel of Flair’s career. The idea is that Shawn doesn’t want to do this but Flair wants Shawn to bring it.
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”
Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.
Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.
Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.
Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.
Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.
Edge talks about being a Hulkamaniac at Wrestlemania 6 and watching his hero losing. His innocence was lost that day but it’s ok. His life has come full circle because people rely on Undertaker to win at Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s taking everyone innocence by breaking the streak.
Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina
This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.
Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.
Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.
Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.
Post match Snoop lays out Santino with a clothesline and makes out with Maria. I’ll give him this: he seemed to be having a blast out there.
We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena
Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.
Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.
It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.
Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.
Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.
Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.
Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.
We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather which is the big celebrity match of the night. Big Show was a bully to the much smaller Mayweather at No Way Out where Floyd legitimately broke Show’s nose with a right hand, setting up tonight’s No DQ match. The big question was who do we cheer for in this match? The bully or the guy who keeps running his mouth and brags about how no one can beat him? That question was never answered even after the match was over. Mayweather allegedly got $20 million for this one match. He’s a world champion boxer if you’re not a fan of his.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show
You can by pin, submission or knockout. Other than that anything goes. Floyd is in gloves which would seem to be a disadvantage for him but whatever. He bobs and weaves a lot before firing off some nice punches to Big Show. Mayweather stops for a drink from a chalice (seriously) and Show beats up Mayweather’s team a bit. Show grabs an incoming punch and tries to stomp on Floyd’s hand. Smart strategy.
Show lifts him up for a chokeslam but that lets Floyd get on even level with Show’s head. Some rights to the face stagger show but Mayweather tries to choke him out, which actually works for a bit. Show finally flips him over and steps on Floyd’s left hand. The guys on the floor FREAK and say that’s not allowed before Show chops Mayweather in the corner. Show stands on Floyd’s back before putting him down with a side slam.
A headbutt stops Floyd’s comeback bid and there’s an elbow drop for good measure. Mayweather tries to bail but Big Show chases the team down, beats them up, and throws Floyd back in the ring. Show loads up the chokeslam but a handler hits Show with a chair. He gets chokeslammed down but Mayweather gets the chair and blasts Show with it a few times. A low blow and three chair shots to the head sets up a brass knuckle right hand to Show’s jaw for the knockout (and Show was on his knees at 9).
Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.
Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.
Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.
We get a video on the Streak which is interrupted by Edge’s theme music. Edge already beat Undertaker once by cashing in MITB last year and then costing him the title at Survivor Series. They’re trying to play up Streak vs. streak here but Edge lost in MITB last year.
Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge
Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.
Edge sends Taker over the corner by avoiding a big boot, possibly injuring Taker’s arm in the process. A spear sends Taker off the apron and into the barricade to work over the ribs a bit. Edge hits a hard baseball slide to send Taker back into the barricade as the match slows down a bit. With Undertaker on the apron, Edge hits a running neckbreaker to snap Undertaker’s neck across the top rope.
Back in and Edge pounds away even more before hitting a spear into the corner for no cover. Instead it’s a dropkick to put Taker down again and Edge goes up, only to be shoved down to the floor with a sick thud. There’s the Taker Dive to continue the Wrestlemania tradition. Taker drops the apron legdrop and heads back inside for the Last Ride but his back won’t let him use it.
They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.
The chokeslam is countered into the Impaler DDT for two. The second chokeslam attempt works but it only gets a near fall as well. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner but has to counter the Last Ride out of the corner with a neckbreaker for two. These counters are getting awesome. The Last Ride (more of a regular powerbomb here) hits but it only gets two. Edge counters the Tombstone into the Edge-O-Matic for ANOTHER close two. The fans aren’t buying Edge’s near falls.
Back up and Taker’s big boot hits the referee before Edge takes down the Dead Man. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam bid and Edge blasts Taker in the head with a camera. Taker sits up and like a dolt, Edge tries a Tombstone. Taker reverses into one of his own and here’s another referee running a LONG way down the aisle to count two. Cue Hawkins and Ryder (as in Curt and Zack, the Edgeheads) to distract Taker and let Edge hit the spear for two. NOW the fans are fired up about the kickout. Another spear connects but Taker grabs the Hell’s Gate submission out of nowhere and Edge taps away the title to make it 15-0.
Rating: A. I kept hearing about how great this match was and while I remember it being good, I don’t remember it being this good. It’s pretty safe to say that this is Edge’s best non-gimmick match ever and it’s one of his best ever period. Great match here and it would set up a series of solid gimmick matches between the two over the summer.
A lot of fireworks end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. There’s some very good stuff on here along with some historic stuff to go with it. The bad stuff is mostly short and the main event was very solid and better than I remember. I don’t know if I’d say it’s one of the best ever but it’s in the running for that list. Really fun show here which was better than I was expecting it to be.
Ratings Comparison
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison
Original: B
Redo: B
Batista vs. Umaga
Original: F+
Redo: D-
Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A
Redo: B
Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley
Original: F
Redo: F+
John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton
Original: C+
Redo: B
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show
Original: D-
Redo: C+
Edge vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: A-
WOW I totally shortchanged this last time. It’s a great show and I said a C-? What was I on?
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Monday Nitro #30
Date: April 1, 1996
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael
We’re in the eighth month of Nitro and finally into the 30s of the shows. The company moves towards Slamboree which hasn’t been mentioned yet but there’s some stuff to get through first. This is kind of a dead period for a few weeks so there isn’t much to say about this one. Let’s get to it.
We open in the ring with Sting and Giant just about to start us off here. Well ok then.
Giant vs. Sting
This would be the main event of said Slamboree PPV. Giant swings but misses as we’re told that this was supposed to be Sting/Giant (why?) vs. Harlem Heat but Jimmy paid off the actual team. Sting hammers away but can’t get anywhere with him. Cross body just bounces off Giant which always looks cool. Sting manages to send him to the floor but Giant grabs him around the throat for a chokeslam from the apron. Sting manages to get a dropkick to send Giant flying to the floor. Luger runs in to help Sting and it’s thrown out. Too short to rate.
Cue the theme song.
We see a clip from before the show with Jimmy paying off Harlem Heat to leave their tag title opportunity. Wait why would Giant be Sting’s partner when Sting and Luger are champions?
Flair defends against Luger later.
Nasty Boys vs. Road Warriors vs. Steiner Brothers
Rick vs. Knobbs to start us off in a rare (for this period and company) three way dance. Things quickly break down with Knobbs vs. Animal. I wish they were doing the version of this they were doing later in the history of the company where it would be three guys in the ring at once. Scott gets a pumphandle slam to Hawk for no cover. Hawk rams into the post shoulder first as this is kind of hard to follow.
Back in and the shoulder is fine. Hawk takes Scott down with a neckbreaker and a fist drop for two. Animal vs. Scott now and Animal is sent into Rick who drills him and gets two after being tagged. WOW that was a badly written sentence. Sags apparently tags in and the Nastys beat up Scott. They’re tagging in and out insanely fast here. Hawk fights Sags on the floor and now has a choke on Rick in the ring. I have no idea how they keep jumping but they’re not editing it or anything. It’s that big a mess.
Knobs hammers away on Rick and we take a break. There’s an explosion of pyro in front of a Nitro logo which probably scares half the crowd to death. Back with Rick vs. Animal. Now Sags just runs in when Animal tags Hawk. Ok so I’m not completely insane here. Knobs covers Hawk for two somehow. I’ve been watching this and I have no idea how we’re getting from point A to point B.
Sags and Scott come in and make that Animal vs. Rick. I want this to end very badly as it’s getting very annoying. Now Knobs is in there. You’re supposed to tag I think but it doesn’t seem like they are. Knobs sends Rick HEAD FIRST into the post. That looked sick. Now Public Enemy comes out and hammers everyone. In the insanity Scott pins Knobs to win. What the heck ever man.
Rating: F. In a match you’re supposed to be able to tell what’s going on. This was like something out of ECW’s worst nightmares. Terrible match and there was no way to tell what was going on as the rules kept being thrown out. Horrible match so of course it got about 15 minutes. Get on to ANYTHING else.
Hulk Hogan/Booty Man vs. Arn Anderson/Kevin Sullivan
Gee I wonder who wins here. After the entrances we take a break, complete with an ad for the Power Plant, set to what would become La Parka’s music. Heenan says tonight is his last night on Nitro for some reason. Booty Man vs. Anderson to start us off. They head to the floor with Anderson ramming him into the railing. Hogan (I think debuting the long tights here) takes Anderson’s head off with a clothesline. Scratch that as he had them at the PPV.
Off to Booty Man vs. Sullivan now as we’re just waiting on the hot tag to Hogan here. Hogan finally comes in and gets ZERO reaction. Anderson takes him back to the corner as we continue to talk about Heenan leaving. I don’t remember that at all but I doubt anything comes of it. Hogan gets a hot shot of all things and a double noggin knocker to make sure we’re still in the Hogan comfort zone.
Back off to Booty Man with Woman SCREECHING for Anderson to come on. Come on who? Uh I mean what. Yeah that’s it. Booty Man hammers on Sullivan on the floor and then goes back in for a sunset flip on Arn for two as Sullivan saves. Woman claws at Booty’s eyes (did I really just say that?) as we hear about how Woman wearing white is supposed to be bad.
Booty Man is sent to the floor again and we get into a standard heel formula with Booty Man playing Ricky Morton. And never mind as Hogan is tagged in rather fast. Still no reaction but the human sun is in there now. Liz, looking AWESOME in a leather skirt and thigh high boots, tries to help Anderson. Kimberly gives Hogan a show and it goes into Sullivan’s eye to end this.
Rating: D. Another weak main event level tag match here with nothing going on for the most part. It’s more Hogan vs. Horsemen/Dungeon to further prove that the NWO was desperately needing. I think the vast majority of people were just done with this feud but they kept it going anyway. Didn’t like this one at all.
Booty Man goes back to get the shoe and gets beaten down a bit.
Gene comes in to talk to the winners and Booty Man says he has an idea. Why do I have a feeling it involves bags of cocaine? Apparently it’s a gimmick match of some sort.
WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair
No show on the 8th apparently. Debra McMichael is in the front row which would eventually lead to foreshadowing. Luger challenging Flair for the world title just feels right. Flair struts a lot to start as you would expect. Luger overpowers him as you would also expect. Well at least they’re doing things simply to start. Press slam sends Flair down. This is about the same opening of their matches they always had which is fine.
Flair gets in a shot and works Luger over in the corner. Luger fires away with clotheslines and Flair takes a break. Back in and it’s a straight thumb to the eye to put Luger on defense again. Luger gets going again as this crowd is DEAD. They’ve been this way all night though so it’s not just the match. Luger chases the girls off and Flair is able to get a knee in to take over for about the fourth time.
Bischoff uses the term stomping a mudhole which Austin certainly wasn’t using yet. Heenan talks about taking some time off to relax which I think would set up him being the coach for the Horsemen at the Great American Bash. Figure Four goes on and Luger almost gets pinned in it. Luger gets up and a sunset flip gets two. Superplex to Flair and Luger growls at him. Powerslam hits and Woman pops up with a cup of coffee. Rack goes on but Liz has the referee. Coffee to Luger’s eyes sets up a rollup (and feet on the ropes of course) for Flair to retain.
Rating: C-. This was there for the sake of having a main event. That’s not so bad but at the same time it could have been more. These two could have a passable match in their sleep which is a good thing. At least it wasn’t that bad, but it was there for the sake of being there which is never a good thing. Not awful though.
Heenan says goodbye to the announcers. He has one more thing to say. APRIL FOOL’S! That was awesome as I totally forgot it was April 1.
Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t into this one at all. They were seemingly running around like crazy with no real idea of where they were going with this. It’s not their worst show but it clearly wasn’t one of their better ones. That week off probably helped them a lot as they needed time to recharge. Pretty clear they had no plan for Slamboree other than Lethal Lottery, which sucked. Weak show tonight.
Remember: no show for April 8. Next show will be the one dates April 15.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2013
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s finally the go home show for Wrestlemania which means we’re likely in for a slow evening tonight. These shows tend to be mainly talking with little action, as most of the wrestlers don’t want to risk injuries before the biggest night of the year. These shows don’t tend to do much, but to be fair most of the show on Sunday is already set in stone. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the three main events for the PPV and how all six guys will be around tonight to hype up Wrestlemania.
Here’s Cena to open the show. As the crowd is split, Cena talks about how this is a house divided. Just like in Washington DC politics, we have Cenacrats and Rockpublicans here tonight. Cena says that a year ago he would have come out here and made a stupid joke while Rock would have thrown Cena’s shirt in a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. This time the match is serious because Rock has done everything he’s ever set out to do. Therefore, Cena winning is impossible right? Just like Cena winning the Rumble and Cena beating Punk to go to Wrestlemania were impossible tasks right?
This Sunday is going to be different because Rock has already stuck his foot in his mouth. Cena had to put up with Rock establishing a new era in the WWE, but on Sunday in Rock’s first defense he’s losing his own era. However, Cena will continue the People’s Era after the mighty Rock experiences failure. Cena isn’t going to replace the WWE Championship when he wins it because he wants to hold it as a symbol. The fans chant boring for some reason. Cena says he’s going to get the title back and the champ will be here.
We stop for Lawler to make a Tout about who is going to win the match between Rock and Cena on Sunday. Lawler picks Rock.
3MB vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show
Orton and Slater start things off with Sheamus quickly coming in to work on Heath as well. Off to McIntyre who gets punched in the face and powerslammed down for no cover. 3MB finally uses their numbers to take Sheamus down in the corner but Slater walks into the Irish Curse. Hot tag brings in Show as everything breaks down. The brogue Kick puts Drew down and the WMD ends Mahal at 3:05.
Rating: C-. Total squash here which was what the entire idea was. The problem with this team is Shield is the only group that could give them a battle. Seeing them beat up 3MB isn’t going to do much good, but at least the match was short and we likely won’t have to see this again until Wrestlemania.
Shield comes down the aisle but stops halfway through. Ambrose congratulates them for such a big win. Rollins says Orton and company are only convincing themselves that they’re on the same page. Justice never lies and Shield knows the truth. That truth is that they’re not looking at a team but the people don’t believe in them. Once Sunday is over, the world will believe in the Shield.
Colter and Swagger were in Washington D.C. earlier today to talk about how America was broken. Swagger is the man to fix this because he’ll take care of the illegal immigrants and get them back to where they came from. He’ll start that at Wrestlemania by breaking the champion’s ankle as well as his spirit.
Del Rio says that America is a land of opportunity and Swagger has the right to free speech. If Del Rio doesn’t like what Swagger is saying, he can do something about it. Tonight it’s Del Rio vs. Colter and Zeb is a pinata with a mustache.
Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler grabs an armbar to start as AJ looks like her usual psycho self. Bryan fights back and catches Ziggler in a kind of spinebuster to send him into the corner. Bryan fires off some kicks to a kneeling Dolph and does his moonsault out of the corner. A clothesline puts Ziggler down but he makes the ropes before the NO Lock. Ziggler goes after the knee to take over before sending Bryan into the corner. A charge misses though and Bryan puts Ziggler in an old school Tarantula but has to stop to stare at Langston. Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for two and we take a break.
Back with Bryan kicking Ziggler in the face out of the corner before firing off some NO kicks to Ziggler’s shoulder and chest. Dolph misses a charge in the corner and Bryan fires off more kicks. A hard kick to the head looks to set up a Swan Dive but Bryan only hits mat. Both guys try cross bodies and crash to the mat as AJ starts skipping around Kane. The distraction lets Langston run over Kane and that distraction lets Ziggler roll up Bryan for the pin at 11:00.
Rating: C+. Semi-botched ending aside (Bryan’s shoulder looked to be up) this was a hard hitting match. The problem is this doesn’t exactly make me want to see the match on Sunday. Langston looked good but it would be nice to see him in a match, even a squash, before Sunday. This was good for what it was but it didn’t accomplish much.
Post match Langston lays out the tag champions.
Here’s Shawn Michaels who says you can’t have Raw without him. Shawn lists off the major matches before getting around to HHH vs. Brock. He has some doubts about something but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH says he knows what he’s doing but Shawn says he doesn’t think so. Shawn thinks the situations the two of them in were very different.
When Shawn’s career was on the line, Shawn looked at someone he had great respect for and that respect was mutual. When Shawn lost, he was heartbroken but Undertaker was just as heartbroken. Undertaker never came out here and bragged because Taker cares about Shawn that much. Brock on the other hand respects no one and HHH doesn’t respect him either.
Lesnar is here for the money, but the two of them are here for love of the sport. HHH loves it more than Shawn though because it’s HHH’s life. HHH says Shawn can’t talk him out of it, but that’s not Michaels’ point. Shawn is here to tell HHH that he HAS to do this. He’s going to be in HHH’s corner but before they can do the catchphrase, here are Brock and Heyman. Heyman says Brock has two words for HHH but doesn’t say what they are yet.
HHH is going to have to live with the disappointment of the McMahons because he won’t be able to fight Vince’s battles anymore. He’s used to disappointing his wife and he’s going to disappoint Shawn too. Brock might break Shawn’s arm again because that’s what Lesnar does. HHH should have walked away like Shawn did because now he’s going to have to crawl away. Lesnar has forced HHH to commit professional suicide.
Wade Barrett vs. Zack Ryder
Miz is on commentary and will meet Barrett for the title on the preshow. Barrett kicks him in the ribs to start and gets two off a fast suplex. Ryder goes up top but is pulled down for another two count and Wade drops an elbow. A big boot puts Ryder on the floor but Barrett stops to jaw with Miz. Back in and Ryder hits a flapjack and some hard forearms to the head. The Broski Boot gets two but Barrett blocks the knees in the corner. The Bull Hammer ends Ryder at 3:46.
Rating: C-. Total squash here and a dull one for the most part. Barrett winning is nice but I’m glad the title match is going to be on the preshow as it’s the least interesting match in a long time. Nothing to see here for the most part as it was just there to push the idea of Miz causing problems for Barrett….which he didn’t do.
Santino tells Vickie and Brad Maddox that Vince is here and he’s MAD. Oh and April Fool’s. Santino gets a match as punishment.
Santino Marella vs. Mark Henry
Santino fires off some kicks and goes right for the Cobra, only to be run over by Henry. World’s Strongest Slam and we’re done in 52 seconds.
Post match here’s Ryback but Henry says hang on a second. Henry says that nearly breaking a bench press record doesn’t give Ryback the right to intimidate Henry. Besides, they have a no contact clause. Tonight, all Henry is going to do is smile. Ryback responds by picking up Santino and ramming him into Henry. Mark is knocked to the floor, so Ryback picks Santino up and throws him onto Henry.
Punk says he doesn’t care if he’s disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer. He’s trying to get inside Undertaker’s head so he can win. Punk says that on Sunday, the only thing people are going to remember is Undertaker losing.
Zeb Colter vs. Alberto Del Rio
Swagger goes after Ricardo and the distraction lets Colter hit Del Rio in the back with a crutch for the DQ at 50 seconds.
Post match Swagger takes out the champion’s knee and beats on him with the crutch.
Here’s Rock with something to say. Rock says he’s here because of the connection between himself and the fans. He’s here to go to Wrestlemania and take it to John Cena before beating him all over Wrestlemania. Rock says he and Cena could change the world if the people will it. He gets on a bizarre tangent about being President someday and that he’s glad he can count on all of the fans’ votes.
When he’s inaugurated, he’ll start his speed by saying FINALLY he’s come back to Washington D.C. On Sunday, Cena’s time is never and it’s not about passing the torch, because the only way that happens is if Rock lights the belt on fire and puts it inside Cena. On Sunday, Cena is facing both Rock and the MILLIONS, if you smell what he’s cooking.
Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro throws him around to start but walks into a dropkick for two. A quick chinlock by the US Champion (non-title here of course) is broken up and Jericho loads up a top rope rana for two. Cue Fandango as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a cravate as Fandango is scoring Jericho’s moves. Cesaro pounds away for a few two counts and sends Jericho out to the floor before cranking on his neck some more. Antonio yodels a bit before charging into Jericho in the corner to pound away.
Jericho comes back with a top rope ax handle (4 from Fandango) and the bulldog to set up the Lionsault (3). Cesaro counters the Walls in a SWEET spin out into the gutwrench suplex for two. Jericho chops him down and goes up for a cross body (4) but he dropkicks Fandango down, allowing Cesaro to roll Chris up for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hooks the Walls for the tap out at 12:47.
Rating: C. My but this was disappointing. At the end of the day, Cesaro has been depushed harder than anyone I can remember since Zack Ryder and for no apparent reason other than the boredom of the writers. He’s a total jobber at this point and is US Champion for no apparent reason. Jericho better put Fandango over STRONG on Sunday.
Fandango destroys Jericho post match and hits two guillotine legdrops for good measure.
Stephanie McMahon is inducting Trish Stratus into the Hall of Fame.
We get some fan Touts on who wins between Rock vs. Cena.
Bella Twins vs. Funkadactyls
Naomi and we’ll say Brie start things off with Naomi taking the Bella down with the Rear View. I’ll let you figure out what she did there. Off to Nikki to crank on Naomi’s arm with an armbar as Tensai and Brodus play cheerleader. Naomi botches a sunset flip and it’s back to the armbar. She fights back and it’s off to Cameron for a bouncing headscissors on I think Brie. A legdrop hits Brie and a good DDT gets no count as Nikki makes the save. Everything breaks down and Nikki rolls through a Cameron cross body for the Bellas win at 4:46.
Rating: D+. The Bellas are intense and looked good in their tiny outfits, but at the end of the day there’s nothing to be seen in the ring. Cameron was especially bad and brought the athletic Naomi down. The eight person tag on Sunday should be ok but other than that there isn’t much to be seen here.
Here’s Undertaker for his “verbal evisceration” of CM Punk. Punk’s title reign lasted over 400 days but his punishment is going to last for eternity. The disrespect for Paul Bearer will cause Punk to pay the ultimate price. This brings out druids with torches but Undertaker looks surprised to see them. We hear Bearer’s OH YEEEEEES and here’s Heyman in a Bearer disguise.
Taker has had enough and goes up the ramp, only to be stopped by….nothing at all. Instead he beats up the druids to find Punk but picks the wrong one. Punk hits him in the ribs with the Urn and a few shots to the back for good measure. Punk yells that it’s over and that it’s going to be 20-1. With Undertaker down, Punk POURS THE ASHES ONTO UNDERTAKER.
Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is perfect for this show. It was kind of entertaining and didn’t drag for the most part, but the show didn’t make me want to watch Wrestlemania any more or any less than I already wanted to. It enforced the matches well enough but didn’t do anything to excite me. Therefore, it’s right in the middle.
Results
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. 3MB – WMD to Mahal
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer
Mark Henry b. Santino Marella – World’s Strongest Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. Zeb Colter via DQ when Colter used a crutch
Chris Jericho b. Antonio Cesaro – Walls of Jericho
Bella Twins b. Funkadactyls – Rollup to Cameron
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles
To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.
We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.
Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.
Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.
They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.
Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.
Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.
Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.
We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.
It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.
Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.
Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.
Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.
Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.
Batista is All Grown Up.
Great Khali vs. Kane
This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.
Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.
Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.
Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.
The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.
Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.
Some Detroit Tigers are here.
US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.
Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.
Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.
Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.
Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.
Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.
The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.
Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.
82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.
We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker
Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.
Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.
The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.
Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.
Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.
Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.
Lashley is All Grown Up.
Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.
Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.
New Breed vs. ECW Originals
It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.
It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.
Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.
Austin is All Grown Up.
Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.
We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.
Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.
Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.
A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.
Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.
Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.
Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.
Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.
John Cena is All Grown Up.
For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.
Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley
It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.
Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.
Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.
We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.
Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.
Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.
Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.
With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.
They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.
Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.
Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.
A highlight package ends the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.
Ratings Comparison
CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge
Original: B+
Redo: B
Great Khali vs. Kane
Original: D
Redo: D-
Chris Benoit vs. MVP
Original: B
Redo: C
Undertaker vs. Batista
Original: B+
Redo: A
ECW Originals vs. New Breed
Original: D+
Redo: D
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
Original: C-
Redo: D
Melina vs. Ashley
Original: F
Redo: M (for Mickie James)
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: B+
Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:
Remember how the Intercontinental Title Tournament in Rio de Janeiro was rumored to be fake? Well WWE has released the brackets for said tournament, which means it MUST be real.
http://www.wwe.com/classics/intercontinental-title-tournament-finally-uncovered-26102625/page-4
You know, because they wouldn’t lie to us. This is awesome.
World War 3 1997
Date: November 23, 1997
Location: The Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,128
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
Last show in this series here but not the last chronologically. It’s the final show before Starrcade 97 and the bullet that killed WCW. Anyway, the feature match here is of course the battle royal with the winner getting a shot at SuperBrawl which would later be changed to Uncensored (why Souled Out wasn’t an option is anyone’s guess). This is from when this was the hottest company in the world so I’d expect a lot more energy here than the next year. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is of a pilot/soldier in a decimated war zone with a destroyed ring in it. This is interspersed with clips of the show from the previous two years. Bet that cost more than some wrestlers’ salaries.
After the announcers talk for awhile we’re ready to go.
Glacier/Ernest Miller vs. Faces of Fear
Miller and Glacier aren’t total jokes yet and the Faces of Fear (Meng/Haku and Barbarian) are monsters at this point of course. We brawl to start and Meng vs. Glacier opens us up officially. Glacier moves around as much as he can but his shots don’t mean much at all. Standing armbar goes on and it’s off to Miller. It’s so weird to see Miller all serious like this instead of the James Brown thing.
Miller hammers on Barbarian but the three time world karate champion can’t put down the Tongan. Back off to Glacier as we’re up to speed vs. power here, making this mostly awesome. Miller dives on Barbarian on the floor, using Meng as a springboard. That looked rather awesome indeed. Jimmy Hart distracts Glacier and Barbarian runs him over.
Back in the ring Meng backdrops Glacier into a powerbomb by Barbarian for two in a sweet spot. We get into a basic face in peril sequence with Glacier getting beaten down. Powerslam by Meng gets two. Off to Barbarian in the corner and since Dusty isn’t here, I’ll say it: THEY BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! THEY BE CLUBBERIN!!!
Apparently Barbarian used to play rugby on the Isle of Tonga. Why in the world would Tenay know that? I get that he’s the Professor but dude, does Barbarian even speak English? Another powerslam by Meng gets two. Time for the nerve hold which is an old Tongan/Samoan/Savage standard. We hear a cool story about Meng being a bodyguard for the Emperor of Japan as this needs to end rather soon.
Elbow drop misses and Miller still can’t get tagged in. We finally get to the hot tag and Miller cleans house. He kind of reminds me of Tajiri actually but a bit taller. Kicks all around, including one to Jimmy Hart. It’s not like it matters though as the Tongan Death Grip ends Miller cold.
Rating: C-. I’ve seen far worse actually. Not particularly good but it was light years better than the 10 minute squash that we got the next year with Glacier in there. This wasn’t anything I’ll remember in about five minutes but it was still decent enough for an opener and that double powerbomb spot was cool. Not terrible.
TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Perry Saturn
Saturn had won the title in his debut off of Disco so this is his rematch. There’s your backstory. Oh and Saturn is in the Flock. Disco is being serious at the moment and he got the TV Title because of it. Raven comes to the ring with Saturn despite sitting in the front row pre match. Raven says let the stretching begin. Saturn immediately takes Disco down and the Inferno is frustrated.
Tenay vaguely references ECW by calling it an other organization. Saturn runs over Disco with power. So he can’t hang with him on the mat or power and Tenay said Saturn can fly. What chance does Disco have here exactly? Disco sends him to the floor as we hear about how during his six week reign with the title he never got a clean pin. Wait are we supposed to buy him as a credible guy or not?
Heenan might have picked Saturn for the battle royal but it’s not entirely clear. Disco makes Saturn take a break and then gets his head knocked off by a boot and clothesline. Atomic drop puts Saturn back down as this is a weird kind of back and forth. Disco hammers away with a back elbow and fist drop for two.
You may not believe this, but Disco does something incredibly intelligent here. You know that spot where a guy comes off the middle rope and jumps into a boot with no possible move they could have had other than jumping into the boot? Disco does it here but avoids the boot. Granted the elbow he attempted missed but I like what I saw there. T-Bone suplex to Disco has Saturn in control again.
Saturn covers him time after time but can’t get the pin. Second rope moonsault misses and Disco, who doesn’t have a finisher, tries a bunch of stuff for two. Saturn gets a backslide but sits down with it so that it’s like a sunset flip/backslide hybrid. Never seen that before. Disco is crotched on the top rope and Saturn hits a middle rope clothesline to send both guys to the floor.
They more or less fell onto the apron with that so it wasn’t the best looking move in the world. Disco yells at the Flock and hits Chartbusters (Stunners) on various members over the railing, including one on the debuting Lodi. He can’t hit one on Van Hammer and Saturn uses his chance to drill Disco and take over. Back to the middle ring and Disco gets a neckbreaker for two. Top rope cross body hits but Saturn rolls though into the Rings of Saturn (double arm hook submission) for the submission to retain.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but there were some bad spots. Also I still don’t know if we’re supposed to take Disco seriously even in his more serious persona or not. They didn’t seem to have much of a plan out there but that was somewhat typical of a Saturn match. Not bad though.
Yuji Nagata vs. Ultimo Dragon
Nagata has Sonny Onoo with him and if Dragaon, Onoo’s former protégé, loses then he gets five minutes with Sonny. Dragon has a bad arm thanks to Nagata. Dragon is fresh off one of the least interesting feuds over a title you’ll ever see, trading it twice with Alex Wright. Nagata is a much bigger star in Japan and takes over early by going after the arm, but Dragon fights his way out of it.
Nagata heads to the floor and Dragon follows. Sonny fires in some kicks so Dragon tries a suplex which Nagata breaks up to take over. Dragon grabs a headlock and gets suplexed. Nagata is one of the least interesting guys I’ve ever seen. Whenever his matches are on I can’t get interested in him at all. Piledriver gets two for Nagata. He grabs a chinlock and shifts it into a sleeper. Then he makes it even more interesting by going BACK to the chinlock! WOW!!!
Another Piledriver gets two. So is the BIG FREAKING BANDAGE on his arm not a big enough target that you should work on the arm? Nagata kicks him and heads to the camel clutch, shifting over to the back now. After that gets broken up he FINALLY works on the arm with a Fujiwara Armbar. Let’s hit that chinlock/sleeper again because that arm work can’t last that long.
Belly to belly overhead suplex gets two. Dragon avoids a backdrop and kicks the tar out of Nagata. Some Facewashes in the corner have Nagata in big trouble. Pescado is almost caught by a kick but Dragon catches the kick and hits a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to take Nagata down on the floor. Top rope cross body to the floor puts Nagata down again.
Back in and Dragon goes up again. Suplex off the top by Nagata is blocked and Dragon adds a moonsault for two. Dragon tries a suplex but Nagata reverses. That reversal is reversed into the Dragon Sleeper but Sonny distracts. Dragon Rana gets two but Sonny puts Nagata’s foot on the rope. We then get one of the sloppiest finishes I’ve EVER seen. Dragon tries a belly to back suplex but seems to fall towards the ropes. Nagata’s foot hits Sonny and Nagata falls on top. Dragon’s shoulder was up and he was in the ropes but the referee counted to four (yes four) anyway. That had to be at least one botch.
Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Nagata at all and this didn’t help my opinion of him. Terribly boring match with a bad finish and a total lack of psychology. Once Dragon got going in there towards the end it was an improvement but it didn’t make up for the previous eight minutes or so. Nagata continues to bore me.
Tag Titles: Blue Bloods vs. Steiner Brothers
The Blue Bloods are Dave Taylor (old English dude) and Steve Regal (yes that Regal). This was when the Steiners were tag champions but the Outsiders had their own belts. This would result in the temporary “Unified” tag titles. Ted DiBiase is managing them here. Scott vs. Taylor to start us off here. Scott isn’t that far away from turning heel and breaking up the team.
We hear about how awesome the Steiners are, including their two tag title reigns from another promotion (WWF) and how dominant they are. The Dudleys would more or less destroy every record they had but until they came along it was all Steiners. The British dudes get thrown around with ease and are sent to the floor to hide a bit. Rick vs. Regal now and it’s a USA chant.
Regal tries to use his technical stuff so Rick grabs his hand and cranks on it to take over. Well no one ever accused Rick of being a mental giant. Regal takes over for a bit but gets cocky and Rick gets a Fujiwara Armbar of all things to take him down. Off to Scott who gets that sweet belly to belly for two. STF goes on for all of two seconds and it’s back off to Rick.
He goes for the arm of Regal again but as Dave has the referee, Regal gets a finger to the eye to take over. And never mind as Rick gets a shoulder block and powerslam to take over again. Regal gets a knee to the back of Scott and pulls the rope down to send Scott outside. Taylor goes for the arm and it’s back to Regal. He hooks Scott in a leg lock and brings Taylor back in.
The Brits have used a lot of European uppercuts and every time they’ve put the Steiners down. Regal tries to speed things up and walks into a belly to belly by Scott, allowing for a tag to Rick. Down goes everyone and it all breaks down. Scott backdrops Taylor onto Regal and the Steiner Bulldog ends Regal to retain.
Rating: C-. Just an extended squash here. I don’t get why the vast majority of these matches have been on this show so far. I guess because we can’t have a battle royal go on for three hours. Either way this was more or less exactly what you would expect here. The Blue Bloods were more or less tag team jobbers so this didn’t have any heat on it at all.
JJ Dillon says Raven has 24 hours to sign a contract or he’s gone.
Raven vs. Scotty Riggs
Riggs is in an eyepatch due to Raven hurting him. Kidman, a member of the Flock, insists on Raven’s Rules, meaning No DQ. Raven has been trying to get Riggs to join the Flock, so what do you think is coming at the end here? Riggs jumps him and beats on Raven for awhile in the kind of offense you would expect from a guy that has no chance at all. Riggs gets a rollup for two as Raven can’t get much going.
Heenan makes blind jokes which are kind of funny. First of all he suggests moving the patch to the other eye. That’s actually rather smart when you think about it. Raven uses the shirt around his waist to choke away and we head to the floor. Riggs reverses and sends him into the steps and chokes with a cord. Tony says Raven is helpless, just as he pops up with a jawbreaker. I love it when Tony looks like an idiot, which means I love a lot in WCW.
The announcers say Scotty has done nothing since Bagwell and he broke up which makes me laugh for some reason. Raven gets a chair and hits him in the back with it a few times for some weak shots. Riggs gets the drop toehold into the chair as a reversal to break Raven’s momentum. Modified Van Daminator by Riggs gets two.
Riggs manages a bulldog onto the chair which looked either awesome or awful and I’m not sure which. Either way it gets two. And never mind as there’s the Evenflow DDT to kill Riggs dead. Raven wants a microphone instead though. There’s a second DDT as he says he feels Riggs’ pain and that it hurts Raven more than Riggs. Heenan: I don’t think so. Raven shouts about feeling the pain again and a third DDT has Riggs unconscious. The referee counts him out and it’s over.
Rating: D+. What was the point of this being on PPV again? For the big blowoff for Raven vs. Riggs? Weak match all around and Raven looked completely dominant even though he got beaten up. I think he would sign the next night but I’m not sure. Either way he would have Riggs in the Flock then and that’s about it.
Steve McMichael vs. Bill Goldberg
This is over Mongo’s Super Bowl ring that Goldberg stole at the previous PPV. Mongo comes out with a pipe Goldberg’s music hits and there’s no Goldberg. Mongo says this isn’t happening and says he can sneak up on people too. We go to the back and Goldberg is out cold. So no one noticed the big man in his underwear out cold on the concrete just behind the entry way? Mongo more or less gives an open challenge, resulting in this.
Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright
Wright isn’t here because he wants to be but because Debra, Mongo’s estranged wife, brings him out and more or less makes his fight. Wright whips him with his jacket to start. Wright is from Germany so wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Mongo is like screw this and hammers away, sending Wright to the floor. He tries to leave but Debra more or less makes him come back.
Alex tries to fight and gets slammed down to the mat with ease. Mongo is barely breaking a sweat in this. Was there a reason they didn’t have Goldberg in this that I’m not getting? Debra’s voice is irritating to put it mildly. Wright takes over for a very little bit with chops but McMichael takes out the knee. Side slam sets up the Tombstone to end it. Total and complete squash squash and no rating here. Heenan asks Who’s Next for Mongo. Nah that’ll never catch on.
Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
They’re coming off an absolute classic the previous month at Halloween Havoc. Eddie (not Eddy blast it!) is champion here. Also what is with the total lack of promos here? I think JJ had the only one so far. They start off with speed stuff to the shock of no one. Eddie is in gold tights and they’re really not working on him here. Rey gets that elevated snap mare to take Eddie down and it’s a stalemate.
The fans are all over Eddie here and his reaction is quite funny. Eddie ripped the mask off partially last time so we talk about that a bit here. Guerrero hits a German suplex and busts out some suplexes to take over. The problem here seems that they’re trying to have the match of the year rather than having a great match.
They fight towards the ropes and neither guy can take over. Hilo misses and Rey hits the floor. Both guys try dives but neither can hit them. Rey can’t get a sunset bomb so Eddie hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back in and Eddie goes up, only to get blocked by Rey. Superplex by Eddie takes Rey down but the Frog Splash misses. Eddie rolls through and Rey gets a rana for two.
Flapjack puts Rey down but Eddie can’t get up either. After some shots by Eddie he drops Rey over the top rope and spanks himself a bit. Eddie tries a sunset bomb which is reversed into a rana by Rey. Rey adds a front flip over the ropes to end Eddie. That and a moonsault gets in the ring. Eddie charges and is sent into the post but powerbombs Rey out of a rana to take over again.
Gory Special goes on by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Rey counters that into a sunset flip for two. Leg lariat puts Eddie down again but Rey doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. They try something from the top and Rey falls off in what looked like a mild botch. Moonsault press gets two for the guy in the mask. Dropping the Dime gets no cover as Rey wants to go up again. West Coast Pop with a flip gets two as Eddie grabs the rope. Awesome looking move. Rey tries to run at Eddie who is on the corner but Eddie gets a hot shot to block it. Frog Splash ends it.
Rating: B. Good match but their match the previous month gave them WAY too much to live up to. Naturally this was still great as their matches always would be. Not a classic but worth watching if you like these two. There were some botches in there and they were trying to live up to the previous month which never works at all.
Ad for Starrcade. Remarkable that they managed to screw that up, it truly is.
US Title: Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig had turned on Flair and the Horsemen at Fall Brawl, slamming Flair’s head in the door. He won the US Title soon thereafter and more or less hasn’t looked back since. This is Flair’s revenge match rather than for the title. It’s also No DQ and Hennig brings a chair with him. The referee gets rid of the chair which is kind of pointless but whatever. Hennig is wearing a Syxx shirt for no apparent reason.
Curt stalls like a Memphis man but gets caught on the floor and Ric hammers away. This is the last match before the battle royal too. We hit the crowd with Flair dominating. This is your usual brawl in the crowd with various punches and eye rakes along with people being rammed into objects. Flair is rammed into the railing as Curt dominates for awhile.
Back into the ring and Hennig chokes away with a cord and we go back to the floor. We hear about Flair playing football at the University of Minnesota which isn’t something you often hear about. Flair goes up top and drops a double axe onto Hennig into the railing by the throat but he might have hurt his ankle. Flair chops away as we talk about the battle royal with the various countries etc that are going to be here for the match. Good to know that a bunch of people we don’t know will be competing here.
Back into the ring (again) and the referee got poked in the eye by Hennig apparently instead of letting him count three. Hennig was covering Flair which means it was even stupider. He works on the leg with Flair losing his mind as usual of course. Heenan says you can forget the Figure Four now. Why do I not believe that in the slightest?
He drops a leg between Flair’s legs as Flair’s ankle is still hurt. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on by Hennig and he gets two on it as Flair is laying there. Ric fights out of it and gets a chopblock as the crowd is way into him, or at least his wooing. Snap mare puts Hennig down and drops the knee. After some right hands Flair goes up. Take a guess as to how this goes. Just take a guess.
They chop it out with Hennig easily getting the best of it, resulting in a Flair Flop for two. We slug it out in the corner a bit more with Flair tossing Hennig into the corner where Curt is crotched on the post as is his custom. Hennig drops low to avoid a chop as it’s Flair in control again. They ram heads though and both go down for a bit. Belly to back gets two for Flair.
To change the pace a bit, Hennig chops away in the corner. They’re in a different ring now also. Flair Flip in the corner and we go outside again. Scratch that as just Flair does as Hennig chills in the ring a bit which is probably pretty smart. They fight a bit on the floor with Hennig in control again. Flair sends him into the railing and both guys are down again.
Flair suplexes him back into the ring but that also only gets two. This is at about 15 minutes now and probably needs to end very soon. Flair gets a chair as I had forgotten this was a No DQ match. It gets set up in the ring and Flair crotches him on it and kicks the chair into the knee. Flair rams the knee with the chair and brings the belt into the ring. Figure Four goes on but the belt that is RIGHT NEXT TO HENNIG goes into Flair’s head and it’s over. Weak ending to say the least.
Rating: D+. This was WAY too long. This is nearly 18 minutes long and I legitimately forgot about the No DQ aspect of it for a very long time. I’m not sure what they were going for here as Flair is made to look like a guy that can’t get revenge in a match where he’s supposed to be dirty. Not a great match at all and very boring and repetitive as can be here.
World War 3
Chris Adams, Brad Armstrong, Marcus Bagwell, The Barbarian, Chris Benoit, Bobby Blaze, Booker T, Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, Barry Darsow, Disco Inferno, Jim Duggan, Fit Finlay, Héctor Garza, The Giant, Glacier, Johnny Grunge, Juventud Guerrera, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., Eddy Guerrero, Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, Prince Iaukea, Chris Jericho, Lizmark, Jr., Lex Luger
Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Meng, Ernest Miller, Rey Misterio, Jr., Hugh Morrus, Mortis, Yuji Nagata, John Nord, Diamond Dallas Page, La Parka, Stevie Ray, Lord Steve Regal, The Renegade, Rocco Rock, Randy Savage, Silver King, Norman Smiley, Louie Spicolli, Rick Steiner, Scott Steiner, Super Calo, Squire David Taylor, Ray Traylor, Último Dragón, Greg Valentine, Villaño IV, Villaño V, Vincent, Kendall Windham, Wrath and Alex Wright
What you might notice is that there are only 59 names there, so yes it’s time for shenanigans. As far as people you might not know, the only one that pops off the page to me is John Nord, who is more famous as the Berzerker. The introductions are odd as they say the wrestlers can go from ring to ring. What sense does that make?? Also once we get down to five people per ring we go to the middle. So if they get down to five in a ring and the other rings aren’t yet we just stop? See why this match tended to suck? The rules rarely made sense. Just have a freaking battle royal. How hard is that to accomplish?
As usual the entrances take about 5 minutes. They seem to be a bit faster this year though, mainly due to some people coming out in groups. The Giant is the defending champion and has a broken hand here. There’s an NWO member missing let the confusion begin. The missing one is apparently Kevin Nash who might be out with a knee injury.
The bell rings and we immediately go split screen, meaning YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!!! WCW didn’t get this through their heads until the final year when they just didn’t film everything in every ring, like the intelligent people would suggest. Let’s get this over with. Lizmark Jr. and Disco Inferno plus anyone else Giant touches are gone. He must have gotten four people at a time. Louie Spicolli and a Villano are out.
La Parka is out. Expect a lot of “so and so” is out, just like Norman Smiley. Public Enemy goes after Meng and Grunge is put out. Ring 2, the Giant’s ring, is emptying quickly. DDP just walks into another ring. Scott Hall puts out El Dandy. I guess Hall didn’t doubt him. The NWO is in ring 1. Bobby Blaze is gone. Ring 2 has like 30 people in it. Or is that 3? The announcers say 2 and the graphic says 3. Whatever man. It’s in the middle.
Graphic now says 2. Flair isn’t here either apparently. Who replaced him I wonder since they made it clear he was an entrant during his match. Stevie Ray hangs on with a rake to the eyes. We’ve more or less stopped checking the other rings. Brad Armstrong is gone. Silver King is gone. Damien, a luchador, is thrown out. DDP and Wrath go at it but Wrath hangs on.
DDP tosses Prince Iaukea. Nagata is out so the match is less boring now. Wrath and Renegade are gone and fight up the aisle. No idea how many people are left at the moment. Ring 1 is rather empty now with maybe 7 people left and all of the NWO in still. Jericho is out. Hall winds up hanging on by one hand but the NWO runs in for the save to keep him in.
Greg Valentine is gone. Giant’s hand is killing him so Mortis and Duggan double team him. The people keep switching rings so you can’t tell who is where and who is left as you think they’re eliminated but they’re in a different ring. Most annoying indeed. Ring 3 is mostly empty now while ring 1 is a lot more full now. Harlem Heat beats on Chris Adams. Adams is gone but tries to sneak back in ala his most famous student: Steve Austin.
Ray Traylor (Big Boss Man) chokes Savage as Finlay is gone. Page and Benoit fight to the apron but both get back in. We’re roughly halfway done here as Dave Taylor is gone. Page and Malenko put I think Benoit out. Yep that was him. Miller puts Malenko out. Ring 3 seems to have Meng, Giant, Alex Wright and Mortis. Duggan is out to some booing. Miller is gone.
Leave it to the WCW cameras to focus on Giant’s hand. That’s all you see in the entire ring. Barbarian goes out and McMichael is also in ring 3. Rey puts Eddie out and gets ganged up on by the NWO who finally gets him out. Traylor is gone as is Darsow. Wait Mysterio pulled a John Morrison/Shawn Michaels and is hanging on to the apron! Mongo is out as are Wright and Mortis. Giant and Meng are the only ones left in that ring. Luger, Harlem Heat, DDP and Rick Steiner are in another ring and the NWO remain in the other.
Stevie Ray is out so we have ten left I think. Giant DROPKICKS Meng out. That was incredible and he wins the ring. Ok so it’s Vincent, Hall, Savage, Bagwell, Hennig, DDP, Rick Steiner, Luger and Booker T. The NWO won’t change rings and say come over here. They beat up the referee who says go to the other ring. Giant chills in the ring while the other four change to the NWO ring.
Ah there’s Giant so they’re all in the ring closest to the entrance because clearly the most fans can see them there right? Diamond Cutter to Vincent and a HUGE pop. Giant rolls Vincent out to get our first NWO guy out. Booker is out via someone we didn’t see as is Rick Steiner. Bagwell talks to the camera so Giant rams Bagwell and Savage’s heads together.
Luger hammers on Hennig on the second rope and doesn’t get tossed. Luger wakes up and hammers on people but gets jumped by the NWO. Giant comes over and puts out Bagwell, Hennig and Luger, leaving us with Savage, Giant, Hall and DDP. There’s a decent midcard tag match in there somewhere. Savage fights Page while Hall gets beaten up by the Giant. Giant slams Hall instead of throwing him out.
Savage wants an elbow to DDP but Giant stands in front of him. Savage, the crazy man that he is, jumps anyway and gets caught. He doesn’t get tossed though but takes a Diamond Cutter. Giant won’t let him get tossed though because he wants to chokeslam him. Savage is more or less dead and is tossed with ease to get us to three. The next year it would be the same three but with Nash instead of Giant.
More or less it’s a handicap match with Hall vs. Giant/DDP. Hall heads to another ring which is pretty smart actually. He does the point and here comes….no one as the NWO music starts and ends. Hogan’s music kicks on and is here now instead. So apparently Hogan, the WORLD CHAMPION, is #60, being allowed to skip 25 minutes of the match to potentially win a title shot against….himself? There are 7 minutes left so let’s just go with it.
We get a tag match now with Hogan fighting Giant and Hall vs. DDP. Ok so during Hogan’s two minute or so long intro, did Giant and DDP just stand there instead of going after Hall? Six minutes left so I don’t particularly care here. The fans want Sting as the NWO starts dominating. Hogan slams Giant to a big pop. Hall is sat on the top rope by Giant as DDP is crotched on the top rope.
Bear hug to Hall as Sting rappels from the ceiling, somehow about 10 inches taller and with darker hair. Hogan eliminates himself to run from Not-Sting and Not-Sting hits Giant with the bat to eliminate him as I guess DDP went out somewhere. Not-Sting points the bat at Hall as the fans chant Nash, having basic intelligence. The NWO celebrates to end this stupid, stupid match. Hogan gives DDP a Diamond Cutter to take us to the credits. Yes WCW had credits.
Rating: F+. Where do I even begin? Awful in every sense of the word with nothing making sense and the whole thing being a disaster. The switching of the rings thing made it virtually impossible to know who was where. The ending was just idiotic as Hogan apparently can just walk into a match he’s not a part of and has no business being involved in as he’s competing for a shot at something he already has. Nash made things look stupid and the whole thing was just a mess from start to finish. Also the triple camera didn’t help either.
Overall Rating: D-. Just a terribly dull show with nothing going on at all that was worth seeing. Rey vs. Eddie is good but it’s got nothing on the previous match they had at the last show. This was a very boring show overall as it was clear that Starrcade was all set in stone already. Not a good show in any sense of the word and boring beyond belief. BIG pass here.
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Monday Nitro #113
Date: November 10, 1997
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko
We’ve got two shows left before World War 3 which means we can get down to the really interesting stuff with the Starrcade build up. Tonight we’re following up on the end of last week’s show with Flair vs. Luger in the main event. Also the entire NWO is supposed to be here tonight for a big surprise, whatever that may be. Let’s get to it.
Here’s the NWO to open the show complete with Hogan, Bischoff, and a bunch of Canadian flags. Bischoff says that it’s tiem for the return of the real giant and here’s Kevin Nash back from injury. Granted he’s in a wheelchair with one of the new WCW Tag Title belts but he’s here. Nash pops out of the chair to get in the ring for a hug with Hall. He does the Lou Gehrig luckiest man line, complete with his own echos. Kevin says that he’ll fight Giant but not for free of course. If Giant wants a match, it’s on Nash’s terms, which means in World War 3.
Bischoff talks about getting to spend a billionaire’s money and mentions the name Bret Hart. He references Bret punching out Vince backstage at Survivor Series which means he passed the initiation. Liz leads the NWO in a chorus of O Canada as the announcers panic about Bret joining the villains.
Post break and the announcers are still panicking, with Tony slipping in a good line about Bret not being a quitter.
Gene thinks Bret might have joined the NWO and has a source saying Bret pummeled a promoter backstage.
Harlem Heat vs. Steven Regal/Dave Taylor
Regal goes after Booker’s arm to start, only to be backdropped and kicked down. Taylor tries to come in as well and gets a kick of his own for good measure. Dave comes in legally now as does Ray, with the Squire (Taylor in case you’re not up to date on your Blue Bloods history) getting in some solid shots, only to be run over by pure power.
Back to Booker vs. Regal but Regal gives us some villainous double teaming to take T down. Everything breaks down with Ray using his power to beat everyoe up. Booker misses the Harlem Hangover to Regal and rolls to the floor, allowing Taylor to hit a butterfly suplex on Ray for the upset pin. Short match but man was that a surprise win.
The Nitro Girls dance a bit.
Disco Inferno vs. Chris Jericho
It’s a brawl to start with Disco having his jacket pulled over his own head so Jericho can pound away. Disco comes back with some right hands including one to break up a sunset flip attempt. The Flock is here as Inferno blocks an O’Connor Roll and dances a bit. Jericho comes back with the butterfly backbreaker followed by the Liontamer for the quick submission. Disco gets a title rematch at World War 3.
As Disco leaves, Kidman throws a drink in his face, starting a brawl. Scotty Riggs comes out to try for a save but can’t bring himself to hit Raven. They stare each other down and Riggs backs away.
Glacier vs. Barbarian
Did they just throw darts at a roster list to come up with this one? A quick shoulder puts Glacier down but he nips back up and pounds away in the corner. Barbarian is put on the mat by a leg trip and Glacier fires off more kicks. Jimmy Hart, Memphis’ own of course, comes out to cheer on Barbarian as they head to the floor.
Barbie counters a whip into the steps to slow Glacier down a lot before we head back inside for an atomic drop. Glacier comes back with a semi-botched belly to belly, but after knocking Jimmy off the apron, he walks into a big shot from the monster. Barbarian goes up and jumps into the Cryonic Kick (superkick) for the pin.
Rating: D. Again, why in the world did this match warrant inclusion on Nitro? Glacier was long past a lost cause at this point and Barbarian is Barbarian, so why did this match happen? At times Nitro would just throw something like this out there and it never made a lot of sense. Maybe there was a guaranteed number of dates or something for these guys. Either way, nothing to see here as you would expect from this combination.
Post match Meng comes out and puts Glacier in the Tongan Death Grip until Jimmy breaks it up.
World War 3 ad.
Here are Raven and Saturn to interrupt the start of the next match. Raven apologizes to Riggs for the damage done to the eye. He goes on to whine about being abused as a child, but now all of the freaks and misfits have come forth to stand beside him. A large man with a nipple ring gets in behind Raven. That would be formerly awesome Heavy Metal Van Hammer.
Video on Goldberg vs. Mongo. Get to Starrcade already so we can drop this.
Yuji Nagata vs. Alex Wright
Feeling out process to start with the fans chanting gay slurs at Wright. Yuji sends him to the floor but walks into a clothesline and some chops for his efforts. Nagata’s back is rammed into the apron and we go back inside, only to have Wright take WAY too much time to go up top. Yuji crotches him down and hits a superplex, only to charge into a boot a few seconds later.
Alex goes up for a top rope knee to the ribs before it’s DANCE TIME! Nagata whips him into the corner but walks into a belly to back suplex for two. As this is going on, Sonny Onoo goes over to Debra with money and tries to kiss her, apparently thinking she’s a prostitute. That earns him a slap and the distraction lets Yuji hook the Nagata Lock for the tap out.
Rating: D+. This was one of Nagata’s better matches from WCW but there’s still no interest for it whatsoever. The Sonny/Debra stuff could be interesting, but at the end of the day there’s no reason to care about either of these guys. Wright and Debra never fit as a pairing and thankfully they would be split up soon after this.
Here are a ticked off Hogan and Bischoff with the latter carrying something in his hand. Eric says cut the music because someone has broken into his dressing room. The paper is a movie poster for an art house comedy featuring none other than Sting in no makeup. Bischoff goes on a rant about how Sting is invading Hollywood and Hogan challenges Sting to a fight right now. Since Sting doesn’t come out they leave, having completed their plug for the man they hate. Also, good to see Sting can leave the rafters to make a movie (let alone take a call from a producer) but can’t have a match for a year.
Hour #2 has started so Heenan gets his chance to worry about Bret joining the NWO.
TV Title: Saturn vs. Chris Benoit
Saturn jumps him in the aisle to start and throws him inside for a pumphandle suplex. Tenay talks about a Toughman division which would be no holds barred all the time. Benoit comes back with some chops and a belly to back suplex to take over. We get a very odd ending as Benoit tries a sunset flip in the corner but Saturn sits down on him and grabs the rope for the pin. I say odd because it takes like 10 seconds for Patrick to call for the bell, Benoit kept going like it was a two count, and the match was barely two minutes long. Tony sounds more confused than usual.
The Flock runs in and Benoit puts Saturn in the Crossface but here’s Fit Finlay to beat up Benoit with a tombstone.
Nitro Girls do their thing.
Here’s Flair to say that Luger is just a roadblock on his way to Hennig. Flair is going to snap Hennig’s neck and then go for the rest of the NWO. He’s also going to win the world title and party with the Nitro Girls.
Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
Eddie is challenging here and dropkicks Rey as soon as he comes in. Tony of course ignores it because he needs to talk about the battle royal for the fourth match in a row. Guerrero stomps away and lands on his feet to avoid a monkey flip. A second attempt works for Mysterio and a dropkick sends Eddie to the floor. Rey follows it up with a headscissors to send Eddie into the barricade.
Back inside and the champion comes in off the top, only to be superplexed down for two. Rey comes back with a quick springboard version of West Coast Pop for two. The move which would become known as the Lionsault gets two and it’s off to a headscissors on the mat on Guerrero. A split legged moonsault hits knees and Eddie hits a dropkick in the back of the head for no cover. Eddie’s powerbomb is countered into a DDT by Mysterio and both guys are down. Rey loads up the West Coast Pop but Eddie drops back into a Stun Gun, setting up the Frog Splash to give Eddie the title back.
Rating: C+. Did you expect something bad here? It wasn’t even six minutes long so it wasn’t to hit the level of their previous match but it wasn’t bad for the most part. This is one of those matches which is going to be good no matter what they do though, so seeing it on here is an upgrade over most of what we’ve seen so far.
Dean comes out and stares down Eddie but doesn’t do anything more.
Video of a Nitro Party with some college aged guys.
Randy Savage vs. Ray Traylor
Traylor chases him to the floor to start and sends Savage into the barricade. Savage tries to leave up the aisle but gets sent into the steps and back into the ring. Scratch that actually as Savage bails back to the floor, only to be cracked in the back by a chair. They go inside again and a big boot puts Savage down but he comes back with a rake to the eyes. A spinebuster puts Randy right back down as does a big right hand. Another uppercut looks to set up a top rope splash but Liz crotches him down to give Savage a breather. Savage slams him down and hits the elbow (his only two moves of the match) for the pin.
Rating: C. This was surprisingly entertaining as Traylor was moving very well out there. This was another part of him going after the NWO, only to lose again. At least it’s to someone who matters like Savage as opposed to Norton or someone like that. This was like back in 1995 with him only hitting a move or two to win.
Savage drops two more elbows for good measure which apparently changes the decision.
More Nitro Girls.
US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Page wins a quick lockup to start but Hennig hiptosses him down onto the bad ribs. Off to a headlock by DDP followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The Diamond Cutter is escaped though as Hennig bails to the floor. Back in and he suckers Page into a slingshot into the middle buckle to shift momentum.
A few hard shots to Page’s ribs have him in trouble, as does a headbutt to the very lower abdomen. There’s an abdominal stretch but Hennig gets caught cheating, forcing the break. Hennig misses a kick to the ribs and Page pounds away for his comeback. After the Pancake, Curt has to block the Diamond Cutter with a jawbreaker. A belt shot to Page’s ribs draws the DQ.
Rating: D+. Really uninspired stuff here as it was about seven minutes of punching and kicking for the most part. Page was still incredibly over though and the Cutter attempts got some of the loudest reactions of the night. It wasn’t much of a match though which is the problem with a lot of the action tonight.
Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger
Flair is immediately tossed around and charges into a shoulder to put him right back down again. There’s the gorilla press from Luger and a clothesline to put Flair on the floor. It’s 1988 all over again. Flair’s chops are no sold both in and out of the ring so Ric goes to the eyes like a good villain and clips the knee for good measure. After some hard kicks to the leg it’s an early Figure Four but Luger turns it over almost immediately and grabs a rope.
After a quick argument with Randy Anderson, Flair goes right back to the knee and tries to suplex Luger to the floor. That goes as well as you would expect with Flair crashing down onto the mat from Luger’s countered suplex. Another chop is completely no sold and Luger gorilla presses him down again before showing off the muscles. We get the Flair Flip in the corner and as always, Flair runs down the apron and goes up, only to get caught coming down. A superplex and powerslam look to set up the Rack but Hennig runs in for the DQ.
Rating: C+. Oh come on it’s Flair vs. Luger. They can have a good match based on muscle memory alone given how many times they did this same match back in the 80s. That being said, the formula still works and they didn’t need to switch anything up here. This was of course the condensed eight minute version instead of the thirty five minute one they were capable of, but that’s what TV does for you.
Post match Hennig and Flair brawl up the aisle.
Here are Hogan and Bischoff to close the show in their third appearance of the night. They talk trash about Sting and here he comes. Hogan of course panics but stands there for the staredown. Sting, ever the idiot, throws down the bat. Savage comes in for a distraction and after a year of tormenting the NWO, ONE SHOT from Hogan drops Sting to start the big beatdown. Hogan drops some legs to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well you knew Hogan’s ego wasn’t going to let him get scared off forever. It’s not a big problem but the one shot was kind of stupid. What was a big problem though was how lame most of the show was. The matches weren’t great and the ones that were decent were only ok at best. They’re clearly on cruise control because they know Hogan vs. Sting will make a fortune. Not their best episode but the big drama stuff is coming, with Bret Hart being a big point.
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