Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Given how this year’s (2013) Wrestlemania is more or less a sequel to last year’s, this is an appropriate show to get to. This is more or less the followup to Wrestlemania IV as Savage has snapped on Hogan, claiming that Hulk is jealous of the title and all that jazz. That’s really all you need to know about this show as it’s the only match that means anything at all. Let’s get to it.

Rockin Robin, the reigning Women’s Champion, sings America the Beautiful.

Hercules vs. King Haku

The crown isn’t on the line here. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Herc comes back with a hip toss and a slam followed by a release flapjack. A clothesline puts Haku on the floor but Hercules suplexes him right back in. Some elbow drops keep Haku down but Hercules goes after Heenan like an idiot. Haku jumps him from behind and we head back inside for a pair of backbreakers for a pair of counts.

Since this is a power match we hit the bearhug as even Jesse says this isn’t going to get a submission. Gorilla criticizes Haku’s technique, prompting Jesse to ask what a gorilla would know about bearhugging. Herc breaks the hold and the King yells at the referee, only to get caught by a cross body. Hercules pounds away and hits a running knee lift followed by some clotheslines. A powerslam gets two but Hercules jumps off the top into most of a superkick. Haku misses a top rope headbutt and Hercules wins with the belly to back suplex with a last second shoulder raise.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was a basic enough match to get things going. Hercules was a generic power guy so there wasn’t much to get interested in with him. Haku would join up with Andre to win the tag titles by the end of the year. I’m not sure if there was much of a feud here other than Hercules vs. Heenan which was only touched on.

The Rockers say they can handle the Twin Towers.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

Ted DiBiase talks about hanging out with Donald Trump and having them here to see him beat up Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

This isn’t for the Million Dollar Title which ticks Gorilla off. Brutus has his AWESOME music at this point. Beefcake jumps DiBiase to start to tick off Jesse as well. Ted bails to the floor and comes back in for some chops, only to be knocked right back to the floor by a right hand. Back in again and Brutus wins a slugout but Vigril trips him up to give DiBiase his first control.

DiBiase pounds away (there’s a lot of punching in this match) and hits the falling punch for two. I love that move. A middle rope ax handle puts Brutus down again but Beefcake reverses a suplex to put DiBiase down right next to him. A double clothesline does the exact same thing but Ted is up first. He tries another suplex which actually works this time, followed by the Million Dollar Dream.

Brutus gets to the rope so they slug it out some more with the barber taking over. Now Beefcake throws on his own sleeper but gets sent out to the floor in a counter. Virgil interferes a bit to distract Beefcake but DiBiase stupidly goes out to the floor as well. They brawl to a double countout to a big boo from the crowd.

Rating: C-. This was mainly a punching match as well as a pretty big fall for DiBiase. To go from the main event to the third match on the card in a year is a pretty big fall, which is saying a lot as DiBiase was still a very evil heel. Brutus was getting very popular very fast and would be paired with Hogan soon after this for a BIG rub.

Brutus beats up Virgil post match and chases them off with the hedge clippers. You know, assault with a deadly weapon as Jesse calls it.

We go to the Wrestlemania brunch with the Bushwhackers eating a lot and trying to talk about their match with the Rougeaus.

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

ALL AMERICAN BOYS BABY! That would be the Rougeau’s theme song and one of the most awesome entrances in company history. Seriously, go Youtube that thing. Jimmy Hart loses his jacket somehow but the Rougeaus save it in a humane act. Not that it matters as the Bushwhackers clear the ring a second later. Luke and Ray start things off and Ray quickly takes him down. I turn my head for a minute and come back to hearing Jesse say “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” Like I said, commentary was a bit different back then.

Luke and Butch clear the ring of Rougeaus again before it’s down to Luke and Jacques. Butch tries to interfere for no apparent reason and Luke gets caught in a Boston Crab. In a sequence that has haunted me for years, Ray loads up Luke for a slam and while Luke is upside down, he rubs Ray’s crotch. There’s nothing more to it than that and to this day I don’t know why he did that.

Anyway Ray puts on an abdominal stretch as a fan or two chants USA. In theory that would be for the Rougeaus here who are the All American Boys facing the guys from New Zealand. The Rougeaus prematurely hug and get caught by the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster is good for the pin on Ray out of nowhere.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match and not a very fun one. This is called a big upset but I don’t really see how you can call it that. It’s not like either team is great or even good here and the Bushwhackers were still brand new here, so presumably they had won most of their matches up to this point. I don’t get it but whatever.

Sean Mooney is licked by the Bushwhackers and says words can’t describe it. As someone who has been licked by one as well, that’s very true.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

That would be Owen Hart in a kind of superhero gimmick that eventually led to his death. Perfect is pretty new here too and I believe is debuting his singlet look. Hennig hits a quick hiptoss that doesn’t do much at all. Blazer blocks a slap and takes Perfect down to stagger Hennig a bit.

They slightly botch a flip out of a hiptoss and Blazer dropkicks Perfect to the floor. Blazer hits a quick hiptoss (why is that so popular here?) of his own and a dropkick for no cover. A modified northern lights suplex gets two for Blue but a top rope splash hits knees. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments by Perfect but Blazer fights up and hits a standing powerslam and a belly to belly for two each. A crucifix gets two more but Blazer spends too long arguing with the referee and the PerfectPlex ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This match is popular for some reason but it’s only pretty good. Owen would get to show off a lot better later on and the Blazer gimmick didn’t stick around that long. The ending here was clean too which is what Perfect would get quite often around this time. He wouldn’t really do anything of note for about a year though until having a house show feud with Hogan.

Jesse is presented to the crowd again like last year.

Mr. Fuji allegedly runs a 5K run in a tuxedo.

To really make this show feel bloated, here’s Run DMC with the Wrestlemania Rap.

We recap the double tag team turn at Survivor Series 1988 with Fuji leaving Demolition to hook up with the Powers of Pain.

Demolition says they’re ready for Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending and this is a handicap match. Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax pounding him down quickly. Smash comes in for a double beatdown and it’s off to a neck crank. Back to Ax for the same move and he yells at Fuji a bit. The Demolition beatdown ensues but Warlord powers Ax over to the corner for a tag to Barbarian. He shoves Smash into the corner and is immediately clotheslined down by a fresh Ax. The crowd is dead here.

Barbie gets double teamed by the champions and Ax hooks a neck crank. Back to Smash who gets chopped down before it’s back to Warlord. The advantage lasts for all of three seconds before the Powers finally get some successful cheating going on. Off to Fuji for the first time for some old man offense that is far better than Heenan or Hart at least. Barbarian comes in again and the yet to be named Kick of Fear puts Ax down again for no cover.

The match continues to stay in second gear at best with both teams barely moving at all. Fuji tries the flashiest move of the match by going up top, only to miss Ax. Gorilla: “He hasn’t wrestled in years, just like us.” Jesse: “Us? For Fuji and I it’s been years. For you many years.” Barbarian gets clotheslined down again and it’s off to Smash as everything breaks down. Fuji loads up his salt but hits Warlord by mistake. The Demolition Decapitator is enough to end Fuji and retain the titles.

Rating: D. I’m a fan of Demolition but this was a REALLY weak performance by both teams. The Powers would split soon after this which was the best idea for both guys as they were never going to break through the ceiling with Demolition on top. The title reign would continue to go on for another two months or so, reaching at nearly a year and a half.

Randy Savage has nothing to say other than he’s ready for Hogan.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

For absolutely no apparent reason, Jimmy Snuka is brought out after the wrestlers’ intros. Bravo jumps him from behind to open the match before it’s off to a bearhug. That goes about three seconds do Dino loads up a powerbomb instead. Garvin escapes and starts a flurry of offense and gets two off a jackknife cover. A sleeper is easily broken up by Bravo and he breaks up a piledriver as well. Garvin tries to pound away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop and the side suplex for the pin by Bravo.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything to get the crowd going which is a big problem with this show: the crowd doesn’t care about most of this stuff and why in the world would they? This is a random match between two guys that have no reason to fight and have no future as a main talent. Nothing to see here at all.

Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, gets beaten down by Garvin post match just because.

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

This is the return of Strike Force after Martel had a bad injury. Blanchard and Martel start things off and Rick almost immediately has to punch out of the wrong corner. Off to Anderson who gets rammed face first into the mat before being put in his own test of strength on the mat. Arn catches Martel in a body scissors but Rick turns it over into his signature Boston Crab.

Blanchard makes the save but Tito immediately comes in to put him in the Figure Four. Martel puts one on Anderson as well as things break down. We get some near falls by Tito but he accidentally hits the forearm on Martel to take him out. Rick gets ticked off as Tito is basically in a handicap match. The Busters get to take over on Tito but you know Santana can hang with either guy.

Arn goes up but gets slammed down, allowing Tito to set up a hot tag to….no one. Martel drops down to the floor and walks out on his partner, officially making it a handicap match. The yet to be named spinebuster from Anderson plants Tito and it’s back to Blanchard. Tully blocks a monkey flip and the spike piledriver kills Tito dead for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far as all four guys were moving out there. Tito could go with the best of them and he had some of the best of them to do that with in this one. Martel and Santana would feud on and off for about a year until they just stopped fighting out of nowhere.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Tito and that’s that.

It’s time for the return of Roddy Piper in Piper’s Pit, but after a long introduction by Fink, we get Brother Love in a kilt instead. You younguns might know him as Bruce Prichard from Gut Check. Love interviews “himself” and does one heck of a Roddy Piper impression in the process. Morton Downey Jr., a kind of forefather to Jerry Springer, is the actual guest. He runs to the ring and immediately lights up a cigarette and gay jokes abound about Love.

Now the real Piper comes out to make fun of Love for being feminine. Roddy won’t let Love answer any questions by saying he doesn’t really want to know that badly. Morton is on his fifth cigarette or so at this point. This goes on FOREVER until Love says he’s a bit Scotch. You know, as in from Scotland. Piper rips off Love’s kilt and the Brother sprints off. Finally we get to Downey who implies he slept with Piper’s mom.

Morton keeps blowing smoke in Piper’s face as Piper makes fun of Downey for having warts on his face. Piper gets annoyed with the smoke and Downey calls him a transvestite. Roddy asks for a smoke of his own and sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This took FIFTEEN MINUTES, as in longer than all but the main event tonight.

We get an ad for No Holds Barred, Hogan’s acting debut.

Donald Trump likes hosting Wrestlemania.

Ventura goes into a hilarious rant against Hogan for invading Hollywood because Hogan needs a job after Savage beats him tonight. Jesse shouts that Hulk can drive his limo and storms off.

We recap the Megapowers feud as intermission continues. Basically Savage won the title at Mania 4 then teamed up with Hogan. Hogan kept getting the pins and finally at Main Event II, Savage accidentally wiped out Elizabeth. Hogan took Liz to the back to get attention but it left Savage alone. Finally Savage slapped Hogan and turned heel again, leading to the heel promo of a lifetime as he ERUPTED on Hogan, letting out every bit of his pent up rage and jealousy before blasting Hogan with the title in the medical room.

Hogan says it was Savage eaten alive by the jealousy and the title is coming home tonight. This somehow turns into a talk about destroying the Trump Plaza, which I think he touched on last year too.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is referee and comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music. This was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd but Studd left before it went anywhere. Sometime before the match, Andre and Heenan get the turnbuckle pad off and Jake goes face first into the steel. Ventura and Gorilla talk about David vs. Goliath (Jesse: “He used a foreign object.”) as Jake reaches for the snake bag. That goes nowhere so Studd crushes him in the corner.

Andre looks so different than he did two years ago. In Detroit he looked like a killing machine but here he looks like a lumbering oaf. Giant steps on Jake a few times but Roberts comes back with some strikes. He knocks Andre into the ropes and chokes away, only to see Andre get his arm loose and choke Jake right back.

In a moment that I’ve never seen explained, Andre fires some shoulders into Jake in the corner, only to stagger backwards. I’m guessing Jake was supposed to knee him (the announcers suggested he did) but Jake’s legs never moved. Either way, Roberts pounds away a bit before being knocked to the floor. Studd and Andre get in a shoving match as Ted DiBiase runs out to steal the snake. Andre chokes Studd until Jake chases DiBiase down and gets the snake back. He slides Damien in and the giant runs from the smaller referee giant, giving Jake the DQ win.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match that didn’t go anywhere here as it was hard to buy Jake as being a threat to Andre while at the same time it was hard to be intimidated by the Giant due to how old and banged up he was. Nothing match here which was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd, but instead Studd retired so Andre got a tag title reign instead.

Sensational Sherri wants to fight Rockin Robin and hopes Liz gets hurt today.

Greg Valentine/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hart Foundation

Valentine and Honky aren’t Rhythm and Blues yet. Bret and Honky start and it’s atomic drops all around. Honky sells his hilariously but Greg plays it a bit more serious. Off to Anvil for some power but Bret misses the middle rope elbow. The beating begins and you know Hart is going to sell things very well. Valentine gets to pound away as Gorilla says Greg isn’t warmed up yet.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll but tags in Valentine for the Figure Four instead. Greg gets rolled up for two instead as Gorilla goes NUTS complaining about Honky not covering. The hot tag brings in Anvil again to clean house on both heels. A great clothesline gets two on the Hammer before it’s back to Bret for the middle rope elbow. Everything breaks down and Bret gets Jimmy Hart’s megaphon to drill Honky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Enough filler matches already! This is probably the fourth match out of ten so far that have been there with no particular reason for it to happen. The show is already well over two and a half hours now and there are still four matches to go. That’s one of the problems with the late 80s: they made the shows long for the sake of having them be long.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior which is basically just because Rude attacked Warrior at the Rumble Super Posedown and the champion wants revenge.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior is defending but Rude has the belt imprinted on his tights. Rude tries a knee to the ribs but hits the belt by mistake. Warrior immediately takes over with the power game and LAUNCHES Rude into the corner. The champ throws on a bearhug for a bit until Rude finally pokes him in the eyes to escape. Rude busts out a MISSILE DROPKICK for two but gets launched off Warrion on the kickout.

Back to the hearhug but Rude gets out the same way as he did the first time. Warrior responds by biting Rude in the face but the splash hits knees. A piledriver puts Warrior down but Rick can’t immediately cover. It only gets two but the kickout is much weaker than earlier. Rude tries to swivel his hips but his back is too messed up. He cranks back on Warrior’s arms but the champion gets to the ropes and starts shaking away.

Here come the shoulders from Warrior and he plants Rude face first into the mat a few times. Warrior tries a slam or something but drops Rude and almost puts him on the floor. Rude gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Warrior but the Rude Awakening is broken through pure power. Rick is clotheslined to the floor and Warrior suplexes him back in, only to have Heenan trip Warrior up and hold down his foot for the shocking upset and the title to Rude. This might have been Warrior’s first televised loss but I don’t think it was.

Rating: B. This is one of those pairings that just worked no matter what you had them do. You often hear about people having chemistry and that’s what you had here: these two could just work well together for no apparent reason and this is a fine example. Warrior would get the title back later in the year before moving to the world title scene a few months later. Good match here.

Warrior beats up Heenan post match. Remember that for later.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

This show MUST continue! Again no reason to this match and they’re just fighting to fill in another five minutes on this already WAY too long card. They punch each other a lot and Duggan knocks him to the floor. Brown comes back in with his judo stuff but misses the Ghetto Blaster (running enziguri). Bad News gets annoyed and goes to the floor for a chair but Duggan hits it with the board for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. This is the twelfth match on this show and we’re over three hours and three minutes into it already. There is no reason at all for this to be continuing but it is anyway just because. Duggan would go on to feud with whoever he could find as would Brown, showing why this match didn’t need to happen at all.

Red Rooster says he’ll beat Heenan and it’ll be a great day in the barnyard.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.

Just to drag this out EVEN LONGER, the Brawler beats the Rooster up, because WE HAVE TO PUSH BROOKLN FREAKING BRAWLER.

Liz says she’ll be in a neutral corner tonight and won’t cheer for either guy in the main event.

Tony Schiavone and Sean Mooney fill in even MORE time.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

This is huge and Savage is on fire here. As I said Liz is in a neutral corner despite never being Hogan’s manager as a singles guy ever. Savage comes out first for no apparent reason. Savage immediately heads to the floor to stall as you would expect him to do. The fans HATE him at this point after loving him like crazy a year earlier. Hogan finally shoves Savage down and it’s time to stall some more.

Back up and Hogan shoulders him down again for the third trip to the floor for Savage. As Jesse and Gorilla get in an argument over the value of managers, Savage grabs a headlock. Hulk shoves him off and Randy heads outside, only to hide behind Liz in a truly evil move. Back in again and Hogan actually uses a nice amateur move and hooks a front facelock. That wasn’t bad at all. Savage powers out of it (surprising as well) and pokes Hogan in the eye to take over.

A top rope ax handle gets one on Hogan and it’s off to an armbar. In something you don’t often see, Hogan is pulled down to the mat by his hair. It feels weird even typing that. Hulk uses a handful of trunks to launch Randy out to the floor and Jesse freaks out. Back in and a clothesline puts Randy down, followed by a series of elbow drops. Hulk is bleeding above the eye.

Randy gets in a shot to the face and puts on a fast sleeper which is transitioned into a chinlock. Hulk comes back with an atomic drop but an elbow drop misses. A shot into the buckle sets up a rollup with trunks for two on Hulk. Savage stomps on his fingers which ticks Hogan off. Hogan slams Savage to the floor where the champion doesn’t want Liz’s help. Hulk follows him out and rams Randy’s face into the barricade.

Savage escapes being posted and sends Hogan in by mistake. After sending Hulk back in, Randy yells at Liz a bit more and shoves her up the aisle. The referee ejects Liz, making the only interesting factor a nonfactor. Back to the floor and Savage drops the ax handle off the top to send Hogan throat first into the barricade. Savage goes after the throat with various evil measures but the elbow only gets two. Hulk Up, big boot, leg drop, new champion.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan vs. Savage so these two are always going to have at least a watchable match, but at the end of the day this was pretty much designed to be a Hogan win and that’s what it wound up being. The smart move would be to have Savage keep the title by DQ or something, causing Hulk to chase the title until Summerslam for the title change. But instead we go with the easy (and not horrible) ending. It’s a good match here but not great.

Hogan celebrates forever to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty terrible. The main words you probably heard me say in here were things like “it keeps going” or “filler”. That’s the problem with this show: there’s WAY too much stuff going on with 14 matches, that stupid rap, and the fifteen minute Piper segment. This show runs nearly three hours and forty minutes which is WAY too much for a single show given what they had going on at this point. Probably five matches at minimum could be called filler here. That’s WAY too much and I can see why this is considered such a lame show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

Redo: D

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

Redo: D-

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wow that was a rather boring redo.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: March 13, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

We have a #1 contender now with O’Brian winning the triple threat last week. On top of that we had a lot of storyline development as Bo Dallas seems to be going to war against the Wyatt Family. Last week was all about setting up the future shows which should make for some entertaining TV today. Let’s get to it.

Kassius Ohno vs. Derrick Bateman

Regal on Bateman: “If brains were elastic he wouldn’t have enough to make a frog’s jockstrap.” Bateman quickly takes him down with an armdrag before hooking an armbar. Apparently Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo are here tonight. Bateman chops away as Regal is very focued on Ohno here. This is Derrick’s return from a knee injury. Ohno is sent into the corner and slammed down for two. Almost all Bateman in the early going.

Kassius is sent to the apron where he hits a cravate Stunner onto the top rope. A running boot to Bateman’s jaw puts him down and Ohno drops a pair of sentons for two. Back to the cravate on Bateman but Derrick makes his comeback with some clotheslines and shots to the face. He loads up the falling bulldog but Ohno shoves him off because it’s too stupid of a move to sell. Kassius kicks him in the face for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Neither of these guys are anything of note and the fans weren’t impressed either. Bateman is back from an injury but this everyman gimmick does nothing for me. I still don’t get the appeal of Ohno, at least not in this gimmick. As best I can tell he’s supposed to be a ruthless striker but his signature move is a cravate. His character isn’t working for me and doesn’t seem to be for the crowd either.

Post match Ohno puts Bateman in an STF with a cravate headlock until Regal makes the save. These two need to fight already.

Bo Dallas says Bray Wyatt has his attention after Wyatt cost him both the tag team and NXT Titles.

Regal apologizes for what he did.

Emma vs. Summer Rae

Emma is the bad dancing klutz. A quick rollup gets two for Emma and Rae is frustrated. Wait, dance time. Rae is knocked into the corner for a cross body but she comes back with a snapmare to send Emma’s leg into the ropes. We’re told it’s Dallas vs. Wyatt later tonight as Summer stays on the leg. Summer goes VERY old school with an Indian Deathlock (the version with both girls on their backs) before choking Emma with her long legs. Back up and a dropkick puts Emma down before Rae does Paige’s scream. Emma comes back with a clothesline for two, only to be caught by a bad spinwheel kick to give Rae the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Summer looks good in the outfits and has a lot of Maryse in her with the blonde bombshell look, but her stuff in the ring isn’t all that great. She’s a good enough antagonist though and beating up a goofy character like Emma here was a decent enough idea. They’re just waiting on Paige to come back for the revenge though.

Apparently that revenge is right now because here’s Paige to chase off Summer. The place went NUTS for Paige.

We recap Oliver Grey being laid out by the Wyatt Family last week.

Adrian Neville issues an open challenge to any member of the Family for next week.

Big E. Langston says that last week Conor O’Brian defeated two men to earn his title shot. However, this is Langston’s first defense, so he’s going to make sure it’s dominant, destructive and delicious.

Bray Wyatt vs. Bo Dallas

Wyatt talks about how in his world there are no distractions and no communication. The women take care of the young and the men aren’t afraid to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect what is theirs. He wants to know how far Dallas is willing to go to get what he wants. Wyatt takes him into the corner but then hides from a right hand. Bray starts to laugh at Dallas (his real life younger brother if you’re not familiar with your family trees) before hooking a headlock.

Dallas tries a headlock of his own but Wyatt hits a hard cross body for two. We take a break and come back with Dallas in a chinlock. Back up and Bo is whipped hard into the corner and a slam gets two for Bray. In a unique submission hold, Wyatt sits on Dallas’ ribs and pulls back on his head in a kind of reverse camel clutch. Dallas gets up again and tries a sunset flip but Bray drops down, only to hit the mat. The look on his face from missing is great as he looks like he was shot.

Bo starts his comeback with a forearm but gets caught in a big release Rock Bottom for two. A big splash in the corner crushes Bo and it’s time to dance with Dallas’ limp body. He dances a bit too long though and it allows Dallas to come out of it with a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:21 shown of 9:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much and I’m not sure on having Wyatt lose in I believe his third singles match. Dallas has flashes of good stuff but for the most part he still doesn’t do much for me. I like the belly to belly FAR better for him than the spear though, as a guy that size has no business using the same move that Goldberg or Roman Reigns uses.

Post match here’s the Wyatt Family to destroy Dallas as Wyatt laughs. Dallas makes a comeback and beats them both up, only to be caught in Bray’s Downward Spiral.

Justin Gabriel says he’s heard of Leo Kruger before. Back when Gabriel lived in South Africa he heard of Kruger being in the South African militia and apparently it messed with his head. Gabriel wants a match with Leo next week.

Here are Ricardo and Alberto to a very nice ovation. Del Rio does his old bit of “My name is Alberto Del Rio” which draws a small SI chant. He says he’s the new world champion here so this must be an old show. Del Rio talks about how there’s a lot of talent in the back and someone back there will be WWE or World Heavyweight Champion someday. Instead of a new superstar though, here’s Antonio Cesaro to challenge Del Rio to a champion vs. champion match. This brings out Dusty Rhodes who says that the Swedish guy in the ring doesn’t make matches. Cesaro can have a champion vs. champion match, but against this guy.

Big E. Langston vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here. Langston shoves him down and we’re ready to go. We take a break before there’s any contact (why not just have the bell after the break? Is it really that hard?) and come back with Langston easily breaking a wristlock. A lifting wristlock has Antonio in trouble as Big E. is easily throwing him around. Langston LAUNCHES him across the ring with a beal but Cesaro comes back with the European uppercuts and a knee lift for one.

Off to a kind of cobra clutch on Big E. but the NXT Champion easily fights up. Cesaro goes up top and dries Langston down with a knee before hitting his really impressive gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro hooks a sleeper but Langston easily fights out of it and clotheslines Cesaro down. Five knees to Cesaro’s ribs have him in trouble and Big E. runs him over, but here’s Corey Graves for the DQ at 5:23 shown of 8:53.

Rating: C. The match was ok and at the end of the day, it’s a good move to not have Cesaro lose clean here. I get that it’s just NXT, but you don’t want to have the US Champion losing in less than ten minutes like that. Granted it never stops them on Raw but that’s besides the point. I hope we don’t get a triple threat with Langston defending against Graves and O’Brian, but it seems to be the only way to get the title off of Langston without hurting him.

Graves is run over post match but here’s O’Brian to pound on Big E. Corey helps O’Brian and Langston is laid out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is NXT’s bread and butter: week to week booking that makes you want to come back and see where all this stuff is going. We got some matches that were set up last week as well as some stuff that was set up for next week. That’s very efficient and far better than what we get on the main shows. This show is still a treat to watch and I’m genuinely interested in where the stories are going. That’s good stuff.

Results

Kassius Ohno b. Derrick Bateman – Big Boot

Summer Rae b. Emma – Spinwheel Kick

Bo Dallas b. Bray Wyatt – Belly to belly suplex

Big E. Langston b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Corey Graves interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Apparently RVD’s contract is up and therefore he’s a free agent, meaning he could sign with WWE if he wants, or he could go anywhere else he would like.  This would be another high profile TNA star that has had his contract expire in recent days and the first to actually be remembered on time.

I wouldn’t mind if he left TNA.  He hasn’t had anything of note to do in months as he spent five months as X Champion and spent the entire time fighting Kenny King and Zema Ion in throwaway matches.  Why stick around when you’re just there to fill in a spot on the card?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’m not sure I agree with #1.Disc 1

Chemistry

#25 – Triple H vs. Mick Foley

#24 – Tazz vs. Sabu

#23 – Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

#22 – Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher

#21 – Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

Radioactive

#20 – CM Punk vs. John Cena

#19 – Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

#18 – Randy Orton vs. Triple H

#17 – Verne Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel

#16 – Mankind vs. The Undertaker

Underground Laboratory

#15 – Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven

#14 – Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

#13 – Triple H vs. The Rock

#12 – John Cena vs. Edge

#11 – Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Combustible

#10 – Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.

#9 – The Undertaker vs. Kane

#8 – Edge & Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

#7 – Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

#6 – Von Erichs vs. The Fabulous Freebirds

Quintessential Elements

#5 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock

#4 – Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

#3 – Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

#2 – Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Nucleus

#1 – Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon

Interaction and Reaction

Disc 2
WWE Championship Match
Hulk Hogan vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
The War to Settle the Score • February 18, 1985

“I Quit” Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Championship
Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum T.A.
Starrcade • November 28, 1985

Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher
World Class Championship Wrestling • July, 1987

Badstreet Rules Match
Kevin & Kerry Von Erich vs. Terry Gordy & Buddy Roberts
World Class Championship Wrestling • February, 1988

Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant
SummerSlam • August 29, 1988

The Undertaker vs. Mankind
King of the Ring • June 23, 1996

Disc 3
Grudge Match

Tazz vs. Sabu
ECW Barely Legal • April 13, 1997

The Final Battle

Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven
ECW WrestlePalooza • June 6, 1997

“Winner Take All” Handicap Ladder Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon & Shane McMahon
King of the Ring • June 27, 1999

WWE Championship Match
Triple H vs. The Rock
Backlash • April 30, 2000

WWE Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Rebellion • November 3, 2001

WWE Championship Match
Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
SummerSlam • August 24, 2003

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Edge
Raw • October 2, 2006

Blu-ray Exclusives
Shawn Michaels’ Tribute to The Undertaker
SmackDown • March 27, 2009

Six-Man Tag Team Match for the WWE Championship
Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
Backlash • April 26, 2009

WWE Championship Match
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Night of Champions • September 16, 2012

This could make for an interesting debate.In short, which means more: the time of Bubba Ray or the time as Bully Ray?  By that, I mean what means more: the TNA world title or all the tag titles and success he had with his brother?  Does beating Jeff Hardy mean more than all the TLC matches and ladder matches and main event spots as a tag wrestler that Bubba had?

 

For me it’s Bubba.  At the end of the day, Ray still hasn’t accomplished much on his own.  Yes he’s world champion, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a success as one, not with those nitwit bikers working for him.  He and D-Von own the record for most tag titles by so much that it’s unthinkable.  They main evented PPVs, they stole a lot of shows, and they were some of the biggest stars in ECW.  That trumps being champion of a glorified regional promotion.

Wrestlemania IV
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Well the crowd is only about 1/5 the size of the one we had last year but there are even more matches this year. This is a one idea show: we’ve got a tournament. The WWF Title is vacant due to the ending of Hogan vs. Andre II at The Main Event (for you ratings people, this show earned a 15 rating on NBC live on a Friday night. Wrestling used to be HUGE.) when there was a twin referee brought in to cost Hogan the title. The title is now vacant and will be decided tonight. Let’s get to it.

Before I forget, it should be noted that as this aired, the NWA (WCW) was airing the first live Clash of the Champions for free on TBS. That show would have one of the best matches the company ever produced with Sting challenging Flair for the world title for the first time.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Hogan

BYE

Andre

BYE

Jim Duggan

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Dino Bravo

Ricky Steamboat

Greg Valentine

Randy Savage

Butch Reed

Bam Bam Bigelow

One Man Gang

Rick Rude

Jake Roberts

Gene welcomes us to the show and presents Gladys Knight to sing America the Beautiful.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

Just for a big trophy here. Steele chills on the floor and Bob Uecker is in on commentary here. Sam Houston is put out quick as is Sika. Brunzell is sent to the apron by Nikolai but he makes the save. Both Bee’s are sent to the apron but Steele pulls Neidhart out to the floor. Both of the Bees are put out as is Ray Rougeau as the ring is thinning out a bit. Dog puts Bass out but has to fight off the Bolsheviks.

Hillbilly Jim is put out and Roma puts Davis out as well. We’re down to nine and Powers is out too. We’ve got Volkoff, Zhukov, Hart, Roma, Jacques Rougeau, Race, Brown, Patera and Dog. Race and Dog headbutt each other with the canine man winning. Nikolai is dumped by Patera and Zukov gets the same treatment.

Patera is pulled to the floor by Volkoff as Race and Rougeau go out. So it’s JYD, Hart and Brown to go. Dog gets on all fours to headbutt both heels but they finally catch up on him with some double teaming. He gets dumped out and Hart and Brown seem to be willing to split the win. Brown of course turns on Hart and dumps him out to win the trophy.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than the potential beginning of Bret’s first aborted singles push. The problem with battle royals is the same most of the time: there’s no reason for most of them to happen and with no story, there’s not much interest in the match. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but this wasn’t it.

Brown stands next to the trophy (which stands about 6’0) but Bret jumps him and destroys the trophy.

Fink explains the tournament structure (mainly time limits and saying it’s winners only advancing) and introduces Robin Leech (hosted a show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous) to read a proclomation.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

DiBiase is one of the favorites here as he tried to buy the title which started the whole mess. Andre and Virgil are with him here. Ted immediately hides in the corner as the Battle of Mid-South begins. Duggan wins a slugout and an atomic drop puts DiBiase on the floor. I could watch DiBiase fall over the top all day. He was always great at falling over and made it look like a science.

Back in and Jim clotheslines him down before pounding away a bit more. DiBiase charges into a boot in the corner and hits a middle rope ax handle for two. Duggan comes back with a sunset flip of all things for two and to give Jesse a shock. A suplex puts DiBiase down and he jumps into a punch in the ribs to slow him down even more. Duggan slams him down but Andre trips him before the three point clothesline can be launched. Jim looks at Andre but gets caught in the back by a knee, sending DiBiase to the quarterfinals.

Rating: C-. DiBiase’s flipping was a good touch and they got to do some decent stuff in less than five minutes. That’s one of the problems with tonight’s show: since there are so many matches they have to keep things short. Duggan would eventually feud with Andre in some surprisingly decent matches.

Gene is with Brutus and while looking him up and down says “Brutus this is incredible what a package.” After that unintentional comedy, Gene asks Brutus if he’s worried about Jimmy Hart interfering in the IC Title match tonight. Brutus says Hart will get a haircut if he intereferes.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Bravo shoves him back into the corner to start to win the first power battle of the match. Muraco hammers him down and tries something like a Vader Bomb but basically just lands next to Bravo instead. Dino comes back with an elbow to the face and a gutwrench suplex for no cover. A knee in the corner misses Muraco so he starts hammering on the knee.

A spinning toehold has Bravo in trouble but Don gets kicked away and gets his head caught in the ropes. Dino uses Muraco’s own piledriver to get two but a second attempt is countered with a backdrop. They clothesline each other but it’s Muraco up first. He hits a flying forearm which works so well that he tries it again, but Bravo pulls the referee into Muraco for the DQ.

Rating: D+. this was slow and plodding but it wasn’t horrible. Muraco was far better when he was less muscular and evil and this part of his career never quite worked that well. One very nice thing here is Jesse freaking out when Bravo got disqualified but then saying it was correct when seeing Bravo pull the referee on the replay. It’s very refreshing to see something like that.

Bob Uecker warns Honky Tonk Man about getting beaten up by Brutus. Honky makes fun of Uecker’s batting average and threatens to backstroke up the Mississippi River. Uecker: “You guys ain’t never coming to my house!”

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Should be good. Steamboat brings the future Richie Steamboat to the ring with him in matching outfits. Feeling out process to start with Steamboat taking him down via an armdrag. Gorilla says Ricky has excellence of execution to coin a phrase. A few shoulders get two on Valentine so he throws Steamboat over the top. That of course doesn’t work on the Dragon so he comes back with a dropkick and a crucifix for two.

Valentine comes back with his usual elbows and forearms to put Steamboat down. He pulls Steamboat off the ropes so Ricky drops onto the back of his head. This allows Gorilla to bust out the term “external occipital protuberance”, to which Jesse replies “THE WHAT?” The voice Ventura says that in is hilarious. Apparently it’s that little bump on the back of your head. Steamboat reverses a suplex into one of his own and hooks an armbar. Jimmy Hart goes a rant of instructions to the Hammer which is such a lost art in wrestling.

Steamboat gets dropped on the back of his head, allowing for another discussion of whatever that thing is called. Gorilla: “External occipital protuberance.” Jesse: “Oh ok. Back of the head for all you normal people back there.” Valentine pounds away with elbows as Gorilla says they’re “right in the kisser, right between the eyes.” His biology knowledge is all over the place. Donald Trump is in the front row. Steamboat comes back with some chops for two but Greg puts him right back down with a gutbuster.

Valentine goes after the leg but the Figure Four is broken up. They chop it out with Steamboat taking over, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Valentine hits a top rope forearm but still can’t put the Figure Four on. Steamboat hits an elbow to the face and a top rope chop for two. He rams Valentine into the corner ten times and shoves the referee away when he tries to break it up. Ricky goes up and hits the cross body but Valentine rolls through to eliminate Steamboat.

Rating: C+. Like I said, decent stuff here although Steamboat would be gone pretty much immediately over wanting to take some time off. Vince said no so Ricky left wrestling for about nine months. Anyway, good stuff here from two guys that know how to work whatever kind of a match you ask them to. Valentine was great in a role like this where he wasn’t going to win anything but he could fill in a spot and do just fine.

Steamboat waves goodbye to the crowd so yeah this was it for him.

The British Bulldogs with their recently returned dog Matilda declare her a weasel dog for their six man against the Islanders and Heenan. Oh and Koko is here too.

Bobby Heenan gets a package and actually tips the delivery guy. Ok then.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Macho and Liz come out in matching blue and Liz really is beautiful. She’s also one of the few females in wrestling that stayed classy (until Russo got ahold of her) for almost her entire run. This is power vs. speed with Reed getting Savage in the corner early on. Jesse asks Gorilla if he would buy a car from Slick (Reed’s manager). Gorilla says no. Jesse: “Not even a bright blue Caddy?” These two are just freaking fun together. They knew how to work off each other so well and it made the late 80s a ton of fun.

Reed pounds away on Savage and guillotines him on the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Butch stomps on Randy a bit before elbowing him right back down. Savage gets in a kick to the face and fires off some punches, only to get clotheslined down again. Reed goes up top but takes WAY too long to jaw at Liz, allowing Savage to slam him down and drop the elbow for the pin. The pop when Savage hits the elbow is HUGE. You could hear it starting lasts year in Detroit and now it’s full fledged here.

Rating: C-. This was basically a squash until the very end. Savage was great at building up sympathy from the crowd which is why the pops were so huge when he won here. Reed would also head to the NWA soon after this to do nothing for a year before joining Doom. Not much to see here but again, the time crunch hurts things a lot.

Uecker talks about trying to get with Vanna White tonight when Heenan and the Islanders come in. Heenan: “You talk about writing letters. You had 700,000 votes for the Hall of Fame. You would have had more but you ran out of stamps. Heenan isn’t worried about the six man later.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

Gang pounds away in the corner to start and Bigelow is in trouble. This is one of those big guys that pound away on each other with basic stuff but it looks better because they’re huge matches. Bigelow comes back with a forearm and a low splash for two. Bam Bam pounds away and hits a headbutt and then about four more to take over. He hits the ropes and Slick pulls the rope down though and Gang pounds on him on the apron enough to cause a countout. Too short to rate but this was lame. I think Bigelow had a bad knee here too.

Hogan goes into one of his most bizarre and over the top promos here. He talks about slamming Andre and breaking the United States in half, sending Andre and his next two opponents into the ocean. The rest if going to be nearly verbatim because a description won’t do it justice. Talking about them falling into the ocean:

“And so will Donald Trump and all the Hulkamaniacs, but as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza with his family under his other arm, and as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD Donald Trump is a Hulkamaniac. He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang onto the wife and kids and dog paddle all the way to safety. But Donald, if somehow you run out of gas, and all the Hulkamaniacs happen to run out of gas, just hang onto the largest back in the world and I’ll dog paddle and backstroke (wouldn’t the people on his back drown?) all of us to safety.”

So Hogan has just declared himself Jesus. You knew it was coming eventually.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

This is part of a BIG feud over Rude trying to get with Jake’s wife. Jake immediately goes for the part of Rude’s body that would mess with Rude the most: his face. Rude comes back with a slam and some right hands so Jake comes back with some slams of his own. Rude winds up in the corner with the snake and bails right into an arm wringer by Jake. Try as he might, Rude can’t fight out of the wristlock as it’s pretty clear this is going to last for awhile.

The hold is finally broken by Rude putting him on the top rope but Jake comes off the middle rope with a jumping knee lift to send Rick to the outside. Rude gets slammed again but this time the knee lift misses and Rick stomps away. Rick drops a knee and gets a VERY slow two count. We hit the chinlock and I open a book because we’re going to be here for a long time.

After about two minutes, Rude hits a token clothesline before hooking the chinlock all over again. Jake tries to fight back but gets launched into the head and dropped on his face. A top rope fist to a downed Jake gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. You can hear the fans booing now. Roberts tries a belly to back suplex but Rude still doesn’t break the hold.

Now the boring chants begin so Jake FINALLY hits a jawbreaker to get out of the hold and get the crowd going a bit. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude rams him into the corner. Jake is suplexed out of a headlock for two and both guys are down. Rude tries a pin with his feet on the ropes and the time runs out. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

Rating: D-. What in this is supposed to be appealing? We don’t get a DDT, we don’t get any comeuppance for Rude, we don’t get a winner, and we don’t even get a beating for Heenan. This was long and very dull with at least five minutes out of fifteen being spent in a chinlock. If you need to have two guys get eliminated to prevent another match later, wouldn’t it make sense to have this one go fast instead of going the time limit?

Gene and Vanna White look at the brackets so we’ll do that too.

Hogan

Andre

DiBiase

Muraco

Savage

Valentine

One Man Gang

BYE

Vanna has no idea who Bob Uecker is but she wants Hogan to win.

Hercules vs. Ultimate Warrior

They collide to start as the announcers recap the tournament. Hercules hits three straight clotheslines to put Warrior down to Jesse’s amazement. Warrior fires off some chops but gets backdropped out to the floor. They brawl on the floor for a bit as Heenan is reaching in his pockets. Both guys head back inside and pound on each other a little bit more with Warrior hitting the ten punches in the corner. Hercules comes out of the corner with an atomic drop and sends Warrior into the corner chest first. He puts on the full nelson but Warior climbs the corner and falls back ala Bret and Austin at Survivor Series 96 for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Warrior was rapidly becoming a force but it wouldn’t be another six months before he finally hit something special. Hercules would be around for a few more years but would never do anything of note. This was just a filler match to bridge the gap between the first and second rounds of the tournament.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre, which I’m sure you know the story of, at least up to Mania III. After that, Andre disappeared for the summer until leading his team to victory over Hogan’s team at the first Survivor Series (Hogan was counted out). So anyway DiBiase debuted and wanted to buy the world title but Hogan of course said no. DiBiase instead bought Andre from Heenan and said go get me the belt.

This led us to Indianapolis and the first Main Event, which completely destroyed every ratings record ever for wrestling, drawing a mind blowing 15 rating and 33 million viewers live on NBC on a Friday night. Today, 5 million people watching Raw is reasons for a celebration for Raw. Anyway, there was a screwjob finish with Dave Hebner’s twin brother Earl debuting as an imposter and counting a pin while Hogan’s shoulder was clearly up. Andre gave the title to DiBiase which didn’t fly with President Jack Tunney, so the title was held up and we got the tournament to settle things.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk charges into the ring but gets stomped down. DiBiase and Virgil are here in Andre’s corner. Hogan gets rammed into the corner and punched down by the giant but Hogan comes back with some forearms. He has to stop to beat up DiBiase and ram Ted and Andre’s heads together. Hogan chops Andre into the ropes and gets him tied up. DiBiase frees the arms but Hogan punches Andre down and drops some elbows, but the giant grabs him by the throat from the mat and takes over again.

Some standing choking ensues and Hogan goes down to his knees. That gets shifted into a nerve hold but Hogan fights up and fires away on Andre even more but can’t drop him. Hogan goes for a slam but DiBiase hits him in the back as Virgil distracts the referee. Hulk gets the chair away and hits Andre with the chair. Andre gets the chair away and hits Hulk with it, somehow drawing a double DQ despite Hogan clearly hitting Andre first.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t much from a quality standpoint but they were at a far faster pace than they were last year. That’s probably the right idea given how messed up Andre’s body was at this point though. Anyway, this is all part of the Master Plan which we’ll hear more about later on. Not a terrible match but it’s really just there to say it happened.

Hogan chases Virgil and DiBiase down with the former getting suplexed in the aisle. Hulk goes back in and slams Andre before posing for a few minutes despite not winning the match. It’s still going. He didn’t pose this much at last year’s show.

Savage and Liz (now in pink) say that Hogan was cheated and that he’s never been defeated. Oh and Macho is going to win.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

The winner goes to the finals because of the double DQ. Ted comes out alone here for the first time tonight. Muraco pulls him into the ring by the hair and we’re ready to go. A quick powerslam gets two and Ted is reeling. There’s a clothesline for another two and Ted tries to bail. DiBiase finally gets to the floor and Billy Graham (Muraco’s manager) tries to hit him with his cane. Back in and Don tries to pull him out of the corner but gets pulled into the corner himself instead. DiBiase finally has some control but misses a falling reverse elbow off the middle rope. Muraco makes a quick comeback but walks into a hotshot for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but yet again the time hurts them a lot. There’s only so much you can do in about five minutes, although it was good to show that DiBiase could get a win on his own which he did here. Muraco would be gone pretty soon if I remember correctly. Not much of a match here but it wasn’t bad.

Demolition talks about hitting people over the head with ball bats and say they’ll win the titles.

One Man Gang’s bye is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Savage takes over quickly with a slam and a knee drop for two but Valentine comes back with a pair of forearms, the second from the top rope. A shoulderbreaker gets two for Valentine and it’s time for some more elbows. Greg throws him to the floor and rams Randy into the barricade a few times. More elbows to the head and chest follow as Savage is in a lot of trouble.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the leg but Savage quickly grabs a rope. A suplex gets two for Valentine and Randy is in trouble. All of a sudden Savage goes NUTS (he’s fine then) and pounds away on Hammer with the top rope ax handle. He loads up another one but they kind of collide instead. Savage misses a charge at the ropes and Valentine tries the Figure Four again, only to get rolled up for the pin to advance Savage.

Rating: B-. It’s the best match of the tournament so far but that’s not saying much. Also it’s one of the longer matches of the tournament at just over six minutes so that probably has something to do with it. Savage took a beating in this but managed to sneak out with a win which is always cool to see. The fans continue to pop huge for him too which is a great sign.

Vanna White has no idea who Bob Uecker is. We look at the updated brackets:

Ted DiBiase

BYE

Randy Savage

One Man Gang

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sherri Martel is with Honky as Peggy Sue here which is a pretty amazing character change for her. This is during Honky’s insanely long run that drew a ton of money and is pretty awesome all around. Brutus hits a quick atomic drop and messes with Honky’s hair to play with his mind a bit. Honky bails to the floor as Jesse and Gorilla debate crooked referees. Back in and Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the buckle a few times as this is one sided so far.

A high knee sends the champion back to the floor but once back in, Beefcake gets caught by a shot to the stomach. Honky takes over and stomps away which is about the extent of his offense. He loads up the Shake Rattle and Roll but drops it and goes back to stomping. Honky tries it again but Brutus grabs the rope to block it. Beefcake pounds away a bit and grabs his sleeper but Jimmy knocks out the referee. Honky gets knocked but but there’s no referee so Brutus celebrates like an idiot. Brutus cuts Jimmy Hart’s hair for fun and Honky walks out. It’s a DQ I think.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as this show is just going WAY too long at this point. We’re only about two and a half hours into it and we’ve got four matches left. Brutus was just another guy in there to not get the title off Honky, which adds him to a list of about 10 guys who couldn’t do it. Honky would get his soon enough though.

In a semi-famous bit, Andre talks about DiBiase paying him to eliminate Hogan (not really a surprise) and then chokes Bob Uecker.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

There’s actually a story here. Heenan comes to the ring in a dog handlers’ outfit (remember the package from earlier?) because Matilda, the dog mascot of the Bulldogs, is back from being dognapped, presumably by the Islanders. Koko is there because when you need a filler, you call Koko B. Ware. We start with Dynamite vs. Tama but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Davey Boy for a nice power match.

Davey slams him down a few times and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. Back to Tama who is gorilla pressed up and down and it’s back to Haku. Jesse: “Heenan seems to be saving himself.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Did Gorilla just make a sex joke? I can feel my childhood crumbling as I type this. Koko comes in for some quick shots but it’s back to Dynamite for the clothesline that Benoit copied from him.

The Kid charges into a kick in the corner and here’s Heenan for the first time. He stomps on Dynamite, gets hit once in his padded suit, and runs away. That’s about what I expected. Tama tries a Vader Bomb but hits knees, allowing for another tag to Koko. He pounds on both Islanders but Haku takes him right back down. Tama comes in with a top rope chop and Heenan gets his second tag. Heenan chokes a bit but misses a charge into the post. Everything breaks down and the Islanders drop Heenan onto Koko for the pin.

Rating: C. I told you Koko was worthless in this. The stuff with the tag teams was pretty solid but the rest of it was as dull as you would expect. These six man tags with the Bulldogs in there don’t go that well for them but this was their last try at it. This was basically a comedy match and it was only kind of funny.

Jesse Ventura is introduced to the crowd for some posing.

Ted DiBiase’s bye is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage

Savage and Liz are in black for this one. Randy tries to lock up with him to start which isn’t his best play here. Gang shoves him into the corner and pounds him down then does it again for a few more minutes. A pair of splashes miss and an elbow sends Gang into the ropes and out to the floor. Savage tries a slam but gets choked down instead. Liz gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Slick throws in the cane, but Gang gets caught swinging it for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and Savage on defense can’t save most of a match. This is the second win over a Slick client of the night and he would spend the summer feuding with more of them. Gang was a decent big man but at the end of the day he was just another monster for a hero to vanquish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as people can make a great living like that, especially in the 80s.

Savage gets hit with the cane anyway but he still comes back and sends Gang into Slick.

The finals are DiBiase vs. Savage.

Bob Uecker can’t catch up with Vanna.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Strike Force

Strike Force is one of my favorite teams ever and is comprised of Rick Martel and Tito Santana. They had been champions for something like five months and are still considered transitional champions. Smash and Martel start things off and the former lives up to his namesake by beating Rick down. Everything breaks down quickly for a bit and the result is the champions in control. Tito comes in to work over the arm of Ax before it’s off to Smash for more arm cranking.

Demolition comes back with a standing Hart Attack before it’s back to Ax for a powerslam. Smash suplexes Tito down for two but an elbow drop misses. Ax comes back in and gets caught out of nowhere by the flying forearm (Jesse: “He learned that in the Mexican Football League.”). There’s the hot tag to Martel and it’s dropkicks a go-go. The Boston Crab goes on Smash but Tito goes after Ax. The forearm takes him down but Fuji slides in the cane. Rick gets blasted in the back of the head, giving Demolition their first titles. They would hold those belts for over a year and a half.

Rating: C+. Power vs. speed is always a good combination and that’s what you got here. Demolition was a pair of guys who beat the tar out of everyone they fought and that’s what they did here. It took a pair of Horsemen to get the belts off of them if that tells you anything about how awesome they were.

Robin Leech brings out the WWF Title belt.

Bob Uecker is guest ring announcer. Vanna White is guest timekeeper and she gives Bob a kiss.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Savage and Liz are now in white and Andre is with DiBiase. Macho blocks some punches in the corner but Andre trips him up like a jerk. Andre does it again and Savage is catching on that he’s got a problem. They trad some cranking on the arm and DiBiase’s sunset flip doesn’t work. A clothesline gets two for Randy and he sends DiBiase to the floor where Andre says go ahead and jump.

Realizing he’s in trouble, Savage sends Liz to the back the obvious reason (hint: the fans are chanting HOGAN). DiBiase hooks a chinlock and heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Hulk. The look on Hogan’s face and his jaws going all over the place make him look high as a kite. Ted pounds away in the corner and Andre pulls Savage to the outside. Hogan jumps the giant but Savage is in big trouble.

A gutwrench suplex gets two for Ted but he goes up top for reasons of general stupidity, earning that slam off the top by Savage. Randy tries a quick elbow but only hits the mat. DiBiase puts on the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan, ever the hero, comes in and whacks DiBiase in the bak with a chair. Savage runs to the top and the big elbow gives him his first world title.

Rating: B-. This was a decent match and the place went NUTS for the win, but they were both really tired and it slowed them down a lot. The Hogan cheating wasn’t really necessary and it made Savage look a bit weak, but at the end of the day it didn’t make that big of a difference. Still though, huge moment here.

Hogan insists on being in the ring for the celebration which really takes something away from it. The three celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The moment at the end is huge, but the time it took getting there isn’t worth it. The problem with this show is that it’s WAY too long and there aren’t that many good matches on it. Sixteen matches are WAY too many to have on a single show and the fans were really burned out by the end. This should have been an eight man tournament with some slightly longer matches. Also this show is almost four hours long and the talent pool just wasn’t deep enough to support that back then. Nostalgia is really all that helps this show for most modern fans, but that’s not a terrible thing.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: C

Redo: D+

Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: C

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Original: D

Redo: C-

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Original: D

Redo: D-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: C

Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Original: C+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Original: D+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Original: D

Redo: D

Demolition vs. Strike Force

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same more or less.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/11/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-4-one-big-tournament-and-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Victory Road 2011
Date: March 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well this is TNA’s offering for the month. It’s another show with the majority of it added on at the very end with no real build to it. Yes there are stories for the matches, but that doesn’t mean there’s justification for asking something like 40 dollars for a show. The main event is the rematch of Sting vs. Jeff Hardy and the third #1 contender situation for Anderson. Let’s get to this as it’s one of the least interesting shows I can remember in forever.

The opening video is the Sting mask being crawled on by a scorpion. Wow they’re banking a lot on this push.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

 

Pre match Ray runs his mouth about how awesome Hogan and Bischoff are for letting him have a run. Dreamer comes out and Ray talks about how he’s run Dreamer into the ground over the years and mentions breaking his wife’s neck. This is now hardcore. They brawl to start us off and Dreamer sends him to the floor as we imply Ray going to Immortal. Well if they want to drive it off a cliff why not?

A fan holds a up a chair and Dreamer rams Bubba into it. There’s some water spit into Bubba’s head. This is opening a PPV in 2011. Dreamer grabs some big yellow stuffed animal (apparently from Despicable Me) to drill Ray with. Into the crowd now as my head is already hurting from this. Granted that might be due to Florida getting a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament but who knows.

They go into the balcony with the traditional carry the guy around style. Dreamer hits him in the head with something that looked like it was made of metal to continue his dominance so far. Back to ringside with Bubba getting in a big shot with some other unidentifiable weapon. Crowd is hating on Ray pretty well. He’s played the character well, but why in the world is it Bubba Ray Dudley getting this push?

Ray goes after Dreamer’s hand which only works to an extent. Dreamer throws some garbage cans with weapons into the ring. Good thing he had those just in case this was made hardcore I guess. They have a road block thing that has a name that I can’t think of in there. It’s the orange/white fence thing that is moved up when you drive through it. And there’s an inflatable doll in there which Bubba lands in a 69 position with.

Splash on the doll onto Bubba gets two. Ray gets a trashcan lid shot to the head of Dreamer as Dreamer goes up top. Superplex gets no cover. Bubba Bomb is blocked into a DDT for two. Dreamer brings in a table (moving it off the love doll) which is set up in the ring like a small ramp. The fans want D-Von as Ray gets a spinning Rock Bottom for two. He sets the table for Dreamer and calls out at D-Von. The kids of D-Von come out as does D-Von and Ray takes a 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: D+. There was a blowup doll in this as well as a Despicable Me doll. I get that it’s a comedy match, but dude it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Ray Dudley opening a PPV in a semi-comedy match in the year 2011. Just get to the table match that is coming for Bubba vs. D-Von so they can move into midcard purgatory.

Winter and the Beautiful People insist they’re cool. Winter says the issues have been Velvet’s fault. This gets a WTF look from Velvet.

Knockout Tag Titles: Rosita/Sarita vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

The Mexican chicks say basic Spanish stuff. Winter is blindfolded or something and there’s no Velvet, making me think the titles are changing here. Rosita and Angelina start us off but it’s off to Winter quickly as the champions are dominating. Bridging Northern Lights gets two. Angelina back in now as the fans chant USA for two Mexican chicks, Angelina (Canadian) and the British chick Winter.

Sarita is in now and has about as much luck as Rosita had. There’s some heel cheating and Rosita misses a front flip legdrop that was aimed at Angelina’s ankles. More fast tags by the champions as they regain control quickly. Everything breaks down slightly and Sarita grabs a belt. She drops it and Rosita gets ahold of it but Velvet runs in to steal it. Winter rolls her up but no referee. Rosita reverses it and wins the titles with a pin.

Rating: D. Well this was predictable. I don’t think this lasted very long but I don’t time PPV matches so it’s not like it matters. Granted these titles have been worthless since they debuted. Velvet has to explain herself. Wouldn’t Winter know that she was never hit by a belt and that would be enough validation? Whatever.

We’re going to have the Jarretts on vacation tonight. They’re at Universal Studios and Karen is bored out of her mind with the rollercoasters. The kids are with them and Karen hates the kid stuff.

Morgan talks about (Shawn) Hernandez and how the Mexican company dropped him. Morgan says that after this he’s going after the world title. The recap for the match is just that Hernandez came back and played the race card, setting this up. He’s in Immortal also.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

This is first blood. Hernandez came out to the LAX theme which is a rarity. They head to the floor almost immediately as Morgan rushes the ring. Hernandez gets a sharp wooden stick and tries to jab it into Morgan’s face ala Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard. I apologize for comparing this to a classic like that. Hernandez ribs as the face as the fans want blood. Morgan fights back by a side slam.

Hernandez hits a Pounce as we hear about how awesome he was in AAA. He was so awesome he wasn’t at their biggest show of the year last year. Hernandez hammers away until Morgan gets a discus lariat. This is rather boring if you didn’t get that. Fall away slam continues Morgan’s lack of head shots. He grabs the stick from earlier but gets kicked in the gut to drop it.

A fan runs in and Hernandez pulls out a chain. Morgan kicks it out of his hand and drills Hernandez with it. The referee is down and Hernandez is busted open. Hernandez comes out of the corner and sprays Morgan with something that looks like fake blood or something like that. The other referee comes out of the back (I guess not watching on a monitor or something) and gives it to Hernandez.

Rating: F+. Well the ending was original as I don’t think I’ve ever seen that done. However, this is more or less every other first blood match with the heel bleeding and getting the win anyway in a screwy finish. This was nothing at all of note, but granted you can say that about the first 45 minutes entirely here of Impact on Sunday.

It’s Max Buck’s birthday and he works as a team with his brother. Shenanigans are implied.

Kazarian interviews JB in a weird moment. He busts out a Charlie Sheen reference, making me want to end Kazarian.

Robbie E yells at someone that we can’t see. Cookie is panicking about Ultimate X and Robbie says he’s fine. This was idiotic if you didn’t get that.

Video on Ultimate X. It’s so awesome that it got thrown on at the last minute.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E

 

The idea here is the title is hung over the ring on cables that cross to form an X. You have to climb across to grab the title and can’t use a ladder. It’s supposed to be all about Maz remember. This is the 24^th Ultimate X match in history apparently and Kaz’s fifth. This is kind of a weird triple that with Gen Me vs. Robbie vs. Kaz. The team beats up both guys to start us off.

Kaz fights them off for a bit and manages a springboard up to the X in a cool spot. That gets him nowhere as Robbie comes in and stomps away. Max goes up but it’s Robbie stopping him. Cookie is hot but the voice is annoying. Gen Me gets everyone down and goes for the belt until Robbie stops them again. Kaz is back in now and faces off with Jersey Boy.

Robbie escapes the Fade to Black (that reverse Piledriver) and gets backdropped to the floor, hitting his ankle on the steps. Gen Me wakes up again and takes down both guys one more time. Jeremy gets a sweet assisted moonsault to take Robbie and Kaz down. Max is all alone but wants Jeremy to help him up instead. Jeremy holds off Kaz and Max makes a run at it. Kaz of course saves as Robbie has a bad ankle still.

Double dropkick puts down Kaz and a baseball slide does the same to Robbie. Jeremy does this weird reverse jump to get up and holds off Kaz. This again fails and Maz, who also was trying to get the belt, is swung backwards and gets knocked off and caught in a cutter to put him down. Robbie gets up and goes for the title, only to get pulled down by Max. And never mind as Max is sent into the structure by Kaz and gets stuck. That’s different if nothing else.

Everyone is down now and Max is unhooked for a change. Kaz hits Fade to Black on Robbie but gets kicked by Jeremy. Jeremy tries to go up only to take an enziguri from the champion to put him down. Flux Capacitor (suplex/rock bottom) off the top by Kaz puts Jeremy down again. Robbie and Kaz both go across at the same time. Gen Me kicks Robbie down and swing the champion down too in a nice bump.

Jeremy goes up and Max is ticked. Max pulls him down which is the point of the match. They both go from opposite corners and both are hung by their legs upside down in the middle. They slug it out up there until Robbie grabs a ladder to take them down. Kaz goes above the X and grabs the title at the same time as Robbie. Kaz pulls it up but there’s no bell. Oh there it is.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but this is a match that has been done so many times that there wasn’t much here. It’s definitely one of the weaker matches they’ve had with this gimmick but it’s still good. Fun match but they kept trying to play up the Bucks only for them to break up and not play a factor in the end. Fun, but definitely not great.

More honeymoon stuff and Karen wants champagne. Instead it’s a pizza. Next up: a water park.

Beer Money hits on Christy and try to get her to do the BEER MONEY thing. Basically it’s to hit on her and stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. They get serious and say they’re awesome but Ink Inc is overstepping their bounds. Something about respect is mentioned.

We recap the feud, which was Ink Inc saying they want a title shot and Beer Money saying ok.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

 

I could see this being good. Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows. The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams. Moore gets a leg lariat for two. Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two. This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock. They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on. It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all. It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match. Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two. Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore. Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover. Roode with a Rock Bottom for two. BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm. Neckbreaker gets two on Roode. Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees. Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore. I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part. It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad. Like I said: just kind of there. The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys. This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all. Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

Neal shakes their hands post match but Moore spits beer in their faces, I guess turning heel. He talks about having to be tough to win. Whatever.

Matt Hardy talks about how he’s cold blood/cold blooded and will hurt AJ.

AJ Styles vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is just Immortal vs. Fourtune. AJ uses speed to take over and grabs a front facelock. Sweet dropkick takes Matt down. Flair interferes and here comes Matt. Here come the dueling chants also. Matt has the braided hair back too. He’s in jeans and no armbands either, making him look like a bum.

Out to the floor again where AJ is sent into the post. He counters by hitting his always awesome slide under the railing and springboard forearm. Back in the ring now with AJ taking over for awhile. Matt sends him to the floor and Flair hammers away. That’s Lockdown for these two next month people. Back in Matt grabs a submission hold which is like a body vice. Picture him setting for a double arm DDT and jumping up to wrap his legs around AJ. It looked good if nothing else.

The rope is reached so it’s not like it means anything. Taz says there’s no escape to it, which is stupid as AJ just escaped. Flair grabs AJ’s balls for a bit and Matt grabs a cravate. This is boring as heck if that wasn’t clear. AJ comes back and hammers away as the crowd seems a bit restless. Enziguri puts Matt down and AJ does the same. More punching follows and a big kick to the head sets up a backbreaker for two.

AJ misses a discus lariat and the Side Effect gets two. This needs to end rather soon here. Matt gets an elbow to the back of AJ’s head and it’s Twist of whatever time. It’s blocked into a backslide for two and down goes AJ again. AJ gets back up and tries the Clash but Matt escapes that and gets two. Styles kind of botches his backflip into the reverse DDT but Flair distracts the referee.

Flair pokes AJ in the eye and takes a Pele for his efforts. Matt gets a DDT and a moonsault for two. END THIS ALREADY. Hey they listen to me as AJ takes Matt down and Spiral Tap of all things which AJ hasn’t used in years (it’s a top rope twisting moonsault/splash) gets him the pin.

 

Rating: D+. AJ was good, Matt was sluggish. What else were you expecting here? For the life of me I don’t get why people see money in Matt Hardy as he’s just big and slow at this point with the fans cheering him for some reason. AJ needs to just beat Flair and get it over with already. At least Matt didn’t win so there is that at least.

Back to the honeymoon with Karen snapping on Jeff. She wants sex apparently. Jeff thinks she means Kurt. This storyline has died so many times it’s insane. Thursday on Impact Jeff is going to call for a truce. They’re not sure where their kids are but they all get soaked. Jeff has been a total face the entire night now.

Anderson talks about getting screwed over and more or less says he’s a tweener.

We recap RVD vs. Anderson. In short, they both want the title and both say they got screwed. Somehow we’re talking about football. They’re grasping at whatever straws grasp at to come up with a backstory for this match. They talk about Lockdown in the voiceover but I stopped caring a long time ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

This is ANOTHER #1 contenders match for Anderson after he won one already. They stare it down to start and it’s dueling chant time with Anderson’s being louder. Technical stuff goes on and it’s a standoff. More technical stuff follows as I think this is supposed to be an epic match. They botch a leapfrog spot with Van Dam taking a head to the balls. This show is almost a comedy of errors at this point.

Rolling Thunder to Anderson as I just want this match to end at this point. Spinning legdrop to the railing misses Anderson and the leg hits the railing to give Anderson control. Anderson works the leg and it’s all basic stuff here. Mic Check is blocked and Rolling Thunder doesn’t work either. Van Dam gets a suplex to put both guys down.

Both guys go down again and this is just dragging like every other match so far. Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and they ram heads to go down AGAIN. Now they head to the floor off a cross body and they lay around AGAIN. Anderson gets the Mic Check on the stage and Van Dam is more of less dead.

And it’s a double count out. The fans boo the HECK out of that and I’d be with them. This somehow was 15 minutes long. Where in the world was the 15 minutes? Oh and look: MORE multi-man title matches. The fans chant to restart it and half chant no. Now it’s a 5 more minutes chant. Get on with it already.

Rating: F. This was just boring and the ending hurt it even more. They have zero chemistry together and this show has sucked so hard so far that this made it even worse. It’s obvious they’re doing a multi-man match at Lockdown but that isn’t helping anything as far as tonight goes. This is one of the worst PPVs I’ve seen in a very long time which is saying a lot when it comes to TNA.

We recap Sting winning the title on 3/3. He was a surprise, read the other reviews for the details.

Hardy says that he was treated unfairly and he’ll win tonight to bring everyone back to reality.

Sting talks about getting into the business and it’s music video time. I’ve heard this interview before. Probably was on Impact or something. Yeah I think it was. He was at home and felt a burn. Call a doctor dude.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Sting

 

It’s 10:30 and Jeff is wasting time getting to the ring. Before the match Bischoff comes out to waste MORE time. He makes it No DQ which somehow takes like two minutes. Sting drops him and the Scorpion Death Drop ends this in less than a minute. That was their first contact of the “match.” I kid you not. Are they serious?

We get a highlight video to fill in 6 minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: F-. The show has been over for 15 minutes now (final bell rang at 10:38) and I don’t know what to say. Early word is that Hardy was in no condition to perform. If that’s the case, TNA’s creative and management team all should refund the fan’s money and resign. You had 150 minutes to come up with ANYTHING else to put out there and this is what they gave us. Put Bully Freaking Ray out there and it’s a better than this.

I’m still not sure what to think about what just happened but this is awful even by TNA standards. It’s a big slap in the face to the people that bought this show and they’ve cost themselves dearly. I was going to go to Lockdown and now I have no interest in going at all. Absolutely awful ending and a disgrace all around. Jeff being high or not, you do not let this happen. Period.

As for the rest of the show, it was bad. There was nothing at all of note worth seeing and that makes the ending even worse. This show didn’t need to happen at the end of the day. It’s a speed bump on the road to Lockdown and nothing was advanced here. Now, because of this, TNA has another fire to put out. I have no idea where they go from here but it’s nowhere good.

Results

Tommy Dreamer b. Bully Ray – 3D with help from D-Von

Rosita/Sarita b. Winter/Angelina Love – Rollup to Winter

Hernandez b. Matt Morgan – Hernandez squirted blood on Morgan

Kazarian b. Max Buck, Jeremy Buck and Robbie E – Kazarian pulled down the Title

Beer Money b. Ink Inc – DWI to Moore

AJ Styles b. Matt Hardy – Spiral Tap

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Sting b. Jeff Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Starrcade 1988
Date: December 26, 1988
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

We’re firmly in the Horsemen era here with the main event being Luger vs. Flair for the title in what is considered their best match of their seemingly never ending series. There’s an interesting story to that which I’ll get to at the end of the review. Since this is NWA time there are only seven matches and 6 of them get over ten minutes and 5 of them get over 15 minutes.

That was one thing you could count on in this era: nice long matches. The only other thing you need to know about here is the Varsity Club, a group of guys that were “amateur stars” (most of them were but not all of them. Picture a Jack Swagger stable) who are the upper midcard heel group. They’re around a lot here. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotunda (members of the Varsity Club) say they’ll beat Rick Steiner (former member of the Club) and Rotunda will keep the TV Title. Rotunda cannot talk that well. Oh this is actually part of the preshow.

Steiner apparently got electrocuted and can’t remember how to talk that well. Yeah this was a weird time. He has a face painted on his hand named Alex. Ok every gimmick can’t be a Horseman. This show is on a Monday actually, but the Sunday was Christmas Day so the thinking is correct here I guess.

Standing highlight package of the matches tonight opens us up, with the highlight being Dusty, who had his eye stabbed by the heel turning Road Warriors, says “make sure you take both eyes, both limbs, both hearts, both ears etc.” See an issue there?

Tony Schiavone is the host and has a true mustache going on. Magnum TA is with him and isn’t even 30 years old at this point. Such a shame.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams here. Williams is an absolute monster who is far more famous in Japan than he is here. Sullivan is listed as being from Singapore. Ok then. Rogers and Fulton (the Fantastics) are an incredibly underrated team as this era was dominated by teams like the Road Warriors, the Horsemen, the Rock N Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is a shame as they really were good.

Sullivan and Fulton start us off and Fulton hits a Thesz Press off the top for a fast two. Williams comes in and things slow way down. And Jason Hervey is here to just tick me off. Why did he have to ALWAYS get some quick camera time? The champions use their speed and tandem offense to work on Williams’ arm. Nice double monkey flip by the champions but Fulton gets caught in a gorilla press where Williams literally throws Fulton in the air about 6 times in a row. He had SCARY power.

Williams is 27 here which is scary. Fulton gets a headlock on him and Williams is just like screw that and hits a suplex to counter. He’s almost the Brock Lesnar of his era actually. Sullivan comes back in to give the champions a chance. Williams comes back in and just ends the Fantastics before tagging back out. Ok so he didn’t as Sullivan was just being a jerk.

Rogers gets a sunset flip for two on Williams and that’s about it. Back to Fulton who locks in a big old bearhug that the heel has to resort to the thumb to the eye to get out of. Both guys tag but the face one isn’t seen. Who cares about that though? We go from five minutes gone by to ten in less than 4 minutes so I’m betting on a clip in there somewhere. Actually it’s been about 10 minutes since the match started so maybe the five minute call was late.

Sullivan misses something from the top and Williams is tagged and just MAULS Rogers. This guy is awesome. The heels are tagging incredibly fast in this match. In about 12 minutes we’ve seen at least 8 or 9 tags from them so far which is a tonw hen you think about it. It’s also a ton when you don’t think about it but you get what I mean. Rogers gets a dropkick to send Williams reeling but Sullivan stops the tag.

A pair of double stomps to the ribs of Rogers gets two. Rogers jumps over Sullivan to get the tag to Fulton. We hit fifteen minutes (the ring announcer says this and I figure it helps give an idea of how much we’ve gotten through) and the champions both get sleepers on. Fulton goes for the Thesz Press but Williams catches him in a Hot Shot for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Williams being shown off as an absolute ANIMAL. The Fantastics, who were a very good if not great tag team had nothing to stop him with and lost the titles because of him. Sullivan might as well have been a ham and bacon sandwich on the side here as it was so much a one man team out there. Nice opener and the fans seemed into it.

Tony and Magnum run down the rest of the card and we get their predictions.

Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express

No that’s not a typo. Over the years there have been a LOT of people in the Midnight Express but originally they were a tag team comprised of Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. This evolved into a team of Condrey and Bobby Eaton. In one of the strangest stories in wrestling history, Condrey disappeared for a year. I don’t mean storyline disappeared. I mean no one from his boss to his friends to his wife knew where he was for 12 months. Then one day he popped up in the AWA and reformed the original Midnight Express with Rose. To this day he’s never explained what happened.

Anyway, Eaton had gotten a new partner, Stan Lane, and made the new Midnight Express. Rose and Condrey came to the NWA to jump the new Express during a squash. Their manager: Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman). The new team is managed by longtime manager Jim Cornette and amazingly are faces which is very rare for them. They jump the originals (remember: Rose and Condrey are the originals and Lane and Eaton are the new ones in case you get confused) and clear the ring to start us off. This should be awesome.

Cornette wants Dangerously and of course grabs the mic to say he wants him. Oh hey let’s introduce the teams. Both teams are billed from the Dark Side which is kind of awesome. The new guys clear the ring one more time just to get their point across. Cornette is WAY fired up here. He points at Heyman and dances like a chicken. The fans are eating this up to put it mildly.

Rose and Lane start us off. Rose goes to the floor and Cornette BLASTS him with the tennis racket. He’s absolutely stealing the show here. Teddy Long is the referee and has hair. We FINALLY get the regular stuff going and it’s all new guys. Cornette pops Rose with the racket one more time and the fans are eating it up. Heyman, in his pink shirt, is losing his mind.

Lane comes in and throws his kicks which were always awesome. The originals haven’t been on offense whatsoever here. Condrey gets in like four punches and then gets his head kicked some more. Rose gets in a bit of offense and so much for that. Even jobbers get better offense in than this. Caudle is having audio difficulties. The heels FINALLY take over on Eaton.

Dangerously sneaks in a shot and Cornette SPRINTS after him in a funny bit. We hit the chinlock and get a Bear Bryant reference of all things. Heel dominance ensues for awhile as this is pure 80s formula stuff. While that sounds bad, given the people in there, as in the teams that partially invented it, this is solid stuff. Rocket Launcher misses and Cornette is “tapping like a drunk man”. We hit fifteen minutes and Lane gets the hot tag to a nice pop.

Enziguri puts Condrey down but Heyman gets a shot with his phone. Cornette FINALLY gets his hands on Heyman and lands a decent punch on him. Condrey goes for the cover but Long sees the phone and won’t count it. Lane gets behind Rose and Eaton hits a clothesline (Ross shouts DOUBLE GOOZLE, which is a nickname for a chokeslam and makes no sense at all) to send Rose over Lane for the pin.

Rating: B. More solid tag stuff here with the fans loving all of it. This feud would continue until Condrey just left and Rose was fired also because no one cared about him without Condrey. This was a solid match as expected with classic 80s tag wrestling at its finest. Why would I have expected anything different? Fun stuff and a very good match.

Post match the originals beat up everyone, mainly Cornette. Eaton gets up and gets the racket for the save. Crowd was INSANE for this whole thing.

Magnum talks to the new US Champions and points out the obvious: Williams made the difference. The Club complains about Steiner for later.

Russian Assassins vs. Junkyard Dog/Ivan Koloff

Well you knew it couldn’t be good the whole time. Also notice the INSANE emphasis on tag wrestling with a total of four out of seven matches here being tag matches. The Assassins are just numbered 1 and 2 with 2 being ECW’s Jack Victory. If the non Russians win then Paul Jones, their manager, has to leave the NWA. Koloff is only famous for stopping Sammartino’s legendary world title reign that lasted over seven years.

No real way to tell the Assassins apart so I’m not going to really try to. Dog with a cradle gets zero to start. Ah ok that’s #1 in there. #2 appears to be fatter. That helps a little. Ah and the other stipulation is that the Russians have to unmask. Is there any benefit for them winning here? Koloff sends #2 in and grabs him by the throat to take him down in what could be called the chokeslam’s half uncle by marriage once removed I guess.

Clothesline from the middle rope puts #2 down. Ah apparently that was a Russian Sickle. How could I be so stupid? He curled his arm up slightly. The Dog comes in to cheers so loud you can barely understand the audio. For the life of me I’ve never gotten his appeal. The heels take over on JYD and one of them kicks him in his boneyard. Some double team move misses and both guys are down.

Ivan vs. #1 now. Jones is on the apron and the heels are slammed into each other. Big old brawl now that is boring. There’s the Sickle again which of course is a clothesline but one of the Assassins puts something in his mask and rams his head into Ivan’s for the pin.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. Total nothing match here with nothing special about it. Other than the JYD’s hot tag there was nothing the crowd got into at all. With that many stipulations in there it was very unlikely for the faces to win which was expected too. This more or less went nowhere at all and had one good thing going for it: it’s the match on the show that didn’t break 10 minutes.

Jim and Bob talk about the show so far for any viewers that missed the first third of the show I suppose.

TV Title: Mike Rotunda vs. Rick Steiner

This is a big old grudge match. Sullivan is in the cage above the ring. Rotunda has held the title for about a year now and is considered to be unbeatable in 20 minutes, which is the max a TV Title match can go. Steiner was thrown out of the Varsity Club where he was more or less considered too stupid to mean anything. They treated him as their lackey for months until he went nuts and hit one of the best belly to belly suplexes ever to just kill Rotunda. He would bring in some dude named Scott to help him in this war. Pretty sure they never went anywhere.

They slug it out early on and Rotunda is out of his game there so he hits the floor. Steiner goes off with some basic wrestling moves and Rotunda has nothing. Long headlock sequence follows with Rick dominating. Rick has dedicated this match to his mother. I think we know what’s coming here. All Steiner so far as Rotunda runs and hides. He keeps pulling Rick’s hair to no avail. We go to the mat and once again Rick controls.

Rick bites his tights in a hammerlock just to be funny I guess. The next PPV is in February. What’s it called? Where is it? Who cares apparently. Rotunda FINALLY gets a suplex to….never mind he’s back on defense already. We’re over seven minutes into this and Rotunda has hit a total of a suplex, a headlock and a drop toehold. He hits the floor to stall and nothing of note is going on here.

The crowd thinks Syracuse (Rotunda’s school) sucks. Steiner goes for a big old clothesline but hits the floor at the ten minute mark. Rotunda gets a long chinlock and uses the ropes to cheat, drawing solid heat. Little things like those can go a long way. And we have no commentary now. After a brief Steiner comeback we hit that chinlock again. Sunset flip a few seconds later gets two.

We hit the fifteen minute mark meaning there are five to go, drawing loud boos. Rick starts the comeback with a Steinerline. Ah there’s Ross again. Steiner beats the heck out of Rotunda and here comes Steve Williams. Belly to belly connects but Williams rings the bell. Teddy Long thinks the time is up but here comes senior referee Tommy Young because Rotunda has done this to steal a win before.

The referees talk and Sullivan is let down. He argues with Young and Rotunda punches Steiner. Steiner shoves Rotunda into Sullivan and they bang heads. Steiner jumps on Rotunda and both referees count three to absolutely blow the roof off the place. This would be like Virgil beating DiBiase as Steiner FINALLY shuts up Rotunda and beats him at his own game after being told he was too stupid to do anything right. Steiner’s celebration is awesome beyond belief. Look it up as it’s incredible.

Rating: C-. Match was pretty meh but the ending is just straight up awesome. Steiner would lose the title back in February but this was the moment that EVERYONE wanted to see and they delivered perfectly on it as Steiner had him twice and actually got the pin on the second time. Just an awesome moment that is reminiscent of Foley winning the title. I loved this and it worked very well.

Tony and Magnum talk some more.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Windham is champion and a Horseman. Bigelow had left WWF shortly after Mania so he’s wildly popular here. Bigelow shoves him around to start and is just MAD over. He gets Windham in a Fireman’s Carry and drops to his knees for a modified gutbuster. This is back when Bigelow could still go very well and Windham was one of the best in the world so this is far better than it sounds.

We get into a power match and Bigelow starts no selling shots. BIG old gorilla press and Windham is rocked. The fans are really into Bigelow here, even at a rate that surprises me. He gets a dropkick that sends Windham to the floor, making JJ want a DQ. See that’s what a manager is supposed to do. He did something so simple like that but it got heat on both him and his man and at the same time didn’t take anything away from the match because Barry was still down. It also keeps the fans from being taken out of the match by giving them a little something to tide them over. It’s so simple yet so effective.

Windham makes a small comeback and thrown Bigelow to the floor, hurting the big man’s knee. We hit the ten minute mark and it’s a back and forth match. Bigelow hits the slingshot splash, one of his finishers, and lets Windham up. He goes up top and misses the splash completely. Windham takes his head off with a BIG old lariat and Bigelow is in trouble.

Very nice belly to back suplex takes Bigelow down again. Dillon wants the Claw (Windham’s finisher) and there it is. After that is broken by the ropes we get a slam by the champion at the 15 minute mark. Windham misses a top rope elbow and the fans are WAY into this. Bigelow makes his big overblown comeback with the big wild swings. Bigelow goes for a back drop over the top but his knee gives out and we’re both on the floor. Windham sends him into the post and it’s a countout.

Rating: B-. FAR better than I expected here with a white hot crowd. Bigelow could go back in the day and this was no exception. This was a solid match and the countout finish is probably the only thing holding it down. The match isn’t a classic or anything but it’s a lot of fun with Bigelow being over dramatic about everything (in a good way mind you) and Windham being himself. Solid and fun match.

Steiner talks about winning the TV Title and is very confused about a lot of things. He was still a comedy character at the time but a very lovable one. Magnum says a lot of people are going to be coming after Steiner for the title and Rick seems shocked by this idea. After almost freaking out over the concept that people will be coming after his title, Rick calms down instantly and says “eh I’ll beat them.” Much funnier than it sounds.

World Tag Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Road Warriors

BIG blood feud here. The Warriors turned heel and destroyed both of these guys recently (prompting Dusty to botch a blade job and nearly cut his head off, getting fired) before winning the tag titles for the first time ever in a glorified squash over the Midnight Express. The problem was they were so insanely popular and such tough guys that they were turned face again anyway, much like Orton recently.

It’s weird seeing no name graphics for these guys. Something you just get used to in the modern product I guess. Ok so the Road Warriors get them but not the challengers. Ok then. They’re called the Legion of Doom: the Road Warriors here, which is a common thing back in the 80s. Sting and Animal start us off. Dusty is allegedly a power guy. What power? The power of hunger? Sting goes after Animal’s arm and Dusty gets a nice pop when he comes in.

Ah the soon to be named Chi-Town Rumble has a date now. Rhodes’ fat is a sight to behold, although certainly not in a positive way. Hawk in now and he just beats Sting up to a solid pop, doing what we would call stomping a mudhole. It’s weird seeing Sting treated like a jobber like this. A gorilla press into a hot shot is no sold which is weird indeed but it sets up a HUGE dive from the top to the aisle onto Animal. That was SWEET.

Five minutes in now. Dusty of course, rather than going after the arm that Sting spent three minutes working on, goes for the knee because he’s a fat slob that WILL use his stupid figure four. Test of strength between Hawk and Dusty but Dusty suckers him in and of course, goes for the figure four. Hawk wants the eye that he almost put out of Dusty because he’s EVIL.

Dusty starts his fat man dancing stuff as I wonder what Dashing Cody Rhodes would think of his fatness. Dusty goes for a “dropkick” and does indeed drop when he tries it. Dusty plays Ricky Morton in a weird bit and we get a sleeper. Hot tag to Sting and house is rapidly cleaned. Scorpion on Animal but Hawk kicks him in the head. He sends Sting over the top and I can see the finish coming. Top rope cross body by Sting but Ellering pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but the crowd helped it out a lot. These were four very popular guys and that aspect carried the match. Dusty was gone soon thereafter due to his initial booking of the main event and the blade job, sending him into polka dot world. This was a basic super team tag match that didn’t go anywhere but I’ve seen far worse ones.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

If Flair gets disqualified he loses the title. Ok before I get into this match, here’s the original booking for this show. The idea was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger before the show and injure him. Luger would give his title shot to Rick Steiner of all people, because you know, wrestlers can decide title shots at the biggest show of the year. Steiner would proceed to beat Flair to win the world title IN FIVE MINUTES. Imagine say Eric Young beating AJ Styles in five minutes for the world title completely clean. This match goes over 30 minutes and is borderline classic, so it’s pretty clear that Flair, the new booker, got it right. His next idea was to sign this guy named Steamboat. I think you know the rest.

Luger is the insanely popular young gun and Flair is the evil veteran. You can’t beat that really. It didn’t hurt that other than Sting, Luger might have had the best chemistry with Flair in big matches. Luger has dropped a few pounds for speed and endurance. We get a WOO to start and Flair plays mind games. Flair starts the chops and Luger just drills him with a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Lou Thesz is here. In a surprising spot, Luger gets knocked down by a shoulder block. Gorilla press sends Flair to the floor and another one has Flair in trouble. Luger works on the back which makes sense here as his finisher is a backbreaker. Five minutes in and Luger controls firmly. Luger works on the arm and is apparently hard as a rock at this point for some reason. Chop is no sold and Flair runs.

Flair Flop as Luger has shifted to the arm. He’s working on it for awhile at least though so I can’t complain as much. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything for about another 5 or 6 years. The eternally awesome thumb to the eye takes Luger down though and Flair goes into his routine. The chops just tick Luger off though and Luger chases him to the floor where he works on the arm by wrapping it around the railing.

Ten minute mark now. Delayed vertical suplex and Flair is rocked. Luger’s big elbow misses though as it tended to do every single time. We hit the floor with Flair in control for a change. Flair and Young (referee) get into it in the ring which was always a semi-feud which was rather cool. Fifteen minutes in and Flair is finally waking up a bit. Big knee drop “hits” Luger. That move was one of the moves that clearly missed more often than ever before.

The chops tick Luger off once again and here we go again. Flair keeps chopping like an idiot and gets caught in a sleeper to a ROAR. Flair escapes with a belly to back and goes up top. Rather than your typical slam off there he gets a suplex instead for two. And now Luger puts Flair in the figure four just to mess with his mind even though he’s worked on Flair arm and back the whole time so this is really just to be a jerk. We hit 20 minutes.

Luger accidentally hits Young and Flair fires him over the top which should give Luger the title. Luger comes back with a cross body of all things off the top for two because JJ had the referee. Ten punches in the corner and Luger takes over. Another suplex and Luger calls for the Rack. More softening up first and NOW we set for the Rack. JJ distracts the referee though and Flair gets a chair shot into the knee of Luger.

Flair goes for the knee and we get to see some of Luger’s awesome selling. This is the part where both guys are basically awesome. Twenty five minutes in now. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg of course as was Flair’s trademark) and Luger begins his best orgasm impression. The fans get way behind Luger which is saying a lot as we’re in Flair country here. Luger Hulks Up and shows off his arms which are supposed to scare Flair I guess.

Reversal and the hold is broken. More knee work and Flair goes up again. There’s the slam and Flair is rocked again. It’s Superman comeback time and here comes Luger. Sunset flip gets two. Luger’s selling of the knee is awesome here. We hit the thirty minute mark and a clothesline gets two for the challenger. Crisp powerslam hits and Luger calls for the Rack. There is finally is but Luger’s knee buckles underneath him and Flair falls on top, throwing his feet on the rope for the pin.

Rating: A. This was a GREAT match with both guys controlling for long periods of time. These two were always good for a very solid match and this was no exception. Flair was great here as the heel that simply would not lose while Luger played the Superman role perfectly. The knee being the deciding factor in the end was a very nice touch as no matter how hard he tried Luger just couldn’t get to the finish line. Excellent match with a very good story being told and well worthy of a major show’s main event.

The announcers all talk about the match and how awesome Flair is. They talk about how great Luger is and how great he could wind up being and he’s right. We can hear the announcer talking about a Bunkhouse Stampede Battle Royal which was a dark match won by Junkyard Dog.

Magnum is with Flair. I wonder if he’s thinking that belt should be mine. Flair goes on a long rant about how awesome he is but is drowned out by the announcement for the battle royal. That was Luger’s LAST shot of course.

Tony talks about how great the NWA is as we fill in time. Literally he says stuff and then Ross and Caudle just say how great the company is. A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Rather good show here with everything working rather well. There’s only about one bad match on the whole show and it’s like 7 minutes long. The main event is well worth seeing and the crowd is a traditional white hot NWA 80s crowd. This is completely different from the stuff you would be seeing in WWF at the time and really does work as an alternative to it. I had a good time with this show, but unfortunately it’s the last good Starrcade in the traditional sense for a LONG time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the biggest show in wrestling history with the biggest match in wrestling history as its main event. How’s that for a standard to live up to? In case you’re one of the six wrestling fans ever that hasn’t heard of this show, the main event is Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Title against Andre the Giant in a match four years in the making. In the undercard we have the greatest match of all time. This is the first show where they treated Wrestlemania as something huge and not just a big house show, making it the first “modern” Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the arena is still quite a sight. Oh and for once and for all: there were 93,000 people there. The argument about how it doesn’t hold that many doesn’t hold up as the total often listed is for football, which requires WAY more space than a wrestling show. It would be like covering half the field with more seats. On the other hand, let’s say WWE is lying about the number. A lie? In wrestling? Surely you jest. I don’t get why people are so obsessed with proving there were less people there than claimed.

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.

Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

King Kong Bundy and his midgets say they’ll beat Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Macho Man won’t let Liz get interviewed.

We recap Race vs. JYD. Race is the King of Wrestling but Dog refuses to bow because he doesn’t think we have kings here in America. One night JYD put Race’s robe and crown on but Race decked him and tried to force JYD to bow. JYD is the Junkyard Dog in case you’re new at this.

Race, Heenan and Moolah (the Queen) says that there won’t be a new king tonight.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Hogan talks about riding to the show after hearing people telling him this was his last ride. Tonight it’s time for Andre to face the truth and all Hogan has to do is beat a 7’4 520lb giant. Andre has to beat Hogan and every Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is going to get Andre, not the dirty air or the politicians (HUH?) and Andre has to face the truth. I’ve seen the match he’s talking about probably 40 times and it still feels huge.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had left to make a movie and came back to find Piper’s Pit taken over by Adonis’ Flower Shop with Orton having sided with Adonis. Orton, Adonis, Muraco and Hart broke Piper’s leg but he came back with a ball bat and DESTROYED the Flower Shop. This is also billed as Piper’s farewell match.

Piper says he’s not going out to a man that wears a dress. No Retreat and No Surrender!

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.

Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.

Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.

The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.

Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.

Heenan and Andre say that Andre can’t be defeated and everyone knows it. Bobby’s white suit is rather awesome.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a handful of tights pins Ware.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

So far we’ve had eight matches and on average it’s probably a C- at best. I think the next one might help bring things up a bit.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. On an episode of Superstars, Savage smashed Steamboat’s throat into the barricade and crushed his larynx with the ring bell. One night on SNME, George Steele was facing Randy Savage and promised a surprise. Steele kidnapped Liz and when Savage got up, he saw Steamboat staring up at him and terror reigned.

Savage says that he’s retaining the title and is going to prove how amazing he is.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

The fans give an audible pop for Savage which even the announcers have to acknowledge. George Steele comes out to back up Steamboat and show off that green tongue. They shove each other around a few times before Randy takes an early breather. Savage misses a back elbow and Steamboat hits a pair of those perfect armdrags of his. Randy is lifted into the air via a choke and it’s back to the floor.

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

With the champion tied up, Steamboat fires away with a vengeance. Savage gets loose and Ricky hits a cross body for two, kicking off one of the fastest sets of near falls you’ll EVER see. Randy finally slows him down with a knee to the back and a toss over the ropes, only to have Ricky skin the cat. Savage throws him out again and knocks him into the crowd for good measure. The top rope ax handle keeps Steamboat down even longer and Savage is in full control.

Savage hits a clothesline for two which Gorilla doesn’t like. Gorilla: “That could be a disqualification.” Jesse: “For what?” Gorilla: “Intentional.” Jesse: “Well of course it was intentional!” Gorilla could find some weird stuff to complain about at times. After a pair of Savage suplexes for two, Ricky starts firing back and sends Savage out to the floor. A top rope chop gets two for the challenger and they speed things up all over again.

We get another chase on the floor followed by a sunset flip by the Dragon for two. They trade ANOTHER great pinfall reversal sequence as Jesse declares this one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen. A slingshot sends Savage face first into the post and there’s a sunset flip for two for the Dragon. Savage reverses an O’Connor Roll with a handful of tights for two. Randy uses the tights again and sends Dragon shoulder first into the post.

They reverse an Irish whip and the referee gets bumped. Randy hits another clothesline and drops the big elbow but there’s no referee. Savage goes to get the bell but Steele takes it away. That earns the Animal a kick in the head so he shoves Savage off the top. Steamboat is back up and famously counters a slam into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. This is the greatest match of all time so what do you expect me to give it. I’m amazed at how well this holds up nearly 26 years later as there is nothing wrong with it at all. The story goes that these two practiced this match at Savage’s house for three months beforehand and it shows. Not a thing is even close to screwed up and they’re so fast out there it’s unbelievable. How anyone can say this is anything but perfect astounds me to this day. If you haven’t seen this before, watch it now and take notes.

Alice Cooper (male rock/metal singer) is here to back up Jake Roberts against Honky and Jimmy Hart. This was set up because Honky hit Jake in the back with a guitar, which was allegedly the reason for Jake’s addiction to pain medication that has plagued him for years. Jake says Honky got his shot but didn’t make it count. His mustache alone makes him the favorite.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.

Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Gene Okerlund announces a new world indoor attendance record of 93,173. That’s awesome.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.

We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.

Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.

Andre says the next time you see him, he’ll be world heavyweight champion. Heenan says he’ll be the manager of the world champion and go down in history.

We recap Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. Andre was there three years ago when Hogan won the title and they teamed together a few times with Hogan making the save when Andre was double teamed. There’s a LONG story (not mentioned in the show because it isn’t important) about Andre getting suspended and wrestling in a mask until Bobby Heenan, the guy behind the suspension, got it lifted.

Andre appeared with Hogan in Piper’s Pit where both received trophies; Andre’s for being undefeated for fifteen years and Hogan’s for being world champion for three years. However, Andre’s trophy was noticeably smaller, prompting him to say “three years to be a champion, that’s a long time.” A few weeks later, Andre walked into the Pit with Heenan at his side and challenges Hogan for Wrestlemania. Hogan is STUNNED and has the crucifix ripped off his chest. Hogan finally agrees to fight Andre at Wrestlemania and the arena exploded. Make no mistake about it: THIS is why Wrestlemania III is the biggest show ever.

Hogan talks about how he’s going to knock the giant down and shake the world.

Bob Uecker is brought in as the guest ring announcer. Jesse says hi to Terry, Tyrell and Jade back in Minneapolis. He did this on nearly every show but never said who those people were. It was nothing secretive: it’s his wife and kids. Mary Hart is guest timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan walks to the ring and the ovation is unreal. To put it simply, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. We get the historic staredown and we’re really supposed to believe that Hogan is nine inches shorter than Andre? It’s like three at most. Hogan punches away to start but goes for a slam a minute into this and falls down, giving Andre a very close two. That right there would fuel the rematch requests for the next year. Hulk’s back is hurt and Andre starts taunting him. A big forearm hits Hogan in the back and Andre slams him twice. Andre pounds away very slowly and hits a few headbutts.

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

We head back in for the legendary ending sequence. Hogan ducks a big boot and clotheslines down. It’s Hulk Up time and in the most famous scene in wrestling history, Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant to blow the roof off the place. The big legdrop makes Hogan immortal and the title is retained.

Rating: B. Ok here’s the thing: if you think this is about the wrestling itself, you have completely missed the point here. This was about making Hogan look like the biggest star ever and to say it did that is an understatement. On top of that, the match isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but the match is nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. This was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Overall Rating: A+. There’s really no other grade to give this. It’s the biggest show of all time, the greatest match of all time is on here, and the main event has two of the most famous images of all time. This show is the pinnacle of wrestling in America and it’s never been as big as this again. There’s nothing truly bad on this show as even the weaker matches are at least really short. This show was never about the wrestling though. It’s all spectacle here and it’s an absolute must see show for any fan and it still goes by very smoothly. If you somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews