Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re inching closer to Wrestlemania and the Raw World Title match is set. Rock is going to be defending against John Cena, who locked up his spot as #1 contender after winning a masterpiece of a match against CM Punk last week. That now leaves Punk without an opponent for Wrestlemania so maybe tonight we’ll find out who that is. The rest of the card will likely continue to take shape as well. It’s also Old School Raw II which was incredibly entertaining the first time around. Let’s get to it.

After we see the new WWE logo and the old school Raw entrance from the early 90s, we hear a gong go off in the arena as the Undertaker makes his return. He appears on stage and a Wrestlemania logo appears behind him…and that’s that. Ok then. Also the set is the old RAW letters.

After a quick video on the history of Raw, (and a shot of Cole in the snappy yellow blazer and King in full royal attire), here’s CM Punk to really get us going. We have the old school red, white and blue ropes and the guardrail instead of a barricade. Punk talks about being cheated out of the world title last week by the fans (not exactly sure how) and if he isn’t fighting for the world title at Wrestlemania, what’s the point in fighting at all? Then he saw that Undertaker was back and changed his thoughts. if he can’t be world champion, he might as well be the guy that makes Undertaker 20-1.

Randy Orton comes out though because he has other ideas. Orton thinks that since he’s been the dominant predator in WWE in the last few years, he should get the chance to avenge his past loss to Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Big Show adds his name into things and says it should be a giant facing the Undertaker. Sheamus thinks he should get a shot too since he’s never lost to Undertaker, but Vickie Guerrero interrupts before anyone else can add their names. Tonight it’s a fatal fourway between Orton, Punk, Sheamus and Big Show with the winner facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here. Ryback starts off fast and rams into Cesaro to send him flying away. Back in and Ryback hits a fast suplex for no cover, sending Cesaro to the floor again. Ryback goes out to get him this time but is knocked into the old school barricade, stopping the monster cold. Cesaro throws him back in and pounds away as we take a break. Back with Cesaro countering the Meat Hook with the European Uppercut and loading up the Neutralizer, only for Ryback to counter into the Shell Shock in mid lift for the pin at 8:01.

Rating: D+. This is getting stale in a hurry. As I’ve complained about on Smackdown lately, having the same match over and over again isn’t interesting but rather repetitive. We don’t gain anything from seeing Ryback beat Cesaro over and over again. It doesn’t do anything for either guy and other than the ending, this wasn’t anything interesting.

Post match Mark Henry comes out and stares down Ryback but walks past him towards the ring instead of starting a fight.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry

This is about what you would expect: Ryder gets in a few punches and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin at 54 seconds.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Miz has something to say but can’t get his microphone to work. Once he does, he introduces Ric Flair to be in his corner. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler takes over with some shots in the corner. Miz fights back with a shot to the face and sends Ziggler out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler kicking Miz in the leg and putting on a chinlock, complete with a fancy bridge. Miz fights up and pounds away on Ziggler before sliding through his legs for two off a sunset flip.

The Reality Check gets two and Miz goes after the knee, only to be caught in a DDT. The Zig Zag is avoided but Ziggler grabs the sleeper hold instead. Miz rolls out of it and tosses Ziggler in the air so he crashes onto the mat below. A corner clothesline by Miz sets up the top rope ax handle but as the referee is checking on Ziggler, big E. Langston attacks Miz. Flair goes after Langston to no avail, but back in the ring Miz takes out Ziggler’s leg and puts on the Figure Four for the submission at 10:14.

Rating: C-. I was hoping we were away from the whole Miz/Flair thing but naturally we have to keep it going. It doesn’t make anyone look better but rather just gets makes Miz look like a guy doing stuff completely against his nature. The Figure Four doesn’t fit for him and it’s not like the hold is a big upgrade for him or anything. I’m thinking Ziggler doesn’t get the title anymore, as he becomes more of a jobber every night.

It’s time for Point/Counterpoint with the Rock and John Cena so here’s the WWE Champion. Rock has to wait for the fans to stop cheering before he can talk. He talks about being in Panama recently but he knew he was coming to Raw so he was packing. Apparently a woman at the airport named Donna said he needed a jacket. Rock called her Sally because it doesn’t matter what her name is, but he doesn’t need a jacket because of the electricity inside him.

Then he got here and SWEET GOODNESS it was COLD. Not that it mattered though because FINALLY the Rock had come back to Buffalo. He’s been looking forward to this day for a long time because it means we’re 34 days from Wrestlemania. Cue John Cena for an interruption, or perhaps he’s the counterpoint. Cena talks about how Rock has conquered everything he’s done and therefore doesn’t know what it’s like to fail. Last year Cena talked about how he had to win the match last year but he didn’t do that.

The fans chant CENA SUCKS as Cena talks about how this is his chance to rewrite history. It was no coincidence that he won the Royal Rumble on the same night that Rock won the WWE Title or that he finally beat Punk when it mattered most. The loss to the Rock is the reason everything fell apart for him last year but he gets a chance to rewrite history and he won’t let it pass by.

Rock is glad to see the fire back in Cena because Cena was the man that Rock wanted to face at Wrestlemania. The Rock knows what the WWE Championship means to Cena and that no one in the WWE locker room has the fire and desire to win like Cena……except the Rock. As much as it means to Cena, it means that much more to the Rock. When the Rock gets to connect with all of the fans, that means more to Rock than anything.

Cena quotes WWE Hall of Famer Mike Tyson by talking about wanting to eat Rock’s children. It’s a shame that Tyson is remembered for that, because Tyson also said that in order to be the best man living, you have to beat everyone else. The Rock is the only thing Cena hasn’t been able to conquer. At Wrestlemania 29, the Rock’s time is up and Cena’s time is now. Rock says his time is just getting started. He has a quote for Cena: winning is about heart, but you have to have it in the right place. That’s from Lance Armstrong and he was full of nonsense just like Cena.

Cena says Rock has the same confidence that he had a year ago. In 34 days, Cena is making history by becoming the WWE Champion again. Rock says the difference between the two of them is that Cena thinks he can beat Rock but Rock knows he can beat Cena. At Wrestlemania, Rock is beating Cena again, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Jack Swagger vs. Jim Duggan

Swagger gets no entrance and Duggan has Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes with him. Jack steals the 2×4 and stands on the floor for a bit before bringing the board into the ring with him and knocking out Duggan with it. He beats up the other legends as well and I don’t think the bell ever rang to end this. We’ll say it lasted about 45 seconds.

Swagger puts Duggan in the ankle lock post match.

We get a trailer for Marine 3.

After a break, Swagger says this is his America, but Del Rio jumps him, triggering a brawl in the back.

Ted DiBiase Sr. is at ringside for the next match.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

This is non-title and apparently if the Players win, DiBiase might be their manager. Kane and Young start things off but it’s quickly off to Bryan to work on Young’s arm. He fires off kicks at Darren and dropkicks him down for two. Off to Titus who runs over Bryan and suplexes Young down onto Daniel’s chest. Back to Darren for some fist drops for two before it’s back to Titus.

After a quick chinlock, Bryan avoids a charging Titus in the corner. It’s off to Kane vs. Young now with the big man running over Darren. A low dropkick has Young in trouble and there are some clotheslines in the corner. A side slam gets two for Kane as everything breaks down. Titus is low bridged to the floor and Bryan hits the running knee off the apron to take him down. Darren goes up to the middle rope but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 3:45.

As Tensai (now called Sweet T) and Brodus dance, here’s Honky Tonk Man. Before he can say anything though, the dancing fat guys’ opponents, 3MB, takes his mic away. Slater tells him to go back to Vegas with the other Elvis impersonators and get out of the ring.

3MB vs. Tensai/Brodus Clay

It’s Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater here. Drew pounds away in the corner to start but gets rolled up and pinned in 25 seconds.

Post match everyone dances and Slater gets hit with a guitar.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Fandango has a good looking ballroom dancer with him. Before the match though, Fandango says he won’t debut until Justin Roberts can pronounce his name correctly. Roberts tries a few times but Fandango isn’t pleased. No match.

We recap the HHH/Lesnar confrontation that opened Raw last week.

Here’s HHH to address Lesnar. The name graphic says that HHH is a superstar instead of the COO or whatever his job title is. HHH says he hasn’t been in the ring since eight days after Summerslam. He talked about how he might be done but he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince us or himself. After the cast was off, he was right back in the gym training. He didn’t have a goal in mind though because he was doing his day job in a suit, even cutting his hair to look the part.

Then he found himself sitting in a hospital room next to an old man that just had hip replacement surgery. HHH put aside his wife and kids crying, because now he had a reason. Then the old man got out of his bed and got beaten up by Brock Lesnar again, but it made HHH happy because now he has a reason. If Lesnar thinks they’re done, reach on top of your head and feel the staples that closed the cut on Lesnar’s head. HHH says it’s no coincidence that he’s here five weeks from Wrestlemania, because he’s calling Lesnar out. It’s up to Lesnar now.

Shield talks about how Sheamus, Orton and Big Show are throwing their hat in the ring to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Rollins talks about how Shield has an undefeated streak of their own, so maybe people trying to make history should remember that the eye of justice is always watching. Big Show isn’t getting another cheap shot on them either like he did on Smackdown.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title of course. Wade pounds away in the corner to start but gets caught in the Backstabber for his efforts. Swagger and Colter come out to watch on the stage. Barrett slides back in and hits Winds of Change for two before dropping some elbows for the same. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Del Rio fights up and grabs the cross armbreaker on the ropes. He has to break at four though, allowing Barrett to hit a big boot to the face, sending the world champion to the floor.

Some knees to Del Rio’s head get two but Barrett misses a middle rope elbow. Del Rio kicks Barrett in the face and some clotheslines put him down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Wade down and a low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Alberto charges into another boot though and Barrett loads up the pumphandle slam. Del Rio easily escapes though and the cross armbreaker gets the submission for Alberto at 4:56.

Rating: C. This is another match that is rapidly joining the list of matches we’ve seen and don’t need to see again for a long time. Again, is there ANYONE else that could be used to put Del Rio over than the Intercontinental Champion? The title is a prop now because Barrett constantly loses and he never defends the stupid belt. That’s what makes it a prop: no one wanting the title. If no one wants it, why should I care that Barrett owns it?

It’s time for another Colter/Swagger video. They don’t like the backlash they’re receiving for some of their opinions. They like the times when you could be mad about someone taking something that belongs to you. Real Americans refuse to use politically correct terms. The best thing people can do is respect them, because if not there will be real Americans that are ready to fight for them.

Here are the New Age Outlaws apparently for a match. We get a censored version of the signature entrance and you can see the younger fans confused by what they’re seeing. The older ones are loving it though, which si the point of a show like this.

New Age Outlaws vs. Primo/Epico

Dogg and Epico get things started and there are the shaking punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two for Roadie. Primo distracts Dogg though and Epico gets in a dropkick to take over. The cousins work over Roadie with Epico hitting a slingshot elbow for no cover. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Roadie fights up and the two of them collide. Hot tag brings in Billy who pounds away on both guys before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down and the Fameasser ends Primo at 2:58.

We recap the Rock/Cena segment from earlier.

We get some TOUTING IT OUT from the fans about tonight’s events.

We have a lot of birthday cakes and cupcakes for Mae Young’s 90^th birthday and most of the roster is here to celebrate. Mean Gene comes out to introduce Mae and the Divas help her to the ring. Everyone sings Happy Birthday to her but CM Punk interrupts. Well that was rude.

CM Punk vs. Sheamus vs. Big Show vs. Randy Orton

I think this is one fall to a finish. There are no tags so everyone is in the ring at once. Punk heads to the floor but Orton and Sheamus go out to surround him. Punk slides back in and has to fight Big Show which goes as badly as you would expect for him. Sheamus and Orton try their luck on Big Show and are both knocked down almost immediately. Orton finally gets him to the floor, giving us Sheamus vs. Randy for a bit.

Orton hits the backbreaker and Punk tries to steal a pin to no avail. The Irish Curse puts Orton down and Punk tries to steal it again. This time though Sheamus catches him and the good guys toss him to the outside. Big Show is back though and a single shot puts both Sheamus and Orton down as we take a break.

Back with Punk in control of Orton but Randy comes back with the powerslam. A t-bone suplex puts Punk down for two but Punk escapes the Elevated DDT. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder for two but seems to be limping a bit. There are the ten forearms to Punk’s chest but Big Show takes Sheamus down with the Final Cut for two. Punk breaks it up and fires off knees to Show’s head.

Show pops back up though and knocks Punk out with the WMD. Sheamus tries to fight Show and spears him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. The WMD misses Sheamus and a kind of cross body takes Big Show down. The giant comes right back though, only to miss a Vader Bomb. White Noise puts Big Show down but it only gets two.

Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick on Show but Orton catches him in the powerslam. A chokeslam puts down both Orton and Sheamus but the one on Sheamus only gets two. The WMD misses Sheamus and the Brogue Kick lays out Big Show. An RKO lays out Sheamus but Punk comes in with a GTS for the pin on Orton at 12:40.

Rating: C+. While it was pretty obvious that Punk was winning here, the match wasn’t bad at all. They did the right thing by having everyone moving around quickly and the finish was nicely done. Punk vs. Undertaker is a solid match and definitely the second biggest match on the show. It wasn’t Punk vs. Cena but it did what it was supposed to do.

Post match Undertaker comes out to stare down Punk to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was good and bad at the same time. The good stuff here was the Wrestlemania build. The card seems to be mostly set now and it’s time to push towards the show. That stuff, mainly Rock vs. Cena, was good for the most part. Then we get to the bad stuff, which is the Old School stuff. As I’ve mentioned before, having legends come out over and over again doesn’t do much for the fans other than the older ones.

If you want to do nostalgia, use people like the Outlaws or bring in Val Venis or Godfather or freaking Steve Blackman or something like that. You know, people from the Attitude Era that is now apparently the GREATEST THING EVER in wrestling. On top of that, guys like Duggan, DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man and most of the other legends here were barely ever even on Raw other than Flair and the Outlaws. Use nostalgia correctly people. I assure you it’s not that hard.

Results

Ryback b. Antonio Cesaro – Shell Shock

Mark Henry b. Zack Ryder – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Figure Four Leg Lock

Jim Duggan b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger hit Duggan with a 2×4

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. 3MB – Rollup to McIntyre

Alberto Del Rio b. Wade Barret – Cross Armbreaker

New Age Outlaws b. Epico/Primo – Fameasser to Primo

CM Punk b. Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton – GTS to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Have you ever noticed that you never hear anything about Raw from 1994-1996? It strikes me as odd that no one every talks about it so why not take a look at an episode from one of those years? We’ve got four weeks from Wrestlemania here and Shawn Micahels is on the way to the main event to face Bret Hart for the world title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick preview, which says we’re going to get an announcement on the Ultimate Warrior, a film from Goldust in Piper’s Pit, plus Shawn vs. 1-2-3 Kid and Bret vs. HHH.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Kid tries to charge at Shawn but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. The match actually starts and there’s a headlock from Kid to get us going. Kid is heel here and I believe is part of the Million Dollar Corporation, or at worst just left them very recently. Shawn speeds things up but gets elbowed in the ribs to slow him down. Kid poses a lot and gets caught in a sunset flip for two followed by a gorilla press. A clothesline puts Kid on the floor and Shawn skins the cat back in.

Bret is shown watching in the back and says some of the stuff Shawn is getting away with here wouldn’t work on him. A headlock takeover puts Kid down and Shawn cranks on the head for a bit. Back up and Kid hits a BIG spin wheel kick to take Shawn’s head off and a dropkick puts Shawn on the floor. A springboard dive over the top takes Shawn out and the Kid pounds away for good measure. DiBiase (yep Kid is still in the Corporation) gets in a cheap shot which doesn’t please Bret.

Back in and Kid stomps away and hits a quick running dropkick in the corner for two more. We take a break and come back with Kid getting two off something we didn’t see. Off to a chinlock but Shawn fights up. Kid hits an enziguri to puts Shawn back down and it’s off to the chinlock again. Back up again and Shawn hits a running clothesline and there’s the nip up. Shawn pounds away and hits a moonsault onto a standing Kid. The top rope elbow looks to set up the superkick but Kid bails to the outside. Back in again and the Kid kicks him down but a guillotine legdrop misses. Sweet Chest Music hits and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly Bret vs. Kid from a few years ago but it was still pretty good stuff. This is the kind of stuff you don’t get anymore: a main eventer getting to beat up a midcarder that he doesn’t have much of a history again. The midcard guy gets to look good because he has nothing to lose and the star gets a win over someone credible. And before you ask, no this doesn’t count when it’s the same match over and over again. Then it’s just repetitive and boring.

Post match Shawn dances with a little girl in the ring. This match is on the My Journey DVD.

We get a look at a film by Marlena called Piper’s Pit. Goldie is in a kilt and on the old Piper’s Pit set. He quotes Sunset Boulevard and says that he’s always admired Piper over the years. We hear about Piper’s lips and this is getting uncomfortable, which is the idea of the character. This goes on for a bit longer and we get the point already. Goldust plays the bagpipes and that’s that.

We look at the career of Ultimate Warrior, who is coming back at Wrestlemania.

Hakushi vs. Justin Bradshaw

Yeah it’s that Bradshaw. Roddy Piper calls in to keep us from having to watch this match. Of note to 2013 fans: Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah with him, who is currently known as Zeb Colter. Vince thanks President Piper for bringing back the Warrior and the opponent will be announced next week (it’s HHH). Bradshaw is running over Hakushi as we’re firmly in squash land here.

Piper promises to be in San Antonio for Raw next week as the beating continues. Hakushi gets in a few kicks but Bradshaw kicks him in the face to stop that cold. A powerslam on the floor puts Hakushi down and it’s back inside for a boot and the lariat for the pin. Total squash here that is barely too short to rate, thank goodness.

Bradshaw and Zeb hogtie and brand Hakushi post match.

Mankind talks about being a dangerous child and wondering about some evil man. This guy scared me to death as a kid.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart

Non-title here. We get going with HHH taking over via a knee to the ribs. Apparently HHH is undefeated on Raw so you can tell this is early in his run. Bret comes back with a snapmare and pounds away on the ribs. Off to an armbar and other arm work as Shawn walks out to sit at ringside. We take a break and come back with Back with Bret going right back to the arm where he can stare at Shawn.

HHH fights up but gets caught by a cross body for two. Hart gets thrown to the floor right in front of Shawn who does nothing at all. Bret yells at him anyway because he’s a paranoid nutjob and even manages to stop a diving HHH with a punch to the ribs. Vince thinks Shawn and HHH might be working together. Nah that could never happen. Bret controls the arm again but HHH hits the jumping knee to put Bret down again.

HHH pounds away in the corner and Vince is starting to panic. Bret gets whipped HARD into the corner twice in a row followed by the Flair knee drop for two. We take another break and come back with HHH jumping off a rope into a raised boot from the Hitman. Vince says it was from the middle rope before calling an atomic drop a spinebuster. Bret comes back with a bulldog and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. The elbow gets two and Bret is frustrated, allowing HHH to get two off an O’Connor Roll.

They fight to the floor again with Bret taking control again. Trips backs away but suckers Bret in for a boot to the ribs. Not that it matters much though as HHH goes up to the middle rope and dives right into the Sharpshooter for the submission. It’s rather amusing now to hear Vince talking about his future son-in-law and the future boss of the company the way he does here.

Rating: C. Not bad here with HHH doing what he could to hang in there with Bret. You could see the flashes of skill coming through but this was about Bret getting to dominate a guy as only he could. Shawn being down there was a nice mind game being played which wasn’t something you often got outside of Undertaker back in the day.

Now it’s time for a shot at WCW as we get TV Trivia, with the contestants Billionaire Ted and some annoying chick. Basically it’s a bunch of disrespectful lines from Turner used to make fun of him. It isn’t funny and I don’t think most of the fans got the joke, nor did they care. The girl keeps beating her by making more jokes at Ted’s expense. There’s also a fake Randy Savage. You know, the guy that got thrown out by Vince and then was a big deal in WCW later on? Stupid, stupid, stupid and thankfully it ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show here as we focus on the main event of Wrestlemania as we should. The rest…..it exists. The squash was exactly what it was supposed to be and the TV Trivia bit was dumb and no one cared. Vince was about to be in more trouble than even he could get himself out of, but we’ll get to that eventually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

He didn’t actually do anything, but there’s a fatal fourway tonight to determine his opponent.  It’ll either be Sheamus, Big Show, Orton or Punk (read as: Punk).

As I mentioned last week, I’m going to be listing off my five favorites of various things every day this week.  Today, we’re starting off with Pay Per Views.  You can click on the name of the show for my review.  Let’s get to it.Honorable Mention: Money in the Bank 2011.  If there’s a better recent PPV out there from top to bottom, I don’t know what it is.  This ran away with show of the year for 2011 and never looked back.  The main event is one of the best matches I have ever seen and I was literally sitting on the edge of my bed watching it.  The match still holds up today (granted that’s not saying much) but it’s still great.  The other stuff on the card is excellent too.

Honorable Mention: Uncensored 1996. This show is the epitome of “how bad can this possibly get”.  It’s hilariously entertaining and Heenan reaches Mystery Science Theater levels of riffing on the main event.  It’s also by far and away the funniest review I’ve ever written and probably the one I’m most proud of.  If you’re ever in a mood to laugh at wrestling, check out the Doomsday Cage match and I guarantee the more you think about it, the more you’ll laugh at it.

5. Wrestlemania 28. As great as the main event of MITB 11 was, Rock vs. Cena reached a point that I’ve never reached as a wrestling fan: I had to see the match.  I didn’t care if it was good or bad or anywhere in between, but I had to see it.  That’s the point of building up a show and for a fan as jaded as I am, it says a lot that it actually worked.  Again, the rest of the card is very solid stuff on top of the main event.

4. Beach Blast 1992. This is probably my favorite WCW card ever.  It has two classics that aren’t remembered like they should be in Sting vs. Cactus Jack in a falls count anywhere match that Foley called his favorite/best match ever for years.  You also get a thirty minute Iron Man match with Rude vs. Steamboat which is fast paced for almost the entire time.  There’s also a really good tag title match to close the show.  This is definitely worth checking out, but watch it out of order.  Watch Sting vs. Jack last and you’ll enjoy the show a lot more.

3. One Night Stand 2005. This is one of the most entertaining shows you’ll ever see.  Anyone that has followed me over the years knows that I LOATHE ECW and everything that it stood for.  That being said, this show is a blast to watch and still entertains me to this day.  The WWE allowed it to be run like an ECW show with ECW talent and a big ECW spectacle to end the show.  The big ECW beer bash with Bischoff getting destroyed is endlessly entertaining and the rest of the show is just as good.  If you’re a wrestling fan, you should see this show.

2. Summerslam 1990. Pure personal nostalgia here as this was the first PPV I ever got at my house and I went through at least two copies of the tape.  That being said, it’s still a pretty entertaining show with Hogan returning for revenge against Earthquake for injuring him, Ultimate Warrior defending the title against Rude in a cage, a show long angle of Sapphire disappearing, and a wicked tag match with the Hart Foundation shocking the world and beating Demolition for the tag titles.  It’s worth checking out.

1. Wrestlemania X7.  This is the greatest show of all time, period.  Seriously, that’s all you need to know about it.  The main event feels like the main event of the biggest show of the year, this incarnation of the tag division reached its apex with TLC 2, HHH vs. Undertaker have a forgotten classic, Angle vs. Benoit is Angle vs. Benoit, and it has the FREAKING GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL.  All this in front of 68,000 people a week after the WWF has officially conquered the wrestling world.  It’s the peak of the company’s history and absolutely required viewing for wrestling fans.

 

Monday Nitro #77
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,693
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Uncensored and we need to get the main event established already. So far we know it’s Team WCW vs. Team NWO but if my memory is right, tonight we’ll hear about a third team being added. This show would be going against Raw in Germany which had Bulldog vs. Owen in one of the best TV matches ever, so I think Nitro is going to lose in the quality war tonight. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives in what looks like a Hummer limo. After they come in another limo pulls up, containing Dr. Harvey Schiller, the real head of Turner Sports. Again with WCW’s idea of having real suits with no connection to the business playing themselves.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Morrus and Jarrett get us going and it’s time to talk about the Dr. that showed up earlier on. Jarrett speeds things up and takes Morrus down with a shoulder and an atomic drop. Morrus comes back with right hands and brings in Konnan with the rolling clothesline. Morrus tries a spinning cross body while Konnan holds Jarrett, but Jeff low blows K-Dawg and Konnan takes the fat man. Mongo cleans house but here’s Public Enemy. Jarrett swings the briefcase at Rocco but it blasts Mongo for the pin.

Rating: D-. How many weeks in a row have we seen these two have some kind of a mishap that leads to a pin? It seemed to go on for months on end and it would continue over the summer. Jarrett didn’t get over because of this and he made the right move by jumping to the WWF in the fall.

Here are Anderson and Flair to complain about the miscommunication. Jarrett says that he’s Horsemen material but Flair gets in his face. Ric says Jarrett is making Flair look bad. Now THAT says a lot. Mongo yells a lot and Debra starts talking, drawing some LOUD booing. She doesn’t want to be on a losing team so GET IT TOGETHER.

Rick Fuller vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Fuller is a big guy standing probably 6’7. Page works on the arm to start followed by a belly to back. Fuller powers him down and drops a leg for two. The fans chant for DDP so he hits the spinning clothesline to take Fuller down. A slam is reversed into the Diamond Cutter for the easy pin. Fuller had a good look.

Page talks about the NWO beating him down last week and focuses on Savage in particular. He tells Savage to snap into the Diamond Cutter.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ray Mendoza Jr.

That’s Mendoza, not Mysterio and he’s more famous as Villano IV. Mendoza tries to make this a technical match by taking it to the mat which makes sense against Guerrera. Juvy is like screw that in Spanish and hits a pair of ranas to send Mendoza to the floor. The plancha misses though and Mendoza takes over again. Back in an overhead belly to belly gets two. Juvy takes over and hits a springboard legdrop for two.

Off to a chinlock so the guys can catch their breath which is fine. Back up and a victory roll into a rana gets two for Juvy. Mendoza gets backdropped to the floor and they ignore the DQ rule because they want to. Juvy hits a suicide dive but Mendoza kicks away at him anyway. A slingshot rana brings Mendoza back in and they both go to the corner. They both go up and Mendoza gets crotched. A spinwheel kick puts him down and the 450 (to the knees) ends this.

Rating: D+. This was a lot sloppier than you would expect. The match wasn’t bad but other than Rey, you could more or less throw any Cruiserweight from another country and throw him in these spots and it would be about the same. Then again, this was still pretty new stuff at the time so it’s ok.

Kevin Sullivan, Jackie and Jimmy Hart take over the announcers’ desk and Jackie takes credit for Benoit and Woman not being here. She challenges any man on the roster, throwing out names like Hogan, Nash and Savage. Why is she allowed to talk? Who thinks it’s a good idea?

Hank Aaron is here.

Mike Enos vs. Dean Malenko

Malenko is all fired up here because of Eddie ticking him off and costing him the title if I remember right. He chokes Enos in the corner and takes out the knee. They head to the floor and Malenko works on the leg using the barricade. Back in and Enos finally gets in a knee lift to slow Dean down. And never mind as Dean takes the knee out again almost immediately. Malenko hits a top rope cross body but Enos rolls through for two. A clothesline puts Malenko down but a splash misses. Enos tries a slam but Dean small packages him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically just a squash but it was fun to see Dean going OFF like this, showing emotion for almost the first time in his career. He would pick up the US Title at the PPV, which should have been a step up in the card for him and to a degree it was, but he never really moved past that. To be fair, Malenko didn’t exactly have the charisma to get much higher.

Dean says he’ll do that to anyone that gets in his way.

Here’s Bischoff who says he would love to put up the NWO’s belts at Uncensored because they’re awesome like that. As he brags about how great the NWO is, here’s Harvey Schiller. Once we actually explain who he is (he’s in charge of Turner’s Sports and Bischoff’s real life boss), he says that Bischoff has to follow rules which he hasn’t been doing. Therefore, Eric is SUSPENDED. This was a big deal and it was one of the first big shots that WCW got back against the NWO. And of course WCW capitalized on it and won the war within 4 months right?

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Eddie is defending. The fans chant USA and it’s a feeling out process to start. Eddie takes him down with a headscissors but gets sent to the floor. Sonny tries to fire some kicks but Eddie is having none of that. He will however have some of Dragon’s kicks, including a spinwheel kick to take him down. Eddie rolls through a cross body and even though his feet are in the ropes, Dragon’s shoulder was up and Eddie is rolling on top of Dragon, the pin counts. That was a major botch of some kind and Eddie looks stunned by whatever happened.

Eddie says he’s tried to apologize to Dean so here’s Malenko in the flesh. Dean says he knows what Eddie’s true colors are and Eddie has no idea what’s going on. They yell a lot and that’s about it.

Hour #2 begins.

Scotty Riggs vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a fine example of people that remember Nitro being all drama and young guys having great matches. A lot of the time we had stuff like this to sit through. Riggs takes over quickly and hits a double ax to the head for two. Wallstreet sends him to the floor and does nothing out there, so let’s go back inside.

Schiller has officially made the main event for Uncensored, but it’s going to be a three way match with Piper having a team as well. We hit the chinlock but Riggs jawbreaks his way out of it. Elbow drop misses and Wallstreet takes over again. Riggs comes back with a middle rope missile dropkcik and a top rope sunset flip for two. And here’s Buff Bagwell for the DQ because MICHAEL FREAKING WALLSTREET has to be protected.

Rating: D. This got four minutes and a DQ finish. Look at the participants in this match for a minute and let that sink in. Riggs vs. Bagwell was such a pathetic feud and it was about as close to the Billy and Chuck of their day as you can get. Nothing here and for the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t just have a regular ending.

Piper is here because I guess he heard the announcement about getting a team and warped over. He talks about beating Hogan twice and calls the Outsiders cloned monkeys. Piper has two families: one in Oregon and one here with the fans. He’s going to make a third family out of people he…..oh sweet goodness not this. He’s going to have a series of tryouts tonight and the three winners make his team. Assuming there was nothing set up in a different kind of time frame, this was all set up within the last eight minutes or so. The fans are going to get to decide who makes his team.

Now keep in mind: three of these six guys will headline a WINNER TAKE ALL match on PPV in 13 days. Piper gets down to his trunks and the first guy is…..some dude in jeans. Tony: “I have no idea who that is.” Piper takes him down in an amateur position and the guy taps to a hammerlock very quickly. That’s a thumbs down.

Guy #2 is Horshu, who is more famous as Luther Reigns, who isn’t named Horshu yet and would only become a WCW Saturday Night guy in a few years. He fires off some left hands but gets put to sleep quickly.

#3 is a guy but “some guy with boxing gloves” jumps him. He looks like a cross between Eugene and Steve Williams. Piper has boxing gloves in his trunks for no apparent reason and let’s have a boxing match. Piper punches him into oblivion, gets knocked down then beats up Boxing Guy again, until Boxing Guy takes out the legs. The fans are starting to boo. Piper says bring it on and eventually gives the guy a spot on his team.

Wait we’re not done with Boxing guy because Piper says the fans are being too harsh so let’s fight some more. They take the gloves off and fight for about 20 more seconds before finally giving up on it.

#4 (I guess?) is a big fat guy who REALLY looks like Steve Williams. He’s barefoot so Tenay declares him a martial artist. Heenan: “He’s barefoot and tattooed. Sounds like the winner of the Miss Kentucky contest.” Piper gets kicked down but comes back with kicks of his own. He’s a legit black belt in Judo so he actually knows what he’s doing in a fight. This is before the letters UFC meant anything though, as they were only on their 12th show. The martial artist (none of them have had a name so far) gets totally gassed but tries to throw Piper out anyway. Piper escapes and gives this guy a spot on the team.

The final guy is John Tenta who at least gets a reaction because people know who he is. After a quick fight, the other teammates get in and it’s a big brawl. There’s the team I guess. Piper says it’s war with the NWO now. Thankfully this lasted about 5 minutes before WCW forgot these people existed and put in Jarrett, Benoit and Mongo instead. This got EIGHTEEN MINUTES. Let that sink in for a minute.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mr. JL

Prince Iaukea gets to talk during this match for some reason. Rey takes over to start with a corkscrew dive for two. JL throws him into the air and brings him down into a DDT for a delayed two. He goes up but misses a diving headbutt. They go to the floor and JL hits a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Rey ranas him down for two. Rey finally gets to the apron and hits the West Coast Pop for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY awkward match. It wasn’t terrible I guess but these two might as well have been wrestling blindfolded. They didn’t click at all and it felt like they were going with random moves instead of any kind of match with a flow or story at all. Just didn’t work at all.

Madusa is here and says she’s been here for more than a year. She threw away a title belt to open up women’s wrestling but can’t get on TV because of Bischoff. Gee what a shock. This goes on for awhile with her talking about how great women are until Luna Vachon debuts and jumps her.

Here’s the NWO in full force with “Sting”. Wait that’s actually him. Ok then. Eric says that they’re not worried about Schiller because they’re friends with Ted. Hogan makes fun of Piper’s team and Savage says Piper needs a psychiatrist. This somehow takes seven minutes to get through.

Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Rick and Lex get things started as we’re rapidly running out of time. Lex takes him into the corner and Rick comes back with punches. Luger shows off the power and down goes Dog Face. Off to Scott as this is the Steiners’ first match back from the car wreck. Scott hits a butterfly powerbomb and it’s off to Giant who gets the crowd fired up. Rick tags himself in and comes off the middle rope with an ax handle to take him down. A GREAT double suplex puts Giant down for two. Everyone stops to stare at each other and it’s NWO time. Sting stands with the NWO and the match just kind of ends.

Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for the sake of standing around until the NWO ran in to end the match. These four would wind up being Team WCW at the PPV which would be fine as all four had reason to face the NWO guys. This could have been a big time tag match too.

Piper and company come in through the crowd and the brawl finally gets going to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was a horrible show on all accounts. All of the matches were either barely watchable or horrible, there was a nearly 20 minute segment that got booed out of the building, and other than the Bischoff suspension (you know, the guy that was back an hour and a half later saying it meant nothing), NOTHING happened on this show. Terrible episode here and one of the worst in the history of the show.

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Everyone else does them….Why doesn’t WWE or TNA or whoever have wrestlers record audio commentaries for their DVDs?  It takes barely any time at all and would be a nice bonus feature to have.  You could easily keep it kayfabe or break it even further and it wouldn’t cost much of anything.  It’s been done before (at least on the WM 2000 DVD and a few others) so why not make this a regular thing?

Spring Stampede 2000
Date: April 16, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,556
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

 

This is a show I’ve wanted to do for a good while now. Russo and Bischoff are in charge now and have rebooted WCW. In short, all titles are vacant and will be decided tonight in a bunch of tournaments and random one off matches. The interesting thing to me is that the titles were vacated on Monday before this show. What was the card for the PPV before they did that? Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about Russo vs. Flair and Russo stealing Flair’s Rolex watch. Also Eric has recently turned on Hogan and made the New Blood. Oh and they brought back the stupid Hummer angle (even though it was a different color) and had Bischoff driving it.

 

For those of you that don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, in 1999 there was a BLACK (this was white) Hummer trying to run over various people. The question was who was driving it. It was heavily implied to be Sid and everyone assumed it was him. Bischoff brought it back 9 months later after everyone had forgotten about it. Amazingly enough, no one cared at all.

 

Eric yells at Kidman, Torrie and Russo.

 

Hudson runs down the participants so fast that we can’t keep up with them. I’ll try to give you the brackets as the show goes on but don’t hold me to that.

 

Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mamalukes vs. Team Package

 

Team Package, Flair and Luger, say that Flair is in street clothes because Russo has made it a street fight. Who wears golf clothes to a street fight? I think Team Package are the faces here but I have no idea for the most part. The Mamalukes have Disco Inferno with them. I have no idea if there has been another round before this one or if there were only four teams in the whole thing.

 

After taking a good while with the intros, here’s Russo to shake things up a bit. Russo says this isn’t an even playing field because you have two rookies against two established veterans so let’s even this up a bit. He adds the Harris Brothers to make it 4-2. After a beatdown to start Flair fights back and gets the Figure Four on Johnny the Bull, only to let it go for no apparent reason.

 

Vito kicks Flair’s head off and they’re legal to start. This is a one night tournament. Luger comes in because he can and the handicap aspect of the match starts to become a lot more clear. Flair wrestling in street clothes looks weird. He tries to go up top but gets slammed off by a Harris Brother. Everything breaks down again and Disco sends Luger into the post, only to get decked by Liz.

 

Two “security” guys come out and take Disco out. No idea who they are. Oh ok this is something to do with the Mamaluke angle that sucked. Hot tag to Luger and after waiting on Vito to jump on him, house is cleaned and Bull is racked after heel miscommunication, sending Team Package to the finals.

 

Rating: D+. It’s just a big brawl but it wasn’t boring. Flair and Luger having to fight off the insane odds was fine I guess but it’s not like the odds ever really came into play after the first minute or so. Flair was pretty easily able to fight off both Harris Brothers and the other Mamaluke, making this pretty weak overall.

 

Mike Awesome is the surprise 8^th entrant in the US Title tournament and fights Ernest Miller later. He’s not afraid of Cat and Bigelow comes up to complain about Awesome being in the tournament. Awesome decks him from behind.

 

We recap Jimmy Hart vs. a radio show host. Yes this is happening on a PPV.

 

Mancow vs. Jimmy Hart

 

Hart has some big guy out there with him and is wearing a Howard Stern t-shirt. I don’t recognize the guy but Hart is able to find people at will so it’s not exactly surprising. Mancow is a celebrity in Chicago so the crowd is completely one sided. The big guy is named Hail. Mancow comes out with his entourage including some hot women. Mancow runs his mouth for a bit and the “match” begins. Seriously what are you expecting here? It’s a bit under three minutes long and there’s a ref bump and a chair shot. Hail interferes and Mancow wins anyway.

 

Kidman comes out to beat up Hart for no apparent reason.

 

Russo yells at the four guys that Team Package beat.

 

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: The Wall vs. Scott Steiner

 

Steiner comes out to his old Steiner Brothers theme here for some reason. This is New Blood vs. New Blood. They’re both power brawlers and they completely live up to those stereotypes here. Steiner pounds away in the corner then Wall pounds away in the corner. Sting is the only member of the Millionaire’s Club in this particular tournament. Wall takes a low blow and Steiner hits a belly to belly to take over.

 

Now Steiner takes a low blow. Are you noticing the whole mirror image thing? Have you noticed how stupid the all No DQ rules are really freaking stupid? Oh wait there are disqualifications but they have to be REALLY big things to cause one. Remember that. We go to the floor and Wall pulls out a table. Steiner blocks a chokeslam through it and a blinded Wall chokeslams the referee through it for the lame DQ.

 

Rating: F+. It was stupid but they had to hurry through it because they have about 13 matches to get through tonight. Wall was a guy who was supposed to be all insane and crazy but when you’re up against Scott Steiner, your craziness is kind of overshadowed. This was nothing significant and was just a way to get Steiner to the final four quickly.

 

Ernest Miller isn’t worried about Awesome. There’s a James Brown reference for no apparent reason and Bigelow drops Miller.

 

US Title Tourament Quarter-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Ernest Miller

 

This is six days after Awesome, still ECW Champion at the time, ran in on Nitro after jumping ship. Bigelow jumps Awesome and has taken Miller’s spot it seems. Well sure why not. Big dive to the floor takes Bigelow out and then dumps him into the crowd. Awesome busts out an Ahmed Johnson style dive over the railing as the brawl keeps going. Top rope clothesline back inside gets two. Bigelow wakes up and slams Awesome down and adds the headbutt for no cover. Here’s Miller who kicks Bigelow in the head and dances a bit. Awesome kills him with a powerbomb and frog splash to advance.

 

Rating: D. The brawling was decent and Awesome was incredible as usual but the whole Bigelow/Miller thing was totally pointless. Also it makes no sense as either guy not named Awesome should have been disqualified for interference but whatever. This was nothing interesting but was there to have Awesome get pushed harder, which is fine.

 

Russo tells Bischoff to calm down. Bischoff tells Kidman to take care of Hogan.

 

Bagwell and Douglas say they’ll be champions and Shane wants to beat up Flair.

 

Tag Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Harlem Heat 2000 vs. Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas

 

This is Stevie Ray/Big T (Ahmed Johnson). Shane vs. Stevie starts us off after a quick brawl. Harlem Heat beat on Buff for a bit and then we get a tag to Shane who hits a release Pittsburgh Plunge to end this in less than three minutes. I’ve never seen such a nothing match that went so long.

 

That makes the finals Team Package vs. Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas

 

Booker says he’s not New Blood because he doesn’t agree with Bischoff about anything.

 

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Booker vs. Sting

 

Yes it’s officially Booker after he lost the rights to the letter T to Harlem Heat (don’t ask). They’re treating this like an epic battle and while it’s not quite that it is a big deal I guess. Leave it to WCW to have it in a match on this show in this position that gets about six and a half minutes. Sting gets a hip toss for the first move of the match. Sting keeps up the dominance and we head to the floor.

 

Booker goes into the metal barrier and the crew goes flying. Over to the announce table since we can’t have a match without a brawling segment because that’s what WWF and ECW does. Booker gets in a shot and back inside we go. Off to the chinlock which lasts a bit until we get a knee drop and hey, let’s go back to that chinlock. Axe kick hits for two and the announcers are stunned. Booker spins up but walks into a DDT for two. Stinger Splash hits but a second jumps into the side kick. Booker tries a suplex but gets reversed into a Death Drop to end it.

 

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but you would think this was Benoit vs. Angle at the 03 Rumble based on the reactions. It was certainly good and by far the best match of the night so far but it’s just not as good as what they’re hyping it up to be. If they had more than 7 minutes it could have been but we don’t have time for wrestling here on this wrestling show people.

 

Booker brings him back to shake his hand. Booker is New Blood according to Tony. Whatever man.

 

Torrie, Bischoff and Kidman aren’t worried about Hogan.

 

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro

 

Vampy takes over to start with a bunch of headbutts and right hands. It’s kind of hard to get into these matches that are happening for the sake of a tournament rather than a story or a feud between the guys in it. Kidman snaps off a rana to take over and pounds away in the corner the same way. Ten punches are countered into a SWEET release powerbomb but the Nail in the Coffin is countered into a facejam by Kidman.

 

They keep exchanging control with Kidman having it as I type this. Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) is countered into another facejam and we head outside. Vampiro gets a spin kick in and works on the arm after injuring his rib. And let’s cut to the back where a Dodge Charger containing Hogan is here. Hogan comes in and with the referee watching he beats up Kidman with ease. By that I mean he does it for several minutes. The idea of disqualifications are forgotten though so this is all cool. Hulk uses the steps as a step to chokebomb Kidman onto the table. Kidman is slammed through it and Vampy gets the pin.

 

Rating: C-. Hogan killed this period. The lack of disqualifications is just stupid as why shouldn’t the entire New Blood come in and beat up every member of the Millionaire’s Club every match and ensure that they win? My guess would be that would make sense, which is why this gets really old really fast. I mean the referee is watching the whole thing and doesn’t even try to interrupt it. It takes the wrestling out for the sake of brawling, which isn’t why I watch these shows. Once in awhile is fine, but not in every single match.

 

Hogan, ever the stealth one, gets on a mic and shouts that he’s coming for Bischoff.

 

In the back Russo leaves Bischoff to freak out on his own.

 

Hogan goes Bischoff hunting and finds him in like the 7^th door. And never mind as cops with guns are here to get him off. Yeah that’s not going to go badly at all is it?

 

Oh before I forget, here are the US Title brackets:

 

Steiner

Awesome

 

Sting

Kidman

 

Terry Taylor tells Terry Funk that the Hardcore match is going to begin in catering. “Take a right at the Doritos.”

 

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley

 

Norman is hiding in the men’s room and is in a catcher’s uniform complete with chest protector. They’re into catering now and it’s all Funk. Funk pours a bunch of Cokes on him (still in cans) as Tony says this isn’t a match, despite Taylor calling it a match and a bell ringing. They’re in the kitchen now and they crawl through a dish return line to get there. Tony talks about the merits of industrial strength cookie sheets as he probably wonders how he still has a career.

 

They head into the hallway and Norman climbs a conveniently placed ladder. Norman gets some chair shots in and we head to the arena. Terry is taking a bunch of chair shots to the head which are scarier each time. Madden wants to know why Terry would do this to himself. The term “middle aged and CRAZY” doesn’t work for Madden I guess. It’s Wiggle Time but you don’t simulate anal sex on a Texan! Funk hits a huge chair shot and we’re back outside.

 

Terry pulls out a ladder and puts it between the bottom and middle ropes on the inside. Dustin Rhodes comes out because we MUST have more Rhodes vs. Funk because the feud only started 25 years ago so we’re all begging for a continuation right? Dustin of course fails because he’s booked like a clueless putz when he’s not Goldust so he causes some pain for Norman. Funk drops a ladder over the top onto Norman for the title.

 

Rating: C. These matches are hard to not smile at a bit. Yes they’re stupid and mindless brawls but at the same time, they’re stupid and mindless brawls. Nothing great and Dustin added absolutely nothing to it at all (which should be on his tombstone), but Funk vs. Smiley was a weird combination that made for entertaining comedy and with the Hardcore Title, what more can you ask for?

 

Russo tells Booker to watch his step and wants a favor.

 

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner

 

Steiner takes him to the mat to start which is smart as he wants to keep the power/high flying guy on the mat where he can’t use his physical advantages. Awesome is sent to the floor but he manages to get the slingshot shoulder to take over. Splash gets two. This is Mike’s second WCW match after his debut earlier. Top rope clothesline gets two but the spinning belly to belly shifts things again. With Awesome taking back over here’s Nash with a crutch (same thing Awesome did to Nash) to take Awesome out. Recliner puts Steiner in the finals.

 

Rating: D+. They only had three minutes to work with so how good could it be? This was all about Nash getting his shot in on Awesome to set up a match that I don’t think ever actually took place. Awesome’s fate was written on the wall here though as he never would become anything significant in WCW at all due to an extreme amount of talent.

 

Dustin, who is somehow New Blood, is fired for not keeping Funk from winning the title. Russo takes credit for Goldust and making him everything he ever was. I give up.

 

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Vampiro vs. Sting

 

Sting charges to the ring as there’s an actual feud to this one. Sting no sells some stuff and hammers away with strikes. Out to the floor and it’s all Sting. Back in a top rope splash gets two after a lot of looking at Vampy. Back to the floor for more brawling and Sting misses the move that always misses, the splash onto the railing. Vampiro gets a chair and puts Sting face first onto it before a superkick puts Sting down.

 

In a weird moment, Vampiro rolls him in and sets for something off the stop but Sting won’t lay still and clearly shakes his head no at Sting. Vampiro is like dude what are you doing and just jumps off with no real contact. I don’t get that. Suplex gets two instead. Another suplex gets two again. A top rope…something is countered into either a powerbomb or spinebuster. Death Drop sets up the Deathlock to send Sting to the finals.

 

Rating: C-. The top rope stuff was rather odd but Sting continues to look good here. He was all fired up and they had to have someone in there to give the Millionaire’s Club a finalist. Not great or anything but these two had no real chemistry in most of their matches. Sting would beat him again the next month in something close to a squash.

 

Sting vs. Steiner for the title later.

 

Page wants to beat Jarrett.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Artist vs. Chris Candido vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Shannon Moore vs. Lash Leroux vs. Crowbar

 

No Evan Karagis for 3 Count here. I think they would split soon after this. The two 3 Count guys do their thing before the match. It’s a Suicide Sixway. The other guys run out and the big fight is on. Shane is on the outside and not in the match. Candido vs. Moore at the moment and I don’t think tags are required. Ok so yes they are. Crowbar escapes a DDT and gets a northern lights suplex for two.

 

One fall to a finish here. If DQ rules have been relaxed why not allow everyone to run in all the time? Lash vs. Juvy now as this is going to be one of those insane matches. Juvy Driver gets two as Artist saves. Daffney accidentally hits a Frankenscreamer on her man crowbar and then screams her way out of trouble. We bust out the dives by everyone and everybody is down.

 

David Flair comes in and beats up Helms and Candido is crotched by Artist. Candido misses a swan dive and Artist hits an Angle Slam (called a Samoan Drop) and Tammy debuts with a chair to give Candido the title. I can’t complain about her in a see through nightgown and a nice thong shot.

 

Rating: C. This was your usual insane Cruiserweight spot fest but I could have gone for it being longer than 5 minutes. The non-high flying power brawler as champion is the usual bit for them and that’s fine. The title hadn’t meant anything in years so throwing this together is fine. Nothing great but it did its job I guess and we have a new champion now and he’s New Blood.

 

Jarrett says he’s not worried about Page.

 

Tag Titles: Team Package vs. Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas

 

Russo comes out with the New Blood and sits in on commentary. Luger vs. Bagwell gets us going. Russo is guaranteeing victory. Buff rakes the eyes to stop the offense and it’s off to Shane. Luger casually gorilla presses him and Flair gets in a right hand and they go to the floor. Tony shouts BS about something as the New Blood beats on Flair. How a guy that was world champion seven years ago can be considered New Blood is beyond me but it’s WCW so who cares.

 

Bagwell beats down Flair and Tony wants more choking and violence. That would be cool if we hadn’t seen it in every single match so far tonight. Flair gets a chop and they hit the ropes, bumping heads to put both guys down. Luger FINALLY does something to break up the beating on Flair. There’s the hot tag to Luger who cleans house for a bit and there’s the Figure Four on Shane. Russo gets up with the bat as the Blockbuster hits Shane by mistake. Russo pulls the referee out as Kronik debuts and hits the double chokeslam on Luger to give the New Blood the titles with Russo counting the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just another match here and Kronik added nothing for the most part. The New Blood win the first tournament and I’m sure that’s all they’ll win right, because it’s not like they’re going to put all the titles on the heel faction like the NWO because that would just be stupid when they had done that a few years ago right?

 

Steiner says he’s not worried about Sting because he has big arms.

 

Sting says Steiner is the next casualty of this war.

 

US Title: Sting vs. Scott Steiner

 

Steiner hammers away to start but Sting gets a drop….he gets a kick…we’ll call it a leg attack to take over. They go to the floor for a bit but Sting gets caught coming in off the top rope. We get into a nice rhythm here: Steiner hits Sting to knock him down then yells at the fans then hits Sting to knock him down then yells at the fans. Repeat that for about 2 minutes and you have the middle of this match.

 

Sting starts his comeback and hits the Stinger Splash. The second one results in the referee getting crushed so Sting goes for two more of them. The first one hits but the second is stopped as Vampiro pulls him under the ring through the mat and Sting is gone. He comes back and is busted open and out cold. Steiner puts on the Recliner and wins the title by TKO.

 

Rating: D-. Well this was worthless. Sting was more or less waiting around for the Vampy thing which wasn’t needed as he beat Vampiro cleanly earlier on in the night. Steiner gets the title after beating three guys despite being a terror in the back at this point. Steiner would hold the title for a few months until getting suspended for using a banned hold. Not bad for about 12 minutes combined in three matches.

 

We recap Jarrett vs. DDP which was set up Monday. Jarrett got his spot in this automatically while Page had to beat Luger and then the winner of Sting vs. Sid. Sid was champion but was stripped of the title instead. DDP beat Sting after New Blood interference in all three matches.

 

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

Kimberly is with Page here. Page hammers away to start us off and a discus clothesline puts Jarrett down. Spinning DDT gets two and a pescado follows. We’re on the floor again and Kimberly slaps Jeff. They go into the crowd and there’s a crutch used on Jarrett’s back. We can’t see anything here for the most part due to a combination of bad camera work and the fans being in the way.

 

Jarrett tries to cheat but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Almost all DDP here so far and as I say that he gets crotched. There’s a superplex and Jeff goes to grab a chair. Jeff works over the back without using the chair because he’d rather wrestle. I can’t believe I’m saying this but God bless you Jeff Jarrett. Page starts firing back with right hands and a sitout powerbomb gets two.

 

Bischoff is standing in the aisle. They head to the floor where Jarrett uses various instruments on him. He rips up a copy of Page’s book and posts Page’s balls on the post. Page starts a comeback and rams Jeff’s balls into the post for some nice comeuppance. Jeff blocks the Diamond Cutter and down goes the referee. A belt shot puts Page down and the referee makes a two count.

 

Figure Four goes on to Page and Kimberly grabs the guitar. If you don’t know what she’s going to do with it, you’re a freaking moron. Page is still in the hold as we wait for the SHOCKING, yes SHOCKING I SAY heel turn by Page’s chick. He finally reverses it into a small package for two. Jarrett jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Jeff throws on a sleeper which is reversed, drawing Eric and Kim up to the apron. Diamond Cutter hits and there’s the turn and Jarrett wins the title.

 

Rating: C. It’s probably the best match of the night and that’s because it had some time to develop. If my memory and math are right this was the only match that went over ten minutes all night. I can understand having a problem with that when you have 13 matches, but there’s a simple solution to that: DON’T HAVE THIRTEEN MATCHES. Not a great match or even a good one but after three hours I’ll take it.

 

The New Blood celebrates together to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: D. If you’re a fan of tournaments, RUN out and find a copy of this show because it’s all your fantasies come true. Otherwise, it’s three hours of sloppy brawling in place of wrestling and a total of maybe two watchable matches out of 13. This was a nothing show and shows the problems of rebooting the freaking company six days before a PPV. Not a fan of this at all as the company was on the verge of its final downward spiral due to Russo booking the company so far into the ground it couldn’t see the light of day. Bad show due to the booking being WAY too overdone.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re just one week after Undertaker beat Austin for the title with the help of both McMahons and Austin broken heart due to Owen Hart passing away earlier in the night. Other than that it’s Rock vs. HHH because this is 1999 and what else is it going to be? This show was requested by someone that I don’t remember for reasons I don’t remember either. Oh wait apparently there’s a somewhat significant moment on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin stunning everyone in sight in recent weeks.

Here’s Vince to open the show and looking like he wants to fight. He talks about how the Greater Power is here tonight and it doesn’t matter who it is. It might be Shawn Michaels, it might be one of the McMahons, it might be Jake Roberts, it might be the bartender from down the street. Vince wants a street fight with the Greater Power tonight so he calls out Shane for a fight. However he’ll sweeten the pot a bit further: if Shane will put up his 50% ownership of the company, Vince will do the same, making the fight winner take all.

This brings out Shane who immediately accepts the challenge, but disappoints Vince because he isn’t the Greater Power. However, he’ll bring out the Greater Power in just a few moments. Ok then.

We run down the card tonight: there’s a Lion’s Den match with Shamrock vs. Jeff Jarrett, the Acolytes defending the tag titles against the Brood, Debra defending against the monster Nicole Bass and of course that whole Greater Power deal.

Austin is in the back talking to someone in a limo.

Speaking of the Greater Power deal, it’s already time for it. Undertaker leads the Corporate Ministry (HHH, Chyna, Acolytes, Mideon, Viscera, Big Boss Man, Shane who isn’t present here and Paul Bearer) which is a pretty impressive army. Unertaker talks about assembling an army for the arrival of a power greater than himself. The Ministry and the Corporation merged to show what kind of power was at hand.

With that, the lights go dark and a man in a cloak comes to the ring. Everyone but Undertaker is kneeling in the ring. JR and King think it’s Shane, but as the hooded figure stands in the ring, Shane comes out through the curtain saying he told us it wasn’t him. Shane talks about what a mastermind the Greater Power is and how smart the Power is. Before we reveal the identity though, Shane wants Vince to be the one that unveils the Greater Power. Vince pops up on screen and says this is close enough for him.

The Greater Power pulls back his hood to reveal……Vince McMahon, saying that it was him all along and that every one of us bought it. Even his family bought the story and he blames Austin for causing all this. The entire plan (oh we’ll get to that later) was enacted to teach Austin a lesson: Vince will do anything he has to do in order to torment Austin. Vince thanks Shane, Undertaker, and everyone else involved with the Corporate Ministry….and here are Linda and Stephanie McMahon, Vince’s wife and daughter.

Stephanie wants to know how this could happen and Vince says it was just business. Linda says let’s talk business then. Vince sucks up to her but she says love has nothing to do with business. First of all, when Vince says that he and Shane both own 50% of the company, Vince is lying. Since there are four McMahons, they all own equal shares. Vince didn’t build this company on his own. That’s why this morning, there was a meeting of the board of directors. First and foremost, there are changes to the dress code. It’s now less formal, with more cutoff jeans. Also, some profanity and drinking on the job are now perfectly acceptable.

That’s not the biggest deal though. The real story is that Linda has stepped down as CEO of the company while picking a new CEO. That new CEO will have FULL authority to run this company as he sees fit. The new CEO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! COMPLETE WITH A TIE!!! The look on Vince’s face is absolutely hysterical as he is, in a word, absolutely STUNNED. Austin takes off the tie because he has a power finger instead of a power tie. There’s a middle finger for Vince before Austin talks about making a fast transition to power.

First and foremost, Austin WILL be getting a title shot in the near future and WILL be taking his title back. As for the next PPV, which is King of the Ring, it’s going to be Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a handicap match. Vince is fine with that but Austin doesn’t want to hear about that. As for tonight, it’s Shane vs. Kane and X-Pac in a handicap match. As for the remaining members of the Union, which would be Shamrock, Test and Big Show, they can pick any opponent they like.

Since HHH put out Mankind with a sledgehammer last week, there’s going to be a cast match with HHH vs. Rock. Since Rock’s arm is in a cast, we’re going to put HHH’s leg in a cast and have a one on one match. If anyone has a problem with any of that, come find Austin and if he’s not having too much beer, he’ll talk to you.

After a much needed break, Linda and Stephanie present Austin with a briefcase full of beer.

Ok so now that we’re about a third of the way done with the show, let’s recap for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with the story that led up to all this, here you are. Back in the late fall/winter, Undertaker started to get more and more “into his character”, which meant he was starting to become more and more demonic. This led to him starting to kidnap people and recruit the army that would become his Ministry of Darkness.

Undertaker’s plans were revealed as him wanting to own the WWF and run the company as he saw fit, but Vince was too busy fighting the war against Austin with his Corporation. Soon after that, Undertaker invaded Vince’s home and stole a teddy bear, which belonged to Stephanie, showing that Vince and his family weren’t safe anywhere. Also around this time, Undertaker began talking about serving a Higher Power. Vince began to crack under the pressure which became even more intense when Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie at the end of Backlash.

This resulted in the Black Wedding, where Stephanie appeared on Raw tied to an Undertaker symbol resembling a cross. Paul Bearer attempted to wed Stephanie to Undertaker, but Austin made the save because it was the right thing to do, not because of any care for Vince. THIS led us to Over the Edge, where Austin defended the title against Undertaker with both Vince and Shane as guest referees. Shane screwed Austin out of the title, which led us to tonight.

As you now know, Vince was the Greater Power all along, meaning that he terrorized his family, tormented himself (in a way), lied, cheated, acted like a crazy man, and cried on national television, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin. Now THOSE are the actions of a crazy man. Why do you ask?

BECAUSE VINCE ALREADY HAD THE TITLE OFF OF AUSTIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Austin hadn’t been champion since September. Vince had his Corporate Champion in the Rock, he had Undertaker under his power, he apparently had Shane under his power, and Austin was the only target he had. Why in the world did he allow Undertaker and the Corporation to fight at Wrestlemania instead of focusing everything they had on stopping Austin from getting the title back?

On top of THAT, just looking at tonight, since Austin now has 50% power which gives him more than either Vince or Shane, why don’t they combine their shares into one so that they can balance out Austin? That all being said, the last half hour of this show was AMAZINGLY entertaining and back in 1999 this had me losing my mind watching it. However, much like Russo’s other master plan angles, it falls apart when you think about it for more than 15 seconds.

Overall Rating: …….oh wait we’ve got like an hour and fifteen minutes left don’t we?

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Gangrel/Edge

The Brood (Edge and Gangrel) were recently thrown out of the Corporate Ministry after Christian had told Shamrock where Stephanie was. The Acolytes won the belts last week from Kane and X-Pac thanks to interference by Shane. The champions run over their far smaller challengers to start until we get down to Bradshaw against Gangrel. Gangrel fires off what few shots he can but there’s too much Texas, allowing Bradshaw to hit the fallaway slam to take control.

Faarooq comes in for more of the same as he pounds away on the back of the vampire. Off to Edge who speeds things up a bit with clotheslines and spinwheel kicks. Not that it matters though as it’s back to a still weak (must be the garlic from catering) Gangrel who is distracted by the Hardys and their manager Michael Hayes on the stage. As Gangrel turns around it’s the Clothesline from Bradshaw to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was short and sour like most matches from this point in time. The Acolytes would continue to dominate for awhile until losing the titles to the Hardys in a few weeks. The new champions would move on to feud with Edge and his new partner Christian, more or less redefining tag team wrestling for years to come.

Here’s what’s left of the Union (a stable of four guys that lasted a month) to receive their blank checks from Austin. Big Show does the smart thing and demands a title match with Undertaker TONIGHT. That gets the crowd going all over again. Shamrock is mad about what Vince did, so the match with Jarrett is out and now it’s Vince in the Lion’s Den against him. Oh dear.

This leaves Test, who says there’s only one person he wants to be in the ring with tonight: Stephanie McMahon. We cut to Vince and Shane in the back who PANIC. Stephanie is all of 22 at this point and looking beyond awkward at this point. Test ASKS HER OUT and she says yes, sending her father and brother into fits in the back. There’s a summer long angle for you.

HHH puts his cast on.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Shane McMahon

X-Pac starts and lets Shane get in a few free shots before taking him to the corner for a BIG beating. Shane runs to the floor but gets kicked in the face for being a coward. Cue the Mean Street Posse in Mankind masks to save Shane and throw the match out, but here are Patterson and Brisco to throw them into the ring for an X-Factor and a chokeslam. This was barely a “match”. Pete Gas gets a Bronco Buster and Rodney gets tombstoned.

Cole is in the back with Debra who wants to change the title match tonight to a bikini contest. If Nicole wins, she gets a title match next week. If Debra wins, Nicole has to leave the puppies alone. Yeah whatever.

HHH vs. The Rock

This is a cast match with HHH’s leg and Rock’s arm in casts. HHH broke the knee of Mankind and the arm of the Rock which is where Austin got the idea from. Rock has a good right arm here so he pounds HHH into the corner but HHH has no balance at all because of his cast. A DDT puts HHH down and it’s time for a chair. JR takes shots at WCW and there’s a chair to HHH’s back. There’s the Rock Bottom and the chair goes over HHH’s face for the People’s Elbow, but Undertaker comes in for the save. I’m guessing that’s a no contest. It’s Rock vs. Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring.

Undertaker tombstones Rock on the chair but Big Show chases Undertaker off.

Time for the bikini contest. What do you want me to say here? Debra is a decent looking woman and when Nicole Bass walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her. Debra wins in a landslide and Val Venis comes out to stand up for Nicole. He tells her to hit Jeff Jarrett with the guitar but gets laid out by an errant shot. Val wakes up and yells at Nicole, resulting in Bass dumping her. Val chases after her in a bizarre segment.

We get GTV (basically a hidden camera segment where a never named videographer (it was supposed to be Goldust I believe) would spy on people) of PMS making fun of various men. Nothing to see here.

Billy Gunn vs. Godfather

Apparently Billy hit Godfather with a chair on Heat for some reason. Godfather comes out all aggressive to start and punches Billy into the corner before hitting some knees to the ribs. The announcers talk about the PMS bit despite NOTHING BEING SAID. Godfather loads up the Ho Train but gets low bridged to the floor instead. During the ten count, Road Dogg, who has recently broken up with Billy, comes in and gives him a pumphandle sla. Godfather comes in and drops a leg for the fast pin. Just build for Dogg vs. Gunn, which wound up going nowhere because, amazingly enough, no one wanted to see them fight.

Droz vomits in the back.

Hardcore Title: Darren Drozdov vs. Al Snow

Snow is defending and they never even go into the ring. They immediately fight into the crowd and use whatever weapons just happen to be lying around, like chairs and trashcans because this is HARDCORE after all. They fight up to what looks like a sports bar in the arena and things start getting WACKY! I think you can figure it out from here: pool cues, chairs, drinks, a sculpture goes upside Droz’s head and Snow retains. Seriously, that’s the whole match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Vince McMahon

This is a Lion’s Den Match, which means they’re in a small cage next to the stage. On the way to the ring, Vince says he isn’t afraid. Vince gets in first and locks the cage door. Shamrock tries to get in but as he does, Jarrett comes up and blasts him with a chair, giving Vince the win by TKO. Again, seriously, that’s the whole match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show

Man they’re booking tonight. Taker jumps the challenger in the corner before he even takes the belt off but Big Show clotheslines him down. A suplex puts Taker down again for two and there’s a HARD whip into the corner by Big Show. Taker is whipped into the corner and stomped down as this is almost all Big Show so far. Taker fights back with right hands but a single headbutt puts him right back down.

They both grab chokeslams but Taker uses a Paul Bearer distraction to kick Big Show low. A flying clothesline puts Big Show down and Taker stomps away, sending Big Show out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the steps and sends the champion face first into them instead. A headbutt staggers Undertaker and there’s a big right hand. Taker escapes a posting attempt and sends Big Show head first into the post to get himself a breaker. Show is slammed into the announce table and it’s chair time.

The chair is cracked over Big Show’s back and somehow the referee didn’t notice it. I love how that works. Taker pounds away on the floor and rakes away at his eyes for good measure. Back in and Undertaker goes up top which can’t end well for him. Big Show catches him in mid air and chokeslams Undertaker THROUGH THE RING. The match is thrown out for obvious reasons.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note but obviously that wasn’t the point here. The idea was to show that Undertaker was vulnerable and to make Big Show look all the more awesome which I think they safely did. This would be one of the more famous spots in the history of the show and would be nominated for biggest spot ever at some anniversary show.

Post match the Ministry runs in and is quickly dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. If you’re watching this for wrestling, you’re better off with Nitro. If you’re watching this for drama, you’re in Heaven. This was ALL storyline and that made it a very fast two hours. The Higher Power reveal is one of the dumbest moments of all time, but man alive is it FUN when you actually watch it. The whole story is still the epitome of Russo booking with how intricate it was, but again when you think about if for very long at all it comes falling down. The Undertaker reign of terror would be done in about a month or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

On Impact Angle unmasked the second in command and was shocked at who he saw.  He said “how could you” as he looked down at the guy, which means it’s someone we’ve probably known all along.  The most likely suspects are:Hogan: He’s a suspect for the leader of any heel stable because that’s the best idea TNA can come up with.

Joe: It would be a swerve, which is what TNA does most often.  It wouldn’t make sense but it would be the most likely pick probably.

Park/Abyss: Again it would be a surprise, but can you picture either character as the leader of a biker gang?

Bully Ray: Yeah he was in the ring on a live show seconds before this happened, but why should that stop them?

Brooke: Not the size, but if it gets Brooke a more prominent role on TV, why not do it?

Matt Morgan: He popped up on Impact for the first time in months at the same time the VP arrived, which sounds to be too much to be a coincidence to me.

D’Lo Brown: He’s been mentioned for months as a member of the team and there were small hints to it being him months ago, but to call this an underwhelming development would be the understatement of all time.

Eric Bischoff: Same reason as Hulk.

AJ Styles: The motorcycle he rode off on would seem to be a clue, but AJ was doing fine when the whole story started which would make a lot less sense.  it would however give us a top star in Aces and 8’s, which is what they need more than anything.

Jeff Jarrett: He’s been mentioned as a potential leader for months but why would that shock Angle, who has feuded on and off with Jarrett for years now?

 

At the end of the day, I’m going with either Joe or Park as VP with Eric Bischoff winding up as the leader/mastermind of the whole thing.  Not that either of them would be a great pick, but this is TNA where the reveals of leaders are rarely anything good.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

Wrestlewar 1989
Date: May 7, 1989
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Jim Ross Bob Caudle

Well this is here because of one main reason and a few unimportant minor ones. The main one of course is the World Title match between Flair and Steamboat. Flair had dropped the title to Steamboat back in February at Chi-Town Rumble. There was a rematch at the sixth Clash where there was a one hour time limit in a 2/3 falls match.

They split the first two and Steamboat got a suplex for the pin to end it but Flair’s foot had been under the rope, resulting in this final blowoff match that is called the greatest match ever. I think that’s good enough reasoning to do this don’t you? Other than that there’s nothing at all special going on here. Let’s get to it.

I was lucky enough to find a recording of the original PPV meaning no clipping and I get the FULL preshow. For the sake of time I’ll skip that here but there are some interviews and basically just people talking about the matches. Free bonus material so I can’t complain here.

The opening is a very fast montage of people in matches tonight and then a picture of the logo with a banjo. Oh great.

Oddly enough when Jim and Bob are doing the intros they don’t put a graphic up for Jim. Most odd.

The Oak Ridge Boys sing the National Anthem.

Ross tells us that there will NOT be a hair vs. hair stipulation in the US Tag Title match. The NWA has decided against this as apparently WE WRESTLE in the NWA so gimmicks can’t be used. This would of course be just over one year before the Robocop show and about 30 minutes before the bullrope match.

We run down the card in order that it will air.

Doug Gilbert vs. Great Muta

Gilbert is a substitute for Junkyard Dog who likely found a larger group of people to annoy. This is back when Muta was blowing the minds of everyone on the planet as no one had ever seen anything like him. Muta Mist to the face to start and let the pain begin. Gilbert is rather sloppy to put it mildly. He’s from Tennessee so he’s the hometown boy here. Handspring elbow connects and this is more or less a squash. Moonsault misses, pescado hits, moonsault hits perfectly to end this. Nearly total squash.

Rating: N/A. Total dominance here with nothing from Gilbert that gave Muta anything to worry about. Muta was flat out amazing and his feud with Sting was coming soon which would be absolutely epic.

Lance Russell talks to Ric Flair which causes the 80s to explode. Flair says Steamboat is the best wrestler in the world, but to be the man you got to beat the man, and the man is Flair. So basic yet so effective.

Butch Reed vs. Ranger Ross

Oh what are you expecting here? Ross more or less is just a run of the mill soldier character. Ross does Rude’s hip swivel for no apparent reason. Ross takes him down to start as we may be in for a more competitive match than I thought. They look a lot alike so it’s a bit hard to tell them apart other than their tights. Reed finally takes over as he’s far from popular.

Long is here even though he didn’t have any guys at this point. Doom was on the way I guess. Reed uses a knee lift that literally does not hit Ross but who cares about that? We hit the chinlock which isn’t around the chin or actually locked but why nitpick I guess. They botch the heck out of something and go with a headlock as Ross uses various strikes to send Reed to the floor.

They punch on the floor a bit so Reed kicks him in the head as he’s coming back in. All Reed here as they mess up a suplex back in. A top rope shoulder block where Ross was too close so he more or less got destroyed to end it. Not much at all here.

Rating: F. No point, dull match, ton of botches, what else do you expect?

Luger says he’ll beat Michael Hayes.

Dick Murdoch vs. Bob Orton

This is a bullrope match and Murdoch is Captain Redneck. I give up. You can win by pin here. This is boring already and we’re not a minute into it. Nothing but punching for the most part. The story is that Gary Hart, Orton’s manager, did some evil business deals and Murdoch went after him, resulting in him getting his head kicked in by Orton. Here you go.

Orton controls then Murdoch punches him in the balls just to be a jerk. Murdoch hits him with the boot as this is rather boring to put it mildly. A few more boot shots get two. Murdoch finally hogties him and drops an elbow for the pin. For the love of crap SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF THESE MATCHES ARE!

Rating: F. It was like 4 minutes long and I have no idea who the face was supposed to be. I can’t stand these southern boys matches where there’s some idiot cowboy dude out there and he wants to treat the other guy like a cow. HATE these things.

Orton hangs Murdoch afterwards and no one cares.

Hayes says he’ll beat Luger. Hayes is a glorified jobber and Luger is more or less the next guy to challenge Flair for the world title. This should be a total squash which was common back then on PPV in midcard title matches.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Dynamic Dudes

This is the Dudes’ debut I think. They’re skateboarders and no one could stand them. Both guys deny being part of the team today as even they get how stupid it was. The Swat Team are the Headshrinkers. The announcers keep talking about how awesome the Dues are. Dangerously manages the Samoans here and we start with Johnny Ace vs. Rikishi. What a great sounding match.

Shane comes in and Fatu drops down to avoid something but Shane dives behind him anyway. Was there a point to that? Nice dropkick by the ECW Dude. They double team Fatu and nothing much is going on here. And then Samu kicks the heck out of Johnny to take over. Ross says they’re like caged animals. You know I don’t think caged animals often wear tights and pound on professional wrestlers named Johnny.

Samu uses a leg whip. What kind of wild savage uses a leg whip? Johnny gets beaten down for a good while as we hit five minutes. We get heel miscommunication but Johnny still can’t make the tag. You can tell he’s in trouble when he can’t get a tag even with that. We hear again about how amazing the Dudes are from Caudle as I think he has a shrine to them somewhere.

Johnny tries to face plant Fatu like an idiot but for some reason it works. He can’t make the tag though as he’s a foot away but just misses it. Fatu uses a Boston Crab, allowing Paul E to grab the mic and say that Johnny is as useless as a Nashville woman. Shane finally comes in and that doesn’t get him anywhere. Fatu goes to slam Shane but Johnny gets a dropkick off the top for Shane to fall on top and get the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s about as formula based as you could get here but at the same time there was absolutely nothing special going on here at all. The Dudes were just annoying and the Samoans were just generic big men. This was ok at best but compared to the other tag teams going on at the time, this was nothing. Not a horrible match though.

Video about Steamboat vs. Flair set to Final Countdown. The highlights are cool if nothing else. It’s a music video set to Europe singing Final Countdown, but pretty cool.

The Oak Ridge Boys perform for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Dang Kid Rock has nothing on them. Ok so he does but this was still a waste of time.

Lance Russell is with Lou Thesz, Pat O’Connor and Terry Funk, the three judges for the world title match tonight. I’ve never heard Pat or Lou talk. Funk is young looking here. This is before his hardcore days started. They give their criteria to the winner.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Michael Hayes

This would be like Cena vs. Miz two years ago. Hayes is the career tag team guy that says he can do it without help. Luger is the hottest thing in the world not named Sting. Both guys in blue here which is kind of a weird look. Hayes stalls a lot to open the match as he tries to frustrate Lex. Hayes was Luger’s partner for no apparent reason and then turned on him because he’s a natural heel.

Teddy Long is here again for no adequately explained reason. Hayes gets slapped and stalls again. He comes back in, gets slammed and hits the floor again. Five minutes gone and Hayes has stalled more than a broken down truck. Hiro Matsuda, a big time heel manager, is here too. Luger works on the arm to take away the DDT which makes sense.

The idea here is Hayes does basic stuff, it doesn’t work, Luger pounds on him for a bit, Hayes stalls and cheats then we start again. Ten minutes in and Hayes has a chinlock. Hayes gets in a nice left hand and a bulldog for two. Matsuda sends Luger into the railing as Luger is in trouble. Bulldog is blocked by Luger and the crowd pops big.

Luger goes nuts again with a bunch of slams and clotheslines. The Rack is reversed though and Hayes gets the DDT to shock the crowd. No cover though so we slug it out. They hit heads and the referee goes down. One of the Freebirds comes down and puts Hayes on Luger and shoves Luger’s foot off the ropes to allow Hayes to win the title as the crowd is SILENT. This was legitimately a shock, up there with Sheamus beating Cena for the title at TLC.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the ending brings it up a good bit. This was far too long at over 16 minutes but it wasn’t completely worthless. Luger would get the title back in just over two weeks and hold it for about a year and a half so it’s not like this meant anything long term. Pretty weak match but the ending helped it a lot.

Sting is all fired up.

TV Title: The Iron Sheik vs. Sting

Sheik doesn’t even get an intro. Sting’s pop is just ridiculous. He had a cool entrance where this army of kids would run through the curtain before he came out. He’s the hottest thing in the world and would be for a very long time. Sheik’s other dude hits Sting with a flag pole and Sheik pounds on him a bit. Take a guess how long this works. The match ends in maybe two minutes with Sheik tapping. This was the norm for Sting for a long time as he wasn’t ready for Flair yet but he was way bigger than anyone else so it was all they had for him.

Steamboat talks about how great this is going to be and that no matter if he wins or loses he’ll shake Flair’s hand and good luck. Very classy here as this was far more about respect than hatred which helped it a great deal I think.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat

Flair brings out FORTY women with him. That’s not an exaggeration either. No one can say he can’t make an entrance. Steamboat brings his wife and his son on a freaking pony. Dude, he got his son a pony. How awesome is that? The judges are introduced which is a really great idea. Thesz is a six time world champion which back then was a seemingly unbreakable record although Flair is a five time one here.

Basically everyone knows this is going to absolutely amazing but the question is will it be the best match ever as most people have made it out to be. It’s considered the best match ever, so let’s get to it. They feel each other out a lot as it’s a chess match so far. Big armdrag by Steamboat as the cameraman is filming the fans. We’re going to get updates from the judges every fifteen minutes.

Flair chops the tar out of Steamboat so Steamboat chops the tar out of Flair. The challenger goes to the floor after some SICK chops from both guys. Steamboat works the arm to set up his double chickenwing that he made Flair submit to back in April. I love those armdrags. In an impressive moment, Flair is getting his arm cranked and managed to tell a fan to keep their mouth shut.

And that is why Flair was able to stay where he did for so long. He played to the crowd so well. Little things like those are what separates great people from ok ones. By doing things like those or putting his feet on the ropes for a pin he ticks people off just a little bit more so that you want to see him lose just a little bit more. It may not sound like much but it adds up.

More arm work from the Dragon as Flair is in trouble. They chop it out again and Flair is rocked. Back to the arm as you have the pure psychology there. Steamboat knows he can get Flair to submit to an arm hold so why would you go away from that? Flair uses the good arm to get a fireman’s carry and put Steamboat on the top which fails for some reason. Flair is dropkicked to the floor and doesn’t want to get back in.

An elbow misses by Flair so it’s right back to the armbar. We’re about fifteen minutes in and we’re getting the first scores from the judges: Steamboat is definitely ahead and it’s unanimous. Steamboat goes insane again and chops Flair half to death. He sends him to the corner and we get a Flair flip but he gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Steamboat, ever the gentleman, pounds away at the ribs and chest.

Mostly Steamboat here as Flair is just trying to stay in there. We hit the fifteen minute mark and Flair sends Steamboat to the floor but it was momentum so it’s NOT a DQ. I can’t stand that rule but WCW kept it for years. On the floor and they chop it out again with Flair trying to get away. Steamboat climbs the ropes (not in the corner mind you) and comes off with a big chop. Flair Flip gets chopped down as well as it’s all Steamboat.

Back to the arm one more time as Flair’s arm is killing him here. Steamboat misses a charge and goes over the top as well. Flair drops a knee as you get a shot of a BIG tarped off section in the back. The referee goes down by accident as Flair controls now. Belly to back gets two. About twenty minutes in now. Another knee drop and a butterfly suplex get two each.

Flair keeps cradling the head on covers for some reason. That’s not something he tends to do but he’s doing it for every cover here. Suplex on the floor has Steamboat rocking. We get some new results from the judges as it’s 2-1 for Flair which is kind of stupid as Flair has controlled for about 15 minutes and Flair for about 8. Steamboat has 4 total votes to Flair’s 2 which Ross says puts him ahead. Was there supposed to be a total or something?

Steamboat gets a rollup for two but both guys go to the floor and everyone is down. On a countout we go to the judges which apparently would go to Steamboat at 4-2. Ok so apparently these points do indeed count. Flair goes up and of course gets slammed down and here comes Steamboat. Crowd is way into this if you didn’t guess that part.

Suplex off the middle rope rocks Flair again and here comes Steamboat. He goes for the chickenwing but Flair gets his feet in the ropes before it goes on. He hits a top rope chop but Flair hits the ropes the second time to send Steamboat to the floor and Ricky has a bad knee now. After some basic knee stuff, there’s the Figure Four to a big pop.

We’re thirty minutes in and Steamboat is in big trouble. Rope is grabbed though and Flair stays on the leg. BIG chop in the corner has Steamboat in big trouble. Steamboat throws chops and Flair pounds the knee. Enziguri connects and here comes Steamboat again. He goes for a slam, and in a GREAT nod to Steamboat, Flair rolls him up into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. It’s a great match indeed. I’m not entirely sold on it being the greatest match of all time, but this was indeed great and worked all the way through the thirty minutes. This was two guys being allowed to perform out there and it worked as well as it could have. Excellent match and definitely one of the best ever, but I’m not sure if it’s the greatest. Doesn’t matter though obviously as it’s great.

Steamboat shakes his hand and Flair says Steamboat is the greatest champions he’s ever faced. Funk comes in and congratulates him on being the best champion, saying that if it had gone 60 minutes he would have voted Flair. Funk won’t leave and challenges Flair for the first title shot but Flair says no because he’s not an active contender.

As long as Flair has been around, apparently he’s stupid enough to tell Terry Funk that he’s not good enough. Funk says he was kidding and they hug. Naturally Funk DRILLS him and beats the living crap out of him. And then, in something that back then was huge, piledrives him on the judges’ table, which doesn’t break. Flair wouldn’t wrestle again for nearly three months, returning at the Great American Bash to face Funk, which is the next show I’m doing.

Something to note here: look at how basic this was. Flair has a great match, Funk wants a shot, Flair says no, Funk doesn’t like it and injures Flair, big match is made. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GET???

We go to Nikita Koloff who will be refereeing the world tag title match. Yeah there are two tag title matches left to go. The booking wasn’t your normal formula stuff back then. Nikita won’t be intimidated.

World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

The Club is Rotunda and Williams this time. The Warriors coming out to Iron Man is still awesome stuff. It’s on while their pyro is still going off as this is a big old feud. Big boot to Rotunda and he’s in real trouble already. Koloff throws Sullivan out. The Warriors lost the titles to the Club in April at the same show as Flair vs. Steamboat II with the fastest count ever by Teddy Long which is why he was fired.

Hawk and Williams start properly here and it’s just a big brawl. Williams is completely awesome as he manhandles Hawk which isn’t something you see very often. Hawk’s arm hits the post. Double clothesline back in the ring and both guys are down. Animal comes in and destroys everyone in sight but only gets two as Williams saves.

Big old brawl but Rotunda goes to the floor. The Road Warriors do their big power stuff and it’s Doomsday Device time for Williams. Dan Spivey and Kevin Sullivan run out and take out Nikita as the champions beat up Animal. It gets thrown out as a DQ for the Warriors of course.

Rating: D. Total nothing match here but this wasn’t supposed to be anything special. The fans pop big for the win but no titles. They would never get those titles back.

US Tag Titles: Dan Spivey/Kevin Sullivan vs. Eddie Gilbert/Rick Steiner

Gilbert and Steiner are the champions here. They’re the First Family apparently despite not being related. Sullivan almost immediately goes after Hyatt as he had a thing for blondes I guess. Other than his own wife you know. Spivey sends Steiner’s shoulder into the post twice and adds a shoulderbreaker so it’s more or less 2-1 now.

Apparently Steiner was legit hurt so that explains the injury thing. It’s a glorified handicap match with Steiner not even able to get his jacket off due to how bad his arm is. Gilbert gets massacred by Spivey who throws in what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Spivey was decent but Diesel more or less ended his career off a powerbomb. Steiner gets onto the apron.

Sullivan comes in for a second but here’s Spivey again. Gilbert gets a tag out of nowhere but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down anyway though and Steiner hits a Steiner Line to Sullivan and Gilbert falls on top to keep the belts and pop the crowd like crazy. The Varsity Club beats on him some more afterwards. Gilbert saves Hyatt from Sullivan afterwards.

Rating: D. Another pointless match here other than to give the fans something to send them home happy. Nothing more than that. The titles would be stripped later in the month, I’d assume due to the injury and they would be gone for about 9 months and would be gone in less than a year and a half.

Ross says that the Varsity Club have been stripped of the world tag titles. The Freebirds would win a tournament at the next Clash to get them which I’ve already reviewed.

We replay the Funk/Flair thing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is the epitome of a one match show. Only the world title match is worth anything but that was how this era went for the most part. The next show would more than make up for it though as it’s considered the best WCW/NWA show of all time. That’s also the next review I’m doing. Anyway, the show isn’t worth seeing, but the Flair/Steamboat match is. That’s about it though. Get the two hour version if you really want to watch it as the full one drags A LOT.

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