Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the last week before Elimination Chamber and the word on the street is that there’s going to be another Elimination Chamber match announced, although in the form of a three on three WarGames style match. I’d be more than cool with this as the Chamber is the only way they’re going to be able to use the idea in WWE due to the size of the extra ring taking up too much space. Rock is in the house too. Let’s get to it.

Heyman opens the show and talks about all the sacrifices he’s made over the years with a focus on ECW. Then he came to WWE (F at the time) and saw a rookie named Brock Lesnar. Heyman turned him into the Next Big Thing and saw a man that could carry WWE into the future and break Sammartino’s record. Oh wait he means Punk should have broken the record.

Apparently something very bad is going to happen and the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Paul’s head, but it’s going to fall onto Punk’s head. Therefore, tonight he’s going to tender his resignation, because he isn’t going to distract Punk from winning the title back. He’s going to miss Punk but he’ll be cheering for him.

Cue Punk with a concerned look on his face. Paul says that Vince believes that he was behind Shield, Lesnar and Maddox and even though he wasn’t, it doesn’t matter. Punk says both he and the people look up to him so he can’t leave. Heyman says he told Punk when he started that in the land of the McMahons, perception is reality.

What happened at the Rumble is nothing compared to what’s coming, so remember him as a friend and not a martyr. Punk says forget all this because on Sunday, everything will be back to normal. He’ll win the title and Heyman will be in his corner. Paul says he’ll be there on Sunday and they hug. Ok then.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Apparently Mysterio was injured last week so he’s out of the Chamber. He wasn’t at the house show I was at last night so maybe there’s something to that. We’ve currently got Bryan, Orton and Henry inside there. Henry pounds Khali into the corner to start but runs into an elbow and boot to slow him down. Henry shrugs it off and hits some clotheslines to put Khali down and the World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:34.

Horny gets a slam as well post match.

Jericho wants in the Chamber but Booker says he has to beat Daniel Bryan first. Booker yells at Teddy a bit too, and we get a Jericho impression of Booker for fun.

Vickie is on the phone with someone when Heyman comes in. Paul wants a stipulation added to the title match Sunday but a phone call from Vince interrupts them. Heyman asks to talk to Vince so Vickie turns speaker on. Paul apologizes to Vince for what Lesnar did and knows that Vince will be back soon. Vince tells him to shut up and wants to know the stipulation Heyman had in mind. Paul suggests that if Rock gets counted out or DQ’ed that Punk gets the title back. Vince says put it in writing and it’s a deal before hanging up. We get dial tone off an iPhone 5. Methinks this is fake.

Fandango is coming. I saw him last night and I don’t want to see him again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

We start things off with a feeling out process as Cole talks about the history between these two on the first season of NXT. Jericho sends him to the apron but misses the springboard dropkick. Bryan hits the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with more back and forth action, such as Bryan hitting a clothesline but having a running dropkick into the corner countered into a Walls attempt.

The Lionsault hits knees though and Bryan goes up. Jericho breaks up whatever Daniel was going to try though and tries a superplex, only to be knocked off, giving us the FLYING GOAT HEADBUTT for two. Jericho tries for the Walls again but gets countered into a NO Lock. Jericho rolls through again and loads up the Walls, only for Bryan to roll through and kick him in the chest. A rollup gets two for Chris and after ducking another kick, Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but you knew that was going to be the case when it was happening. Bryan looked fine here, but again I can’t stand that they have one guy get into the Chamber by beating someone already in it. It makes one of the people look weak going into the match, and that’s not good. It’s ok when you do it for one guy at most, but doing it with nearly half the people is annoying.

3MB vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Ryback

Methinks this isn’t going to last long. Slater vs. Ryback gets things going and there’s Warrior gorilla press drop to start. Off to Sheamus vs. McIntyre with Sheamus pounding away quickly. A right hand to the face slows Sheamus down but he comes right back with the forearms to the chest. Off to Cena vs. Mahal and Cena gives a look as if to say “let’s get this over with.” John easily knocks him down and hits the Shuffle before everything breaks down. We get stereo AA/Shell Shock and White Noise with Cena pinning Mahal at 2:50.

Regarding the six man, this was perfect. We got to see how awesome these three can be together, it was short, and it’s not like 3MB loses anything here. I liked this a lot and the idea and execution were perfect.

Ryback says he’s going to feast on Sunday. Sheamus says he doesn’t believe in the Shield but he believes they can fight tonight instead. Cena says if they want some come get some.

We get a clip of Del Rio breaking Show’s bus on Friday and pouring paint on him. Earlier today Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were laughing about it and Show massacred them.

Here’s Big Show to the ring so he can knock out Matt Striker. Show picks up the mic and walks out. Ok then.

Sammartino HOF video.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Dutch Mantel of all people, known here as Zeb Coulter, is with Swagger here. Ryder hits a fast Broski Boot to start but gets sent to the floor for a belly to belly suplex. Back in and Swagger pounds away before hitting a buckle bomb to stop Zack dead. The gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act end this at 2:40.

Post match Coulter goes on a rant about how this isn’t his America anymore. He sees people that don’t look like him that he can’t understand anymore. Coultier wants to get rid of these people and oh dear goodness this ABSOLUTELY CANNOT END WELL. I’m a big political geek and this sounds like a Tea Party character. This cannot end well. Period.

Booker says Swagger is in the Chamber now. Ziggler comes up to whine about Jericho being in the Chamber and says that if he’s in, Ziggler wants in. Booker makes Ziggler vs. Kane, winner gets the last spot in the Chamber.

We recap Lesnar beating up Miz last week.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cesaro is on commentary because the feud continues. Feeling out process to start with Rhodes taking over, hitting a running knee to the face for two. Off to an armbar for a bit but Miz comes back with a flapjack. We head to the floor where Cody is sent into the apron, but Miz has to stop and kick a charging Cesaro in the face. Cesaro gets up and posts Miz for the DQ at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was all for the ending because Cesaro has only beaten Miz once or twice now. I will give them this though: at least they didn’t have Rhodes lose clean, which would have been probably the worst thing they could have done. I’m guessing we get Miz vs. Cesaro on Sunday now.

Post match Cesaro grabs Miz and hits a kind of giant swing, but each time Miz is rammed head first into the barricade. That was pretty awesome.

Wrestlemania Reading Challenge video.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Primo/Epico

Tensai and I think Epico start things off and the fat man takes over. House is quickly cleaned and it’s the suplex from Brodue and the backsplash to Primo for the pin at 1:11.

Post match it’s time to dance. Of and Rosa gets thrown to the floor and beaten up by the Funkadactyls.

Here’s Shield to talk about how they’re here to shield us from atrocities. They call out the three guys that challenged them earlier to a fight right now but there’s no one coming. Rollins says Cena fails every day just by existing, and on Sunday he’ll fail again. Ambrose talks about how Cena lives in his own little world with no idea what the real world is like.

Cena has set the standard for everyone in this generation and is the reason a lot of them are here today. They call out all three guys again and there go the lights. They come back up and it’s Cena, Ryback and Sheamus in the ring to start the brawl. It heads into the crowd and the Shield runs.

We recap the Punk/Heyman segment from earlier.

Damien Sandow makes fun of Nashville’s taste in music.

Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sandow starts fast and hits a Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for no cover. Del Rio avoids a clothesline in the corner and fires off some clotheslines. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Sandow down and there’s the low superkick for two. The Cross Armbreaker ends this at 1:16.

Del Rio praises Big Show’s promo earlier (where he didn’t say anything) because the time for talking is done. It won’t be in a bus or a hotel room, because the only place Del Rio wants to go is Wrestlemania.

Barrett is on the way to the ring when Bo Dallas jumps him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is shaken up because of being attacked. Kofi takes over to start but Wade comes right back with some knees to the ribs and an elbow to the face for one. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Kofi hits a jawbreaker to escape. A kind of splash to the back of the bent over Barrett (for you indy fans, think Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell) gets two as does a top rope cross body. Another springboard misses and the Winds of Change get two for Wade. The Bull Hammer and Trouble in Paradise miss but as Kofi goes to the floor, the Hammer hits for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well he won at least. That’s better than you can say for most matches for the midcard champion anymore. There wasn’t much to see here but Kofi is always good for a decent performance. Barrett vs. Dallas has some potential to be good and the feud is shaping up pretty well.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets to join Bryan, Swagger, Orton, Henry and Jericho in the Chamber. Kane slugs him down to start as Cole and Lawler talk about Valentine’s Day. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and some stomping to the back before pounding away in the corner. Kane tosses Ziggler into the air to slow him down but Dolph bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam.

We take a break and come back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner. Ziggler gets up onto the corner, only to get knocked off via an uppercut. Langston stands over Ziggler as if to say bring it on Kane but Ziggy takes Kane down before the showdown. Back in and Ziggler fires off a bunch of elbow drops but his cross body is caught.

Ziggler escapes again and hits the jumping DDT for no cover. Off to the sleeper for a bit but Kane slams him down, only to get caught with the Fameasser. Kane comes back with the side slam and goes up, but AJ gets the distraction. She gets knocked into Langston which distracts Ziggler just enough for the chokeslam to put Kane in the Chamber at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent match with Kane being his usual decent self. His style fits well with small athletic guys so it was no shock that the match was a success. Ziggler jobs again despite being likely to win the championship in a few months at worst. That’s WWE for you, although Ziggler being concerned about AJ is a new development.

Video on how the Chamber works.

Here’s Rock to end the show. He says that right now is Story Time with the Rock. In 1987, Rock and his family moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Rock signed up for high school as a 6’4, 220lbs fifteen year old. Unfortunately he couldn’t get anything from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. Since he was so big, he hung out at a bar with his boy Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman’s character).

One night at the bar someone showed up (“No not Jeff Jarrett.”) but it wasn’t the person he was hoping it was: Willie Nelson. Instead it was a crackhead who had a car to sell. He wanted $75 so Rock gave him a $40 down payment. “Yeah at 15 years old Rock was hustling a crackhead in a bar.” He was out driving it when he found out that there was another crackhead in the back seat. Rock threw the crackhead out and then thought the car might be stolen. So he ditched the car at 2am in a Burger King parking lot and walked right back to Tootsie’s Lounge, which I guess is a popular place in Nashville.

Two lessons from the story: if you’re buying a car, don’t buy it from a crackhead. Also, don’t be like Rock at 15. Instead be like him at 25 when he had his first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Those matches got him started on the road to where he is today, which is where he’ll be after Elimination Chamber: on top of the world as WWE Champion.

This brings out Punk but Rock says that he’s ready to go right now. There goes the shirt but Punk stops before he gets to the ring. Scratch that as Punk charges in and Rock beats him into the corner. There’s the spinebuster but Heyman breaks up the Elbow. The GTS takes out Rock and Punk walks off with the title. Punk says that if Rock brings it, Punk will take it. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty sweet show as we had a running theme of the Chamber going. Rock sells the PPV as only he can and we’ve got a good six man to give the top stars something to do until the real build to Wrestlemania starts. This was a really solid show though, political “insights” aside. Good stuff here.

Results

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Chris Jericho b. Daniel Bryan – Codebreaker

Ryback/John Cena/Sheamus b. 3MB – Attitude Adjustment to Slater

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Patriot Act

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. Primo/Epico – Backsplash to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross Armbreaker

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and remember to pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

Superbrawl VI
Date: February 11, 1996
Location: Bayfront Arena, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 7,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

So this is an infamous show online for one match which I’ll get to later. It more or less changed a good portion of wrestling due to a joke for smarks and smarks alone, but it didn’t go well. Also it shows the issue of worked shoots. Other than that, Hogan vs. Giant in a cage and Savage vs. Flair for the title. Riveting I know. Savage won it back on Nitro and this is the like 9th world title match between them. Not sure if that’s an exaggeration or not.  Let’s get to it.

I have no idea who that person is that they got to do the voiceover here, but he needs to stop. Totally unfair to let a guy that hasn’t gone through his voice change yet do work like this. Tony talks about how you settle a feud in a cage. True I guess. We have to have a cage match after one guy fell off a roof right

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Now take notes here you fans that want to learn how to be technical master. This is going to be what NOT to do. It’s a street fight which means hardcore in WCW terms. The Nastys are wearing tennis shoes. Why? Apparently it’s so they can move easily. Sure why not. We’re already on the floor. The Public Enemy bailed on Heyman for a little while but they would be back. Sags wears Rocco out with a chair. Nice shots.

We bust out a table and Rock goes through it. But remember, WCW NEVER stole anything from ECW. Pay no attention to WCW using ECW guys and doing their signature ECW stuff. Pay no attention to it at all, because WCW NEVER used any ECW stuff. Simply misunderstood. Bobby tries to figure out what plundah is. Bobby, as a promoter said to you many moon ago, USE YOUR BRAIN and stay out of there.

Dusty isn’t someone you want to try to understand or want to understand for that matter. There’s only one referee here of course, which is just idiotic. Grunge throws soda in Knobbs’ eyes. Dusty says it was acid. Ok then. We go split screen. This can’t be a good thing.

They’re all spent now so this slows WAY down. Fans kind of care but not really. Rock misses a dive from the stands and crashes through a table. Knobbs pins him. This was just idiotic. On a replay we see Rock getting suplexed through a table. The problem is the table doesn’t break where he lands on it. Nice job of protecting stuff there guys.

Rating: D-. Just a brawl here but nothing of note here at all. It just wasn’t very good at all, even for a big sloppy brawl. I have no idea what the point of this was but it didn’t work well at all. Just boring and I think I’ve padded this well enough.

Konnan reads a promo in Spanish, thanking the fans. He reads it off of a teleprompter but whatever. Gene mentions that on the hotline there’s a rumor of two WWF guys jumping here in a few months. Any guesses who those two would become?

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hey they’re a spot lower on the card! DDP has nothing left but his money so he’s putting that up here vs. the girl and the title. Kimberly is more or less a cheerleader here. They have a massive check that just says CASH on it. It’s so beyond stupid I can’t even fathom it. You can see someone that looks a lot like Linda Hogan in the crowd. These two usually have good chemistry so I can live with that.

Badd throws him over the top but they of course alter the rules AGAIN saying that Badd was on the apron and it might not have been deliberate. This is one of my favorite aspects of these matches as I get to hear the excuses for that idiotic rule. Most amusing. Badd counters more or less everything Dallas does which is pretty decent I guess you would say. The crowd is into this so I can’t complain much.

Bobby makes a great point: Badd is trying to win the money so he can hand it to Kimberly? Why? What can Badd gain here? He’s beaten DDP like 4 times now and can lose his title here. What can he gain here? Kimberly’s acting makes Stephanie look like Meryl Streep. Page is in control but he does NOTHING but showboat after he hits a big move. Even Heenan is yelling at him about it. He hit a tornado DDT and literally walks around yelling at the fans and Kimberly for FORTY seconds.

Badd doesn’t move at all the whole time. DDP isn’t very good. Like at all. He just isn’t very good at all and it’s kind of pitiful. Not sure why but it just comes off like that. Pedro Morales is shown. Pay no attention to the two count and the crowd popping during that shot of Pedro either. I’m sure it meant nothing at all. We’re about 10 minutes into this and Heenan says Badd has been worn down these past 20 minutes.

Did he get beaten up by a bus full of nuns before the match? Did a wild moose stomp him for not paying him for that six dollars he borrowed? Top rope sunset flip gets two. A pretty bad Batista Bomb gets two. They trade sleepers. I’m a bit bored here. And then Badd hits a Tombstone of all things for the pin.

Points for them using something other than their finishers to end the match. There was supposed to be one more match at Uncensored but Badd left to become Mark Mero like a little coward. At least that’s what they called him after it. Badd would drop the belt to Luger before leaving.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess, but DANG I’m tired of seeing these two fight. This is what, four straight PPVs for them? We get it: DDP can’t beat Johnny B. Badd. Do you need to tell us that a thousand times? It was competitive, but there was no way Page was winning and everyone knew it.

Harlem Heat talks about their title match against Sting and Luger who beat them for the titles recently. Booker was clearly better than Stevie back then. Apparently the winner of this next match gets to fight the Road Warriors later in the night. Not for the titles mind you, but for the chance for a future title shot. Makes sense right?

Ok apparently later is for the tag titles. At least that makes more sense.

WCW Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Apparently the Road Warriors are guaranteeing the champions retain. I wonder who is winning here. Luger pulls an Eric Young and gets scared by the pyro. That’s rather amusing. Was Sting EVER not a champion? He was one of the only guys that wasn’t crushed by Hogan, which was nice as I was and still am a Sting fan. Tony and Bobby get into a debate about wrestlers on rollercoasters. Just go with it.

Sting and Booker start us off. That’s a plus. Also it’s nice to see a career tag team like Luger and Sting. They feuded at times, but they at least teamed together on and off for years. The main thing here is Sting is pure face and Luger is about half heel at least. They don’t get along, but they’re really good partners. Actually the not getting along part is a stretch. They get along, but Sting really doesn’t like Luger’s tactics.

And now we talk about the double main event for no apparent reason. If WCW announcers stayed on topic for more than 8 seconds at a time I’d be STUNNED. Did Luger ever hit that big elbow he would use? I don’t think so. Apparently no one comes to WCW shows and there is no TV, as Tony says the only way to watch WCW, not WCW PPVs but just WCW, is on Pay Per View. Got it.

Thanks for admitting no one watched Nitro Tony. Luger gets a clothesline to the chest. That looked weird. Stevie messes up a powerbomb. That was AWFUL looking. Stevie proceeds to hold Luger’s neck with no visable pressure on it. Wow that’s idiotic looking. And let’s look at the crowd. Sure why not?

Booker is in now and continues to bore the heck out of the crowd in his control of Luger. Sting gets a tag and the referee doesn’t see it. Sting comes in anyway. Love face tactics like that one. And here are the Road Warriors to hit Stevie in the ribs with something metal. Luger falls on top for the pin. At least it’s over.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. It’s not bad at all I guess, but dang this just wasn’t interesting at all. Should be noted that Sting didn’t see Animal hitting him in the ribs. This was just boring though and while the wrestling is ok, I just wanted it to end in the second half.

Gene asks Luger about the ending but Luger cuts him off. Sting still doesn’t know about it I don’t think.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

So like I mentioned in the Starrcade review, Gang won the title and Konnan took it from him. Here’s your rematch. Konnan actually cared at this point and it was very apparent. He’s moving all over the place at this point and doing all kinds of weird and big spots that are working really well. To be fair though, I could give Gang a run for his money I think.

Konnan runs around and beats up Gang for about two minutes, as in the first two minutes of the match, but Gang gets one shot in and Dusty proclaims that Konnan has barely been on offense. That’s just amusing. A side slam is called a side salto. Apparently Gang has been called one of the best men in the business for years. What kind of undiscovered years are those Tony? Konnan is selling well too here which is helping a lot also.

Let’s show the WCW NASCAR driver for like 30 seconds. Not like we can have anything of note going on in the ring at the moment. There was a WCW Motorsports? Since when? Gang hits his splash and pulls him up. That should more or less seal this one. Gang goes to the middle rope (called the very top by Tony) and misses to ZERO, I mean ZERO reaction. Konnan goes up and hits a front flip onto Gang for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. Again, One Man Gang as a title contender? What in the heck were they thinking??? This was again just bad and the crowd was deader than Konnan’s career. Terrible match.

The Road Warriors will get the tag belts tonight apparently.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman

This is the match I was referring to earlier when I said there was a massive smark joke. This is a strap match where you have to get your opponent to say I RESPECT YOU into a microphone to end it. Fair enough. Pillman sprints to the ring and they have a very unconventional looking fight. It looks very, dare I say, real?

Pillman gets a few shots in, Sullivan gets a few shots in, and then Pillman runs over to the referee, grabs the mic and famously says “I respect you….booker man.” He then leaves. The never even got the strap unraveled to put it on their wrists. After standing around for a bit, here’s Arn Anderson for an impromptu match.

Rating: N/A. This might have broken 45 seconds. Explanation coming in a minute.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson

Anderson is in street clothes here. Seeing him in shorts is weird. Anderson takes his shirt off and we’re getting a match apparently. The Horsemen had been feuding with the Dungeon of Doom in case you were looking for what Anderson had to do with this. If nothing else there’s a point to having Anderson there so it makes sense.

Anderson grabs the mic and has to stop himself from cursing. He beats the living tar out of Sullivan and neither guy will say it. Flair finally runs out and says that this doesn’t need to happen, saying they don’t need to fight, more or less starting the Alliance To End Hulkamania. Flair saved this segment. Flair rants about Hogan and leaves.

Rating: D. Not even a match but for something totally unplanned to fill about 5 minutes this was fine. I’m going to cut this grade short to get to the explanation. Can’t really blame them in an impromptu situation though.

Ok, so what the heck just happened? In short, everyone, including Anderson and Flair, just got worked. Sullivan and Pillman cooked up this idea to have a “shoot” match and a “shoot” angle. This was back in the day where smarks were gaining accessibility to information via the internet. The biggest bit of news was that Sullivan was the booker for WCW, as in he picked most of the matches that aired.

The fans found this out, so Sullivan and Pillman did this kind of as a nod to them. There was one problem: They didn’t tell ANYBODY else. To everyone but them, Pillman had just totally broken kayfabe on national TV and walked out on a match. Sullivan knew what was going on, but the announcers didn’t, the fans didn’t, the executives didn’t, and the wrestlers didn’t.

They threw Anderson out there to try to put on something to make it look “real” in a kayfabe sense and I guess Flair came out there because they didn’t know what else to do or he was the planned ending of the other match. Anyway, later that night Pillman and Sullivan explained what was going on to the roster and a few executives and smoothed a lot of this over. Obviously Sullivan let them keep going with it because it was about half his idea.

So I think the next night on Nitro, Pillman did another “shoot” (remember that it’s all planned but it comes off like it’s real, as in real life real but it’s still all planned) where he says he wants out of his contract and to be released. Here’s where it goes insane: WCW RELEASED HIM. The very higher ups, as in the guys that handled contracts, didn’t know that this was all planned and the roster was in on it, so they let him go.

The thing was, Pillman had no problem with leaving and was in ECW like a day later. He hung out there for a couple of months and then was in WWF free and clear. Now, Bischoff in his book claimed to know about this and that it was all planned for Pillman to go to ECW, but no one other than Bischoff has ever made anything close to such a claim. In short, I don’t buy Bischoff knowing about this for a second.

For one thing, Sullivan had control over the on screen product to an extent so it’s not like he would have needed Bischoff’s permission for this. Also, with Bischoff stealing talent from ECW at the time, such as Konnan, Benoit, Malenko and Psicosis to name a few, something tells me there was NO WAY Heyman would have been in the mood to let Bischoff have a favor like that. As a worked shoot though, this was one of the best ever as even Flair and Anderson bought it apparently.

Giant and Jimmy Hart say they’ll beat Hogan tonight. He’s still not any good on the mic, but he’s trying.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

There’s a very nice little face/heel thing as Sting slaps hands but Luger, who is behind him, doesn’t. Nicely done. Luger tries to leave but Sting talks to him and gets him to come back. Thanks for wasting our time like that. And now we do that again. Is this in Memphis or something? Seriously we’re just waiting around here. Heenan gets a good line in by saying that the Road Warriors were at a restaurant today and 4 people hung their coats on their spikes.

Dusty calls them the Legion of Doom. I think that’s been said in WCW before but I’m not sure. Hey Sting is in! Luger….not so much. Luger runs AGAIN. This is rather annoying. He hasn’t been in the ring yet and was introduced 3 minutes ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, LEX ORTON! Sting could dance a softshoe and it would be more entertaining here. Four minutes plus and he’s FINALLY on the apron.

Dang I was looking forward to Sting dancing. Wow that’s an odd thought. Sting takes a dropkick and sells it like he got shot. This is a bizarre match. The Road Warriors are wrestling them. This is weird stuff man. Luger comes in and not a lot changes at first. The challengers are mad at him over some undisclosed thing done on Nitro. Apparently Luger screwed them over somehow and they’re mad about it.

Yeah they’re mad and they’re using arm bars. Why does this seem idiotic to me? Sting gets a top rope splash that misses. That looked awesome though. Sting might be the most complete wrestler ever. Is there a point to this anywhere in the near future? I highly doubt it.

We get the big brawl and naturally there’s a double DQ. This is the closest we would get to a showdown here as Sting and Booker would team up at Uncensored to fight them in a dumb and complex angle. Just terrible.

Rating: F+. What the heck was the point of this? Seriously, the Road Warriors were trying to wrestle. Yeah it failed completely. Just a terrible match overall and it came off really badly. I was bored out of my mind for about 15 minutes and that’s rare for me.

Flair says his usual stuff. His facials are of course great though.

Savage’s bad arm which was good at World War 3 is now bad again. Savage got the title back after losing it at Starrcade which isn’t mentioned yet. The cage is lowered.

Liz, looking GORGEOUS in a tight blue dress, is interrupted by Savage who looks especially awesome for no apparent reason. He naturally talks about Hogan before doing his regular promo. My cousin looks like Liz actually. Minus the whole now dead part.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Yes, Hogan goes on last, ahead of the world title. For those of you that read my TNA rants, this is where I got the idea that he would do stuff like that. Woman was hot back in the day too. To say Liz was gorgeous would be an understatement. Flair cuts a short promo and more or less laughs at Savage. And say it with me: he stalls. Savage goes at him like a crazy man. Always good to see a character being able to act like himself in there.

Remember the top on the cage? It must be invisible. Naturally there’s no top on it. That doesn’t make this a cage match. It makes it a fence match. And two minutes in, Flair punches the referee. Ok then. Well at least he’s Flair so it makes sense. Flair gets a backslide but there’s no referee. He’s back up like 20 seconds later. Was there a point to that that I’m just missing? They mention there’s no Benoit so far tonight.

Yeah we can have the Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy, One Man Gang getting a TITLE MATCH and two Sting/Luger matches, but we can’t fit Benoit, a Horsemen, on the card. See what I’m getting at when I criticize Hogan’s questionable booking practices? Guys like Benoit, one of the most talented workers of all time, can’t make a PPV card? Seriously? Give me a break. Is there a referee shortage tonight?

This guy has refereed like three matches so far. Savage hooks a figure four on Flair which is always a nice touch. Unless Dusty does it. Then it just freaking sucks. For no apparent reason, Savage lets go of it. Ok then. Savage goes to the top of the cage. Being the rocket scientist that he is, he climbs down and keeps the title. Naturally he doesn’t jump down while he has a ten second advantage that a feeble old man could have managed to escape the cage inside of.

Nah he couldn’t do something like that. Only an idiot would do something like that. Not Savage. Nope not him. He’s too level headed to do that. The match is already over and he’s in the shower. OH OF COURSE HE JUMPS ON FLAIR.

Flair controlling now as I wonder what kind of crack most faces are on to be so stupid. Has there ever been an intelligent main event level face? I mean dude, CLIMB THE HECK DOWN! Figure Four is let go of again, this time by Flair. ARE THERE ANY INTELLIGENT HEELS??? Woman can scream louder than Melina. Think about that for a minute. Flair is bleeding. And there go his trunks. Can we fast forward on that part?

Savage gets a cover and they ring the bell early. Did the ring announcer just release early after seeing Flair’s trunks go down? Seriously? That can’t be a good sign. Dare I say Flair is sauntering? It certainly looks like he is. And now we see them come down againAGAIN. DANG IT USE TAPE OR SOMETHING! And now Savage and he are on the top rope where he pounds Flair from behind while he’s exposed. I love double entendres.

Flair apparently is energized by ramming his head into the cage. The door is opened for no apparent reason. Due to Flair’s heavy bleeding, we go to a wide shot. When I say wide I mean you can see the second or third row on all sides. Woman throws powder that misses. Liz turns heel by giving her shoe to Flair as we get a nod to the Mania 8 ending as Savage rolls Flair up for two.

A shoe shot to the face gives the title to Flair. Seeing Liz smile is worth it. Great to see the new champion’s face in that wide shot where you can see half the crowd. Hogan comes out to chase the girls (write your own jokes) and goes after Flair and Anderson, who just ran down here, with a chair but it doesn’t work. Tony says nothing can be done about the cheating because it’s basically a cage match. I thought it was a cage match literally but then again I’m no professional.

Rating: B+. Solid match here with a legit surprising ending. It’s no classic, but it’s good indeed. Flair vs. Savage had a tendency to prove that main event matches could be classics without Hogan being involved. Hmm and oddly enough Hogan consistently beat them both for the title. I wonder if there’s a coincidence there. Anyway, very good match.

Hogan rants about Liz and has one eye bandaged thanks to a shoe to the eye last week. He says he now has no guard on his blind side. Boo hoo.

The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s another cage match. Yeah we couldn’t end on the great cage match. We need HOGAN BLAST IT! Giant is introduced as the man that literally returned from the dead at Halloween Havoc. Why can no one learn the meaning of that word? Hart is called a dapper gentleman. What the heck ? LOUD Hogan sucks chant just after the bell rings. That’s just amusing. But remember, the fans don’t know what they want and they really love Hogan.

Seriously, what do you expect here? It’s Hogan vs. a monster in a cage match. You know the drill I’m sure. Dusty says Hogan doesn’t fight for money or anything like that. WOW. Giant stomps on his fingers. That must have made rubbing lotion on his 19 year old daughter difficult. Poor choice of words. Actually it isn’t. Giant pulls Hogan to his knees and Tony credits it to the fans and Hulkamania.

I would say taking a shot every time the announcers suck up to Hogan is a great drinking game but in reality it’s a recipe for suicide. The announcers point out the idiocy of not going for Hogan’s eye when there’s a huge bandage on it. Actually you could argue that going for the other eye would be smarter but you get the idea. Ah now he’s going for the eye. There we are. Might not be a good idea to suggest having Hogan fight blind.

It might give him an idea to throw a fireball at someone so they’ll make a big comeback while blind. Sadly, that happened against Warrior in 98. Naturally it didn’t work and Hogan nearly lost his eyebrows when throwing the fireball. That might be the worst match ever. Sweet goodness this is boring. No use of the cage yet either. Say it with me: perfect timing on that. And now let’s hit a bearhug. Brain thinks you wouldn’t want to lose your sight.

The fans are seemingly bored here. They still love Hogan though. Oh I know: they’re holding their breath in fear for their hero right? The chokeslam is called a chokehold. And remember, Schiavone knew all kinds of dives and planchas at Starrcade, but with Hogan he doesn’t know that when you choke a man and slam him at the same time it’s a chokeslam. Sure why not. Oh NOW it’s a chokeslam.

Tony makes me cringe by saying Hogan came back from the chokeslam like Giant came back from FALLING OFF THE ROOF OF COBO HALL. Yes, a chokeslam is equal to falling off a roof. Only in WCW. Three legs hit and Giant sits up like Undertaker. Tony cracks up laughing. Great selling there buddy. They fight on the top rope, Giant falls with a THUD, Hogan climbs over and we’re done.

Rating: F+. On a house show, this is a fine main event. For one of the biggest PPVs of the year, this was boring. Just boring on so many levels and nothing but a massive blowjob for Hogan from the announcers. Just 15 minutes of Hogan praise, but we’re not done yet.

Hogan gets in the ring with a chair and here comes the Dungeon of Doom. I count 8 people in there, including Giant. THEY DON’T LAND A SINGLE SHOT. Hogan literally is beating up 8 guys on his own. And here’s the Lock Ness Monster, a guy that weighed 700lbs that was there like four months.

He can’t get in because the Dungeon holds him back. Read that as he’s too fat to get through the door. Yes, Hogan just beat up EIGHT GUYS ON HIS OWN AFTER A FIFTEEN MINUTE CAGE MATCH AGAINST A FORMER WORLD CHAMPION. I can’t believe what I just saw. Oh wait. It’s Hogan. Sure I can. Abyss’ theme music takes us out.

Overall Rating: D-. Just WOW. There is one good match on this card. One. That’s it. That match was the world title match and of course, Hogan BEATING UP EIGHT GUYS AT ONCE goes on last. When I say he beat them up, I mean no one touched him. It was like seeing an arcade master play the first level of an easy game. That’s pitiful. How deep did he bury those guys with that nonsense?

Do you have any idea how bad they look now? Seven of them are FRESH and they can’t get a single shot in on a guy that’s had a 15 minute match. I mean seriously, how inept did they just look? To top it off, Hogan would get a cage match against most of them plus 2 more monsters and would beat them officially with the help of Savage next month.

It was those two matches that more or less killed any realistic credibility he had as a face for years, resulting in the heel turn. This was an abomination and is only what it’s rated as because of the good world title match and the passable TV Title match. This was horrible and it can more or less be solely placed on Hogan and his pushing of his buddies. Just awful. GET US TO THE NWO!

 

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Against All Odds 2008
Date: February 10, 2008
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

I’ve actually done the show after this which is a rarity for me in these reviews since I more or less do random shows more often than not. Anyway this is one of the shows that wasn’t in the Impact Zone which is always kind of interesting to see. The main event is Angle vs. Christian with Angle defending the title and Joe as guest referee. Other than that the card looks as dull as ever. Let’s get to it.

 

We actually get the Star Spangled Banner with a big military thing. BG James and his dad Bob Armstrong (why do they have different last names?) are in the group of marines.

 

The opening video is about war or something like that. We see clips of presidents saying things that have nothing to do with war at times. Uh there’s something about barbed wire and the Hallelujah Chorus. This was in a word, odd.

 

Tag Titles: Bob Armstrong/BG James vs. AJ Styles/Tomko

 

James (Road Dogg) won the Feast or Fired tag title shot and picked his 67 year old dad instead of Kip James (Billy Gunn, you know, his partner in one of the most successful teams of all time) because TNA thinks we know who Bullet Bob Armstrong is or even stupider, that we care who he is. Members of the National Guard are at ringside. I’m trying to remember why there would be a very patriotic theme to this show and nothing is coming to me.

 

AJ is the Prince of Phenomenal and a clueless putz at this point. Aj wants an explanation from Tomko about why he hasn’t called AJ this week and has been hanging out with Christian so much. I’ll spare you all a lot of jokes here. Tomko says worry about the tag match, not anything. Armstrong looks like he’s waiting in line at a soup kitchen or something.

 

James vs. AJ to start. Very basic stuff to start as AJ acts like an idiot and James drills him. Oh dear it’s Armstrong time. Armstrong slaps AJ down and it’s off to Tomko. More slaps abound and we thankfully get someone in there that isn’t on Social Security. And yes I get that Armstrong probably used to be very good. That being said, he’s pushing 70 here. I get that he may want to do this and may be in great shape, but the problems here are numerous.

 

First off, he’s 67 years old. Do you think it’s safe for a man born in the 30s to be in there against men that are much stronger and faster and in better condition? I don’t care how well trained he is or how great shape he’s in. It’s too much of a safety risk for my taste.

 

Second, this is taking up ring time from ANYONE else that could use it. Having it be his dad is nice and sweet but no one knows who he is, this is a one off appearance, no one cares it’s just pointless all around.

 

Third, it makes AJ and Tomko look bad because every spot with Armstrong in there they have to sell like crazy for him. Also they have to slow things WAY down for him to keep up with them. Again, if you want him there as manager or support etc, fine but let someone that isn’t more trouble than they’re worth be out there. I’ve never been a fan of matches like these in the slightest. Point being here, where Tomko, the enforcer for the top heel in the company, is having to sell for a man that hasn’t been a regular competitor in years.

 

It takes AJ interfering to let Tomko take over. Kurt and Karen are watching. AJ gets two on Armstrong. Now we get to see the monster known as Tomko hammer on a man older than Pearl Harbor. Off to James and AJ now and there are the punches. AJ misses a springboard forearm and it hits Tomko. Pumphandle for two on AJ. Styles manages to get a dropkick to the knee though and the champions’ finisher, the Tornado Plex (Combination spinning neckbreaker/side suplex) ends James.

 

Rating: D. This is a glorified handicap match and a bad one at that. Road Dogg is a guy that I liked in the ring despite him not being focused on as far as his wrestling went. However he was in way over his head here as he had to carry his dad the entire time. I’m sorry but I do not see the point of this at all and I don’t know anyone that doesn’t work for TNA that does either.

 

Karen is panicking and she screeches a lot. She wants to know when’s the last time Kurt did something special for her. Kurt says whenever she’s in his presence it’s special. It’s so weird to think they would be divorced later in the year.

 

We run down the card.

 

We recap Traci Brooks vs. Payton Banks, both of whom worked for Robert Roode. Allegedly he hit Traci so she left him. This is the required grudge match.

 

Payton Banks vs. Traci Brooks

 

Banks is awful and Brooks is only good at coming out to a knockoff of Rag Doll by Aerosmith. Traci slaps her and takes her into the corner to start us off. Total brawl to start so far as it’s mainly just pounding and choking. We hit the floor for awhile which gives us more brawling. All Traci so far. How exactly do you hit someone with authority?

 

Payton takes over and we go back into the ring. Backcracker gets two. Crowd is totally behind Traci here. She gets a bad running kick to take over. Traci goes up but Banks knocks her off and continues her punching. Ah never mind as Traci grabs a quick schoolgirl for the pin after nothing of note at all.

 

Rating: D+. Well they were clearly trying. They had some aggression out there but at the same time the lack of skill kind of hurt them. Again, Traci is one of those chicks that needs to just stick to wearing tight or non-existent clothing. This wasn’t the worst match ever, but it’s nothing good at all.

 

We recap Steiner vs. Petey Williams. They both had Feast or Fired cases and Steiner elected to trade his out of fear. Naturally he had the world title shot and now wanted it back. Williams is Maple Leaf Muscle at this point. The winner gets both cases.

 

Scott Hudson of all people talks to both guys. Apparently the other case was the X-Division Title shot. Petey lists off why he’s awesome and Steiner says he’s had more matches defending his matches with his world title than Williams has had matches. And yes that’s how he said it.

 

Petey Williams vs. Scott Steiner

 

Petey likes to copy Scott which he was told not to do pre-match. They pose for a bit which is a bit more disturbing than it should be. Steiner easily overpowers him of course so Petey tries to speed things up a bit which doesn’t work either. Some strikes work a bit for Petey but it’s hard to fight against a big overhead belly to belly. Elbow and pushups follow.

 

Another belly to belly off the top gets two but Steiner pulls him up. Steiner gets an Angle Slam off the top but again pulls Williams up. He goes to the floor and gets the two cases, wedging them between the ropes as you often see done with chairs. The referee stops him but Williams manages to shove Steiner into the case. Rana takes Steiner down for two. Canadian Destroyer is countered into an Alabama Slam for a long two.

 

Steiner Recliner can’t get on though as Williams rolls him up instead for two. Williams hits a dropkick and a slingshot Codebreaker to set up a top rope crossbody for two. Williams puts on the Steiner Recliner which is as miserable of a chinlock as I’ve ever seen. Tornado DDT gets two for Williams. Steiner gets sent into the other case and a missile dropkick puts down Steiner. Rhaka Khan debuts and distracts Petey so that a Last Ride can end Petey.

 

Rating: C-. Better match than you would expect but Steiner was never in any real danger here. I never got the appeal of mini Steiner in the form of Williams. Steiner never really went anywhere until the Mafia came up. This was watchable but at the same time it wasn’t anything great at all.

 

Kurt is ticked about Karen leaving him earlier. Jeremy has a book coming out apparently and is going to give Kurt tips. JB plays Kurt and Kurt plays Karen. Is this supposed to be funny? Kurt slaps him and says he needs something bigger. Thursday is Valentine’s Day and JB suggests they renew their vows on Impact. This is getting downright creepy. Naturally AJ comes in and it’s not funny.

 

We get a video about the Drinking Championship and Eric “training” for it at bars. This is of course, stupid.

 

World Beer Drinking Championship: James Storm vs. Eric Young

 

One very awesome thing is that you can tell that Storm and Roode’s songs were merged together to make Beer Money’s music today. That’s very awesome. Yes this is an official championship match. The belt has a beer bottle attached to it. I hate to admit it but the pyro fear thing makes me smile. Storm jumps Young as he high fives fans and we need a bell. Hey there’s a bell!

 

Young gets a Thesz Press out of nowhere to get some punches in. A clotheslines sends Storm to the floor so Young can hit a top rope cross body to really take over. Jackie is out there too and being her usual irritating self. Back in and Storm is able to spit beer in his face thanks to Jackie’s interference.

 

Storm gets an enziguri to the head and it sends Eric to the floor. Hiptoss to Young on the exposed concrete gets two back in the ring. We head to the floor again and Young gets a suplex onto the concrete. Storm gets an Orton DDT back in the ring for two. Apparently the barbed wire massacre match is going to be in the Impact Zone due the athletic commission in this state, meaning it’ll be taped.

 

Storm in control here until he misses a charge in the corner and here comes Eric one more time. Belly to belly by Eric gets two. This is a better match than it probably should be. What it has to do with drinking is beyond me but whatever. A front flip from the top misses by Storm but Eric’s moonsault hits for two.

 

I hate when that happens: big spots like those should end matches. Jackie comes in, her head goes into Roode’s balls and a Death Valley Driver to both at once gets two. See what I mean? Jackie tries to interfere and Rhyno pops up, returning from his relapse with alcohol I believe, and Gores Storm so Young can get the pin to retain.

 

Rating: D+. This was good until the ending when it got stupid with the kicking out every five seconds. Rhyno returning set up more of him vs. Storm which is a stupid feud over a stupid concept. Either way this was just ok but the big spots being kicked out of every time got annoying.

 

Rhyno says he’ll explain things on Thursday.

 

A chick is with Jim Cornette at the Impact Zone. Apparently this was taped almost three weeks prior. He shows us how sharp the barbed wire is.

 

We recap ODB vs. Awesome Kong. Kong is the new champion and ODB is the one chick she hasn’t beaten. End of storylines.

 

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Awesome Kong

 

They pull each others’ hair and ODB tries a slam which fails completely. ODB hits the floor and Raisha Saed, Kong’s mouthpiece, gets in her face. Back in and ODB is sent into the corner and a splash crushes her. Out to the floor again with Kong in control but her knee is hurting. ODB grabs her chest which is enough to wake her up somehow.

 

This is dull if you didn’t get that. Kong tries the powerbomb but ODB fights her off and sits on the top rope. Kong hits the spinning backfist to the head and we’re back on the mat again. Thesz Press is caught so ODB, who isn’t a small girl by any means, tries a dropkick. The Thesz Press from the middle rope gets her down though but she still can’t slam Kong. Implant Buster gets two.

 

ODB nips up to avoid a middle rope splash and slams Kong for two. Gee maybe if it was bigger than a slam it would have worked. She gets a shot from her flask to wake her up. ODB can’t put Kong down still though. She hits Saed though and there’s the spinning backfist and the Awesome Bomb from Kong to retain.

 

Rating: D-. This was sloppy, dull, not interesting and just weak overall. They tried but the similarity of styles hurt it too much. You need power vs. speed rather than power vs. power. It took the Beautiful People to stop Kong and they were a breath of air into the division. This was pretty weak though.

 

James Mitchell says he’s going to send Mesias in and Abyss is going to be in pain. This feud went on so far too long that it’s unreal. Mitchell could certainly talk though.

 

We recap this part of the feud. There was something about Abyss shooting his father who was James Mitchell and he and Mesias are brothers or something. It’s a huge mess if you didn’t get that part.

 

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

 

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

 

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

 

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

 

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

 

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

 

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

 

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

 

Robert Roode blames Booker for Sharmell’s injury. Also she looks like a horse. Not a bad promo as it was simple but effective.

 

We recap the feud which more or less is Roode accidentally hit Sharmell at the PPV last month. This feud went on forever and it never got particularly interesting, mainly due to the girls in it being non-wrestlers. Roode said it wasn’t his fault and he said that Booker should be thankful.

 

Booker says nothing of note.

 

Robert Roode vs. Booker T

 

Sharmell isn’t here due to the injuries. Booker goes straight for Roode as it’s a brawl to start. A brawl in TNA? NO WAY!!! Side slam by Booker is one of the first break in a lot of punches. Roode has had virtually no offense in nearly two minutes. He’s thrown to the floor where Payton Banks tries to tend to him. Back in the ring and Roode FINALLY gets some offense in.

 

Nothing special but at least it’s a change in the pace here. And never mind as Booker reverses and kicks his head off after being on defense for about 30 seconds. Banks gets in the ring for no apparent reason and Booker almost does what Roode did to Sharmell the previous month. The distraction lets Roode take over though and he has his first real advantage all match.

 

Knee to the ribs puts Booker down for two. A clothesline is almost countered into a Book End but Roode reverses. Dropkick gets two on Booker and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up and gets a superkick and a spin kick to put Roode down again. Spinebuster sets up the Spinarooni. Dang he’s so angry he almost forgot to break dance.

 

Booker kicks Roode in the leg for no apparent reason and Roode rakes the eyes so they can slug it out for a few seconds. Scissors Kick misses but Roode is backdropped to the floor. The brawl is on the floor until Roode is thrown back in. And never mind as he goes through the other side and they head up the ramp. Yep it’s a double countout. Screw me running.

 

Rating: D. The match was just ok but the ending cripples this. It was nothing great anyway until then and all this means is it sets up a mixed tag later to end this feud that I think went on even longer afterwards. This was a feud I never got into and didn’t really care at all. Weak match, awful ending.

 

They fight more in the back as Roode tries to get away. Roode throws Banks out of the driver seat of a car and speeds away in it.

 

We get a video on the main event which is completely pointless.

 

Kurt tells AJ and Karen about the renewal of their vows. This would result in AJ accidentally marrying Karen. Just go with it. Karen leaves and Kurt talks to Christian and says this is his last shot and that once Kurt wins he’s in charge. Oh and Joe better stay out of Kurt’s way.

 

We recap Team 3D vs. the X-Division. Team 3D has Johnny Devine, the X-Division traitor and its champion with them. The deal is it’s a street fight and if Team 3D/Devine win then the X-Division is gone. If the X guys win then Team 3D can’t wrestle until they’re under 275lbs each. Oh and if an X guy gets the win they get the title. Not sure if they have to pin Devine or not.

 

Bubba says that Lethal has heart but the Guns don’t. This is supposed to be a very serious promo but it doesn’t come off as one for some reason.

 

Jay Lethal/Motor City Machineguns vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

 

This is a hardcore street fight and Lethal had been rapidly rising through the ranks recently. I’d expect a showcase match for him here. It seems that any X guy can pin any evildoer to win the title because that’s how wrestling titles are supposed to be right? As expected it starts in the aisle. It’s Lethal vs. Ray on the table. Now those two are in the ring. The other four are off fighting…somewhere.

 

Lethal in control as the Guns are in the ring now. There’s a sign that says USE MY SIGN. Lethal takes it and it’s a Dead End street sign underneath the paper. Triple plancha by the X guys to take out the heels on the floor in a cool spot. Everyone in the ring now as the X guys have controlled the whole time. Triple Tornado DDT get 2’s all around. Someone brings in the weapons including an inflatable woman. Oh dear.

 

The kitchen sink is brought in of course because that’s been funny the last 19 times it’s been done right? Another triple cover gets two. The Dudleys get a double suplex on Lethal. The heels take over and the fans want tables. The X Guys take over again for a bit. This is one of those messes of a match which has no flow at all and is just a big fight that goes back and forth.

 

3D to Sabin and one for Shelley as well. Lethal takes D-Von down but Ray kills him with a clothesline. The fans still want tables. So Cal Val is crying over Lethal. This is before she turned on him I guess. Lethal flips off Ray as Val tries to intervene. Ray grabs her by the hair and whips out a cheese grater. He licks her face for no apparent reason until Lethal can make the save.

 

Big chair shot to the head of Ray by Lethal but D-Von pulls the referee out just in time. Remember what I said about Lethal doing this on his own? It’s literally 3-1 at this point and Lethal is getting near falls out there. Lethal Combination gets two on Devine and then he gets two on D-Von. He walks into a Bubba Bomb though which somehow only gets two. Dude the Guns have been down what, five minutes now on those 3Ds?

 

D-Von sets up the tables and the Dudleys are suddenly faces. Lethal fights off the Dudleys again but here’s Devine with that street sign. Jay gets it and pops Devine over the head with it, sending him to the table. Top rope elbow through the table and through Devine saves the X-Division. This match ran twelve and a half minutes and I kid you not it was 3-1 for at least four of those.

 

Rating: C+. Lethal dominance aside this was ok. The ending is completely absurd and Lethal looks way too good here, but the main issue is that this went on too long. The match was too wild and the first half is very hard to follow. Still though, not bad although I wasn’t bored at all with it. Exciting but not good for the most part, but I think that was the point so I’ll let it slide.

 

Sonjay Dutt comes out to celebrate with Lethal.

 

We get the same main event recap from earlier.

 

Christian says he knows more than everyone else. Oh and no one knows who Hudson is still which is kind of funny. Christian says Joe deserves a title shot but not tonight because this is Christian’s night.

 

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

 

Samoa Joe is the Special Enforcer which he’ll get a title shot in exchange for being. After the Big Match Intros it’s time to go. Karen is at ringside as is Joe. They slap it out a bit in the ring and it’s a long feeling out process. Kurt controls with a headlock on the mat as we’re waiting on something to actually happen. Angle takes Christian down with a shoulder and it’s back to the headlock, but time by Christian though.

 

Belly to back gets two but Christian moves out of it and back to the headlock. Joe is on the floor and looks rather bored. Somebody get that boy a Twinkie before he passes out. On another note, more headlock. Kurt is sent into the post and Christian dives off the top to crush Kurt on the floor. Back in the ring now with Christian taking too much time and getting dropped on his shoulder from the middle rope.

 

Joe gets out of his chair and gets on the apron a bit which disrupts Kurt’s mojo a bit and it’s back to Christian. And never mind as he gets suplexed up and over the top rope. Kurt tries to get a weapon but Joe knocks it out of his hand and shoves Kurt down. Christian takes over again but Kurt grabs an Angle Slam out of nowhere and drops him on the apron with it. Sick bump there.

 

Back in and Angle gets a buckle bomb for two. Off to a body scissors by Kurt now as we need a breather I guess. I can live with that as they’ve been going for about ten minutes now. Rolling Germans by Kurt has Christian reeling. He manages to reverse the third one though and Kurt is flipped over his head and lands on his face in a nice bump. They hit the ropes a lot and Kurt runs into a flapjack. Edge-o-Matic gets two.

 

The Canadian goes up top and Christian tries the running the corner suplex but Christian bites the head and hits a frog splash for two. Angle Slam is reversed into an arm drag and we hit the floor. Kurt tries to German him off the apron but Christian holds the ropes for dear life. Back in the ring there’s the ankle lock and Christian is in trouble. There’s a rope though and we’re back to Kurt being in control.

 

Straps go down but the Angle Slam is reversed into a sunset flip for two. Angle rakes the eyes and this time gets the Slam for two. Well of course it was only for two. Moonsault misses and Christian goes up. Running suplex misses but the second time he manages to get a Samoan Drop from the top for two. Angle gets in his face but Christian is able to grab an Unprettier out of nowhere for a long two.

 

The referee takes a clothesline and Christian grabs the ankle lock. Joe comes in as the replacement referee and checks for the tap. Karen tries to help but gets pulled in as well. Christian lets go of the hold and gets slapped by the chick. Kurt saves his wife and Christian gets a rollup on Kurt for two. Karen gets knocked down and a double clothesline takes down both guys.

 

Joe puts Karen in a chair at ringside and here’s AJ for the interference. Joe grabs AJ off the apron and they fight into the crowd. Kurt grabs a chair while those two fight in the audience (read as Joe massacres him). Christian gets the chair but also takes a low blow. Tomko runs in to save Christian from the chair shot and then turns on Christian, hitting a spinning neckbreaker. Angle wakes up the referee and gets the pin to retain.

 

Rating: B-. Well it was good but at the same time it was overbooked beyond belief. It was way too overdone with there being Karen, Joe, AJ and Tomko all getting involved as I guess a 20 minute match between Angle and Christian wasn’t good enough. This was pretty good but the angles in the main event at this time were pretty bad as everyone and their mother knew it was just wasting time until we got to Joe vs. Angle with Joe taking the title. Good wrestling, bad booking.

 

Ad for TNA I guess ends the show.

 

Overall Rating: D. I watched this on Wednesday and Thursday and now it’s about 11:40 on Thursday night and I don’t remember half of the card. This was not only forgettable but once I did remember it, it was bad. This didn’t work for the most part as everything was either bad or forgettable. The best match is the main event and that’s just slightly ahead of ok. It’s not much of a show but this wasn’t the best era for TNA at all. Everything was a mess and nothing was incredibly easy to care about. Anyway, there’s another TNA PPV for you all.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

My girlfriend and I took in a Smackdown house show tonight in Louisville, Kentucky.  Naturally I took some notes.The place was very empty for the most part.  The KFC Yum! Center (what a horrendous name) holds roughly 22,000 but the entire upper deck was tarped off, there were LARGE sections in the lower arena sectioned off, and large portions of quality seats were just empty.  I’m bad at guessing crowd sizes but if there were 8,000 people there I would be stunned.

The new (well old now) house show set does help things a lot.  it’s nothing great or flashy but it makes things feel a lot more special than just walking through a black curtain.  There are two mini trons and a big X which has the theme of the wrestler (i.e. Sheamus’ is green, Del Rio is red, white and green etc) and a mini ramp.  It’s a BIG upgrade and makes things look a lot better.

We were told to tweet our pick of the stipulation for the main event: No DQ or 2/3 falls.  No DQ was up about 80 to 20 when they stopped showing the results.

We got the standard videos from WWE: Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, Saturday Morning Slam, WWE App etc.

The main shirts I saw were Cena and Rock with a few Rybacks throughout the arena.  Mainly Cena though.

Kofi Kingston vs. Heath Slater

The crowd was white hot all night and this was no exception.  My theory of Kofi as the modern day Tito Santana continues to grow.  Kofi was INSANELY over and looked great all match.  The crowd booed Slater but it was nothing compared to the pop for Kingston.  It was a pretty basic match with Kofi working on the arm until the other 3MB members distracted him.  There was a funny spot where Kofi did the air guitar and hip shake which got a good reaction from the crowd.  In a very impressive move, Kofi hit a dropkick and from where we were sitting, Kofi’s entire body was above the ropes.  That’s INSANE when you think about it.

The big spot of the match was Kofi kicking Slater down and using him as a stepping stone to hit a big dive onto 3MB.  Mahal and McIntyre were thrown out after about five minutes and Slater started taking over.  Slater beat on Kofi with some basic stuff and hit a pretty sweet neckbreaker for two.  Kofi made his comeback and hit the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise missed.  Slater went up and jumped into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at about 12:00.

Rating: C+. The ratings will be shorter than usual here.  This was a great choice for an opener and the fans loved Kofi.  The main thing here was that the match was kind of slow at times, but that’s more than forgivable.  This was probably the second or third best match of the night.

Aksana vs. Alicia Fox

This ran about NINE minutes and the crowd started filing in.  My entire notes about the match: Aksana sucks, Alicia isn’t bad, ax kick hits back for pin (for Fox).

Rating: D-. The match sucks and it’s ALL on Aksana, who looked lost doing anything of note.

Chimmel was plugging the Twitter thing again when Shield interrupted him.  They talked about Orton and Sheamus being brought to justice tonight and get in a great line: “It’s Evolution or Extinction.”  That line is ten years too late and it’s awesome.

Fandango vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Yep, I got to see Fandango, and he’s still Johnny Curtis.  No one cared about Fandango, like at all.  he had some chick that was dancing with him during his entrance but she went to the back for the match.  Both guys danced a bit with Tatsu doing the Rick Rude hip swivel.  Fandango was very generic with his stuff and came off like any guy from NXT.  That’s the problem with the gimmick: it has nothing interesting at all to it and there’s zero reason whatsoever to boo him.  He’s just a guy who dances.  We have no idea if he’s a good guy, a bad guy, or anything about him at all.  Anyway the generic heel (assuming that’s what he was) broke up a springboard attempt by Tatsu and hit a spinning downward spiral for the pin at about 6:40.

Rating:  D. If this is any indication of what’s coming, Fandango isn’t going to last long.  There’s no reason to care about him and while it was clear he’s a heel, there’s no reason to know that other than he’s fighting Yoshi Tatsu.  I don’t remember him cheating, I don’t remember him acting arrogant, I don’t remember him doing anything evil.  He just dances, and I guess that makes him bad?

Wade Barrett says he’ll win the main event and the world title.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Shield

Handicap match here.  Orton and Sheamus got by far the biggest pops of the night respectively.  This was a brawl to start after Shield came through the curtain instead.  It was about what you would expect from this kind of a match.  In one funny bit, Rollins was in trouble and Orton stopped the other two before they came in.  During the distraction, Sheamus choked Rollins in the corner and shrugged at the fans as if to say “it’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”  Rollins got beaten down to start, Sheamus got beaten down for a bit, and Orton got the hot tag.  Orton hit his usual stuff and loaded up the RKO but the other Shield guys came in for the DQ at about 11:00.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match but a clean ending would have been nice.  it wouldn’t have been smart, but it would have been nice.  You certainly can’t have Shield losing in a 3-2 match and expect them to beat Ryback, Cena and Sheamus at the same time.  Anyway, fun match and the fans were going nuts for Orton.  Sheamus had his fans too and was very over, but Orton’s pop for the hot tag was insane.

Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicked a chair into I think Rollins’ face and it was RKO’s and Brogue Kicks all around.  The heroes went around high fiving everyone and signing a bunch of stuff.  THat went on for probably close to ten minutes.

15 minute intermission.

Sin Cara/Great Khali vs. 3MB

That’s a pretty odd tag team on the face side.  This was about what you would expect: Khali started and cleaned house, Cara got tagged in and got beaten down, Horny beat up Heath Slater, hot tag to Khali and the Plunge ends Mahal at a time that I forgot to check.  It was less than ten minutes for sure though.

Rating: C-. This was fine.  The main thing to note was how Sin Cara botched the one main high flying move he has still: the spinning armdrag out of the corner.  Basically he didn’t rotate enough and McIntyre wound up on top of him instead of falling over.

Cara seemed to be favoring his shoulder post match but it didn’t seem that bad.

Conor O’Brien vs. Brodus Clay

Conor is from NXT and is the only member left of Ascension.  He got to do his full entrnace minus the lights and with the big coat.  It didn’t do much for the crowd but for NXT fans it was awesome.  he needs a partner though. O’Brian cut a promo about not being happy and says he’ll destroy our hero and then rise.  This would prove to be incorrect as Conor did next to nothing significant and Brodus came back with his usual to win with the splash at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This was short but decent all thigns considered.  O’Brian needs the full entrance for the character to work and it looks stupid in the light.  Clay and the Funkadactyls (who now have pom poms) danced a lot.

Tony CHimmel dances with Brodus and company post match, holding his heart after the fact.  Funny stuff.

The fans vote for No DQ.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Wade Barrett

BIG pop for Del Rio after Barrett said he hated Louisville and said the crowd clearly wanted barbarism by picking a No DQ match. Barrett stalls for a long time to start which suckers Del Rio in.  He pounds on Alberto for a bit and then gets kicked a few times.  Barrett goes to the floor and tries to walk out with the belts, only to be stopped by Ricardo.  Wade chased him around and Del Rio hit a sweet baseball slide to stop Barrett cold.

Barrett brought in a kendo stick and accidentally tapped the referee int he head with it before laying out Del Rio.  That got two and Del Rio came back again, only to get beaten down by a chair.  He went shoulder first into the psot to give Wade two but Del Rio came back with some LAME kendo stick shots.  The Winds of Change got a two count as did the Backstabber out of the corner.  Del Rio brought in a table but got sent into a chair int he corner.  Ricardo distracted Del Rio and a bulldog put Barrett through the table to retain the title at about 17:30.

Rating: B. Definitely the match of the night here with the fans being WAY into Del Rio’s comebacks.  Barrett looekd good in a match he had no chance of winning here which is a good sign for him.  The match worked quite well and Del Rio continues to be on a roll.  The table was a nice touch and something you don’t see much anymore.  Good stuff here.

Del Rio signed some autographs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As you can see, the biggest problem with this show was the lack of star power.  After Orton, Sheamus and Del Rio, things drop WAY off.  The show was definitely fun and entertaining enough for the price ($15 each) and we had a great time, but it was nothing I’ll remember in a week or so.  Raw had a show at the same time in Missouri which had Punk, Ryback, Jericho, Ziggler and every other major star I’m forgetting.  Anyway, good stuff here and it was a fun, although forgettable experience.

Due out April 30.Disc 1

Simplistic Yet Brilliant

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi
In Your House • May 14, 1995

Intercontinental Championship Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Shawn Michaels
In Your House • July 23, 1995

Hey Yo

Intercontinental Championship Match
Razor Ramon vs. Dean Douglas
In Your House • October 22, 1995

Arkansas Hog Pen Match
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry O. Godwinn
In Your House • December 17, 1995

A Sloppy Masterpiece?

WWE Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog
In Your House • December 17, 1995

Disc 2

Memories Flooding Back

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel
In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies • April 28, 1996

WWE Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind
In Your House: Mind Games • September 22, 1996

That’s Why They Play The Game

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
In Your House: Buried Alive • October 20, 1996

Buried Alive Match
The Undertaker vs. Mankind
In Your House: Buried Alive • October 20, 1996

Crowning a New Champion

Four Corners Match for the Vacant WWE Championship
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart vs. Vader vs. The Undertaker
In Your House: Final Four • February 16, 1997

Disc 3

Back in the Saddle

10-Man Tag Team Match
The Hart Foundation vs. Steve Austin, Ken Shamrock, Goldust & The Legion of Doom
In Your House: Canadian Stampede • July 6, 1997

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
Ground Zero: In Your House • September 7, 1997

A Slobberknocker

Non-Sanctioned 8-Man Tag Team Match
Stone Cold Steven Austin, Owen Hart, Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie vs. HHH, The New Age Outlaws & Savio Vega
No Way Out of Texas: In Your House • February 15, 1998

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin & The Undertaker vs. Mankind & Kane
Fully Loaded: In Your House • July 26, 1998

Intercontinental Championship Match
Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind
Judgment Day: In Your House • October 18, 1998

Victory at All Costs

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
The Rock vs. Mankind
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre • February 14, 1999

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Blu-ray Exclusives

Todd Pettengill Outtakes

In Your House Sweepstakes Winner

#1 Contenders Match
Bret Hart vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
In Your House: Revenge of the ‘Taker • April 20, 1997

Match to crown first WWE Light Heavyweight Champion
Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher
D-Generation X: In Your House • December 7, 1997

WWE Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock
D-Generation X: In Your House • December 7, 1997

D’Lo Brown vs. X-Pac
Fully Loaded: In Your House • July 26, 1998

Credit: WWEDVDNews.com

 

There are some GEMS on here, including Michaels vs. Mankind (released before), Shawn vs. Diesel (might have been released before), the 10 man tag (I’m almost sure that’s been out before) and the Four Way from Final Four which is a forgotten classic.  I’m very happy with this one.

The year of 2001 is gone and we’re now into the year that might be even worse in 2002. At this point we’re getting close to the Brand Split that has dominated the company since it first started. On the Raw side, the year would be dominated by some surprising champions in the form of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, but by the end of the ear we’ll be getting a DX reunion and a big feud over the newly created World Heavyweight Championship. This is the first full year when WWF had no competition so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,978
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the night of the loudest pop I’ve ever heard in wrestling as HHH is back from eight months of recovery from quadriceps surgery. To say there’s nothing else going on tonight is an understatement, but that’s going to be the case for a lot of these shows in the future. We’re coming up on the Rumble and if you can’t guess who is winning that, I can’t help you. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is set to Beautiful Day as HHH is back tonight.

Tonight we have a tag team contest “for the ages.” It’s Booker T/Big Boss Man vs. Rock/Austin. If those are the ages, then the ages are lost.

Here’s Vince to open things up with a blue box. This is during the time where he and Flair co-owned the company and Vince isn’t happy. We get a montage of Flair’s triumphs of the 80s and 90s, which would be much better if it wasn’t set to Cocky by Kid Rock. We also get a clip of Flair announcing himself as the new co-owner of the WWF. Then Flair challenged Vince to a match at the Rumble and punched Vince out at the same time. Vince goes to the box and pulls out….a Flair wig and robe. He does a Flair strut which finally brings out Naitch. Stupid sign of the night in the crowd: “Rick Flair is God.”

Flair talks all slow and respectful before going into a classic rant, talking about how McMahon will NEVER do this again no matter what. He says he’s Ric Flair and Vince is not so take the wig off RIGHT NOW. As Vince takes the robe off though, he blasts Flair in the head with a hidden pipe. Flair gets posted and stomped on for a bit as well.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

The idea here is that Test can do whatever he wants because he has immunity from a battle royal win at Survivor Series. Test pounds away to start but Van Dam comes back with a spinwheel kick to take over. Another spin kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb and the Canadian pounds away on the head. A clothesline in the corner gets two and it’s off to the chinlock already. Rob fights up and escapes a suplex before kicking Test’s leg out.

Van Dam kicks Test down but Test kicks the referee into the ropes for the crotch. The referee and Test get in a shoving match which gives Van Dam two. Test misses the big boot so Van Dam kicks him to the floor where Test grabs a chair. The referee is shoved down again and it’s the Van Daminator to set up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just ok for the most part. The Test storyline didn’t really go anywhere as at the end of the day, he’s just Test. He was a whiny guy that never did anything of note after the year 2000, so why should anyone care that he’s shoving referees around? Nothing to see here.

Angle is annoyed at HHH getting all the attention when he isn’t even here. He has a big announcement of his own, but he’ll save it for later.

Trish and Terri argue at WWF New York, resulting in a wet t-shirt contest later tonight. This was back when Trish was a blonde head of hair and a big rack and nothing more.

Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck aren’t entirely gay yet, but Billy does suggest that they should be in the wet t-shirt contest rather than the girls. Billy and Albert get things going and it’s Albert taking over on both of the guys in red. We get the COMEDY spot of Billy being sent into the corner and falling face first into Chuck’s crotch because that’s funny right? Scotty comes in with a neckbreaker for two on Chuck but Billy blasts him in the back to take over. The heels take over for a bit, but Scotty comes back with a DDT on Chuck to put both guys down.

There’s the hot tag to Albert as the fans are nearly comatose. A powerslam gets two on Chuck and there’s a splash in the corner to Billy. Chuck hits Billy by mistake and Scotty loads up the Worm. After a dancing accompaniment by Albert, the Worm gets two but Billy breaks it up. Chuck superkicks Albert down and the Fameasser is enough to pin Scotty.

Rating: D. This would be your second straight lame match that doesn’t accomplish anything and is really here just to fill in some time. I’d almost think that they were intentionally having a boring show so that HHH’s return looks all the more awesome, but they would NEVER do something like that right?

Jericho demands more respect and doesn’t want to face Rikishi, even in a non-title match. Oh and he sucks up to Vince for a bit.

Michael Cole is in a yellow shirt and is WAY too excited. Austin comes up and gives him the still fresh WHAT treatment. Austin says he saw HHH here in the back and he isn’t sure what to think of it. He knows what it’s like to come back from a nearly career ending injury. That being said, he didn’t want to say hi to HHH.

Tonight he’s here to enter the Royal Rumble, which is the match where you take a man and throw him over the top, then you take another (WHAT), then another (WHAT), repeat I kid you not 28 times. He actually said it that many times. Also tonight Austin is teaming up with the Rock, which prompts a bunch of WHAT’s. Austin is really into this at the moment and it’s working really well.

Lawler has a watergun and gets to emcee the t-shirt contest.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Edge is defending. Storm immediately jumps Edge and clotheslines him in the corner. They trade some fast rollups and Storm hooks the Canadian Maple Leaf (half crab). That goes nowhere so Edge elbows him in the face a few times and hits the Impaler to retain. This was barely a minute long.

William Regal jumps Edge as he leaves and it’s the Power of the Punch for the champion.

Buy the WWF Magazine to read EVEN MORE about HHH.

Angle complains to European Champion Christian about HHH returning. It was Angle that saved the company at Survivor Series and it’s Angle that brings happiness and joy to children every day. They make fun of Beautiful Day for a bit too before Angle gets in this gem: “I tore my quadricep this morning and I’m here tonight!” When Angle is on, he’s WAY on and he certainly was here.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Booker T

Booker and Boss Man are Vince’s cronies and they’re fighting the heroes. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Rock vs. Booker on the floor and a Thesz Press to Boss Man back inside. They switch partners and it’s Austin vs. Booker to start things off. A hot shot puts Booker down as Boss Man is rammed into the table a few times. Austin throws Booker to the floor so Rock throws Boss Man inside.

It’s time to stomp a mudhole as the Super Best Friends are completely dominant so far. Another clothesline puts Boss Man down and it’s off to Rock. The big jumping clothesline gets two for Rocky but Boss Man hits a kind of running clothesline in the corner to take over. Off to Rock who gets his face slammed into the mat, only to come back and send Rock to the floor. Back in and Booker stomps away but Rock pops up for a quick slugout.

A spinebuster puts Booker down but Boss Man breaks up the People’s Elbow. There’s the Book End but Austin comes in to break up something that hadn’t started yet. Boss Man comes in to fire off a knee to Rock’s chest and Booker adds a superkick for two. Austin comes in to break things up again and this time it’s enough for the hot tag to the Rattlesnake. Boss Man seems to have issues with any spot where he has to be lifted into the air. Everything breaks down for a third time and the Stunner pins Boss Man.

Rating: D+. Tag match for the ages? This? This was two legends beating up a big name and a guy who was over the hill nine years before this. It was clear that Austin was losing steam at this point as there was no fire in him here at all. He wasn’t terrible looking or anything, but at the end of the day he’s beating up Big Boss Man. Can you blame him for bailing in a few months?

Beer is consumed.

Apparently Rikishi gave Test a Stinkface recently.

Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Rikishi shoves him around to start and loads up a quick Stinkface, only to have referee Nick Patrick block it for no apparent reason. We head to the floor where Jericho rips the padding off the barricade and whips the fat man into it to take over. Back inside we go and Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick. The Lionsault misses though and the fat man starts his comeback.

A kind of Alabama Slam puts Jericho down and there’s a Samoan Drop for no cover. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Patrick blocks it again. After shoving him away, Rikishi misses the Banzai and Jericho heads to the floor. He grabs one of the belts but the swing misses and Rikishi superkicks Jericho into Patrick. A Stinkface only hits the referee and it’s a belt shot to Rikishi’s non-stereotyped head for the pin.

Rating: D. Did we really need a crooked referee, a belt shot and a cheating win for Chris Jericho to beat Rikishi in less than four and a half minutes? The match was dull and mainly there for the chance of Rikishi hitting a Stinkface, which isn’t really all that interesting at the end of the day. Another nothing match.

Big Show, Torrie and Tajiri have an awkward moment talking about HHH until Angle comes in and accuses them of acting like teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert. Tajiri does a Martin impression. Next.

We recap the Vince/Flair thing earlier.

The Dudleys get in a confrontation with Tazz and Spike, who they defend against in a bit. Wouldn’t this be better suited for more than five minutes before the match?

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

This is hardcore for no apparent reason and Stacy is with the Dudleys. It’s a brawl to start with Spike being sent into the steps. Bubba sprays him with a fire extinguisher as the fans want tables. Spike tries a sunset flip on Bubba, only to get blasted with the extinguisher again. A HARD trashcan lid to the face puts Tazz down and What’s Up Tazz? Bubba wants tables but whispers it because he’s evil right now.

Tazz is almost put through but Spike makes the save with a stop sign. There’s a Tazmission to D-Von but Tazz has to let it go to move a table. Stacy flashes Tazz to distract him but Bubba gets the view instead, allowing for a suplex onto a table. Spike puts him through the table with a Dudley Dog for the upset and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match was fast paced but not all that great. The problem here was that at the end of the day, does anyone buy Spike and Tazz as a long term championship team? It was clear that they were transitional champions, which is ok, but it doesn’t do much overall. The live crowd loved this though and there was a match before this to set it up, so it was far better than some other angles I’ve seen that tried to do the same thing.

Undertaker says he’s winning the Rumble, and wishes HHH bad luck.

It’s time for the wet t-shirt contest now. Terri goes first and Jerry freaks out as you can see through her shirt. Trish leans against the ropes to get wetted down, but Jazz runs in to beat her down and end the contest. This was about what you would expect from it.

Here’s the reason this show exists: HHH makes his return to the absolutely loudest pop I have ever heard in MSG and likely the loudest I’ve ever heard anywhere. I mean the place EXPLODES. He poses for a good long while as the fans will not stop cheering. That’s very awesome when you think about it. HHH says he’s the Game and he’s back to another huge reaction. He officially enters the Rumble and here’s Angle to break it up. Kurt says that he too will be in the Rumble which is the big announcement he’s been talking about all night. The brawl is on and HHH of course gets the better of it, hitting a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show isn’t bad but it’s clear that all they’ve got to hope for at this point is HHH. His return was awesome, but they’re not going to have an MSG crowd to bail them out of a weak show week after week. Next week is the go home show for the Rumble though so we’ve got a lot of changes coming up which would be changed even more in a few months. Not a terrible show but it’s nothing worth seeing other than the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday. Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

That’s very true in this last week.The Divas have been absent from Raw and Smackdown and I’ve grown much fonder for WWE TV.

This is an interesting story that I only see one side to for the most part.As you’ve likely heard (at least you have if you follow this site, which you should), TNA is taking their TV tapings national, meaning they’ll be going around the country.  WWE has started going to mid-sized areas around the same areas for house shows to try to sabotage TNA.  Some TNA fans are crying foul over this, but I have absolutely no problem with TNA doing this.

 

TNA is the company that tried to start the second Monday Night Wars (remember that pitiful attempt?).  Now they’re trying to go national to compete with WWE.  Look at what WWE has done both times: they’ve fought back.  How can TNA fans claim that this is unfair?  It’s like picking on someone and then getting annoyed when they punch you in the jaw.

 

TNA is the company trying to move up the ladder.  If the people at the top of the ladder don’t want them there, they can fight back.  You can’t try to move up and then complain that a larger company is playing unfair.  In the words of Scott Hall, TNA wanted a war and now they’ve got one.  The problem is WWE has a lot more bullets and much bigger tanks.

 

I really don’t see how WWE has done anything wrong here or why TNA and/or its fans have any reason to complain.  If WWE is viewing them as an annoyance (saying WWE views them as a threat at this point is laughable at best) and wants to crush them, I’d think of that more of a good sign for TNA than anything else.

Apparently the company that hosts my site is going to be doing some maintenance on the servers Saturday night at midnight EST.  No word on the length of time the site will be down but odds are it won’t be that long.  Just to be clear though: everything is fine and the site will be back up a few hours (presumably) after it goes offline.

 

KB