Smackdown
Date: February 4, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the first show since we officially started the Road to Wrestlemania with Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge being the tentative match for the title at the biggest PPV of the year. Edge/Kelly vs. Ziggler/Laycool for the title tonight which certainly sounds intriguing. Also expect the beginning of the set up to Elimination Chamber. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Where I live it’s SNOW.

There’s a fiesta tonight apparently and there’s a Wrestlemania piñata. Yes let’s take something we love and are looking forward to and beat it with a stick.

Here’s Booker T and he’s apparently the new member of Smackdown’s announce team. Cool, and based on what he looked like at the Rumble hopefully he’s an occasional wrestler. We get a Spinarooni to really get the crowd going. Booker got a good reaction. It’s like he hadn’t been around since 2007.

Vickie interrupts Booker’s entrance and says that we’ll get qualifying matches tonight for the Smackdown Elimination Chamber which will be for the title. Ziggler is with Vickie. She orders Kelly to come out here right now which prompts a bunch of screeching. Ah there she is. Booker’s voice is much better than it was when he did some commentary with TNA. It’s clear and deep instead of hard to understand.

Vickie yells at Kelly, saying that without her interference Dolph would be the world champion. She’d rather humiliate Kelly instead of firing her. Kelly is going to cost Edge the world title tonight. Kelly says Vickie is trying to destroy her character. Kelly has a character? Oh she means her personality. Kelly has a personality? Ah ok she’s saying Vickie is a bad person. Makes more sense.

Dolph blames Kelly for the world title loss because she allowed Edge to hit the illegal spear. We see a clip of it, which makes me wonder why Vickie doesn’t just reverse it since she’s GM and there’s proof Edge broke the rules. Dolph: “Now Vickie can’t reverse the referee’s decision.” Wait why not? She can do ANYTHING but she can’t reverse it? She can’t make the referee reverse it? She can’t show the referee the tape and have him do it for her? I love the ever changing rules in wrestling.

Anyway Ziggler yells at Kelly, blaming her for him not being champion. The only reason she’s here is because she may be the reason Dolph wins the world title tonight. Until then she can get out. Kelly slaps Dolph and shoves Kelly. Cue Laycool until Edge comes out for the save.

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

Non-title here. We get a clip from Raw of Orton attacking the New Nexus and putting out Harris. I missed him RKOing Harris so I thought Harris was down from the Cobra for like three minutes. That punt looked good too. I might be missing something but it sounds like Corre’s music is different here. Kozlov vs. Gabriel to start. Booker is having some issues getting in on the commentary here but I can definitely give him a break on the first night.

Off to Slater vs. Santino. Booker says Cole talks a lot of nonsense so he’s definitely a nice guy commentator. He talks about how there has to be a leader on all teams, but Josh has to lead him into it. Slater gets a nice reverse DDT to Kozlov and the 450 ends this perfectly clean at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was just long enough to rate but there wasn’t much here. The DDT was nice but that’s about all it had going for it. I really don’t get the idea of having your tag champions constantly lose clean. Corre could use some titles I guess so I could live with the titles changing down the line. Very short even at a surprising level.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

We’re told that Edge and Ziggler are automatically in the Chamber because Edge is champion and Dolph just because. Booker has no comment on that. We’re of course talking about the Chamber and since Booker has experience in one, Cole cuts him off every few seconds. Basic back and forth stuff to start us off. Booker talked to Drew and he says he’s the Chosen One but Booker isn’t sure.

I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s one of the main aspects of the show tonight. Kofi gets a jumping back elbow for two. Not a lot is going on in the ring anyway so the commentary and how Booker is doing is a bit more interesting anyway. Armbar by Kofi as they’re seeming to have issues getting off the ground here. Could be a slow build though which is fine.

Pendulum kick in the corner breaks the little bit of momentum Drew had and a clothesline puts him on the floor. We hit the floor with Kofi in control until Drew manages to get a modified flapjack to send Kofi into the steps as we take a break. Back with Drew getting a back elbow for two. Wisely Drew goes after the ribs with something close to an abdominal stretch on the mat.

Kofi gets dropped on the ribs in a gutbuster which gets two for McIntyre. Drew gets a nice dropkick to put Kofi down for two. Cole rants about Lawler for awhile until Drew tries a clothesline. Kofi jumps up into the air and spins around, catching Drew with a DDT. That was awesome looking. Kofi hammers away in the corner and stomps a mudhole in him.

Superman punch/clothesline gets two. Boom Drop hits and Kofi wants Trouble in Paradise. Drew manages to avoid the kick though…and here’s Ricardo on the big screen to introduce Alberto? He doesn’t say anything but just stares down Kofi (remember Kofi beat him in a tag match last week). The distraction is enough for the Futureshock to end it at 9:42 shown of 13:12.

Rating: B. This picked up in the second half but wasn’t as good as some of their other matches. Still though, this was pretty solid. Also if it sets up Alberto vs. Kofi to fill in time until Mania I certainly can’t complain. Either way, decent enough match and Drew going to the Chamber gives him something to do while the Kelly story develops.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

This should be pretty good. The push-ups are back! Apparently Cody Rhodes is going to have facial reconstruction surgery next week. Swagger’s boots are a brighter color and they’re taking some getting used to. Rey sends him to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Swagger sending Rey into the corner which gets him nowhere.

Rey gets a cross body for two. 619 is avoided though so Rey tries what might have been an Asai Moonsault. Jack blocks it though and Rey’s legs are tied up in the ropes. Back to the ring with Swagger working on the knee. The leg goes around the post which gets two. Back to the floor with Swagger in complete and utter control. After knocking over a Red Bull we’re back in the ring.

Vader Bomb gets two. Swagger picks him up and throws him across the ring. I love basic moves like that. Another Vader Bomb misses though and here comes Rey. Tornado DDT takes Swagger down for two. Rey tries the 619 but Swagger grabs the legs for the ankle lock. Rey is in the ropes though. Not that it matters though as Swagger pulls him back to the middle. Rey sends him into the corner and gets a kick into a rollup to end this at 8:37 shown of 11:07.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for some reason. It’s definitely good and Swagger working on the knee is a good story for the match. My issue with it though is that Rey didn’t have to do much at all to take over and win here. That’s not good in my eyes as it makes Swagger look weak. I get that Rey is the superhero but can they make it look like they’re trying?

We get a clip from Raw of Alberto picking his opponent.

Edge and Kelly are in the back and Edge says he didn’t think his title reign would end like this. Kelly says Edge has no faith in her and that Edge is just like Drew McIntyre before storming off.

Here are Horny and Rosa who looks a bit different now. They throw some t-shirts to the fans until Ricardo introduces Alberto. He says his usual stuff while Horny and Rosa are still in the ring. Alberto has a present for Horny: the piñata. The candies and toys are symbols of everything he wants to give to all his fans here in New Jersey, drawing nice heat (show is in New York).

Horny is blindfolded and swings the stick while the piñata is still in the air. Naturally he misses and hits Alberto in the balls. Alberto enters a higher level of heelness as he kicks Horny in the head and hammers away. Kofi runs down for the save. Ricardo distracts Kofi though and Del Rio beats him up with the stick and throws on the cross armbreaker.

Stone Cold is hosting Tough Enough. Booker throws in that he’ll be a coach on Tough Enough. That’s kind of cool actually and something he’d be great at.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Uh…yeah. I wonder if this lasts longer than their Wrestlemania match. Well there’s that record. Chavo goes up and is caught in the chokeslam. He counters though by clothesline Kane over the top. Frog Splash hits but Kane catches him in the chokeslam from the mat and it’s over at 1:02.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Yeah Corre definitely has new music here and it’s much better. It’s a toned down song this time that still has lyrics. All of Corre comes out and surround the ring. This is for the final spot in the Chamber. Barrett has to keep moving and gets a shot to the knee to take over. Barrett gets sent into the corner where he crushes the referee. Jackson comes in to run over Show but only gets two. And never mind as a DDT by Barrett ends it seconds later at 2:00. This was incredibly quick.

Show tries to fight off Corre post match but gets slammed. Jackson grabs a mic and says the end has come, it has awakened against you.

That sets the Chamber at Edge vs. Ziggler vs. Barrett vs. McIntyre vs. Mysterio vs. Kane.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Post match Kelly gets fired. So Vickie can fire people but can’t coerce a referee to change a decision? She yells at Kelly about how she never cared about Vickie and how this is her show and all that jazz. After Kelly is gone, Vickie makes Edge vs. Dolph for next week with her as guest referee. Perhaps a title change for a quick title reign before the PPV? Zig Zag to Edge out of nowhere ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a bad show but a bit different than what they’ve done recently. Either way this was a pretty good show. They set up the Chamber perfectly and also gave us more of Ziggler vs. Edge. They’re doing a decent job of channeling Vince vs. Austin with Austin being put through a nightmare. The one key thing though: they’re not trying to recreate it but rather use a similar story. That’s very important. It’s not Austin vs. Vince. It’s Edge vs. Vickie. Let it be that and it’ll be a good story. Anyway, not bad at all this week.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Futureshock

Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kane b. Chavo Guerrero – Chokeslam

Wade Barrett b. Big Show – DDT

Edge/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Kelly speared Layla

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s finally up and available for sale.  This is my first try at this and odds are I didn’t do it as well as I had hoped.  Please check it out as it’s only $5 for 240 pages worth of reviews.  That’s probably more than you spend on lunch every day and since odds are you’re most likely eating something unhealthy, buying this instead will prevent you from having a heart attack and dying by one extra day.

From what I understand this is available on all international versions of Amazon as well.  If you’re not from America, search “KB’s Complete 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews” to find it.

This is on a Kindle format but if you don’t have a Kindle, there are free apps for just about every electronic device you could own.  Here’s a link to every possible one.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

If you have any other questions please let me know.

KB

I started doing some math last night and the numbers are a bit saddening.The first TNA heel superstable was S.E.X.  It ran from the winter of 2002 until June of 2003.  We’ll call this six months.

After that came the Kings of Wrestling which evolved into Planet Jarrett/Jarrett’s Army.  Combining the two, this ran for just shy of two years.

Then came the double stables of Christian’s Coalition and the Angle Alliance.  These ran from February of 2007 to April of 2008, or about 14 months.

The Main Event Mafia ran from October of 2008 to approximately October of 2009, giving us another year.

Immortal started October 10, 2010 and ended either October 16, 2011 or April 15, 2012 depending on what you consider their actual ending.

Aces and 8’s has been running for seven months now.

Some quick math tells you that, from a conservative standpoint, TNA has spent over six years running superstable angles.  That’s more than half the time they’ve been in existence as a company.  To say they’re repeating storylines is an understatement.

The Main Event II
Date: February 3, 1989
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

First and foremost, this was on my first birthday, meaning the day I was born, a year prior to this, as in the day of my birth, isn’t my birthday. I’ve never understood that. Anyway, this is more or less the big moment for the Mega Powers Exploding as we have the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers and one other televised match.

This is live by the way. It’s one of those cards where you have the full card and then two matches or so on TV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a graphic about the tag match complete with a fake newspaper talking about how big and awesome this match is. That’s so corny that it’s awesome. A recap video follows it as basically the Twin Towers are always going after Hogan, Savage and Liz. This is complete with the newspaper thing every time. This is so over the top that it’s great.

I miss the SNME theme song and since this is a spin off it’s the same song. Rock on.

The Twin Towers and Slick cut pure 80s heel promos which are still awesome. I love this era so I’m probably overblowing it but you get the idea. Dang Boss Man is huge. The thing they keep pushing this as is three against two which two can’t win.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! NOT MY PROBLEM!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the tar out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald moron right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

Hogan goes to the back where Savage is losing his mind, talking about how the champion is supposed to be #1 to Liz who is laying on the table with apparently NO ONE checking on her at all. We now get the greatest promo of Savage’s career as he just goes off on Hogan, ranting and raving about how Hogan has stolen the spotlight from him since day one and how if Hogan wanted a title shot all Hogan had to do was ask and he would have beaten him 1-2-3.

He talks about how Hogan is jealous and lusting after Liz before DRILLING with the belt and beating the living heck out of Hogan in probably the biggest heel turn in company history at the time. I’d put it ahead of Andre as it was on a bigger stage and Savage’s promo was better.

Beefcake comes in for the save and Savage just ends him with like two shots, showing how worthless he was at the time. Savage leaves Hogan laying. Totally AWESOME segment and one of the best promos that I can ever remember anywhere with Savage letting out a year of frustration and paranoia all on Hogan with everything he said making perfect sense for once. Great segment and well worth checking out.

Hercules vs. Ted DiBiase

In short, DiBiase bought Hercules and referred to him as a slave, causing Hercules to rebel and turn face in the process. Obviously no one cares at this point after their minds have been blown to Mars at this point by what they just saw. The announcers rightfully talk about almost nothing but the Mega Powers which for once I’m fine with.

We cut to an interview with Hogan which isn’t going to happen. Instead we’re told he’s in no condition to talk. No music for DiBiase yet. Hercules jumps him before he can take the fake suit off and beats up Virgil for fun. All Herc so far as DiBiase’s movement in the ring is still impressive over twenty years later. Ted finally sends Herc to the floor.

The crowd is staying in this one which is kind of surprising. Herc keeps having those power kick outs which are always kind of cool. Very basic match here but fairly well done. Then again I like both guys out there so that might have something to do with it. Powerslam by the power dude means it’s time for…Hercules to charge and have no apparent move in mind.

Virgil wraps Herc’s chain around the buckle but DiBiase goes into it for two. Hercules gets his backbreaker (torture rack) but Virgil grabs the leg, allowing Ted to get a quick rollup with the tights to end it. DiBiase gets beaten up a bit post match but it’s nothing special at all.

Rating: C-. Just a match to fill in some time after the huge angle earlier on. It’s not bad or anything but there was nothing that would separate this from a house show match or something like that. It’s ok enough though and more or less blew off this mini feud which is a plus I guess.

Hogan literally grunts and grumbles about Savage. There are no sentences or anything like that but just random words. He sounds like the Incredible Hulk or George Steele before running off and screaming RANDY in a funny moment.

Slam of the Night is about Jake Roberts who has nothing to do with this show at all.

Vince and Jesse talk a bit.

More of Hogan who can now say Macho as well. He randomly beats up Jim Neidhart, grabbing him by the beard and slamming him into a wall. Dang man ticked off Hogan is awesome! He shoves various other people including Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. He keeps looking as we go off the air. This was kind of awesome actually in a weird way.

Overall Rating: B+. This was all about setting up Mania and the huge heel turn and to say it worked was an understatement. All of a sudden Savage is this mega heel after being unbeatable for the past year and you have Hogan who never lost the title clean to challenge him. Naturally this happened on PPV and drew MILLIONS.

The wrestling here is just ok but this did exactly what it was supposed to and more so it’s definitely a win. I doubt you can find a complete show without looking for a long time but DEFINITELY check out Savage’s promo and the match if you can as it sets it up. Both are available on the Best of Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD which I highly recommend as well. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews

Evolution officially formed on Raw, setting off well over a year of domination of the show.  The team, composed of Randy Orton, HHH, Ric Flair and Batista, represented the past (Flair), present (HHH) and future (Orton and Batista) of wrestling.  To say the team was dominant is an understatement, as they held all of the titles at the same time and three members would wind up winning world titles.

Apparently last night a transformer blew up near my hosting company’s headquarters, causing the site to be down for a few hours.  As far as I know, everything is still the same and all well and good.  Let me know if you have any issues with anything working.

KB

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 2, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Dave Brown

After Monday’s show, the tag titles are vacant. There was some kind of a controversial finish in the Fabs vs. Lawler/Jarrett and we’ll have a rematch two days after this show. Gee, I wonder if they’ll have Lawler talk a lot about it here. I’ve been enjoying these shows as they fly by pretty fast and Lawler is awesome at this point. Let’s get to it.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony dropkicks Stan down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Miller is kicked down by Stan Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Lawler makes the save post match.

After a break Lawler says he’ll be at a sporting goods store today so come see him and get some free stuff. We get a clip from the tag title match on Monday where the Fabulous Ones cheated to hit three piledrivers on Jarrett. Lawler finally got the hot tag and cleaned house. The referee went down and Lane took a piledriver. Jamie Dundee, future wrestler but current referee, comes in to call for the DQ as the regular referee was waking up to count the fall.

Lawler says the titles are being held up and Dundee will be in their corner for the rematch on Monday. Also the special guest referee will be Jackie Fargo. That’s a huge deal. Lawler talks about the history with Fargo who mentored all three of them (Lawler and Fabs) and how the Fabs are nothing to be proud of now that they’re with Cornette. Solid promo here from Lawler.

Video on Jackie Fargo and his influence on the Fabs. This includes a clip from 1982 with Fargo saying if the Fabs ever changed their attitudes, he’d leave them.

Cornette talks about how the deck is stacked up against them because there’s no other way for Lawler to beat them. He says that after they get the titles, they’ll take out Fargo. That’s crossing the line to the Fabs and Keirn rips into him. They leave and Cornette is panicking.

Mid-South show ad.

US Male Curtis Thompson (a mailman) says he doesn’t want to be with Robert Fuller anymore. Neither does his new partner, who is named Chris Walker.

US Males vs. Bill Rush/Sgt. O’Reilly

So one of the guys is named US Male and the team is the US Males? So Walker doesn’t mean much at all here does he? Walker and the Sarge start and it’s off to the mailman quickly. Thompson slams him a few times so it’s time for Rush. A gorilla press gets about 10 reps and a suplex/cross body combination gets the quick pin.

Uptown Bruno’s boys run their mouths for a bit.

Brian Lee/Doug Gilbert/Dirty White Boy vs. Freezer Thompson/TD Steel/Night Train Jackson

White Boy and Thompson start us off and all of the heels get slammed. The first thirty seconds of this has Bruno saying one LONG sentence. Jackson has a pretty awesome name. Freezer gets taken down and it’s finally off to Steel. Jackson comes in and is immediately triple teamed and pinned. Squash here.

House show ads.

Lawler introduces some guys from the sporting goods store that he’ll be at later today.

We meet a new team called the Eliminators. One is in a mask and the other isn’t Kronus. The guy in the mask talks and that’s not Saturn so these are different Eliminators.

Eliminators vs. Keith Eric/Chris Frazier

The Eliminators go crazy and it’s a wild beating before the bell. We start with the masked one vs. Frazier with the latter being quickly thrown to the outside. Frazier gets thrown into the corner and a double team sets up a kind of top rope cross body/shoulder block for the pin. Total squash.

Mid-South show ads.

Cornette brings out the Fabs again and it’s the same thing again: Keirn will not jump Fargo, period. Since the last time they were here, a kid asked him to do anything but hurt Jackie. Keirn says he won’t fight Jackie no matter what and leaves. Cornette is freaking out and says they’ll win anyway because they’re awesome.

Tom Pritchard and Terry Garvin are here with Uptown Bruno and say they’re awesome, but they don’t want to be in Memphis. They support Funk, not Lawler and Dundee. Pritchard wants Jarrett’s Southern Heavyweight Title. Garvin says he’s a barber and is going to cut hair starting today. He says Danny Davis gets his blonde hair from peroxide, not his mama’s side or his daddy’s side.

Tom Pritchard/Terry Garvin vs. Danny Davis/Jerry Lynn

Pritchard and Davis start things off and that goes nowhere. Double tag to Lynn and Garvin and they run the ropes. Garvin hurts his knee on a leapfrog but he’s goldbricking. Lynn hits a king of tilt-a-whirl to take him back down and it’s back to Davis. His neckbreaker gets two and everything breaks down. Bruno sprays something on a towel and runs in to smother Davis with it, drawing a quick DQ.

Both guys are knocked out by the ether rag and Davis almost gets a haircut but the save is made.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show as the stuff about Jackie was really interesting and a nice touch to add to the story. It makes this feel like a much bigger match rather than just another match where the tag titles are up for grabs. That’s really been missing from the shows so it’s nice to see them add it in. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I was watching Wrestlemania V (for the Wrestlemania Redo Series starting March 10) and during a match I saw a guy that came off as the Kofi Kingston of the 80s.This man would be Tito Santana.  He was a multiple time tag team champion, a multiple time Intercontinental Champion, and very popular in his own right.  Tito also got the occasional world title match but was never a serious contender for the world title.  This is the exact same kind of character that Kofi is now and it got Tito into the Hall of Fame and made him a legend.  There’s nothing wrong with staying at the same level that Kofi is at now and if he stays there for another few years he’ll be just fine.

Judgment Day 2004
Date: May 16, 2004
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 18,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another part of the times before the dark ages with Eddie as champion on this Smackdown show. The main event is Eddie defending against this JBL guy as well as Booker vs. Undertaker. There isn’t much else on this show as we’re strong into the brand split era, which means a lot of the shows simply don’t have the card strength to hold up with this being a great example. I know I can’t wait for Mordecai vs. Scotty 2 Hotty! Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how we’ll be judged after we die with various clips of people doing bad things, such as JBL yelling at Eddie’s mommy. Oh and Cena is fighting some French guy tonight. Yeah this was a bad time for the midcard. They’re really trying to push this as the third biggest match on the card. Wow indeed.

Kind of surprising that this show is the one they use Staples Center for.

The set has a bunch of crosses on it which is a weird visual to see in WWE.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boys

Bubba in the shorts is always a disturbing sight. I think the Dudleys are heels here but I can’t keep track as they would change week to week. Bubba yells at Taz for no apparent reason. Apparently the Dudleys have been jumping RVD 2-1 recently so they’re definitely the heels. As Bubba insists Rey hold the tag rope, D-Von jumps Van Dam so apparently those two are starting.

Oh this is during the Paul Heyman managing the Dudleys period. He’s not here for some reason so I forgot about that. They make fast tags to hammer away on RVD. Van Dam speeds things up and takes down both guys with relative ease. Rey is apparently cool with letting this be 2-1 to start. D-Von goes to the floor so both faces dive on him to make the Dudleys take a break.

Cole lists off various places that they’re live tonight including Bermuda and the Bahamas. Tazz loses ten points for not saying “Come on pretty mama.” D-Von pulls the top rope down and a running RVD falls to the floor. The Dudleys are a weak 17 time tag champions here. Ah for the days when they were young.

We talk about Rey not being involved at all other than that one dive which is true. And of course as I say “true” Rey is tagged in. He speeds things way up and gets a springboard cross body on Bubba for two. 619 is broken up by D-Von and the delay lets a seated senton get countered into a hot shot to shift the momentum right back. Off to D-Von who gets a leg drop for two.

D-Von gets his jumping back elbow for two and it’s off to Bubba. We get some classic old school cheating as D-Von comes in with no tag while the referee is keeping RVD out. I love little things like that. Rey gets his sitout bulldog to break the momentum and both guys are down. That gets followed up by the always awesome false tag as RVD gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it so Rey sticks around a bit longer.

Spinebuster by Bubba gets two. That was only a single A variety so there was no way it was getting three. Rey is in the Tree of Woe and Bubba slaps his chest a bit. Bubba shouts that Rey is a piñata. Now there’s one of the things I’ve never understood. “Hey kids! Do you love Spongebob? THEN BEAT HIM WITH A STICK UNTIL YOU BREAK HIM IN HALF!!! Then you can steal what’s inside him! Like his heart and his liver!” Never got that.

Rey gets a moonsault press to D-Von for two and we get the real tag to Van Dam. Things speed up again and it’s kicking time in Los Angeles! Rolling Thunder to D-Von gets two. Dang Bubba isn’t getting a lot of covers is he? Rey misses a charge at Bubba and hits the floor. What’s Up is broken up by Rey and it’s a Bronco Buster to the future Bully.

D-Von is sat on the top rope with RVD in front of him. Rey charges at Van Dam who launches him into the air into a rana for two. Cool move that arguably should have been the finish. Cole says this match has been pretty. That fits him for some reason. 3D is broken up and we get a double 619. Five Star from RVD finishes D-Von for three as this is suddenly an episode of Sesame Street.

Rating: B. Solid opener here which got a surprising 15 minutes. Good stuff as both teams were pretty evenly matched. That always makes for a better match as you have both teams that can go out there. Also it’s always cool to see a team vs. two singles guys as it can make for interesting matches. Nothing great here but a fine opener.

Josh goes to interview Booker who has been hearing noises in his locker room. He says he’s the biggest star on Smackdown which is booed loudly. Booker has some voodoo bag of whatever.

Here’s Kurt Angle who comes out of some big box. Well we all came out of our mom’s box so I guess that’s ok. Wait we all came out of there? I’ve heard of orgasmic births but this is ridiculous. Also what is with Kurt rising out of things? I mean you have a thing with a round top rising up…..yeah I’m shutting up now. One more: isn’t that supposed to go down into the box? Ok I’m good now.

Kurt talks about how much he hates LA. He runs down the Lakers and Kobe Bryan who was on trial around this point for rape charges. Kurt yells about Eddie and how he cheated and how he hates being in a wheelchair (I think Big Show broke his leg but he’s in a wheelchair now either way). He wants the fans to riot when JBL wins the title tonight and wishes an earthquake on the city of LA. Bit too far there but you get the idea.

Now it’s time to rant about Torrie Wilson causing her to be in the wheelchair. Kurt, the current GM of Smackdown, orders Torrie to come out right now. Ah apparently Torrie was laughing around Show and Show thought it was at him so he got mad and eventually threw Kurt off a balcony to break his leg. Makes sense in a WWE way. He’s going to end her career, so instead of firing her he says that if she loses her match she’s fired.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They lock up for a good while to start off and it’s pretty clear why the wrestling Divas were on Raw and the eye candy ones were on Smackdown. Torrie does her bare bones offense which looks like she’s thanking her lucky stars that she doesn’t maim someone with every move she does. Top rope cross body misses Dawn and now we get to see Torrie sell which is possibly even worse.

Now don’t get me wrong: Torrie and people of her talent levels aren’t really that bad, but when you have girls like Lita or Trish that you can put in the ring, this is pretty awful by comparison. Heck even Molly could do far better than this and she wasn’t that great. Torrie is sent to the floor

Torrie tries to get back in but takes a baseball slide to send her right back to the floor. I don’t know if it’s the tape or the referee but he looks like he’s counting very fast. Off to a chinlock/sleeper now and here comes the blonde (Torrie if you weren’t sure) with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Bad looking sunset flip gets two for Torrie. Torrie tries a rollup with tights and rips Dawn’s tights exposing a very nice g-string. Backslide ends this for Torrie a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Given the nice back shot I was thinking of an A+ here but considering this was relatively close to when Sable and Torrie were in Playboy together it’s kind of hard to be impressed here. The wrestling was pretty awful here but I’ve seen far worse. No mention of the whole Dawn is Torrie’s stepmother thing but I guess that was sucked into the black hole that collected Edge and Christian’s shared DNA.

JBL talks about how he doesn’t like LA and goes on a huge conservative rant against welfare and Mexicans and saying about how great his America would be. I’ll spare you all a really long political rant here.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Mordecai

Mordecai was this crazy religious character that had some awesome vignettes and a great look to him. However the matches were absolutely terrible and this is no exception. He would be losing to Bob Holly at the next Smackdown PPV. He’s more famous as Kevin Thorn from the early days of WWECW.

The second thing is the same thing that plagued Mesias in TNA: he’s not that big. He’s about the size of Edge which isn’t bad, but imagine if Undertaker was about 6’3. The character wouldn’t work at all and it really holds him back here. Cole points out the incredibly slow pace of Mordecai and the fans chant boring.

The character was already doomed here and it was incredibly obvious. He sends Scotty into the post a few times and chokes a lot. Scotty gets a superkick and his bulldog and that’s the end of his time on offense. A razor’s edge ends this just a few seconds later. Cole calls it the Razor’s Edge which is something that was kind of surprising. Total squash here.

There’s a DVD on the rapper Cena. Wow that’s amazing considering that this is being written the day after he and Rock shook hands to make the match at Mania 28 for next year.

The Guerreros are getting ready (it’s Chavo Senoir and Chavo Junior here) and Jacqueline comes in to offer Junior luck in their match tonight. Oh dear it’s another Jackie wrestles men match tonight. She offers him women’s underwear and Senior is intrigued.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

Paul Bearer says Taker will win.

We recap Jackie (the annoying one, not the hot one with Rico and Haas) winning the Cruiserweight Title from Chavo and then beating up his papa. Jacqueline is the woman that insisted she could fight men and she could. She never said a word about the quality of said matches.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline

Chavo is going to have an arm behind his back here. One armed backbreaker by Chavo to start as this is already boring beyond belief. Jackie gets a head scissors that had to be sent the completely wrong way to send Chavo’s shoulder into the post. Jackie hammers away and grabs a sleeper which gets her nowhere. Some kicks get two for her as this needs to end now. Baseball slide takes out Chavo’s papa and a low blow takes down junior. Senior unties the arm and distracts the referee so that the Gory Bomb can give Chavo the title.

Rating: F+. No one has ever cared about Jackie and no one but Jackie has ever been able to get that. They tried this in WCW and it bombed and it bombed again here. She’s annoying and not any good in the ring but hey she’s a woman so she’s an automatic draw right? And people wonder why wrestling companies have heads shaken at them.

The Guerreros are jerks to her post match.

Wrestlemania will be in LA next year. We know this already.

We recap Rene Dupree vs. Cena. In short, Dupree is French so he’s automatically evil since this is post 2003 when France wouldn’t help in the Iraq War so Vince has decided they’re completely evil. Vince never let anyone not know he was very conservative, I’ll give him that. Cena is the US Champion so he’s fighting for AMERICA of course.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Surprisingly enough Cena comes out first here. It’s amazing to hear Cena almost universally cheered. Cena rhymes a bit before the match starts and makes fun of the Spurs who had lost to the Lakers in the playoffs recently. To be fair to Dupree, he’s 20 here and was a champion at 19 which is a WWE record. Cena hammers him down but a boot in the corner stops him for what must have been a good four seconds.

We hit the floor for a bit where Cena hits the post. Again Cena misses a charge and hits the floor which has become a running theme in this match. He can’t get anything going here and Dupree keeps up the offense. Bear hug goes on by Dupree just to reaffirm that he’s evil. I know they’ve happened but how often does a face not named Sammartino use a bear hug?

This eats up awhile until Cena gets a jawbreaker to escape. Cena cranks it up a bit and a sidewalk slam puts Dupree down. Five Knuckle Shuffle misses as Dupree casually rolls out of the way. That makes me chuckle for some reason. Spinebuster sets up the French Tickler (don’t ask) and after a brief comeback Cena walks into a DDT for still no cover. FU is countered into a neckbreaker for two. A few pinning combinations by Cena get two each but the FU out of nowhere ends this.

Rating: C. This was just ok. I don’t think anyone ever bought Dupree as a threat here which hurts things a bit but not horribly. Cena needed a win like this on PPV as he only won the title a month or so earlier. Not a horrible match but really just one of those where it came and went with not many people buying into the hype of it.

Cena goes into the crowd and gives someone his Lakers jersey.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. And thankfully he went just as fast.

We recap Booker vs. Undertaker. In short, Booker came over from Raw and since he was a star there, he’s a mega star on the B show, even bigger than the champion Eddie or bigger than the Undertaker. Booker hired some voodoo woman to help him or something like that. That’s about it.

Booker T vs. Undertaker

Taker still has short hair here so this takes a bit of getting used to. Cole keeps pushing that this is a rare appearance. This is seven years ago almost and he’s still making rare appearances. Booker gets overpowered to start and hits the floor, rubbing something all over himself. Back in and Booker hammers away which doesn’t really get him anywhere. We hear about the Streak a bit which is only about 12-13 at this point.

Leg drop gets two for the Deadman and a clothesline puts Booker on the floor. Booker fights back and gets a missile dropkick for two. I think they’re going for a big showdown here but it doesn’t seem like it’s working for the most part here. Taker fights back and hammers away as this is dull indeed. Big clothesline from the dead dude gets no cover so it’s Old School time.

Taker gets a downward spiral of all things and tries a chokeout but Booker gets to the ropes. This was the beginning of Taker thinks he’s an MMA guy stage. Last Ride is broken up and there goes the referee. Booker throws the powder in the bag into Taker’s eyes but Taker shrugs it off. Running big boot in the corner misses so Booker works on the knee a bit.

This match is really all over the place as they don’t seem to have any kind of flow to it at all. The leg work is really the first kind of storytelling or psychology going on in the match. They slug it out on the floor a bit and head back in. The knee is fine now it seems. Side kick gets two. Front facelock goes on now and there’s there axe kick for two. Taker’s pants leg rides up a bit and we see his leg. That’s a new one. In an ending as abrupt as it sounds, Taker sits up and the chokeslam/Tombstone ends this. Wow indeed.

Rating: D-. Just a mess here with Taker doing nothing but signature spots. In other words, it’s any Taker match not at Wrestlemania post 2003. Booker was by far doing better out there but this wasn’t going to be anything worth watching no matter what they did. Boring as can be match as Taker being very dull.

We recap JBL vs. Eddie. Bradshaw just debuted with this new gimmick of being all rich and said that he wasn’t going to have fun in the ring anymore but rather be dominant. Angle came up with a thing called the Great American Award which JBL won for catching illegal immigrants coming across the border in Mexico. Gee Vince isn’t going on some big conservative soapbox at all is he? Oh and JBL went after Mama Guerrero also, causing her to have a heart attack.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero

JBL runs down the Mexicans in the crowd pre match. He’s in blue here which is weird looking for some reason. Eddie hammers away to start and we hit the floor almost immediately. JBL tries to run up the ramp but Eddie catches up to him. We’ve been in the ring about 12 seconds out of the two and a half minutes they’ve been fighting for. Back to the ring now and it’s been ALL Eddie.

Out to the floor again and JBL manages to send Eddie into the steps to break the momentum a bit. They tease the announce table a bit but instead we go back into the ring for more brawling. Eddie gets some punches but a big boot takes him right back down. Cole: JBL’s stock will go way up if he wins this match. That was so corny that it was almost not bad.

An overly long headlock goes on as JBL keeps control. After that finally gets broken up Eddie tries to speed things up, only to walk into a fallaway slam on the floor to get us back in JBL control. Backdrop puts Eddie onto the Spanish Announce Table and we go right back into the ring. This is going way too slowly here. Another slugout follows but Eddie walks into something like a hot shot for two.

Off to a bearhug now as this continues to go way too slow. I get that JBL is a slow guy but this is getting a lot of time and that makes for a boring match more often than not. Eddie escapes and tries to speed up a bit, hitting Three Amigos. Clothesline From JBL and a powerbomb both miss and there goes the referee. JBL is sent to the floor and we go to the table again.

JBL caves Eddie’s head in with a chair shot. FREAKING OW MAN! Oh sweet goodness Eddie is bleeding a freaking gusher. Steps to the head as Eddie is reeling. There is blood all over the ring. Clothesline From JBL kills Eddie dead but there’s no referee. Another referee slides into the lake of blood and gets a two count for JBL. The third attempt at the Clothesline drills the second referee. Dude, shouldn’t the referee that has been down for five minutes get some help?

Huge powerbomb by JBL gets only two as the fans are WAY into this now. The blood isn’t flowing off his head not but is only dripping. Sleeper by JBL which is rather smart here but a suplex gets Eddie out of it. Eddie does his dance thing and here he comes again. Crowd is losing it over this. Fallaway slam is countered into a DDT just like the F5 from Lesnar was at No Way Out.

Eddie tries to crawl to the corner for the Frog Splash as it’s amazing that he’s not dead at this point. Ok maybe that was a poor choice of words. The fans almost gasp at the idea of the Frog Splash but it misses anyway. Bradshaw grabs the title which he puts behind his back and a chair. The referee sees the chair but not the belt. Eddie kicks him low and drills him with the belt for the DQ and the fans aren’t happy at all.

Rating: B. This was a good match at times but you can cut off the first 8 minutes or so and no one would notice it at all. The blood is INSANE and if you have a weak stomach you should stay far away from this one. The ending hurts it a lot as they could have done either a fluke pin or simply stopping it for the blood. Either way, the ending hurts this one a lot and considering it wasn’t a classic in the first place, that’s not good.

Eddie massacres him post match and hits him with a big old chair shot to bust him open too. Oh wait he was bleeding off the belt shot. Another chair shot and Bradshaw is more or less dead. Eddie chases him down for some more as JBL is taken away.

Overall Rating: D. If there was a rating between D and D+ it would go here. The show isn’t very good at all but there was a certain energy to it which I think is due to a good ending to a questionable main event. It’s certainly not the worst show ever, but it’s pretty bad. Other than the blood, nothing here is memorable at all. Pretty weak show overall but there’s a weird feeling of good that you get out of it. Not enough to save it, but it’s there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews