Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2013
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re getting close to the Elimination Chamber now with most of the field being filled in. The main story is that Mark Henry returned on Monday and treated Mysterio and Sin Cara like villagers in a badly dubbed Japanese monster movie. Other than that we’ve got the continuing saga of Big Show vs. Del Rio which is continuing despite two straight wins over the giant. Let’s get to it.

We open with the voiceover talking about the Chamber. Apparently Bryan, Orton and Mysterio are locked in already. We also look at the hotel stuff with Del Rio vs. Big Show from Raw on Monday.

Big Show’s bus arrives to start but he’s scared to come out. Show finally gets out and sneaks into the arena.

For the first time in months, we actually get a theme song for Smackdown.

Here’s Big Show to the ring. You know if he’s scared of Del Rio, isn’t it a bad idea to come to a place where everyone can see him? He calls the current situation unacceptable and doesn’t care that the fans are booing him. Show talks about Del Rio acting like a criminal and getting cheered by the fans anyway. Apparently you can do whatever you want when you’re popular. Show talks about signing a contract for a title match so at the PPV, he’s getting the title back Del Rio is suspended tonight, so I’m SURE we won’t see him until Monday.

Show yells about Booker T causing the double standards around here, claiming that Booker is jealous of Show’s money and success and status as an active wrestler. This brings out the GM who talks about how Big Show has gotten everything he wanted but Big Show keeps bullying Ricardo. Big Show demands to know if Booker gave Alberto his hotel information but Booker sidesteps the question. It’s Show vs. Kane tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody says that he and Sandow have split but another door has opened for him. Rhodes grabs the arm to start but Kofi sends him to the floor. Back in and the mustached one hits a middle rope elbow to Kingston’s back. The second attempt doesn’t work as well though and Kofi speeds things up a bit. The Boom Drop hits at an awkward angle but Trouble in Paradise misses. Kofi immediately comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Both finishers are avoiided but Cody hits the Disaster Kick to lay out Kingston. Cross Rhodes finishes this at 3:31.

Rating: C-. As usual, this was hurt by how little time they had. This is what Kofi is good for anymore: making someone look good in defeat. He still has enough credibility to make this work and a loss isn’t going to hurt him at all. It’s good to see Cody making a singles comeback, but not losing on Monday would have helped even more.

We recap the troubles HELL NO has been having lately.

Bryan comes in to see Kane and says he forgives them. Kane doesn’t even have to apologize. Bryan offers to be in Kane’s corner tonight against Big Show so that they can mess with Show’s mind. Also it will help Kane’s image to be seen with someone already in the Elimination Chamber. Kane shushes Bryan with threats of annihilation.

We get a video of Lesnar attacking Vince from last week’s Raw.

We get another video from this past week’s Raw of Heyman denying knowing anything about Lesnar because Vickie brought him back in.

Bruno Sammartino’s HOF video.

Great Khali vs. Titus O’Neal

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

As soon as the bell rings, Mark Henry comes out and sends Titus into the barricade. With him out of the way, Henry goes into the ring and lays out Khali as well with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Post break Henry says the Hall of Pain is now open again. We get a clip of the beatdown of Cara and Rey from Monday which Henry blames on Booker. Henry says Booker put together an elite group of people to be in the Chamber, but there was one mistake: Mark Henry was left out. He wants Booker out here now or else he’ll destroy the entire Smackdown roster. Booker comes out and gives his usual response of “that’s not how we do it on Smackdown.” Henry says if there isn’t room in the Chamber for him, he’ll make room himself. Booker says if Henry can beat Orton tonight, he can be in the Chamber too.

Big Show yells at the guy that takes care of his bus and his steaks for screwing up. Oh and the toilet is clogged up again. Big Show is heading to the ring and Del Rio is lurking behind his bus.

Big Show vs. Kane

We see the Del Rio/Show segment from Raw again during the entrances. Show immediately takes it to the floor and sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside. The guy with his face showing works on the leg as we take a break. Back with Show hitting the Vader Bomb for two but a second one misses. They slug it out and both guys load up chokeslams but it’s Kane hitting the running DDT to take over. There’s the top rope clothesline but Kane tweaks his knee, allowing for the WMD to end Kane at 3:35 shown of 7:05.

Rating: C. They actually took a break for a match that ran seven minutes? Nothing to see here but they probably had the right idea to keep this short given the history of matches these two have had. You would think they would eventually have a decent match just out of memory with each other but it hasn’t happened yet.

Post match Del Rio pops up on screen with the employee Show yelled at. He tells Big Show to come back and see the changes Del Rio has made. Show comes back and sees the bus up on blocks with the tires taken off. Del Rio covers Show in orange paint for good measure.

Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Swagger is apparently the REAL AMERICAN now. Gabriel is sent to the apron to start and Jack takes his head off with a clothesline back inside. There’s a big beal across the ring and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. Justin blocks a charge with two feet in the face and a springboard cross body gets no cover. Jack heads to the floor but manages to break up the Asai moonsault. Back inside and it’s chop block, gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act (ankle lock) for the tap out at 2:37. Just a squash.

Fandango is still coming. Oh joy.

Drew McIntyre vs. Tensai

They’re turning the bald guy face aren’t they. We get a clip from Raw Roulette of Tensai in lingerie breaking into a dance off with Brodus. Drew hits a big boot for two but Tensai comes back with a splash in the corner. There’s the Baldo Bomb but Slater and Mahal run in at 1:09.

Brodus runs out for the save and the band is cleared out. The big men and the Funkadactyls dance a bit. Yep they’re turning him and I can’t say I’m arguing with it. It’s not like he was doing ANYTHING as a heel anymore.

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

The stupid mood lighting is back and this is non-title. Cara speeds things up to start but Cesaro avoids a charge in the corner. The power stuff begins and Cara is in trouble early. JBL questions if Cara is actually a Mexican or not. Josh talks about how if Cara was from Bermuda, he would be the most followed man in the country. Good to know. Anyway Cara comes out of the corner with a running sunset flip for two. The champion heads to the floor and Cara hits a suicide dive to take him out. That’s the extent of his offense though as back inside it’s the European uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:20.

Orton says Henry has to earn his spot in the Chamber by going through him.

Miz says he’s never been against anything like Lesnar but Cesaro comes in to complain about Miz’s whining. Geez this thing is still going? They brawl and Cesaro gets the better of it until referees break it up.

The Raw ReBound is Shield being chased off.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

If Henry wins, he’s in the Chamber. I don’t think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry’s shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.

That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy’s chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it’s easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Just like before, there wasn’t time for this to go anywhere. Henry looked decent as the monster continues to be the perfect character for him. Actually keeping this short was probably the right idea because a guy who hasn’t been in the ring in ten months just crushed Randy Orton. That’s certainly a good way to get him over again in the fans’ eyes.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows where the individual parts don’t tell the whole story of the show. This was about pushing some new guys and reintroducing Henry to the Smackdown roster. The show went by pretty fast and it made for some entertaining TV. That’s a good sign with not a lot of time before the Chamber and then Wrestlemania. Another good although different kind of show tonight.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes

Great Khali b. Titus O’Neal – Chop to the head

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act

Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World’s Strongest Slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon at:

Saturday Night’s Main Event 30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re on FOX now so the show is about as dead as you could ask for. This is the followup to the 92 Rumble where Flair won the world title and Hogan actually teased a heel attitude at the end and got booed almost out of the building for it. This was a good time for the company as you had Flair, Hogan, Savage, Undertaker and Roberts crossing paths to an extent and the results rocked. Let’s get to it.

Intercontinental Title: Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

This is the rematch from the Rumble where Mountie was given the title for two days since Bret was hurt. Piper wouldn’t win another WWF title for about 15 years. He’s staggering around a bit so he might be a bit intoxicated. Piper is wrestling with a t-shirt on. Keep that in mind for a bit later. Apparently the winner gets Bret at Mania.

An interview with Bret says he hopes it’s Piper but is happy either way. Piper changes control when he gets his knees up to block a splash. The referee gets bumped and Mountie pours water on Piper and gives him the shock stick that he was using. Naturally it has no effect and Mountie gets it, complete with ridiculous sound effects. Piper pulls off his shirt to reveal a vest saying Shock Proof in a rather infamous moment for some reason.

Rating: C. It was about the ending and to give Mountie his rematch. It worked fine so I can’t complain. There’s not much here but since the ending was effective I’m all fine and good with it.

We get a replay of the ending of the end of the Rumble with Sid getting robbed by Hogan and Gorilla having no issue with it of course. Heenan’s near orgasm is great. We see the Mania 8 “Press Conference” with Hogan being named the #1 contender for ZERO reason. I mean seriously, he came in third and got dumped fairly. What sense does that make even in kayfabe? Sid turns heel more or less in an interview there.

Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair/Undertaker

The “faces” say that they’re united. Can you see it coming? If not you’re an idiot. Hogan comes out with Brutus Beefcake instead of his partner which makes him look even more heelish. Sid and Flair start us off. We get Hogan vs. Flair and since this isn’t WCW, Flair has a chance. Hogan is of course dominating because he has to by some law.

There have been about 5 tags inside of two minutes. The idea here is Hogan is trying to do everything and Sid is getting annoyed with it. He’s jumped in twice now already. The big guys are in there now. We’ve had all four in there more often than we’ve had just two. Hogan does the four sides ear thing and Sid isn’t happy as we go to commercial. Back with Taker beating up Sid.

Sid manages to fight the heels off and get the….hot I guess tag to Hogan. Flair shows intelligence by going for the knee. You can’t question Flair’s psychology 90% of the time. Figure Four is on and it’s called a submission hold. The name is never used which is odd. Sid won’t make a tag. Taker gets a SWEET leaping clothesline to take down Hogan.

Sid gets booed and of course Vince sucks on Hogan a bit for old time’s sake. They edit out a whole line about the WWF Champion (this was aired on 24/7) and Sid drops to the floor instead of tagging and walks out. There goes the referee for the DQ and Brutus gets in. This was around the time when his face had been messed up. Hogan makes the save.

Rating: B-. It was a main event tag match and was all about the angle. That’s all well and good and it came off fine. The Hogan vs. Sid match would of course happen at Mania in what was potentially Hogan’s last match. That’s just amusing.

Sid says he rules the world, completely turning heel.

After a commercial Hogan questions Sid’s morals and says he’s not a good person. That’s just amusing.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Anyone think this might be a squash? They’re a new team here and it’s an attempt to make Sarge a face again that loved America. The announcers argue over the logic of giving Hogan Flair at Mania and Heenan keeps picking Vince’s arguments apart. This doesn’t even last three minutes and of course the proud Americans win.

Rating: N/A. This was quick and nothing of note. Yep that’s about it.

We recap Savage vs. Roberts from the past few months, which more importantly about Roberts being heel of the millennium by punching Liz. Roberts says he’ll do it again.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage says a lot of things in a big rant that must have been fueled by cocaine if I know anything about wrestling. Naturally this is a big freaking brawl in every sense of the words. They fight all over the ringside area with both guys beating on each other for a few minutes each. Savage takes a DDT but Jake lets him get up. The second doesn’t connect though and Savage goes airborne.

And there’s the big elbow to end it in like 5 minutes. Ok then. Savage beats him up ever more until the suits come down to break it up. Liz runs out for the big celebration. We see Jake waiting behind the curtain as the show ends. Later we would find out that he was going to hit Liz with a chair but Taker turned face and grabbed it away instead.

Rating: C+. This was too fast to really get much out of. It’s ok but nothing special at all. These two never got the big match that they needed and I think it hurt the feud in the end. Not terrible at all but far from great.

Overall Rating: C-. Total storybuilding show here as nothing is really settled in the ring, although that’s true for just about every SNME. There are some well known moments here so it’s worth a look I guess and at 45 minutes factoring out commercials it’s not like it’s going to take forever to watch. Check it out, why not.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up  my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

I’m a bit late to this one but it’s a major story from earlier in the week.  Basically Bret Hart said that HHH has never had a great match and isn’t even in the top 1000 wrestlers of all time.  Now there are a few possible explanations to this.First and foremost, Bret is incorrect.  I greatly respect Bret Hart, but I don’t know if I could come up with 1000 wrestlers if I tried all day.  To say all of them are better than HHH is impossible to believe.  Now of course Bret doesn’t mean that literally, but the idea still makes sense.

The second possibility is that Bret has incredibly high standards.  There is definitely something to this as I’ve heard of Bret watching his own matches and being disgusted by his lack of psychology because the three moves he used should have set up an armbar and he used a wristlock instead.  That’s stuff probably 95% of pro wrestlers aren’t going to pick up on but to Bret it’s terrible.

Now for the theory that makes the most sense: HHH knew about Montreal in advance and allegedly was the guy who said go ahead and do it.  Since Shawn and Bret have made amends and Bret has talked about how great Shawn is, who else is he supposed to go after with his latest Montreal rage?

It’s not like Bret is in need of publicity as he could probably be on Raw or Smackdown a few times a month with one phone call.  My money would be on Montreal, but maybe Bret just isn’t a fan of HHH.  I may have watched a lot of wrestling, but I certainly don’t know a fraction of what Bret knows.  It was a very odd statement though.

The rumor had been that he wasn’t going to be sticking around but apparently TNA got him to sign for a few more years.  That’s certainly the right move for TNA as he’s easily the biggest full time guy they’ve got.  No complaints here on this one.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 1997
Location: Civic Center, Portland, Maine
Attendance: 6,510
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly, Michael Cole

This is another request for reasons that I don’t remember. It’s the night after DX In Your House which means that Austin retained the IC Title and Shawn kept the WWF Title from Shamrock. It also means that Owen Hart ran in to attack Shawn after the match was over, revealing that he was still around after the Montreal Screwjob. I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package from last night of Austin vs. Rock. No mention of the world title match yet.

Here’s Vince to open things up. He talks about how Austin has been getting away with murder lately and that can’t keep going. Austin has been hitting WWF officials like announcers and referees which he did again last night. The big Austin chant is already beginning. Before there could be a DQ though, another referee came in and counted the pin on Austin to retain the title. Vince makes Austin vs. Rock tonight and cue the Rattlesnake.

Austin gets right in Vince’s face and says that he doesn’t care about the officials that are surrounding the ring. He doesn’t feel like defending the title but if he doesn’t, there will be consequences. Vince gets in Austin’s face and Austin is all like bring it on boy. Austin talks about defending the title already last night and doesn’t think he needs to do it again tonight. Someone is getting a beating tonight and Austin isn’t sure who it’s going to be yet.

Time to plug a sponsor! It’s Karate Fighters in this case which is kind of a Rock Em Sock Em Robots knockoff. Lawler beats Sunny to win a tournament but gets caught cheating, giving the chick the title.

We recap the not interesting stuff last night with the Outlaws, the Godwinns and the LOD.

Legion of Doom vs. Godwinns

The tag champion Outlaws (not yet named) are here with the Godwinns for no apparent reason. It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Animal vs. Henry. They slug it out so here’s Hawk for some elbows. Animal comes back in with another elbow of his own before it’s off to Hawk vs. Phineas for some slow punching. Hawk hits his one wrestling move, the neckbreaker, only to miss his flying clothesline….and there go the lights. Cue Kane as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. Too short to rate but it was nothing to see at all.

Animal and the Godwinns brawl away as Kane is left alone with Hawk. A regular piledriver (huh?) is no sold by Hawk so there’s a chokeslam and tombstone to put him down. Kane leaves so the Outlaws come out for an attempted beatdown, only for Animal to make the save with a chair.

Post break the Outlaws sing a goodbye song to the “OLD”. Road Dogg issues an open challenge for anyone to face Billy, so here’s what we get.

Billy Gunn vs. Dude Love

The brawl starts on the floor and Roadie jumps in on commentary. Dude gets knocked into the announce table and Dogg gets to crack some jokes. Love comes back with right hands in the ring and a backslide for two, only to get taken down by a clothesline from Billy. Gunn misses a splash in the corner and Dude pounds away before sending Billy face first into the buckle a few times. Sweet Shin Music misses but a second attempt works a bit better, followed by the double arm DDT for the pin on Billy.

Rating: C-. For a four minute TV match between a comedy jobber and Mick Foley in his comedic persona, this was pretty decent stuff. The Outlaws would move on to feuding with Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) before joining DX. In other words, we have a match that actually accomplishes something in the WWF.

Post match Billy hits a guillotine legdrop onto Dude’s face with a belt in between.

JR teaches Taka Michinoku, who won the first Light Heavyweight Title last night, some English.

Here’s Jim Cornette with Taka, but Lawler interrupts Cornette before the first challenger can be announced. Lawler says that Taka stole the title from Brian Christopher and we get some anti-Japanese jokes. The first challenger is El Unico, which is clearly Brian Christopher under a mask. Lawler and Unico stomp down Taka and there goes the mask to shock no one.

We get a history of Shawn destroying the Hart Family over the last few months.

Kurrgan vs. Flash Funk

Jackyl is on commentary here and he talks about how tonight is the start of a revolution. This is the same kind of monster dominance that you would expect. Kurrgan pounds Funk down, Funk gets in a few shots, the Claw ends Funk quickly.

Post match Kurrgan won’t let go of the hold and the referee reverses the decision. The other members of the Truth Commission can’t get Kurrgan off Flash either.

Some stills explain the world title match last night.

Shamrock was mad last night.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s DX to open the second half of the show. Remember at this point it’s just Shawn, HHH and Chyna. HHH talks about how last night Sgt. Slaughter thought he could chop down a guy like HHH but that just wasn’t going to happen. There’s a card table set up in the ring. Shawn talks about schooling Shamrock last night before shifting over to the Hart Family, who he refers to bodily waste. As many times as you try to flush it, a tiny piece keeps coming back up. Owen Hart is that small piece and Shawn is tired of having him around.

Shawn wants Owen to come out here, so DX is going to sit down and play a little game of strip poker until Owen Hart comes out here. He guarantees full nudity tonight no matter how long the game takes. They sit down for the game as DOA is riding to the ring for their match. This should be interesting, but it’s DOA so that isn’t likely.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas

The poker game has moved to the floor after a break. This is Skull/8-Ball vs. Perez/Estrada here I believe. Shawn has lost his shirt already. The Puerto Ricans are destroyed for awhile until they start double teaming to take I think Skull down. Skull takes Perez down but there’s no referee to count. The card game is still going on at ringside while the match is going on. Estrada beats on Skull as Shawn loses his shoes and socks. Skull hits a swinging neckbreaker to put Estrada down and it’s a double tag. Everything breaks down and Savio hits Skull in the back with a board for the pin.

Rating: F. This was so boring and I have no idea why these teams fought so many times. They feuded for the better part of a year and the bikers almost never won a single thing. The match wasn’t any good and the wrestlers in it were nothing interesting either. That sums up a good bit of 1997 on Raw actually.

The poker game has moved back to the ring and Chyna still hasn’t lost anything. There go Shawn’s pants and here come the Headbangers. DX destroys them on principle and Shawn brags a lot, but here’s Owen for the run in and run away.

Buy the PPV replay!

Jeff Jarrett vs. Vader

This is Jeff Jarrett to debut in the ring tonight after jumping back from WCW. Before the match starts though, here’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust to flash Vader. The chase is on and we have no match. Scratch that as Jeff wins by countout. Ok then.

Salvatore Sincere vs. Marc Mero

Mero almost got knocked out in a toughman contest fight last night by Butterbean but wound up hitting him with a stool for a DQ. Before the match, Mero calls Sincere a jobber with a stupid gimmick (JR: “Yeah and you’re a Badd Badd Man) and brings out his property, Sable. She’s in a potato sack but takes it off to reveal a barely there swimsuit. Sincere dropkicks him to the floor and I guess it’s another countout.

Here’s the Nation for the IC Title match tonight. Austin comes out in jeans because he still hasn’t said he’ll defend the title. Vince yells at him and threatens to strip Austin of the belt, but Austin says that’s cool because he wants the world title. He isn’t being stripped, but rather forfeiting the belt. Rock is officially the champion but there’s a Stunner for him to end the show. Austin tells Vince he’s coming for the title and there’s nothing Vince can do about it.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t about wrestling but DANG was it fun. Austin is clearly way too big for the Intercontinental Title at this point and he’s more than ready to fight for the world title. Perhaps he could get there by say….winning the Royal Rumble? That’s coming up in a few weeks so why not? Oddly enough no Undertaker tonight but I think he’s gone due to Kane. Fun but not good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw reviews at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8’s, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we’re on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we’ve got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8’s.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can’t say I’m any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8’s beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I’m stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn’t worried about the tables match because Aces and 8’s have an ace up their sleeve.

Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it’s Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam

Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion….mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.

Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.

Rating: C. The match was ok but what difference does this make at all? There’s almost no story to it and the division is lucky to get a segment every two weeks. You pretty much saw the entire division out there in one match here, and that’s a really bad sign. Bring some fresh blood into this thing or drop it already, because this is nothing worth seeing at all.

We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5’3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.

We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It’s still not impressive.

Bruce Prichard talks to D’Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I’m still thinking this isn’t going to live up to whatever it’s supposed to be.

Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I’m going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.

Rating: D. Seriously, is there NO ONE ELSE that Storm can feud with? The guy is over like free beer in a frat house and he’s stuck beating up Jesse Godderz. I know the match with Roode at BFG wasn’t that big but it’s a bigger deal than what Storm is getting now. Nothing match here as Godderz continues to be decent, but Storm is WAY out of his league.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there’s the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.

A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there’s a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it’s back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here’s Guerrero ago.

Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8’s. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.

We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.

Rating: B. I don’t like the challengers but this was a very solid tag match. If nothing else these two will actually be interesting instead of just sitting around doing nothing at all. This had a long heel in peril segment which you hardly ever see anymore. Good match here and nice to see a LONG TV match that means something.

Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn’t and he’ll prove it against Aces and 8’s.

Video on AJ’s career falling apart.

Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work so it’s off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D+. I don’t like them, this match has been done to death, the girls still look good, and the division is still dying before our very eyes. What is the point of these random matches? To set up Tessmacher vs. Tara for the title again? You know, such a FRESH match as that, which we NEVER see anymore?

Here’s Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob’s come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.

Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.

We recap the bikers taking out Hardy’s knee.

Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc

Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8’s about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.

Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it’s an Aces and 8’s match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.

Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it’s a superplex…not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.

Rating: C-. It’s a tag team tables match so what am I supposed to say here? These matches are almost always the same and it was clear that the bikers weren’t going to win because that’s just not what they do. This is clearly setting up Lockdown where hopefully this team is done for good.

The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C+. This was decent but at the end of the day, Aces and 8’s bring nothing to the table (pun intended) whatsoever. They’re just not interesting and there’s nothing at all to them to make us believe they’re intimidating. They lose over and over again and they lose in the main event here. Other than that though the show was pretty solid stuff, even though it didn’t set up anything for Lockdown.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker

Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B9K3POI

NXT
Date: February 6, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

We’re on I think the semi-finals of the tag title tournament this week as well as Conor vs. Langston if I remember correctly. Other than that there isn’t much going on here, as most of the show is based around the tag titles at this point. The show has been pretty awesome lately though so I can’t say I’m complaining. Let’s get to it.

I was right about the semi-finals being tonight. Both matches go down on this show.

Welcome Home.

NXT Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger vs. Olivery Grey/Adrian Neville

The winner of this gets the winner of the Wyatt Family vs. McGillicutty/Dallas. Grey vs. Kassius get things going and nothing happens there so here’s Kruger instead. Grey takes him down to the mat via a headlock as we’re in a very slow stage still. Kruger fights up and is immediately taken down again via the headlock. The British guys hit a double elbow on Kruger for two and Neville hooks a chinlock.

Off to Kassius and Adrian fires off some kicks to the legs to slow him down immediately. Back to Grey for some arm work and Adrian does the same. Grey hooks an armbar and Ohno is in trouble again. Kruger gets the tag and pounds away on Oliver as we take a break. Back with Ohno holding Grey in a chinlock and a backbreaker from Kruger for two. We go old school with an abdominal stretch from both heels and then a second from both guys.

Ohno stays in and works over the ribs with a backsplash for two. There’s a reverse chinlock by Kassius but Oliver fights out of it and decks both heels with forearms. Kruger breaks up the tag attempt though and pounds Grey down for two. Off to a cravate which continues to be very popular in WWE anymore. Grey comes back with a few rollups for two and there’s the hot tag to Adrian.

Things speed up and Neville starts flipping around a lot. Kassius kicks Adrian’s head off to send him to the outside but stops to yell at Regal. Adrian hits a flip dive to the floor to take Ohno’s head off and it’s the corkscrew shooting star press to send the British guys to the finals at 14:02 shown of 17:32.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff for most part with the tag team formula being played quite well. At this point you can figure out the ending to the other final pretty easily but that’s par for the course for a tournament. Ohno continues to not be anything of note and unfortunately Kruger didn’t get to do anything here either, which is a shame.

Summer Rae complains about being pretty and never getting praised while Paige is ugly and is treated huge. Apparently Summer School is always in session.

Conor O’Brien vs. Mike Dalton

Dalton fires off kicks to start but Conor easily powers him down. A one man flapjack puts Dalton down and a legdrop ends this in 1:06.

O’Brien demands a five count which brings out Langston for a Big Ending on Dalton.

Paige says she’ll take care of Summer herself despite Dusty’s wishes otherwise. Sasha Banks comes in and talks about her secret admirer.

Video on the NXT Tournament for a spot in the Rumble. Here are the brackets (I think):

Corey Graves

Adrian Neville

Leo Kruger

Xavier Woods

Bo Dallas

Luke Harper

Oliver Grey

Conor O’Brien

The semis were Kruger over Neville and Dallas over O’Brien with Dallas beating Kruger to win the tournament and the spot in the Rumble.

Bray Wyatt comes in to see Bo Dallas and says his fifteen minutes of fame are up. Dallas says time might be up on the Wyatt Family. It’s so hard to believe that these two are brothers.

NXT Tag Team Title Tourmanet Semi-Finals: Michael McGillicutty/Bo Dallas vs. Wyatt Family

It’s Rowan/Harper here again. Harper and McGillicutty start things off and Michael fighting off the big man as well as possible. Dallas comes in and gets taken down by pure Wyatt power. We take a break and come back with the monsters continuing to work over Dallas in the corner. Dallas manages to slip away to Michaels for the hot tag and things speed up again. He throws Rowan around with suplexes but Bray Wyatt distracts him. That earns the leader an ejection but the referee misses McGillicutty rolling up Rowan. Harper kicks him in the face for the pin and the spot in the finals at 4:08 shown of 7:38.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere. McGillicutty needs to get away from tag teams along with getting away from that stupid name. He has the look, he has the timing and he has the skill, but he’s stuck in a stupid tag team that isn’t even winning the minor league title. Nothing to see here and the winners were obvious after the earlier match.

Bray offers Dallas a spot in the Family but when Bo declines, Bray beats him down. He says this is only the beginning to end the show. The look on Wyatt’s face was great.

Overall Rating: B. This was a theme show in a way but it was a very fun one. You had the tournament set up as well as the other title match set up, which makes this more like a go home show for the NXT equivalent of a PPV. That’s a rather cool thing to see as NXT is a completely independent promotion right now that works on its own schedule. Good stuff here, as usual.

Results

Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey b. Kassius Ohno/Leo Kruger – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Ohno

Conor O’Brien b. Mike Dalton – Legdrop

Wyatt Family b. Bo Dallas/Michael McGillicutty – Big boot to McGillicutty

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook of 1998 Raw Reviews on Amazon (search 1998 Monday Night Raw)

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Yes, we’re actually in Japan for this. I was going to do Great American Bash 2000 but that turns out to be kind of hard to find so while I’m downloading it you get this requested show. I barely remember 2005 WWE to be honest but we’re approaching Mania 21 which wasn’t too bad. Cena and Batista would be on the rise at this point so there’s Big Dave to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Union Underground brings us into this. I love that song.

Obviously this isn’t live but it was taped on Friday before the show.

This is listed from Tokyo so I’ll assume it’s a suburb or something.

Here’s Bischoff who is GM at the moment. He has a translator and the fans aren’t thrilled with him in the slightest. The translation is booed far louder than the English. Yes, the English that they didn’t understand at all is booed out of the building. HBK vs. Flair tonight so that’ll be good. Also Edge vs. HHH for the world title. But for an opener, here’s Jericho vs. Benoit in a submission match.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Yeah this works. No idea if there’s a story here but does it really matter? Apparently they had a tag title shot last week but lost and argued post match. They lock up and go to the floor with it as this is very intense right off the bat. They keep ramming heads together for a hard staredown and lock up again. Benoit works on the arm but Jericho grabs a Walls attempt which fails. Sharpshooter attempt has the same result and it’s a standoff.

Springboard dropkick by Jericho isn’t launched and they fight on the bottom rope but both crash to the floor as we take a break. Back with Benoit running over Jericho and adding a snap suplex. Jericho is bleeding from below the eye. Rolling Germans by the Canadian in Japan to the American (Jericho was born in New York remember) but Jericho busts out the Octopus of all things.

More Rolling Germans are countered into a half crab as Benoit is in trouble. Benoit gets the rope and tries the suplexes again but Jericho fights him off. Benoit is like oh son you done made me mad and BLASTS him in the back a few times and hits the Germans to set up the swan dive to the back. He dives in for a Crossface but Jericho escapes and takes him down with a clothesline. Lionsault misses but Jericho intentionally misses and grabs the Walls.

Benoit gets a shot in to block that but it’s a slingshot into the corner. Benoit fights out of that and there’s the Crossface but it’s more of a chinlock than the regular grip. Still not enough to end it though as the other Chris manages to get to the rope so we’re not done yet. Walls don’t work because of the arm and Benoit kicking him in the face and there’s the Crossface again, still with the chinlock but a lot more torque, this time enough for the tap.

Rating: B. Oh come on it’s Benoit vs. Jericho on a stage where they intentionally want to look awesome. What were you expecting them to do? Sleepwalk through it? Naturally very good match between these two as they wrestled each other so much that they could have a great match in their sleep, which always makes their great ones more impressive. Great opener to keep the crowd how.

The Divas are having a fashion show later.

Clips of the plane ride which must have taken forever.

Flair and HHH are getting ready and Flair says he’s awesome. Batista gets….Maven later. Oh joy. The first Raw from this year I’ve watched in a long time and I get Big Dave vs. Maven. HHH is worried about what Batista is going to do as far as Mania goes. Flair talks some sense into him as HHH is going to talk him into going to Smackdown so Evolution will have both titles.

Christian is giving an interview as to how he got the name Captain Charisma when they run into Stacy. The interviewer wants to talk to Orton and Christian isn’t that happy with it. Christian makes fun of him which is amusing since they’re feuding now. Christian is rather amusing here. He challenges Orton for later and Tomko is skeptical. Tomko shouldn’t worry though because the match is with Tomko, not Christian.

Ad for Wrestlemania, in this case HHH as Braveheart. I loved this campaign. Flair WOOing at a donkey is funny.

Maven vs. Batista

Maven is a cocky heel at this point and doesn’t get an entrance. What do you think is going to happen here? He’s mad he wasn’t in the Rumble and calls conspiracy. Cue Big Dave and this is exactly what you would expect. The run time is 32 seconds if you’re curious. These fans are losing their minds over a total squash. He really needs I Walk Alone which he would get soon after winning the title.

Big Show pops up on the screen and says he’s not worried about facing Batista at Mania. No real point to this as apparently it’s a running theme.

Batista yells at Bischoff in the back about it. He’s getting tired of Smackdown talking about him so Bischoff gives him a sales pitch about staying on Raw. The fans pop at the mention of Batista vs. HHH.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Regal and Tajiri go into the crowd to celebrate.

We go over the HOF class for 2005 which was the second year that this was revived. Going in this year are Orndorff, Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Bob Orton Jr. and Jimmy Hart. They say others will be named, which would include Piper and Hogan.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Can’t say they’re not giving them a big card tonight. Pretty much just a showcase match. Shawn’s pop is bigger. Flair elbows Shawn on a break in the corner to take over. They hit the floor and Shawn chops away. Backdrop has Flair moaning in agony. Back in and Flair begs off which gets a big reaction for some reason. They slug it out some more and it’s Flair Flop time. Shawn actually gets two off that and it’s time to work on the knee. Basic leg work follows and Flair loads up the Figure Four.

Shawn fights it for a bit and then reverses as this is about as basic of a match between these two as you could ask for. It’s fine and all but they’re going through the motions here. Rollup gets two for Shawn and the knee gives out again. Small package gets two as does a backslide. There’s an enziguri by Shawn and you know what’s next. Nip up but Flair tries to go up. Even the Japanese fans know that joke. Backdrop sets up the elbow which sets up Sweet Chin Music (with questionable selling by Shawn) for the clean pin. You can tell they weren’t going with much if it’s a clean pin like that.

Rating: C. It’s Flair vs. Michaels so it’s going to be solid at least. Very weak match from these two but the point was to allow the fans to see a pair of legends go out there and do their thing for an historic match. That’s what they did here and there’s really no reason to complain about it. Not exactly Mania 24, but still fine for what it was.

Time for an All-American Diva Fashion Show. Lawler of course hosts and I’m a bit surprised by this getting a big pop. Up first is Maria who is dressed as a western chick apparently. Victoria is a biker, meaning more or less a bikini and a leather jacket. Christy represents the beaches and is just in a bikini. Not complaining but is there a point to this?

Ah here it is as Simon Dean comes out to protest. He wants to use the time to pitch his Simon System of products to an international audience. An American sumo wrestler protests the jokes and then sits down. Simon says the girls are all fat and I think we can see where this is going rather quickly. Jerry defends the Divas and Simon busts out the Burger King line. The girls beat him up anyway and Lawler gets a group hug.

Evolution has a meeting where HHH tries to convince Dave to go to Smackdown. Dave says he’ll think about it and Flair/HHH aren’t thrilled with that idea but go along with it anyway. They have to focus Edge tonight though so they go to get ready for it.

Edge says he’s ready but is tired of being overlooked because of Evolution all the time. He’s a heel here but not a very good one yet.

Another video about the fans loving WWE. I’ll give them this: Japanese fans are passionate about their wrestling at a level American fans have never hoped of approaching.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton is still a face at this point but his heel turn to fight Undertake at Mania was coming incredibly soon. Orton doesn’t look like he had ringside seats to a nuclear explosion here and you can actually see his arms. Basic stuff to start until Christian drags Stacy, Orton’s current kind-of-girlfriend, down the aisle. Orton is also suffering from a concussion from the Rumble which was 8 days ago.

The distraction from Stacy being dragged out there allows Tomko to start hammering away. He pounds on Orton’s head as they’re playing up the head injury here. It’s not a bad one where he’s going insane or anything, but if it did that would explain a lot about his character from a few years ago. Orton fights back with the backbreaker but he’s stumbling a bit. He wants the RKO but gets dizzy when trying it. He settles for a rollup instead, which is a good ending since he got his concussion trying the RKO on HHH.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. They had to protect Orton’s head for the storyline so the ending was a good way of going about doing that. This was really just to advance Christian vs. Orton and again that’s just fine. Not a bad match or anything but pretty unremarkable.

Christian gives Orton the Unprettier (Killswitch) post match.

Orton was taken out during the break.

We recap the rest of the show so far, namely the title change.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

Edge tried to spear Shawn last week but speared the Game instead so there’s actually a point to this. They trade some technical stuff to start and it’s a standoff. We actually get a pinfall reversal sequence into a backslide which gets a LOUD gasp. HHH is showing off athleticism here which is rather shocking but if he can do it rock on dude. Edge’s shoulder goes into the post and then does it again.

Make it three times as who says HHH isn’t repetitive? We take a break and come back with Edge hitting a backbreaker for two. During the break HHH got sent up and over the corner and hurt his back so Edge hit a suplex on top of that. Facebuster stops Edge’s mini-comeback for two. Edge manages to get a missile dropkick for two. He gets a bit going but walks into a spinebuster.

Pedigree doesn’t work as the fans are definitely staying with this. Edge sets for the spear but remember he has a bad shoulder. Not that it matters as HHH gets a knee in for a close two also. Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) goes on and HHH is in trouble. Rather back and forth match here. There’s a rope though as Flair plays cheerleader. Edge tries the hold again but HHH kicks him off.

Out of nowhere Edge misses the spear, taking out the referee. Neckbreaker puts HHH down but there’s no referee. Cue Flair with a chair but he gets speared also. Edge misses a chair shot to HHH and a suplex takes both guys down. They both crawl for the chair but Batista comes down and pulls it out of the ring, which HHH isn’t pleased with. HHH knocks Edge into Batista with unclear motives and a Pedigree is countered into the Edgecution. Edge wants the spear again but Batista kills him with a spinebuster. Pedigree finally ends this.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good actually as they had time and it advanced the story with Batista and HHH. I don’t think anyone thought the title was changing but at times having a guy like Edge go out there and have a long title match with the champion is a good thing. It spawned a PPV series called In Your House so it’s not that much of a stretch. Pretty good main event.

Batista and HHH celebrate but Batista looks at the title and HHH sees him so a staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a very good show overall with a white hot crowd all night. Very interesting that for their own product they’re silent most of the time yet here they were barely quiet all night. Anyway this was an awesome show as they had a spectacle in Flair vs. Shawn, a good main event and a title change, plus Benoit vs. Jericho. I had a good time with this show and it goes to show you what they can do when they let good wrestlers have time. Shame that didn’t happen often in 2005.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fanvsfannetwork/2013/02/07/mouth-of-the-south-shore-radio-show

The whole show runs about an hour and a half.  I show up roughly half an hour in and there’s about an hour chat between myself and the host, mainly about 1998 Raw.  There’s an echo when I talk but it comes and goes.  Check it out.

King of the Ring 1994
Date: June 19, 1994
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage, Art Donovan

This is a very interesting time in the company’s history. The main thing is that Vince McMahon is either on the stand against the federal government or is about to or has just gotten off the stand. What that means is that the writers more or less booked this show on their own and Vince had next to zero input on it. That’s simply not something that happens ever. This show kind of was thrown together because everyone wanted to keep their boss out of jail.

There just happened to be a PPV to book at the same time. Also, the winner here, almost like last year, is about as obvious as possible, but since that didn’t stop us last year why should it stop us this year? For absolutely no apparent reason, the final match tonight is Piper vs. Lawler, despite there being IC Champion vs. World Champion with Bret vs. Diesel for the belt, but that’s a more or less forgotten match with zero build so let’s get to the show and see why it happened.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Art Donovan is a Hall of Fame football player that would have been about 70 at this point. In a reference that maybe 4 of you will get, if you ever watched the Adventured of Pete and Pete, he’s the old football player that was the focus of an episode about aliens. He is pushing 70 here and there is absolutely zero point to him being out there. He’s terrible in ways I’ll get to later on.

After the generic intro, we’re ready to go. How hard is it to put a little thought into one of those? It’s not exactly rocket science, but come on now people. This is getting old indeed.

Before we start, here are the brackets for this year.

Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow

I.R.S.
Mabel

Owen Hart
Tatanka

1-2-3 Kid
Jeff Jarrett

Not the best field in the world to say the least.

First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Razor Ramon

Razor beat Kwang (Savio Vega) and Bigelow beat Thurman Plugg (Bob Holly. Don’t ask). Luna is actually curvy here. That’s just odd. Gorilla calls Razor the Macho Man which just makes my head hurt. Gorilla and Macho just don’t seem like the best combination for some reason. First round has a 15 minute time limit, 2nd 30 and finals are an hour. Luna distracting Razor with her very shapely figure lets Bigelow have the advantage.

Nothing wrong with having your woman give you an advantage. To you feminists that don’t like that term, she was introduced as his main squeeze. Savage offers to let Donovan hold his hand. Well ok then. Razor gets the reverse crotch on the post which is something new at the time. Donovan is just too old here, plain and simple. Savage asks if Luna will like Bam Bam still.

Gorilla asks what does that mean. Savage is just funny in his response of he’ll explain later. I will never get tired of seeing Bigelow throw that enziguri. It missed but whatever, it still looked awesome. If Luna wasn’t so freaky looking she’d be hot. We get a reference to Cal Ripken going after Gehrig’s record to date the show. They mention the KOTR being a launching pad like it was for Bret, who went on to be the world champion.

So, the fact that he was a former champion and automatically qualified because he was a former world champion had nothing to do with his future success? It was all the tournament? Is that what I’m being told? Bigelow hooks a torture rack of all things. I wonder what Luger was thinking at this point as his finisher is used by someone that likely never used it again. Not only that but he’s just standing there.

Luger bounced them up and down which if nothing else made it look a lot more painful as the person’s body was bent around Luger’s neck. Bigelow is just holding him up there and it looks really stupid. Donovan is more coherent now but he just sounds confused. “I thought he was dead! What happens now?” See what I mean? He just sounds like a confused old man, which isn’t honoring him or anything like that.

It’s just making him look stupid. Razor is WAY over. He hits a relatively easy slam which is impressive. Savage says that if Razor can hit the Edge on Bigelow that Savage will give him the Trophy of Life. That sounds like a reject from a Disney movie. Anyway, Razor counters a moonsault into more or less a rollup from the top for the pin.

Rating: C+. Run of the mill stuff here. Bigelow played a basic big strong power guy that tried to do something big and got caught. It’s a very simple formula and it worked pretty well. Razor winning was a given but they at least came up with an ending other than the Edge so points for that and Luna’s shape.

IRS and Mabel cut really bad promos about their match. IRS bumbled over his line or forgot what he was going to say or just isn’t that good as he just sounded idiotic here. Somehow, he’s better than Mabel though.

First Round: IRS vs. Mabel

Donovan wonders if IRS is one of the wrestlers. This is depressing. If nothing else, Rotunda had this gimmick down to the absolute T. Is Oscar like the grandfather of R-Truth or something? Oh blast it my video skips back a bit and I have to watch the intro twice. Gorilla shouts HO which just isn’t right at all as my childhood innocence (yes I still have some) is scarred forever.

Donovan asks for Mabel’s name. 14 seconds later he gets an answer. Oh, Mabel beat Pierre and IRS beat Scott Steiner. Wow that’s just odd indeed. Donovan says this match isn’t fair. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? He actually gets a somewhat decent line in by saying he thought the guy in the white suit (Oscar) was there to take IRS to the hospital. Eh ok I guess that’s not bad.

He follows that up with this gem: “And you guys enjoy doing this?” He’s referring to being in the ring, but that’s never specified and it sounds like he’s saying he’s miserable doing the announcing. Again, there’s no mention of Savage having tournament experience for no apparent reason. He won the biggest tournament of all time so wouldn’t it make sense to point that out for younger viewers who aren’t sure who Savage is?

IRS goes for a slam and Mabel counters it with a small package. Yes, that’s what happened and I’m not on any medication or foreign substances other than some grape juice. Mabel starts to dominate, but he goes to the middle rope and misses an elbow. IRS grabs his leg without actually hooking it and while Mabel rolls around on the mat with his arms going up into the air, he gets the three anyway. This was just out there.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. For one thing, IRS’ finisher is a clothesline. Mabel somehow wasn’t at his worst here as he could still move a bit, but the styles just completely contrasted here and it bombed badly. The ending sucked too as it just didn’t look right at all. It needed to be about a minute long but it was five and a half times that long so there we are.

First Round: Tatanka vs. Owen Hart

They beat Crush and Doink respectively. DANG Tatanka got a POP. Owen is the Rocket still here as Donovan wants to know what they weigh for some reason. Tatanka dominates to start using his incredibly generic offensive set. The crowd is hot if nothing else which is the only thing keeping me awake in this incredibly boring show. DAng it now three things are happening at once.

Tatanka is thrown into the post and Donovan is worried about the post of course. At the same time, we go to a split screen of IRS and Razor fighting in the back. At least they didn’t go to a solo shot of that. I would be able to give you a better description of that altercation if I wasn’t laughing at what Savage said: “I don’t know what it is but the wrestlers are stronger and faster lately.”

Remember: Vince McMahon, the owner of the company, the guy that gave Savage the chance to get over on a national level and the undisputed king of professional wrestling is on the stand against the federal government for STEROID charges. The irony of that line just made me crack up as it was so great.

We hit the sleeper and it occurs to me that despite the hold being considered one of the best moves ever to put someone out, only like 3 people that I can think of off the top of my head have ever won with it. That’s not a great track record. After not saying anything for a few minutes, Gorilla shouts out that WE ARE LIVE! Here’s Tatanka’s comeback and for some reason the crowd is still into this.

In something that amazes me, Tatanka actually uses a different move with a DDT, which wasn’t that great but I’ve seen worse. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the beginning of the New Generation which lasted all of a year or two with them constantly reminding us that this is the NEW generation despite it being the same guys we had seen for years now.

Anyway, Owen wins with a reversed sunset flip as all of a sudden Tatanka, after not being able to be beaten for two and a half years now can be beaten with a simple counter. I love the power of pushes.

Rating: D+. This was just average. It felt like a match you would see on Superstars or in the middle of Raw or at a house show. There was nothing at all special about it whatsoever and I just flat out didn’t care. It wasn’t interesting at all and it just needed to end. It wasn’t bad, but I just couldn’t have cared less.

Shawn and Diesel think Bret isn’t so great.

First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Jarrett is the country singer here, having not been in the company only a few months here. He beat Luger of all people here. Donovan thinks he’s an Islander of all things. Are you starting to see what I’m working with here? Kid beat Adam Bomb to get here. The announcers are ignoring Donovan which is easily the smart thing to do. He doesn’t even know who the faces and heels are.

Jarrett is wearing an orange jumpsuit kind of thing that he would wear and black boots. It just doesn’t look right. Jarrett goes WAY old school and busts out the Slingshot Suplex. Naturally Kid is being destroyed here which is what always happens for the majority of his matches. Gorilla says that Jarrett has a powerhouse upper body. Randy Savage is somehow the most sensible man on commentary tonight..

He tries in vain to teach Donovan some very basic stuff. He responds by saying Jarrett is cute. What was the point of this again? Kid steals a win with a small package, which gets him three piledrivers for no apparent reason. What does the term beside yourself mean anyway? How can you be beside yourself? Wouldn’t that mean you were cloned or something like that? Kid is DEAD. He looks bad enough to be a member of the Clique. You know all of a sudden things make a lot more sense.

Rating: C-. This was kind of all over the place. Jarrett was nothing at this point and the Kid was an underdog that no one believed in, making the dynamics of this match just odd. The styles here just didn’t mesh at all and it came off as odd with an abrupt finish. It wasn’t particularly bad, but it just felt weird if that makes sense.

Bret wants Diesel and isn’t afraid of the Jackknife. He says there’s a family member to balance out Shawn but won’t say who.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Story: Diesel is IC Champion, big, strong, and therefore should get a title shot. That’s all there is to it so here we go. Donovan says it would be scary to line up with on a football line against Diesel. Earlier tonight I was watching The Longest Yard where Nash was a football player in an ironic bit. Anyway the family member is Neidhart which is a nice little surprise.

Why is Anvil so fondly remembered? He wasn’t particularly a great wrestler. To be fair he wasn’t anything bad at all, but he was a rather generic power guy. I guess it’s because he did what he did very well. He never really was bad at all and put on some very good tag matches. Diesel is IC Champion here. They mention that Anvil played for the Raiders and Donovan comes to life all of a sudden. The guy loves football if nothing else.

This really was an epic rivalry with these two as they had some very good matches over the years. This more or less is the same match they would always do but neither was at that level yet. It’s still entertaining enough despite having some flaws. Diesel uses standard power moves while Bret takes a great beating and goes for the legs when he can.

Why mess with stuff that works really well? After about 20 minutes of pretty good back and forth stuff including about 3 near Sharpshooters and Anvil being an idiot in general, Neidhart gets nailed by Diesel while Shawn hits Bret with a belt. Diesel is setting for the powerbomb but Anvil runs in for the rather cheap DQ.

If nothing else it’s smart to have Diesel hit him to save some of Bret’s face. Neidhart is MAD and leaves while the heels beat up Bret. A bunch of suits come down to clear the ring as we get the pinfall or submission announcement for a BIG pop. Bret was insanely over.

Rating: B. Like I said this was standard stuff for them but it still worked really well. Bret could wrestle giants at a level that was only trumped by Sting for guys his size. This was a very good match and by far and away the best match of the night featuring a seven foot guy named after a sixteen wheel truck and a guy from Calgary named after a 19th century western writer. This was fine for what it was, but dang why was this in the middle of the card? I simply don’t get that.

Semi Finals: Razor Ramon vs. I.R.S.

IRS’ gimmick was great, but DANG he was bad on the mic. The bell rings and Razor jumps IRS, with Gorilla saying they’re not waiting for any kind of bell. That sums up the night as a whole: no one cares at all. The announcers try to bring up their complete failure of a feud around the new year which didn’t work at all as no one bought IRS as a legit challenger, so they put it on PPV anyway.

Hey, did you know that Bret won the tournament last year and is now world champion? I didn’t know if any of the first 20 references to it got through or not. You can tell Savage is getting a bit annoyed with Donovan as I have been all night long. Gorilla says that he can’t believe no one has ever grabbed IRS by the tie, except for EVERY MATCH HE HAS EVER HAD!!!

Donovan calls a clothesline a forearm, which is an understandable error I guess as it can be close at times. IRS goes for a back drop and gets the Edge for the pin. That was pointless.

Rating: D+. Again, this could have been on any house show you went to for about a year and it just wasn’t interesting at all. It wasn’t bad, but man it was boring. I mean that’s the problem with this whole show: nothing at all is of interest. It’s not a bad set of matches, but other than the world title match, nothing at all has been interesting at all. It’s all the same stuff and you can kind of tell that no one cared about this show other than Owen.

Bret is looking for someone, who I think was Neidhart but it’s not clear at all. He has the belt over his shoulder which just looks amusing for no particular reason.

Todd goes over the brackets again, unsure if Kid can go or not.

Semi–Finals:  Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Owen looks almost chipper here. Kid is injured to say the least. I’m not all that into this announcer. He was the guy at Mania 10 and I just didn’t like him that much. Gorilla says Kid was hammered earlier. How appropriate of a line that is. Macho recaps “for those who just tuned in”. Well ok then. Usually what I’ll do is watch a few minutes of a match then pause it or type during downtime like a chinlock or something like that.

This was a four minute match, and I think they weren’t going after each other for about 4 seconds in their longest stretch. This was on FIRE and was more or less a lucha libre style match. I’ve always thought Owen was a bit overrated but this was awesome. Kid was awesome too as I still say he was better against smaller guys. This was awesome with Owen winning with the Sharpshooter. Kid taps, but we don’t know what that means yet so he has to say he gives up which is just odd to see.

Rating: A. This was short but awesome. This style was so far ahead of its time that I don’t think anyone else on the roster, other than MAYBE Shawn could have pulled off something like this. Why in the world do we have to have Piper vs. Lawler take up 12 minutes when we could have more of this?

Piper rambles…a lot.

Tag Titles: Headshrinkers vs. Crush/Yokozuna

Oh this isn’t going to be good is it? Crush is somehow the most athletic guy in there. The Shrinkers are the faces here and the champion as this match has zero context at all and is the epitome of a token title match. Geez we have Cornette, Fuji, Albano and Afa out there as the 80s circle of B-list managers is complete. Before you freak, yes I know Cornette was the top manager in Crockett but it’s my line so get over it.

Anyway, this really isn’t very good at all and I’m a fan of 75% of the wrestlers in this. Yoko actually loses a headbutting contest. That has never happened that I know of. Naturally there are a ton of botches in here as anyone would expect from these guys. This match, much like this show, is just dragging on and on. The heels take over like everyone expected them to.

They’re using the Colossal Connection formula where Crush is playing Haku and doing most of the work. Yoko isn’t up to the size of Andre yet but he’s getting there. Surprisingly there’s limited interference from a ton of one time heel managers out there.

Anyway, Crush beats up on Samu and hits a legdrop because Hogan is gone and everyone can use that move again since it’s a rather generic move to use. But heeeeeere’s Luger doing the only thing he knows how to do as he’s being annoying again. After a missed rollup, Fatu comes in and gets the rollup correctly for the pin. Weird ending.

Rating: C-. Like I said, this was a token title match. It wasn’t that bad but a lot of this grade is because I like most of the people in there. Ok correction I like one team but not the people on it (screw you Rikishi. Like we were going to buy you as top heel). The styles completely clashed here and while it was an ok match, it wasn’t ever going to be anything great, just like everything else on this show.

KOTR Finals: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Like I said, the finals were about as predictable as you ever could imagine. Only the Harts can manage to make pink look cool. I think Razor has worn different color tights in every match which someone always does. Ok, right there, Razor shows that he’s at least somewhat intelligent as he does something very smart. Owen goes for a crossbody and Razor was supposed to catch him for the fallaway slam that he does.

They botch it as Owen either doesn’t get high enough or Razor couldn’t get him up enough, but one way or another they messed it up. So what does Razor do? Does he complete the spot anyway but make it look like crap? Nope, instead he sets Owen down and does a regular slam. See, that right there is what you call intelligence and being on your game in a match. See, if they had done the spot anyway, it would have looked bad.

Instead we get a much more basic, yet still completely believable and FAR better executed spot that worked just as well. Razor was smart there and it made things look much better. That’s a great sign. In kind of a tell tale sign, we can see the announcers and Gorilla and Savage are looking down at the monitors as most commentators do while Donovan is looking at the ring.

If nothing else he’s trying. I can’t fault Donovan for not trying. He’s done what he could all night, but it just isn’t working. He’s simply too old and confused here without having enough on camera presence to pull this off. I will say this though: he doesn’t sound bored or miserable about being there, which makes up for a lot. I’ve said this many times: if you don’t want to be there, leave.

The best example of a guy that clearly wanted to be there and was having a lot of fun doing this is Ray Combs from Survivor Series 93. He was a horrible announcer with some of his jokes and misunderstanding of the rules, but dang he was having a blast out there and he didn’t get in the way of the match at all. That’s how you do guest commentary. He added stuff where he could and he made the match a bit more fun.

The key though: he was having a good time, or at least made you believe he was. That’s all I ask. Owen puts on an abdominal stretch and two things come to my attention. First of all, he grabs the rope for additional leverage. The thing is, to me it looks like that’s taking pressure off of Razor. Owen is less than a foot from the ropes as he doesn’t even have to extend his arm to get to them, so how much help is that giving him?

Also, in something that actually made me laugh out loud, he hooks the toe around Razor’s leg which is the common criticism from Gorilla. Ok, so for once we have the perfect abdominal stretch. Gorilla should be happy right? I quote, “This is a mistake by Owen because this hold isn’t going to work on a guy like Razor no matter how well you put it on.” It’s official: Monsoon can never be satisfied, period.

He spends nearly 20 years complaining about no one ever hooking the leg around and the first time anyone does, the hold is worthless anyway. That’s just awesome on about a million levels. After Razor makes his comeback, Jim Neidhart makes his second run in of the night and beats up Razor. A top rope elbow from Owen gives him the win. A Hart Attack follows and Owen is crowned King. He names himself the King of Harts which was his nickname for a very long time.

Rating: C+. Eh, this was ok I guess. Both guys were a bit tired, but the biggest problem was that I don’t think anyone believed that Razor was going to win this. It was always going to be Owen and that was clear for weeks leading into this. The match was ok enough but it still wasn’t great. For a final though with a given ending, this was ok. Both guys were fairly sharp in the ring, so I’ll let this one get by. It wasn’t great, but I’ve seen far worse matches.

We recap the Piper vs. Lawler feud, which was over who had the better interview segment and turned into one liners against each other as Lawler implies that Piper is gay. This just wasn’t that interesting at all as Piper was just an old guy here, which is odd as he was only about two and a half years removed or so from his best in ring work ever.

Oh and there’s some tiny kid that is imitating Piper who plays a big role in this for absolutely no apparent reason. Ok, apparently recap means showing the entire Lawler interview with random Piper comments thrown in with it.

Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler

Yes, this is somehow the main event of a show with a tournament and a world title match on it. Also, they talk about the New Generation as Lawler walks down the aisle. So we have two mostly retired guys representing the new generation. Yeah that makes a ton of sense. Donovan inadvertently points out the biggest flaw in the tournament: Lawler has always been king so it’s very confusing.

He calls himself the undisputed king of the company, despite Owen being crowned about 3 minutes ago. See the problem now? There’s also something about a children’s hospital in Canada as we’ve apparently shifted from King of the Ring to a bad TV movie of the week. Of course Piper has a full team of bagpipe players and drummers. For zero apparent reason, Piper is now best friends with the guy that made fun of him on Raw.

That makes less than zero sense. Apparently Lawler is to blame for the kid putting on the Piper outfit, doing an impression of Roddy, and bowing to King and kissing his feet. Why are we having this match again? That makes no sense at all but we’ll go with it anyway. Oh look Piper wants to talk. He uses the bubblegum line to a HUGE pop. The kid makes some bad jokes too for no apparent reason.

So, from the time Lawler came through the curtain, it took 8 minutes to start the actual match. Gorilla says it’s vintage Piper, and in this case it actually is as he doesn’t actually wrestle but fights. The kid has a crown on. Just take me now. Piper throws some punches to mix it up a little. Donovan thinks Piper doesn’t like Lawler. At least this is almost over. The kid keeps interfering and even Piper gets annoyed with him.

Lawler hasn’t gotten a single move in yet and we’re about 4 minutes in. Roddy has short and almost blonde hair at this point and it’s just not right looking. Lawler goes after the kid and gets beaten on. That’s the story way too many times in this. Make that 6 minutes with nothing from Jerry. Hey there’s a punch, and once he gets Piper dazed a bit, he goes after the kid again. This show just needs to end now. I mean right now. Walk out of the ring and the show will be better instantly.

Apparently by being evil, Lawler is showing his true colors. If that’s the case he’s the biggest patriot I’ve ever seen because he never has a problem showing them. We’re in the corner now with the kid next to the buckle and Piper on his for protection while Lawler kicks Piper. I hate this match. There’s no commentary for a bit either as they have nothing to say or Donovan has wandered off again.

Piper “defends” him by shoving him out of the ring head first. 96% of this match has been punches. I mean they’re not even throwing in any kicks or something like that to vary it up a bit. Why are these two main eventing this show? Can ANYONE explain that to me? Apparently Lawler has patented the sleeper. Does ANYONE ever remember him using that? I know Piper used it, but Lawler?

I think Roddy agreed to give money or part of it or something that he wins here to the hospital. You know, instead of just giving it to them anyway from his own pocket. Lawler hits the only high impact move he knows and Roddy gets up. Piper says bring it on, so Lawler punches him down. That’s just amusing. This is just a bad match and it’s not showing any sign of ending.

Piper hits two bulldogs because the first wasn’t enough I suppose. He sets for a third and the referee goes down. Lawler hits him with the legendary foreign object and Piper is out. To continue the idiocy of this match, Lawler puts his feet on the ropes. That’s not that dumb of course as it’s a standard heel move that made Flair more hated than it was thought humanly possible to be.

No, the stupid part is Piper kicking his feet up into the air while not moving Lawler at all. Hey Roddy: IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU MOVED YOUR ARMS TOO! Seriously he’s just kicking them into the air. You would think he’s having a seizure or something. Anyway the kid shoves Lawler’s feet off the ropes because we just haven’t had enough fun tonight.

Piper botches a belly to back suplex and then botches a cover (Yes, he managed to botch a cover) for the pin to end this as apparently it’s a big deal that it’s Father’s Day. Ok then. Piper celebrates with the kid to end this.

Rating: F. WHAT IN THE HECK WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It’s the second longest match of the night and it was AWFUL. Literally, 95%+ of that match was just punching. It wasn’t interesting, there was ZERO reason for this to end the show, and that kid was a freaking pest.

Why wasn’t the WWF Title match the main event? It couldn’t have been to send the fans home happy. They were asleep for the most part. Hart won so it’s not like they would have been sad. I’m at a loss for words on this and that’s not something that happens often. I seriously have no clue what they were thinking here.

Overall Rating: D. This whole show was just boring. I haven’t been this bored since those marathon early Summerslams with squash after squash. You can tell there is zero effort or thought into the majority of this show. Seriously, Piper vs. Lawler to close? I don’t get that at all. There were some ok matches here, but man alive they were random.

I mean the Kid and Owen match was gold but it was three and a half minutes long and came from beyond left field. A lot of this stuff just wasn’t going to work no matter what happened. The main problem was there was no drama. Bret wasn’t going to lose just two months after Mania, the Headshrinkers weren’t going to lose, and Owen was a lock to win.

Also, Donovan hurts this a lot. He tried so hard, but it was about as out of place and distracting as you could imagine. I have no idea what the point was there but it failed miserably. Take a pass on this one as it’s boring and more or less other than Owen getting a new nickname, nothing at all of note happens here.

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