http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/01/23/wwe-video-game-license-to-be-acquired-by-take-two
This is out of my range of knowledge as the last system I owned was a PS2 and the only video games I play anymore are from before a lot of you were probably born. I have no idea if Take Two is good or if THQ was bad, but apparently they’ve gone out of business so they couldn’t be that good.
Thoughts on this?
20. Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, April 26, 1999)
19. Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero (Uncensored 1997)
18. Big Van Vader vs. Cactus Jack (Halloween Havoc 1993)
17. 3 Count vs. Jung Dragons (New Blood Rising 2000)
16. Diamond Dallas Page vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (Spring Stampede 1997)
15. Cactus Jack & Maxx Payne vs. Nasty Boys (Spring Stampede 1994)
14. Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko (Great American Bash 1996)
13. Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan (Bash at the Beach 1994)
12. Steiner Brothers vs. Sting & Lex Luger (SuperBrawl 1991)
11. Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude (Beach Blast 1992)
10. Brian Pillman vs. Jushin “Thunder” Liger (SuperBrawl II)
9. “Stunning” Steve Austin vs. Ricky Steamboat (Bash at the Beach 1994)
8. Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance (WrestleWar 1992)
7. Ric Flair vs. Big Van Vader (Starrcade 1993)
6. Rey Mysterio vs. Ultimo Dragon (World War 3 1996)
5. Ric Flair vs. Sting (Clash of Champions XXVII).
4. Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero (Halloween Havoc 1997)
3. Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Halloween Havoc 1998)
2. Ric Flair vs. Sting (Great American Bash 1990)
1. Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat (Clash of the Champions VI in 1989)
Great American Bash 1990??? As I said in my review of it: “The match isn’t great and it’s certainly not their best.”
This is wrong on SO many levels. Some of these matches weren’t even the best matches on their own shows. Also, this is leaving out a ton of great stuff from the 80’s for absolutely no apparent reason. They were still in the NWA for the 1990 Bash so it can’t be that.
This is a big news story lately with even ESPN.com mentioning. As for what I think, Yes it was a bad promo, but Cena has been cutting great ones for years now. He missed on this one and it went on way too far and he could have cut about three minutes out of it and gotten the point (Sunday is a big day and he’s going to war. Why is that so hard for people to get?) across just the same. What wrestling fans’ short attention spans seem to forget is that Cena is one of the best talkers ever. He messed this one up and that’s it. Everyone is entitled to a misstep every once in awhile. Even Rock had some really stupid catchphrases (“Why don’t you go and have a nice cool glass of SHUT UP JUICE?” or “How are your lips?”) every now and then. It’s not the end of the world and it’s certainly not the end of Cena. It was a bad promo and at the moment nothing more than that.
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 1995
Location: Manatee Civic Center, Palmetto, Florida
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels
It’s the night after the Rumble and the main story is that Bam Bam Bigelow shoves Lawrence Taylor and nearly got in a fight with him. That would be the main event of Wrestlemania, showing how big a mess things were. Shawn Michaels won the Rumble last night as well, setting up his world title shot against Diesel. This is still just an hour and would be for over two more years. Let’s get to it.
We open with Vince apologizing for Bigelow shoving Taylor down yesterday. Apparently Bam Bam has been suspended without pay.
Dig that old school Raw opening! I haven’t seen that in a long time.
Shawn is brought out to do commentary, which is kind of strange for the Rumble winner. He does his expected bragging.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly
The Kid and Holly are defending here, having won the belts last night in a tournament final. Vince: “This should be a tremendous matchup!” Shawn: “I’ll let you know if it’s tremendous. No one knows more about tremendous matches than me.” Only Shawn could say that line and get away with it. Billy and Bob start things off and it’s a feeling out process between both faces. Billy with a mullet just doesn’t work at all. Then again most stuff Billy did didn’t work.
Off to Bart but Bob bails away, interestingly enough from his future partner. The Kid comes in and fires away some kicks but can’t hit Bart with any of them. Bart misses a dropkick and it’s off to Bob again. We get some token arm work from the champ before both guys miss elbow drops, leading to a standoff. Billy comes in with a bulldog from behind for two as the champions take over. A double gorilla press on Holly looks to set up another double team move but Bob crotches Billy to escape.
The champions hit a double superplex for two as things pick up out of nowhere. We take a break and come back with Billy running into a knee to the ribs to put him back down. A kick to the face puts Billy down again and it’s back to the Kid. A spinwheel kick gets two on Billy as does a double dropkick from the champions. Back to Holly who loses a slugout before it’s back to the Kid.
In a teachable moment, the Kid hits what we would call the Fameasser on Billy. Apparently the teaching works as Billy hits a Fameasser of his own about thirty seconds later to take the Kid down. Hot tag brings in Bart who gets two off a backdrop of all things. The Gunns hit the Sidewinder (side slam from Bart/legdrop from Billy) for two as Holly makes the save. The Kid gets to play Ricky Morton which is the best possible role for him.
We take another break and come back with Kid in a chinlock. Back to Billy for a legdrop (he REALLY likes that move) for no cover. The Gunns hit a dropkick/suplex combo for two as Shawn is in full criticism mode. Holly finally does something and kicks Bart in the back to let the Kid make the tag. Bob hits that dropkick of his for two but goes up and jumps into a boot like an idiot. The Gunns hit an over the shoulder powerbomb/top rope elbow combination on Holly to take the titles from the Cinderella team.
Rating: B-. This was a LONG match for its day. They probably had about twenty minutes out there and got a pretty good match out of it. I fail to see the point in taking the Gunns out of the tournament if they were just going to get the belts here. Still though, this was a nice treat given how much time it got. Neither team was heel here but they both had evil flashes in there.
The former champions ask for a rematch which I believe happened next week.
Shawn promises to find a new bodyguard. That would wind up being Sid.
IRS vs. Buck Quartermain
IRS and the Million Dollar Corporation stole Undertaker’s urn last night, setting of an eight month or so long feud. You might remember Buck from the old school TNA days. Roddy Piper is on the phone for this for no apparent reason and praises the New Generation. The match is nothing of note and IRS wins with a flying clothesline in about two and a half minutes. The whole match was about Roddy.
Here’s the King’s Court (Lawler’s interview show) with Jeff Jarrett and the Roadie. Jarrett brags about winning the IC Title last night and wants a shot at Diesel. Vince FREAKS about Jarrett wanting a shot at the world title. Well to be fair, why would a midcard champion ever get near the world title? Right Vince?
British Bulldog vs. Black Phantom
The Phantom is portrayed by David Heath, more famous as Gangrel. Davey talks trash to Shawn before the match and gets jumped by the Phantom. A jumping DDT gets two on Smith but he comes back with the delayed vertical suplex for no cover. Vince goes into a bizarre rant about how Shawn didn’t deserve to win the Rumble because only one foot hit. What Shawn did was perfectly legal, so why doesn’t he deserve the win? Smith hooks a chinlock for a bit before Phantom makes a comeback and misses a middle rope splash. The powerslam gets the easy pin for Smith.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but the commentary exchange was pretty fun stuff. Smith was a solid upper midcard guy around this time but would get stuck in a tag team with Luger soon after this that would bring him right back down. Nothing of note to the match here but that’s par for the course in squashes.
Bam Bam Bigelow is supposed to apologize but there’s no audio. Post break and Bigelow still can’t hear us. Oh wait yes we can. It’s almost like this company has no idea what it’s doing. Wait we DON’T have Bigelow. Egads man this is pathetic.
A quick preview of next week’s show ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. For a 1995 Raw, this was pretty entertaining stuff. A twenty minute match that wasn’t half bad is an incredibly rare thing today so back then it would have been a once a year thing. Other than that we didn’t have much, but for a one hour show that’s pretty good stuff. 1995 just wasn’t interesting for the most part though, and that’s what this falls under the category of: decent but not interesting.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
WWF House Show
Date: January 23, 1984
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 26,292
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson
I don’t have the proper words to explain what this show means to wrestling. It’s the night that changed everything and gave birth to modern wrestling. Here, we have the new WWF World Champion the Iron Sheik defending against the breakout star of Rocky III, Hulk Hogan. Obviously everyone knows the ending to this (they should as the match has been included on at least eight WWF tapes/DVDs) and it’s one of the matches everyone should see at least once. Let’s get to it.
Jose Luis Rivera vs. Tony Garea
Feeling out process to start as I think this is face vs. face here. Garea works on the arm to start and they hit the mat for a bit. Both guys trade headscissors and head locks to control with Rivera finally controlling. Tony gets a quick cross body for two before hooking an armbar to slow things down again. Jose tries to fight out and even slams Tony but can’t break the armbar.
Rivera grabs a quick two off a rollup and they circle each other a bit more. Somehow we’re still feeling each other out after five minutes. There’s nothing going on so we look at a replay of the rollup. Rivera kind of messes up a backdrop then tries a dropkick as Garea tries a backdrop. Since things like dropkicks and backdrops are too complex, it’s back to the armbars. Out of nowhere, Rivera tries a spinning cross body out of the corner but Garea rolls through and gets a kind of fast count for the pin.
Rating: C-. Technically this was fine but that doesn’t make it a good match. Garea was one of those guys that was always around and was mainly a tag team guy but he would get a good reaction when he was out there. Rivera on the other hand was never all that interesting and was probably just there because he was Puerto Rican. Not much to see here.
Invaders vs. Mr. Fuji/Tiger Chung Lee
The Invaders are masked guy and one of them murdered Bruiser Brody. One of the Invaders is taller so we’ll call him #1. The official Invader #1 is the guy so it’s hard not to boo him. Lee and #2 start things off….but Gorilla is calling him #1. Oh wait he’s the taller one. Great now they’re making rapid fire tags (#2 barely gets over the ropes without tripping) and Chung’s arm gets beaten on over and over.
Monsoon says #2 is in there now so good enough. Anyway he stays on the arm and it’s off to Fuji for the first time. #2 blocks a chop and hits Fuji in the ribs before cranking on the arm a bit. #1 randomly jumps in and out of the ring to distract the referee. As he’s doing this, #2 doesn’t move an inch. A cross body gets two for #2 and it’s back to the arm. Fuji looks ticked off.
Back to #1 for some arm cranking on Lee who finally hits a slam…and is promptly kicked in the face. It’s back to the armbar by #2 and here’s #1 again. Lee shoves #1 into the corner for some choking from Fuji with a tag rope and it’s officially off to Mr. It’s quickly back to Lee to crank on #1’s arm and hit a backdrop for two. Fuji gets a suplex of his own for no cover. #1 comes back with a suplex of his own followed by slamming Fuji off the top, allowing for the hot tag to #2.
Lee comes in as well and things speed WAY up. Gorilla calls #2 by his real name (Johnny Rivera) just before Lee hits a Saito Suplex for two. Back to Fuji who suplexes #2 and chops him down before bringing Tiger back in. We hit the bearhug and Gorilla says to bite him in the ear or poke him in the eye to escape. Monsoon was EVIL at times. Back to the bearhug and #1 breaks the hold up, only to have Fuji switch sans tag.
Fuji hooks the ultra lame back claw as Gorilla talks about having a bunch of bananas thrown at him. Now he talks about which camera we’re looking through to fill in time. #2 crawls around to the corner (could it be because it was just a freaking hand on his side?) and makes the hot tag to #1 to face Lee…and they lock up. So much for the burst of speed. A spinning cross body out of the corner is caught in an atomic drop from Lee to get us to heat segment #3.
We hit the chinlock as this is clearly going to the time limit draw. Fuji comes in for some double choking (I miss stuff like that. It’s so basic but it works so easily) before another illegal switch. #1 misses a splash which gives Lee two but he allows the tag to #2. We get some leg work as the Invaders rapidly tag in and out again. They take turns cannonballing down onto the leg but Lee escapes a spinning toe hold. #2 blocks the tag though and we get a leg lock.
Fuji comes in and gets his own leg worked on for good measure. Off to an abdominal stretch (Gorilla complains like a broken record) on Fuji followed by one on a charging Lee. Fuji breaks it up so here’s #2 who is WAY too small to hook an abdominal stretch on Lee but he does it anyway. Everything breaks down and the Invaders hook a Rowboat (stupid double leglock) as the bell rings for the time limit.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but after about ten minutes it was clear what we were going to. It didn’t help that a lot of the match was spent going slowly so they could fill in time. This was a much more common occurrence back in the day as well as you would get a draw on almost every show.
Masked Superstar vs. Chief Jay Strongbow
Strongbow is a relic of the past and Masked Superstar would become more famous as Ax of Demolition. Gorilla calls this a main event in any arena in the country, other than this one I guess. They shove each other around to start and man alive does Strongbow look old. Patterson seems to have disappeared. Jay runs the Superstar over and puts on a headlock. Pat is back now and thinks Strongbow will try to take off the mask.
They get back up and Masked Superstar runs into the corner to hide. Back to the headlock as this match doesn’t seem interested in going anywhere. Strongbow goes for the mask and we head to the floor. Back in and Strongbow goes on the warpath and fires off some knees to Superstar’s head. He can’t get the mask off though and Masked comes back with shots in the corner. It’s warpath time again and Strongbow hits a bunch of chops and his sleeper but Superstar comes back with a single clothesline for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was boring but the crowd carried it by being so into Strongbow. Sometimes just a simple gimmick like being an Indian along with the longevity that Jay had (he was in his mid 50s here) were all that you needed. The match itself was pretty dull but Strongbow was trying at least. Shockingly not horrible here.
Ivan Putski vs. Sgt. Slaughter
We get the shot from the back as Sarge comes out. I miss that camera shot. I think Slaughter is a heel here but he seems rather popular anyway. Putski, who might be 5’8 in heels, starts firing off punches but Sarge bails to the corner. They circle each other a bit more with no contact yet. Putski is small but he is RIPPED (and pretty clearly full of steroids). They finally collide with Putski shoving him around and slamming the Sarge down to stall some more.
Ivan hooks a headlock as Patterson talks about Putski loving to drink and sing. Back to the headlock as this is going slowly again. Slaughter finally comes out with an atomic drop and works on the back for a bit. That doesn’t last long though as Slaughter gets rammed into the top turnbuckle and may have been busted open in the process. Slaughter gets sent shoulder first into the post as Patterson says to stay on top of him. Is that what he got to do after the Alley Fight?
Slaughter reverses a whip into the corner and comes back with the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) to take over but he can’t slam Putski. Ivan is billed at 225lbs and Slaughter can’t slam him? The Cannon misses and Putski comes back with the Polish Hammer (double ax to the chest) and a shoulder to send Slaughter to the floor. In a funny bit, Sarge’s chin gets caught on the bottom rope to keep him from hitting the concrete. They fight on the apron and Putski knocks Slaughter back inside, which lets Slaughter beat the count and win by countout.
Rating: D. Another dull match here as is the custom for 1984. Putski just wasn’t that good and he looked freaky to say the least. He was just too muscular for someone his size and it never quite worked. Slaughter would go to the AWA pretty soon after this and stay for years until coming back around 1990 to be the turncoat American.
Gorilla sends it to the back for an interview with Paul Orndorff, including a rare mistake as he messes up Orndorff’s name. After that bad mistake. Paul says that Salvatore Bellomo is nothing more than a spaghetti eater to him.
Paul Orndorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo
Paul has Roddy Piper with him and this is Orndorff’s MSG debut. This is also Piper’s return to MSG after being in the NWA for about five years. We stall to start a lot, allowing Patterson to get in another line that is only funny when he says it: “If Orndorff turned his back to me like that, I would be all over him.” Now Orndorff and Piper complain about Sal’s knee brace. The heels threaten to leave as Pat says he’d like to get in the ring with Orndorff to see if he liked him.
Now Paul complains about not having his own corner. He finally gets back in so Piper can disrobe him. Wait actually he just unties it and the disrobing takes place on the floor. The bell rang about four minutes ago so this is just stalling. Piper distracts Sal and the attack is on fast. The squashing begins and Piper is immediately talking trash. Orndorff stomps away and chokes on the rope before getting two off a backdrop. Piper to the referee: “COUNT FASTER!” Sal falls on Paul in a slam attempt for two. Piper: “NOT SO FAST!”
Orndorff misses a charge into the post and rams his shoulder, allowing Bellomo to make his required comeback. A dropkick hits Orndorff and Paul misses an elbow drop. Bellomo puts on a wristlock but Paul gets in a knee to the ribs to stop the momentum. Sal grabs the arm again immediately and cranks away, even surviving an armdrag attempt from Paul. Bellomo adds a headscissors as the match keeps going. Orndorff finally suplexes his way out of the hold and Sal heads to the floor.
Piper yells at Bellomo as only he can before Orndorff slams Sal on the floor. Back in and Paul hits a perfect suplex for two and Roddy can’t handle many more of these kickouts. Orndorff chokes away in the corner a bit, much to the anger of the “bite his ear or poke him in the eye” dude. Orndorff goes up but misses a top rope knee drop and gets beaten on for a bit. A powerslam stops Bellomo dead and a great piledriver ends this clean.
Rating: C-. It depends on how you look at this one. Bellomo stayed in there too long, but at the same time it made Orndorff look like a killer which is the right idea here. That piledriver looked GREAT and Orndorff was clearly going to be something special. Fourteen minutes is too long of a match though, especially for an MSG debut like this.
Bellomo takes forever to get out of the ring to make the beating look even better. Good stuff.
Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Tito Santana
Tito is challenging and Muraco has Albano with him. Feeling out process to start with Albano wondering around the ring for no apparent reason other than he’s Lou Albano. Tito finally takes over with a headlock before firing off some of those right hands that Jesse would say have guacamole on them. When the headlock stops working, Tito just rams Muraco’s head into the mat. Why over complicate things?
Back to the headlock as Tito cranks away. A big knee drop to Muraco’s head gets two and it’s back to the headlock. Don comes out of the hold with a backbreaker but is immediately slammed right back down into the headlock. This is getting rather repetitive as we’re over eleven minutes into this match and about nine of them have been spent in a headlock. They changes things up slightly by having Tito on his feet where Muraco can break the hold with a kind of Russian legsweep.
Muraco rams Santana’s head into the buckle to take over and adds in a powerslam for two. I’m pretty sure Muraco’s finisher at this point was a tombstone but I’m not sure. The fans cheer for Tito and he starts to Hulk Up a bit. Santana punches Muraco down and stomps away before having to take Albano out. The forearm misses Don though and both guys are down. Muraco goes up top and they slug it out….for a double DQ? Dang this is an old school match. Even Gorilla sounds confused by that.
Rating: D. I LOVE Tito Santana, but man alive this was boring. It’s a sixteen minute match and nearly thirteen minutes of that are spent in a headlock. That isn’t an exaggeration either. I checked to see if I had forgotten something but there’s nothing else there. Tito would win the title from Muraco about three weeks later in Boston.
Tito swears he can beat Muraco and claims he got ripped off. Albano had no business being in the ring.
Haiti Kid/Tiger Jackson vs. Dana Carpenter/Pancho Boy
Midget match with 2/3 falls here. Kid and Tiger are incredibly small and probably half a foot shorter each than the villains. Tiger Jackson would go on to become Doink’s partner Dink. Carpenter is almost as tall as the referee. Pancho gets pantsed by Tiger and we’re ready to go. Carpenter and Jackson start things off but Dana immediately brings in Pancho. Tiger hooks a headlock so Boy tries to grab his hair, forgetting that Steve Austin has more hair on his head than Jackson does.
Pancho slaps Jackson in the head a bit before getting elbowed in the ribs. Jackson takes him down with a flying headscissors and holds him on the mat for a bit. I think Pancho might have portrayed Queasy of Jerry Lawler’s team at the 94 Survivor Series but that’s just a guess. Pancho fights up and literally spins Jackson around on the top of his bald head.
Haiti comes in with some dropkicks to clean house. Carpenter comes in and gets beaten up too as this is your usual midget match. Haiti dropkicks Dana to the floor before putting him in a full nelson. We get some heel miscommunication resulting in Pancho hitting Carpenter by mistake. Back to Pancho vs. Tiger as this keeps going. They keep going until Jackson hits a middle rope sunset flip for the first fall.
The third fall begins with Haiti vs. Pancho, because if there’s one thing better than a midget match, it’s a two out of three falls midget match! Haiti Kid is black, so therefore his head is immune to being rammed into buckles. Kid can’t suplex Carpenter and the referee gets dogpiled. We get a crisscross and Kid hooks an airplane spin on Carpenter. We get a weird ending as Haiti covers Carpenter and the referee is REALLY hesitant to count the pin, as in that wasn’t the correct finish.
Rating: D. I hate these things. They’re not interesting because there are no stories to them and the matches are always based around unfunny comedy. I guess the live crowd likes them or something, because I don’t care about these things at all. Nothing to see here other than the same shenanigans you see everywhere.
Freddie Blassie is annoyed that Hogan has been swapped in for Bob Backlund and says the cheating isn’t going to work. Sheik speaks I’m assuming Arabic and rants about Hogan before switching to English and getting cut off. Why? Because this is pre-taped and Sheik and Blassie are in the ring.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik
This is it. This is the match that changes EVERYTHING. Sheik beat Backlund like a month earlier and Backlund is too injured to get his rematch here, so Hulk gets the shot instead. The place goes NUTS for Hogan’s entrance for the first of many occasions. This is Hogan’s return to the Garden after about three years. After being bored all night, the place is going nuts just from hearing “From Venice Beach, California.”
The bell rings and Hogan CHARGES at him in the corner before Sheik can even get his robe off. A clothesline with the robe takes down the champion and it’s all Hulk so far. Another big clothesline puts Sheik down before Hulk easily picks him up for a choke. Hulk, ever the hero, spits on Sheik to a huge ovation. Big boot gets two so Hulk hits a pair of elbows for two. Hulk FINALLY screws up by missing a running elbow in the corner and Sheik takes over.
The champion stomps away with those curled boots of his. I guess it’s a Middle East thing. A backbreaker puts Hogan down but he easily powers out at one. Off to a Boston Crab but Hulk powers out after about ten seconds. Sheik can’t get anything going here long term. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Sheik and (with an infamous erection for some reason) puts on the camel clutch that won the title. Hulk casually wags his fingers no and he powers out of the hold in less than thirty seconds. Hogan picks Sheik up, rams him into the buckle, drops the big leg, and as Gorilla puts it, Hulkamania is here.
Rating: A+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Hogan squashed Sheik here, basically selling nothing and escaping Sheik’s best move before beating him in less than six minutes. Look at this card: even the opener was a minute longer than this match. Hogan DOMINATED the champion here and left no doubt about who was better. After this, everything became about flash than substance, and for people who complain about it, let it go already. The change is over and it’s never going back. Absolutely perfect here.
Sheik refuses to go out on a stretcher and charges at Hogan again, only to get beaten down one more time.
Hogan celebrates in the back and Andre pops up to pour champagne over him. This would be used in the Mania III hype package. It’s still the big green belt too which was ugly as sin. Rocky Johnson and Ivan Putski come in to celebrate too.
We’ve still got two matches to go. I never got why that was the case.
Rene Goulet vs. Jimmy Snuka
Goulet jumps Snuka to start and does some what appears to be biting. A back elbow puts Snuka down and a slam gets two. The very popular Snuka comes back with a hip toss and Goulet hides in the corner. Rene puts on a front facelock but Snuka elbows him down and wins with a top rope cross body.
Rating: D+. Snuka is always fun to watch and this was just a quick match to fill in time before the end of the show. No one bought Snuka as being in trouble at all and there was no reason to. He was INSANELY over at this point, probably the second biggest star in the company other than maybe Andre.
Hogan’s parents celebrate with him in the back.
Andre the Giant/Rocky Johnson/Tony Atlas vs. Wild Samoans
It’s Afa/Sika/Samula here who would become Samu in the 90s. Johnson and Atlas are tag champions, having beaten the Samoans about two months prior. I think that’s Samula and Atlas to start things off as we’re just waiting on Andre to come in and destroy people. Rocky comes in instead and we get a crisscross. Rocky stops and allows Samula to keep running in a funny bit.
Johnson ducks an attack in the corner and causes some heel miscommunication before it’s back to Tony. Atlas EASILY breaks a full nelson and sends Samula into a shot from Andre. Here’s the big guy (I mean the biggest of the big guys) but Samula blocks a backdrop with a headbutt. Two Samoans headbutt him down and it’s Sika the legal man. The headbutts are no sold now and Andre is starting to have fun. Andre drops Sika with a headbutt and sits on his chest for a pin.
Rating: D+. This was as simple as it sounds. I don’t think Afa ever got in there as this didn’t even last five minutes. Andre and the Soul Patrol were popular guys and it was a fun way to send the crowd home happy. Good stuff here and a good way to end the show which wasn’t exactly hot so far.
Patterson and Monsoon wrap things up.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a hard one to sit through. 1983 wasn’t the best time for the company as far as in ring stuff went and you could see a lot of the less interesting stuff going on here still. Hogan winning the title here of course changes everything though and is the only reason to watch it. You can literally find it on at least 8 tapes or DVDs and it’s all over Youtube. Not a good show, but to say it’s historic is a huge understatement.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
So on Monday, my page views for the site nearly broke the record for a single day but came up short. On Tuesday, the record wasn’t broken either. The record was DESTROYED, with Tuesday’s total being a mind blowing 14% higher than the old record from three weeks ago. I don’t know what’s happened around here lately but the numbers are going through the roof and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you all again and please keep coming around. I’m stunned by how well this has been going and I’ll be around for as long as you guys want me here.
KB
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is another request whose reasoning I’m not sure of. Maybe people just like to make me cry. Anyway we’re coming up on Unforgiven in a few weeks which has a main event of Goldberg vs. HHH. In keeping with WWE tradition, the main event tonight is Goldberg/Orton vs. HHH/Flair, because Orton is in Evolution and therefore will make problems for Goldberg. Dig that high quality matchmaking! Let’s get to it.
Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
Kane was recently unmasked and therefore turned heel (granted it’s Kane so who knows why he turned) on his tag partner RVD, setting up this cage match. Instead of THIS taking place on PPV though, we got Shane McMahon vs. Kane because Kane electrocuted Shane’s testicles with jumper cables last week. Kane jumps Rob as soon as he gets in and immediately starts pounding away.
Van Dam gets sent into the cage but comes back with a kick and a flip attack out of the corner. Kane rams him right back into the cage again and crushes Van Dam’s head against the cage with a boot. A side slam puts Rob down for no cover so Kane rams him into the cage again. Van Dam tries a comeback but his stepover kick is countered into a powerslam for no cover again.
Kane loads up a powerbomb but Van Dam punches out of it. Not that it matters much though as Kane clotheslines him down and goes back up top. That goes badly for him as well though as Rob crotches him and crushes him against the cage with a cross body. Somewhere along the way Rob got cut over his eye. The jumping kick from the top rope puts Kane down again and Rolling Thunder hits for no cover. Rob tries to leave but has to kick Kane off the ropes.
Since Van Dam isn’t that bright at times, he tries the Five Star but only hits the mat. Kane loads him up in a powerbomb position but drops Van Dam face first into the cage. Van Dam gets thrown into the cage a few times and after pointing at himself, Kane loads him up for a third ram. Rob gets tossed….and the cage breaks, allowing him to fall to the floor for the win. Well that was unexpected.
Actually it’s so unexpected that before I can rate it, Bischoff comes out and says you have to go over the cage and not out of it to win, so we need to keep going. After a break Kane continues to pound away while talking trash. Apparently during the break Kane slammed the cage on Van Dam’s head to put him in this much trouble. Rob tries to climb and Kane just lets him so RVD kicks him in the face. Van Dam tries to climb up but Kane climbs onto the top rope with him and a kind of chokeslam off said top rope is enough for the pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day, unless you’re a wrestling encyclopedia, you’re not likely going to have an idea why this match is happening. JR and King mentioned Kane’s rage, but I don’t think they mentioned the two of them even being partners until a few weeks ago. Also the match itself was pretty one sided for the most part and I’m not sure why it was in a cage in the first place.
Bischoff makes Shane vs. Kane and King/JR vs. Snow/Coach for the commentary position (just go with it) for Unforgiven. For tonight, HHH and Goldberg face each other in a tag match with mystery partners. Hooray!
Lance Storm is worried about being called boring so Goldust tells him to go beat up Rico in front of the Stormtroopers. Storm tries to do the Goldust breath and it’s rather disturbing.
Lance Storm vs. Rico
If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.
Storm and Goldie dance post match.
HHH wants to know who the mystery partners are but Eric won’t say.
Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim
Trish’s team are the faces here and Molly is champion here. She’s in blue tonight and has that short brown hair going on which looks GREAT. Also Gail is looking especially good here in white. Molly and Jackie start things off with the champion getting armdragged a lot. Off to Jackie who gets whipped around as well before an elbow drop gets two. JR gets Jackie and Molly confused because that’s easy to do right?
Molly and Gail hit a double DDT on Jackie for two before Kim takes Jackie’s hand and slaps it against Trish for a tag. Stratus comes in and beats on everyone in sight before hitting a headlock/headscissors combo to Gail and Molly respectively. The heels backdrop Trish to the floor before throwing the carcass back in for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match here was nothing special but I’m really impressed by how good the heels looked. In case you’re missing the point, I’m talking about their looks and not their in ring abilities. It’s WAY better than what we have going on with the modern Divas, but man alive they made few secrets about it being all about sex appeal at this point.
Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. How about we state that at this address, Raw will have more wrestling tonight? There’s a podium for him to speak from but Austin throws it to the floor and destroys it because it’s not his style. It takes forever to get to his first announcement, which is that if HHH gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. As for Kane, Austin thinks he should be able to beat him up for what Kane did to Shane. However since Austin is Co-GM, he’s not allowed to do that. Austin and his cabinet (his liquor cabinet of course) met and determined this sucks.
This brings out Christian who makes fun of the fact that Austin can’t beat anyone up. He’s tired of being Intercontinental Champion and not getting any respect and after debating the topic for a bit, we get down to the point: Christian wants his own talk show to replace the Highlight Reel. This brings out Jericho to lay out Christian to much praise from Austin. Jericho goes off on Austin for patronizing him and says he wakes up every day and prays that Austin has been fired. Austin says he likes the Highlight Reel and that Jericho can either keep whining or have a beer.
Jericho says that Austin wants to give him a Stunner but he can’t do it. Jericho: “If you want Steve Austin to give me a Stunner, give me a doo-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do.” Austin: “That was the stupidest catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw.” Steve throws Jericho a beer but the Canadian drops it. Austin gives him a very easy throw on the second try in a funny bit but Jericho slaps Austin on the back. That counts as physical provocation so there’s the Stunner. Somehow this took over eighteen minutes. What exactly was said in that amount of time?
La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey
Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.
Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.
Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.
Post match La Resistance picks up Spike and throw him over the top rope and at the table. I say at the table because they don’t throw him far enough and Spike’s head smacks into the table, probably breaking his neck in the process.
Eric makes a 3-2 handicap tables match for the titles at Unforgiven. For those of you not remembering, Eric LOVED tables matches. It was like his version of tag matches for Teddy Long.
HHH talks about Goldberg and plugs a sponsor at the same time.
We run down the Unforgiven card.
Shane is at The World but before he can get anywhere, Bischoff pops up and makes his match with Kane a last man standing match. That means the PPV now has a handicap tables match, a last man standing match, a match for control of Raw’s announcer booth, and a career threatening match. Why would we care about wrestling, right? Oh and another gimmick match would be added later.
Molly and Gail still look hot but now they have an evil idea, whatever that is.
Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards
Somehow Steiner has a job at this point. He also has Stacy who is his girlfriend/head freak at this point, which would change very soon. This is angle advancement for Steiner vs. Test, the latter of which is at ringside here. Richards tries to jump Steiner to start and gets pounded down in the corner as a result. There’s a clothesline for Richards and it’s push-up time. Richards gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for the pin. Nothing match here.
Post match here’s Bischoff AGAIN to make Test vs. Steiner for the PPV with Stacy on the line.
Back from a break and Coach and Snow are in the ring. THIS is what gets the next to last spot on Raw people. Let that sink in for a minute. Coach talks about jobs JR can have after he loses his job soon and we get WWE Humor with faces superimposed over FUNNY pictures. He goads JR to the ring and Coach gets laid out. Lawler shoves Snow to the floor and that’s that. This is happening because Coach and Snow are the Heat commentators and want a promotion. Seriously, THIS is the second big feud on Raw right now. Yet somehow people defend 2003 to me. I don’t get it.
Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???
Bischoff comes out and talks tough to HHH before bringing out Flair to be HHH’s partner. Goldie’s partner: Randy Orton. Goldberg starts fighting the opponents before Orton gets there before beating up his own partner. We’re not going to get a match here are we? Orton gets in a shot on Goldberg’s knee as HHH says lower the cage again. Bill keeps trying to fight and has all three guys down for a bit, only to walk into a chair shot to the head from HHH. The big beatdown ensues as Goldbeg is bleeding. HHH is legit injured at this point so the Pedigree is basically Goldberg falling and HHH kneeling. A second try closes the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Yet people still defend this nonsense. Let’s look at what we had tonight: a cage match that wasn’t important enough to give a story to, JR/King/Snow/Coach as the second big feud for the PPV, a beatdown to end the show, a 20 minute talking segment that went nowhere, and no good matches in two hours. When the best part of a show might be Molly Holly’s hair, you’ve got major problems.
I’ve already done the September 15, 2003 Raw if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
It’s not a spoiler but since people insist on whining about reading news when they come to a site where news is posted, I’ll put it after the break. I’ll even go one up on that and throw in some fake tags. Is THAT enough to make you lunkheads happy?Cesaro is defending against Miz. You knew that was going to be added to the card in some sort.
I know this isn’t exactly the kind of content usually done on here, but if you or anyone you know is interested in nail polish/nail art, check out horcruxnails.com. It’s run by someone very talented and if you’ve never seen what can be done with nail polish, you might be surprised. Check it out if nothing else to see some cool art stuff with a good name.
I posted another of these for I think the year 2012. There isn’t a ton of new information but it’s pretty cool to see. No I didn’t make this.
