Your picks?

Now here’s one I’d bet 99% of you have never heard of. This is the Professional Wrestling Federation, which is a company that Dusty Rhodes started in Florida once the CWF went out of business. That’s about the extent of what I know about this show. Well that and that it takes place in 1989. I have no idea what else to expect here and this is the only show of theirs that I know of. Let’s get to it.

Page and Solie welcome us to the show and tell us where the show is taking place at which is nice. The main event is the Steelman vs. Dusty for the inaugural PWF World Title. There’s a match going on in the background but we can’t see who it is or what’s going on. Steelman is apparently about 400lbs.

There are two “reporters” talking about the show.

Dusty is getting ready in the back.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Lou Perez vs. Jim Backlund

Backlund is champion I think. It seems that Perez is the crowd favorite here. Backlund takes him to the mat with a headlock and they get back up quickly. Perez jumps over him a bunch of times and this has something to do with Florida Championship Wrestling as well. No idea what but I don’t think it really matters for the most part. Backlund works on the arm and we have five minutes remaining. This was the match that was going on when we started. Nice job guys.

Backlund dropkicks him down with four minutes left in this boring match. Perez comes back with a backdrop for two. Something like a Boss Man Slam puts Backlund down but Perez hurt himself too. Two minutes left and Lou gets a near fall on a sunset flip. They hit heads and go down again to kill more time. Snap suplex by Backlund with a minute left and he goes up top. His splash misses and Perez hits a dropkick for two. Time runs out so Backlund keeps the title.

Rating: D. What a boring match. This was 1980s small people wrestling in a nutshell: neither guy was particularly good, but you can have a Junior Heavyweight Titles so put it on someone. This resulted in REALLY boring matches like these and about four guys ever getting the title. The problem is that these guys wrestled like heavyweights but at about half the speed for some reason. It never was very good until some Japanese and Mexican guys came in and actually did something interesting. I’ve never heard of either guy anyway.

Bobby Jaggers/Johnny Ace/Black Bart/The Terminator vs. Nasty Boys/Italian Stallion/Bubble Gum Kid

This should be….uh…..interesting. And yes it’s the same Johnny Ace. Bart and Jaggers are the Southern Force. Ace and Terminator, his less famous brother, are tag champions. Stallion and Bart get things going as Page talks about Ace’s trunks. Jaggers gets slammed as does Bart so it’s Bart in officially now. Knobbs comes in and has a bad shoulder apparently. Off to Sags and then Bubble Gum Kid. Seriously, who named him that?

The Nasties help Stallion to cheat on Terminator so here’s Ace. The problem with a match with this many people in it is that you can’t keep up with who tags in. Also there’s not enough time to get anything going so it’s kind of a mess. Kid hipblocks everyone so Page complains about him being too flashy. Even Gordon gets on Page for that. Stallion comes in and gets out of the heel corner followed by some dancing.

It’s Jaggers vs. Stallion at the moment with Jaggers looking afraid to charge in at him. Back to ace who has flower power going on with the tights. Page has a habit of putting the word baby at the end of every sentence. Knobbs comes in to face Bart and gets caught in the heel corner where they work over his bad shoulder. We finally have our face in peril. It’s off to Ace to work on the arm and then back to Terminator.

Now it’s Bart working on the arm and as soon as I finish typing that it’s Jaggers. Sags tries to come in which doesn’t do any good so it’s Terminator in for more punishment. Knobbs manages a clothesline and gets the tag to Bubble Gum Kid. Everything breaks down as you knew it was going to do at some point. Kid goes up but gets hit in the head with a bradning iron, allowing Bart to steal the pin.

Rating: D. Another uninteresting match here for the reasons that I gave you earlier on. There were just way too many people in there and because of that it was really hard to get a story going. The shoulder was about what you would expect here and it’s amazing how the Nasty Boys were in essence the same guys for so many years. This was nothing but a way to get a bunch of people out there though.

We talk to some suit who is president of the organization. He says the future will mean something and that’s about it. We also see the PWF Title for the first time.

Terry Funk vs. Dustin Rhodes

There’s some guy with a big sign at ringside which looks like a protest sign. It’s a pro-Dustin sign, calling him America’s Baby. Terry gets in an argument with some fan in the third row. He breaks the sign too just because he’s Terry Funk. The guy tries to get the sign back so Terry beats him up. Dustin comes out and dropkick Funk’s manager Oliver Humperdink.

Apparently this is some continuation of the Funk vs. Rhodes war which I don’t remember ever starting. I do however remember it continuing for years on end. Terry suplexes him back into the ring and the beating begins. Piledriver hits but Funk won’t cover. Dustin is a total rookie at this point so it should be a squash. An eventual cover gets two. Dustin whips him into the corner and Funk goes over the corner and to the floor.

Terry comes back and throws him to the floor as Page talks about Dusty’s loins. Dustin comes back with punches and they head inside. Back elbow gets two. There are two slams and a suplex. It’s clear Dustin has very little ring time at this point so his offense is incredibly limited. Funk punches himself in the face to wake himself up and heads to the outside again.

Dustin elbows him in the head as Funk is coming in. It’s clear that Funk’s selling is designed to make Dustin look much better than he has any right to be at this point. They brawl on the floor a bit before heading back inside for choking from Funk. He’s got something in his hands to choke with because he’s Terry Funk and therefore evil. Dustin comes up with a backdrop and a Dusty elbow to the head. Humperdink comes in with a rope, only to get beaten up. Funk chokes Dustin with the rope for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best match of the night so far and it was Dustin using the same moves over and over, which to be fair isn’t his fault. He had only debuted about six months before this so he was lucky he had someone like Funk in there that could walk him through the whole thing. Boring match but it could have been a lot worse. Rhodes had talent but he needed to get out of his dad’s shadow and get experience.

Italian Stallion and the Nasties make the save from a worse beating because Papa Rhodes was too busy I guess.

The Commandos vs. The Star Riders

No idea who any of these people are but the Commandos are big fat guys while the Riders are small guys. The fat guys jump the Riders and we start with the white Commando vs. we’ll say Rider #1. Off to the black Commando as this is comprised of a lot of clubbing on the back so far.

Back to the white one who misses a corner splash while Page implies Gordon is a cross dresser. Here’s Rider #2 and their names are apparently Rock and Blade. The black Commando is named Ray. Rider #1 is Blade. Ok then. The heels (Commandos) cheat, resulting in a double team clothesline and a splash by the white one gets the pin. This was too short to rate but it’s clear that all of these guys are REALLY green.

Terry Funk says he liked being in Hollywood but he’s back now. Oh and he won’t sleep with the interviewer woman, which is probably going to stop half of her questions. Terry wants to talk about Dusty Rhodes but the interviewer talks about Dustin. Funk wants to take away Dusty’s pride. He wants a Texas Chain Match with Dusty.

Florida State Title: Al Perez vs. Mike Graham

Mike is champion and this is No DQ for no apparent reason. Graham takes him to the mat immediately as is his custom. He hooks a leg lock and this is already boring. Perez gets out of it so Graham puts him right back into it. Al rolls to the floor before coming back in for some forearms to the back. Perez is sent to the floor and then into the post. This match is already boring, much like most of Graham’s stuff.

Back in and Perez takes over, catapulting Mike into the corner. Time for the chinlock to keep the riveting going. The match isn’t bad mind you, but it’s REALLY uninteresting. The No DQ rule hasn’t meant anything yet either. Al throws his feet on the ropes to establish that he’s a heel. Graham gets up and hits a single punch to put both guys down. Right back to the chinlock which has almost no torque on it.

This is one of those matches with nothing to talk about. The No DQ rule is probably here for the ending but it’s making the match even less interesting because you’re waiting on a brawl to break out but it’s just a boring wrestling match. Back to the chinlock for a third time which is broken up after a minute or two. They collide twice to really emphasize that they’re both down.

There goes the referee and Perez gets a chair and a shot to the arm which apparently is injured. Thanks for telling us that 10 minutes into the match guys. Graham comes back with the good arm and knocks Perez to the floor. The arm is sent into the post and Perez goes after it very slowly. Back into the ring for a key lock and they roll around on the mat for a bit with the hold on. Perez turns it into a pin and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. It was boring, there was no justification for the No DQ ruling, the rule didn’t come into play until the referee went down which made no sense and the ending was lame as the cheating could have happened with nothing at all with the arm shot. Graham is a guy that you hear good things about and while he’s technically sound, I’ve yet to see him have a good match.

Scott Hall/Steve Keirn vs. Dick Slater/Bam Bam Bigelow

Keirn has an alligator with him named Wally. Get the reference? Gordon says this is an Australian tag match, whatever that means. Bigelow and Hall start things off. Bigelow is the only one here that looks like he usually looks. Hall works on the arm and brings it’s off to Slater who takes over. Back to Bigelow who looks silly working on the arm. Monster heels go after RIBS man. RIBS. Bam Bam misses a headbutt and Hall hits a dropkick.

Off to Keirn who works on the arm as well. Slater is knocked to the floor and Keirn suplexes him back in for one. This is another boring match. Swinging neckbreker from Slater puts Keirn down but he won’t tag. I guess it’s supposed to tease tension or something. Slater drops an elbow for a delayed two. Keirn hooks a sleeper so Bigelow makes the save. Hall knocks Slater down and after about a day and a half Keirn tags him in. A quick sunset flip gets the pin. Oh and apparently Slater and Bigelow are part of Page’s stable.

Rating: D-. Scott Hall’s mustache alone keeps this from failing. Other than that there’s NOTHING here that anyone should want to see. This show continues a complete lack of being able to tell us anything about the stories leading up to the match. Bigelow and Slater are in the Diamond Exchange? Thanks for telling us that with 10 seconds left in the match. It really made the ending epic.

Slater goes after Humperdink post match but Bigelow beats down Slater.

Page is in the ring but let’s go to Gordon and whatever that interviewer chick is named. Nothing at all is said so let’s go back to the ring. The president presents the title belt to the referee. Page is ring announcing apparently.

PWF World Title: Big Steel Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Big Steel Man is Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Dusty comes out to Old Time Rock And Roll. Well at least he has good taste. Oh apparently Page is the manager of Big Steel Man. That sounds like something a 4 year old would come up with. Steel Man shoves Dusty around a lot to start. Dusty comes back with an elbow. That sequence took over a minute somehow. Dusty jumps (yes, jumps) into a bearhug two minutes into the match. This match is really looking down in a hurry.

Dusty elbows out of it and goes to the floor, only to have his shoulder rammed into the post. Back inside Steel Man works over the arm with a wristlock. The guy is 370lbs and he’s using a move that a cruiserweight could use. That’s not a compliment in this case. The arm goes into the buckle and Big Steel drops four legdrops in a row followed by a missed top rope splash. Dusty rolls over quickly and gets the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: F. OH COME ON! After this horrible show, the big star’s match for the world title isn’t even eight minutes long? There was no build at all and the ending didn’t do anything for the crowd, as they didn’t have a chance to get ready. Also, Dusty looks like a weak champion as all he did was move out of the way instead of hitting a move of his own. Horrible main event to a terrible show.

The Diamond Exchange comes in to work on Dusty’s arm. Keirn comes in and lays on Dusty to protect him instead of, you know, hitting the heels with a chair or something. Dusty gets up because his help sucks and clears the ring.

Overall Rating: F. When the only good thing there is to say about a show is that it’s relatively short, that’s a pretty sure sign that the show is horrible. The wrestling is bad, there are almost no stories in sight and there’s nothing redeeming here at all. It comes off like a really bad indy show with guys that haven’t been around for years. From what I can tell these guys were CWF/Florida Championship Wrestling guys, and if that’s the case I’m NEVER watching that company again. Horrible show.

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I’ll be doing the three Bashes in a row and then probably just doing individual shows again for awhile. It’s 1997 and the unofficial anniversary of the NWO being formed. This was in that weird period for WCW as everything was setting up for Sting vs. Hogan, but at the same time it took forever to get there because we waited 9 months between Sting’s moment of showing he was WCW and the actual match. The main event here is Luger/Giant vs. Hogan/Rodman. As in Dennis Rodman. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is Luger ranting about the NWO and how Rodman has been all mean to them and jumped them a few times.

The announcers talk a bit and apparently Page has a mystery partner for later that is either Curt Hennig, Sting or Raven.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Ernest Miller/Glacier

These four seemingly had more matches on PPV than I can count. Glacier is all ticked off to start and spears down Mortis so he can pound on him. He looks at Wrath and freezes him somehow so that Miller can hit a springboard dropkick to take the big man down. Off to Miller vs. Wrath now as we’re told Miller played for the Falcons and Patriots. I can’t find any evidence of this anywhere else and I’ve never heard of it otherwise. Why does that not shock me?

Miller fires off some kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a middle rope elbow misses. Glacier comes in and hits a double dropkick with Miller to Wrath for two. Glacier goes to the floor where Mortis beats him up a bit. Wrath hits a pretty nice running somersault off the apron to take out the ice enthusiast. He finds a chair to put against Glacier’s head so Mortis can kick the chair into Glacier’s head into the post.

Back inside now for Glacier vs. Mortis. Heenan says there’s something between these two in the past but Glacier doesn’t want to go into what it is. Wrath comes back in and they hit Beer Money’s DWI for two. ROH fans will like this as Wrath throws on a Billy Goat’s Curse and Mortis drops a leg at the same time.

Mortis misses a moonsault and Miller comes in illegally to help Glacier. Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) takes out both heels. Everything breaks down and Glacier gets a DDT to put Mortis down for a delayed too. James Vandenberg, the manager of Mortis/Wrath puts a chain on Mortis’ foot so a kick to the chest ends this for Glacier’s first loss.

Rating: B-. Better match than you would expect here and I liked it for the most part. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and he can do some interesting stuff. Wrath was shockingly good here too and is a guy I’ve always liked a little so that’s a nice perk. Also, notice how much better it is with guys to compliment the martial arts guys. You get a much better match.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

Jericho is champion. He’s a face and hasn’t been champion long. I think Dragon is also but I’m not sure. To the shock of no one they start on the mat. Neither guy can hit a kick so they lock up again. Dragon does his handstand in the corner and of course no one can touch him as he does that. There are the kicks from Dragon and he puts on a nerve hold but just for a few seconds.

Jericho counters Dragon’s offense into a double powerbomb and a senton backsplash gets two. The fans want Sting. Just another five months for that guys. Jericho works on the back before the speed things up a bit. Moonsault press gets two for the Canadian as does a tiger driver. I’m not sure what happened here but they both go up to the top and Jericho tries a dropkick which clearly misses by about 8 inches but Dragon drops to the floor anyway. The announcers say he missed it and that Dragon fell to avoid it but it looked like a botch.

Anyway Jericho hits a plancha and they go back in. A rana by Dragon out of the corner doesn’t work as he gets shoved to the floor. Jericho dives on him but gets caught by a dropkick in a cool looking shot. Snap suplex on the floor has Jericho in trouble, yet he was back in the ring first. Dragon gets him to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Back in the ring and both guys try La Magistral but can’t get the pin. They speed things way up into some pinfall reversal sequences but Jericho counters a Dragon Sleeper attempt and they both go outside. Back in again and Jericho hits a Lionsault to the back for two. Another Lionsault attempt is countered by a dropkick and Dragon tries both his finisher with no success. Muta style moonsault gets no cover for Dragon and Jericho counters a powerbomb counter into a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: C+. This was actually kind of a mess. Far more of a collection of spots than a coherent match with any form of a story or anything like that throughout it. It’s certainly good and the big spots were cool, but I’m not sure if they really had this planned out all that well. They just kind of missed here.

Gene comes to the ring to talk to Raven. He asks Raven about being DDP’s mystery partner so Raven recites a poem. Stevie Richards pops up and mentions an announcement Raven has tomorrow on Nitro, earning him a backhand slap from Raven. The announcement might have been the formation of the Flock but I’m not sure.

Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono/Great Muta

They’re NWO Japan and if the Steiners win they’re #1 contenders….again. WCW has this really annoying habit of having teams (usually the Steiners) win title shots “somewhere down the line” but they never actually got them. The Japanese dudes clear the ring rather quickly so the Steiners go up top and hit a pair of clotheslines to send the foreigners to the floor. Chono gets in an argument with some guy at ringside before we get this going.

Scott and Muta get us going. Scott pounds away and Muta is like boy please and kicks away. Steiner finally gets his butterfly powerbomb to take over and hits a gorilla press to send Muta outside again. Off to Chono and Rick, whose eyes look all freaky. Chono gets annoyed with the bug eyes and hits a SICK Mafia kick to put Rick down.

Test of strength results in a kick to Rick’s ribs and they switch off again. Scott likes to pound Muta on the back. Belly to belly superplex to Muta doesn’t work as Chono grabs an electric chair drop and Muta hits the handspring elbow to take over. Chono goes up and he winds up taking the aforementioned belly to belly to put both guys down.

Hot tag Rick who hits belly to bellies on both guys. Steiner bulldog gets two. Scott goes up as the illegal man and gets caught in a rana by Muta. Rick by in and gets caught in a leg whip by Muta but manages a suplex for two. Everything breaks down again and while Chono argues with the referee, a super DDT (Rick puts him on his shoulders so Scott can hit a DDT off the top) ends Muta.

Rating: D+. Match was another mess with no flow to it at all. The Steiners were so bored/boring by this point that it was unreal. They had beaten every team in existence and there was no one left to challenge them. Since the Outsiders were allergic to wrestling I suppose, this was just another waste of time and it was pretty clear the Steiners didn’t care at all.

Juventud Guerrera/Hector Garza/Lizmark Jr. vs. La Parka/Psicosis/Villano IV

Ready for some pointless lucha libre for the sake of only having lucha libre? Onoo is with Parka and Psicosis. This is under lucha libre rules, meaning if you go to the floor someone else on your team can come in sans tag. Lizmark and Psicosis start us off as Tenay tries to explain rudos vs. technicos. Juventud’s team is technico here. They do some speed stuff and then Villano and Garza come in because they feel like it.

Things speed up and after this point I’m really not going to try to keep track of what’s going on because the point of it is to go completely insane for awhile. Sonny tries to kick Juvy but he moves and the kick hits La Parka instead. The power of money keeps him from mauling Onoo. Psicosis misses a running dropkick and the rudo team has an argument.

Juvy hits a springboard triple splash for two and all three technicos hit stereo planchas as the referee literally ducks and covers in the corner. Juvy tries a springboard cross body but Psicosis gets something like a dropkick up to block it. They go to the corner and Psicosis gets something like a sunset bomb on steroids for two. They do some more insane stuff and Garza gets a moonsault press for two.

Everything breaks down again as some heels collide. We get the four man move called the Star that never got over in America. Basically they’re all on the mat and have leg locks on someone while two guys get in the middle and do a move. It’s WAY too contrived to look good at all. Five man Tower of Doom is broken up and everyone goes to the floor.

Lizmark is the last one out with a big dive to Villano. Air Juvy (love that move) and again I can’t keep up with this at all. Garza hits his HUGE corkscrew plancha to take out everyone else. Villiano V comes out and switches with his brother but gets caught by a missile dropkick and standing moonsault for the pin by Garza.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because from an American standpoint, it was an insane mess but from a lucha libre standpoint, I’d think it was rather good. It certainly was exciting and got the crowd going again, but at the same time this kind of stuff happened about once a PPV for WCW. This was one of the more fun ones though.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan gets some big sendoff by the announcers like he was some great guy or something.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Jeff is champion here. They both pose with the belt to waste some time. It should be noted that Jarrett is about as popular as George Wells was. If you’re saying “who?” to that name, you’re getting the point. There’s a reason he would be back in the WWF in about three months. Jarrett takes him down to start and struts to waste some more time. He is from Tennessee after all.

He wastes too much time though and walks into a Bossman Slam. Mongo takes out the knee so Jeff heads to the floor a bit longer. For some reason Jeff accepts a test of strength with a big power wrestler. What could go wrong with this? It’s pretty clear Mongo has no idea how to actually pace a match or use psychology or anything like that at all but he’s not messing up every move anymore.

Out to the floor and Mongo goes into the steps. That doesn’t seem to hurt him and Jeff goes into the railing to further injure the knee. Mongo chokes him with a cord and we head back into the ring. Weak gorilla press is followed by a powerslam for two. Mongo misses a knee in the corner and now Jeff uses a football tackle on the knee. There’s a second one and Mongo is down. He sets for the Figure Four but Debra gets up on the apron, “accidentally” gives Jarrett the case and he hits Mongo with it….in the arm. He tries again and hits him in the head for the pin to retain. Debra leaves with Jeff.

Rating: D. The lack of psychology and anything remotely resembling it hurt this a lot. Mongo would get the title in a few weeks so it’s not like this mattered that much. Jarrett and Debra would go back to the WWF soon enough so we didn’t have to put up with this feud much longer. Jarrett got better with age but at this point he wasn’t nearly as good as he’s known as today.

Hogan and Rodman say nothing of note.

Scott Hall/Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page/???

Hall is a tag champion but is teaming with Savage here because Nash is busy at a taco festival I suppose. The partner is likely either Raven, Hennig or Sting. It’s pretty clearly not going to be Sting because it would be too big of a waste for his return. Raven….probably not due to it being kind of a big jump up for him in the card. Hennig was more or less the default pick and it turns out he is in fact the partner. This is his WCW debut in the ring, because he popped up on Nitro for no apparent reason other than to make sure this wasn’t an actual shocking debut at the PPV.

Page vs. Savage starts us off which is one that’s hard to screw up based on how obsessive they were about setting up matches beforehand. Page sends him to the floor and Savage stalls some more. There’s a bunch of stuff in the ring for some reason and Savage doesn’t want to fight. Not sure what it is but the referee keeps wiping it off the mat. Off to Hall vs. Hennig now and they look at each other a lot. They go to the corner and Hennig actually gives a clean break.

Both combinations seem more interested in seeing how long they can go without actually getting into a full on match. Curt hits an atomic drop and Hall does his hop selling. Back to Page so he can hammer on Scott a bit. Page gets beaten down and it’s the NWO in control. Since it’s a match between 1996 and 1999, Page has bad ribs. Out to the floor and the beating continues. Hall gets a discus punch for two.

Back off to Savage as Page gets a right hand in. Page kind of falls down and it’s ice cold tag to Hennig. Granted the match is like seven minutes old at this point so it’s not like he was in peril long. And since this is in 1997, Hennig of course turns on Page and leaves him to the wolves known as Hall and Savage. The beating goes on for awhile and the big elbow ends it. Hennig wouldn’t officially join the NWO for a few weeks after pretending to join the Horsemen.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here as the whole thing was about going from debut to the turn (if you can actually be one way or the other after five minutes) in under ten minutes, which is pretty wasteful but they’re trying at least. Hennig would join the Horsemen soon enough and then the NWO because that’s what everyone did, minute the Horsemen part I guess.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Because the fans were BEGGING for it! WCW really doesn’t help themselves with the lack of recaps. I have no idea why most of these matches are happening and it’s totally random as to whether or not you get a recap of it. Even a quick sentence can sum up a lot of stuff. To the shock of no one, this is more of a brawl than a match. Piper beats the tar out of him to start and sends him to the floor.

Back in and Piper chops away in the corner and Flair is looking like a clueless putz. No idea if Flair is face or heel here. Piper hammers away in the corner and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Flair eats post and Piper chops away some more. I don’t think he’s done anything but punch or chop. Back in again and Flair gets a shot to the knee to take over. Figure Four goes on and Piper reverses it.

Roddy actually gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Wouldn’t have expected that one. Low blow takes the Canadiscot down and it’s back to the knee. That doesn’t work either so Piper fires off punches and kicks Flair’s leg. Out to the floor again which doesn’t last long. Back in Flair gets a jawbreaker to quickly break up a sleeper.

After a bunch of two counts Flair goes up and you know how that goes. Figure Four goes onto Flair and is broken rather quickly. Illegal object from Flair is stolen by Piper and Flair goes out. Here are the Horsemen and Piper of course outsmarts them until Mongo of all people is able to piledrive him. That only gets two and Piper Hulks Up. Sleeper ends this which is supposed to be some big deal, even though WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING.

Rating: C+. Well I can’t really say it sucked, but is there any real point in having these guys fight? It’s not a bad match and is actually kind of good, but the time hurt it as this got nearly 15 minutes and with Piper only being able to chop and punch, how good can it really get? Also, no Malenko, Guerrero or Mysterio on here, but they get 15 minutes. And people wonder why this company went out of business.

Dennis Rodman/Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

I get that Rodman was a legit big draw and at the time he was an A-list celebrity so it’s not as stupid as it sounds like now, but what does this accomplish from a storyline perspective? Oh that’s right: it keeps Hogan from having to defend the title so he can hold it even longer. Buffer says tens of millions of people are watching this around the world. Savage is out with the heels here.

Luger and Hogan start and I’d expect Hogan to wrestle more in this match than he has in the past five weeks combined. They go to the mat and it’s just ugly. We put the camera on Andrew Galotta (boxer) and Rodman’s agent for awhile. Not much contact so far as Hogan is stalling a lot, mainly because were twenty five minutes left in the show when the bell rang.

The first major contact is a shoulder block by Hogan about three minutes in. Luger hits one as well and by hits I mean you can see a good three inches between their arms. Hogan hammers him down and it’s his usual heel stuff. He asks the fans if they want Rodman to come in and it’s pretty clear Rodman is the most popular guy in the building. Hogan goes over and makes the tag and it’s time for the announcers to overhype everything like never before.

Rodman is in sunglasses here. He stalls like Larry Zbyszko dreams of and they lock up. Rodman gets an armdrag and the reaction from the announcers (the WCW ones mind you, as in the ones that HATE the NWO) makes the one when Sting won the title later in the year pale in comparison. I mean they lose their minds because Rodman hit an armdrag. Luger armdrags both guys twice and the overreaction is just stupid. Have these guys never seen a Ricky Steamboat match? This is proving why the match is stupid, right here.

A leapfrog and a shoulder block by Rodman (meaning a basketball player is capable of jumping and leaning his arm forward) are hailed as “flashes of brilliance” by Tony. The guys on Tough Enough have flashes of brilliance in their second episode then. A single clothesline sends Rodman looking for a nurse and it’s off to Giant vs. Hogan. They proceed to do a basic Nitro match for a few minutes as no one cares with no Rodman in there.

Rodman offers to come in and fight the Giant and plays face because he doesn’t know any better. He tries more leapfrogs and then we realize that it’s stupid to try to jump over a guy called THE GIANT. Heenan loses his mind because his apparently new sexual object of desire known as Rodman is in trouble. If you were new to this product and heard the commentators, you would swear Hogan and Rodman were the good guys.

Hogan and Rodman get a double clothesline to Giant and Rodman breaks up Hogan’s pin attempt for some reason. Hot (and unseen) tag brings in Luger but Hogan takes him down pretty easily. Savage interferes and this is rapidly getting boring. There’s the legdrop for two and ZERO reaction from the crowd and announcers. This is the Hulk Hogan legdrop and it got no reaction. Maybe Hogan should try a leapfrog. Actually that would get a reaction.

Back off to Rodman as this slows down even more. There’s the foot choke in the corner which gets a bigger reaction than the Hogan legdrop. Another unseen tag brings in Giant but this one doesn’t count for some reason. Giant comes in anyway and here’s Not Sting. He hits Giant with the bat and everyone thinks he’s NWO. Pay no attention to the fact that he’s maybe an inch shorter than Giant and comes in over the top rope. Hogan accidentally hits Rodman and the Rack ends Hogan finally.

Rating: F+. Totally awful main event but the announcers overreacting is pretty funny stuff. In short, Rodman isn’t a wrestler so he’s not really at fault here. I mean, would you turn down probably a minimum of six figures for twenty minutes of “work”? He just took a check and did his thing out there to a huge reaction. That being said, this proves nothing and the whole thing was just a mess because we had to protect Rodman (again not his fault).

Luger Racks Rodman and Savage post match.

Overall Rating: D. This was a hard one to grade. It’s certainly a low level show and that needs to be kept in mind. This show wasn’t about having a good show but rather having a big buyrate due to Rodman. It’s definitely not the worst show ever but it shows a lot of what’s coming for WCW and how things would start falling apart. They clearly weren’t trying that much here and they wouldn’t do much next month either because it was in front of a bunch of drunk bikers. Bad show, but for different reasons than usual.

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Kind of just a filler show here as I felt like doing a modern one rather than more of the same stuff that I’d been doing. This is a year and two days old so it’s still relatively recent. This is one of those cards where everything is a gimmick match which is fine. The main event is Hardy vs. Edge in a ladder match so that should be fine. We also get Batista vs. Orton in a cage. I can live with that I guess. The card looks ok so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of all the guys and talking about how extreme this is. It’s a fairly weak video but it gets the point over, or at least I guess it does.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

Show says instead of asking him for his strategy, you should ask Cena for his strategy.

We recap Jericho trying to rip Rey’s mask off on Smackdown. Him dressing as a Rey fan was really smart actually.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This was one of the matches that brought credibility back to the belt. Rey is defending here. Jericho’s voice says he’s not there but up here, which is at the merchandise stand. He says Mysterio is encouraging deception by having WWE sell the masks. He does the walking to the ring through the crowd promo which is always awesome. This was when Jericho was still just completely amazing with this gimmick and even I was loving him.

Jericho wants Rey’s mask. These two tore the world apart with great matches so this should be great. Both guys know about 100 styles and can mix them up really well so I’m looking forward to this. Actually I’m not as it’s started so I’m looking at it but with a happy grin I guess. Oh and this is no holds barred for the gimmick. We start on the floor with Rey throwing pieces of a table at Jericho. They’re going at a fast pace here which is very clearly working for them.

This is one of those matches that is hard to make jokes about because you know it’s going to be good. Rey hits a nice plancha from the top to the floor. JR says Rey is being aggressive. That’s true I suppose. Actually yeah it is true. It’s strange to see Jericho being the bigger guy. We get some decent talking about the customs and traditions associated with the mask in Lucha Libre, which is very interesting stuff when someone like Tenay talks about it.

When Grisham talks about it he sounds like someone giving a high school presentation. Rey takes a Gordbuster on the floor. Dang that would have hurt. Jericho goes for the mask and you get a perfectly clean shot of Rey’s face. Ah never mind. I didn’t realize I had flipped over to a WCW show where he didn’t have it on for a long time. You get a good face shot here too but this one was less intentional I think. A really good suicide dive takes Jericho out as this has been high impact and back and forth.

What more can you ask for? The fans are appreciative of this too which always makes me smile. Jericho gets a spinning rack thing for a long two. Lionsault of course misses and Rey gets the 619. He jumps into a Codebreaker though and we’re about at even. The looks Jericho does are great. Jericho has a chair. Maybe he wants to give Rey a lap dance. Oh I forgot this was no holds barred. That explains the lack of a DQ for the chair use from both guys.

Rey sets up the chair and gets a running start but is caught in the Walls. Somehow he gets the chair and drills Jericho. Nice shot too. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho manages to pull the mask off. Since Rey is desperately covering his face, the rollup by Jericho ends it.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with them going back and forth with all kinds of stuff. The chair played a very limited role which makes the stipulation fairly pointless, but still this match worked so well that I can’t complain. It’s not like it didn’t get used at all so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. This match was great though as it turns out that when you put two guys in the ring and let them just go, things turn out well.

Ad for the Randy Savage DVD.

Josh Matthews is with Batista. We see a video from Monday where Orton and Legacy beat up Flair in a “fight” and punted him. Big Dave says Orton won’t be able to do that to him tonight. This is supposed to be big and dramatic and it just isn’t at all.

CM Punk vs. Umaga

This was a fairly weak mini feud that saw Umaga just destroy Punk at every time. Punk has MITB here and has been trying to cash it in for awhile but Umaga keeps stopping him. Oh and this is a Samoan Strap Match. Why do I not picture a lot of straps in Samoa? They’ll be tied at the wrist here and I think you win by pinfall or submission. There was never any real justification for Umaga to beat the heck out of Punk like he did but whatever.

I guess you could go with he’s a savage. I guess this is the four corner style. Blast it. There is however a helpful graphic in the corner saying how many you have in a row with Punk in green and Umaga in red. Still though I’ve never gotten a clear definition of what in succession means. I know what succession means but often times they just seemingly go with what fits best for the rules at the time. Umaga works on Punk’s arm as this match is just kind of odd.

Not sure why it is but it comes off as most odd to me. With Punk on the floor Umaga gets two buckles but instead of getting the third he goes for Punk. I didn’t know Samoans were such idiots. Aww Punk went for the GTS. That’s so cute. Grisham says Punk was undaunted. What does it mean to be daunted?

I’ve never heard of anyone being daunted but just undaunted. Fans are very behind Punk. Punk gets three but charges at Umaga instead and gets drilled. Well he deserves it for being stupid. Umaga gets three but Punk gets him to charge at him like a bull and Umaga goes to the floor. This is getting fairly repetitive.

Umaga gets pulled off the top and crashes to the mat. Punk gets three and with Umaga pulling away from him, for no explained reason at all, Umaga charges at him and gets caught in GTS so Punk can win. Ending was just stupid looking on Umaga’s part.

Rating: D. These matches were never very good and this is no exception. Also, there were far too many stupid moments here, mainly the ending. I love Punk, but this was just an incredibly pointless feud and thankfully this is the last one between them. Keep an eye on Punk though. He’s going places.

Gregory Helms is with Christian and he says that Dreamer and Swagger will lose tonight. Dreamer says Christian will lose. Swagger comes up and says they’ll both lose. Ok then.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

They come off as two guys that would get booed out of the building for some reason. Look at the size of the belt. It’s freaking huge and looks like a bad toy. Dreamer has a massive celebration and you can tell that he’s loving it and that it’s a huge deal, but you can see ECW’s already dead body just rotting away here and even me, someone that didn’t get into ECW until the last year or so when it was a shell of itself, can tell this isn’t meaning anything at all.

Look at the next segment: Vickie preparing to defend the title of Miss Wrestlemania against a guy in drag in a hog pen match. The soul of ECW is dead, and to top it off Dreamer would lose the belt in Philadelphia to Christian two PPVs later. It actually makes me sad.

So anyway, Vickie is training for her hog pen match while Chavo makes pig noises and is wearing a pig nose. Let’s get this over with.

Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Please, make this go quick. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing of the year and it needs to end. Lawler is the host for this or something. You have to get the pin in the pen, which has hogs in it. Please just get this going as they talk forever first. Chavo is her partner and it’s 2-1. She throws mud at Chavo who is in street clothes and he beats her up.

So they’re in a mud pen and have to be thrown into the other one and then pinned. Oh wait they can come back out of the one with the pigs and get pinned in the bigger one. Vickie comes in and Chavo accidentally slops her….shoulder. Santina pins her and this is thankfully over. Vickie and Chavo fight in the mud as Cole and Lawler are laughing, likely by Vince’s orders. Santina celebrates forever as this segment has gone on longer than all but one match so far.

Rating: N/A. Give me a match and I’ll rate it.

Ad for Summerslam, which was a good show if I remember correctly. After checking the review for it which can easily be accessed by using the Table of Contents thread on the top of the Old School Reviews section, I was right as I gave it an A-.

We recap Batista vs. Orton, which was of course about Flair. I was there for the announcement of the cage match on a Raw that completely sucked. Flair was really annoying at this point as even Orton asked him if he was retired or not. Flair got punted and I think never came back.

Goldust and Horny make fun of Vickie and Chavo. Edge is sitting in Vickie’s office and Edge makes fun of her. They’re still married but they’re arguing here. Edge says they’re getting a divorce.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista

This is a cage match. Orton has been really evil lately and Batista is mad at him for kicking Flair, even though a lot of people are glad about it. Batista gets a very solid face pop. Orton is dangling from the top of the cage less than 30 seconds in. Well at least they’re not wasting time. Basically Orton is running for his life here but Batista keeps catching him.

In less than three minutes, Orton has almost been out three times. I sense a theme. Four times in three and a half minutes. Well at least he’s consistent. It amazes me how evil he can be at this point and how over he is a year later. Orton throws him into the cage and everyone is tired like 5 minutes into this. I get that the cage is deadly but come on now people. Punt misses and Orton runs again.

Batista Bomb and RKO are countered but the Bomb hits and gets three in SEVEN FREAKING MINUTES??? Yes, this match is over in just barely over seven minutes. WHAT THE HECK? Well it would turn out that Batista had a torn bicep and he would vacate the belt on Tuesday. The following Monday Orton would win it back in a match on Raw, making this title change, say it with me, TOTALLY POINTLESS!

Rating: F+. Seriously, I’ve seen longer cage matches at house shows. I get that the match was booked and had to be all short and stuff, but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. This was just bad all around, mainly due to it being way too short and like half of it being Orton trying to run. You could tell something was up here though so I guess it makes sense.

We recap Big Show vs. Cena. In essence, it’s just that Show is too big to get the STF on so we’re having a submission match so that Cena can look great in winning.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Ok so there’s an hour left in the show and we have two matches left. That’s not a good sign. We get a quick ad for the Bash which is a really good show if I remember correctly. Cena’s arms are freaking scary looking here. Cena goes for the leg which makes sense but it only works twice. Show’s finisher is the Colossal Clutch which is the reverse chinlock that looks like it would hurt bad.

Does Cole have Show’s shoe size tattooed into his memory or something? He mentions it in every match Show is in it feels like. In a nice looking spot, Cena goes for a bulldog and Show just pushes him out of the ring. That looked awesome. The flying shoulder doesn’t work at all which is a great visual.

This match is pretty boring. The audio on the commentary goes way down in volume which is always fun. Show goes for a full nelson. Who is nelson that he gets like three moves named after him? This is going SO slow and it’s rather annoying. Cena gets a sleeper which is smart. At least he’s thinking.

It’s actually more like a choke but whatever. It amazes me that a guy can manage to be strangled for about 45 seconds by a guy that is ridiculously strong and still be, you know, alive. Show hits the Alley-Oop which is just awesome every time I see it. Again, this is a rather boring match. Now Show is working on the back and ribs. Could this match be any more paint by numbers? This match is just crawling by with nothing of interest at all going on.

Show pulls on Cena’s neck which works on his back somehow but never actually goes for a hold. Crowd isn’t dead but they’re rather sick. Vader Bomb misses. Cena can’t slam him. I want this to end. Is Show hugging him? It’s not a bad hold I guess but it’s boring. Cena is on the floor and nothing of note is happening.

It’s just them plodding around filling time. Maybe if they gave the opener more than 6 minutes this could have been shorter and therefore watchable. We’ve probably spent 5 minutes just standing around with Show looking down at Cena. Oh look it’s an abdominal stretch. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT and AGAIN he can’t hook the STFU. Cole says Cena is showing signs of life. I guess that means besides the whole walking, breathing, moving and looking around.

Hey, let’s have a bearhug now since that’s oh so riveting. Cena hits the FU but can’t get the STFU. The Knockout Punch hits. Can we watch a Knockouts match instead? Cena hits the top rope Fameasser and we get to the really stupid ending as Cena ties Show’s leg in the rope and hooks the STFU that was.

The problem is Show’s leg COMES UNDONE so it’s just a crossface. And there’s the tap, thank goodness. Cole saying Cena has done another miracle sums things up pretty well I’d say. You know, because I just said it.

Rating: F+. Oh sweet goodness this was bad. I have never been so bored in a match, and somehow that’s not an exaggeration. This was just painfully boring as NOTHING happens for about half of this match which went like twenty minutes. Just terribly boring and while the ending was creative, the botch made things just look awful.

Edge and Hardy get the big long video. This felt like a big match and with Edge saying something like Hardy makes highlight reels but Edge wins world titles, I was excited for this one.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

There must be 15 ladders around the ring and the aisle. Of course Roberts tells us that this is a ladder match since we never could have figured that one out on our own. Edge is champion here. Hardy really was a big deal back then. Wow a year ago is now considered back then. That’s odd to hear. Seriously, how weird is it to see Jeff Hardy vs. Edge in the main event of a pay per view?

This crowd has been DEAD all night and it’s rather annoying me. Why is a running shoulder in the corner different than a spear? And to anyone thinking “because it’s in a corner”, shut up. Jeff goes for a small ladder but it goes into his ribs.

Ross reminds us that the ladders aren’t going to give, even though these two were the first people to break one of them at MITB earlier in this year I believe. Or was that a year before? Does it matter? It was more than a week ago so it’s fair game as far as erasing it goes. Ok so it’s a spear when there’s a ladder between Hardy and the corner but not when there’s no ladder? Sure why not.

Edge smashes Jeff’s leg in between a ladder and then hooks a Sharpshooter while Hardy is lying on the ladder. Hardy actually taps which is surprising if nothing else. I love the spots where the ladder is knocked out from under someone. Those are always awesome looking. In a NICE spot, Edge takes a gordbuster onto an inverted ladder on the parts that spread out to brace the ladder. FREAKING OW!

It’s big ladder time now and Jeff gets on top of it and tries to lean it over so it’ll fall and he’ll be able to grab the belt. Well that’s original at least I guess. It never ceases to amaze me when people pull out new spots with the ladders like Kofi and the stilts at Mania this year. It works to an extent but Edge makes the save.

Ross says he jerks him down which is a better description than when he said Lita jerked Edge off at Mania X7. Jeff lands on his leg so that’s hurt now. And of course he hits Whisper in the Wind off the ladder just after that. We’re on the floor now with a ladder set up between the railing and the ring like a bridge if you know what I mean. Jeff gets launched into the front row. Ross says he went sailing. There’s a funny skit with Hardy as a sailor in there somewhere.

Edge is set on the ladder that was a bridge and Hardy climbs up another one. Edge gets up and climbs Hardy’s ladder and yep they both go through the ladder “that won’t give a bit”. As in the ladder is broken and bent and stuff. And there goes the referee once we’re back in the ring. Ah there’s another one. That’s better.

Jeff climbs the big one in the middle of the ring and Edge climbs one in the corner. Edge goes for the big spear like at Mania X7 but Hardy catches him in a Diamond Cutter (called a Twist of Fate but I can live with that one). They’re both on the big ladder and fight it out up there but Hardy drops down and in a brilliant spot pulls Edge down THROUGH the rungs of the ladder so that his arms are the only things stopping him from going down to the mat. That’s enough for Hardy to win it.

Rating: B+. Very solid main event here with the two masters of the ladder match doing what they do best and making it seem like a big deal. Not sure what but it was missing something from making it a classic, but it’s still great. These two have insane chemistry together and this is no exception. Great match and nearly a great way to close the show. I say nearly because the show isn’t quite over yet.

JR goes into the ring to talk to Hardy…..AND CUE PUNK’S MUSIC! It’s time for an MITB CASH IN!

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy can’t even stand up and there’s the GTS for 2. Punk’s heat is molten here as no one likes this other than me. I fell asleep during the ladder match when this aired and woke up to hear Hardy win. I closed my eyes again and heard Punk’s music. I FREAKED. A second GTS gives Punk the title.

I won’t bother with a rating obviously, but the first thirty seconds here were obviously harkening back to Gotch vs. Hackenschmidt but over the next fifteen seconds they really let things go as it turned very sloppy. The last 15 seconds saved it though as they were clearly channeling Steamboat and Flair other than about 2 seconds in the middle there. Punk’s current heel persona would kind of debut next month.

Overall Rating: D+. While there are two great matches on here, after that it just has nothing. And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING. The problem is that there’s a difference between being just a waste of time and being a bad waste of time. This would be the latter. Other than the IC and ladder matches, there is NOTHING here.

The problem with the IC match is the rematch next month is even better, so there is absolutely no reason to see this show. Punk’s first cash in was far better too, so there is just nothing of note here. The ladder match is good, but it certainly doesn’t save the show. Not recommended at all, but the IC match and ladder match are worth seeing if you’re bored.

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This is the last USWA show that I have at the moment but hopefully that’ll change in the near future. These shows have been really entertaining and there are some people coming in that I’d really like to see. Lawler and Jarrett won the tag titles on Monday over the Fabulous Ones so I’m sure we’ll talk about that a lot today. Let’s get to it.

Eric Embry is here today as is Eddie Gilbert. I haven’t seen them in awhile.

Tom Pritchard vs. Jerry Lynn

Jamie Dundee is refereeing and he pulls Pritchard’s arm to prevent him from throwing a punch. Pritchard is a doctor because he’s a psychologist in the ring. It’s about time they explained that name. Pritchard controls to start with some very basic stuff, getting two off a suplex. Sunset flip and small package get two each for Lynn. The referee gets knocked down but wakes up quickly enough to count a pin by Pritchard while his feet are on the ropes. I smell shenanigans. Too short to rate but this was fine.

We see the tag title match from Monday which was a total brawl. Cornette had powder but Fargo knocked it back into his face. Lane was going to hit him with the racket but Keirn made the save, allowing Jarrett to hit a dropkick for the titles. Post match Eddie Gilbert returned and beat down the new champions to try to collect the bounty. Lawler got up and beat up Gilbert. They went into the crowd and Gilbert threw a fireball at Lawler.

We get a clip from the dressing room with Lawler being interviewed about Gilbert. Lawler says that Eddie Gilbert and the Fabulous Ones were in it together all along and split Funk’s bounty money. There’s nothing Gilbert can do to get rid of Lawler no matter how much he tries. Eddie shows up but a suit says if Gilbert doesn’t leave he’ll be arrested. Gilbert yells into the camera that no one knows where he’s been and this is his town now.

Eric Embry vs. Cody Michaels

I thought we got rid of Embry. Embry takes him to the mat with ease but gets backdropped. They go to the mat and Eric punches him into the corner. They collide and Eric drops a headbutt for a pin even though Michaels was in the ropes. Dundee was the referee again.

Here’s Jerry in a suit and tie. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. He talks about going to someone’s house that you don’t know that well and they have a small dog. The dog might nip at your heels when your back is to them but when you look at them, they run and hide. The fire only burned his shoulder apparently. Here’s Gilbert and it’s on. They turn over the desk and Lawler loses his suit jacket. The locker room empties out to tear them apart.

Mid-South ad. Jeff Jarrett is defending against a guy whose name I won’t say because he’ll be here later in the show.

Actually that challenger is here now. He’s been named Rookie of the Year by PWI and says that things are going well for him and his girl. Here’s his match.

Danny Davis vs. Steve Austin

His girl is named Jeannie, who is more famous as Lady Blossom, whose chest is probably bigger than Trish Stratus’. Jamie Dundee is refereeing again and doesn’t see a quick sunset flip by Davis. Austin works the arm and pulls Davis’ hair but denies it to the referee. Davis backslides him but Jamie is over with Jeannie again. Into the ropes and Austin hits the Stun Gun (not named yet) but Davis has his feet on the ropes.

It’s so weird seeing Austin with shoulder length blonde hair and flower shorts. Small package has the same result for Davis as the other two. Austin charges into the post and Davis hits the neckbreaker, but Dundee turns away to talk to Jeannie. Eddie Marlon, the boss, comes out and stops the match with no winner declared.

Rating: C. This was way more about the angle with Dundee than the match, but it’s always cool to see a future legend out here when he’s first starting out. Austin had the fire in him and was ok in the ring, but he was far from the awesome level that he would become. It’s amazing to think that in four months he would be WCW TV Champion. They had some good scouts in that company.

Marlon and Dundee argue a lot and Dundee says that Max Andrews, I think the owner of the place, hired him so Marlon can’t fire him. No he can’t, but he can take him off the job. Bill Dundee (Jamie’s dad) comes out and says that Jamie is going to quit rather than be fired. Bill yells at him and Jamie says he’s not quitting. Jamie says that he doesn’t live with his dad anymore so it’s not his rules. That’s why Jamie’s mom left too: Bill had to have it his way. Bill pulls the belt off Eddie and whips his son with it. That’s awesome.

Here’s Gilbert for an interview where he says that he doesn’t care about what anyone says: he wants Lawler to look him in the eye and get out of his way so that he can have his time in the spotlight. Here’s Lawler and they’re at it again. It’s broken up just as quick.

New Kids/Bill Dundee vs. Uptown Connection

That’s the Lee/Doug Gilbert/White Boy team’s name now. Eddie Marlon is refereeing because Dundee got fired. Tom Pritchard comes out to ask when he gets an interview and is mad when he finds out he’s not on the schedule. The New Kids dropkick down everyone so White Boy brings in a chair. He drops it on the floor as the announcers try to throw Pritchard out.

Christopher and Gilbert start but it’s quickly off to Anthony and then back to Lee. Lee drops Christopher across the top rope and it’s off to Gilbert. More pounding follows and it’s White Boy in. He gets rolled up for two and it’s back to Lee. The Uptown guys tag in and out very fast, which is a recurring idea in the USWA. Everything breaks down and Marlon goes down, so the locker room all comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. The match was nothing of note here and the referee didn’t mean a thing until the very end. The post match stuff which we’ll get to in a moment was a lot more interesting, which is the usual case in this company. The Uptown Connection just wasn’t that interesting, but they served well as the heel team.

Bruno chokes Marlon while Jamie comes out and whips his dad with a belt. The US Males and some other guys come in for the save.

Mid-South stuff.

We get a clip from Monday with Chris Walker (who has a small chance at being Renegade from WCW. His last name was Walker and they look almost identical) vs. Pritchard. Walker was throwing him around when Gilbert and Anthony came in for the DQ, only to be saved by US Male.

The US Males come out and say exactly what you would expect them to say about Gilbert and Anthony.

Jarrett comes up and talks about his upcoming title match with Austin. He’s still REALLY bad at talking. Here he seems to advocate domestic violence against Jeannie, who used to be married to Chris Adams. Cue Jeannie who says Jeff wouldn’t know a lady if one was standing in front of him. She slaps Jeff so Jeff takes his jacket off and grabs her wrist as she tries another slap. Cue Austin for the required brawl. They go into the ring and Austin clotheslines him down but Jeff punches him to the floor.

Sgt. O’Reilly/Keith Eric/Eli The Eliminator vs. US Males/Jeff Jarrett

Marlon is refereeing again. Walker vs. Eric to start us off but it’s quickly off to the other Male. Jarrett in now as the quick tagging continues here. Eli comes in and pounds on Jeff, including one of the weakest slams I can remember in a long time. Legdrop gets two. Sarge comes in and just like every other time he’s been in the ring, things go badly for him. Back to Thompson (the other Male whose name I couldn’t remember earlier) who gets two as Eric has to make the save. Jarrett works the arm and it’s back to Walker again. Things break down and it finally ends with a top rope Jarrett cross body to Sarge.

Rating: D. This was really boring as it was in essence a squash. It only ran four and a half minutes but it felt about three times that, which is never a good sign. Jeff had it in the ring but he really didn’t click in full for a few more years. Granted being Simply Irresistible didn’t help him that much.

The announcers wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D+. I really didn’t like this show that well. That being said, there was a huge angle going here with Gilbert vs. Lawler and the Austin match is exciting, but it just wasn’t that interesting overall. The six man tags were pretty boring but maybe it’s because you see the same guys every week. In essence, the big stuff is good but the lower stuff is weak.

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After Monday’s show, the tag titles are vacant. There was some kind of a controversial finish in the Fabs vs. Lawler/Jarrett and we’ll have a rematch two days after this show. Gee, I wonder if they’ll have Lawler talk a lot about it here. I’ve been enjoying these shows as they fly by pretty fast and Lawler is awesome at this point. Let’s get to it.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony dropkicks Stan down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Miller is kicked down by Stan Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Lawler makes the save post match.

After a break Lawler says he’ll be at a sporting goods store today so come see him and get some free stuff. We get a clip from the tag title match on Monday where the Fabulous Ones cheated to hit three piledrivers on Jarrett. Lawler finally got the hot tag and cleaned house. The referee went down and Lane took a piledriver. Jamie Dundee, future wrestler but current referee, comes in to call for the DQ as the regular referee was waking up to count the fall.

Lawler says the titles are being held up and Dundee will be in their corner for the rematch on Monday. Also the special guest referee will be Jackie Fargo. That’s a huge deal. Lawler talks about the history with Fargo who mentored all three of them (Lawler and Fabs) and how the Fabs are nothing to be proud of now that they’re with Cornette. Solid promo here from Lawler.

Video on Jackie Fargo and his influence on the Fabs. This includes a clip from 1982 with Fargo saying if the Fabs ever changed their attitudes, he’d leave them.

Cornette talks about how the deck is stacked up against them because there’s no other way for Lawler to beat them. He says that after they get the titles, they’ll take out Fargo. That’s crossing the line to the Fabs and Keirn rips into him. They leave and Cornette is panicking.

Mid-South show ad.

US Male Curtis Thompson (a mailman) says he doesn’t want to be with Robert Fuller anymore. Neither does his new partner, who is named Chris Walker.

US Males vs. Bill Rush/Sgt. O’Reilly

So one of the guys is named US Male and the team is the US Males? So Walker doesn’t mean much at all here does he? Walker and the Sarge start and it’s off to the mailman quickly. Thompson slams him a few times so it’s time for Rush. A gorilla press gets about 10 reps and a suplex/cross body combination gets the quick pin.

Uptown Bruno’s boys run their mouths for a bit.

Brian Lee/Doug Gilbert/Dirty White Boy vs. Freezer Thompson/TD Steel/Night Train Jackson

White Boy and Thompson start us off and all of the heels get slammed. The first thirty seconds of this has Bruno saying one LONG sentence. Jackson has a pretty awesome name. Freezer gets taken down and it’s finally off to Steel. Jackson comes in and is immediately triple teamed and pinned. Squash here.

House show ads.

Lawler introduces some guys from the sporting goods store that he’ll be at later today.

We meet a new team called the Eliminators. One is in a mask and the other isn’t Kronus. The guy in the mask talks and that’s not Saturn so these are different Eliminators.

Eliminators vs. Keith Eric/Chris Frazier

The Eliminators go crazy and it’s a wild beating before the bell. We start with the masked one vs. Frazier with the latter being quickly thrown to the outside. Frazier gets thrown into the corner and a double team sets up a kind of top rope cross body/shoulder block for the pin. Total squash.

Mid-South show ads.

Cornette brings out the Fabs again and it’s the same thing again: Keirn will not jump Fargo, period. Since the last time they were here, a kid asked him to do anything but hurt Jackie. Keirn says he won’t fight Jackie no matter what and leaves. Cornette is freaking out and says they’ll win anyway because they’re awesome.

Tom Pritchard and Terry Garvin are here with Uptown Bruno and say they’re awesome, but they don’t want to be in Memphis. They support Funk, not Lawler and Dundee. Pritchard wants Jarrett’s Southern Heavyweight Title. Garvin says he’s a barber and is going to cut hair starting today. He says Danny Davis gets his blonde hair from peroxide, not his mama’s side or his daddy’s side.

Tom Pritchard/Terry Garvin vs. Danny Davis/Jerry Lynn

Pritchard and Davis start things off and that goes nowhere. Double tag to Lynn and Garvin and they run the ropes. Garvin hurts his knee on a leapfrog but he’s goldbricking. Lynn hits a king of tilt-a-whirl to take him back down and it’s back to Davis. His neckbreaker gets two and everything breaks down. Bruno sprays something on a towel and runs in to smother Davis with it, drawing a quick DQ.

Both guys are knocked out by the ether rag and Davis almost gets a haircut but the save is made.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show as the stuff about Jackie was really interesting and a nice touch to add to the story. It makes this feel like a much bigger match rather than just another match where the tag titles are up for grabs. That’s really been missing from the shows so it’s nice to see them add it in. Good stuff.

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Back to Memphis and the continuing saga of Lawler vs. an old tag team. I’ve got three episodes in a row of this which I’m going to run through before moving on to something else. At the moment that’s all I’ve got but I’m pretty sure more will be coming later on. Things have been going well with this show so far so maybe it’ll stay that way. Let’s get to it.

After the opening video, Brown runs down the card.

Downtown Bruno is now Uptown Bruno and wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. He and Terry Garvin say it’s a new time now when Lawler comes out and rolls his eyes. He gets in a few wise cracks and we’re ready to go.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Garvin

Uptown Bruno runs his mouth for awhile on commentary as the stalling is going on. We’re a minute in and there hasn’t been any contact. Ok there’s a lockup so we’re really going now. A right hand puts Garvin on the floor and he yells at the fans a bit. Garvin wants to box and Lawler is fine with it, so Garvin runs again. Back in Garvin charges into a boot in the corner. They’re averaging a strike a minute so far.

Bruno slips Garvin a chain and a pair of shots with it puts Lawler down. Piledriver further kills the King and Bruno chokes a bit. A third chain shot puts him down but Lawler pulls the strap down. He punches Garvin into the ropes and calls for something. Someone throws a pair of scissors in and the chase is on. Garvin runs out for the countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here as the majority of it was brawling. That’s Memphis 101 though: they’ve very much into a simpler style but it works pretty well as far as a crowd reaction. Stuff like trying to cut someone’s hair is an act of war and a non-existent chain is all you need to send the crowd into a frenzy. It’s the polar opposite of Raw and to an extent it really works.

We see the clip from a few weeks ago where the Fabs turned on Lawler.

We get a clip from the Mid-South Coliseum of the first big match between Lawler/Dundee vs. the Fabulous Ones. Jarrett came in to take out Cornette but it let Keirn hit Lawler with the racket for two. Dundee went off on everyone with the racket for the DQ but the Fabs got it and it was a big beatdown. Jarrett finally got back up and saved them.

Dundee says that the Fabs are Cornette’s puppets and that he’s injured. He’ll be back despite the injuries he got in the tag match we just saw.

Cornette and the Fabs say they’re not here tonight and they’re mad because they didn’t get a dime off Funk (the world champion who hasn’t been on TV in a month, which is normal) for Dundee but if Lawler/Jarrett want to come after the titles, bring it on.

Lawler says Cornette and the Fabs have to win matches with something other than their mouths. He says that everyone from Hogan to Savage to Funk has tried to put him out but he’s still here. Jarrett and Lawler are taking the belts on Monday.

Mid-South show ad, which is going to include a Rumble Royal, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Jarrett says that the Fabs used to be awesome when Fabulous Jackie Fargo groomed them but now they’re controlled by a leech named Jim Cornette. Apparently Lane had a big hand in training Jarrett. Jeff is REALLY bad on the mic here. Lawler was groomed by Fargo as well but he actually did what Fargo said and he’s still around. That’s one of the big points of this match.

Rumble Royal ad.

Freezer Thompson/TD Steel vs. Jeff Gaylord/Brian Lee

Gaylord and Steel start us off. Gaylord is a muscle guy and his team is managed by Bruno. Steel looks to be a karate guy but he gets clotheslined down pretty quickly. Off to Lee who beats up Steel and then beats up Thompson. There isn’t much to talk about here other than how fat Thompson is. The idea here is that Thompson is fat but the heel team can pick him up a lot. Interesting no? Back to Steel and Gaylord sets him for a Sharpshooter but instead of turning him over, Gaylord leans forward for a pin. That’s a new one.

House show ads. Lawler plugs his stretcher match in Arkansas with Garvin.

Cody Michaels/Jerry Lynn vs. Sgt. O’Reilly/Bill Rush

A backdrop pins Rush in 17 seconds. There was even a tag in there too.

The winners go for an interview when Bruno interrupts them. It’s a distraction so that Doug Gilbert and the Dirty White Boy can come in for the double beatdown. They hammer on Lynn/Michaels for a bit until Lawler and the New Kids make the save.

Video of Jarrett.

Mid-South show ad. Gaylord and Lee say they’re looking forward to the Rumble Royal.

Danny Davis talks about Sadaam Hussein and the Patriot Missiles. Oh and he’ll beat up Brian Lee in Arkansas.

Danny Davis vs. Ronnie Leech

How would you like to grow up with the name Ronnie Leech? Davis controls the arm but gets rammed into the corner by some shoulders. Floatover suplex gets two for Danny. Neckbreaker ends this quick.

Sgt. O’Reilly/Doug Gilbert/Dirty White Boy vs. New Kids/Ben Jordan

The Sarge is replacing Downtown Bruno who was supposed to be in there. Bruno says Downtown Bruno is gone because Uptown Bruno is here. Cheap but acceptable I guess. Brian Christopher takes both guys down with dropkicks and the heels have a huddle outside. We get Anthony vs. Tony of the New Kids and the ring is cleared again. Back to Christopher and then off to Jordan vs. Gilbert. A blind tag to Anthony (Tony Anthony is Dirty White Boy) allows the double teaming to begin on Tony Michaels. After a few more minutes of the beating, Lynn and Cody Michaels run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but at least they paid off the angle from earlier in the night. Christopher would turn heel later in the year and finally get to the successful part of his career. Other than that though, there wasn’t much to see here, other than the Dirty White Boy whose name is always worth a chuckle.

A brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It wasn’t a great show by any stretch of the imagination, but they set up a major show on Monday night which is the main idea of their TV show. The wrestling left a lot to be desired but there was a lot of action and a lot of angles were advanced, which is really all you can ask for on a show like this. Decent but nothing great.

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Another WZ milestone related to this show as the day after this, I joined the forum staff. Anyway, this is the final No Mercy show and it’s also the blowoff to Shawn vs. Jericho with a ladder match for the title. Other than that we also have HHH vs. Jeff Hardy in what is likely going to be another in their great series of matches. After this it’s off to Backlash. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like something from the 50s which then transitions into color and a video about the main matches. I don’t get that one.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending. Tony Atlas almost trips over the ropes coming in. This gets big match intros which is a nice touch that makes it feel like an important match. Matt tries a headlock and that completely fails. Mark runs him over and punches him down before sending him into the corner. Matt finally escapes for a bit and tries a chop block. It gives him a few seconds to breathe but Henry clotheslines his head off.

Hardy goes back to the knees and they go to the floor. Henry shrugs Matt off but the champ goes back to the knee. Figure Four is countered and Henry uses the good foot for a big boot, getting two. A bottom rope Banzai Drop gets the same. Matt tries to punch back but jumps into a bearhug. Hardy quickly climbs up Henry and tries a sunset flip.

Henry blocks it but he hits the mat when he tries to sit on the champ. Side Effect gets two and the place ERUPTS. Twist of Fate is countered and the place quiets in a hurry. Splash gets a delayed two. Twist is countered into the Slam but Matt punches the knee and the Twist hits to retain.

Rating: B-. I’m stunned by the crowd reaction to this as you would think it was the main event of a major show. The place was going nuts on almost everything Hardy did like I haven’t heard since the Hardy Boys days. The David vs. Goliath stuff worked very well here as these two always had some chemistry together.

HHH and Hardy are brought together in the back and HHH says Jeff is only going to win the mobile text popularity poll. He’ll be rooting for Jeff in the match tonight. Hardy says worry about him, not texting. HHH says he wants Jeff to put everything together and win the big one so that tonight, he’ll know he beat Hardy at his best.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending in the rematch from last year. Candice immediately kicks the knee out for two. A dropkick to the head of Beth as she’s getting up gets the same. An enziguri slows Phoenix down as Candice is starting off fast. A charge is caught and Beth rams her into the buckle to stop that cold.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Rating: D+. Candice slowly fell down a mountain after she lost the title a year before this. Like I said her offense was mostly dropkicks and not very good ones at that. On top of that there were the clotheslines which were embarrassing. The Divas took a nosedive around this point as the good chicks were just not there with the talent other than one in a handful. Also there were two titles by this point which didn’t help anything at all.

Buy the new Flair DVD! That actually was a good one.

Kane says Rey’s story ends tonight. They have a match tonight and if Rey loses, he loses his mask. This feud went on for the better part of eternity and never really had a real payoff.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey fires off some strikes and a dropkick to send him to the floor. Kane gets back in and hits a big boot to send Rey to the floor for a breather. A springboard dropkick sends Kane crawling on his knees into the 619 position. Kane is thankfully playing possum though and hits a clothesline to put Mysterio down. A bad jawbreaker from Rey sets up a middle rope rana to send Kane to the floor.

Rey tries a dive but gets caught in a powerslam position. He climbs up Kane and hooks a sleeper, only to get thrown over the barricade. Mysterio’s back is rammed into the post and Kane hooks a chinlock back inside. Rey comes back with a headscissors to backflip into a reverse DDT to slow Kane down. Kane puts him on the middle rope with Rey’s back to the ring and goes after the mask. Rey elbows out of that and hits a moonsault to a standing Kane to put both guys down.

Dropping the Dime gets two but Rey walks into a side slam which gets the same. Chokeslam is countered and Rey mostly misses something like a spinning springboard DDT. Cole and Jerry aren’t sure if it was an armdrag or a DDT and I’m not sure either. That’s how messed up it was. Rey goes up again but jumps into an uppercut for two. Kane goes to the apron and Rey hits the 619 to the back of the leg and they go outside. Rey dives off the top into a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but the big vs. little dynamic was too much for them to overcome here. It started really slow too and the ending didn’t help anything. Kane as the monster only has a certain limit to what it can do and this was stretching that limit to as far as it could go, as it’s hard to believe he couldn’t get the mask off if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Not a horrible match but it didn’t quite work for me. It was getting better by the end though and it wasn’t horrible at all.

MVP is on the phone in the back and goes to see Vickie about being off the show. He knocks on her door and finds Big Show. MVP asks to see her but Show says no.

Vote at Cyber Sunday!

Here’s MVP to waste some time. This has to be better than the pizza eating contest he was in last year. He talks about how you don’t bench LeBron James or Manny Ramirez (dated reference much?) and on Smackdown, you don’t bench MVP. He thinks the tombstone Undertaker gave Vickie hurt her head, but this isn’t the first instance of him being forgotten. Cue Orton for some more talking.

Randy is still hurt at this point and introduces himself to MVP. MVP says he knows who Orton is but didn’t recognize him without the sling or the folder with the MRI results in it. There’s no reason for MVP to not deck Orton because they’re on different shows. Cue Legacy (DiBiase, Rhodes and Manu. Dang he never fit at all) as MVP wisely heads to the other side of the ring so he can be next to a rope. The fans immediately chant boring as Cody talks about how MVP is the guy that never got into college and just hung out at his high school to look cool while coasting on his reputation.

Cody asks Orton to let MVP have that because it’s all he’s got. Orton yells at Rhodes for some reason and Manu says the only reason Orton was able to punt CM Punk in the head was because of the Legacy beatdown. Orton says that he’ll take them more seriously when they accomplish something, and with that he leaves. MVP says Orton will be back in the ring sometime in 2012. Well it’s 2012 and MVP hasn’t been seen in WWE in over a year while Orton got the pin tonight on Smackdown so I guess he’s right?

DiBiase says MVP’s dad wasn’t a famous WWE superstar so MVP isn’t in their class. MVP says he makes more money than any wrestler on Smackdown. Ted: “My father is the Million Dollar Man.” DiBiase 1, MVP 0. MVP walks up the ramp rather than fight but Punk and Kofi come out to even the odds. Since Kofi and Punk are faces, they let MVP go into the ring without them so he takes a little beating also. The good guys clear the ring. This segment went on longer than any match so far tonight.

Michaels and Jericho are getting ready.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

No story here, but the winner gets the winner of Shawn vs. Jericho at a later date, which would wind up being Cyber Sunday. This is when JBL had slimmed down a lot so the match looks a bit better. They slug it out to start and Batista puts him down with a clothesline. JBL gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a quick spear.

He rolls to the outside but doesn’t get a breather out there either. JBL drills him coming back in and they head outside again for a few seconds. Neckbreaker and elbow drop get two for Bradshaw and it’s chinlock time. Batista suplexes his way out of that and hits the shoulders in the corner. Spinebuster and the Batista Bomb finish this clean. This wasn’t even five and a half minutes long.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this got the job done in a hurry. It was basically a Batista squash which was exactly what it needed to be to make Batista look like a real threat to the title, which he would wind up winning at Cyber Sunday. Also did anyone really want to see this match get fifteen minutes? I don’t ever remember them having what I would call a good match so I can’t complain.

In a pretty awesome moment, JBL, still on his back from the Bomb, calls for a mic. He cuts a promo about how even though he lost a ton of money with the stock market falling apart, the bailout made him a ton of money while everyone else lost money. We cut to the back and see Cryme Tyme, a bunch of Divas and Sgt. Slaughter taking his limo. I hate the political stuff from WWE, but from it going from what sounded like a retirement promo to one of the funniest heel promos I’ve ever heard, it was awesome.

We recap Big Show vs. Undertaker. Show is mad because of the Tombstone to Vickie, Undertaker is mad because Big Show turned heel to defend Vickie at Unforgiven.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

JR talks about how Undertaker is like a Sasquatch that has wrapped his arms around us and how Big Show is Cyclopean. He has two eyes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH JIM ROSS??? Sasquatch and Cyclopean? With smoke still in the ring Taker goes right at him but gets hit in the ribs to slow him down. Taker gets knocked to the floor but lands on his feet. They slug it out on the apron and Taker Stuns him on the top rope.

Out to the floor and Show pounds away on the ribs. Show throws him into the barricade and Taker throws him into the post. This is a total war so far. Now Undertaker’s right hands are malignant. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Legdrop on the apron and they head inside. Taker gets a boot up in the corner but Big Show clotheslines him down. Show slams him down and drops an elbow for two.

Show tries a Vader Bomb elbow but Taker moves to send Show crashing. They slug it out again with Taker punching him into the corner and working over the ribs. Show misses two WMDs so Taker clotheslines him down and drops a leg for two. Taker tries Old School but jumps into a chokeslam for two. WMD (it wasn’t called that back then but you get the idea) misses and they both try chokeslams.

Show wins the battle but Taker pulls him down into a DDT for two. Taker punches him down in the corner but stops to chase the referee, allowing Big Show to expose the buckle. A shot into that and the big punch, a second big punch (this one is pretentious according to JR) and a third one (this one a rabbit punch) makes the referee stop the match.

Rating: B. This was ten minutes long and they beat the tar out of each other the whole time. It’s probably the best Show vs. Undertaker match I’ve ever seen which is quite a selection as I’m sure you know. Good match here and while it didn’t quite get any better after this, it’s a great match from these two which is shocking for me.

Being true to his nature, Taker takes forever to get out of the ring.

We recap HHH vs. Jeff Hardy. Hardy had the title won in the Scramble but HHH won with a second remaining. Hardy won a fatal fourway to get this show. The idea is that Jeff keeps getting close to the title but is always one step away. This would be the best story of 2008 and Jeff would FINALLY reach his goal at some point this year. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Jeff shakes his hand and is immediately sent into the buckle and rolled up for two. They fight over wrist control and Jeff grabs a headlock. It’s just a feeling out process for the first 90 seconds or so. They keep fighting for control and Jeff gets his headlock on the mat. Back up and HHH hits an elbow but walks into a headscissors to send him to the floor. Jeff hits a running clothesline off the apron to take HHH down.

Back inside and back to the headlock. HHH pops up and tries a quick Pedigree but gets backdropped to the floor. Jeff tries a flip dive over the top but HHH steps to the side to make Jeff crash onto the floor with a great thud. That gets two for HHH inside, as does a wicked backbreaker. HHH punches him a bit more and it’s abdominal stretch time. HHH doesn’t have a ton of torque on it so he grabs the rope, forcing a break.

Off to a sleeper instead but Jeff escapes pretty quickly and hits his wrap around clothesline. Legdrop between the legs gets two. Hardy throws Trips into the corner and out to the floor. Now the flip dive works and both guys are down on the floor. Back inside Hardy gets two off a middle rope clothesline. This is starting to get good. Twist of Fate is countered and HHH takes him down with a clothesline of his own for two.

They slug it out and Hardy goes up. I think Jeff was trying a dropkick and I think HHH tried to counter into a spinebuster but it completely missed. Miscommunication, not a botch. Spinebuster with no miscommunication puts Hardy down and it’s Pedigree time. Hardy slingshots him into the post and the Whisper in the Wind gets a VERY close two. Slingshot dropkick to the back sets up the Swanton but HHH moves. Pedigree is countered again into a Twist of Fate and Jeff goes up. Swanton hits perfectly but Hardy lays on top of him, allowing HHH to cradle him for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. INCREDIBLE ending sequence which had me into it both back in 2008 and now as well. Hardy would keep getting closer and closer to the title until he FINALLY won it (from Edge) in December. HHH and Hardy had some mad chemistry together and this is probably their best example of it. Great match and once it gets going, it never stopped being awesome.

HHH is in the back (without the belt) and runs into Arn Anderson who congratulates him. Oh ok he had the belt in his other hand. He runs into Kozlov and good grief no one cared. They gave the options of HHH vs. Hardy, HHH vs. Kozlov and triple threat at Cyber Sunday and HHH vs. Kozlov got like 3%. The fans just didn’t want to see it and thankfully the company listened for once.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. It’s a LONG story but basically, Jericho accused Shawn of faking a knee injury, Shawn said he wasn’t Jericho said he was, Shawn said ok yeah I was, Jericho wanted an apology, Shawn said no, Jericho put Shawn through a monitor and then punched his wife, they had an unsanctioned match which Shawn won, then Jericho snuck in the back door and won the world title in the Scramble match. Jericho gets to defend against Shawn tonight in a ladder match. This feud was AWESOME.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Big match intros are out of the way and we’re ready to go. Shawn goes for the arm to start but then says screw this and tries Chin Music. Jericho moves and Shawn charges shoulder first into the post. Out to the floor and Jericho throws Shawn at the ladder but Shawn climbs it quickly and comes off with an even quicker cross body. Jericho throws him into the post shoulder first again and goes for the ladder.

Shawn drop toeholds him though and Chris’ face hits the ladder. There’s a second ladder but Jericho takes Shawn down and hooks the Walls on the floor. For some reason he lets it go and brings the ladder into the ring, but Shawn teeter totters it into his face. Back in Shawn climbs up but Jericho shoves him off and into the top rope. The ladder goes into Shawn’s face and Jericho is bleeding from the lip a bit.

There are two ladders in the ring now. Shawn counters the bulldog and sends Jericho’s leg into the ladder. Shawn lays a ladder across the bottom rope and drops Jericho’s knee onto it before hooking up a Figure Four. After it’s broken, Jericho kicks one end of the ladder into the post so that it bounces back and hits Shawn in the shoulder and then into the face. It might have been to the previously injured eye. Jericho slams a ladder on Shawn’s head in a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

He climbs up but Shawn shoves it well enough to make Jericho stop and kick him away, causing Jericho to fall off and land on his feet. Chris puts a ladder on the top rope in the corner with the top of it pointing into the ring. Shawn throws Jericho onto the ladder and he falls out to the floor. Out to the floor and Shawn sets up the mega ladder. He hits Jericho with the ladder a few times to keep Jericho down and loads up the announce table.

Jericho is placed on the table but gets up and climbs up the ladder after Shawn. He gets in a few shots and tries a belly to back through the table. Shawn shifts his weight and lands on top of Chris, but they’re both dead anyway. Back in the ring and Shawn goes up, looking to ride the ladder down onto Jericho. The champ is ready for him though and dropkicks the ladder into Shawn, crotching him.

Jericho loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off. He tries the elbow but Jericho pulls the ladder onto himself so that the elbow hits the steel coming down. FREAKING OW MAN! Shawn tries the superkick but Jericho pulls up a ladder and slams it into Shawn’s head. Jericho puts the ladder on Shawn and hits the Lionsault onto it, which would seem to take a lot more out of Jericho than Shawn.

He puts the ladder on top of Shawn and tries to go up but Shawn kicks the ladder forward, sending Jericho crashing down with NOTHING to catch his fall. He’s holding his knee on the floor while Shawn slowly climbs. Jericho gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes. They both climb and slug it out but Jericho gets his leg caught in the ladder and is hanging upside down. Cue Cade for the save so Shawn superkicks him down. Jericho is back up and it’s another race. They both grab the belt and it comes unhooked and it’s a tug of war. Jericho headbutts the bad eye to pull down the title to retain.

Rating: A. Yeah it’s great. You knew this was going to be rated very highly coming in. Everyone loves this match and it’s not hard to see why. Both guys are masters at this and they beat each other up very well in the process. As with most great ladder matches, the matches where it’s about the guys and there happen to be ladders involved are much better than the other way around. Great match and a great ending. This would have been a lot better live I think.

Overall Rating: B+. Dang where were these No Mercy’s before? These last three were some AWESOME shows that more than make up for the weaker ones earlier in the series. The last three matches on here are all really good with a nice mix of brawling, wrestling and carnage. 2009 wasn’t nearly as good as it was all about HHH, Cena and Orton which got really boring, but No Mercy was replaced by I think Breaking Point which was a good show too if I remember right. Anyway, very good show here and worth checking out.

It’s time for Backlash and then….and then that’s it. My goodness and then that’s it.

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