Monday Night Raw – January 13, 2003: Why Would I Want To See That?
Monday Night Raw Date: January 13, 2003
Location: Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for the Rumble and things aren’t looking up at all. We’ve got Steiner vs. HHH for the title on Sunday, along with a bunch of Raw guys in the Rumble who shouldn’t even bother showing up. As for tonight, expect more from HHH and Steiner without them actually having physical contact because it might keep people from wanting to buy the show. Let’s get to it.
I’ve already done the following week’s Raw and the review is available at the end if you’re interested.
We open with Morely and Bischoff worrying about Vince being here. Some referees come up and complain about being mistreated. The word strike is being mentioned. Oh this story. I was hoping to forget it but it rears its head again. Morely leaves with them to smooth things over when Steiner comes up, saying he wants to fight HHH tonight. Instead, Bischoff makes it a bench press contest. Steiner yells, sounding exactly like his brother. Bischoff wants a controversy free show. Uh….doesn’t that make the show boring?
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jacqueline
Victoria is defending and this is hardcore for no apparent reason. I always forget how great Victoria looked back in this era. She has Steven Richards with him here still which I’m sure will play into the ending. There are trashcans full of weapons in each corner. Victoria finds a cardboard standup of Trish which she tears up to get heat. Trish is quickly taken down and Jackie botches a headscissors on the champ.
Trish beats up Victoria and Steven with a kendo stick but gets slammed onto a trashcan lid. The champ misses a moonsault and Jackie gets the most silent near falls you will ever hear. Steven trips both challengers and misses a trashcan lid shot to Trish but it’s close enough for Victoria to retain the title. This was one of the worst matches I can remember in YEARS with Jackie’s parts being eerily silent. It’s too short to rate but this would set some kind of record for worst rating in years.
Richards DDTs Trish post match and but Hurricane of all people makes the save.
The Dudleys come up to yell at Morely and Bischoff because of everything he’s put them through lately. Morely tries to play tough guy and gets beaten up, so Bischoff fires the Dudleys. Eric fires them so they threaten to go to Smackdown, which gets them rehired but suspended without pay. They would get the tag titles back on Sunday anyway, making this entire segment entirely pointless.
Maven/Test vs. D’Lo Brown/Christopher Nowitski
Test gets double teamed to start until Chris gets to pound on him a bit. Again Test gets double teamed but has a bit better success this time and brings in Maven who winds up getting caught in a spinebuster by Nowitski. Brown gets two off a flapjack and it’s back to Nowitski. Maven gets beaten down even more as this is going NOWHERE. Cold tag brings in Test and house is cleaned but Chris saves Brown from a pumphandle powerslam. The big boot misses Brown and sends Test to the floor before Maven walks into the Sky High. He isn’t legal though so Test comes in and kicks Brown’s head off for the pin.
Rating: F+. Stacy looked great in the dress and that’s the extent of anything positive about this match. Other than that, there was NOTHING going on here at all with four guys that no one cared about having a boring match. That basically sums up Raw in a single sentence: a bunch of boring matches that no one cares about.
Eric greets a limo but it has Mean Gene inside. He’s here to plug the Tenth Anniversary of Raw tomorrow night (that’s coming), and for no apparent reason this aired during a commercial. Gene takes a jab at Nitro and that’s it. Jericho comes up and wants to be #1 in the Rumble but gets shot down for no apparent reason. Yeah expect to hear the words “for no apparent reason” a lot in 2003.
Regal rips on Jerry Lawler’s book.
Jerry Lawler vs. William Regal
Before the match, Regal reads a passage from Jerry’s book. The bell rings and Regal has to be checked for a weapon. For some reason that takes three referees. They find brass knuckles and check Storm as well, finding ANOTHER pair of knuckles. Storm gets ejected and Lawler pulls a chain out of his boot. He knocks Regal out cold and gets caught for a DQ. The punch was the only contact of the “match.” I’ve got FIFTY MORE WEEKS of this show.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Raven vs. Jeff Hardy
Raven has trunks and a BIG haircut now. Bird Boy gets a fast two as does Jeff in a feeling out process. I can barely recognize Raven like this. Jeff charges at Raven and they fall to the floor. Back in and Raven takes over by going after the leg which is a new thing for him. Jeff fights him off but misses a fast moonsault which gets two for Raven. Off to a spinning toe hold on Hardy but Jeff comes back with a mule kick. The jawbreaker slows Raven down and there’s a spinwheel kick. They botch….something, resulting in Jeff getting sent into the buckle in a slingshot. Hardy blocks the DDT and hits Raven’s legs with the Swanton for the pin.
Rating: D. Raven would be gone in a week which is a shame because Hardy looked horrible here. He was missing almost whatever he tried while Raven was trying to throw in some psychology to keep things coherent. Terrible match and Jeff would be cone in about three months due to burnout. Well that and not showing up to a lot of shows.
Vince arrives and talks to Orton for a few seconds. The shoulder is at 94%.
Sean O’Haire talks about cheating on your wife in the Devil’s Advocate gimmick. Sweet goodness that thing had potential, but what the people were wanting was Roddy Piper vs. Rikishi right?
Here’s Vince with an announcement but the Dudleys come out sans music. They respect Vince but think Eric is a piece of crap. Vince doesn’t like being interrupted….so he lifts their suspension and gives them a title shot at the Rumble. To recap, in an hour they’ve been fired, rehired, suspended, reinstated and given a title shot. Vince wants to see tables on Sunday.
He tries to make the announcement again but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho sucks up to Vince but Vince proposes that Jericho SHUT UP. Basically Jericho wants to be #1 in the Rumble but Eric won’t let him, so Vince says the winner of the over the top challenge tonight gets to pick whatever spot he wants in the Rumble except #1, which goes to Shawn. For some reason, that makes a difference to Jericho but he leaves anyway.
For the third time now Vince tries to make an announcement but Eric interrupts him. Vince yells at him and says that he wants to say something about the tenth anniversary show. Since Eric can’t control his roster though, maybe it’s time for a public job evaluation. Vince things Eric has been doing a good job but that’s not why he was hired. Eric was hired to shake up Raw but he hasn’t done that. Vince: “I hired you to grab Raw by the throat and choke it until it spit up a phlegm that got all over everybody.” Eric has thirty days to change Raw, which wound up being Austin returning. If not, Eric is fired.
Post break, Eric begs Vince for more time and says no one can do this job perfectly. Vince says someone can and Shane McMahon pops out of the limo.
Booker T vs. Lance Storm
Booker takes over to stat with a slam and a knee drop to the chest but Storm gets in a few shots in the corner to take over. Booker comes back with his spinning sunset flip out of the corner for one, only to have to escape the Sharpshooter attempt. A hook kick to Storm’s face gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Storm whips him into the corner for two and gets the same off a backbreaker. We hit the chinlock to kill some time before Booker makes his comeback with a bunch of chops. The side kick misses and the referee goes down without any contact. Not that it matters as the Dudleys run in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. That’s likely good for match of the night. The Dudleys getting a title shot doesn’t make a ton of sense, especially when Goldust and Booker got screwed out of the titles just a week before this. But then again, it worked three years ago so clearly it can work now too right? The match was another dull one.
Some Smackdown guys are at The World, which is the WWE version of WWF New York.
Steven Richards vs. Hurricane
Set up earlier, meaning Trish and Victoria are with the guys here. Steven’s suplex is countered and Hurricane takes him down with a clothesline. Hurricane hits the Blockbuster (minus most of the flip) and the Eye of the Hurricane for the pin in less than 90 seconds. The girls are fighting on the floor and Trish gets beaten down.
Post match Trish kicks Victoria down. What was the point of this again?
Nathan Jones is coming. He wouldn’t last long.
We run down the Rumble card.
It’s time for the Bench Press Challenge. Each guy gets three reps and the best max wins. Steiner comes out and brags about winning everything HHH has thrown at him. He says put 585lbs on to start and we take a break. Post break here’s the champion in a suit. Instead of going to the bench press area by the stage, he goes to the ring to talk.
HHH says that he’s been planing games with Steiner (DUH) and that Scott is just another guy who is coming to try to knock HHH off the top. Just like Rock, Austin, Hogan, Undertaker and everyone else, he’ll lose. Steiner says let’s fight and eventually strips HHH down to his underwear. The match was going to suck and everyone knew it.
Kane vs. Batista vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
This is a four man battle royal and the winner gets to pick their number on Sunday. The power guys pair off as do the other two with Van Dam going shoulder first into the post. Batista and Jericho team up on Kane but Van Dam makes the save. Kane kicks Batista in the face before having a staredown with Van Dam. Instead Kane chokeslams Jericho and goes Hi/Low on Batista with Van Dam.
Rob kicks Jericho’s face off but Batista goes off on everyone and spears Kane down. Jericho hits Kane low and Batista clotheslines the tall guy out. Chris tries to put Batista out and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Van Dam kicks Batista out but Batista breaks up the Five Star, allowing Jericho to get the win.
Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for about six minutes and then thirty seconds of action at the end. Having a match to pick anything other than the 30th spot is pretty stupid as WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANYTHING BUT THIRTY??? Bad match with a stupid premise, which I’m sure you’ll hear a lot more of.
Jericho picks #2 like an idiot, only to have Shawn come out and throw Jericho over the top to end the show with a TON of pyro.
Overall Rating: D-. What in the name of all things good and holy have I gotten myself into? This was HORRIBLE, with absolutely no good matches and a stupid major segment that wound up being nothing but a HHH promo and a lame brawl. After the Rumble, things have to get better. Mania 19 was considered a classic so things have to get better leading up to that……right? Right? Someone please tell me that’s right so I don’t sob uncontrollably.
On This Day: January 12, 1990 – NWA Power Hour: Two Title Matches In A Single Hour
WCW Power Hour
Date: January 12, 1990
Location: Georgia Mountains Center, Gainesville, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette
This is a final run for this show. I really didn’t like the first one so if I don’t like this one either, I’m dropping Power Hour all together. The main event here is Anderson vs. Muta for the TV Title so you can’t say I’m possibly stopping on a show with a bad main event. Other than that I’m not sure what to expect here. Let’s get to it.
Cornette says we have a triple main event tonight. Good to know. Why do I have a feeling there are only three matches on the card?
Opening sequence.
Cornette doesn’t like this place either because it’s too low class for him.
Brody Chase vs. Steve Williams
This isn’t going to go well for the mullet man known as Chase. JR goes into the history of Williams in the Bowl Games as Williams runs over Chase like he stole something. Chase is knocked to the apron so Doc dropkicks him off that too. Top rope cross body nearly kills Chase as Corny makes fun of Williams’ face. JR stays on his knees to suck Williams off a bit more for being a football player. Powerslam kills Chase all over again and an enziguri gets two. STAY DOWN YOU IDIOT!!! Williams yells at the camera and hooks an armbar. Chase gets in a few shots so Williams kills him even deader and the powerslam ends this.
Rating: D-. WHY WAS THIS SEVEN MINUTES LONG??? We got the idea after about 20 seconds but JR needed to brag about how awesome Williams was again I guess. Really boring match because it went on way too long when we already had the idea after about 5% of it. Not liking this one at all.
Wrestling News Network says that the Rock N Roll Express is coming back, the first PPV and Clash of the year will be announced next week, Kerry Von Erich has left WCCW, and Gordon brags about Dr. Death a little bit too. Apparently Williams isn’t all there because he’s had everything handed to him so he needs to focus.
NWA World Title: Eddie Gilbert vs. Ric Flair
This is from Worldwide so the match’s outcome literally isn’t in doubt. Flair is the face here and Gilbert runs away from him to start. Flair takes him to the mat with ease and Gilbert runs. Off to a headlock by the champ as Woman and Nitron (Tyler Mane) come out to watch. Gilbert takes him down and hooks a Figure Four of his own on Flair after not working on the knee at all.
Flair of course makes the ropes because you don’t make Flair tap to the Figure Four. Unless you’re Jay Lethal apparently but I don’t think even TNA gets that idea. Now Gilbert works on the legs like a regular person would before the hold. Eh he’s from Tennessee and everything is different down there. Gilbert hits his Hot Shot but Flair gets his foot on the rope. Flair rams him into the buckle and pounds away, but he gets clotheslined down for two. Gilbert hooks a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but Gilbert wasn’t exactly the best choice for a world title contender. Flair never was in any real danger here and once he got out of the Hot Shot, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t going anywhere. Not horrible though and for a TV main event, this was ok.
Funk’s Grill has Kevin Sullivan, who beat up Norman and beat him with the painting he spent months on. Sullivan thinks that Terry sees some of his brother in Norman. Terry doesn’t quite see the resemblance but says that Norman has a lot of compassion. Sullivan hates the thought of Funk having compassion because that’s not the Terry Funk he grew up on. Sullivan says that Norman is on the same intellectual level as Dory Jr. They get in an argument and Funk ends the segment.
TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Great Muta
This is the main event and Muta is champion. Anderson takes him to the mat to start but it’s nothing major. Muta hooks on a wristlock and sends him to the floor. Dragonmaster and Buzz Sawyer, Muta’s stablemates, come out and Anderson is in trouble. Muta misses a kick so there’s a suplex to take him down. Arn takes him down with a headlock and works over the arm like a good Anderson.
Muta comes back and hits the power drive elbow as we go out to the floor. The fans are totally behind the Horseman here. Back in and a top rope chop kills Anderson. Muta busts out Cattle Mutilation years before Bryan did but Anderson escapes it and pounds away. Anderson comes back with an atomic drop and the hammerlock slam. He grabs an abdominal stretch but Muta backdrops him over the top to the floor. Apparently he fell though so it’s not a DQ. Why did they wait until 2000 to drop that rule?
Spinebuster hits out of nowhere but with Dragonmaster running interference, Sawyer comes off the top to clock Arn but it only gets two. Muta superkicks Anderson down and calls for the moonsault. Anderson gets the knees up though and DDTs Muta into oblivion to win the title and blow the roof off the place.
Rating: B. The match was really good and the reaction from the crowd was great, but it’s not enough to save the show for me. Anderson would hold the title for about eleven months before he lost it to I believe Z-Man of all people. Muta would head back to Japan after this, returning in 1992 as a MUCH bigger deal.
Anderson yells at Sawyer and they’ll face off next week.
Overall Rating: C+. The main event was awesome but I’m done with this show. I have too many of them already and this one does nothing for me. The problem is that while the main event was great, how many of these shows are going to have a main like that? My guess would be not many. Check out Muta vs. Anderson if you can find it though as it’s good stuff.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Monday Night Raw – January 6, 2003: If This Show Didn’t Kill HHH’s Run, Nothing Will
As I said in the start of the 1997 series, there’s no need to wait to get this year over with. In short, this is probably the worst year for Raw ever, with Evolution dominating the show from February through the end of the year and making no one but themselves happy. Other than that….there’s nothing. Seriously, Evolution DOMINATES this year of Raw and it’s nothing I’m looking forward to doing. We’ll do looking at two shows each time here as usual. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: January 6, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re less than two weeks away from the Rumble and I believe Scott Steiner has been announced as the challenger. If not then that’ll come tonight, but I’m pretty sure he’s called out HHH and the stupid contests have started. The theory was that the two of them were kept apart to build intrigue, but the reality likely was that WWE was scared of people seeing how bad Steiner was. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about HHH saying that he’s not afraid of Steiner. Last week the Game called Steiner out and we got an arm wrestling match. Steiner let HHH get an early advantage then smiled at him like an evil villain. Yeah for reasons that were never fathomed, WWE brought in Scott Steiner, one of the most insane heels ever, as a top face. 2003 was a stupid year.
I miss Across the Nation.
Tonight it’s a POSE DOWN! Geez didn’t they get that this sucked from Warrior and Rude?
The Dudleys come out for a match but here are Eric Bischoff and his Chief of Staff Morely (Val Venis). Eric promises changes for this year, including one in the attitude. We get a clip of JR/Lawler vs. Lance Storm/William Regal which saw JR get beaten down until the Dudleys made the save, hit a 3D on Regal, and give JR the pin. Eric says that he won’t be disrespected like that, so the Dudleys get to have a No DQ handicap match.
3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys
Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.
Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.
Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.
Bischoff slaps D-Von post match.
Post break Storm and Regal come out and yell at JR and King. The evil foreigners go down and beat up the Dudleys a bit more. This is officially overkill now. Regal busts Bubba open with brass knuckles.
HHH is admiring his chest in a mirror when Flair comes in. He talks about the project coming along nicely and praises HHH’s body. Last week HHH had a bad arm from Armageddon but still competed anyway. HHH admires himself on the cover of Flex Magazine until Steiner comes in to talk trash.
Victoria/Molly Holly vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus
Victoria is Women’s Champion and has T.A.T.U.’s All the Things She Said as her music here still. Jackie and the champ start things off with Victoria getting kicked in the ribs a few times. Molly kicks Jackie in the back and comes in off the top with an ax handle. Jackie takes a Muta handspring elbow in the corner, followed by a pretty awesome looking Boston Crab/Camel Clutch combo from the villains.
Victoria misses a moonsault and there’s the hot tag to Trish. The Chick Kick gets two on the champ and Molly is sent to the floor. Stratusfaction is escaped so Trish tries a rollup, only to have Steven Richards come in and reverse it, letting Victoria grab a handful of tights for the pin on Trish.
Rating: C. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a good while. It’s amazing what happens when you take talented people and Jackie and let them do their stuff. Trish and Victoria had a solid rivalry which was as intense as you would get for the girls. Decent stuff here but it was short.
Booker and Goldust talk about how they don’t want Bischoff in charge anymore. They’ll defend the titles later too.
Bischoff is mad.
Here’s Jericho with something to say about Shawn Michaels. Jericho wants to go back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year and he’s going to do just that. He knows he’s the best in the world and doesn’t need the title to prove it. However, Jericho wants the title back so he is officially in the Royal Rumble. This brings out Shawn who says that he isn’t here to get on Jericho’s nerves but rather to talk to Jericho about their similarities.
Jericho is just like Shawn in that he needs the title to prove that he’s the best to the people in the audience, the boys in the back, and himself. If Jericho wants to prove that he’s the best, he needs to start the Rumble at #1, go on to win the Rumble, and win the world title at Wrestlemania. THEN, Shawn will think he’s the best. We get some flat out lies about history, as Jericho says Shawn is the only man to start at #1 and “last the whole hour” to win the Rumble. That was the year of one minute intervals, meaning from bell to bell the match was less than 40 minutes long.
Jericho says that he won the title by beating guys Shawn could never beat, ignoring that Shawn wrestled the two guys a combined ONE time (he never fought Rock) and the time he faced Austin he had a broken back. Shawn says he’ll be #1 to show Jericho how it’s done. If Jericho wants to be the best, he has to go through Shawn to do it. Jericho wants to fight right now, but gets interrupted by BREAKING RNN NEWS!
This was Orton’s gimmick at the time as he had an injured shoulder and would cut into the broadcasts with updates about his injury, ranging from how well he could move it to updates on his chaffing from the sling. He’s actually in the arena tonight and says that his shoulder is at 93% mobility! Orton says he has a better comeback story than Shawn and he’s the new sexy boy as a result. A single punch takes Orton down and Jericho takes Shawn down. RVD comes in for the save but Orton pops up and Van Dam gets double teamed. Now Christian comes in but Kane is out to even the odds and clear the ring.
Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T
Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.
We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.
The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.
Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.
Post match the new champions suck up to Bischoff and Morely.
A famous Raw moment (for the ten year anniversary) is Sabel removing a sack she had to wear to reveal a bikini.
Test vs. Christopher Nowitski
Nowitski has D’Lo Brown with him because Brown is an intelligent black man. Seriously, that’s the explanation we got from him. Nowitski goes after the arm to start as Stacy (Test’s manager) plays cheerleader. Test sends him into the corner and starts his comeback, takes out Brown, and wins with the Test Drive (Cross Rhodes). I would say nothing here but Stack is rocking a blue dress.
Brown takes Test out post match.
Christian tells Jericho that he’s in the Rumble too. Jericho says that means Christian can help him win. This leads to an argument over who is better and who has better tattoos. Orton comes in and says chill because he’s in their corner for the tag match against RVD and Kane tonight. Orton stops to admire himself in a mirror after the Canadians leave.
Scott Steiner was on the cover of a muscle magazine two and a half years ago.
We recap the arm wrestling stuff from two weeks ago.
HHH oils himself up.
It’s time for the pose down because that’s what we need for the major segment of this show. HHH brags a lot and picks six “fans” from the front row to judge this. They have scorecards of either HHH or Steiner so it’s just winner and loser rather than scores. What do you want me to say for this? They pose, Steiner is better, they do another pose. All six judges vote for HHH so Steiner yells.
HHH wants a PUSH-UP CONTEST now, so Steiner gets on the mat and gets beaten up before he fights all six guys off. You wouldn’t think this took seventeen minutes would you? Well it didn’t. It took seventeen AND A HALF minutes. Seriously, that’s all I had to say about it. Oh and good to see Steiner beat up six fans. I can’t wait to sit through his arraignment, LIVE!
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Chris Jericho
Shawn and Orton are the seconds here. We come back from a break to start the brawl, which sees the good guys clearing out the ring. Van Dam gets launched over the top onto the Canadians until we officially start with Jericho vs. RVD. Christian comes in and takes Van Dam down with some choking before it’s back to Jericho. After a kick gets two we hit a bow and arrow hold on Rob.
Jericho pulls him down by the hair and it’s back to Christian. Rob gets sent to the floor where a melee breaks out, resulting in Shawn superkicking Orton. Jericho sends him into the steps in retaliation as we continue to fly through this match. RVD causes Jericho to go shoulder first into the post and kicks Christian down before making the hot tag.
Everything breaks down and Chris breaks up the chokeslam. Christian gets two off a reverse DDT but a Conchairto misses the masked one. Shawn pulls Jericho to the floor and they fight into the crowd. Rob hits a top rope kick to Christian’s face and there’s a chokeslam to set up the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: C-. It was exciting but it went way too fast. I guess this is supposed to be a Rumble preview match or something but it didn’t work at all due to how little time they had. Gee, I’m sure there was nothing else they could have cut to make more time. I know it was a letdown after the posing but they tried out there.
Bischoff says it’s Regal vs. Lawler next week but he gets a phone call. Apparently Vince is going to be here next week.
Overall Rating: D. Let’s see: no good matches, two storylines dominating the show, and seventeen and a half minutes spent so HHH could show off his physique. We’re in 2003 all right. This is only going to get worse over the next few weeks as Steiner vs. HHH would somehow get TWO PPV matches together. Hopefully things pick up with Vince back next week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
King of the Ring 1996: The Austin Promo
King of the Ring 1996
Date: June 23, 1996
Location: MECCA Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 8,762
Announcers: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Owen Hart
And here it is. This show, while fairly harmless looking on the surface, has the promo that saved the WWF from the NWO, despite this happening before the NWO actually had formed which is just a bit odd. Not really but I like noticing things like that. Anyway, they’ve toned the tournament aspect WAY down this year, now only having the final four on the PPV which I think is a definitely good idea.
Three matches a night is just too much for anyone to make work as the fans just get tired of seeing them over and over. Also on the card here we have the first PPV encounter between Mankind and Undertaker as well as a rematch between Shawn Michaels and British Bulldog from the last In Your House. For no apparent reason, Ultimate Warrior is on the box. Now he was on the show, but it was in a minor match. I don’t get that but whatever.
Like I said, this is just a few weeks before Hogan would form the NWO as Hall and Nash were already in WCW and wrestling was on the verge of an absolutely epic boom. Something had to kickstart the WWF side of it. I seem to remember something happening like that here, so let’s get to it.
Our opening video starts by talking about Warrior vs. Lawler. Seriously, was this supposed to be a big deal or something? Then we shift to a standard video talking about all of the big matches and the tournament. That’s just odd indeed. Apparently Milwaukee is the Mecca of sports entertainment. Owen Hart comes down and declares himself a commentator tonight. Well ok then.
King of the Ring Semi Finals: Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero
We have guys opening big doors for the wrestlers that may or may not have been Matt and Jeff Hardy. For years I’ve heard that’s the case, but upon looking at them, that’s apparently false. Austin is just a generic heel at the moment with generic creepy music and apparently he debuted the Stunner in the quarterfinals. He beat Bob Holly and Savio Vega to get here. Yeah they definitely did the right thing by cutting this to three matches.
Mero beat Skip and Owen Hart to get here so Owen is completely behind Austin here. Owen has a bad arm too. Mero had only been around a few months here and was definitely worth something. No one was really sure what that was, but they knew it was something. Austin is a technical guy here as he was really nothing compared to what he would do. They had no idea what they had here.
That would last about two more hours. Vince offers his expert analysis and says this won’t be a long match. Keep that in mind. Owen is a rather good analyst. He knows his stuff and knows how to make it sound simple. That’s all I ask for. Man it’s weird watching Austin like this. He’s a technical guy and not a bad one at all. Ross says mat wrestling is one of Austin’s fortes.
Around this point, Sable more or less is hotness poured into a human body. I mean just freaking amazing. Austin uses a Thesz Press that Ross hasn’t seen in years. I love little things like that. We get a test of strength which is just odd indeed to see. I’m not sure I like this match. They’re doing an extended feeling out process here.
It’s not boring, but it could be that this is completely different from what we’re used to seeing with Austin. Austin is still using the Million Dollar Dream here apparently. You can kind of tell that Austin doesn’t know how to finish a match here. He has that sleeper thing and he’s used the Stunner once so it’s not an established finisher yet. He’s completely dominating here too.
Austin uses a Boston Crab and once Mero breaks out of it, Austin goes for a Boston Crab. That just looked odd. It’s weird to see him moving this quickly. Ok now apparently the Stunner is the finisher. Mero is ok but he’s just nothing special here at all. If nothing else the running dropkick is a move that always impresses me. I don’t get how that move is humanly possible. Austin is bleeding from the mouth.
This is a long match that could use to be cut by about 5 minutes or so. They’re doing a lot of stuff that’s running together. Vince tells Mero to shoot the half. That’s just odd to hear to say the least. After a hot shot, Austin hits a Stunner that was way more set up than his traditional ones. That’s Mero’s first loss in the WWF apparently. No kick for the Stunner either. Vince messes up saying World Wrestling Federation which amuses me.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad, but at nearly seventeen minutes it was a long match. These guys are both good, but they weren’t ready for a match this long yet. They easily could have cut 4-5 minutes from the middle and the match would have been a bit better. That being said, it’s certainly not a bad match. Austin was clearly a star in the making and clearly wasn’t just as over as he was because of his character. He was really quite good in the ring before the neck injury which made him be nothing but a brawler, which to be fair made him the biggest star in company history for awhile.
Doc is with Jake Roberts who is in his preacher gimmick and on a big nostalgia run at the moment, despite never actually winning anything in his entire career.
King of the Ring Semi Finals: Vader vs. Jake Roberts
Vader beat Ahmed Johnson and then got a bye. Roberts beat HHH and Bradshaw, which is a pretty good pairing to say the least. They talk about how Jake could make a comeback. How can you make a comeback if you never won anything to begin with? If nothing else his music is sweet and I mark for the DDT harder than almost any other move in the world.
Owen is talking about various things and Vince completely cuts him off to say how big of a crowd is there. Geez Vince is a freaking jerk at times. Vader uses a freaking armbar. Where in the world did that come from? This is in the middle of Vader’s monster heel push which would kick into high gear just after this show, leading to Vader vs. Shawn at Summerslam, thus ending any credibility he had in the company as a monster.
Actually that’s not true as he did some good stuff in the spring as well. This is a pure smark wet dream match. Jake’s height is deceiving. He’s about 6’5, which is taller than HHH or Edge, who are both big guys. Ross drops the burning desire to compete line which I’ve always liked. For the most part here, Jake is getting in just enough offense to stay competitive. And just like that he hits the DDT.
Well that was unexpected. Vader pulls the referee down while he gets the DDT to cause the DQ. Odd indeed. I think I get the idea though as they wanted to keep Vader strong so they couldn’t have him go down clean. That makes sense. The DQ sounds better as in a few weeks or even days’ time, no one was going to remember that anyway. Post match Vader beats the heck out of Jake and hits a few Vader Bombs on him to injure his ribs for later on.
Rating: C+. This should likely be an N/A but I’m feeling generous. They stuff they had in there was fine, but this was really more of an angle for later than a match. Vader looked dominant but Jake moves on which is the most important part. And there was a DDT so I’m happy.
We’ve had two matches going a combined 20 minutes. One goes about seventeen and one goes about three. That’s just odd indeed.
Vader says he was robbed and he’s the real king.
Tag Titles; Smoking Gunns vs. Godwinns
These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.
These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s screwed Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.
This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring as all goodness so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.
I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.
Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.
Cornette is with his team and says that Bulldog will win tonight, which might have been a good idea actually. I wouldn’t have minded it. Mr. Perfect, the guest referee for the main event, is in the same dressing room so Vince of course panic, because no referee is allowed to be involved in a screwjob on Vince’s watch unless Vince gives such an order.
Jerry Lawler vs. Ultimate Warrior
To say this was an odd feud is an understatement. Warrior came back at Mania 12 and Lawler had been making fun of him, leading to this. Lawler had painted a picture of Warrior and he came out to accept it in a baseball hat. According to the Warrior DVD, this was the end of civilized culture or something like that. Ross is PANICKING that Perfect was in the same dressing room.
We see an RF Video sign as Lawler is up at the coronation area and puts on a clinic of how to get heat going. Like him or not, the man is as good at getting a crowd to want him dead as anyone in a major company I’ve ever seen. His most intense insult is saying that the baseball team sucks and they’re booing the living tar out of him. Let’s look at what he did.
He got on the mic and said that Milwaukee was a bunch of losers, he said the baseball team was terrible because they were a bunch of drunks, then insulted the fans by saying they were fat and ugly. Nothing he said goes past something you might hear in 5th grade and that’s perfectly fine. Lawler is a master at being very basic with his insults but getting all kinds of great reactions from it.
Another key: on the way to the ring after every joke he laughs. He’s not doing anything over the top or ground breaking in the slightest. He’s just insulting each person using very basic stuff, but the delivery is perfect, and the crowd is all over him. That is textbook level stuff and something that a lot of people should pay attention to as a lesson on how to draw heat. I’m impressed here.
A final thing he’s doing very well here: by getting this great heat, he’s building Warrior up as well because the fans are wanting nothing more than to see Warrior beat Lawler from one side of the arena to another. Warrior of course gets massive pyro on the way to the ring. Lawler’s hands are burned for some reason but it seems Bob Orton-esque.
The massive Burger King chant starts up which was a huge deal for Lawler around this time. Lawler of course has something in his tights. That’s another brilliant tactic that someone should use again. He doesn’t have to do anything other than throw a punch when the referee isn’t looking and stick his hands in his tights just after it and he draws great heat. It’s so simple yet so effective.
That’s a big problem with wrestling and wrestling fans today: everything has to be new and epic but I guarantee you that if you went out there and used old school 80s style heel and face tactics that you would get a great reaction from the crowd. As old and worn out as that stuff seems, it works. People say it’s cheap heat or whatever, but I’d rather a heel have cheap heat than dead silence which so many heels get today.
Throwing out a line about the local sports team may be easy, but it works and it works very well. Warrior no sells a piledriver, making him an official felon in the Memphis area. Ross gets in a slightly veiled jab by saying Warrior is raw, unrefined power. I love little lines like that. A few running clotheslines and a shoulder ends this. A huge celebration follows.
Rating: B-. So again, Lawler does all the work and Warrior gets the credit and the win. You know, I really feel sad for guys like Lawler at times like these. Warrior would be gone in less than a month as he went more insane than he usually was.
He hit all of 5 total moves which was a combination of two that he repeated a few times, yet he gets all the glory and probably a higher paycheck for the night. Lawler was a master out there tonight so the entire decent grade is for him. Literally, he gets all of the credit here for making this entertaining.
Monsoon says he’s going to let Roberts compete but he might stop the match if it gets bad. Monsoon was perfect for this role.
The announcers kill time by talking about Jake which means the crowd is bored out of their minds at the moment.
We recap Undertaker vs. this guy named Mankind. This will never go anywhere.
Actually this was a really big thing at the time. Up until this point, Taker had only fought monsters like Gonzalez or Kamala. Mankind was a completely different sort of opponent that legitimately scared the living heck out of me as a kid. To have a guy that was completely insane come in and beat Taker up like he had done really was a completely unthinkable thing.
Mankind vs. Undertaker
This was I believe their first ever encounter. This feud would go on for two more years until perhaps the scariest match in WWF history would end it once and for all at KOTR 98 which I’m looking forward to. Bearer comes out first but there’s no Taker. The whole time we have the darkness going on and when they come back on, Taker is perched on the top rope. That was cool.
He goes completely insane with right hands on Foley to nearly kill him that of course do no apparent damage. This was right around the time where Taker started going completely insane and really became the character that he’s more known as. Before this he was just a freaky dude that did whatever he wanted and was awesome. Now he’s really getting into the darkside aspect.
It’s all Taker so far as he hits what would eventually become Old School. Mankind takes over and this is getting a bit slow so far. It’s a lot of punching and kicking followed by stalling, which isn’t that interesting to watch. This is really similar to what would become the standard during the Attitude Era, which is both good and bad. These two belong in that kind of a match, but at the same time it’s a bit boring.
Ross is WAY too excited about this match. We’re getting some good chair shots if nothing else though. Ok now this is just getting boring. We get a bunch of nerve holds and the like, which makes sense I guess but it’s just a lot of laying around and doing nothing at all. It’s like a rest and then a little spurt of cool looking stuff and then more laying around.
With Taker down (shocking I tell you, shocking) on the floor, Foley does an insane (shocking again) jump at Taker on the floor but Taker gets a chair up in a cool looking spot. Ross says they indented the chair and that the chair is dented. That’s for clarifying that Ross. We get about our tenth mention in this match that we’re in Milwaukee. Do we really need to know that so many times?
We’ve gone well over 15 minutes so far and it feels like a lot less. I’m not sure if that’s bad or good. Foley can’t get the pin so he does his freak out thing where he pulls his own hair out. That’s just freaky. In kind of a weird ending, Taker gets knocked down but makes a comeback thanks to the urn and Foley gets the claw on him.
That’s the end? Oh never mind. Bearer tries to hit Mankind with the urn but nails Taker instead, and THEN the claw ends it. Well at least that makes sense. Mankind goes after Bearer with a sitting item and Taker collapses going after him
Rating: D+. This was just way too much laying around doing nothing for my taste. It was like watching a match on a toll bridge. You kept having to stop for no apparent reason before you could really get anything going, but once you got going you had to stop all over again. The other problem is that these two would have far better matches in the future. No one knew what was coming with these two, but based on this match I wouldn’t want to see much more.
Mr. Perfect is with Doc and says it’s no big deal about him being in that dressing room. Shawn shows up and Perfect says he’ll be legit. This was pointless.
Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Ahmed Johnson
Ah yes Ahmed. This was a guy that was totally and completely hype and no substance. However he managed to ride that almost to the world title if not for some injuries. Goldust is champion here and has been trying to make sweet love down by the fire to Ahmed for weeks now. Owen complains about not being mentioned by Doc and only throwing it back to Jim and Vince.
Ahmed is, I kid you not, billed as Kuwaiti Champion here, having won the world’s worst tournament during a one night show in Kuwait where for no apparent reason there was a show/tour or something. They released it on tape as World Tour 1996 and of the tournament, three matches were shown. Ahmed won it and no one at all cared. I bought the tape for 5 dollars when I was 9 and thought it was awesome.
Dang I was a stupid kid back then. Anyway, Ahmed won it and it might have been mentioned twice and was completely forgotten afterwards. As for this, the beginning is awesome as Ahmed kicks the doors open and knocks the guys standing there to the ground as he sprints to the ring. That’s just awesome. If you told anyone back then that Goldust would be light years ahead of Ahmed as far as entire career accomplishments goes, no one would believe you.
In a BAD looking botch, Goldust is on the floor trying to collect himself so Ahmed dives over the ropes and misses about as bad as Taker did against Shawn at Mania. You can see the Attitude Era coming here as we’re on the floor already. Vince says we see no histrionics from Goldust here. Yeah I don’t know what it means either. Oh apparently it means being creepy. Hey let’s use the steps because that makes perfect sense here.
Naturally we hit the slowdown part as Ahmed is more spent than Warrior was just by getting to the ring. I completely forgot Warrior had a match tonight so that was better than I expected it to be. Goldie spanks Ahmed for no apparent reason other than he’s Goldust. I really hate chinlocks. Ahmed looks like he’s asleep. Actually he might be. Hey, in case you forgot, we’re in Milwaukee!
This is almost all Goldust here and it’s mouth to mouth time. I wish I was making this up. The worse part here is that Vince actually approved this stuff. Hey look it’s another chinlock. Did I mention how much I hate those things? We get a random Ernie Ladd reference. That was rather pointless but whatever. At least they mentioned he’s in the hall of fame so people actually know who in the heck he was.
Ahmed tries a dropkick that misses as no one likes it. That leads to a chinlock and then to mix up things a bit, a sleeper. He gets Ahmed down and releases early (make your own jokes) to set up a mouth to mouth thing. It connects and after a bit Ahmed wakes up. He more or less massacres Goldust and finishes with the Pearl River Plunge (Double underhook powerbomb or Tiger Bomb) to win the title to a big pop. Owen kind of screws up and points out that Ahmed was out cold and Goldust messed up. Great way to build your new champion there.
Rating: D. GOOD FREAKING NIGHT there were a lot of chinlocks in this thing. It was like a Randy Orton marathon or something. Giving these two fifteen minutes while giving Jake and Vader, two guys that can work a long match, 4 minutes is just flat out stupid. The point of this was to get Ahmed over but it did the opposite as it made him look weak and completely beatable. This should have been a glorified squash for the title lasting about 5-7 minutes tops.
Brian Pillman who is brand new to the company here and brand new to the crutches as he had just screwed up in his car and destroyed his ankle which led to his eventual death. He references Jeffrey Dahmer, who was a serial killing cannibal from Milwaukee and cusses a lot. Pillman would have been tailor made for the Attitude Era. This is about as rambling of an interview as you could imagine. It would have been WAY better if Vince would have just SHUT HIS MOUTH! He kept having to put in little comments here and there and it just messed the whole thing up to no end.
King of the Ring Finals: Steve Austin vs. Jake Roberts
The IWC explodes as Pillman and Austin pass each other in the aisle and pause for a second. Good night they were a great team in the time they had. Austin apparently went to the emergency room to fix his tongue. I think that’s legit actually. Jake’s music is just made of awesome. Austin jumps him to the shock of no one. This is all Austin as Roberts is barely even able to move let alone fight.
Here’s his token comeback as it’s fairly obvious that Austin is winning here. Vince says Austin is being a coward for attacking the injured ribs. Owen says Austin is smart to do so, which at least makes sense. Monsoon is out here now and Vince is more or less saying Austin doesn’t deserve to win. It’s not his fault that Vader beat up Roberts.
With Monsoon checking on Roberts it lets him breathe a bit and he beats on Austin for a bit but Austin counters with corner shoulder blocks of all things. Geez Austin was a different kind of wrestler back then. Austin hits the academic stunner to get the win and the crown.
Rating: N/A. It was 4 and a half minutes which includes Monsoon coming down.
However, the most important part is right afterwards: the coronation. Austin says the line that made him a legend: Austin 3:16.
To quote Jim Cornette from Monday Night Wars, “Steve Austin was gonna be a big deal. Nobody knew how big.” That was the debut of both the 3:16 catchphrase as well we that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. It’s not often that you get two major lines like that in one promo but Austin did it. You have to remember that on the big stage, there had never been anything like Steve Austin before.
Everything before had been about the basic ways and standard storylines. The problem was that everyone got sick of it. People got tired of hearing about how great the faces were and etc. That’s why Austin called out Hart: he wanted the purest wrestler there was. Austin represented this unspoken hatred that the fans had towards the old ways that Vince was so desperately clinging to.
He refused to accept that the fans that were children in the 80s had grown up but still had a love for wrestling and wanted to see it. The problem was that these fans were now fifteen and sixteen or even older and the things that fascinated them at seven or eight now looked stupid. That audience was fed up with these stupid angles but there was nothing they could do.
Then Steve Austin showed up. He said everything that the fans wanted to say but couldn’t. The fans rode Austin into greatness, as he became hotter than Hogan ever dreamed of being for a two year period. Yeah I said it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: in the late 90s, Austin was a bigger star and far hotter than Hogan ever was during his career. That’s fact, plain and simple.
Anyway, it’s time for the main event which for once has gotten some hype. They had fought the previous month at Beware of Dog which was the blackout show, but that match had power at the time. Shawn had hit a German suplex for the pin but both guys’ shoulders were down, which led to this rematch.
I’ve always wanted them to give Bulldog a short maybe month long title reign just to give him more credibility but they went with just a rematch instead, meaning it was the same thing they saw a month ago, which is stupid.
WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog
Mr. Perfect is the outside referee here, meaning that he will indeed play a factor in the end because that’s how these matches work. Diana, I hate to say this, but she might be the most worthless woman in wrestling history. Actually scratch that. I couldn’t care less about her. She never did anything at all and was just there because…because…I have no clue why she was there.
Owen is of course biased towards Bulldog. I’m such a mark for Smith for some reason. No idea why but I’ve always liked him. A lot of people would have been hyped about this as Shawn was probably at his best as far as in ring work went at this time. Bulldog could work just about any style you asked of him so he could easily find something Michaels could work with so this was going to be great no matter what.
It would have been a bit better though if they hadn’t done this a month earlier, but that match sucked so maybe this will be ok. Monsoon comes out to make Hebner the main referee and Perfect the outside referee for no apparent reason. Owen calls Jose Lathario Jose Estrada which will be funny to a handful of people here. They start with an incredibly crisp wrestling sequence that was really good.
Smith could wrestle about as well on the mat as any power guy of all time. He really was underrated as a wrestler to say the least. However, Michaels was pretty much the best in the world at this time so he’s somehow outmatched. Shawn’s speed here is just completely ridiculous as he’s flowing so insanely well out there. It’s saying a lot, when Smith, a well proven great wrestler, is being completely left in the dust out here.
Yeah I know a lot of people here will say that I’m sucking up to Shawn or whatever, but seriously just watch any of his matches from this time period and if you still say he wasn’t incredible in the ring, you simply don’t know good wrestling. Shawn works on the arm, which makes sense here as Smith as a power guy needs his arms to use said strength. See what psychology can do for a match?
In a cool spot, Smith catches Shawn coming off the ropes and gets him in a gorilla press before backing up to just drop Shawn over the ropes in a great looking bump. They’re wrestling a fairly basic match here which I think exemplifies the problem here. This match would steal the show as a midcard match. However, it just feels kind of weak as the main event for the world title.
That’s the big issue I have with it: it feels like a weak match that shouldn’t be for the world title. Now at In Your House this was perfect. These two belonged in the main event of a minor PPV but not on a major show. To be fair though King of the Ring wasn’t a huge show by comparison to some of the others. Smith takes over after that gorilla press spot and locks on the sickest looking submission in recorded history: the surfboard. Go find a clip of it if you don’t believe me.
Owen is just ripping Yoko on the mic which is odd. I’m not sure if he had left the company yet but I don’t think he had. Granted he was about to leave so I guess it’s ok. He really was fat enough that he meant nothing at this point anyway. Since we need one a match, we hit the chinlock. Someday someone needs to win a match with one of those, just to stun the heck out of the audience.
After the longest chinlock I’ve seen tonight which is saying a lot, Smith goes up top for no apparent reason. He slips terribly and misses by probably three full feet. Shawn tries to roll out of the way to make it look believable t he’s miles away even with Shawn moving. It was terrible and the only thing I could figure out was Smith slipped as he was certainly capable of jumping that far.
He goes up to the corner and hits a suplex on Shawn where he just lets him go halfway through it and it looked awesome. These guys are bumping like crazy out there. Shawn throws Smith into the corner and Smith goes for a Flair Flip but he more or less throws a front flip at the corner which looks awesome. Shawn initiates his ending sequence and hits the kick and Perfect slides in for the pin.
In a weird looking ending, Perfect counts the cover and gets to two but slides out and then Hebner counts the whole three. That was just completely stupid. Owen comes in and Shawn manages to get him in a figure four and roll up Smith at the same time. Yeah he wasn’t booked too strong at all. Ok so he’s champion so it’s ok. Ahmed comes in for the save and then Vader comes in for the save and the fans start chanting some combination of Austin and Warrior.
Vader keeps looking at the entry way as Warrior must have missed his cue by about a mile or so. Eventually he goes to the top for a top rope something but has to crawl up there because Warrior is just so freaking late. He finally gets there and hits a few clotheslines to somehow reenergize the faces.
The faces celebrate as Vince announces that the two trios will face each other at the awful International Incident show the next month in Canada where Owen and Smith of course were cheered and Shawn’s team were more or less automatically the heels. Warrior got fired again and Sid took his place in a meaningless match that set up Summerslam with Vader vs. Shawn.
Rating: B+. This was a pretty solid match I thought. It had some weird spots in there where it kind of made you make a strange look. The ending was just a head scratcher with the two referees and whatnot. The match was fine though as you had two guys that could work a 30 minute match with little trouble and that’s what they did.
The work and the psychology were both there, making this a very solid match and a fine way to end a PPV. The big brawl was a little much, but at least Shawn won clean like he should have.
We go to the back for a Coliseum exclusive where the heels say exactly what you would expect them to say. Cornette’s rants are just great. Ross looks OLD. He gets on Owen, an announcer, for getting involved. To be fair, the show was over before he ran in so he was done at the time. Cornette is just freaking awesome on so many levels. They actually call him Big Van Vader which I don’t remember him being called in the WWF.
This is followed up by a series of cheat codes for College Slam. Yes, you read that right. That’s something that use to come on a lot of Coliseum Videos, but I never have seen anything other than WWF games. Ok then.
Overall Rating: C-. There’s just way too much bland or not that great stuff in here to justify a good grade here. I was leaning towards D+ but at the same time, there really isn’t anything here that’s so horrible I wanted a blunt object to beat myself with. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not that good. Shifting to having just the final four of the tournament was definitely a good idea as there’s not enough to get annoyed with the people and the requirement of stupid finishes to cut time.
It’s a massive improvement that helped a lot. Obviously the Austin segment is huge in every sense of the word and the main event is quite good, but other than that, this show is just not very entertaining. It’s more of a show that set the table for a lot more stuff later on than something good here, so it’s not really recommended. I’m pretty sure Bulldog vs. Shawn is on Heartbreak and Triumph too so there we are if you’re bored. It’s worth seeing but don’t go out of your way or anything.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Genesis 2013 Preview
This is the last regular PPV for TNA until March and I’m not wild on the card in the first place. Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the title matches.
Hardy will keep the title. It looks like we’re heading for Aries vs. Hardy at Lockdown so Hardy would need to keep the belt here. There’s a chance Aries wins here but I don’t see it happening.
We’ll say the tag titles change and leave it at that. Thinking of these teams more than that makes my head hurt.
As for the X Title, I can picture King winning the belt but not York. Therefore, the question is who wins the match between the two of them to qualify for the title match? I’ll go with King but I don’t have much confidence in it.
Doc is in Aces and 8’s so he loses.
I’ll go with Storm to win my hopeful pick of the month. Storm needs a big win as his push continues to stall and Daniels can bounce back with ease because of his comedy.
D-Von has to beat Park. I mean…..he HAS TO.
As for the Knockouts gauntlet……Velvet. Makes as much sense as anyone else.
Overall Genesis looks like most other TNA B shows: not much interesting other than on top of the show while the next episode of Impact seems more important. The show might surprise us and absolutely will be better than Final Resolution. It’s impossible to be less interesting than that nonsense was. There isn’t much else to say about this and then we’ll get a few months of build to Lockdown.
Thoughts/predictions?
Smackdown – January 11, 2013: Rock Is Back And NEW CHAMPION!
Smackdown Date: January 11, 2013
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’ll begin with a little history here: twenty years ago today, a show called Monday Night Raw premiered. To celebrate, tonight the main event is a last man standing match with Big Show facing Alberto Del Rio as his major face push continues, near Santa killing aside. Also, for the first time in longer than I can remember, Rock is on Smackdown tonight. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is all about the Rock which is the right decision. Oh and we’re in his hometown too. Show vs. Del Rio gets a bit of time at the end.
Here’s Booker to open the show. He doesn’t like being one upped by Raw with Ziggler vs. Cena, so tonight it’s Orton vs. Cesaro. Rock is here too, and we go to a screen shot of Del Rio vs. Show as Booker does what is clearly a voiceover saying it’ll be a last man standing match for the title. I wonder what they changed there.
Anyway Big Show comes out sans music to yell at Booker for his decision. He goes to the floor to get a mic (Show to the guys at ringside: “Somebody get me a mic. There are ten of you over there. What do you all do?” That’s a really good question actually.) and accuses Booker of playing up to the Latino population here in Miami.
Show says Del Rio is beneath him and people like the ones here in Miami don’t deserve heroes. Show: “There are no Latino heroes.” I’m not touching that one. He says an Irishman couldn’t stop him, a Latino can’t stop him and a viper can’t stop him. Show gets back in the ring and grabs Booker by the throat but here’s Del Rio for the save. He dropkicks Show into the corner and hits the running enziguri to send Show to the floor.
We get a classic Rock on Smackdown moment from the post 9/11 Smackdown with Rock hitting Stasiak with a Rock Bottom to beat him in three seconds.
Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
Not bad for an opener. As he comes to the ring, Cesaro says in an inset interview that he’ll be in the Rumble. Cesaro pounds away to start and hits some European uppercuts before being sent to the floor. Orton clotheslines him down on the floor and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Randy in a chinlock before getting two off a clothesline. There’s the gutwrench suplex for two more and Cesaro punches away in the corner.
We get another quick chinlock but Orton fights out and gets two off his rollup out of the corner. A Michinoku Driver of all things gets two for Antonio as JBL gets on Josh’s case for mentioning the word complacent when talking about Cesaro. Orton snaps off his powerslam but gets tossed into the air for the uppercut for two. Randy escapes a whip into the corner and hits his backbreaker followed by the Elevated DDT. He loads up the RKO and here’s the Shield for the DQ at 5:48 shown of 9:18.
Rating: C. I like both of these guys and it’s a good sign to see Cesaro kept strong again. It seems like we’re heading for Sheamus/Orton/Ryback vs. Shield at the Rumble which would work out fine. If nothing else, Shield getting to rub elbows with these guys makes them look like big deals. The match here was fine and I wouldn’t object to seeing a longer version of this.
The TripleBomb takes Orton down and the Shield stands tall.
3MB talks about being in the Rumble. Slater called his mom and was told that they have a ten percent chance of winning. Apparently they’re dealing with Sheamus tonight.
Punk and Heyman are at Sun Life Stadium, home of Wrestlemania 28 and the Miami Hurricanes football team. Punk talks about how big a fan he is of Rock and his football career. He pulls out a Johnson jersey #94 (Rock’s old jersey) and says he’s a big college football aficionado.
He wanted to come to where Rock played back in the day, but that was in the Orange Bowl which is demolished and gone. That’s like WWE now, because this isn’t Rock’s WWE anymore. It’s Punk’s WWE now and Rock has no place in it. Punk says Rock can come back to Miami, but he can never go home again. Good stuff here and it’s always nice to see them outside of the arena.
Del Rio says Big Show has no idea what the Latino people are like and says he’ll win the title tonight.
Dolph Ziggler/AJ vs. Natalya/Great Khali
The guys start things off with Ziggler quickly getting chopped a few times. Off to the girls and AJ jumps on Khali’s back. Natalya takes her down and rams AJ’s head into the mat a few times. Nattie loads up the Sharpshooter but AJ bites her finger. They head to the corner where AJ bites Natalya’s ear before hitting a Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 2:43. Nothing here but AJ craziness.
Post match Langston runs over Khali and hits the Big Ending on Hornswoggle. Freaking sweet.
Punk is still at the stadium and talks about how Rock sounds like a superhero returning to save the people. The people don’t deserve to be saved though. Rather they deserve to rot, because Punk is better than the people. Heyman says that’s Rock’s vision, but in CM Punk’s WWE, it doesn’t matter what Rock’s vision is. Punk takes off the jersey and drops it on the ground before walking away. Still awesome stuff here.
Another classic Rock moment shows us Rock N Sock Connection hijinks.
Here’s Rocky to an eruption. He shows us his arm and the goosebumps on it before saying FINALLY. Rock says Flo Rida is here and says this is a very special show. He talks about Raw and hitting the Rock Bottom on Punk but tonight the champ isn’t here. Rock talks about being in school in Miami and football practice at a field that the local fans recognize the name of. Rock says that it feels good to be home, but the real home he’s going to is the Royal Rumble where he’ll win the title again.
He asks the people if they want to have fun tonight and here are the Rhodes Scholars to interrupt. Sandow introduces himself and Cody to the crowd and Cody says they they don’t think Rock should be here. They’re the ones that are going to be champions soon, so it should be their time. Rock talks about how the Scholars came down here (WHAT) to the People’s ring (WHAT) on the Rock’s show (WHAT) dressed like that (you get the drill) with a dead caterpillar on Cody’s lip. Rock goes to say something but has to ask what in the name of sweet tap dancing Jesus is on Cody’s face.
Sandow wants to ask Rock three questions, and if Rock gets them right, he can stay. If he gets them wrong, he has to leave. Rock says bring those questions but Cody says there’s no point since Rock went to Miami (one of the best academic schools in the country). The first question is who was the 19th President of the United States, which Rock correctly identifies as Rutherford B. Hayes. Sandow: “That is correct.” Rock: “The Rock knows his 19th century.”
Cody asks what movie won Best Picture in 1993. Rock says it wasn’t Tooth Fairy but rather Schindler’s List. Sandow is about to ask the third question but Rock has one for Damien instead. If Sandow gets it right, he gets a prize from Rock and Miami. The question is what happens when you combine a geological aggregate of minerals with its lowest form. That would be a Rock Bottom says Damien. Rock says exactly, and there’s his Rock Bottom. Cody and Rock have a staredown and Cody is ready to fight, so here’s a spinebuster and the People’s Elbow for him. Incredibly entertaining segment here with Rock giving two guys a rub.
Sheamus vs. 3MB
Good old fashioned handicap match here. The Band does have to tag though. Slater starts but immediately bails to the floor where his teammates join him. They try to charge in at once but only Slater goes in, catching a Brogue Kick for the pin at 45 seconds.
HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players
Darren and Daniel start things off and slug it out in the corner. Off to Titus for a release slam but he charges into a pair of boots from Bryan in the corner. Kane comes in and cleans house, getting two off a sidewalk slam. The Players break up a double chokeslam attempt but a single one gets the pin on Darren at 2:22. Just a squash.
Eve vs. Kaitlyn is confirmed for Raw. Again.
We recap the opening segment.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing and Show is defending. Show starts with a hard chop and a slam to put Del Rio down for a short count. Del Rio comes back with a superkick to the stomach but gets chopped right back down again. Show pulls out a table but sets it up between the announcers’ table and the ring instead of putting it inside. Rather than saving it for later Show pulls Del Rio to the floor and casually slams him through the table for a six count.
Back in and Del Rio kicks Show in the ribs to knock a chair out of his hands. Del Rio GOES OFF on Show with some chair shots, showing more emotion in a ten second stretch than he’s shown in the last two years combined. He goes for the cross armbreaker but Show picks him up and carries him to the ropes. Show tries to throw him to the floor but Del Rio hooks the armbreaker over the ropes for a few moments before finally dropping him.
The fall from the apron gets a seven count on Del Rio as Show rests his arm. We take a break and come back with Alberto hitting a running kick to Show’s arm on the floor. Show gets in a shot to break the momentum and slides in another table. Del Rio fires off more kicks to the ribs and dropkicks Show through the table to a big reaction. I’ll give Alberto this: he isn’t backing down.
That only gets a seven as well so Del Rio jumps on Show’s back. After about thirty seconds Show flips Del Rio over but Alberto fires off whatever strikes he can get off to stagger the big man, including a pair of boots in the corner. Del Rio charges into a chokeslam though, drawing an eight count. A headbutt puts Del Rio on the floor and there’s the spear through the barricade as Show is known to do.
Alberto gets up AGAIN at nine this time so Show sends him into the ring again. The WMD connects clean…..but Del Rio gets up at eight AGAIN. The crowd is losing it in a hurry. Del Rio is down at nine but he was up enough to stop the count. Show picks up the steps but misses a charge into the post and drives the steps into his own head.
Alberto blasts Show with the steps and then hits him with them again in the bad shoulder. A THIRD shot finally puts Show down behind the announce table and in a brilliant move, Del Rio turns the announce table over on top of Show. Show can’t escape and Del Rio wins the title at 14:08 shown of 17:38. Ricardo can barely even make the announcement from being so excited.
Rating: B. This wasn’t much of a match, but man alive did they put Del Rio over STRONG here. I don’t think he’ll make it to Mania or even through Elimination Chamber with the title, but this was a great moment and the place legitimately seemed thrilled that Del Rio won the title. To say they’re pushing him as a big deal is an understatement. One thing though: JBL said Alberto survived two KO punches and I read the same in a spoiler, but I only saw one here. Not that it matters much but that was curious.
Overall Rating: B. Smackdown is BACK. You can always tell when WWE is trying and when they’re just killing time until the next major show and this was an episode where they were trying. We had Rocky out there doing his thing, matches being set up, angle advancement, and a big time main event with a surprise ending. Enjoy it while it lasts though, because the summer will be here before you know it. Really good show here.
Results
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Shield interfered
AJ/Dolph Ziggler b. Natalya/Great Khali – Sliced Bread #2 to Natalya
Sheamus b. 3MB – Brogue Kick to Slater
HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young
Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Big Show couldn’t answer the ten count
He’s my all time favorite wrestler and one of the guys that belongs in a WWE Hall of Fame no matter how you look at it. I’ll likely talk more about this when Hall of Fame season pops up.
Congratulations to Mr. Foley, who is as nice a guy in person as he seems to be on TV.
Buggy Nova, aka Skyler Moon in NXT, Released As Well
I don’t think she ever got onto NXT TV. She was considered a big signing for the Divas division but apparently that didn’t pan out. She also went by Natalie in FCW/NXT.
More releases likely coming soon.
A Little More On Raw’s Anniversary
As I said earlier, Raw turned 20 today. I can’t let that go by with just a single sentence.This isn’t going to be a full on article or anything but rather just a few thoughts on the show. When Raw debuted, it marked the death nail for Saturday Night’s Main Event as there was no point to the show from then on. One of the things I think people don’t remember about Raw is that for the first two years or so, the show SUCKED. There were rarely big matches, only a handful of title changes, and it was easily the B show to Superstars for a long time. 1993-1995 weren’t good years for the WWF as they were trying to find a new identity with Hogan leaving (I don’t think he appeared on Raw until 2002 unless I’m forgetting something which I likely am), and Raw wasn’t the place where that would happen for a few years.
Obviously I don’t think anyone guessed it would become what it is today, but it’s still amazing to think how much things have changed since the show started in that hole called the Manhattan Center. Today you have Raw in arenas that hold 20,000 people, or about ten times what the Center could hold. It took them awhile to get out of those smaller places though. Raw didn’t get to MSG until September of 1997. Those old shows still have a charm to them though, as it was still something so new and revolutionary (being live even semi-weekly was a big deal back then), even though the shows mostly sucked.
Those of you that haven’t checked the earlier shows out, track a few down. They’re a far cry from what you see today and resemble ROH TV, but they’re still the foundation of what the WWF was back then, which makes them at least interesting to see. Raw has come a long way and has been anywhere from must see TV to “can we find a good test pattern instead of this garbage?”, but it’s always been on, which says a lot. It’s still worth seeing, just not at three hours every week.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Raw. I’ve never missed a single episode and I don’t plan to anytime soon.
Trent Baretta Released, More Releases Expected In The Coming Days
I guess since Linda’s campaign is over we can start cutting people. Trent is the first casualty and more are expected to come soon. I’m torn on this as I’m a fan of the guy but I can never remember how to spell his last name. I’ll keep you updated on any further releases I hear about.