Yesterday (Tuesday) saw a new record for most views to my site in a single day.  The old record took about nine months to break.  This one took three weeks.  Thank you all for continuously showing up and reading my rambling thoughts.  I can’t say enough how much I appreciate it.

KB

I had some technical issues so I had to tweek a few things on the All Reviews page.  Everything should be the same but if you find a problem with it or any of the other pages listed along the top of the site or on any other other lists of reviews, please let me know.

KB

As confirmed by WWE.comAlberto Del Rio beat Big Show in a last man standing match to win the World Heavyweight Title.  I’m very surprised by this and the field is now open for guesses on what it means for the Rumble and Mania, but I can’t imagine Del Rio holding the title until then.  Also for you trivia people, this is the first time the title has changed hands on Smackdown since 2011.

Thoughts/predictions?

I spend so much time talking about how awesome 1997 was that I might as well watch all of the Raws from that year. This is the year where the WWF was completely destroyed by WCW, but they were planting the seeds for their return to glory. This year includes the Border War storyline which was the setup for Austin’s rise to the top of the wrestling world. I’ll be doing two episodes at a time of this year followed by two each from 2003, as that way I can have everything from 1997-2003. Let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 6, 1997
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,855
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re less than two weeks away from the Rumble, which means a lot of stuff is going to start happening on raw in a hurry. Sid is currently world champion, having taken the title from Shawn in MSG at Survivor Series. He then beat Bret at IYH 15 to do what likely no one else did in this era: beat Bret and Shawn in PPV title matches. Like I said though, the focus at the moment is the Rumble so let’s get to it.

Also for the next few weeks, the show is still just one hour. That would change in February.

Vader wants a piece of Bret Hart.

We recap the debut of Shotgun Saturday Night, which arguably is the start of the Attitude Era.

Old school opening sequence still rocks.

Mankind vs. Owen Hart

Both guys are heels here and Owen is a tag champion. It’s amazing how different things look here with the set just being the big RAW letters. Owen takes him down almost immediately and tries the Sharpshooter but Mankind makes the rope. Mankind, who is looking SLIM here, jabs Owen in the throat to take over. There’s the running knee in the corner and Mankind screams in his face a lot.

Owen grabs the arm but has to fight off the Claw to slow him down all over again. Hart bites down on the leather thing Mankind uses for said Claw before punching him in the face some more. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor where Owen blasts Mankind in the ribs with a Slammy and drops him over the barricade stomach first. Back in and Owen stays on the ribs to knock Mankind to the mat.

Off to an abdominal stretch from Owen as we get some good psychology from a Stu Hart student. Who would have seen that coming? Mankind escapes the hold but gets taken down by an enziguri, sending him back out to the floor. Mankind finds something like a drink tray to blast Owen in the head as we take a break. Back with Mankind in control but having a neckbreaker reversed into a DDT for no cover. Hart goes up but jumps into the Claw which he rolls through out of nowhere to escape. Owen is sent shoulder first into the post and walks into a piledriver out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: B. Good solid wrestling match here with both guys working well together. That’s no surprise as these two are wrestlers who seem to fit together with anyone. Mankind was still pretty new here and was viewed as incredibly bizarre, which would be the case for most of 1997 until he became more of a strange tough guy.

Shawn and the Lotharios are looking forward to Sid’s interview later.

More from Shotgun with Ahmed beating up D’Lo Brown on the streets of New York. Literally.

Here are Fake Razor and Fake Diesel as Honky Tonk Man is now on commentary. He’s looking for a new protege at the moment.

Razor Ramon/Diesel vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

Diesel and LaFaon start. Ok so LaFon has the short hair. Got it. Kane had one thing going for him in this angle: he actually looked like Diesel. Razor on the other hand looks like he’s wearing a homemade Halloween costume. Off to Razor for a fallaway slam before he misses a charge. Tag off to Furnas for a quick headlock before Razor cranks on the arm for a bit. The announcers talk about the main event until it’s off to Diesel.

We get some classic big man clubbering before Razor hooks an abdominal stretch. We take a break and come back with Diesel hitting a side slam for two. Furnas can’t fight out of the corner and we stay in the slow beatdown segment. Furnas finally escapes and makes the tag to LaFaon who fires off forearms and kicks to take the imposters down. A dropkick gets two on Diesel and things break down again. A Frankensteiner gets two on Ramon and a middle rope Hart Attack gets the pin on Diesel.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it went on WAY too long. It felt like it was supposed to be a squash but it wound up being a long match which didn’t make any of these guys look any good. Fake Razor and Diesel didn’t work at all and I don’t think anyone was actually entertained by them. Does it seem like I have nothing at all to say here?

We recap Goldust and HHH last week where Marlena was injured.

More Shotgun with Marlena flashing Sultan to save Goldust.

Bret wants Shawn to interfere in his match tonight. He isn’t worried about Vader either.

Here’s Sid for a chat. Sid goes on a rant about how he’s going to destroy Shawn in San Antonio. I think that’s what he’s talking about at least, as Sid isn’t the easiest guy in the world to understand. He might have been wishing Shawn a spicy pasta. Shawn comes out to do commentary and some stripping.

Bret Hart vs. Vader

Not bad for a main event. Vader is feuding with Taker at this point and yesterday, Vader’s manager Jim Cornette got destroyed on Superstars. Vader pounds Hart in the corner and sends him to the floor but Hart sends him into the steps to reverse control. Back in and Bret works on the arm on the mat but it doesn’t last long due to Vader running Bret over. A middle rope clothesline puts Bret down again and Austin is watching in the back as we take a break.

Back with Vader running over Bret again for no cover. A HUGE middle rope splash gets two but the moonsault takes WAY too long to set up. Bret starts in on the Five Moves of Doom which has Shawn cracking some very funny lines about how Bret is repetitive. Bret goes up for the middle rope elbow but gets shoved to the floor instead. Sid comes in out of nowhere and steals a cameraman. During the distraction, Austin comes out and Stuns Bret on the floor. That and a Vader Bomb are enough for the kind of upset pin on the Hitman.

Rating: C+. This was Bret’s bread and butter: beating on guys bigger than he was. The interference was a bit much but the matches these four would combine to have over the upcoming weeks would be more than worth it. Bret getting screwed again would be a major factor in the coming weeks and months, which made things very awesome.

Sid powerbombs Jose Lothario’s (Shawn’s manager and mentor) son in the back. Shawn runs to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Long matches aside, you could see the pure talent in this company that would wind up saving the company in the long run. WCW had the star power, but at the end of the day this is wrestling, and if you can’t deliver a decent match, you’re going to lose some fans. It would take time, but eventually it would work out in the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I did this one specifically for this series so today you get a double shot.

Monday Nitro
Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Disco Inferno

It’s the go home show for Sin and since this is 2001 WCW, odds are things are going to make a lot more sense than they did the year before. Scott Steiner is world champion and is getting ready to face Sid and Jeff Jarrett in a fourway on Sunday. That’s only three names though, because the fourth man is a MYSTERY MAN who is running around in a mask at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Ric Flair who is CEO of the company and flanked by security here. Flair sucks up to the Vikings fans so apparently he’s a face here. He talks about how awesome WCW is but he has business to attend to. Apparently no one wants Mike Sanders to be Commissioner because Sanders won it in a match. Flair isn’t sure but there might have been outside interference to win the job. I guess Flair doesn’t watch his own matches. Anyway, Sanders has to defend the job on Sunday.

As for the world title, Scott Steiner interfered in some match on Thunder so Flair isn’t sure who to put in the main event. Yeah it’s six days before the PPV and they don’t have a main event. Here’s Jarrett to say he’s already in the three way on Sunday, so Sid shouldn’t get in because Sid didn’t beat him. Logical enough I guess. Flair says Jarrett is being a Tennessee Titan (how is that an insult?) and says there’s no three way on Sunday.

This brings out world champion Scott Steiner who wants the three way with Jarrett and the Mystery Man. Instead, it’s going to be a fourway with Sid thrown into the mix. Steiner freaks so Flair shows us a clip of Steiner and Jarrett arguing over Jarrett getting into a qualifying match for the PPV title shot. Now we get a clip from Starrcade where Jeff accidentally hit Steiner with a guitar. Wouldn’t Steiner know both of these things already? Tonight it’s Steiner vs. Jarrett for the title.

Goldberg and Sarge, as in Buddy Lee Parker, get here. Goldberg is looking for Kronik.

Mike Sanders complains about being put in the match on Sunday. Tonight it’s Ron Harris vs. the Cat, as in Sanders’ opponent at Sin.

Shane Douglas yells at Flair in the back and gets a match with Sid as a result. If Shane wins, he might get into the title match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is in 3 Count here which is always awesome. Chavo is Cruiserweight Champion but this is non-title for no apparent reason. The last days of WCW didn’t get much right but Chavo was on fire around this time so the match should be good. Apparently Shane Helms, Moore’s 3 Count teammate and guest commentator for this match, gets a shot on Sunday. Chavo runs his mouth to Helms before the match to hype Sunday. Actually he does even better than that and makes this a title match. If he loses, his rematch is Sunday so Helms is locked out on Sunday.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon jumps him to start and hits some Hardy style offense, including a kind of Whisper in the Wind and Poetry in Motion minus a Matt in the corner. Chavo comes back with a belly to back suplex and some HARD chops. Off to a modified chinlock as Chavo yells trash at Helms. After we kill some time in that, Shannon fights up and gets a fast two off a victory roll. A small package gets the same and it’s back to the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Guerrero settles for a dropkick for two.

Moore comes back with a spinning springboard Fameasser for a near fall of his own before putting Chavo on the top. He tries a springboard something but botches it badly, falling down without touching Chavo at all. A headscissors puts Chavo down for two but he can’t hit a sleeper slam (second Billy Gunn move of the match). Chavo grabs a brainbuster (by name only as it was really a suplex) to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was your usual cruiserweight spot fest but that’s perfectly fine. At the end of the day this had a lot of untapped potential with Shane wanting to get the title shot but not wanting to screw over his partner at the same time. Instead, Helms sat on the floor and did nothing at all. That’s WCW for you: the one time character development would be good, they don’t do it.

Shane chases Chavo off to prevent another brainbuster.

Kwee Wee and Paisley (Sharmell) arrive and Sanders beats up Kwee Wee (the resident flamboyant gay character) for no apparent reason. Big Vito makes the save for an even less apparent reason.

Luger and Bagwell are in the back standing there. Nothing is said, nothing is done. Ok then.

Ernest Miller vs. Ron Harris

Miller has Ms. Jones, a decent looking Hispanic chick who dances with him, in his corner. Both Harris Brothers get in the ring and Miller says he may be mad but he’s not crazy. He says he has no beef with them but they look like baby Frankensteins and the beating is on. We finally get down to Ron pounding on Miller on his own for a few minutes until the Cat (Miller) comes back with his kicks and dancing elbow. The referee gets in Miller’s face and the twins switch. Not that it matters as they come in and hit their H Bomb finisher for a fast pin. Nothing to see here, other than somehow overbooking a two minute match.

Post break, Miller dances in the back.

General Rection wishes Sid luck.

Jarrett tells Steiner to not let Flair get in his head. There are enough people in there already.

Mike Sanders and the Natural Born Thrillers and the commissioner makes Vito/Kwee Wee vs. two “randomly selected opponents.”

Luger and Bagwell tell Kronik that Sarge and Goldberg have been talking trash about them. A non-sanctioned match is made for later.

Here’s Team Canada (Lance Storm, Mike Awesome, Elix Skipper and Major Gunns) to talk about their opponents on Sunday: the Filthy Animals. Tonight it’s Storm vs. Kidman but on Sunday, the Canadians want a Penalty Box match. If you break a rule, you go to the box. I guess the match is made.

Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman hits a fast rana to take over but he gets draped over the top rope to slow him down. Awesome throws in a chair which Storm wedges between the top and middle ropes but Kidman slows him up to avoid being rammed. Storm hits a backbreaker and bends Kidman over his knee for a bit. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit before Storm springboards into a dropkick to put both guys down.

Kidman speeds things up and hits a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two before Storm hits a superkick for the same. Kidman’s kickout sends Storm’s head into the chair (not a DQ for no apparent reason) and Kidman rolls him up for two, as Awesome pulls Billy to the floor. A brawl breaks out but it’s STILL not a DQ. Kidman hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the pin.

Rating: C-. Again the match was fine but they overbooked it with weapons and interference that just wasn’t needed. I get the brawling on the floor between the teams, but at the same time, did we really need to see everything else going on? That kind of stuff can get really annoying and distracting after awhile and that moment was about a year ago in WCW.

Shane Douglas vs. Sid Vicious

Shane jumps him to start but Sid will have none of this selling stuff. We quickly head to the floor where Sid sends him into the barricade to put Shane in even more trouble. Douglas gets dropped face first onto the announce table as the beating continues. Back in and Shane hits Sid low to take over for a bit. Sid comes back with a big boot but Shane pokes him in the eye to break up a chokeslam. The second attempt connects though and a powerbomb ends this quick. Not much above a squash here.

Steiner and Jarrett jump Sid as he leaves.

Flair says Sanders is out of control but he thinks things will work out for the best. If Steiner and Jarrett don’t go their hardest, they’re both suspended and Steiner is stripped of the belt. Also the penalty box match is on and Jim Duggan is referee for no apparent reason. Duggan says he’ll call it fair. Why isn’t he wearing a shirt?

Here’s Hardcore Champion Terry Funk with something to say. He says he’s the king of hardcore and it’s about time for the CEO to realize he’s the king. Flair wants to destroy him by putting him against nobodies like Crowbar. Apparently if Funk associates with nobodies like that, he’ll become one. Gee, GREAT way put over young talent there guys. Funk wants GOLDBERG in a hardcore match. Or Steiner. Or Page. Crowbar finally comes out with a chair (and Daphne dancing with sparklers for some reason) to say he stood toe to toe with Funk at Starrcade. Crowbar idolized Funk growing up apparently. Funk: “You should idolize me.”

Funk says there wouldn’t be hardcore in this country if not for him because he started ECW. Is this an attempt to turn Funk heel? Crowbar says he’s tougher than anyone Funk has ever fought and on Sunday, he’ll take the title from Funk. He promises to take the torch from Funk and become the new leader of hardcore. He charges the ring now but Funk bails. Ok so Funk is a heel. That makes a lot more sense.

Meng sneaks up on Funk and hits him with a chair but can’t put Funk down. He kicks Daphne instead and Death Grips both Funk and Crowbar (literally through the wooden chair Crowbar was holding) and takes the belt, saying (!!!) that if they want the belt, come take it from him. Meng would win the title on Sunday and sign with WWF, returning to the company at the Rumble. You know, because putting a title on a guy you don’t have signed to a contract (in other words, EXACTLY what WCW exploited with ECW) was stupid.

We go to an office in the back (presumably Sanders’) where someone changes the envelope that he had earlier with the names for the match later.

Kronik vs. Goldberg/Dwayne Bruce

The idea here is that Goldberg has to match his old winning streak to get another title shot and if he loses, he’s out of WCW. Bruce is a tiny trainer and has a broken arm thanks to Luger and Bagwell. Adams jumps Goldie in the aisle as Clark beats up Bruce in the ring. Clark, ever the genius, goes out to help beat up Goldberg instead of beating up the career jobber with a broken arm. Even SCHIAVONE says this is stupid.

Clark sends Bruce’s arm into the post as the two of them officially start the match. Off to Adams as Hudson panics. There’s a gorilla press to Bruce but he counters a suplex into a bad DDT. Hot tag to Goldberg, Kronik gets in some offense, Goldberg remembers he’s Goldberg, house is cleaned, Jackhammer, pin. Not enough of the actual match to rate but it was nothing of note.

During Goldberg’s offense, Luger and Bagwell came out and ripped the cast off of Bruce’s arm and beat on the broken arm for a good while. They beat Goldberg up as well and Luger decked Adams for no apparent reason.

Here’s Sanders to pick the names to face Kwee Wee/Big Vito. If your name IS NOT in the envelope, you’re banned from ringside. Apparently this is a last man standing match for no apparent reason. The names are Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Sean O’Haire (all Natural Born Thrillers) and then the fourth and fifth are DDP and Nash, making it a 3-2 handicap last man standing match. Sure why not. Oh and Page and Nash are tag champions who just happen to be defending against O’Haire and Palumbo on Sunday.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. The Insiders

It’s a huge brawl to start of course with Page getting beaten down by Chuck in the corner. The camera work sucks here as they keep focusing on one thing when a simple wide shot would be perfect. Palumbo and O’Haire superkick each other so only Sanders is left standing. Page hits him low to put all five guys down. Everybody gets up at about 8 thank goodness and Page cleans house. The other Thrillers try to run in but Kwee Wee and Vito (weren’t they supposed to be in this?) hold them off. Page and Nash win with their finishers. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long.

Rating: F. This was not only bad, but REALLY stupid at the same time. We have the challengers for Sunday with a man advantage and they lose in less than four minutes in a match where you have to stay down longer than for a regular pin? This company deserves to go out of business. Oh and of course Page/Nash would drop the belts on Sunday, because this match means nothing at all.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett

Steiner says he would beat anyone thrown out here tonight but he gets to face his friend instead. Actually he isn’t and Flair can get over it. Jarrett is in the back and says it’s not happening either. Post break here’s Jeff to say the two of them are tired of this c-o-n-spiracy stuff so the match isn’t happening until Sunday. Flair comes out and says have the match and Jeff is all okey dokey so there’s the bell.

Jarrett pulls back the guitar but Midajah (Steiner’s chick) warns Scott and the beating begins. Steiner charges into some boots in the corner to put him down and Jeff chokes away a bit. A jawbreaker and atomic drop stop a Steiner comeback and a top rope cross body gets two. Steiner comes back with a tilt-a-whirl side slam but stops to pose instead of covering.

Jeff gets put in the Tree of Woe so Steiner can choke a bit and we head outside. Jeff is whipped into the barricade a few times before Steiner slams him onto the announce table. A WEAK low blow slows Steiner down and back inside we go. Back in and Steiner blocks the Stroke before getting two off the belly to belly. Sid and the Mystery Man run in for the double DQ.

Rating: D. This was pure filler with an ending that should have been seen coming a mile away. Steiner was all muscle and dominance and we didn’t have time to see if that would mesh with Jarrett’s basic style. Make no mistake: Jarrett could wrestle with anybody but Steiner was a hard style to work with. The match was nothing at all though.

The fans bark because they think it’s Rick Steiner (it’s not) and a big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible, but the lack of star power and the BIG barrier between the old and new guys really stands out here. WCW was long past dead at this point so it’s not like it matters in the long run anyway. Sin was built up well and wound up being a pretty decent show if I remember right, but overall there’s just nothing worth seeing here with some head scratching booking, pretty lame matches and nothing that makes me want to watch Sin. Again though, the company was dead by this point anyway and the stuff that happened at Sin was just filling time until they closed the doors.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

According to him.

http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/269101/Pope-DAngelo-Dinero-Done-With-TNA.htm

At the end of the day, he hasn’t done anything of note in years so I can’t say I’ll miss him that much.

Thoughts?

I’ve been saying this for months and last night it finally hit full on.  Punk became a great heel last night becauseHe was delusional.  He went completely over the top and started making absurd claims right in the face of the Rock and it made people boo him.  With him saying stuff like he would have been champion for thirty years in Bruno’s time and saying how he’s the one guy who didn’t sell out, it made him seem completely insane in his ramblings.  This is in contrast to the way he was talking about Cena, when Punk was making perfectly rational claims about how the goalpost kept being moved on him.  Fans were split by that because Punk was talking sense, but now that he’s delusional, booing him made sense.

Why it took seven months to get to this point is beyond me, but at least it finally happened.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for Tribute to the Troops.  I had planned to do the rest of these shows, but they are freaking HARD to find. This is the only one I could find a full copy of at the moment so you’re stuck with it. This is one of those shows that doesn’t take itself seriously and there’s nothing wrong with that. The main event tonight is HHH vs. Michaels in a boot camp match, which should be entertaining if nothing else. Let’s get to it.

This is a special episode of Raw, not a regular special if that makes sense. Also as usual with these shows, the ratings are going to be much lighter.

We open with the soldiers running up to meet the WWE guys.

Video on how awesome WWE is for doing this.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He says Santa himself may be here tonight, but he’s not sure what to give some people. Tonight is about the troops who the media back home doesn’t understand and it’s time to tell their stories. Vince brings out Lillian Garcia in a sexy Santa outfit to sing the national anthem.

Video on WWE landing in Germany for a pit stop.

Big Show vs. Carlito

Carlito pounds away as well as he can but jumps into a chokeslam for the pin. This barely lasted a minute.

According to Joey, it’s about 45 degrees in Afghanistan so I can understand them wanting to get out of the ring quickly.

Video on troops detonating landmines.

Here’s Coach to introduce Santa. Santa is in camo and has a beard that covers his face. He talks about how no one cares about the troops and insults their base. Santa complains about there not being any Dom Perignon for his reindeer and says that he’s canceling Christmas, New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco De Mayo, Groundhog’s Day and Oktoberfest! This brings out a Santa in red who says that HE is the real Santa. The Bad Santa says that the only Ho Ho Ho’s around here are the Divas and the red Santa is an imposter. The Red Santa suggests a No Ho Ho Holds Barred match to determine who the real Santa is.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Good Santa loses his hat and is revealed to be Mick Foley (of course). He hits Bad Santa with a sack of toys, revealing JBL in the camo. Foley pulls the pillow from under his shirt and hits JBL in the head with it. JBL thankfully no sells it (Joey: “Mick, IT’S A PILLOW!”) and kicks Mick in the head. The Clothesline misses and it’s Socko for the win. This was great fun.

We see some clips of a press conference with Cena and Trish answering some questions.

Video on MSNBC being in Afghanistan as well.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Gene (Snitsky’s first name for awhile) takes Shelton down to start and rips the buckle pad off. Shelton comes back with some fast shots to the head but splashes the buckle, allowing Snitsky to kick his head off for the pin. Shelton is on a big losing streak here which would result in Mama Benjamin showing up to get him on the right track again.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Cena is champion but this is non-title for no apparent reason. Masters runs Cena over with a shoulder block but Cena takes him to the mat with a front chancery. That would be move #19 or so that I can think of Cena using over the years. Masters gets low bridged to the floor for some brawling before we head back in. Chris puts on a front chancery of his own as the fans chant for Cena. There’s the Masterlock but Masters lets go of it instead of letting it get broken. Well to be fair he isn’t famous for his brain. A middle rope fist drop misses Cena and they slug it out. Cena hits his usual stuff and finishes with the FU.

Rating: C. This was fine. Cena is incredibly popular on these trips so having him win a quick match is perfectly fine. There wasn’t supposed to be anything intense here and that’s what the fans got. Masters would be in the Elimination Chamber in a few weeks after this and would actually make it to the final two or three.

Video on troops missing their families.

Here’s Coach to call out Ric Flair. Some banter occurs, and Flair is challenged to defend the Intercontinental Title RIGHT NOW.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach gets in a quick elbow and chokes away with a shirt to start but Flair comes back with chops in the corner. Flair asks the referee for the time and hits Coach low in a classic Naitch move. Figure Four and we’re done.

Video on the troops being heroes.

Music video on the WWE people meeting the troops.

Maria almost walks into a bomb shelter.

Maria/Candace Michelle vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

Trish is rocking the camo outfit here which REALLY works on her. Ashley and Maria start things off and what are you really expecting here? Candace wants to fight Trish but runs when Trish comes in. I think Candace and Maria are heels but Maria is too goofy to be evil. Candance gets body surfed by the troops for a bit but it’s time to dance a bit first.

Michelle lays on the ropes but Trish shoves Michelle to the outside and lays on the ropes herself. Trish accidentally headscissors the referee down and it’s time for the chops from Stratus. Now the headscissors takes Candace down. Off to Ashley who gets rolled up for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: A. This was about getting hot women in small outfits for the troops. It worked.

The Divas celebrate with the troops post match.

The troops are constantly in danger and some awards they’ve won.

Video on the WWE people meeting the troops again.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Bootcamp match which basically means street fight. Shawn has his camera with him which I always find cool. He’s also in camo which is a nice touch. HHH punches him down to start as we have credits going along the bottom of the screen. Shawn cranks on the arm to slow things down and gets two off a backslide. We hit the third armbar before Shawn gets elbowed back to the floor.

Back from a break with Shawn being backdropped out to the floor. HHH tries a Pedigree on the outside but gets backdropped down instead. Shawn blasts HHH in the face with a sandbag and pounds away even more. HHH comes back with a gas can to the head, giving off a big THUD. They slug it out in the aisle and head back in where HHH is thrown over the corner and right back to the floor.

Shawn hits him in the head with a mop of all things but gets sent face first into the post as a result. Back in and there goes the referee, meaning HHH’s DDT gets no count. Another referee slides in for two, resulting in a shoving match with HHH. The referee has an Army insignia on his arm so HHH blasts him in the face. Shawn takes HHH down but can’t follow up. They slug it out with Shawn taking over with his usual stuff. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult and Chin Music ends this.

Rating: C+. Again, what did you expect here? The idea was to give the fans something fun to end the show and that’s exactly what they did. There could have been more weapons used here but the stuff they had was fine. Shawn winning sends the troops back to their barracks happy and that’s the right idea for something like this.

A final music video ends things.

Overall Rating: C+. This is always hard to grade but this was fine. This isn’t a show that you can grade like a usual one and I wasn’t about to try to. The troops got to see something fun and have a good time and the WWE gets to look good. This was fun like it was supposed to be and that’s about all there is to it. In other words, simple and fun, which is more than you get from a lot of wrestling shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

New Year’s Revolution 2006
Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

Ok, so quite a bit has changed in the last year or so. Cena is now the Raw Champion and yet again the main event here is the Elimination Chamber, which is fine as they’re just bringing it out once a year to kick it off in some style so I can’t complain on that front. Anyway, other than Cena against five fairly weak challengers, the other things on the card are Big Show vs. HHH which actually is intriguing and…uh…actually never mind. There’s nothing else worth mentioning at all on here. Let’s get to this.

The video is of course all about the Chamber as you would expect of it. Joey’s voice here is either great or terrible and I’m not sure which.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Ric Flair

Edge has the MITB at the moment and Flair has the title. Flair being the IC Champion was kind of a cool thing as he never held the belt before. He also brought some prestige to the belt which it was sorely lacking. Now I don’t know how smart it is to have a guy pushing 60 holding the midcard title, but Flair was still almost bearable in the ring at this point so it’s ok I guess.

This is going on as Flair had legitimately had a road rage incident and Edge did a hilarious parody of it. At this point Flair’s personal life was such a wreck because of a nasty divorce that he more or less was staying in the ring to pay his bills. This is your run of the mill Flair match here as Edge beats him up for a good while and works on his back, as it certainly has never healed at all in over 30 years.

Since I can more or less call the next few spots, I randomly start singing Trish’s theme song. Flair has so much charisma it’s scary. And Flair puts the figure four on Lita for no apparent reason, making Edge hit him with the case for the DQ. Well that came out of nowhere. At least the ending makes sense a bit as he’s protecting Lita. Flair bleeds. No need for the case here as a stiff glare could crack his head open.

Rating: C-. Standard Flair match here and while the ending is a bit odd, it’ll make sense in a little while and if you’re not familiar with that, you’ll find out soon enough. It looks like tomato soup on Flair which is just stupid but whatever. Not a terrible match as it was more or less acceptable.

Angle, a heel here, says he wants America to lose the war in Iraq. Well he’s 1 for 1. He says he likes France, doesn’t like black people, and he wants to go back in time and make Jesus tap out. Apparently no matter what he says people will cheer for him because he’s so awesome. That’s clever actually.

Flair is STILL being taken out. I’d hate to see what chicken noodle would do. Apparently if you put your hands on Lita, you pay. Dang  that must be a poor locker room.

Recap of Mickie vs. Trish. Mickie was still insane and they would feud over the title for a good while, including at Backlash 2006 which I attended. Mickie beat Victoria for this shot. She was about to go nuts and heel at the same time after kissing Trish. It was interesting if nothing else.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

This is a weird match as Mickie is acting all honored to be in there and Trish is creeped out and annoyed by it. It’s a nice bit of storytelling that you rarely get in a lot of wrestling today, especially women’s wrestling. Trish does kind of a baseball slide and misses to let Mickie take over. James is WAY over here also as her character really was great. It’s weird as Mickie James is on Smackdown at the moment and she looks so different now and then.

She’s fat now? She looks about the same, but she’s wearing skirts here and jeans on Smackdown, that’s about it. This is more of a psychological match instead of based on wrestling which while hard to do can indeed work. Mickie hits the Stratusfaction as I’m liking the thinking of the match. Trish hits the Chick Kick out of nowhere for the pin. That’s a bit anticlimactic but it was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: C+. Not everyone is going to like this match as it’s not your standard match. They were going more for psychology and character development here and I’d say it was certainly a success. Fun match but this was really just a piece to the puzzle if that makes sense.

Maria interviews herself about the bra and panties gauntlet. She’s the ditzy blonde here so it’s a bit different but charming to an extent. Gregory Helms shows up to cut her off and he’s about as awesome as he’s ever been here as the ridiculously cocky heel.

Shelton Benjamin and his mother are here. This was somewhere between brilliant, hilarious and freaking stupid.

Edge doesn’t want to answer internet questions. He has Lita do it instead.

Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD ad. This went about as ridiculously far into unfairness as you could possibly go as they bury this guy harder than they do anyone I’ve ever seen.

Jerry Lawler vs. Gregory Helms

This is more or less the same thing that they did with Hassan last year as they were just giving Helms this to get him over as a cruiserweight trying to fight heavyweight guys. Apparently Lawler said Helms sucked and he got slapped or vice versa, and I think it was the original. I love how Coach tries to act like he means something. The idea worked as I want to smack him already but then again I always do.

Helms is mostly dominating here so at least they’ve got that working right. In a funny line, Coach says he isn’t sure which chin Helms is grabbing. Helms pulls a Rock and does his own commentary in the match as this is going a bit long. Uh oh it’s strap time and here comes Lawler.

They say his fists are moving like pistons. That’s just amusing in general. Lawler shouts out piledriver and somehow Helms counters it. I wonder how he figured out what to do? And Lawler hits the middle rope punch….FOR THE PIN??? WHAT IN THE FLYING HECK WAS THAT???

Rating: F. Seriously, there is ZERO justification to put Lawler over clean here as this isn’t in Memphis. No way is this ok at all. This was a failure plain and simple. Not from a wrestling perspective but from a booking and thinking one.

Lita leaves the internet place and runs into Trish. Mickie follows her in and she has no issue with losing and is now implying she wants lesbian sex with Trish.

Mama Benjamin is at catering and says this won’t do. She bends over (she weighs probably 400lbs) and Viscera’s music starts up. He likes what he sees and thrusts his lower guy at her and then at the camera. Apparently his music and lights just follow him around and apparently she doesn’t notice any of this at all. Yeah this is dumb.

Quick recap of HHH vs. Big Show, which more or less is that HHH came back from an injury and turned on Flair which ticked off Show who fought him and then cost him a spot in the Chamber tonight. HHH broke Show’s hand, leading to this.

HHH vs. Big Show

I like this actually. It’s not something that’s been beaten to death and it has a bit of potential. That being said it’s likely to suck but what are you going to do? Show has a huge cast on his hand. We get a huge stall to start. You have to say huge in any match either of these guys have. Show is actually moving a bit here which is helping a lot. When he’s motivated he’s rather entertaining to watch although it has to be in doses.

Show is dominating here early on. HHH has had no offense about three minutes in. And then Show punches the post with the cast and HHH is suddenly fine. He’s really bad about that. He at least uses some psychology and works on the hand. And there goes the cast. Well at least they got it off early. It’s kind of basic but a lot of the time that’s all you need to do.

Another important thing to note here about it: HHH is mixing things up with strikes and holds. That’s a major perk as otherwise it just isn’t as interesting. Show makes his comeback to get us to even but misses a punch and knocks the referee out cold. Great looking shot there.

The hammer comes in but a chop goes through it. More or less it’s nothing but HHH using weapons on the hand now and Show fighting as hard as he can (ok not really but work with me here) to stay alive in this. A half sledgehammer shot to the head and a bad Pedigree ends this.

Rating: D. This started off as pretty good and then just fell off a cliff. The last 6 minutes of this or so are just freaking bad and there’s no other way to put it. This was like watching two matches and at the end you just wanted it to end. If you take four minutes or so out of this, it’s an easy C at minimum. Started out great, then just went down, which is a shame.

Coach and Styles could not have less chemistry if their lived depended on it.

And let’s have two minutes of replays to affirm that HHH is in fact, awesome (allegedly).

Masters is getting ready and Carlito comes up. They’re both in the main event tonight for no explainable reason. This goes nowhere.

Ad for the Rumble.

Lawler is back.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Holy filler Batman! Something tells me this is going to suck and it’s going to suck hard. This is just boring. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Shelton is more or less powerless to do anything with this second rate Mark Henry, and that’s saying A LOT. His mother promises him a sweet potato pie for a win.

Do you see what I do for you freaking people??? She yells the entire match too and talks about getting the belt etc. Is this supposed to be funny? SHUT UP WOMAN! This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. This is one of those angles that is only to amuse Vince and nothing more. She hits Viscera with the purse and he hits a spin kick to get the win.

Rating: S. As in the stiff drink that I want. This is easily the most ridiculous and annoying thing that I have ever seen on a wrestling show. It wasn’t funny at all but they kept this up for months. THANK GOD he turned heel soon after this and this idiocy ended.

Vince wishes Shawn good luck and Shawn lists off his accomplishments which really are rather impressive. This was the beginning of Shawn vs. Vince that wound up running all summer with DX reuniting.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

It’s exactly what it sounds like and it will be just as worthless as you can imagine. The only good thing here is Lillian in a tied off jersey top. I have a thing for jerseys on women and more or less it’s a bikini top made of one. In short, she’s hotter than should be legally allowed. This is just a bra and panties match but then another comes out and they keep going. Candice and Maria starts.

Candice is about to be in Playboy here. I really hate these things. Maria wins. Torrie is next. Notice a trend here: they’ve all been in Playboy and most of them can’t wrestle to save their lives. Maria puts Torrie out. Victoria is next and she puts Maria out. And here’s Moolah and Mae as I want to shoot this. Screw it. Ashley winds up winning and of course strips anyway.

Rating: N/A. Give me wrestling please. It’s what you advertised.

Shelton and his mother again make me want to shoot someone.

We recap the Chamber and it’s just the main Raw guys other than Show and HHH in the Chamber after qualifying matches.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Naturally it takes forever to get to this match but less time than last year which is at least a plus. Cena of course gets a lot of boos. This wasn’t even the most hated that he would ever get. He starts with Shawn. Cena isn’t ready to do that yet so this is nowhere near what it sounds like. Just 18 minutes between the ending of the last “match” and the bell in this one. The fans are ALL OVER Cena here.

The Chamber really does look awesome to say the least. Cena can sell really well. Kane comes in last due to winning a Beat the Clock Challenge. He’s the odds on favorite. That’s most amusing. In third is Carlito. He means nothing at this point either and no one really knew why he was in this. Nothing at all happens here other than some potential alliances. Finally Angle comes in to wake the crowd up by suplexing the living tar out of everyone in the match.

Styles saying Angle is all impact amuses me. I mean he must throw everyone 4-5 times each. I have never seen anyone wake a match up like Angle did. Shawn is busted after being thrown into one of the cells. Good night Angle throws a pretty suplex. I mean Angle is just completely dominating. He gets the ankle lock on Shawn and then on Carlito. Masters finally comes in for the save. We’ve fought 15 minutes or so at this point and look at how little I’ve had to say.

Masters comes in and takes an ankle lock. Cena makes a save for no apparent reason and goes for the FU but Angle reverses into ANOTHER ankle lock. He’s just on freaking fire tonight. And then Shawn kicks him in the head and pins him. Yeah seriously, that’s how they get rid of him. Give me a freaking break. Ok it’s not that bad but I hate the out of nowhere ones like that.

You can tell they’re just killing time at this point as nothing at all is happening. Kane comes in so they’re all in now. I seriously couldn’t care less. This thing is boring as any and all goodness. After some brief domination, Kane chokeslams everyone but like an idiot never covers them. Carlito and Masters double team him and amazingly…it works. They do a double DDT and then a press slam of Carlito onto Kane.

At this point, it becomes somewhat clear how this is going to end and it gets dumber and dumber every second. Oh I forgot to mention that Shawn is bleeding. The problem with this match: Carlito and Chris Masters are dominating. Still, this is better than the Extreme Elimination Chamber as Shawn and Cena are at least major star power. Four of the six here were legit title guys and Carlito and Masters were solid midcard heels at the time, so it’s forgivable.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s freaking dumb and it’s bad, but it could be worse. The other four being awesome balances it out a lot. Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Carlito hits a rolling cutter (Cody Rhodes’ finisher) on Shawn to pin him. Yes, the final three are Carlito, Masters and Cena. This is freaking stupid. No one bought Cena losing for a second.

I was reading WZ and was on AIM at the same time with a girl I knew who was a Cena fan and was telling her what was going on. She went to bed at this point as it was obvious to even her, a mark, that this was ending with Cena winning. The fans are now cheering for Cena as they see the alternatives. That’s rather funny. So they double team him for about 5 minutes until the Masterlock is put on. Carlito low blows Masters and rolls him up before getting rolled up by Cena to win the match.

Rating: D. Seriously, Masters and Carlito? This is short because literally the second the match ends, Vince’s music starts playing and it becomes clear what’s going on and why the Chamber sucking means nothing, so I won’t bother going into detail on it.

Vince says the show isn’t over yet and you can hear the crowd pop like a cherry over it. He has the cage raised up. And he says that while Cena did a great job, his night is not over yet, as Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank contract and the match is NOW.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Cena is more or less dead and can’t even stand up. This is less than two minutes as Edge hits a pair of spears to win the title in a TOTAL shock.

Rating: A. I know I rarely grade matches this short, but this was absolutely brilliant. I mean NO ONE saw this coming and we all thought it was just Cena wins again and no one cares. This was legitimately shocking and it made the show ending awesome. Loved this and it’s one of the best moments of the modern era.

Overall Rating: D+. Again, this show just isn’t that good. The brand split shows were almost always awful because they have to have stuff like Viscera vs. Shelton for no reason whatsoever and no one cared but because they had 3 hours to fill and Vince was so obsessed with the split looking legit and everything that the fans got screwed over for nearly 5 years.

Flair vs. Edge and the whole ending sequence are I guess worth seeing, although the main event should really be watched if you haven’t seen it before as it’s not great at all but since it’s the Elimination Chamber and not the Extreme version it’s worth a one off look I guess. Overall though, this show just isn’t very good as it felt like a Raw with more of a budget.

This would thankfully end before too long but DANG man, this was just painful every month that wasn’t a big show. Not an awful show but just not that good. Better than last year by far though, even though I think I graded them the same. If nothing else, watch the Chamber through the end just for the crowd. I have never heard a crowd turn back and forth so much in 40 minutes in my life as a fan. Other than that, not worth it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2013
Location: Tampa Bay Times Forum, Tampa Bay, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of the year and the card is stacked. We’ve got Punk vs. Ryback in a TLC match for the world title plus the return of the Rock. Ok so maybe it’s not stacked but it has a big match and something else big going on. It’s hard to imagine Ryback winning the title tonight as we’re less than three weeks away from the Rumble and Punk vs. Rock. Things should really get going towards the Rumble tonight though so let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how awesome everything will be tonight and wants to get to the Rumble. Cue Ziggler in a hurry who says that he’ll be the thing people remember tonight instead of the Rock. I’m really thinking no on that one Ziggy. AJ (GOOD FREAKING NIGHT is she looking great tonight) says she can’t believe she spent so much time with Cena as she’s now with a real man.

AJ says Cena is a small man, causing Cena to go into a HUGE overly done bit, (complete with starting the Wave in the crowd) about how that’s a joke. They go back and forth for a bit until Ziggler says he’s in the Rumble as well. Cena says this is going to be his year and it starts tonight against Ziggler. Langston cuts a shaky promo saying Cena has someone else to worry about tonight. Apparently it’s Cena vs. Ziggler post break.

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dang they’re going all out with this “DON’T WATCH THE BALL GAME” push. Just show AJ for that long and you’ll have my attention. Ziggler grabs a headlock to start but Cena takes him to the mat with an armbar. Dolph sends Cena into the corner to take him down and does his situps. Cena rolls over into a front facelock followed by a delayed vertical suplex for two as we keep going back and forth. Langston guillotines Cena on the top and we take a break. Not much to see so far.

Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock, complete with headstands to show off. It’s still not much of a gimmick people. Cena slams him down again as AJ gets on the apron. Ziggler pops up and SMACKS Cena with a dropkick for two, followed by all those elbow drops. AJ slaps Cena in the face, earning an ejection for herself and Langston. Cena fires up his finishing sequence but Ziggler avoids the Shuffle and rolls Cena up for two.

The second attempt hits but the AA is countered into the Zig Zag for two. The jumping DDT gets two for Dolph so he goes up, only to jump into the AA. Ziggler flips out of that too and hits a close range superkick for two. There’s the sleeper but as Cena throws Ziggler off, the referee gets bumped. The STF goes on and Langston runs in to lay out Cena. The Big Ending (that stupid falling slam) only gets two as a second referee runs out. Cena loses his shoe and hits the AA for the pin at 17:04.

Rating: B. And at the end of the day, Ziggler loses AGAIN. This is why no one is taking him seriously: he loses EVERY major match he has where he doesn’t have a gimmick to help him. When he wins the title, no one is going to buy it and that’s the #1 reason why. As for the match, it was slow to start but got WAY better at the end. That being said, no one is going to see the ending because the national title game kicked off about three minutes ago.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Eve takes her to the mat to start and works on the leg. We get a crawler with TWEETS from fans regarding Rock being back. The referee tells Kaitlyn to tie her boot but Eve jumps her during the distraction. Eve hooks a neck stretch (picture a neckbreaker position but instead of just, you know, doing a neckbreaker, Eve bends Kaitlyn’s neck over her own shoulder) but gets caught in a side slam for two. Kaitlyn loads up her gutbuster, but Eve escapes, grabs the title, and runs through the crowd for the countout at 4:40.

Rating: D. CHANGE THE FREAKING TITLE ALREADY! They’ve dragged this stupid story (why do they even hate each other at this point? Does ANYONE remember why this started in the first place, and better yet, does anyone care?) on for months now and while I get that they’re waiting for the Rumble, do they really think people are going to get fired up for the freaking DIVAS TITLE?

Up next: Rhodes Scholars vs. HELL NO! ANOTHER fresh match! It’s clearly they’re just holding out for halftime of the game at this point.

Santino is in the back with Steamboat when Barrett comes in. He insults both guys and says he’s the one bringing prestige back to the title. Steamboat is going to be in Santino’s corner for his title shot tonight.

Orton is in the back to talk about the Rumble when 3MB comes up, setting up Orton vs. Slater tonight. Man they’re REALLY punting on the matches after the opener aren’t they?

HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

For all the talk about how the tag division has been reborn, these two teams really do seem to fight each other a lot. Cody and Kane start with Rhodes running away to tag in Sandow. Bryan comes in with a dropkick in the corner so it’s back to Rhodes to get kicked by Daniel. The Scholars finally get in some shots to take over on Bryan with Cody shouting about the goat face. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two as we hear about Sandow’s family being advisers to the President since the early 1800s. Well you can’t say they’re not trying.

Hot tag brings in Kane who stumbles going up top, only to come off with the clothesline on Sandow, followed by a big boot for two. Damien bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam, before coming back in to face Bryan. Daniel moonsaults out of the corner and injures his ankle, giving us a reason to extend the match even further. Everything breaks down and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 7:16.

Rating: C. So the ankle stuff wound up meaning nothing at all. Good to know. Anyway, this sets up like the third title shot for the Scholars which still doesn’t make me care about the match. This idea of “challengers lose, challengers lose, challengers win a non-title match, challengers win titles” doesn’t make for an interesting series of matches. It makes for a series that I don’t care for because it takes five matches to get through to the end counting a rematch.

Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater

They punch each other a lot to start until Orton gets clotheslined to the floor and stomped on by Mahal and McIntyre. Back in and Slater gets two off a neckbreaker but goes up and gets caught in a superplex. Here are Orton’s clotheslines and the powerslam followed by the Elevated DDT. RKO ends this clean at 4:26.

Rating: D. Yep, it’s clear they’re just letting the football game kill them here and I can’t say I blame them. Nothing on the planet is going to be able to stop that tonight, so why not just put on a weaker show until the game isn’t on and then put up your best then? It’s a strategy they’ve done before, so why not do it here?

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Wade doesn’t even get an entrance. Steamboat is in Santino’s corner for no apparent reason. The champ takes Santino to the mat and pounds away in the corner before hitting a chinlock. The pumphandle slam is escaped and a superkick to the face gets two for Marella. Santino does his usual stuff and puts on the Cobra, sending Barrett running to the floor. Back in and the Bull Hammer ends this at 2:21.

Barrett stares at Steamboat but runs as the Dragon takes his jacket off.

Sheamus is in the back to talk about the Rumble when 3MB comes up. Wow they’re not even hiding this anymore? Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. one of them later on. Sheamus sings a bit first.

Great Khali vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here and Miz is on commentary. Apparently he had an issue with Cesaro lately which I barely remember. Khali pounds away to start but Cesaro goes after the knee. We get what might be the worst big boot ever (you can see the referee between the boot and Cesaro’s head) before Cesaro makes his comeback, hitting a spinning springboard European Uppercut. Neutralizer ends this at 3:19.

Rating: C-. Points to Cesaro for both the uppercut (that looked SWEET) and the Neutralizer which is rather impressive. This was another match we’ve seen before but it fills in five minutes on this show tonight, which is the right idea. Cesaro continues to impress, which is a good sign for him.

Brad Maddox annoys Heyman again. He offers to referee the TLC match but Heyman wants nothing to do with him.

Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus

Sheamus toys with Mahal to start and kicks him into the ropes. Mahal grabs Sheamus’ trunks in a weird spot that Sheamus seems bewildered by. A hard slap to Mahal’s face doesn’t do anything but an attempt at a second one sends him to the mat. There are the ten forearms in the ropes for Mahal, and there are ten for McIntyre as well. Jinder hits a jumping knee to send Sheamus to the floor where the band mates get in some shots. Sheamus slugs him down and pulls Slater in as well. A double clothesline puts the jobbers on the floor and Slater takes the Brogue Kick. White Noise and Brogue Kick end Mahal at 4:43.

Rating: D+. This was just a comedy match and I guess a way to compare Orton and Sheamus if that’s what they were going for. Nothing special here of course, but then again what are you expecting from this show at this point? I get why they’re doing things this way, but that doesn’t make the show any easier to sit through.

Video on Punk wanting respect.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback

TLC match which was supposed to happen last month but had to be changed due to Punk’s knee injury. The fans don’t seem impressed by Ryback at all here. Ryback shoves Punk around to start until we head to the floor where Punk kicks him in the head. Punk slides in a ladder but Ryback hammers on him before anything can be done. Back in and Ryback hits a delayed spinning suplex onto the ladder, sending the champion to the floor.

Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.

Back in and Punk works over Ryback’s leg with a chair but can’t Pillmanize it. The jump off the ropes might have hurt the champion’s knee again. Ryback pounds away and hits the Meat Hook but Punk escapes the Shell Shock. They head to the floor and Ryback launches himself through a table by mistake. Punk climbs up the ladder but Ryback goes up to stop him, knocking the champ to the mat.

CM shoves the ladder over but Ryback lands on his feet. He picks Punk up and drops him onto the ladder, bending it to the point where it can’t be used anymore. Punk kicks Ryback in the head again to slow him down but can’t use the ladder to climb anymore. A knee in the corner slows Ryback down but when Punk tries the bulldog, Ryback LAUNCHES him to the floor through the table Punk set up.

Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what people expected, right down to the interference. Ryback continues to look like someone that can’t win the big one, which is why that pop he got at the beginning of the match might as well have been a group of mice cheering. We get it: Shield goes after Ryback. They’ve done that for months now and Ryback has lost to them every time. There were some good bumps in this but it was exactly the match you expected to happen.

Post break Punk denies being associated with the Shield and says he’s going to drop a pipe bomb on Rock.

Bryan and Kane argue over whose fault the loss was. Vickie pops up and says next week they have a follow up with Dr. Shelby. Another argument ensues as we enter Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny territory over whether Shelby is a nerd or a monster.

We recap Big Show vs. Ricardo from last week, which sets up Show vs. Alberto on Friday.

Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston

WMD, 15 seconds, pin. That’s some way to treat a guy who was a champion a week ago.

We recap Punk’s heel turn at Raw 1000 where he attacked Rock.

Here’s Punk before Rock can get out here. He talks about how it’s time for the Pipe Bomb, but wants to clarify what the Pipe Bomb is. It’s basically a dose of the truth. Well except for the ice cream, because no one here needs more ice cream. Punk meant everything he said in Vegas, but he became someone for the fans to cheer for. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best in the world in the WWE because there’s a glass ceiling that no one is allowed to break.

Punk goes into another rant about how the fans will cheer for anyone while guys like Bryan have to become catchphrase machines and guys like Brodus Clay have to dance with stupid kids and workhorses like Tyson Kidd have to take back seats to invisible children. The fans cheer and Punk says that’s exactly what he’s talking about.

Everyone in the past has gotten over because of the kind of business they do, except for him. He says if he was in Sammartino’s era, he would have been champion for 20 years. You didn’t see Hogan defending the title in TLC matches against Ryback. Punk says he’s successful because of himself, but rather in spite of them. He talks about how he doesn’t care about the fans and everyone who says they do is either weak or dishonest. Punk is neither though, because he’s an honest man and the best in the world.

He talks about how there are winners and losers in the world and it’s clear which one he is. For Punk, it’s never been about the fans but rather just about the money. A production guy gets up on the apron and says we have to go to a break. Punk says no because he doesn’t want to go to a break. He tells the fans they don’t matter at all and we go to a break.

Back from a break and Punk says that he’s going to be back here in a year as world champion again on the first Raw of 2014. He lists off the people he’s beaten in the last year and every single one of them has been beating the fans too. The fans don’t get to win with Rock either, because Punk is keeping the title at the Rumble.

Rock FINALLY interrupts him and the pop actually made me jump. Rock says that he wanted to hear everything Punk had to say so he knew what he was dealing with at the Rumble. Now it’s clear to the Rock that Punk is straight up delusional. Punk being champion for 414 days is incredible, but the important number is 20, because in 20 days Punk is defending the title against the Rock and then time is up.

Punk wanted a revolution and turned his back on the people, but that’s not what happened. The people turned their backs on Punk. Punk couldn’t even deliver the ice cream bars that he promised. Rock talks about how there’s no such thing as voiceless people here in the WWE because they’re going to call Punk Cookie Puss (it’s an old cake/dessert company from the 80s I believe). Punk says the people are puppets because Rock got the people chanting just like he did a year ago.

Rock says the people have already won the minute Rock woke up this morning. Rock woke up, sent out a Tweet, ate pancakes, went to the gym, got in his truck and drove here so he could stand face to face with Punk and say that FINALLY, he has come back to Tampa. He’s back to stop Punk and win the title for the first time in ten years. Rock has been watching to see someone say they respect Punk so he’ll shut up. He says Punk looks like Popeye on crack which draws a Cookie Puss chant.

Rock praises Punk’s mind but says Punk is delusional. It’s not the people that don’t matter but Punk. Punk starts into his speech but Rock says it doesn’t matter. At the Rumble, there’s nothing stopping the Rock from becoming WWE Champion. Punk lays the title down in the middle of the ring and says it doesn’t matter how often Rock comes back because Punk is going to take him out. He goes on a big rant about how Rock has never faced anyone like him again and says that at the Rumble, Rock’s arms are too short to box with God.

Rock says in 20 days, Punk’s time is up, so go home and look in the mirror and strip. Don’t look at your cookie puss but turn around so you can find a place for two more tattoos. One one cheek put a bunch of candy (“You can’t have Almond Joy because they actually have nuts) and on the other put Rock’s shoe. There’s a Rock Bottom and we’re done.

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this wasn’t a terrible show. For one thing, there was almost NOTHING stupid backstage other than a few moments that set up matches later on. They didn’t have anything huge going on other than Rock and the title match, which is the right move given what this show was up against. There was a ton of wrestling on this show and that’s what’s been missing on Raw lately, so few complaints there after a slow start.

Results

John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment

Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres via countout

Rhodes Scholars b. HELL NO – Cross Rhodes to Bryan

Randy Orton b. Heath Slater – RKO

Wade Barrett b. Santino Marella – Bull Hammer

Antonio Cesaro b. Great Khali – Neutralizer

Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick

CM Punk b. Ryback – Punk pulled down the title

Big Show b. Kofi Kingston – WMD

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