WWE vs. ECW: Head to Head
Date: June 7, 2006
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Since I’m in ECW mode at the time, I thought I’d take this one out as well. This is the one off special from just before One Night Stand as well as before the relaunch of ECW as a weekly show. I don’t really know if there was a point to this but it aired on a Wednesday night which is pretty much the only night of the week without wrestling of some kind. Let’s get to it.

This is less than a week before One Night Stand.

Foley gives the WWE guys a pep talk. They’re all in Raw or Smackdown shirts looking like matching softball teams.

Heyman does the same for the ECW boys.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tonight, plus Cena faces Sabu.

Jerry and Tazz almost get into it before the show.

Resy Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam

Rey is Smackdown world champion. The ECW guys come from the hole in the brick wall set off to the side of the main set. They’re both good guys here so they shake hands after speeding to a standoff. Van Dam hits a gorilla press slam and standing moonsault as Joey bashes WWE announcers for not calling the names of moves. Rey comes back and tries the 619 but RVD gets to the floor. Rey dropkicks him to the floor but his baseball slide is countered.

Van Dam rams him into the barricade but misses a standing legdrop to send him disappearing behind the barricade in a great looking spot. Rey hits a HUGE springboard plancha into the crowd to take out Van Dam as we take a break. Back with Rey pounding away but Rob crotches him on top and dropkicks him to the floor.

Back in the slingshot guillotine legdrop gets two. Rob gets a chair because this is No DQ all of a sudden. He hits the chair skateboard in the corner for two. That chair isn’t good enough I guess so here’s a second chair but Rey blocks it and hits a middle rope bulldog onto the chair for two. Rey tries to Drop the Dime but RVD moves and Rey crashes. Five Star ends this kind of clean.

Rating: B-. This would be the running issue for Rey’s title run: he kept losing almost every match he was in, most of the time without cheating. Rob was a big star and would win the world title on Sunday but that doesn’t mean that this was a good choice. Why did it need to be Rey and not another big name that wasn’t world champion?

We recap Orton hitting an RKO on Angle on Raw.

Here’s Angle who is now part of ECW. Heyman got two draft picks to bring over to his brand and picked Angle along with RVD. Angle snapped Orton’s ankle a few months back so there’s your story. Orton has accepted Angle’s open challenge and will be the first person to face ECW’s Kurt Angle. Here’s Orton for a rebuttal. He talks about Angle going from the main event of Wrestlemania down to ECW being like going from a summer blockbuster to hardcore adult films.

Orton is a big star on Raw and Kurt should be afraid. Kurt says this is the new ECW and Angle is part of it. Angle doesn’t have to worry about offending Vince anymore so on Sunday he’ll break Orton’s ankle, arms, legs and neck. Orton yells about how Angle broke his ankle already and that Angle got drafted for a reason: it’s destiny. Orton says he’ll win on Sunday and bring ECW to its knees and kill its legend.

Mickie James vs. Jazz

Mickie is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Jazz works on the arm to start but gets kicked to the floor where Mickie hits the Thesz Press off the apron. Back in Jazz hits her X-Factor (Jazz Stinger) for two but Mickie hits an Impaler for the pin. This was nothing.

We get a clip from Raw and the RVD/Cena contract signing. ECW guys came out and left him laying. Cena talks about how this Sunday the WWE Championship could go to ECW. This title has been held by men like Sammartino, Hogan and Austin but if Cena loses, it becomes the ECW Championship. If Cena loses, he’ll be the biggest goat in wrestler. There won’t be a single WWE fan in the Hammerstein Ballroom and if Cena wins, he’ll be in the middle of the biggest riot in wrestling history. What he’s going to do though is put his head down and start swinging. Tonight he makes his statement against Sabu. GREAT promo here.

Here’s Heyman to talk about the PPV and the debut of the new ECW TV show. This is the ECW version of looking at the graphics of the matches that you always see for a PPV build. We get a quick video on One Night Stand last year which was awesome.

Angle gives the ECW guys a pep talk before the battle royal.

Big Show does the same.

Battle Royal

We’ve got ten from each here, with WWE being Edge, Big Show, Carlito, Shelton, Finlay, Lashley, Matt Hardy, Orton, and two other guys I can’t see. The ECW guys are more or less their whole roster minus RVD. You win by team, not individually. The other two WWE guys are Tatanka and Mark Henry. For the life of me I don’t get why Tatanka was rehired. Shelton and Lashley are the midcard champions. The WWE guys (at least six of which wound up on ECW and four of which won the ECW Title) get individual entrances to kill some time. The ECW guys come out as a unit.

Dreamer goes after Edge on the floor and we’re ready to go. Henry is out almost immediately. There goes Matt as well as Guido. It’s your usual battle royal: they fight a lot and there’s no way to tell what’s going on. Tatanka is out as is Carlito. Edge hasn’t been in yet but throws out Tony Mamaluke. Orton dumps Dreamer and we take a break. Back with I’m assuming the same amount of people.

Edge is still on the floor and pulls Finlay out. There goes Credible and Snow follows him out. Richards is out and ECW is in trouble. Balls Mahoney is out thanks to Lashley but Angle throws out Lashley. So for ECW it’s Angle and Sandman and about five guys left for WWE. Big Show, Rated RKO, Finlay and Benjamin. We take the second break of the match to come back to Sandman being tossed.

Edge is chilling on the announcers’ desk. Angle dumps Benjamin but it’s still him vs. Finlay, Show, Orton and Edge. Angle suplexes the smaller guys and Angle Slams Big Show. Finlay goes after Angle but gets tossed to get it down to 3-1. Edge comes in but his spear is countered into a belly to belly to get rid of him. Orton throws Angle out to win.

Rating: D. As usual with battle royals other than the Rumble, this was boring. The problem at the end of the day with ECW is that most of their guys didn’t mean anything so they had an army of jobbers and a mercenary in Angle to lead them. That’s what caught up to them in the Invasion and it’s not helping anything here.

Oh never mind as Big Show reveals an ECW shirt and throws out Angle to win. Remember what I was saying about mercenaries? That counts apparently because all you need to do is put on a shirt to change your contract.

The ECW guys celebrate in the back.

Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is under extreme rules. Dreamer comes at him with a barbed wire 2×4 but Edge ducks and they head to the floor. Foley and Funk are at ringside. Back inside Edge takes over as the announcers bicker. Tazz defends ECW and Lawler says choking people out is ECW. The announcers ignore the match WCW style as Edge kills Dreamer with a trashcan lid. Dreamer takes the Raven drop toehold into the chair.

Edge hits the Impaler into a trashcan as JR tries to call the match. That only gets two as Lawler and Tazz are ripping into each other. At least it led to a match on Sunday. Dreamer kicks Edge low and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer and Funk get a table as Hornswoggle is brought into the argument. Dreamer loads up a superplex through the table but Lita makes the save.

Funk goes after Lita but Foley chokes him out with barbed wire. Edge loads up a powerbomb through the table but Dreamer counters with a backdrop. He totally misjudges where the table is and Edge lands mostly on his head. Death Valley Driver gets two but Lita comes in with the cane which doesn’t work. Dreamer loads up a powerbomb and gets speared for the pin.

Rating: C. The interesting thing here was the commentary rather than the match. The match was an above average hardcore match and I can’t complain much about it. Other than that though, the commentary was very different than usual as the entire match was spent arguing instead of talking about the match, which is what Styles ranted about weeks before.

Here’s Foley in the ring and he’s mad about the fans saying he sold out. He loved ECW but it didn’t love him. ECW asked too much of him and eventually he left to find fame and fortune in WWE. The difference between him and Dreamer: Foley will do anything for money but Dreamer wouldn’t sell out. Seven years ago he pulled a sock out of his pants and Vince laughed, making Foley a star. Dreamer only has his pride and ECW. Maybe the Foley vs. Edge match from Wrestlemania wasn’t as good as they thought. Maybe they’ll have to be even tougher in the Hammerstein Ballroom.

Terry Funk is still the toughest man in wrestling and can do things that no one else ever has. Funk is in pain every day that he wakes up but he wants to have one more moment. Foley blew him up in Japan and Terry hugged him. He set Funk on fire in Philadelphia and Funk put his arm around him. That’s not what Mick wants anymore. ECW is the w**** and there’s nothing that he won’t do to get back at ECW after what it did to him. Awesome stuff again here. Foley was full on heel here and he could bring it in that role.

Jerry and Tazz almost get into it again. Actually this time they do and it’s a decent brawl.

We recap Cena getting jumped two night ago to set up the main event.

John Cena vs. Sabu

This is also Extreme Rules. They start quickly and Cena drops an elbow for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Sabu sends him to the floor and dives on Cena before pelting the chair at Cena’s head. The Triple Jump Moonsault gets two. All Sabu here so far. Air Sabu gets the same. Arabian Facebuster sends Cena to the floor. Over to the table and Sabu drops a leg on Cena on the table. Sabu tries a dive in the corner but gets caught in the FU. STFU looks to finish but here’s Big Show for the DQ. In an ECW Extreme Rules match. This thing was dead on arrival.

Rating: C+. Fun match here as Cena was selling and Sabu wasn’t screwing up everything. Amazing what happens when you put someone competent in there with him and give him about six minutes. The FU to almost end it looked good too, making this a fun match ruined by a very bad ending.

The locker room empties out and a big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show but I have no idea what the point of it was. I mean, other than Big Show defecting, what was gained here? That could have been done on any show but they did it here. It’s not a bad thing but I don’t really get why it needed to exist. Still though, good show as fast paced as it was.

Here’s One Night Stand if you’re interested:

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This was a really hard one to come up with a question for.The show is a lot better than I remember it being and it was hard to find anything for debate.  The best I can do here is ask if there’s ever been a better example of passing the torch to someone else than here with Austin.  if there is, I can’t think of it.  Austin takes over as champion and is immediately the official top man in the company, which everyone knew already.  Is this the best example of that moment ever?  I’d certainly think so.

Thoughts?

Wrestlemania 14
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

We have arrived in the Attitude Era full blast now. As of last year’s Wrestlemania, it was about as obvious as possible that Austin was going to be the guy that the company put itself on for the foreseeable future. Bret was gone due to Montreal and, we didn’t know it at the time, but Shawn was on his way out. This show was based completely around storyline with wrestling thrown in on the side.

The big deal at this show was Mike Tyson. Floyd Mayweather at last year’s show was nothing but a cheap imitation of this. Tyson being on the show was absolutely mind blowing at the time as he was one of the biggest names in the world. We all knew Austin would get the belt, but with Tyson there we wanted to see how he did it. The other feud was a mind blowing one as well with Kane vs. the Undertaker.

That feud is about as epic as you can get so I’ll go into the explanation for that when it’s time. This was the first show that was completely in the new era and it’s clear that the company was going in a new direction. You can see that in the very first match of the show. Before that though, we get an excellent video talking about how the new generation is killing off the tradition of Wrestlemania, but it questions if they really are doing so. Check it out if you get the chance. Where was I? Oh yes, let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a new era in the company. This era is full of brash young men that are fighting for the same title that Hogan and Sammartino had. Tonight instead of fighting history, they will become it. Cool opening video.

With no pyro or anything, it’s time for the first match.
Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Henry/Brown), Nation of Domination (Farrooq/Kama), Quebecers, New Midnight Express (Bart Gunn and Bob Holly), Rock N Roll Express (original), Headbangers, Too Much (Too Cool), Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwins, Legion of Doom 2000
This is for a title shot the following month at Unforgiven. The LOD is returning here, managed by the epitome of sex appeal, Sunny. If you ask most people here, Sunny was one of their first crushes. Just an absolute goddess. Anyway, this is a pretty big mess of a match. The rules are that if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. The RVD sign in the crowd amuses me. The crowd is going nuts for LOD, who were always ridiculously over.

We only see the intros of Farrooq/Kama and the LOD, more or less saying who the winners are automatically. Why there’s a remix of their song I have no idea. Anyway, Animal is in shorts now and Sunny is in very little. LOUD LOD chant starts up. Everyone starts on the floor so it’s a big brawl to start. Savio goes out. There isn’t much to say here as everything is a big mess with 30 people in the ring to start.

Kurrgan comes out and eliminates the Truth Commission. Barry Windham comes out to get rid of Chainz and Bradshaw. Thankfully that clears up a bit of space here. D’lo and Henry are out. The Quebecers are out. This is going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. The original Express is out. This is annoying beyond belief.

Castillo and Estrada are out. Headbangers are out. Henry is still in there even though his partner is out. I have no idea who is left. Henry is gone finally. Too Much is gone and Lawler is mad. Uh the Godwins, the DOA, the LOD, New Midnights and that’s it. We slow WAY down and this is just boring.

The DOA is finally out. We went from like two eliminations a minute to one in three minutes. Ok the DOA is still in. Now the Godwins are out as is DOA. The Godwins get their buckets to drill LOD, making it harder for the new Midnights to pick them up and toss them as the LOD are now dead weight. Animal goes under the ropes but Hawk hangs on. I think you know the ending here. The LOD clean house and almost stereo eliminations give the old guys the win.

Rating: D-. This was awful. The ending was known far before the match ended, the eliminations were awful as they went far too fast, and there were WAY too many people in the ring at once with 30 being in there at the beginning. This team went nowhere for the most part but anytime Sunny looks like that you can’t call it a failure at all.
Light Heavyweight Championship: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

This is the epitome of filler. No one ever knew what to do with these guys so it would be Taka vs. random opponent of the month. This whole title was just a waste and I don’t think anyone missed it when it was exiled to Metal. It was clearly a response to the Crusierweights, but the problem was simple: most of the good cruiserweights were taken already.

Aside from Taka, the WWF guys had no personality, no substance to them at all, and were just dull. There was absolutely no structure to the division whatsoever. See what I’m doing here? I’m typing this out so I don’t have to be bored to death by this match. Dang it I have to watch it I guess. There was zero transition here at all either as we just start the match. No entrance for Taka either.

They slap hands to start and here we go. This is very much like the Moolah Women’s Title defenses back in the 70s and early 80s. Asai moonsault by Aguila who is only 19. We head to the floor for the second time tonight as Taka hits a huge plancha to take down Aguila.

We go into the ring and the fans go into their seats. No one cares about these guys and it’s pretty clear. There’s a reason why this division bombed and I’ve gone into it already. We go to the floor for the third time in less than three minutes. Taka counters for a bit but gets caught by a top rope armdrag.

Aguila does some great flips and we’re on the floor one more time. Nice corkscrew plancha by Aguila takes Taka down as we’re doing high spot, rest, high spot, rest, lather rinse repeat. Moonsault by Aguila gets two. Middle rope splash gets knees for Taka and the champion is in trouble. Michinoku Driver and a moonsault miss but Taka gets a counter with a dropkick and the second attempt at the Driver ends this.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but at the same time, this was rather pointless. It’s the definition of filler as there was no reason to care about any character. Only Taka got any kind of extended camera time and when the challengers are all gone a week later, why in the world should I get interested? The division never worked and those are some reasons why.

We see some woman that had something to do with Bill Clinton interviewing the Rock. This is completely hilarious as Rock is the most egomaniacal person of all time, saying that all the major issues like homelessness aren’t important as long as his lawn is clean. He’s the judge and jury and is always a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking. If my memory is right, that’s the debut of that line. He makes sex jokes about interns and is absolutely hilarious.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

This feud is a residual effect from Montreal. The time of HHH as leader of DX was on the horizon as was his face turn. That would lead to one of the best feuds of the late 90s between him and the Rock, culminating in an absolute war in the ladder match at Summerslam. Chris Warren and the DX Band play HHH to the ring. He’s champion here and Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner, during the match.

We get a quick video of Owen’s bad ankle being destroyed by Chyna and losing the title to HHH as a result. Owen never got his big match with Shawn and was more or less buried and fed to HHH who moved on to bigger stuff. Owen was given the European Title after beating Goldust to keep him appeased but the writing was totally on the wall at that point.

Setting up the handcuffs takes FOREVER. Owen comes out and the fight is on in a hurry. Bret is actually mentioned here which is odd to hear indeed. Hurricanrana gets two. Owen was insane in the ring at times for someone his size. HHHHH gets in a shot to the knee and we hit the floor. Chyna tries to interfere but gets stopped cold by Slaughter.

Owen takes over again and we go back to the ring. Sharpshooter almost goes on but HHH rakes the eyes. Hart lowers his head and gets a facebuster because of it. Well if you do it that obviously you deserve to get a knee to the face. Crotch chop to Owen. Earl Hebner isn’t here tonight and is in intensive care for some reason. He’s watching Mania though, probably thinking of how to screw over Owen for a change.

Suplex by HHH gets no cover. Jerry screams at HHH to go for the ankle but it’s a Flair knee drop instead. DDT gets two. HHH finally goes after the ankle and the big beaked Canadian is screaming in pain. Owen’s nose is busted. More ankle work but Owen gets some shots in to take over a bit. He ducks a boot and slides HHH’s balls into the post. Get Stephanie stat!

Missile dropkick gets two as the ankle is ok enough for that I guess. Quick belly to belly gets two. Enziguri puts HHH down but it reinjures the ankle and down goes Owen. The delay allows HHH to kick out before the three. Rana is blocked into a powerbomb for two for HHH. Chyna keeps trying to interfere as Owen gets a cross body for two.

Pedigree is blocked into another Sharpshooter attempt but Owen manages to fall on the little Pedigrees again for two. Owen lowers his head again and almost gets caught in the Pedigree again. Instead it’s reversed into the Sharpshooter but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes even with Sarge out there. That’s rather impressive. Chyna gets some white powder from somewhere (read as Waltman) and throws it in Slaughter’s eyes. A low blow to Owen lets HHH hit the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but they needed a few more minutes. Also the cheating at the end made the Slaughter aspect completely pointless. It’s good but there’s just not enough there to warrant a higher grade. I liked it though as Owen and HHH were both good in the ring with HHH being a shell of what he would become.

Chyna beats up Slaughter post match to a big pop just because she can.

Apparently we have some technical difficulties as Vince should be checked for a heart attack. I didn’t notice anything.

We recap Sable vs. Mero with him being starved for attention while Sable became a star. He got Goldust and Luna to help him in some weird way. This was one of the weirder angles in the early Attitude Era which is saying a lot. Luna wanted to make Sable ugly and Mero defended her, bringing Goldie into it. This takes like three minutes to explain.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna and Goldust

Oh he’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust here. I lay corrected. Mero is a boxer character here which mirrors his real life background. Goldie is of course dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Sable and Luna want to start us off. Sable is about as clueless as you could ask for. Remember that as I’ll get back to it later. Actually the guys start us off as the genders have to match here.

Off to the women as Sable gets a loud pop. Luna runs and the chase is on. Luna gets back in the ring and tags out so it’s back to the men. Mero backdrops Goldust and it’s off to Sable and Luna. Luna of course hides again like the heel she is so it’s back to Mero and Goldie again. You may notice Sable is doing NOTHING here.

Goldust gets a clothesline out of the corner to put Mero down and take over for a bit. Both guys go for cross bodies and it’s Goldust taking over again. The fans want Sable and I can’t say I blame them. She does look good here. Sable finally comes in to fight Luna and hammers away. She’s incredibly sloppy and fires “martial arts” kicks. Goldie gets drilled also and Luna is reeling.

She manages to get the tag off to Goldie so Sable hits him too. Mero beats on Goldust on the floor but can’t get a slingshot splash to come back in. Sable distracts the referee and Mero gets a low blow. TKO is countered into a DDT for two. Curtain call is reversed and Mero gets a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana gets two and a rollup from heel miscommunication does the same.

TKO isn’t as crisp as it should be but Luna saves. Sable tags herself in and tries to pin Goldust. Luna misses a splash and Sable debuts her powerbomb to get two. See, for a big move like that it should END THE MATCH. Instead she ends it a few seconds later with a bad TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here considering the star was Sable and Mero vs. Goldust was the core of this. While the did the lifting here, that still gives us the logical conclusion. Of course Sable gets the glory here by being told she’s such a great wrestler. This led to a somewhat sad story actually. After this match, Luna, a long since established veteran, claims that Sable refused to learn how to take bumps and would only get punched or slapped while Luna did all the work.

After the match, Sable was congratulated by everyone while Luna was left completely alone, with the exception of one person telling her she did well: Owen Hart. If you watch the match, you can see that Sable is completely clueless and is only able to do the two big moves that she knew. Other than that it’s all Luna. Also, Luna had always wanted to be the Women’s Champion, yet never got it because of Sable. A very sad story to me.

Jeff Jarrett and that woman from the Rock interview are presented to the crowd in a total waste of time. Oh and Tennessee Lee, the promoter of Jeff Jarrett, introduces them. He’s more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW. Thank goodness the Nation of Domination’s music plays to hurry this along.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This was an interesting little feud here. Shamrock was built up to be this fighting machine that had Rock’s number. Recently, Rock had gotten under Farooq’s, the leader of the Nation, skin, claiming that he, the Rock, was the reason for the group’s success. Four members of the Nation including the Rock are at ringside to face Shamrock. God that woman’s voice is annoying. Flowers is doing the announcing if you didn’t get that.

Shamrock really was sweet at what he did. He knew how to fight and he made sure you knew it. While never a great wrestler, he was completely legit and it made him that much more impressive sounding. Rock’s heritage is explained for the ten thousandth time, without it once being explained why his last name was Maivia and his father’s last name was Johnson.

It’s so weird because I’m watching Raw leading up to this as well as this show today so it’s kind of intriguing to see every little bit that set this up. Shamrock had been owning Rock recently and had let Rock get a clean chairshot which would get them fired today. Also Rock hit Farrooq with a chair for no apparent reason.

Shamrock sprints to the ring and it’s on. Rock ducks a lot of punches but gets kicked in the head to take him down. If Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. After some brawling on the floor it’s back in the ring and all Shamrock. The Nation interferes a bit to give Rock control as he sends Shamrock into the steps.

People’s Elbow isn’t quite of the people yet but it’s still good for two. Shamrock is up quickly, likely because it’s just an elbow. Rock is sent to the floor one more time and Shamrock grabs a chair. He shoves the referee down and Rock gets a BIG chair shot to the head for two. That was absolutely sick and is a great example of why those can be a bad thing. Shamrock does his usual stuff, grabs the ankle lock (yes, KEN SHAMROCK brought it to American pro wrestling, not Kurt Angle) for the quick tap to win the title!

Rating: C+. This was very quick but it did the job it was supposed to. Shamrock looked like an animal here and he massacred Rock with relative ease. When it was one on one Rock was completely overmatched and had to cheat to get anything going. The quick tap out was nice also.

Post match the Nation attacks and Shamrock fights them all off. Shamrock grabs the ankle lock again as Farrooq comes down. He looks at Rock and just walks away, more or less turning face. Shamrock grabs the hold again as referees and officials come down. They get their beatings too and Rock is taken out on a stretcher.

Shamrock’s eyes are FREAKY. Due to the beatings, the decision is reversed and Rock keeps the title. He goes after Rock and beats on him even more. Rock wouldn’t lose the title until August at Summerslam and Shamrock wouldn’t get it until October.

The WWF guys say they’re real athletes, which is true.

There’s a gate record tonight as there has never been a more lucrative event in this city. I find that hard to believe with Patriot games or Red Sox games.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Ago Outlaws

The backstory here is simple. Jack was feuding with the Outlaws and got tired of getting beaten up, so he got his friend Charlie, a.k.a. Terry Funk to help him. Eventually the Outlaws threw them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. This match for the tag titles is the result of that act. It’s dumpster match which means you have to put both guys in the dumpster.

Road Dogg is getting the entrance there but doesn’t quite have it yet since they’re not in DX yet. There’s a dumpster at ringside. This is far more of a brawl than a match as you would expect. They hit the floor immediately and the beating is on. It’s Cactus vs. Road Dogg and Funk vs. Gunn. Cactus tries a flip at Road Dogg but bounces off the dumpster instead.

The Outlaws are in control early and manage to get Funk into the dumpster. Roadie hits a Russian Leg Sweep to ram Cactus’ head into the dumpster. That was SICK. The Outlaws slam the lids of the dumpster on the back of the heads of their challengers. Cactus is in the dumpster while Funk is abused. Both challengers are in now and Gunn celebrates but Cactus gets up and gets a double Mandible Claw. They couldn’t shut the lid so the match isn’t over.

Funk pops out of the dumpster with a cookie sheet to hammer away some more. Cactus and Funk take turns giving neckbreakers to Road Dogg as this is a total brawl. Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet to Gunn on the floor. He looks for more toys and finds a ladder. Oh dear. Cactus and Billy climb it for no apparent reason and get launched into the dumpster.

They both get out but Funk is powerbombed into it by Billy. The Outlaws take Cactus to the back and we don’t have a camera there so we see some replays. Ah there’s a shot in the back with Cactus falling into everything. After being thrown into some massive soda bottles, Cactus finds a chair to even the odds. He puts both Outlaws on a forklift which Funk commandeers to put them in a dumpster to win the titles.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here as it was a total mess to say the least. That being said, the challengers worked VERY hard out there and it’s not like the Outlaws ever wrestled anyway. The ending would come into play the next night on raw as the Outlaws would get the decision overturned because they were put into the wrong dumpster. Later that night, the company just happened to have a steel cage handy so the titles were on the line in a cage match. DX interfered, giving the titles to the Outlaws, who finally joined DX.

Now we get to the real stuff on this card. This whole show was built around two matches: the WWF Title match, and this one right here. In what might have been the best booked “silly” feud of all time, the Undertaker was set to do battle with his brother Kane. My God this was built up perfectly. Sit back, because this is a long backstory.

After Paul Bearer betrayed Taker at Summerslam 96, Taker was going after him. Midway through the previous year when Taker was WWF Champion, he feuded with Mankind, managed by Bearer. During that feud, Bearer mentioned the name Kane. This drove Taker insane as he kept trying to cover up what this name meant. Finally Bearer revealed that it was Taker’s brother, and that Taker attempted to kill him.

This led to Bearer eventually saying that when Taker’s parents were killed in a fire, the Undertaker was the person that started the fire in an attempt to kill his parents. What wasn’t known was that his brother was in the house with them. Taker says that it was an accident and that he tried to rescue them but firefighters held him back. Bearer would go on to reveal that he was in fact Kane’s father.

This results in one of the worst beatings ever recorded on WWF television, but it ends with Paul saying that it’s the truth and that Kane told him, because Kane was still alive. Apparently Paul rescued him from the fire and cared for him for the last 20 years, which was unknown to Taker.

This was all revealed over a several month long period of time. Finally, in August, Taker was facing Shawn Michaels in the first ever Hell in a Cell match. Shawn gets one of the worst beatings of all time, but as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the lights go out and we hear organ music. An explosion goes off and a 7ft giant walks through the curtain, accompanied by Paul Bearer.

Taker is stunned as this man rips the door to the cage off and tombstones Taker, allowing Shawn to pin him. There was one key to this whole thing that made it work to me: for probably 3 months, you only heard about Kane. Until the night of the Cell match, you never saw him.

You didn’t know what he looked like, you didn’t know how he dressed, you didn’t know how big he was. You knew absolutely nothing at all but what you heard. All you knew was he was the Undertaker’s brother. After all the buildup you got about him, no matter what he looked like when you finally saw him, he was going to be awesome. That my friends, is how you build up a character.

Anyway, Kane of course wants to fight his brother. In the interest of ratings, Taker says no way. Kane begins just destroying people left and right, including two brothers named Matt and Jeff. They never did anything after that I don’t think. Kane would randomly run in and beat people up, all while begging the Undertaker to fight him.

He would come to the ring and beat up his brother, but Taker kept insisting he couldn’t fight his own flesh and blood. Kane punched him one night and raised him hand to do it again, but Taker blocked it. The crowd went nuts over him simply raising him arm. Taker didn’t fight back though and got beaten up again.

Finally, Taker and Shawn were feuding again, leading up to the Rumble. HHH kept interfering, but one night, out of absolutely nowhere, Kane helped his brother. That Sunday at the Rumble, Taker was gang attacked and Kane came out. However, he beat up his brother and shut him in the casket, costing him the match. Kane then locked it shut and set it on fire.

However, after this occurred, it was revealed that the casket was empty, prompting Paul Bearer to be absolutely terrified, knowing that Taker was still alive somewhere. Kane continued to ravage the company, until one night on Raw, the arena was covered by a blue light, and druids brought out a body on a pedestal. A bolt of lightning hit it, and the man on it rose up, revealing himself to be the Undertaker himself.

In a completely over the top yet still amazing promo, the Deadman said he will gain his revenge on his little brother, accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania. The next week on Raw, Kane was in the ring having called out his brother, yet instead Taker appeared on top of the titantron, talking about how Kane would feel his wrath. Taker then threw a lightning bolt at the stage, igniting a coffin that was standing up. Inside was an effigy of Kane, that began burning.

And that finally leads us to this. The video on the PPV took over five minutes so you know this was a long story.
Kane vs. The Undertaker

Before the match, Pete Rose appears, insulting Boston. Kane then comes out and tombstones Pete Rose, starting a three year running joke feud between the two which was rather funny in my eyes. This was kind of funny but went on too long. Rose sounds drunk too. Also, was there a need to make Kane a face for 8 seconds like that? Anyway, JR puts it just right: as Taker is about to appear, JR says, “This ovation will be not of this world.” He couldn’t’ have been more correct.

The fans all have their lighters out, they’re going crazy, Taker has a line of druids all holding up torches which he walks under, the lightning, the thunder, the smoke, and Taker dressed in his demonic attire. It was absolutely amazing looking and finally the pair face off in the middle of the ring. This is still the best entrance of his I’ve ever seen. This match might have the best build up I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Taker’s offense is no sold to start which is going to be something you read a lot in this review. Kane launches him into the corner but Taker keeps moving. Almost all Taker so far. Short clothesline by Kane but Taker pops up. Kane gets him in a Tombstone position but rams him into the buckle instead. You have to remember this is maybe the fifth match Kane had in this gimmick, at least two of which had been squashes. This isn’t something he’s used to yet.

Kane takes over and we slow things WAY down. These two seem incapable of having a good match for some reason. Taker winds up on Kane’s shoulders so Kane shoves him face first into the mat. Well kind of as it didn’t go like it was supposed to but you get the idea.

Out to the floor now as Taker is dropped across the railing. Kane drops the steps on Taker’s back as Bearer has the referee. The steps make a big sound and hit the referee in the leg, yet somehow the referee doesn’t call a DQ. Makes sense right? Taker is apparently trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Chokeslam gets two as Kane pulls his brother up.

We hit the chinlock. Now let’s time this as it goes on for FAR too long overall. Yet again we get the beginning of the Streak wrong, saying it started at Mania 8 instead of 7. Minute and a half on this particular chinlock until Taker breaks it up. A clothesline puts the more successful one down and it’s back to the chinlock. Just a minute this time as Taker lifts Kane up and puts him on the apron.

A big boot finally puts Kane on the floor. Taker dives over the ropes but Kane casually steps to the side and lets Taker crash into the table. Top rope clothesline puts Taker down again for two. You ever notice that everyone manhandles Taker better than the previous guy he fought?

Out of nowhere Taker grabs a Tombstone but Kane reverses into one of his own for a long two count. The crowd is barely alive for this by the way. Taker starts firing punches in and a big shot takes Kane down. Big boot is blocked so Taker has to settle for the Chokeslam. Taker gets the Tombstone but KANE KICKS OUT. This was unheard of as I don’t think that had ever been done.

Kane pops up so Taker has to hit a second Tombstone which AGAIN only gets two. Bearer is clutching his chest as he curses Undertaker. Taker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Kane down one more time. The THIRD Tombstone finally gets the pin as he hooks a leg and Kane kicked out at about 3.1.

Rating: D+. While not great from a technical standpoint, this match’s build up was out of this world. A fine example of the hype carrying a match rather than the in ring work. The streak is beginning to mean something now as it reaches 7-0, although I don’t think that’s mentioned for another three years. The match itself more or less sucked, but the buildup was there and enough to make it passable. Cut about 5 minutes out of this and it goes WAY up.

Kane beats up Taker with a chair post match including a Tombstone on it.

We recap Austin vs. Shawn. Basically there’s not much build up here. Austin won the Rumble and got the title shot. On Raw one night, Vince had Mike Tyson show up as a guest, but Austin got in his face, flipping him off and starting a fight. This is what planted the seeds for the Austin vs. McMahon war that went on for nearly two years. Tyson is named the enforcer referee for the title match, but joins DX in between. It was his involvement with Austin that is credited with putting the WWF over the top of WCW, so in the end this was a great move.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

If you didn’t get that, Mike Tyson is a guest referee and allegedly in Michaels’ pocket. Yep Austin is over. Austin and Tyson immediately get in each other’s faces. Tyson is actually the outside referee here which is probably better. He grabs at Austin’s foot just after the bell. As JR says, it don’t get no bigger than this. Austin flips Shawn off as we’re waiting around a bit before we get going.

Shawn scores with some fast punches and then runs like an intelligent lad. Here comes Austin though and we get the Heart Break Tights Lowering. Austin goes for the knee, I guess trying to get rid of Sweet Chin Music. Shawn, with his tights still down, gets backdropped onto DX on the floor.

HHH jumps Austin on the floor but the referee doesn’t disqualify Shawn due to it being too easy of a way out. HHH and Chyna are sent to the back to a huge pop. Austin beats up HHH by the band area because he can. Shawn drills him with a clothesline for hurting his life partner though as this is your standard Attitude Era brawl.

Back in the ring Shawn gets caught coming off the top and here comes Austin again. Flair flip in the corner and Shawn is more or less dead. Atomic drop gets two for the bald one. Austin knocks him off the apron and Shawn’s head smacks into the table. That looked sick. Austin hammers away and the elbow gets two.

We hit the chinlock as it’s clear Shawn is far weaker than he usually would be. Shawn fights back though and it’s time for the ring post. Austin pulls Shawn in and Shawn’s head rams the post instead. Nice and simple counter there. We hit the floor and Austin is sent into the crowd via a backdrop. Shawn pops him in the head with the bell which the referee didn’t see. Tyson did though and is like “I want a new rubber duckie. I’ll name it Albert and I can bite his head off in the tub!”

Back in the ring with Shawn dominating completely. He hammers away on Austin while Tyson cheers Shawn on. Shawn flips off the crowd and limps around the ring. Austin gets a kind of spear and hammers away. Shawn goes flying to the floor again and his back must just be dead. He gets the leg of Austin around the post though to reestablish his dominance.

Shawn works on the knee for a good while as he’s trying to take away the Stunner I guess. That makes sense. According to JR that’s what he’s doing at least. Austin gets knocked into the table by Shawn and Tyson throws him back in. Here’s the Figure Four from Shawn as he channels his inner other old crippled dude.

The hold goes on for a good while but Austin reverses and Shawn lets it go. Austin catapults him into the post for two and it’s time for a sleeper from Shawn. Naturally the referee is bumped and Austin hammers away. Shawn gets the forearm (minus the jump but I can accept that) and nips up.

Top rope elbow looks to kill Austin but there’s no striped shirt wearing referee. Shawn starts to tune up the band as his face looks horrible from the pain in his back. Austin ducks the kick, Shawn blocks the Stunner, Austin catches the kick, Stunner, Tyson slides in and Austin wins his first title! JR: “The Austin Era has begun.” Perfect description. Tyson puts on an Austin shirt and knocks Shawn the heck out to end the show.

Rating: B+. We all pretty much knew who was going to win here, but we watched to see how Tyson would play in and how Austin would do it. Looking back now and knowing how much pain Shawn was in because of his back, this match goes way up in impressiveness for me.

You can tell when Shawn is selling and when he’s in real pain and it’s good to see that despite Shawn being a complete jerk backstage, he would go out and perform despite the pain he was in. I don’t care how big of a jerk he was, that takes guts. This match pretty much comes down to who is going to hit their big move first.

The match itself is much better than I remember it being. That’s not saying much because I, like most people, barely remember it. We all know the ending and the buildup, but that’s about it. Good, underrated match.­

Overall Rating: B+. If there’s ever been a show where the torch was completely passed, you’re looking at it. Austin winning the title finally is as about as important of an event as you can possibly have in company history. It launched the WWF ahead of WCW in the war, although that wouldn’t be official for a few more weeks, and it was also the last time Shawn would wrestle for nearly 5 years.

However, even with the Taker match, the solid work elsewhere and only two bad matches, you really do have an all around solid show. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Skip the Light Heavyweight match and about five minutes of Taker/Kane and you’ll love the rest of it in theory.

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I’m fairly optimistic about this show.The good thing about this show is that it has no pressure on it because it’s just a stop on the way to Lockdown.  On the other hand, the bad thing about this show is that nothing on it really matters because it’s just a stop on the road to Lockdown.  What that means is that it has the potential to be something fun in the moment but that it’s probably not going to mean anything past tomorrow night.  That’s probably a good thing though, given that they’ll start the build to Lockdown soon after this.

Roode should and probably will beat Sting.  Roode has been feuding with Sting since winning the title and they need to put this behind them.  A decisive victory over Sting with a clean (as clean as you can get in a no holds barred match that is) pin would do a lot for Roode and would make him look like a bigger deal than he is right now.  Should be fun.

Storm over Ray, duh.  This doesn’t need much of an explanation.

Tag champs to retain as the Morgan vs. Crimson feud goes to Lockdown, hopefully with a turn in there somewhere.

Aries to retain, just due to me not wanting Ion on my TV screen anymore than he has to be.

Hardy over Angle but this is going to Lethal Lockdown.

Uh….Gail and AJ/Anderson win via coin flip.

The TV Title…..nobody cares.

Thoughts/predictions?

Since I’m going to start doing ECW on Sci-Fi, this show is required.  I should have put this up before the other ECW show but you get the idea.

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

I don’t think I’ve ever had a series of shows nearly demanded as much as this one so here they are. Since Great American Bash 2000 is still not done I’ll start this series and do all three in a row. This is the second One Night Stand (Two Night Stand? I hope there was at least breakfast in between) and is the first show in WWECW, as the show has been revived. Heyman has selected Angle and RVD over to his show so tonight Angle has an open challenge and RVD is cashing in MITB against Cena in a rather famous match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of the crowd and HERE’S THE BOSS! That song he had which was the theme music for ECW on TNN is still awesome. He speaks for everyone that lived the dream to be a wrestler instead of a superstar and says that the tribe of extreme has risen again. They’re going to pour their Kool-Aid down the throats of everyone and it starts here tonight. The fans chant Thank You Paulie. This is because of the fans, not Vince. Heyman says he’ll be around for the fans and says this is better than Raw and Smackdown. The guy believed in what he had if nothing else.

Theme song plays us in.

Taz vs. Jerry Lawler

They had feuded with their commentaries for weeks leading up to this. Oh before I forget: there was a show called WWE vs. ECW on a Wednesday where Big Show jumped. That show will likely be referenced a lot tonight. Lawler of course is booed out of the building. The good thing though is Lawler is one of the best natural heels that has ever walked the face of the earth so this is no problem for him.

He goes over and slaps Joey before going to the ring. The strap goes down as the bell goes off but Joey comes in and jumps on his back. Piledriver attempt but Taz grabs the Tazmission and we’re done in 30 seconds via chokeout. Exactly what it should have been and a great way to protect Taz who can’t wrestle due to his neck.

We get a clip of the previously mentioned Wednesday show where Show turned. He and Orton were the last two in and Show pulled off his Raw shirt to reveal an ECW one. Well they had to give them some star power. On the same show Cena had a hardcore match with Sabu but Show saved Sabu from tapping and a massive brawl ended the show.

Taz jumps in on commentary.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Orton does his pose on the corner and Joey hates there being fireworks in ECW. This was an open challenge to anyone from any ring “4 sided, 6 sided or 8 sided.” Orton accepted it on Monday so this wasn’t a shock. Angle is of course over like no other here and that whole psycho thing worked well for him. The arena is all smoky now and the vulgar cheers begin. Orton hits the floor and the fans aren’t thrilled at all, chanting pussy at him.

Ankle lock doesn’t work so the fans chant Angle’s Gonna Kill You. Off to a headlock in the ring as the fans curse Orton out like no other. Angle goes for the ankle again and Orton bails again. The crowd is getting to him too. Kurt grabs a double leg with ease and takes Randy down and works him like there’s no tomorrow. Angle offers Randy a free shot and says here, give me a headlock.

Kurt escapes again with a suplex but gets sent into the post to give Randy his first actual advantage. Randy hammers away and Kurt is like screw it and charges him, taking him down with ease again. That seems to be a theme in this match. The fans think Randy can’t wrestle. This is the same company that said guys like Balls Mahoney were great too.

Kurt grabs a half nelson and cranks on the arm but Orton grabs a chinlock instead. The crowd LOUDLY chants boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle finally wakes up and snaps off a German but can’t capitalize. They slug it out and Angle is able to get some clotheslines to take over. Another German and let’s Roll with those.

Snap dropkick gets two for Orton as the fans stay on him. Angle reverses into a belly to back because he likes to suplex people. Angle Slam hits for a long two because the Angle Slam isn’t really a finisher, namely due to it never finishing anyone. Ankle lock is reversed and there’s the backbreaker. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Kurt. RKO is countered into an ankle lock attempt but that fails. The next attempt doesn’t though and Orton taps.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but the chemistry was way off. Angle was destroying Orton out there and went into this big rush whenever Orton got anything going, making Orton look like an idiot out there. In one sense that’s fine but at the same time the match was kind of a mess because Orton never could get anything going. Angle would be gone in two months though so they didn’t really have to deal with it.

ECW is going to have house shows.

FBI vs. Tajiri/Super Crazy

Guido and Mamaluke here with a guy named Big Guido. The fans all chant welcome back to all four guys, even though some of them were here last year. Mamaluke isn’t tiny like he was back in the day of ECW. Tajiri breaks up a key lock by Mamaluke to tick off the Italians. Joey and Taz make fun of the whole Mexicool idea as the fans chant Nacho Libre. Technical stuff of course to start as that’s what you should expect from these guys.

Short arm scissors goes on and Crazy lifts Mamaluke up ala British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels. Taz says it’s like Backlund who is more famous for it I guess. Off to Tajiri (big pop) and Guido with the fans chanting for ECW in general. Guido grabs a very quick Fujiwara armbar but Tajiri gets a rope. That came out of nowhere. Guido really was good when he got going out there.

Tajiri gets something like an inbred cousin of the Tequila Sunrise which doesn’t last long. Tree of Woe for Guido and everything breaks down quickly. Double Tree of Woe and almost stereo baseball slides into the Italians. Crazy tries for the triple moonsaults but totally misses the bottom rope one and Mamaluke saves Guido from the others. Asai moonsault takes out the Italians though and everyone is down.

Big Guido finally gets into this and beats up Crazy like there’s nothing there. Crazy vs. Mamaluke now and Tony (Mamaluke’s first name if I missed that) throws on some fast submissions which get him nowhere. Guido kicks Crazy in the face and Tajiri is like GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT and kicks the Italians in half.

One man flapjack by Crazy sets up the tag to Tajiri and the kicks are on again. Octopus goes on Mamaluke as this has been about 1.1 sided. Handspring elbow takes out the Italians and a big kick to Guido gets two as it all breaks down again. Double Tarantula to the Italians as this is shifting to 1.05 sided. The good guys (I guess) try to take out Big Guido with kicks and that actually works. Some giant. Crazy gets taken down so Tajiri beats up the Italians for a bit until they catch him in a double Fisherman’s Buster to end it.

Rating: C. Really not sure if I agree with that ending as Tajiri was WAY more popular than anyone else in there. The Italians were a team that was funny when they had the joke right but then towards the end they blew it by making them just a regular tag team. Really not sure I get the ending there but not a bad match at all.

Big Show comes out and beats everyone up, including having what I guess is a big showdown with Big Guido.

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts Tuesday.

JBL pops up in the balcony with some other WWE guys behind him to run down WCW. The fans chant homosexual slurs which JBL has no issues shouting back at them. We get references to the Blue Meanie incident last year where JBL legitimately beat up Meanie during the big brawl to end the show. This goes into a huge anti-ECW rant where he praises Vince and bashes everything ECW stood for. This is great heel stuff and the crowd reaction mostly proves it. Oh and now JBL is the voice of Smackdown.

Get the ECW book!

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Rey is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally he’s only the World Champion here instead of the World Heavyweight Champion because that’s how they roll here. This is under extreme rules, like every other match here should be but of course isn’t because that’s not the WWE way. Rey has a chair during the big match intros. Sabu grabs one before the bell and the fans are totally behind Sabu. Joey: “Mixed reaction here for Rey.” Taz: “Nah they’re booing him.”

After some basic wrestling stuff they duel with the chairs and guess who wins that. Air Sabu in the corner but Rey gets a drop toehold to break up the Triple Jump Moonsault. 619 misses and you would think Rey had just banned rainbows. BIG chair shot sends Rey to the floor and the brawl is on. It’s table time with the table set up as a bridge between the ring and the railing.

Rey is placed on it but moves as Sabu starts setting up. Sabu gets sent into the steps and a moonsault press gets two for Rey. Camel clutch by Sabu which draws a Sheik chant. Naturally he lets it go to grab a table. Arabian Facebuster has Rey in trouble as he left the table on the floor. Table is set up in front of the aisle but Rey knocks him onto it and hits a seated senton through it to put both guys down in the aisle.

Sabu’s arm is messed up and Rey tries something like Air Sabu in the corner but Sabu gets out of the way and hits a springboard leg lariat to take Rey down. Triple Jump Moonsault gets a close two. It was more like a knee drop to the face but close enough. Sabu gets all ticked off and pelts the chair at the head of Rey to take him down. Onto the bridged table from earlier and a big front flip dive over the top through the table takes both guys out. And here are some suits to say that they can’t continue and we’re done. I’ll spare you a very long rant about how stupid this is.

Rating: C+. This would have been higher if this had a finish. Rey wasn’t used to being hated like this so they went against it for the sake of having a decent match. That being said, taking the superhero out of the match in case it got too extreme is incredibly stupid. Oh screw it. Here’s that rant I mentioned.

This is the first shot to killing ECW. Let’s take a look at some of Sabu’s more famous stuff. He’s ripped open a bicep and glued it back together to continue a match. He’s had to be cut out of barbed wire after winning a match. He’s been set on fire. He’s been put through more tables than you can count. He’s been beaten up, stomped on, kicked, smacked around, choked out and everything else you can think of, but here he can’t continue because of going through a single table.

Just think about that for a minute. How weak does that make him look? The old grizzled hero of the people now can’t take a single shot through a table by doctors’ orders. How many times do you remember a doctor being around in ECW? The very idea of a DQ in ECW was blasphemy. You can see right here how it’s a WWE show and not an ECW show at all.

This would be a sign of things to come for the company as I’ sure you remember the Zombie being on the first show on Sci-Fi. Yes, as in a dead guy that craves human flesh. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Anyway, ECW was dead and the proof should have started right here. Stupid moment as even Rey winning on a fluke pin would have made more sense here. Just terribly stupid and a way to make ECW look weak from the get go.

Anyway take a guess as to how the fans take this one. The replay shows that it was more or less a jumping DDT to Rey so he should be hurt a good deal worse.

We recap Edge/Foley vs. Dreamer/Funk. Foley and Edge had a great hardcore match at Mania and declared that he and Edge were the best hardcore guys ever. Funk and Dreamer protested and we have a match. Heyman went off on Foley, saying he was a prostitute. Oh and Edge and Foley were declared co-hardcore champions. Foley says everyone in ECW is jealous because he got the star power that none of them did. Heyman made the required tag match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way.

We take some time to clean up the carnage. Funk is still in barbed wire and him giving instructions on how to get him out of it is funny for some reason.

Cena is in the back and the heat is unreal.

RVD is getting ready and the fans are a bit more pleased.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

We recap RVD winning MITB at Mania and saying he wasn’t sure when to cash it in. He picked One Night Stand which makes perfect sense from his perspective actually. This gets the music video treatment.

The announcer gets ready to announce the match but here’s Eugene instead. Oh I don’t see this ending well at all. He says he loves ECW and says he’s Bischoff’s nephew which was forgotten by this time I think. He says he’s hardcore and thinks the boos are U for Eugene. He has a poem about ECW and the announcers blast this beyond belief.

Eugene gets through a few verses and says he wants to hug everyone…..and here’s Sandman to not Enter Sandman. The entrance takes forever but the destruction of the Eugen…gee this isn’t a nice place is it? That was the inherent flaw in the Eugene character but that’s par for the course in wrestling. Eugene runs during the beating which is rather intelligent.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

After an extended entrance from RVD, it’s time for the moment that this show is remembered for. Cena’s entrance is a sight to behold as you will never, ever see more heat on one guy no matter how long you live. There’s the famous “If Cena Wins We Riot” sign but the thing here is: they really will riot.

The start of the song gets just booing but when he steps through the curtain it’s on. You see nothing but middle fingers as he comes down the aisle and Cena holds the title up like a boxer would and just soaks it in. The big match intros make it even worse. They throw his hat and shirt back, which says a lot actually. Then they do it again. Make it three times. Would you believe four? The thing to remember: there are only 2,500 people here. Watch this match and you would seriously think it was a 15,000 seat arena. It’s that bad.

There’s the bell and Cena is shaken up. There’s the FU already. The chant to Cena, not the move. Toilet paper comes in and this is insane. They lock it up a few times and Cena shoves him into the corner as the fans say you can’t wrestle. This is Extreme Rules which I forgot to mention. Perfectplex gets two. Every single move Cena makes is being booed even louder and it seems to be legit getting to him. Can’t say I blame him but it’s weird to see from Cena.

RVD kicks him to the floor and is nothing less than divine here. They butt heads in the ring and slug it out. Powerslam gets two for the champ and a clothesline sends him to the floor. The fans chant “same old stuff” but in a bit more colorful way. Cena goes up top and drops a forearm from the top and sends Van Dam into the table. Now the fans think he’s overrated. RVD gets a moonsault press off the steps to take over out of nowhere.

Cena reverses an Irish Whip and down goes the cameraman. Out into the crowd which I give Cena legit credit for doing as I’d be scared of being stabbed or something. Cena gets draped over the railing and Van Dam hits that spinning legdrop to take both guys down. Back to the ring now but Rob gets a baseball slide and a slingshot guillotine legdrop for no cover. Skateboard chair shot in the corner gets a close two.

Rolling Thunder lands on the chair but a delay in the cover means only two. Split legged moonsault (take notes Morrison) eats knees (take better notes) and Cena gets a DDT on the chair which no one sells like Van Dam. The fans remind him that he can’t wrestle. I wonder if Vince gave the guys a similar speech when they changed the company name. With a chair wedged between the ropes, Cena gets a slingshot to send RVD’s head into it for a close two.

Cena shows he has a massive set and does You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is about as evil as you can get in ECW. FU is countered and a double leg spin kick takes Cena down. Cena cranks it up but a charge eats boot. The kick off the top is just ducked and Van Dam crashes. Crowd chants YOU STILL SUCK. RVD tries to sit Cena on the top rope (the rope itself, not the corner) but drops him to the floor. Dropkick sends Cena into the railing and it’s table time.

Table is set up in the corner by Van Dam but he turns around into the STFU. There’s a rope after a long crawl but does he really have to break it in an extreme rules match? The referee gets in Cena’s face so Cena drills him with a clothesline and crotches Rob on the top. Superplex but there’s no referee.

Cena brings in the steps and DRILLS Van Dam with them as I guess he’s a heel now as far as this match goes. A Smackdown referee comes in to count two and it’s FU time. RVD grabs the ropes so Cena sends him over the top instead. Out of NOWHERE a guy in a helmet and trenchcoat pops up to spear Cena through the table.

The helmet comes off and it’s Edge. Crowd: THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! This is the guy that tried to kill Tommy Dreamer earlier remember. Van Dam is like ok (Joey: Do it Rob, we’ll take it!”) and the Five Star hits as Heyman comes out to count the pin. This actually counted because Heyman was a WWE big shot or something like that. More or less he was the ECW GM.

Rating: B+. This is more for the crowd than the match for once. No question about it: this is required viewing to show what is meant by having the crowd make a match better than it should be. The people made RVD Cena’s equal and that was a big leap for him at this point. There was no other option for the ending, if nothing else for fear of the WWE guys’ safety. Good match, absolutely amazing visual.

RVD celebrates in the crowd as the locker room has a beer bash in the ring. Does anyone else find it really funny that Heyman never made Van Dam world champion but Vince and later Bischoff did?

Overall Rating: A. While it’s a step below last year’s, this was an awesome show with FAR better in ring stuff including two must see matches and some other decent stuff. This felt like a PPV instead of a reunion and that’s what it was supposed to be. Great show as everyone was working hard and it seemed like there was a reason for ECW to come back. Granted Van Dam was busted for drug possession in about three weeks and dropped the title and Angle would be in TNA in about four months, but we can let that go for the sake of a great show. Well worth seeing for multiple reasons.

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This is the new series that I’m going to do. There are 193 episodes of it and I think I’ve done two or three so far. This is an old one so pay no attention to the references to ECW PPVs in here. I’ll be doing two of these in a row after the Nitro reviews each time. I hope you all enjoy it.

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the heck out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2002
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to the world title being on the line with Hogan defending against Flair. Why anyone in their right mind would want to see that match in 2002 is beyond me but people have strange tastes at times. Anyway other than that there’s not much here. I think this is the go home show for Judgment Day 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of last week with Flair turning heel and beating Austin down with a chair. It’s Flair/Big Show vs. Austin at Judgment Day.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardy Boys

This was Brock’s first feud. He’s already destroyed both of them one on one so this is the next logical step. Jeff jumps Brock to start. They have to tag here and Brock runs over Jeff very quickly. Jeff comes back with a running forearm as the fans chant for Goldberg. Off to Matt who comes off the top with a punch to the head. Now the fans chant for the Mapleleafs. Brock kills him with a belly to belly and the dominance continues. Off to Jeff who screws up his jawbreaker move twice before finally hitting it. The Hardys hit a double flapjack and a double shot from the top rope….and Heyman pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until the Hardys realized that they’re one of the best teams ever and then there’s a lame DQ loss for Lesnar. What was the point of this again? Well it sets up another match at the PPV with Heyman as Lesnar’s partner. What is that supposed to solve anyway? Whatever here, as Lesnar would move up the ladder quickly.

Brock kills Jeff post match but Matt saves him and they hit the Twist/Swanton combo. Heyman makes the challenge for the aforementioned tag match.

Pac and Big Show are in the back when Flair comes in. Flair says this is the start of the new era. Hall is fired but Nash is just hurt. There’s a new NWO member tonight and the guy doesn’t even know that he’s joining tonight. Free will isn’t a popular idea in WWE is it?

Here are Flair and Show in the ring for their explanation for last week. They’re both NWO here. JR rips Flair the whole time because Flair hurt JR’s BFF last week. Flair says that his name is Ric Flair and if you know anything about this business, you have to respect it. He’s a 16 world champion you know. That makes him about 15 times better than the Leafs. He says he has a real enforcer rather than the one the Leafs have.

Flair says he owns Raw which makes him very powerful. As for Austin, Flair drafted him and then he got Stunned for his efforts. Flair tried to be his friend and even gave him carte blanche but Flair got screwed with anyway. Austin is trash, just like the fans. Now Flair can sympathize with Vince for having to deal with Austin all those years. Austin has a giant to worry about now. Tonight, Flair is giving himself a world title match, because what do these young kids know right?

After a break we’re told that the match will be No DQ.

Hogan arrives on his motorcycle.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Eddie Guerrero

Stasiak is a little nuts here. Eddie is IC Champion but this is non-title. These two ran into each other earlier today while Stasiak was going on one of his crazy man rants. He’s from Planet Stasiak and Eddie thinks they grow weed on Planet Stasiak. That offended Shawn so here’s the match as a result. RVD, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, comes out to watch. Eddie jumps Stasiak to start but Shawn takes him down. Gutwrench slam gets two. A suplex is countered and Eddie goes after the knee. Suplex, Frog Splash, pin. This was about a minute.

RVD jumps Eddie post match. Eddie grabs the mic and says that he’s going to prove he’s better. Pretty awful promo.

Coach goes looking for Austin but finds Debra instead. She says Austin wants to talk but says she’ll go get him for Coach. That’s later apparently.

Apparently later is now because Austin says Flair didn’t say anything important. This is in the height of the WHAT period so Austin speaks in very short statements. He’s not worried about Judgment Day and Flair doesn’t deserve a title match. He’ll be watching though.

Now, A Day In The Life Of Tommy Dreamer. This is during the Dreamer is a Freak stage, so we see things such as him shaving his tongue, drinking toilet water and sharing a toothbrush with his dog. Moving on.

Regal is here for commentary for the next match.

Terri vs. Molly Holly

Regal and Molly are dating or something. This is because of a swimsuit contest last week where Molly hit Terri with a flipper. Terri attacks her and hits the apex of her offense with a slam. Molly is a virgin which is all Lawler can talk about. This is horrible and Molly goes up and gets crotched. Terri hits a rana off the top (nothing special) but Molly rolls her up for the pin. If you think the Divas today are bad, Terri makes Kelly Kelly look like Ricky Steamboat.

Oh apparently Regal dating Molly starts here. Ok then.

WWE Undisputed Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

This is the world title match in 2002. Think about that for a minute. It’s No DQ as well. Hogan comes out on the motorcycle to further prove his mid life crisis. Hogan is a god in Toronto though so he gets a huge pop. To be fair, this is when Flair was 53 and he’s still in pretty decent shape, as is Hogan. It’s FAR better than when they’re in TNA and look about 80 each. Flair charges into him with doesn’t work at all.

Flair gets knocked down multiple times so he goes to get a chair which doesn’t work. He chops Hogan in the corner which goes even worse. Hogan pounds on him in the corner and we get the Flair Flop. He can’t do the Flair Flip though so he pokes Hogan in the eyes and goes up. Guess what happens next. Flair goes low and fires away in the corner. Out to the floor and Hogan takes over again with power, sending Flair into the steps face first.

Back inside and a thumb to the eye gives Flair control again. Hogan blocks the knee drop and hooks a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would say looks horrible. After Flair get the ropes, Hogan suplexes him for two. The chops still don’t work so Hogan Hulks Up (was he ever really in trouble?) and hits the boot and leg, drawing out the NWO. Bradshaw (why?) comes out to take out the NWO and Austin comes out to Stun Flair, setting up the legdrop for Hogan to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s Hogan vs. Flair which is the majority of the good stuff here. At the end of the day, Ric Flair is wrestling Hulk hogan for the world title in 2002 on Monday Night Raw, six days before Hogan defends against Undertaker on PPV. Does that seem like a problem to anyone else besides me? This was the year of nostalgia for WWE which resulted in HHH being world champion again by the fall, which is what it should have been over most of the summer. That would make too much sense though so we got this instead.

Flair goes on a rant in the back, the end results being Pac/Show vs. Bradshaw and Austin vs. the new NWO member in a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title/Hardcore Title: Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudle vs. Jazz/Steven Richards

Trish and Bubba are the challengers. Only one title can change hands here I think. This is Toronto remember so Trish gets a huge reaction. This was set up because a blind Bubba powerbombed Trish through a table so that Steven could pin her to win the Hardcore Title. The genders have to match here. Bubba throws Trish onto the champions to start and the girls go first. Richards accidentally splashes Jazz and we get the face in the balls spot. Trish and Bubba bring in weapons but Trish can’t throw anything over the top.

Everything breaks down quickly and Steven takes a hockey stick to the crotch. Justin Credible comes out with a referee, as does Crash. Neither wins the title and various comedy spots follow. Bubba kills Justin with a guitar and Richards knocks Trish to the floor. Off to Jazz and Trish has to come in despite being out on the floor. The men have disappeared and Trish fumbles through some stuff before Stratusfaction gives her the title.

Rating: D. This show is so gimmicked it’s unreal. Now this should give you a good idea of how screwed up WWE was at this point. Trish wins the title here in Toronto from Jazz right? Less than two months earlier, they had a Women’s Title match in Toronto AT WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA, but they do the switch here instead? See how off they were in 2002?

Post match Trish says get the tables. Bubba powerbombs her through it, and by that I mean he jumps through it Jazz misses the table completely.

Undertaker has nothing to say. Literally. Hogan destroyed his motorcycle last week.

We run down the Judgment Day card. The card is stacked (Cell, hair vs. hair) but it wound up sucking.

Goldust and Booker are going to be lumberjacks tonight so Goldie sings the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python. Booker for some reason is in full lumberjack gear, complete with beard. Goldust thought Booker would look ravishing in it. These two were hilarious together.

X-Pac/Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Pac has stolen Kane’s mask in a story I don’t really remember. Pac starts and gets thrown around so Bradshaw demands Big Show get in. Show knocks him down and it’s back to Pac. Powerslam gets two for the future JBL. The crowd is QUIET for this, because it’s 2002 and Bradshaw is getting a singles push for some reason. Show pulls him to the floor and throws him into the steps and it’s back to X-Pac. This is going so slowly. Bradshaw kicks Show to the floor and hits the fallaway slam on Pac. Show grabs a chair and cracks Bradshaw in the back with it and two chokeslams for the pin.

Rating: D. This NWO stuff never went anywhere at all and a lot of that is because they had no one to fight. Austin was the top guy in the company in name only in 2002, Rock was gone, Hogan didn’t do anything but nostalgia, and guys like Bradshaw weren’t going to cut it as a top guy at this point at all. The crowd reaction in Toronto, one of the loudest cities ever, being this weak should tell you a lot.

Hogan goes to leave but Coach stops him to talk about undertaker. Hogan is in a leather jacket (clearly with extra padding) and a helmet that looks like it belongs in a war propaganda movie from World War I. He’ll be a lumberjack later, despite Flair saying he was handpicking the lumberjacks. Taker attaches Hogan to the motorcycle and drags him along. It looks ridiculous and they’re going at about the speed of a brisk jog.

Post break it’s still going on and Hogan crashes into cardboard boxes. Oh man that’s hardcore. Why keeps a wall of cardboard boxes like that anyway?

Post another break we see it AGAIN. Hogan is treated for a neck injury in the back.

Steve Austin vs. ???

Flair hasn’t told the new NWO member who he is remember. This is a lumberjack match remember. Austin beats up the lumberjacks to start but the NWO jumps him. Flair says the new member is Booker T, which is kind of a heel turn I guess. Booker takes over on Austin to start and hits the side kick to take him down. Austin comes back with a spinebuster for two as Bossman pulls him to the floor.

Austin fights the lumberjacks but Lesnar takes him down and rams him into the ring a few times. Back in Austin comes back like the stuff on the floor was nothing. Thesz Press gets no reaction so Show pulls Austin to the floor. Booker hits the axe kick and we get a Spinarooni, which allows Austin to come back again. Booker throws him to the floor AGAIN for the NWO to beat on him. We get a REALLY sloppy sequence that results in Austin ramming Booker into Flair and rolling him up the pin.

Rating: F. That’s probably extreme but let’s look at this here. First of all, there’s no reason for this match to happen. Booker T was literally picked with no motivation to fight Austin. On top of that, the majority of this match was Austin vs. the NWO/lumberjacks. Third, the match SUCKED.

As Austin leaves, Arn Anderson of all people jumps him and the NWO (minus Booker) beats him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time. First and foremost, all of the matches sucked. Second, out of seven matches, TWO (Eddie vs. Stasiak and the Divas) weren’t gimmicked. Those were also the two shortest matches of the night. On top of that, the whole thing is about the NWO and the old guys. Keep in mind this: Booker was the second biggest face on Raw but now he’s NWO.

Other than him and Austin, the biggest face is probably Eddie (remember that the World Champion could be on both shows so Hogan wasn’t exclusively Raw) who would turn heel by the end of the month. That left, I kid you not, Bubba Ray Dudley, Bradshaw or Goldust as the second biggest face on Raw. Austin legitimately bailed on the company, prompting them to bring back Rock and send HHH to Raw to give it some face blood. He was turned heel by August. See why this was a bad time for Raw? Horrible show.

Here’s Judgment Day if you’re interested:

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Superstars
Date: March 15, 2012
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio/Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker, Scott Stanford

This was a request that I got yesterday and I had nothing else to do so here it is. Superstars is a show I often get requests for and for some reason I don’t ever do it. It’s the D show for WWE and is more or less there for the sake of giving the somewhat big name that they don’t have time to get on Raw and/or Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

I don’t think I’ve watched this show in like three years.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

Hunico keeps up the tradition of saying something in Spanish and then saying it again in English. Hunico uses a nice wristlock to start and flips around a bit. They fight for control over the arm and Gabriel gets a backslide for two. Hunico bails to the floor and things slow down a bit. Back in and things speed up again which Striker says favors Gabriel. I’m not sure about that but Gabriel hits a monkey flip and sends Hunico back to the floor.

In a cool move, Gabriel does something like a 619 as he swings his legs into the ring and then back out to kick Hunico in the chest. Hunico rams Justin’s back into the apron and we take a break. Back with Hunico holding a chinlock which is quickly broken. Justin tries a sunset flip but Hunico rolls through and hits a Tajiri style kick to the head. Out to the floor and Camacho gets in a shot to keep Justin down.

Back to the chinlock and then Hunico goes up. Striker makes a Super Calo reference for some reason as Hunico jumps into a dropkick. Gabriel slugs away and hits another dropkick to knock Hunico to the floor. Justin hits a springboard plancha to take out both guys in a cool spot. Springboard missile dropkick to the back gets two.

Hunico comes back with a Saito Suplex for two. Gabriel comes back but his tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. A second attempt at the DDT works and both guys are down. Gabriel sets for the 450 but has to get rid of Camacho first so Hunico crotches him. A Death Valley Driver off the middle rope gets the pin for Hunico at at 11:58.

Rating: B-. This was entertaining and longer than most matches you’ll see anymore. Gabriel is a guy that they have something solid (not great but solid) with but if he’s never going to get out of Superstars and NXT, that doesn’t mean anything. Hunico is better than I expected him to be as well but he needs to get out of the generic Mexican dude gimmick. This was a good back and forth match but it never quite got to a great level.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

Man I thought I was free of these guys off NXT. We actually hear about the Regal feud on NXT. I can’t escape that show. Kofi vs. Hawkins to start things off. Apparently Little Jimmy has named the team the Hip Hop Express. Off to Truth as the NXT guys are in trouble. A spinning legdrop gets two for Truth but it’s off to Reks. Back to Kofi who hits a middle rope forearm for two.

Reks gets a boot up in the corner as Striker calls him Rex-y. Tyler pounds him down but Truth knocks him to the floor with a leg lariat. Back to Kofi who uses Truth as a stepping stone for a somersault plancha to the outside. We take a break and come back with Kofi working on Reks. Tyler gets in a shot but charges into the pendulum kick and a top rope cross body for two.

Kofi goes after Hawkins for some reason and is sent to the floor on a low bridge. Back to Reks who gets two on Kofi. He hooks a front facelock and a modified Eye of the Hurricane for two. Hawkins puts Kofi in the Tree of Woe and fires off some kicks for two. He draws Truth in so the heels can go High Low on Kofi for two. Back to Reks who stalls a lot. Something that looked like it was going to be Snake Eyes is countered into a spinning kind of mat slam to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Truth and he cleans house. Everything breaks down and Trouble in Paradise into the Little Jimmy gets the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was standard tag team formula stuff and that’s usually the best idea you can have. That being said, I don’t like the Kofi/Truth team as there’s so much Kofi could do but instead the answer seems to be just throw him into a tag team because that’s all he’s good for I guess. I’ll never get that mindset but WWE seems stuck on it.

Raw ReBound recap the rap vs. rock thing.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Apparently Natalya has said she can beat Beth. Kelly stomps away in the corner and uses her typical stuff: handspring elbow, Stinkface, headscissor choke over the rope etc. Thesz Press puts Beth down and a rana gets two. Beth comes back and drops an elbow to the back for two.

Off to a surfboard hold and then a modified full seated full nelson. Beth beats on her but misses a charge in the corner. Kelly’s momentum lasts all of two seconds as Beth kills her with a clothesline for two. Dragon sleeper to Kelly but she makes her comeback and hits that headscissor spin of hers. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt works and gets the pin at 6:36.

Rating: D. I’ve said many times that I don’t like the Divas and that’s true for a variety of reasons. Number one of all though is probably that most of them just aren’t that good. Kelly looked like she could barely run the ropes properly and because she can do a few moves ok at best, she’s one of the top Divas in the WWE. This was the usual boring stuff from them but with more time.

Overall Rating: B-. I enjoyed it well enough for 45 minutes but it’s not something I’d watch every week I don’t think. First of all, any show that gives a Divas match six and a half minutes needs to have a curse of festering boils put on it. The problem I’d have with this show is that while the matches are ok, a lot of these guys don’t get on regular TV for a reason: they’re not that interesting. The show was decent though which is all that matters I guess, especially given that it’s basically a collection of the week’s dark matches.

Results

Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Death Valley Driver from the second rope
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Little Jimmy to Hawkins
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
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