JR said this on commentary for the 2004 Rumble and remarkably enough it’s still true heading into the 2013 edition.

The Dudleys are the only teams to win the (non-vacant) tag titles at the Rumble.  In 25 years of the Rumble, no one else has ever won them.  I love little factoids like that which you would never think of otherwise.

 

Anybody have any interesting ones?

Smackdown
Date: January 7, 2011
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

In the first show of the year we have the World Heavyweight Championship on the line in a last man standing match as well as Alberto vs. Rey in a 2/3 falls contest.  The most intriguing thing to me is if Kane vs. Edge is finished tonight, what does that mean for the Rumble?  Hopefully this doesn’t see a double countout or a tie etc as that would make me rather irritated.  Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is more or less what I just told you.  Now why can’t I get paid to do something like that?  I said more or less the same thing minus a few basic lines.

Do you know your enemy?  That’s a good question actually and I certainly don’t know mine.

After a brief opening statement from the announcers, it’s time for the main event!

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Edge has the red sunglasses back which I think he’s had recently but not for very long.  This is last man standing remember.  We get the big match intros here which isn’t something you see that often in WWE anymore.  It might be the angle of it but the belt looks quite different for some reason.  Kane puts Edge down in the corner with powerful strikes to start us off.

Edge gets a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down for about a three.  Sideslam by Kane gets another three on Edge.  The champion hits a spear to Kane while Kane is on the apron and the bald man is down on the floor.  It only gets a six though and we hit the floor.  Up the ramp they go with Kane in control.  Isn’t it amazing how a single shot in one of these matches can send one or both guys off for a good 8 feet?

They go into the back towards the concourse and Edge is slammed into a wall.  Why are the concession stands closed?  Back into the arena in the crowd with Edge blocking a chokeslam off the stands.  They fight up the steps into the luxury suites which have their own concession and merchandise stands.  Dude that’s kind of awesome.  Trashcan to the stomach of Edge breaks his momentum.

With Edge down after being rammed into various things and hammered a bit, Kane finds a flight of stairs and a wheelchair.  I think you know what’s coming here.  Edge counters at the last second and only the chair goes flying.  A big boot puts Kane down for 5.  We take a break with Edge in firm control.

Back with Edge in control still and the fight going on in the crowd near the announcers’ table.  Kane clears off the announce table but Edge manages to reverse to send Kane into the steps.  That gets a 9 which sounded a lot like ten but they kept it going anyway.  Edge does one of those jumps off the top that exist only to jump into a shot from their opponent, in this case an uppercut.

The uppercut is good for 8 and here comes Kane.  Top rope clothesline misses though and Edge gets the Edgecution to put both guys down.  Cole informs us that if it’s a tie then we keep going.  That makes me feel all tingly.  Chokeslam out of nowhere has Edge and the title in big trouble.  Edge is up and 9 and heads/falls to the floor.

Kane wants a Tombstone on the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps and the big fried freak is in trouble!  Kane gets up at ten but is down at eleven.  Edge sets for the spear but runs into a huge boot to the face to put him back down again.  That gets 9 but Kane gets a chokeslam onto the table to half kill Edge!  Striker was sent flying and is partially pinned under the table in a funny looking visual.  Edge uses Striker to pull himself back up and beat the count.  That was kind of funny actually.

The challenger is all fired up here and he throws a chair into the ring.  Make it a pair of them.  He goes up but Edge pelts a chair at his head to take Kane down one more time.  That looked sick.  BIG chair shots to the knee have Kane in big trouble.  The spear hits but Edge isn’t happy yet.  He goes out and gets the pelted chair and hits a Conchairto to the knee of Kane, which is enough to end this at 17:20 shown of 20:50.

Rating: B. This was a fun brawl with some fairly creative spots, namely Edge using Striker to get up.  I like the ending as instead of the spear it was instead the spear that set up the Conchairto to end Kane.  That’s a nice touch and it prevented the match from ending stupidly with a spear ending Kane when nothing else could.  I liked it rather well and the ending only made it better.  Good match.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

They’re certainly pushing this as a huge show with the title matches and all that jazz.  Striker calls Vickie the female version of Rosie O’Donnell.  Why are so many people obsessed with Rosie?  What has she ever done?  Nice reaction for Kofi here.  We get a quick video of last week’s match where Dolph more or less stole the win from Kofi which is true only to a degree.

Kofi hammers away to start as Cole says that Kofi needs to move on instead of trying to get the title back time and time again.  Neckbreaker by Dolph gets two.  Off to a clear choke that they’re going to call a chinlock because they want to I guess.  Splash in the corner misses though and here comes Kofi.  These two have some solid chemistry together to be sure.

A rollup by Ziggler with some tights gets two.  They’re moving very fast out there.  Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s off to the Sleeper!  Kofi simply grabs the hands and rips the hold off and gets the SOS for an incredibly close two.  Middle rope suplex is blocked by Dolph.  I know it seems like I’m flying through this but there is almost nothing between these fast moves.  After Kofi knocks Dolph off the ropes to block the suplex, the HUGE crossbody ends this perfectly clean at 5:31.  That came out of nowhere!

Rating: B. Ok, this grade is going to require some explanation as to how it can be equal to the first match and I think it might clear up a bit about my grading system in general in case some people think I’m a bit inconsistent.  While I’m giving this match the same grade, it’s certainly not as good as the first one.  There are two key differences though.

The first is that the opener was meant to be a long brawl, as evidenced by giving it nearly four times as long to work with.  That match had time to work out spots and to be a brutal fight, whereas this was supposed to be fast paced and exciting.  Different styles of match, but both well done.

Second, which ties into the first, was the ending.  Dolph literally turned around to get hit by the cross body.  Kofi is already horizontal when Dolph sees him.  I love matches that end very quickly and with moves that aren’t finishers.  To the fans it looked like another big move that Kofi would hit to get a two count.  Instead it’s over and the fans are surprised.  That’s an excellent touch and it keeps the matches interesting.

As for the match itself, one important thing to make clear is that this was NOT a squash.  Dolph was definitely in this the whole time and Kofi got a big shot in to get the win.  That’s very important as it keeps Dolph looking strong while still switching the title.  This was a very fun and fast paced match which is what you come to expect from these guys.  Good stuff.

Dolph, ever the villain, destroys Kofi post match.  Vickie gets on the mic and says that since Teddy isn’t here tonight, Dolph gets a rematch RIGHT NOW!

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

LOUD Kofi chant but he’s more or less d…..and screw that as he hits Trouble in Paradise and it’s over in 43 seconds!  That kick looked great.

Rating: B-. Well the opening 13 seconds were very weak but they picked it WAY up in the next 19.  The final 21 were completely awesome though and it definitely was good enough to make this a passable match.  Dang man those final 21 seconds with Kofi rolling Dolph over for the cover were more exciting than the entire Flair vs. Steamboat trilogy.

After a break Dolph is yelling at Vickie and telling her that was a boneheaded move.  Vickie blames him so Dolph says that maybe she should get a new boyfriend.  He leaves and she screeches in a terrifying voice.  I’ll be sleeping with the lights on tonight after hearing that.

Long recap of the cage match Monday.

Kelly is on the way to the ring when Drew stops her.  He says he’s a different person than he is out there.  This was allegedly supposed to be used for Tiffany and not Kelly, which means absolutely nothing but this is a short segment and I need something to talk about.  Drew wants to earn her trust and wants her support in his #1 contenders match tonight.  She smiles and says thanks and leaves.

Cody vs. Drew vs. Show for the #1 contender spot up next.

Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show

See I told you it was up next.  Cody does look good in the jacket.  I have to give him that.  Could Drew look any more like a natural face than he does?  And here’s Vickie of course.  She makes it a fatal fourway with Dolph thrown in too.

Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler

Drew has a headache and is still tired from the previous two matches.  Show looks very ticked off about the extra person being added in.  They all surround Show who is like screw it and beats up all three guys.  Drew is tossed to the floor first and then the other two get beaten on a bit as well.  Down to Show vs. Cody which is a mini-feud at least.  Dolph breaks up a pin by Show which gets him picked up by the hair and slammed down.

All Show for the first two minutes or so.  Channeling his inner Bobby Heenan, Cole says Show could have won this five minutes ago.  Stinkface to Cody has him gasping for air.  Show is busting out some of his old spots here like the Final Cut (Nightmare on Helm Street) and the one where he lifts up his leg and drops it onto the other guy’s chest like a standing legdrop (Wiki calls it the Showstopper but I’ve never heard that name for it before)

Drew has been in the ring maybe 20 seconds so far.  Big chop in the corner misses Dolph and Cody teams up with Dolph to beat down the Giant.  And that fails completely as Show blocks a double Irish Whip and sends both guys flying over the top with a simple tug.  Out on the floor Show is triple teamed and sent through the time keeper’s area.  He’s down but so is everyone else as we take a break.

Back with Cody vs. Dolph in the ring.  Cody goes for a moonsault but Drew shoves him off the top into the waiting arms of Big Show.  Cody gets back in to stop Drew from destroying Dolph and shouts that he’s #1.  He’s Paul Jones all of a sudden?  Drew back in now but Show is back up to a big reaction.  He picks off Drew and sends him flying on the floor and I think we’re about to pick up again.

Cody gets crushed in the corner and down goes Ziggler.  Show calls for the Chokeslam and out of nowhere Wade Barrett comes in to destroy Big Show!  A few big boots and a top rope elbow take down Show and Wade leaves.  Something to note there: Barrett just took down Show when three guys couldn’t.  Cody can’t steal the pin after the Beautiful Disaster but Ziggler manages to get the Zig Zag for two.

Futureshock gets two as this is ridiculous.  Show took a beating from Barrett, Cody’s second best move, Ziggler’s pin finisher and Drew’s finisher and is up a few seconds later.  We get that he’s a giant but don’t make him look invincible.  Cody and Dolph team up again but Dolph grabs the Zig Zag on him out of nowhere and gets the pin at 10:12 shown of 13:42.

Rating: C+. Fun match and told a decent story, but for the love of goodness I can’t stand Show being made to look invincible like he does with those power kickouts.  Doing that to one move is ok, but how weak does the Futureshock look when it can’t get a pin after all that softening up mere seconds before it?  This still was more good than it was bad though so points for that.

Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  They’re flying through this show too with maybe two backstage segments so far tonight.  Michelle charges into the corner to start but Kelly gets a choke with her legs while hanging upside down over the ropes.  Michelle fights that off with ease and goes after Kelly’s leg.  Kelly manages to get a headscissors to take her down and sets for the K2.  Michelle casually counters into the Faithbreaker to end this in 1:42.  Not quite a squash but you could call it that pretty easily.

Laycool beats down Kelly post match until Drew runs down for the save.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

2/3 falls here.  This show has been PACKED with wrestling so far at a level I haven’t see in a long time.  Before we start Alberto says that it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.  He talks about how there are pure Latinos and then the rest of them, who are car washers, gardeners, and Rey Mysterio.  I like that.

Rey starts us off here with some speed moves and wants the 619 maybe 75 seconds in.  Alberto ducks and the Cross Armbreaker makes it 1-0 in 1:37.  I was under the impression that there would be no math.  We get a graphic telling us that it’s 1-0.  Are fans really that stupid?  After a quick break we’re back with Rey in an armbar and then taking a big backbreaker to put him down again.

Rey gets sent to the floor as we debate if Rey tapped out just to break the hold, which would make sense.  A big rana takes down Alberto but Rey can’t capitalize immediately.  Alberto gets up and goes for the armbreaker again but Rey turns into it and gets a rollup for two.  619 can’t hit again but a cradle gives Rey the 1-1 tie at 8:12 (total time elapsed) and we take our second break of the match.

Back with Alberto holding another armbar as Rey is in more trouble.  Del Rio gets caught by the usual speed and leverage moves from Rey but Del Rio fights Rey off with a Codebreaker to the arm.  The fans chant 619 over and over and Rey gets a body scissors into a DDT for two.  Rey tries to go up but Del Rio gets to the ropes and down comes the masked man.  He’s caught in the Tree of Woe so Del Rio hammers away.

Alberto goes up for a suplex while being on the outside.  In other words he’s trying to suplex Rey to the floor.  Rey’s arm is really hurting him here.  I’m not sure why Alberto isn’t getting back in the ring but rather is fighting from the apron.  Rey gets a 619 around the post to take down Alberto.  Rey gets a big dive to take out Alberto and Ricardo and get a big reaction from the crowd.  Del Rio gets back in but Ricardo grabs Rey’s ankle and it’s a countout to give Del Rio the win at 11:53 shown of 18:53 total.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good for the most part but I wasn’t feeling it for some reason.  Rey losing on the countout to end the match doesn’t do it for me at all.  If you’re going to have Rey lose in the end, have it be to the armbreaker.  Del Rio still looks good but at the same time the ending feels kind of silly.  Decent match but I didn’t like it for some reason.

Rey beats up Ricardo a bit post match including a 619 and the springboard splash.

The announcers recap the show and announce Show vs. Barrett next week.

Overall Rating: A. This show was packed and it worked the whole night.  With two nearly 20 minute matches plus a title change and a new #1 contender, how in the world can you argue against this one?  Oh and I forgot that Barrett is here now too which is good as the show is dying for star power.  I really enjoyed this show with it being so wrestling heavy.  Good stuff indeed and a great way to kick off the year.

Results

Edge b. Kane – Conchairto to Kane’s Leg

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Top rope Cross Body

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Dolph Ziggler b. Cody Rhodes, Big Show and Drew McIntyre – Zig Zag to Rhodes

Michelle McCool b. Kelly Kelly – Faithbreaker

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio two falls to one

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Final Resolution 2008 (January)
Date: January 6, 2008
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

This is the last 2008 show I have before I plow into 2007 in a few weeks. The main event is Angle defending against Christian and that’s about it. There’s also what was supposed to be the midcard title in TNA as the World Beer Drinking Championship is defended by Eric Young against Eric Young. This is the January edition of Final Resolution 2008 as somehow TNA managed to have the same PPV twice in a year with one being called Final on the 6^th day of the year. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about how the show called FINAL is about how everything is new. This is set to Ride of the Valkyries. The video talks about the major matches such as Christian vs. Angle and Gail vs. Kong.

 

LAX vs. Rock and Rave Infection

 

There’s some masked chick beating up Christy (Infection’s manager) recently and she’s part of LAX. I guess that’s the main reason this is happening? Rave vs. Homicide starts us off. They fly around the ring a bit and Rave gets two off La Majistral. Homicide gets caught in the corner and Rock (Lance Rock and Jimmy Rave) throws him around with a fallaway slam. Hernandez comes in for the power match and in short, SuperMex wins.

 

Rave stops Homicide on the apron and hits an STO but almost as fast as he hits the floor, SuperMex dives over the top to take out both members of the Infection. This is going REALLY fast. Rave gets beaten down with double teaming but Rock gets in to break up a Doomsday Device style move. SuperMex is sent to the floor so now the Infection gets to double team. Dig that mirroring of each other.

 

Hernandez comes back in and hits the Crackerjack (their name not mine) which is a belly to belly over head choke throw. Hoyt, who is like 6’7, goes up for a moonsault press on Hernandez. Homicide gets back up and hits the tope con hilo to Rock. Hernandez sets for the Border Toss to Rave but Christy makes the save. Rave tries something off the top but gets crotched and Hernandez hits a middle rope Border Toss to kill Rave dead for the pin.

 

Rating: C-. It was fast paced and kind of exciting but it was so totally incoherent that it was hard to keep up with and it had no flow at all. I’ve seen worse to be sure but this was nothing interesting and nothing we haven’t see a million times. The Infection was worthless other than Christy looking great as the good looking rock chick.

 

The masked chick appears again and it’s Salinas, more famous as Shelly Martinez.

 

Here’s part one of the Drinking Championship Series. They’re playing Never Have I Ever. Storm lies about everything with Storm claiming to having killed a lion with his bare hands, caused the Detroit riots of 1967 (he was born in June of 77) and to have been to the moon.

 

AJ says he’s going to pick the Angle Alliance or the Christian Coalition tonight. AJ was portrayed as a total moron at this point where both guys were trying to lure him to their teams. He and Tomko are tag champions and Tomko says AJ is out of time.

 

We recap Kaz vs. Black Reign. Basically Reign is the alter ego of Dustin Rhodes and Dustin says he has no idea he’s going it. The fact that the guy looked just like Goldust made this even stupider.

 

Kaz vs. Black Reign

 

Kaz hits a jumping back elbow off the middle rope and then a clothesline off the apron to the floor. Reign misses a charge and Kaz kicks him to the entrance ramp. Reign looks exactly like Goldust but with black and gray instead of black and gold. Oh and he’s a lot fatter now. He kicks Kaz off the ramp and takes over with his usual slow and boring offense.

 

Basically Reign has taken the look of Goldust and taken out the interest and workrate and added in the offense of Dustin Rhodes. Off to the chinlock to keep things riveting. A diamond stunner gets two for Reign. This is one of those matches that started out interesting and has shifted into one where I could show it to Alex DeLarge while his eyes were held open.

 

They both try cross bodies but collide to put them both down. Kaz fires off some rapid kicks which help a bit. Gee what a shock: a young non-Texas cowboy gets on offense and the match instantly gets better. He does that in the corner but dives out to the apron for a slingshot DDT for two. Spinning legdrop misses but whatever the Curtain Call is known as is reversed into a spinning downward spiral for the pin.

 

Rating: D. With Kaz on offense it’s watchable but Dustin is just so boring when he’s in control and it cripples the rest of the match whenever it’s happening. This was boring almost the whole way through and it didn’t work at all. Reign would become a monster along with Rellik soon, resulting in one of the stupidest angles I’ve ever seen.

 

Kaz steals Reign’s rat post match.

 

JB is with Angle and Karen and he (JB) is freaking out about AJ. Angle says chill and reminds JB he’s an interviewer. Karen says chill because it’s all cool. JB answers to Karen saying honey. She has a plan to take care of AJ and leaves. Kurt sends JB after him.

 

We recap Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong. She beat Kong for the first championship and Kong has been hunting for her since. Tonight it’s No DQ for the title.

 

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

 

We’re on the floor almost immediately and Kong is all crazy and strong. She tries to Awesome Bomb Gail through the table but Gail fights out of it. Back inside and Kong chokes away with the boot. Off to a sleeper and Kong spins her around while still having the hold on. Gail gets up on the top but is caught by a spinning backfist and she’s almost out cold. Total massacre so far.

 

Gail is holding her knee after falling. I’m sorry for the play by play but there’s nothing to say here as it’s more or less a squash so far. They go into the crowd and Gail fires off some right hands but that gets her tossed around. Kim fires off more shots but can’t hurt Kong. She manages to find a weapon though. Gail gets her hands on the most lethal thing she can: an empty plastic Coke bottle. She whacks Kong a few times with it and Kong sells for some reason.

 

Gail makes Kong miss and the big chick crashes into a wall. Kong’s arm is sent into the post and a chair is kicked into her face. This is almost like Vader vs. Flair at Starrcade 93 as Gail absorbed the beating to open the match and had to keep hammering away until she got in a shot somehow to break the momentum. Back inside the spinning backfist takes Kim down and all that work Gail did seems to be forgotten.

 

Awesome Bomb is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a missed drop. Kim goes up and does one of those moves where the whole point is to jump into a move and it looks really stupid as she lands in a chokeslam. Not happy with a count, Kong hits an Awesome Bomb on the referee and it’s the fat one. Gail gets a chair and cracks Kong three times with it to put her down. A top rope splash hits but there’s no referee. Oh wait yes there is and it gets two. Gail walks into another chokeslam for two and Kong is mad. She goes to Awesome Bomb the other referee but Kim rolls her up for the pin to retain.

 

Rating: B. See, this is the big difference between the Divas and the Knockouts. The Divas have matches that are supposed to be impressive because they involve girls. The Knockouts have matches that are like regular matches but happen to have participants who look good in tight shorts. This could have been good with men or women in it, which is a great sign.

 

Karen goes to look for AJ in the men’s room. She finds him and says she wants to relieve him of his tension. ODB walks out of a stall and kills the move. See she’s cool because she’s gross and acts like a man. It’s good right? She leaves and Karen kisses AJ on the cheek and sex is implied.

 

We recap Abyss vs. Judas Mesias which is part of the WAY too long story of Abyss vs. James Mitchell. At this point I’m not sure what we know but we would find out that Mitchell is Abyss’ father and he shot Mitchell in the head, sending him to prison. Mitchell got him out of prison and brought in his other son, Abyss’ step brother, for a war.

 

Mitchell says there’s a secret only he and Abyss know which must be that Abyss is the son.

 

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

 

Abyss seems happy to just hit running forearms that are supposed to be clotheslines. Mesias isn’t a very big guy. We head to the floor quickly and Abyss’ leg is wrapped around the post. Psychology in an Abyss match? Now I’ve seen everything. Mesias puts on a knee bar but his finisher, Straight to Hell, misses. Abyss looks for tacks and Mitchell tiptoes away. I was wrong: I hadn’t seen a man in a purple suit tiptoe away with a bag of tacks.

 

Mesias gets up on the steps and poses before…stepping down off the steps. He jumps into a chokeslam position back in the ring. The knee is ok enough for a running splash by Abyss. Sidewalk slam gets two. A chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope. It takes a bit but Mesias’ cabeza finally goes into it and a chokeslam gets two. Mitchell is back now with a different bag than he left with.

 

Abyss finds a barbed wire chair. Remember when Punk was on commentary on Raw and said security around here sucks? Well refereeing around TNA sucks harder. The distraction from that chair lets Mesias get a regular chair shot in to Abyss’ head and a top rope splash for two. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but Mitchell has the referee. Mesias spryas blood into Abyss’ face and the Straight to Hell (jumping downward spiral) puts Abyss onto the barbed wire chair for the academic pin.

 

Rating: C-. Eh it’s a big brawl with weapons featuring Abyss. This happens on almost every show they have so it’s not exactly something that you can get excited about. Mesias wouldn’t be around for very long and he was only there as a piece in this feud which went on for like two years. Either way, not horrible but just another Abyss hardcore match minus the hardcore rules.

 

Post match Mitchell wants to know if Abyss wants to tell the truth and Abyss says no. Mesias pulls a gas can out of the bag and it’s barbecue time. Security breaks it up.

 

Nash says that even though he and Joe aren’t the best of friends but he’ll try to make money. He also hits on the interviewer who seems interested. Dinner is implied.

 

We recap Booker/Sharmell vs. Miss Brooks (Traci)/Robert Roode. Roode was a VERY boring DiBiase knockoff and I never got the appeal of him as a singles guy around this time. His current singles run is better but this is still the stigma he has to him. It’s a mixed tag tonight.

 

Booker and Sharmell say she’s not a wrestler but she can fight.

 

Sharmell/Booker T vs. Miss Brooks/Robert Roode

 

Peyton Banks, a currently unnamed but hot big chested blonde, is stalking Roode as his biggest fan. Roode stalls a lot after the bell and I think the genders have to match. After the frist few minutes we don’t have much going on. Everyone is waiting on the catfight and it doesn’t help that Roode wasn’t nearly as good as he would become in a few years after he and Storm tore up the tag division. Booker controls to start before Roode takes over with some basic stuff like a DDT.

 

Booker fires off a hook kick and Roode looks a little loopy. They kind of botch a leapfrog and Roode hits a bad dropkick to put Booker down. Traci won’t help Roode cheat because Roode is forcing her to do all this stuff. She finally trips Booker to get one of the girls involved after about 5 minutes. Sharmell still hasn’t done anything yet. Off to a chinlock and the fans aren’t impressed.

 

The side kick misses and Booker gets hung up on the ropes. Roode hits the Blockbuster to finally get the crowd going a bit. By a bit I mean they stop chanting boring for a few seconds. Roode wants Traci to slap Booker but almost cries when she has to do it. SHARMELL IS IN!!! Oh wait it’s just one foot. The girls have been worthless here. Roode goes over to yell at her and slaps her hand away which is deemed a tag. We get into a catfight and Roode is on the apron. Sharmell shoves her into Roode and rolls her up for the pin. The girls were in for about 45 seconds.

 

Rating: D-. Hey TNA, if the girls aren’t very good in the ring, DON’T HAVE THEM BE IN THE MATCH!!! I know Sharmell isn’t a wrestler but that’s why she’s not in the ring often. The match was boring on top of that as Roode just wasn’t an interesting guy at this point. He’s only a bit more interesting now which is why I’m skeptical about his singles push. Either way, bad match but more boring than bad.

 

Post match Roode goes off on Traci and slaps him. He gets in her face in the corner and Sharmell goes in for the save. Roode accidentally punches her and Booker FREAKS. Make that everyone freaks. This feud would go on for like 4 more months.

 

The interviewer is freaking about the punch and Christian is a great jerk, saying yeah it’s tragic now ask me some questions already. He says he doesn’t need any help tonight and says that AJ has potential. Yeah AJ at this point was treated like a bumbling idiot and a midcard guy despite being a three time world champion. Christian says Karen’s seductions aren’t going to work.

 

Time for more of the Drinking Championships which is who can hold more beer in their bladders. You figure out the rest of it. Young wins and this was a waste of about 90 seconds.

 

We recap the X Division vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine. Lethal is the X Champion and tonight it’s an Ultimate X match for honor. Not for the title which Devine stole the possession of, but for honor.

 

Motor City Machineguns/Jay Lethal vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

 

I can’t get this company at times. Devine stole the belt from the champion Lethal and the title is hanging above the ring. However, this isn’t for the title. Seriously, how stupid can this company get? There’s another stupid reason that I’ll get to after the match. Just to further the idiocy, Tenay and West are all somber about Sharmell and her injury and then during 3D’s entrance video you can hear them laughing.

 

Ray talks about how they’ve been training for this and they’re in great shape. This goes on for awhile because Devine has to climb up and hang the belt. FINALLY Lethal’s music cuts him off. The guns hit the ring and we’re ready to go. Both of the Guns have hand injuries due to Team 3D thinking about something than peach cobbler for once. The heels take over quickly and it’s already table time.

 

Make that two tables for a double powerbomb but Lethal makes the save. Shelley goes for the belt but hit hands give out. Sabin takes Bubba out with a springboard clothesline but he can’t climb either. Lethal is fine and gets about halfway but Devine makes the save. Devine has some very unattractive thighs. He also gets dropped on the back of his head but the Guns as they spin him off the cables. That looked painful.

 

Team 3D tries to jump to reach the title but they have a combined six inch vertical leap. The fans chant ECW but no, ECW wasn’t this dumb. Ray goes up to a corner but Lethal gets out in front of him. Instead of TURNING AROUND AND TAKING THE FREAKING BELT, he makes fun of Ray and falls down. Good. He deserves to fall on his stupid head.

 

Ray tries a Macho Elbow (called a legdrop by West which is more accurate as the leg would have hit instead of the elbow) but he’s too fat and it takes too long. Devine gets something like a Codebreaker to Lethal and goes up but is caught in an atomic drop from the top by Shelley. A slingshot DDT by Sabin leaves the Guns in control for maybe 3 seconds. Shelley gets his hands cracked again by Ray and a kendo stick as does Sabin.

 

We get an old Superfly/Andre moment as D-Von gets on Ray’s shoulders but the real Cruiserweights make the save. D-Von, Lethal and Devine try a triple person tower spot and it looks AWFUL as Lethal lands on his head after being on top. There goes the referee because gimmick matches need ref bumps.

 

Ray uses the chance to get a ladder which is said to be against an unwritten rule by Mike. Ok so ladders are officially legal. Got it. The Guns make the save but here’s Devine with the kendo stick again. He goes up the ladder but Sabin shoves him off, onto the tables. THE TABLES DON’T BREAK and Devine bounces off of them. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

 

Sabin walks into a 3D from 3D and Lethal shows how stupid he is by springboarding into two guys holding a ladder. Guess what happens there. D-Von goes up and gets the belt but there’s no ref. The referee asks the fans if he cheated and the fans say he did but it’s good enough I guess.

 

Rating: C-. Ultimate X gets points because it’s Ultimate X but this had so many stupid moments to it that it took me out of the match. From stuff like Lethal taunting Ray when he could have won the match to the match not being for the title to the ladder deal and the match being pretty boring by comparison to other matches.

 

That other stupid reason I mentioned? Devine won the title on Impact about 11 days after this. SO WHY WOULDN’T THEY HAVE HIM WIN IT HERE??? Sweet merciful cheese this company is stupid.

 

We recap the tag title match which is Joe/Nash vs. Tomko/AJ. The idea was that at Turning Point, Hall no showed the event and Joe cut a mostly shoot promo about how the “superstars” were taking the pay and the limelight while the wrestlers weren’t out there at all because the old guys won’t let them. Nash said Joe wasn’t ready yet and this is borderline shoot in its own right. Cornette decided to make a tag title match for some reason, which was what Joe was complaining about so I’m not sure how the fat boy wins here but whatever.

 

Joe says he and Nash care cool and maybe he was wrong about Hall and Nash. He also wants it to be about wrestling and not about drama.

 

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash vs. Tomko/AJ Styles

 

AJ and Joe go to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Joe grabs a leg lock but AJ makes a rope. Tag off to Nash who had some good matches with AJ so this should be interesting. AJ starts making him miss and goes for the knee. Tomko tags himself in and the knee still doesn’t work well for Nash. Off to a leg lock as I guess we’re hoping for a hot tag to Joe later. I’m not sure if Nash is the right guy to work the majority of a match but whatever.

 

Nash manages to grab a side slam on Tomko so hopefully we’ll get a tag soon. Ah good there’s fat boy against Styles so this is almost automatically good. The Samoan hits a Samoan on Tomko and Nash’s knee is suddenly fine as he can hit a big boot. AJ takes Joe down with a springboard dropkick and Tomko chokes away. AJ does his leapfrog/hit the mat/dropkick sequence.

 

Tomko back in and it’s chinlock time. I think Joe thinks it’s hot fudge sundae time. AJ comes in for a bridging Indian Deathlock but Joe breaks that quickly as AJ isn’t Samoan nor a submission machine. Tomko gets a DDT for two. It’s probably a good thing Joe is doing most of the work here as there’s not a ton you can do with a guy Nash’s size, namely because he’s just too tall.

 

AJ rakes the eyes but Joe clocks him. Styles is knocked to the apron and tries a springboard rana but Joe kills him with a powerbomb. Tomko takes Nash down and and Joe takes Tomko down with a scoop powerslam. Joe goes to tag Nash and Nash walks out. It’s one of those matches. Joe escapes the champs’ double team finisher (Tornadoplex) and has to fight for his life (say it’s his supper and he’ll REALLY fight).

 

He gets a MuscleBuster on AJ but Tomko saves, drawing a Thank You Tomko chant. Even the fans are tired of the wacky tag partners and I can’t say I’m particularly disagreeing with them. I’m not sure why Joe would want to be Nash’s partner but I guess pride or something. The numbers catch up to Joe and the Tornadoplex (side slam/neckbreaker combo) ends this.

 

Rating: D+. Boring match all around as the whole point was Joe and Nash don’t get along but they got along for about five minutes. This is a TNA/WCW standard: get to the PPV and then TUNE INTO NITRO to find out why all this happened. This is another feud that went on for months and this was just another small stop in that feud. Not much to see here but it was watchable.

 

We now get the final part of the Drinking Championship, all of which is happening yesterday/last night. They’re playing high low with cards and the loser has to take a shot, first to pass out loses. Jackie flashes Eric and Storm spikes his drink to win. This was so stupid. This means Storm gets a match of his choice at Against All Odds against Young. He picked a…..wait for it……wait for it…..A NORMAL MATCH!!!

 

JB tells Kurt about what Karen did earlier and Kurt isn’t happy. Angle says he’ll win.

 

We recap Angle vs. Christian. Ok so basically both guys are fighting over who gets Tomko and AJ and both of them are being recruited I guess. Tomko picked Angle and AJ hasn’t picked anyone yet which is the running story on this show. It’s heel vs. heel for the most part here…I think.

 

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

 

Angle’s eyes are weird looking here and it looks like he has eyeliner on. The fans are all over Angle here so I guess Christian is face by default. Christian tries to wrestle Kurt and that goes badly. He tries a headlock instead and manages to escape a belly to belly. Angle gets him on the mat and hooks an arm trap headlock. They have a lot of time so this slow start is fine.

 

Christian hits a flapjack for his first big move and slaps the back of Kurt’s head to tick him off. Unprettier is countered and we hit the mat again. Christian gets up and we go to the floor with Christian hitting that big dive that he’s known to do. Back in the Canadian jumps into a belly to belly which sends him over the top again in a cool visual.

 

Kurt works on the neck and gets a knee to the ribs for two. Christian is on the floor again and Karen adds in some shots of his own. Back in and Kurt hooks a rear naked choke. This slow build is very slow in this case and it’s getting a bit dull. They go up to the ropes and Kurt backdrops him off the middle rope. That was a new one. The moonsault hits for two in another rare one.

 

Christian grabs a DDT to break up the champ’s momentum. The reverse version looks to set up the frog splash and yeah I guess Christian is the face. The interview earlier would imply otherwise but since when has TNA made sense? The splash misses and the American hits some Germans on the Canadian. Angle looks at the ankle like he wants to make sweet love to it down by the pond but the Slam is countered as is the Unprettier and a pair of ankle locks, resulting in a small package for two for the Canadian.

 

He goes up but Kurt grabs the ankle while Christian is on the top. He kicks Kurt off but Kurt gets the running suplex for two and it’s back to the ankle. We’re still waiting on AJ’s interference. Christian hooks a Texas cloverleaf which Kurt escapes again. The Slam is countered again into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Christian goes up again but Karen distracts him. Ok to be fair with a rack like that it’s hard not to be distracted. Kurt tries another running suplex but Christian bites his head and shoves him down for the frog splash for two.

 

Kurt hits him low and hits the Slam for two. Is anyone really surprised that it only got two? I mean seriously? Kurt gets his 19^th ankle lock but it’s rolled through and Kurt almost hits Karen. That distraction lets Christian hit a not perfect Unprettier for two. Now Christian puts on the ankle lock and Kurt taps because he’s a heel. Karen has the referee and does again as AJ comes out. He hugs Christian but then hits him in the back, letting Kurt get the Slam to retain.

 

Rating: B-. Think Russo is booking? The whole match is about who does the run-in run-in for and then there’s a swerve with that too. It’s a good match and they were starting to get pretty good at the end but it was nothing classic. For a PPV main event though it’s perfectly fine. AJ would finally turn face a few months later but who cares about something like that?

 

A highlight package of the main event takes us out.

 

Overall Rating: C-. If I had to sum this up in one word, I’d go with forgettable. The best match of the night is either the main event or Kong vs. Gail and both of those are just pretty good. It would lead to Kurt vs. AJ and an awesome series of matches between them and Joe’s time on top which was a good period for TNA. As for this show though, there wasn’t anything great about it which is kind of the situation for the company as a whole at this point: not bad, but nothing great at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This year’s Rumble is often called the greatest ever, but I wonder how much of that is because of Bobby Heenan’s masterful commentary. The WWF Title is on the line in the Rumble, which to date (2012) is the only time this has ever happened. I could see that being a really good stipulation again, but for some reason it never has again. I remember loving this show so let’s get to it.

We start with the usual listing of most of the people in the Rumble, all of whom are #1 contenders I suppose.

Heenan is betting on Flair for tonight’s Rumble. Also we’ve got a NEW Intercontinental Champion as Mountie has beaten Bret Hart over the weekend. Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.

Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.

Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.

It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.

We get a clip from the house show where Mountie won the IC Title from Bret. Post match he kept beating on Bret but Roddy Piper came out for the save.

Jimmy and Mountie brag about winning the title. Mountie is ready for Piper tonight.

Piper is ready for Mountie and tells Mountie to just try to take his manhood.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Hogan says he has no friends in the Rumble tonight. He talks to Lord Alfred Hayes about tea because Hayes is British and that’s about it.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison…..oh geez it’s him. This is one of the most annoying characters in wrestling history. He’s supposed to be the ultimate nerd, with a nasal voice, taped up glasses, a suit that doesn’t fit, and every other stereotype you can think of. Oh and he smells like sardines apparently. Let’s get this over with.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

This is more about the managers (Genius and Jamison respectively) more than the teams. Jamison chews on his tie as the Whackers do their arm thing to the audience. The Whackers lick each other and Jamison pulls out a roll for a snack. One of the Beverlies slaps Butch in the head so the Beverlies get chased to the floor. We FINALLY get started with Blake vs. Luke with the blonde (the Beverlies) in control.

The Beverly gets bitten on the tights and the Whackers clear the ring again. Jamison throws bread at Genius as the match stalls again. Now Jamison blows his nose in his sock. The fans don’t care at all here. Beau comes in now to beat on Butch but for the third time in like five minutes the Whackers clear the ring again. The Beverlies try to sneak up on the Whackers but keep getting chased off.

Double teaming to Luke’s back finally gets us down to a match, but let’s keep the camera on Jamison. Jamison keeps chewing on his tie as this keeps up the dullness. A guillotine gets two on Luke as we hit the highlight of the match. No seriously, other than that it’s been “comedy” and punching. Genius slaps Jamison to no reaction from anyone at all. A neckbreaker and legdrop hit Luke for no cover. Luke gets away with a move that I’m too bored to remember and it’s off to Butch. Things break down and Beau hits a top rope ax handle on Butch for the pin.

Rating: T. As in The Worst Match In Rumble History. Literally. Up to this point the Rumble has had some dull matches but this was absolutely horrible. There’s nothing of value here at all and it went on for FIFTEEN MINUTES. The Beverlies weren’t even over so this just kept going and going without ever getting anywhere. Absolutely terrible.

Jamison kicks Genius in the shin post match in another moment that gets no reaction.

The LOD says they’ll still have the belts after tonight and the Disasters’ tongues will be hanging out like dead deer. Did I mention Hawk was pretty insane at this point?

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

LOD is defending here. Typhoon (formerly Tugboat) and Hawk start things off. They collide a few times with no one going anywhere so Hawk goes up and takes Typhoon down with a top rope clothesline. Off to Quake who Hawk can’t hurt either. A dropkick doesn’t have any effect so Hawk convinces Quake to try one of his own. Guess how well that one goes. Off to Animal for a slugout which is a draw.

Animal starts hitting the ropes and speeds WAY up before they hit a double clothesline to put both guys down. Animal picks up Quake for a slam but can’t turn him over, giving Quake two. Off to Typhoon who gets kicked in the face and clotheslined down. Back to the Bird Man as we get a lot more of the collisions that went over so well earlier. Typhoon finally takes him down and Hawk is in trouble via a lot of back pain.

It’s time for the hallmark of any power match: the bearhug. Quake comes back in and walks over Hawk a few times. Back to the bearhug for a little more time killing until it’s finally back to Animal. Everybody brawls to the floor and it’s a lame double countout. Oh wait Typhoon got back in so the Disasters win. Sure why not.

Rating: D. I love the LOD but this match sucked. At the end of the day, this was the totally wrong matchup for them as their entire offense revolved around throwing people around. This was around the time when Hawk was literally on the verge of a breakdown every day but Vince couldn’t quite convince then to drop the titles, until they did it on a house show which was never aired because LOD didn’t want to lose their heat. It was a different time to say the least.

The Disasters and Hart yell in the back a lot.

Roddy Piper is all fired up about winning the title and dedicates the win to his son Colt. He wants the world title now.

We get a clip from the Barber Shop incident where Shawn turned heel, igniting his singles push in the greatest team split ever.

Ric Flair says he drew #3 but when your name is Ric Flair, that’s not a problem. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so Heenan doesn’t know yet.

Time for the interviews from people in the Rumble: Savage, Sid, Repo Man, Bulldog, Roberts, Flair (with Perfect talking with him too. You know, because Flair needs someone to talk for him), Undertaker (Bearer talks for him a bit too) and Hogan.

We get a statement from the biggest waste of oxygen that has ever been a boss in wrestling, Jack Tunney. He basically says the winner of this (he forgets the name of the Rumble) is the world champion. As he’s talking, here’s a recap of the title situation. Taker beat Hogan for the title at Survivor Series but Flair interfered. Hogan got a rematch about a week later but also kind of cheated to win it back. The title was vacated and put up for grabs in this year’s Rumble, making it by far the biggest Rumble of all time up to that point.

Royal Rumble

Davey Boy Smith is #1 and DiBiase is #2. The slugout is on quickly with Bulldog pounding away but getting sent to the apron. DiBiase stops paying attention and doesn’t realize that Smith didn’t hit the floor. A clothesline is enough to get rid of DiBiase and leave Bulldog alone in the ring. In at #3: Ric Flair. Heenan: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Gorilla starts listing off stats about how Flair has no chance and Heenan explodes. He says he can’t be objective and you can hear Gorilla roll his eyes.

The gorilla press puts Flair down but he pokes Smith in the eyes to get a breather. It’s only temporary though as Davey clotheslines him down. Jerry Sags is #4 and HE BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! Smith gets double teamed as Heenan is trying to figure out how long Flair would have to be in the match. Smith comes back with a double clothesline and knocks Sags out. Notice how they’re keeping the ring emptier here, which is a very good change from the 1991 version.

Haku is #5 and he immediately goes after Smith. Flair goes after Haku, sending Heenan into another fit. “HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” Flair heads to the floor under the rope as Haku hits a piledriver on Smith. Flair goes after Haku again and hits the knee drop. Haku pounds on Ric in the corner but Smith tosses the Tongan. Shawn Michaels is #6 and he starts firing away punches to Flair. A superkick drops Flair and a gorilla press drops Shawn. I’ll let you guess who slammed Michaels.

Flair comes back to drop both guys as Heenan wants a drink. His panic in every line he says is great stuff. Shawn gets caught on the ropes and crotched, followed by Davey throwing him to the apron. Tito Santana is #7 as we get down to a decent tag match, another Rumble tradition. Flair gets Smith to the apron but Tito saves. In far less than two minutes, it’s Barbarian at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody. When I managed him he barely liked me!”

Things slow down a bit as Davey keeps getting sent to the apron. Flair tries to dump Tito and Shawn at the same time but can’t get either guy out. Texas Tornado is #9 and Heenan is losing it. “THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER!” Von Erich goes right after Flair before shifting over to Michaels. Smith slingshots Michaels, who has to jump a LONG way to get to the buckle.

Santana stomps on Flair as Repo Man is #10. Santana hits a cross body on Barbarian and Flair hits Tornado with LOUD chops. Valentine is #11 and he gets in a chopping match with Flair. Shawn is literally hanging on by his feet. Nikolai Volkoff is #12 (Heenan: “A 320lb Lithuanian!” but Repo Man dumps him in about a minute. Apparently he was a sub for Jannetty after the window thing. That makes more sense. While that’s going on, Valentine has Flair in the Figure Four to send Heenan into a new level of panic.

The Boss Man is #13 and he punches everyone in sight. Valentine is out and Shawn starts his goofy selling. Boss Man throws out Repo Man, giving us a current grouping of Von Erich, Michaels, Boss Man, Haku, Santana, Smith and Flair. Flair backdrops Smith out and does the same to Von Erich in just a few seconds. Hercules is #14 as Santana and Shawn eliminate each other.

Barbarian helps Flair with Boss Man, so Flair turns on Barbarian because he, you know, Flair. Hercules dumps Barbarian so Flair dumps Hercules. It’s Boss Man and Flair alone now as Heenan needs oxygen. Boss Man hits a spin kick of all things and a right hand, but misses a charge and eliminates himself. Heenan: “FLAIR WINS!”

Piper is #15 and the crowd is right back into this. We’re clearly into the second stage now and Heenan LOSES IT. Piper backdrops him down and they head to the floor for a bit. Back in and Piper goes old school with an airplane spin, making Bobby want to cry. There’s the sleeper but Jake Roberts is #16. This is when he’s pure evil so the crowd goes into a hush. Jake sits in the corner as Flair is still in the sleeper.

Roberts finally breaks up the hold and works over Piper before hitting the short clothesline o Flair. Piper breaks up the DDT (Heenan: “Oh thank you Piper. It’s not a skirt, it’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts Jake in the Figure Four, only to have Piper stomp away on Ric (Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD DIRTY SKUNK! IT IS A SKIRT!”). Jim Duggan is #17 and he immediately goes after Flair in the corner.

Jake atomic drops Duggan to put all four guys on the mat for a breather. IRS is #18 and he too goes after Flair. Duggan grabs IRS by the tie (Heenan: “He’s got him by the tongue!”) and pounds away. Duggan saves Piper for no apparent reason and Flair gets beaten up some more. Snuka is #19 and for some reason he saves Flair. Snuka headbutts Duggan which has no effect on either guy of course. Flair, ever the grateful guy, pokes Snuka in the eye.

Piper chops Flair half to death in the corner and the Undertaker is #20. At the moment we’ve got Taker, Flair, Piper, Snuka, IRS, Roberts and Duggan in the ring. Taker immediately knocks out Snuka, so Flair goes after the Dead Man. Heenan: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” Duggan goes over to Taker and is immediately kicked in the balls. We get one of the major clock issues that would happen throughout the match, as Gorilla says Flair has been in there over 42 minutes. The whole match hasn’t even gone 38 yet and Flair didn’t even start. This will get stretched even farther later.

IRS goes to the middle rope for some reason but hops down a few seconds later. Taker grabs Duggan and Flair by the throat as Randy Savage is #21. Roberts immediately hides on the floor until Taker decks Savage. Randy ducks Jake’s short clothesline and ERUPTS on him, eliminating Roberts via a high knee. Savage screws up by jumping over the top to get to Roberts. Taker goes to the floor and throws him back in, but Savage goes after Jake again. The ruling is that Savage wasn’t thrown to the floor so he’s still in. Ignore Andre eliminating himself in 1989 of course.

Flair comes back with a low blow on Taker which has zero effect at all. Berzerker is #22 and we’ve got IRS, Berzerker, Duggan, Savage, Flair, Piper and Undertaker. Berzerker hits a choke bomb on Savage as Virgil is #23. Everyone goes into one corner of the ring for some reason, with Flair chopping at Taker like a schmuck. Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is #24. Things slow down a bit as we need someone to come in and clear things out. Rick Martel is #25 and he pounds on the other Ric in the corner.

Savage dumps Mustafa and gets chokes by Taker for his efforts. Hogan is #26 (does he EVER get a bad number?) and he goes right for Taker and Flair. Heenan starts bargaining with God as Martel is sent through the ropes to the floor. Hogan clotheslines Taker out and dumps Berzerker as well. Duggan and Virgil put each other out as the ring clears up a lot. Skinner is #27, giving us Skinner, Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Martel and IRS.

Hogan puts Flair on the apron as Heenan wants another drink. A clothesline puts Flair down again and Sgt. Slaughter is #28. Someone dumps Skinner as Flair officially gets the Rumble record. Sure why not. Sid Justice is #29 and he goes for IRS. Flair pounds on Hogan before shifting over to Sid. Flair pulls Sid to the mat but Sid nips up and clotheslines him down. Warlord is #30, giving us a final grouping of Martel, Piper, Hogan, Flair, Savage, Sid, Slaughter, IRS and Warlord.

Hogan and Flair fight on the floor with Flair getting suplexed. Slaughter gets eliminated by Sid and Hogan kicks Flair down. Piper is sent to the apron by IRS but Piper grabs the tie to eliminate the tax dude. Hogan Hulks Up on Flair but stops to eliminate Warlord with Sid’s help. Justice dumps Martel and Piper, giving us a final four of Savage, Flair, Hogan and Sid. That’s quite a group.

Sid tosses Savage and Flair tries to chop Hogan in the corner because that’s what Ric Flair does. In a famous ending, Hogan punches Flair to the apron but as he’s dumping Ric out, Sid comes up from behind to dump Hulk. Hogan grabs Sid’s arm, allowing Flair to come up from behind and dump Justice, giving Flair the title and send Bobby into orgasmic bliss.

Rating: A. This is Ric Flair’s coming out party in the WWF and it worked perfectly. There are a few down parts to it and while the 1990 edition was more consistently exciting and had a better overall structure, this was all about drama. It also helps that the match actually meant something, as the title was officially on the line. Excellent Rumble and a true surprise to see Flair win the title.

Sid and Hogan have a shoving match post match, setting up their match at Wrestlemania.

Jack Tunney presents an exhausted Flair with the title in the back. Flair gives a victory speech, saying this is the greatest moment in his life. He says this is the only title that means you’re the best in the world and Heenan gushes some more.

Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because the stuff before the Rumble is HORRIBLE. The Rumble however is a masterpiece with Flair and it more than saves the show. There’s nothing else on the card that you would want to watch, other than maybe the Piper title win if you’re a big fan of the guy. Other than that though, there’s nothing to see here other than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Mountie

Original: B

Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F-

Redo: T (For The Worst Match In Rumble History)

Natural Disasters vs. Legion of Doom

Original: D

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

Other than Piper, this is almost the same set of ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-1992/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Triple Mania XX
Date: August 5, 2012
Location: Arena Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Andres Maronas, Arturo Rivera, Jesus Zuniga, Leo Riano

This is another request as I’m actually building up a bit of a history with AAA. I did their famous When Worlds Collide show (not sure why it’s famous but it kind of is) and Triplemania 18, which is their biggest show of the year. At that show, a group called Los Perros Del Mal debuted and started an invasion storyline. Since then, the group has merged with like five other groups to form La Sociedad, which has about 25-30 members. The main event tonight is a member of one of those stables, Mascara Ano 2000 vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. in a mask vs. mask match. I speak enough Spanish to get the gist of this show so let’s get to it.

This show is also an annual memorial to Antonio Pena, the founder of the company who died in I think 1994. The opening video is a partial tribute to him and also a rundown of the card, which has two tag teams representing Joaquin Roldan and Dorian Roldan (father and son who hate each other) with the losing team’s boss getting his head shaved. Dorian’s team is Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle so you’ll at least know some people.

We open with house show dates. That’s not exactly the best way to fire up an audience for a super show.

The opening video in the arena is about the Roldans and their drama. Basically one heads AAA and one heads La Sociedad, which is the invading group I mentioned earlier. This is treated as the main event of the show even though there’s another lucha de apuesta match (betting match, usually mask vs. mask or hair vs. hair or something like that) and a world title match after it.

The set is basically a Titantron sat on the stage which is similar to what late WCW had, meaning it’s not bad at all.

A bunch of girls in barely there dresses bring out banners and flags to open things up in the arena. This is set to the instrumental montage music from Rocky IV. That’s totally awesome.

Faby Apache/Fenix/Octagoncito/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Dark Dragon/Mini Charly Manson/Sexy Star/Yuriko

From what I can tell, this is a Relevos Atomicos de locura match, which means there’s a male wrestler (Fenix/Dark Dragon), a female wrestler (Faby Apache/Sexy Star, who is women’s champion), a mini (Octagoncito/Mini Charly Manson) and an exotico (Pimpinela Escarlata/Yuriko), which is literally a transvestite wrestler. Now there’s a cultural difference for you. As best as I can gather, the rules are your usual eight person tag rules. I think Sexy Star is on the heel team.

I have almost no idea who these people are so I’ll do my best to keep track of this. The referee gets an ovation too for some reason. The exoticos start things off and Escarlata is the one with short hair. Got it. The ring is HUGE and six sided ala old school TNA. Escarlata runs the ropes a lot and takes Yuriko over with a sloppy headscissors before strutting a bit.

Off to Apache vs. Star which I believe is a big rivalry. This is lucha rules (duh) which means sending someone to the floor is the same as them tagging out. Star is sent to the outside and I think Dark Dragon comes in to mess with Faby’s hair. An armdrag puts Dragon down and it’s off to Octagoncito. Yeah that was Dragon because Octagon (yes I’m well aware that Octagon is a totally different guy but I’m calling Octagoncito Octagon in this match for the sake of it’s easier to type) gets to face Mini Charly Manson for a bit now. I apologize for explaining so much but I have almost no idea what’s going on and I’m watching the stuff.

Octagon flies around a lot and uses a lot of spins and dives to annoy Manson before it’s off to Dragon who kicks Octagon’s head off. Now Dragon is headscissored to the floor and Octagon takes him out with a dive. The rest of the heels work on Fenix who is sent to the floor and into the apron by Dragon. Now it’s Escarlata getting worked over by the heels. This is REALLY fast paced stuff. Dragon comes off the top with a double stomp I think to the groin, and now it’s Faby’s turn to get beaten up.

Everything stays broken down and Octagon takes a gutbuster from Star. The heels are in total control at the moment and everyone is beating up everyone. Escarlata is quadruple teamed in the corner but Fenix and Octagon come back in off the top for the save. Now the face team is alone in the ring until we get down to Star vs. Fenix. Star wears a mask and has long blonde hair for you visual people out there. Fenix hits an awkward looking kick to the head in the corner before it’s back to Dragon. Dragon tries to throw Fenix into the air but gets caught in an INSANE midair flip into a rana. That looked AWESOME.

A top rope knee drop to Dragon’s head looks to finish but Yuriko makes the save. Octagon comes in with a HARD kick to the back and hits what we would call Wasteland to set up a corkscrew plancha off the top for two. Off to Escarlata vs. Star with the exotico hooking an over the back backbreaker. Manson comes in and takes Escarlata down with a northern lights suplex, only for Faby to take him down with a sitout Pedigree for two.

Dragon makes the save and pulls Apache’s hair before hitting a freaky kind of spinning driver for two. Escarlata jumps into Dragon’s arms and kisses him, sending Dragon to the floor. A big dive takes the Dragon out so Star dives on both of them (looked awesome too), followed by a dive from Octagon. Fenix hits a 360 moonsault to take out all four, as Yuriko slams Faby down. Apache pops up and grabs a rolling armbar on Yuriko for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. I have no idea who most of these people are or what in the world was going on with the exoticos, but this was a very fun opener. The crowd was into it the whole time and the big dives were awesome. This Fenix guy seems like someone who could do very well as a high flier ala Sin Cara or an old school WCW cruiserweight. Star is good looking and can dive, but she seems content to be the top chick in AAA and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Tribute video to Antonio Pena.

La Hermanadad 187 vs. Chessman/Juventud Guerrera vs. La Familia de Tijuana vs. Hart Foundation 2.0

La Hermanadad is Joe Lider and Psychosis, La Familia is Extreme Tiger and Halloween and the Hart Foundation is Jack Evans and Teddy Hart. This is a Parejas Suicidas cage match, which means it’s escape rules. The only team left in the ring has to face each other later in the night in a lucha de apuesta match. Apparently Lider and Psychosis are back together for one night only after Psychosis (who is wearing his mask again) was burned by an errant fireball.

Chessman is a tag champion with Abyss here but is teaming with Juvy for some reason. Speaking of Juvy, he’s Cruiserweight Champion, back in his mask, and comes out to Enter Sandman of all songs. As the announcer is doing the intros, La Hermanadad destroys everyone with chairs. Tiger gets up too and works over Lider, hitting a big double stomp off the top onto his chest.

Halloween climbs to the top of the cage for a huge dive, thinks better of it, and climbs down to escape. Smart man that painted freak. There are weapons in the cage too. That’s about the extent of the commentary I can give you here as everyone is fighting everyone and there’s no structure to the match at all, which is fine. Halloween is sitting in the aisle with a soda cheering Extreme Tiger on.

Someone ranas Tiger onto a trashcan and Lider hits a knee to the face of Evans. Tiger dropkicks a trashcan into Psychosis’ face as Guerrera escapes. Tiger gets on one of the beams across the top of the cage as Psychosis does the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot. Tiger hits a HUGE dive onto Halloween and Juvy, officially taking La Familia out of the match. In your twist of the match, Psychosis and Lider are fighting on top of the beam with Psychosis firing staples into Lider’s head. They’re partners but they entered the match for a chance to fight each other later. Psychosis gets to the floor.

To recap we have Lider, Evans, Hart and Chessman in the ring still. Evans does one of his WAY overdone flips to Lider before climbing the cage and moonsaulting off the beam. Evans escapes, leaving us with three people inside the cage. Halloween now has some popcorn to go with that soda. Hart hits some backbreakers on both guys followed by a moonsault off the cage.

Hart easily escapes and we’re down to Chessman vs. Lider. Lider crushes Chessman against a ladder and goes up, accepting help from Psychosis despite wanting to fight him. Chessman kicks Lider down though and escapes to send La Hermanadad to a match later tonight.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t so much of a match as much as it was a trainwreck with the focus entirely being on Lider and Psychosis. They were a long running feud so the blowoff being here tonight is a good thing and makes the most sense. The other teams were just kind of there but we got dives off the cage and the fans were into it which is a good thing.

Vampiro pops up post match and sends Chessman off the cage and through some tables. Chessman does a stretcher job.

Perry Aguayo is announced as the next inductee into the AAA Hall of Fame. Aguayo comes out and receives a plaque after giving a speech. As Perro celebrates, Mascara Ano 2000 and someone else from El Consejo come out and Mascara talks about losing his mask to Perro years ago. A challenge is thrown out for a hair vs. hair match, but since Perro is in his mid 60s he turns it down. For clarification’s sake, this is Mascara Ano 2000 senior. It’s his son that’s in the main event tonight.

Dorian Roldan, the Jarretts and Angle say they’ll win.

We recap the Psycho Circus vs. Consejo match. Best I can tell, they don’t like each other.

Los Psycho Circus/La Parka vs. El Consejo/Octagon

This is different than L.A. Park who we’ll see later. It’s the same gimmick but played by a different guy, which doesn’t sound like much but it was a HUGE ordeal back in the day and actually main evented this show two years ago. Los Psycho Circus is a group of clowns famous for a long winning streak and comprised of Murder Clown, Monster Clown and Psycho Clown.

El Consejo is Semental, El Texano Jr. and Toscano (the leader). La Parka comes out to Thriller and has ZOMBIE DANCERS, thereby making him awesome. This is a Relevos Australianos match, meaning the only way to win is to beat a captain, which would be Parka or Octagon. Usually these matches are 2/3 falls but this is one fall to a finish for no apparent reason.

Octagon jumps Parka in the aisle and the fight is on quickly. They’re old partners who hate each other now. I know I say this a lot, but I have absolutely no idea who most of these people are. One of the Consejo guys gets whipped by a belt to the back. As best as I can tell, Murder Clown is the big guy, and also the one launched through the air into a splash on a member of Consejo against the ropes. It doesn’t help that tagging doesn’t seem to be a rule in this tag match.

I think Psycho Clown gets triple teamed in the corner and triple kicked in the ribs as Octagon beats on Parka in the corner. Now we actually do settle down into a regular tag match with La Parka avoiding some double teaming, resulting in heel miscommunication. La Parka causes Octagon to kick two of his own partners before heading to the floor. Psycho and Monster come in and cause more heel miscommunication, followed by Murder Clown accidentally dropkicking both of his tent mates.

We get a WAY overdone six man tower of doom double superplex out of the corner before Parka dives on a heel on the floor. I believe it was Texano who got in a kick to one of the clowns before being sent to the floor as well. Apparently that was Monster Clown and he follows the guy I believe to be Texano to the floor with a big dive.

Psycho backdrops the other Consejo guy onto the two already outside before diving on both of them. Murder Clown goes up for the HUGE dive to take everyone out. That leaves the captains alone in the ring until Semental (FINALLY I’m sure who one of them is) tries to hold La Parka, only to get kicked low by mistake. In the confusion, Parka rolls up Octagon for the pin.

Rating: C-. Despite the fact that I spent most of the match trying to figure out who in the world I was watching, this was only ok. They basically took two feuds here and put them together into a single match, which is usually ok but when you have eight guys in those two feuds, it can be a little hard to keep track of. Also, Octagon and Parka came off as guys who happened to be opponents rather than people that hate each other, which brought the match down even more. It’s not bad though.

Post match Consejo attacks Octagon until La Parka makes the save. He asks Octagon to leave La Sociedad, but Octagon walks away. Consejo attacks Los Psycho Circus as a consolation prize.

Psychosis vs. Joe Lider

Psychosis hits Lider in the head with a chair before Lider’s name graphic can appear on screen. Lider shrugs it off and smacks Psychosis with a chair of his own before taking Psychosis’ mask. Apparently he’s insisting that this is a hair vs. hair match instead of a mask vs. hair match. That makes sense because, in the words of Chris Rock regarding Psychosis: “WE KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!”

Lider, who has his head taped up from the staplegun attack earlier, goes after Psychosis with the same gun and the fans freak out. A neckbreaker puts Lider down because staples into the head doesn’t slow anyone down apparently. Psychosis grabs a pair of chairs (where do these things come from? No one went to the floor to get them and they were in the ring when the match started. Did I wake up in WWF War Zone?) and crushes Lider’s head a few times.

Psychosis goes up but has a trashcan (again, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?) placed on his head before getting slammed down onto the mat. Lider finds a ladder and smacks Psychosis in the head with it as we head to the apron. Psychosis fights back and slams Lider’s back into the apron before loading up a table against the apron. Back in and Psychosis goes up while holding a chair, only to get crotched on the top.

A top rope rana sends Psychosis into a trashcan for a VERY close two, which seems to be due to a crooked referee. Psychosis is part of Los Perros Del Mal which is part of La Sociedad. A chair shot puts Psychosis down and we’ve got a table. It’s already bent though, so Psychosis piles stuff on top of it. He goes up top and gets crotched again but as Lider loads up a superplex, Psychosis counters into a flip piledriver onto the ladder for the pin and Lider’s hair.

Rating: D. This match comes down to one question: do you like hardcore wrestling? If you do, you’ll like this match. If you don’t like it, you’ll hate this one. I’m not a fan of it and the match didn’t work as a result. Apparently this is a big and long feud so the people watching this would be more impressed with it than I was. I didn’t like the match for the most part but at least it was relatively short.

Psychosis puts Lider onto a pile of tacks before Lider gets a haircut.

Lider and Psychosis brawl even more in the back, meaning this likely isn’t over.

Jeff Jarrett/Kurt Angle vs. Electroshock/L.A. Park

Jeff, ever the super heel, throws tortillas to the fans as he comes to the ring. This is the battle of the Roldans, which is Dorian vs. Joaquin respectively. The losing team’s Roldan gets his head shaved. I always forget how hot Karen Jarrett is. Park has Bad to the Bone as his theme music, making him the coolest luchador I’ve seen so far tonight. Also he’s dropped the skeleton attire and looks like a big monster in blue which is pretty awesome.

Electroshock and Angle start things off and Kurt will have none of this handshake stuff. Instead he easily takes Electroshock to the mat and we start with some technical stuff. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly but gets dropkicked in the back when he poses. Off to Jarrett, who I believe holds the record for longest time as AAA World Champion. A spinwheel kick takes Jarrett to the floor as we hear about the members of the Foreign Legion over the years, which is almost every major non-WWE star since 1994 (yes even Sting).

Off to Park who fires off some kicks to Jeff but gets suplexed down by Angle for two. Park avoids a charge in the corner and dances a bit before snapping off a powerslam on Angle.

Jeff jumps Park from behind to take over but Electroshock gets the tag anyway. Park gets knocked to the floor and double teamed before Angle goes back in to beat on Electroshock a bit more. Kurt puts on a chinlock and Dorian comes in for some cheap shots as Jeff has the referee.

Jarrett comes back in and decks Park as Electroshock rolls to the outside. Karen tries to interfere but the referee grabs her by the hair and shakes her around. TAKE THAT HEBNER! Jeff kicks Electroshock low and Dorian gets in again. He gets in some more cheap shots and his papa weakly comes in to chase him off. With Electroshock in trouble, Dorian comes in AGAIN. The fans go nuts for something but the camera is so all over the place that I have no idea what I’m supposed to be happy over. Oh Dorian got ejected. Makes sense now.

As Dorian is leaving, he runs into Abyss of all people. Apparently Abyss is part of La Sociedad and escorts Dorian back to ringside because who is going to tell him not to? Karen kicks Park on the floor as Abyss pounds on Electroshock. Back in and Electroshock gets in a shot to Kurt’s face and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Park. House is cleaned but Abyss comes in and takes Park down. That doesn’t last long as Park knocks Abyss down and out to the floor, followed by a suicide dive for a BIG pop.

Dorian tries to come in again but his dad FINALLY does something about it. I’m not sure what that something was but apparently it was supposed to be a clothesline. The referee gets bumped (like it matters) and can’t count the pin on Jarrett. Abyss chokeslams Park (which is a confusing name given Abyss’ real name/brother character in TNA) but Electroshock comes in out of nowhere and hits a cutter on Angle for the pin to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: C+. It was overbooked but I think that’s more par for the course in Mexico than it is in America which means I can’t criticize it as a result. Good formula tag match here with the ending being exactly what the fans wanted to see. This would be the same as an AMERICAN team beating some foreign invaders which is one of the best and most sure ways to fire up a crowd. Good stuff here.

Dorian tries to run but Joaquin says come get what you earned. Konnan is here too and looks to be in shock. From what I can find/translate, Joaquin offers to let Dorian keep his hair if he’ll disband La Sociedad and rejoin the family. That must be what Konnan (the co-leader) was freaked out by. Dorian actually agrees, sending Jarrett into panic.

Joaquin says it’s done then but Park says no it isn’t and wants the hair gone. I think he tells Joaquin to be a father…..so Joaquin shaves his own hair? The father and son embrace…..BUT IT’S A SWERVE!!! Dorian decks his father and Angle, Jarrett and Abyss hold off Electroshock and Park so Dorian can shave his father’s head.

AAA World Title: Hijo De Perro Aguayo vs. El Mesias

Mesias is defending and Aguayo is the leader of Los Perros Del Mal and basically started the whole invasion. The fans are split here because Mesias (and his second, Cibernetico) are really popular but so are Los Perros. Apparently Aguayo put Mesias out for a few months earlier in the year to set this up. Oh and Aguayo won the King of Kings tournament. It’s a fast start with both guys running the ropes, only to have Aguayo clothesline Mesias down.

They trade some very fast armdrags before the champ hits a Thesz Press and some very slow punches. The fans don’t seem thrilled by Mesias so far. Aguayo misses a charge and falls to the floor where Cibernetico and Hector Garza, Aguayo’s second, talk a lot of trash to each other. Mesias rams Aguayo into the announce table a few times before heading back in for an X Factor for no cover.

A superplex gets two on Aguayo but he comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over. There’s another of those magically appearing chairs but it doesn’t get used yet. Now we’ve got a table in the corner which isn’t going to be used yet apparently. Aguayo puts the chair on Mesias’ chest and hits a top rope double stomp for two as Cibernetico pulls the referee out. Aguayo loads up a tombstone (illegal in Mexico) but Garza comes in and stops him. Hector misses a chair shot, putting Aguayo down and probably cutting his head. Mesias knocks Garza to the floor and gets two off a running powerslam.

Aguayo is busted open. A standing rana gets two for the champion and the fans are starting to get into this. Mesias gets two more off a Codebreaker and Perro is bleeding like crazy. It’s so bad that the doctor comes in to look at him, but Aguayo says keep it going. The doctor isn’t sure, so Perro DROPKICKS THE DOCTOR! A fast small package gets two for Perro but he walks into a jumping Downward Spiral and a bad spear through the table to keep the title on Mesias.

Rating: C. The blade job here was awesome but the moves around it weren’t so great. Mesias doesn’t look so much like a tough guy as he does a brawler with a beer gut. The fans were WAY into this though which makes me think the build to it was very solid stuff. Good enough stuff though for a newcomer and the crowd treated both guys like stars. That works for the world title match at the biggest show of the year.

Cibernetico gets in a shoving match with Aguayo’s father, only to have Mesias pull him away.

In the back, Garza is blamed for the loss. He would be thrown out of the group five days later.

We recap Wagner Jr. vs. Mascara Ano 2000, which is basically a battle of families. Both are from famous Mexican wrestling families and Mascara has beaten Wagner about five times setting up the match. Silver King, Wagner’s real life brother, is here with him. Wagner’s son (El Hijo de Dr. Wagner Jr., literally meaning the son of Dr. Wagner Jr.) is there too, as is Mascara Ano 2000 Sr.

Dr. Wagner Jr. vs Mascara Ano 2000 Jr.

This is also mask vs. mask. They slug it out to start with Wagner chopping Mascara down. A Samoan drop does the same thing as Wagner controls early. Mascara guillotines him down onto the top and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so we go back in for a powerbomb for two for Mascara. The fans are totally behind Wagner. The beating continues until Wagner is busted open from the eye.

Mascara Sr. gets in and pounds away as well which is all cool apparently. All of that gets two as Silver King and Wagner III are all cool with letting this double team continue. Mascara Sr. has some kind of a spike that he keeps pounding at Wagner’s head with. Mascara Jr. accidentally kicks Mascara St. and the comeback is on. We head to the floor where Wagner hits a flip dive off the apron to put Mascara down again.

Wagner goes after Mascara Sr. and takes the spike from him before heading back in to shove the referee down. A Batista Bomb gets a VERY slow two on Mascara, causing Silver King to finally complain about something. Another powerbomb gets the same result and Wagner is getting ticked off. Mascara Sr. interferes again and his son finds a chair. Silver King FINALLY comes in with a chair….and turns on his brother. Fans throw in trash and Wagner III tries to come in but is beaten down as well.

Even that just gets two on Wagner though as the match continues. With Las Mascaras distracted, Wagner III sneaks a glass bottle to his dad (old plot point from 1993 when Mascara Sr. beat Perry Aguayo with a bottle shot to the head) and dropkicks down by Mascaras. The bottle shot to the head FINALLY puts Mascara down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Too overbooked for my taste again but this was the “send the fans home happy” moment and apparently Wagner is insanely popular so what better way to end the show with? The match was mainly Wagner getting double teamed and then turned on by his brother, but it didn’t do a very good job at building drama or anything, as Wagner hit one shot with the bottle to win and that was it.

Wagner Jr. and Mascara Sr. argue a lot about whose house this is until Mascara Jr.’s daughter does the unmasking. This is a MUCH bigger deal than it sounds like. Wagner Jr. celebrates for a long time before a highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a pretty big culture clash for me, as I’m used to the biggest show of the year feeling more serious than this. However, the fans seemed to love this and I think the good guys won every major match on the card. The show isn’t bad though and if you’ve never seen some lucha libre and can’t track down When Worlds Collide, this isn’t the worst show you could see. It’s available in full on Youtube from AAA themselves, but the matches are out of order as it was aired as three TV specials instead of one show, so the big matches are all at the end of episodes. Not bad, but not my style for the most part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/268788/John-Cena-To-Replace-Fred-Flintstone-On-Fruity-Pebbles-Boxes.htm

 

It’s not permanent, but that’s a pretty big freaking deal when you think about it.   Also not a bad payoff for what seemed to be a throwaway joke from Rock.

ECW House Party 1996
Date: January 5, 1996
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

Great, back to Philly again. This was another request for a show which I don’t remember the reasoning behind. This is from ECW golden era as Heyman was still considered brilliant before he self destructed and messed up everything he had built. I only know a little bit about this time period so it’s hard to say what’s coming. There’s a chance there’s a legendary ECW moment here so if that’s the case I’m looking forward to it. Let’s get to it.

Joey is in the ring to start but can’t even say his own name before Bill Alfonso and the whistle interrupt him. Fonzie says that he hates Styles and wants more interviews for himself and Taz. Joey finally rips into Fonzie and says that he’s ruining everything. They argue some more until Taz comes in and threatens Styles.

911, the 7’0 300lb enforcer of ECW, comes out to save Joey. Promoter Tod Gordon runs out and blasts Fonzie, making Taz go after Gordon. 911 grabs Taz by the throat but referees come out and break it up. The ring is cleared out other than one small guy who Taz suplexes. Joey gets yelled at again so here’s 911 again. A guy that looks like Chris Jericho with black hair runs in and jumps 911, taking out his knee.

Oh it’s Kronus with Saturn, more commonly known as the Eliminators, to beat up 911. This goes on for awhile until Rey Mysterio comes in for the save. This is back when Rey had two good knees and wasn’t roided out of his mind. He flies all over the place and cleans house, sending the Eliminators to the floor and hitting a big moonsault press to take both guys out. We have a match apparently.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Post match the Eliminators take out Mysterio and the Pitbulls run in for the save. Francine, looking good in leather, beats up Jason, the Eliminators’ manager. The Eliminators pull her off Jason and hit Total Elimination on her, basically killing her. Jason gets beaten up as a consolation prize.

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

This is Van Dam’s ECW debut. Rotten looks a bit thinner than he would in his more famous days. Rotten runs from a spin kick and then wants a karate fight. We haven’t had any significant contact in the first minute or so here. Rotten gets in a shot and starts pounding away, only to get caught in a Japanese armdrag for one. A chop takes Rotten down for two as Rob is starting to roll. In the match, not joints.

Rotten pokes Rob in the eye and sends him into the buckle to take over. Something we would call the Angle Slam puts Van Dam down and Rotten pounds away in the corner. It’s so strange to see Van Dam getting no fan support like this. Rotten makes some martial arts motions but misses a top rope elbow.

About two people try to start a LET’S GO ROB chant but it doesn’t quite work. Van Dam hits a top rope splash minus the frog aspect for two. Rotten goes to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive to put him down again. Back in and the top rope kick gets two. Rotten pounds away in the corner but misses a charge. Split legged moonsault gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it’s pretty historic for ECW. It’s always fun to see where guys started, as Rob here was just a guy in a singlet who could jump high in the air. Rotten was better as a tag team guy which we’ll see later on. Other than that, this was just a way to fill in about seven minutes, which was fine.

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Mikey won a winner take all match for the TV and Tag Titles over Scorpio a few weeks ago. Through a series of unimportant events, Mikey has accidentally joined Raven’s Nest (the original Flock) which neither the Nest or Mikey wants. Keep that in mind for later. Scorpio has Woman with him but there’s no Cactus, Mikey’s partner, for Mikey to balance things out. Whipwreck is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Scorpio says that Mikey can leave now and avoid a beating, so Mikey hits him with the belt to get us going. Mikey hits another belt shot but Scorpio kicks it back into his face to take over. Whipwreck gets launched into the air and crashes down face first onto the mat. A kick to the head puts Mikey down again and the beating continues. Scorpio talks some trash on a mic and keeps beating the champion up.

Mikey finally hits an enziguri to slow the beating down, followed by a cross body to send Scorpio to the floor. The idea is that Mikey was so used to getting beaten up that he’s not experienced on offense yet. They head to the floor and Mikey keeps pounding away on the back. Back in and Mikey grabs a German suplex for two. A legdrop gets one and 2 Cold has to poke him in the eye to break the momentum.

A powerbomb is countered into a rana by Mikey followed by a jumping kick to the ribs off the top. That looked bad. Scorpio heads to the floor and hits a running chair shot to the head of Whipwreck. Back in and a powerbomb keeps Mikey down. He gets sent into the chair and Scorpio can taste the gold. I wonder if it tastes like chicken. Everything else does. A powerslam sets up a twisting legdrop out of the corner but Mikey gets out at two.

Mikey reverses a bulldog to send Scorpio face first into a chair. He pops Scorpio in the back with the chair a few times, followed by a surfboard. 2 Cold gets up as most of Mikey’s offense doesn’t work that well and hits a Tombstone Powerslam for two. A moonsault hits but Scorpio lets him up, which is what cost him the initial match. Scorpio superplexes him but again lets Mikey up at two.

The Tumbleweed (rotating splash) gets two on Whipwreck again and now Scorpio is getting mad. Mikey grabs a swinging DDT out of nowhere but it only gets two. A top rope rana puts Scorpio down but he rolls to the floor before he gets covered. Mikey hits a BIG dive off the top and over the barricade to take Scorpio down again. Back in and Scorpio kicks Mikey’s head off to take over. Scorpio hits a belly to back superplex but the referee gets hit in the process. Cue Raven who DDTs Mikey, allowing Scorpio to hit a moonsault into a legdrop for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good overall and the best match on the card by a few miles so far. Mikey could sell like a master but his offense never quite worked. He was a character designed around making the fans feel sorry for him and therefore care about him, but it doesn’t do much in one shots like this one. Scorpio was his usual high flying awesome self.

Taz vs. Hack Myers

Speaking of guys that are only good for the live crowd, I give you Hack Myers. He’s a biker that doesn’t do much other than punch and he’s called the Shah of Hardcore for no apparent reason. Fonzie comes out in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, making him more awesome than anything on this show so far. Myers works on the arm for a bit but Taz throws him down like a fly. You know, because you often throw over flies.

Joey talks about “these Ultimate Fighting PPVs” which have inspired guys like Taz. Taz rolls him down to the mat and puts on a hold of some sort on the neck. Myers sends him into the corner and elbows him in the back of the head to take over. Taz is like screw that and takes him down with a judo throw. Some more punches are countered by a T-Bone Tazplex followed by a head and arms Tazplex. A German Tazplex sets up the Tazmission for the tap.

Rating: D. Taz was pretty awesome with those suplexes but he needed more to work with here. Myers was a hometown favorite but man was he boring to watch for non-ECW fans. Taz would run through ECW for the next year or so before facing Sabu in the real main event of Barely Legal.

Post match Taz says he’s going on a Path of Rage through ECW and no one is stopping him. That was pretty much correct.

Jimmy Del Ray vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Del Ray is one half of the Heavenly Bodies but Tom Pritchard has been sent to the WWF as Zip in the Body Donnas, so Del Ray has Mr. Hughes with him now to try to give him something to do. Sign Guy Dudley has a Sign Off with the Sign Guy in the front row. Moving on. Bubba can’t say his name which was his gimmick back then, so Del Ray jumps him to start. Bubba pounds him into the corner and comes back with a dropkick (yes you read that right) and it’s time for a dance off!

Bubba seems to win so Del Ray jumps him and pounds away. Neckbreaker gets two. Del Ray, as well as Pritchard for that matter, never really did anything for me although I haven’t seen a lot of their SMW stuff which is their most famous work. Del Ray’s whip into the corner is reversed and the big fat Bubba hits a corner splash but Del Ray hits him low.

A tornado DDT gets two for Jimmy and he’s getting frustrated because his minute and a half of offense didn’t work. Dudley tries the Bubba Bomb (a powerbomb, not the full nelson kind) but Mr. Hughes distracts him, which to be fair isn’t that hard to do. Del Ray hits Bubba again but as he tries a backdrop, Bubba DDTs him for the pin. Bubba would get better to say the least. Too short to rate but this was nothing.

Post match a brawl breaks out and Mr. Hughes yells about the Dudleys and Bubba’s inability to speak English in particular….and here’s Shane Douglas. He’s returning to ECW after being Dean Douglas in the WWF and the fans ERUPT. He’s doing a parody of the teacher, making fun of the English of Bubba. Shane does the Triple Threat sign and says things are going to be fixed around here. Shane hits Bubba and that’s about it. What an odd way to return for a big name in ECW.

At this point there would be a match with the Bad Breed vs. JT Smith and Tony Stetson but apparently it wasn’t on the home video. It went to a no contest, apparently due to the Bad Breed half murdering them.

We now get to the very famous segment from this show. Dancing Stevie Richards comes out along with Blue Meanie and Beaulah. Stevie says he’s no longer Dancing Stevie but rather Studly Stevie, the King of Swing. He talks about Missy Hyatt wanting him which is the result of them kissing on Hardcore TV recently. He makes fun of the American Males which shows you the level of references they’re reaching here.

Joey makes fun of Richards for wasting TV time like this. Stevie points out that Raven isn’t here and talks about how Raven was at a concert in early December. Raven started partying that night and he’s just now coming down. During that span, Beaulah has been neglected by Raven so Richards is going to kiss her to make up for it. She says no and that she doesn’t want to be touched. Richards says it’s because she’s Raven’s girl but she says it’s because she’s pregnant. Joey freaking out by that is pretty funny stuff.

Raven comes out and yells at her, saying the pills say one day at a time. We get the next bombshell as Beaulah says it’s not Raven’s. Raven blasts Richards but she says it’s not his either. She says it’s Tommy’s and Raven freaks. Dreamer runs out and destroys Raven, hitting him with whatever he can find, including a sign with a stop sign hidden inside.

Then in one of the more bizarre moments in ECW history (which is saying a lot) a fan hands Tommy a blueberry pie which Raven gets piledriven onto. You know, because when you come to a wrestling show, you bring blueberry pie with you. Dreamer and Beaulah leave together as this feud continues.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas

This is Public Enemy’s last match before they head to WCW as well. The Public Enemy is Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock while the Gangstas are Mustafa Saed and New Jack. It’s a big dance party to start before Public Enemy says that they love it here and that this is their house. The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant “you’ll be back” or “you sold out”. Now Jack runs his mouth about WCW and Harlem Heat and all that jazz. Sensational Sherri is a ho apparently.

It’s a big brawl to start and did you really expect anything else? Jack immediately busts grunge open and beats on him with what looks like a whip. Rock and Saed get back in and Rock is choked with something. An iron, as in the thing you get wrinkles out with, is brought in and goes upside Rock’s head. Now it goes onto Jack’s head for two. Public Enemy takes over and we’ve got a lot of blood already.

Grunge DDTs Mustafa for no cover before sending him to the floor. Mustafa is put on the tbale and there’s a big flip dive by Rock through Mustafa through said table. We go into the crowd with Grunge hammering away on Jack. Mustafa busts out a spinning toe hold on Rocco of all things but gets caught in a small package for two. Jack piledrives Grunge on the floor and goes up onto a balcony for a splash. This is just mindless violence at this point.

A loaf of bread is used as a weapon. I hope it was white because if you bring in whole wheat…..I don’t even want to think of that kind of carnage. They head back to ringside as we have a pie used. Rock is placed on a table in the ring and Saed hits a Vader Bomb through it, allowing Grunge to cover Saed for two. Everyone gets back inside now and it’s time for another table.

Jack and Grunge head to the floor again and a can of soda is used upside Jack’s head. Rock moonsaults Saed through the table but can’t cover. Saed suplexes Rock down but Grunge comes in to beat on him. A reverse DDT by Grunge sets up a modified Swanton Bomb from Rock (The Drive By) for the pin on Saed to send Public Enemy out on a high note.

Rating: D+. This was ECW’s signature stuff: mindless violence and destruction. This isn’t my taste but the fans in Philly ate it up. Speaking of eating, what was with all the food used in this match? Did a bakery open up in the ECW Arena that I wasn’t told about? Either way this wasn’t awful but it was what it was: a big brawl which is how Public Enemy should have gone out.

Rock thanks the fans and invites everyone into the ring for one last dance to end the show. They would be back in about three years.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst ECW show I’ve ever seen, but it felt like one of the longest. The good stuff here does exist but at the same time a lot of these matches went on WAY longer than they needed to, namely Sabu vs. Richards. This was also a show where you could see a lot of transition for ECW, as a ton of people were leaving but a lot of big names were arriving, such as RVD and the returning Shane Douglas. Not the worst ECW show ever, but it’s just not my taste at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: January 4, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

Welcome to the day of the year where more stuff happens in wrestling than any other. Whether it be the NJPW supershow or the Fingerpoke of Doom or Foley winning the title or Hogan debuting on Impact or Bret and Shawn burying the hatchet, something ALWAYS happens on January 4. Odds are not much of note will happen tonight, but things in the WWE will pick up big on Monday when Rock returns. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Orton returning to fight the Shield tonight as Alberto attacking Big Show after Ricardo got beaten up.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He says that his new year’s resolution is to become World Champion again. For some reason Smackdown isn’t his show anymore, so he’s entering the Royal Rumble. This brings out Sheamus who enters the Rumble as well. He’s also here to thank Orton for his help with the Shield on Raw. Orton says that was for himself and now Sheamus and starts talking about the Rumble again. Sheamus says he knows a bit about the Rumble since he won it last year. They say they’ll eliminate each other, so here’s Big Show with something of his own to say.

The champ says all the winner of the Rumble gets is a shot at his fist, which is what Sheamus has gotten every single time they’ve fought. If Orton wants a shot, that’s fine with him so come take a shot. Cue Cesaro who makes fun of these bragging Americans. Sheamus says he’s from Ireland but Cesaro doesn’t really care. Orton says how about this lazy American comes and RKOs Cesaro. Booker, tag match set, end opening segment.

Kingston gets his rematch tonight.

The Miz vs. Heath Slater

Did Drew always have that cowboy hat? JBL: “Here comes the air guitar playing version of the Spirit Squad.” So which one is Dolph Ziggler? Apparently this is because of 3MB being on MizTV the week before the Slammys. Feeling out process to start with Miz cranking on Slater’s arm. A dropkick of all things puts Heath down and Miz works on a headlock. That stays on for a good while, suggesting this is going to be a long match.

Miz makes fun of the air guitar playing and pokes Slater in the eye. I would say it worked for Roddy Piper but Miz hasn’t acted like Piper in years. Think back to the time he was champion: he ran his mouth a lot, he wasn’t the best technical guy in the world, no one could seem to beat him no matter what, he had a lackey who was better in the ring than he was, and he somehow kept getting by the top guy in the company. Sound like any famous kilt wearing wrestlers?

Miz hiptosses Slater down but McIntyre trips him up to change momentum. Miz has to fight off the other 3MB guys, drawing an ejection for them and a quick rollup for two on Slater. We take a break and come back with Slater pounding away in the corner. Miz fights back so Slater bails again, only to get clotheslined down again. JBL talks about how important it was for Miz to team with Cena on Raw. Remember kids: title reigns from two years ago aren’t as important as a one off tag match that opens up a New Year’s Eve episode of Raw that no one watched.

Back inside, Miz misses a charge and his shoulder goes into the post, giving Slater something to focus on. After escaping a quick arm hold, Miz grabs a sunset flip for two before having his head kicked off for the same result for Slater. The sequence works so well that we do the exact same thing but with a clothesline instead of a kick by Slater. Miz comes back with a knee to the ribs and a kick to the face for two, only to have Slater send him into the buckle to stop the comeback.

Slater wraps Miz’s arm around the post as JBL goes back and forth between praising Slater’s abilities and blasting his non-existent singing abilities. Miz suplexes out of a headlock and both guys are down. Slater goes back to the arm so Miz uses the good elbow to take over again. A neckbreaker gets two for Heath but Miz shrugs it off and hits his signature stuff, finishing Slater with the Skull Crushing Finale at 12:22 shown of 15:22.

Rating: C. My first guess as to why Miz isn’t getting over as a face: it took him fifteen minutes to beat Heath Slater in a one on one match. That being said, I’m not going to complain about a match with a decent story in it and some psychology thrown in. The fact that Slater had nothing to be able to finish Miz off with didn’t help, but I could come up with far worse ways to kill time on this show.

We recap Kofi losing the title on Monday.

Barrett doesn’t want to talk about losing to Kofi in a gauntlet match on Main Event.

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya vs. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes

This is an excuse to show the Mae Young stuff from Raw again. You know, because THAT is something to be proud of. The girls start things off with Natalya taking over with ease. Rosa tags in Epico, who gets to fight Khali. Epico turns around, sees Khali, and tags out to Primo. Khali hits a big chop and it’s off to Horny for some comedy offense. He hits a Stunner on Epico but Primo finally takes him down with a shot to the head. JBL: “Doesn’t PETA have rules against that?” Horny finally tags Khali, house is cleaned, and the big chop pins Epico at 4:03.

Rating: D. I feel sorry for Epico and Primo. They aren’t ever going to be the kings of the tag division, but man alive they deserve better than to have to sell for Hornswoggle’s offense. This was one of those comedy matches that was lacking the comedy, but at least it was pretty short.

Kofi says this isn’t about momentum because it’s likely his last chance at the title. I highly doubt that.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Feeling out process to start with Kofi using his speed to escape the power brawling Barrett. Off to an armbar by the challenger which doesn’t last that long. Wade bails to the floor but Kofi follows him out and sends him into the steps to take over again. Back in and a springboard forearm to the head gets two. The champ sends him into the corner and things slow down again. It’s rather interesting how the fans seemed to be WAY more interested in Miz vs. Slater than they are here for a title match. I’m sure the fans not moving during the Miz match isn’t noteworthy at all.

We hit the chinlock which doesn’t last long as Kofi tries some fast rollups for two each. Barrett gets backdropped to the floor, followed by a dive from Kofi to take him out. Barrett seems fine to chill on the floor for a countout while claiming an injury but Kofi will have none of that. Wade hides in the ropes again as we take a break. Back with Wade knocking Kingston down with something we didn’t see for no cover.

Back to the chinlock before Barrett shifts his attack to the ribs, firing off some kicks and dropping a middle rope elbow for two. Kofi gets placed in the ropes and kicked to the floor again, drawing what appears to be legitimate heat from the crowd. Kingston gets back in at nine and immediately has to block a superplex. The top rope cross body gets two on Barrett and Kofi wins a slugout.

Kofi loads up another springboard but Barrett avoids it, only to get caught in the SOS for two. A BIG running kick to the side of Barrett’s head sets up the Boom Drop. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise but Barrett ducks, setting off a very hot sequence of near falls for both guys. Winds of Change (Boss Man Slam) gets two for Wade but Kofi kicks his head off, sending him out to the floor.

After Kofi finally gets him back inside, Barrett grabs the rope at two. The place is really getting into this. Kingston charges into a boot in the corner but ducks the Bull Hammer, only to jump off the middle rope right into said Hammer, which retains the title for Barrett at 13:14 shown of 16:44.

Rating: B-. What is with all this wrestling tonight? That’s two matches out three that broke fifteen minutes, which is almost unheard of anymore. Kofi continues to be the guy that can have a good match with anyone and contrary to some opinions, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having that role for the next five years for him. Just because he doesn’t make it to the main event doesn’t mean he’s a failure by any stretch. Good match here as you would expect from these two.

Layla vs. Tamina Snuka

Tamina chokes Layla against the ropes to start. Layla stares at Tamina like an idiot before getting shoved to the outside. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is SILENT. JBL makes fun of Josh’s inability to talk to women as the match is dragging despite only running a minute and a half so far. Layla makes her comeback and hits a dropkick to the side of the head before screaming. When you can understand every word she’s shouting, you might need to do a better job at firing up the crowd. The bouncing cross body is caught in a slam and the Superfly Splash gets the pin at 3:05. I think you can figure out the rating by yourselves.

The Raw ReBound is the really stupid ending to the show.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro and Sheamus start things off and pound on each other for a bit as you would expect the two of them to do. Off to Orton for a suplex for two and here’s Sheamus again. Cesaro gets pounded some more as Big Show yells instructions to him. Orton comes in and pounds him in the head for a bit before Sheamus gets another tag. Cesaro finally gets in some shots to the ribs and there’s the tag to Big Show.

Show puts Sheamus down and swings at Orton, allowing Sheamus to come back with a shot to the head. The good guys double clothesline Show to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus sending Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms. Show makes a blind tag and spears Sheamus down as momentum really shifts for the first time. Cesaro can be heard telling Show what to do (a recurring theme tonight) as Show gets two off an elbow drop.

The referee tells Show to let Sheamus out of the corner, but Show yelling at the referee allows Sheamus to get in some offense for a change. Show misses a charge in the corner but comes back with a chokeslam for two. I guess that’s officially just another big move for Show anymore. The KO punch misses and Sheamus kicks Show’s head off to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Cesaro and Orton and it’s time for Randy’s finishing seq uence. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT and Sheamus tags himself in, much to Orton’s annoyance. White Noise takes Cesaro down but as Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick, Orton comes in with an RKO. Sheamus reluctantly gets the pin at 10:36 shown of 14:06.

Rating: C+. Standard main event tag match here but it’s clear that they’re sowing the seeds for at least the Rumble and possibly an Orton heel turn and the world title match at Wrestlemania. They didn’t have any actual contact but they didn’t need to, which is something a tag match like this is good for. I’m talking about Orton and Sheamus if that wasn’t really clear.

Sheamus and Orton stare each other down (not really out of rage) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. When you have three matches that are about fifteen minutes each, it’s hard to say it’s not at least a pretty good show. This is the kind of stuff that Smackdown can offer as a legit different style from Raw, as there were zero backstage segments here and almost all wrestling. The quality wasn’t always great, but it was nice to see a wrestling show for a change. Good stuff.

Results

The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WCW/New Japan Supershow II
Date: January 4, 1992
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 60,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re back in Tokyo for the second co-promoted show with WCW vs. New Japan guys. There will once again be some matches cut here but those are pretty much gone period. The main event here is Sting/Muta vs. the Steiners as well as the IWGP Title being on the line with Choshu vs. Fujinami. On paper this looks pretty good so let’s get to it.

This wasn’t aired in America for about two months which is why Luger is still world champion here despite losing it to Sting in February and bolting.

Bischoff, still an annoying backstage interviewer, runs down the card for us.

Jushin Thunder Liger/Masashi Aoyagi/Akira Nogami vs. Hiro Saito/Super Strong Machine/Norio Honaga

From what I can find, this is a junior heavyweight match and Liger is the undisputed biggest star in it. He’s also the only one of these guys I know anything about. I’ve heard of all but one of them but I’m likely going to be confused here. There were two all Japanese matches before this by the way but from what I can tell they were nothing special.

Saito and Aoyagi start us off. We get perhaps the only tennis comparison in wrestling history not involving Jim Cornette as we’re told that the crowd here is like that of a tennis match in America which makes sense. Strong Machine comes in and hooks a sleeper. Aoyagi is in a gi here. Ah ok Nogami was on the show last year. I knew I had heard that name before.

Liger comes in and gets a small reaction but it’s more than anyone else has gotten. He cleans house but Saito stops him cold. It looks like Liger is going to be playing Morton here. Rolling Liger Kick allows him to get the tag so forget what I just said. Aoyagi is short. Keep in mind there is a 20 count here. Pretty fast paced match so far.

Honaga and company work on Nogami’s leg as the tagging gets quicker. All three heels (I think they’re heels at least) work over Nogami and he’s in trouble. He gets a nice dropkick though to bring in Liger. No one is really staying in trouble here very long and it’s going back and forth pretty quickly. Middle rope moonsault to Saito gets two for Liger.

Nogami sounds like a goat when he’s breathing hard. His abdominal stretch lasts a few seconds as we’re kind of shifting styles to more submission based stuff now. The faces (again I think) take over on Saito and as I say that he hits something like a spinebuster on Liger to get out. Honaga and Saito are regular partners apparently and wear matching tights.

Honaga gets a top rope Hart Attack style clothesline to take down Liger for two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Liger. This crowd is a bit off putting but I get why they’re sitting quietly like that. It’s still just very odd. In a nice counter, Nogami hits a hard knee to the head of Strong Machine to get out of a pin. That’s different.

Strong Machine is in a mask which looks like Mr. JL. Aoyagi kicks the heck out of everyone but pure strength from Strong Machine ends that pretty quickly. Everyone comes in after some close two counts and Saito hits a Senton Back Splash (Husky Harris’ move) from the middle rope for two. Nogami gets a Dragon Suplex on Saito to end this rather quickly.

Rating: C+. This was fifteen minutes long? How is that possible? This seemed to absolutely fly by and while nothing spectacular it was certainly pretty good. Liger was clearly the biggest star out there as he should have been. None of the other five have had much of a career as far as I can tell. This was a fun match and pretty good on top of that. Good start.

The Enforcers vs. Michiyoshi Ohara/Shiro Koshinaka

The Enforcers are Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson. Both faces seem to be fairly big names but nothing huge. This is in the days of the Dangerous Alliance. Anderson wants a handshake but gets a hand slap instead. Larry and Ohara start us off. Larry of course stalls to start, or not start I guess, the match. Anderson comes in as Larry talks a lot.

Anderson throws out a Hennig neck snap which is probably the most aerial he’s ever gotten in his career. It’s weird hearing Larry yell like this when you can hear him so clearly. This is a lot more mat wrestling than we’re used to. Ohara comes back in and is apparently very young here. Larry shouting things like “hit that punk!” or something like that is rather funny.

This is a very basic match with the Enforcers not being as dirty as they would like I don’t think. Larry busts out some of his martial arts on Koshinaka which get him nowhere at all. Anderson is like move over and beats up Shiro. Now we get to some old school Anderson cheating and Koshinaka is in trouble.

Ohara gets the, I guess you can call it hot, tag to clean some house in there and we get the third Boston Crab in two minutes. Ross talks about how unsure Ohara seems which is true. Granted he’s a rookie so that makes sense. He’s also not incredibly good but there we are. Ohara gets one of the most awkward looking top rope elbows of all time.

Koshinaka comes in with some flying hips to the face and Ohara adds a suplex to Larry for two. Larry throws in an extra knee to the back of Shiro and the spinebuster just ends Ohara with ease.

Rating: C-. This was a bit weak but nothing all that bad. I couldn’t get into this one that well and it came off like a glorified squash that just happened to run almost thirteen minutes. It was ok but nothing really that special with the Enforcers never really being in any real danger. Decent enough though.

Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes vs. Masa Saito/Kim Duk

Well of course Dusty just had to grace us with his presence in a huge match like this. I mean it’s not like there’s some young guy that needed the exposure here or anything like that right? I’m sure there isn’t a guy that has never really gotten a spotlight before that could use a match on PPV in front of 60,000 people. Nah we’d rather have old fat men! Let’s get this over with.

I’ve never heard of Duk. Sweet merciful crap Dusty is a fat man. Saito is a big man but looks tough. Dusty simply doesn’t at all. Dustin and Duk start us off and we get a criss cross which Dustin controls. Ross REALLY likes the refereeing tonight for some reason. He’s complimented it in every match so far tonight.

Duk has been in two big spots so far: a head scissors and a back drop and both have looked very bad. The other guy was Dustin Rhodes who is usually very solid in the ring. I’m pretty sure I think I know who screwed up there. We hear about Saito being in the Olympic Games in 64. He refuses to tag in here, merely brushing him off. That’s rather funny.

The two fat men come in with Dusty gettinga nice round of applause. We fight to the ramp with Dusty firmly in control. Saito drops to his knees in front of Dusty. If he wants to blow him he’s going to have a lot of gut to hold up. Ross says Dusty has been inactive for a year or so. That’s very funny, as if Dusty has been active in his life.

Ross explains the difference between ring attendants and managers which is fairly interesting. Is there ANY reason why we have Dusty working the majority of the match here? Did anyone thought that was the right idea? We hit the nerve hold so we talk about the language barriers between Duk, a Korean and Saito, who is Japanese.

Saito misses a running kick and drills Duk to bring in Dustin again. Duk hits a Piledriver on Dustin for two. Back to Dusty vs. Saito which still isn’t incredibly interesting. Saito is good though so we have that to fall back on I guess. Thankfully Dusty isn’t in there long and Dustin walks into a Saito Suplex which is of course his namesake. It’s a modified belly to back.

They ram heads and both guys are down. Duk comes in but since he isn’t incredibly talented Dustin just beats the tar out of him, getting a dropkick for two and then after a few more seconds the bulldog (I can’t stand that move) ends this. The total lack of a reaction is still weird to me.

Rating: D+. Weakest match so far. Dusty and Duk weren’t worth much at all here. Ross saying he was funky like a monkey in total deadpan is hilarious for some reason. This was pretty bad but it could have been much worse. It got nearly 15 minutes and for some reason Dusty was in there more than his son. Odd.

El Gigante vs. Big Van Vader

No mask for Vader here and he’s a much bigger deal in Japan than he is in America at this point. There were two matches between the Rhodes’ match and this: Tony Halme vs. Scott Nortan and Shinya Hashimoto (JMT’s Avatar) vs. Bill Kazmaier with the former winning both times. Halme is more famous as Ludvig Borga.

This is of course a clash of the titans match which is rather interesting. Ross points out that Vader could be a monster in America if he tried to be a dominant singles wrestler and he’s absolutely right. If you don’t believe me just ask Sting. Dang that was a great feud. Nothing but clubbing blows here and we get the Claw by the giant. It’s weird seeing Vader as a face. He goes to the ramp and we get a double countout.

Rating: D. Bad match, but if you expected anything else other than a big brawl you’re an idiot. Vader looked great here and Gigante was very popular in Japan so this worked rather well. Nothing good at all but a fun brawl so all is fine.

Vader’s helmet shoots steam in El Gigante’s eyes post match.

Ad for Wrestlewar 92 which had an AWESOME main event.

Antonio Inoki defeated Hiroshi Hase in between these matches.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Masahiro Chono

It’s weird seeing Chono as a young guy. To you extremely old school guys, Chono was Lou Thesz’s protégé so you know he was great. Chono is yelling a lot. Luger is the monster heel at this point and incredibly arrogant but no one could beat him. Oddly enough, Chono’s finishing move here is the STF and Luger’s is a Piledriver called the Attitude Adjustment. It’s the Cena Special here I guess.

Ross talks about his days as a referee which I’ve never heard of at all. We get into a debate of Jack Brisco vs. Lou Thesz which is rather interesting. This is power vs. technical here with Luger’s basic offense vs. the ground game of Chono, who is rather good on the mat. Suplex gets two for Luger and the fans applause. Luger gets a DDT of all things.

Rack is countered into a backslide for two and there’s the Mafia Kick. If you’re not familiar with it, in short he gets a running start and kicks the other guy’s head off. STF goes on but rope is grabbed. Luger ducks a charging Chono who goes flying to the floor. We speed things up and Luger is in trouble. Chono comes off the top but Luger simply moves to the side and Masahiro eats canvas.

The Rack goes on but Luger loses his balance and we head to the floor. Rack goes on again on the floor and Chono is in big trouble. He slides in at about 15 which is a No Mercy trick. And of course Chono is fine seconds later. Low blow from Luger is enough for the pin. The no selling twerp deserved to get kicked in the balls.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good here and a very nice balance here of different styles and two guys doing pretty well against the other. Chono remains awesome of course and Luger played the role of the jerk to near perfection, making this pretty solid. I liked it if nothing else.

IWGP Title/Greatest 18 Club Championship: Riki Choshu vs. Tatsumi Fujinami

Choshu is the Greatest 18 Champion which is some weird deal where the WWF Martial Arts Title was renamed and meant little still but whatever. There’s a Hall of Fame thrown in too but I’m not particularly clear on it. This is a big rivalry apparently. Tatsumi is of course the IWGP Champion by default. Choshu invented the Sharpshooter in his biggest claim to fame.

Fairly long feeling out process to start us off. Choshu hits an FU on Fujinami, making me think Cena rented this tape a lot as a kid. Inoki trained Fujinami so we talk about his Ali fight because nothing of note is going on in this match. Lots of snapmares and chinlocks in the first four minutes or so. Tony forgets who is in the match, saying Chono is doing something or other.

Choshu gets the Scorpion Deathlock on and we debate whose is more effective. And of course Riki just lets go of it for no apparent reason. Fujinami puts the hold on Choshu but ropes are grabbed. Ross points out that both guys are in tights and are no frills wrestlers. You know, because black boots and black tights can work for promoting a wrestler, right Uncle Eric?

Dragon Sleeper goes on and not a lot is happening in this match. Octopus Hold from Fujinami which is an abdominal stretch with a leg wrapped around the head. It looks awesome if you didn’t get that. Choshu hits a top rope suplex for no cover. Dropkick from Tatsumi blocks the lariat. Choshu hits a Saito Suplex and then a second one. A lariat doesn’t put him down. A second doesn’t. The third does and it gets the pin. Well I’m glad he mixed up the moves there at the end like that.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but again, and I know I harp on this a lot, but when finishers are constantly kicked out of or don’t work, they kind of stop being finishers. That’s an argument I can never get through to people that are fans of this though so I won’t even try. This was a pretty good match but not a classic or anything. The lack of enthusiasm was kind of weird on the ending for a title change but it was still good.

Steiner Brothers vs. Sting/Great Muta

This should be good. Everyone here is rather popular and the non-traditional partners have separate entrances here. Muta gets a big old entrance with all kinds of acrobats for no apparent reason. Muta points to his throat immediately and spits some mist out. Sting comes in rather quickly to take on Rick. Rick gets the top rope bulldog maybe 90 seconds in for two.

Stinger Splash misses (called the Scorpion for some reason by JR) and Scott gets a powerbomb for no cover. Sting hits a tombstone and doesn’t cover either. What’s up with that as I channel my inner Helms. Muta comes in to a nice pop. Rick hits a nice suplex on Muta for two. Steiner gets what we would call an Angle Slam from the middle rope for two.

And there’s a Dragon Sleeper from Scott which is odd to see to put it mildly. Total Steiner dominance here so far. Spinning belly to belly from Scott and STILL no cover. What’s up with these guys here? Muta finally gets a suplex and tags in Sting to fight the fresh Rick. Muta back in and in a nice counter, Rick catches the handspring elbow in a German suplex. That was nice.

Sting takes Rick out with a plancha on the floor and Muta does the same to Scott. The Steiners both go up and hit both with shoulderblocks. We get a weird ending as Sting pins Scott and Rick pins Muta at the same time but Sting and Muta win for some reason. I think Rick wasn’t legal but it was an odd choice for an ending.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better at the end but the opening stuff wasn’t much at all. Not bad here but it could have been more as they only had 11 minutes which was one of the shortest matches of the night. Solid stuff though and nothing really bad. It just came off as lackluster and not meeting its potential.

A LONG highlight package takes us out. The replays show that the referee screwed up the last match as Sting wasn’t legal and Rick got the right pin but whatever.

Overall Rating: C+. Good show overall with nothing particularly bad outside of the short giants match. This was a fun show with solid Japanese stuff. It’s nothing great at all but at under two hours it’s hard to complain. Solid stuff overall though and kind of interesting to see a different style like this for a change.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz

We open the new year with the return (yes another one) of Sting. Rather than let us be surprised by who wins, TNA has decided to throw the name out there ahead of time. The other issue is that Anderson may or may not be joining Aces and 8’s. That would help their star power but somehow make them more boring at the same time. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap kills some time.

We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.

When Roode was champion, NOTHING was more important to him than the title. He made history and set records when he was champion but here’s Aries to argue that HE should be the winner because he averaged over four stars per PPV match. Hardy calms things down and says he’ll defend against both of them at Genesis, which I think is the first match announced. Aries jumps him but gets in an argument with Roode over who gets to beat Hardy up. Aries tries to hit Jeff with the trophy but blasts Roode instead, bending the gold part on top. Hardy takes out Aries and leaves.

Storm is disappointed but Bad Influence comes in and makes fun of a country song to show how sad Storm is in a hilarious bit. Storm says he’ll be back and he’ll kick Daniels in his Twitter and knock Kaz’s Facebook off. Kaz: “You forgot MySpace!”

Kazarian vs. James Storm

Daniels faked Storm out to start and Kaz got in a cheap shot to really start. That’s some nice chicanery there. Storm pounds away in the ring before we head to the floor where Daniels can cheat yet again. Back in and Storm comes back with Closing Time (Codebreaker) for no cover, instead opting for a Russian Leg Sweep and a top rope elbow for two. For the third time a Daniels distraction lets Kaz take over, this time with a TKO for two. Storm hits another Codebreaker out of nowhere and after taking out Daniels, hits the Last Call to a jumping Kaz for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Storm continues to be kept away from the main event but it’s nice to see him overcoming the odds for a week and getting a clean pin. Also, it’s VERY nice to see Bad Influence fighting anyone other than AJ for all of eternity. Other than that though, the match was relatively dull with Storm just doing his thing and hitting his signature moves.

Anderson is told to make a decision by Aces and 8’s and after some prodding from Doc, he finally agrees. However, D-Von’s bat is missing.

Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.

Quick highlight package on Sting and Aces and 8’s.

Here’s Doc to say that Sting needs to get out here so he can cripple Sting once and for all. A ball bat falls from the ceiling and Doc FREAKS, shouting that he isn’t afraid and demanding that Sting get out here as we take a break.

Brooke has no comment on her dad.

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York

Kash jumps him to start and takes it to thef loor very quickly, only to get caught by a dropkick and a kick to the head from the apron. Kash pounds away a bit but York comes back with a botched handspring into a kick for two. A running low downward spiral gets two for Christian and he counters a backslide into the Mood Swing (Eve’s swinging neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see at all here as Kash continues to just be a warm body in the division. York isn’t much better and I’m not wild on these mini tournaments, especially when the finals and the title match are at the same show (Genesis obviously), it gets a little dull. Nothing to see here though.

Hernandez and Chavo aren’t scared of Morgan and Ryan.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.

Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez

Hernandez pounds away to start and Morgan’s arm appears to be fine. He comes in and hits a discus lariat on Hernandez for the DQ at 1:00.

Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?

Angle thanks Brisco and Bischoff for having his back. Tonight it’s a cage match so they can hang back here. Joe yells at them for no apparent reason but Angle smooths things over.

We see the Knockouts stretching.

We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.

Here’s Hulk to apologize for being gone last week. He saw his daughter and Ray making out in the parking lot and he needed a breather. Hulk asks Brooke and Ray to come out here right now so here they are side by side and nearly arm in arm. Hulk wants an explanation right now and Ray says it was all on him. Papa Hogan GOES OFF on Ray, saying that he knew all along that Ray was a bad man. Apparently Ray broke some kind of code and he gets thrown out of the ring, just like Brooke. Ray is suspended as well. Is there a point to this coming ANYTIME soon?

Post break we recap what we just saw.

Back to OVW for more Joseph Park matches. He’s been watching a lot of tape and Danny Davis is starting to get the appeal of him. I think Park graduates.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher

Tess is in all blue tonight which is a nice change of pace. She and Gail start but it’s quickly off to Tara. I do enjoy the camera closeups we get of the Knockouts unlike the Divas. Mickie comes in off a blind tag to clear the ring as Jesse consoles Tara. Back in for Tara vs. Mickie as we take a break. Back with Tessmacher getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Tara gets knocked to the floor where Jesse wipes her face, allowing Kim to deck Tessmacher from behind. Back to Kim legally for an over the shoulder back/rib breaker for two.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor but she still manages to block the hot tag. Tara comes in with the slingshot somersault legdrop for two and it’s off to a quick bow and arrow hold. Tessmacher slams Tara face first into the mat and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker on Kim gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher dives on Jesse and Tara on the floor. Gail misses the same charge in the corner again and Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin at 13:04.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here for the same four chicks we’ve seen fight for months. Is Velvet gone again, because we haven’t seen her in the ring for two weeks now. It still seems to be setting up Mickie to take the title off Tara, which makes Sky’s return worthless. Not a bad match here but there was no need for this to be over seven minutes, let alone thirteen.

Aces and 8’s say they have to stay masked.

ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.

We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.

Hulk makes it a three way elimination in a segment that doesn’t need to exist. Next week it’s the two of them against Hardy and whoever Hardy can get.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man

In a cage for absolutely no apparent reason. Doc slams the door on Angle as he gets in the ring, making it a handicap match to start. Joe beats on both guys in the ring as Doc keeps beating up Angle on the outside. D-Von charges into his partner in the corner so Joe can divide and conquer a bit. The numbers finally catch up to Joe and his comeback attempt is quickly stopped. Thankfully there’s no tagging in this. I can’t stand the idea of law and order in a cage match.

D-Von kicks the door into Angle’s head again as the beating continues. We take a break and come back with Joe still fighting both guys off on his own. To be fair it’s not like (presumably) Mike Knox and D-Von would be a huge challenge for a guy like Joe. Angle fights off Doc and gets the key to unlock the cage. Kurt cleans house but can’t get the mask off due to Doc making ANOTHER save. Angle is busted open now but he avoids D-Von’s headbutt. It’s time to roll some Germans on both bikers and the Angle Slam pins the masked man at 11:43.

Rating: C-. Again, why am I supposed to be surprised here? Joe and Angle are two of the biggest stars in TNA history and they’re beating up two guys with barely any singles success ever? This is supposed to be interesting? Nothing to see here for the most part and the cage is just there to try to add some drama I suppose.

Post match more bikers run in to beat down Angle and Joe as Anderson watches from the floor. Sting comes in with the bat to clean house with little fanfare. Aces and 8’s bail, but the masked man from the match is left alone. He gets triple teamed and the mask is pulled off to reveal Mike Knox, shocking ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Gee, just what Aces and 8’s needs: ANOTHER FREAKING CAREER NOTHING. Tenay says Sting just took the power away from Aces and 8’s. Mike, go watch some CMLL or something. It’ll do you a lot of good.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it certainly wasn’t all that great either. At the end of the day, this show has become almost all about drama as we wait to get to next checkpoint in the Aces and 8’s story and any kind of a point at all in Hogan vs. Ray. Hulk is looking like a jerk in this whole thing which doesn’t really do much for Ray at all. Aces and 8’s are still Aces and 8’s as well, but now with two big guys with no career accomplishments. Nothing to see here but at least we FINALLY have some stuff set for Genesis.

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing

Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews