The show is tomorrow and the Rumble I’m watching is really boring so let’s get to it.Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way:

Cesaro retains and the Scholars get the title shot.  Those are about as obvious as you can get.

As for the other four matches, all of them could really go either way.

I’ll take Barrett to win the title, as Kofi really has nothing left to do with it.  He’s the king of the transitional champions, so losing to Barrett is what he’s designed for here.

The TLC match is a very tricky one as you can’t imagine the Shield can hang with these three guys in a match with no advantage, but at the same time you don’t want the Shield to go down in their first match.  I’ll go with Shield to add more members and win.

Now the next two matches are connected, as it’s going to depend on which order they go in and who wins which one.  I’ll go with Sheamus to win the title, but for Big Show to lay him out afterwards, allowing Ziggler, the winner of the ladder match, to cash in and win.  That’s a BIG stretch and if I’m wrong I won’t be surprised in the slightest.

Overall this show is usually pretty fun and this one should be as well, but the booking is very hard to predict.  Also as usual, everything is capped off by Rock next month anyway, making this show really just a pit stop on the way.

Thoughts/predictions?

Since I’m done with 1998 and 2001, the most logical step would be do fill in the gap with 1999 and 2000. Since I don’t want to take over two years to get through these years, I’ll be doing four episodes at a time instead of two, starting with January 1999. In other words, it won’t be two episodes from 99 and then two from 2000 like I did before. This is the year where WWF put its boot on WCW’s neck and crushed them and it should be interesting to see how they did it. Let’s get to it.

Since it’s one of the most famous episodes of Raw ever, I’ve already done the first show of the year. Here’s the review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/24/monday-night-raw-january-4-1999-foley-wins/

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,585
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re two weeks away from the Rumble and we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Mankind. The main stories going on are Vince is the #2 entrant in the Rumble to Austin’s #1, as well as Rock wanting his title match and revenge on Mankind. This is the start of one of the least wrestling heavy years in company history so let’s get to it.

Here’s DX to open the show. After playing to the crowd a bit here’s the NEW WWF World Champion Mankind, complete with his debuting signature song. The McMahons are in the back and getting all ticket off. Foley talks about always wanting to get here and now wants JR to call a match of his as world champion (JR was having health issues at this point mind you).

The champ thanks DX for helping him out last week and Austin for, you know, knocking Rock out cold and all that. Mankind throws the fans a big bone, saying that as long as he’s world champion, Austin will always have a shot at the title and he’d love for it to be at Wrestlemania.

Cue Rock and the McMahons with Rock of course as they can’t stand anymore. Shane doesn’t get the fascination with Mankind, but tonight he’ll do something about DX, meaning they all have matches tonight. Also tonight is the Corporate Rumble, where the winner will be #30 in the Rumble. Rock grabs the mic and says that Mankind didn’t beat him because he needed Austin to help. Ignore the fact that it was technically a clean win because it was anything goes I guess. As for Austin, Rock will take care of him later. Yep, at Wrestlemania.

As for tonight, Rock wants his rematch right here and now. The champ says that he’s already beaten Rock twice, so clearly he’s not championship material. Points for a funny line to Mankind for that one. Rock offers another No DQ match but Mankind won’t bite. Rock offers No Countout but Mankind isn’t persuaded. They trade catchphrases for a bit until Mankind finally says he’ll do it in an I Quit match. Rock seems scared but has to take what he can get. Vince makes Mankind vs. Kane for tonight.

Somehow that took over twenty minutes to get through. Thank you Vince Russo for making this a trend in wrestling.

Austin is here.

The Outlaws think Debra is distracting.

New Age Outlaws vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

Winners get a title shot, presumably at the Rumble. It’s Gunn vs. Owen to start and there’s a gorilla press to Owen and one for Jeff as well. Gunn cranks on the arm of Owen and brings in Roadie for the shaky knee drop and the running crotch attack to Owen’s back as Owen is draped over the middle rope. SOMEONE NAME THAT FREAKING MOVE ALREADY! Off to Jarrett who immediately gets caught in an atomic drop but comes back with a bulldog.

After some heel double teaming, Owen’s Sharpshooter attempt is easily countered and it’s off to Jarrett. In a reunion of the country music act that went on WAY too long, Roadie and Jarrett collide, setting up the double hot tag to Owen and Gunn. With Billy cleaning house, here’s Debra to distract with the yet to be named Puppies. That goes nowhere for Billy (he’s saving himself for Chuck of course) but Chyna goes after her for some reason. That distraction is enough for Owen to roll up Billy for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of the better Outlaws match from a wrestling perspective, which I’m sure had something to do with the fact that it only lasted about four minutes. Owen and Bulldog would win the titles soon after this and hold them until after Wrestlemania. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t the worst match ever.

The Outlaws yell at Chyna for costing them the match.

And now, it is time……for Gillberg. In one of the funniest parodies of all time, the new Light Heavyweight Champion Duane Gill has become Gillberg, complete with the LONG walk from the back, the heavily (and intentionally fake) piped in chants, Gillberg going insane like Goldberg, and the police escort. This is still funny even to this day. We’ve even got the JOB Squad holding up sparklers for the pyro but Gillberg chokes on the smoke. Gillberg wants to know who’s first, and now we get to the real joke.

Gillberg vs. Luna Vachon

Gillberg misses a spear, gets his eyes raked across the top rope, has his Jackhammer countered into a cross body, and is pinned by Luna in about thirty seconds.

Some guy is in a dungeon. This would be revealed as Mideon.

Here’s Val Venis for a match but first he sees a good looking woman in the front row to hit on. Cue Ken Shamrock to destroy Val, shouting to stay away from his sister. This brings out Billy Gunn who says he’s going to moon Ken’s sister. Billy gets a beating as well but Val comes in to beat up Shamrock. Boss Man comes out to save his partner and the ring is cleared. Shamrock gives Billy a shot at the IC Title at the Rumble, because that’s what you do when someone moons your sister.

Mankind and Austin are talking about something.

European Title: Al Snow vs. X-Pac

Pac is defending if you’ve forgotten. Snow takes over to start and pounds away in the corner with headbutts. The champ gets his boot up in the corner but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him right back down. A powerslam puts Pac down again but the moonsault misses. Pac spinwheel kicks Snow into the corner and hits the Bronco Buster…and here’s Goldust. He blasts Snow in the head with Head, allowing Pac to retain the title. Why Goldie was here and what help Snow needed is beyond me but it’s 1999 so what are you going to do?

Al gets hit by Head again by Goldust.

Kane is sure he can win the title on his own. He doesn’t talk but you get the point.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. Kane

Kane charges right at him and we immediately head to the floor. The champ is sent into the steps before he sends Kane into them as well. Mankind dives off the apron to send Kane back first into the steps to slow the Big Fried Freak down. Back in and Kane pounds away, only to run into an elbow in the corner. As has been the case with this match, Kane isn’t that interested in selling so he slams the champ down and kicks him in the face. It’s not going to last long but the idea of two monsters slugging it out until one can’t get up anymore is always fun.

There’s a piledriver to put Kane down and we head back to the floor. That doesn’t last long as Kane rams him into the barricade and heads back inside for two. Top rope clothesline gets two, as does the Double Arm DDT Mankind gets after kicking Kane low. The champ puts on Socko but gets rammed into the corner (again). He jumps on Kane’s back to try to get the Claw on again but Kane counters into a tombstone for no cover. As Kane crawls over, Rock runs in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the crowd was NUTS for Mankind. The guy was on fire at this point and he more than deserved the title. While I’m not at all wild on the new champion getting destroyed here, the ending makes sense as Rock wants to get his revenge on Mankind rather than Kane. Not bad here, but it was short as expected.

Post match Austin comes out to save Mankind but winds up Stunning both masked dudes.

Vince yells at Rock but Rock says he wants to beat Mankind for the title.

HHH vs. Edge

Now here’s a match that would be VERY different in a few years. HHH takes him down to start and pounds away but a charge in the corner hits buckle. A spinwheel kick puts HHH down and we take a break. Back with Edge hitting a clothesline and a kind of bulldog for two. HHH makes his comeback with punches and the flying knee, followed by a boot to the face of a charging Edge in the corner. After a quick comeback by Edge, the Pedigree ends this. Nothing to see here, but man alive it’s weird to see these two in this spot.

Immediately post match the lights go out and Roadie gets a blood bath.

Cue the druids and we’ve got an Undertaker symbol. The Acolytes bring out Dennis Knight on a board. Then a tall dark man in a robe comes out to Undertaker’s music. Cole: “I THINK THAT’S THE UNDERTAKER!” Taker sits on a throne in front of the symbol and talks about how people have tried to put him down but he’s come back with a vengeance. The Ministry of Darkness is going to destroy the heroes and the plague of darkness is coming. He talks about how he’ll have few followers but it won’t matter.

Bearer pulls out a knife of some kind and Taker walks over to Knight. Knife in hand, Taker speaks in tongues over Knight….and slices his own wrist open. He pours the blood into a goblet and pours it down Knight’s throat. You want to talk about something that makes me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan, this would be a good place to start. Taker dubs him Mideon and starts carving symbols into his chest. A blot of lightning hits the symbol and it lights on fire. Mideon starts LEVITATING to end the segment. This actually happened on a wrestling show, I kid you not. Somehow, this would actually get worse.

D’Lo says he’ll do whatever Terri asks but this is too much. This is because Terri lost her baby or whatever.

D’Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry

No match, as Terri immediately hits Mark low. Chyna and Sammi make the save. If you don’t know who Sammi is……oh you will very soon.

Vince is in the snow running to a bad Rocky imitation. Shane has a bullhorn and is coaching Vince along. Now Vince has to chase a chicken. Vince: “I’M THE CEO OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY!” After the training they go to a steakhouse, but instead of eating, Vince gets to beat on the meat in the back. More funny stuff here.

Corporate Rumble

This is a mini-Rumble where the winner gets to be #30. We open with Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn (not in the Corporation so I guess this is an open field for some reason?) and after a break we’re ready to go. Oh apparently this is DX vs. the Corporation. Why would Vince agree to that? Shamrock kicks Gunn off the apron before Gunn gets in and DIVES ONTO THE FLOOR, eliminating himself in the process.

Shamrock pounds away on Billy as Shane cheers him on. The Boss Man is #3 and Billy is in big trouble already. Gunn comes back with a forearm but Boss Man chokes him down. Test is #4 (I think the intervals are about once a minute) to make it two on one. A big boot put Gunn down but they can’t eliminate him. Thankfully X-Pac is #5 but after only a few seconds, Test hiptosses Billy out.

The layout powerbomb puts Pac down but Road Dogg is #6. He’s still got the blood all over him and nothing happens until Kane is #7. A clothesline puts Roadie out and Pac is stuck 3-1. HHH is #8 and things speed up. Test accidentally hits Kane and gets knocked out as a result. HHH and Pac take out Kane but Pac is eliminated in the process. That leaves HHH vs. Boss Man….until Vince is a surprise entrant at #9.

Shane of course erupts as Vince sneaks in and eliminates both guys to seemingly win the thing. He tears his shirt off ala Hogan, but Chyna is another surprise entrant at #10. The place goes nuts but the Stooges won’t let her get in. Chyna decks both of them and here comes Austin. The distraction is enough to let Chyna throw Vince out (apparently knocking him out cold in the process) and get the #30 spot. Shane freaks to end the show.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade because the wrestling barely existed, but the fan reaction was incredible, as Vince got a ton of heat but Chyna’s pop was even better. Good surprise here but as usual, it’s all about the payoff and nothing about the buildup to that payoff. Such is life in the Attitude Era.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, as goes the main event so goes the rest of the show. The problem here is that there’s nothing really good from a wrestling perspective, but it did a great job at building up the Rumble, as well as giving us two hilarious bits with Gillberg and Vince’s training. The problem is you have the Ministry starting, which is just completely terrible and drags things WAY down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’ve seen this move used for years and I have no idea what to call it.  This is driving me crazy because simple things like this make me insane.It’s the one where a guy is in position for a 619 and the other guy hits a running crotch attack to the back of the guy in 619 position.  Big Bossman, Jeff Jarrett and Road Dogg regularly used this.  Whatever the best one I get by…..let’s say the time TLC goes on the air will be the official name of the move until either eternity or until I get bored with it and want something new.

Go.

Smackdown
Date: December 14, 2012
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before TLC and most of the show is set. We’ve got Big Show vs. Sheamus not being able to fight each other (despite having dark matches at these TV tapings) until their chairs match on Sunday. We’ve also got the potential of the Shield attacking again which should be interesting for the most part. Other than that it’s likely to be another dull show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with the massive brawl between Shield, HELL NO, Ryback, Cena, Show, Sheamus and Ziggler. We also cover the major feuds going into Sunday.

Big Show vs. R-Truth

Sheamus and Cesaro are both on commentary. Show pounds away on him to start and beats him into the corner with a shot to the ribs. We head to the floor where Truth gets beaten up even more, including being bounced off the ropes to crash onto the floor. Cesaro looks to interfere but Sheamus shoves him back into his chair. After Show yells at Sheamus a bit, Truth FINALLY gets his feet up in the corner and chokes Show a bit. Show misses an elbow and Truth hits the ax kick for two. The Little Jimmy is countered and the WMD gets the pin for Show at 4:44.

Rating: D. Nice to see a guy that is treated as someone who doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title on Sunday getting destroyed here on Smackdown. Truth got in like two kicks and that’s the extent of his offense here. In other words, the #1 contender to the US Title is being treated like a jobber. Why is anyone surprised the midcard titles mean nothing?

Show gets in Sheamus’ face post match and Cesaro jumps Sheamus from behind, sending him into Show. Show laughs and shouts that Sheamus touched him so the match is off.

Post break Show tries to talk Booker into calling off the match because of Sheamus hitting him. Booker says that it was because of Cesaro so the match is still on. What an excessively pointless segment.

Here’s Damien Sandow (with what sounds like new music) to search for an apprentice. Instead of looking tonight though, he brings out Cody for their match. Cody’s mustache gets another chant which is at least a reaction for him. Cody starts to talk about Miz but the Usos’ music cuts him off.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos

This is joined in progress after a break with Jimmy hitting a clothesline on Cody. Off to Jey who gets distracted by Sandow, allowing Cody to crank on the arm. Sandow comes in and drops a knee for two. We hear about Sandow graduating from high school at 12 and being valedictorian. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and here’s Cody again. After a release from suplex, Rhodes hooks a seated full nelson.

JBL talks about how Cody’s mustache looks (JBL: “He looks like a bowed up Freddie Mercury.” Josh: “I’ll have to Google him later.”) until it’s a hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Jimmy loads up the splash but Cody crawls over to Sandow for the tag. Everything breaks down and Sandow rolls up Jimmy for the pin with a handful of tights at 3:52.

Rating: C-. JBL’s mustache lines made this match better but it was fine in its own right. This was about giving the Scholars momentum going into Sunday and it did that well enough. The one thing I really liked here was Josh mentioning Sandow’s background. Making up stuff about characters is a great way to push them forward, yet for some reason it’s been decided that such an idea is evil. I’d love to see it make a comeback.

Show talks to Otunga about the no contact clause.

Here are Show and Otunga in the ring for another legal issue because we haven’t had one of those angles in a few months. David talks about how Booker is clearly biased and they’re going to the Board of Directors. Otunga is going to demand that the chairs match be called off and that Booker be thrown out as GM. Booker comes out and says that the match is still going to happen, but Otunga says that just because Booker was in prison it doesn’t make him a legal expert. Also they’re going to get Sheamus fired too.

Cue Sheamus with a chair and a microphone. He says if there’s no match, there’s nothing stopping him from beating up Show right now. Show, the ferocious monster, says the contract is still valid and the match is still on. You know, because THE BIG SHOW has to be a coward heel as well. Brogue Kick lays out Otunga.

We get a clip of Orton destroying Brad Maddox two weeks ago. They might as well show the whole match as it wasn’t even 90 seconds long. This led to the Shield attacking Orton

We come back from a break to see Orton being destroyed by the Shield after apparently putting him through a table. I believe he has a wrist injury so there’s his exit off TV. Orton is injured. Imagine that.

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Aksana hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a headlock to take over on the mat. Kaitlyn fights up and flips Aksana forward but can’t break the hold. Some forearms get two for Aksana and it’s off to a chinlock. Josh keeps asking why the Shield would do that to Orton, causing JBL to go into a hilarious rant against Josh, telling him to take his spiky hair and go ask them.

Back to the chinlock by Aksana which can’t even be broken by a side slam. This match has been going on for three and a half minutes and Aksana has had a head/chinlock on for about three minutes out of that. Kaitlyn comes back with forearms and a beal to set up a gutbuster for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D-. This had to be a rib right? Aksana was basically no selling everything that Kaitlyn did to her by not letting go of that hold, which doesn’t really do any good for anyone here. The Divas are somehow getting worse over time, which completely boggles my mind. Aksana may very well be the worst in ring working chick I’ve ever seen. Let that sink in for a bit.

Orton has a separated shoulder and might have a concussion.

Here’s MizTV with special guests HELL NO. Bryan says that he doesn’t want to talk about how he’s feeling, because it’s time to unleash all of the anger that he apparently has in him. He’ll do that on Sunday with tables, ladders and chairs. When the Shield is begging for mercy, Bryan is going to tell them NO. Kane talks about looking forward to using everything they can on Sunday and Bryan says YES they will.

The champions are cut off by another Joker style promo from the Shield, who say you can ask Randy Orton what happens when you mess with the Shield. They say Bryan can’t hide behind Kane and that the sword of justice will be served. Kane says why wait until Sunday and Shield says they agree. Miz is gone as Kane and Bryan look for the Shield. They’re in a sky box and slowly come down, but cue Ryback before Shield can make it to the ring. Shield turns and walks away.

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players

Titus vs. Khali to start things off with Khali chopping him down quickly. Young gets a chop as well before it’s off to Horny for some comedy spots on O’Neal. Young comes in to try to take over on Horny as Josh doesn’t know who Harpo Marx is. Tyson comes in but is almost immediately stomped down. Primo gets in some shots before it’s off to Epico who gets two off a slingshot elbow. Natalya and Rosa get in a fight on the floor as Primo gets two off a dropkick. In a cool ending, Tyson tries a sunset flip but Primo falls on top in a cover, but Kidd rolls backwards into a sunset flip for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. I really would love it if Kidd and Gabriel could do something other than fill in spots in a stupid tag match like this. Khali and Horny are your usual opposites tag team who do nothing new but are there for the kids and the heels are all relatively entertaining. For some reason this is the best spot that Kidd and Gabriel can get. Welcome to modern day WWE.

Post match Horny dives on Titus and has to be saved by Kidd and Gabriel.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio takes him into the corner to start as JBL talks about how awesome his Spanish is now. Kofi speeds things up and does his double leapfrogs before hooking an armbar. Del Rio takes it to the mat to take over before missing a charge in the corner. Ten punches in the corner stagger Del Rio and a European uppercut gets two for Kingston. Alberto works on the back and arm for a bit before Kofi climbs the corner and hits a top rope chop. The Mexican is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a big dive to take him out. Del Rio shoves him into the post on the apron as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio putting on a reverse chinlock which doesn’t last that long. Almost none of the spots or holds in this match are lasting long at all. Kofi tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Alberto loads up Trouble in Paradise (you read that right) but Kofi sends him into the corner instead. Del Rio does the exact same thing to take over again before hitting the running enziguri for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a few moments, followed by a belly to back suplex for two on Kofi. Out of nowhere, Kofi escapes another belly to back into a rollup for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: D+. Alberto Del Rio is very uninteresting. He’s long since reached one of the worst points you can reach in wrestling: he’s just there. There’s nothing going on with him but he keeps appearing on TV to remind you that he does in fact still exist. I’ve heard rumors of turning him face, but unless they give him a character, nothing is going to come from it.

Kofi goes to the ramp and ducks a charging Barrett before kicking him in the face.

The Raw ReBound is Ziggler’s promo from the opening of the show, the interaction with Show vs. Sheamus, AND most of the match with Ziggler vs. Sheamus. I’m very curious if they aired the whole thing on the regular broadcast as the international broadcast that I watch is often changed. Upon watching the regular version, it is indeed different. Instead of the match, it’s a LONG recap of the entire Cena vs. Ziggler buildup. That’s rather interesting.

We run down the PPV card.

Now we look at the Sheamus/Show/Otunga segment from earlier.

Regal is in the back with Show and says stay calm but don’t take Cesaro lightly. Sheamus says he’ll lay Show out on Sunday with chair shot after chair shot.

Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro rams into him to start, knocking Sheamus down. Sheamus does the exact same thing and it’s a standoff. Apparently Orton doesn’t have a concussion. Sheamus hits a shoulder in the corner and a running knee lift for two. Antonio tries to jump over Sheamus out of the corner but gets caught in a Regal Roll for two instead. Sheamus gets sent to the floor but gets caught with a knee coming back in.

Off to a kind of chinlock by Antonio, followed by a European uppercut to the back of Sheamus’ head for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same in an impressive display of strength. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over, including a top rope shoulder for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes….and here’s Big Show on the stage with an injured Regal in front of him. Sheamus goes to get him but Show cracks Regal with a chair. Cesaro wins via countout at 7:24 to end the show.

Rating: C+. Cesaro continues to impress and it’s a good sign that they’re keeping him this strong. Truth has zero chance of taking the title on Sunday and that’s a good thing, as Cesaro isn’t quite ready for the main event yet but he’s making a strong champion. Other than that, Sheamus could indeed win the title back on Sunday and this loss allows for him to be kept strong while advancing the title match as well. Good little main event here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was like a car that kept trying to start but it couldn’t quite get going. They did a decent job of setting up the PPV, but at the same time there was a lot of filler in this. Some of the matches felt like they were just there to fill in time, but on top of that we had the show contained angle of Show trying to get out of the title match. That added more or less nothing other than making Show look like a coward which seemed to be forgotten by the ending.

It’s almost like they have no idea what to do with the huge roster they have and throw out random things that are somewhat related to their active stories to fill time. Nah that can’t be right. I clearly just don’t get the nuances of the stories they’re telling. Decent go home show this week but not a good show overall if that makes sense.

Results

Big Show b. R-Truth – WMD

Rhodes Scholars b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy with a handful of tights

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Gutbuster

Hornswoggle/Great Khali/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players – Sunset Flip to Primo

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Antonio Cesaro b. Sheamus via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

It’s after Final Resolution now and we’re heading towards Genesis in January. After one of the least interesting PPVs I can remember in years on Sunday, hopefully things pick up a bit this week. If my math is correct, we’re probably coming up on another gimmick show in a few weeks because where would we be without those? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Here’s Bobby Roode to open the show and he’s ticked off. He says that he made a business investment with Aces and 8’s but he got ripped off. Roode wants answers and he wants them NOW. Here are the bikers and D-Von says they were offered a better deal. Roode demands to know who outbid him and it’s…..not going to be revealed right now. D-Von says you might find out later tonight.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

We’ve got Madison in the always hot blue camo and Velvet in a black catsuit. I’m happy. Velvet takes over to start and hits some kicks to the back as we hear about Aces and 8’s vs. Storm/Hardy in the main event tonight. Great, ANOTHER match the bikers get to lose. Madison comes back with a shot to the chest and stands on Velvet’s hair a bit. There’s that pelvic thrust thing that Madison does which I think is supposed to be sexy in some way. Velvet makes a comeback and hits an X Factor for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is how good the girls look. This was as dull as almost any match I can remember in months, with absolutely nothing standing out at all. I get that Velvet is back and all, but it’s not like she’s some kind of savior or anything like that.

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

Angle is with the small guys. The Robs attack from behind to start and T starts with Wes. Big Rob pounds away and works over Wes’ back before it’s off to E. Hot tag brings in Garrett and the fans just dno’t care. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker staggers T and Wes hits a top rope cross body for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. I do not care about Brisco and Bischoff and that’s all there is to it. They’re just not interesting in the ring or on the mic or in any way whatsoever. They have jobs because of who their fathers are and that’s not something that interests me in the slightest. If TNA thinks we’re going to care about them if/when they join Aces and 8’s, TNA is crazier than I thought.

Post match a member of Aces and 8’s hits Kurt in the knee with a pipe, injuring him before his match next week against D-Von.

Angle’s knee is messed up in the back. Word on the street (as in Angle’s Twitter) is that Kurt has a groin injury so I guess this is their out.

Joseph Park (driving a Beetle) goes to OVW to train. He meets Danny Davis, the OVW owner, and says he’ll start training right now. Park runs laps around the ring and does situps while Davis yells at him. He also vomits in a trashcan. More on this later I’m assuming.

Tara and Jesse come in to annoy Brooke. Apparently it’s Jesse vs. Ray tonight and Brooke has very little to say. She’s another person I can’t stand for the most part.

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Doc and the big guy, which is Mike Knox. Storm and Doc start things off with James pounding away before bringing in Hardy. Hardy gets to pound on the big guy now, which is rather pitiful looking given how bad Jeff’s punches are. He knocks both guys to the floor and hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Hardy kicking Doc in the face but getting clotheslined by the big guy.

The bikers pound away on Jeff on the floor before taking turns unleashing their wide variety of punches and kicks. The big guy literally just lays on Jeff as this is already dull. The beating goes on for a good while with Doc using a long chinlock. Jeff fights up but can’t escape, resulting in him being sent out to the floor. Off to another chinlock which Hardy finally escapes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Not that it leads to the hot tag or anything but at least was something different.

Hardy hits the mule kick and FINALLY brings in Storm. House is cleaned and a top rope cross body gets two on the big guy. Poetry in Motion hits the masked guy and the other bikers come in. D-Von drops the bat….and it doesn’t matter as Last Call takes out Doc and the Twist pins the masked guy at 14:42.

Rating: D+. FREAKING DO SOMETHING WITH ACES AND 8’S ALREADY!!!!! They had like six guys on two here and they STILL couldn’t win? The match was fine with Hardy selling like a master like only he could, but Aces and 8’s are just such a waste of space anymore. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s can’t win when they have this big of an advantage. So why should I ever be intimidated by them?

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Here’s AJ to address what happened on Sunday. He’s upset about losing, so the fans tell him that he’s still got it. AJ says he’s not going anywhere but he’s tired of looking after everyone else all the time. It’s time to look after AJ Styles and it has nothing to do with the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter or Impact Wrestling. He’s tired of cleaning up every corporate mess and always doing the right thing. From now on, he’s going to do his own thing. Ok then. This didn’t come off like a heel turn.

Dixie gets AJ’s shirt thrown in her face.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

This is the non-title version of a match that wasn’t good when the title was on the line. They trade kicks and armdrags to start until RVD gets in a kick to take over. Kenny kicks a lackadaisical RVD to the floor and hits a corkscrew dive for two. Back in and King hits a floatover suplex and right hands as he’s playing the heel in the match. Kenny hits a kind of splash in the corner but a second attempt hits a kick from Van Dam.

A top rope legdrop hits King for two but he comes back with a springboard Blockbuster (kind of at least) for two. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but misses a split legged moonsault. The northern lights suplex gets two for Rob and he takes Kenny’s head off with a stepover kick. Van Dam goes up for a cross body but King rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. This was easily the best match of the night so far and WAY better than the match on Sunday. King turning heel is a good fit for him as he has a lot of Shelton Benjamin in him: insanely athletic but needing a bit more of an attitude. Good stuff here and it’s a decent feud for RVD at least.

Bully Ray comes in to see Hogan and wants to know where Hogan stands on things. Hogan is all ticked off and wants to know why Ray is making his personal stuff Hogan’s business. He blames Bully for Brooke being in danger and says he hasn’t changed his stance on Ray at all. Ray GOES NUTS, and suggests he has nothing to do with Brooke and that it’s a one way street.

He says that Brooke was apologizing for Hulk, which Hogan somehow twists into Brooke and Ray should never be around each other again. Ray goes on a big rant about how he should be on Team Hogan (egads there’s a freaking Team Hogan now?) after everything he’s been through and Hulk needs to realize his daughter is a grown woman. Ray leaves and Hogan calls him weak. Good grief they have an interesting story like this and it’s all about Brooke Hogan. Is ANYBODY surprised by that?

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Ray chases Jesse and Tara out of the ring and pounds on Jesse to start. This turns into a total squash with Ray just destroying Jesse and no selling any offense from him. Ray hits a chop in the corner that actually makes me cringe. The fans get another chop that they demand and Tara comes in. Thankfully it’s not a DQ as she only gets spanked once and leaves. Jesse jumps Bully from behind and takes over with some forearms. Godderz pounds away but Ray comes back with a single chop. Jesse actually clotheslines Ray down but Bully shrugs it all off and wins with the Bubba Cutter at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was way better than I was expecting and the chops alone make the match worth seeing. Ray is getting more and more awesome every week, but unfortunately this is all being wasted on Brooke freaking Hogan, because being Hulk Hogan’s daughter isn’t enough publicity for her or something like that. Hopefully Ray can actually win an important match soon.

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

We recap the ending of the PPV and the announcement of Aries as the guy who gave the bigger offer to the bikers. Aries talks about how he was in the war with Aces and 8’s but he never got paid for helping against them or anything like that. He wants the title back, so here’s Hardy. Hardy says all Aries had to do was ask but Aries says he has to jump through hoops to get his match. Jeff offers Aries a title shot right here next week in the Impact Zone. Aries says he’ll do it on his time. Oh good grief. Hardy punches him and they fight with Hardy hitting the Twist. The show goes off the air at 9:58. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D+. The last forty five minutes weren’t horrible but the rest of the show was some pretty dull stuff. Ray continues to be awesome, but man alive the Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco stuff drags down almost anything good they’ve got going on. Aries, Roode and Hardy isn’t bad, but it needs something more than these guys guys just going back and forth like they’re doing.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Aces and 8’s – Twist of Fate to Masked Man

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal

It’s finally time for Mahal vs. Rollins II, which is annoying as things have changed a lot since this was filmed. Anyway, the match last time was fine but I wish there was more of a reason for these two to be fighting instead of just over the title. All we’ve really heard is “I’m the champion” and “I want the title.” That’s not exactly enough to hook fans with a guy treated as a jobber in WWE vs. a member of a team whose gimmick doesn’t exist in NXT yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title situation and Mahal attacking Rollins recently.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Apparently Banks is debuting here and has been in the New England indies for a few years. I really have an issue with two people in a match being younger than me. It makes me feel old watching this. Banks isn’t bad looking but Paige is WAY over with the fans here. Paige takes Banks to the mat with a headscissors and rolls her around with it in a move I haven’t seen before.

Sasha nips up to escape and hits a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner for two. Paige goes into banshee mode with her screaming and the fans go NUTS. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Paige and it’s off to a double chickenwing. Sasha escapes with a pair of rollups for two but Paige hits that snap Angle Slam kind of move called the Paige Turner for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C. Nothing too bad here as Paige continues to impress. She’s clearly very comfortable in the ring and can do whatever is needed of her. Her looks are just a bonus at this point, but unfortunately she likely would get messed up on the main roster because of her pale skin color. Anyway, decent match here and Sasha looked decent enough.

Roman Reigns brags about the size of his watch but gets a phone call and leaves.

We recap the end of last week’s show where Regal saved Kidd from Kruger and Ohno.

Ohno and Kruger are gunning for Steamboat, Kidd and Barretta. Kruger’s voice is pretty awesome here. Oh and if Regal gets involved in their business again, Regal can join them in the ICU.

Oliver Grey vs. ???

Before the match, we get another awesome Bray Wyatt promo about love and power. Wyatt brings out his son, who is a big bald guy with an awesome beard whose name I couldn’t understand. The guy is big and muscular and he kicks Grey in the face to start. He looks like he’s in green prison garb for lack of a better description. Wyatt is sitting in a rocking chair on the stage. The guy slams Grey down and puts on a bearhug where he whips Grey from side to side. A big side slam ends Grey at 2:00.

Post match Wyatt says the man’s name is Rowan and says to follow the buzzards.

Here’s Commissioner Dusty Rhodes to hype up the main event. However, he also wants to talk about Vickie Guerrero. Vickie is welcome here any time, but there are no bounties allowed in NXT unless it’s run by Dusty. The bounty is officially revoked and here’s Camacho to protest. He calls Dusty jefe (boss) and Dusty says it’s either General Commissioner or…..Camacho: “El Capitan?” Dusty: “I LOVE THAT!” Camacho says the bounty has to be on because he has to get Hunico out of Mexico. If Dusty doesn’t reinstate the bounty then Camacho is going to reinstate it on Dusty.

This brings out Big E. Langston, and Dusty makes a handicap match with Camacho and whoever he picks against Langston. Big E. is cool with that. Again: Dusty isn’t out here long and he makes something happen while advancing a storyline. Dusty was there about four minutes, which is the longest time he’s been on camera yet on this show.

Big Show is answering Bo Dallas’ challenge. He says that he’s going to knock out Dallas so that Dallas never makes it to the main shows. That’s next week as well.

NXT Title: Seth Rollins vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is now in 3MB, which is annoying as all the promos and videos tonight have had Mahal in his old attire. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Mahal immediately heads to the floor for a few seconds to mess with Rollins’ head. Back in and the champion (Rollins) goes for Mahal’s arm, sending him to the ropes for more stalling. Rollins hooks a headlock which goes nowhere so Seth peppers him with forearms.

They head to the floor and Rollins hits a HARD chop. Back in and Seth hits some kicks as Mahal is in trouble. Jinder sends him to the apron and shoves Seth off the ropes to finally take over. We take a break and come back with Mahal choking in the corner. A suplex on the floor gets two for Mahal and it’s off to a double arm hold. That doesn’t last long so a backbreaker gets another two count, as does a knee to the face.

We hit a quick chinlock but Rollins fights out with some shots to the ribs and a backdrop. Seth tries to go up top but is almost immediately crotched. A clothesline gets two for Jinder and it’s back to the chinlock as we take another break. Back with Rollins in a reverse chinlock which is transitioned into a regular version. Rollins fights up and hits a big enziguri to put both guys down.

Back up and Seth dropkicks Mahal down and fires off right hands on the mat. They slug it out until Mahal gets clotheslined to the floor. Rollins hits a suicide dive and Mahal is in trouble. Back in and Seth hits a springboard knee to the side of the head for two. Seth puts him on the top and kicks Mahal in the head, but his super rana is countered into a sunset flip for two.

Jinder comes back again with a sitout slam for two but jumps into a dropkick/knee to the ribs from Seth. This is a very back and forth match. Rollins misses a splash in the corner and Jinder pounds away. Seth counters out of it and hits the running buckle bomb on the opposite corner. The full nelson slam is escaped so Mahal hits a knee to the back of the head and hooks the camel clutch. Seth immediately gets to the rope and comes back with the low superkick (Avada Kedavra) and the standing Sliced Bread (Skywalker) for the pin to retain at 15:20 shown of 22:20.

Rating: B. No complaints here as these two have some solid chemistry together. Thankfully this wasn’t a comedy match for Mahal and he was just in different attire instead of being completely goofy. Rollins winning these come from behind matches is the perfect way to build up a guy like him and the match worked very well overall. Good stuff, especially for a TV match.

Corey Graves gets in Rollins’ face to end the show with a sarcastic clap.

Overall Rating: A. Good match, decent Divas match, good character stuff with Wyatt and Rowan, setting up the next title feud, promo addressing the end of last week’s show and two big matches announced for next week. What else could you possibly want in a one hour wrestling show?

Results

Paige b. Sasha Banks – Paige Turner

Rowan b. Oliver Grey – Side Slam

Seth Rollins b. Jinder Mahal – Skywalker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,668
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the second half of our double feature I guess you’d call it. I just got done posting the Fingerpoke of Doom show. This is the Raw from the same night which of course features Mankind winning his first world title. The rest of the show is more or less forgotten and since this is my favorite moment in the history of wrestling I just wanted to do this show. Let’s get to it.

A video about the career of HBK opens the show. He had recently been fired as Commissioner by Vince so this is kind of a goodbye thing. Vince yells to cut the video, so we cut to the arena to see the Corporation coming to the ring. There is a lot of talent in there to put it mildly. Oh and Test is there too. Vince talks about how Shawn humiliated his son and if anyone does that again, they have to deal with Vince.

A live shot of Shawn coming to the arena is shown on the screen, and there’s the music. Not sure what the point of the video was since he was there seconds later. He has the cavalry with him, and it’s DX. And by that, I mean the REAL DX: HHH, X-Pac, Chyna and the Outlaws. This team with Shawn is a weird visual but cool at the same time.

According to Shawn he’s still the Commissioner because the contract is iron clad and Vince said the Commissioner answered to no one, including Vince. Shawn says the only way he leaves is if he resigns, which more or less set up the Vince makes Shawn’s life a living nightmare angle. We see a clip of Vince drawing his number for the Rumble and he wanted #2. Shawn therefore grants his wish, setting up one of the worst Rumbles of all time. He also promises Vince a surprise for later in the night, which will drive him Stone Cold Crazy.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

By the way, Cole is somehow more of an annoying douche here than he is now.Shamrock is the IC and a tag champion here but this is nontitle. Ken was in the ring for the opening segment but had a regular entrance for no apparent reason. It’s a striking contest to start with Blackman taking over. We hear about Billy Gunn feuding with Shamrock, more or less giving away the ending.

Dan Severn, in a neck brace, comes down. He used to be both UFC Champion and NWA Champion at the same time. It’s so weird hearing about UFC on WWF TV. His mustache on his own could probably win the IC Title. It’s that awesome. Dan and Shamrock were big rivals in UFC so there’s the reason. Shamrock hits his belly to belly which is more of a throw than anything else. Severn pops up on the apron and Billy Gunn runs down for a Fameasser to Shamrock, giving Blackman the pin. Predictable but fine.

Rating: N/A. Not about the match or anything as this was just for the angle. That’s perfectly fine and is a common practice in wrestling today still. Blackman was just boring to put it mildly, but he was trying at least. The Attitude Era was known for having a point to everything, and this had about three angles going at once, which is average for the time.

Gunn and Shamrock are fighting in the back.

Here comes Mankind for no apparent reason. He doesn’t have his far more famous music yet either. Foley beat up Shane last week apparently. Foley: “I swear that was the first time I’ve ever grabbed another man’s testicles.” He’s just awesome at this point with his promos as he’s a clueless putz that seems to find himself in the top feuds in the company but everyone loves him and he can back it up. It was just out there all the time, but it worked like a charm.

He wants a shot at the Rock and the Title at the Rumble. We get an I Love Lucy reference as he says that’s what the fans want. He corrects the fans by saying he’s not God but he’s good. Foley beat Rock at Rock Bottom but Vince changed the decision. Vince comes out and blames Foley for blaming the fans. He says Foley hasn’t paid his dues and no more title shots for him.

Vince makes HHH vs. Foley tonight with the winner getting a spot in the Rumble. We see a clip of Foley beating up Shane, and Shane is announced as the guest referee. I knew that before it was said. There was a hardon for guest refs around this time so it was pretty clear that was coming.

Chyna and her friend Sammy are here.

Mark Henry vs. Goldust

Henry is sexual chocolate here and wants Chyna. How weird is it that these two are still employed? Goldie is still a bit insane here unlike now when there is nothing special about his character in the slightest. Goldust goes to the legs because that’s what you do against every big man you ever fight. Just as always, it doesn’t work.

Henry more or less dominates, hitting a big elbow drop. A press slam drop ends Goldie’s comeback and here are Chyna and Sammy on the stage. This allows Goldust to hit Shattered Dreams, which is of course a DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time and did nothing but set up the angle that’s about to happen. Goldust didn’t really mean much at all and Henry was in this whole thing with Chyna. You got a lot more pointless matches like these at this time, but it was a far more angle heavy period of time.

Sammy and Chyna get in and Chyna has something to say. The other night with him was incredible, but she’s not enough woman for him. She introduces him to her friend Sammy. Chyna makes the inevitable offer, and Henry faints. I’m not sure if this ends tonight, but the payoff for this is BAD. Apparently it doesn’t but Sammy is a transvestite. Gotta love Russo!

Jesse Ventura is governor of Minnesota. That’s still insane. His line at the inauguration: “We shocked the world.” Amen. Also for you REALLY old school fans, Terry, Tyrell and Jade are here, more commonly known as his wife, son and daughter. Just in case you never got those references.

Dennis Knight (soon to be Mideon) is in a dungeon, chained to the ceiling with various metal objects hanging around and laying on the floor. Sure why not?

Godfather vs. Test

Test is in the Corporation, which would change later. He had just debuted recently before this as a hired gun. Ho Train hits and Test is in trouble. Val Venis comes out as Test hits a big boot. Godfather and Test fight on the floor and the referee just throws it out for no apparent reason. Val runs down and brawls with Test. This whole thing took like 2 minutes.

DX is talking.

Mankind vs. HHH

Winner goes to the Rumble. Shane is guest referee. HHH works on the arm as Cole is REALLY annoying already. This is going to be short. Foley hits a baseball slide to put HHH down. HHH gets a sunset flip but Foley grabs the ropes. Shane kicks his arm and makes a fast count to end it. Like I said it was short, as in like 2 minutes.

HHH apologizes but says business is business and a win is a win. To avoid thoughts of a heel turn he gives Shane a Pedigree before saying to Foley that Shane is all his. Mankind says this is something my high school coach taught me. He more or less puts Shane in an abdominal stretch while sitting down. Foley says he’ll break Shane’s shoulder if Vince and the Stooges, who have just come out (ok not in Patterson’s case but 2/3 isn’t bad), come any closer. He wants a title shot TONIGHT and makes Shane screams. Vince agrees but Foley wants No Disqualifications. It’s on, and Rock comes out to yell at Vince.

Slam of the Week is X-Pac getting kicked in the head by Bossman.

We recap what just happened.

Edge vs. D’Lo Brown

Edge has only been around about 6 months at this point and still comes through the crowd. I LOVED this guy back in the day and did for a long time. Brown and Henry have been having issues with PMS, so expect a run in here. No bell here as we just get going. Big plancha to the floor by Edge which has no effect for some reason.

Liger Bomb to Edge doesn’t get a cover as D’Lo has to play to the crowd. Very nice top rope cross body from Edge gets two. Here’s PMS as has been a theme tonight. Terri is pregnant but won’t say who the father is. D’lo accidentally knocks her to the floor and she holds her stomach. This would result in Brown being their slave more or less. I hated this stable, as did most people. The match just ends.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match as Brown was always solid in the ring and Edge was AWESOME when he debuted. This was a great pairing and I’d love to see them go at it again. And then we have to do a lost baby angle which was one of Russo’s favorites. It turned out that Terri was never pregnant of course.

Kane comes out with Shane, Bearer and the Stooges. He’s in the Corporation as well but doesn’t seem happy about it. Kane has a sign on his back for the Brisco Brothers’ Body Shop. Shane says this is a handicap match against the Stooges. Wait what?

Gerald Brisco/Pat Patterson vs. Kane

Vince comes out again and says this is because the Stooges were partially responsible for Shane getting hurt last week. Patterson tries to bribe Kane with what he has in his pocket: a cigarette and a condom. Would anyone else like to just watch Patterson go about his daily life? Chokeslam for Brisco. Patterson gets a chair but Kane sees him. Shane is in the ring with a mic and egging Kane on which is funny stuff. Kane PUNTS the chair off the mat and over the top. That was rather impressive looking actually. Kane grabs Shane by the throat but Vince says Kane will go back, meaning to an insane asylum. Not even a match.

Dennis Knight is still in the dungeon. The Acolytes come in and say “he’s ready for you.” Knight is more scared by this. The he is Undertaker and Knight would become Mideon in a FREAKY ceremony the next week.

Hardcore Title: A lSnow vs. Road Dogg

Snow is the challenger and wearing a shirt covered in “blood” from a bloodbath from the Brood. Snow hides behind the curtain and we fight on the stage. The Hardcore Title was actually a coveted title at this point and not a joke. It’s very violent very early as Snow is dominating. He hits a moonsault off the barricade but Road Dogg moves, sending Snow through a table.

Big old cookie sheet (why are those under wrestling rings or in arenas ever?) gets two. They head up the ramp and off to the side towards the back. Dogg goes up a set of steps and does a flying leap to take Snow down with a double axehandle. We’re in a supply closet now or something and various stupid things are used as weapons.

They find a cart of potted plants to throw at each other. This is more intense than it sounds. Snow gets a steel pole and does some nice spinning and flipping (there’s a proper term for it but I can’t think of it. Think of a drill team) with it before driving it into Roadie. They go outside into the snow. Keep in mind this is Massachusetts in early January so it’s FREEZING.

Snow gets put in a wheelbarrow or something and shoved into a wall. The referee can’t stand up in the snow which is kind of funny. A piledriver on a wooden pallet pins Snow so Road Dogg retains (Cole of course says he won the title because Michael Cole is a idiotic nitwit).

Rating: B. Keep in mind this was a hardcore match and not a regular match when thinking about that grade. This was actually quite good and worked rather well. Road Dogg was cleaning up his real life a lot around this time and got off of drugs and stopped drinking for the most part and his in ring work went WAY up as a result. The push was kind of a reward for it and he would get the IC Title in two months. This was one of the better Hardcore Title matches I remember actually.

Dennis Knight is thrown through a door.

The Corporation jumps Shawn and beats the living heck out of him, throwing him into the window of a car. That’s all in theory that is as the cameraman was knocked down and we heard glass breaking. When we come back Shawn is bloody and in the windshield.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. The Rock

This is No DQ remember. This is the match that Tony Schiavone gave the ending away to on their show, shifting the ratings for the night because of it. DX comes out to back up Foley, because they couldn’t go to the hospital with Shawn or help defend him right? Rock of course has the Corporation with him.

Rock jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor. He won’t let the Corporation beat them up because he wants to do it himself. How noble of our heel champion. Foley does his first sick bump of the match as he goes knee first into the steps and flies over them in a painful looking shot. These two always had mad chemistry together, which is something that could be said about most guys with Rock actually.

Rock does commentary during the match, which always cracked me up. He talks a bit too much though so Foley takes over. Foley does a promo of his own and we cut to a shot of Vince and Shane, but we hear a bell ring. Foley is down and Rock has the bell. Subtle. Rock Bottom through a table and Foley is in trouble. This has all taken less than three minutes so I’m not leaving much out at all.

To play up the spontaneous nature here Rock is in street clothes, as in the kind you would work out in. Corporate Elbow (debuted 5 minutes from my house) hits for two as this is ALL Rock. Foley with a spinning neckbreaker out of nowhere to get both guys down. Bossman throws the belt in and a shot to the head (sounded SICK) gets two as well. Double arm DDT onto the belt and Rock is in big trouble.

There’s Mr. Socko as the crowd has lost it. Mandible Claw goes on but Shamrock pops Foley with a chair. Billy Gunn takes him down and the brawl begins. Everything goes crazy and CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin comes out and everyone loses it. He caves Rock’s head in with a chair and pulls Mick on top for the pin and the world title as the roof is blown off the arena.

Rating: A+. This was about a shocking moment and excitement and a feel good story and they NAILED it. This is very personal bias heavy, but they’re my reviews so who cares?

DX puts Foley on their shoulders as the Corporation carries Rock out. Cole gets in the famous line of “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it!” This is one of the best feel good moment in WWF history as Foley was considered one of the best to never be world champion as he worked as hard as anyone else but was never given a serious shot at it.

He got the shot tonight and he won the title. Road Dogg does the big announcement of Mankind being the new champion to a HUGE ovation. Foley dedicates the win to his kids and takes a lap around the ring with the belt to end the show. This is my favorite moment in wrestling history, bar none.

Overall Rating: B-. I hate to use that grade as the show is far from average given the ending but the rest of the show is pretty bad. The last half hour is great stuff though which pushes the rating higher.

There was a very clear and predictable pattern for everything that wasn’t the main event and it got annoying after awhile. The ending more than makes up for it though as this was just perfect all around. Great moment and 100% worth seeing. If you even remotely like Foley I defy you to not smile a bit while you watch this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWWF Heavyweight Wrestling
Date: January 13, 1966
Location: National Arena, Washington D.C.
Commentator: Ray Morgan

I’ve got another show here from the same era and the main change here is that Bruno is in the house. He’s not in the ring but just seeing him in his early glory years is a very rare thing, when you consider the only match most of you have seen of his is likely the battle royal from Mania 2 or the Showdown at Shea cage match. Anything from this era, even not as a wrestler, could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

After an intro about the card tonight and hearing about the card for Monday’s house show, we’re ready to go.

Steve Stanlee vs. Curtis Iaukea

Stanlee is called Mr. America here. Iaukea is a heel and a big fat islander. He also has someone who might be the top heel manager in Bobby Davis. Curtis starts fast with big clubbing blows to send Stanlee out to the floor. Back in and Iaukea stomps him down again, allowing Davis to choke away a bit. Off to a chinlock followed by a headscissors by the guy that weighs nearly 400lbs. Back to the floor as the squashing continues. We head back in and Iaukea hits a splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a long squash here as Stanlee disappoints America. Iaukea would be a pretty successful monster heel over the years, often getting title shots against Sammartino. You might remember him from 1995 WCW, portraying the Master in the Dungeon of Doom. Why they picked him I’m not sure but whatever. Match was nothing of note.

Hector Serrano vs. Tomas Marin

This is 2/3 falls. Ok Serrano is the shorter one. Got it. I’m pretty sure Marin is the face here but I’m not quite sure. Feeling out process to start with Serrano hitting a forearm when he should be breaking clean. Marin headlocks him down and Hector is ticked off. Serrano shakes his hand and declares himself a gentleman before smacking Marin in the face. Now there’s a good heel.

Marin takes him down by the knee and cranks on it for a bit. Serrano comes back with a kind of monkey flip before being taken right back down again. Hector grabs Serrano’s arm to take over and politely asks the referee to not bother him. Marin fights up and is ready to fight now so Hector hides in the corner. We get a crisscross culminating in a one footed dropkick and a crossbody by Marin for the first fall.

The second fall starts with Serrano taking Marin down with a snapmare and dropping some knees. Apparently Freddie Blassie has sent Bruno Sammartino a telegram saying he’s coming for the title. Sammartino ripped it up and Vince McMahon is trying to set up the match. See how easy it is to set up a match? Tomas puts on a chinlock followed by a rolling body vice. Serrano comes back with a shot to the knee and throws Serrano out to the floor. I guess that’s not a DQ here.

From the apron, Marin shoulders Serrano a few times and his a decent looking slingshot splash for two. Hector chills on the floor for a bit. By a bit, I mean he walks around for like three minutes. He finally gets back in and is immediately knocked right back outside. They do the exact same thing again as the announcer talks about driving safely.

Back in finally and Serrano runs a bit more…..before heading to the floor for the fourth time. Oddly enough when Hector comes back in he GOES OFF on Tomas, hitting a bunch of headlock takeovers. The fourth one or so though is countered into a belly to back suplex to give Marin the pin and the win.

Rating: C-. Decent match here and Serrano did a good job of getting heat from the crowd, but at the same time it was a REALLY long match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. Neither guy was anything special and odds are they were there because they were Puerto Rican. That was a common idea back then: have guys that are there to play to an ethnic group. It worked really well for the Italian people with Sammartino.

Tony Altimore vs. Antonio Pugliese

Bruno is in his cousin Antonio’s corner. This is odd: the announcer talks about Antonio having just arrived from Italy, despite him being in a match last week. Odd indeed. This is one fall to a finish. Antonio controls the arm to start and puts on a full nelson. Altimore keeps countering but Pugliese keeps putting the hold right back on. Back to the arm as the match continues a relatively slow pace.

Off to a chinlock by Antonio as he makes Tony crawl for the ropes. Antonio puts on a bearhug but Altimore is against the ropes. Tony: “WE BREAK CLEAN IN THIS COUNTRY!” Antonio speeds things up and flips over Tony’s back before hitting a pair of dropkicks to send Altmiore to the floor. Back in and Antonio cranks on the arm a bit more before Tony comes back with a forearm in the corner. This fires up Pugliese and he pounds away on Altimore in the corner before hooking a quick side rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with Antonio continuing to look strong soon after debuting. Apparently he would later wrestle under the name of Tony Parisi who is someone I’ve heard of. Anyway, not bad here as the fans were WAY into Antonio because of his relation to Bruno. That’s called giving a rub and you hardly ever see it again.

Post match Tarzan Tyler (future half of the first ever WWF World Tag Team Champions) comes out….and does nothing at all.

Post break Altimore and Tyler say they think Bruno is in trouble against Baron Mikel Scicluna.

Overall Rating: C+. Another pretty fun show here which flew by. It only runs about fifty minutes and we got three pretty long matches out of that. Even though we didn’t see Baron and Bruno interact, they did a decent job of building up the match later in the month. It’s pretty clear how the TV shows were used to set up the major house shows and that system would work for years. Pretty fun stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2012
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for TLC and the main event has been changed to the six man tag instead of the regular TLC match due to Punk’s knee injury. Other than that we’ve got more Cena vs. Ziggler stuff tonight as the focus is going to be on getting ready for Sunday. Hopefully unlike last night’s TNA PPV, we can actually have something happen at TLC. Let’s get to it.

After the usual voiceover, here’s Ziggler on a ladder in the middle of the ring. He says tonight he’s here to talk about the numbers six and fifteen. It’s six days until TLC and fifteen days before Christmas. Cena has already cashed in one case and lost, but he still gets shot after shot after shot. Ziggler is going to cash in and become the best world champion ever.

Cue Sheamus who spends about two minutes talking and says he’ll win and Ziggler will lose on Sunday. Show comes out and says both of them are delusional and that he’ll beat either of them. Sheamus says he can’t attack Show before Sunday, but he can have contact with someone else. He shoves Ziggler off the ladder and out to the floor. Nice guy that Sheamus.

Vince is here.

R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

Kofi and Cesaro are on commentary. Before the bell though, here’s a nearly dancing Vince. Vince hypes up the main event tonight and brings out Vickie to praise her for the main event she made. However, we need a second main event. Vince prods her into making Sheamus vs. Ziggler. That’s STILL not enough though because he wants a third main event. Vickie comes up with AJ in a handicap match but Vince changes it to AJ vs. Vickie. Yep, we have a blowoff match….I hope.

Barrett takes him to the floor to start as there are probably fifteen ladders spread around the arena. Kofi lists off his resume as Barrett stops Truth’s comeback. The pumphandle slam is countered into a rollup for the pin for Truth at 1:50. Yep, I totally buy Barrett as a threat to Kofi now.

Kofi hits a springboard cross body to Barrett post match.

AJ is REALLY excited about the match tonight and tells everyone about it. She goes to find Cena and goes into the locker room. Comedy ensues because she isn’t supposed to see some stuff.

Prime Time Players vs. Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos vs. Epico/Primo

Eliminations rules here and the winners get to face Mysterio and Cara in a tables match on Sunday. The winners of THAT get a title shot. I’ve heard stupider stipulations. Jey and Epico start but it’s quickly off to Jimmy who gets two off a double elbow. Primo comes in for an enziguri (that part clearly missed)/downward spiral combo which thankfully only gets two. Primo dropkicks Jey’s knee out and steps on him a bit but it’s quickly off to Jimmy for a superkick. Jey takes out Epico and the Superfly splash from Jimmy eliminates the cousins.

Titus takes Jey’s head off with a clothesline and we take a break. Apparently the Players got eliminated via a superkick and Superfly Slash to Darren while we were away. So it’s Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos for a shot at Mysterio/Cara. Gee I wonder where this is going. Sandow comes in and is immediately knocked down by Jimmy for two. Back to Jey for a modified Demolition Decapitator, but Sandow gets a boot up in the corner to break up the momentum.

Cody comes in sporting a mustache and we get a CODY’S MUSTACHE chant. Rhodes doesn’t do much and it’s quickly off to Sandow for the Wind-Up Elbow. Cody’s bulldog is countered and the tag brings Jimmy back in. I don’t think Cole knows which Uso is which. There’s the Samoan Drop to Cody followed by the running Umaga attack in the corner. The Usos load up the Superfly again but Cody gets his knees up. Cross Rhodes give the Scholars the match at TLC at 10:56.

Rating: C+. As is the trend on Raw tonight, they’re keeping things fast paced tonight. Nothing tonight has felt long and that’s making things a lot better. Cody’s mustache and the Usos were definite highlights, and I like this idea of getting rid of a team during the break. Seriously, we didn’t need to see the Players get put out and why extend a match even longer than they need to?

Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres

Non-title I believe. Apparently the Muppets are the social media ambassadors tonight. Jerry: “How does Miss Piggy type with those hooves?” Cole: “……that’s a really good question.” It’s your standard gymnastics stuff with Eve being sent to the floor. Claims a knee injury but Alicia doesn’t seem to care. A northern lights’ suplex and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker both get two for Fox, but Eve pulls her off the top and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:30.

Eve calls the ringside photographer into the ring to take pictures of her post match.

Punk and Heyman are here with the champ on crutches.

Here’s Punk on crutches. He says there’s nothing to the theories that he’s faking the injury because he doesn’t want to face Ryback on Sunday. We get a clip of the end of Raw on Monday where the injury apparently was exacerbated. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and Heyman says that’s ticking him off. He talks about how Punk is a legitimate champion who doesn’t have a stunt double like the Rock. Punk isn’t thinking about Ryback anymore, because Ryback isn’t in front of him anymore.

As for those people that think he should be stripped of the title, which must be Ryback fans for the most part, come and try to do it. No one has been able to take the title from him and he lists off all the names that he’s beaten in his reign that he’s beaten. At the Rumble, Rock will be another name on that list. Punk will be at the PPV on Sunday to watch the Shield, who he is NOT affiliated with, beat up HELL NO and Ryback.

We recap the announcement of Vickie vs. AJ, which is literally just the match being announced. Why bother showing this?

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sheamus takes over to start and goes after Ziggler’s leg, which apparently was injured in the ladder fall earlier. The fans get behind Ziggler I think and he rakes the eyes to slow Sheamus down. There’s a dropkick by Dolph but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and sending Sheamus out to the floor. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two for Dolph but Sheamus sends him into the buckle. Sheamus starts his comeback but misses a charge, sending him shoulder first into the post.

Ziggler goes up but jumps into the fallaway slam followed by the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus goes up but gets crotched, allowing Dolph to hit a top rope X Factor for two. The Cloverleaf is escaped but there’s the Irish Curse for two. These near falls are getting really close. Ziggler rolls away from a Brogue Kick and gets a chair, whacking Sheamus for the DQ at 15:12.

Rating: C+. The ending was annoying but it was really the best idea at the end of the day. You don’t want to have one of your main event guys losing on Raw six days before the PPV. Ziggler looked aggressive here which is the right idea for him, but shouldn’t he be using a ladder instead of a chair here?

Shemus kicks the chair into Ziggler’s face post match.

Khali and Horny come in to help Vickie stretch when Vince walks in on a compromising position. Vince: “I thought this was supposed to be a family show.”

We get a video of the Shield’s attack on Kane on Smackdown. This is followed by I think the same holding the camera promo from the Shield from Friday.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder gets a forearm in to start and hooks a very fast chinlock. The fans are way behind Ryder because of the location of the show and the fact that he’s facing one of the least interesting wrestlers in years. He sends Del Rio into the corner but gets kicked in the ribs for his efforts. The kick to the arm keeps Ryder down and we hit a chinlock.

Ryder comes back with a sunset flip but walks into a German suplex for two. After another chinlock, Ryder comes back with a backdrop over the buckle in the corner to send Del Rio outside. There are the double knees in the corner but the Broski Boot misses. Cross Armbreaker ends this at 6:30.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it’s good to see them bring out someone other than the usual guys we see all the time as jobbers. Anyway, Ryder continues to be nothing in WWE anymore but at least he was there for a bit right? Del Rio on the other hand continues to be the least interesting wrestler in YEARS.

AJ vs. Vickie Guerrero

Big reaction for AJ of course. Vickie yells a lot….and we have no referee. The referee is apparently going to be Brad Maddox. Vickie yells a lot more and jumps AJ as AJ is glaring at Maddox. Vickie beats on AJ some more until AJ goes into psycho mode. She kind of spears Vickie down and Vickie runs up the aisle. Back in and Vickie gets beaten on some more and slapped down, but Maddox won’t cover. Vickie rolls up AJ for the pin at 2:12. Yep, again, Vickie gets the last laugh. As always.

AJ goes nuts and turns over some ladders at ringside before slapping the ring announcer.

Post break AJ is still going nuts when Cena comes up to try to calm her down. He hugs AJ and the look on his face is a bit awkward.

Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio does his schtick before the match starts. Cesaro takes over to start and muscles Kofi down into a headlock. Kofi fights up but gets his arm draped over the top rope as Cesaro keeps control. Kingston tries a springboard chop but gets punched in the ribs on the way down. All Antonio so far and the crowd isn’t that interested in what’s going on.

An elbow drop gets two on Kofi but he finally starts his comeback. Antonio rolls away from the Boom Drop so Kofi monkey flips him down instead. Cesaro gets a boot up in the corner and we take a break. Back with Kofi escaping a body vice and getting two off a sunset flip. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro as does a spinebuster. Back to the body vice for a bit but Kofi comes back for a bit.

The SOS is broken up though and a European Uppercut to the back of the head puts Kofi down for two. The SOS connects but Cesaro grabs the bottom rope. In an AWESOME move, Kofi goes up for the cross body but Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The Neutralizer gets the pin at 13:46.

Rating: B-. Another good match between these two and while it’s likely the right move to have Kofi lose here to keep him even with Barrett tonight, it would have been better to have Wade come out to cause the loss given the attack earlier. Cesaro is being pushed STRONG lately as even Sheamus didn’t get a clean win over him. Hopefully they don’t screw him up as is usually the case with hot new guys.

The Rhodes Scholars are the guests on MizTV. Rhodes is reintroduced to the crowd after being gone for a few weeks. He makes fun of Miz for not meaning anything in years before Miz makes fun of Cody’s mustache. Gay jokes are made and Sandow suggests that Miz has lost touch with reality. Miz says that the Scholars are going to hit the mat harder than Pacquiao did in the sixth round. I believe it was the fifth but whatever. Sandow: “You’re not a very good host are you?”

Miz asks Cody how it felt when Sandow didn’t come visit him in the hospital. How does it feel when Sandow says Cody is the Jannetty to his Shawn Michaels? Cody is getting ticked off now. Miz goes on a mini-rant against Cody but Rhodes cuts him off. He says he’s heard all of this before and says that he’s not going to listen to this nonsense anymore and the interview is over. Miz renames the Scholars the Pink and the Stink. What in the world was the point of this segment?

AJ wants to join Cena at ringside tonight. He doesn’t think so because he’d be worried about her getting hurt. AJ finally says ok she’ll stay in the back.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Ziggler is on commentary of course. Show headbutts Cena down to start and then does it again. A splash in the corner puts Cena down in the corner but Show yells at the crowd instead of following up. Cena tries the tried and true method of jumping on Show’s back to choke him out. That only gets a one count so Cena tries the AA. Since it’s the first time, Cena collapses under the weight.

We take a break and come back with Cena countering a chokeslam into a DDT. Show comes back with a side slam for two as Ziggler says Cena is actually impressing him here. Cena fires away with some punches but Show spears him down for two. A BIG elbow drop gets the same for Show and we hit the bearhug. Cena fights out but the STF is easily shrugged off.

They head to the floor for a bit with Show sending Cena into the barricade. Show palms Cena’s head to pull him back up to the apron. That’s SCARY strength. The Vader Bomb actually hits for two and Show does his usual blank stare. An attempt at a second one misses so Cena hits the ProtoBomb and Shuffle but Show no sells them both. The chokeslam gets two so Cena hits the AA. And here’s the Shield for the DQ at 13:52.

Rating: C. It’s Cena vs. Show so you know what you’re going to get here. Also given the absence of the six guys in the TLC match on Sunday, you knew there were going to be shenanigans going on here. Not a terrible match or anything and the AA is always a cool thing to see on Big Show. This was what you would have expected.

The Shield destroys Cena until HELL NO runs in for the save. Show and Ziggler get involved so here’s Sheamus to take out Ziggler. Cena spears Show through a table the Shield set up but the numbers are still in the Shield’s favor. Cue Ryback who throws a ladder into the ring to take out all three Shield members. A HUGE brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked better because they kept the show moving at a much faster pace. Nothing here dragged on too long and the show was MUCH easier to get through as a result. They hyped up the major matches for Sunday other than the six man which didn’t get much time at all until the end of the show. Still though, fun show here and if they can keep up this pace (which I highly doubt), the show would be WAY easier to get through.

Results

R-Truth b. Wade Barrett – Rollup

Rhodes Scholars b. Prime Time Players, Primo/Epico and Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Eve Torres b. Alicia Fox – Spinning Neckbreaker

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used a chair

Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker

Vickie Guerrero b. AJ – Rollup

Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Final Resolution 2012
Date: December 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

This is one of those shows that is happening because it’s a Sunday in a month and therefore we need to have a PPV. The card was nearly half put together on Thursday, so how much effort do you think the company is actually putting into this show? The main event is Hardy defending against Roode, who likely has about as much of a chance as I do. The card should be decent though. Let’s get to it.

Usual highlight package opens the show.

Here’s James Storm who isn’t scheduled on the show, because he means nothing in this company anymore. He talks about not being scheduled here tonight but he’s here to make sure Roode doesn’t try to steal the title like he tried to do on Thursday. Storm calls out Roode….and gets Kaz instead. Kaz says that he’s been here for years and is tired of hearing a drunk like Storm whine. This goes on for awhile, gay jokes are made, and there’s the challenge for the obvious match. You wouldn’t think we were ten minutes into the show yet would you?

Kazarian vs. James Storm

We get a referee and it’s time to go. Storm pounds away on him to start as he is known to do. Kaz comes back with a shot to the head and a head vice of all things. Storm gets thrown to the floor as Kaz pounds away even more. Back in and Kaz hits his spinning springboard legdrop for two followed by a cravate.

Storm fights back and hits a forearm for two before walking into a slingshot DDT for two. Kaz comes out of the corner and gets caught in an Alabama Slam followed by a Codebreaker. The Last Call is loaded up but Kaz hides behind the referee. Fade to Black (Kaz’s piledriver) is escaped and the Last Call ends this at 6:08.

Rating: D+. The match was short and nothing more than an Impact match. Storm has fallen through the floor in the last eight months, which says a lot when you consider how big a match he had at BFG. Also for those of you counting, half of this card has now been made in the last 72 hours. Again, they clearly don’t care about this show at all.

We recap Hardy’s attack on Impact and see Roode and Hardy arriving earlier.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kenny King

Van Dam is defending after King won a title shot on Impact in a three way. The champ puts on a headlock to start and they flip around a bit. The announcers talk about Van Dam’s title history and both guys kick each other. King kicks him to the floor but Van Dam comes back in and kicks King’s legs out a few times. Van Dam goes up top and gets shoved into the barricade, injuring his ribs. That’s a common theme in Van Dam matches over the years. Back in and King hooks an abdominal stretch which Van Dam breaks via yet another kick.

They kick it out even more and my goodness I don’t care about this match or this show. Rob gets crotched on the top rope and a backbreaker puts Van Dam down. Two knees to King’s face take him down, as does a clothesline. The Monkey Flip sets up Rolling Thunder which sets up the top rope kick which sets up the Five Star….which misses. King’s Royal Flush is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t terrible but man alive these matches being added together out of nowhere are REALLY hard to care about. The X-Division means nothing at all anymore as Van Dam’s matches are just thrown onto the card to fill in spots anymore. King appears to have screwed up his career by jumping, because he means nothing in TNA either.

We’re thirty minutes into the show so far and I don’t remember being less interested in a PPV in years.

Daniels talks about his history with AJ, which goes on for a few minutes because these two are welded at the hip.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrer/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan

Chavo and Hernandez are defending. This is another of those title matches that means absolutely nothing. Morgan has Hogan’s cape still, but I’m not even sure they’re actually feuding anymore. They haven’t talked in weeks. Anyway Chavo and Ryan start things off and it’s what you would expect: Chavo wrestles, Ryan runs a lot, Chavo takes over. Hernandez comes in with a bearhug on Ryan before throwing him over in a belly to belly.

Back to Chavo to face Morgan and the champion is thrown around. Off to Hernandez for the big power showdown. Matt shoves him around a lot and the discus lariat puts Hernandez down. Back to Ryan who is immediately caught in a delayed vertical suplex for two. Hernandez beats up Joey for a bit until it’s back to Chavo, who is dropped on the buckle by the illegal Morgan. Morgan is now legal and drops Chavo with a backbreaker followed by a neck crank from Ryan.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton for awhile until sending Ryan face first into the buckle. Hot tag brings in Hernandez who is suplexed down by Morgan for two. A backbreaker puts Ryan down and a missile dropkick/clothesline combination puts Morgan on the floor. Ryan gets speared down and the Frog Splash hits…..but Morgan pulls the referee out for the DQ at 10:27. Freaking LAME!

Rating: D. The ending drops this down from getting the benefit of the doubt. I mean good grief why is Matt Morgan being used in something like this? Ryan has been WORTHLESS since he showed up and the tag champions are almost at WWE levels of importance with their belts. That says quite a bit and this show is terrible so far.

Austin Aries says he’s going to stir things up around here even more and he imitates Hogan to further a feud…I guess.

We recap Aries vs. Ray which is all about Hogan, of course. Ray seems to be involved with Brooke Hogan and Hulk isn’t happy. Aries pushed buttons and we get a match as a result.

Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries

Aries hides a lot to start and then slaps Ray in the face. He earns a gutwrench suplex for his efforts, followed by a big backdrop. Ray grabs him by the throat but gets caught in the face by an elbow. Austin pounds away even more, hitting a forearm to the head and a slingshot hilo to the back of Ray. Aries does more of the Hogan imitation, complete with the big boot and legdrop for two.

Ray comes back with hard chops to the chest and a splash for two. Aries charges into some Snake Eyes in the corner, but he manages to break up the backsplash. Ray punches him down AND HITS A MIDDLE ROPE DROPKICK to kill Aries dead. Naturally there’s no cover and Ray charges into a low bridge to send him out to the floor. The suicide dive is countered by a big boot to the face for two for Ray. Aries comes back with a crucifix into a mat slam followed by the running dropkick in the corner.

Aries loads up the Brainbuster but Ray throws him into the air for a one man 3D. However since this is TNA, it only gets two. Ray goes for a table and gets kicked in the face for his efforts, busting him open a bit. Aries pounds away at the cut….and here’s Brooke Hogan of course. She checks on the cut and is dragged into the ring, but the distraction of Aries lets Ray throw him to the floor. Now here’s Hulk to glare some, but Ray tells him to get Brooke out of here. The Hogans leave and Aries hits Ray low and gets the pin off a rollup at 12:56.

Rating: B-. The match was good, but since it’s involved with the Hogans we need it to be overbooked right? Does anyone have any idea why Aries is even going after Hulk in the first place? He’s already said it was to get his world title back, so is he just trying to be a troll at this point? Anyway the match was solid stuff as Ray continues to be awesome and continues to lose as a reward.

We recap the Knockouts Title match by talking about Velvet Sky. You know, the chick that isn’t in the title match. Mickie won some battle royal to get the shot at Tara here.

Tara and Jesse don’t have much to say.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

Roode says he’ll do whatever it takes to get the title back and that money talks. Usually solid stuff here.

We recap Aces and 8’s being all evil and breaking bones with the hammer. This is another thrown together match from Impact.

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s D-Von/Doc/two masked dudes. One masked guy is big and the other is small so we’ll call the big one Porkchop and the small one Roger for simplicity’s sake. Joe wants D-Von immediately but the bikers run away. Instead it’s D-Von vs. Kurt to start and guess who controls that one. D-Von gets beaten up but runs away when Joe comes in. Instead it’s Joe pounding on Doc in the corner and hitting the enziguri for no cover.

Garrett comes in and is immediately pounded down like he should be. Off to Porkchop who gets to sell Garrett’s horrible offense. Wes comes in and the small guys hit Poetry in Motion on Porkchop. Off to Roger who gets his arm worked over by various TNA guys. The bikers triple team Joe, pulling him to the floor and sending him into the barricade ribs first. Now D-Von will actually get in the match for some basic punches before it’s back to Doc for a suplex.

We hit the chinlock for awhile until it’s back to D-Von for more punches. Here’s Porkchop again to stay on Joe in the corner. Joe Rock Bottoms both masked guys out of the corner and there’s the hot tag to Angle. Kurt cleans house and hits the release belly to belly on Roger as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and Doc chokeslams Angle. Various people hit various big moves on each other, including Joe hitting the suicide elbow on D-Von. There’s the ankle lock to Roger but Doc gets the hammer. Garrett takes it from him and Wes spears Porkchop to the floor. Angle Slam pins Roger at 11:12.

Rating: D+. Here’s the thing: did Kurt actually need partners here? Would anyone have really been surprised if he could beat all four Aces and 8’s at the same time? That’s the problem with Aces and 8’s: they have D-Von and Luke Gallows as their names right now. Why should I buy them as a threat? Nothing to see here, just like always with these guys anymore.

NOTHING POST MATCH??? SERIOUSLY??? Yep, that’s what kind of show we’ve got here.

AJ says that a win over Daniels would make up for his bad year.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles. The line of “this has been going on since 2003, 2004 or 2005” sums up the entire feud: they’ve been feuding so long that no one knows when it started.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

This is billed as the last time so there MUST be a winner. Feeling out process and they fight over arm control to the mat. The feeling out continues for like four minutes as there’s NOTHING interesting going on here. AJ clotheslines him down to finally pick up the pace a bit and there’s the perfect dropkick. The bridging Indian Deathlock from AJ keeps Daniels in trouble as this is going nowhere so far.

Styles hits a snap suplex on the apron so Daniels comes back with a Rock Bottom onto the opposite apron. Daniels sends him into the steps a few times, including a powerslam/suplex hybrid down onto the steel. More back work follows as I try desperately to stay awake. Not that the match is bad but this show has been so freaking boring so far that it’s draining me. Daniels hits a moonsault and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap to torture AJ a bit more.

Off to a half nelson which isn’t really staying on the back so the match loses points for bad psychology. AJ fights up and they collide with AJ’s eye being busted open hardway. Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom but the BME misses, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels naturally escapes. A headscissors puts Christopher down but he comes bak with a sitout spinebuster for two.

A flipping slam out of the corner gets two for Daniels and he’s getting ticked off. AJ comes back with the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and both guys are down. They head to the corner for a Daniels superplex for no cover so AJ hits the Pele to put both guys down again. Angel’s Wings is countered into a jackknife cover, but AJ backflips out of the cover into the Styles Clash for two. AJ loads up the Clash off the middle rope but Daniels counters into a rana. Now Daniels hits the Clash for the pin at 21:07.

Rating: B. Yeah it was good but so what? Daniels hasn’t won jack here, as AJ has beaten him how many times over the years? That’s the problem with this story: just winning the last match doesn’t always mean you win the war/feud. Daniels winning is the right idea from a storytelling standpoint, but this means nothing, as is the case with everything here. Oh and nice to see all the back work meaning absolutely nothing at all.

We recap Roode vs. Hardy. Hardy is champion, Roode is challenging him. Seriously, that’s it.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy

The crowd FINALLY wakes up for Hardy, possibly because he’s painted like a Christmas tree. Roode immediately goes for the ribs because we haven’t seen that in all of ten minutes. Hardy knocks him to the floor and hits the plancha to take Roode down as the fans stay hot. Back in and Hardy pounds on Roode in the corner as Mike reminds us that Hardy is injured from the Aces and 8’s attack. Tenay: “It’s hard to see his facial expressions because of the face paint.” This would be just as Hardy is wincing very badly. And this guy is the Professor right?

Roode gets in a shot to the midsection and hits a suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the Hennig necksnap for two on Hardy. Back to the chinlock because the crowd must go back to being dormant like they were for two hours plus. When that does no good for Roode, he goes to the middle rope and jumps into Hardy’s feet, because this show hasn’t been bad enough yet so let’s have the DUMBEST SPOT IN WRESTLING.

Hardy hits a quick Russian legsweep for two but a cross body misses and Hardy crashes out to the floor. A whip into the steps gets two for Bobby and it’s back to the freaking chinlock. Jeff starts his real comeback with his usual stuff and gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Roode counters a suplex into a rollup for two but Hardy hits his sitout gordbuster for two of his own. A non-bouncing top rope Vader Bomb gets two for Jeff and both guys are down.

The Twist is countered into the spinebuster for two. See, THAT is a move that makes sense for Roode after the offense he’s used so far. Psychology people! There’s the Twist from Hardy but Roode falls to the floor. A clothesline off the apron puts Roode down so Hardy loads up the Poetry in Motion against the barricade.

As usual it misses, but Hardy hits his hip on the barricade and he lands in the crowd. That gets two back in the ring and Roode loads up a superplex, only to get knocked off for the Swanton. Jeff can’t cover though so Roode spears him down for two. Here are Aces and 8’s but they just stand there. Roode walks into the Twist of Fate for the pin to retain at 23:00.

Rating: B. Really good main event here but the problem at the end of the day is that there was never any chance Roode was going to win the title. I don’t care how many two counts he got, there was no chance he was ever going to get the belt back here. Hardy is going to hold that thing either until his contract runs out or until his prescriptions expire. Good match here but in no way could it save the show.

The bikers destroy Hardy post match but Roode yells at them, saying he paid them already. They beat up Roode as well, because they’re CRYPTIC. Freaking screw off with this nonsense about Aces and 8’s anymore. No one cares and they haven’t for months now.

Overall Rating: D-. You remember those European house shows that were billed as PPVs where nothing ever happened? This was the American version of it, as NOTHING happened here but it was called a PPV level card anyway. Terribly boring and uninteresting show here with some good matches, but the first two hours or show just murdered this show something horrible.

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King – Rollup

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring

Austin Aries b. Bully Ray – Rollup after a low blow

Tara b. Mickie James – Widow’s Peak

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8’s – Angle Slam to Masked Man #2

Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Styles Clash

Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Twist of Fate

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