How in the world do I not have this up yet?

Bash at the Beach 1996
Date: July 7, 1996
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,300
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

So this is it. This is the show where everything changed for WCW. There had been an invasion by Hall and Nash, who up to this point I don’t think had been named, and we had Sting, Luger and Savage joined together to fight them off. There’s also a mystery third man that no one knows yet.

That right there is what causes the whole change in wrestling. It launched WCW into the stratosphere and causes WWF to be about as sick as you can get without dying. The rest of the show is pretty much forgotten and with good reason. Let’s get to it.

If you’re looking for what I think about the beginning of the NWO, scroll down to the end of this and you’ll find it.

This is subtitles The Hostile Takeover. Yep it’s so hostile that they’re being given ring music, a match on the show and the main event spot on the PPV. I wonder if they got catering too.

There are security guards at the table with them. Ok then.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Rey had debuted at the PPV the month before this. This should be awesome as they have all kinds of history together. Tenay replaces Bobby for this one. Rey is YOUNG here, only being 21 at this point. Rey starts off with a half crab. We hear about how popular these two are, talking about how the masks are sold in the streets. I always wanted a Kane mask. Finally they get tired of the leg locks and go all lucha on us.

And then they hit a chinlock. Sure why not. Psychosis hits the guillotine legdrop that would be his finisher later but it’s just two here. You know for a match with these guys, this is pretty freaking boring. Rey finally starts throwing some ranas to make things interesting. West Coast Pop gets two. And let’s talk about the main event. Heenan is here too actually.

We hit the floor and Psychosis hits a perfect senton to the floor on Mysterio. It’s a back splash, not the Hardy move. This referee is really annoying. He has a hitch in his count just like that Armstrong referee that got released a few months ago. So after almost ten minutes they realize they’re Rey Mysterio and Psychosis and just go the heck off with high spots.

Psychosis goes for Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb from the top) but Rey shoves off in mid air and hooks him into a hurricanrana for the pin. That’s still one of my all time favorite endings to a match. Mysterio would win the Cruiserweight Title the next night on Nitro.

Rating: B+. This started VERY slow but once they realized the crowd was only halfway into it, they cranked it WAY up and it turned into nothing but awesome high spots. See, this is a FAR different Rey than you’re used to today. This is when he was the best cruiserweight ever. He was pulling off stuff that is just flat out insane.

Then he destroyed both of his knees and slowed way down to where he was like 3rd best in the world. Either way, he’s amazing at this time and had some of the most jaw dropping spots ever. Also keep in mind: this is the very beginning of this division. Today it’s common to see this all over the place in America, but it had only debuted in mainstream wrestling less than a year ago at this point, so this was mind blowing stuff. Great opener and the crowd is white hot now.

Konnan says he’ll keep the title. When asked what happened to end the match, he says Psychosis had him up for a top rope Splash Mountain but Rey reversed into a top rope Frankensteiner. YOU CAN’T BUY THIS KIND OF ANALYSIS PEOPLE!

Apparently you can and it’s called Mike Tenay. Got it.

John Tenta vs. Big Bubba

This is a Carson City Silver Dollars Match. In other words, there’s a sock full of silver dollars on a pole and either Big Boss Man or Earthquake has to climb it. Keep in mind that Eddie Guerrero vs. Regal and Steiners vs. Harlem Heat for the tag titles took place on the Main Event, which was the TV show that aired before this. Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea? Oh that’s right: they’re Hogan’s buddies.

Bubba shaved half of Tenta’s hair and half of his mustache, making him look even stupider. Is there a point to the bag of silver? Not at all, but why let that stop them? Tenta finally wakes up and tries to take the pole down. Keep in mind that you win by pinfall so the pole isn’t even needed. Then again why would logic make sense here? Earthquake gets tied to the ropes with athletic tape. Only one arm though.

Who in the name of hollandaise sauce thought this was a good idea? Boss Man comes over with some scissors to cut the rest of his hair but Quake uses them to cut the tape. Ok that’s smart at least. We get our first intelligent thing of the night as Bubba tells Jimmy Hart to climb the pole. Tenta gets them and nails Bubba in the jaw with the silver dollars for the pin. THIS GOT NINE MINUTES.

Was this supposed to be a joke that went bad? Again, Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners for the TAG TEAM TITLES didn’t go on PPV, but this did. WOW. Oh and I forgot to mention: THIS IS THE TALLEST POLE EVER. Tenta is 6’7 and wasn’t even half as tall as that thing. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? He pours the silver dollars on Bubba afterwards. So not only did he beat him up, but he pays him for it? Is this some kind of weird fetish?

Rating: S. As in SERIOUSLY? This makes the PPV and gets almost ten minutes? I get that Hogan was running things, but this is ridiculous to put it mildly. The match was boring and the whole cutting the straps on the pole went nowhere. This was just freaking bad all around.

The announcers talk for a bit and Tony has a lei on. The others talk about how important this is and Tony looks like an idiot. Bobby says he’s been asking people not involved in wrestling if they know who the third man is. He’s surprised that they didn’t know. Do I even need to make fun of this?

Team WCW says they’re ready for the Outsiders and don’t care who the third man is. They all have their faces painted like Sting. Oh and Luger is full face now, which at least makes sense for this.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

This is a taped fist match for the stupid ring that DDP won last month that is now worthless since his title shot was revoked. So apparently in this you can tape your fists more than you usually can? I hate WCW. I truly do hate it at times, but at least it improves for a bit after this. The fans chant USA, even though both guys are Americans. That always made my head hurt.

I’d love to see someone that Duggan was fighting get fired up more than he did because of the chants and shout about how they’re MORE American than Duggan. Apparently 10,000 people were turned away. Maybe it would be better if they got an arena that held 10,000 people in the first place. Duggan has his feet taped together around the post. Again, is there some kind of tape fetish in this company? And he just gets out through some unseen method.

Again, Guerrrero vs. Regal and Heat vs. Steiners. Just thought I’d remind you of that. Page uses the ropes to avoid a suplex and Tony gets on him for it. Why? It’s a legal move. Everybody is shocked that Duggan can manage to take control without tape on his fists. Thanks for the vote of confidence in Duggan. After being on the floor for 8 seconds, Duggan slides Page in and walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Duggan throws some tape on his fist and knocks Page out anyway. Another waste of time.

Rating: D-. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? For the life of me I can’t think of one. Either way, the match was terrible and I still fail to see the point in it. Just a waste of five minutes or so.

Giant and Taskmaster say they’re not worried about the Horsemen. Giant is still world champion here.

Lee Marshall talks to Benoit and Anderson who get the aforementioned heels later tonight. Arn of course cuts a decent promo.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a tag team dog collar match with a former ECW team. Pay no attention to the Stevie Richards/Raven vs. Pit Bulls dog collar match less than a year before this in ECW. WCW never stole anything from ECW at all. Not a thing. Have you noticed a significant lack of young talent on this card other than the openers or DDP? Bischoff is missing if that means anything at all. Sags and Rock are attached and Knobs and Grunge are attached.

We almost immediately go split screen which has the ocean behind it and only half of the screen is covered by the split screen due to the MASSIVE BATB logo on the top of the screen. Brilliant. A trash can full of trash is brought in. Sure why not. We go up to the beach set and Johnny Grunge gets knocked down and is in pain. He was beaten by an inflatable pink shark. Somehow this has stopped being absurd. That’s a new one on me.

They fight for about five minutes on the beach. This is entertaining at least. I know I don’t say that often but this is one of those matches that reaches the point of insanity that makes it amusing. The announcers not taking it seriously at all helps a lot too. We get a table brought in. Keep that in mind. Rock gets piledriven on the floor and there’s no cover. Knobs hits a GREAT trash can shot on Grunge.

There goes the first table. We’re back in the ring now with another table. Now this one noticeably looks different than your modern Dudley tables. Sags is on the table and Rock goes up. He gets pulled into a front flip and bounces off the table. Remember that Rock weighs about 300lbs. Sags goes up and drops an elbow onto Rock onto the table. It STILL doesn’t break.

Rock comes unhooked from the chain when he’s whipped into the chain of Knobs and Grunge and it clotheslines him. That’s also enough for the pin. Rock knocks Sags from the apron to FINALLY break the real table. Most tables are precut and weakened to make going through them easier. This one wasn’t apparently.

Rating: C+. Not bad actually. They woke up and realized that there’s no point in trying to have these two teams have a coherent match. This was just pure insane fun and it actually worked pretty well. The shark was funny if nothing else. The commentary helped too as they just had fun with it like they were supposed to. Fun match.

Gene is in front of the Outsiders’ locker room. He doesn’t go try to talk to them or anything, but he’s in front of it. Love that hard hitting reporting!

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

I hate to say it, but that song is catchy. He says everyone is here to see him dance and once he wins the title he’ll dance. The guy had charisma and energy. You can’t take that away from him. And let’s talk about the main event more. Ok to be fair, this was a huge match for a change rather than the usual run of the mill main events so I can’t complain that much.

They talk about how awesome the cruiserweights are even though a lot of the really great ones aren’t there yet. This is all Malenko so far. Malenko’s in ring work is really underrated as far as the flying stuff goes. He actually was ranked as the best in the world in the PWI 500 in 97. I was surprised by that. Maybe six minutes in, Disco hits his first offense which is a punch. And now he just goes off in the longest string of offense he’s ever been on I think.

It lasts all of a minute. Heenan says pincovers. I thought only Taz used that term. Most odd. Disco hits his Stunner which was his finisher but checks his hair first. Dean starts busting out springboards of all things. He really could do just about all of it. Dean just goes off and hooks the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Malenko just going off like that made it work for me.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, but the ending was never really in doubt. Inferno looked pretty decent if nothing else, but it’s not like it meant much as Rey would beat Dean the next night in the opener to win the title. Decent little filler match though.

Kimberly says nothing of note. She’s in a towel though so I can’t complain.

Joe Gomez vs. Steve McMichael

So Gomez is a career jobber and McMichael is in his PPV debut as a Horseman. Any bets on what happens here? Mongo is allegedly one of the meanest people Dusty has seen in the last 10-20 years. Wow. This is another of those matches where you know there’s no drama as to the winner. The crowd is DEAD. McMichael just isn’t that good yet. To be fair he never became any good but at least he has an excuse here.

Apparently this is his third match. That’s saying a lot. Gomez is called a rookie here despite having been wrestling over ten years at this point. This is just going on too long. That’s what this boils down to. This match is just too long. They’re making it look like he can’t finish anyone off. He should win this in like 2 minutes and we’re over five already. It makes him look inept rather than elite.

There’s your boring chant. Gomez starts his comeback and they botch the heck out of a sunset flip. Thankfully they realize that it’s going bad and just end it almost immediately. This would have been a success if they cut about 4 minutes out of it.

Rating: F. This was supposed to be a squash and Mongo was supposed to look dominant. Neither happened as Mongo looked like a BAD rookie that had no idea what he was doing. I get that he needs ring time, but he needs to get it in far shorter spurts. This can be blamed on the booking far more than the people in it though. Again, you cut four minutes out of this and it’s light years better.

Flair cuts a promo and forgets he’s fighting Konnan and says that he’s fighting a man with 1000 holds. Right. Gene gets hit on by Woman again which was something I never got at all.

US Title: Konnan vs. Ric Flair

It’s nice to see a guy like Flair going down to Konnan’s level. This is the kind of stuff you just flat out do not see in modern wrestling. Konnan looks…weird. They shill Nitro tomorrow. Once I get done with the PPVs, I might start doing some Nitros and Raws. Just not sure how many of them. We hear about Flair’s cardio which is in a word, unmatched. The Surfboard never stops looking totally awesome.

Konnan Hulks Up and we go to the floor. Konnan gets a running start off of the apron and takes down Flair and Liz at the same time. That’s just WRONG. With the referee distracted Woman kicks Konnan square in the balls. Even the fans cheer for it, I’m assuming out of sympathy. In case you forgot about it, let’s talk about the main event! Konnan makes ANOTHER comeback and Flair is in something resembling trouble.

This is a very different Konnan here as he looks like a guy that actually could win something. Flair gets put in the figure four which for some reason is surprising despite it happening in about every match he’s ever in. The rolling clothesline hits and you can tell we’re running out of time here.

Konnan hooks an abdominal stretch into a rollup for no count as Liz is with the referee. Lucky bastard. Woman pops Konnan with the shoe to the head and throws his feet on the ropes (completely unneeded but it’s what great heels do) to win his first US Title in over 15 years.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it never got me going on this one. Flair getting the belt gave it some legit credibility that it had been lacking recently after runs from One Man Gang and Sasake so this was a big deal. Konnan never was as important as he was here again though, but this was just an ok match. I don’t think anyone thought Flair would lose though.

Gene goes to the Outsiders locker room and there’s a third voice in there. He’s not sure who it was but he’s heard it before. Even knowing who this is, the drama is there man. They’re building this perfectly and I’m excited about this.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that.

And now the reason why this is the most important show in WCW’s history up to that point: the main event. Since this is legitimately one of the biggest matches ever, I’ll have a special section at the end talking about the NWO at this stage. I’ll save the latter stuff for when it happens, but this will focus on the beginning through about Uncensored 97 where Hogan vs. Sting became the clear end goal. So I’m not skipping this, but I’ll save it for the end so scroll down if that’s what you’re here for.

We recap the invasion and see Hall walking onto Nitro and making history back in May. Those two debuts were some of the biggest shockers I can ever remember. They both blew my mind and even me, perhaps the biggest WWF mark here, forgot Raw existed for a little bit. There’s no commentary of voiceover here.

It’s just clips and occasional audio with them. Not that it really matters but Hall and Nash cost Sting and Luger the tag belts. This whole thing comes down to one question: Who is the Third Man?

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savagevs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the tar out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan can get out twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

OverallRating: B+. Not even considering the main event, this is a very good show all around. There’s one bad match early on, but you completely forget about everything else by the main event. There’s some great stuff on here and you could easily use this show as a definition for how to build drama to the ending. That was all that mattered but it worked like a charm at the end. Great show and well worth watching all the way through.

Despite all that happened to it later on and all the insanity that came from it and how it eventually became an albatross that brought WCW to its knees (and yes, most of the blame can still go on Hogan for reasons I’m sure we’ll get to later), when it began this was one of the best storylines in the history of wrestling (and yes X and others, I know Bischoff stole it from Japan).

Having an invasion could have been the best idea in the world. However, I think it peaked as soon as the Giant and Fake Sting joined. The problem simply was that at that point, it stopped being about an invasion and it was just a big faction in WCW. Hogan had to be there or else it was two guys beating up WCW guys. Hogan was virtually unbeatable in WCW so they needed him on board or everyone would just be waiting on Hogan to come in and save the day for WCW all over again.

The problem became that EVERYTHING became about the NWO. Angles such as Benoit/Sullivan and DDP’s benefactor were just dropped and it was NWO all the way. This is a big part of why the company failed in the long run. People got tired of the NWO and WCW had nothing else to throw out there.

Over in the WWF at their peak you had Austin vs. Vince but you also had the IC Title all over the place, you had the hardcore stuff, you had a (terrible) lightweight division, you had DX vs. the Nation and Rock vs. HHH. The midcard wars were going on and while they were tied to Austin vs. Vince, at the same time they were their own feuds. In short, there were a lot of things going on in the company other than just the main event.

Now, the NWO came out red hot and was the #1, #2 and #3 reason why WWF got its head handed to them and the early days of it were the best. That night where Rey got thrown into the trailer was one of the sickest things I have ever seen in wrestling and I was legit scared of the NWO after that. To say they nailed the start of this was an understatement. The NWO was a brilliant idea and it saved both WCW and Hogan.

The next year and a half were some of the most interesting shows of all time. Note that I said interesting and not good or anything like that. Either way, I’m looking forward to the next bunch of PPVs, but we’re going to reach a point eventually, and it’s not going to go well. Still though, this was GREAT and probably the biggest and best played shock in wrestling history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

The old version has since been replaced by Vickie Guerrero Heat where people boo her simply because that’s what you do when Vickie is on screen.  My question about it, as well as X-Pac Heat:what difference does it make why the people are booing?  Isn’t that the desired goal?  Who cares if it’s X-Pac/Vickie Heat or regular heat?

Monday Nitro #96
Date: July 14, 1997
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the night after Bash at the Beach and not a lot has changed because not a lot was on the line last night. Hogan and Rodman lost as Luger made Hogan tap out for the second time in less than a month. Other than that, Hennig was the mystery partner but he walked out on Page halfway through the match. Road Wild is in a few weeks now and there’s a good deal of stuff to get through before we get to that. Let’s get to it.

Michael Buffer intros us to the show and introduces, for the first time ever, the Nitro Girls. Basically they’re cheerleaders who lasted for YEARS. Kimberly is their leader for an excuse to keep her on television. The girls dance around on chairs for a bit.

The announcers talk about how awesome the end of last night’s show was. For some reason the audio sounds really weird here. We talk about the fake Sting from last night, which Larry points out the flaw that somehow no one got last night: if that’s the real Sting, he’s now taller than Hogan.

Alex Wright vs. Prince Iaukea

They do nothing of note for about a minute and here’s Giant to chokeslam the referee to a BIG pop. The match just stops and Giant chokeslams the Prince and some security.

Giant says he’s had it with the NWO, especially Kevin Nash. He knows it was Nash that attacked him with the bat last night and he wants a piece of him NOW. Instead he gets led off by more security.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

This is a result of Eddie walking out on Chavo last week in a tag match. Chavo hammers him to start and sends Eddie flying to the floor, where the younger one hits a HUGE dive to take both guys out. Back in and Chavo gets crotched followed by a rana from Eddie. He tells Chavo to say hello to grandma and punches Chavo in the face again. Chavo charges into an elbow but comes back with a pair of suplexes for two each. His Frog Splash hits Eddie’s knees though, and it’s an Eddie powerbomb and Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that would have been better with more time. These guys know each other very well and know how to bounce off of each other really well. Chavo would get WAY better and Eddie was always solid, so there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be at least decent.

Post match Eddie hits another splash until Hector comes out for the save.

Here are Page and Kimberly with something to say. Kimberly looks great here in a white bra and shorts. Page says six months ago he had a match in Minneapolis and after the show, he went out for a few beers. He ran into Hennig and they realized they had a lot in common. Page says he would have asked Sting for help last night, but Sting has already helped him too many times. Luger and Giant were busy so they were out. That left Hennig, but apparently Hennig isn’t a standup guy. Page says he’s full of surprises, and if you don’t believe him, ask Savage about La Parka.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit more in smaller outfits.

Harlem Heat promises to beat up the Outsiders.

Vicious and Delicious vs. Steiner Brothers

For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner will be called Scott and Scott Norton will be called Norton. Scott and Buff start things off as we hear about the Steiners facing the Outsiders for the titles at Road Wild. Buff takes Scott down and dances a bit, resulting in Rick smacking him in the back of the head. Scott hiptosses him out of the corner so Buff complains of a tights pull. A dropkick puts Scott on the floor so Scott comes back with a BIG clothesline to take over.

A gorilla press puts Bagwell down as the fans are very into this match so far. Another clothesline sends Buff to the floor and it’s off to an armbar back inside. Here’s Rick to bark a lot as we see Konnan getting out of the NWO limo. There’s your newest member I guess. Nash arrives as well and is limping pretty badly. Back in the arena and everything breaks down with Vincent cheating a bit behind the referee’s back. Norton rams Rick’s head into the mat and it’s back to Buff, who jumps into a belly to belly from Rick. Hot tag brings in Scott who cleans house until Mura and Chono run in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was a fine tag match before the lame NWO ending. The idea is the NWO is trying to wear the Steiners down before they get tot he Outsiders at the PPV which is a good enough idea. That’s the idea with WCW: the build up was fine, but the execution at the end almost never worked.

The Steiners come back and beat up the NWO.

We see a clip from last night where Raven cut one of his usual poetry style promos to Gene. As for tonight, Raven says he’ll do what he has to do and the only announcement is that there is no announcement. Richards mentions that he (as in Richards) has signed with WCW so Raven headbutts him.

Chris Benoit vs. Mike Enos

Last night Benoit FINALLY got rid of Kevin Sullivan so tonight he can go back to beating people up. Benoit stomps away on Enos in the corner but Mike comes back with knees in the corner. We hear about the return of Clash of the Champions, which would be the final edition of the show. Enos hits a fallaway slam off the middle rope and a neckbreaker gets two. A kneeling piledriver gets two more and it’s off to a bearhug. That gets broken up quickly so Enos powerslams him down for two. Not that it matters as Benoit Crossfaces him for the tap out.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than a squash as Enos got in a lot of offense and was in control for most of the time. Then again Benoit was supposed to be banged up because of the match last night and he won anyway so it’s not a big problem or anything like that. Decent little match here.

More dancing as we’re in hour #2, but there’s no pyro for it or anything.

La Parka vs. Super Calo

Kimberly flashes a Diamond Cutter sign at La Parka as he comes in. Savage runs in less than a minute in to beat up La Parka for the DQ.

The real Page of course runs in and beats up Savage. Curt Hennig comes in and knocks out Page with a foreign object. Hennig didn’t look at Savage or anything like that so it looks like he’s in business for himself. Savage hits the elbow on Page.

Hennig says that five years ago, Page used to ask Hennig for his autograph. Page wouldn’t last thirty seconds with him, just like he can’t with his wife. Flair comes out and tries to recruit Hennig again.

Lee Marshall from Jacksonville.

Here’s the NWO with something to say. Before they get out, we’re told that Nitro is on Tuesday next week. Nash is brought out in a wheelchair after having changed into ring gear since he arrived. A lot of the team is here, minus Hogan. Konnan is with them too. Apparently Nash is APALLED at being accused of being Sting last night. He would NEVER attack another combatant from behind. Nash stands up and talks to Konnan, who opens his shirt to reveal the NWO shirt. They very slowly wheel Nash to the ring.

Harlem Heat vs. Syxx/Scott Hall

The announcers and Harlem Heat have called this a street fight all night but it appears to be a normal match. Booker and Syxx start things off as Heenan talks about how everyone needs to buy the PPV replay to see what happened again and be sure of what they saw. This is something that’s missing from wrestling anymore: this mentality of YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS. Anymore it’s more like “here’s what we’ve got, please watch.”

Syxx takes him into the corner but Booker Spinaroonis up and kicks Syxx’s head off. Here’s Hall off a tag to face Stevie. Stevie immediately pounds him down in the corner and Hall is in trouble. Hall comes back with a middle rope bulldog for two but Stevie clotheslines him right back down. A double punch from the Heat gets two on Scott as things slow down. Hall puts an armbar on Booker but Mr. T. kicks him in the face to escape.

Hall gets double teamed a bit and a slam by Ray gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Scott suplexes out of it. Booker comes in with the ax kick for two and they slug it out a bit. Nash stands up before sitting right back down. Booker superkicks Scott down for two and everything breaks down. Nash gets up and blasts Booker, allowing Hall to hit the Outsider’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: C. Another decent match here with an ending that everyone could see coming a mile away. That’s not always a bad thing, and in this case it was the right call because you’re going to get Nash booed if you have him shown to be a liar. The Heat continue to be treated like nothing of note in the huge Steiners vs. Outsiders feud which never really got paid off.

The Girls dance some more.

Great Muta/Masahiro Chono vs. Public Enemy

The NWO team jumps them on the floor and Rock takes the Mafia Kick from Chono. In a visual I could live without, Chono does the Public Enemy dance on the floor. Back in and the Public Enemy pound away in the corners to clear the ring. Things finally get going like a normal tag match with Chono vs. Grunge. Chono chops away in the corner but gets caught in a neckbreaker. Rock comes in with a double ax and here’s Muta.

He barely stays in at all so here’s Chono again to miss the Mafia Kick. Rock “hits” a moonsault press to take him down and it’s off to Muta vs. Grunge. Muta mauls him until Rock kicks Muta in the back to slow things down. Off to Chono vs. Rock again as things break down. A Vincent distraction lets Muta hit the Green Mist, allowing the Mafia Kick to end Grunge.

Rating: D+. It was clear here that Public Enemy was completely overmatched and they had no chance at winning in a straight match. Chono and Muta are both great and they’re two of the three Japanese guys that most American wrestling fans would recognize (Liger would be the third). That helps a lot as most of the time when a foreigner is brought in, it’s “here’s this guy who is awesome and you should just accept him based on how aewsome we say he is.” That doesn’t work at all, which is why Muta was the best choice if the Japanese guys were going to be in the NWO.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett has Debra with him, as apparently she’s jumped from Mongo. Flair beats on Jarrett to start with a ton of chops and punches. Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and backdrops him n the outside to take over. Back in and Flair rolls through a cross body for two but he goes shoulder first into the post. Flair almost immediately goes up and jumps into a dropkick but Jeff doesn’t cover, sending Heenan into a fit.

A superplex puts Flair down but Jarrett won’t cover again. Jeff has two Figure Fours broken and Flair gets two off a small package. Jarrett takes down his straps and Flair pounds away in the corner. During the match, Debra commandeers a camera and cuts a promo about how hard her life is because she lives with McMichael. After almost a minute of this, Mongo comes out to yell at her. Flair gets Jarrett in the Figure Four….and Mongo comes in to stomp on Jarrett for the DQ. You couldn’t wait another minute???

Rating: C-. It’s Jarrett vs. Flair. You know this is going to be at least passable if not pretty good. The ending was annoying but it makes sense as it’s all about emotion for Mongo instead of logic or titles. Decent match here as Jarrett and Flair were their usual smooth selves and could make any move look easy.

The Horsemen beat down Jarrett.

Here’s Luger for the main event interview. Luger talks about how he’s had some bad moments but last night made up for them, as he got to Rack Hogan, Rodman in Savage in less than two minutes. Luger challenges Hogan for the title at Road Wild and says if anyone from the NWO wants to fight before then, bring it on. Here are about eight NWO guys and a fake Sting follows them out. Actually make that the real Sting, who is enough to keep the NWO from running in to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a terrible show here as the majority of the episode dealt with fallout from last night. We’re moving towards Road Wild now which should be a decent card given what they’ve got to build up for the show. Luger is white hot here and would deserve the title shot he got. See how easy it can be to logically book a show? Why can’t WWE get that today?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Watching a Nitro from 1997 and it made me miss something.It’s the night after Bash at the Beach 1997 and Heenan is talking incessantly about how you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO see the encore.  That’s something you NEVER hear anymore about PPVs.  Anymore today it’s basically “here’s what we’ve got, buy it.  Please?”  Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan were masters at sounding like used car salesmen or carnival barkers, where after hearing them talk for 20 minutes you had to buy the PPV, just because you had heard so much about it.

Another thing you hardly ever heard said anymore about WWE PPVs: the date of the show.  Watch an old WWF TV show and you’ll hear the date of their next PPV probably 10 times.  That’s done for a reason: you hear the date so often that you start counting down to it in your head and on the day or before it, you snap and order the show because you NEED to see it.  Now it’s always “in just under two weeks” or whatever they say anymore, which is something easier to forget.

Don’t beg us to buy a PPV.  Sell it to us.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2012
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to TLC now and the main story tonight is an interview with the three NXT guys. I’m curious to see where things are going with them as we haven’t gotten an explanation yet. On top of that we’re likely to get some more matches set for the PPV, including whatever Punk’s title match is going to be. Let’s get to it.

The voiceover gets us going with a recap of AJ/Cena/Vickie/Dolph. You know, because people aren’t going to remember it. Oh and there’s stuff about the NXT guys.

Ryback vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus pounds him down to start but walks into the Thesz Press and head smashes. O’Neal wants time out so Ryback runs him over. Darren Young tries to interfere, allowing Titus to hit the Clash of the Titus for one. Ryback shoves the Players together, hits a spinebuster, the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Total squash here as another pair of guys who are likely going to be champions soon lose because Ryback has to squash someone and there’s NO ONE but these guys he could do it to. The problem with booking like this is why am I supposed to buy the Players as a major threat now if they just got killed like that? Especially if they’re champions, because apparently one guy can beat them up.

Ryback says he’s not leaving until he gets Punk, the three guys, or all four.

Security comes out after a break and Ryback destroys one of them. Vickie comes out and says she has no choice but Ryback cuts her off. He wants Punk at TLC but Vickie says he has to leave. Ryback tells her to shut up because he’s not finished. He wants Punk at TLC in a TLC match or he’ll tear the ring apart. Vickie says ok but get out of the ring. Ryback goes after security but they all leave.

We recap Hornswoggle spraying water on Rosa last week. Earlier today Rosa yells at Horny but he wants to know who would want to kiss her and give her flowers. Alberto comes to her defense but Khali stops Alberto before any damage can be done.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Great Khali

This is joined in progress after a break with Khali chopping Del Rio’s chest. Rosa is watching in the back. Horny is at ringside as Khali chops away some more. Del Rio comes back with a shot to the arm and a superkick before hammering on the arm a bit. Alberto charges into an elbow in the corner and some clotheslines from Khali. There’s the big chop but Ricardo’s distraction stops the Vice. Horny bites Ricardo’s pants and there’s a kick and Codebreaker to the arm. Armbreaker gets the tap at 3:35.

Rating: D+. I’m glad Khali is back given how bad he was doing there for awhile and it’s good to see Del Rio down the card and fighting ANYONE not named Orton for awhile, but this was nothing much. Then again, what do you expect from a guy like Khali? Not much of a match but it did its job well enough I guess.

Punk and Heyman come in to yell at Vickie and accuse her of being biased. She gave him the shot because of the screwjobs Punk has been behind. He denies being behind them but Vickie puts Punk in a match with the winner of the Raw Poll: either Bryan or Kane.

We get a sitdown interview with the three NXT guys from earlier today. Ambrose cuts off cole and wants to know who is asking about them. Ambrose says they’re not working for Punk and Rollins says the question should be why are they doing this. Rollins talks about how everyone has to answer to everyone, but at the end of the day it’s a popularity contest that determines who gets everything in the WWE. He says they’re a shield against wrong.

Ambrose says it was wrong to have Punk face guys he already fought and if Ryback had been champion for a year and Punk tried to interfere, they would have stopped him too. Cole asks if Roman has anything to say. He says if he has something to say, he’ll say it. Ambrose says they’re not the Nexus or the NWO but rather the shield from injustice. Reigns stands up and says this interview is over. They all walk out to end things. Not bad but I’m not wild on the Shield name.

Fandango is coming and we see his face. Egads this is going to SUCK.

Alicia Fox vs. Tamina Snuka

Tamina says this match is a warning to AJ to not mess with Vickie again. Jerry goes onto some small rants about how Shield is crooked. Total squash by Tamina who wins with a Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash in 2:05. Next.

Here’s Cena to address the AJ/Vickie stuff. After probably the tenth recap of the kiss, Cena talks about how he’s had a ton of moments in his ten years here, but he’s never been interrogated more than having people ask if AJ is a good kisses. He’s about to talk about it when Vickie comes out to say I told you so. She pulls out a big box (not that kind of box. It’s a PG show) and has matching bathrobes for Cena and AJ. Vickie goes on a long rant about AJ and here she comes, looking SMOKING hot in a white top and jeans.

AJ says she’s had issues with men over the last year but she’s learning from them. Since she’s not GM anymore, she can date whoever she wants and can do whatever she wants. She goes to kiss John but Vickie freaks out. Vickie is called a dog, and here’s Ziggler to interrupt AGAIN. Dolph asks what’s going on with Cena and why Cena attacked him on Smackdown. Ziggler says he’s figured it out. Last week when AJ kissed Cena, she was thinking about Dolph the whole time. Cena is about to go after Ziggler but Vickie stops him. It’s Cena vs. Ziggler tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai

Non-title, because why make it a title match? Tensai knocks him down into the corner so Kofi speeds things up….and has his head knocked off by a shoulder block. Tensai puts on perhaps the least interested looking armbar of all time before Kingston comes back and hits a chop off the top rope.

A clothesline puts Tensai down (ignore that he was clearly falling before Kofi touched him) and there’s the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise is blocked and Tensai catches the pendulum kick in the corner. An elbow gets two but a Vader Bomb misses. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise from the floor and wins with a top rope cross body at 3:30.

Rating: D. This was really sloppy and should have ended with the first Trouble in Paradise attempt. Tensai clearly just does not care at all anymore and why should he? He’s a pure jobber to the stars and not a very good one at that. This was a dull match that was there so Barrett can look at Kofi some more.

Barrett hands Kofi the title post match.

Bryan shows Kane a voting map which proves how much more popular he is than Kane. Unfortunately they don’t have polling data where Kane comes from so Kane can’t win. Kane offers to send Bryan there to find out but we get the poll results instead. Kane wins 59-41, in a surprising result. Bryan gets Rey Mysterio as a consolation prize.

Daniel Bryan vs. Rey Mysterio

Feeling out process to start with Rey sending Bryan to the floor, only for Daniel to slide back inside and hit a running knee to the face from the apron. Back in and Bryan cranks on the arm in a move that looks SICK. He has an armbar on but bends Rey’s arm back so far that he can stand on it for two. FREAKING OW MAN! Both guys get sent to the floor as the other one slides back in and we take a break.

Back with Rey getting crotched and Bryan firing away kicks to Rey in the Tree of Woe. Bryan puts on a surfboard for a bit before sending Rey into the post on the floor. That gets two so Bryan loads up a superplex. Rey fights out and hits the seated senton as things speed up. Rey escapes a sunset flip and kicks Bryan in the head for two. Bryan gets sent into the corner where Rey hits a 619 around the post and the top rope splash for the pin at 12:43.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it was nice to see a clean pin. I have less of a problem with a tag team champion losing in a singles match, especially when it could set up a title match later on between the two teams. This show has been having bad match after bad match so far so this was a nice change of pace. Decent stuff here, as expected.

Alberto winks at Rosa and walks away with Ricardo. Who is he more interested in anyway?

We recap Raw from last week AGAIN. Dear freaking goodness WE GET IT.

Now we recap the end of Smackdown with Ziggler pinning Orton and getting taken out by Cena to end the show.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage, likely because they’re just feeling each other out. Ziggler takes Cena down and we take a break. Back with Cena on the floor, apparently after having been rammed into the steps. Ziggler throws him back into the ring and does situps while using Cena to hold his feet down. Cena pops up and starts his finishing sequence, but the Shuffle is broken up by a kick to the face. A jumping DDT gets two for Ziggler and it’s sleeper time.

Cena rams Ziggler into the corner to counter and puts on the STF but Ziggler does the crawl to the ropes to escape. Cena staggers around and walks into a BIG dropkick to put both guys down. Ziggler goes up top for a cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA. Dolph kind of botches the counter as he lands on his legs instead of his feet, but he comes back with the Zig Zag for two.

Cena hits the spinning slam and loads up the Shuffle again, but the knee gives out. John rolls to the floor and Ziggler unhooks a buckle pad. This draws out AJ to stop him but Vickie comes out as well and pulls her off the apron (doesn’t that mean she’s fired?). Dolph tries a shot with the case but but Cena ducks and hits the AA for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: B-. Another good match between these two, but it makes me wonder what we’re building to with this story now. It would have seemed to be for this match, so maybe it’s a mixed tag or something? I certainly hope not, because that would be more than a waste of time. The match here was good though, which is always a good thing.

AJ kisses Cena again post match.

Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro

Time for a match to be stretched to about fifteen minutes because we need a match to be stretched to about fifteen minutes. Sheamus pounds away on him in Sheamus-esque fashion before we head to the floor. Cesaro whips him into the steps and we take a break. Back with Cesaro getting two off a clothesline and the same off a gutwrench suplex. Irish Curse gets two for Sheamus but White Noise is countered.

Instead Sheamus gets two off a powerslam, but Antonio comes back with a kind of reverse Angle Slam, where he slammed Sheamus forward instead of backwards. I’ve never seen that before and it gets two. Sheamus kicks him away and pulls himself to the top. The shoulder jumps into the uppercut though, drawing a gasp from the crowd. The Neutralizer is broken up and the Brogue Kick sends Antonio to the floor for the countout at 12:52.

Rating: C+. This got good towards the end and I’m glad Cesaro didn’t get pinned, but it was really hard to believe that he ever had a legit chance at winning. Sheamus continues to look strong before the match at TLC, where he actually could get the title back. Either way, decent stuff here and thankfully they didn’t pin Cesaro.

Show comes out during the referee’s count but it means nothing. He has a chair and Sheamus says he’ll do it right now if Show wants. Show literally rips and breaks the chair apart.

Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder’s trunks and pads have a Ghostbusters theme to them now. Sandow gets flipped down and he hides on the floor, only to come back with strikes to the face for two. Off to a chinlock by Damien followed by a knee drop. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and it’s off to a crossface chickenwing. Ryder makes a comeback with a forearm in the corner but Sandow rolls to the floor before the Broski Boot can hit. Ryder goes up, only to get crotched and caught in the Terminus for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Picture a Sandow vs. Ryder match. This one is the most recent of them. That’s all I’ve got here.

Since we’ve got time to kill, here’s the Shield interview from earlier. As in the whole thing.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Kane slugs him into the corner to start and Punk bails as we take a very early break. Back with Punk working on Kane’s leg. Punk goes to the floor and might hurt his own knee in the process. There’s already a bandage over his knee so maybe there’s something to the knee injury. Anyway the suicide dive takes Kane out but Punk can’t follow up immediately. Back in and Punk hits a running knee in the corner followed by a second one. He loads up a third but Kane comes out with an uppercut to take Punk down.

Side slam gets two for Kane as Punk tries to get his knee to work again. Kane goes up top and hits the clothesline but Punk comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Heyman plays cheerleader a bit but Punk springboards into a chokeslam. Heyman, ever the good manager, pulls Punk’s feet into the ropes so Kane can’t immediately cover. Kane loads up the Tombstone but Punk escapes and hits Kane in the knee. GTS gets the clean pin at 10:20.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m a fan of both guys. Kane is fine for a spot like this because he’s not going to be hurt badly by a single loss. Either way, decent stuff here and it gave Punk something to do tonight that didn’t have anything to do with Ryback. It’s nice to get a week off from the same stuff every week before a PPV for a change.

Post match here’s the Shield to stare at Punk and attack Kane. Bryan comes in for the save and the tag champs get beaten down. The fans finally get what they want as Ryback comes down. Punk dives into the crowd and Ryback runs into the ring to fight the whole Shield. He knocks them all down at once and powerbombs Rollins. Meathooks put down Reigns and Ambrose.

Punk tries to come in for the save but gets put in a powerbomb position as well. Reigns spears him down and the numbers catch up to Ryback. The Triple Powerbomb puts him down again. But Ryback is still incredibly strong right? These constant beatdowns by three minor league guys mean NOTHING right? This doesn’t hurt his push at all, right? Punk stands tall as Lawler claims conspiracy to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show felt especially long tonight because of all the recaps but at least we had some good matches to balance things out. Also none of the matches felt overly long for the same of being overly long, which is definitely a step in the right direction. As usual with the show though, the third hour being there is what brings the show down. Well that and the incessant recaps of the Cena/AJ stuff. This could have been a lot worse though, which is high praise for Raw anymore.

Results

Ryback b. Titus O’Neal – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Great Khali – Cross Armbreaker

Tamina Snuka b. Alicia Fox – Superfly Splash

Rey Mysterio b. Daniel Bryan – Top Rope Splash

John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment

Sheamus b. Antonio Cesaro via countout

Damien Sandow b. Zack Ryder – Terminus

CM Punk b. Kane – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I mean good freaking grief between Raw and Smackdown we’ve seen the AJ/Cena kiss and the brawl in the locker room probably ten times now.  IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY???  We get it: Cena and AJ kissed and Ziggler and Cena had a fight in the bathroom.  We don’t need to see it three times a show!

It’s not that surprising.Punk vs. Ryback in a TLC match, meaning a match where Ryback can get screwed over……again.

Monday Nitro #95
Date: July 7, 1997
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,799
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re finally back to this series with the go home show for Bash at the Beach which is the final show before we get to something a little more interesting than celebrities in the main event. Tonight we have a pretty famous moment which is a cool building block for a feud. I won’t spoil it for those of you unfamiliar with it so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sting cleaning house last week to end the show, as Hennig and Raven came to ringside as well.

Opening sequence.

Gene is here with Hennig to open things up. The fans boo Hennig for some reason. He says he’ll be at Bash at the Beach and will be active in some capacity, but he won’t say if he’s Page’s mystery partner or not. Hennig declares himself a free agent and here’s Flair with some blonde. Flair is all fired up and says Hennig is here to join the Horsemen. Curt says he didn’t say he’s joining, although he seems intrigued by the offer.

Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Booker and Grunge start but all four guys get in the ring for a staring contest before any contact is made. Booker pounds Johnny down in the corner and clotheslines him down for two. It’s off to Rock who has a bit better luck as he pounds away on Booker’s arm. That’s about the extent of his luck though as Ray comes in and pounds away in the corner.

The Heat keep control and a side slam by Booker gets two. An elbow misses Rock and the tag brings in Grunge. Everything breaks down and here’s Vincent of the NWO for no apparent reason. Sherri points him out to Booker which breaks up a Heat double team move. Booker goes after Vincent and Sherri accidentally pushes Rock into Stevie, giving Grunge a pin. It was about as messy as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was four minutes of punching and kicking before we got to the ending where things got more complicated than they needed to. Apparently Vincent had interfered in a Harlem Heat match on Saturday Night as well, so there’s some kind of a story there which is better than some random attack I guess. The match sucked though.

Post match Harlem Heat yells at Sherri. Gene accidentally calls Vincent Virgil here. Booker says Sherri needs to get her act together or she’s gone. Sherri quits instead.

Joe Gomez vs. Konnan

Raven is in the front row again. Konnan hammers away to start but Gomez comes back with his usual jobber offense. Tenay talks about Raven being ECW Champion without saying ECW. Konnan cranks away on the head and arm for awhile and hits the rolling clothesline for two. The Tequila Sunrise (kneeling arm trap half crab) ends Gomez pretty quickly.

Rating: D. Just a squash here and Gomez continues to be one of those guys that is always around but never really did anything. Konnan would be continuing his heel turn (I think?) in the next few months before finally joining the NWO just like almost every other heel on the roster would do.

Hector Garza/Juventud Guerrera vs. Villano IV/Villano V

Garza and I think #4 start things off here with Garza flying all over the place. The Villanos are a bit bigger so they’re better as targets than guys flying through the air. Off to Juvy who speeds things up even more and hits a rana to send IV into the corner for the tag to V. Garza comes back in and gets caught in something like a Demolition Decapitation from the Villanos.

V drops a leg and it’s back to IV for a clothesline. A powerslam gets two for IV but a double elbow misses. The non-brothers double team a bit and everything breaks down. We get a move we would call Poetry in Motion to both Villanos but IV catches Juvy in mid aid and slams him down for two.

Garza launches Juvy into a double dropkick and a sunset flip gets one for Guerrera. A double gutbuster slows Juvy down but Garza hits a backbreaker and moonsault for two. This is very fast paced stuff. Heel miscommunication sends the Villanos to the floor and there’s the Corkscrew Plancha from Garza to take out IV. Juvy Driver and 450 get the pin on V back in the ring.

Rating: C+. Take four luchadores, give them five minutes, cover your ears so the fans don’t hurt your ears with the cheering. This is one of those ideas that just works and didn’t need a lot of work. These guys were all very talented and could impress the crowd by going out there and doing what they had been doing in Mexico for years. Standard lucha tag match here and it was fun stuff.

Liz, Macho and Hall invade the announce desk but Larry Z won’t leave. They say they’re going to take Page and whoever the mystery partner is very lightly because they’re just too good. Just a quick promo to hype the tag match Sunday here. Hall throws his shirt at Larry and Zbyszko wants to fight. Nothing comes of it of course.

We get a video on Giant and Luger teaming up on Sunday. They’re not sure if they can trust each other but they’re going to.

Vicious and Delicious vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

It’s Bagwell and Norton as the as the NWO B tag team. Before the match, a limo is seen arriving in the back. We take a break and come back to see Chavo vs. Buff starting things off. Buff is looking pretty roided up here and pounds away to start. Apparently Syxx and Nash aren’t here, which Tony thinks is some kind of genius master plan. Yes, the master plan is to have LESS forces here while they’re in a war. Keep that up Tony. We need thinking like that.

Off to Norton and Eddie makes a blind tag to missile dropkick him. Scott will have none of this falling down thing and suplexes both Guerreros down. Eddie doesn’t seem to want to stay in despite being tagged so Bagwell slaps him into reality. Things speed up and Bagwell gets dropkicked down, only to come back with a hotshot to put Eddie down. Back to Norton who throws Eddie around by the throat. Larry: “He picked him up like a baby.” What kind of person picks up babies by the throat and throws them into a corner? Instead of commentating Larry needs to be filling out police reports for child abuse.

Eddie does that fast crawl on his knees across the ring to tag in Chavo so he can get beaten up for awhile. Bagwell jumps into a boot and Eddie doesn’t seem interested in tagging back in. Now he walks away as Norton suplexes Chavo down for two. A quick rollup gets two on Bagwell but he walks into a wicked powerslam from Norton. Eddie yells at Chavo to get up from the stage as Norton picks Chavo up from a cover. Norton powerbombs Chavo down and holds him up for a Blockbuster which gets the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a more entertaining match which was helped because I like the Blockbuster a lot. Other than that, this was more about an angle instead of the match, which was really just a long squash. Vicious and Delicious never went anywhere but they were fine for matches like this one. More weak stuff on the show so far.

Hour #2 starts but Larry wants to watch the next match instead of letting Heenan sit down. Scratch that as we’re going to have a four man booth for awhile.

La Parka vs. Randy Savage

We get a video of La Parka’s chair usage of the last month. They trade armdrags to start and Heenan’s headset doesn’t work. A small package gets two for La Parka so Savage clotheslines him down. He walks to the announcers desk as Savage slams La Parka and loads up the elbow. La Parka gets his feet up, hits a Diamond Cutter on Savage and pins him. The mask comes off and it’s Diamond Dallas Page, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: C. The match sucked, but this is one of those moments that people always remember from Nitro. Page vs. Savage was one of those feuds where they kept them apart long enough between the matches that you wanted to see them fight when you got the chance. This is called building a feud and unfortunately it’s a lost art today.

Ernest Miller/Glacier vs. Silver King/Psychosis

Well it’s not Wrath and Mortis at least. The bell rings and Glacier causes some lucha-miscommunication, but we cut to the back to see the Guerreros in a fight. Glacier and Psychosis are starting things off but before anything happens it’s off to Miller for, wait for it, wait for it…..KICKING! King launches Psychosis at Miller but Psychosis’ kick only grazes him. Everything breaks down and we get a lot of kicking. There’s a leg lock to Psychosis by Miller but Silver King breaks it up. Psychosis kicks Miller down but a second one is countered into a powerbomb….and here are Mortis and Wrath for the fast DQ.

All three teams brawl for awhile.

Lee Marshall does his thing. In case you’re not familiar with him after I reference him week after week, congratulations: you’re now almost exactly like most old school wrestling fans. Marshall was a really bad commentator on the D level TV shows and that’s about it.

Here’s Flair with that blonde again. Flair brings out Piper, his opponent on Sunday. Actually, it’s just a mannequin. Oh I don’t see this ending well. Flair says Piper isn’t the icon and the blonde (with the thickest country accent I’ve heard in years) asks why he’s called Hot Rod. The real Piper comes up behind Flair as Flair goes on a big rant about Piper.

They head to the ring and Flair gets his clothes ripped off, revealing green boxers. The Horsemen come out for the save but Piper beats them all up. The Horsemen finally get him down and Benoit hits the longest Swan Dive I’ve ever seen. Someone comes in for a save as we go to a break. Even the announcers couldn’t tell who he was.

Post break, of course we don’t mention who the other guy was.

Raven still has nothing to say but Stevie Richards comes in to speak for Bird Boy. He calls himself Dancing Stevie Richards and tells Tenay to go “ask one of the Mexicans what their favorite movie is.” Richards asks Raven some questions but again gets no answers. Tenay gets shoved away.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Steiners

Apparently it was Jeff Jarrett in the ring. Good enough I guess. Steve and Scott start things off with Steiner immediately taking it to the mat. Mongo comes back with a powerslam but walks into a spinning belly to belly for two. Off to Rick vs. Benoit with Benoit going off on Steiner in the corner. Rick comes back with a release overhead belly to belly for two and grabs him on the mat.

Mongo comes in again and punches Rick a bit as the match slows down. Rick shoves him into the corner so Scott can beat on McMichael on the floor a bit. Savage is in the back beating up Nick Patrick and hurting his shoulder. What would a main event be without a cutaway to something in the back? Scott gorilla presses Benoit and puts him in an STF. Rick gets the tag and puts Benoit in an STF of his own.

Benoit comes back with a dragon screw legwhip and it’s off to McMichael. Scott comes in and belly to belly superplexes Mongo down for two. Rick gets the hot (?) tag to clean house and everything breaks down. Jeff Jarrett runs out and beats up Mongo as Sullivan comes out with a chair to crack over Benoit’s head. Rick sees what happened and steals the pin anyway.

Rating: C-. This was more along the lines of a way to build up Mongo and Benoit’s singles matches on Sunday. The match was kind of a mess but it was a very physical mess which made things more interesting. When the Steiners started throwing people around it was always entertaining, as was Benoit suplexing everyone all over the place. Not a terrible match but it was messy.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to close the show. Bischoff talks about seeing Luger on Regis and Kathy Lee this morning and how after Sunday, no one is going to want to see him again. This is a really basic interview until Luger and Giant chase them off to end the show. The NWO comes in and Luger puts Bischoff in the Rack with Giant running interference.

Overall Rating: D. Over than the Savage and Page stuff, this was a pretty dull show. The matches weren’t any good and while the PPV was built up, it’s still nothing that I have any interest in watching. Thankfully after this we would move towards matches that were for more than bragging rights and honor. This show on its own doesn’t do anything that well though, other than the Page stuff which is really memorable.

Here’s Bash at the Beach if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/22/bash-at-the-beach-1997-nba-players-and-armdrags/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is one of those things I put in a Smackdown review recently and it bares repeating.A few weeks ago, Big Show fought William Regal on Smackdown.  It lasted like two minutes and was a Big Show squash, making it pretty uninteresting.  My idea: make it a title match.  Regal never stood a chance, but if you make it a title match there’s a tiny chance that we could see a title change, and that makes the match more interesting.  It doesn’t hurt Show and it makes Regal look like a bigger deal, so why not do it?

Sometimes it’s so simple that it eludes people.Throughout the history of wrestling, we’ve had people like Harley Race, Flair and Hogan who have ridiculous amounts of world title reigns (8, 16 and 12 respectively).  In the regional area, you have guys like Nick Dinsmore with 10 OVW Titles, Bulldog Bob Brown with 18 Central States Titles, and Jerry Lawler with an insane 80 (yes EIGHTY) Memphis Heavyweight Titles. Today, you have guys like Cena with 12, Orton with 9 and HHH with 13.

What’s one of the main difference?  Today you have these http://onhealthy.net/product-category/gastrointestinal-tract/ numbers pounded into your head.  Watch old Memphis stuff and you NEVER hear the amount of title reigns Lawler has and the same is true of Dinsmore in OVW.  Today though, you hear about how Cena is a 12 time world champion every time he’s on screen.  When you hear that number so many times, it takes away the appeal of the next title change.  I know you can realize that someone has won that many titles before, but not hearing it over and over again could help a lot.