Someone asked me this and I wrote it out in a comment, but I thought others that don’t read the comments might like this too.

Assuming I’m stuck with the three hours, the most important thing I’d do is cut out the freaking recaps. SO much time is wasted on the recaps and there’s no point in just talking about stuff we just saw. On top of that, drop the GM/boss stuff. There is zero need to have it on Raw or Smackdown and you can just say someone made the match and go from there. On top of that, mix things up. As in don’t use the same plot devices (champion loses to a challenger then has a rematch on PPV for the title, guy’s music comes on to distract someone and the opponent gets a rollup pin, evil GM etc) over and over again. There are unlimited story possibilities but they use like five. Also, perhaps most importantly, develop the characters more. Look at what happened with HELL NO: they were shown out of the arena and got to show what they’re like outside and the characters EXPLODED. Show Alberto blowing money or being cheap or something like that. Let them be creative.

To sum it up: mix things up a bit. That’s how you fix things. Let people have some creativity instead of doing the same stuff over and over again.

Oh and one more thing: better storytelling. Look at Orton vs. Del Rio. Orton has beaten him time and time again and the feud just keeps going with Del Rio ignoring every single loss and acting like it doesn’t happen. If he doesn’t care and nothing changes, why should I care as a fan?

I’m starting them today and they’ll be going up once a day starting January 2, the day after the debut of On This Day.  Also to clear something up, On This Day won’t be all new reviews.  I don’t think that many new shows exist.  Sorry if there’s any confusion.

KB

TNA Weekly PPV #11
Date: August 28, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

After last week’s show focusing mostly on Styles vs. Lynn, here’s another show with a lot of time spent on Styles vs. Lynn. In this case there’s also Low Ki involved in a triple threat ladder match with them for the X title though so at least they’re mixing it up a bit. Other than that we get the continuing adventures of Jarrett vs. the Armstrongs because TNA thinks that’s interesting for some idiotic reason. Let’s get to it.

Brian Lawler is in the parking lot about to reveal why he hates Jarrett when Jeff jumps him from behind. A big brawl ensues until referees break it up.

Amazing Red vs. Kid Kash

This is back when Kash could still be called Kid and it didn’t sound stupid. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage going. Kash shoves him and gets slapped in the face as a result. Red takes him to the mat via a drop toehold and things speed up. They go into a sequence that belongs in a gymnastics class rather than a wrestling ring, finally coming back to wrestling with some armdrags.

Kash flips Red off so Red pounds and kicks away at him before sending Kash to the floor. There’s a BIG flip dive to take Kid out and they brawl a bit. Kash sends him into the barricade to take over and we head back inside where a flying clothesline takes Red down for two. Red gets put in something like a Liontamer which doesn’t go anywhere, so they head to the corner where Kash eats a boot. Well not literally but you get the idea.

Red goes up for I think a rana but has to come down because Kash is WAY out of position. A standing rana and a spinwheel kick get two instead and Kash is placed on the top rope. This goes badly for the placer (Red) as Kash comes back with a clothesline off the middle rope for two. A powerbomb attempt by Kash is countered into a sunset bomb and Red kicks him down again for two.

Red gets slammed off the top for two for Kash, followed by Red firing off kicks to the chest in the corner. A charge misses and Red crotches himself, allowing Kash to hit a slingshot legdrop for two more. Kash cross bodies him for two before running into an elbow to slow him down. Red goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes (not a DQ for some reason) and hits a kind of MuscleBuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m really not a fan of spotfests and I’m REALLY not a fan of matches where guys don’t sell almost anything. On top of that, they were missing a lot of spots in this or badly mistiming them. The crowd reacted to most of it, but the match just wasn’t that good and certainly wasn’t anything memorable. That’s most cruiserweight style matches though.

Sonny Siaki praises himself a lot.

Monty Brown vs. Sonny Siaki

Brown says he’ll take out Jarrett, despite Jarrett not doing anything to him that I can remember. Brown chops Siaki down and stomps on him a bit, as that is about the extent of his offensive abilities so far. We head to the floor but Brown misses a charge and goes face first into the barricade. Again the idea of selling doesn’t seem to exist as Brown shrugs it off and beats on Siaki some more as we head back inside.

A sideslam puts Siaki down for two and Brown keeps up the stomping. He really doesn’t wrestle like most faces do and it’s not exactly working for him here. Monty hits a splash in the corner and a pair of suplexes (butterfly and regular) get two each. More chops and punches follow before it’s off to a chinlock. It’s strange seeing a face in control for this long. After the hold is broken, Brown ducks his head like a schmuck and gets DDT’d for his efforts.

Siaki pops up and clotheslines Monty down again but Brown is like “screw this selling nonsense” and hits a fisherman’s suplex to put both guys right back down. Brown hits another butterfly suplex as it’s clear he’s running out of moves. Brown loads up the Alphabomb but here’s Jarrett for a distraction. Siaki hits Brown low and rolls him up for the cheap win.

Rating: D. Monty Brown is not very good and that’s all there is to it. At this point he’s incredibly green and can’t work a five minute match, let alone a ten minute one where he’s on offense for the majority of the time. Siaki was the heel and got beaten down for almost the entire time, which is a very strange dynamic for a match. This didn’t work at all for the most part.

Armstrong and the Bullet pop up as Brown and Lawler beat up Jarrett. What’s Brown’s issue with Jarrett again? Oh yeah no one knows. That’s right.

Slash is in the back and introduces his brother Kobain, who is OVW legend Flash. Nothing of note here.

Backseat Boyz vs. Slash/Kobain vs. Hotshots vs. James Storm/Chris Harris

Elimination rules to fill more time and the winners get to be the final team in a gauntlet match for the titles next week. The Hotshots are Cassidy O’Reilly and Chase Stevens and the Boyz are Johnny Kashmere and Trent Acid. O’Reilly chops Kashmere a bit to start but walks into a spinebuster. Cassidy slaps Johnny a bit and it’s off to Acid to face his partner. We get a kind of recital as they know each other so well, culminating in a high five and hug. Well that makes sense I guess.

Slash gets dropkicked off the apron by the Boyz as everything breaks down. Acid “hits” a Mafia Kick on Cassidy which the camera shows missing by a good bit. Eh it’s basically indy level stuff here anyway so it’s not surprising. The Boyz beat up Stevens for a bit before we get a BIG double moonsault from Acid and O’Reilly to take out everyone else. Kashmere and Stevens hit dives of their own until it settles down for Stevens vs. Acid who are somehow legal. In the melee, Stevens tags in Slash and a neckbreaker takes out Acid, eliminating the Boys.

It’s Slash vs. Stevens now with Stevens being knocked to the mat immediately. Off to Kobain for some double teaming but Harris tags himself in. Not sure why he did that but who am I to doubt Braden Walker. O’Reilly comes in sans tag for a double dropkick for two on Harris but Storm makes the save. O’Reilly and Harris trade chops with no one winning, so Cassidy hits Harris low. They’re REALLY lax about DQ’s in this company.

O’Reilly’s Lionsault hits Harris’ knees and there’s a tag off to Kobain. Before the new guy can do anything though, Storm tags himself in and goes up, only to get crotched by Cassidy. A top rope rana is countered and Storm hits a reverse tornado DDT to pin O’Reilly and get us down to two teams. We start with Slash vs. Storm with Slash hammering away and hitting the move Storm would name the Eye of the Storm for two.

Off to Kobain who sends Storm to the floor for a BIG flip dive to take out both guys. Brian Lee and Ron Harris come out to complain about not being in the match. Why are these guys still getting TV time? Since the camera was on them, we don’t see how Storm took Slash down, but who cares because Harris comes in and cleans house.

Everything breaks down and Kobain drills his own partner with an elbow. Storm superkicks Slash down for two for Harris as Kobain tries a tornado DDT, only to get superkicked down as well. Slash counters the reverse tornado DDT from Storm and hits a neckbreaker for two. Ron Harris and Lee head to the ring as Chris Harris hits the Catatonic on Slash for the pin and victory.

Rating: C. This one took a long time to get going but once we got down to the final two teams, it was a lot better. That being said, the stuff before then wasn’t so good for the most part with the Boyz and the Hotshots really just being warm bodies to fill in some spots. Either way, this finally gets AMW closer to the tag titles, which they’ve been deserving for weeks now.

Post match Lee and Ron Harris clear the ring and beat everyone down.

Jarrett wants a title shot and says he’ll beat up the surprise and then Armstrong as well.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. April Hunter

Bruce is a guy and defending and Hunter is a fitness model. The fans tell Bruce that he’s a homosexual and he thinks all the men want him. If April wins, she wins five grand as well. April starts chopping away and hits a head scissors to send Bruce flying. Hunter gets thrown down by the hair and Bruce takes over. April comes back a bit and things speed up but Bruce hits her in the back to stop the momentum cold. A powerbomb ends Hunter pretty easily.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible but it’s still a waste of time and very stupid. Hunter couldn’t be around again for about four months and thankfully the Miss TNA thing would be over soon. It comes off like they’re trying to push the envelope for the sake of pushing the envelope, but it’s much more stupid than interesting or shocking.

Post match Bruce tries to take April’s top off but April’s boyfriend Sylk Wagner Brown makes the save.

Sonny Siaki takes a jab at Hulk Hogan for no apparent reason as Estrada and Yang kind of stare at him.

Flying Elvises vs. S.A.T.

That’s Estrada/Yang vs. the Maximos if you couldn’t tell. It’s Estrada and Joel to start things off and just like the opening match, the opening sequence looks like something they’ve rehearsed for house before the match. Joel takes over with a headlock and a rana but a dropkick is casually avoided by Estrada. A powerslam puts Joel down for two and everything breaks down. The Maximos are sent to the floor and the Elvises live up to their name by flying over the top to take them both out.

Back in and it’s Estrada on I think Jose with a Lionsault getting two on the Maximo. Yang comes in for a leg lariat and a bunch of punches which seem out of place in this match. Off to Estrada who is immediately kicked in both the front and back of the head. A dropkick puts Jorge down and it’s off to Jose. The Maximos, who might be the heels in this but it’s really not clear, double team Estrada a bit and Jose hits a low dropkick to take him down.

Estrada comes back and puts Jose on top for a neckbreaker (remember what I was saying about no selling?) and it’s back to Yang for that figure four necklock of his. That goes nowhere so Yang grabs Jose’s head and puts on a front facelock. Back to Jorge with a slingshot hilo and a clothesline for two each. Estrada goes up again but Jose pops up and kicks him down almost immediately. They slug it out with Estrada hitting a neckbreaker to put both guys down.

It’s a hot tag to Joel who beats up Yang like he owes him money. The Maximos try to double team Estrada but Yang hits a double dropkick to take the brothers down. While Yang beats up Joel, Jose sneaks up from behind and slams Jimmy down, setting up a guillotine legdrop for two. Estrada DDT’s Joel down and hits a springboard backsplash for two.

Joel comes back with a pair of suplexes for four on Estrada followed by a missile dropkick for two by Jose. Yang finally comes back in and makes the save with a leg lariat. He goes up but gets crotches as the SAT loads up the Spanish Fly (double C4 off the top) but Siaki comes out and breaks it up. Yang hits Yangtime on Joel who doesn’t even stay down for a cover so Yang hits a neckbreaker kind of thing for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is another one of those matches that was fun but not exactly good. The Maximos were your standard luchador tag team who did their high spots and not much more. The Elvises story continues to change a bit but it’s only somewhat interesting. Not much to see here and going fifteen minutes was a bad idea for a match like this one.

Here’s Goldilocks to find out what Lawler hates Jarrett for. Lawler comes out and talks about how worthless Goldilocks is and throws her out of his ring. Does Lawler know if he’s a face or a heel? I’m really not sure at this point. Lawler gives Jarrett a five count to get to the ring but at the count of five, here’s Truth to interrupt him again. Lawler backs off from Truth because of the chair shot last week and beats up the photographer taking pictures of Lawler’s girlfriend. Lawler and the girlfriend leave up the ramp. What in the world was the point to this?

Jeff Jarrett vs. The Bullet

The Bullet is a masked guy who gets jumped by Jeff almost immediately and we head to the floor. Jarrett pounds away on Bullet with chairs and sends him into the crowd for a second before going back into the ring. Back in and Bullet escapes an Irish whip and takes Jeff down. There’s a Road Dogg (Armstrong’s real life son) shaky knee drop followed by an atomic drop. A pumphandle slam (another Dogg move) is escaped and Jeff hits him low to take over. Jarrett pulls out a pair of cuffs to tie Bullet to the ropes for a DQ. I’m not even going to bother rating this as it was barely even a match.

Post match Jarrett says he’s going for the mask but Bob Armstrong comes in to jump Jarrett. Keep in mind that Bob is about 62 years old. Jeff hits Bob with the chair and goes for the Bullet, only to have security stop him from taking the mask off. Is there a point to this story at all and I’m just missing it?

Next week is an X-Division Special which should be fun.

We get some highlights of the 2/3 falls series from last week.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Low Ki vs. AJ Styles

This is a ladder match with Ki defending. They circle each other for a bit until Styles drops down and grabs a ladder. Both other guys slide to the floor as well with Styles hitting Jerry with the ladder, only to have Low Ki kick the ladder back into AJ. They head back inside where Low Ki kicks Lynn off the apron. A handspring kick takes Styles down as well as Jerry comes back in.

Lynn hits a sweet spinning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take the champ down before pounding on Styles in the corner. Low Ki gets put in a surfboard but Styles breaks it up and stomps on Low Ki a bit. Jerry suplexes AJ down and puts him in a Liontamer, only to have Low Ki fire off kicks to break it up. Lynn won’t let it go and shouts to kick him harder. Low Ki is fine with that and kicks Lynn hard enough to break up the hold.

A running kick in the corner takes Styles down again before loading him into the Ki Crusher. Instead of dropping him though, Low Ki rams him into Jerry in the corner to put both guys down. The champ goes to get the ladder but Jerry baseball slides it back into Low Ki to take over again. Styles heads to the floor as well to kick the champ in the head before dropping Lynn face first onto the apron.

With the ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade, all three guys stand on top of it and slug it out before a big headbutt sends all three guys to the ground. Lynn is up first and sends a ladder into the ring which is dropkicked into AJ’s ribs and chest on the mat. Low Ki is up again and starts setting up the ladder, only to have AJ deck him from behind. The ladder is leaning against the ropes as AJ GOES OFF on the champ, only to walk into a punch from Jerry.

Lynn and Styles launch Low Ki into the ladder in a double hiptoss and it’s one on one. AJ does a Daniel Bryan backflip off the ladder and tries a tornado DDT, only to have Lynn counter and hit a northern lights suplex to send AJ back first into the ladder. Ki is back in and kicks Jerry down but realizes he can’t pin him. A charge in the corner is caught by Lynn but he ranas Jerry into the ladder to put all three guys down again.

It’s AJ back up first to ram the champ with the ladder before he tries to climb, only to get kicked by Low Ki. AJ is hung in a Tree of Woe in the ladder where Low Ki fires off kicks to the chest. Now Low Ki climbs but Jerry makes the save and suplexes him down off the ladder to put everyone down again. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault DDT on Low Ki to pop the crowd again. Jerry pounds on Styles and catches a jumping champion in a running Liger Bomb to take over yet again.

There’s a second ladder in the ring now as Styles brings in another one. Low Ki slides out and brings in a third as this could get very messy in a hurry. The challengers stop fighting long enough to make a save of Low Ki as Styles and Low Ki fight on top. Low Ki hooks a Dragon Sleeper on top of the ladder (grab the title you dolt) but here’s Lynn again and all three are on a ladder.

In a pretty awesome move, Low Ki has his ladder shoved down but he gets his foot on the top rope and shoves himself and the ladder back to an upright position. AJ gets shoved to the floor and it’s Lynn vs. Low Ki. Jerry is like DIE YOU KICKING SPOT MONKEY and cradle piledrives him off the ladder. Lynn climbs up and wins the title to end the show.

Rating: B+. Solid, solid match here with all three guys beating the tar out of each other. It’s not on the level of one of the TLC matches, but for what we had here, this was one of the better ladder matches you’ll see in awhile. I’d have preferred just Lynn and AJ because I’m not a fan of Low Ki at all, but the shove back off the rope was good enough for me to overlook him. Solid stuff.

Overall Rating: C. The main event is very good but other than that, there’s not much going on at the moment. The big angle wouldn’t begin for a few months, so at this point we’re stuck with just Jarrett and Armstrong, which is getting NO reaction from the fans at all because no one cares about Bob Armstrong. Even in his heyday he was a territory guy at best, and Tennessee wasn’t part of that territory. Therefore, let’s make sure he and Jarrett are the focus of the show, right? Not a terrible show but they’re kind of treading water at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: November 23, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Thanksgiving and we’re just after Survivor Series. Big Show is still champion and it looks like we’re getting Show vs. Sheamus III in a chairs match at TLC. Other than that it’s hard to say what we’re going to get at that show, but I have a feeling it’ll be a lot of rematches. Let’s get to it.

It’s the voiceover deal to start, recapping Raw with the Cena/AJ stuff. You know, in case seeing it five times on Raw wasn’t enough for you. We also see the ending with Ryback getting beaten down again.

We open with MizTV. The guest tonight? John Cena. Well you can’t say they’re being weak with the guests on this one. Cena sits on a couch and says this is awesome. Miz talks about how Cena is more famous for his in ring stuff but lately it’s been like a TMZ story. To prove it, we see the Cena/AJ kiss for the second time in five minutes. Miz asks how the kiss was and how Cena’s knee is after the attack by Ziggler. Apparently Cena has a tweeked knee but it’s nothing serious.

Well that’s enough about wrestling, so let’s talk about AJ some more. Miz wants to know if Cena and AJ are more than just friends, but Cena is tired of hearing that question. Cena does admit that AJ is a good kisser though. Riveting stuff here people. Miz again asks if they’re more than just friends and here’s AJ before Cena can answer. AJ says Cena was just doing that to prove a point to Vickie but Cena seems to dispute this. Miz makes fun of them for being in love, but Cena calls Miz an idiot.

This brings out Ziggler because this segment needs to keep going for some reason. Ziggler says that it’s AJ’s fault that Cena hurt his knee because she burst into the men’s locker room. Pay no attention to the fact that Cena hurt his knee jumping out of the ring after Ziggler which we already saw a video of today I guess. This of course leads to ANOTHER video from Raw with AJ going into the locker room and yelling at Ziggler, leading to a brawl between Dolph and Cena.

Since we haven’t covered this entire storyline yet, here’s Vickie to run her mouth a bit more. Vickie says Dolph kisses real woman which Cena calls a lie because there’s no proof Vickie is an actual woman. Guerrero insists their relationship is just professional and Dolph says he’d bring the woman out of AJ. Cena says Vickie is nuts and Dolph is still looking for his. The segment finally ends with nothing at all new being added.

Ryback vs. Darren Young

Young comes out second which is kind of odd. Titus sits in on commentary. Young pounds away to start but Ryback casually shoves him down. Young gets his head slammed into the mat and Titus blows the whistle at him. Ryback takes Young’s head off with a clothesline on the floor and we head back in. Titus: “Somebody get that boy some medication. Something’s wrong with him.” Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this in 2:03. I’m sure Young will in a title match soon after this and WWE will be confused when no one buys him as a title contender.

Titus yells at Ryback post match and gets a Shell Shock too.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is non-title and is happening because Cesaro has only beaten Truth clean once so far, which means absolutely nothing in the modern WWE. Cesaro insults Thanksgiving before the match as you would expect him to do. Cesaro immediately hits the gutwrench suplex followed by a double stomp and a body vice. Truth comes back with punches and a side kick before countering the Neutralizer with a backdrop. Little Jimmy hits for the clean pin at 1:33.

Just to recap: Cesaro pinned Truth 100% clean at Survivor Series, then Truth gets another match with him and pins him in under two minutes. I SO want to see another match between them now and this certainly doesn’t hurt Cesaro’s credibility at all. My goodness they bring so many problems on themselves it’s unreal. Have Truth beat ANYONE else to earn another shot and this problem does not exist. Is it any surprise that Cesaro is a total afterthought at this point?

Sheamus arrives and Booker stops him from going to the locker room. Due to the attack at Survivor Series, Sheamus can’t compete tonight. Instead Booker gives him a chairs match for the title at TLC. Sheamus gets to go to Booker’s personal suite and watch the show. Big Show has a handicap match later against HELL NO.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The lights are back. JBL says Del Rio is a former AAA champion but I can find no record of that anywhere. Cara immediately knocks him to the floor and hits a big dive on Del Rio and Rodriguez for two back inside. A big running kick misses Del Rio and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto. Cara’s right shoulder goes into the post and we take a break.

Back with Alberto pulling on the mask before shifting over to a chokehold. Del Rio fires off kicks to the back as JBL continues to amuse me. Josh talks about how he and JBL watched the 2/3 falls match earlier today, but JBL makes sure to point out that they were in separate rooms so people don’t think they’re friends. Back to the chinlock by Alberto but Cara comes back with a rana for two. Del Rio hits a kick to the side of the head, drawing a big gasp from the crowd but only getting two.

Things slow down a bit as JBL rips into Mil Mascaras a bit more. Alberto slams Cara down as the announcers stay in their argument. At least this one is entertaining though, unlike Titus and Jerry’s debate about washcloths on Raw. Back to the chinlock for a bit but Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag and cross body for two. The Tajiri Elbow looks to set up the Swanton but Del Rio arm drags Cara off the top and the Cross Armbreaker gets the tap at 6:21 shown of 9:51.

Rating: C. The commentary was more entertaining than the match here but the match wasn’t bad. Seeing Del Rio ground Cara and work the arm over was another example of the solid psychology that Alberto has, which is one of the things that makes him so fun to watch. Pretty decent little TV match here.

Bryan tells Kane to stay out of his way tonight because he can beat Big Show in 45 seconds. Kane asks Bryan if he thinks that’s going to happen again. Guess what Bryan says. Kane says he and Show used to be tag champions and thinks Bryan and Show could be a team called No Show. Bryan: “Is this because I didn’t invite you to my house for Thanksgiving?” Kane: “…….maybe.” Bryan says it was great because they had vegan turkey. Kane wants to know what the point is. If they win tonight, Kane gets to come over for Christmas and beat up Santa Claus. These two are still hilarious.

Big Show vs. HELL NO

The champs (as in the tag champs) have to tag here and Bryan starts with Big Show. Bryan’s trunks are partially black tonight which is a new look for him. Bryan fires off kicks to the leg but Show shoves him down with ease to take over. Show sends him shoulder first into the buckle and works over the arm a bit which isn’t usually his custom. Show lifts him up in the air by the beard as JBL kind of rips into Josh for calling Bryan a goat face.

Bryan comes back with more kicks but Show casually shoves him back down. Back to the arm as Show drops a knee on it and shouts at Kane a bit. Do all the shouting you want as long as we don’t have to sit through another Show vs. Kane match. Show misses a middle rope elbow as Regal and Sheamus are watching from the sky box. Bryan has a chance to tag but shouts NO instead and fires off kicks to Show.

A big kick to the head puts Show down but Show LAUNCHES Bryan off of the cover at two. The chokeslam is countered into a guillotine choke but Show (who is supposed to have a knee injury isn’t he?) throws him off. It’s a sleeper now from Bryan which lasts for over a minute without Show going down at all. There’s the hot tag to Kane who dropkicks Show’s knee out and hits a top rope flying body attack (it was supposed to be the clothesline) but the chokeslam is broken up. A DDT puts Show down but Bryan tags himself in. Bryan tries the NO Lock and Kane walks. The hold is broken and the chokeslam ends Bryan at 10:02.

Rating: C. Not bad here but did this need to be against the tag champions? That’s the problem with the way they’ve set up the roster: there are only a handful of teams that could challenge Big Show, but Show has been booked so strong that no one can give him a legit fight. Also you don’t want Show vs. Kane again as that might be considered torturing the audience. At the end of the day, there wasn’t much they could do here but job the champions. Again.

HELL NO beats up Big Show post match, because we need to make sure everyone stays strong. I know the idea of DON’T HAVE THEM FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE is hard to grasp, but it might be a better way to go.

Show yells at Sheamus, saying that he’ll have a chair too. Sheamus is all BRING IT ON!

Barrett comes out for commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Damien hits a quick suplex for two but Kofi rolls out of a belly to back suplex and sends Sandow to the outside. Kofi gets sent into the buckle and to the floor as well as we take a break. Back with Damien holding a kind of crossface chickenwing before hitting a knee to the ribs to keep control. Apparently Barrett has earned an IC Title shot from his win on Monday. What exactly did Damien do to get this show?

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow followed by the running hip attack to the back of Kofi while he’s in 619 position (you come up with a name for it) for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. A quick slugout goes to Sandow because of Kofi’s bad eye and Kofi’s back gets rammed into the apron.

Sandow stomps away but Kofi gets up top for the cross body for two. Damien sends him into the middle buckle for a rollup for two, followed by the SOS for the same result for the champion. Kingston speeds things up and fires off chops and a dropkick to put Sandow down. There’s the Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 5:57 shown of 9:27.

Rating: C+. As usual, the midcard champion is in need of a win to get any kind of momentum back. You know, because we had to have him lose on Monday to Barrett. The better idea would have been to have Barrett win by referee’s stoppage, making it so that Kofi didn’t get pinned but acknowledging that he’s in danger against Barrett. But instead let’s just have him get pinned and have him lose some credibility because, you know, who cares about stuff like that. The match was fine.

Barrett says he’s coming for the title.

According to my watch, we’ve gone a whole twenty minutes since we talked about something on Raw, so here’s a recap of the end of the show with the Championship Celebration and Ryback getting beaten down again.

Reigns, Rollins and Ambrose will speak on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Main event time here. Orton pounds away to start and Ziggler hides in the corner. Ziggler takes him to the mat before pounding away on Randy’s head in the corner. Orton comes back with his dropkick for two and a slingshot suplex for the same. They head to the outside with Ziggler trying to hide in the crowd, but it’s kind of hard for a large man with blonde hair and pink trunks to hide, even in a mass of people.

Ziggler gets knocked down on the concrete as we take a break. Back with Dolph breaking out of a chinlock before Orton suplexes him right back down for two. With Ziggler laying on the apron, Orton stomps away and hits a slingshot to send Dolph throat first into the bottom rope and out to the floor. Ziggler throws Orton into the announce table and dropkicks him down, but Dolph might have injured his own knee in the process.

Back in and Ziggler erupts on Randy, pounding away on him with kicks and punches. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Ziggler’s knee seems to be fine. Orton fights up and gets that rolling cradle out of the corner for two. We get a dueling chant from the crowd as the chinlock goes on again, this time resulting in Orton punching his way out of it. Ziggler stops the comeback dead with a DDT for a close two. This is starting to get better.

Dolph goes up top and is immediately superplexed right back down. It’s cool to see Orton expanding his moveset with stuff like the superplex and the slingshot suplex he used earlier. There’s the powerslam followed by the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into a rollup with trunks for the surprise pin at 9:37 shown of 13:07.

Rating: B-. Solid TV main event here but it’s a match we’ve seen several times before. It’s nice to see Dolph win here and a little bit of cheating never huts a good heel. Orton is one of those guys who isn’t going to be hurt badly by a loss so there’s no problem on his end. Dolph seems to be getting a push lately, which is nice to see as it seems that he’ll be cashing in his case soon. Then again it’s felt like that for months now.

Post match Ricardo and Alberto try to run in but Orton hits the RKO on Ricardo and Alberto stops on the apron. WHY IS THIS STILL GOING??? Cena comes out and puts Ziggler in the STF on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Did I miss something or did almost nothing happen on this show? It felt like a supplement to Raw, and while it usually feels like one of those, this was even worse than usual. There was just nothing going on here at all and the booking made limited sense at best. The main event stuff seems to be pointing to a tag match which is fine, but other than that I’m not sure what the point of this show was. Nothing to see here at all.

Results

Ryback b. Darren Young – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro – Little Jimmy

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker

Big Show b. HELL NO – Chokeslam to Bryan

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

TNA Weekly PPV #10
Date: August 21, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We finally hit the two number mark and it’s a two out of three falls match tonight with AJ vs. Lynn to unfortunately get us closer to the end of their feud. On top of that we’ve got Truth defending against Monty Brown and the usual stuff other than that. After the backers left after last week, it should be interesting to see where things go now. Let’s get to it.

AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This is the falls count anywhere match which is the first of three between the two tonight. AJ tries a baseball slide as Lynn comes in because he’s all evil at the moment. Lynn pounds on AJ and we head into the crowd which is fine here as the fall can end there. That’s what got old about ECW: the brawling was worthless because the match couldn’t end out there. After nothing in the crowd, they chop it out around ringside and Lynn crotches AJ on the railing.

We head back into the crowd but since the production values have to be lower now, we can barely see what’s going on. I guess it’s more like ECW than I thought. AJ throws him into a barricade and hits a backsplash for two. Back to ringside we go with Lynn suplexing AJ onto the floor for two and we head back inside. AJ tries the springboard moonsault but Lynn jawbreakers (is that a word?) him to counter. This isn’t going as fast paced as you would likely expect, but it’s the first of three ten minute matches they’re doing tonight.

The Cradle Piledriver is broken up by something like an X-Factor and both guys are down. AJ tries a suplex but gets countered into a neckbreaker before we head back outside where Styles gets two off a rana. An enziguri puts Lynn down and they head up the ramp. Lynn hits a spear of all things and bulldogs Styles off the stage onto a well placed platform. Back up to the stage and Lynn counters a Styles Clash into the piledriver to win the first match.

Rating: C+. Like I said, they’re doing thirty minutes in total tonight so them going a bit below their usual speed is acceptable. The ending was nothing special here but being on the stage made the piledriver look much better. AJ as a heel worked well at first, but once he turned face he was going to be a big deal and everyone knew it. Solid opener here though.

AMW is in the back (they need to be officially named already) and Harris is annoyed at Storm doing the cowboy gimmick too much. That’s the reason why they’re not on TV as much apparently. It’s so hilarious to hear Chris Harris giving James Storm career advice. Ron Harris and Brian Lee, their opponents tonight, come up and cowboy jokes are made.

Chris Harris/James Storm vs. Ron Harris/Brian Lee

You might remember Lee from ECW. He and Storm start things off with the Cowboy getting pounded down in the corner. Well it was a very different time for him so this isn’t a big surprise. Storm avoids a charge and fires off some forearms to take over. Everything breaks down for a minute before it’s off to Harris vs. Harris. Great now I can’t use that name anymore. Ron is immediately armdragged out to the floor and things reset again.

Back in and the Harris Brother (that’s Ron by the way) hits a bunch of clotheslines before being clotheslined down himself. Wildcat (Chris Harris) sends Ron to the floor via a backdrop so Storm dives on both guys in a nice spot that you occasionally see him do to this day. Back in and it’s Lee vs. Wildcat with the former hitting a Tombstone to take over. Well he was the fake Undertaker in 1995 so that’s very fitting.

We enter the formula part of the match as Harris gets beaten down through various big power man offense. This is one of those matches that is basically there to fill time, because there’s no reason to believe that AMW is going to lose given how they’ve been pushed lately. Chris comes back with a Thesz Press on Lee but gets hit low to slow him right back down.

We head to the floor for nothing of note and it’s back to Ron. After an arrogant heel cover, James hits a bulldog which is enough for the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down quickly and Lee is knocked to the floor. A plant gets in a fight with him as Storm rolls up Ron for the pin.

Rating: D+. Like I said, it’s hard to buy into the makeshift big man team as a threat to a pair that hasn’t lost yet I don’t believe. They’ll be named soon enough and the rest will be history after that. Anyway, not much here but that’s the case for a lot of this show as it’s basically just filling in time until we get to the stuff that actually matters.

We run down the rest of the card to fill in some time.

Jimmy Yang vs. Sonni Siaki

This is 2/3 falls and the fight starts on the stage. Yang kicks him down and sends Siaki into the barricade before dancing a bit. This is I guess the blowoff of the Flying Elvises deal. Yang dances a bit and shows off a Yang Time sign from the crowd. Yang gets two off a dropkick and hits a charging Siaki with an elbow to the face. A Figure Four necklock across the top rope has Siaki in even more trouble and a missile dropkick gets two. We hit the chinlock so Tenay can talk about some card in Japan. Siaki comes back with a quick Cutter but Yang neckbreaks him down and Yang Time (Phoenix Splash) gives him the first fall.

Yang tries that neck lock thing again but Siaki sends him to the floor. They head into the crowd where Siaki immediately suplexes Jimmy back to ringside. This is a much more physical brawl than I was expecting. Back in and a spinning neckbreaker gets two for Siaki and it’s off to a chinlock. After some chops it’s a pumphandle slam for two for Siaki and a legdrop gets the same.

Siaki hooks a surfboard and the fans are getting WAY into Yang here which is kind of surprising. Honestly I can’t even remember who the third Elvis was at this point but apparently the right two were picked for this match. The hold is broken but Siaki immediately takes him right back down with a lariat for another two count. Yang finally gets a boot up in the corner to break the momentum and a top rope spinwheel kick gets two. A suplex from Yang doesn’t work though and a neckbreaker (called the Money Clip) ties things up at a fall apiece.

Siaki immediately keeps going with a shoulderbreaker, followed by a not exactly Storm-level half crab by Yang. After some quick leg work by Jimmy, Siaki loads up a superplex which is basically no sold by Yang. A Shining Wizard puts Siaki back down as Tenay is overdoing the commentary as he also does. A pair of clotheslines get two for Yang as does a moonsault kick out of the corner.

Yang pounds away in the corner but Siaki drops him face first on the buckle in a nice counter. They head up again with Yang coming off with a top rope swinging neckbreaker for no cover. Jorge Estrada (that’s the third Elvis. I seriously didn’t remember him until now) gets on the apron, allowing Siaki to roll up Yang with the ropes for the pin. I’m not sure whose side Estrada was on there.

Rating: C-. This kind of went on forever and I really didn’t see the need for this to be two out of three falls. Siaki was a solid choice for a midcard heel but he needed to get away from the Elvises before he could really go anywhere. Yang would go on to WWE soon after this as one of Tajiri’s henchmen. Not a terrible match but not great here either as Yang’s selling was barely there.

As soon as Siaki’s music hits, here’s Jeff Jarrett. He wants to talk to Bob Armstrong right now and doesn’t care about whatever surprise Armstrong has planned. Brian Lawler jumps Jarrett and a brawl breaks out before it’s quickly broken up by security. Goldilock has Lawler about to say what his problem is with Jarret but Slash jumps Lawler from behind and we have an impromptu match.

Brian Lawler vs. Slash

Apparently this is a scheduled match for later but we’re getting it now instead. Slash knocks him to the floor and throws Lawler into the barricade before peeling back the mats. He loads up a piledriver on the floor but Lawler backdrops him down to prevent presumably death. Lawler knocks Slash down and we head up the ramp for a bulldog on the ramp by Lawler. Brian tries to get a chair from a fan but the fan won’t give it up.

Back in and Slash grabs a superplex for two, followed by what we would call the Eye of the Storm. Lawler comes back with a floatover DDT but stops to dance instead of covering. There’s an enziguri from Brian and there’s even more dancing. Both guys hit the other low (in front of the referee who is cool with this I guess) before Slash puts Lawler on top. Brian knocks him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t quite work because Lawler is really hard to care about. I have no idea if he’s a face or if he’s a heel here and the lack of clarity is really annoying after awhile. Also, the dancing thing is dead but he keeps doing it anyway because it used to work a few years ago. Slash and the Disciples of the New Church continue their free fall as well.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. Amazing Red

Elimination rules here and Low Ki is defending. Apparently the three men form a team called the S.A.T.’s. I think I remember hearing that before. Didn’t we basically do the same thing last week with the Elvises? They all go after Low Ki to start but he, say it with me, kicks them all down. Both of the Maximos get hard kicks in the head and apparently they have to tag.

Red and the Maximos get in a fight before it gets down to Red vs. Ki with the champ hitting a hard elbow for two. The Ki Crusher 99 is broken up and Red fires off a kick to the back to take over. Off to let’s say Jose who has a tornado DDT countered and the champ fires off some chops in the corner. The Maximos double team Low Ki a bit to take him down and Joel gets two off a clothesline.

Ki comes off the ropes with a pretty sloppy springboard rana to take Joel down and then kicks the tar out of both brothers at the same time. Red tags himself in and tries to pin Joel off a standing shooting star but only gets two. We get some overly complicated triple teaming from the SAT’s before Red turns on Jose with a rana. Joel drops Ki with something like Wasteland but he pops up (selling? What’s that?) and hits a spinning springboard kick to Red who is dropped from WAY in the air by Joel.

Ki gets sent to the floor so the three guys in the ring get to flip around a bit. Red hits a bunch of kicks to send the brothers to the outside followed by a rana to Jose off the apron to send him into Joel on the floor. Red loads up a dive onto Ki but the champ kicks him in the head on the way. Ki loads up the Crusher but instead throws Red over the top onto the brothers to take them out again. A big twisting dive takes out the Maximos and everyone is down.

Back in and Jose hits a powerbomb into a facebuster on Red for two. Joel hits a sitout Pedigree on Jose for a fast elimination and Ki rips off kicks to the face of the remaining Maximo. A springboard tornado DDT takes Joel down and the Infra-Red (spinning corkscrew “splash”) gets us down to Ki vs. Red. Ki slams Red into the corner a few times before trying a Ki Crusher out of the corner. Red escapes to avoid death but Ki hits it anyway for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. The more I see of these kind of matches, the less I care about them at all. They’re all over the place and have a ton of botches throughout them. Also the idea of selling ANYTHING is totally foreign. As for the match itself, was there ever any doubt as to who the final two were going to be? The fans liked it but it’s just nothing of note at all other than some decent high spots.

Truth says he set the African American sports entertainers free like Lincoln did with the slaves. Brown has to kill him to take the title.

April Hunter, an adult star, has accepted Bruce’s challenge for next week. Ok then.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Monty Brown

Truth is defending if that’s not clear. Brown shoves him around and they slug it out a bit with Brown taking over. A bunch of shoulder blocks get two on the champ but Truth low bridges him to send Brown to the floor. Truth dives onto Brown on the ramp before sending him into the steps and stomping away.

The champ gets on the announce table but Brown fights back. The Alpha Bomb through the table is blocked and they keep slugging it out. Brown hits a release overhead belly to belly, sending Truch onto his head. FREAKING OW MAN. Back in and Brown pounds away but walks into a Downward Spiral for two. Truth hooks a chinlock but Brown fights up and hits a sunset flip for two.

Brown grabs a suplex and after some LOUD spot calling, a snap suplex puts both guys down. A powerslam puts Truth down and a splash gets two for Monty. Truth does his signature backflip into the splits into the side kick sequence but Brown ducks away, only to get caught by the ax kick. That gets two and Brown has the Alpha Bomb countered into….I think that’s supposed to be a sunset flip by Truth for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with both guys looking completely not ready for this level at all. Brown would get better when they just turned him into a monster that ran through people with the Pounce. This match sucked though, with both guys botching a ton of stuff, with the ending being an especially big eyesore. Nothing good at all from this one.

Post match Jarrett runs in and beats up Brown with a chair. Truth blocks a shot and slugs it out with Jarrett until Brian Lawler comes in to beat on Jarrett again. Lawler swings the chair but Jarrett pulls Truth in the way and the champ is out. Brown is like whatever man.

Lynn is in the back with Goldy when Styles jumps him, starting the second match in the series tonight.

AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This is No DQ. AJ beats on Jerry to send him down to ringside and then into the ring. Lynn gets sent to the apron but grabs AJ’s neck to guillotine him on the top to take over. We already have a table set up but Lynn’s sunset bomb through said table is blocked. AJ misses a splash and Lynn grabs a chair but Styles takes him down and legdrops the chair onto Jerry’s face. This is very fast paced so far.

The chair is placed between the top and middle ropes in the corner as Lynn tries a powerbomb on AJ, only to get countered into a sunset flip for two. AJ gets sent face first into the chair (following law #1 of wrestling: if you set it up, you get hurt by it) for two before being sent to the apron. Lynn hits his rotating legdrop to the back of Styles’ head but his tornado DDT through the table is countered. Still fast paced and really good stuff so far.

Back in and AJ clotheslines Lynn down before BADLY missing a springboard splash, drawing a rare derogatory chant at Styles. They clothesline each other down and it’s Lynn getting up first. He tries a sunset flip, only to get whacked in the head by a chair by AJ. Well that’s efficient. AJ loads up another chair shot but Lynn channels his inner RVD to dropkick it back into Styles’ face. That gets two so Lynn DDTs AJ off the top for another two.

The fans want tables (again) as Jerry gets kicked away from the ropes. That gets AJ nowhere as Lynn crotches him and hits a HUGE rana to send Styles through the table on the floor. Somehow that only gets two so Jerry takes the chair and goes up. A sunset bomb by AJ doesn’t work, but he hangs on and hits the Styles Clash onto the chair to knock Jerry out cold and get the pin to tie up the series.

Rating: B. REALLY fast paced match here but unlike the fourway, this one was, you know, good. This was the feud that got the company noticed, which is something Lynn was always good for: a solid performance that got someone else, be it Van Dam or AJ, over better than they ever could on their own. Good stuff here.

The third match, a ten minute Iron Man match, begins immediately.

AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

AJ gets two quick falls on the unconscious Lynn inside of twenty seconds. A third attempt only gets two and Lynn fights back with a neckbreaker. Styles grabs a sleeper and pulls Lynn down by the long hair. Why would you ever be a face with long hair? It’s not going to end well for you. A chinlock goes nowhere so AJ tries a rana, only to get countered into an X-Factor from Lynn to make it 2-1. Jerry tries to do what AJ did and get a second pin really fast but Styles gets up at two.

We’re about four minutes in now as AJ counters the cradle piledriver with a backrdrop before missing a corner charge. That always happens for some reason. Jerry goes up top but gets caught in a crucifix and slammed face down onto the mat to make it 3-1 AJ. A spinwheel kick puts Jerry down again as we have Low Ki standing on the stage with a ladder for no apparent reason. Two minutes to go now and Jerry grabs a tombstone out of nowhere to make it 3-2.

Lynn loads up the cradle piledriver but AJ keeps blocking it. In a nice thinking move, Jerry shifts his legs and hooks AJ in a Styles Clash of all things to tie the match up again. That’s a Russo favorite but I don’t think he was around at this point yet. A backslide gets two for AJ and they fight to a draw in a slick pinfall reversal sequence.

Rating: C+. Not as good as the No DQ match but then again this was their third match of the night. This is one of those feuds that works well, so naturally TNA’s idea is to run it into the ground by doing the same match over and over again. Still though, good stuff here, really stupid ending aside.

Post match Low Ki kicks them both and says it’s a triple threat ladder match next week for the title.

Scott Armstrong begs his dad not to fight Jeff Jarrett. Oh yeah, Jarrett is closing the show. Did you expect anything different?

Jeff comes to the ring and wants the surprise revealed to him now, so here’s The Bullet, which is Bob Armstrong’s masked persona from the 80s. Jeff pounds on him but the unmasked Bob comes out to beat up Jeff to close the show.

Overall Rating: B-. See what happens when you don’t have stupid comedy? Granted it would be better if this happened because that’s the right way to go and not because they couldn’t afford the bigger names, but I’ll take what I can get. The problem with this show is mainly in the Jarrett stuff as the Armstrongs and Brian Lawler simply are not interesting people. Then again this is Jeff Jarrett so logic doesn’t matter much to him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is something that’s been around for awhile but it’s getting worse.On Raw, Orton beat Del Rio in a 2/3 falls match.  Why did this match happen?  Orton already beat Del Rio in a one on one match and again in a falls count anywhere match.  It’s been established that Orton is superior, so why is the feud continuing?  The same is true of the Sheamus vs. Del Rio feud from a few months ago.  Sheamus beat him clean more than once but the feud just kept going.  That’s one of the big problems WWE has right now: nothing feels like a blowoff match.  It feels like the last match that happens in a feud.  It’s like a movie with no real ending but rather a point where it just stops.  That’s not good storytelling.

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 22, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

It’s Thanksgiving and tonight is Open Fight Night. Since no one is watching tonight, the hook of the show is that the Gut Check guys are coming back to issue the challenges. In other words, tonight we’re basically going to have nothing but OVW guys fighting people from TNA. Why do I watch this every week again? Let’s get to it.

Gut Check: Wes Brisco vs. Garrett Bischoff

Oh come on man. This is what we’re opening with? Wes takes it to the mat very quickly but Brisco takes him down even faster. A legdrop misses and here’s Angle to watch Brisco who he’s kind of mentoring. Both guys try dropkicks at the same time and it’s a standoff. Garrett takes him to the mat again with a headlock takeover but Brisco comes back with a neckbreaker for two. Garrett hooks a chinlock and this is already dull. They trade some pinfall attempts and Garrett takes him down with a flapjack for two. Brisco comes back with Kofi’s SOS for the pin at 4:16. Ignore that Brisco’s shoulders were down too.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where everything was technically fine but it’s a guy in his first match against a guy that no one likes at all. Based on that, why am I supposed to care about something like this? Brisco winning doesn’t mean much as he beat a jobber, but that doesn’t guarantee him a contract right? Nothing to see here.

Al Snow pumps up the Gut Check guys in the back.

Angle congratulates both guys in the back.

Here’s Joey Ryan for a chat. He says that it’s Open Fight Night for the Gut Check winners, but he didn’t need to win Gut Check at all. Hogan thinks he can split up Morgan and Ryan to conquer them, but you can’t divide the tag champions which is what Ryan and Morgan will become.

Joey Ryan vs. Chavo Guerrero

Ryan jumps Chavo as he comes in but Chavo comes back with right hands very quickly. Joey misses a charge in the corner but decks Guerrero anyway to take over. A dropkick gets one and it’s chinlock time. That goes nowhere so Guerrero dropkicks Ryan down and wins a slugout. Chavo gets sent to the apron but elbows Ryan down and hits the slingshot hilo. The Three Amigos look to set up the Frog Splash but Morgan comes in and chokeslams Chavo down for the DQ at 3:50.

Rating: C. This was better than the opening match but it doesn’t make me want to see a tag title match between the two teams. It looks like Ryan is a guy that knows about two moves and who Chavo had beaten in less than four minutes. I really don’t get why Ryan and Morgan are together but they likely shouldn’t be.

Hernandez clears Morgan out of the ring.

Aries says he’s got someone special in mind to call out tonight and it’ll be a family affair.

Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva

I’m not going to bother talking about the call outs unless there’s something significant because it looks like they’re going to be “I want to fight *insert name here*!” Silva, who has some VERY skinny legs, charges at Shaw and takes him down almost immediately. We hear about OVW and how it’s the developmental territory which is kind of strange to hear on a national TV show. Silva misses a legdrop but stays on offense anyway. Shaw snaps and hits a spear and a bunch of dropkicks followed by Orton’s backbreaker and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine legdrop (called the Breaking Point for some reason) ends Silva at 4:00.

Rating: D+. What I saw here were two guys that have no character, no stories and no business being on national TV. There wasn’t anything terrible in it but there’s also no reason to care. Basically all that happened here was “Hey, remember these guys? They lost matches earlier this year and now they’re back!” Not really interesting, but again no one is watching tonight. Except me. I hate my life.

Eric Young and ODB have the turkey suit and go in to see Hogan. Turkey jokes are made and Hogan says ok but get out of here. Hogan: “When I grow up, I want to be him.” O……k?

Eric and ODB run into the Rob’s and apparently Big Rob was scarred for life because of being in the turkey suit last week. Jesse and Tara pop up and apparently there’s going to be a triple threat turkey match. Rob and Jesse have a tool off in a bizarrely intriguing moment.

We recap the Aces and 8’s hammer attacks. This leads to a video about Joseph Park’s story with the gang.

Aces and 8’s have a Thanksgiving feast and Doc is a fully patched member. Apparently some guy named VP gets to throw the next dart to decide who the target is.

Video on Christian York and his Gut Check experience.

Christian York vs. Jeff Hardy

See, THIS is the kind of call out that actually works. Feeling out process to start and Hardy elbows York into the corner. This is non-title of course. York comes back with some kicks to send Hardy into the corner again and we take a break at a standoff. Back with Hardy sending Christian into the corner but the Twist of Fate misses, giving York two.

York hits a half nelson suplex and puts on a kind of Octopus hold while on his back. That gets broken up but the Twist of Fate doesn’t work. York hits a Twist on Hardy for two but a swinging neckbreaker is countered into the sitout gordbuster. Jeff goes up but has to settle for a sunset bomb off the top instead of the Swanton. There’s the Twist and the Swanton gets the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but I was so bored sitting through it. At the end of the day, York is a guy we’ve seen once and we’re supposed to buy him as having a chance against Jeff Hardy? York looked decent out there and got to show off a bit, but this night of no stories isn’t doing anything for me at all.

Post match Roode comes in and hits a spinebuster on York and a spear on Hardy for good measure.

We look at Taeler Hendrix’s Gut Check. At least she’s something to look at.

Brooke Hogan comes up to waste our time with Taeler Hendrix.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Tara

Non-title again. Tara throws her around, massages Jesse, and chokes Taeler a bit. Taeler hits something vaguely resembling a dropkick to send Tara into Jesse followed by a spinning suplex slam (think Cena’s finishing sequence) for two and a cross body for the same. A high kick gets two for Taeler but Tara hits ajawbreaker and a big right hand with some overselling by Hendrix. Widow’s Peak ends it at 4:20.

Rating: D. Again, why is this supposed to be interesting? We have a bit name chick and a no name chick and the big name chick beat up the no name chick. Why is that supposed to be interesting? Hendrix seems to be a nice girl but she’s not ready yet for something like this, which is the problem with modern wrestling: she needs experience but after you work the indies, you’re told you have to learn a mainstream style so there’s no point to going to the indies anymore, meaning you get a lot of inexperienced people on the main shows who are there because of potential. That’s not good for the future of wrestling.

Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E

The loser has to wear a turkey suit. I think I smell a comedy match. Eric locks up with the referee to start and then clotheslines down the other two guys. The heels beat Eric down and then get in a fight of their own for no apparent reason other than that’s how triple threats work. Eric comes back as ODB and Tara get in a fight in the ring. They do the roll on the referee spot and Jesse is sent to the floor. The Rob’s have miscommunication and Eric throws E to the floor. The Stunner is broken up and an O’Connor Roll pins Jesse at 3:33.

Rating: D+. It was a comedy match and that’s it. Eric did his schtick and we get a comedy payoff with Jesse in a turkey suit. Again though, this is one of those matches that just don’t matter. Then again, this show doesn’t matter at all so it’s not like this means anything. It’s tradition I guess.

Jesse puts the suit on and hates it of course. The important thing though is here are Aces and 8’s to destroy Eric with the hammer. That’s likely his exit from the company and hopefully the end of the stupid Knockout Tag Titles.

Here are Daniels and Kaz with Daniels talking about the “final” battle with AJ coming up at Final Resolution. However tonight, it’s Kaz vs. Styles.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

I’m surprised they have to feel each other out given how many times they’ve fought. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Kaz to the floor and a headscissors takes Kaz down back in the ring. Styles gets knocked down out of the corner and Kaz pounds away, hitting a gutwrench suplex for two. AJ makes a quick comeback but gets taken down by a DDT. A sunset flip out of the corner by Styles is countered into a cover but Kaz is caught holding the ropes. Earl Hebner shoves Kaz into a rollup for two but there’s the Pele for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s too late to save this show. You can’t have a show be this boring to start things off before having some good stuff at the end and expect people to care about it still. AJ is fine in the ring and it’s good to see him have a story, but do we REALLY need to see him vs. Daniels again? There’s no one else he can fight? Really?

Here’s Aries to end the show. He’s in a suit so this isn’t likely going to be a match. Aries thinks the deck is stacked against him in the last few months and that’s because of Hogan. So he calls out…..Brooke Hogan. Well of course he does. He’s tired of hearing about the name Hogan all the time and knows Brooke is waiting to get married to get rid of that name. Maybe she could be Miss Brooke McMahon or Brooke Trump?

Apparently it’s going to be Miss Bully Ray because Aries has footage. WHAT IS WITH THE HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP THEME IN WRESTLING ANYMORE??? It’s the same clips we’ve seen of the two of them together the last two weeks. Aries says he’ll give her all the stuffing she wants, which brings out Hulk and Ray to chase Aries off. Brooke looks back and forth between Hulk and Bully while giving Hulk a look as if to say she’s sorry. Brooke runs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but as I’ve said earlier, I know why it happened. The audience for this is likely to be weak so why bother wasting a big show on it? They just cooled their heels a bit here to waste some time which is understandable, but it doesn’t make the show easy to sit through. The Gut Check guys won’t be seen again for months and I can’t say I’m complaining at all. Back to normal next week I’m sure.

Results

Wes Brisco b. Garrett Bischoff – Side Cradle

Chavo Guerrero b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Sam Shaw b. Alex Silva – Breaking Point

Jeff Hardy b. Christian York – Swanton Bomb

Tara b. Taeler Hendrix – Widow’s Peak

Eric Young b. Jesse Godderz and Robbie E – Rollup to Godderz

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Pele

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who comes here every day and has supported me over the last two years or so.  My numbers haven’t been stronger than they have been in the last few weeks ever outside of Wrestlemania time so I’m thrilled with the response I’ve been getting.  Thank you very much for it and Happy Thanksgiving to those of you that celebrate it.

KB

NXT
Date: November 21, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, Jim Ross

After last week not a lot has changed, as we’re still moving towards Mahal vs. Rollins II for the title. On top of that we’ve got Vickie continuing to have her bounty on Langston who is rapidly becoming one of my favorite people on this show. NXT has been the best wrestling show on TV for months now and hopefully that remains the case here tonight. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Kassius Ohno didn’t want to talk about Trent Barreta. He has a premonition about ending Trent’s career tonight like he did to Richie Steamboat.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Feeling out process to start of course before Paige takes over with a Japanese armdrag. Fox lands on her feet out of a monkey flip as the fans are WAY behind Paige. Alicia mostly botches what I think was supposed to be a suplex but it looked more like a slam. A northern lights suplex gets two on Paige and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Paige finally makes a rope and gets two off a cross body. A sunset flip out of the corner gets the same for Fox but she walks into the Paige Turner (kind of a snap Angle Slam but Paige never lifted her off the mat) for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: D+. Fox just isn’t that good. She’s very sloppy when she’s on offense and has been for years now. Paige is one of those girls that could be very good when she gets some more experience and the fans love her. On top of that, she’s 20 years old. That’s very impressive when you consider how good she is already.

Camacho vs. Big E. Langston

This is a match for the $5000 bounty that Vickie has put on Langston’s head. Camacho tries to pound on him but Langston keeps shoving him away. A shot out of the corner puts Big E. down but Camacho slaps him like an idiot. The Big Ending (falling slam) ends Camacho at 2:06.

Langston demands the five count and you don’t tell a man like that no. Camacho gets two more Big Endings for good measure.

We go to the back and Trent Barreta is down and in pain. Leo Kruger can be seen out of range smiling evily.

Post break we’re told Trent isn’t cleared for the main event yet.

Bronson vs. Nick Rogers

SWEET! Bronson is back! He shoves Rogers into the corner and completely no sells all of the shots from Nick. Bronson goes after the leg before hitting a crossface to the head. A lot of stomps and knees keep Rogers down as Bronson works on the leg. An STO sets up that kind of inverted Figure Four from Bronson for the tap out at 1:49. I love this guy.

Here’s Bray Wyatt who says all of the little lambs should fear him. Tonight he’s giving our lives purpose for the first time ever. He sits down in a rocking chair as Luke Harper comes out for his match.

Luke Harper vs. Mike Dalton

Harper looks like he looked as Brodie Lee in the indies. The fans chant for Ziggler who Dalton does look a bit like. Harper pounds away as Wyatt sits in the rocking chair. Dalton gets thrown around a lot as Harper keeps looking at Wyatt. A BIG spinning Boss Man Slam completes the squash at 2:41. Harper won in case you’re a rather dense person that needs everything explained to them.

Harper gets on his knees in front of Wyatt. Bray says he’s been around for 2000 years and says that once he decides it’s time to start hurting people, there will be no one left.

Earlier today, Mahal attacked Rollins in the back but Seth beat him down.

The Raw ReBound recaps (shocking) the end of the show.

Kassius Ohno vs. Trent Barreta

There’s a lot of time left in the show for this. Ohno says that there’s no opponent for him tonight because Trent is injured. Ohno demands that the referee count to ten and declare him the winner, but here’s Dusty Rhodes with something to say. He says that he knows Ohno had something to do with Trent’s attack and he’s got a replacement. Total time between Dusty appearing and the replacement’s music hitting: sixty seconds.

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat

Richie starts fast and beats Ohno into the corner and hits a quick cross body for a two count. Steamboat pounds away in the corner and sends Kassius to the apron. Ohno skins the cat but Richie clotheslines him to the floor. It’s almost like Richie has insight into that move. A big dive to the floor takes Ohno out and we take a break.

Back with Richie holding a chinlock on Ohno until Kassius makes it to the rope. A low dropkick to the head puts Steamboat down and it’s cravate time. Ohno pounds him in the head some more for a pair of two counts and it’s back to the cravate. Steamboat fights up and gets a pair of quick rollups for two. Ohno comes back with a kind of lifting Downward Spiral for two of his own as this keeps going back and forth.

Steamboat fires off a bunch of chops to the chest and head to slow Kassius down before they head to the corner. Richie comes off the top but dives into a headbutt from Ohno to put both guys down again. In a bit of a strange ending, Ohno hits a running clothesline in the corner but as he goes to throw Steamboat to the floor, Steamboat rolls him up for two and hits the Slingblade (swing around neckbreaker) for the pin at 10:28 shown of 13:58.

Rating: C-. Sudden ending aside, this wasn’t an incredibly good match. I know Ohno is considered a great talent, but I really don’t see the appeal of him from what I’ve seen in FCW. He’s not bad but if I didn’t know he had been such a big deal in the indies, I wouldn’t have much interest in him at all. Steamboat is pretty generic as well with nothing interesting going on about him. Not a bad match but it was bland, like most of their matches so far.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another solid episode of NXT. There’s an energy to this show that you don’t get on any other wrestling series at the moment which makes it the most fun show going. It’s a combination of them using their time efficiently as well as having interesting characters who are all treated as big deals rather than there being a clear hierarchy like Raw or Impact have. Also the title match isn’t the focus at all but the other guys are built up well enough that it can be overlooked, which says a lot about the rest of the show.

Results

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner

Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending

Bronson b. Nick Rogers – Inverted Figure Four

Luke Harper b. Mike Dalton – Spinning Boss Man Slam

Richie Steamboat b. Kassius Ohno – Slingblade

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2012
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Survivor Series was last night and to say I’m not thrilled by the prospects at the moment for the WWE is an understatement. Ryback lost the world title match because of an invading group of NXT guys, but other than that there’s not much to get excited about. Thankfully this is the time of year when the WWE actually starts trying so maybe they’ll do that again tonight. Let’s get to it.

They do that stupid voiceover thing again. That has to go soon. It’s a recap of last night but they don’t say what happened. Oh wait yes they do because this show is stupid.

Here’s Ryback to open the show….for a promo? Well that’s certainly different. He says he was about to feast on the WWE Championship last night, but Punk had three men take food out of a starving man’s mouth. Ryback is a predator and those four men are now his prey. He wants them out here right now, but if they don’t he’s going to tear this place apart. A feed me more chant starts and here’s Vickie. She says if Ryback attacks anyone in the back, it’s a fine or suspension. For now though, here’s a match for him.

Ryback vs. Tensai

Oh joy. They fight over a lockup to start followed by Ryback running over Tensai. Tensai headbutts him in the corner as we’re just waiting on the inevitable here. A Thesz Press of all things takes down Tensai and Ryback rams his head into the mat over and over again. A Baldo Bomb puts Ryback down and the backsplash gets no count at all. There was a cover but Ryback got up before one. A powerslam puts Tensai down as does a spinebuster before we head outside. Back in and it’s the Meat Hook and Shell Shock (BIG reaction when he got Tensai up) for the pin at 3:33.

Rating: D+. The ending looked good but there was nothing to this match because there’s nothing to Tensai. Why am I supposed to care about Ryback beating a guy who hasn’t won a match in months, especially when he’s beaten him so many times already? Just nothing of note here and a waste of time for the most part. Ryback isn’t going to get the title anytime soon, and that’s the problem for him right now.

Sheamus is yelling at the referee from last night.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start with Kofi hitting a jumping back elbow (love that move) for two. King talks about Barrett’s nose as Kofi pounds Wade in the face. Wade comes back with shots to the ribs to take over as this hasn’t gone that far in the first few minutes. A neckbreaker gets two for Wade and we take a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock and apparently Barrett attacked the eye earlier.

Barrett hits the boot to the face while Kofi is in the ropes to keep Kingston in even more trouble. Kofi’s head goes into the steps before a kick to the head gets two back inside. Wade rips away at Kofi’s face some more but the champ comes back with a rollup for two and a kick to the face.

Barrett rolls to the floor but as he comes back in, Kofi pounds away on him. This is the Wildcat or whatever Kofi calls himself now. The Boom Drop hits but Barrett blocks the kick and hits Winds of Change for two. Kofi kicks him in the face and hits the cross body off the top for another two. SOS gets two more but a rake to the eyes sets up the Bull Hammer to give Wade the pin at 11:30.

Rating: B-. Solid match here, but man alive is there NO other way to set up a title feud than having the challenger pin the champion? Just say they’re having a title match at the PPV. Seriously just do it that way. Stop having to walk us through everything and just do the match. Let them TALK to each other and have some interaction and then do the freaking match. I assure you it’s not that hard.

We talk about the invading NXT guys along with Brad Maddox, the latter of whom we get a video on.

Punk and Heyman are setting up for the WWE Championship Celebration later. Punk yells at Striker for bringing up Ryback’s name. Heyman says Ryback is invited to the celebration. Punk: “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Aksana tries to hide on the floor but suckers Kaitlyn in for a clothesline. She pounds on Kaitlyn a bit and cranks on the arm over the top rope as you see Del Rio do occasionally. Kaitlyn comes back with some hair throws and a weak gutbuster for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D-. Why in the world is this supposed to interest me? If Kaitlyn is supposed to be the next big thing for the girls, they’re in more trouble than they thought. She’s just not that good and there’s really no other way to spin it. Aksana looks good in the outfits but she’s DEATH in the ring. Nothing to see here.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Truth is at ringside because this is STILL continuing again. Oh and this is non-title because titles aren’t meant to be defended. Brodus pounds on him in the corner followed by Cesaro pounding on Brodus in the corner. Cesaro takes Brodus down and hits a double stomp followed by a cravate. Brodus comes back with a headbutt to the chest and a splash in the corner but a Vader Bomb misses. A European Uppercut off the middle rope sets up the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:30. Clay lost in case you’re freaking stupid and complain about me not making stuff clear enough. Cesaro you, you dumb schmuck. Clear enough for you?

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish stuff. Apparently Cena is the only person to ever fulfill 300 wishes. That’s AMAZING when you think about it. To stretch it out we’ll say he’s been doing this ten years. That’s 30 a year or about one ever 12 days or so. Given his schedule, that’s amazing and it’s likely that it’s a lot tighter than that because he wasn’t a big deal until about 2005.

Vickie is talking to two people in the back. She has more evidence tonight. Oh freaking great.

Here are Vickie and those two people to waste more time and stop the wrestling we had going. Four matches in the first hour including one going over ten minutes isn’t bad at all, but we need THIS now right? She says that she wouldn’t lay a hand on a WWE Superstar but AJ had no reason to try to humiliate her. These people are witnesses apparently. The chick is a waitress at the restaurant where the business dinner took place. Apparently they wanted a private table and were whispering to each other a lot.

The other witness is a parking attendant who saw them in a car together for an hour. What did they do? No idea, but apparently someone came to tell him about what he saw in the car. Cue AJ who at least looks good. AJ says fire her or let it go already because this is stupid. PREACH IT SISTER! Vickie says she has a photo from the guy who claimed to have no idea what was going on.

Before she can show it, here’s Cena who says this is all nonsense. Cena says that Vickie is trying to give people something to talk about, so here’s how you do it. With that, he kisses AJ who seems to like it and kisses him as well as he goes back to talk to Vickie. Ziggler comes out and they brawl up the ramp. Well it’s better than nothing I guess. Cena might have hurt his knee on the way up but from what I can tell this is storyline only.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

This is 2/3 falls because they need something to fill in the three hours. Why this feud is continuing is beyond me but my guess is because the writers aren’t capable of coming up with anything new. Orton takes over with a quick clothesline but Del Rio goes after the arm to take over. Randy snaps off that gorgeous dropkick of his as the fans want an RKO. Instead they get a snap suplex from Del Rio for two.

Lawler talks about Ricardo’s relatives: Jose and Jos-B. Say it out loud and the joke will make sense. Alberto goes after the arm but Orton shoves him away when he tries the armbreaker. Del Rio gets in another shot to the arm and wraps it around the post over and over again, drawing the DQ for the first fall. The crowd is just in love with Orton here.

We take a break and come back Alberto holding a top wristlock and kicking the arm even more. Off to an armbar which Orton suplexes out of and starts his comeback to a big reaction. This is one of the hottest crowds they’ve had in months. Del Rio counters the Elevated DDT and the cross armbreaker ties things up. Del Rio poses a lot instead of staying on Orton as things slow down a bit.

Orton insists he can keep going and gets to his feet to start the third fall. Del Rio plays some cat and mouse as Orton keeps backing away because of the arm. Orton gets that sweet spinning rollup out of the corner for two but Alberto hits him in the arm to stop him dead again. The running kick in the corner gets two but Orton snaps off his backbreaker to slow Alberto down. Rodriguez interferes and is ejected but the distraction lets Del Rio hit the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio coils up for the RKO like Orton but walks into the Elevated DDT. Orton goes for the RKO mat slap but hurts his arm again in a smart move. It makes sense that he would hurt his arm there, which shows thinking. I love that! The armbreaker goes on but Orton grasps his hands to block it into a rollup for two. Del Rio misses another kick and the RKO ends this at 12:44.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where it depends on how you look at it. From a psychology standpoint, it was great with Orton selling the arm VERY well and teasing that he could lose the match because of it. The crowd was way into things too which helped a lot. On the other hand though, what in the world does this prove? The feud should have ended with the falls count anywhere match but instead we get another match with the same ending. It was good, but it’s kind of annoying in the same sense.

We recap the AJ/Cena/Vickie stuff from earlier, because going 20 minutes without hearing about it is too long.

Cena gets his knee looked at and AJ is with him.

Great Khali vs. Primo/Epico

Before the bell here’s Horny to give Rosa some flowers. The cousins have to tag here but the camera is on Horny and Rosa for a good chunk of it. Oh wait the flowers spray Rosa with water. Punjabi Plunge ends Epico at 1:09. This was an angle with a match going on in the background.

Heyman continues his prep for the celebration before FREAKING because there aren’t any balloons.

The Miz vs. David Otunga

Otunga pounds him down with forearms to the back to start and sends Miz shoulder first into the post. A Russian legsweep gets one and Otunga uses some middle rope elbows for two. Off to a chinlock followed by a clothesline and a shoulder block for two for Otunga. Back to the chinlock and we get a mild boring chant. A rollup gets two for Miz as does a clothesline for Otunga. We hit chinlock number three in four minutes but Miz fights out and gets two off a sunset flip. There’s the corner clothesline and the ax handle to set up the Finale to Otunga for the pin at 6:07.

Rating: D+. This was a good idea for Miz to come back like he did, but at the same time it wasn’t much from a technical standpoint. When you have three chinlocks in four minutes, it’s pretty clear you have no idea how to get through a very basic match. Seriously grab an armbar or something. Nothing to see here but Miz getting a clean win is a good thing for him, even over someone like Otunga.

We recap Show vs. Sheamus and the controversial ending from last night.

Another recap shows us what happened so far tonight.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sheamus has the chair with him and says that he’s not smiling after last night. He wants one more match with Show and here’s the champ. Show looks more sleepy than anything else but says that he has nothing left to prove over Sheamus. That’s rather true actually. They yell at each other for awhile and Show says he’s the champion still. Sandow finally cuts them off and we’re ready to go.

Sandow bails to the corner to start and demands that the referee do his job. A single punch puts Damien on the apron and things stay slow. Off to a headlock by Sheamus which also goes nowhere. Sheamus pounds on him in the corner and hits a suplex for two. The pale one works on the arm as the announcers recap the show because the recap before this match wasn’t enough I guess. Sheamus knocks him out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Sandow sending Sheamus’ shoulder into the buckle. Sandow pounds away with the knees to the chest and drops some ax handles for two. We hit the chinlock as Cole and King have some really bad small talk. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow but Sheamus pops up and hits the Irish Curse to put Sandow down. Sheamus comes back with the forearms in the ropes, the top rope shoulder, White Noise and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:25. There was no comeback or anything from Sandow in between. Sheamus really did just hit all of those moves in order for the pin.

Rating: D. How in the world was that fifteen minutes long? This was a very uninteresting match and was yet another match that was just being stretched out for the sake of stretching out a match to fill in the three hours. This is another one of those matches that we’ve seen a few times and it’s gotten progressively worse each time, which is how WWE works today.

AJ comes in to see Tamina and Vickie and nothing happens.

Post break, AJ is storming somewhere with Layla telling her not to do it. AJ goes into the men’s locker room and up to Ziggler. Dolph yells at her and Cena beats Dolph up until Dolph goes after the bad knee.

Post break, we show the same segment from before the break.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. HELL NO

Non-title, again. The Players are on commentary here. Apparently if the masked dudes win, they get a title shot. Cara and Kane start and Kane runs over a jumping Cara before bring in Bryan. The fans continue to be white hot by cheering for Bryan, even as he misses a middle rope knee drop. Off to Rey for the double kicks from the masked men, getting two on Daniel.

Bryan comes back with a kick to Rey but Kane tags himself in to continue one of the worst series in wrestling history. Kane sends him to the floor but gets caught by the seated senton off the apron. Cara dives on Bryan who is on the floor for no apparent reason as we take a break. Back with Kane cranking on Cara’s head but let’s look at the Players talking instead of the match.

Bryan puts the surfboard on Cara as Titus makes fun of Lawler having a heart attack, insisting that he’s not doing any CPR. We debate wash rags for a bit (don’t ask) as Bryan brings in Kane. Back to Bryan for a camel clutch as we talk about healthcare and Robitussin. A tornado DDT puts Bryan down and there’s the tag to Rey. Mysterio gets a kind of reverse DDT on Kane as everything breaks down. Rey dives into an uppercut from Kane for two but there’s the 619 and top rope splash but Kane catches him by the throat. Not that it matters as the Players run in for the DQ at 10:42.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the whole thing wound up meaning nothing. My guess is they’re setting up for a triple threat match at the PPV because we haven’t had one in a full month at that point. HELL NO needs to change things up a bit because they’re still having the same match they’ve had since the team formed, which really shouldn’t shock anyone because no one evolves in WWE, but try to do something new already.

Post match the Players get beaten down.

Heyman promises Punk that no one will interrupt the celebration.

Oh wait we need to show the AJ/Cena stuff AGAIN. As usual, this means showing it for I think the fourth time tonight.

Here’s Heyman in a decorated ring for Punk’s celebration. He wants to know why no one likes them, assuming it may be making fun of Lawler’s heart attack. I begin to love Paul Heyman as he explains how ridiculous fans are for wanting more adult storylines and then saying it’s too far when Heyman fakes a heart attack. Here’s Punk to the ring to talk about people who couldn’t last a year as champion. Names like Bret, Shawn, Undertaker and Rock are mentioned which is pretty good company to be ahead of.

We get a video on Punk and his year as champion which is pretty cool when you think about it. Given how much content there is today, a year is an INSANE amount of time to hold the title. The fans are cheering for Punk when the video ends. Punk talks about being champion until June 25, 2018, which is the 355^th episode of Main Event (“On Ion Television”) when he’ll pass Sammartino’s seven year run.

Heyman talks about how great Bruno was and says he belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame, but says Bruno couldn’t beat Punk. Nor could Hogan or that other Paul Heyman guy, Steve Austin. At the Rumble we’re going to see that Rock couldn’t beat Punk either. This brings out Ryback but the three NXT guys attack him. Ryback fights them off and gets in the ring but the numbers catch up with him. The three guys get him to the floor and hit the triple powerbomb through the table like last night. Punk never touched Ryback and he gets in Ryback’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is your typical Raw anymore: it could have been good but the third hour wound up killing it. Not the final hour mind you, but having an extra sixth minutes throughout the show to fill. This results in a TON of recaps and matches being stretched out for the sake of stretching them out (see Sheamus vs. Sandow). That doesn’t make for a good show, but rather a LONG one. It feels like it never ends and that makes it almost a chore to sit through. This was better than most shows though.

Results

Ryback b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Gutbuster

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Great Khali b. Primo/Epico – Punjabi Plunge to Epico

The Miz b. David Otunga – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

HELL NO vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when the Prime Time Players interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews