NXT
Date: August 14, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

Things are getting better in NXT as we now have a heel champion instead of a face champion that no one can stand. Other than that we have Shield vs. Xavier Woods/Corey Graves/Adrian Neville in what has the potential to be a solid six man tag. The crowd should love the Shield if nothing else. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening, here’s Paul Heyman to get us going. He’s here to look for a new Paul Heyman Guy and is thrilled by what he sees in NXT. Heyman appreciates the ECW chants but he’s here to look for the future rather than to live off the past. In the back, there is the next Paul Heyman, or the next Brock Lesnar, or the next Curtis Axel, the latter of whom comes out to a mixed reaction. Paul talks about how awesome Curtis is and says there’s no one in Florida who can be the next Axel.

This brings out Big E. Langston to a HUGE reaction. He says he’s man enough to take down Axel for the Intercontinental Title but Heyman isn’t pleased. Axel says he’s got this one and agrees to face Langston at say…..Thanksgiving? Or maybe Christmas? Langston cuts him off and says defend it tonight or Axel proves that he’s not good enough to hang here in NXT. That’s enough for Axel to accept the challenge and we’re on.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Axel pounds away at Langston’s head and speeds things up, only to be caught in a nice looking belly to belly suplex. Curtis is sent to the floor and we take a break with Heyman yelling OH MY GOD at Langston’s strength. Back with Big E. holding a chinlock and hitting five big punches to the ribs.

Axel gets in a kick to the gut and a clothesline to the back of the head to put Langston down. A quick dropkick gets no cover and a big THANK YOU PAUL chant breaks out. Another dropkick gets two and we hit the front facelock. Langston easily powers out and fires off a series of clotheslines and knee lifts before running Axel over. There go the straps but Heyman comes in for the DQ at 4:38 shown of 8:08.

Rating: C-. This was fine. We certainly won’t going to get a title change here but the crowd was WAY into Langston and Axel got in enough offense to not look like a joke. Big E. can hold his own in the ring and is looking like a more well rounded worker every time he’s out there. That’s very impressive given that he’s only 27 and has only been in wrestling for a few years.

Post match Langston goes after Heyman but Axel makes the save. Curtis loads up a belt shot but walks into the Big Ending for the five count.

Sami Zayn says he’s got a long running issue with Bo Dallas but now he’s got to deal with Cesaro and Colter accusing him of being an Arab or an evil French Canadian. He thinks the moment that tipped them off was when he spoke Arabic or when he announced himself as being from Montreal. At the same time though, he challenged Cesaro to a match over a month ago but hasn’t heard back. Zayn will up the ante though: we can make it 2/3 falls.

Mason Ryan vs. Scott Dawson

Dawson gets in his face to start but gets crushed into the corner. As the beating continues here are Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy for a distraction, allowing Dawson to get in some cheap shots. Not that it matters as Mason’s cobra clutch slam is good for the pin at 1:30.

Ryan cleans house after the match.

Women’s Title: Paige vs. Summer Rae

This was supposed to be Emma’s title shot but Summer beat her down last week and gets the shot instead. They fight over a lockup to start and Paige gets a quick two off a cross body. Paige throws her across the ring and stomps Summer down in the corner, only to be slammed face first onto the mat via a caught boot.

In a unique move, Summer puts Paige’s head between her (Summer’s) legs with Paige on her knees (think a victory roll position but on the mat) and slams Paige face first into the mat before turning her over into a rollup for two. A monkey flip gets two for the challenger and Summer cranks on a headlock. Paige drives her into the corner to escape and catches Summer’s boot in a nice callback. The Paige Turner is good for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. This was short but it worked well enough. I’m assuming they’re setting up for Emma vs. Paige as a big match which is fine, but the bait and switch isn’t NXT’s normal style. Summer’s in ring work isn’t all that great but she’s far better in the ring than someone like Aksana. Paige was her usual good self here.

AJ says she’s defending the title against someone next week but she isn’t sure who it’s going to be. It could be anyone from the boom mic operator to her mom to Renee Young. Bayley comes up behind her and gives her a big hug. She’s REALLY excited to see AJ and apparently has been following her all day. Bayley would like the title shot and thinks they’re friends, but they’ll be even BETTER friends after the title match. AJ gets another big hug and gives a look that says she’s admitting defeat in the battle of the crazies.

Dolph Ziggler will be here next week.

During the break Emma attacked Summer Rae. A ticked off Emma could be interesting.

Shield vs. Corey Graves/Adrian Neville/Xavier Woods

Graves vs. Rollins gets us going with Corey sending him right back into the corner for a meeting with the Shield. Seth charges in for an armdrag but Graves keeps rolling through and armdrags Corey down instead. Off to Neville for a dropkick to the knee and one to the chest for two before the tag is made to Woods. Things speed up a bit and Woods snaps off a headscissors for two. The NXT guys keep up the frequent tags with Graves cranking away on Seth’s arm. The arm is quickly dropped in favor of the leg but Rollins bails to the floor, allowing Woods and Neville to hit stereo dives on Shield as we take a break.

Back with Reigns headbutting Woods down and stomping him down in the Shield corner. Off to the US Champion for some trash talk and right hands to Woods’ afro. Xavier backflips out of a belly to back suplex and there’s the not yet hot tag to Graves. A quick chop block sets up Lucky 13 but Rollins makes the save. Reigns comes in to pound away and hits a great standing falcon’s arrow for two. Back to Seth to crank on the arm for a bit before making a blind tag off to Reigns. Graves doesn’t see the tag and tries a sunset flip on Rollins, allowing Roman to get in a hard cheap shot.

Back to Ambrose for more trash talk as the fast Shield tags continue. A snap suplex puts Graves back in the wrong corner before Reigns comes back in. Corey kicks away at Roman’s knee from the mat but there’s almost no effect. Graves is shoved into the corner and gets a burst of energy to fight his way out.

The hot tag brings in Neville to speed things up and an enziguri puts Dean down. He gets the knees up to block the Red Arrow though and makes a tag off to Rollins. Adrian flips out of a German suplex and tags in Woods who gets two off a high cross body. A kick to Seth’s head and a quick downward spiral gets two. The It’s Morphin Time clothesline gets two as well but Reigns makes the diving save.

Neville hurricanranas Reigns to the floor and Ambrose suplexes Graves to the floor. Woods loads up a superplex but Rollins counters into a sunset bomb. Xavier holds the ropes but Reigns makes a blind tag and punches Woods to break his grip on the ropes. Rollins hits the Buckle Bomb and the spear from Reigns is enough to pin Woods at 14:07 shown of 16:52.

Rating: B+. Cut two minutes or so out of the middle and this is a classic. This was in the old vein of Shield matches with the last second saves and perfectly planned out insanity and it’s still awesome. The NXT guys got a solid rub here as they got to put Shield to a good test. The ending never really was in doubt, but they had me wondering there for a few seconds, which is a sign of a good match.

Cesaro accepts Zayn’s challenge for the 2/3 falls match next week. He promises to beat Zayn so bad but Sami jumps him to start a brawl. They’re pulled apart and Cesaro channels his inner James Kirk by shouting ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYN to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Solid show here with a great main event and some good stuff leading up to it. NXT does a great job at incorporating the main show guys into the fold and the shows benefit a lot from it. At the end of the day though, the NXT guys are the stars of the show and that’s the important idea. The Zayn vs. Cesaro match has the potential to be amazing so things are looking up for next week.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Paul Heyman interfered

Mason Ryan b. Scott Dawson – Cobra clutch slam

Paige b. Summer Rae – Paige Turner

Shield b. Xavier Woods/Corey Graves/Adrian Neville – Spear to Woods

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Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope

This is what you get for saying you’ll review almost anything. This is Juggalo Championship Wrestling, which is the Insane Clown Posse’s company. If you don’t know who they are, they’re a band who dresses like clowns and are incredibly controversial for their lyrics and all that jazz. They’re also huge wrestling fans and got into both the WWF and WCW on their star power. They wrestled some matches and it became clear they had the talent of your average backyard wrestler. Naturally WCW had plans on making one of them Cruiserweight Champion because that’s what WCW does.

Now one thing to note: there are actual wrestlers here. It isn’t just ICP and their friends having bad matches. There are names on here like Rhyno, Raven, Nick Dinsmore (Eugene), X-Pac and Vampiro. Also I have no idea who any of these musicians are, nor do I care to know. Other than that I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

Some guy in a JCW shirt comes out to open the show. Apparently his name is Kevin Gill. He intros the show and the people are SILENT. The audio on this show sucks so far. The main event is Corporal Robinson, who apparently has been champion for about 40% of the company’s existence, defending against Vampiro. He introduces his broadcasting partners and the audio gets a lot louder.

A DJ plays some music.

Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.

Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.

Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks

The name graphics are backwards at first. The announcers keep talking over the ring announcer. Martel is the Superstar, so you can tell he’s important. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks is looking like a pimp here. From what I can find on the internet, his name is Sal so we’ll go with that. Apparently Sal lost a loser leaves town match a few weeks/months ago but put on a mask and won a match to get back on this show.

Bill slaps him to start but gets slapped right back. Sal takes him to the mat and hits a low dropkick to the head before pulling out….a marshmallow? Oh it was a tampon which he puts in Bill’s mouth. How long is this show again? Martel takes him down again and the audio screws up again. Martel misses a middle rope elbow and Sal clotheslines him down for two. They head to the corner with Sal hitting a tornado DDT and rolling through into a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Martel gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin. This should have been a dark match.

We recap the next tag match. Weed Man (exactly what it sounds like) lost a match to Officer Colt Cabana and had to become Cabana’s deputy. Weed Man wasn’t happy with it and had to help Cabana go after 2 Tuff Tony who is an alcoholic. Finally the drug addict turned on the cop and helped the alcoholic. Cabana brought in US Marshall Adam Pearce and we’ve got a tag match, albeit with Pearce/Cabana vs. Tony and a mystery partner.

The announcers talk but we hear music.

Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???

Commentary is back now but the theme music is still drowning it out. The camera stays on the commentators as we can hear stuff going on in the ring. Even Shaggy and Kevin are asking why they’re being shown. Apparently the show didn’t get going until sometime between 1:30 and 3:30am. No wonder the fans aren’t caring that much. After Tony gives the fans liquor for a few minutes, Weed Man runs in and says he’s the partner of Tony. That’s not exactly shocking given the story. He takes his mask off which is a big deal apparently but it doesn’t get a big reaction. No one knows who he is so what was the point?

Tony and Cabana start things off with Tony controlling the arm early on. Off to Weed Man who stays on the arm while the announcers say he looks like a typical stoner. Cabana punches him down and it’s off to Pearce with a top rope splash for two. Weed Man does a Flair Flip in the corner and is clotheslined off the apron. Cabana rams Weed Man into the steps and Weed Man is busted.

Pearce works on the cut and does the clap non-tag to Cabana. A sunset flip gets two for Weed and we’re already at the main issue with this show: the wrestling is ok at its very best. Weed Man isn’t that good and he’s doing nothing but basics. Anyway it’s off to Pearce as the beating continues. Oh wait let’s look at the commentators again. Pearce goes up and gets crotched and superplexed down.

There’s the hot tag to Tony who cleans house as the announcers make gay jokes about Cabana. Tony hits a kick to the face of Pearce for two and a Lionsault to Cabana gets no cover. Instead of covering, Tony covers his hand in alcohol and tries to light it on fire, but Pearce throws a fire extinguisher at it. Cabana hits Tony with a nightstick for two as Weed Man dives through the ropes onto Pearce. Tony trips Cabana down and a double stomp from Weed Man gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was one of the main events? If that’s the case this show is in big trouble. This was a run of the mill tag match and not a lot came from it. Cabana and Pearce are talented guys but they need something better than these two for opponents to have a good match. I get that Weed Man and Tony are popular, but they’re not that talented. That’s one of the mistakes ECW made: they would have guys in there to pop the live crowd but it did nothing for the masses. Now that being said, this is a far different kind of company than ECW was so it’s a lot more understandable here.

Cabana arrests Weed Man for taking his mask off. A guy who is apparently the owner of the land this show is happening on says Cabana has no authority here because it’s private property. Weed Man has to be uncuffed and security comes out remove Cabana who shouts about Rodney King. Tony and Weed Man celebrate with the fans.

We recap Zach Gowen vs. Eugene. Gowen has one leg and Eugene (spelled U-Gene here for the sake of copyright infringement but I’m calling him Eugene because it really makes no difference) was really protective of him. Eugene tried to use brass knuckles to win the tag titles but Gowen didn’t want them that way. Eugene was offended and turned on him, setting up this match. Simple story and that’s fine.

U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen

Eugene takes the only leg out but Gowen can fight well on the mat and escapes. Eugene keeps asking for a test of strength but Gowen will have none of that. Back to the mat but Gowen kicks him to the floor. Eugene is still slow so this is a battle of the handicaps. Back in and Gowen gets down in a crouch which freaks Eugene out. Gowen is very quick on the mat so Eugene gets on top of him. A dropkick puts Eugene on the floor and he’s getting very frustrated. He seems to be the heel here.

Back in and Gowen is slammed into the mat for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eugene uses the classic invisible foreign object to pound away. The commentators debate what country the object is from and continue to get on my nerves. Eugene puts on a half crab, which may be a full crab in Gowen’s case, followed by a giant swing. Eugene loads up what looks like a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Gowen escapes into a powerbomb for no cover.

A Blockbuster gets two for Gowen but Eugene comes back with an airplane spin. Given that it’s an airplane spin, we get the required ref bump as Gowen is being spun around. Gowen takes Eugene down and this a moonsault but there’s no ref. As Zach wakes the referee up, Eugene blasts Gowen with the foreign object for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s amazing what you do when you get seasons pros in the ring. Eugene was always talented and he could make the gimmick work well as he tweaked it enough to make it different at different times. When you take Gowen out of the main event scene of WWE PPVs, he’s a lot less annoying. Decent match here which is probably going to be the high point.

The referee sees the object and reverses the decision. Eugene snaps and destroys Gowen with Gowen’s cane. The referee was busted open in there somewhere too.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

We recap Richie Boy Breyer Wellington vs. his Butler Geeves. Wellington was going to try to steal the world title but Geeves wound up sneaking in and taking it. 2 Tuff Tony won the belt before Geeves could lay down for Wellington so Wellington and his manager Truth Martini brought in Geeves’ wife Mrs. Geeves before the match tonight. Tonight, the winner gets Mrs. Geeves and the loser has to fight Tank Abbott for five minutes.

Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves

Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.

The guys in the ring are doing nothing beyond basics so far. A butterfly suplex gets two for Wellington and it’s off to a surfboard hold on Geeves. Wellington hits a Backstabber for two. At least I think it was two, as we were looking at the announcers again. Geeves makes a comeback and grabs a rollup for two but walks into a modified Cradle Shock (Sabin’s AA move) for two. Some chick comes out and flashes Wellington, giving Geeves a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull and the comeback came so fast that there wasn’t a chance for the crowd to get into it. The girl I guess is replacing Mrs. Geeves for her husband, but he gets them both due to the stipulations. That’s not a bad way to go and I guess now we get the Tank Abbott stuff. Pretty terrible match though.

Geeves says he doesn’t want his wife’s services anymore in a pretty decent promo.

No Abbott stuff for the moment.

Here’s Commissioner Violent J. He plays to the crowd a bit and the fans chant Bruce (his real name). As with everything else tonight, you can barely understand him. He says not to review the show if you’re not observing them. That clears me I guess. Apparently only Juggalos can review these shows. I’m out then. He talks about what you should do and this goes nowhere. We get a King Kong Bundy reference for no apparent reason.

J talks about a guy who is here after not being around for awhile. The fans chant for Evil Dead, who was a corpse that won the first JCW Championship. He had a big advantage because he was death and therefore couldn’t feel pain. More on that later. Evil Dead is the first inductee into the JCW Hall of Fame, and there is no truth to the speculation that it’s just J’s brother in a rubber mask.

Evil Dead comes out and falls down the ramp because he doesn’t have many leg muscles left. He has a note in his hand as he stands on the middle rope. J reads his speech which talks about eating people. Dead falls off the ropes, gets tied up in the ropes, falls to the floor, and finally leaves with J. This ran 13 minutes, or longer than all but one match tonight.

The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

And now the feed goes off for a bit. It wouldn’t feel right if that didn’t happen.

We recap Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong which is basically a battle of monsters colliding. It’s No DQ either.

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.

Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.

We recap the women’s three way. There’s something about training and throwing in a towel and I really don’t care.

Brittany Force vs. Amber O’Neal vs. Ring Girl Randy

Amber is billed as being from Heaven. That’s kind of awesome. The announcers say they hope it turns into lesbianism. Well why bother to just hint at it I guess? Anyway Amber tries to leave but the other two pull her back in and beat her to the floor. Randy hits a Samoan Drop on Force to send Brittany to the floor, followed by a big dive to take Brittany out. Amber sends Randy into the post so let’s look at the announcers.

Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.

Scratch that as she’s already back out. Amber puts a chinlock on Force for about 10 seconds, followed by a Stink Face. Force avoids a charge and hits a Downward Spiral on Amber and Randy finally gets back in. A facejam from Force gets two on Amber, but Randy comes in and hits a reverse DDT on Force for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was your usual three way with the person who looked to be losing the entire time coming out of nowhere for the surprise pin. That’s always annoying as it’s such a played out idea that as soon as Randy kept getting knocked to the floor I knew she was going to win. Nothing to see here but Amber is good looking so it helps.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.

We recap Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro. They were friends, Vampiro came into the ring when Robinson won his fourth title and kicked Robinson’s head off. This is something about Robinson proving himself, despite having two title reigns that have gone over two years already. Robinson says this is his life, unlike Vampiro where it’s like the fourth biggest thing on his list. Vampiro says that’s exactly like ICP and they’re doing fine. Both of these guys are in the Juggalo World Order which is the big stable which hasn’t been mentioned until this promo.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen but it’s nothing I’d ever want to see more of. JCW started off as basically a parody of wrestling with things like the announcers saying this match sucks so let’s watch a different one and then they would actually change over to another match or the ICP declaring themselves the winners because they own the company and they’ll fire anyone that beats them. Instead this was just a run of the mill indy show with absolutely nothing memorable or different at all. That being said, the show cost five bucks so it’s really hard to complain.

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That’s rather cool.  It takes a lot of guts to do this in a sport like wrestling.

By the way, do not post any homophobic/gay bashing comments on this.  I’ll delete them immediately.

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

Today I hit 1 million views.  I can’t believe I actually reached that point and thank you all for continuing to check out my stuff.  I’ll be here as long as you guys keep reading me.  Thanks again.

KB

Apparently it’s a possibility.  I sit through that show for years now and THIS is my reward?

Seriously though, WWE does NOT need more television.  If they want Smackdown to look like a bigger deal, stop making its wrestlers jobbers to the stars for the Raw guys.  Bad idea all around.

Monday Nitro #132
Date: March 23, 1998
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The main story for tonight is the return of Roddy Piper, although I’m not sure how many people were asking for him back. We’re coming up on Spring Stampede and the main event has been announced as Sting defending the title against Randy Savage. In theory that’s the main event at least as Hogan might have some match that needs to go on last instead. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Piper right off the bat to get things going. He’s been pontificating on a mountain in Oregon (their words not mine) and is now back as a consultant. I’ll leave out the ridiculously lame Louisville Slugger puns for the sake of my readers. In honor of being in Louisville, he announces the first baseball bat match at Spring Stampede between himself and Giant vs. Hogan/Nash.

As for tonight it’s Giant vs. Nash and Piper vs. Savage, which would have been awesome ten years earlier. Apparently Giant is in the back eating bacon, eggs and midgets so he can smash Nash. Piper talks about being a psycho because he was in Alcatraz. Did we ever need to bring that up again?

Nitro Girls.

Sting defends against Page tonight. That’s a pretty big match for free.

We see the DDP on MTV clip from Thunder with Raven attacking him and stealing the US Title.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon

Tony is already hyping up the rest of the show and ignoring the match. Dragon hits a quick handspring elbow to knock Chavo to the floor followed by a nice dive. Back in and Chavo grabs a quick chinlock but Dragon elbows out and hits a standing Lionsault for two. Chavo gets a near fall of his own off a German suplex as this is going VERY fast so far. A northern lights suplex gets two more for Chavo but he gets crotched on the top to slow the momentum. Chavo gets down and tries to suplex Dragon in from the apron, only to get caught in the Dragon Sleeper for the submission. Short match but very fast paced stuff.

Post match Eddie rips into Chavo for not winning like he told his nephew to do. Chavo needs to apologize to Grandma RIGHT NOW.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan says he’s not afraid of Piper or Giant, bat or not. Larry: “I’m already bored.” Piper comes out a few seconds later and asks Hogan about the bat match. Hollywood agrees on behalf of himself and Nash because Rupert Murdoch, a guy trying to buy the LA Dodgers, has been asking him for tips on how to swing a bat.

Hogan says he’s always the champion but has to stop for a YOU SUCK chant. Hogan talks about the fans liking Piper’s legs in his sisters “itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot mini skirt.” He says he and Nash are going to take out Giant tonight, apparently meaning it’s a handicap match tonight.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Scott Steiner vs. Wayne Bloom

Scott immediately drops to the floor to talk about arm size with Buff. Back in and Steiner easily takes Bloom to the mat with an amateur move. The bicep curl into the elbow drop sets up the pushups as Steiner is dominating. Bloom gets up a boot in the corner and he hits an atomic drop for his jobber offense. A snap suplex gets two but Bloom ducks his head and gets caught in the butterfly powerbomb. Steiner hits a middle rope Samoan Drop and the Recliner is good for the submission. Squash.

Some Kentucky Wildcats are here. It’s the day after their historic comeback win over Duke so they’re the talk of the college basketball world. I remember the theme for Midnight Madness (the first practice of the year which is always televised) was WWF. The players all had ring introductions and some came out with belts.

More Nitro Girls.

Lodi vs. Psychosis

Lodi grabs a headlock to start, showing off something about Rush on his back. The fans are all over Lodi and Psychosis takes his head off with a clothesline for two. Lodi gets in some shots to take over but spends too much time on the top, allowing Psychosis to dropkick him to the floor. A BIG dive off the top, similar to a Whisper in the Wind, takes Lodi down and the guillotine legdrop is good for the pin back inside. Another short match but that dive looked good.

Hour #2 begins.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is US Champion and challenging but for the sake of clarity I’ll only refer to Sting as champion. The name plate on Sting’s belt is still blank. Tony thinks this is Page’s biggest match ever. Careful out on that limb Tony. They lock up to start and fall to the floor without breaking contact. Back in and the champion cranks on the arm but Page comes back with the driving shoulders. Sting gets two off a rollup and tries an early Scorpion to no avail.

The champion tries the hold again but Page quickly makes a rope and it’s a standoff. Page blocks a hiptoss and gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. The Diamond Cutter is blocked and it’s another standoff. Page fires off elbows in the corner and gets two off the Pancake. We hit the chinlock on the champion with Page cranking on it. Back up and Page rains down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first on the buckle. A shot to Page’s head gets two and the champion hooks a chinlock of his own.

They’re going for the epic showdown style here and it’s working as well as it can for a Nitro in late March from Louisville to start the second hour. The hold stays on for a good while and the crowd calms down a lot. After over ninety seconds in the hold Page fights up but gets caught by a jumping clothesline.

Page comes back with a belly to belly suplex but Sting backdrops out of another Pancake attempt. They slug it out with Sting taking over and hitting his hair grab bulldog for two. Another bulldog sets up the top rope splash but Page gets his knees up. Page throws Sting in the corner and pounds away but Sting blocks a pair of Diamond Cutter attempt and grabs Page’s head for the Death Drop to retain.

Rating: B. Cut the chinlocks down by a minute or so and this is bordering on a classic. This is exactly what WCW was needing around this time (in the short term at least): a good wrestling match with the champion giving a rub to an upper midcard guy. At the end of the day, when all else fails, have a good wrestling match and a lot of your problems will fade away for a little bit.

Sting helps Page to his feet and does the Diamond Cutter sign. Nice touch.

Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Lex Luger vs. Rick Fuller

Fuller is a big guy with a good look but almost nothing to back it up. How did Vince let a guy like that slip under his nose? They shove each other around to start but stereo shoulder blocks send neither guy anywhere. Fuller clubs Luger in the back to take over and follows up with a big clothesline and some choking. An elbow drop gets two and here’s Luger’s comeback. He fires off the clotheslines, atomic drops and the forearm to set up the Rack for the submission.

Rating: D+. I know there’s such a thing as formulas for wrestlers and it’s time for Luger to change his. Every week that goes by drags him further and further into a pit of dullness which looks to have no escape. There’s just nothing new to see here and the Racks on the big guys are getting less and less interesting each time.

Heenan is on commentary now.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Eddie Guerrero

Chavo is here for support. He holds the ropes open for Eddie so Eddie jumps over the top. When Eddie is being a jerk no one can touch him. Fast paced start with Eddie hitting a jumping back elbow and a high angle suplex for two. In an impressive move, Kaz goes up top for a moonsault press but Eddie dropkicks him out of the air.

Hayashi throws him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to put Eddie down. A missile dropkick gets two for Kaz so he goes up again, only to jump into a backbreaker from Eddie. Guerrero rakes the eyes with his boot and gets two off a pumphandle backbreaker. A superplex sets up the frog splash for the pin on Kaz.

Rating: C. Decent stuff here with Kaz doing the flips and Eddie supplying the good wrestling and heelish actions. It’s nice to see an interesting story like this with two talented guys like the Guerreros. The story works well and it lets Eddie show off a bit which he hasn’t gotten to do in far too long.

Post match Chavo checks on Kaz and gets yelled at by Eddie.

Profile on Bret Hart. The guy has been around for over four months and he’s had what, three matches? This company really was clueless.

Konnan vs. Prince Iaukea

Before the match we get a video on Konnan which is a highlight package, mainly of him beating up Norman Smiley. Prince speeds things up to start and knocks Konnan out to the floor. Back in and Konnan hits his rolling lariat and a basement dropkick as Heenan talks about Okerlund doing a luau. Off to a leg pull from Konnan (think a half crab but with Konnan laying on his back and pulling up) followed by a DDT for no cover. Konnan pulls on his pants a lot and puts on a kneeling half crab. Is sitting up really that hard for him?

A suplex gets two for Konnan and he strikes on Iaukea in the corner. Konnan hooks up a very interesting looking submission where he starts with a Sharpshooter leg tie up but intertwines Prince’s arm and bends the legs back while standing instead of turning over. Even Tenay has no idea what to call it. The hold doesn’t last long and he opts for a release German suplex for no cover.

Off to a lame Fujiwara armbar before just ramming Prince’s face into the mat over and over again. They run the ropes and botch….something before trading some awkward looking rollups for two each. Konnan’s 187 is countered into a northern lights suplex for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. There were some interesting moves in there but the last minute or so was really sloppy stuff. It was like the wheels were starting to fall off the match so they just went home immediately. Iaukea continues to be nothing special at all but for some reason he continues to be pushed on television over and over.

Here’s Jericho with something to say. Jericho cheers for Stanford before they play Kentucky in the basketball tournament. I’m surprised that didn’t get a face pop given the hatred between Louisville and Kentucky. He keeps going until Lenny Lane comes out, saying Jericho owes him $1000 for the shenanigans with Dean Malenko a few weeks ago on Thunder. Jericho says Lane stole all the stuff from his bag and his Loverboy tape is missing too. Lane owes Jericho $1000 for the smell in his gear. He says to let him have it and you know what’s coming.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Lenny Lane

Jericho is in trouble after getting popped in the face and Lane gets a quick backdrop for two. The champion comes right back with a shot to the face and is still in the Monday Night Jericho shirt. Lane counters the Liontamer into a rollup for two followed by a Skull Crushing Finale (which Jericho would later use as the Breakdown) for the same. Lenny tries to jump over Jericho in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam, setting up the Liontamer to retain the title.

Third hour begins.

The Giant vs. Kevin Nash/Hollywood Hogan

Hogan is the shortest guy in this match. He starts with Giant as Tony explains that this is a handicap match because of the NWO winning at Fall Brawl a few years ago. Wasn’t it at Uncensored last year where they gained power? Eh I can’t complain as it’s a miracle that they mentioned it at all. Hogan can’t slam Giant and is thrown around with ease. Giant takes him into the corner for a hard chop and stomps him down in another corner.

Hogan bails to the floor for advice from Bischoff before coming back in with a knee to the ribs. Giant is staggered and Hogan takes over, only to get caught in a a backbreaker to send him to the floor. Back in and Hogan makes the tag off to Nash who pounds on Giant like he’s not even there. You know, the guy that had Nash running away just eight days ago. Giant reverses a whip and sends him into the corner for a clothesline and a headbutt. Hogan comes in to help out but Giant shrugs them off. Disciple comes in and it’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t anything special and the ending isn’t all that surprising. I’m wondering when if ever Nash is going to do the job for Giant. The heat is off the feud at this point and there’s little for Giant to gain by beating him now, which was probably Nash’s idea when the whole thing started. Match was nothing of note but Giant throwing people around was fun to see as usual.

Disciple tries to Stun Giant but the big man just stands there with a funny look on his face. Bischoff tries to come in and gets chokeslammed to death.

More Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

So Benoit loses to Norton on Thunder and gets a title match as a result? Booker starts with a headlock and runs Benoit over until Chris comes back with some HARD chops. Back up and Booker snaps off a powerslam to get a breather. They fight over a test of strength but Benoit bridges up, only to be kicked in the head to put him back down. Booker hits a big clothesline but has to block a German suplex attempt.

The second try is more successful and Benoit stomps away at Booker before elbowing him down for two. We hit the chinlock on the champion but he fights up and hits a flapjack to put Benoit down. The Spinarooni sets up the side kick but Benoit breaks up the missile dropkick. A superplex from the Canadian puts both guys down and it’s time to roll some Germans. It takes awhile for both guys to get up and Booker scores first with a spinebuster for a delayed two. Booker misses the side kick and hits the ropes to give Benoit a breather. They chop it out and the time limit runs out at about seven and a half minutes. Booker retains.

Rating: B-. The match was great and at least benoit didn’t lose. I’d assume this sets up a rematch at Spring Stampede with no time limit so Benoit can lose on a bigger stage. Again though, why have him lose to Scott Norton when you have him go straight into a title program after coming off another title program? It’s almost like they have no idea where they’re going with this.

Curt Hennig vs. Jim Neidhart

Rick Rude takes over Tenay’s spot at the announce table for this match. Bulldog shoves him off the ropes and runs him over. Hennig’s monkey flip is avoided via a cartwheel before he accepts a test of strength for some reason. Heenan is sucking up to Rude as only the Brain can. A clothesline takes Hennig down for two and Rude leaves. Heenan under his breath: “What a jerk.” We take a break and come back with Bulldog hitting the powerslam but having to go after Rude and getting handcuffed for the DQ. Not long enough to rate but it was just there to set up the post match stuff.

Bulldog is handcuffed to the ropes until Bret Hart remembers he works here and comes out for the save. Bret cleans house as Doug Dillinger gets the cuffs unlocked. Hart talks about being screwed (yes, again) and says he isn’t going to allow that to happen to anyone here.

Goldberg vs. Renegade

Interesting note: Renegade comes out to Marc Mero’s theme music from the WWF. It’s not a similar song. It’s the EXACT same music. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a song go from company to company like that other than a few commercial/public domain songs. Renegade hits a cartwheel elbow in the corner and turns around for the spear and Jackhammer to make Goldberg 60-0.

Randy Savage vs. Roddy Piper

Piper charges into the ring but Liz grabs him by the ankle. Roddy pounds away on Savage anyway and whips him with the belt as Heenan mentions the cage match that set this up five months ago. Savage is sent to the floor so Piper can disrobe in peace. Piper whips him over the barricade for a bit before ripping up the floor mats. Liz rakes Roddy’s back to break up the piledriver on the floor, earning her a kiss. Savage gets in a single shot but gets caught in a sleeper back inside. Liz is knocked off the apron as Randy breaks up the hold with a jawbreaker. Here’s the NWO as the match just kind of ends.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a bad wild brawl but it wasn’t anything more. I know Piper was a huge deal about ten years before this, but is he really a big enough deal in 1998 to have him come in cold and beat the tar out of the #1 contender for a few minutes? Not much to see here, as is the norm for Nitro main events.

Hogan yells at Nash for not hitting Piper and takes the bat, only to miss Savage. Cue Sting with a bat of his own but Savage jumps Sting from behind. Giant comes in and takes both bats to run the NWO off. About a minute and a half of replays take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. You could tell they were starting to feel the heat from the WWF at this point given how stacked they made this show. The wrestling on here was better than Nitro has had in a long time and it made the show a lot easier to get through. I don’t get the lack of follow up on Goldberg attacking the NWO, but I’d guess it was because they needed to focus on Piper instead of Goldberg, because if one guy is your future in 1998, it’s Roddy Piper. Good show this week but again it needed to be an hour shorter.

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I don’t know who made this but it’s awesome.

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

Hard Justice 2006
Date: August 13, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

This is at the other end of the spectrum for TNA as the next show in 2005 was Unbreakable and that’s the last TNA show I’m going to be doing. The show looks very different now and in a good way for the most part I think. The main event here is Jarrett vs. Sting for the title (shocking) and there’s also AJ/Daniels vs. LAX which is usually good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how good and evil are eternal rivals which is what they’re trying to push Jarrett vs. Sting as. They’ve feuded on and off over the years but eternal rivals? No. Just no. What this has to do with justice is beyond me.

Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine

Johnny is part of Paparazzi Productions. This is when Eric is all paranoid about getting fired so he’s trying to get all the fans he can behind him, meaning he’s got a parade of people after him chanting DON’T FIRE ERIC! Devine says Eric is going to choke under the pressure. Eric knocks him back and then gives him a hug as we get going. Devine punches him down and drops a few knees to the head.

We get a pretty sweet move as Devine is sent into the corner and tries to jump over Eric off the bottom rope but instead shifts in mid air into a reverse DDT. Then things get interesting as a legitimate fire breaks out in the rafters and the ring fills up with fire extinguisher spray. You can see the flames through the fog which is a little scary.

Devine suplexes him down and misses a springboard moonsault. The idiot fans chant “You can’t see us.” Eric gets a good powerbomb as the smoke is clearing out. Top rope elbow gets two. A sunset flip by Eric is countered but he gets Devine in a wheelbarrow position and flips him into a neckbreker for the pin.

Rating: C. All things considered, this wasn’t bad. Young had become a hit with the fans at this point as the paranoid guy that everyone loved, as opposed to now when he’s done the same schtick for over a year without ever really changing anything. The fire extinguisher stuff wasn’t their fault and to their credit they kept right at it which was impressive.

Earl Hebner runs out and chokes Mark Johnson for some reason. He’s mad about being fired and says that if he’s going down, Jarrett’s going down with him. Ok then.

We run down the rest of the card.

We see Jarrett arriving earlier with his second, Scott Steiner. Sting and Christian got here earlier today too.

We recap the four way tag match which is AMW, the James Gang, the Naturals and Bentley/Kazarian which I think is a #1 contenders match. I don’t think this needs much of a recap. All of them want the titles and have been fighting over who should get it.

First though we have to replace the mat because of all of the fire extinguisher stuff on it. What’s the right word for that anyway? Foam? Spray? Anyway Don and Mike talk about the fourway to fill in time.

Now we recap Sting’s career in TNA. He came back in January of 2006, had a tag match and said he was gone. Jarrett said he didn’t think Sting was gone so he sent the Pararazzi to film Sting at home, which ticked Sting off. He came back as Steve Borden to beat up Jarrett and then a month later as Sting. Steiner came in the next month to beat up Sting so Sting brought in Joe to beat up Jarrett but for some reason they switched his friend to Christian and sent Joe to the midcard again. Jarrett got the title back at Slammiversary and this would all set up tonight.

We come back to a sign saying technical difficulties, please stand by.

Here’s the same Sting video that just aired.

Tenay and Borash are in the back and we’re told that the fire marshall has evacuated the building and are testing everything before we continue the PPV. We look at the fire breaking out in the opening match. West comes in and says the people are being allowed back in now. To be clear, this isn’t something that can be held against TNA. It was an accident and who knows whose call it was that the building had to be cleared out. That could be building policy, local or state law or maybe even something else.

Tenay and West hype up the rest of the card to fill in more time. Eric Young comes up and wants to make sure that he’s not being blamed for the fire. Monty Brown says he’s going to blaze everyone in his triple threat match. This is about as good as they’re going to get for filling time which is ok. Also points to Brown and Tenay for doing this on the fly. It drags on too long and Brown runs out of insults. The fans are coming back in as Tenay helps Brown out by saying the winner could get a possible title match. Shane Douglas comes up to complain about life in general. His team is with him and he talks about them a bit at the end.

JB is with Alex Shelley who is replacing Kevin Nash in the X-Division match tonight. Nash has a bad neck apparently. Devine wheels in Nash in a wheelchair and a neckbrace. Nash tells Shelley to go to war and takes the brace off to give Shelley his dog tags. As little sense as this whole angle would wind up making, it was pretty funny.

Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin

The winner is #1 contender to the X Title. Feeling out process to start and it’s exactly what you would expect from the Guns in a singles match against each other. Shelley charges into a boot in the corner and Sabin hits a missile dropkick for two. Sabin loads up a Jackknife and does the Wolfpac sign before hitting the powerbomb. Shelley comes back with a bulldog and a Lionsault for two.

Sabin sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take both guys down. Back in the ring and Sabin goes off with the kicks, followed by a springboard guillotine legdrop for two. Sabin loads up a tornado DDT but Shelley comes back with a middle rope atomic drop. Into a modified crossface but Sabin makes the rope.

Sabin gets Shelley into the Tree of Woe and hits the hesitation dropkick followed by a freaky spinning DDT for two. Sabin loads up something in the corner but Alex rolls off the corner and rolls forward into a Backstabber off the middle rope. Cool. Shellshock gets two and Nash puts a chair in the ring. Sliced Bread onto the chair is countered and Sabin kicks it into Shelley’s face. Cradle Shock gets the pin.

Rating: B-. As you would expect, these two put on an entertaining match. It’s easy to see why these two would be put together as a team because they compliment each other so well. The Nash stuff was part of a bigger story which I’m still not sure I get all of but it was entertaining which makes it ok.

Mitchell and Abyss aren’t worried about Brother Runt and say he’s doomed. Runt has been listening to Raven apparently and Raven has been telling Runt fairy tales.

We recap Runt vs. Abyss. The Dudleys had left for awhile to heal up and told Runt to stay out of trouble. Naturally he picked a fight with Abyss because that’s the kind of thing Runt does.

In case it wasn’t mentioned earlier, the four way tag match is canceled. The announcers haven’t said that yet but I don’t have time to wait on them.

Abyss vs. Brother Runt

Runt has a mohawk and looks like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, which Tenay and West keep calling Taxi. Runt is no Judd Hirsch. He starts fast with forearms and a headbutt to the ribs but Abyss kicks him down and throws him over the top and into about the third row. On the floor Runt comes back with a Dudley Dog onto the barricade. Raven is watching from somewhere. Runt throws in some chairs but Abyss wedges the first one between the ropes. Runt’s head goes into the chair for Abyss to take over.

Abyss splashes him in the corner as Raven is still watching, apparently from next to the stage. Abyss loads up a superplex but Runt gets in a shot with Abyss’ chain to knock him to the ring. Acid Drop (Dudley Dog, same thing) gets two. The referee goes down and Abyss gets his bag of tacks. Abyss rubs Runt’s face into the tacks and stomps on the back of Runt’s head, sending it into the tacks. Ok that’s not bad. Runt comes back but gets gorilla pressed onto the tacks. Black Hole Slam onto the tacks ends this.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I’ve never gotten the appeal of Runt challenging whatever monster there is but I suppose it was to set up Raven vs. Abyss later on. Abyss threw him around all match long and then beat him up with the tacks in some decent looking violence. Pretty boring match though.

Rhyno says he was looking for Joe and Brown during the confusion earlier. He’s here to destroy both of them no matter where he needs to go.

We recap Rhyno vs. Joe vs. Brown. Rhyno was offered a contract with the new ECW but he turned it down. He threw out an open contract for a fight at Hard Justice which was accepted by Joe and Brown. It’s falls count anywhere which is going to be stretched to mean hardcore.

Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown vs. Rhyno

Big brawl to start and Brown is sent to the floor where Rhyno dives on him. Joe dives on both of them and stands tall. Brown brings in a trashcan but Joe takes it from him. In a cool sequence he hits Brown in the back with the can and with Brown bent over, Joe punts it into Brown’s face. Joe gets sent into the crowd and Rhyno follows him with a kendo stick. They go over to that wall that you always see in the Impact Zone but Brown dives onto both of them to take over.

Rhyno and Joe ram each other into the wall enough times to crack it and boards are falling off of it. Brown beats on Joe with said boards before Rhyno takes Brown up above the wall. Joe pops up with a crutch and then a chair to the back of both of them. He superkicks Brown back a bit and they stumble further into the crowd. Joe poses long enough for Rhyno to hit him in the head with a trashcan lid.

Brown comes in with one of his own but gets suplexed by Rhyno for his troubles. There’s a suplex for Joe but he blocks the Gore. A suplex gets two on Rhyno for Brown. Rhyno knocks Brown upside the head again and pulls some more weapons from under the ring. They go into the ring with Joe still down. As I say that, Joe comes back in and cleans house on Brown, hitting a backsplash for two.

Joe goes off on Rhyno but walks into a spinebuster onto a chair. They go to the corner with Rhyno looking for a superplex. Joe pulls him down with a sunset bomb onto the chair for two. Brown is back in now and takes Joe to the floor. He loads up a table but can’t suplex Joe off the ramp through the table. Instead he hits a swinging neckbreaker on Joe on the stage. Rhyno runs in with a trashcan lid shot to both of them. There’s a table set up off the stage but Rhyno misses a Gore off the stage and crashes through it. Brown goes down to pin him but walks into an STO off the ramp through the table by Joe for the pin.

Rating: A-. That’s probably high but DANG this was a wild brawl. They didn’t stop for over thirteen minutes and some of those weapon shots were HARD, especially the ones with the trashcan lid by Rhyno. Joe would keep running through everyone and wouldn’t lose until December to this Angle dude. He would beat Jarrett (non-title of course) next month. Brown would have one more match until he left for WWE.

Larry Z says Earl Hebner has been thrown out. He says he had nothing to do with the controversy at Slammiversary. Mark Johnson comes in and wants an explanation but Larry says it was Johnson’s fault.

We recap Gail vs. Sirelda. Sirelda is the lastest Chyna wannabe who beat up Gail on behalf of AJ and Daniels, so tonight it’s girl vs. whatever Sirelda is.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Scott Steiner goes on a semi-famous rant, talking about how Christian is a surprise as Sting’s backup. That’s strange because Scott Steiner is from a highly educated university and has to dumb himself down for these fans.

We recap the X Title match which is Senshi defending against Williams who won a five way and Lethal who is in the match because he tried hard in a match against Jarrett.

Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.

Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.

Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.

Konnan says LAX’s revolution continues tonight. Daniels and Styles are handpicked champions and LAX won’t stand for that.

We recap LAX vs. Styles/Daniels. It’s pretty much exactly what I just explained: LAX is leading the Latin revolution against TNA and they’re starting by taking the tag titles.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Daniels and Hernandez start things off and it’s power vs. striking. Daniels escapes a suplex and hits a headscissors followed by a leg lariat to send Hernandez to the floor. Off to Styles vs. Homicide and Tenay is WAY too excited about it. They trade armdrags and slug it out with rights to the head. Homicide snaps off a rana but AJ nips up into one of his own to send Homicide out to the floor.

Hernandez tries to come in but the champs double team him out to the floor. It’s back to Styles vs. Homicide now but a Hernandez distraction allows Homicide to hit a neckbreaker for two. SuperMex comes in legally now and hooks onto AJ’s head with a neck crank. Back to Homicide for a chinlock of his own. AJ tries to set for a springboard but Hernandez breaks that up. Homicide hits a tope con hilo through the ropes to take AJ out again.

Daniels tries to come in but it just allows Konnan to get in more offense. Hernandez gets the tag and chokes a bit before it’s back to Homicide. AJ comes back with a front suplex to drape Homicide over the top rope which is good for the tag. Daniels cleans house on both challengers, hitting a combination bulldog/enziguri. Split legged moonsault gets two. Homicide goes to the floor but Daniels drops down on him as well. Hernandez dives over the top to take them both out but AJ hits a HUGE off the top rope shooting star to take everyone out.

Everyone is down until AJ gets up and throws Homicide back in. A faceplant gets two because AJ gets up to take out Hernandez. Daniels is back up and a double team cross body gets two on Homicide. LAX hits a kind of Steiner Bulldog for two on Daniels. Homicide sets for a tornado DDT but AJ blocks it until Hernandez comes over for the Tower of Doom. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault into the DDT for two on SuperMex. Everyone is down and AJ hits the Pele on Hernandez. Release Rock Bottom puts Daniels down but Konnan crotches Styles. LAX sets for double finishers but the champions escape and hit High Low to retain on Homicide.

Rating: B. These two teams had some excellent chemistry together and their future matches would get even better. This won feud of the year in TNA I think and I certainly can understand why. Daniels is always tolerable when he’s not facing AJ so this was a much more enjoyable performance from him.

Christian says he thinks Jarrett started the fire to get out of his match. He’s not going anywhere and tonight, Jarrett loses the title. As for Steiner, he can come after Christian anytime. Sting gets the title tonight to cut the cancer out of TNA.

We get a shortened version of the Sting vs. Jarrett video from earlier.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Christian and Steiner are the respective seconds. We almost get in a fight with the big match intros but after them we’re ready to go. The fans chant steroids at Steiner. Feeling out process to start but Sting quickly goes for the Scorpion twice in less than a minute. Out to the floor and Jeff is thrown over the announce table. Sting hits him with a fan. As in a cooling machine, not a person.

They’re in the crowd now as is the custom for a Sting main event match. All Sting so far. Sting throws Jarrett back into the ring after an extended crowd beating but as the the referee (one of three) is with Christian, Steiner hits Sting in the knee with a chair and suplexes Christian. Jeff goes right for the knee and Sting is in trouble. There’s the Figure Four and of course it’s on the wrong leg.

Jarrett makes the eternal mistake of slapping Sting which lets Sting turn the hold over and eventually make a rope. They slug it out and Sting isn’t selling the knee. Stinger Splash misses but the Stroke is countered into the Death Drop for two as Steiner pulls the referee out. Christian goes after Roidzilla with a chair but gets ejected for trying to use it. A regular splash from Sting gets knees to put him down.

Steiner throws in the belt and distracts the referee but Christian trips him up and throws the belt to Sting. Jarrett is clocked but Steiner’s distraction lets Jarrett recover and put his foot on the ropes. They collide and Steiner hits Sting with a chair, knocking his head into Jarrett’s crotch. Christian and Steiner get in the ring for a fight but Steiner is thrown out. Wasn’t Christian ejected? Either way he hits Jarrett with the chair and is ejected again as a result.

Steiner is in the ring behind the referee but doesn’t actually do anything. Now he gets ejected as well so it’s FINALLY even. Sting and Jarrett are both getting up but Sting misses a dropkick. Jarrett hooks the Scorpion on Sting but Sting Hulks Up and powers out of it. Scorpion to Jarrett but Jeff makes the rope. Stinger Splash hits the referee and Jarrett hits the Stroke, but there’s no one to count. Cue Steiner again with a guitar but Christian comes in with the bat. He cleans house with it but turns on Sting as he comes off the top, hitting him with the guitar. Jarrett gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: C. WAY overbooked here as almost all Jarrett vs. Sting matches wind up being. How hard can it possibly be to have Jarrett vs. Sting? I mean….IT’S JEFF JARRETT VS. STING. Do you think they can have a good match on their own? This might as well have been a tag match and it didn’t set up Christian vs. Sting for some reason. Instead we got Joe vs. Jarrett next month and Sting vs. Jarrett again at BFG.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was a bit of a mess, but it was a fun mess. The fire messed up a lot of stuff but it happened early enough in the show that it didn’t change much (other than the promos which mentioned it all night). There were some good matches here and the main event, while overbooked beyond all need, was entertaining enough and let Christian do his obvious turn. Pretty good show but it had some holes in it.

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