I didn’t watch it but I’ll be reviewing it tonight or tomorrow.

For those of you who watched it, any thoughts?

Before we get started, please keep in mind this is one of the first reviews I ever did and I didn’t know what I was doing yet.

In Your House 2: The Lumberjacks
Date: July 23, 1995
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,482
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off the heels of KOTR 95, which may have been the worst PPV of all time and I kid you not. It was just flat out bad all around. It had a “triple main event”. This consisted of Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler in a Kiss My Foot Match, Mabel vs. Savio Vega in the KOTR Finals, and Diesel and Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka. Holy freaking goodness.

Anyway, that festering pile of garbage leads us here, with Sid getting a rematch for the title as well as the newly face Shawn Michaels going after the IC Title from Jeff Jarrett. This show is yet again a SNME on PPV, but that’s ok I think. It was 20 dollars for some decent wrestling, so what more could you really ask for? Let’s see if it’s any good.

Show stars with a cheap country song about the show tonight. I get that these are for the theme of the show, but these are just annoying to me most of the time. Kind of catchy I guess. Vince’s buildup lines here are almost creepy with how enthusiastic he is about them.

1-2-3 Kid vs. The Roadie

DX explodes here as X-Pac faces the Road Dogg. This is fallout from the Razor vs. Jeff Jarrett feud. Dogg was actually a worse wrestler back then than he is now. The story here is that Jarrett is singing live tonight for the first time, which yet again, no one really cared about but they had to fill time on the show I suppose. During the match we see Jarrett in the back not paying a bit of attention to his friend’s match.

Kid has a bad neck coming in just in case you were wondering. This isn’t bad, but it’s 1-2-3 Kid vs. the Roadie, which kind of hurts it. Based on the way they’re talking, Roadie was supposed to be a big deal or something, which is just kind of funny. I always enjoy seeing the future fairly big names in their previous gimmicks as it never ceases to amaze me what people can do to surprise you. Roadie hits a kind of bad/cool looking pile driver from the middle rope to get the win.

Rating: C+. Like I said, the main thing hurting this match is the fact that it was X-Pac vs. Road Dogg, but before they were anything close to stars. It’s not particularly bad as it kept my attention for the most part, but it’s nothing great. Post match, Roadie goes to the stage to check Jarrett’s mic for later on. Holy theme for the show Batman.

The Million Dollar Corporation says Sid is winning the title tonight.

Men on a Mission vs. Razor Ramon/Savio Vega

Oh screw it not this again. Mable is still the King and still sucks beyond belief. Somehow this guy got the title shot at Summerslam. Seriously, I have yet to get what Vince was thinking at the time when he booked this nonsense. Razor, as always, has bad ribs. Savio, as always, sucks. You know, out of all these four, I completely forgot about Mo. Seriously, that’s his name: Mo. Was he supposed to be intimidating or something?

I never remember him doing anything at all, yet he was always around, kind of like a bad fungus. Oh, apparently Razor’s ribs are fine. Dang I almost started to care for a minute there. Close call indeed. Lawler’s line of if brains were sunshine Razor would be a snowstorm makes me chuckle. This match is happening because Savio lost to Mable in the king of the ring final and Razor is his friend.

Mo is there because there was already a bum at the local gas station so they gave him a night’s “work”. I must really love you guys: I’m watching Savio Vega vs. Mabel. Let that sink in for a minute. Razor is the only thing that’s decent in the match and he’s been in it all of 90 seconds.

The referee’s counts are insanely fast so I guess he realizes how bad this match is too. The crowd is way too hot for a match like this. Razor throwing Mabel around like he does is actually kind of cool to see. Belly to belly and another fast count ends this.

Rating: C-. Seriously, WHAT WAS VINCE THINKING??? Three out of these four completely suck and one kind of sucks. Mable pins Razor clean? I can’t blame Razor for bailing for WCW in less than a year one bit.

Todd Pettingill interviews the band for Jarrett and plays with his instruments.

Michael Hayes is with some of Diesel’s lumberjacks. I just realized: there are thirty lumberjacks for this main event. Is that really needed? Wouldn’t 20 be enough? That’s five guys per side of the ring. Nothing of note is said here other than the rumor of DiBiase buying off some lumberjacks. You know, Man Mountain Rock and Adam Bomb were freaking awesome characters. Sure they weren’t serious, but DANG they were cool. Look them up if you haven’t seen them yet.

It’s time for Jarrett to sing.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have this song on my ipod. The song is kind of catchy, but the twist was supposed to be that he was lip synching for Roadie, eventually leading to a feud between the two. However, after tonight the pair would both leave the company. Both guys went to the USWA for a few months but Jarrett was back within six months and Roadie was back in about a year.

The spelling of his name was actually a decent gimmick because even nearly 15 years later, every time I type his name that line is in my head. This was actually a decent little song and it was rather catchy. The story made sense and had it played out, it could have been something I think. Roadie actually has a decent singing voice.

I remember distinctly watching this live with my mother and my mom was legitimately impressed. He actually sings far better than the backup, professional, singers. Vince trying to sound country and hip is just flat out sad.

The fans mostly like the song.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Henry Godwin

O……….k. Godwin simply does not work as a heel, end of argument. It’s just creepy. These two are both lumberjacks tonight and Henry cost Bigelow a match with Sid on Raw. Oh man I forgot about Bigelow’s pyro gimmick again. WWE should rehire whoever this announcer is. Dude’s pretty freaking sweet.

I always kind of liked Godwin. The guy had a decent look to him and wasn’t too bad in the ring. He was bad, but not that bad. Bigelow got thrown out of the Corporation and is going through them one by one, even though Godwin was just an associate of theirs at the time.

This is a style as old as time: two big guys beating on each other. Yes, it’s pretty bad looking, but it’s not supposed to be a classic. Godwin dominates most of this short match until Bigelow comes back wins this pretty quickly. I think the finish was a botch as Godwin misses a knee from the top and gets covered for a pin.

Rating: C. This was short and rugged, but it did its job. Bigelow gets a win, Godwin looks decent, and the feud is continued. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. Pretty entertaining little match, but don’t expect much. Bigelow would be gone by the end of the year and Godwin would (thank God) be a face.

Bob Backlund wants to be President. My lord what was wrong with wrestling in 1995?

Shawn Michaels (the day after his birthday) says he wants the IC Title as a present.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is by far the match of the night. Shawn is newly face after a long heel run where he was having the best matches on the show and got over by way of that. This came about by Shawn doing commentary one night but Roadie throwing some guy onto him, leading to a brawl with Jarrett and Shawn.

Jarrett again shoots himself in the foot by leaving the day after he has the best match of his career up to that point. Jarrett’s intro takes like three minutes on its own with a guest announcer and Roadie. Shawn’s pop blows the roof off the place. Jarrett is champion here. Jarrett clutching his title to him is rather amusing.

Memphis levels of stalling to start until Shawn is all like screw that and steals the title. After a lot of nothing, Shawn does the lay on the ropes taunt. I love that thing. This should be very good from a technical standpoint. Shawn had reached the point here where he was the best in the company or a close second, but he just wasn’t ready for the jump to the main event.

It’s kind of a long feeling out process here as Shawn does the Jarrett strut and Jarrett does the Shawn corner thing. And there goes Jarrett as he tries to leave. Dang he comes back since I guess he sucks as a heel. This is pure Memphis with all of the stalling. Shawn is like screw this and goes to the floor to bring him back.

They keep changing things up here and never actually going straight at it for more than a few seconds at a time. Shawn gets a big dive to the floor to take out both guys which looked sweet. Shawn has looked awesome for the whole thing so far and is just picking Jarrett apart. Until right then when he gets launched over the top and crashes to the floor.

Gordbuster to REALLY go old school here. I think Vince’s mic is out as Jeff gets an abdominal stretch for a good while. Roadie gets involved and costs Jarrett his advantage or at least for a bit. He gets involved again but this time it works and Shawn is in trouble. Nice pinfall reversal sequence gets us some close near falls.

Shawn tries to crank it up but gets caught in a sleeper. The basic reversal follows and both guys are down. Forearm hits and Shawn’s feet never hit the ground as he’s nipping up already. Moonsault gets two and Jarrett won’t stay down. Elbow gets the same as Jarrett keeps getting up.

This is a very solid back and forth match. Jarrett gets the suplex off the middle rope but the figure four is countered into a small package for two. Another is blocked and down goes the referee. Cross body gets two for Jarrett as this is very good so far. Roadie screws up and hooks the wrong leg, allowing Shawn to kick Jeff’s head off for the pin and the title.

Rating: A. This was just a great match all around and the match of the night by a mile. Shawn shows once again that he is the future of the company and Jarrett shows that he can’t handle the spotlight as he bails again. Still, great stuff here and just pure fun the whole time. Well worth checking out.

Holy
Freaking
Crap

Doc Hendrix just gave the most wild, insane speech that I have ever seen. He sounds like he’s on so much cocaine that he can barely see straight. He speaks for about thirty seconds in one long sentence, talking about Roadie and Jarrett fighting. This had my mouth hanging open in awe. Either awesome or creepy and I’m not sure which.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Allied Powers

Sweet goodness that was a bad team after awhile. Luger would be gone by September to appear on the first Nitro and Bulldog kind of faded away. Even I at 7 years knew they stood no chance in this match. Yoko isn’t at his fattest yet but you can see that his weight is completely getting out of hand at this point. This match isn’t any good really and it’s just there to fill time.

Luger and Smith control the majority of it until there’s your big melee and Hart hits a double axe on a not looking Luger to set up the legdrop to allow Yoko to pin him. Just a waste of ten minutes.

Rating: D. There is nothing here. It’s just ten minutes of the faces beating on Yoko before the really bad ending. Luger bailed in three months and I don’t blame him one bit. Smith turned heel in August and was gone a few months later. Just a filler.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Sid

You’ve heard the story if you’re read the previous review. The idea is Diesel and Shawn were feuding when Sid was Shawn’s bodyguard. Sid beat up Shawn after being fired and Diesel made the save, leading to this feud. Sid is part of the Million Dollar Corporation as well.

This match is miles ahead of the previous encounter with them trying some new things and it worked. Diesel even does a suicide dive over the top rope a la Undertaker. Sid of course hits the powerbomb but is slow and Diesel kicks out. The lumberjacks, namely Shawn, beat up Sid and Diesel kicks him and pins him. Decent match and then the champion celebrates to close us out.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good. The main issue is it’s just barely ten minutes long. With another five minutes this could have been very good, but at the same time it could have exposed their weaknesses. It finally ended this long feud that was just kind of a summer filler before the big one came with Diesel and Bret.

This concludes the regular show and it’s now time for the Home Video exclusives.

Bret Hart vs. Jean–Pierre Lafitte

This was in the middle of a feud between the two where you have to kind of scratch your head over what the heck they were doing with Hart. He goes from Hakushi to this, to the World Title? Lafitte is a pirate gimmick of all things, just not as entertaining as Burchill was with it. This match is as standard of a Bret match from this time as you’ll ever find with Bret getting the tar beaten out of him for about ten minutes before coming back and winning via some surprise, in this case a roll up.

Rating: C. This is just kind of there. It’s a solid match, but seriously, Bret Hart faces a freaking pirate? The idea was that Lafitte kept stealing Hitman’s glasses and eventually his jacket. To this day I don’t get where they were going with this, but it was blown off a month later so call this a dry run.

Undertaker vs. Kama

Casket match.  So why are they keeping two of their biggest stars off the main show? I get there are time constraints, but this is a bit excessive. This is another dry run as the big one of this was at Summerslam. Kama stole the urn and turned it into a necklace as you already know. Standard stuff here as Kama tries a chokeslam and gets his Godfathering head kicked off and thrown into the casket.

Rating: C. Seriously, why leave these two (Taker and Hart) off the card? The match is fine and I get that this was a treat for the fans so it’s ok. Taker was in a weird spot here as no one knew what to do with him, which is the exact same thing that anyone could claim around this time. It wasn’t until the next year when Hall and Nash left that guys like Shawn, Bret and Taker were pushed to the top of the roster and it helped a lot.

OverallRating: B-. Definite improvement over last time. Far less wastes of time as every match has a purpose in the main stories at the time and at the end you get two of the top stars in the company as a bonus. You throw in something regional with the country song and a great Jarrett/Michaels match and this is an easy thumbs up. Good show but they were still hammering out some bugs.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

TNA Weekly PPV #8
Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

We’re back to Nashville and this is a BIG show. Around this time the original financial backer of the company bailed out, so the company is either in a big state of flux right now or is about to be. On the in ring side though, we have two title matches tonight and one of them will see the final appearance of a champion for nearly two years. Let’s get to it.

The Dupps and Apolo are waiting outside Steamboat’s office. I think Steamboat is boss around here anymore.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

I’m serious. That’s their name. It’s Amazing Red, Joel Maximo and Jose Maximo. The Elvises are Jimmy Yang, Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada. It’s a big brawl to start Tenay says that the SAT (the name they’ll become known by) are named because of the announce table always broken at a WWE event. Thanks for that one Mike. I NEVER would have gotten that without you.

Red and Siaki are left in the ring and we’re told that Jose Maximo is the one with elbow pads. Got it. Back to four guys in the ring again with Siaki throwing Red in the air and catching him in a Samoan Drop. All three Elvises are at least on the apron now. Jose Maximo is in the ring now and takes a triple sitout powerbomb before being sent outside again. Red comes in again and we still haven’t had a one on one match.

Siaki LAUNCHES Red onto the Maximos but Siaki won’t let his partners pose. Ok so it’s Joel vs. Sonny to start but Sonny doesn’t want to let either of his partners in. Yang and Estrada go to do commentary, basically making it 3-1. Joel in the ring now but it’s quickly off to Red with a standing shooting star press. Jorge starts to sing on commentary. The Maximos double team Sonny and put him in a wicked double team combo submission with Joel hooking a surfboard and Jose hooking a dragon sleeper. If that’s not enough, Red hits a double stomp while Siaki is up in the surfboard. FREAKING OW MAN!

Off to Red vs. Siaki now with Sonny hitting a pumphandle suplex for two. Yang gets back on the apron but Sonny STILL won’t tag. Yang gets back on commentary as a triple team takes Sonny down so Jose can kick him in the head for two. Siaki gets a right hand in to Red but the Maximos come in for a double C4 off the top.

Red hits a corkscrew moonsault and the other Elvises come in. Everything breaks down and the Code Red (sunset flip bomb) gets two for Red. The Maximos set for some double team spot but Yang slips off Jose. Estrada counters another double C4 into a double DDT off the top. Yang and Estrada go up at the same time for a stereo top rope legdrop and splash combo, only to have Siaki steal the pin on Red.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with a bunch of high flying spots and furthering of the split between the Elvises. Siaki is a solid heel and it’s kind of a shame that his push stopped. This is the right kind of opener though and the crowd was fired up by the big spots. It worked in WCW and it works everywhere else.

The announcers talk about the title matches tonight.

Earlier today, Apolo went on a rant about how he’s been screwed out of a world title shot. That’s true, as he was passed over because of Truth’s rant about racism or whatever. Steamboat has lost his respect for passing him over. Tonight, Apolo wants an answer from Steamboat.

Apolo goes to see Steamboat but Steamboat blows him off. The Dupps try to talk to Steamboat but we cut to AJ vs. Lynn in another brawl in the back. Security finally breaks it up.

Here’s Steamboat who is kind of a jerk lately. The Dupps follow him out and Steamboat says he doesn’t have time with it, so go do whatever it is you want to do.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Ron Killings

Steamboat jumps in on commentary. Shamrock (defending) grabs a leglock almost immediately but Truth fights up. Ken almost falls over trying a kick to the face and then puts on an armbar. Ricky talks about why he gave Truth the match. He talks about how he was IC Champion but didn’t get a title shot at Hogan. In this case, the real story would be better: he didn’t get a title shot at Hogan, but then he went to the NWA and they gave him the opportunity. Instead they took a shot at the WWF but that’s more important right?

Truth snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Truth hits a spinning forearm for two. Shamrock messes up a sunset flip as Steamboat talks about going sixty minutes a lot of the time. Truth pounds away in the corner but gets caught in a powerbomb to counter. Ken comes back with a powerslam but he’s looking haggard already.

Another kick takes Truth down and Shamrock is all fired up. He tries the standing rana but it looks like he’s going in slow motion. There’s the ankle lock but Truth gets to a rope quickly. The New Church is watching from the stage as we head to the outside. Monty Brown is on the stage too. Truth suplexes him on the floor and they head back in with Shamrock taking over almost immediately.

The champ pounds away and hooks a cross armbreaker. Truth slaps Shamrock’s knee which looks a lot like tapping out. Shamrock lets the hold go for no apparent reason and is getting ticked off. Truth gets thrown to the floor and here’s the interference. We’ve got Apolo attacking Truth, the New Church attacking Shamrock, and Don Harris and Monty Brown attacking the New Church. Apolo fires a superkick but misses Truth and COMPLETELY misses Shamrock, but Ken sells it anyway. That was embarrassing. Steamboat throws Shamrock back in and a Diamond Cutter gives Truth the title.

Rating: D. Changing the title here was a good idea as Shamrock looked horrible. In a less than ten minute match he botched at least four moves. That’s not acceptable for a world champion, especially in a company that is brand new like this. Steamboat didn’t really add anything here but it was a good idea to have Truth win the title, as he’s involved with the main storylines. Shamrock wouldn’t have another match with the company until 2004.

Steamboat comes out again and wants to talk to Apolo. Apolo comes out and Steamboat says Apolo can’t be a maniac anymore. Why not? It got Truth a title shot. Apparently it gets Apolo a title shot as well….and here’s Jarrett. Jarrett complains about being discriminated against because he’s white. Steamboat says he can’t believe what he’s hearing and says this stops here tonight. Tonight it’s Jarrett vs. Apolo and the winner gets Truth. So basically in NWA TNA, you get title matches by whining. That’s how Truth got his, and that’s how these two are getting their chances at a shot. Oh and Steamboat is referee.

Here’s Disco Inferno for Jive Talking but his set is way cheaper looking, with a cardboard sign with Jive Talken (that’s how it’s spelled) written on it. Here are the Dupps and they announce the first Dupp Cup Invitational. Apparently this is going to be the new hardcore division. You have to get ten points to win a match in the division. It’s 2.5 points for putting someone through a table a 5 points if it’s on fire.

If you put your opponent’s head in a toilet, it’s 2.5 points. It goes downhill from here with stupid jokes about using farm animals. Apparently if you spank an opponent with a hobby horse you get 2.5 points, but if they like it, you lose 2.5 points. This keeps going for awhile and the redneck crowd likes it for reasons that are likely due to inbreeding. The Dupps would be gone after next week and the company was instantly better.

Stan takes his shirt off and reveals a shirt with a picture of Goldilocks in a bikini taped to it. Disco asks who is going to be in the match tonight so here’s Paulina from Tough Enough. The Dupps offer 64 cents to anyone that wants to fight for the Dupp Cup. Apparently you also get a night with their hot cousin Fluff Dupp…..and Ed Ferrara accepts.

Dupp Cup: Ed Ferrara vs. The Dupps

Ferrara hits JB for two and a half points, spanks Don West for three and a half more (first to ten wins and yes those rules were established before the match) but the Dupps jump him to take over. Stan hits Ferrara with a chair for a point and Stan does the same to make it 6-2. A boot and a drink to Ferrara’s head make it 6-4 and another chair shot makes it 6-5. We meet J, who was mentioned in the rules, which is a sex blow-up doll which makes it 7.5 to 6 in favor of the Dupps.

Sarah the Ticket Lady (also mentioned) beats up Bo with a broom which means no points to anyone. Paulina hits Stan with a chalk board and Ed spears Bo down. Three chair shots somehow make it 8 to 7.5 in favor of Ed. Ed spanks Bo with “Horsey Poo” but Bo likes it so Ed loses 2.5 points, making it 5.5 to 7.5 in favor of the Dupps. Here’s a table and Bo chokeslams Ed through it for the win. If you think I’m rating this you’re dumber than the Dupps.

By the way, this segment got over 16 minutes, or as long as the main event tonight will get.

Monty Brown talks about his background in an interview with Mike Tenay, where he lists off his accomplishments and transitioning from football to wrestling. He’s very calm here and comes off like a well read and intelligent guy as opposed to the wild and loud guy he would be more famous as. Brown talks about the politics he faced in the NFL and talks about how he overcame them. As for Truth, he doesn’t like the whining….and here’s Elix Skipper (I think) to hit him with what looks like yellow paint. It covers Monty with one shot. Skipper yells about Monty not knowing what it’s like to be from the streets.

Malice vs. Don Harris

First blood here as we have a match with a security guard. Malice takes over to start and rams Harris into the barricade a few times. Mitchell, Malice’s manager, jumps in on commentary. Harris kicks a chair into Malice’s face and whips him HARD into the barricade. They head into the crowd and Harris cracks him in the head with a chair. Another chair shot to the head looks to open Malice up but it’s not quite there yet.

Malice still has his vest on. He rams Harris into a wall and they’re still out in the crowd. They head to the stage and Mitchell talks about setting the stage for things to come by putting blood on the opponents’ faces. Malice gets thrown off the stage and lands face first on the barricade.

Slash jumps Harris from behind and has some kind of a sharp object. Harris gets it from him and stabs Slash in the head with it but Malice comes back and we head to ringside again. Mitchell gets taken down and has blood all over him now from that box he carries. The guys head inside for the first time of the whole match and a Boss Man Slam puts Malice down but Malice jabs him with something around the eye for the blood and the win.

Rating: D. Even for a first blood match, this wasn’t anything of note. It’s like six minutes long and it wasn’t anything interesting. We know who Harris is but I have no idea why this match was happening. Also the ending comes out nowhere and I’m not really sure what Malice did to open Harris up. This would continue in a few weeks if not next week.

Sonny Siaki annoys Goldilocks when Bruce pops up and steals her mic. He gets in Taylor Vaughn’s face and offers her a rematch in an evening gown match. Low Ki and AJ pop up and are brawling as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Apolo

Steamboat is guest referee and the winner gets a shot at the Truth. Feeling out process to start but Steamboat blocks a right hand from Jeff. Jeff pounds on Apolo, Apolo pounds on Jeff, not much is going on here. Jeff gets sent to the floor via a clothesline and Steamboat actually enforces the get off the top before five rule. Back in and Apolo hits a Sky High powerbomb for two.

A Booker T sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Apolo and Jarrett gets guillotined on the top rope to send him to the floor. Jeff sends Apolo into the barricade and we head back inside with Jarrett in full control. Apolo is busted open and misses a splash in the corner. Jarrett enziguris him down for two and the fans think it was a slow count. Apolo misses a shoulder block and Jeff goes after the knee.

Figure Four goes on and Apolo is in a lot of trouble. The fans are completely behind Jarrett and chant MAKE HIM TAP. The hold is turned over but Jeff is quickly in the ropes. Jeff misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes. They slug it out with Apolo’s leg looking fine. A DDT puts Jeff down but Apolo can’t follow up. Apolo comes back with some clotheslines and a superkick but Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Apolo hits a German suplex but Jeff raises his shoulder, and with some hesitation, Steamboat counts the three on Apolo.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but at the same time it’s about what you would have expected. I always like Apolo for the most part but this was pretty much the height of his time in the company and would be his last match until 2004. The rise of Jarrett continues as I think we all knew was coming when we heard he was starting a wrestling company. Before people get on me, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The guy is a great heel and it was his company, so who could he trust on top more?

Steamboat explains what just happened to Apolo so Apolo gets on him because of unfairness or something like that. Apolo leaves and Steamboat says Jarrett is getting the Truth….just not for the title. It’s going to be Jarrett/Truth vs. Lynn/Styles for the tag titles next week.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

It’s an evening gown match, meaning strip the other person down to their underwear to win. Bruce is a man and Miss TNA coming in. Bruce dominates, hitting a suplex and a backbreaker before taking Taylor’s dress off to retain. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?

Bruce strips as well and we’ve got a thong.

Don West gives his sales pitch for next week. He really is good at this stuff. We get a merchandise pitch too.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

Styles and Lynn are tag champions and Styles is X Champion. I’ll only refer to Styles as a champion in this though for the sake of clarity. Lynn and Low Ki take out Styles to start and immediately brawl with each other. Low Ki fires off kicks at Lynn but Jerry catches one of them and AJ kicks Ki in the head. Lynn hooks Styles in an inverted Gory Special but gets dropkicked down by Low Ki.

A Muta style elbow gets two on the champ for Low Ki but Styles does his awesome nip up into a rana to take over. There’s a torture rack to Low Ki but AJ keeps going with it and hits a kind of reverse AA into a facebuster. Lynn pops up and takes AJ down but Styles comes right back with a McGillicutter to take Jerry down. A rana from AJ is countered into a kind of powerbomb facebuster for two by Jerry.

Low Ki is sent to the apron but he slingshots in to roll up Jerry as Jerry German suplexes AJ which gets a double two count. Cool spot. Lynn and Low Ki chop it out as AJ is down. AJ tries a suplex on Low Ki but gets caught in a Dragon Sleeper. Lynn tries for a save but gets caught in the same hold. Jerry suplexes Low Ki down but AJ saves. AJ goes up but Jerry DDTs him off the top for two.

Styles and Low Ki slug it out but Low Ki kicks him in the face to take over. AJ hits his moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and then loads up a superplex on Low Ki but Jerry turns it into a Tower of Doom for two. All three guys get an awesome looking rollup for two, followed by AJ and Lynn trading very close two counts again. Low Ki rolls up Lynn, but Jerry kicks out, sending Low Ki into the Styles Clash position. Jerry breaks it up for some reason but the setup looked good.

Aj goes to the corner but Low Ki puts him in the Tree of Woe and in the Dragon Sleeper at the same time. Lynn’s tornado DDT to Low Ki is countered into a dragon sleeper on the ropes but AJ kicks him in the head and covers Lynn for two. A neckbreaker gets two on Lynn but Low Ki tries the Ki Crusher on AJ. Styles counters that but Low Ki hooks the Styles Clash on Styles. Jerry hits a Ki Crusher on Low Ki and you know what’s coming next. The cradle piledriver gets two on Lynn and the fans are digging this a lot.

Low Ki accidentally kicks the referee and is thrown to the floor by both opponents. Jerry and AJ collide to put both guys down and AJ falls to the floor in pain. Scratch that as he brings in a chair which he caves in Lynn’s head with a chair. AJ goes up but as he climbs, Low Ki covers Lynn. In a pretty questionable ending, the referee gets to two, AJ hits Spiral Tap on Low Ki, Low Ki comes up off Jerry, goes back down on Jerry, and the referee counts one more time (as in the referee slaps the mat only once more) for the three count and Low Ki is champion.

Rating: B. Bad ending aside, this was a fun match which showed off what TNA was good at: high flying matches with guys going so fast it’s almost impossible to keep up with what’s going on. I missed a few spots because I couldn’t type fast enough to keep up with them. Low Ki was by far the most popular guy in the match so going with him as champion was the right move. AJ and Lynn would keep feuding for awhile longer.

Since the signature division just had a great match, let’s cut to Jarrett to close the show. He and Truth yell at each other before we cut back to AJ and Lynn fighting. Jarrett and Truth stare at each other on the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot, but MAN FREAKING ALIVE this was a long sit. There were some dumb things on here, mainly the Dupps, which went on for over 1/8th of the WHOLE FREAKING SHOW. It’s low brow humor which I don’t find funny at all and it went nowhere. This show was terrible, but it’s a big transitioning point for TNA with two new champions and the departure of a lot of guys who brought them this far. Really weak show overall for this week though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2012
Location: Chesepeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma|
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in Oklahoma tonight which means a few things. First of all, it’s JR Appreciation Night but that might only be for the post show stuff. Also I believe we’re in the arena where Punk first cashed in the MITB case and won his first world title, which will likely be mentioned. We’re also likely to see what Ryback staring Punk down last week will mean, and on the Blue side, we’re getting…..wait for it….a debate between Big Show and Sheamus. Yet they wonder why no one watches Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of Punk’s antics last week, including the great promo with Foley and turning around to see Ryback at the end of the show.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. During the entrance the Appreciation Night is mentioned. Punk complains about the attack last week and says in Chicago that’s called weakness. Punk was looking for a doctor at the end of the show when he low blowed Foley. He didn’t like the lack of respect that Foley was showing him and thinks Foley never would have talked like that to Cena or Rock or Austin. Punk doesn’t like the lack of respect this crowd is showing him either. Tonight, Punk is here to announce that it’s still not going to be Punk vs. Cena inside the Cell.

Punk whispers something to Heyman and Paul takes the mic. Heyman would like to move on to something else and that would be the proposal to AJ. This seems to bring out AJ but they cut her music after about half a second. Must be a production miscue. Heyman points out that while AJ didn’t say no, she did violate an ordinance from the board of directors, that if AJ strikes someone, she’s in trouble. Heyman calls for her removal from power and wants her job.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph with Vickie demanding that AJ be fired also and we get a clip of AJ beating her up a few months back. Heyman wants to know when this became about Vickie. Vickie cuts him off and says she represents the future World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman makes the obvious point that he’s with the CURRENT WWE Champion. Ziggler suggests Heyman and Vickie being co-GMs.

This brings out AJ to a surprisingly big reaction. AJ says she’s officially on probation which means we can drag this story out for a few more weeks. Apparently even Heyman doesn’t count as an exception so she has an executive coach to help with her development as a GM. And it’s Daniel Bryan. Bryan snaps on the crowd and yells NO a lot, saying he’s just here to apologize.

Bryan thinks AJ has gone insane because of being dumped by the man with the amazing beard. Now he’s the tag team champions, and you know who this brings out. Kane points out that AJ is a phenomenal kisser. Everything else that Bryan said was true, but he (Kane) is the tag team champions. Ziggler and Punk get in an argument of their own over who is better until AJ freaks out and reaches octaves even Vickie is jealous of. She makes the tag match you would expect her to make with the four guys in the ring. Total time for the opening segment: 21 minutes.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Epico/Primo vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Epico start with Cara hitting a Tajiri Elbow for two. Off to Primo who doesn’t do any better. Cara and Rey have inverted matching attire now. Rey comes in and the cousins are sent to the floor, but the masked guys stop before diving Epico and Primo move. Here are the Prime Time Players to sit on the stage as we take a break.

Back with Rey tagging out to Cara who comes in with a big springboard cross body. Cara kind of botches a springboard armdrag but it’s not too bad. Epico dropkicks him out of the air for two as the cousins take over. A quick sunset flip gets two on Primo for Cara and it’s back to Epico. Cara spins Epico around and slams him into the mat to get some separation and there’s the tag to Rey.

A big kick to the head takes Primo down and a seated senton does the same. A spinning reverse DDT gets two and here’s Cara with a springboard missile dropkick. There’s a kick to Primo’s head and it’s a double 619. Both masked guys go up top and Cara dives on Epico as the top rope splash from Rey pins Primo at 9:27.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw four high fliers out there and have them jump a lot. It worked for years in WCW and it worked here too. The Players didn’t do much here, but what did do something here was the commercial. It’s annoying when you have one like a minute into a match and the post break stuff has to act like a full match for all intents and purposes.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here and no entrance for Brodus. There was no entrance for either tag team earlier so maybe they’re trying to hurry things up. It’s an easy way to add a lot of time to the show actually. Brodus takes him into the corner to start and suplexes him down. A headbutt to the chest does the same but the t-bone suplex is blocked. Clay misses a splash and a springboard uppercut (you read that right) gets two and the Neutralizer pins Clay in 1:06. I guess it’s time for Brodus to be a jobber.

AJ comes up to Kaitlyn and introduces her to the coach, Christopher J. Stevenson, a guy in a suit. Kaitlyn will be ready to go again next week, even though she’s in her ring gear tonight. AJ wants to talk about their relationship and is all serious before going into an insane laugh. She isn’t really sorry at all and skips away. The coach says nothing at all.

Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Miz takes him down with a shoulder block and a pair of boots to the head for two. Ryder makes a comeback and hits the Broski boot for two as we hear about Larry King as the social media ambassador. The Rough Ryder is countered into a buckle bomb and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the pin at 2:39.

Here are Booker, Show and Sheamus for the debate. Show gets to make an opening statement but Show says this is stupid. He’s going to knock Sheamus out and Sheamus can’t even kick that high, so the Brogue Kick means nothing. Sheamus asks Show not to rip his leg off because he needs it to kick Show’s teeth in. All of the questions come from fans and the first question is what do you find the most challenging about your opponent. Sheamus is looking forward to the fight and the biggest issue is the match lasting more than 45 seconds. Sheamus has something between his eyes that looks like a bruise.

Show defends his hygiene in response to something Sheamus said and the second question is who has the most devastating finisher (Booker, reading the questions off the screen, gets Show’s finisher’s name wrong). Sheamus mentions the 45 second loss again and Show gets mad again. FINALLY he breaks his podium and we go to the last question.

Sheamus wants it to be from his cousin’s Tout. It’s from Rey Mysterio Sullivan, which is clearly Sheamus holding a mask to his face. Show complains about this not being serious again so Sheamus asks how it feels to lose the title in 45 seconds. Show takes off his jacket and Sheamus takes off his shirt. Show is dripping sweat and he walks away. This was REALLY worthless and it doesn’t make me want to see them fight at all. It does however make me want to know what is on Sheamus’ nose.

Ryback vs. Tensai

For those of you that were fascinated by the two minute match these two had on Smackdown I guess. Tensai runs him over to start but Ryback pops up and smiles. They slug it out and Ryback powerslams him down with ease. A belly to belly is broken up by Tensai so Ryback clotheslines him down with ease. Ryback can’t Shell Shock him on the first two attempts so he clotheslines him again for the pin at 1:49.

The Rhodes Scholars love their name and make fun of the debate. Sandow wasn’t pleased with the lack of formal wear from Sheamus. They think Sheamus is a neanderthal. And that’s it.

More cancer stuff.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match Eve talks about how awesome the Divas are. Beth tentatively shakes her hand and blocks the surprise attack from Eve. This is non-title by the way. Beth misses a charge and hits the post so Eve goes to the floor to pound on the bad arm. Beth gets rammed onto the floor and into the barricade which draws a nine count. Back inside Eve is upset so Beth runs her over. Eve hides in the ropes and comes out with her neckbreaker for the pin at 2:35.

AJ runs into Barrett in the back and my goodness Barrett is tall. Barrett says AJ needs the coach because Barrett doesn’t even have a match tonight. He says AJ has done a horrible job with her emotional outbursts and letting her personal relationships get in the way of her job. Barrett leaves and AJ thinks the coach is intimidated.

We hear about JBL climbing mountains to raise money for poor kids. Nothing wrong with charity work.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Apparently the One Man Band now has two people with him in the forms of Mahal and McIntyre. After a quick dance off they trade shoulder blocks and Slater elbows him in the face to take over. Slater’s group is called Encore apparently. He slams Santino down and jumps into the boot and Santino uses his usual stuff. The Cobra hits and Mahal/McIntyre run in for the DQ at 2:51.

Encore destroys Santino post match. All three of them say their nicknames and that’s about it. Slater’s theme song starting with “I’m just one man” is really stupid now.

Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus

Sandow hides to start so Sheamus grabs him by the beard and pounds away. Damien hides on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sandow hitting the floor again, drawing huge boos. Sheamus chases him into the crowd and catches Cody trying to interfere. The distraction lets Sandow clothesline Sheamus down and he takes over back in the ring. After some basic shots to the upper body, Sandow puts on a chinlock. Sandow fires off knees to the chest and hits a Russian legsweep and the windup elbow for two.

Damien pounds away some more and gets two off an elbow to the face. Back to the chinlock as Sandow’s offense is pretty much exhausted at this point. With Sheamus in 619 position, Sandow hits a charging hip shot to the back for two. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Sandow knocks him off the top with a good right hand. A boot to the head gets one for the non-champion and it’s off to a front facelock again.

Sheamus gets knocked to the floor as Sandow is still dominating which is pretty surprising. Back in and Damien gets another two and then another two and then chinlock #3 assuming you don’t count the variations of the move he’s already used. Sheamus comes back with a suplex to escape the hold and hits a knee lift and Regal Roll.

Sandow escapes a powerslam and hits a flipping neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets the feet up in the corner and a top rope battering ram gets two. Sandow escapes White Noise but gets caught in the ten forearms. Sheamus catches Cody coming and sends him into the ring as well. A single Brogue Kick takes out both guys and pins Sandow at 15:45.

Rating: C+. Sandow looked better than usual here but man alive does he need to expand his offense a bit. Five chinlock variations in a fifteen minute match is hard to get past. It’s very good to see Sandow get a rub like this though, as he looked credible against a guy who is way out of his league. Not a great match or anything but a good stepping stone for Damien.

It’s time for Jim Ross Appreciation Night and Cole sucks up to JR now because the scripts calls for it. Before JR can say anything, here are Punk and Heyman. Punk tells Cole to go sit down and asks the fans to make some noise. He says the fans don’t know the first thing about respect and says JR is going to make the fans believe it, by saying Punk is the best in the world.

JR calls Punk a jackass instead and Punk is mad. He wants to know what JR is going to do if Punk gets physical. Will Ross scream for Austin to help, because Austin isn’t here. Today is the 316^th day Punk has been champion which means that number now belongs to Punk. JR belongs to Punk right now too and JR is going to say it, no matter what. Ross says no because he’s called some of the best matches of all time with the best in the world in them and those people have earned the right. Punk needs to walk into the Cell and beat Cena, and then JR will say he’s the best in the world.

Punk takes his jacket off and steals JR’s hat which he stomps on. Them are fighting words in Oklahoma. JR looks like he’s about to cry and Punk talks about all the time he’s beaten Cena and makes fun of the Thunder for losing in the NBA Finals. Punk gives JR a chance to run or he’s going to get knocked out. JR goes to leave but Punk stops him, saying there’s no more commentary for JR for the rest of the night. Punk makes him take the walk of shame and berates him as he leaves.

Cue Ryback and JR immediately turns back towards the ring. Ryback stares Punk down with JR behind him. Punk doesn’t back down at first and the fans are chanting FEED ME MORE. Now Punk backs down, which is something he said he never does in his promo a few moments before.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Post Smackdown Del Rio attacked the already down Orton to put Orton off TV to film the movie I’d assume. Ricardo is going to do commentary here. This should be good. Del Rio immediately takes Kofi down to start but Kofi speeds things up as you would expect. Kofi knocks Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Alberto holding an abdominal stretch with Ricardo complaining that it’s 3-1 with Little Jimmy and R-Truth out there. Kofi escapes and hits an elbow and clothesline. A nice dropkick puts Del Rio down followed by the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise misses but the springboard cross body does as well. Armbreaker and we’re done at 6:10. Most of that was during the break so no rating, but this was nothing of note.

The coach talks to AJ in the back about putting aside her personal issues. AJ wants something special to happen tonight, like making the coach the guest referee for the main event. This is only made interesting by hearing JR talking about doing a reveal in something we weren’t supposed to hear. That’s production gaffe #3 tonight. For those of you counting, I only mentioned one of them. An incorrect graphic was put up earlier as well as AJ’s music playing too early.

Hell No vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title and AJ’s coach is referee for some reason. Scratch that as after the break before the match, AJ comes out as referee. Well I’m assuming she looks better in the outfit if nothing else. Kane and Ziggler start things off with Kane shoving him around a lot. Ziggler tries to get on Kane’s back but gets clotheslined to the floor. Bryan tags himself in as we take ANOTHER break.

Back with Ziggler holding Kane in the sleeper which means nothing anymore. A dropkick puts Kane down for two but the monster comes back with the low dropkick for two. A jumping DDT takes Kane down again and there’s the tag to Punk for the corner clothesline. Say it with me: the bulldog is countered. A side slam gets two on Punk as we still haven’t seen Bryan yet.

Kane hits the clothesline but as usual, Bryan tags in while Kane sets for the chokeslam. Punk kicks Bryan out of the air but Bryan moonsaults out of the corner. A clothesline from Daniel sets up the kicks and he takes Ziggler down as well, only to walk into the high kick for two. Dolph comes in and dropkicks Bryan to the floor. Bryan gets thrown into the barricade which gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Punk who goes up and gets crotched by Bryan. A butterfly superplex sets up the NO Lock on Punk but Punk (with Heyman’s help) makes the rope. AJ ejects both Heyman and Vickie, which makes Ziggler leave as well. Punk walks into the chokeslam and kane gets the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but it felt more like an angle than the match itself. Bryan and Kane have more or less been turned face now which is the best thing for both of them. They also weren’t featured as much tonight which is another good thing for them, as the company was bordering on overkill with them. Not a great match but it did its job….whatever that was.

Overall Rating: D+. This one felt flat to me. The biggest problem of all was that in the first two hours or so, everything felt really short, making it hard to get into anything. I’m wondering what the point was in squashing Clay, but more importantly we have Ryback getting face to face with Punk in the ring and the place going NUTS. That’s a really good sign for Ryback and hopefully it means something for the future. Not a good show tonight as it felt really flat, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Epico/Primo – Top Rope Splash to Primo

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Tensai – Clothesline

Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Spinning Neckbreaker

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater via DQ when Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal interfered

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Hell No b. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk – Chokeslam to Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestle War 1992
Date: May 17, 1992
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This show is about one thing and one thing only: War Games. Sting’s Squadron vs. The Dangerous Alliance in the ultimate blowoff match which is widely considered the best match in WCW in the 1990s. Other than that, everything is bonus as this is worth the price of admission on its own. I’ll likely be shifting towards more stuff I want to do after I finish ECW and SNME so this is kind of a preview of that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video doesn’t talk about anything but the War Games. This is the original version so a bunch of the matches are NOT missing like the home video version. Tony and Eric welcome us to the show and are the hosts I guess. This is going to be Sting’s first match in about a month.

Jesse calls the show War Games. At least he’s realistic about it.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Tracy Smothers

WCW had this weird tendency to have totally random matches like this to flesh out their PPVs which are always odd. They’re not particularly bad but they’re just odd. Badd is fairly flamboyant at this point but is popular to a degree I guess. Ok given that pop he’s very popular. Imagine a gay Little Richard. That’s the only way to describe this guy. He’s very much in the mold of Rico, down to the makeup and the feathers on the clothes. Women put money in his kneepads.

Badd gets a rollup about three seconds in for two. Tracy Smothers is more commonly known as a member of the FBI. This would be a Cruiserweight match four or five years later. Jesse always had this theory that the loser of a #1 contender match (this isn’t one) wouldn’t be able to get another chance at a title shot for a year minimum. In WWF’s tag division back in the late 80s that was true but not here.

Smothers could throw some karate stuff in when he wanted to and it’s very fun. Smothers hits a top rope back elbow and I love it. I have no idea why I love that move so much but I always have. Mostly Smothers so far but nothing that bad. Sunset flip is blocked but Smothers puts his arms up and gets taken over anyway. Does no one ever watch old tapes at all?

It turns into a boxing match which makes me wonder something. Badd’s finisher is a left hook punch. Why does he not do that right after the match starts? A top rope sunset flip gets the more famous guy two and then the punch ends it.

Rating: C-. Just a wrestling match here but nothing that bad. Johnny would get a decent push soon enough but not a big one for a few years. He got very good very fast but at the moment he was just a comedy character. Smothers was in a tag team but his partner left so he was kind of stuck on his own and no one really cared. Decent enough match though.

The Freebirds talk about how awesome they are and make rock and roll song references. We hear about the NWA Tag Title Tournament which crippled the insanely hot WCW stuff in the next few months. Apparently Stairway to Heaven was a Lynard Skynard song too. I know wrestling rewrites history but dang man.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Marcus Bagwell

Raven vs. Buff Bagwell in case you’re young. Raven vs. a less talented Dolph Ziggler in case you’re REALLY young. I have no idea what Scotty Flamingo’s character was supposed to be but his pink tights and kind of afro are just a weird combination. Jesse gets on Ross for being in high school while Jesse was in Vietnam. Crowd is kind of dead for this and I can’t say I particularly blame them. Both of these guys are relatively young and not very good yet.

How exactly do you whip someone with authority? There is a grand total of nothing going on here. It’s not bad but it’s just there. After like seven minutes, Bagwell hits the Perfectplex but Scotty gets the ropes. He rolls up Bagwell and uses the ropes to get the pin.

Rating: C. Just an average match again and nothing particularly good. It was just kind of there: nothing particularly good, nothing particularly bad, but nothing I’m going to remember in about 40 minutes either way. They got better with different gimmicks later on but at this point they were pretty bad.

Ad for Beach Blast which was an AWESOME show.

Abdullah and Cactus were beating up Simmons at Superbrawl and JYD who is apparently a legend of some kind comes down and saves him.

Mr. Hughes/Cactus Jack vs. Ron Simmons/Junkyard Dog

No idea why Hughes is there instead of Abdullah but whatever. Cactus jumps JYD on the way to the ring and beats the living tar out of him. And people wonder why I love Foley. Being this insane wasn’t done back in the day so Jack was definitely a scary character back then. Simmons was a hot thing back then and would be world champion in the fall. JYD gets taken off so this more or less becomes a singles match.

Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons

Officially isn’t a handicap but Jack is acting like a manager here. You could really tell they were getting the idea of how useful Foley could be around this time and it worked. Simmons beats them both up and I’m sure this had nothing to do with the racial issues going on behind the scenes at this point. I always liked him back then though as he was kind of a Rock like character as he was a beast athletically but not much on the mic at all.

We get a Bill Watts reference but I don’t think he had taken over yet. Hughes was a guy that I never got the appeal of but he did his job very well as a big monster that anyone could bring in for a quick feud with a face. This is a glorified squash for Simmons as there was no way he was going to lose here. Simmons hits a spinebuster and after Cactus comes in a shot to the knee ends it. Kind of weird.

Rating: D+. Nothing that special here but it was a way to get Simmons over which was the idea here. It was also less than six minutes long which was a good thing for them here as Hughes was never really that good. Jack vs. Simmons would turn out to be a decent little match and feud but it never went anywhere due to Watts and the NWA screwing it up.

Super Invader vs. Todd Champion

Super Invader is Hercules in a mask. Champion was half of a tag team that was completely awful but got the US Tag Titles anyway. Harley Race is Invader’s manager here which doesn’t help him that much. This isn’t much at all but it’s just filler until the main event because everyone worth anything is in that match. We go to a chinlock early on as this isn’t much of a match at all.

Something tells me they weren’t planning on this being anything resembling a classic at all as yet again it’s just there because they’re fairly competent in the ring an can fill a total of 8 minutes or so out there. Jesse mentions that he’s got a job at Beach Blast, which would wind up being the judge in the bikini contest.

Invader does the jump off the top into a boot while clearly doing nothing but going to the top to jump into the boot so the other guy can take over spot. Champion makes a very brief comeback and a powerbomb ends it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. The majority of the match is a chinlock and since Hercules was on the downside of his career and not very good even at his best, this wasn’t anything at all of note. Boring match and can we please get on to something else?

Big Josh vs. Richard Morton

Big Josh used to be Doink and now he’s a woodsman that dances with bear cubs. Morton used to be in the Rock N Roll Express and now is part of a corporate stable that was managed by Alexandra York, as in Terri Runnels. Something tells me that again this isn’t going to be an incredibly interesting match. After this though there are far less filler matches and things pick up a lot of steam, which is definitely a good thing.

Morton dressed somewhat up is a very bizarre sight. Less than a minute in and we’re at five people going to the concession stand etc. Make that six. Much like the last three matches there’s no point to this at all and is just there to cover some time. Morton rips the shirt open on Josh and he gets ticked off. I guess he’s a redneck Hogan fan or something.

Morton looks like he always has which takes away the whole heel thing here. No one ever accused him of being the smartest guy I guess though. This is a weird power vs. speed/mat based thing. It’s not bad I guess but it’s just not that interesting. Josh hits a nice belly to belly which is just pure power. You can tell the announcers are pretty bored as they’re talking about War Games instead. I can’t blame them as there isn’t much to say here. Josh just kind of beats him up a good bit and then hits his seated senton for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it’s not bad I guess. The three or four filler matches in a row are FAR too many though and the show is suffering because of it. These are both good workers but with no point to the match at all, this was just there. It’s not bad but it needed a reason to care about it as the wrestling isn’t good enough to carry it on its own.

Light Heavyweight Title: Flying Brian vs. Z-Man

This should be awesome. These two used to be the US Tag Champions. Jesse wants the cheating to start before the match even begins. I love heel announcers when they’re good at what they do and he’s one of the best of them. They keep doing the same stuff because they know each other so well. That’s an old tactic but it works very well no matter what so I can’t complain.

Crowd is oddly dead here, but I think it’s because there hasn’t been much to cheer for in about an hour. Jesse does some play by play here which is very different. Him basically drooling over the idea of a punch being thrown is great. This starts off pretty slowly but it’s going with the slow build as you can tell the ending is going to be awesome. Z-Man misses a Vader Bomb so Pillman can take over again.

And now it’s half crab time for no apparent reason. Pillman would soon join up with Austin to make the Hollywood Blondes who were as awesome as you can be in a 6 month reign as a team. A figure four goes on and Z-Man has a bad knee. They’re going with a more mat based and psychology heavy match here and it’s working rather well. The crowd is hot for it which is a good thing.

Z-Man can sell the knee work very well too. Crucifix, one of Pillman’s signature moves, gets two. Jesse is BEGGING for them to cheat. Z-Man gets a cross body but goes too high with it and nearly breaks Pillman’s neck (which more or less happened at last year’s Wrestle War which we’ll get to later) but it only gets two.

Both guys are down and more or less out. In a nice bit of psychology, Z-Man fakes a knee injury and kicks Pillman as he’s coming down in a cross body. Nice move out of Bret Hart’s book….although that might not have been written yet. Z-Man misses a missile dropkick and Pillman gets a rollup to retain. Nice ending.

Rating: B+. Another very good match here. Pillman was just awesome at this point and this was no exception. Excellent match here with two guys just going out there and having a blast. Z-Man was insane for the most part and it’s a shame because he was so good in the ring when he wasn’t ticked off. This was a great match with a mixture of a lot of styles. I can’t quite get it into the A range, but it’s well worth watching if you’re bored.

Steiner Brothers vs. Tatsumi Fujiname/Takayuki Iizuka

The winners are #1 contenders to the IWGP Tag Titles, held by a team called Big Bad and Dangerous, more commonly known as IC’s wet dream: Vader and Bam Bam Bigelow. Why the WCW Tag Champions would want to get the New Japan Tag Titles is beyond me but soon enough the NWA would screw up everything by taking everyone in WCW that meant anything and some NJPW guys and putting them in a tag title tournament which just HAD to be held at Great American Bash.

Back in the day, WCW was all that the NWA had. They just didn’t want to admit that without WCW, the NWA was dead. The WCW tag titles meant more than the NWA Titles and everyone knew it except the NWA. So of course they hijacked the PPV for their own stuff and it bombed but whatever. That’s another review for another day.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Fujinami is absolutely awesome in every sense of the word. Iizuka didn’t mean anything at this point but he would becomes a fairly big deal in tag wrestling in Japan over the 90s. Nothing huge though. Jesse goes into a small rant about Japan taking all the jobs and you can hear the politics in his voice already. Scott breaks out the Blockbuster which is even rarer than the Screwdriver. It’s a fallaway slam with a floatover. It’s very hard to hit and he mostly botches the first. Second is great though.

Iizuka is a high flier that would be decent today but back then was insane. This is the Scott Steiner that was completely awesome and everyone knew it. He’s a one man wrecking crew here and takes down Iizuka with a combination powerbomb and elbow drop with help from Rick. Ok so maybe he’s a one and a second man wrecking crew. Rick does one of my favorite spots ever as the Japanese guys have him up for a Doomsday Device but Rick pulls Fujinami out of the air while he’s going for the clothesline and lands in a belly to belly suplex. It just looks amazing every time he did it which was rare.

They I guess heels work on Rick’s leg which doesn’t work that well at all. Basically this is the Steiners getting to show off and then let the other guys beat on them for a bit. Fujinami goes WAY old school by hooking an abdominal stretch and rolling back into a pin with it for two. The xenophobic crowd chants USA. Iizuka kicks the heck out of Scott who just tackles him and beats the tar out of him for his trouble.

Ok, I had to stop the tape for a second there because that might have been the coolest spot I’ve ever seen. The Japanese guys both have top wristlocks on Scott and he lifts himself up and does a standing backflip to slingshot them into the corner and then misses a double clothesline to send them into the corner where Rick comes off with a double clothesline from the top rope. Keep in mind that Scott weighs about 270 and he did that with ease. This is getting a higher grade for that spot alone.

Dragon Sleeper (Fujinami invented it) is kind of on but Scott gets the rope. Rick gets the hot tag and everything goes crazy for a bit. Crowd is way into this. Rick gets him up on top and hits one heck of a belly to belly for the pin. Iizuka was in free fall for a little bit and it looked awesome.

Rating: A-. Better than the previous match but not by much. This had some of the coolest spots I can ever remember as Scott was just absolutely amazing at this time and he was showing off here. That backflip spot was incredible to say the least. The Steiners were gone in November when they went to the WWF, but if this is their last great match it was a freaking awesome one to say the least. Great match but never really any doubt as to the winners, which hurts it a bit.

And now, the greatest gimmick match in the history of WCW.

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet GOODNESS there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just cleaning house here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

Overall Rating: B. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that isn’t good isn’t good. I won’t call it bad because it’s not bad, but there’s some stuff here that just doesn’t need to be on PPV. However with 10 guys in the main event there’s only so much you can do without filler. I’d watch this with a remote in my hand and fast forward some of the filler stuff.

It doesn’t matter which you fast forward as they’re all about the same and none breaks seven and a half minutes so it’s not like they go on forever or anything. The main event is must see and the two matches prior to it are certainly worth watching. WCW in 1992 is a very underrated time and this plus Beach Blast are the best examples of that. And then Bill Watts came in and ruined all that but whatever. Well worth seeing overall, but make sure you watch the main event and take notes. It’s that good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://wreg.com/2012/09/28/jerry-lawler/

If he manages to do that, that’s pretty awesome just five weeks after a heart attack.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 1997
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 6,627
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s the night after Ground Zero where Undertaker beat up Shawn in one of the best fights you’ll ever see. Shawn ran, which means we need to find a place to put them so Shawn can’t run anymore. The solution: a huge cage that surrounds the ring. Shawn will be trapped in there, like he’s in a nightmare. Get where I’m going with this? Let’s get to it.

We open with stills from the show last night which also show Bret retaining the title against the Patriot.

Theme song.

Here’s Vince to open the show and bring in Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner. Slaughter promises to maintain order in the WWF because that’s what Gorilla Monsoon (president of the company) ordered him to do. As for Austin, he’s suspended until Slaughter gets medical clearance for him. There’s going to be a tournament for Austin’s IC Title with the finals at Bad Blood. Austin will be there to forfeit the title and hand the belt to the new champion.

This brings out Austin to make fun of Slaughter’s ample gut. He says he won’t deliver the title to anyone and gives Slaughter a Stunner. Vince gets in Austin’s face but referees pull them apart. I don’t think Vince had been revealed as the owner of the company yet so Austin looks like he’s bullying an announcer. Austin jumps in on commentary because he feels like it. Then he jumps off commentary.

Post break Vince and JR complain about Austin. We get a clip of Austin stunning JR last night and what happened a few minutes ago.

Austin is being thrown out of the building.

We recap Bret vs. Vader from a few weeks ago when Vader snapped and the Hart Foundation had to save Bret, resulting in Vader being attacked by five guys. Then Vader went after Bret during Bret’s match with the Patriot, leading to this.

Bret Hart vs. Vader

No holds barred and this is non-title with Bret as world champion. Bret runs down Cincinnati for naming a street after Pete Rose. What did Rose ever do to the WWF to deserve all the stuff he gets from them? Bret nails Vader with the belt as he gets in and pounds away in the corner to start. The place erupts when Vader comes back and he gets the belt for a shot to Bret’s back.

Vader breaks the Canadian flag and Bret tries to run. They head to the floor and Vader gets sent into the steps which are then dropped on his back. Vader shrugs that off and here comes the Bulldog as we take a break. Back with Vader punching Bret in the face back inside. Bulldog is still on the ramp. Bret kicks Vader low and drops some forearms to the face. Some headbutts stagger Vader and there’s a snap suplex.

Bret undoes the pad on a buckle but doesn’t get it off. Vader splashes Bret in the corner and sends him chest first into the buckle. The powerbomb lays Bret out but Bulldog breaks up the Vader Bomb. The Foundation pounds Vader in the corner until the Patriot comes out for the save. Owen comes out and Bret gets a chair to knock out both Americans. The Harts load up a piledriver on a chair for Patriot but Austin runs in for the save. He chases the Harts off with the chair and the match is thrown out.

Rating: B-. There’s a reason 1997 is remembered so fondly: the wrestling was great in the main event scene and this was a good example. This was a very good brawl with both guys pounding away on each other and neither guy backing down at all. Austin coming in at the end was fine but the match being thrown out was a bit annoying. Fun opener though.

We recap the Headbangers winning the tag titles last night.

We come back to the arena to see the Godwinns destroying some jobbers. They want to face the Headbangers right now.

Headbangers vs. Godwinns

This is non-title. The non-champions jump the champions as they come in and we start with Phineas and Thrasher. The Godwinn takes over and it’s quickly off to Henry who runs Thrasher over as well. Phineas comes in and charges into a boot, allowing Thrasher to tag in Mosh. Everything breaks down and the Godwinns’ new manager comes in, blasts Mosh in the back of the head, and gives Phineas the pin. This was short and stupid considering the Bangers are the new champions.

Henry introduces the guy as Uncle Cleetus, played by former wrestler TL Hopper/The Dirty White Boy.

House show ads.

We recap Goldust losing to Pillman last night, resulting in Goldust losing Marlena to Pillman for 30 days. This was supposed to result in Marlena leaving Goldie for Pillman but Pillman died before this could happen.

Here’s Sunny who still looks great here. Apparently she’s going to be interviewing people outside of the showers tonight. First though, she’s ring announcing.

Intercontinental Title Tournament: Dude Love vs. Brian Pillman

Dude and Austin had been tag champions until last night when they had to forfeit due to Austin’s neck injury. Dude says he’s not in the groove tonight so he brings out Goldust for moral support. Goldie has half of his face painted and half with the usual skin. Pillman is the hometown boy….but he’s not here. His voice comes in over the phone saying that he’s not going to be here until the company guarantees him and Pillman a safe environment. Plus he’s exhausted from last night. Pillman does however have a tape called Brian Pillman’s X-Files.

It’s Pillman in a hotel room in a towel with a camera set up like he’s going to shoot a sex video. He’s smoking a cigar but there’s no Marlena in sight. Pillman holds up her underwear and drops the towel to reveal his underwear. Ok then. Part 2 is coming later. Presumably dude advances.

Hour #2 starts.

Piratita Morgan vs. Max Mini

Great. It’s a midget match. Morgan is a pirate and Mini is a very small guy who can fly all over the place. Last night Max jumped in Jerry’s lap and put the crown on which was amusing. They head to the floor almost immediately and Mini hits an Asai Moonsault. He follows that up with a suicide somersault plancha. Back inside and Max hooks a crucifix for the pin. This was pure filler.

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn was a hero for a long time but he was the guest referee at Summerslam and cost Undertaker the title with a missed chair shot. Then he turned full on heel with another chair shot later on Raw.

There go the lights and here he comes. Taker talks about how last night he and Shawn opened the gates of Hell and now they’re going to be locked inside of it at Bad Blood. Shawn pops up on screen and says he’ll survive no matter what happens in the Cell. He’s not going down alone though because if he goes into the coffin, Taker is going with him. Taker says nothing of note to end the segment.

Owen says he isn’t concerned with Austin lurking around.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Dude Love

Brian Pillman

Goldust

Owen Hart

Ken Shamrock

Faarooq

Ahmed Johnson

Rocky Maivia

So Dude doesn’t advance. I guess he’ll have to (a)bide his time until the match happens for real.

Intercontinental Title Tournament: Owen Hart vs. Goldust

Goludust charges in and pounds away on Owen, clotheslining him to the floor. Goldie drops him throat first on the barricade and hits a bulldog. Owen finally low blows him to get a breather and then take over. Owen still has his jacket on. A middle rope elbow hits Goldust so Goldust hits Owen low twice for the DQ to advance Owen.

The Harts come in for the post match beatdown but Austin comes in through the crowd with a broom to clean (hehe) house.

Austin leaves through the crowd and it’s time for part 2 of the Pillman X-Files. Pillman says this segment can’t go on long because Terri needs a shower, which she’s apparently in now. Pillman says to get a good night’s sleep because he certainly won’t be.

The Hart Foundation isn’t pleased with what just happened. Smith is ready for Shawn at One Night Only, a British PPV.

Here’s Savio Vega for commentary for the main event for some reason. He won a triple threat match last night and the main event is a triple threat so his expertise is needed here.

Patriot vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. British Bulldog

Shawn and HHH jump the Bulldog on his way to the ring. They ram his knee into the ramp and crush it with a chair to set up the match at One Night Only. Back from a break and Savio has jumped into the match and is replacing Bulldog I guess. This is back when the match wasn’t a total cliché that was required at least once a month. HHH gets double teamed and elbowed down but the alliance ends quickly with Patriot clotheslining HHH down and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Savio gets knocked to the floor and HHH drops a knee on Patriot for two. HHH pounds away on Patriot’s head but Savio comes gets jealous and pounds away on Patriot instead. I’ve never understood the logic behind that: why not let HHH expend energy and then jump him later on? Shawn comes out for commentary as we take a break.

Back with Savio hitting a spinwheel kick in the corner on HHH, followed by a DDT from Patriot on the future Game for two. Patriot and Savio take turns beating on HHH but neither guy can get more than a one. Patriot suplexes Savio down but HHH breaks it up before there’s even a cover. Savio tries a sunset flip on HHH and after Patriot breaks up HHH’s hold on the ropes, it gets two.

The fans are booing something here and to be fair, it’s probably the match as it’s not working at all for the most part. Shawn is ripping Vince apart on commentary because of how stupid Vince sounds. Savio kicks HHH’s head off, making Shawn speak Spanish. Savio puts a headscissors on HHH and Patriot puts a headscissors on Savio at the same time as we take a break.

Back with Patriot chopping away on Savio and vice versa. HHH breaks up a cover on Savio and the booing gets louder. Patriot and HHH literally stand still and choke each other as a LOUD boring chant breaks out. Vince complains about Shawn’s change of attitude. Shawn: “Well it was you that told me to change.”

The Pedigree is countered and Savio lands on the referee. HHH throws Patriot to the floor and loads up a Pedigree on Savio, only to be catapulted into Patriot, crotching the guy that comes out to Kurt Angle’s music (Patriot if you’re kind of slow). Savio kicks HHH’s head off but Shawn distracts him before the cover. HHH rams Savio into the Patriot and rolls up Vega for the pin.

Rating: D-. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? They should be made to sit and watch this match over and over again until they scream for mercy. I mean DANG this didn’t work at all. Someone thought giving this SEVENTEEN MINUTES was a good idea. Savio comes completely out of nowhere (he had been feuding with the original Nation of Domination) and jumps in the match, which makes absolutely no sense. Taking Bulldog out was a problem as at least he would have given us three distinct groups (Harts, Anti-Harts, future DX) in the match, but instead it was a total mess and VERY dull. Terrible main event.

DX (not yet named that) all get chairs as Vader, Patriot and Savio surround the ring. The Harts come out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event cripples this show something fierce. Usually one match isn’t going to hurt a show this badly, but when it’s this dull and goes on for nearly TWENTY MINUTES, it’s going to bring things down. Other than that this was pretty good stuff with the Harts still looking awesome and the Cell on the horizon, which means the introduction of Kane. 1997 was an awesome year for the company from a quality standpoint and it was clear that once they got the fans’ attention, WCW was going to be in real trouble. Well, as long as you keep Savio and the Patriot away from each other.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In the immortal words of one of my heroes Lucille Ball, I’ve got an idea.I’ve already started this, but starting October 24, I’ll be posting NEW versions of the Big Four PPVs.  Just like I do every year, I’ll be counting up to the new Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania and Summerslam, but between now and the time the count-ups begin, I’ll be rewatching and re-reviewing ALL of the shows.  Those were the first reviews I ever did and I’m really not that happy with the quality levels, so I think it’s time for a redo.  before anyone asks, no, I won’t be doing any other PPVs over again.  Most of them other than these are from when I had a better idea of what I was doing.  The other ones from this time period are In Your House, and I don’t think people (myself included) care enough to have those redone.

KB

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2012
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s tag team show, it’s time to put some focus on the world title match at the upcoming PPV. By that I mean actually setting up a match there. The main event for tonight is Orton vs. Big Show which would be fine to make a #1 contenders match. Show returned from a brief absence on Monday and beat up various big men so I guess he’s a heel again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Garrett Bischoff. Why is he back on my TV screen now?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show says he wants the world title because he lost the title in 45 seconds last time. Then the guy that beat him lost the title in 18 seconds. Show didn’t get to be in the main event of Wrestlemania and he didn’t get to be champion and that’s not cool with him. He says he’s the only person that can beat Sheamus, but here’s Orton with a rebuttal.

Orton says that to deserve a shot at Sheamus, you have to go through him. That’s perfect as tonight’s match is for the #1 contendership. Show says tonight it’s either going to be an RKO or a KO. Here’s Alberto and please don’t make this a triple threat. Please. Del Rio says the two of them need to go to the back of the line, and there’s an RKO for him to end this segment. THANK GOODNESS.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro pounds him down to start as Matthews talks about how Santino and the Cobra have made up. Some suplexes from the champ (Cesaro) and puts on a cravate before Santino makes his comeback. The gutwrench suplex is countered into a sunset flip but the European Uppercut puts Marella down. The second attempt at the suplex hits but Cesaro talks enough trash to let Santino hit a superkick of all things for two. Cesaro goes up but Santino makes the stop and backdrops Antonio off the top. Santino misses a top rope headbutt and the Neutralizer retains the title at 4:10.

Rating: C. This was by far the most competitive match these two have ever had but they’re almost a month after the point where people buy Sanitno has having a chance at beating Cesaro. This is what I don’t get about WWE’s obsession with endless rematches: there’s no one else they’re willing to try out with a title shot? No one at all? I have trouble believing that.

We get the My Name Is Gerald bit from Raw. Kane is so awesome at these things.

Natalya vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match, Eve Touts how serious she takes the attack on Kaitlyn. Feeling out process to start with both girls trying to get control. I believe this is their first ever match. Beth controls on the mat with a headlock but Natalya escapes a slam to tick Phoenix off. Natalya slaps her in the face and the fight is on.

Beth, the hometown girl, hits a Russian legsweep to take over and is put in the Sharpshooter two seconds later. She does the fastest crawl I’ve ever seen to make the rope and Natalya freaks out. Nattie charges at Beth and tries a rolling cradle, only to get caught in the Glam Slam….for two. Natalya grabs a fast rollup but Beth rolls forward into one of her own for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C+. Best Divas match I can remember in a long time here. The hometown thing worked here with the fans being really into Beth. It’s remarkable what you get when you have girls that can wrestle a match and look like they know what they’re doing rather than looking like they’re struggling to remember how to run ropes.

Post match here’s Eve to say that Beth is suspended until the investigation into who attacked Kaitlyn is concluded. Natalya yells at Beth and says not to blame her.

Booker and Teddy talk about a tag team tournament to find #1 contenders for the titles at HIAC. Beth comes in to complain and apparently Booker isn’t even watching the show. Eve pops in and says she has the authority to do that. Booker says Eve doesn’t have that authority and reverses the decision. Eve sucks up as usual and Beth leaves. Booker isn’t happy so Eve blames Teddy. Booker isn’t sure who to trust.

Breast cancer stuff.

Raw ReBound.

Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett

No entrance for Ryder and I think you know where this is going. Barrett immediately shoulders him down then kicks Ryder in the ribs. Pumphandle slam gets two as does a slingshot belly to back backbreaker. Off to a surfboard hold but Ryder fights up and hits a facejam and middle rope missile dropkick. Barrett avoids the Broski Boot and hits a clothesline to send Ryder to the floor. Back inside and the Souvenir ends Ryder at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This was your standard Barrett squash since he came back. The problem with that is these matches aren’t really doing anything for him. He talked about being open for business a few weeks ago and then never mentioned it again. Barrett as a mercenary would work fine given how he always talked about how he was here for the money and not titles. Just squashing jobbers with an elbow to the head isn’t getting him anywhere.

Diner skit #2.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. The guest tonight is Sheamus who interrupts Miz’s intro. Sheamus looks about 300% tougher in jeans when you can’t see those white legs of his. He takes the mic from Miz and thinks Miz is suffering from memory loss after the beatdown from Ryback. Sheamus keeps asking Miz questions but won’t let him answer. He runs down Miz and in a way the IC Title by saying the best Miz can do is host a C list talk show. Miz talks about how he’s in a movie and a book now and you’ll have to pay to see it. You can pay to hear him on Sirius Radio and you can pay to see him compete in the ring.

Miz talks about how Sheamus is going to get taken out by an RKO or a WMD at HIAC. I feel like I’m on Sesame Street. Sheamus says no one takes this championship more seriously than he does and while he likes to have fun and joke around, the title means more to him than anything. Since Sheamus is cutting a good promo, here’s Vickie to interrupt him.

She introduces Ziggler and says that he’s the real guy Sheamus needs to worry about at the PPV. Ziggler says the main event tonight as well as Sheamus’ title reign is irrelevant because Ziggler is the next champion. Sheamus says Ziggler may get lucky with a cash-in…and that’s all he says. Then he jumps Ziggler and Miz and launches them both to the floor.

This segment was going well until Ziggler came out and said the exact same thing he’s been saying for four months. It’s really hard to buy Ziggler as a real threat when Sheamus has beaten him so many times. Once he wins the title, it’s going to take awhile to take him serious as a champion, but that’s clearly his fault and not the company’s for having him lose over and over again right?

We get the brackets for the tag team tournament:

Usos

Rhodes Scholars

Marella/Ryder

Gabriel/Kidd

Kingston/R-Truth

Prime Time Players

Epico/Primo

Mysterio/Sin Cara

We get the full Lawler interview from Raw. That’s still awesome. One question though: is it still a Raw exclusive if it’s shown in full on Smackdown as well?

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sandow and Jimmy start us off. Sandow would be the Scholar and if I have to explain who Rhodes is, you’re beyond my help. Damien controls to start but walks into a Samoan Drop and both guys tag out. Jey hits the running Umaga attack in the corner for two on Cody as things break down a bit. A superkick puts Cody down but Jimmy’s splash hits knees. Cross Rhodes hits and we’re done at 1:54.

Diner sequence #3.

Video on some global summit that WWE was involved in.

Ryback vs. Tensai

Another good reaction for Ryback. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback sends him into the corner. Tensai gets in some headbutts and a splash in the corner but Ryback suplexes Tensai down. The clothesline is countered into a Baldo Bomb for a pair of two counts. Now the clothesline hits and Shell Shock keeps Ryback undefeated at 2:06. The finisher was impressive but I’m not sure this proves that Ryback is for real like Cole says. I mean, it’s just Tensai.

Del Rio attacks Orton in the back on the way to the ring. He slams a case into Orton’s knee as well.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

There’s no Orton due to the attack in the back so here’s Del Rio instead. Del Rio talks for a bit before Orton jumps him and limps to the ring to have the match anyway. After a break we’re ready to go and Orton is very tentative to mix it up for multiple reasons now. Show gets him into the corner but Orton comes out with right hands. Show gets a knee in though and Orton is down quickly.

A second attempt at the chops in the corner is blocked and Show takes him down with a single shot to the ribs. He stands on Randy’s ribs and puts on a stomach claw, which is one of those usually lazy moves that works a bit better for Show. The Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane) gets two but Orton barely has anything left. They head outside and Orton gets dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton trying to make a comeback and countering the chokeslam into a DDT for a very delayed two. Orton can’t follow up at all here because of the ribs. His knee seems to be fine after having a BIG FREAKING CASE slammed into it but you can win them all I guess. Show pounds on the ribs some more and beats on Randy in the corner. We head to the floor and Show gets rammed into the post to give Orton a breather.

As Show is getting back in, Orton tries for the Elevated DDT but he can’t find a way around the powers of fat. Instead he hits an RKO out of nowhere but it only gets two. Orton loads up the Punt as a last resort but charges into a chokeslam….for two. A second chokeslam kills Orton dead for the pin at 9:32 shown of 13:02.

Rating: C+. I liked this match for a few reasons. First and foremost, Big Show is not Alberto Del Rio and he’s getting the next title shot. Second, this match was more realistic than most you’ll see anymore. Orton hit one big move the entire match and other than that it was pretty much a squash. Having Orton be competitive in this match after being attacked would have been absurd, so having Show dominate here made perfect sense. Also, since it deserves a second mention, Del Rio isn’t getting another shot!

Show lays Orton out with the WMD post match and says he’ll see Sheamus at the PPV.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another pretty good episode. Not having Kane and Bryan on the show was likely a good idea after last week. You don’t want to run the risk of running the pairing into the ground and giving them a week off is probably the right idea. Ryback got another win over someone who at least looking intimidating and we have a bunch of tag matches coming up. This show built for the future and it did it in a good way. Good stuff tonight.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Beth Phoenix b. Natalya – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Souvenir

Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow b. Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Rybac b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Big Show b. Randy Orton – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews