Main Event
Date: October 3, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, The Miz

This is the debut of a new show because seven and a half hours of free TV a week wasn’t enough apparently. The main event tonight is Punk vs. Sheamus in a champion vs. champion match which could main event a PPV, but instead we’re getting it on Ion Television at 8pm on a Wednesday night because that’s how WWE works. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just about the exact same thing any opening video is. The theme song sounds like something from Shinedown.

Miz and Cole are in the ring to open things up. Cole talks about the champion vs. champion match which is just thrown together and there’s no reason for them to fight other than they’re champions. They talk about Punk a bit and here’s a video on Punk, likely from his DVD. There are some clips from what looks like IWA-Mid South. This is definitely from the DVD as it talks about his beginnings. We get some OVW and ECW clips as well. We move on to Punk rising up the WWE ladder and I don’t get why we’re seeing this. If this was some big major show it would be one thing, but this is on ION Television, not NBC.

Punk is in the back warming up when Striker has a question for him. He’s going to win tonight and maybe that’ll be enough for him to get some respect.

Sheamus makes fun of Punk for wanting respect and is going to give that to Punk by kicking him in the face.

Here’s a video on Sheamus so he doesn’t get jealous.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

Non-title of course. We get big-match intros at least. Punk grabs a headlock and shouts spots in Sheamus’ ear as is his custom. Sheamus puts on one of his own as it looks like we’re in for a long match. Punk takes him to the corner but Sheamus kicks Punk away. The Smackdown Champion (Sheamus) pulls himself to the top but gets shoved to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus guillotining Punk on the top rope and stomping away in the corner, only to get pulled face first into the middle buckle. Punk drops a knee for no cover. That spot between Sheamus’ eyes seems to be bleeding. Punk goes after the shoulder and hits a neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets back up and starts speeding things up with a high knee followed by a powerslam for two.

Sheamus sets for the ten forearms in the ropes but Punk blocks the first one and hits a high kick for two as we take another break. Back with Sheamus holding his arm on the floor. The arm seems to be fine though as he snaps off a forearm and hits a slingshot shoulder for two. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Punk hides in the corner. The buckle pad is pulled off as Punk is pulled out and there are the ten forearms to the chest.

White Noise gets two and the fans are getting into this. Heyman seems to be praying or muttering to himself at ringside. Sheamus loads up the Cloverleaf but Punk punches his way out of it. There’s a running knee in the corner followed by the Savage Elbow for two. The GTS is countered and Sheaamus gets the Cloverleaf on in the middle of the ring.

Punk manages to get to a rope and Heyman is panicking even more. They both come out of the corner and Punk charges into the Irish Curse. Sheamus charges again but Punk drop toeholds him into the exposed buckle and rolls Sheamus up with the tights for the pin at 12:18 shown of approximately 18:18.

Rating: B. Good match here and the fact that there was as close to a clean pin as there was is amazing. Sheamus hadn’t lost a singles match since like July but at least it was to another main event guy. For a first match on a new show this was excellent and it was a very good match all around anyway.

Post match Sheamus says he gets why Punk doesn’t get respect. He promises a Brogue Kick for Punk in the future.

Miz and Cole talk for a good while.

After a break, Punk and Heyman are incensed at being accused of winning through means not entirely on the level. Heyman wants to know what Punk has to do to earn Josh’s respect and Josh of course says it’s to go inside the Cell with Cena.

The main event for next week is Show vs. Orton so Show says that it’ll be Orton’s last appearance on this show next week.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Santino and Gabriel get things going with Gabriel grabbing a quick headlock. The winners of this get the Rhodes Scholars. Gabriel tries a leg sweep but Santino jumps over it and tries one of his own in slow motion. Off to Ryder and Kidd which goes nowhere so it’s back to Gabriel who double teams with his Canadian buddy. A kick to the face gets two on Ryder and it’s back to Kidd. Kidd and Gabriel work very well together. Kidd launches Ryder over his head and into a kick from Gabriel for two.

Everything breaks down and Santino has issues getting thrown to the floor. Kidd gets a spinning rollup for two but charges into the knees in the corner. Tyson crawls into the corner and looks painfully obvious doing it for the Broski Boot. Ryder hits a good looking flip dive to take Gabriel out and the Cobra advances Santino and Ryder at 4:03.

Rating: C. Gabriel and Kidd looked like a polished team here while Santino and Ryder looked like a pair of comedy guys who got thrown together into a tag team because the fans love both of them. It wasn’t a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there, which is the problem with most tournament matches you’ll ever see.

Overall Rating: B-. this is an interesting show for a number of reasons. First of all, this felt like it was booked in reverse. Isn’t the idea of the main event match on the Main Event show to be THE main event? As in the match that goes on last? Once you watched that match, are most people really going to stick around for a face vs. face tag match? I’d be surprised if they did.

Second, this show really doesn’t need to exist. This easily could have been Superstars put on Wednesday instead of a brand new show. Then again people are probably going to think it’s just something they threw together instead of making a new idea, which is understandable all around.

Finally, I likely won’t be watching this on a regular basis. It’s a perfectly acceptable hour of TV and had a good match, but does anyone really believe this is going to be what the show looks like at the end of the year? WWE will get bored with it and they’ll turn it into Superstars II, which is fine, but don’t expect people to care about it. In short, this show makes eight and a half hours of WWE programming a week, and I was perfectly fine having seven and a half.

Results

CM Punk b. Sheamus – Rollup after a drop toehold into an exposed turnbuckle

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Cobra to Kidd

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

For some reason wrestling fans expect wrestlers to be able to do everything. I’m not sure where this comes from but I think it has something to do with the theory that wrestling is based around being able to do a lot of moves. This is another of those ideas that needs to be crushed and needs to be crushed quickly. Today I’m going to be talking about wrestlers using the moves that they’re supposed to use and why the amount of moves someone uses is completely irrelevant to their talent level. Let’s get to it.

Back in 1997, Shawn Michaels had a “knee injury” and couldn’t wrestle at Wrestlemania 13, so instead he did commentary on the world title match. That night, Sid defended the world title against the Undertaker. During the match, Sid was in control and Shawn said something like “Sid doesn’t deviate from his game plan that much, because that power takes him everywhere he needs to go.”

That right there is a lesson that a large amount of wrestling fans need to learn. Today, you hear people talking about guys like Punk and Bryan and using the words Best in the World to describe them. Their justification for this seems to be that Punk and Bryan put on long and entertaining matches with a wide variety of moves. These same fans tend to criticize guys like Hogan and Cena for using a much smaller moveset.

Think about it: how many times have you heard someone criticize Cena because “he only knows five moves”? If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it way too many times. This is a stupid thing to say for a number of reasons which we’ll cover today. Not only is this stupid to say about Cena, but it’s a stupid thing to say about anyone.

Let’s take a look at the greatest wrestler of all time: Hulk Hogan. Love him, hate him, whatever you think about him, there is zero denying that since 1980, no one has had a bigger influence on professional wrestling. No one has been a bigger star than Hogan and few have become a bigger household name (which is another article for another time as well). In short, he’s the biggest star ever in wrestling and there isn’t much to argue about that.

Now that being said, I don’t think anyone would call Hogan a ring general, in the sense that he wrestled a lot of matches the exact same way. Hogan had a formula to his matches and he rarely shifted from that formula. There isn’t much denying of that, nor is there really any denying that Hogan used probably less than ten different moves (punch, big boot, legdrop, high knee, choke, back rake, suplex, ax bomber and that’s about all that jumps to mind) in his entire career.

Here’s the big secret though: there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hogan wrestled a very basic style and found something that worked (aside: how many botches can you think of from Hogan when he was in the red and yellow? I’d be impressed if you could come up with more than five. The guy was a very safe worker which he never gets credit for) so he never really shifted from it.

Why did Hogan never change or mix it up? Well why should he have done so? Hogan got some of the biggest reactions for well over 20 years doing the exact same stuff, and it never stopped working. Hogan got to the top of the wrestling world using the same formula and it never stopped at all. Somehow being the biggest star ever made him into the worst wrestler ever.

Another subject that often gets the same reaction is the current biggest star in the world, John Cena. I’ve never been what you would call a Cena hater. I’ve never come close to one and I likely never will be one. I’m not a huge Cena fan either, but I respect the guy. One of the biggest knocks on Cena is that he doesn’t have as wide ranging of a moveset as Bryan or Punk. This is another criticism that has a true premise (Bryan and Punk likely do have more variety in their offense) but an untrue conclusion (this makes them better wrestlers).

Cena’s offense (which has more than five moves: shoulder block, AA, STF, Shuffle, top rope legdrop, spinout slam. There, idea proven wrong) is one based around firing up the crowd at the right times. Look at his matches with Punk. I don’t think anyone would suggest that they’re boring and I don’t think anyone would suggest they’re bad. Cena and Hogan both are masters at making comebacks and working a crowd, just like guys like Bret and Shawn were.

This is what makes Hogan and Cena great: they know how to work a crowd. Look at the biggest names in the history of wrestling (in no order): Hogan, Cena, Rock, Austin. What do these four have in common? Among many other things, they play to the crowd. That’s what makes them great. They get the fans to care about them and get the crowd to care about them. The true test of the greatness of a wrestler is the amount of a reaction they can draw from an audience.

Think of it like this: when is the last time you remember Cena coming out to no reaction? Ask the same question about Rock, Austin or Hogan. The people respond to them and care about them. How many wrestlers have you seen come out and no one moves? How many times have you seen a tag match with the hot tag without a reaction from the crowd? The match may be fine from a technical standpoint, but no one cares at all. I can’t count how many indy matches I’ve watched with a lot of flips and high flying moves and ten minutes after the match I can’t remember the people in it. That’s not a good sign.

Let’s take a look at another side of this. Another criticism of guys like Cena or Hogan is that they don’t know how to perform moves like Punk and Bryan do. Is this honestly believed? Do you think Cena couldn’t do a hurricanrana if he tried to and practiced it? Let’s take a look at this from the other perspective: what do you think would happen if Punk tried to AA the Big Show? Even with months if not years of physical training, do you think he could pull it off on that frame? Cena uses his physical abilities in the right way. Here’s another example of that which might make a little more sense.

When the names of worst wrestlers in the world are brought up, one that is often mentioned is The Great Khali. Usually when people say this, I roll my eyes because it’s clear these people have little idea what they’re talking about. Khali is legitimately over 7’0 and weighs probably 400lbs or so. He has physical attributes that only a handful of people on the planet have. In other words, almost no one in the wrestling world are built like Khali.

SO WHY WOULD PEOPLE WANT HIM TO WRESTLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE??? Khali doesn’t run the ropes or use armbars and wristlocks because it would be REALLY stupid for him to do so. He’s a freaking giant, meaning that everything he does is enhanced. Khali using a simple move like a chop isn’t the same as say Michael McGillicutty using a chop. You’re talking about a guy’s arm probably being ten feet off the ground and coming down with 400lbs of weight powering it. His size alone makes it look painful.

No, Khali can’t get down on the mat like a Bret Hart or fly through the air like a Kofi Kingston, but Bret Hart can’t make power moves look as devastating as Khali and Kofi can’t realistically use a chokebomb as a finisher. It would make no sense for them to try because that’s not their natural strength. Complaining because Khali can’t perform basic wrestling moves is ridiculous because he doesn’t need to perform them to be effective.

In short, the idea that a wrestler’s ability is tied to the amount of moves that he uses is ridiculous. To say that for example Daniel Bryan is a better wrestler than Cena because he uses a ton of submissions makes no sense. If that’s what determined who the best wrestlers in the world were, William Regal vs. Dean Malenko would have headlined about seven Wrestlemanias in a row. Wrestling is a performance first, not an athletic event first. It’s about using what works, not using everything there is.

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 4, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory with this show and then one more next week before the biggest show of the year. Last week Hogan and Sting agreed to a tag team match against two Aces and 8’s guys at the PPV and it’ll be Sting and someone else, possibly RVD, to face the bikers. However, the deal is nothing else happens from Aces and 8’s until the PPV, so it’s not likely that’s what we’re going to be discussing tonight. Let’s get to it.

Normal recaps open things up.

Hogan and Sting are in Hogan’s office but Hogan can’t be with Sting at the PPV. Sting is going to watch every match tonight to determine who his partner is going to be at BFG.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

Anderson says he wants to be Sting’s partner and to watch him do his thing here. Gunner immediately jumps Anderson to take over. Anderson knocks him to the floor but Gunner takes over back inside. A quick chinlock doesn’t really get Gunner anywhere so he whips Anderson into the corner only to miss a charge. Mic Check gets the pin at 2:28.

Post match Kid Kash comes in to beat on Anderson but gets Mic Checked as well.

Tara is on the phone with her boyfriend when Gail comes up. They have a tag match later and Tara insults Gail’s cable TV star husband, who is a TV chef I think.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher/ODB

ODB and Gail start things off with the bigger chick throwing Gail into the corner. The beating continues with ODB in complete control. Off to Tess for a Stink Face because that’s what she’s good for. ODB comes back in and misses the Bronco Buster but saves herself before pain hits her crotch. Off to Tara who can’t get out of the way of the Bronco Buster but a Gail distraction allows the heels to take over.

Tara and Gail keep having issues as Tara wants to come in and get the glory after Gail does the work. Tara’s standing moonsault hits ODB’s knee and it’s off to Tessmacher to very little reaction. A headscissors takes Tara down as does a faceplant out of the corner. ODB gets a shot from the flask and spears Gail down but Gail comes back in and is shoved by Tara into Tessmacher. The Widow’s Peak pins Tessmacher at 4:44.

Rating: C. The Knockouts are a shell of what they used to be but there’s an angle here which is tried and true over time (teacher vs. student) and it’s hard to screw up. On top of that we have the mystery of Tara’s boyfriend which could wind up being something interesting. Either that or it’s Jason Hervey which would just be stupid.

Bruce Pritchard is showing Al Snow something on a contract and Snow says he’ll get it done.

We recap Al Snow vs. Joey Ryan over the months.

Here’s Snow and he brings out Joey Ryan with something to say to him. Snow says that several months ago he did something he shouldn’t have and put himself and TNA in a bad position. He offers an apology to Ryan but that’s not good enough for Joey, who wants it more personalized. Ryan says tonight he’s in control and wants to hear about the other legal agreement they’ve come to. Snow pulls out a contract for Ryan but Joey wants to sign it on Snow’s back. There’s a catch though: Ryan has a match with Snow for BFG and it’s win and get a full time contract.

Angle wants to pull a double at BFG but Sting will only think about it. Kaz and Daniels are seen in the back hoping that Sting says yes. Angle leaves but Ray steps in and says he should be in the world title match, but he’ll take a spot on Sting’s team instead. Sting says go be a bully and prove your worth.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rob Van Dam

Joe won the title last week and it’s his first defense. That’s a different belt than the one he held last week too. Joe takes him down to start but Van Dam comes back with a few forearms. Those get him nowhere as Joe clotheslines him down and hits an enziguri in the corner. Van Dam tries his rolling roll up but Joe catches the leg and puts on an STF. They head to the floor and Van Dam dropkicks the leg out before trying to drape the wide load over the barricade.

That fails due to the laws of gravity and RVD gets rammed into the steps for his efforts. Back inside and Van Dam hits a middle rope cross body to put Joe down but he goes up top WAY too fast. Joe pulls him off the top and the MuscleBuster is enough to retain the title at 4:27. I miss that move.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have any time to get going but it worked while it lasted. Joe being all dominant and tough again is a good thing as he’s one of the guys that is hard to screw up when he’s booked right. RVD continues to be kind of there in TNA. He doesn’t really do anything but he’s a big enough deal that he can be thrown into whatever story and fit. Match was short but it was decent while it lasted.

Everyone in the tag team triple threat but Angle gets in an argument about last week and Chavo losing the match because of interference.

Dixie talks about her BFG memories.

Aries talked to Hardy earlier today about their tag match last week where Hardy stole the pin after Aries did the work. Ray comes up and says he’s not going to punch either of them right now, but he’ll punch one of them later. It’s to prove himself to Sting by beating Hardy. Aries takes offense to this and wants to fight Ray instead. They argue so Hardy suggests a triple threat. Ray is cool with that.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

No Kazarian? I would have thought it would be another triple threat like last week but this is a nice surprise. Feeling out process to start with Chavo hooking a headlock that can’t be broken by an Angle suplex. That’s quite the headlock. Angle takes him into the corner and stomps away but Chavo comes back with some uppercuts. Angle finally gets Chavo on the mat with a go behind grip and a kind of slam gets two.

Back up and Chavo dropkicks Kurt down and literally rolls onto him for two. A release belly to belly puts Chavo down but he escapes the Angle Slam and hits a quick rana for two. It’s time for Three Amigos but Angle blocks the third and rolls some Germans. The ankle lock is countered and there are the Three Amigos in full. The Frog Splash misses and there’s the Angle Slam. Hernandez looks at Angle and the distraction is enough for Chavo to roll up Kurt for the pin at 6:42.

Rating: B-. Another pretty good but short match here. I don’t know what the deal is with that unless Angle is still hurt and can’t go at full speed yet. His thigh is taped up so maybe there’s something not quite healed yet. They’ve done a good job with the three way feud and I’m digging the idea of the match at the PPV. Pretty good stuff here.

Hernandez and AJ get in for a staredown as the tag champs stand on the stage.

X-Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Zema Ion

Williams starts out fast and clotheslines Ion to the floor. Ion is defending in case you had forgotten this title existed. Back in and Ion cranks on the arm with a hold and Williams taps almost immediately at 1:19.

Ion won’t let go and the decision is reversed. He says he’s on the top of Sting’s list but he wants off it, because his looks aren’t worth the risk.

We look at King Mo, an MMA guy who is coming to TNA and will be guest referee for Storm vs. Roode because that match needs a guest referee for some reason.

Pritchard and Brown are looking at a video of Matt Morgan running in at a house show and beating up a referee. Pritchard yells at Brown for letting this happen.

Here’s Storm to talk about the match with Roode a bit more. Ten days from now this war with Roode started and at BFG, it’s not about proving that Storm is a better fighter or a better wrestler. It’s about being a better man. Hogan doesn’t like the referees being pushed around so he’s brought in King Mo to be the guest referee. Cue Roode for the interruption.

Roode accuses Storm of riding his coattails and being jealous of Roode for years. Bobby promises that this isn’t just a match, but it’s going to be a fight. He’s not going to stop at BFG until he knows Storm’s career is over. It’s going to be a bloodbath and Roode doesn’t care about King Mo, because no one is going to stop him at the PPV. If Mo were here, Roode would say it to his face. Mo comes out in a glittery silver robe, MMA gloves, a big freaking medallion and a crown and shoves Roode down. Mo gets in the ring in Storm’s face and they share a beer.

Hogan has picked his guy and has it written down, because he can’t say it to Sting who is right next to him. Sting likes the idea but wants to see Bully first.

Aces and 8’s tortures Joseph Park a bit more. He’s been kidnapped for three weeks now. WHY HAS NO ONE CALLED THE COPS??? They tear Park’s shirt off and apparently are going to attack car battery clamps to his nipples. We’re going to find out who their two guys are tonight to face Sting and whoever it is.

Joe vs. Magnus at BFG. That was obvious and that’s the right call for sure.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Non-title here. This is joined in progress after a break with Ray knocking down Hardy in the ring. Aries is on the floor I presume but he pops back in as Hardy is sent to the floor. Aries and Hardy start working together with some Poetry in Motion with Aries playing Matt. The legdrop between the legs and a low dropkick set up a Twisting Stunner to Ray and Jeff goes up. There’s the Swanton but Aries makes the save. Aries hooks the Last Chancery but Hardy makes the save this time.

Hardy is sent to the floor and Ray backdrops Aries onto Jeff in a good looking crash. Back in and Aries says he doesn’t need anyone, which is pretty solidly heel of him. He hits the running dropkick to Ray but Bully blocks the brainbuster. He goes to look for his chain but settles for the title belt instead. Hardy back in now and Ray sends Jeff into the champ. Bubba Bomb to Hardy gets the pin at 4:10 shown. Yeah less than five minutes.

Rating: C. This is the night of the short matches. Ray winning is one way they could have gone although I’m not sure it’s the right one. It’s also not the wrong move but they put themselves in an awkward place here. Ray winning is probably the best possible outcome they could have gone with, but this likely wasn’t the best match for them to pick.

Here are Hogan and Sting to announce Sting’s partner for the match. Hogan talks about how Aces and 8’s are running wild around here and now it’s getting personal. Really? Just NOW it’s getting personal? Hogan says he needs a real partner for Sting and it’s going to be….Anderson. Yes, apparently beating Gunner is more impressive than beating the world champion and the number 1 contender. And never mind as Anderson is beaten down by Aces and 8’s in the back.

Ray runs out and says it should be him now for sure. He gives a great speech about going to war (ruined by the fans chanting for D-Von) and sticks his hand out to Hogan. Sting likes the idea and Hogan waits before shaking his hands. The fans boo of course because nothing makes these people happy. Ray is ready to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was…..understandable. It certainly isn’t a good show but they built up the PPV. This is the funky period before a major PPV where the card is mostly set and now you’re filling in the stories before you get there. It happens every year before Wrestlemania and it happens every year before BFG. It’s not fun but it has to happen. Nothing on here was terrible, but nothing on it was great either. They’re not even trying to hide that Aces and 8’s is the real main event and I’m actually hoping it goes on last so we don’t get the same thing Roode and Angle got last year where no one cared. Slow, but not awful show.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Gunner – Mic Check

Gail Kim/Tara b. ODB/Miss Tessmacher – Widow’s Peak to Tessmacher

Samoa Joe b. Rob Van Dam – MuscleBuster

Chavo Guerrero b. Kurt Angle – Rollup

Douglas Williams b. Zema Ion via DQ when Ion wouldn’t release his hold

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries – Bully Bomb to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: October 3, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

Back for another show as this show has been in a bit of a rut lately. Last week’s main event of Steamboat vs. Ohno is probably the main story on the show right now but other than that there isn’t much going on. We should be setting up another opponent for Rollins soon enough which is something we need in the near future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event and the post match attack.

Earlier today Ohno was getting into the building when Richie Steamboat jumped him.

Welcome Home. Where do these people go that they have to be welcomed home every week? In case this makes no sense to you, the theme song is Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria.

Drew McIntyre vs. Richie Steamboat

Feeling out process to start with Drew shoulder blocking Richie down. Steamboat comes back with forearms and right hands as he seems to be abandoning his usual style here. Drew catches Steamboat with a kick to the ribs as Steamboat tries to jump over him in the corner. That gets two and McIntyre takes over before hooking something like a seated abdominal stretch.

Drew knocks him to the apron where Steamboat gets two off a sunset flip. Back inside McIntyre hits a release Wasteland with Steamboat landing on his face. Drew loads it up again but Richie tries to counter it into a hurricanrana, only to botch it by falling off McIntyre’s head. Steamboat starts firing off elbows but here’s Ohno for a distraction. Richie turns around and walks into a shot to the head and the Futureshock DDT for the pin at 4:25.

Rating: C. This was more about the angle but building up McIntyre with a win is a good idea. The guy has potential but he’s fallen so far in the last few years that he’s having to start all over again. As for Steamboat, this is a good story for him as he’s getting to show some emotion and I’m not complaining about what I see. Being boring was the biggest knock on him so seeing some good emotion out of him is a good sign.

Big E. Langston vs. Aiden English

The place starts chanting 5 as Langston comes in. English pounds away and gets beaten down for trying to fight. A running clothesline takes Aiden down and there go Langston’s straps. The falling slam kills English and gets the five count at 1:14.

Langston hits the finisher again post match for another five count to a big reaction. The fans seem to love this guy. Langston’s face looks a bit like Monty Brown’s when you can’t see his hair. He hits another falling slam on Aiden for fun.

Steamboat is looking for Ohno in the back but only finds Michael McGillicutty who hasn’t seen Ohno.

CM Punk is here next week.

Here’s McGillicutty with something to say. Apparently he gets a title match next week. McGillicutty says it’s going to be Rollins’ first and last title defense. He calls Rollins out to the ring and gets what he asks for. Well partially as Rollins stops on the stage. Rollins talks about how much McGillicutty talks, including calling Rollins a paper champion. Rollins thinks that shows a lack of respect and holds up the title, which means the respect is real. He’s earned everything he has and didn’t have a path laid out for him since birth. Rollins wants to fight now but McGillicutty says on his own terms.

Gabriel and Kidd are ready for Ascension later tonight. This was earlier today and as they’re talking, Ascension’s entrance starts and they pop up on the screen but don’t say anything.

Percy Watson vs. Kassius Ohno

Steamboat jumps Ohno on the stage during Ohno’s entrance. Ohno says he’s good to go and goes off on Percy quickly. Watson speeds things up and leg lariats Ohno down. Ohno comes back with something like a neckbreaker (Ohno was standing behind Watson and facing him so it was hard to tell what he was doing) but Watson dropkicks him down. The spinning Heisman splash gets two but Ohno blocks the Persecution. A knee in the corner stops Watson and the spinning elbow gets the pin for Ohno at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as usual with Watson matches. The guy isn’t bad at all but man alive there’s nothing to care about with him. Ohno’s matches are still nothing interesting but this was better than his usual stuff. I think it’s the elbow finisher that holds him back more than anything, especially given what we know he’s capable of.

Ascension vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

Kidd and Cameron start us off but Gabriel tags himself in and the smaller guys double team Cameron with a double hip toss and a pair of kicks. A release German throw (not really a suplex) takes Gabriel down and we take a break. Back with O’Brien hammering on Gabriel until Justin rolls around O’Brien and tags out.

Tyson kicks him in the head and hits a springboard missile dropkick for two. O’Brien is sent to the floor where he blocks a baseball slide and slams Kidd onto the floor to take over. Back inside and Ascension takes turns stomping away. That style of rapid fire stomping and pounding is reminiscent of Demolition and there’s nothing bad about that. Cameron puts on a body scissors with a chinlock and O’Brien follows up with a body scissors of his own.

Kidd starts fighting back but Conor tags out immediately to make sure Tyson can’t escape. You can almost hear JR beaming as he talks about the tag team continuity of Ascension. Kidd avoids a charge from O’Brien and side steps Cameron, which lets Kidd make the hot tag to Gabriel. Justin takes Cameron down and immediately tries the 450 but crashes and burns. With Tyson down on the floor, Ascension hits the running Total Elimination (called the Fall of Man) for the pin on Gabriel at 8:20 shown of 11:50.

Rating: B-. This was a solid tag match although the ending felt abrupt. I really like Ascension’s stuff as they have the look and aggressive style that makes them feel like they could dominate anyone. When you combine that with an awesome finisher and a great entrance, what more could you want? Kidd and Gabriel were their usual good selves.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show better than most recent episodes. We got a lot of stuff from this one with a good main event, a continuation of the main angle for the show and some stuff set up for next week. This is what NXT is good at doing: offering an old fashioned hour long wrestling show and they did that again here. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. Richie Steamboat – Futureshock DDT

Big E. Langston b. Aiden English – Falling Slam

Kassius Ohno b. Percy Watson – Spinning Elbow

Ascension b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Fall of Man to Gabriel

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Someone requested the second episode of this show but I couldn’t find it.  Sorry Rocko.  Here’s this one as a consolation.

Shotgun Saturday Night
Date: January 4, 1997
Location: Mirage Night Club, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Sunny

This is a show I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. It’s the debut episode of a show obviously called Shotgun Saturday Night. This is airing at about 11pm live from a night club in New York. These shows were FAR edgier than what you saw on WWF and it kind of the ancestor to the Attitude Era. Eventually one Vince Russo would do commentary but that’s not for about a year. This was a legit shift in what WWF had, and is a very interesting piece of company history. I’ve never seen this so let’s get to it.

Bob Backlund says you don’t want to go in there because there’s violence and sex and crime in there. He wants to ban the show and even New York as a whole. He’d make a GREAT mod here.

The opening video is shots of New York and various wrestlers, including Taker in a leather jacket and sunglasses. That could never happen right?

Crush vs. Ahmed Johnson and minis tonight. Oh and Goldust vs. Sultan.

The atmosphere here is very different and the ring is clearly smaller.

Godwins vs. Flying Nuns

The Nuns are Sister Angelica and Mother Smucker. They’re women in case you couldn’t tell. We see a video of them coming out of a cathedral. The ropes are yellow and the mat is black. Also, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN ON JANUARY 4TH? That was the Fingerpoke of Doom and Foley winning the title and the debut of this show and Impact moving to Mondays and Shawn and Bret reuniting. Is it like November 5, 1955 in Back to the Future?

The Nuns jump the Godwins and are rather powerful it seems. Apparently men vs. women is fine now? Angelica and Phineas start and we get a HOLY CRAP chant for no apparent reason. Wow those women are large. Hard punch and I think one Banged her Head on the mat. Sunny thinks these two are from the Nun Wrestling Federation.

Hillbilly Jim isn’t sure what’s going on. Angelica has facial hair it seems. Smucker takes over and Vince wonders how the WWF sanctioned this. Vince if you can’t remember why you did it you may want to lay off the hard stuff. The lights are really low I’m guessing to make sure the size of the place isn’t notable, which is fine. Brother Love of all people comes out and is the manager of the girls I guess.

We take a break and come back to more of the same. The girls beat up Henry, who is about 6’7 and over 300lbs. Those are some big old girls. LOUD ECW chant as well. We hear about some rookie that Sunny likes named Rocky Maivia. Eh I’m sure he’ll never mean anything. Top rope legdrop from Smucker misses and hot tag to Phineas (Mideon). Smucker complains about him trying to slam her as apparently she doesn’t like the hand placement. That’s kind of funny. Love blasts Phineas with whatever is in his hand for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a long comedy match and the joke got old quick. In case you didn’t get the reference, the Nuns are of course men and would soon be VERY repackaged as the Headbangers. This went nowhere at all though and was FAR too long, at nearly 13 minutes counting commercial.

Brother Love renames them the Sisters of Love.

Ad for WWF on Tour.

Todd Pettingill (the original Michael Cole) is in the VIP Section with Goldust and Rocky. Bob Backlund comes over to freak out over Marlena’s dress and various things associated with it.

Goldust vs. The Sultan

Sultan is more famous as Rikishi. You can barely see the guys on the floor as the lights are on that low. Sultan likes Marlena apparently. Backlund won’t talk to Todd because he doesn’t have his glasses on. I loved this guy because he was just so insane and awesome at the same time.

This is a very generic match so far with not much going on at all. Weak powerslam by Sultan for two. Sunny is funny on commentary as she’s very sassy and cute. Backlund comes over and yells about life in general as a nerve hold is on Goldust. BWO chant as this is dragging. The match is boring but the atmosphere is very fun. This match needs to end like NOW. Sultan takes a neckbreaker and beats Goldust to his feet.

Vince gets the two guys confused. Clearly this is a problem as they look SO much alike! Sultan hits a Samoan Drop because he’s, you know, Samoan. Camel Clutch goes on but Marlena gets up on the apron and flashes Sultan, sending Backlund into hysterics. Sunny is TICKED as apparently she wants to be the flasher. I don’t think anyone would tell her no. Sultan gets counted out. Marlena is declared the winner.

Rating: D. This should be double D because that’s what this was about. The match sucked but obviously it was about the ending here. It set the tone for what you were going to get on this show, which is a nice touch. If the match had been cut in half it would have been even better and actually, you know, decent.

Sunny promises a sex tape next week.

Crush vs. Ahmed Johnson

Crush is in the Nation at this point and since it’s any point in Ahmed’s career, he’s feuding with them. The fans chant Jailbird because Crush had a long prison sentence due to weapons charges. We actually acknowledge that but say he did no time, which is a lie I believe. Clarence Mason, the lawyer of the Nation, talks about how Crush has been misused. I have no idea what he’s talking about but whatever.

Full Nelson by Crush and Ahmed makes his comeback. He sets for his Butterfly Powerbomb but the man that would become known as D’lo Brown runs in for the DQ. Big beatdown follows including a LOUD chair shot. Goldust and the Godwins come in for the save and Ahmed goes after Crush with the chair. They fight out the door and onto the streets, which is apparently 56th Street. Pearl River Plunge on the car, which looked SICK.

Rating: D+. Pretty short here but it was an ok power match I suppose. This was part of the seemingly never ending feud between Ahmed and the Nation. Farrooq vs. Ahmed would kind of happen at the Rumble but it never really went anywhere. This was ok but all just to set up the big car spot, which is fine I guess.

Mascarita Sagrada vs. Mini Vader

Mascarita is a legend as far as minis go. We get a comedy skit of Mini Vader and Jim Cornette. Mascarita always had a weird thing with Sunny, so she comes up and dances with him. It’s the Macarena which Todd does an actual funny song in perfect timing to the music, which may not have been scripted. Hot women dancing is always a good way to go though, so this worked.

Cornette joins commentary which instantly makes things better. And then he’s gone. Sagrada was fun to watch but here’s Cornette in the ring for a time out. You can’t see anything again because of the lighting but whatever. BIG (ok that’s a stretch) powerbomb from Vader and this is one sided for the most part. Nice rana from Mascarita gets us back to even and then he goes OFF THE TOP which is like the top of the cage by proportion.

Sagrada was AWESOME and is here as well. A missile dropkick ends it. Post match, Cornette challenges Sagrada to a fight. Oh this could be good. Mini Vader turns on him and there go Jim’s pants.

Rating: B-. Fun, especially with Cornette freaking out. This was to excite the crowd and give us something you wouldn’t otherwise see, which is a nice perk. These matches could be really fun if done right which is what they did here. They messed up once and ha a 15 minute match, which is FAR too long. This was fun though and as a quick thing that happens rarely, it can be great.

Vince and Sunny wrap us up with Sunny dancing on a table. That works.

Overall Rating: C+. Kind of a mess but that’s kind of the point. This was to give you something different and that’s exactly what they did. In that sense this worked very well although the wrestling was pretty horrible for the most part. Still though, this is well worth checking out if you’ve never seen it before, as the dynamic is totally different than what you’re used to in this era. Fun show but they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, which would improve to a degree.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

TNA Weekly PPV #9
Date: August 14, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

It’s the first show in a somewhat new era for TNA as the Truth is now champion and tonight is challenging for the tag titles with Jarrett. Other than that we have nothing scheduled but I’m sure we’ll have something that makes me angry because of how stupid it is, but then again this is Tennessee so it has to be a bit stupid. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Truth to open the show. We get a somewhat milestone moment for TNA as Truth calls this place the TNA Asylum. He’s a legend now that he’s champion apparently. When he was in the WWF, he couldn’t break certain rules because he’s black. This can’t end well. I mean it can’t. He insists that he isn’t playing the race card, but the line of “and that’s the truth” isn’t invented yet.

Cue Jarrett who calls Truth Walt Disney. Jarrett complains about reverse discrimination (wouldn’t it be discrimination in general?) and wants a shot TONIGHT. Truth says bring it but here’s Bill Behrens looks like a schmuck in a cowboy hat. He says he’s the new sheriff in town and any match between these two at the moment won’t be for the title. Jeff goes after Behrens but Brian Lawler jumps Jeff. He tries to get a fan’s chair but the fan won’t let him have it. Memphis this is not. Lawler shouts that he knew it was Jeff and that’s about it.

The announcers do their welcoming stuff.

Kid Kash/Slim J/Shark Boy vs. Spanish Announce Team

This should be fun. J is 17 years old and is dressed like Eminem. The SAT is comprised of the Maximos (Jose and Joel) and Amazing Red. Kash and I think that’s Jose start things off. They fight over a hammerlock to start before things speed up in a hurry. They trade a bunch of armdrags and it’s a standoff. Jose offers a handshake but Kash flips him off. Joel comes in and they kind of botch a reverse monkey flip.

Joel gets sent up and over to the floor and then out onto the barricade. Kash hits a sweet slingshot rana to the floor and everyone heads to the floor. J and Red are still in the ring and J looks like a 17 year old in over his head. He sends Red to the floor and tries a moonsault press to take out all three guys, nearly smacking his head on the apron in the process. Red hits a much better dive to take out everyone at once. Kash takes out everyone with an even bigger dive than that.

It’s Joel vs. Kash in the ring now but it’s quickly off t J. J keeps grabbing his crotch which can’t be a good thing. He misses a standing corkscrew shooting star and things break down a bit. Jose puts J on his back and Red uses J as a springboard to rana Kash. The rana doesn’t work and it looked badly botched but it was a cool idea. Another cool yet overly complicated idea sees Shark Boy and J having their limbs interlocked while having J put in a camel clutch and Sharky put in a Boston Crab at the same time. Red adds a dropkick to J’s face to end the move.

J charges into a boot, ducks a dive, and hits a kind of flipping kick off the middle rope for two. Kash hooks a freaky standing Boston Crab on Red before they both go up. Kid hits something like a release powerslam off the top which lands with a big crash. J comes in and after shaking his balls again (stop doing that!) he misses a Phoenix Splash.

Shark Boy comes in and everything breaks down again. Shark boy hits Diamond Dust (Dead Sea Drop) on Red followed by the Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) from Kash for two. J botches another rana and settles for a neckbreaker instead. The double C4 off the top (Spanish Fly) sets up the Infrared (big spinning legdrop) from Red to pin J. Dude deserved the beating.

Rating: C. If I never see Slim J again I’ll be perfectly happy. The guy is your stereotypical indy guy who does a lot of flips and thinks that makes him a wrestler. He botched almost everything he did and STOP GRABBING YOUR CROTCH ALREADY! This had its moments but going nearly 11 minutes is too long to have a match like this, especially with the amount of botches they had in here. Good idea, bad execution.

Dang it it’s the Dupps again. Stan tries to get Goldilocks to touch his crotch (do we have a recurring theme here?) so she does, with a solid right hand. We have an outhouse joke too.

Here’s Bruce to issue an open challenge for the Miss TNA crown. A plant signs a release and we have a match.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Tina Hamilton

The fan doesn’t say her name but that’s the name I found for her when I looked it up. Yes, I actually looked it up. The chick takes Bruce down with a spear and some more basic stuff before sending him to the floor. Back in she tries to slam him and gets small packaged for the pin. This gimmick is already old.

Jarrett says he didn’t do anything to Lawler but he’ll play whatever games he needs to in order to win the title. He goes to the men’s room to find Behrens sitting down. Jarrett yells at him and we pan over to Bo Dupp who runs into the midget Teo. Great it’s another hardcore match tonight.

Malice vs. Don Harris

Speaking of matches I don’t care to see, this is last man standing. The New Church is barred from ringside and clearly the words of the authority figures in this company mean SO much right? Harris immediately cracks Malice in the head with a chair for about a six count. Another chair shot puts Malice down again but as Harris loads up a third, Malice throws powder in Harris’ face.

They head to the floor and Malice gets in some more chair shots. Malice is busted open off one of those chair shots. West: “IF THIS HAD BEEN LAST WEEK THE MATCH WOULD BE OVER!” Ferrara: “…..but it’s not last week.” They head up to the stage and Malice throws him off the stage and into the barricade. Malice has a chain but Harris kicks him in the face to take Malice down. Harris chokes him with the chain and loads up a table.

Back in and another big boot puts a chair into Malice’s face. Harris loads up the table in front of the corner but Malice powerbombs Harris down. Harris comes back with a DDT but Malice belly to back superplexes Harris through the table. Don gets up first but Malice falls down at 9, giving Harris the win.

Rating: D+. The only word that comes to my head here is so. As in so what. Why am I supposed to care about this? I have no idea why these guys are fighting other than they were fighting last week and even then I have no idea why they were fighting before that. Also, if you’re going to have first blood and then last man standing, why have the wrestler win the first blood and then the security guy win last man standing? That’s backwards booking.

They pound fists in respect post match. Ok then.

Stan Dupp is afraid of midgets so Bo is fighting tonight.

Dupp Cup: Teo vs. Bo Dupp

Teo is a midget and it’s that stupid points thing again from last week. JB is beaten up, weapons are used, Stan screams which somehow loses points for Bo, weapons are used, and Bo is flushed in a toilet for Teo to win. Somehow that took four minutes and since I rate wrestling, this gets nothing. Thankfully this is the last appearance of the Dupps under this inane gimmick.

We recap Monty Brown vs. Elix Skipper which involved Brown being painted yellow.

Skipper calls Brown a chicken in some very colorful language.

Elix Skipper vs. Monty Brown

This is a street fight because two hardcore based matches in an hour isn’t enough. Skipper tries to jump Brown as he comes out but Brown sneaks up on him in a funny bit. Monty pounds him down to the ring as I guess the match has already started. They head to the ring and Brown chokes Skipper out with a shirt. I’m not entirely sure why these two started fighting in the first place but I think it was something racial.

Brown keeps fiddling with the shirt and the break lets Skipper use the Matrix to avoid a charge and get in some offense. Skipper is a smaller guy and he can’t go toe to toe with Brown so he sticks and moves, which is pretty stupid in a street fight where you can use weapons. Elix brings in a garbage can and blasts away with it, knocking Brown to the floor. Skipper hits the big spot of the match with a slingshot splash onto the can onto Brown which gets two as apparently this is now a hardcore match. Back in and Brown shrugs most of that off, beats on Skipper for a bit, and Alpha Bombs him on a trashcan for the pin.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this? To make Skipper look like a guy that has no chance against someone bigger than he is? Was it to make Brown look like a monster? If it’s either one of those things they didn’t do that at all. I have no idea what the point of this was and it didn’t work for the most part.

The Flying Elvises talk in the back. Well Yang and Estrada talk while Siaki looks away. Siaki turns around and insults Elvis before saying the other two should look up to him rather than Elvis. I think they’re trying to turn Estrada and Yang face but it’s not really working.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Jorge Estrada vs. Sonny Siaki vs. Jimmy Yang

Four corners elimination here. Yang and Estrada have armbands on because it’s been 25 years since Elvis died. There are tags required here so it’s Low Ki vs. Siaki to start. Siaki LAUNCHES Low Ki out of the corner but Low Ki comes back with kicks of course. Siaki takes him down but Estrada tags himself in and hits a running shooting star press for two. Low Ki escapes a suplex and fires away kicks at Estrada including a BIG one to the head.

Tenay says the kicks break your opponents spirits. Estrada gets put in a dragon sleeper, as does Siaki who came in sans tag. Off to Yang who hits what we would call a Rough Ryder to take Low Ki down followed by a middle rope spinwheel kick for no cover. Siaki isn’t even paying attention to the match and Yang escapes the Ki Crusher. Yang is placed on the top rope and chokes Low Ki over the ropes in a Tarantula kind of move.

Low Ki kicks him down and Estrada tags himself in to face Yang. Things speed up with Yang being knocked to the floor. There’s a BIG dive by Estrada and Yang is in trouble. Back in and Estrada hits a tornado DDT which Yang “blocks” (I didn’t see a block) it and dropkicks Estrada down. Yang puts on a Boston Crab and Estrada taps before the referee is even down to check him. That looked odd.

Low Ki sneaks in on Yang and kicks him a bit as is his custom. Yang gets his foot up in the corner to stop a charging champion. A missile dropkick gets two for Yang as Siaki is still not paying attention. Yang goes up but Siaki intentionally crotches him down. Ki Crusher gets us down to one on one. Siaki immediately charges in and pounds away on Low Ki but the clothesline each other down. Low Ki gets up first and hits a springboard spin kick followed by even more kicks to the chest. Siaki hits some kind of freaky looking punch. Yang comes back and decks Siaki, knocking him into a rollup to keep the belt on the kicking dude.

Rating: C. This was more about the angle than the match and I don’t think anyone thought Low Ki was in danger of losing the title. Siaki needs to get away from the other Elvises so he can become a bigger star, which he only kind of did in the future. Not much of a match but there were some good parts to it.

Earlier today, Jerry Lynn left the arena, went to a gas station, and beat up AJ Styles before demanding respect. Ok then.

It’s time for Jive Talking. Tonight’s guest: Dean Baldwin, more famous as Shark Boy but minus the mask here. Disco asks lame jokes about the other Baldwin brothers and does so for awhile. Brian Lawler comes out and yells about Jarrett some more before jumping Disco and getting taken away by security.

Stan Dupp says he’s leaving and Bo is confused/scared.

Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn vs. Ron Killings/Jeff Jarrett

Truth is world champion and is challenging here so I’ll only refer to Styles and Lynn as champions for the sake of clarity. AJ isn’t here to start so Lynn gets double teamed early on. A double suplex puts Lynn down and here’s AJ for the save. Jarrett takes the drop down/kick sequence from AJ for two. All four are on the floor now with Styles hitting an Asai Moonsault onto Jeff.

Back in and Killings misses a side kick to Lynn and Styles gets dropped face first onto the steps. Lynn monkey flips Killings down and Jarrett is whipped into the barricade. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog for two as Jarrett saves. All four are in the ring again and Styles misses a moonsault that would have hit Lynn anyway. Jarrett is the first person on the apron but he gets tagged in before he has a single opponent to face.

Ok so it’s Jeff vs. Jerry to start with Jarrett hitting the running hip attack to Lynn who is in 619 position. That and a sitout slam gets two for Jeff and it’s back to Truth. Lynn gets in a shot but a low blow from the Truth takes him right back down. An ax kick gets two for Truth but Jeff’s Stroke is countered. Jeff hooks a sleeper and Jerry is in trouble again. Lynn escapes that as well and puts Jarrett in a figure four which is quickly countered.

Back to Truth who slugs it out with Jerry and does his backflip out of the corner into the splits into the side kick sequence. That gets two but Lynn comes back with a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Off to AJ vs. Jeff with Styles firing off kicks to take over. Jeff tries a sunset flip which AJ rolls through into a Styles Clash attempt and everything breaks down. The champs double team Jarrett for two and load up a springboard Hart Attack, but AJ slips and hits Lynn in the back instead.

AJ accidentally spears the referee down as Lynn hits a reverse DDT on Jarrett. There’s no count because of the referee being down so Lynn cradle piledrives Truth instead but there’s STILL no referee. Jeff hits the Stroke on Lynn as AJ hits Spiral Tap on Truth. A second referee slides in and we’ve got a double pin.

Rating: C. The match was a standard tag match but man alive after two hours of this show I don’t care anymore. The ending sets up the titles being stripped from both teams and eventually a new team would win them. Other than that, there was nothing to see here but some notable botches from AJ.

Bob Armstrong, ANOTHER NWA representative, comes out here and says the titles are held up. Next week it’s Truth vs. Monty Brown for the title. Also next week it’s Styles vs. Lynn in a #1 contenders match for the X Title and Lynn says it should be falls count anywhere. AJ wants it No DQ on top of that, but THAT’S NOT ENOUGH, so Armstrong makes the third fall a ten minute Iron Man match. That’s an official NWA decision, so did Armstrong have that in his pocket just in case two other stipulations were suggested by the wrestlers? Jarrett whines and gets a mystery opponent next week.

Jarrett leaves with the tag titles and runs into Brian Lawler who chokes him and promises to kill Jarrett to end the show. In case you’re curious, Jarrett wouldn’t wrestle next week because these authority figures have no actual authority.

Overall Rating: F. I’m in awe of this show. I didn’t think they could get worse than last week, but that looks like 2000 Raw by comparison. Where do I begin? We had FOUR different Dupp appearances tonight. FOUR TIMES! On top of that we had Ricky Steamboat in charge last week, Cowboy Behrens in charge to start the show and Bob Armstrong in charge to end the show. On top of THAT, other than the main event and Lynn vs. AJ and something about Jarrett, there is nothing interesting or thought out at all here. Horrible show and after this one, the financial backers pulled out. Can you blame them?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I didn’t watch it but I’ll be reviewing it tonight or tomorrow.

For those of you who watched it, any thoughts?

Before we get started, please keep in mind this is one of the first reviews I ever did and I didn’t know what I was doing yet.

In Your House 2: The Lumberjacks
Date: July 23, 1995
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,482
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off the heels of KOTR 95, which may have been the worst PPV of all time and I kid you not. It was just flat out bad all around. It had a “triple main event”. This consisted of Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler in a Kiss My Foot Match, Mabel vs. Savio Vega in the KOTR Finals, and Diesel and Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka. Holy freaking goodness.

Anyway, that festering pile of garbage leads us here, with Sid getting a rematch for the title as well as the newly face Shawn Michaels going after the IC Title from Jeff Jarrett. This show is yet again a SNME on PPV, but that’s ok I think. It was 20 dollars for some decent wrestling, so what more could you really ask for? Let’s see if it’s any good.

Show stars with a cheap country song about the show tonight. I get that these are for the theme of the show, but these are just annoying to me most of the time. Kind of catchy I guess. Vince’s buildup lines here are almost creepy with how enthusiastic he is about them.

1-2-3 Kid vs. The Roadie

DX explodes here as X-Pac faces the Road Dogg. This is fallout from the Razor vs. Jeff Jarrett feud. Dogg was actually a worse wrestler back then than he is now. The story here is that Jarrett is singing live tonight for the first time, which yet again, no one really cared about but they had to fill time on the show I suppose. During the match we see Jarrett in the back not paying a bit of attention to his friend’s match.

Kid has a bad neck coming in just in case you were wondering. This isn’t bad, but it’s 1-2-3 Kid vs. the Roadie, which kind of hurts it. Based on the way they’re talking, Roadie was supposed to be a big deal or something, which is just kind of funny. I always enjoy seeing the future fairly big names in their previous gimmicks as it never ceases to amaze me what people can do to surprise you. Roadie hits a kind of bad/cool looking pile driver from the middle rope to get the win.

Rating: C+. Like I said, the main thing hurting this match is the fact that it was X-Pac vs. Road Dogg, but before they were anything close to stars. It’s not particularly bad as it kept my attention for the most part, but it’s nothing great. Post match, Roadie goes to the stage to check Jarrett’s mic for later on. Holy theme for the show Batman.

The Million Dollar Corporation says Sid is winning the title tonight.

Men on a Mission vs. Razor Ramon/Savio Vega

Oh screw it not this again. Mable is still the King and still sucks beyond belief. Somehow this guy got the title shot at Summerslam. Seriously, I have yet to get what Vince was thinking at the time when he booked this nonsense. Razor, as always, has bad ribs. Savio, as always, sucks. You know, out of all these four, I completely forgot about Mo. Seriously, that’s his name: Mo. Was he supposed to be intimidating or something?

I never remember him doing anything at all, yet he was always around, kind of like a bad fungus. Oh, apparently Razor’s ribs are fine. Dang I almost started to care for a minute there. Close call indeed. Lawler’s line of if brains were sunshine Razor would be a snowstorm makes me chuckle. This match is happening because Savio lost to Mable in the king of the ring final and Razor is his friend.

Mo is there because there was already a bum at the local gas station so they gave him a night’s “work”. I must really love you guys: I’m watching Savio Vega vs. Mabel. Let that sink in for a minute. Razor is the only thing that’s decent in the match and he’s been in it all of 90 seconds.

The referee’s counts are insanely fast so I guess he realizes how bad this match is too. The crowd is way too hot for a match like this. Razor throwing Mabel around like he does is actually kind of cool to see. Belly to belly and another fast count ends this.

Rating: C-. Seriously, WHAT WAS VINCE THINKING??? Three out of these four completely suck and one kind of sucks. Mable pins Razor clean? I can’t blame Razor for bailing for WCW in less than a year one bit.

Todd Pettingill interviews the band for Jarrett and plays with his instruments.

Michael Hayes is with some of Diesel’s lumberjacks. I just realized: there are thirty lumberjacks for this main event. Is that really needed? Wouldn’t 20 be enough? That’s five guys per side of the ring. Nothing of note is said here other than the rumor of DiBiase buying off some lumberjacks. You know, Man Mountain Rock and Adam Bomb were freaking awesome characters. Sure they weren’t serious, but DANG they were cool. Look them up if you haven’t seen them yet.

It’s time for Jarrett to sing.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have this song on my ipod. The song is kind of catchy, but the twist was supposed to be that he was lip synching for Roadie, eventually leading to a feud between the two. However, after tonight the pair would both leave the company. Both guys went to the USWA for a few months but Jarrett was back within six months and Roadie was back in about a year.

The spelling of his name was actually a decent gimmick because even nearly 15 years later, every time I type his name that line is in my head. This was actually a decent little song and it was rather catchy. The story made sense and had it played out, it could have been something I think. Roadie actually has a decent singing voice.

I remember distinctly watching this live with my mother and my mom was legitimately impressed. He actually sings far better than the backup, professional, singers. Vince trying to sound country and hip is just flat out sad.

The fans mostly like the song.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Henry Godwin

O……….k. Godwin simply does not work as a heel, end of argument. It’s just creepy. These two are both lumberjacks tonight and Henry cost Bigelow a match with Sid on Raw. Oh man I forgot about Bigelow’s pyro gimmick again. WWE should rehire whoever this announcer is. Dude’s pretty freaking sweet.

I always kind of liked Godwin. The guy had a decent look to him and wasn’t too bad in the ring. He was bad, but not that bad. Bigelow got thrown out of the Corporation and is going through them one by one, even though Godwin was just an associate of theirs at the time.

This is a style as old as time: two big guys beating on each other. Yes, it’s pretty bad looking, but it’s not supposed to be a classic. Godwin dominates most of this short match until Bigelow comes back wins this pretty quickly. I think the finish was a botch as Godwin misses a knee from the top and gets covered for a pin.

Rating: C. This was short and rugged, but it did its job. Bigelow gets a win, Godwin looks decent, and the feud is continued. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. Pretty entertaining little match, but don’t expect much. Bigelow would be gone by the end of the year and Godwin would (thank God) be a face.

Bob Backlund wants to be President. My lord what was wrong with wrestling in 1995?

Shawn Michaels (the day after his birthday) says he wants the IC Title as a present.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is by far the match of the night. Shawn is newly face after a long heel run where he was having the best matches on the show and got over by way of that. This came about by Shawn doing commentary one night but Roadie throwing some guy onto him, leading to a brawl with Jarrett and Shawn.

Jarrett again shoots himself in the foot by leaving the day after he has the best match of his career up to that point. Jarrett’s intro takes like three minutes on its own with a guest announcer and Roadie. Shawn’s pop blows the roof off the place. Jarrett is champion here. Jarrett clutching his title to him is rather amusing.

Memphis levels of stalling to start until Shawn is all like screw that and steals the title. After a lot of nothing, Shawn does the lay on the ropes taunt. I love that thing. This should be very good from a technical standpoint. Shawn had reached the point here where he was the best in the company or a close second, but he just wasn’t ready for the jump to the main event.

It’s kind of a long feeling out process here as Shawn does the Jarrett strut and Jarrett does the Shawn corner thing. And there goes Jarrett as he tries to leave. Dang he comes back since I guess he sucks as a heel. This is pure Memphis with all of the stalling. Shawn is like screw this and goes to the floor to bring him back.

They keep changing things up here and never actually going straight at it for more than a few seconds at a time. Shawn gets a big dive to the floor to take out both guys which looked sweet. Shawn has looked awesome for the whole thing so far and is just picking Jarrett apart. Until right then when he gets launched over the top and crashes to the floor.

Gordbuster to REALLY go old school here. I think Vince’s mic is out as Jeff gets an abdominal stretch for a good while. Roadie gets involved and costs Jarrett his advantage or at least for a bit. He gets involved again but this time it works and Shawn is in trouble. Nice pinfall reversal sequence gets us some close near falls.

Shawn tries to crank it up but gets caught in a sleeper. The basic reversal follows and both guys are down. Forearm hits and Shawn’s feet never hit the ground as he’s nipping up already. Moonsault gets two and Jarrett won’t stay down. Elbow gets the same as Jarrett keeps getting up.

This is a very solid back and forth match. Jarrett gets the suplex off the middle rope but the figure four is countered into a small package for two. Another is blocked and down goes the referee. Cross body gets two for Jarrett as this is very good so far. Roadie screws up and hooks the wrong leg, allowing Shawn to kick Jeff’s head off for the pin and the title.

Rating: A. This was just a great match all around and the match of the night by a mile. Shawn shows once again that he is the future of the company and Jarrett shows that he can’t handle the spotlight as he bails again. Still, great stuff here and just pure fun the whole time. Well worth checking out.

Holy
Freaking
Crap

Doc Hendrix just gave the most wild, insane speech that I have ever seen. He sounds like he’s on so much cocaine that he can barely see straight. He speaks for about thirty seconds in one long sentence, talking about Roadie and Jarrett fighting. This had my mouth hanging open in awe. Either awesome or creepy and I’m not sure which.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Allied Powers

Sweet goodness that was a bad team after awhile. Luger would be gone by September to appear on the first Nitro and Bulldog kind of faded away. Even I at 7 years knew they stood no chance in this match. Yoko isn’t at his fattest yet but you can see that his weight is completely getting out of hand at this point. This match isn’t any good really and it’s just there to fill time.

Luger and Smith control the majority of it until there’s your big melee and Hart hits a double axe on a not looking Luger to set up the legdrop to allow Yoko to pin him. Just a waste of ten minutes.

Rating: D. There is nothing here. It’s just ten minutes of the faces beating on Yoko before the really bad ending. Luger bailed in three months and I don’t blame him one bit. Smith turned heel in August and was gone a few months later. Just a filler.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Sid

You’ve heard the story if you’re read the previous review. The idea is Diesel and Shawn were feuding when Sid was Shawn’s bodyguard. Sid beat up Shawn after being fired and Diesel made the save, leading to this feud. Sid is part of the Million Dollar Corporation as well.

This match is miles ahead of the previous encounter with them trying some new things and it worked. Diesel even does a suicide dive over the top rope a la Undertaker. Sid of course hits the powerbomb but is slow and Diesel kicks out. The lumberjacks, namely Shawn, beat up Sid and Diesel kicks him and pins him. Decent match and then the champion celebrates to close us out.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good. The main issue is it’s just barely ten minutes long. With another five minutes this could have been very good, but at the same time it could have exposed their weaknesses. It finally ended this long feud that was just kind of a summer filler before the big one came with Diesel and Bret.

This concludes the regular show and it’s now time for the Home Video exclusives.

Bret Hart vs. Jean–Pierre Lafitte

This was in the middle of a feud between the two where you have to kind of scratch your head over what the heck they were doing with Hart. He goes from Hakushi to this, to the World Title? Lafitte is a pirate gimmick of all things, just not as entertaining as Burchill was with it. This match is as standard of a Bret match from this time as you’ll ever find with Bret getting the tar beaten out of him for about ten minutes before coming back and winning via some surprise, in this case a roll up.

Rating: C. This is just kind of there. It’s a solid match, but seriously, Bret Hart faces a freaking pirate? The idea was that Lafitte kept stealing Hitman’s glasses and eventually his jacket. To this day I don’t get where they were going with this, but it was blown off a month later so call this a dry run.

Undertaker vs. Kama

Casket match.  So why are they keeping two of their biggest stars off the main show? I get there are time constraints, but this is a bit excessive. This is another dry run as the big one of this was at Summerslam. Kama stole the urn and turned it into a necklace as you already know. Standard stuff here as Kama tries a chokeslam and gets his Godfathering head kicked off and thrown into the casket.

Rating: C. Seriously, why leave these two (Taker and Hart) off the card? The match is fine and I get that this was a treat for the fans so it’s ok. Taker was in a weird spot here as no one knew what to do with him, which is the exact same thing that anyone could claim around this time. It wasn’t until the next year when Hall and Nash left that guys like Shawn, Bret and Taker were pushed to the top of the roster and it helped a lot.

OverallRating: B-. Definite improvement over last time. Far less wastes of time as every match has a purpose in the main stories at the time and at the end you get two of the top stars in the company as a bonus. You throw in something regional with the country song and a great Jarrett/Michaels match and this is an easy thumbs up. Good show but they were still hammering out some bugs.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

TNA Weekly PPV #8
Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

We’re back to Nashville and this is a BIG show. Around this time the original financial backer of the company bailed out, so the company is either in a big state of flux right now or is about to be. On the in ring side though, we have two title matches tonight and one of them will see the final appearance of a champion for nearly two years. Let’s get to it.

The Dupps and Apolo are waiting outside Steamboat’s office. I think Steamboat is boss around here anymore.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

I’m serious. That’s their name. It’s Amazing Red, Joel Maximo and Jose Maximo. The Elvises are Jimmy Yang, Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada. It’s a big brawl to start Tenay says that the SAT (the name they’ll become known by) are named because of the announce table always broken at a WWE event. Thanks for that one Mike. I NEVER would have gotten that without you.

Red and Siaki are left in the ring and we’re told that Jose Maximo is the one with elbow pads. Got it. Back to four guys in the ring again with Siaki throwing Red in the air and catching him in a Samoan Drop. All three Elvises are at least on the apron now. Jose Maximo is in the ring now and takes a triple sitout powerbomb before being sent outside again. Red comes in again and we still haven’t had a one on one match.

Siaki LAUNCHES Red onto the Maximos but Siaki won’t let his partners pose. Ok so it’s Joel vs. Sonny to start but Sonny doesn’t want to let either of his partners in. Yang and Estrada go to do commentary, basically making it 3-1. Joel in the ring now but it’s quickly off to Red with a standing shooting star press. Jorge starts to sing on commentary. The Maximos double team Sonny and put him in a wicked double team combo submission with Joel hooking a surfboard and Jose hooking a dragon sleeper. If that’s not enough, Red hits a double stomp while Siaki is up in the surfboard. FREAKING OW MAN!

Off to Red vs. Siaki now with Sonny hitting a pumphandle suplex for two. Yang gets back on the apron but Sonny STILL won’t tag. Yang gets back on commentary as a triple team takes Sonny down so Jose can kick him in the head for two. Siaki gets a right hand in to Red but the Maximos come in for a double C4 off the top.

Red hits a corkscrew moonsault and the other Elvises come in. Everything breaks down and the Code Red (sunset flip bomb) gets two for Red. The Maximos set for some double team spot but Yang slips off Jose. Estrada counters another double C4 into a double DDT off the top. Yang and Estrada go up at the same time for a stereo top rope legdrop and splash combo, only to have Siaki steal the pin on Red.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with a bunch of high flying spots and furthering of the split between the Elvises. Siaki is a solid heel and it’s kind of a shame that his push stopped. This is the right kind of opener though and the crowd was fired up by the big spots. It worked in WCW and it works everywhere else.

The announcers talk about the title matches tonight.

Earlier today, Apolo went on a rant about how he’s been screwed out of a world title shot. That’s true, as he was passed over because of Truth’s rant about racism or whatever. Steamboat has lost his respect for passing him over. Tonight, Apolo wants an answer from Steamboat.

Apolo goes to see Steamboat but Steamboat blows him off. The Dupps try to talk to Steamboat but we cut to AJ vs. Lynn in another brawl in the back. Security finally breaks it up.

Here’s Steamboat who is kind of a jerk lately. The Dupps follow him out and Steamboat says he doesn’t have time with it, so go do whatever it is you want to do.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Ron Killings

Steamboat jumps in on commentary. Shamrock (defending) grabs a leglock almost immediately but Truth fights up. Ken almost falls over trying a kick to the face and then puts on an armbar. Ricky talks about why he gave Truth the match. He talks about how he was IC Champion but didn’t get a title shot at Hogan. In this case, the real story would be better: he didn’t get a title shot at Hogan, but then he went to the NWA and they gave him the opportunity. Instead they took a shot at the WWF but that’s more important right?

Truth snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Truth hits a spinning forearm for two. Shamrock messes up a sunset flip as Steamboat talks about going sixty minutes a lot of the time. Truth pounds away in the corner but gets caught in a powerbomb to counter. Ken comes back with a powerslam but he’s looking haggard already.

Another kick takes Truth down and Shamrock is all fired up. He tries the standing rana but it looks like he’s going in slow motion. There’s the ankle lock but Truth gets to a rope quickly. The New Church is watching from the stage as we head to the outside. Monty Brown is on the stage too. Truth suplexes him on the floor and they head back in with Shamrock taking over almost immediately.

The champ pounds away and hooks a cross armbreaker. Truth slaps Shamrock’s knee which looks a lot like tapping out. Shamrock lets the hold go for no apparent reason and is getting ticked off. Truth gets thrown to the floor and here’s the interference. We’ve got Apolo attacking Truth, the New Church attacking Shamrock, and Don Harris and Monty Brown attacking the New Church. Apolo fires a superkick but misses Truth and COMPLETELY misses Shamrock, but Ken sells it anyway. That was embarrassing. Steamboat throws Shamrock back in and a Diamond Cutter gives Truth the title.

Rating: D. Changing the title here was a good idea as Shamrock looked horrible. In a less than ten minute match he botched at least four moves. That’s not acceptable for a world champion, especially in a company that is brand new like this. Steamboat didn’t really add anything here but it was a good idea to have Truth win the title, as he’s involved with the main storylines. Shamrock wouldn’t have another match with the company until 2004.

Steamboat comes out again and wants to talk to Apolo. Apolo comes out and Steamboat says Apolo can’t be a maniac anymore. Why not? It got Truth a title shot. Apparently it gets Apolo a title shot as well….and here’s Jarrett. Jarrett complains about being discriminated against because he’s white. Steamboat says he can’t believe what he’s hearing and says this stops here tonight. Tonight it’s Jarrett vs. Apolo and the winner gets Truth. So basically in NWA TNA, you get title matches by whining. That’s how Truth got his, and that’s how these two are getting their chances at a shot. Oh and Steamboat is referee.

Here’s Disco Inferno for Jive Talking but his set is way cheaper looking, with a cardboard sign with Jive Talken (that’s how it’s spelled) written on it. Here are the Dupps and they announce the first Dupp Cup Invitational. Apparently this is going to be the new hardcore division. You have to get ten points to win a match in the division. It’s 2.5 points for putting someone through a table a 5 points if it’s on fire.

If you put your opponent’s head in a toilet, it’s 2.5 points. It goes downhill from here with stupid jokes about using farm animals. Apparently if you spank an opponent with a hobby horse you get 2.5 points, but if they like it, you lose 2.5 points. This keeps going for awhile and the redneck crowd likes it for reasons that are likely due to inbreeding. The Dupps would be gone after next week and the company was instantly better.

Stan takes his shirt off and reveals a shirt with a picture of Goldilocks in a bikini taped to it. Disco asks who is going to be in the match tonight so here’s Paulina from Tough Enough. The Dupps offer 64 cents to anyone that wants to fight for the Dupp Cup. Apparently you also get a night with their hot cousin Fluff Dupp…..and Ed Ferrara accepts.

Dupp Cup: Ed Ferrara vs. The Dupps

Ferrara hits JB for two and a half points, spanks Don West for three and a half more (first to ten wins and yes those rules were established before the match) but the Dupps jump him to take over. Stan hits Ferrara with a chair for a point and Stan does the same to make it 6-2. A boot and a drink to Ferrara’s head make it 6-4 and another chair shot makes it 6-5. We meet J, who was mentioned in the rules, which is a sex blow-up doll which makes it 7.5 to 6 in favor of the Dupps.

Sarah the Ticket Lady (also mentioned) beats up Bo with a broom which means no points to anyone. Paulina hits Stan with a chalk board and Ed spears Bo down. Three chair shots somehow make it 8 to 7.5 in favor of Ed. Ed spanks Bo with “Horsey Poo” but Bo likes it so Ed loses 2.5 points, making it 5.5 to 7.5 in favor of the Dupps. Here’s a table and Bo chokeslams Ed through it for the win. If you think I’m rating this you’re dumber than the Dupps.

By the way, this segment got over 16 minutes, or as long as the main event tonight will get.

Monty Brown talks about his background in an interview with Mike Tenay, where he lists off his accomplishments and transitioning from football to wrestling. He’s very calm here and comes off like a well read and intelligent guy as opposed to the wild and loud guy he would be more famous as. Brown talks about the politics he faced in the NFL and talks about how he overcame them. As for Truth, he doesn’t like the whining….and here’s Elix Skipper (I think) to hit him with what looks like yellow paint. It covers Monty with one shot. Skipper yells about Monty not knowing what it’s like to be from the streets.

Malice vs. Don Harris

First blood here as we have a match with a security guard. Malice takes over to start and rams Harris into the barricade a few times. Mitchell, Malice’s manager, jumps in on commentary. Harris kicks a chair into Malice’s face and whips him HARD into the barricade. They head into the crowd and Harris cracks him in the head with a chair. Another chair shot to the head looks to open Malice up but it’s not quite there yet.

Malice still has his vest on. He rams Harris into a wall and they’re still out in the crowd. They head to the stage and Mitchell talks about setting the stage for things to come by putting blood on the opponents’ faces. Malice gets thrown off the stage and lands face first on the barricade.

Slash jumps Harris from behind and has some kind of a sharp object. Harris gets it from him and stabs Slash in the head with it but Malice comes back and we head to ringside again. Mitchell gets taken down and has blood all over him now from that box he carries. The guys head inside for the first time of the whole match and a Boss Man Slam puts Malice down but Malice jabs him with something around the eye for the blood and the win.

Rating: D. Even for a first blood match, this wasn’t anything of note. It’s like six minutes long and it wasn’t anything interesting. We know who Harris is but I have no idea why this match was happening. Also the ending comes out nowhere and I’m not really sure what Malice did to open Harris up. This would continue in a few weeks if not next week.

Sonny Siaki annoys Goldilocks when Bruce pops up and steals her mic. He gets in Taylor Vaughn’s face and offers her a rematch in an evening gown match. Low Ki and AJ pop up and are brawling as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Apolo

Steamboat is guest referee and the winner gets a shot at the Truth. Feeling out process to start but Steamboat blocks a right hand from Jeff. Jeff pounds on Apolo, Apolo pounds on Jeff, not much is going on here. Jeff gets sent to the floor via a clothesline and Steamboat actually enforces the get off the top before five rule. Back in and Apolo hits a Sky High powerbomb for two.

A Booker T sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Apolo and Jarrett gets guillotined on the top rope to send him to the floor. Jeff sends Apolo into the barricade and we head back inside with Jarrett in full control. Apolo is busted open and misses a splash in the corner. Jarrett enziguris him down for two and the fans think it was a slow count. Apolo misses a shoulder block and Jeff goes after the knee.

Figure Four goes on and Apolo is in a lot of trouble. The fans are completely behind Jarrett and chant MAKE HIM TAP. The hold is turned over but Jeff is quickly in the ropes. Jeff misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes. They slug it out with Apolo’s leg looking fine. A DDT puts Jeff down but Apolo can’t follow up. Apolo comes back with some clotheslines and a superkick but Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Apolo hits a German suplex but Jeff raises his shoulder, and with some hesitation, Steamboat counts the three on Apolo.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but at the same time it’s about what you would have expected. I always like Apolo for the most part but this was pretty much the height of his time in the company and would be his last match until 2004. The rise of Jarrett continues as I think we all knew was coming when we heard he was starting a wrestling company. Before people get on me, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The guy is a great heel and it was his company, so who could he trust on top more?

Steamboat explains what just happened to Apolo so Apolo gets on him because of unfairness or something like that. Apolo leaves and Steamboat says Jarrett is getting the Truth….just not for the title. It’s going to be Jarrett/Truth vs. Lynn/Styles for the tag titles next week.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

It’s an evening gown match, meaning strip the other person down to their underwear to win. Bruce is a man and Miss TNA coming in. Bruce dominates, hitting a suplex and a backbreaker before taking Taylor’s dress off to retain. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?

Bruce strips as well and we’ve got a thong.

Don West gives his sales pitch for next week. He really is good at this stuff. We get a merchandise pitch too.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

Styles and Lynn are tag champions and Styles is X Champion. I’ll only refer to Styles as a champion in this though for the sake of clarity. Lynn and Low Ki take out Styles to start and immediately brawl with each other. Low Ki fires off kicks at Lynn but Jerry catches one of them and AJ kicks Ki in the head. Lynn hooks Styles in an inverted Gory Special but gets dropkicked down by Low Ki.

A Muta style elbow gets two on the champ for Low Ki but Styles does his awesome nip up into a rana to take over. There’s a torture rack to Low Ki but AJ keeps going with it and hits a kind of reverse AA into a facebuster. Lynn pops up and takes AJ down but Styles comes right back with a McGillicutter to take Jerry down. A rana from AJ is countered into a kind of powerbomb facebuster for two by Jerry.

Low Ki is sent to the apron but he slingshots in to roll up Jerry as Jerry German suplexes AJ which gets a double two count. Cool spot. Lynn and Low Ki chop it out as AJ is down. AJ tries a suplex on Low Ki but gets caught in a Dragon Sleeper. Lynn tries for a save but gets caught in the same hold. Jerry suplexes Low Ki down but AJ saves. AJ goes up but Jerry DDTs him off the top for two.

Styles and Low Ki slug it out but Low Ki kicks him in the face to take over. AJ hits his moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and then loads up a superplex on Low Ki but Jerry turns it into a Tower of Doom for two. All three guys get an awesome looking rollup for two, followed by AJ and Lynn trading very close two counts again. Low Ki rolls up Lynn, but Jerry kicks out, sending Low Ki into the Styles Clash position. Jerry breaks it up for some reason but the setup looked good.

Aj goes to the corner but Low Ki puts him in the Tree of Woe and in the Dragon Sleeper at the same time. Lynn’s tornado DDT to Low Ki is countered into a dragon sleeper on the ropes but AJ kicks him in the head and covers Lynn for two. A neckbreaker gets two on Lynn but Low Ki tries the Ki Crusher on AJ. Styles counters that but Low Ki hooks the Styles Clash on Styles. Jerry hits a Ki Crusher on Low Ki and you know what’s coming next. The cradle piledriver gets two on Lynn and the fans are digging this a lot.

Low Ki accidentally kicks the referee and is thrown to the floor by both opponents. Jerry and AJ collide to put both guys down and AJ falls to the floor in pain. Scratch that as he brings in a chair which he caves in Lynn’s head with a chair. AJ goes up but as he climbs, Low Ki covers Lynn. In a pretty questionable ending, the referee gets to two, AJ hits Spiral Tap on Low Ki, Low Ki comes up off Jerry, goes back down on Jerry, and the referee counts one more time (as in the referee slaps the mat only once more) for the three count and Low Ki is champion.

Rating: B. Bad ending aside, this was a fun match which showed off what TNA was good at: high flying matches with guys going so fast it’s almost impossible to keep up with what’s going on. I missed a few spots because I couldn’t type fast enough to keep up with them. Low Ki was by far the most popular guy in the match so going with him as champion was the right move. AJ and Lynn would keep feuding for awhile longer.

Since the signature division just had a great match, let’s cut to Jarrett to close the show. He and Truth yell at each other before we cut back to AJ and Lynn fighting. Jarrett and Truth stare at each other on the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot, but MAN FREAKING ALIVE this was a long sit. There were some dumb things on here, mainly the Dupps, which went on for over 1/8th of the WHOLE FREAKING SHOW. It’s low brow humor which I don’t find funny at all and it went nowhere. This show was terrible, but it’s a big transitioning point for TNA with two new champions and the departure of a lot of guys who brought them this far. Really weak show overall for this week though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2012
Location: Chesepeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma|
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in Oklahoma tonight which means a few things. First of all, it’s JR Appreciation Night but that might only be for the post show stuff. Also I believe we’re in the arena where Punk first cashed in the MITB case and won his first world title, which will likely be mentioned. We’re also likely to see what Ryback staring Punk down last week will mean, and on the Blue side, we’re getting…..wait for it….a debate between Big Show and Sheamus. Yet they wonder why no one watches Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of all of Punk’s antics last week, including the great promo with Foley and turning around to see Ryback at the end of the show.

Here are Punk and Heyman to open the show. During the entrance the Appreciation Night is mentioned. Punk complains about the attack last week and says in Chicago that’s called weakness. Punk was looking for a doctor at the end of the show when he low blowed Foley. He didn’t like the lack of respect that Foley was showing him and thinks Foley never would have talked like that to Cena or Rock or Austin. Punk doesn’t like the lack of respect this crowd is showing him either. Tonight, Punk is here to announce that it’s still not going to be Punk vs. Cena inside the Cell.

Punk whispers something to Heyman and Paul takes the mic. Heyman would like to move on to something else and that would be the proposal to AJ. This seems to bring out AJ but they cut her music after about half a second. Must be a production miscue. Heyman points out that while AJ didn’t say no, she did violate an ordinance from the board of directors, that if AJ strikes someone, she’s in trouble. Heyman calls for her removal from power and wants her job.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph with Vickie demanding that AJ be fired also and we get a clip of AJ beating her up a few months back. Heyman wants to know when this became about Vickie. Vickie cuts him off and says she represents the future World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman makes the obvious point that he’s with the CURRENT WWE Champion. Ziggler suggests Heyman and Vickie being co-GMs.

This brings out AJ to a surprisingly big reaction. AJ says she’s officially on probation which means we can drag this story out for a few more weeks. Apparently even Heyman doesn’t count as an exception so she has an executive coach to help with her development as a GM. And it’s Daniel Bryan. Bryan snaps on the crowd and yells NO a lot, saying he’s just here to apologize.

Bryan thinks AJ has gone insane because of being dumped by the man with the amazing beard. Now he’s the tag team champions, and you know who this brings out. Kane points out that AJ is a phenomenal kisser. Everything else that Bryan said was true, but he (Kane) is the tag team champions. Ziggler and Punk get in an argument of their own over who is better until AJ freaks out and reaches octaves even Vickie is jealous of. She makes the tag match you would expect her to make with the four guys in the ring. Total time for the opening segment: 21 minutes.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Epico/Primo vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Epico start with Cara hitting a Tajiri Elbow for two. Off to Primo who doesn’t do any better. Cara and Rey have inverted matching attire now. Rey comes in and the cousins are sent to the floor, but the masked guys stop before diving Epico and Primo move. Here are the Prime Time Players to sit on the stage as we take a break.

Back with Rey tagging out to Cara who comes in with a big springboard cross body. Cara kind of botches a springboard armdrag but it’s not too bad. Epico dropkicks him out of the air for two as the cousins take over. A quick sunset flip gets two on Primo for Cara and it’s back to Epico. Cara spins Epico around and slams him into the mat to get some separation and there’s the tag to Rey.

A big kick to the head takes Primo down and a seated senton does the same. A spinning reverse DDT gets two and here’s Cara with a springboard missile dropkick. There’s a kick to Primo’s head and it’s a double 619. Both masked guys go up top and Cara dives on Epico as the top rope splash from Rey pins Primo at 9:27.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw four high fliers out there and have them jump a lot. It worked for years in WCW and it worked here too. The Players didn’t do much here, but what did do something here was the commercial. It’s annoying when you have one like a minute into a match and the post break stuff has to act like a full match for all intents and purposes.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Non-title here and no entrance for Brodus. There was no entrance for either tag team earlier so maybe they’re trying to hurry things up. It’s an easy way to add a lot of time to the show actually. Brodus takes him into the corner to start and suplexes him down. A headbutt to the chest does the same but the t-bone suplex is blocked. Clay misses a splash and a springboard uppercut (you read that right) gets two and the Neutralizer pins Clay in 1:06. I guess it’s time for Brodus to be a jobber.

AJ comes up to Kaitlyn and introduces her to the coach, Christopher J. Stevenson, a guy in a suit. Kaitlyn will be ready to go again next week, even though she’s in her ring gear tonight. AJ wants to talk about their relationship and is all serious before going into an insane laugh. She isn’t really sorry at all and skips away. The coach says nothing at all.

Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Miz takes him down with a shoulder block and a pair of boots to the head for two. Ryder makes a comeback and hits the Broski boot for two as we hear about Larry King as the social media ambassador. The Rough Ryder is countered into a buckle bomb and the Skull Crushing Finale gets the pin at 2:39.

Here are Booker, Show and Sheamus for the debate. Show gets to make an opening statement but Show says this is stupid. He’s going to knock Sheamus out and Sheamus can’t even kick that high, so the Brogue Kick means nothing. Sheamus asks Show not to rip his leg off because he needs it to kick Show’s teeth in. All of the questions come from fans and the first question is what do you find the most challenging about your opponent. Sheamus is looking forward to the fight and the biggest issue is the match lasting more than 45 seconds. Sheamus has something between his eyes that looks like a bruise.

Show defends his hygiene in response to something Sheamus said and the second question is who has the most devastating finisher (Booker, reading the questions off the screen, gets Show’s finisher’s name wrong). Sheamus mentions the 45 second loss again and Show gets mad again. FINALLY he breaks his podium and we go to the last question.

Sheamus wants it to be from his cousin’s Tout. It’s from Rey Mysterio Sullivan, which is clearly Sheamus holding a mask to his face. Show complains about this not being serious again so Sheamus asks how it feels to lose the title in 45 seconds. Show takes off his jacket and Sheamus takes off his shirt. Show is dripping sweat and he walks away. This was REALLY worthless and it doesn’t make me want to see them fight at all. It does however make me want to know what is on Sheamus’ nose.

Ryback vs. Tensai

For those of you that were fascinated by the two minute match these two had on Smackdown I guess. Tensai runs him over to start but Ryback pops up and smiles. They slug it out and Ryback powerslams him down with ease. A belly to belly is broken up by Tensai so Ryback clotheslines him down with ease. Ryback can’t Shell Shock him on the first two attempts so he clotheslines him again for the pin at 1:49.

The Rhodes Scholars love their name and make fun of the debate. Sandow wasn’t pleased with the lack of formal wear from Sheamus. They think Sheamus is a neanderthal. And that’s it.

More cancer stuff.

Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match Eve talks about how awesome the Divas are. Beth tentatively shakes her hand and blocks the surprise attack from Eve. This is non-title by the way. Beth misses a charge and hits the post so Eve goes to the floor to pound on the bad arm. Beth gets rammed onto the floor and into the barricade which draws a nine count. Back inside Eve is upset so Beth runs her over. Eve hides in the ropes and comes out with her neckbreaker for the pin at 2:35.

AJ runs into Barrett in the back and my goodness Barrett is tall. Barrett says AJ needs the coach because Barrett doesn’t even have a match tonight. He says AJ has done a horrible job with her emotional outbursts and letting her personal relationships get in the way of her job. Barrett leaves and AJ thinks the coach is intimidated.

We hear about JBL climbing mountains to raise money for poor kids. Nothing wrong with charity work.

Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Apparently the One Man Band now has two people with him in the forms of Mahal and McIntyre. After a quick dance off they trade shoulder blocks and Slater elbows him in the face to take over. Slater’s group is called Encore apparently. He slams Santino down and jumps into the boot and Santino uses his usual stuff. The Cobra hits and Mahal/McIntyre run in for the DQ at 2:51.

Encore destroys Santino post match. All three of them say their nicknames and that’s about it. Slater’s theme song starting with “I’m just one man” is really stupid now.

Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus

Sandow hides to start so Sheamus grabs him by the beard and pounds away. Damien hides on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sandow hitting the floor again, drawing huge boos. Sheamus chases him into the crowd and catches Cody trying to interfere. The distraction lets Sandow clothesline Sheamus down and he takes over back in the ring. After some basic shots to the upper body, Sandow puts on a chinlock. Sandow fires off knees to the chest and hits a Russian legsweep and the windup elbow for two.

Damien pounds away some more and gets two off an elbow to the face. Back to the chinlock as Sandow’s offense is pretty much exhausted at this point. With Sheamus in 619 position, Sandow hits a charging hip shot to the back for two. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Sandow knocks him off the top with a good right hand. A boot to the head gets one for the non-champion and it’s off to a front facelock again.

Sheamus gets knocked to the floor as Sandow is still dominating which is pretty surprising. Back in and Damien gets another two and then another two and then chinlock #3 assuming you don’t count the variations of the move he’s already used. Sheamus comes back with a suplex to escape the hold and hits a knee lift and Regal Roll.

Sandow escapes a powerslam and hits a flipping neckbreaker for two. Sheamus gets the feet up in the corner and a top rope battering ram gets two. Sandow escapes White Noise but gets caught in the ten forearms. Sheamus catches Cody coming and sends him into the ring as well. A single Brogue Kick takes out both guys and pins Sandow at 15:45.

Rating: C+. Sandow looked better than usual here but man alive does he need to expand his offense a bit. Five chinlock variations in a fifteen minute match is hard to get past. It’s very good to see Sandow get a rub like this though, as he looked credible against a guy who is way out of his league. Not a great match or anything but a good stepping stone for Damien.

It’s time for Jim Ross Appreciation Night and Cole sucks up to JR now because the scripts calls for it. Before JR can say anything, here are Punk and Heyman. Punk tells Cole to go sit down and asks the fans to make some noise. He says the fans don’t know the first thing about respect and says JR is going to make the fans believe it, by saying Punk is the best in the world.

JR calls Punk a jackass instead and Punk is mad. He wants to know what JR is going to do if Punk gets physical. Will Ross scream for Austin to help, because Austin isn’t here. Today is the 316^th day Punk has been champion which means that number now belongs to Punk. JR belongs to Punk right now too and JR is going to say it, no matter what. Ross says no because he’s called some of the best matches of all time with the best in the world in them and those people have earned the right. Punk needs to walk into the Cell and beat Cena, and then JR will say he’s the best in the world.

Punk takes his jacket off and steals JR’s hat which he stomps on. Them are fighting words in Oklahoma. JR looks like he’s about to cry and Punk talks about all the time he’s beaten Cena and makes fun of the Thunder for losing in the NBA Finals. Punk gives JR a chance to run or he’s going to get knocked out. JR goes to leave but Punk stops him, saying there’s no more commentary for JR for the rest of the night. Punk makes him take the walk of shame and berates him as he leaves.

Cue Ryback and JR immediately turns back towards the ring. Ryback stares Punk down with JR behind him. Punk doesn’t back down at first and the fans are chanting FEED ME MORE. Now Punk backs down, which is something he said he never does in his promo a few moments before.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Post Smackdown Del Rio attacked the already down Orton to put Orton off TV to film the movie I’d assume. Ricardo is going to do commentary here. This should be good. Del Rio immediately takes Kofi down to start but Kofi speeds things up as you would expect. Kofi knocks Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Alberto holding an abdominal stretch with Ricardo complaining that it’s 3-1 with Little Jimmy and R-Truth out there. Kofi escapes and hits an elbow and clothesline. A nice dropkick puts Del Rio down followed by the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise misses but the springboard cross body does as well. Armbreaker and we’re done at 6:10. Most of that was during the break so no rating, but this was nothing of note.

The coach talks to AJ in the back about putting aside her personal issues. AJ wants something special to happen tonight, like making the coach the guest referee for the main event. This is only made interesting by hearing JR talking about doing a reveal in something we weren’t supposed to hear. That’s production gaffe #3 tonight. For those of you counting, I only mentioned one of them. An incorrect graphic was put up earlier as well as AJ’s music playing too early.

Hell No vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title and AJ’s coach is referee for some reason. Scratch that as after the break before the match, AJ comes out as referee. Well I’m assuming she looks better in the outfit if nothing else. Kane and Ziggler start things off with Kane shoving him around a lot. Ziggler tries to get on Kane’s back but gets clotheslined to the floor. Bryan tags himself in as we take ANOTHER break.

Back with Ziggler holding Kane in the sleeper which means nothing anymore. A dropkick puts Kane down for two but the monster comes back with the low dropkick for two. A jumping DDT takes Kane down again and there’s the tag to Punk for the corner clothesline. Say it with me: the bulldog is countered. A side slam gets two on Punk as we still haven’t seen Bryan yet.

Kane hits the clothesline but as usual, Bryan tags in while Kane sets for the chokeslam. Punk kicks Bryan out of the air but Bryan moonsaults out of the corner. A clothesline from Daniel sets up the kicks and he takes Ziggler down as well, only to walk into the high kick for two. Dolph comes in and dropkicks Bryan to the floor. Bryan gets thrown into the barricade which gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Punk who goes up and gets crotched by Bryan. A butterfly superplex sets up the NO Lock on Punk but Punk (with Heyman’s help) makes the rope. AJ ejects both Heyman and Vickie, which makes Ziggler leave as well. Punk walks into the chokeslam and kane gets the pin at 12:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but it felt more like an angle than the match itself. Bryan and Kane have more or less been turned face now which is the best thing for both of them. They also weren’t featured as much tonight which is another good thing for them, as the company was bordering on overkill with them. Not a great match but it did its job….whatever that was.

Overall Rating: D+. This one felt flat to me. The biggest problem of all was that in the first two hours or so, everything felt really short, making it hard to get into anything. I’m wondering what the point was in squashing Clay, but more importantly we have Ryback getting face to face with Punk in the ring and the place going NUTS. That’s a really good sign for Ryback and hopefully it means something for the future. Not a good show tonight as it felt really flat, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Epico/Primo – Top Rope Splash to Primo

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

The Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Tensai – Clothesline

Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Spinning Neckbreaker

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater via DQ when Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal interfered

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Hell No b. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk – Chokeslam to Punk

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