Smackdown
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is on the request list for one reason: Mysterio vs. Morrison. Mysterio had been wellnessed while still being the Intercontinental Champion, so a match was thrown together and was a match of the year candidate. Other than that I have no idea what’s coming here. We’re approaching Breaking Point which means Punk is about to defend the title against Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk winning a loser leaves the WWE match against Jeff Hardy recently. This transitions into a pretty awesome career highlight reel for Hardy.

In a great opening, CM Punk comes out in a nearly perfect Jeff Hardy outfit to Jeff’s music and nailing Jeff’s mannerisms. The kids in the audience exploded when they heard Hardy’s music but once they figured it out they looked furious. Punk talks about how this is the last time you’ll ever see a trace of the Charismatic Enabler (great nickname) which is a good thing because the people that cheer for him are too weak to have Hardy around. Now they have a champion they can look up to and he’ll never fail a test or miss a show because of an incident.

This brings him around to the Undertaker because Punk is now an icon on Smackdown as well. He’s won back to back Money in the Bank ladder matches as well as sent Jeff Hardy packing. Punk says if Undertaker wants to come out here right now that’s cool with the champ. There’s no Taker so Punk runs down the Dead Man a bit before bashing the fans for being so easily lead to believe anything. At Breaking Point, it’s one on one and Punk has no breaking point, which is why he can’t lose.

Punk says he’s stronger than any alcohol and straighter than any line you can shoot up your nose. He does however have one vice, which we don’t get to hear because here’s Matt Hardy. Matt charges at Punk and the brawl is on quickly. Neither guy really gets an advantage so they break it up.

Taker is back tonight.

Punk yells at Teddy so Teddy makes Matt vs. Punk non-title tonight.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Vince comes in to see Teddy and it’s a plug for the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Vince talks about the title match between Punk and Taker and his jacket a bit. Not sure what the point of this was but that’s the case with most Vince segments.

Eve and Maria are in the back. Eve wants to beat up Natalya and Maria is overly perky. Michelle McCool comes in on crutches and makes fun of them, saying that Ziggler is going to dump Maria. Melina comes in and it’s a big argument that goes nowhere.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Here comes R-Truth but Drew McIntyre jumps him. McIntyre says that he’s going to keep ruining our parties until he gets the respect he deserves.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Matt Hardy says he’s out for revenge tonight, rather than the world title or his soul.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Taker chokeslams Punk through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I was digging this show. We had two good matches, good looking women having a competent match where they looked like they knew what they were doing, a solid promo from the champions, and an entertaining show overall. It’s amazing how much better things are here when they take the show seriously and not as a Raw supplement. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2012
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

There are two top stories tonight and both of them involve health issues. First and foremost we have Jerry Lawler’s first interview since having his heart attack two weeks ago. This should be a feel good moment which is always cool to see. Other than that we have the recently operated on John Cena talking about his timetable for a return to the ring. Let’s get to it.

Punk and Heyman are in the ring to start. Punk is in a chair and Heyman says that the show won’t be going on until justice is served. We get a clip from the end of last week’s show with the referee missing Punk having his foot on the ropes. Heyman asks Brad Maddox, the referee and former FCW wrestler, to come out here, apologize, and tender his resignation.

Maddox comes out and says that it was his first main event match and he was nervous. He admits he was wrong but he isn’t going to resign. Punk pops out of the chair and yells at Maddox, asking how he got this job. Maddox says that AJ called him when Raw expanded to three hours. Heyman goes into an NFL-inspired rant about how Maddox is a replacement and pulls out an eye cover with the WWE and NFL logos on them.

This brings out AJ who says that Heyman needs to stop making assumptions. Punk goes on a huge rant against AJ, talking about how he’s the reason she has a job. He accuses AJ of hating him because of the whole jilting storyline from over the summer. After a clip of Punk turning down her proposal, Punk talks about how AJ sent him a bunch of texts and wore his shirt all the time. Punk implies that AJ skips because of how good the sex was with him.

Heyman asks if he can take over and drops to a knee in front of AJ…..and asks her to marry him. He talks about how powerful of a couple they would be, even outranking HHH and Stephanie. Heyman will come up with all of the ideas and AJ can take credit for all of the brilliance. She smiles a bit and slaps him in the face before leaving.

Post break Maddox talks to AJ who says that if what happened last week happens again, Maddox will never work in this business again. AJ says this while looking on the verge of another nervous breakdown. She stops responding to him while looking off into the distance.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kington

Another Twitter induced match here. Truth is here with a soda and popcorn. Vickie makes fun of Little Jimmy and the end result is Vickie taking the soda to the face. Vickie and Truth get ejected before the match starts. Kofi knocks Dolph to the floor quickly and hits a BIG flip dive to take Ziggler out as we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control and avoiding a charge in the corner. A reverse powerslam gets two for Dolph.

Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down and hooks on the chinlock. It’s so much nicer to have Cole being neutral here like he was last week. It’s making a notable difference. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and the comeback is on. The Boom Drop hits but the kick is caught. SOS is countered but Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner. Springboard right hand gets two as does the springboard crossbody. Kofi misses a shot and there’s the Fameasser for two for Dolph. This is getting good. Zig Zag is blocked and the SOS gets a VERY close two.

Kofi goes to the corner but jumps into a dropkick. Ziggler’s feet are caught in a catapult to send Ziggler into the corner. He jumps at Kofi but Kingston rolls away into the corner, coming off the top with a HUGE spinning crossbody for an even closer two. The kick misses again and the Zig Zag FINALLY gets the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B+. There’s a lot to say about this one. First of all, WHAT A MATCH. This was one of the most exciting TV matches I’ve seen in months with some insane near falls. More importantly though, THIS is why Ziggler got over in the first place: having these awesome matches and making it look like he could beat anyone. They desperately need to rebuild him as he’s clearly destined for the world title, but having him lose all the time and then giving him the title is going to ruin what could be a good title reign by making him look like a loser. Have him get some wins like this and the problem goes away though. Great match.

We get a recap of the awesome ending to Smackdown with Kane and Bryan having their psycho bonding moment resulting in a pile of bodies around them.

Earlier today, Bryan and Dr. Shelby had lunch and Shelby has an idea for how to build trust with Kane and Bryan. Kane comes up and is apparently the waiter. Bryan orders the steamed vegetable platter and a tag partner who isn’t a freak. Shelby says this isn’t Kane, but rather Gerald the friendly waiter. Gerald says there’s a new cook because the old one got on his nerves. Apparently the old cook had his face dipped in a deep fryer and his beard was sprinkled over every meal served today. Shelby asks Kane if he’s serious, but Kane says his name is Gerald.

You get to name the team name for Bryan and Kane.

Prime Time Players vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

See how easy it is to get people on the roster doing stuff? This is where a tag division can help you: you can get people on the show and you can get a lot of them at once. Ryder and Young start things off with the former getting caught in a flapjack for two. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes, followed by a Young chinlock. Zack fights up and dives into a tag to Santino, who hits his usual stuff and gets two off a headbutt. Things break down for a second and Titus gets a blind tag. He blocks the Cobra and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin at 1:54.

There’s a special guest here tonight.

Here’s Mick Foley who is indeed the special guest. He’s here as a member of the WWE Universe who occasionally sees things on Raw that move him. A year ago, he saw the emergence of CM Punk. Foley talks about how Punk was the voice of the voiceless and here’s the champ to interrupt him. Punk tells Foley not to grandstand out here and asks for respect.

Foley talks about how a year ago, he sent a text to Punk after Punk won the title, asking how it felt to be the biggest star in the business. Two minutes later, Punk replied saying that it meant a lot to hear that coming from Foley. Foley believes he’s one of the only people that Punk responded to that night, so as someone Punk has deemed relevant, Foley is concerned about Punk’s change of attitude and his alignment of Paul Heyman.

Punk yells at the fans and tells Foley that Foley has no idea what he’s talking about. Foley says he used to be a Paul Heyman guy until he stopped listening to Heyman, which is when he finally became something in this business. Foley thinks Punk has been listening to Heyman for a lot longer than a month. Punk doesn’t but it but Foley says that he isn’t accusing Heyman of lying through his teeth, but rather of looking out for himself instead of Punk.

Foley asks a very interesting question: why would one of the best talkers of all time need a mouthpiece? Punk has to decide if he’s going to be an inspiration or a Kool-Aid drinker. If Punk doesn’t want to talk about that, Foley can talk about something he certainly knows about: Hell in a Cell. Fourteen years ago Foley was thrown off the Cell and since then, he hasn’t had to earn any kind of respect. He lists off some names that have earned respect in the Cell like Shawn, Undertaker and HHH, but Punk doesn’t seem impressed.

Punk asks if Foley wants the old CM Punk. Foley says he wants Punk to show that he’s the best in the world by stepping inside the Cell with John Cena. The fans want it too but Punk talks about how he’s heard this speech from Foley and Cena and Hart and look where he is now: in the ring with someone else beneath him. Punk has done everything that everyone has told him he had to do to earn respect but he hasn’t gotten it yet. He talks about Foley jumping off a house and setting himself on fire and all those things, but Punk isn’t going to lower himself to that.

Punk talks about the amount of days that he’s been world champion, whereas Foley says the important number is 29. That’s the amount of time that Foley held the title in his three reigns. It’s not stats and numbers that make you a legend but the moments that you have in the ring. Foley has talked to AJ and even though Cena has had elbow surgery, he should be ready for the PPV. It’s up to Punk if he wants to fight Cena in the Cell. Great segment here as Foley can still talk with the best of them. Punk looks a little shaken.

The Miz vs. Ryback

Non-title here. Miz gets in a single shot to start and is launched across the ring. Ryback misses a charge into the corner but Miz’s neckbreaker is countered into a powerslam. Ryback slams the champ’s head into the mat and Miz bails to the floor. Miz manages to kick him into the barricade and hits some kicks to the head and the low DDT back in the ring for one. A powerbomb kills Miz and we’ve got a fan in the ring. There’s the clothesline to take Miz’s head off. Shell Shock and Miz is done at 2:56. Basically a squash which is a great sign for Ryback.

Back to Kane and Bryan who are now eating lunch together. Kane says they’ll never be friends and Bryan agrees. They reminisce over making eight people scream with Kane pounding the table like he hit the guys and Bryan shouting YES over and over. Mae Young pops up and says she’ll have what they’re having, ala When Harry Met Sally. These two are pure gold together right now and this was another hilarious segment.

AJ talks to the referees in the back and reenforces the fact that there won’t be instant replay in the WWE. She says that it’s ok to make mistakes and go have a great rest of the show. They leave and here are Alberto and company. Tonight it’s Alberto/Otunga/Ricardo vs. Sheamus/Sin Cara/Mysterio. AJ leaves and Ricardo is all fired up about this.

Wade Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd fires off some dropkicks to start but gets kicked in the ribs to slow him down. Barrett puts him in the ropes and kicks him in the face and out to the floor. I’m digging this slower pace from Barrett and the beard is a great touch. Back in and Kidd gets his sunset rollup for two but walks into the Boss Man Slam for two. The forearm/elbow to the head which is called the Souvenir knocks Kidd out for the pin at 2:20.

It’s time for the interview with Lawler who is sitting on a freaking throne. That’s awesome. Lawler gets a huge ovation. His voice isn’t sounding right but it’s because he had a ventilator down his throat for so long. Lawler says he remembers Hart and Punk having their confrontation but he doesn’t remember anything after that. He doesn’t even remember his match that night. When he woke up, he thought he was in Aruba with his girlfriend where he had been two weeks before the heart attack.

Lawler is overwhelmed by the response and thanks the fans for their love. Cole asks the big question: when is Lawler going to be back? Jerry says this was a long time coming, as he had to sit by Cole for three hours every week and anyone would have a heart attack from that. He’ll be back as soon as his doctors say it’s ok for him to do so. This was an awesome moment.

Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus/Sin Cara

Ricardo introduces himself in a funny spot. This is joined in progress after a break with Otunga getting beaten up by Sheamus. Cara and Mysterio hit big dives through the ropes to take out Alberto and Ricardo, but it seems to have hurt Rey’s knee. Cara comes in and speeds things up against Ricardo who is wrestling in a tux. Rey is back on the apron now. A shot to the back of Cara’s head gets two and it’s off to Del Rio.

Alberto kicks Cara in the ribs and hits a Rollins Blackout for two. Ricardo comes back in and goes for Cara’s mask, only to get arm dragged down. Hot tag brings in Rey who speeds things up and hits his kicks to the head for two. Rey goes up but gets caught by a running enziguri to the head for two. The Prime Time Players are watching in the back. Back to Ricardo who gets some basic stomps and brings in Otunga. Make that Alberto as the heels are tagging in and out very fast as is the custom in WWE anymore.

Del Rio hits another running enzugri for another two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and makes the tag to Sheamus. Otunga escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick before tagging in Rodriguez. There are the ten forearms and one more after the shirt is ripped open. 619 takes out Ricardo but he has to beat up Alberto. Sin Cara comes in with a springboard Swanton for the pin on Ricardo at 7:46 shown.

Rating: C. This was fine for what it was. The good guys got to beat up the bad guys, but we need another opponent for Sheamus. I’ve heard rumors of a name but I don’t want to spoil it. Either way it’s WAY better than Alberto, so hopefully the announcement of the next feud is made on Friday because I can’t take more of Del Rio’s whining. This was fine and felt like a fun house show main event.

Otunga takes a Brogue Kick post match.

Back to the diner with Shelby, Kane and Bryan all at the table now. The waitress brings a plate of vegetables and a plate of meatballs and puts them in front of the opposite person that would usually eat either. Both take bites to learn how the other half lives. Kane belches loudly and Bryan says it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be before vomiting on Shelby’s lap. Kane of course bends over to look and says check please.

Cole gives us the options for Kane and Bryan’s team name:

Team Teamwork

Team HELL NO

Team Friendship

The team is officially named…….Team HELL NO by a pretty wide margin. That’s the name I was hoping for. As they stand there though, Sandow and Rhodes run in and jump the champions. Cody names their team Team Rhodes Scholars.

We recap Heyman proposing to AJ earlier as well as Foley and Punk.

Layla/Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix

Layla and Beth start but it’s quickly off to Alicia for a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Beth powerslams her down and hits a slingshot suplex as she tags in Eve for the neckbreaker and the pin at 1:30.

Post match Kaitlyn comes out and says she found the security footage of her attack. The face couldn’t be seen, but it was a blonde. Eve accuses Beth but she says no. Eve decks Beth and lays her out with the neckbreaker.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

They charge at each other and fight over a tieup. Brodus headbutts him down and hits the suplex but the splash misses. Tensai’s backsplash misses….and here’s Big Show. Tensai gets knocked out for the DQ at 1:48.

Brodus charges into a knockout punch too.

Orton vs. Big Show on Friday.

Here’s Cena to close things out. The fans are mostly booing him even though his arm is in a sling at the moment. He wasn’t supposed to be here but he needed to be here to thank the fans personally. He thanks the fans for their support of the cancer research support which is very cool. Cena says it’s been a rough week and it sounds great to hear those boos again. We get a Cena chant and there isn’t any sucking involved.

Cena wants to apologize to Chad Patton and Brad Maddox, the referees that have been in trouble. He says consider the source, and also apologizes for Punk. Punk has misquoted Cena by saying that leaving Night of Champions as champion would be a moment. Cena goes into a PG tirade which makes me chuckle for some reason. He also wants to apologize for the sling he’s in. Cena can’t guarantee anything other than he’s going to walk into HIAC as a fighter.

That brings out Punk and Heyman with the champ saying that Cena should be a politician. There’s one CM Punk and he beat Cena at Money in the Bank last year and back to back years at Summerslam. Punk isn’t about to lose to a one armed man, so Cena says why don’t you just fight me in the Cell and see what happens. The champ says no with a reason being that Cena keeps getting title shots.

That’s not the top reason though. Cena isn’t going to be medically cleared because of what Punk is going to do to him. Punk says run because if Cena is around when Punk turns back around, he’s going to hurt John like he hasn’t been hurt in a long time. Punk turns around and counts but Cena pulls out a lead pipe. Heyman runs and Cena hits Punk in the ribs with the pipe. Cena: “REAL MEN WEAR PINK!” John says that’s a pipe bomb as Punk crawls away to end the show.

Actually scratch that as Punk is shown in the back walking by a line of people.  Foley looks at him but Punk keeps walking.  Punk turns around and kicks Foley in the groin.  He turns around and sees RYBACK.  Punk backs away terrified to really end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I don’t know what changed in the WWE lately but they’re on a roll. Since Night of Champions there’s an energy that this company hasn’t had in a long time and it’s showing off. Between the tag division actually existing and Bryan/Kane stealing every show and Punk nailing it on the mic and Sheamus FINALLY not feuding with Del Rio anymore and a bunch of new guys getting pushes, things are really looking up around here. This was another good and entertaining show, and it’s so nice to be able to say that about Raw again.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Prime Time Players b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus to Marella

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Wade Barrett b. Tyson Kidd – Souvenir

Sheamus/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio – Springboard Swanton Bomb to Rodriguez

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix b. Layla/Alicia Fox – Swinging Neckbreaker to Fox

Tensai b. Brodus Clay via DQ when Big Show interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Somebody mentioned this on my forums and while I thought it was easy to do, the more I thought about it the harder this challenge became.  The obvious one is Bret vs. Benoit in the Owen match, but other than the classics from Nitro are few and far between.

What lists do you guys have?  I can rack my brain and probably come up with five but this is a lot harder than I was expecting.  On Raw I can probably give you a top ten of great matches from just Shawn Michaels but for Nitro it’s not so easy.  Thoughts/suggestions other than Bret vs. Benoit?

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 10, 2000
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after that mess of a 2002 show I just did, this is my reward I guess. We’re just after Wrestlemania and HHH is still champion. Other than that there isn’t much to say other than we need an opponent for the title at Backlash. I’m not sure why this was requested by given that it’s 2000, I’d bet on it being something to do with the Rock. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Rock to open the show and the place erupts. We’re near Miami so that has something to do with it I’m sure. Rock has video from last week of Vince which has nothing to do with a 900lb tuna and a pair of chopsticks. It’s from Smackdown with Vince hitting a referee to keep Rock from pinning I think Road Dogg. Rock laid out Vince on the stage in retaliation, followed by hitting him in the head with a chair. Rock has one more clip for Vince to see, and it’s of Vince out cold on the stage with Rock’s foot on his chest.

After everything Rock has done to Stephanie and Vince, Rock still wants more. He wants his WWF Title shot and he wants it tonight. Cue Vince with a chair to the ring. Rock says Vince has three options: he can put the chair down, swing at Rock, or have it shined up and stuck in a strategic place. Vince: “I’ll put it down, but if you move towards me your head will be like crushed papaya.” Who talks like that? Well other than Rock of course. Tonight, Rock gets a chance to earn a title match if he wins a cage match against someone to be announced. Somehow, no one had noticed the BIG FREAKING CAGE above the ring.

Vince says Rock has to earn everything he gets now and there are no more freebies. Vince wants Rock to think about who he (Rock) is. About a year ago, it was Vince that made Rock who he was. It wasn’t the people and it wasn’t the Rock, but rather Vince that made the Rock. Rock would have been a star, but not a superstar. Vince thinks Rock would have made a good Doink or a good Gobbledygooker or a GREAT Bastian Booger. With Vince’s help, Rock hosted SNL and was on the Tonight Show. All Vince was looking for was a thank you. That’s why Vince did it: he was never thanked.

Vince thinks Rock is an ingrate but Rock doesn’t really care, albeit in a bit more colorful language. Vince wants to know what’s up with Rock’s insane way of speaking and accuses Rock of being a pervert. This is VINCE MCMAHON accusing someone of being a pervert that is obsessed with the rectal cavity. Actually Rock is obsessed with what comes out of the rectal cavity. Vince says Rock could take all of what comes out of the collective rectal cavities of the people here, put it in a pizza oven and only then could we smell what Rock is cooking. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN???

Cue HHH, Shane and Stephanie to keep this segment going. Vince goes for Rock with the chair but Rock blasts Vince in the back with it instead before holding off HHH and Shane with said chair. To call this an overly long and borderline bizarre segment would be the understatement of the year.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Road Dogg/X-Pac

The Canadians are defending. I love that King of Rock music that DX uses here. Christian and X-Pac start things off with Pac getting beaten up. Off to Edge who hits a spinwheel kick for two. DX double teams to take over and stomp on Edge in the corner. There are the dancing punches and shaky kneedrop from Roadie for two. A double clothesline from Edge takes DX down again and it’s an ice cold tag to Christian. Edge goes to the floor but gets posted. Back inside, Christian tries the Unprettier but Road Dogg hits him with a belt for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here other than the title change. X-Pac and Road Dogg never quite worked that well as a tag team but they were trying at least. If nothing else there’s Tori in those tiny outfits of hers which is never a bad thing. Edge and Christian would get a lot better in a hurry.

Never mind as the referee see the belt and starts the match again. Edge spears X-Pac in about 15 seconds to retain.

Godfather is with his ladies.

Kat and Terri, former enemies, leave for a girl’s day out. As they leave, Eddie and Chyna, the new couple, arrive.

Kurt Angle vs. Godfather

Nothing to see here. Angle talks a bit about abstinence before the match in a funny bit that probably only he could pull off. The girls look good, Godfather does his schtick, the Angle Slam gets the pin in about two minutes. Nothing to see at all.

Big Show is excited and is going to be cutting loose from now on.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi/Tazz

What a bizarre team. Grandmaster isn’t in this team for no apparent reason other than a knee/ankle injury. Scotty and Benoit start things off and things speed up fast. Scotty suplexes him down and moonwalks, so Dean decks him from behind. Off to Saturn as the Radicalz take over. Scott gets rammed into the buckle and it’s back to Benoit.

The Radicalz tag in and out very quickly here and Dean gets two off a rollup. Hot tag brings in Rikishi who cleans house and gives Dean a Stink Face. Everything breaks down and it’s Worm time for Dean. Sweet goodness was that move over. Benoit breaks up a charge from Rikishi and Scotty puts Dean in a Cloverleaf. Benoit and Rikishi fight up the ramp and Saturn clotheslines Scotty so Dean can get the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work all that well. Having Tazz out there didn’t fit at all as he did nothing of note, making this basically a handicap match. Then again Tazz didn’t really exist as much more than a warm body for his entire run with the company. Nothing to the match and it wasn’t anything of note either.

Kat is having her hair done and Terri hands her a spiked drink.

WWF Title: HHH vs. ???

Apparently HHH is giving an impromptu title defense against some random opponent. In the back, Kai En Tai walks through some doors…..accompanied by the APA. HHH isn’t happy with the bigger guys but the opponent is Taka Michinoku. The Acolytes chase off Shane and Stephanie so Taka jumps HHH and gets in some fast paced offense, including a headscissors and dropkick for two. Taka fires away in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two.

HHH finally gets in a shot and Taka is in trouble in a hurry. A facebuster gets two as Lawler rips into JR for being against HHH. HHH gets in his traditional argument with Earl Hebner before sending Taka into the steps on the floor. Funaki cheats a bit and HHH is sent into the APA, drawing a great scared face from the champion. The APA destroys HHH and a dropkick from Funaki and a moonsault press from Taka get two. Shane comes back with Vince who tries to buy off the APA, which proves to be a distraction so the Boss Man and Bull Buchanan can jump them. HHH counters a rana into a powerbomb and the Pedigree ends this clean.

Rating: C. This wasn’t awful and while I don’t think Taka’s own mother would have thought he had a chance here, they threw something different out there which is usually a fun idea. Not a great match or even a good one but HHH was so hated that the fans wanted any reason to believe that he could lose the title, even on a crazy fluke.

The Kane funnycar won a competition.

We get a clip of T&A preventing Trish from being put through a table. T&A destroy the Dudleys in the back.

T&A vs. Hardy Boys

Sweet goodness does Trish look great in white. This is back when she was a shameless sex pot and no one was complaining at all. Test and Matt start us off. This was back in the period when I had no idea which Hardy was which. Matt hits a quick moonsault press for two but Test busts out his gutwrench powerbomb for two before bringing in Albert.

Albert fires off shoulders in the corner and counters a neckbreaker into a side slam. The currently known Tensai misses a middle rope legdrop and there’s the hot tag to Jeff. It doesn’t quite matter though as Test kills him with a clothesline, followed by a nice note from the referee that they have two minutes left. Everything breaks down and Test is sent to the floor. The Twist and Swanton out of nowhere get the pin on Albert in far less than two minutes.

Rating: C. This is certainly not a failure due to Trish in her outfit alone. Other than that, the match was ok due to the Hardys being masters of selling, especially for monsters like they had to face here. Test and Albert were fine for a vehicle to get Trish over and they certainly did that pretty well. The match was fine.

Post match here are the Dudleys with a 3D for Test. They load up a table but Trish stares at Bubba to distract him. Albert jumps Bubba from behind and chokebombs him through the table instead, enforcing Wrestling Law #1.

Val Venis vs. Big Show

Show is dressed as Val here which is a rather different look for him. At least it distracts from the horrible R&B version of his theme. Show does a bad sounding Val imitation but the mannerisms and outfit (pink trunks with the V) make up for it. Val tries to jump Show to start and is promptly knocked to the floor. Show misses a running boot and crotches himself on the top rope. A shoulder puts Show down and a middle rope elbow gets two. Val keeps running which ticks Show off enough that Show rips his wig off and chokes Val out for a DQ.

Show gyrates a bit to make people smile.

European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending in a rematch from last week where Chyna joined Eddie to cost Jericho the title. Jericho says he’s happy with the new couple but he isn’t sure which of them is the man and which of them has the bigger package. Jericho hits a fast backbreaker to start and the champ runs, hiding behind the referee. Eddie might have dropkicked Jericho low and takes over. Jerry makes some very dated Elian Gonzalez jokes, which apparently were old even then.

Eddie works on the knee and hooks a Figure Four, putting it on the correct leg and thereby making him more proficient at the hold than Flair himself is. Jericho makes the rope and doesn’t seem all that interested in selling the knee. Eddie charges into a boot in the corner and gets backdropped down as Jericho makes his comeback. Jericho loads up the Walls but Chyna’s distraction lets Eddie rolls Jericho up for two. Chyna throws Eddie the belt but before Eddie can hit Jericho, Eddie is knocked into the referee. Jericho hits the Lionsault but Chyna takes out Jericho with a DDT, letting Eddie get the pin to retain, just like last week.

Rating: C-. For a Jericho vs. Guerrero match, I was expecting a lot better performance here. This was almost the same match as last week which doesn’t exactly make me care about the feud that much. Chyna and Eddie went on to have a pretty big run together which was pretty entertaining at the same time. Not a great match here and Jericho’s non-selling was annoying.

The cage is lowered.

Terri wakes up the Kat who has short green hair now. Kat screams so Terri hands her a dog.

The Rock vs. ???

It’s pin/submission/escape here. The opponent(s) are Boss Man and Buchanan, as introduced by HHH and company. Rock fires away on both guys to start before the numbers catch up with him. Both guys beat him down and go for the escape but Rock pulls them both down in a nice display of athleticism. Rock goes to escape but Shane climbs the cage for the save, allowing Buchanan to crotch Rock for the real stop.

A legdrop gets two for Buchanan and Rock is still in trouble. Gee, who would have bet on him getting beaten down this much to start? The ax kick from Bull puts Rock down again for two from both big guys and they’re getting frustrated three minutes into the match. There’s a double suplex to Rock and things slow down a lot. A lot of choking ensues and Rock is sent into the cage.

Buchanan tries the one cool move he can do, a spinning clothesline off the top, but it hits Boss Man by mistake. Rock makes his comeback and hits a Samoan Drop on Bull for two before walking into a sidewalk slam from Boss Man for two. Rock knocks Boss Man down and sees Buchanan trying to leave. He hits Bull in the back and catches a jumping Bull in a Rock Bottom for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Did anyone not know the ending from the opening bell here? The fans were into it but it doesn’t do much this many years later. At the end of the day there was no way Rock wasn’t winning here off a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. It sets up HHH vs. Rock though at one of the best shows ever so I can’t complain much about that.

Post match HHH and Shane destroy Rock with brass knuckles and a Pedigree. Rock is busted open and HHH says he’s done playing with him. The APA comes out to save Rock from a Pedigree on a chair and chase off HHH and Shane to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty weak show overall, but it would set up the best feud HHH ever had over the summer. HHH was just so freaking good at this point as one of the best heels of all time. You pair him with a guy as insanely popular as the Rock and there was no way they weren’t going to give you one of the best feuds ever. This show however was pretty dull with most of the matches not working and the main event being predictable. It set up better stuff down the road though so at least there’s that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’ve been a bit busy and had a bad case of writer’s block on a new I Want To Talk A Little Bit About.  Things should pick up this week.

KB

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another Twitter request which I’d love to get more of. Anyway the main event tonight is a pretty big match with the NWO vs. Rock/Austin in a handicap match. Other than that…..oh this is the go home show for Wrestlemania. That probably has something to do with the request, but it’s hard to say what to expect as far as quality. Either they’ll be on fire or they’ll be going at half speed because of fear of messing up Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Rob Van Dam/Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys/William Regal

We’re combining PPV match here, although the tag teams are in a four way with two other teams. Regal is IC Champion and cost Van Dam the Hardcore Title on Thursday. It’s a big brawl to start with Regal vs. Van Dam in the ring. Van Dam gets two almost immediately off Rolling Thunder. The arena is full of smoke so Van Dam and the Hardys have an automatic advantage. D-Von tries to set up a table for no apparent reason but Rob baseball slides it into his face.

Jeff comes in but Regal kicks him in the head to take over. What’s Up keeps Jeff down but he hits a Whisper in the Wind to take D-Von down. Hot tag brings in Matt vs. Regal with Matt cleaning house. Everything breaks down and it’s a 3D to Jeff, a Twist of Fate to D-Von, a Bubba Bomb to Matt, a top rope kick to Bubba, a spin kick to Regal, and a Five Star to Regal for the pin. The last three were all by the same guy.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here at all and I’m always a fan of putting two feuds together into one match. This doesn’t do much for the tag teams but it makes Van Dam look like a bigger threat to Regal and the title which is the point of this match. Not a great match but the ending was good.

Vince and Flair are at an emergency board meeting in Connecticut. Vince says the company is in a state of emergency due to Flair. He talks about how the company is falling apart because they have no direction. Actually this speech would be better served later in the year but you get the point. Tonight, Vince would like a unanimous vote for full owenership and control of the company.

Here’s Angle with something to say. He talks about how he got ripped off in his title match with Jericho due to Kane’s interference. Angle calls himself the Big Red White and Blue Machine which makes me chuckle. They have a match at Wrestlemania now and Angle is going to make that whole burning alive thing look like a paper cut. However, Kane isn’t the only one to blame for Angle not getting the title shot. It’s also the fans’ fault for the You Suck chants.

This brings out Booker in defense of the fans which is a surprise. The fans aren’t stupid. They’re beyond stupid. The fans have cost him his Japanese shampoo commercial and he doesn’t even have for Wrestlemania. This brings out Edge who says Booker is stupid (complete with clips of Booker being stupid on the Weakest Link, a trivia show that had a WWF week) and that he’ll be his Huckleberry for Wrestlemania. Booker says ok.

Angle says “You dang skippy, crystal clean with no caffeine.” Booker glares at him and Edge says Angle is just the Big White Machine. Angle tries a Spinarooni and we’ve got a tag match set up for later with Edge having a mystery partner. Edge asks for Angle’s music to be played so we can all practice our You Sucks.

Stephanie is in the back with HHH’s dog Lucy. She rips into the dog which is apparently a spoil of war in the divorce. HHH comes in and takes the dog but Stephanie won’t let him leave with the dog. A judge says the dog belongs to her because Stephanie told the judge how HHH mistreated Lucy. At least until the divorce is over. Did I mention we’re six days away from HHH being in the main event of WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA and they’re arguing over a dog? HHH throws the dog onto Stephanie and says she does stink, doesn’t she Lucy. Stephanie says she’ll introduce Lucy to someone that hates dogs worse than she does.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down and into the corner to start but Test punches him right back. Rikishi superkicks him down and hits an Earthquake before setting up the Stink Face, only to have Mr. Perfect, the cause for this match somehow, come out and distract Rikishi. Test hits a big boot for the pin. This was nothing.

Jericho comes in to see Stephanie and Lucy and throws Lucy off the couch. Stephanie CAN’T FREAKING ACT. The dog relieves itself on the carpet. Six days until Wrestlemania. I want you to keep that in mind.

And the joke KEEPS GOING as Jericho takes the dog for a walk. Jericho ties her to the door of a limo and leaves her outside.

DDP is at catering when Christian comes up. He’s DDP’s protege but it’s not quite working. DDP gives him a smiling lesson so Billy and Chuck come up and make thinly veiled gay jokes. Christian vs. Billy is made for later.

Back to the board meeting, which is totally cool to have cameras in of course. Vince shows a clip from Smackdown with Flair beating up Undertaker. Flair was arrested but he’s at the meeting anyway. I can’t remember his name but the cop is from OVW.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Al Snow

Goldie is defending. There are weapons in the ring to start so they fight on the floor to get things going. The champ loads up Shattered Dreams but Snow gets out of the way. There’s a fire extinguisher shot and the Snowplow gives Snow the title in like a minute.

Jericho tries to find air freshener for Stephanie and is going to an all night store to get some. It’s like 9:45 and they need an all night store? The limo backs up and apparently it hit Lucy.

Back with MORE DOG STUFF! HHH finds out what happened and Lucy is still alive. Help is requested. I’m terrified to think of what the payoff of this is going to be tonight.

Booker T/Kurt Angle vs. Edge/???

The mystery partner is….Big Show. I know Kane isn’t here tonight, but WHY isn’t Kane here tonight? I don’t think we’ve ever been given a reason for that. Booker and Show start with Booker hammering away to no avail. Angle comes in and gets thrown around as well and chopped in the corner. Apparently Kane has a concussion. See, that wasn’t so hard. A quick ankle lock is countered by pure power. Both heels are sent to the floor and Edge plays the Jimmy Snuka to Show’s Andre and dives onto both of them on the floor.

Back in and Angle charges into a Canadian boot but Angle Germans Edge down to take over. Booker comes in but gets kicked down as well and it’s off to Big Show. Off to Show vs. Angle and another kick to the face takes Angle down. A double chokeslam is countered so Show suplexes both of them instead. Everything breaks down and Booker kicks Show in the face as he’s trying the chokeslam on Kurt. Edge spears Booker down but it’s an Angle Slam and ankle lock for the tap out from Big Show.

Rating: C. Well it’s not like Big Show had anything to do on Sunday anyway so him doing the job is the only possible answer. Not a great match or anything but again it does some work for two matches which is a great idea coming into Sunday. Edge vs. Angle would get started later this year and it would launch Edge WAY up the ladder.

Stephanie freaks out about Lucy but Jericho has a plan.

Torrie, Jackie and Terri are in swimsuits at WWF New York to promote a Divas special. THANK GOODNESS Jackie is blocked out by a guy’s head.

Billy vs. Christian

DDP jumps in on commentary. Billy pounds Christian down in the corner to start and hits a Jackhammer for no cover. Fameasser is avoided and Christian has a tantrum on the floor. Page goes over to calm him down but it lets Chuck clothesline Christian down. Billy hits the Fameasser on Christian but Page Diamond Cuts Billy to give Christian the cheap win.

Christian turns on Page post match and we’ve got a European Title (Page is champion) match on Sunday.

Back to the board meeting and Vince gives a big corporate speech about how Flair is an embarrassment to the company. This is MR. MCMAHON giving this speech. Keep in mind, Flair is fighting Undertaker on Sunday, not Vince. The Board is going to go talk and then vote on either Flair or Vince.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler

I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.

Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.

HHH is back and he’s in ANGRY mode. He’s looking for Stephanie but Steph is coming to the ring. She swears it was an accident and here’s HHH. Stephanie runs but HHH drags her back to the ring. The only good thing about this: Stephanie tries to crawl away but HHH grabs her by the pants, giving us a great uncensored view.

HHH loads up a Pedigree but Jericho runs in and hits him in the repaired thigh with a sledgehammer twice. HHH thinks it’s torn again. The Game is taken to the back and Jericho takes the leg out again. See here’s the thing: why did we need the Lucy stuff? Take that away and do this angle and it’s THE SAME EXACT THING.

JR and Jerry debate if this was a setup or not. IS EVERYONE TIHS FREAKING STUPID???

Back to the board meeting because we haven’t been dumbed down enough tonight. Flair says he’s going to have his match on Sunday no matter what, so Vince gets a full vote of confidence, giving him full power back…..until Wrestlemania, after which the board can review the decision. Flair thanks the board for meeting tonight (despite the video saying this was earlier today) and talks about his match on Sunday. You have to remember that Flair and Vince hadn’t had any issues since February and it’s been Flair vs. Taker for the last month or so, making this even more ridiculous.

Hogan is fired up for tonight and for Wrestlemania and getting to face Rock. The NWO promises history tonight.

New World Order vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

This is the first time the NWO has ever competed together in the WWF. Rock and Hall start things off but a Hogan distraction lets Hall take over. This is a handicap match if that didn’t come through. Rock comes back and Hogan bails from the apron in fear. A clothesline gets two for Hall and it’s off to Nash. Rock pounds away but a sidewalk slam gets two for Nash. Snake Eyes puts Rock down and it’s off to Hogan.

Hogan pounds on Rock a bit and suplexes him down before Hall and Nash work Rock over a bit. There’s the hot tag to Austin who cleans house. Nash somehow botches a Thesz Press from Austin so Austin hits a spinebuster on Hall instead. Nash can’t even hit Austin in the head right so Austin clotheslines the Outsiders down. A big boot, the only move even Nash can’t screw up, takes Austin down and it’s back to Hall.

The fallaway slam gets two for Scott and it’s back to Nash. Kevin pounds on Austin in the corner and it’s back to Hall. A clothesline puts Austin down for two and now for the only time that I can EVER remember, it’s Hogan vs. Austin. Hogan pounds away with some punches and a chokeslam before tagging out to Hall. It only lasts 25 seconds, but that actually felt special. Hall chokeslams Austin down but the Razor’s Edge is broken up by a backdrop.

Austin’s comeback is stopped AGAIN by a clothesline but he takes Hall right back down. Hot tag brings in Rock vs. Nash and Rock cleans house….for about 20 seconds before Nash takes him down again. This feels like WCW all over again. Off to Hogan to clean up the Rock scraps, but Rock nips up to terrify Hulk. Nash of course stops the momentum and everything breaks down. In a REALLY anti-climactic ending, Hogan punches Rock, hits the boot and legdrop and gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Huge historical moment aside, this was a really odd match. It was basically a squash with the NWO never really breaking a sweat against two of the biggest stars of all time. Nash looked like he had never been in a ring before and the whole thing looked awful. Then again, this had Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan in a legal match so it gets an automatic pass.

The NWO cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL. Between the two WAY too long stories that went nowhere, the matches sucked and it felt like they threw Wrestlemania together six days before the show. Austin vs. Hall, pretty much the third biggest match on the show, wasn’t mentioned until the last fifteen seconds. On top of that, Jericho is a total afterthought to both Stephanie and A FREAKING DOG. He’s the Undisputed WWF Champion heading into the main event of Wrestlemania and he’s playing third fiddle to a wife and a dog. Absolutely horrible show and one of the worst go home shows I have ever seen.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #90
Date: June 2, 1997
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s hard to believe we’re almost halfway through 1997. I’m digging this idea of doing four shows at once as you get through the storylines a lot faster which is good when the stories are really dull, as they have been lately. Sting and Hogan is clearly being set up as a huge match somewhere in the future, which is the start of probably the biggest angle in the history of the company. Hopefully we get more of that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Hall and Syxx are in the ring to open the show. Hall says that the fans have been asking for more of the NWO because they’re the reason everyone is watching. They say they won at Slamboree and that Flair is recuperating in the La Brea tar pits. Hall calls out Flair for a fight but we get JJ Dillon instead. JJ says Flair is on his way here and tonight it’s Flair vs. Hall. Hall says no but if he doesn’t do it, then the Outsiders are stripped of the belts.

Opening sequence.

Alex Wright vs. Glacier

Wright wisely jumps Glacier during his elaborate entrance and takes over early. A spinwheel kick takes Glacier down and Wright pounds away in the corner. He stops to dance though and Glacier gets in some kicks, including the Cryonic Kick for the fast pin.

Post match here’s James Vanderberg for a distraction along with Mortis and Wrath who are spotted before they come in. The beatdown begins but Wright wants to get some revenge. That bell ringing over and over again is really annoying. Mortis aims a kick at Glacier but kicks Wright instead. Glacier fights both monsters off.

Buff Bagwell vs. Joe Gomez

Bagwell pounds him down and grabs the rope to avoid a Gomez dropkick. Bagwell talks to the camera for awhile before walking into a bad dropkick by Gomez. Joe throws some bad punches in the corner but gets dropped into the buckle and thrown out to the floor. Scott Norton, Buff’s partner, gets in some shots and sends Gomez back in for the Blockbuster and the pin by Buff.

Rating: D. Gomez was never in another match on Nitro and that’s a good thing. The guy just wasn’t that good and it’s pretty clear to see why he never amounted to anything. Bagwell wasn’t much better, although the Blockbuster has always been a favorite move of mine. Just a squash here but it was pretty bad looking while it lasted.

Mike Tenay gives us a quick profile on Ernest Miller.

We get a clip of Roddy Piper’s latest movie.

Hugh Morrus vs. Prince Iaukea

Konnan jumps Morrus on his way to the ring. Morrus pounds him down but he’s a bit shaken. They mess up a spot where Iaukea is supposed to slide between Morrus’ legs so Morrus swings his leg out wide, but Iaukea runs around instead and runs into Morrus’ leg. Thankfully Iaukea rolls him up a second later for the pin. This seems to be an injury angle for Morrus.

Here’s JJ to talk about the main event but more importantly that we need #1 contenders to the tag titles after the PPV. He thinks it’s the Steiners, who are barely on Nitro anymore. This draws out Sherri and Harlem Heat who disagree with this ruling. JJ says if the Steiners win tonight, they get the next shot after Flair and Piper. Sherri says that’ll get a reaction.

We recap Page vs. Savage with the focus on Page. He talks about losing his first 79 matches and working his way up to become what he is now. He kept getting better and developed the Diamond Cutter, which he used to beat Savage in their first match. I want to see these guys fight again which is a good sign.

Masahiro Chono/Great Muta vs. Steiner Brothers

Five or six years earlier, this is a candidate for match of the year before the bell even rings. Scott and Muta start with Muta firing off a very quick kick to send Scott ducking back into the corner. Scott armdrags him down and it’s a stalemate. A suplex sends Muta flying so Muta goes to the strikes. Muta takes him down and we’re told that Flair has arrived. Scott butterfly powerbombs and gorilla press slams Muta down, sending him out to the floor.

Rick comes in and Muta bails right back to the floor to hide. Rick stomps on an NWO shirt and it’s off to Chono. The two of them have a test of strength but Rick suplexes him down instead of seeing who wins. A Steiner Line sends Chono to the outside and Muta wants nothing to do with Rick either. Back in and Chono gets powerslammed down as Scott takes out Muta. All Steiners so far.

Chono gets back in against Scott and the Japanese guys finally get in some shots to the back to take over. Scott gets the tag to Rick and the NWO guys are taken down almost immediately. The Steiners were in trouble for about 30 seconds. Chono hits the Mafia Kick on Scott and there’s a handspring elbow to Muta. Chono accidentally Mafia Kicks Muta and the Steiners load up the double bulldog on Muta. Harlem Heat runs in and knocks out Rick with a chair, giving Muta the easy pin.

Rating: C-. This was fast paced, but it came off almost like a squash. That doesn’t exactly make the NWO guys seem to be any kind of a threat as the Steiners were in trouble for about a minute out of a nearly ten minute match. The ending was obvious given what Sherri said earlier, but it makes sense all things considered.

Post match Harlem Heat says they’re the #1 contenders now but JJ says the match is under review. What is there to review exactly? Harlem Heat interfered and the Steiners lost because of it. It’s not that complicated, but this is WCW where you need a meeting to determine what color the sky is.

It’s hour #2 and after the recap, here’s Ric Flair for a chat. Flair rants as you would expect him to and a lot of it is censored.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Mr. Wallstreet

Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get any real control. A rollup by Dean is blocked and Nick Patrick yells at Wallstreet for holding the ropes. Patrick yells about using the hair and the match slows down again. Wallstreet sends Dean to the floor as things continue to not get started. Back in and Dean grabs a hammerlock which is quickly broken. Off to a chinlock by the challenger (Wallstreet) followed by an abdominal stretch. Sweet goodness Wallstreet is dull.

Dean’s leg lariat gets two as does a suplex. The Cloverleaf is broken up by a rake to the eyes but Wallstreet misses a charge and goes flying over the top and out to the floor. Jeff Jarrett comes in out of nowhere and trips Malenko for two. Wallstreet doesn’t pay attention and gets caught in the Cloverleaf to retain the title for Dean. Patrick was between Wallstreet and the ropes so we have another wrinkle in the Patrick might be crooked story.

Rating: D. I love Malenko but my goodness Wallstreet is dull. I mean the guy does NOTHING but jobber level offense. The other problem is that since he’s taken on his current gimmick, the Wallstreet name doesn’t mean anything. This was about Jarrett though which makes the match a little more forgivable.

Jarrett wants a rematch with Malenko and says he’ll get it next week on Nitro. Dean accepts and here’s Mongo. Mongo wants to know why Jarrett came out here without him and won’t let Debra leave with Jeff. Mongo rants about Kevin Greene and the people boo Mongo out of the building. Why didn’t WCW get that no one was interested in this football stuff?

Damien/Ciclope vs. Harlem Heat

Stevie and Ciclope start things off with the big man stomping Ciclope down into the corner. A slam puts Ciclope down and it’s off to Booker for a hook kick. Damien comes in and some Hardy Boys style double teaming sends Booker to the floor. Booker knees Damien down and it’s back to Ray as the Heat weren’t in trouble long. Booker sends Damien to the floor and stomps away on him against the barricade as this breaks down. Here are the Steiners with a chair to lay out Booker, allowing Damien to hit a top rope splash for the upset pin.

Rating: D+. This match was the same thing we’ve had all night: a dull match that was waiting for the angle advancement that ended it. Damien and Ciclope wouldn’t go anywhere of course but it’s nice to see some newcomers get a win, even if it’s tainted like this. Obviously this set up Steiners vs. Heat and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was dull though.

Lee Marshall does his thing.

Barbarian vs. Chris Benoit

Apparently Benoit has to run the Dungeon gauntlet to get another match with Sullivan. Benoit takes it straight to the corner and stomps Barbarian down, which is something you almost never see. Barbarian breaks the German attempt so Benoit settles for a release northern lights suplex. Jimmy Hart distracts Benoit and Barbie gets in a shot to take over. There’s a piledriver for two on Benoit and Barbarian is frustrated already. Barbarian be clubberin in the corner followed by his always cool release belly to belly superplex. Barbarian loads up something off the top but gets shoved down. Swan Dive and Crossface end this.

Rating: C. It wasn’t as good as their match from a few months ago, but this is a pairing that still works. Barbarian is an interesting case as he has a pretty standard gimmick but the guy was continuously employed in a major company for the better part of fifteen years. For a guy like Barbarian, that’s very impressive.

Benoit says he wants Sullivan now but Hart says Benoit has to beat Meng in a death match at the Bash.

Scott Hall vs. Ric Flair

Flair goes insane to start and takes Hall down with chops and shots to the knee. Syxx tries to interfere but Flair takes both guys out with ease. Hall slugs Flair but Flair chops him into the corner with ease. Flair is sent into the corner for the Flair Flip but Flair dives off the apron onto Syxx in a kind of Thess Press. Hall gets in a shot to the back and takes over by stomping away in the corner.

Syxx comes in for a Bronco Buster which somehow the referee doesn’t notice. The fallaway slam hits for two and the fans want Sting. There’s an abdominal stretch and Syxx does the required arm pull for extra leverage. Hall pounds Flair down and puts on the sleeper, only to be countered into a knee crusher. Hall clotheslines Flair down to break up the Figure Four attempt and they’re both down. Flair chops away and it’s time to strut. Syxx gets knocked off the apron and then crotched. There’s a low blow to Hall and Flair is rolling. Flair loads up the Figure Four but has to fight off Syxx AGAIN. A belt shot to Flair finally gets the DQ.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, Flair is one of the guys you know is going to have at least a decent match. It’s a rare thing to see one of the higher ups in the NWO have a big time match and putting him with Flair meant this was going to be good. Also it plays into the tag title match at the PPV, making this one of the few matches tonight that actually meant something and the only one that was good on top of that.

Post match Flair gets double teamed and I guess the Horsemen are off hunting elk or something. Mongo and Jarrett FINALLY come out for the save. Mongo takes either a tag belt or the Cruiserweight belt with him as they leave for some reason.

Here’s Savage for the final segment of the show. He brings Gene out with him by force and looks extra angry/crazy here. Gene talks about DDP and how Savage is underrating him, so Savage snaps. Gene says someone has to bring Savage back to earth and Savage gets in his face, drawing out JJ. JJ threatens Savage with some undefined punishment before saying he’s lost respect for Savage.

Dillon says he expects better from Savage than from the rest of the NWO. JJ talks about how in the old days, Savage would have stood up to Page like a man. Now Savage is hiding in the crowd and isn’t being a man. Savage decks JJ and security plus Bischoff come out to pull Savage off. Bischoff talks Savage down in the corner but the fans chant DDP, which sends Savage over the edge again. Bischoff says JJ brought this on himself to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t that interesting overall. Savage vs. Page has me wanting to watch their match all over again even though I just saw it a few months ago. Flair’s stuff was good too, but other than that there’s nothing of interest here. The other matches were all setting up later stuff and most of them were either bad or too short to be anything. Great American Bash is coming off like a much better show than Slamboree so these Nitros have been a lot easier to get through, but other than the top stuff, most of the matches aren’t doing much for me yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 21, 2012
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

Night of Champions is over and not a ton has changed on Smackdown. Sheamus is still the champion after pinning Del Rio with a Brogue Kick. This is of course more exciting than the other two times he pinned Del Rio with the Brogue Kick because in this, the move wasn’t legal until seconds before the match. Hopefully someone new challenges the champ before HIAC. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a hospital that is letting its service to customers fall apart because it let a ton of its workers go to cut costs.

The main event is a tag match of course. In this case it’s Ziggler/Del Rio vs. Orton/Sheamus.

We open the show with EDGE! It’s Philly so you know the fans erupt for him. He has really short hair now which is a look that kind of works for him. Edge says coming out here like that never gets old. He’s here because Philly is the home of the Broad Street Bullies and because it’s been 18 months since his retirement. He’s been able to sit at home and watch WWE as a fan again, but he’s never seen anything as crazy as he’s seen lately.

We get a clip from Monday with Bryan and Kane arguing over the titles and then hugging it out before shouting at each other that they’re the tag team champions. He doesn’t understand how this could happen and would like an explanation, which leads to him being cut off by Bryan. Bryan corrects Edge on his use of pronouns. THEY didn’t become tag team champions. Bryan is the tag team champions.

Bryan starts yelling again but Edge says chill. He asks Bryan about the little world Bryan lives in now but Bryan says he’s a rock and at one with his emotions. Edge says excuse me when Bryan says all this, which Bryan interprets as repressed thoughts about Vickie. Bryan says Edge’s theme music (You think you know me) tells the whole story: no one really knows Edge. If Bryan really knew Edge, he would know that hasn’t been his theme music in years.

Bryan says there is nothing anyone can do to make him snap. Edge: “Well played grasshopper.” Edge says that wasn’t his intention but it sounds like a challenge. It turns into the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck routine of yes it is/no it isn’t before Edge turns the tables and Bryan goes into a rant of NO IT WASN’T which draws out Kane.

Kane and Bryan argue over the same thing they always argue about before Edge shouts them down. Kane: “Edge, calm down buddy. You know Dr. Shelby has some great relaxation exercises.” Edge snaps again because while he gets Bryan being at peace and such, he doesn’t get Kane at all. Edge gives us a quick history of himself vs. Kane, including the weddings and the torture they’ve put each other through. He leaves out the time that he caused Kane to seemingly murder his father but there’s a lot of history to get through.

Kane wants to rectify this right now and steps back as if to fight. Edge takes his jacket off but Kane opens his arms to hug it out. Edge is a combination of reluctant and shocked but he eventually hugs Kane. Bryan SNAPS, shouting NO over and over again for no apparent reason. Edge and Kane open their arms for a group hug and Bryan looks like it’s Christmas morning.

This draws out Sandow for no apparent reason. He’s here to help of course because for the last fortnight, this serial has been brought down by the attempts at hugging it out. He blames the fans for bringing down the show before Edge cuts him off. Edge talks about how he’d rather watch the champions hug it out for the whole show instead of listening to Sandow for thirty seconds. Edge says Sandow should come out and fight one of these two and after a lengthy audience poll, Kane is picked as the opponent.

Kane vs. Damien Sandow

This starts after a break and at the end of the previous nearly 20 minute segment. It was entertaining and got the job done though which is all that matters. Kane knocks Sandow to the floor with a shoulder to start and an uppercut knocks Damien to the floor. Back in and a big boot takes Sandow down again.

Damien bails to the floor but runs into Bryan. Sandow guillotines him on the ropes to take over The offense only lasts a few seconds as Sandow walks into the side slam and there’s the top rope clothesline. Bryan gets on the apron as Kane is loading up the chokeslam. The distractions lets Sandow hit his neckbreaker for the pin at 3:05.

Rating: C. As I’ve said for a few weeks, the idea of Sandow getting ring time with these bigger names is a great thing for him. While it wasn’t clean, a pin over Kane is by far the biggest win of his career so far and it’s a great sign that he was put into a segment with a hall of famer and the hottest act in the company. That’s a great sign for Sandow and the match wasn’t terrible. Another good thing here: Bryan didn’t attack Kane. It was Sandow’s finisher alone that got the pin on him.

Back from a break….and it’s more Kane. He’s freaking out looking for Bryan but finds Dr. Shelby. Shelby tries to calm him down but Kane calls Bryan a goatface. Bryan pops up for ANOTHER argument until Dr. Shelby snaps. Shelby wants to try a trust exercise. Kane promises to not rip Bryan’s beard off in exchange for his title back. That’s not enough though as Bryan cost Kane a match. Shelby offers to talk to Booker and get Bryan a match tonight. That makes Kane feel better and he says he’s the tag team champions before leaving.

I’d like to note we’re about 35 minutes into this show and we’ve seen NOTHING but Bryan and Kane stuff. They’re going to run this into the ground and they’re going to do it soon.

Tonight the Brogue Kick controversy continues. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO CONTINUE? It’s over.

Booker comes into his office to find Del Rio. Alberto calls Booker a coward and wants to know why the Brogue Kick was reinstated. Booker says his investigation was over. The kick is dangerous but it’s legal. If Alberto doesn’t want to get hurt, don’t mess with Sheamus. PREACH IT BOOKER MAN! Alberto asks for another title shot but Booker says Alberto has to earn it. He can do that in the tag match apparently.

Eve comes out for commentary.

Layla vs. Natalya

Layla easily takes Natalya down to start but she keeps pointing at and glaring at Layla. Natalya gets in a shot to the ribs and puts on an abdominal stretch which Layla rolls out of. Sharpshooter is countered and the Layout gets the pin on Nattie at 1:30.

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

Pretty early for the main event. This is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we missed much. Sheamus and Del Rio start things off and Alberto pounds Sheamus down into the corner. Sheamus shrugs him off and brings in Orton for a dropkick for two. Back to the champ to pound on Del Rio some more, only to be sent into the corner and get caught by a running kick to the shoulder.

Cole talks about JBL climbing a mountain because Sheamus vs. Del Rio isn’t capable of holding his interest. A shoulder block takes Del Rio down but the managers get on the apron, letting Ziggler get in a shot to take over. Off to a chinlock from Dolph before it’s back to Del Rio. This is dull stuff so far. Del Rio hooks a chinlock of his own but Sheamus gets up with ease.

A powerslam puts Del Rio down and it’s off to Orton who cleans house. Both heels get powerslams but Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two. It’s Ziggler vs. Orton now with Ziggler hitting a dropkick for two. It’s back to Del Rio but Orton dropkicks him to the floor almost immediately. Hot tag brings in Sheamus who cleans house again but Dolph avoids the Brogue Kick. Irish Curse gets two on Ziggler and there’s an RKO to Alberto. Brogue Kick takes out Ziggler for the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C. Standard main event tag here but the most important thing is that Del Rio didn’t get to prove anything. Hopefully that means a new opponent will show up for HIAC which would be great news. Ziggler losing again is annoying but that’s what you have to expect in WWE. The match started slow but it picked up by the end.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking over, only to yell at the crowd and let Cody get in some offense. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and clotheslines Cody down followed by a dropkick in the corner. He loads up the NO Lock but here’s Kane. The hold never goes on and Cody uses the distraction to hit Cross Rhodes for the pin at 2:10.

Back from a break and Kane and Bryan are fighting some more. Well it had been a full ten minutes so it’s to be expected. Bryan wants to know why Kane did that but Kane has no idea what Bryan is talking about. Kane says they’re even so Bryan says Kane belongs in a basement. Kane says Bryan belongs in a petting zoo. They yell some more until they see Sandow and Rhodes standing off to the side. A tag match is made for later tonight. The champs argue over who the other guys are more scared of.

We recap the end of the PPV and Raw.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus does his full intro again. It’s a dance off to start as you would expect. Brodus takes over with his usual power stuff and there’s the release suplex. And here are Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre to jump Brodus for the DQ at 1:10. So is Brodus feuding with these two now instead of Cesaro which was teased on Monday? Or is it the rest of the world vs. Planet Funk?

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Well of course Brodus can’t fight Cesaro. It’s time for Santino to fight him for the 95^th time this month. Cesaro immediately takes him down and hits the gutwrench suplex. Off to the cravate but Santino comes back with his usual. There’s the Cobra but Aksana distracts him again. Aksana tries to get the sock but falls into the ring. Cesaro hits the European Uppercut and in the distraction, Santino rolls him up for the pin at 1:50. Well of course since there is NO ONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY that can fight Cesaro.

Cesaro dumps Aksana post match in five languages.

Kane/Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow/Cody Rhodes

This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason with the Usos, Kidd/Gabriel and the Prime Time Players at ringside. The non-champions don’t even get an entrance. Kane and Cody start things off with Rhodes being pounded down very quickly. Cody brings in Sandow but Kane has to pull him into the ring. There’s the low dropkick but Bryan tags himself in before Kane can cover. Guess what that leads to.

Cody got tagged in during the argument and Bryan fires off kicks at the chest. Bryan goes to tag Kane but shouts NO instead. The Disaster Kick gets two on Bryan and Sandow jumps Kane on the floor. Cody and Bryan collide in the ring and it’s off to Kane a few seconds later. Sandow avoids a chokeslam once but the second attempt works, but here’s Cody with a chair for the DQ at 4:09.

Rating: C. Another match that didn’t have time to go anywhere but wasn’t horrible. I guess we have a fifth team now which is ok, and it’s good that this wasn’t long and didn’t have a definitive ending. It’s good to see these guys having something to do, which has been the problem for guys like Cody for awhile. When all else fails, throw them into a tag team. It can work a lot of the time.

Post match Bryan stops Cody from using the chair but can’t bring himself to hit Cody with said chair. Instead he hands it to Kane who blasts Cody out of the ring. Bryan gets his own chair and they take turns destroying Sandow with it. They probably hit him twenty times between the pair of them. Kane puts his chair down and beats up the other three teams, feeding them into Bryan for chair shots. Bryan and Kane stand in the ring with their titles and chairs as bodies surround them. They argue one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well…..that was certainly different. Throughout the show I was thinking that this was a bad idea as it was all about Bryan and Kane. Then it occurred to me that the biggest complaint I’ve had for months about Smackdown is that it’s the same stuff week after week. On this show, Sheamus and Del Rio were an afterthought and that was a nice change of pace. I’m worried about them running this angle into the ground, but man the ending here was fun. Now that they’ve got a hot act, they need to use that to build up the division as a whole. Fun and different shot tonight, which might be what they needed.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Kane – Double Arm Neckbreaker

Layla b. Natalya – Layout

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes

Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater via DQ when Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre interfered

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Rollup

Kane/Daniel Bryan b. Damien Sandow/Cody Rhodes via DQ when Rhodes used a chair

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #89
Date: May 26, 1997
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,484
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyzsko

We’re back to the regular two hours again and that might be something good in this case. Also Hogan is here tonight which always helps make the shows feel bigger than they do without him. We’re coming up on the Great American Bash in three weeks and odds are we’ll get the main event announced tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to open the show. Hogan’s beard appears to be infecting his head and is growing at an alarming rate. This is the one year anniversary of Hall jumping the guard rail. Bischoff says he’s checked under the ring and there’s not Sting this week. Hogan talks about partying in the Bahamas with Nick and Brooke, which are names that don’t mean anything at this point. Hogan runs down Sting and Eric says that Sting is just afraid of Hulk. Hogan says he’s going to be looking around and if he finds anyone in Sting makeup, he’s going to take them out.

Hector Garza/Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo vs. Ciclope/Damien/La Parka

This is under Mexican rules, which means if you go to the floor, another member of your team can come in just like a tag. La Parka and Juvy get us going with Juvy taking over with a quick spin kick to the face. Juvy goes up but his cross body is caught and La Parka struts over to the corner and sets Juvy up top. Juvy comes back with a big top rope rana to send Parka to the floor.

Off to Ciclope as Larry complains about the Mexican rules because “we’re not in Mexico.” Sometimes common sense is the best approach. Calo comes in to replace Parka and hits a headscissors to send Parka to the floor. Calo hits a HUGE suicide dive to send both guys into the crowd, giving us Damien vs. Garza. Garza is basically here for one move: a corkscrew plancha to the floor. The idea is that he’s going to hit it but you don’t know when or how many people he’ll take out.

Everything breaks down and it’s almost impossible to tell who is legal as four people came in at the same time when Garza and Damien went to the floor. It appears to be Calo vs. Damien now with Calo in control, only to take his eyes off Damien and get jumped. Off to Garza who speeds things up but gets sent to the floor.

Everyone goes to the floor and it’s time to fire off the dives. Garza hits his big corkscrew plancha, prompting Larry to ask if Garza thinks he’s Captain Planet. Turner property or not, that’s the best Larry can come up with? Damien tries a seated senton back inside but Garza catches him in a powerbomb and hits a standing moonsault for the pin.

Rating: B. This is pretty much the textbook definition for a lucha libre spotfest and there’s nothing wrong with that. Other than Juvy, none of these guys have stood out but they know how to fire off all kinds of flips and dives. While not a great match from a technical standpoint or anything like that, it was fun and the dives were great. That’s what you want to do with an opener too. Good stuff here.

Alex Wright vs. Psychosis

This is Wright’s first match after his heel turn last week. Wright flips around to escape a wristlock but Psychosis does the exact same thing. A jumping kick to the face gives Wright control again and he pounds away in the corner. Psychosis comes back with a moonsault press for two followed by a top rope spin kick to the back of Wright’s head for one. Wright bails to the floor and dances a bit, only for Psychosis to bust out a mostly missed moonsault to take both guys out. Back in and the guillotine legdrop pins Wright.

Rating: D+. This was pretty messy. Also why in the world would you have Wright lose completely clean after a heel turn last week? The announcers are pushing this as a huge upset and to be fair it probably is. The match had almost no flow or story to it at all and the big spots didn’t hit. Not terrible but really messy.

Sonny Onoo still has a surprise for Chono tonight but won’t say who it is. Sonny tries to sign Psychosis as he leaves and Psychosis is interested. As Sonny gloats, Madusa comes out and wants a Women’s Title shot. She says she’ll do anything for it and immediately regrets saying it. Sonny says she’ll get the shot at the Bash but if she loses, her career is over. She agrees and that’s it.

We get a quick look at Ernest Miller and his martial arts background.

Wrath vs. Mark Starr

Total squash with Wrath throwing Starr all over the place, including out to the floor so Mortis can get in some shots. Wrath does look awesome and has a great name, but this feud went on so long that it killed whatever he had going. A top rope clothesline kills Starr and a bicycle kick sets up the double arm Rock Bottom to end the massacre. Apparently that move is called the Death Penalty.

Konnan vs. Villano IV

They’re going really light on the promos tonight. Hugh Morrus talks about how he doesn’t like Konnan anymore, which I think happened at Slamboree. Konnan and Villano shake hands before Konnan hits him in the ribs to start. Konnan pounds him into the corner and fires off a dropkick. He shouts VIVA MEXICO which apparently fires up Villano.

After a brief comeback, Villano shouts VIVA MEXICO as well. Not that it really matters as Konnan hits an Alabama Slam out of the corner to stop the momentum dead. Here’s Morrus but security stops him in the aisle. The 187 (fisherman’s DDT) kills Villano dead and Tequila Sunrise (half crab with armbar) gets the win for Konnan.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here as Konnan was a guy who had a decent place in the midcard. The next step for him of course: put him in the NWO where he got lost in the shuffle. He was a Mexican wrestler who could actually wrestle a style different from the dozen or so other luchadores they had which gave him something to offer. Then it went nowhere because the NWO didn’t have enough lackeys.

Konnan runs down the Dungeon and Sullivan post match.

Masahiro Chono vs. ???

Sonny comes out to introduce the surprise: The Great Muta. Chono is NWO. We get a LONG stall at the beginning of the match, during which Larry announces that the Japanese are in fact a different race. No contact in the first minute. Or in the second minute. Muta puts on a VERY weak headlock. So weak that Chono just ducks out of it and Muta doesn’t move his arms. Sonny freaks out on Muta, Muta sprays mist in his eyes, and Muta joins the NWO. Well no one had joined in a few months so I guess we needed someone else to inflate the ranks.

Hour #2 starts.

Savage talks about his feud with Page. Apparently he wants a rematch at the Bash, which may or may not already be set. The idea is that Savage was embarrassed by a guy in his first main event match at Spring Stampede and it’s driving him crazier than he already is.

Here are Page and Kimberly with a rebuttal. The match is already signed apparently. Page has the crutch that was broken over his back by Hogan. He talks about how he’s under Savage’s skin and how he owes Hogan a Diamond Cutter. Page owes Savage even more though and he’ll get that at the Bash. Kimberly says she’s keeping the pieces of the crutch as a memento. She also has some of the hair that Savage pulled out of her head. Page says you don’t mess with family or his wife, and Savage messed with both. See, this is how you build up a match. I want to see these two fight now.

Barbarian vs. Jim Powers

Powers fires off some basic offense to start but can’t take Barbarian down. A clothesline takes Powers’ head off and Barbarian sends him out to the floor for some more beating. Back in and they chop it out with Barbie taking over. Powers gets in some boots but he doesn’t jump far enough coming off the middle rope so Barbarian can catch him in a powerslam. A big boot ends Powers.

Rating: D. Powers is FINALLY done after this, not appearing on Nitro for over a year after this. Why we needed to have Barbarian get a squash win on Nitro is kind of head scratching but it was something different than they’ve had in the rest of the show. Meng has been doing some singles stuff around this time so maybe that’s why.

Benoit comes out post match and wants Sullivan back soon. Hart says Barbarian is ready for Benoit right now so Benoit takes his jacket off and gets in the ring. Hart says next week.

The Giant vs. Jerry Flynn/Johnny Swinger/Rick Fuller

The jobbers have to tag here so what are you expecting to happen? Swinger starts and can’t do anything. Flynn can’t do anything so it’s off to Fuller who is by far the biggest guy on the team. After Fuller gets beaten up, all three come in with Flynn and Fuller getting belly to back suplexed at the same time. There’s a chokeslam to Swinger, there’s one for Fuller, and there’s one for Flynn. Giant pins all Swinger and Flynn at the same time.

Luger and Giant are in the ring and we hear about an open contract issued by Hogan and Rodman for the PPV Luger talks about being an NBA fan and watching Rodman. At Uncensored, Rodman came into the WCW world and Luger would like to invite them back. Luger issues the challenge for the PPV and Giant says they’re ready. I’m missing something because that match wound up happening at Bash at the Beach. Maybe that’s what they meant or maybe it was changed.

Lee Marshall does his road report jazz.

Here’s Syxx to talk about Flair. He shows us a video from last week of him and the Outsiders beating up Flair before bringing the Outsiders out. Hall and Nash have the newer design of the tag titles which I’ve always liked better. They make fun of Piper and say Piper couldn’t make Hogan sleep unless they showed him Piper’s latest movie. To the shock of everyone, Hall and Nash offer to defend the titles. The opponents aren’t the shock. It’s that they’re actually defending the belts. They want Piper and Flair so they can retire them once and for all.

Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Before the match we get a quick recap of Kevin Greene running in last week. Booker and Jeff start things off but it’s off to Mongo before anything happens. Mongo runs him over but Booker won’t tag out. Booker escapes a belly to back suplex but gets punched in the face and clotheslined down. Off to Jarrett as Greene is on commentary now. Stevie comes in and pounds on Jarrett in the corner before slamming him down. We cut to the commentators so we can see that Greene is in fact wearing a football jacket.

Off to Booker vs. Mongo again with the Horsemen taking over. Booker misses a charge into the corner but Stevie blasts Mongo in the back of the head to put him down. Stevie uses the power stuff to take over on McMichael before it’s back to Booker for a chinlock. Harlem Heat double teams to draw in Jarrett which allows for even more double teaming.

Stevie puts on another chinlock so we cut to the announcers again. Mongo comes out of nowhere with a powerslam to Booker and it’s hot (?) tag to Jarrett. Jeff fires off dropkicks to take over and everything breaks down. Mongo realizes Greene is with the announcers and walks off for a brawl. Jeff puts Booker in the Figure Four but Stevie breaks it up and a Hart Attack with Booker hitting a side kick instead of a clothesline gets the pin for the Heat.

Rating: D+. This was long and not interesting. The problem is there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting and the main story of the match was about the football players fighting, which I don’t think anyone was interested in seeing. Just like last week: these matches have almost no meaning because the Outsiders never defend the belts, so these guys are all fighting for nothing.

Jarrett says that might be the last straw.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to end the show. Hogan says the title is on the line right now if Sting wants to face him for it. Bischoff says unfortunately Sting isn’t here tonight. They turn their backs to the camera and Sting pops up through the mat. And of course it’s the fake one and the announcers are fooled.

The NWO Sting stays on his knees in front of Hogan and nods when asked if he’s half the man Hogan is. He bows down to Hogan and the real Sting repels into the ring. There’s a Death Drop for Bischoff and Hogan falls over the bowing fake Sting. The real one beats up the fake one and here come the troops. Sting flies into the rafters again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This started off hot but slowed way down afterwards. Having Hogan around helped a lot and you can see that they’re building to Sting vs. Hogan eventually. I don’t think anyone expected it to take another seven months, but it was worth it in theory. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t bad but as always, the show is better when the bigger names are in play.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #88
Date: May 19, 1997
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re FINALLY past Slamboree and we have four weeks before the Great American Bash where the world title still won’t be on the line. At least that show will have a big time grudge match in the main event but we’ll get to that later on. Anyway tonight is likely going to establish the PPV main event and deal with the fallout from last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of the show last night with the old guys winning and Tony declaring it the BIGGEST MOMENT EVER in WCW.

Here’s Flair to open the show. Flair says that last night he erased everything the NWO has done with the help of Piper and Greene. This draws out Syxx who says that the wrong guy got pinned last night and that he doesn’t like the idea of Flair saying he can beat Syxx. Syxx says he can beat Flair and challenges Flair to a match tonight. Flair says he doesn’t know if he can beat Hall and Nash but he knows he can beat Syxx so it’s on.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal

Regal pounds the punk kid down to start and hammers him in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Iaukea and the fans are on fire tonight. Iaukea crucifixes him down for another two but Regal counters a headscissors by slamming him down face first onto the mat. Regal kicks him in the head and suplexes him before the Regal Stretch ends this. Seeing Prince Iaukea get beaten up makes me smile.

We get some clips from last night with Mortis and Wrath beating up Glacier until Ernest Miller debuted made the save.

Masahiro Chono vs. Dave Taylor

Chono is NWO. Tenay talks about a major name debuting on June 30 on Nitro. I won’t say who but if what I can find is correct, two major names would debut that night. Taylor controls early with some European uppercuts but walks into an atomic drop. Chono knocks him to the floor but back in the ring a piledriver is broken up by Taylor. Not that it matters as Taylor charges into a boot and the STF ends this quick. The STF is Chono’s signature hold if you’re not familiar with him.

Sonny Onoo says Chono has a debt to pay with New Japan and Onoo has someone coming in next week but won’t say who.

JJ Dillon reinstates Nick Patrick.

Scotty Riggs vs. Michael Wallstreet

Wallstreet isn’t allowed to be in the NWO but he’s anti-WCW. Riggs speeds things up to start and hits his decent dropkick, only to have Wallstreet take him down soon thereafter. Wallstreet hooks a chinlock as the fans look at something in the crowd. A small package gets two for Riggs and Wallstreet tries to pull something out of his pocket. Nick Patrick stops him and Riggs gets a sunset flip for the pin. Another short match, but did we REALLY need to see Scotty Riggs vs. Michael Wallstreet when we had an hour for the show? I get that it’s for Nick Patrick, but do we need to focus on him either? Really?

Speaking of wasting time, here’s NASCAR driver Mark Martin to talk about a sweepstakes to win a racecar. The car being brought in is probably what the fans were looking at in the Riggs match. Flair comes out with Martin to try to make this look like it’s important.

Time for the road report to waste some more time. This includes Lee Marshall singing some Elvis.

We get a video from last night with Page holding off Savage and the NWO with a crutch.The Giant eventually made the save when Page got in trouble.

Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael vs. Steiner Brothers

Jarrett and Scott start things off with Jeff being sent into the corner quickly. Jeff comes back with a neckbreaker to take over but a suplex is no sold. Scott gorilla presses Jeff down and hits a kind of Angle Slam off the top for two. Off to Rick vs. Mongo and it’s a slugfest of course. Mongo takes out Rick’s knee but gets caught by a suplex and what was supposed to be the middle rope bulldog but wound up being like a cravate-dog if that makes sense. Everything breaks down and Kevin Greene runs in with a briefcase shot to Mongo’s back, giving Rick the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Apparently they thought last night’s match with White vs. Mongo was so great that we MUST do another battle of the football players. I mean, having Mongo as a ring general is a can’t miss idea right? The match was barely long enough to rate but it’s the longest match of the night so far. The problem with these tag matches is there’s nothing to fight for because the Outsiders weren’t going to defend the titles, so why bother having the other teams fight?

We get a video from during the break where Mongo and Greene got in a fight backstage.

Ric Flair vs. Syxx

Syxx jumps Flair as he comes in but a charge into the corner misses. Flair fires away with punches and chops and here are the Outsiders for the DQ. The match wasn’t even a minute long.

Flair gets destroyed because the Horsemen were escorted from the building due to the Mongo vs. Greene fight. Nash says it’s about putting the old guys out of business. Syxx has flowers for some reason.

Here’s Bischoff for the closing segment. He says that last week he wanted to talk to Sting but he was nowhere to be found. The NWO called him and looked for him and even sent a private detective agency after him. Sting isn’t in the rafters or the locker room tonight because he’s a coward. Sting will never get a match with Hogan because it would mean bad things for the Scorpion enthusiast. Bischoff says if Sting were here, he’d slap the paint off his face. Sting pops up through the ring and lays out Bischoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This definitely wasn’t a good show but it was miles better than the previous week’s. I know they only have an hour at this point, but does WCW know that? At times I’m really not sure given some of the stuff they put out there. This show felt like it had some energy to it this week which has been lacking for awhile. Maybe it’s because they’re coming off a PPV or maybe it’s because the build to Slamboree was incredibly long, but this felt much fresher and it made the show go by a lot faster. They’re back to the full two hours next week.

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