Superstars – August 23, 2012: This Is Superstars In A Nutshell
Superstars
Date: August 23, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California/Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Scott Stanford, Matt Striker
This is another request and in something rather different, this is from less than a month ago. People ask me to do Superstars more often but you can only do so much of the same WWE stuff over and over again. Anyway this is seemingly a random episode of the show so maybe we’ll get some good action out of it which tends to be the case from this show. Let’s get to it.
For the sake of context, this is four days after Summerslam.
Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Sandow does his usual schtick about before the match. Yoshi’s music is so catchy it’s unreal. Sandow takes over to start and drops a knee for two. Off to a chinlock but Yoshi quickly breaks it up and comes back with a chop. Sandow ties Yoshi up in the ring skirt and pounds away as Tatsu can’t get anything going here. The best he can get are a few rollups for two and some LOUD chops. A big kick puts Sandow down but the top rope spinwheel kick misses. The Russian legsweep sets up the windup elbow and the double arm neckbreaker for the pin.
Rating: C-. Extended squash here but that’s what something like Superstars is good for. They don’t need to run through a match in two minutes or so and it gives them some more ring time. The problem with that is almost no one gets extended ring time so when they’re asked to do it, they don’t know what they’re doing and the matches usually don’t work.
We get a LONG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH from Summerslam as well as the fallout on Raw.
Drew McIntyre vs. Alex Riley
Drew has a bad hand here and milks it a bit before Riley grabs the wrist. A dropkick puts Drew on the floor but Riley misses a dive. Off to an armbar from McIntyre followed by some stomps to the leg. This is going really slowly. Drew tries the FutureShock but Riley sends him into the corner. Drew heads up but gets rolled up off the top for the pin for Riley out of nowhere.
Rating: D. Drew’s offense is really dull as he just stomped a bit after getting control due to Riley missing a dive. Riley is one of those guys that can’t get on TV for some reason and while I’ve heard various reasons, most of them seem stupid when you have a guy that could do some good for a company with basically no midcard to speak of at times.
Video on the Asian tour.
Video from the end of Raw with Cena confronting Punk before Punk beat up Lawler.
Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes
This is a rematch from a few weeks ago where Cody won. There’s actually a story here: Justin showed up with a chick and Cody hit on her, setting up the first match. See how easy that is? Both guys feel each other out to start and it turns into a contest of showing each other up. Gabriel gets a rollup for two which Cody takes offense to. They trade some HARD slaps and Gabriel takes Cody down and into a freaky arm trap hold.
Cody gets sent to the floor but he moves before Justin can dive. Unfortunately he moves into position for another dive from Gabriel as we take a break. Back with Gabriel hitting what looked like a dropkick for two. Gabriel goes to the apron but gets his arm snapped across the top rope to give Cody control. He bends Gabriel’s arm over the apron before hitting a gordbuster for two. Cody cranks on the arm a bit more and gets two off an uppercut.
Back to more work on the arm, this time in the form of a hammerlock. Justin starts a quick comeback but misses a top rope Lionsault to give Cody control again. Off to a short arm scissors but Gabriel gets off his back to break the hold. A monkey flip puts Cody down as does a spinning kick to the face. Justin hits a kind of sitout powerbomb for two but a slam is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody out of nowhere. Nice counter.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with a sweet counter to end things. Gabriel is good in this kind of a role: the guy who isn’t going to win a major match anytime soon but he’s got enough speed and ability to keep things interesting. For a main event on Superstars, this was fine.
Overall Rating: C+. This is Superstars in a nutshell: you get some decent wrestling from guys you don’t usually see on WWE TV, but for the most part there’s a reason these guys aren’t on the big shows. They’re not bad at all but they don’t have anything that sets them apart from everyone else. Still though, you won’t regret watching it and if you’ve got roughly 45 minutes to kill and want to watch wrestling, there are far worse things you could pick.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Monday Night Raw – December 24, 2001: The Wrestling Equivalent Of Coal In Your Stocking
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2001
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s Christmas Eve so of course we’re not live. We have a few weeks before HHH gets back so until thing we’re kind of in a holding pattern. Jericho is champion but given that they don’t even have an Undisputed Title belt for him, how serious can we take his reign so far? The show is in a bad stretch and it’s really only going to get worse in the next few years. Let’s get to it.
In case you didn’t see the link at the end of the last review, here’s the December 17, 2001 show which I had done already:
We’ve got an eggnog match later so you can tell things aren’t that serious.
Then again we have Jericho vs. Rock for the title later so maybe things won’t be that bad.
Here’s the hometown hero in his old Miami jersey to open the show. It’s Rock if that wasn’t clear. Rock says he’s come back home and talks about the main event tonight against Jericho. Oh and the Hurricanes will win the Rose Bowl. I believe they did that actually. He asks for his book and is handed The Rock’s Night Before Christmas. The book is exactly what you would expect with the focus being on Rock vs. Jericho.
Before he can finish though, here’s Angle, thankfully with the classic version of his music instead of that bad remix. Angle accuses Santa of being a pervert for seeing you when you’re sleeping. He thinks Vince is better than Mr. Claus because Vince has made the main event tonight a triple threat match. Rock doesn’t really care. Somehow this segment took almost 12 minutes.
Vince is having a Christmas party with Patterson and Brisco as elves. Bubba is Santa which means Stacy as a sexy Mrs. Claus. Booker and the Big Bossman show up so it’s time to bust out the strippers. Booker officially has a contract now. Vince’s music is playing as this goes on.
Rikishi vs. Test
Rikishi pounds him down into the corner but Test avoids a charge and beats on Rikishi. A DDT puts Rikishi down for two and Test shoves the referee. The referee punches Test and it’s a DQ win for Rikishi. This was nothing.
Test pounds on the referee but Rikishi makes the save.
Trish, looking GREAT, shows up at Flair’s Christmas party. Torrie is Mrs. Claus and I think Tajiri is Santa. Big Show struts like Flair and Tajiri gives Torrie some very small lingerie. Albert and Edge try to make Kane laugh and Big Show does his Hogan impression which is still pretty good. Debra brings in cookies and says Austin is on the way. Well it’s not like anyone was watching this episode anyway.
Billy and Chuck give each other matching headbands. Taz talks to Bubba because Bubba has a good looking girl on his lap and that’s not Santa-like. Bubba: “You’re just mad because all my elves are taller than you.” That was a good line. Fink shows up and brings in Mae and Moolah as the new dancers.
Billy and Chuck vs. APA
Billy and Chuck aren’t quite gay yet but they’re inching towards it. The APA looks at each other and pound on Billy and Chuck from behind. Billy and Chuck double team Farrooq before Chuck gets some alone time with him. Chuck gets laid…..out by a DDT and it’s off to Bradshaw and Billy. It’s finishers a go-go and Chuck trips Bradshaw so Billy gets to be on top for the quick pin. That’s good as I was running out of sex jokes.
RVD is ticked off and looking for someone. After a break he goes into Jericho’s room but finds Lance Storm. I guess he got a job on Smackdown. They get in an argument and a match is made.
Show and Albert are in Kane masks talking to the Big Red Machine when Arn Anderson shows up with beer. Austin shows up too with even more beer. We get a live WHAT rendition as Austin reads off a Christmas list while sitting on Tajiri’s lap.
Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm
It’s the Barely Legal rematch that no one was asking for. They brawl to start with both guys flying around and hitting kicks to the face for two. Not that it matters as we’re in a chinlock 45 seconds in. Van Dam kicks him down and hits the cartwheel moonsault for two. A superkick gets two for Storm but Van Dam backflips out of a belly to back superplex. Another kick sets up the Five Star for the pin. Another short match.
Test hits on Terri at Vince’s party. That goes nowhere so Paisley interviews Maven about Tough Enough 2. This goes nowhere until Booker yells at Maven, setting up a match later. Is it clear that it’s Christmas Eve and they’re not even trying? Mae is drunk.
Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson
It’s an eggnog match between the Mrs. Clauses. What are you expecting here? They fight by the pool of eggnog, they go in it, they do some “wrestling” and the referee falls in as well. Torrie wins in like two minutes.
Back to Vince’s party and Jericho shows up to complain about being put in a triple threat. Vince tries to soothe him but Stephanie returns, a mere FIVE WEEKS after being thrown out. She has a gift for Vince, which is a monogrammed money clip. Vince doesn’t seem to care and throws her out. She would be back full time in about three weeks.
European Title: Christian vs. The Hurricane
Christian is defending and takes a shot at the Miami Hurricanes which is appropriate in more ways than one. Christian charges at him to start and is immediately clotheslined to the floor. Hurricane hits a big dive to the floor as JR suggests Pat Patterson is a fairy and not an elf. Back in and Christian kicks Hurricane low to take over.
The fans chant the Hurricanes’ (the football team, not the masked dude) fight song as Christian knees Hurricane in the ribs for two. Hurricane hits a quick crossbody but can’t get much more after that. Molly offers a distraction and Hurricane comes back, hitting a Blockbuster for two. Christian throws him to the floor but ducks an attack from Hurricane which takes out Molly. Christian throws him back inside and hits the Unprettier to retain.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but when this is the first match that broke three minutes after over an hour of the show, it’s kind of hard to get into it. Also the ending here was really abrupt with Christian just hitting his finisher out of nowhere for the pin. The title meant nothing at this point and was ready to be retired, which wouldn’t come for almost a year.
Taz switches parties and causes a match to be made between Bubba and Tajiri for later. Austin plays the guitar for some entertainment.
Booker T vs. Maven
Booker has Bossman as a bodyguard in an angle I don’t remember at all. Maven is brand new here still so this isn’t going to be much in the ways of competition. Maven fires off some forearms to start followed by a few dropkicks, which was really the only move he could do well. Booker shrugs that off and kicks Maven down to take over. A superkick puts Maven down and there’s the Spinarooni. An Alabama Slam gets the pin for Booker. Total squash after the first 20 seconds.
Bubba Claus vs. Tajiri Claus
Oh….why not. Tajiri knocks him to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault. The visuals here are pretty funny and JR says this would be a main event at any arena in the North Pole. I can live with nods to Monsoon. Back in the ring the Bubba Bomb takes Tajiri down and a low blow slows him down even more. The fans of course want tables but they have to settle for a splash/elbow drop from Bubba instead.
Tajiri has lost his hat and Bubba takes his own belt off to whip Tajiri a bit. Bubba misses the middle rope splash as is his custom, which likely had to do with him doing the stereotypical Japanese bow before jumping. The look on Bubba’s face is pretty great. A low dropkick gets two and Tajiri fires off some kicks to take over. He goes up but D-Von crotches him, letting Bubba hit a superplex for no cover. The Dudleys set up What’s Up but Taz runs out and crotches D-Von. The distraction lets Tajiri hit the Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.
Rating: C. If you were looking for a serious match here, what is wrong with you? This was a fun match and I’m a Tajiri fan so I was digging this no matter what happened in it. On top of that, Bubba’s facials are are always great. Fun match here which is something this dull show needed badly.
Angle says he’ll strip Jericho of the title tonight. Mae Young: “DID SOMEONE SAYS STRIP???” You can figure the rest out for yourself.
We recap the Undertaker vs. the Hardys feud as the team is back together again after fighting for weeks.
Apparently Mae Young has stopped Vince’s party cold and she takes her pants off on stage. Austin comes in and beats up Vince and the Stooges. Patterson winds up looking up between Mae’s legs.
WWF World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock
It’s a brawl to start with the heels double teaming Rock in the corner. Rock gets in a shot on Angle and avoids a save from Jericho. Angle suplexes Rock down and we head to the floor where the heels take turns ramming Rock into the table. Rock will have none of that and rams them into the table, only to get dropped onto the table chest first. A charging Angle is sent into the steps and Jericho is clotheslined down as Rock takes over again.
Back inside a spinwheel kick gets two for the champ but the Lionsault hits knees. Angle comes back in and pounds away on Rock, who backdrops Jericho to the floor. A Samoan Drop puts Angle down for two but Jericho makes the save. Rock hits a double clothesline to put both guys down but he can’t follow up. The Great One gets up first and punches both guys time after time to fire up the crowd.
Angle finally gets in a shot to the back but Rock whips Kurt into Jericho on the apron. Rock drops a leg on Angle and puts on the Scorpion. Jericho tries to make a save but walks into the spinebuster and the Elbow for two. Angle puts the ankle lock on Rock but Jericho dropkicks Kurt to break it up, starting a fight between the two. The American hits a German on the Canadian but Jericho rolls through into the Walls.
Angle escapes and puts on the ankle lock, only to have Rock take his head off. Jericho’s forearm hits the referee and Rock puts the champ in the Walls, making him tap to no referee. The hold is released and Angle clocks Jericho with a chair by mistake. Rock Bottom takes Angle down but there’s STILL no referee. Angle DDT’s Rock on the chair but Jericho steals the pin to retain.
Rating: B-. This was a good match but the problem with it is that there was no way the title was changing tonight. This would have torn the roof off the place at a house show and the live crowd was probably getting into things, but at the end of the day there was no chance Rock was winning the title here and I think most of the people knew it.
Overall Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a main event which is just above average at best. Other than that, this is a throwaway show if there ever has been one. Then again, it’s Christmas Eve so it’s not like anyone was watching. I don’t think I watched this one live which says a lot for me. Nothing to see here and next week is a Best of 2001 show which won’t offer much, meaning this is pretty much the end of the year.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Cena Injured, Doesn’t Seem To Matter
Cena had elbow surgery today but it doesn’t seem to make a difference as he’ll only be out 2-3 weeks and the PPV is in about 6 weeks. See what happens when you give yourselves some space between PPVs? Good things can happen.
Monday Night Raw: December 10, 2001 – Regretting This Immediately……Save Us HHH
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past Vengeance now and we have an Undisputed Champion in the form of Chris Jericho. He did the only thing he ever talked about for the next year and a half last night by beating Rock and Austin in the same night. Other than that nothing else happened because no one cared about anything else on the show. Tonight we being a series of about three throwaway shows on the way to the Rumble. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Flair to open the show with both world titles. He talks about how he’s going to present the new champion with his title tonight (not really but whatever) and brings out Jericho. The new champion has a list of names of people to thank with the most important of all being himself. He brags about proving everyone wrong and thanks Rock and Austin for their performances last night.
Jericho begins his tradition of talking bragging about how he beat Rock and Austin in the same night. He also thanks all of the little people who supported him before moving on to Flair. Jericho tells Flair that Flair has the honor of being presenting him with the titles, making him the first and only Undisputed Champion. Flair puts both belts on Jericho’s shoulders and says that tonight, Jericho is defending the title tonight in a cage. His opponent: Steve Austin.
Hardcore Title: Spike Dudley vs. Undertaker
Taker won the title last night and Spike sits on his bike on the way to the ring. Pain ensues. Taker puts him in the Tree of Woe but Spike gets in a low blow and some weapon shots but they get shrugged off. A HUGE Last Ride onto a trashcan ends this quick. Taker is still insanely over because he’s still the same character he was before his heel turn.
Taker kills him again with a chokeslam because once wasn’t enough.
Vince comes up to Flair to gloat and has Booker T with him. He also has some doberman guard dogs. It worked when he used them on Austin in 98. Vince says that tonight it’s Rock/Trish vs. the Dudleys. Flair says he’ll apologize in a bit. This was an awkward segment.
Booker and Vince go to their sky box and admire the view of the arena.
Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi
Angle has a new remix of his music and it’s not working. Angle says he’s here to avenge Vince. This is Rikishi’s first match back in like seven months but he was back on Smackdown with Rock shoving Vince’s face into Rikishi’s thong, hence the avenging line. Rikishi jumps him to start but Angle is all like oh no you did not jump me and snaps off a great looking German to take over. Angle tries a sunset flip but Rikishi drops down onto him to take over. Angle gets knocked into the corner but bails before the Stinkface. He keeps on bailing to give Rikishi a quick countout win.
Post match Rikishi dances but Angle jumps him. It goes bad for the Olympian as he gets beaten down and takes a Stinkface. From a world title match to this in 24 hours. That’s not good. Angle blasts Rikishi with a chair during Rikishi’s second dance.
They Dudleys and Stacy aren’t worried at all about their title defense later. Bubba makes fun of the challengers in a funny bit.
Lance Storm comes in to see Flair and asks for a match tonight despite not having a job. Flair says no. Ok then.
Regal jumps Edge during an interview and knocks him out with brass knuckles.
Storm still can’t get a job.
William Regal vs. Kane
Regal has to be searched before the match. He says the attack on Edge was just the beginning because he’s going to be dishing out a lot more punishment in the future but gets cut off by Kane. Kane takes over to start and pounds Regal down before beating on him in the corner. A sidewalk slam gets two and Kane goes up, only to get knocked to the floor. Regal loads up the knucks but gets kicked in the face. Back in and Kane hits the clothesline but Regal breaks up the chokeslam with a knucks shot to the ribs and head for the pin. Another short match in a series of them tonight.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. The Rock/Trish Stratus
Trish hides in the corner to start so Rock and D-Von start things off. A backdrop puts D-Von down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. D-Von gets rammed into the table as does Bubba who I guess tagged in somewhere. If he did it wasn’t shown on camera. A Samoan Drop puts Bubba down for two but it’s back to D-Von who has a bit more luck this time. Rock gets pounded in the corner but Rock clotheslines him down. The numbers finally catch up with Rock as Bubba clotheslines him down to take over.
A double flapjack puts Rock down but he comes back with a clothesline to put Bubba down. He can’t tag Trish in of course though so there’s no worry of a hot tag. Stacy pulls Trish off the apron and Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker on the Brahma Bull. There’s a sleeper but Rock eventually suplexes out of it.
The numbers catch up with Rock AGAIN (you may be noticing a pattern here) but he ducks a clothesline, causing Bubba to take D-Von down. A DDT puts Bubba down and all three guys are down. 3D doesn’t work but Bubba breaks up the Sharpshooter on D-Von. A spinebuster sets up the Elbow on Bubba but D-Von makes a last second save. Trish gets tagged in and What’s Up D-Von? Stacy gets brought in and What’s Up Stacy? Test runs out to brawl with Rock in the aisle and 3D to Trish retains the titles.
Rating: C-. You easily could have cut out three or four minutes here and had about the same match. Rock vs. Test doesn’t do anything for me but I don’t think it was ever going to go anywhere anyway. It was clear that the Dudleys were going to retain, which makes the match going long all the more pointless. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t horrible and we got some good shots of Stacy and Trish.
Test kicks Rock’s head off.
Vince and Booker patronize the crowd a bit and Vince talks about all the people he’s going to beat up/has been beaten up because of Vince. Vince insists he’s the real boss and introduces some celebrities here tonight. Never mind as he’s talking about Booker T. This went NOWHERE.
Lita tries to tell Matt she didn’t screw him on purpose last night. Make your own jokes. She says she loves him and he doesn’t seem to care. She goes to leave and Matt breaks up with her. Jeff pops up and tells her it’s ok.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy/Lita
Matt shoves Lita down so he can jump Jeff to start. There are tags for the team here so it’s one on one for the most part. Jeff pounds him down in the corner and this is turning into a brawl very quickly. Jeff charges into a boot in the corner and they head out to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Jeff down but Jeff rams Matt face first into the apron. A brawl into the crowd goes nowhere so we head back inside. Matt pounds on him a bit and counters a quick Twist attempt. Jeff gets sent to the floor so Lita hits the Litarana on Matt. The Swanton from Jeff misses though and Lita tags herself in, but gets rolled up for the pin.
Rating: D. The Hardys have some of the best tag team chemistry of all time, but sweet merciful goodness they don’t have it against each other. I think the problem is they try to have some big epic match and it just doesn’t work because they don’t come off as guys that hate each other. This went on for awhile too.
Storm asks Flair AGAIN, so Flair gives him an all or nothing match. He wins and gets a job or he loses and is gone.
Lance Storm vs. Big Show
The bell rings and the beating begins. I don’t think they’re going to break the streak of short matches tonight. Storm gets knocked to the floor but comes back in with a thumb to the eye. Show pounds him down again but Storm goes for the knee. A missile dropkick gets two for Lance but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin. That was basically a workout for Show.
Vince and Booker have sandwiches sent to them but Booker thinks it’s a trap. He makes the waitress try one and it seems fine. Booker and Vince have the sandwiches. Seriously, that’s the whole segment.
We get a HHH video set to Beautiful Day by U2.
Austin says WHAT a lot and challenges Booker to a fight. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen in the cage match later. He also talks about what he had for lunch at Sonic.
The cage is lowered.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho
In a cage of course. Jericho stalls for awhile so Austin gets out of the cage and beats on the champ on the floor. Austin tries a chair but the referee takes it away, allowing Jericho to get inside the cage to hide. Austin sneaks in behind him as the bell finally rings. There’s the Thesz Press and Jericho is in trouble early. There’s no referee in the ring so this is escape only. Either that or it’s the stupid kind where referees come into the ring to count a pin which takes way too long.
Austin whips Jericho into the corner and the Canadian tries to climb, only to get pulled down very quickly. Jericho gets sent into the cage again as this is all Austin so far. Jericho tries a Stunner so Austin tries the Walls. That doesn’t work either so Jericho sends him into the cage and tries to climb, only to be stopped before he can get that far.
Austin superplexes him back down but Jericho comes back with an enziguri. Jericho crawls for the door but Austin makes the save. Then Jericho crawls for the door but Austin makes the save. Austin rams him into the cage a few times and removes a turnbuckle pad. Jericho goes face first into the exposed buckle about eight times, busting the champion open.
A slingshot sends Jericho into the buckle and then drops him on top of it with snake eyes. WE GET IT ALREADY! Austin goes to leave but Jericho flips him off, drawing Austin back in for a Stunner to the champ. Steve goes for the door again but Booker slams it on his head, allowing Jericho to crawl out and escape to retain.
Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going and once it got going, it didn’t really go all that far. The ending might as well have been a big flashing neon sign after the promo Austin gave just before the match. This would lead to the grocery store fight which isn’t exactly the expected retaliation for this but at least it was entertaining, unlike this for the most part.
Overall Rating: C-. This show falls into the worst category you can be in: the dull but not bad kind. That’s what this show came down to: the stuff wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. That makes for a very uninteresting show with no good matches and most of the show being spent on stuff that didn’t go anywhere, like the sandwiches bit. HHH gets back in a few weeks but it’s not like he can fix a whole show. Please don’t let him see that as I know he’d love to try to do so.
Monday Night Raw – September 17, 2012: A New Generation May Be Rising
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2012
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross
It’s the night after Night of Champions and we have a dispute in the world title scene. Cena and Punk went to a draw last night and now we have six weeks to set up Hell in a Cell and the final showdown (for this feud). Also we have some great news in that Lawler has gone home after the heart attack last week and we have JBL filling in for him. JBL was awesome last night so I have no issues with him here tonight. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Heyman to Punk’s music to open the show. He talks about Cena not winning the title last night and mentions the controversy from last night’s main event. Heyman asks referee Chad Patton to come out and we get a still photo from last night which shows all four shoulders down. Patton says he made the right decision which Heyman agrees with. Heyman talks about some fan cam footage showing the ending of the match. Apparently it’s been taken off Youtube but we see it anyway.
Heyman rants a bit more and here’s Cena. Even his Titantron stuff is now pink. Nothing wrong with charity stuff. Cena tells Heyman to shut up and says it was the right call. Cena says it wasn’t him that took the video down and says that last night he said to Chad that you can’t end the match in a tie because it’s like ending the Super Bowl in a tie. John wants to know if that gives Punk the respect that he craves and Heyman says it does.
Cena says that they have different definitions of respect because a draw isn’t something that gets respect. He wants to know who the winner is and he wants to know tonight. Punk isn’t here tonight apparently but Heyman is the voice of the voice of the voiceless. Cue Alberto of all people to complain about the Brogue Kick being legalized at the last minute. Del Rio wants another title shot so here’s AJ who has no jurisdiction over that I don’t think. Tonight it’s Punk/Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Cena. Heyman goes after AJ but she skips away.
Cole is wearing a Long Live The King shirt. That’s a nice touch. He’s alone at the commentary table right now. We see a Tout from Lawler from last week and we’re told he’s gone home to Memphis. That’s awesome news. Lawler will be here via satellite next week.
JBL comes out for commentary. AND SO DOES JIM ROSS! WITH THE BEARD!
Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. Epico/Primo
Cara and Primo start us off and some double teaming gets two on Primo. Off to Rey as we take a break. Back with Epico holding Cara in a front facelock before it’s back to Primo. A tornado DDT puts Primo down and it’s off to Epico and Rey. Rey speeds things up and it’s back to Cara. Both cousins get caught in a 619 and Cara hits a Swanton for the pin on Epico at 6:52. Most of that was in the break so no rating but it was a squash.
Post match the Prime Time Players jump Mysterio and Cara. My goodness it’s almost like THERE ARE TAG TEAMS THAT ARE FEUDING FOR A SHOT AT THE BELTS! LIKE A DIVISION! Titus says they’re tired of having things taken from them and Young says that ends now. The Players seem to be a lot more serious now.
The new champs defend against the old champs tonight. See that? FIVE actual teams!
We talk about breast cancer a bit.
Miz has his own talk show called MizTV now.
Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres
Non-title here and Layla is on commentary. JBL is back on the conspiracy theory thing from last night. Beth shoves the new champion down as Layla thinks Eve is behind Kaitlyn’s injury. Beth pounds away on Eve and is being all aggressive here for some reason. She loads up the Glam Slam but Eve kicks Beth in the shin to break it up. That gets her nowhere as Beth pounds on Eve in the corner. Eve escapes snake eyes and rolls Beth up for the 1:47. What was up with this? Eve looked like she was a jobber until the end.
Layla and Eve have a staredown post match.
Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater
They’ve cut out Brodus’ speech before the intros. The good news here: Cesaro is on commentary and is being asked about Brodus a lot. Slater gets in some offense to start but Brodus makes his comeback. A Cesaro distraction lets Slater hit what I think is his finisher (falling cutter) for two. Slater goes up and jumps into the headbutt. The splash gets the pin at 2:05.
Here’s Miz for his talk show. He brags about keeps the title last night and talks about what you get an Intercontinental Champion. You get him a talk show of course. He talks about how great his show is compared to everyone else because he’ll be controversial and awesome. He proved that last night when he beat the three best guys his guest could throw at him. Here’s Booker and Miz talks about how his career is better than Booker’s. Miz points out that he beat three guys BLINDFOLDED last night. That’s awesome indeed.
Miz won’t let Booker talk but the fans chant for Booker. Miz asks about the Brogue Kick being reinstated and thinks it’s because Booker misses the spotlight. Booker finally gets in a word and says that Miz needs a new guest. It’s someone used to beating more than one person at once. Cue RYBACK! YES! Miz runs and Ryback destroys the set. A couch misses Miz and the idiot fans chant Goldberg as usual. HE GORILLA PRESSES A SOFA! GOOD FREAKING NIGHT! Did I mention I’m a big Ryback fan?
We see Lawler’s Tout again and hear the announcements from earlier.
Josh interrupts Punk and Heyman in the back. Punk isn’t looking forward to teaming with Del Rio tonight and is annoyed at still not getting respect.
Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler
JBL isn’t a Cobra fan to say the least. Santino tosses Ziggler down to start and gets dropkicked in the face. Dolph whips him in and Santino power walks. A jackknife cover gets two and Santino hooks an armbar. Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and elbow drop for two. He stuffs the Cobra in Santino’s mouth (keep it PG please) and it’s a slow motion slugout. Santino does his comeback stuff but there’s no Cobra. Vickie steals the sock and the distraction lets Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for no cover. Another Zig Zag gets the pin at 4:10.
Rating: D+. It’s a freaking sock. Why is this supposed to be entertaining? I get that it’s for the kids and at least it didn’t have magical powers tonight, but the fact that I just had to type that should sum up all of the problems that I have with this character right now. At least this was a squash, but it says a lot that this is Ziggler’s biggest win in weeks.
Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
Gabriel speeds things up to start but Wade kicks him in the ribs and we head to the floor. Back in the ring and Barrett works over the ribs and back some more. A right hand to the head gets two and it’s back to the ribs. The fans who still won’t shut up now want Nexus. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is countered and Gabriel hits a top rope Lionsault for two. Barrett pulls on his nose and hits a big forearm/punch for the pin at 4:12.
Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not wild on Barrett using a forearm as a finisher. It does fit with his character at least which is the right idea. I’m certainly not a fan of the match focusing on Gabriel’s ribs before a big right hand ending the match. Still though it’s good to see Barrett back and I like his grizzled look better than the clean cut one.
Truth and Kofi are having a birthday party but they can’t figure out who it’s for. It’s for SUBWAY and the Jerrid guy is here with sandwiches for them. The guys leave and here’s Sandow with an idea for a sandwich. Ryder shows up and offers the WOO WOO WOO You Know It sub. Ryback comes up and takes a sandwich. FEED ME MORE. He takes another sandwich and leaves. This goes less than nowhere. It takes us backwards.
Sheamus and Cena are in the back and Cena looks distracted. He didn’t win last night and he isn’t sure what’s going to happen in the future. Sheamus says don’t worry about it and we’ll toast the end of Punk’s reign tonight.
Kane and Bryan are telling anyone that will listen that they’re the tag champions. That would be they’re alone and shouting that they’re “the tag team champions.”
We get a clip of Lawler landing in Memphis.
Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Kane/Daniel Bryan
The place EXPLODES for Bryan. Kane and Bryan get in an argument before the match about who starts and the fans chant YES. Bryan and Kofi start things off and dang can Kofi jump. Off to Truth as the former champions work over the arm. Bryan charges into Truth’s boot and a cross body gets two for Kofi. Off to Kane and Kofi fires off some shots to the body which get him punched in the face. Kofi low bridges Kane and backdrops Bryan onto the big man. They get in a fight over THAT too and we take a break.
Back with Truth breaking free of a bearhug from Kane and getting some feet up in the corner. A middle rope dropkick puts Kane down and it’s off to Kofi who comes in off the top with a shot to Kane’s head. The top rope crossbody gets two for Kofi and there’s the Boom Drop. The kick is caught in a chokeslam but Kofi escapes and goes up, only to jump into the uppercut. Kane holds his arm up for the chokeslam and Bryan tags himself in, leading to argument #3.
Truth gets the tag and hits the spinning forearm to Bryan followed by the release sitout suplex for two. Back to Kofi who cranks on the arm a bit and the former champions hit a double Russian legsweep for two. Bryan sends Truth into the buckle with a drop toehold and it’s off to Kane with the top rope clothesline.
The low dropkick gets two on Truth and the sidewalk slam looks to set up the chokeslam, but Kane has to stop to look at Bryan who tries another blind tag. Kane tries to chokeslam him but Bryan guillotines him on the ropes. Little Jimmy gets two on Kane as Bryan saves his mistake. There’s the chokeslam to Truth but Bryan tags himself in for the NO Lock and the submission at 12:46.
Rating: C. This is another example of a match that isn’t so much good as it was entertaining. The arguing champions are still great and the division actually means something at this point which is more than they’ve been in years. I have no idea where this is going but it’s very entertaining.
Post match they fight AGAIN over who is the tag team champions. I can feel my old English teachers cringing at that line. Bryan wants to hug it out as Kane has both titles. They hug and Bryan steals a belt, leading to fight #5.
BE A STAR! FROM LAST MARCH!
Randy Orton vs. Tensai
Tensai powers him into the corner to start and elbows Orton down before working over the back in the corner. A powerslam gets two and it’s time for more face crushing. Time for a bearhug and then a nerve hold. Sweet goodness this is dull stuff. Orton finally hits a powerslam and the Elevated DDT and after the first attempt is countered, the RKO gets the pin at 6:00.
Rating: D. SWEET GOODNESS FIRE TENSAI ALREADY! The guy is not interesting at all and he’s dragging down every match he’s in. Orton had a great match last night but here we get this dull thing because we need to sit around and let Tensai use his slow and incredibly boring offense. The Japanese thing does nothing for him at all either. Just dreadful and Orton is better than this.
Otunga and Del Rio meet with Punk and Heyman with Harvard Boy saying he thinks Punk sleeps in a box on the street. Punk whispers to Heyman and Heyman says Del Rio should go back to Survivor Series last year where Punk beat him for the title.
Here’s Sandow to make fun of the commentary tonight. He has a list of vocabulary words that may help us for the upcoming school year. Sandow explains a few words before Ryder finally interrupts him. He has two words for Sandow: shut and up.
Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow
This is joined in progress with Sandow (in light purple tonight) controlling Ryder with a headlock on the mat. Ryder sends him to the floor and hits a plancha which gets two back in the ring. Sandow comes back with a knee to the ribs followed by a chinlock. A Russian legsweep sets up the wind up elbow for two. A rollup and small package get two each for Ryder and a facejam takes Sandow down.
Ryder hits a running forearm in the corner but Sandow heads to the floor before the Broski Boot can hit. Back in and Sandow runs into the knees in the corner. There’s the Boot but it only gets two. Not that it matters though as the double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 5:34.
Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here but at least Sandow had to go a bit longer in the ring. He and Ryder do seem like a natural pairing but I don’t know if I can see a full on feud between the two of them. At least it’s better than Sandow getting beaten up by Brodus all the time though. Not much here though.
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk
Punk holds up the title for a LONG time before the match starts. We come back from a break and the match STILL hasn’t started. Del Rio and Cena start although I didn’t hear a bell. Del Rio fires off some kicks to the legs but Cena comes back with a monkey flip and backdrop for two. Off to Sheamus who beats up Del Rio a bit more before it’s off to Punk. Cena comes in and immediately tries the AA but Punk bails to the floor where he wants time out.
Cena got thumbed in the eye somewhere in there and Punk stomps away on him. Off to Del Rio who works on the arm a bit. Cena finally gets in a shot and brings in Sheamus who hits the ten forearms in the ropes. White Noise hits and Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick. He has to stop to take out Punk though and Del Rio takes Sheamus down. Punk comes in and hooks a bow and arrow to take over.
Del Rio comes back in for a chinlock followed by the Blackout (it’s the running foot to the back to drive Sheamus into the mat. NXT Champion Seth Rollins uses it as a finisher) for two. Del Rio charges into the Irish Curse and both guys are down. Double tag brings in Punk vs. Cena with John starting his finishing sequence. The Shuffle is blocked but Cena counters into the STF. Alberto makes the save but Sheamus kicks Del Rio’s head off. The AA hits and gets the pin at 9:48 but Punk’s foot was on the ropes. The referee missed it and we have another messy call.
Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here with the ending being messed up to set up another match in the future, which we only kind of needed after last night. As long as Del Rio and Sheamus don’t have their fourth match on PPV I’m ok there, but I’m guessing we’ll get a challenger for him on Smackdown. The match was fine but it wasn’t the super match the announcers hyped it up as.
Punk yells at the referee post match and won’t let him leave. He follows the referee up the ramp to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot and if they didn’t have about an hour in the middle of it, the show would have been a great one. I’m REALLY excited about the idea of Ryback and Brodus having title feuds and the pushing of Sin Cara is a good sign too. We’re getting a significant amount of new people being pushed and that’s something that has been needed for a long time. Good show tonight and a good followup to the great PPV last night.
Results
Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Epico/Primo – Swanton Bomb to Epico
Eve Torres b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – Splash
Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel – Right Hand
Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – NO Lock to R-Truth
Randy Orton b. Tensai – RKO
Damien Sandow b. Zach Ryder – Double Arm Neckbreaker
John Cena/Sheamus b. CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio – AA to Punk
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Night of Champions 2012: Send This Show To Disneyland. It’s Earned The Trip.
Night of Champions 2012
Date: September 16, 2012
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s another WWE PPV here and in this case almost everything is for a title. This doesn’t really mean much as almost every show has four or five title shots but it’s an interesting theme I guess. The main event here is Cena vs. Punk III for the title with Punk defending for once, which is the third combination they could go with in their series. Other than that not much really stands out here so let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Battle Royal
Brodus Clay, Epico, Primo, Justin Gabriel, Tensai, Tyson Kidd, Michael McGillicutty, Zach Ryder, Titus O’Neal, Darren Young, Jinder Mahal, JTG, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Ted DiBiase, Santino Marella
The winner gets a US Title shot at Cesaro later in the night. Cameron is back from suspension apparently. Anybody but Santino. Anybody. Slater asks everyone to stand back so he can dance and he’s eliminated by 15 people at once. McGillicutty is thrown out as is DiBiase in about 40 seconds. Brodus dumps Primo and Mahal a few seconds later. The problem in battle royals is that there isn’t much else to say other than who tosses out who until we get to the end. Brodus puts out Epico and Tensai LAUNCHES Gabriel out.
Kidd is sent to the apron and tries a slingshot hurricanrana but gets powerbombed onto the pile of people. The monsters square off and Santino tries a double Cobra to no avail. The Players and McIntyre team up and dump Brodus, who may have hurt his shoulder. The Cobra puts JTG out and Ryder dropkicks McIntyre out. Brodus leaves and his shoulder seems fine so maybe it was just something quick. There’s the Cobra and it drops Tensai and Young, with the latter getting covered.
O’Neal dumps Santino and we’re down to Titus, Young, Tensai and Ryder. Titus suplexes Young onto Tensai before the partners go after Ryder. The Players double team Ryder but get dumped by Tensai. Tensai thought Ryder went out but he slid back in. Tensai charges into the double knee in the corner but he blocks the Rough Ryder into a powerbomb position. He goes to dump Ryder but Ryder counters into a hurricanrana to eliminate Tensai for the win at 5:42.
Rating: C-. It’s a battle royal so there isn’t much to say here. Ryder getting the shot is fine as the fans are going to react to him. He doesn’t have much of a chance against Cesaro but that’s ok as I’m sure more than one other title will change hands tonight. This was about what you would expect, but at least Santino didn’t win which would have been insufferable.
The opening video is all about Cena vs. Punk. They aren’t even hiding that the Smackdown Title means nothing does it?
Cole talks about the Lawler story and says that Jerry is going home this weekend. That’s great to hear. JBL is introduced as the replacement and says that he’s just keeping the seat warm for Lawler.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.
It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.
The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.
Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.
Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.
Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.
The Prime Time Players are talking to Eve when someone comes up to tell her there’s an emergency. Eve runs off and finds Kaitlyn down with a bad ankle. She isn’t sure who attacked her but Eve says they’ll figure out something.
We recap the Anger Management story with I believe the same video that aired on Friday. Basically Kane and Bryan both have anger issues and have been sent to anger management, resulting in some wacky outcomes and a tag title shot tonight.
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Kane/Daniel Bryan
Kane and Kofi start but it’s quickly off to Truth. The big man powers Truth down and it’s off to Bryan for some NO kicks which drive him crazy. Truth armdrags him down and it’s back to Kofi with a top rope forearm for two. A BIG kick to the face puts Bryan down and it’s back to Truth for the spinning legdrop. The champions are the heels here by default, but it’s more like they’re just the less popular team.
Back to Kane who pounds Truth down into the corner and stomps away a bit. Back to Bryan and the fans erupt. The fans are going to turn this guy face by force soon and it’s going to be massive. Bryan fires off some kicks for two and it’s back to Kane for a low dropkick for two. The challengers try to work together but Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner and it’s time for a fight.
They almost brawl but Bryan wants to hug it out, drawing the pop of the night so far. JBL freaking out over stuff is something I’ve missed. Truth FINALLY makes the hot tag after apparently writing the great American novel while the challengers hugged. Kofi hits his usual stuff and it sounds like the fans are booing him.
Kane pulls Bryan to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise and they get in another argument. Kofi dropkicks Kane and (almost) hits a flip dive onto Bryan. NO Lock to Kofi doesn’t work as Truth makes the save to more booing. Bryan kicks Kofi in the face but Kane tags himself in and loads up the clothesline. Another argument with Bryan lets Kofi run up for a rana but Bryan holds Kane’s foot. Kane stays on the top but Bryan shoves him off into a splash to Kofi to win the titles at 8:30.
Rating: B-. This was different but the fans ate it up with a spoon. There was absolutely no other option for this match as Kane and Bryan are currently over like free beer in a frat house. The pop for the win is bigger than probably all of the reactions for a tag title match in the last five years combined, so at least people are paying attention now.
Both guys say they’re the champions post match but Kane sends fire from the posts to end the argument.
Kaitlyn can’t go tonight and Eve says no one deserves the title match tonight. Booker says Eve can have it. Teddy isn’t pleased.
Cole and JBL talk about breast cancer and how WWE is partnering with a cancer research foundation which is why the middle rope is pink. Nothing wrong with that at all.
US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro
Ryder won the preshow battle royal to get this shot. The word of the night is Unfair, which is what Cesaro thinks this match is. Cesaro takes him down with ease to start but Ryder takes Cesaro down by the wrist to counter. A flapjack and dropkick get two for Ryder but Cesaro shrugs them off and hooks a chinlock. A clothesline gets two for Cesaro as does the gutwrench suplex.
Cesaro gets the same off a regular suplex and the fans cheer for Ryder. They slug it out but Cesaro throws him into the air and hits the European uppercut for two. Cesaro hooks a reverse neckbreaker but pulls Ryder onto his back for a submission hold. Ryder escapes and hits a discus lariat for no cover.
A rollup gets two for Ryder as does a middle rope dropkick. Ryder hits a neckbreaker for two and Cesaro rolls to the apron. He goes up but Ryder brings him down with a hurricanrana. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot but Aksana pulls him to the floor. Back in and a European Uppercut sets up the Neutralizer to retain the title at 6:40.
Rating: C-. This was perfectly fine. It wasn’t a great match at all but for a thrown together PPV title defense this was fine. Cesaro needs a bit more development but he’s fine having random challengers like this one. Ryder is good to throw out there as the people still like him so the fans react to what he does. Nothing great but this was fine.
Otunga, Del Rio and Rodriguez are in the back. Ricardo has his neck brace off and Otunga yells at him, saying it needs to be on at all times even though Ricardo says it’s not hurting anymore. They call Ricardo stupid and he puts the brace back on.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton
Basic grudge match here. The fans like Ziggler and they fight over a lockup to start. Ziggler avoids a right hand and brags about doing so. A clothesline takes Ziggler down and Randy stomps away. Dolph comes back with a dropkick and a neckbreaker for two. Cole is playing the straight man on commentary here tonight and it’s really refreshing. Orton counters a suplex into a slingshot suplex for two.
The backbreaker sets up some clotheslines from Randy but he can’t hook the Elevated DDT. The camera keeps cutting to Vickie and it’s getting distracting. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but Orton counters into a powerbomb. Orton gets shoved off the top and a missile dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dang it quit cutting to her. We get it: she’s on the floor and shouting a lot. We can see that very clearly from the regular camera shot.
Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows capped off by the jumping elbow for two. Off to a chinlock with the headstand by Ziggler but this time he bridges forward to crank on the neck even more. Back up and another dropkick gets two for Ziggler. Dolph goes up but gets crotched and superplexed down for two. They slug it out and Ziggler holds his own. He runs into an elbow but takes Orton down with the Fameasser for two.
They head to the floor with Orton taking over. He hits the Elevated DDT off the barricade but Orton throws Ziggler back in instead of taking the countout. That only gets two back inside and Orton loads up the RKO but gets countered into the sleeper. Orton throws him off his back, throws Ziggler into the air and pulls him into the RKO for the pin at 18:15.
Rating: B+. Very good match here with Ziggler more than hanging with Orton. JBL pushed the idea that if Ziggler cashes in, Orton should get a title match. My guess is that they’ll go with that feud after Orton gets back from the movie which isn’t a bad idea. I’m not wild on Ziggler losing AGAIN but at least it was in a competitive match.
We get a sneak preview of Dredd 3D.
Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres
I can’t say I blame them for swapping in Eve. Kaitlyn just can’t do anything in the ring. JBL is talking about the Loch Ness Monster and other conspiracy theories for some reason. Layla grabs a quick rollup for two followed by a headlock. You can see the fans walking to the back during the match. A low dropkick takes Eve down and they shake hands, only for Eve to get a cheap shot to take over. Eve hooks a headscissors choke as the fans chant OLE. Layla makes a comeback but misses her bouncing cross body. The rolling neckbreaker gives us a new champion at 6:35.
Rating: D+. The match was technically fine but my goodness the crowd being silent brings it down. Eve being champion makes sense but it’s not like the title changes anything with her. She’s FAR better in the ring than some of the girls on the roster so I can’t complain much there, but they’ve treated the title like nothing for so long that this doesn’t mean anything at all.
Some cancer survivors are here and at least they’re not booed.
Now we get a video about breast cancer.
Bryan is shouting about being the tag team champions and runs into AJ who is just standing around with her hips cocked to the side in a short skirt. She doesn’t say anything so Bryan keeps walking and runs into Dr. Shelby. Kane shows up and shouts that he’s the tag champions (I’m not messing up with grammar. That’s what they’re saying).
They get in another fight and AJ snaps and tells them to calm down. Shelby makes Bryan congratulate Kane but Kane won’t say anything. Bryan yells that he’s the tag team champions but Kane pops up and pours Gatorade over Bryan. Kane: “I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!” Stop the shot. Just cut it now. This isn’t going to be topped. Kane can be heard running off shouting that he’s the tag team champions and AJ loses it with laughter.
The look on JBL’s face somehow makes it even better. “I came back for THIS???”
After that hilarious moment, we bring it way down with a recap of Del Rio vs. Sheamus. In short, they had a match, Sheamus beat Del Rio, they had another match, Sheamus beat Del Rio again, Del Rio complained, now they’re having another match and Sheamus can’t use the Brogue Kick.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is in mostly white attire here which isn’t a great look for him. We get the big match intros which is a nice touch. Before the bell here’s Booker T. He’s concluded his investigation into the Brogue Kick and the move is legal, thereby making the last two weeks TOTALLY POINTLESS. Sheamus fires a quick Brogue Kick but takes out Otunga instead. Referees come out to take Otunga to the back.
JBL defends his own loss to Mysterio in 23 seconds as Sheamus pounds away in the corner. A neckbreaker gets two for Sheamus and we head to the floor where Sheamus hits the shoulder from the apron. Del Rio throws him off the steps into the announce table to take over. Back in the ring and Del Rio cranks on the arm followed by a kick to the ribs. Del Rio uses Seth Rollins’ Blackout for two. Cole is talking about the history of the title and thankfully they say it only goes back ten years.
Sheamus’ shoulder gets sent into the post and a double ax off the top to the arm gets two for Alberto. Del Rio goes up again but Sheamus knocks him off, only to have Alberto grab an armbreaker over the ropes. An attempt at another ax handle is countered by an ax handle from Sheamus. Sheamus fires off more running ax handles and rams Alberto face first into the post.
There are the ten forearms in the corner and Alberto is in trouble. White Noise is countered into a Backstabber for two. The fans want Ziggler. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into White Noise and the fans still want Ziggler. The Brogue Kick misses and there’s the enziguri in the corner for a very close two. Another Brogue Kick misses but Sheamus escapes the Armbreaker but he can’t hook the Cloverleaf.
Sheamus charges at Del Rio but gets low bridged and his arm is trapped in the ropes. Del Rio fires away kicks and Sheamus is in trouble. There’s the Armbreaker but Sheamus rolls on top of Del Rio and powerbombs him down to break the hold. Brogue Kick misses and there’s the Armbreaker AGAIN. Sheamus almost taps but makes the ropes with his feet instead. The corner enziguri misses for Del Rio and the Brogue Kick finishes clean at 14:27.
Rating: B. These matches are fine but there are three problems with the feud. First and foremost, the story is incredibly boring. I mean, they’re REALLY boring. Second, Sheamus is not going to tap out to the Armbreaker. It’s flat out not going to happen, just like 99.99% of all heel submission holds in world title matches. It just does not happen in the WWE. Third, Sheamus has beaten him twice coming into this so what was the point of a third match? This feud needs to be over now, just like it needed to be over a month ago. Still though, pretty good match.
Video on the National Guard which has some members here tonight.
We recap Punk vs. Cena. Punk has been champion for about ten months but he thinks he can’t get respect because of Cena. Tonight he gets to define his reign, whatever that is supposed to mean.
Heyman is in the ring and praises Punk, saying that Punk has described himself as a Paul Heyman Guy.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk
Punk has the old school hoodie on and comes out first. Cena has a new shirt. Punk’s trunks are Yankees colors. My goodness they’re pushing the tar out of this heel turn. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Punk is getting booed but it’s not 100%. He holds up the title for like a minute before the match starts. It’s a pose off and Cena throws his shirt to the crowd where his dad catches it.
Cena takes him to the mat and Punk’s trunks even have pinstripes on them. Cena gets a quick headlock but it’s released quickly. Cole and JBL keep rattling off stats and histories which is much better than Cole laughing at stuff. A quick release fisherman’s suplex puts Punk down but Punk elbows Cena in the face to escape. Punk takes over with a headlock takeover and the dueling Cena chants begin.
Cena misses a charge in the corner and Punk dropkicks him in the face for two. They’re still in first gear. Punk walks over Cena’s body to get to the corner for some posing. That was awesome and he escapes the AA attempt on top of that. A DDT gets two for Punk and he fires some elbows to Cena’s chest. Off to a chinlock followed by a bridging Indian Deathlock and Heyman has those evil eyes going on.
They head to the floor as Cena tries to get a breather but Punk sends him right back inside. Cena baseball slides him to the floor and throws Punk into the crowd. A suplex on the floor takes Punk down and we head back inside. The AA is countered into a high kick and it’s off to a camel clutch. Back up and Punk fires off some jabs for two. The GTS is escaped and Cena starts his finishing sequence, only to counter the spinning slam into a cross body for two.
Cena avoids the neckbreaker and takes Punk’s head off with a clothesline for two. The Shuffle is blocked and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker. Punk goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an AA attempt but Punk grabs the rope to block. Cena busts out a suicide dive to take Punk out. Not bad at all. Back in and Punk slaps on a very quick Anaconda Vice but Cena gets on top of Punk and puts on the STF. Punk rolls out of that into a Crossface but Cena stands up with it and slams Punk down to escape.
They slug it out with Cena taking over but he walks into a leg lariat. The knee in the corner sets up a clothesline followed by the Macho Elbow for two. Cena counters the GTS into the STF and JBL (I feel like I’m on Sesame Street) freaks out. Punk gets to the rope and the GTS hits clean for two. A kick to the head gets two and Punk slaps him in the face. GTS and AA are escaped but Cena hits the spinning slam and Shuffle followed by the AA for a VERY close two. Heyman looks like he’s 13 and finding a Playboy.
Cena goes up but misses the top rope Fameasser and there’s the high kick for ANOTHER close two. They’re in the main event slugout mode now and it’s great stuff. Punk hits some shots to the face and a spinning backfist. A knee to the head gets two and Punk goes up, only to miss a moonsault. It wouldn’t have hit even if Cena had stayed in the same place. AA is countered and a not so great GTS gets two.
Punk tries a Rock Bottom for two. Cena hits an AA out of nowhere for two. Cena puts him on the middle rope and tries a belly to back superplex but Punk knocks him off. John runs right back up and hits a middle rope German for the pin and the title at 26:54. Both of their shoulders were down and I think you know where this is going.
Yep the referee is saying not so fast (my friend) and it’s a draw.
Rating: A-. While it’s not as good as MITB (that’s an unfair expectation though) and a bit below Summerslam if I remember that match right, this was still top shelf stuff. The ending sets up another match in the Cell where it belongs and I’d certainly like to see another match between these two. I’m not wild on the ending but it makes perfect sense. Great match too.
Punk clocks Cena with the belt.
Overall Rating: A-. This was an excellent show with nothing bad on it at all. The worst match was probably the Divas and that was pretty much fine. Most importantly of all though: they treated the belts like something that mattered tonight and it made a noticeable difference. JBL on commentary was great and Bryan/Kane are still great. You had two really good matches and a bunch of other solid ones. Very good show here and probably their best PPV since Wrestlemania.
Results
The Miz b. Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes – Miz pinned Rhodes after a Skull Crushing Finale
Kane/Daniel Bryan b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Kane pinned Kingston after a top rope splash
Antonio Cesaro b. Zack Ryder – Neutralizer
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Eve Torres b. Layla – Spinning Neckbreaker
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick
John Cena vs. CM Punk went to a draw
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Monday Night Raw – December 7, 1998: Austin Gets Crucified
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 1998
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for Rock Bottom and the card is mostly set. If nothing else the two main events are set and when you have Rock vs. Mankind and Austin vs. Undertaker, you really don’t need much else besides that. We’re rapidly approaching the end of the year and it’s only taken me about two years to finish it. Let’s get to it.
Cole is on commentary instead of JR who I think is out with Bell’s Palsy.
Here’s DX to open the show minus the Outlaws. HHH needs to talk about the Outlaws. If they’ve made a business decision then that’s cool, but have the balls to tell him to his face. Here are the Outlaws in suits with bottles of water. Road Dogg does the Corporate version of his schtick and the fans aren’t pleased. The Outlaws get Shawn to come out here and it’s time for the showdown of the DX bosses.
Shawn says he invented DX and says that HHH is infringing on his gimmick. He says HHH rode his coattails for years and that Shawn made HHH into a somebody from a nobody. HHH says he carried Shawn when Shawn had no business as champion anymore. HHH says that once Shawn got hurt, he picked up the ball. Direct quote from Shawn: “I’ve had balls you’ll never get to have.” Shawn says he can break HHH so HHH tells him to suck it. Tonight it’s HHH/Pac vs. Boss Man and Shamrock, anything goes. Shawn says the Outlaws are allowed to get involved. Be careful Shawn. You’re coming up on a pretty sharp swerve.
Tonight it’s Austin/Mankind vs. Rock/Undertaker. Nothing wrong with combining a few feuds like that.
Post break HHH and Pac are asking Chyna to watch their backs.
Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown
Jarrett gets Goldust in a striptease match on Sunday. If Jarrett wins, Goldust loses his clothes and if Jarrett loses, Debra does it instead. Did I mention Russo is booking? Jarrett jumps Brown to start but Brown comes back with a clothesline and a middle rope shoulder block. Debra distracts the referee for no apparent reason and Henry gets a shot in on Jeff. Apparently JR isn’t here because his mom died. That’s always rough.
A swinging neckbreaker puts Brown down and a top rope cross body gets two for Jeff. A Russian legsweep gets the same but Brown hits a kind of Liger Bomb out of nowhere. Here’s Goldust in a trenchcoat to flash Debra. The distraction let’s Brown roll up Jeff for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was all here for the ending and that’s ok….usually. When the payoff to a match is Goldust stripping, there’s not much ok about that at all. I’ve always been a D’Lo fan though so seeing him get a win is always a good thing. Not a terrible match here but the whole stripping thing never was exactly interesting.
Austin doesn’t like the main event.
Vince gave a speech at Oxford University last week.
Headbangers vs. Edge/Gangrel
Mosh and Gangrel get us going here as we’re told the ICP is gone. Thank goodness. Gangrel takes over quickly and it’s off to Edge who gets a quick two off a double middle rope DDT. Double teaming gives the Bangers the advantage and Edge is in trouble off a flapjack which gets two. Here’s Luna to jump Thrasher for the DQ.
For no apparent reason, Tiger Ali Singh and Babu come out to try to calm Luna down but the Oddities come out and clean house.
Mankind is talking to some chairs in the back.
The Corporation is talking to Bearer about getting Undertaker to function with Rock.
Owen Hart vs. Goldust
Owen came out of retirement last night on Heat. Hart takes his time to start due to ring rust. The idea here is that Owen looks WAY too polished to have been out of action for so many months. A suplex gets two on Goldie but he grabs a small package for the same. Owen hits his enziguri for another two and a middle rope elbow for a third two. Goldust gets in a shot but here are Jarrett and Debra with the latter in a trenchcoat. She flashes Goldust but Owen is caught in the stare too, giving Goldust the rollup win.
Rating: D+. This didn’t have a chance to get going at all and the idea was to have Goldust get paid back for earlier, but it got a twist. Not a bad match or anything, but this was more about building an angle than a match. The problem at the end of the day is that you couldn’t actually pay off the idea of nudity (unless you’re the Kat for some reason) so people kind of got tired of waiting.
Austin is walking around.
D’Lo Brown was in Europe recently.
The rest of the company was in Europe too.
Val Venis/Godfather vs. Acolytes
I don’t know if it was ever made official but I’ve heard the name for Godfather and Venis was going to be Supply and Demand. That would have been great if they ever went with it. Godfather offers a fan one of his ho’s but he’s rather short and fat. The guy gets both of them for free because apparently he doesn’t have any experience with them. The Acolytes finally come out and it’s too much of a brawl to even be called a match. It didn’t even last a minute.
Here’s Austin to the arena. Austin talks about surviving everything that Vince and the Undertaker have thrown at him and he’ll have no mercy on Undertaker on Sunday. Cue Undertaker’s music and the Undertaker cross symbol on the stage. Taker’s voice comes through the arena who says Austin is helpless against the Ministry and Taker can take Austin’s soul. The symbol lights on fire.
Mankind has a bag and is talking about Austin.
Steve Blackman vs. Tiget Ali Singh
Singh jumps him to start but Blackman comes back with his kicks to the ribs and a bad dropkick. Total squash after that as Blackman wins with the bicycle kick. This would be Tiger’s last match on Raw for about two years and I don’t think anyone knew he was gone.
Post match the Blue Blazer (falling on his way to the ring) and Owen Hart run out to beat up Blackman.
Mankind is still looking around in the back and finds Austin’s dressing room.
Mark Henry vs. Droz
Is this the night of the filler matches? Henry takes Droz’s head off with a clothesline and a BIG forearm to the chest. A charge misses and Hery goes to the floor where Droz pounds on him a bit more. Droz sends him into the steps and here’s Chyna after the guys have been on the floor for like a minute and a half. Back in and a shoulder block takes Henry down before Chyna gets on the apron. Droz holds Henry for her to hit Henry, but Chyna hits Droz instead. A powerslam and a splash give Henry the pin.
Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was there for the surprise ending. Chyna and Henry is a story that was fun back in the day and it still kind of is here. The match seemed to run longer than it was supposed to so maybe Chyna was late coming out. They seemed to be on the floor forever.
Post match Henry is happy.
The Outlaws meet with the Corporation again.
HHH/X-Pac vs. Big Bossman/Ken Shamrock
Anything goes here. Boss Man has the nightstick in his hand to start but throws it down to face X-Pac. Pac takes Boss Man’s head off with a spin kick and it’s off to HHH in his first match back from a knee injury. They head to the floor and Boss Man is sent into the steps as everything breaks down. Shamrock and HHH head up the ramp with HHH hitting a suplex to take over.
The match breaks down as it should given the rules or lack thereof. Back inside there’s a Bronco Buster to Boss Man as we get back to a regular tag match. Boss Man powerbombs Pac for two and it’s off to a chinlock as the Outlaws are here. Off to Shamrock who kicks Pac down for no cover. Off to a front facelock on Pac as the Outlaws may or may not be cheering for his to make a comeback.
X-Pac hits a flipping clothesline to take Ken down and the ankle lock is countered by an enziguri. There’s the hot tag to HHH who cleans house. The facebuster gets two on Shamrock and everything breaks down. Shawn throws a chair to Shamrock but Billy wants to do the honors. He clocks Shamrock with it and the Outlaws are DX. The match is thrown out even though it’s anything goes because…..well just because.
Rating: D+. For a match where anything goes, not much went. The ending wasn’t really shocking or anything if you’re paying attention, but back when I was ten years old this was a big surprise. It’s good that they didn’t do the turn for the Outlaws here as it would have made the Corporation way too strong. The ending makes no sense but I think they were hoping no one noticed. Or maybe the writers didn’t notice.
Mankind leaves Austin’s locker room.
DX celebrates in the back.
Austin goes into his locker room and finds a bag with a note. He finds a beer and the note says that Mankind is going after Rock.
The Rock/The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin/Mankind
Mankind tries to fight them both at once which goes about as well as you would expect it to. Austin comes out soon after and it’s a big brawl on the ramp. Rock and Austin pair off which is always worth a look. All four brawl over to the announce table before Austin goes after Taker. Scratch that as they’re back to the original pairings again. They haven’t all been in the ring yet and we’re a few minutes into this.
Taker and Mankind head into the ring as the other two fight into the crowd. There’s a chokeslam to Mankind but Austin distracts the referee so there’s no count. Mankind takes a beating from both guys for awhile, which is smart as he’s a master at selling like few others are. Austin finally says screw this apron thing and goes after Rock on the floor.
Back in the ring Mankind drops Taker with a swinging neckbreaker but Rock gets tagged in before there’s a hot tag. A spinebuster sets up the Corporate Elbow for two followed by the Rock Bottom but Austin makes the save. Everything breaks down and Shamrock and Boss Man come in for the DQ.
Rating: C-. Star power alone carries this but I’m getting tired of these matches that don’t go anywhere because people run in before we can have a finish. The match was much more of a brawl than a match which is understandable and the ending makes sense as you don’t want anyone to lose. Well you could have Rock get pinned by Mankind to establish that the title is in jeopardy, but why do that when you can have ANOTHER run-in?
Post match the brawl continues and Mankind is cuffed to the post. Austin gets hit with the ring bell and Taker carries him on his shoulder up to the stage towards the symbol. We’ve got druids and Austin is “sacrificed”/crucified to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show depends on the view you look at it from. From one view, they did a great job at setting up the PPV as almost every match got at least a little time. On the other hand, there were practically no good matches and some of the stuff was insane, especially the ending with the crucifixion which I’ve never been comfortable with. It’s not an awful show, but it’s certainly frustrating as Russo can’t just let a match have an ending.
The show is tomorrow and it feels like we could spend another month building it up.Starting with the preshow and the match that it sets up, there’s no way to know what’s going on. The obvious answer is it depends on who wins the battle royal, and since we don’t know who’s in the battle royal, there’s no way to know who is getting the shot and therefore if I think they’ll win. My guess is that it’ll be Kidd or Brodus and I can’t see Kidd getting the title. Brodus……I can’t quite see that either but the match would be a tossup. Other options would be Christian or Big Show but I can’t see it being the Canadian. If it’s Show…..yeah they’d likely give him the belt.
Kane and Bryan winning the tag titles is the only logical ending to the tag title match. There is zero reason to have Kofi and Truth keep the titles while Kane and Bryan are doing the most entertaining stuff in the company by miles and miles. If there’s anything that should be a layup for the bookers, it’s this.
As for the IC Title, the usual way of thinking would say Miz retains the title because he sneaks in and steals the pin, but for some reason I don’t see that happening. Cody winning the title and setting up a mask vs. title match against either Rey or Cara would work fine, or either masked guy could take the title. It would possibly give the fans a reason to care about Cara, but I don’t think it would do much good. Rey has no need for the thing other than to feud with Cody more, but I think if it’s going to change it goes to Cody. Odds are it’ll stay with Miz though and that’s probably the right idea. One other thing: I love the combination of the title and the established feud. That’s an old school booking move and the current product could use more of those techniques.
Kaitlyn vs. Layla. The coin came up heads so we’ll say Layla retains.
Ziggler vs. Orton. This is one of those matches I’m not sure where they’re going. Orton is leaving to film the movie so he doesn’t need the win, but at the same time Ziggler is Mr. MITB which means he’s hardly ever allowed to win a major match. My instinct would be that Ziggler wins andtakes Orton out somehow so Orton can go film the movie and then perhaps Ziggler wins the title in the meantime, setting up a rematch later on for the title.
I’ve been watching wrestling for a very long time and honestly I can’t think of a world title feud that interests me less than Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Sheamus is one of my favorite guys but sweet goodness this feud isn’t doing anything for anyone. Del Rio is such a boring and uninteresting character and he’s lost clean(ish) to Sheamus every single time. What in the world is the point in seeing this AGAIN? Yeah Sheamus can’t use the Brogue Kick, but he has like 3 other finishers so it doesn’t mean much at all. Sheamus to retain and PLEASE let that be the final time these two fight ever again.
That leaves the main event with Punk vs. Cena and they really could go either way with this. At the end of the day, Punk is living in Cena’s shadow and it’s driving him crazy. ALl roads lead to January and the Rumble match with Rock, which likely sets up the rematch with Cena at Mania 29. Based on that, I’ll go with Punk to retain here, but I don’t know if he’ll survive all the way until January. Either way the reign isn’t lasting until my birthday in February. Punk to retain but not by much.
Overall, this is a show that has the potential to be good on paper but the build for it hasn’t quite worked. The whole company is running at half speed at the moment and they need a shot in the arm. The stories aren’t bad but they’re not doing a good job of making people care. It’s like they’re running with an anchor and they need something good to light a fire under them. Maybe that’s this show.
All Reviews Page Changed
It occurred to me that the All Reviews page was insanely long and I thought it was getting hard to navigate. I’ve installed a new thing on the right hand side where you can click on whatever category you like and you’ll go to the same kind of list but only for the category you’re looking for, such as WWE or TNA or whatever. You won’t have to go through the big long list of them and it looks a lot neater. The regular All Reviews page is there still too if you prefer it.
KB
Site Change Coming
It’s come to my attention that the template for my site keeps me from being able to do a lot of the things I’d like to so I’m going to change a few things. It’ll be all of the same content but just a different look. I’ll be in full control of it and things will still be like they are now and not like they were over the summer.