Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2005
Location: MassMutual Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and again I don’t remember why. Smackdown in 2005 is an area I haven’t touched, just like 04, 06 or 07. These years are kind of forgotten in Smackdown and I’m not sure why. Batista is world champion at this point but is about to be taken out by a legit injury. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Boogeyman vs. Nunzio

It’s kind of nice to immediately open with a match even if it’s a squash. There’s smoke everywhere after Boogeyman’s entrance. Boogey dominates to start and eats some worms. A pumphandle powerslam squashes Nunzio quickly.

Vito, Nunzio’s muscle, is beaten down post match. The Smackdown locker room is sickened.

Bob Orton wants Randy to see a sports psychologist. This isn’t going to go well.

Post break Randy is with the shrink and says he’s afraid of Taker. Randy says that he’s scared of Undertaker because Taker is in his head and the Cell on Sunday scares him. The doctor basically says get over it. I’m sure there will be more of this later.

Batista is in the back getting ready for a tag title shot against MNM later when Melina comes in. She rubs his shoulders and basically offers him sex to step out of the title match. She kisses Batista and I think Batista agrees to the proposition.

We get an Armageddon news conference and basically JBL wants a match. He wound up getting Matt Hardy.

Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy

I think this is Kash’s debut. Scratch that as apparently he’s been on Velocity but this is his first Smackdown match. Last week Kash attacked the Mexicools so this is about revenge. The other Mexicools, Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis, are sent to the back. Things go fast to start of course with Crazy taking over with a monkey flip. Kash sends him through the ropes but Crazy comes back in with a spinwheel kick.

Kash gets in a shoulder to the ribs and stomps away for two. Crazy pounds away but Kash pulls Crazy by the hair into the knee like a backbreaker for two. They slug it out a bit more and Kash walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy takes FOREVER to set up the moonsault and misses, letting Kash hit a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Kid Kash and this was a borderline mess. They weren’t clicking at all out there. The Mexicools was such a dead end gimmick that never went anywhere at all and Kash was your run of the mill cruiserweight, which means he held the title for awhile and no one really remembers it.

Post match Kash tries the brainbuster on a chair but the Mexicools make the save.

Randy has come to a conclusion which he’ll announce later.

Melina is seen putting her bra and top back on while Batista tightens his trunks. Melina is glad Batista is dropping out of the match but Batista said he never made any deal. He got a good warmup from her so he’s going to kill MNM tonight. Good stuff here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

MNM is defending and would be more famous as Mercury (Joey), Nitro (John Morrison) and Melina (Melina). Melina is all disturbed by sleeping with Batista so she hides from the paparazzi. Mercury and Rey start things off with Rey in control. The fans think someone involved in this match is a sl**. After the starters do little of note it’s off to Nitro vs. Big Dave with Nitro actually trying his kicks on Batista. Batista just kind of glares at him and tosses him around for fun.

Mercury comes in and is immediately almost powerbombed but Nitro makes the save. Batista shrugs off the superkick and clotheslines them both to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio as we take a break. Back with Rey getting two off a springboard splash before pounding on Nitro in the corner. Mercury finally realizes their only chance is to double team so he helps Nitro counter a rana into a slingshot powerbomb for two. That looked cool.

Off to Nitro who gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. When that gets boring, Nitro opts for right hands to the head. Why mess with the basics I guess. Mysterio tries to fight back but gets taken down with ease and double teamed. Even Melina gets in some offense by pulling him out to the floor. Mercury coems in and covers Rey about three times in a row with no success.

A spinning flapjack (cool move) gets two for Mercury and now he’s getting cocky. Back to Nitro for the breakdancing legdrop for two. Rey gets caught in a body vice but does the Eddie dance to escape. No literally, that’s what he does. The sitout bulldog puts Nitro down but Mercury makes a diving save to stop the tag. Mercury tries to speed things up but he has to avoid both guys, meaning he gets caught in an enziguri to put him down. Rey is put on the top but comes off with a headscissors to Nitro, allowing for the hot tag to Big Dave. A 619 takes out Melina and Nitro and the Batista Bomb to Mercury changes the titles.

Rating: C+. This was all to set up something for the PPV. The Mexicools had won a tag battle royal to get a shot at MNM at the PPV while Rey/Batista are scheduled to face Big Show/Kane, who are the Raw tag champions at the moment. This kind of messes that up but it gave us champions vs. champions instead, which was non title for no apparent reason. Still though, decent match here and a good way to kill 20 minutes.

We get a clip from Armageddon 2000 with Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the Cell.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Burchill

Lashley is relatively new at this point. Regal is Burchill’s manager here and has to help him up when Lashley throws him to the floor. Back inside and Lashley fires off shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Dominator ends this quick.

Matt Hardy is talking about Booker T, who he faces later, and Booker’s series with Benoit when JBL pops up to insult him. JBL tells him to post the praise on his website. A fight breaks out and that’s your match for Sunday. Yep it was that fast.

Teddy Long talks to the psychiatrist but the doc can’t tell him anything. These segments aren’t leading anywhere meaningful are they?

Orton congratulates the new tag champions in the back. He wishes Batista could find out who the best man was but they’ll never know now for some reason.

The Undertaker threw Mankind off the Cell too.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

JBL is on commentary while on crutches due to an injury I don’t remember. Booker is currently up 3-0 in the series with Benoit so Sharmell brings out a broom. We join this after a break with Booker in control. Matt makes a quick comeback and knocks Booker to the floor, followed by a plancha over the top. Matt has to stop to yell at JBL, allowing Booker to ram Hardy’s head into the steps.

This is just after Edge sent Matt to Raw after stealing Lita away. That was supposed to be the big push Matt to the main event but it never quite got there. Anyway Booker hooks a chinlock as JBL lists off his accomplishments in the real world. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to put both guys down.

A bulldog gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a spinebuster for no cover. Scissors kick misses and there’s another Side Effect to put both guys down again. Matt hits a top rope legdrop for two and here’s Sharmell on the apron. The distraction lets JBL kill Matt with a Clothesline and Booker hits the scissors kick for the cheap pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but I guess it set up the match on Sunday a bit better. When a former world champion and a guy who is supposed to be heading up to the top like Matt only get a match set up two days in advance, you can pretty much tell things aren’t going all that well for them at the moment.

Bob Orton makes sure Randy is sure about his decision.

Here’s Orton to close the show with his big announcement. Orton brags about everything he’s done which I’m sure most of you can recite by heart. He’s the legend killer, but no one can kill the legend of the Undertaker. This is Armageddon Randy, not Wrestlemania. He’s beatable. Taker won’t brutalize him in the Cell, because Orton is retiring here tonight. Yep, that’s the big reveleation.

Randy says he’s going to kill his own legend before Undertaker can, which draws out Teddy. If Orton doesn’t show up, Teddy will sue him for breach of contract. It could be worse: Teddy could dance for him. Orton says cool with him as it’s better than being in the Cell. He goes to leave but the lights go out and we’ve got druids. They back Orton into the ring and here’s Taker. One druid is standing alone and it’s Bob Orton. The distraction lets Randy kick Undertaker low and beat on him with a chair for a bit. Taker is busted open and Orton wipes the blood on his chest. An urn shot to Taker’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was acceptable I guess but at the same time it didn’t work to make me want to see the PPV. The entire show is about Orton vs. Taker and while the PPV wound up being very good, the build for it didn’t work at all as a lot of the matches are being thrown together here tonight. It’s a one match show and while the build for it was ok, the stuff tonight didn’t do anything for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show.  My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own.  He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight.  LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is legit.  From what I can find he might have had a seizure and vomited.  It happened right at about ten PM EST and he was carried away during the Prime Time Players vs. Kane/Bryan.  I’ll let you know whenever I find out anything else.

 

Update #3: Meltzer says it was a heart attack.  Jerry isn’t out of the woods yet but he’s more stable.

 

 

Update #2: Cole said that Lawler’s heart was beating on his own and that he was breathing on his own.  His condition is stablizing apparently which is a good sign.  More to come later I’m sure.

 

Update: Lawler has been taken to a hospital and is breathing on his own.  He’s responding to lights in his eyes and is awake to an extent.  I’ll update this with anything else I hear.

No Surrender 2012
Date: September 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re back in Orlando for a PPV and it’s a month before the biggest show of the year in Phoenix with Bound for Glory. Since we’re a month away from it we need a main event. That’s where tonight comes in as the BFG Series ends tonight with the final four being Joe, Hardy, Bully Ray and Storm. It really could be any of those four which is what makes this a fun show. The rest of the card doesn’t really matter other than Aries vs. a member of Aces and 8’s. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: all about the BFG Series. I think the song is that Taproot one they’ve been playing on Impact every week.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

The points are no longer a factor as this is winner advances and loser is done. Jeff grabs a headlock to start but Joe shrugs him off with ease. Hardy is sent to the floor and holds his arm as things slow down almost immediately. Back in and Jeff hits a quick headscissors to send Joe to the floor but the fat man is just getting mad now. Hardy hits a running attack on the floor but back inside the fat power man offense runs over Hardy with the backsplash getting two.

Joe puts on a nerve hold and an elbow to take Hardy down when Jeff tries a comeback. As always, Hardy looks like he’s dead. Off to a chinlock followed by the snap powerslam for no cover by Joe. Hardy is sent to the floor and taken out by a suicide elbow as Joe continues to dominate. Back in and Hardy gets punched in the corner a few times before starting his comeback. The legdrop between the legs sets up a clothesline to put both guys down.

The low dropkick gets two for Hardy but the Twist of Fate is countered. Whisper in the Wind gets two but Joe gets up first. Joe is still having issues with his arm from Thursday so he can’t hit the MuscleBuster. Hardy grabs a Twist of Fate out of nowhere but Joe crotches him before the Swanton can be launched. A sunset flip gets two for Hardy and it’s back to the armbar that he won the match with on Thursday. Joe counters into a rollup but Jeff counters into a crucifix for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B-. Good opener here with a pretty good ending. Joe trying to counter the submission into a pin which was against his nature and being countered was a nice idea, but the arm stuff didn’t quite get brought in until the end. This was a surprise though and it was a better match than they had three days ago so no complaints here.

Storm says he’ll right the wrong of last year and beat Bully Ray.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Ray stalls to start and heads to the floor to beat up a sign. After two minutes of stalling, Ray slaps Storm in the chest and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Storm goes after him and Ray heads to the floor again, tripping a bit on his way down. We’re four minutes into this so far and they’ve barely touched each other. Back in and Ray takes it to the corner but Storm has had enough and pounds the Bully repeatedly in the head.

Storm pounds away some more but the Last Call misses and Ray hits him in the leg to take over. Ray throws on a bearhug which is quickly broken but a big boot takes Storm’s head off for two. Ray gets in Hebner’s face but is shoved away in the signature Earl bit. Instead, Bully splashes Storm in the corner and pounds him down some more from the middle rope. Storm crotches him and a powerbomb gets two.

They slug it out from their knees and Ray misses a charge in the corner. A top rope cross body gets two for Storm as does a sidewalk slam for Ray. Storm charges into the referee and walks into the Bubba Bomb for two from a new referee. Ray misses the middle rope backsplash (duh) and Storm fires a forearm, taking out referee #2. Last Call hits but there’s no referee. Bobby Roode comes out with a beer bottle to Storm’s head and Ray gets the pin to advance at 14:08.

Rating: C+. This was a different kind of a match and not everyone is going to like it. This was based on entertainment rather than wrestling with Ray hiding every chance he could get. The problem with matches like this one is there’s limited action and a lot of standing around. It’s entertaining but not necessarily good if that makes sense.

Tessmacher says exactly what you would expect her to say.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tara is her mentor and beat the champ on Impact a few weeks ago and that’s it. They fight over the arm to start with Tara controlling with a top wristlock. Tara keeps taking over with power and outmaneuvering Tessmacher. A backslide gets two for the challenger but Tessmacher tries a rolling cradle, only to get tangled in the ropes. As they come back in Tara gets two off a rollup and the champ grabs the arm to take over.

Tara finally slaps her to start the brawl with Tessmacher taking over. A cradle sends Tara into the mat and things speed up. Tara’s spinning side slam gets two as does the floatover suplex that got Tara the pin on Impact a few weeks back. Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup for the pin by Tessmacher to retain at 6:39.

Rating: C-. For a Knockouts match this wasn’t bad but man alive no one cared at all. Granted there was a one night build to this match so it’s not like anyone had any reason to care. Tessmacher hit a wall with the Earl Hebner storyline and losing the title for a few days. It didn’t help anyone and it stopped Tess’ momentum cold.

Hogan tells Roode that he’s arrested when Storm comes up and beats Roode up. Storm is thrown out too.

We recap Aces and 8’s vs. Aries and the breaking of the world champion’s arm. Tonight it’s the first real match for the group as Aries gets to fight the armbreaker. There was a torture session involved as well.

Austin Aries vs. Arm Breaker

This is non-title of course and Aries is in workout clothes instead of trunks. Before the match, Aries talks about this being a war which is fine with him, because Aries is the God of War. Aries calls out the big man but he won’t let the masked man in. He does the HBK laying on the top rope to sucker the Arm Breaker in. The champ pounds the guy down and hits the suicide dive.

Back inside Aries pounds away some more but gets crotched to give the Arm Breaker the advantage. The Arm Breaker keeps pounding away and takes over even more on the champ. This isn’t a match mind you as there’s no referee and the bell never rang. A clothesline spins Aries around and the Arm Breaker loads up a powerbomb but Aries throws powder in his face. A dropkick sends the Arm Breaker to the floor and Aries dives out onto him.

The Arm Breaker gets in a shot and grabs a chair, but back in the ring Aries hits him with a roll of coins and the brainbuster. Aries goes for the mask but here comes the gang. The locker room empties out and it’s a big brawl. In case you care, the fight ran just under ten minutes or so.

Aces and 8’s get run off and Hogan comes out. He gets in the ring with the ball bat and Hardy is down on the floor for some reason. Apparently he’s hurt his shoulder. Hogan tells the security to lock the place down as Hardy is taken to the back. Ray seemed to come out a bit later than everyone else so maybe he’s the lead suspect now. We get a clip from the brawl of Hardy having his shoulder rammed into the post by a masked guy.

They actually try to give us a package on Dutt vs. Ion. That’s just amusing. In short, there is no story as this match was added on to fill in time on the card.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

Ion is defending. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking over. Taz praises him and they head to the floor with Sonjay hitting a slick roll across the apron into a rana on the floor. Back in and Ion takes over with some basic stuff and puts on a chinlock. We cut to the back where cops are coming to lock down the building. Sonjay makes his comeback with a headscissors and then another. He goes up but gets stopped by Zema, only for the champ to get release suplexed out to the floor.

A middle rope moonsault to the outside puts the champ down and back inside Sonjay gets two. Ion counters a rana into a powerbomb on the bad arm Sonjay came in with and it’s Rings of Saturn time. Dutt makes the rope and takes the champ down again, only to miss the moonsault into the double stomp. We get a pinfall reversal sequence resulting in a backslide into a Gory Bomb from Ion to retain at 11:38.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was dead on arrival all around after the segment before it. Having the match thrown onto the card did it no favors either as there was no story to it at all and no reason to believe the champ was ever in any danger. This just didn’t do anything for me at all but the match was fine technically.

BFG video.

Hogan talks to the cops about the lockdown.

Hardy is getting his shoulder looked at. Magnus pops up and says Hardy is suffering from a lack of common sense.

Rob Van Dam vs. Magnus

Another thrown on match but at least this has a story behind it: Magnus got in RVD’s business at a promo on Impact and the match was made as a result. Simple but it works I guess. Magnus plays the cowardly heel to start and they go to the mat with Van Dam sitting out on Magnus to frustrate him again. Some kicks knock Magnus to the floor The spinning kick to the back while Magnus is on the barricade misses and the knee hits the steel.

Back in and Magnus takes over by stomping away like a British heel. A Texas Cloverleaf keeps RVD down even longer as Magnus stays on the leg. A sleeper is quickly broken by Rob and a spinwheel kick puts Magnus down. Van Dam speeds things up and goes after Magnus’ knee before hitting Rolling Thunder for two. Magnus gets in a shot to take over but spends too much time on top, allowing Van Dam to take over again. Rob tries the monkey flip out of the corner but Magnus kills him dead with a clothesline for two. Not that it really matters as Van Dan kicks him down and hits the Five Star for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: C. The match was ok but why in the world does Rob need to win here? The guy is a legit main eventer and it looked like Magnus was going to become a big deal. Instead he’s jobbing here in about ten minutes on PPV. What’s the point in the mini push like that then when a guy like RVD gets the win he doesn’t need?

Kaz and Daniels say they should have called the cops because of the injustice they’ve gone through.

We get a recap of the whole Daniels/Kaz vs. Angle/Styles. This is just the last few weeks because the whole thing would be longer than the whole PPV tonight.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian

Angle is legit hurt so we’re looking at more of a handicap match here. Daniels (one of the champions) starts with Angle so maybe he’s not that badly hurt. Daniels pounds him into the corner and the announcers talk about how Angle is hurt. Angle and AJ ping pong Daniels between the two of them and it’s off to Styles. That goes nowhere so Angle comes back in and helps launch Kaz into the air before Kurt comes in legally.

Kurt goes after Daniels and tags AJ back in before the champs take over for the first time in the match so far. Since this is a TNA PPV, we get Daniels vs. AJ for awhile with the former in control. Kaz puts on a double arm chinlock but AJ comes back with right hands. A clothesline gets two for Kaz and it’s back to Daniels for a chinlock.

AJ fights out and makes the hot tag to Angle who cleans house as only he can. Well ok so a lot of people probably could but he does it quite well. It’s suplexes all around, including the Rolling Germans to Kaz. Kurt turns his attention to Daniels and after suplexing him down, Angle turns around into a slingshot DDT from Kaz to give the champions control. A slingshot elbow from Daniels and a slingshot legdrop from Kaz get two and it’s cravate time from Kaz.

Kaz goes up but Angle runs the ropes and hits a freaky kind of Olympic Slam off the top to put both guys down. Hot tag #2 brings in AJ who beats on Daniels after the champions tag as well. The moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two but Kaz hits a big dropkick to send AJ into the corner. Angle tags himself in again and hits a top rope splash to Daniels for two. It’s Angle Slams for both guys but the cover on Daniels only gets two. Ankle lock to Daniels is broken up by an enziguri from Kaz and AJ tags himself in again.

The springboard forearm takes Daniels down and a Pele gets two on Kaz. Now this is cranking up again. The springboard 450 gets a VERY close two on Kaz so AJ goes up. Kaz follows him up for a top rope C4 (backflip Rock Bottom) for another close two. Angle and Daniels go to the floor with Angle grabbing his injured areas. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels throws the appletini in his face so Kaz can roll him up for the pin to retain at 19:37.

Rating: B+. Yep this was great again. This wasn’t quite as good as the Slammiversary match because it took awhile to get going, but it was still excellent stuff. I don’t think anyone thought the titles were changing here and that really didn’t mean a thing at all. These four just work together and you can’t argue that at all.

We recap the events of the main event stuff earlier tonight.

Hogan gives the cops another lecture.

There’s no update on Hardy.

Ray says he would have beaten Hardy anyway so this doesn’t mean much. You have to respect him and he’s reinvented himself. Jeff is on the tracks and Ray is the locomotive. Everyone may be bound for glory, but he’s destined for greatness. Great promo here.

Cops surround the ring.

Bound For Glory Series Finals: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy’s music hits and Hogan comes out instead. Hogan implies Ray is behind Aces and 8’s but Ray denies it. Ray says if Hardy can’t go, what option is there other than for Ray to win by forefit? Hogan says that the ball is in the GM’s court and asks for four more days for this match to happen on Impact, drawing more booing than in his entire time in Immortal. Ray isn’t cool with that but here’s Hardy anyway so it doesn’t matter. Predictable, but that’s fine in this case as it is in a lot of cases but that’s an argument for another time.

Hardy has one arm so he’s wrestling very tentatively. He tries as well as he can to drive Ray into the corner but Jeff gets knocked to the floor where he holds the arm even more. As he comes back in, Ray pounds away on the bad arm and Jeff bails to the floor again. Ray slams Hardy down and puts on an armbar as Hardy is reeling. Jeff can barely defend himself here. Ray misses a splash and Jeff hits the mule kick. Twisting Stunner sets up the Swanton but it only gets two. That might be Jeff’s one chance.

Ray hits Jeff in the shoulder and the Bubba Bomb gets two. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets two and both guys are down. Another Whisper attempt misses and the Bubba Cutter….only gets two. Another Twisting Stunner hits but the Swanton misses. The second Bubba Cutter only gets two again and the crowd isn’t popping for these kickouts now. Twisting Stunner #3 and #4 hit back to back but he gets crotched going up. Scratch that as he knocks Ray off and hits the Swanton for the pin and the BFG main event spot at 12:42.

Rating: B-. The last five minutes of this were pretty absurd with the repeating finishers and the fans didn’t get into it for the most part. I also hate the ending as Ray has done some of the best stuff of his life tonight but Jeff gets the win anyway. I’m not wild on this and the match wasn’t all that good. Anyway, Hardy vs. Aries will be pretty awesome, but I was hoping Ray won here as he’s earned it this past year.

No Aces and 8’s.

Overall Rating: B. The show here comes down to the idea that the good stuff was good but the dull stuff was dull. Nothing was really bad here but the middle part of the show was painfully boring for the most part. The BFG Series stuff was great here and tonight may be seen as the night where Ray rose to the next level in his career….until they had Hardy win the main event. Aces and 8’s is clearly going to be blown off at the next PPV which is fine, but I’m not sure how. Still though, this was a good show overall but not a masterpiece, about what everyone expected.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Crucifix

Bully Ray b. James Storm – Pin after Bobby Roode hit Storm with a beer bottle

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Sunset flip

Zema Ion b. Sonjay Dutt – Gory Bomb

Rob Van Dam b. Magnus – Five Star Frog Splash

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. AJ Styles/Kurt Angle – Kazarian pinned Styles after Daniels threw a drink in Styles’ face

Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Swanton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

You know I was trying to think of some background to this show and it occurs to me that nothing really happened in 2005. There was One Night Stand and that’s about it. This is a Smackdown show with the main event being Taker vs. Orton inside the Cell. Other than that, there really isn’t much. Batista is world champion and a tag team champion with Rey but he’s in a non-title match. Weird. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about Taker vs. Orton and how this is the beginning of the end for Orton.

 

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is one of the issues with watching these older shows: I don’t remember this feud at all. Apparently JBL interrupted an interview and Matt made fun of him for leaving a lot of tag partners, allegedly out of fear. Jillian Hall is with JBL and looks awesome in a white pantsuit. This was during the I WILL NOT DIE phase for Matt for which JBL bashes him for. The man could talk when he got on a roll and he does here.

 

Matt comes in through the crowd and the fight is on. He hammers on JBL on the floor and rams him into the apron a few times, but gets his head caught in the ropes as he comes back in which chokes him badly. JBL, ever the nice guy, kicks him in the head while he’s caught in the hold. Big clothesline on the floor puts Matt down again.

 

Back in the ring he drops a bunch of elbows on Matt and by a bunch I mean like 8 of them but doesn’t cover. And people wonder why he lost the belt. Matt grabs a DDT (called a swinging neckbreaker by the idiot known as Michael Cole) for a quick two. When Tazz has to correct you, it’s saying a lot. A shoulder block by JBL gives him the advantage again and pounds away even more.

 

He sets for a belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off and gets a moonsault press for two. Thankfully Matt hit it or we would have had an earthquake in Rhode Island. Bradshaw gets the buckle cover off and whips Matt into it. The big clothesline ends it a few seconds afterwards.

 

Rating: C. Nothing special here and I have no idea why JBL who was world champion for most of the previous year is opening a very low level PPV against a career midcarder but like I said, it was a weird year. Just a semi-squash here that was pretty pointless overall, especially since it was only put on the card two days prior to this.

 

We get a clip of Melina screwing Batista to try to convince him to not kill MNM on Friday. Naturally Batista got done screwing her and killed them anyway, winning the tag titles in the process. Dang Melina needs the blonde highlights back.

 

The Mexicools will cancel their match with MNM tonight if Melina will screw them. She declines.

 

Clip of a past HIAC match, in this case Foley going for a little ride. Then another ride. That first one is one of those things where it still blows my mind that he even lived.

 

MNM vs. Mexicools

 

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

 

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

 

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

 

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

 

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

 

JBL is giving an interview to WWE.com.

 

Booker is asked about his fourth match in the best of seven series for the US Title. He’s up 3-0 at the moment but Sharmell doesn’t want him to talk about it. Booker says he’ll win and then Sharmell insults the hotter Krystal.

 

We recap Booker vs. Benoit. Booker turned heel to cheat and win the title and Benoit got a rematch, only for there to be a double pin. This results in a Best of Seven series like they did in WCW but that might have been a best of five. I don’t think it was though. Booker won the first three but only one clean.

 

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

 

If Booker wins he’s champion but if Benoit wins the series continues. Technically this is a title match I guess. Sharmell has a broom with her for the sweep thing. Long feeling out process to start. Heel kick misses for Booker and here comes Benoit, sending Booker to the floor with a chop. They go to the mat and just guess who wins there. Crowd is totally behind Benoit.

 

Booker gets a hammerlock to take Benoit down but gets reversed into a Crossface attempt. Booker makes the rope though and clears his head on the floor. Back in a Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Benoit just works on the leg like only he can. Benoit knows what he’s doing to keep the crowd into it as he changes up the holds he’s using. That’s so helpful because it keeps things from getting dull.

 

Booker rakes the eyes to escape and hammers away in the corner. Benoit fires off some chops and snaps off a German for two. A knee sends Benoit to the floor and they chop it out until Benoit gets rammed into the post. Off to an abdominal stretch in the ring by Booker. Benoit escapes and a double clothesline gives both guys a rest. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two.

 

Benoit unleashes some awesome suplexes and we get Three Amigos, a month after Eddie passed away. That gets a nice reaction from the crowd as well as a two count. Time for Rolling Germans and he goes up for the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s interference stops it. They botch a move out of the corner but to be fair it was next to impossible. Booker was setting for a superplex but Benoit tried to jump over into a German suplex off the ropes. He slipped off but again, not exactly an easy spot.

 

Booker gets a missile dropkick for a long two and everyone is shocked. Crowd is into this one. Benoit chops away but walks into a superkick. Sharmell gets a low blow and the axe kick hits, but only for two. ERUPTION for that kickout. Bookend is countered into the Crossface in the middle of the ring but somehow Booker crawls to the rope. More rolling Germans and Booker is just done. Swan Dive hits but SOMEHOW Booker gets out. This is great stuff.

 

Booker tries a left hand for some reason but gets caught in a Crossface attempt. They hit the mat and the referee goes down. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and Booker taps but there’s no referee. Sharmell hits him with the broom and Benoit doesn’t even blink. Booker gets up to try another Bookend but Benoit gets a DDT to counter and Booker taps to make it 3-1 in a great match.

 

Rating: A-. Just a great match here as Booker went all out to try to beat Benoit but the back against the wall aspect was enough for Benoit to survive. Booker was DONE at the end and looked like he fell out of a building. The only thing really holding this back was that it didn’t end the series. Booker would win the series but Orton would be a sub for him for the next two matches and would ultimately win the title for him in match 7.

 

MNM is on WWE.com.

 

Another Cell moment is Rikishi being thrown off.

 

Here’s Teddy with network executive Palmer Cannon. Teddy thanks the fans for helping Smackdown win at Survivor Series. That’s all he has to say but Cannon, the epitome of useless, brings out Santa Claus with his elf. And it’s Vito and Nunzio. Well at least Nunzio, who is handing out coal. Yep it’s Vito.

 

He runs down the crowd and says they’re tired of giving. Instead, they think they should get title shots for Christmas. And cue Boogeyman. After the slowest walk this side of Taker, he gets in the ring and “sings” a Christmas song about beating them up, which he then does. Why couldn’t we get more Booker vs. Benoit instead of this? He leaves Vito and a bunch of worms in the ring, which of course we have to keep zooming in on.

 

We get a clip from No Mercy where Orton channeled his inner 7ft bald dude and put Taker in a casket which he then lit on fire. Orton then got “haunted” by Taker. It’s as goofy as it sounds too. Of course we saw all of the images in Orton’s head because that’s how WWE rolls. This turns into a full recap video for Taker vs. Orton, which would be due to clear the ring I guess. Basically Orton realized he did too much so he tried to get out of the match by retiring but Randy’s dad got involved and that was enough for Randy I guess to keep going.

 

The Ortons say they’re not worried because Randy is the master of mind games.

 

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

 

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

 

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

 

We throw it to Josh Matthews at the FRIENDLY TAP! Oh no. Oh not this. The owner is former referee Tim White and he’s not happy. He keeps drinking and drinking until Josh talks about the last match White refereed which was inside the Cell with HHH vs. Jericho. We get a clip of said match where White got hurt, ending his refereeing career.

 

White is still drinking and won’t say anything. He finally says that the Cell ruined his life and everyone left him. He took his pain out on everyone he cared about. He mentions his medical problems and starts crying. Then he pulls out a rifle and staggers off camera where a gunshot is heard. This is exactly what it sounds like.

 

In January it was announced that he had somehow missed and shot himself in the foot. Less than three months after Eddie died, WWE had a series of videos up on WWE.com called Lunchtime Suicides. Every week, White would try to kill himself in a different way. He failed each time, ultimately shooting Josh Matthews, who was something of a host for these videos. I kid you not: this actually happened.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

 

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

 

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

 

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

 

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

 

Lashley is on the website now.

 

Ad for the Rumble, which was the really weird Roman theme. No idea why they went with that but then again Mania never made a lot of sense with its ad campaigns.

 

We recap Kane/Big Show vs. Mysterio/Batista. They’re each show’s respective tag champions and this is supposed to be some big epic clash. A lot of this stemmed from Survivor Series and the fallout from the whole brand split war. Batista is world heavyweight champion and more or less unstoppable. He and Mysterio won the titles two days before this. Naturally it’s a non title match.

 

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Rey has 619 cut into his beard. Batista vs. Show to start us off. Show throws him around a bit so Big Dave fires off right hands. Something resembling a shoulder block takes Show down but he gets up and hits what could be called a superkick that was pretty awesome all things considered. Off to Kane who Batista can work with a bit better. Sidewalk slam puts the Animal down and Kane goes up. He channels his inner Flair though and gets slammed down.

 

Off to Rey who stomps away and this a standing moonsault for one. Kane no sells some kicks so Rey tries to hit and run. A middle rope axehandle staggers Kane and Rey gets a springboard dropkick to send him to the floor. Batista takes his head off with a clothesline and Rey loads up the 619, only for Show to make the save. He rams Rey’s back (somewhat injured coming in) into the post.

 

Back in the ring and Show chops away at Rey. That sound makes me cringe. Kane comes in and Rey is able to get some shots in to set up the sitout bulldog. Show knocks Batista off the apron though to break up the tag. Batista pops back in and everything breaks down. Big Dave takes down the monsters and hits a spinebuster on Kane. Show and Batista fight to the floor and Rey hits the 619, only for Kane to catch the West Coast Pop and chokeslam Rey into dust to end it.

 

Rating: C. That’s it? This could have been the main event of any given Raw or Smackdown and there was nothing interesting going on for the most part. It’s not bad or anything, but there’s no appeal hear at all. The lack of anything being on the line really hurts this because in short, this changes nothing. MNM would get the titles back by the end of the year, making this whole title reign pretty pointless.

 

Video on Tribute to the Troops or whatever they’re calling it this year, which is the next night.

 

Another Cell moment is Shawn’s destruction by Taker. Still the best one ever.

 

The Cell is lowered.

 

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

 

This is the final blowoff from the Mania match. Taker of course won there, Orton won at Summerslam and this is the rubber match. Orton has his papa and Taker’s urn with him. Orton tries to run to start and Taker tries to close in on him. Taker gets a shoulder block and Orton heads to the floor. We get a headlock inside the Cell. Orton gets a hip toss and dropkick but can’t keep Taker down.

 

Taker hammers away and we go to the floor. He tries to harpoon Orton into the Cell but Orton escapes and takes over back inside the ring. Taker is like boy no you didn’t and grabs him by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Taker hammers away as they have a ton of time so the slow start is fine. Orton’s ribs go into the post and Taker keeps up the attack on the floor, mainly working on the ribs and chest.

 

The Deadman finds a chair and cracks Orton over the head with it. Orton is busted so Taker keeps pounding him with the chair. Taker rakes his face across the cage as Cole makes the cheese grater comparison. Orton finds a chain somewhere but gets his head rammed into the steps before he can use it. It’s so weird to see Cole as a face. Taker gets the chain and chokes away at Orton who is back in the ring now.

 

This time Taker is able to get the harpoon thing, sending Orton’s face into the cage. He gets the steps but Orton fights back out of desperation. There’s blood on one of the posts. Orton tries to get the steps but Taker kicks them back into his face. Back into the ring and there’s a chair in there. Orton grabs an “RKO” across the top rope but it’s more like just clotheslining him onto it. Close enough though.

 

It sent Taker to the floor into the cage though and Orton finally takes over. This time the steps show works. Now Orton gets to rake Taker’s face into the cage in a nice bit of evilness from earlier. Taker is busted open now and Orton chokes away with the chain. Big chair shot puts Taker down for two. Taker gets up again though and hammers away on the floor, firing off headbutts.

 

I love that look Taker gets on his face when he’s losing blood and he’s staggering around. Taker gets a running charge and climbs up the steps, hitting more or less a flying hip attack into Orton against the cage. Back in the ring now and Taker walks the ropes, only to miss an elbow. He must be fired up tonight to bust out moves like that. Orton grabs a table and sends Taker to the floor via a boot. Bob grabs Taker’s hair through the cage to hold him in place next to the wall.

 

Taker is like oh no you didn’t and rams Bob into the cage via a small hole in it. Taker drills Randy as Bob is bleeding (BIG issue here as Bob has Hepatitis, which is a disease transmitted by blood). Orton gets something resembling a powerslam to ram Taker into the Cell. Apparently you can pin people on the floor now as Randy gets two. Back in the ring and Taker gets his jumping clothesline for two. Old School hits this time, followed by a Downward Spiral.

 

Taker is getting all ticked off now and hits the Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo. Leg drop gets two. Chokeslam gets two due to a foot on the ropes. Taker gets a running knee in the corner but misses a running boot. Orton hits a low blow with the chain. He sets up the table brought in earlier and hits a splash mostly through it. That gets two as the table is thrown to the floor.

 

Orton, ever the genius, goes up for ten punches in the corner. DOES NO ONE WATCH TAPE OF TAKER MATCHES??? He deserves the Last Ride but gets out of it and Taker punches the referee by mistake. RKO out of nowhere but there’s no referee. Another referee opens the door to count and Bob comes in to get on our nerves. There’s the Last Ride to Randy but Bob makes the save.

 

Taker beats up Bob and rams him into the cage. Taker loads up the Tombstone on Randy which is reversed into one by Orton. Seriously, the guy never learns. That gets two and Taker sits up and is MAD. Orton keeps knocking him down and Taker keeps sitting up. After a bunch of punches Taker can’t sit up. He’s playing possum though and grabs Randy by the throat. Bob comes in again with the urn but Taker gets it, clocks both Ortons with it and a pair of Tombstones ends this.

 

Rating: A-. Now this is what the Cell is supposed to be. They beat the tar out of each other and this felt like a war. Taker going all insane and beating everyone down at the end as Orton just couldn’t stop him was perfect and showed that Taker is just better, which is the point of the final match of a feud. Well done and you NEVER get a decisive ending to a feud like this anymore, or at most maybe once a year.

 

Taker climbs the Cell to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from? With two great matches in the main event and Benoit vs. Booker plus a nice surprise in the tag match earlier in the show and the worst match being a three and a half minute squash, how can you really complain? I liked this and it worked rather well. Good show and worth checking out actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested for some reason that I can’t remember. It’s the first show after the Draft and Flair is officially in charge. I’m assuming that’s the reason, but why anyone would want to see a show from 2002 is beyond me. Anyway, the main thing tonight is finding out where Austin is signing, and considering that pretty much EVERY face of value is on Smackdown, the answer shouldn’t be that hard. Let’s get to it.

If you’re interested in seeing how this show was set up via the Draft, here’s the review of it:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

We open with Flair in the back holding the Undisputed World Title. He says this is the beginning of a new era and he’s going to do everything he can to ensure Austin signs with Raw. Also he’s going to present the new title belt to HHH.

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Booker gets in a shot to the ribs but the ax kick misses. Rolling Thunder misses as well and there’s the Spinarooni and a side kick for two. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner gets two and a superkick puts Van Dam down. Booker loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and the Five Star retains the title. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C-. This was pedestrian to put it best. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it felt like they were just a step ahead of going through the motions out there. It’s not a bad match or anything like that, but even for a TV match this wasn’t that good. The ending didn’t help anything either.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

Here’s Vince because he was gone from Raw for over six days and that’s too long. He’s here to pitch to Austin about coming to Smackdown. Security comes out but Vince won’t leave, so here’s Flair. Vince says money will talk with Austin so Flair throws Vince out. Vince won’t leave, so Flair says he’ll get Austin to come to Raw and we get a poll from the audience. Vince still won’t leave so Big Show comes out and carries him to the back. This accomplished nothing other than wasting about five minutes.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal is doing the brass knuckles thing at this point and slips them into a turnbuckle. Nick Patrick steals them back when Regal isn’t looking, so I’d bet on a fishy ending. Regal pounds Spike down with ease and beats him up for a bit with Spike trying to use speed where he can. A half nelson suplex sends Spike to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in Regal goes for the knuckles but can’t find them. Spike hits the Dudley Dog out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as no one cared about the European Title at this point. Not that the title was on the line, but it set up a rematch for the belt next week which Spike would win before dropping it back to Regal a month later. The title would be gone in July so it’s not like this mattered for the most part. Nothing match either.

The NWO goes to what used to be the APA’s office and take it over. Keep in mind that the APA broke up on Smackdown and left their office in disarray and it’s in the same kind of disarray here on Raw, even with the cards on the floor.

Crash tells Bradshaw what just happened and he’s not pleased. Jackie leaves with Bradshaw and no one cares.

Trish is getting ready by bending over when Terri comes in. Trish is on the cover of the Divas magazine and Terri isn’t happy. Flair comes in and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra is outside Austin’s locker room and says Austin will decide tonight.

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Ray gets two off a Samoan Drop but Raven sprays him with a fire extinguisher while Bubba is loading up the backsplash. Ray doesn’t get down though and after a trashcan lid shot to Raven, the backsplash ACTUALLY HITS but only gets two. Not that it matters as the Bubba Bomb gets Bubba the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Vince is on the phone in his limo. He says he’s not leaving and he’s signing Austin tonight.

Here’s Flair with the Undisputed Title to present to HHH. Flair talks about how important the title is and asks HHH to come out here but instead it’s Undertaker. He doesn’t like what’s going on here because Flair is insulting him by doing this. Taker says he should be champion because he beat Flair at Mania. Uh…ok. The fans give him the WHAT chant so Taker says to say what if you like to sleep with your own sister. Audience: WHAT! Note to self: don’t go to Albany to pick up women.

Oh wait there’s another reason Taker should be champion: he beat HHH at Mania, a year ago to the day actually. Taker thinks that’s showing him up and disrespecting him. The big man takes off the coat but here’s HHH. I’ve always liked the Undisputed Title but the big eagle one, as in the Attitude Era title and the Big Gold Belt are just perfect looking.

HHH says he’s the champion and that Taker can’t beat him again. Taker asks for a title match at Backlash and HHH says it’s on. HHH wants to fight now but Taker bails. The match would never happen because Smackdown got the first title match on PPV. Obviously that begs the question of why this segment took place, and the obvious answer is it’s 2002 Raw.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

That’s quite the heel team. The Hardys’ music sounds faster here. Apparently it’s just Boss Man now. Jeff is sent to the floor and the two dead guys double team the brothers. Boss Man and Matt start with the Hardy in trouble. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and starts drooling. Off to Jeff and the Hardys botch a double team move on Boss Man. To say this isn’t clicking is an understatement. A spinebuster from Boss Man gets two on Jeff as Matt saves. Perfect is sent to the floor and the Twist/Swanton pins Boss Man.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Hardys match I can remember in years. They just weren’t clicking at all out there and the match was a total mess. It’s hard to suggest that Perfect and Boss Man were the problem as they aren’t known to be sloppy. Nothing to see here at all and the match basically sucked.

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole. They’re in bikinis and I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Trish wins in like 80 seconds. Nothing of note happened in between.

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Vince still can’t get back inside.

Austin wants Flair to let Vince in the building so he can hear Vince’s pitch.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock, Hogan and Kane getting ready for a six man. Kane: “Rock are you ready tonight?” Rock: “Well…” Kane: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE READY!” Rock’s reaction is priceless, as is his reaction when Kane calls his fans Kannanites.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Pac attacks in the corner but Kane slams him down with ease. A gorilla press has X-Pac bouncing off the mat but he comes back with an enziguri to take Kane down to his knees. A sidewalk slam from Kane looks to set up a top rope clothesline but a distraction from Hall stops the big man. We head to the floor so the NWO can double and triple team Kane which somehow doesn’t get noticed by the referee.

Back in and Kane launches X-Pac through the ropes on a kickout, which is the problem with X-Pac wrestling guys Kane’s size: it’s almost ridiculous to think the offense is going to work. A missile dropkick puts Kane down and with Hall’s help, the Bronco Buster hits. Kane powerslams Pac down after shrugging off the offense and hits the top rope clothesline. Not that it matters as the NWO runs in for the DQ before the chokeslam hits.

Rating: D+. I know the guy is talented, but man alive I’m not a fan of X-Pac against bigger guys. This just didn’t work at all, just like their matches in 1999, as it’s hard to buy X-Pac as a physical threat to Kane when Rock can barely knock the guy down. Nothing to see here and the NWO never went anywhere on Raw.

Bradshaw makes the save post match. Kane’s pyro takes like 15 seconds to go off for some reason.

Vince is back inside.

Here’s Flair with a contract to offer Austin. Vince comes out with a contract of his own and I don’t see this being much of interest. Vince talks about his intellectual sperm inventing pro wrestling (I kid you not he actually said that) and talks about inventing Pay Per View 16 years ago (it was 17 when their first PPV aired but whatever). Austin finally comes out to shut Vince up.

Vince immediately sucks up to Austin by praising the new WHAT shirt. Austin doesn’t care but asks about Vince’s contract. We get the WHAT stuff for a bit when it was still relatively new. Austin reminds Vince of all the issues they’ve had in the past and asks Flair if Flair wants Austin to come to Raw. After doing his best Daniel Bryan impression and saying YES about ten times, Flair gets nowhere. Both offers intrigue Austin but he agrees to sign with Vince. Vince gloats but Austin reminds him that it’s April Fool’s Day and there’s a Stunner for Vince. Austin and Flair drink, Flair gets stunned, Austin signs with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Read those last two paragraphs. That took almost thirteen minutes to get through. That sums up this whole show: a lot of time being wasted with almost nothing at all being accomplished. Raw in 2002 was nothing but a nightmare with Austin being the only top face on the show and he was a shell of his former self. The Brand Split took a long time to work and it never got to a point where it was great at all. Terrible show here with short and bad matches and an ending that doesn’t mean much of anything, given how obvious it was that Austin was coming to Raw.

I don’t even remember last year’s show so hopefully this one has a bit of a bigger….ahem….Impact on me.Getting the unimportant ones out of the way, I’ll take Zema and Tessmacher to retain.

 

Magnus winning over Van Dam is all that makes sense so we’ll go with that.  I’m actually giving TNA a chance with logic here.  Don’t screw me over.

 

Tag titles will stay on Daniels and Kaz.  Angle is legit injured so expect AJ to do most of the work, which is fine.

 

Aries will take out the Aces and 8’s guy.  That should be obvious.

 

Now for the real meat of the show: the BFG Series matches.

 

I think it comes down to Storm vs. Joe with Joe taking it.  There’s really no wrong answer here but Joe vs. Aries has been talked about as the main event of BFG.  Ray is a possibility with the new deal that may or may not have been signed, but I can’t see it happening.  Hardy is the guy you have to have in there but who doesn’t seem very likely to me at all.

 

Overall, this show is one that won’t need to be seen but should be a decent show anyway.  Nothing really happens here as it’s a build up to BFG which is fine, but it does make for less drama outside of the final three BFG Series matches.  The show should be fun though, which is what TNA is doing best right now.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2012
Location: I Wireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

The main story tonight is the potential legal action that Del Rio and Otunga are going to be taking against Sheamus. For those of you keeping score, this would be the second time in roughly a month that legal action has been part of this feud. When they can’t even keep fresh ideas going in a single feud, it may be a sign that there’s a problem. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Raw of Sheamus’ Brogue Kick to Ricardo and the announcement of Otunga taking legal action for it.

Otunga, Ricardo and Del Rio leave Booker’s office.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Alberto Del Rio who is the anchor Smackdown is trying to run with.

Here’s Del Rio and company in the arena to start things off. Del Rio talks about being on the roll of his career after beating Orton and Kane in back to back weeks. I would have thought beating Punk and Cena at the same time in the Cell for the world title would be better than that but what do I know? Del Rio says he’ll win the title at Night of Champions but that’s not enough. He wants the Brogue Kick banned because kicking someone in the head is a criminal act.

Ricardo isn’t just his servant. He’s Del Rio’s friend. The Brogue Kick has hurt dozens of people, but the cross armbreaker is elegant and pure. Otunga says he’s the only Harvard educated attorney in the history of WWE. He’s been hired because what happened to Ricardo was predetermined and intentional. We get a highlight reel of the Brogue Kick and all the people it’s beaten. I wonder if they’re actually going to get rid of it. I mean, they got rid of the Punt.

Otunga talks about meeting with Booker T, which brings out the GM himself. Booker says that was supposed to be confidential but Otunga brought it out to the people. Booker asks the people if the Brogue Kick should be banned and after a lot of booing, the kick is declared to be legal.

We get a throwaway line from Josh, saying that Kane has been fined an undisclosed amount for attacking him recently.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. The Miz/Cody Rhodes

Miz and Mysterio start things off. The champion pounds Mysterio down but Rey comes back with some kicks to the leg and a tag is made to Cara. A double kick from the masked men gets two on Miz as we take a break. These breaks a minute into the match need to stop. Back with Cara armdragging Cody across the ring and the tag being made to Mysterio. Miz pulls Cody away from the 619 and distracts Rey in the back to let Cody get control.

Rey drop toeholds Cody into the buckle and makes the tag to Cara. Sin (I guess I can call him that) speeds things way up but Coach Miz tells Cody to duck, allowing Miz to get the tag and a shot to the back of Cara to take over. The corner clothesline sets up the double ax off the top for two for Miz. Cody comes in with a delayed release gordbuster for two. The announcers are talking about Cody’s obsession with the masks which is all I’ve been wanting from this feud. They’ve touched on it a bit but hearing them flat out say it is nice.

Cody hooks a cravate but Cara gets into a bulldog position but backflips over to slam Cody’s head into the mat. Nice counter. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Miz and speed things up again. Miz counters a headscissors and rolls through a sunset flip, followed by a kick to the face of Rey for two. That was a slick sequence. Mysterio and Miz trade control on a rollup, resulting in Cody kicking Miz in the head by mistake. Cody is sent to the floor and hit by a big dive from Cara. The 619 and a top rope splash pin Miz at 7:38 shown of 11:08.

Rating: B-. The last minute or two of this was some very nice stuff with Miz looking awesome out there. He was hanging move for move with Mysterio which isn’t something you would expect him to be able to do. The ending was somewhat creative too with the rollup reversals leading to heel miscommunication. I was digging this one and I would be fine with the masked guys going after the tag titles. It would give Cara some success and Rey something to do.

Horny wants to hug it out with Bryan but settles for a handshake instead. Horny kicks Bryan in the shin and runs off. Bryan has to breathe and calm down.

Otunga threatens Booker with legal action if he doesn’t rethink his decision. Booker looks at some pictures and says he’ll think about it. Otunga isn’t pleased and asks Booker to meet him in the training room.

We get a recap of the hugging from Raw. In other words, we’re standing around reminiscing about the times we stood around. Miz giving commentary about the rules is kind of funny. In the video when the hug happens, a song that sounds like it belongs on The Wiggles comes on and bright colors come on the screen. Ok, that’s kind of awesome.

Daniel Bryan vs. Zach Ryder

Bryan fighting his inner demons on the way to the ring is awesome stuff. Ryder grabs a quick rollup for two and Bryan fires off some NO Kicks to come back. More kicks to the chest have Ryder in a lot of trouble. Ryder hits a face jam and gets up the knees in the corner. Broski Boot hits but Bryan begs off before the Rough Ryder. Bryan begs for understanding and asks for a hug, but he suckers Ryder into the NO Lock for the tap at 2:58. That was good stuff.

Bryan won’t let go of the hold and the referee reverses the decision.

There’s a match about to start but here’s Sandow instead. He sees his loss via countout last week as justice. He wasn’t prepared for that match and doesn’t like what social media had to say about it. Sandow says he was being intelligent last week, not being a coward. The people that TOUT IT OUT are cowards. No one would call him a coward to his face. Instead of tweeting, why not read a book? “When Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity, I assure all of you he did not TOUT about it!” I love this man. Anyway, Orton interrupts him and it’s time for Sandow to rub elbows with another big name.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Orton looks different for some reason. The bell rings and here are Dolph and Vickie. The bell rings again for no apparent reason and Orton takes him to the mat with a headlock. They fight for control in a collar and elbow tieup but Sandow punches Orton in the face to escape. Orton shrugs it off and Damien bails to the floor. Back in and Sandow avoids the backbreaker and heads to the floor again, only to get clotheslined down by a following Orton.

Ziggler gets up on the table and distracts Randy, allowing Sandow to ram Randy into the apron and take over. Back in and Sandow works on the arm as we take a break. Sandow putting on a chinlock. A Russian legsweep sets up the spinning elbow from Sandow for two. Orton avoids a charge and starts his comeback with the usual clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT puts Sandow down but as Orton loads up the RKO, Sandow heads to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout win for Orton at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C. This was another good thing for Sandow as now he’s rubbing elbows with the main event guys. He doesn’t need to win at all for a good while and when he drops back down to the midcard he’ll have some experience to make him a guy higher up in that part of the card. The match here was fine and the ending was the right call.

Orton cuts Ziggler off as Dolph is leaving and they have a staredown. Orton punches him down and throws him into the ring, only for Dolph to get the advantage back. Randy powerslams him down but as he loads up the RKO, Sandow runs back in and takes the RKO. Ziggler bails and Orton stands tall.

Otunga shows Booker some x-rays of necks to prove how damaging the Brogue Kick is. If Booker doesn’t do what Otunga says, WWE is getting sued. Booker says he’ll think about it and makes Otunga vs. Sheamus. This would be a lot more compelling stuff if it didn’t build up Del Rio vs. Sheamus.

Prime Time Players vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Winners get the title shot at Night of Champions. The only team to get an intro here is the Kofi/Truth who are on commentary. This is WCW rules with three people in the ring at once. Epico and Primo stomp on I think Jey in the corner while Young is down in the other corner. This is moving around too fast to keep up with. Titus gets the tag and cleans house before trying a release suplex to his partner onto Jey, but Jey gets his knees up.

Epico dropkicks Jey to the floor but walks into a northern lights suplex from Darren for two. Epico comes out of the corner with a tornado DDT to Young but walks into a double clothesline with Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag and cleans house as everything breaks down. A Samoan Drop puts Young down and Jimmy dives on Titus and Primo. Jey hits the top rope splash on Epico but Young steals the pin and the title shot at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a mess all over the place but it certainly wasn’t boring. All signs would point to Titus and Young winning the titles now, as they’ve been beaten by the champions twice I believe, so the logical conclusion would be to have them win the third match and forget the first two. The match was too short to become a disaster and it was fast enough to be fun, but it was like the old WCW Cruiserweight matches: mostly flash and no substance, but that’s ok.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Cena of course.

Eve TOUTS IT OUT about the safety issues going on. This would annoy me more if she wasn’t gorgeous.

Teddy talks to Kaitlyn about the potential lawsuit when Ziggler and Vickie show up. They go to see Booker but Teddy says Booker is busy. Ziggler wants to face Orton again because the win on Monday wasn’t a fluke. He wants the fight at Night of Champions and after some banter, Teddy says he’ll advise Booker to make the match. It’s so refreshing to see a heel step up and challenge someone.

Wade Barrett vs. Yoshi Tatsu

I think Barrett has new music but I’m not sure. For the first time that I can ever remember, Barrett starts in a boxing stance and throws some punches. Tatsu gets stuck between the ropes and Barrett kicks him in the face to take him down. Barrett fires off more punches and a kick to the ribs followed by a big elbow to the head for the pin at 1:48.

Barrett says he has no interest in meaningless matches like this. If he’s not instantly in the title picture, he’s going to do something to make his life easier on him. He declares Wade Barrett open for business. That sounds interesting. Barrett has a different style here and I’m not sure if I like it yet or not.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Sheamus pounds him down to start but the Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top rope to take over and it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus escapes and hits some running ax handle smashes to take over. There are the ten forearms in the ropes from the champ and Otunga is in trouble. Sheamus hits White Noise and loads up the Brogue Kick, but Booker comes out and says the Brogue Kick is banned. Instead Sheamus hits a modified Irish Curse and the Texas Cloverleaf gets the submission at 4:59.

Rating: D+. The squash was just a backdrop so we could have the announcement of the kick being banned made to end the show. Otunga is good as a backstage character but in the ring the guy has never really accomplished anything of note and it’s clear that he belongs in a suit and not trunks. Total squash here.

Sheamus stares at Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was fine from a technical standpoint as everything made sense and a lot of stories were advanced. The problem is that the main story got a lot more time than everything else and the main story is very dull. The legal stuff and having the Kick banned is an attempt to make this feud seem interesting, but the problem with taking Sheamus’ finisher away is he had just debuted a new finisher on Monday before all of this happened. The rest of the show was mostly entertaining, but again it feels like a supplement to Raw instead of its own show.

Results

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/The Miz – Top rope splash to Miz

Zach Ryder b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Bryan wouldn’t release the NO Lock

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Epico/Primo and Usos – Young pinned Epico after a top rope splash from Jimmy Uso

Wade Barrett b. Yoshi Tatsu – Elbow to the head

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 17, 1999
Location: Siegel Center, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end of the year and hopefully we actually have some development in the tag title feud. I remember something major that was coming next week but I think that was impromptu instead of something that was set up the week before. Then again that was on Christmas Eve so it’s not like building something up would have served a purpose anyway. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey welcome us from the announce position instead of in the ring as usual. We actually have a #1 contenders tag match tonight.

The Impact Players are ready for Candido and Rhyno tonight.

Opening sequence.

Nova and some guy are in the back when Chris Chetti comes in and says he’s coming back tonight. Nova says no way because of Chetti’s back isn’t healed yet. Chetti doesn’t want to wind up being way too hurt and he picked the other guy (apparently Kid Kash) to be the substitute partner. Chetti leaves and accuses both guys of checking him out as he leaves, but he can’t blame them because he can turn straight people gay. Ok then.

The Baldies issue an open challenge to anyone in the back.

DeVito vs. New Jack

This would be a bit more surprising if New Jack hadn’t already been announced as facing one of the Baldies tonight. Jack breaks a crutch over DeVito’s back to start followed by breaking a keyboard over his head. Joel: “I think he just swallowed an asterisk!” Something metal follows that upside DeVito’s head and the keyboard is placed between DeVito’s legs and crushed with a kendo stick. A top rope guitar shot gets the pin. Yes, they actually called this a wrestling match.

Post the alleged match New Jack pulls out a fork but before he can embrace his inner Abdullah, the other Baldies run in for the save. They staple New Jack’s ear and we go to a break.

Back with Da Baldies still in the ring and issuing another open challenge.

Mike Awesome vs. Grimes

Well that’s quite an answer. Grimes takes over to start with a top rope clothesline but Awesome pops back up. This isn’t for the title I don’t think. Awesome snaps off a German and clotheslines Grimes to the floor, giving us three more wrestling moves than in the whole New Jack thing. Awesome hits a big dive to take out Grimes on the floor. I have no idea if Awesome is a face or a heel but he’s wrestling like the former here.

A big chair shot to the back of Grimes keeps him in trouble but he reverses Awesome into the barricade. Awesome is like screw that and slams Grimes’ head into the concrete to take over again. It’s table time already and Grimes is powerbombed off the apron through said table, which is good for the pin back in the ring. Total squash.

Judge Jeff Jones (Awesome’s manager) says Awesome is the best giant in the world. Cue the giant killer Spike Dudley for the Acid Drop on the champion.

Danny Doring is in the shower and Elektra joins him. He pulls back the curtain but finds Roadkill instead. Francine comes in and Elektra pops in and complains about hearing Francine here. Elektra threatens Doring with castration. This went nowhere.

Joey is talking about the upcoming match when Joel pops up in a towel saying he wants more shower scenes.

Tom Marquez vs. Super Calo vs. Ikuto Hidaka

Hidaka gets sent to the floor by a double team, followed by Marquez turning on Calo almost immediately. Hidaka pops back in and takes out Calo but Marquez pounds him into the corner. A tornado DDT from Hidaka gets two on Marquez but Calo comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick. Hidaka dropkicks everyone down and here’s Sabu to beat up all three guys. Another too short to rate match.

All three guys are driven through the same table. Must be a budget cutback. Sabu vs. Van Dam for the TV Title is official for the PPV.

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Rhyno/Chris Candido vs. Impact Players

The winners get Raven and Dreamer at the PPV for the titles. Rhyno and Justin start things off and it’s power vs. speed. A wheelbarrow slam puts Justin on the floor and it’s off to Candido vs. Storm who have history of their own. Things get a lot more technical and Candido takes Storm down, followed by a middle rope legdrop. Storm ducks under a charging Candido to Chris into a superkick from Credible.

Jason slides in a chair because what would an ECW match be without one? Justin backdrops Candido onto the chair and drops a knee for no cover. Candido blocks what might have been a suplex and DDTs Justin onto the chair. Off to Rhyno and Justin gets double teamed. Justin gets a tag out of nowhere and Storm comes in with a springboard clothesline to Candido.

Rhyno kills him with a spinebuster for two and it’s back to Candido again for a delayed vertical suplex on Lance. Storm escapes but gets his head kicked off by an enziguri for two. There’s a superplex on Storm but the girls come in for a catfight. Justin canes Candido and Storm avoids a Gore, sending it into Candido by mistakes. Justin superkicks Candido down to get the title shot at Guilty As Charged.

Rating: C. Not terrible here as for the most part it was just a tag match instead of some big wild brawl. Also, we FINALLY advance the story instead of doing the same things over and over again which is a major perk. We have a title match to build to now which is all I’ve been wanting from this story. Well that and less Justin but you can’t get everything.

Candido and Rhyno get in an argument in the aisle while Storm says the Impact Players will win the titles. Storm talks down about Sandman and here’s Sandy himself. The entrance is sped up here and only takes about a minute and a half. The Players leave and Jason is left all alone. There’s a cane shot to his head and multiple more to his body. Jason is a decoy though and Sandman gets beaten down. Sandman gets in some offense but Rhyno comes back in and Gores him out of frustration.

Raven talks about needing to do the right thing because he can’t fight Dreamer again. Dreamer is too strong for him now and they need to take out the Impact Players at the PPV. He begs Dreamer to understand that but the camera pans back to show that he’s talking to Francine.

Overall Rating: C. Better show this week because the main story was actually advanced. Also whenever Mike Awesome goes out there and destroys whatever people he sees in his path it’s a good day. The shows have picked up since the world champion is around and since we’ve actually started building up to the PPV. That’s what’s been missing the last three or four weeks.

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ECW on TNN
Date: December 10, 1999
Location: The Tabernacle, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re slowly getting to Guilty As Charged but it’s still far enough away that we don’t need to talk about it yet. The main story here is still Raven vs. Dreamer because it worked in 95 so of course it’ll work now right? These shows are all over the place most of the time so there’s no way to know what’s coming here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Van Dam in the ring dedicating his title defense tonight to Sabu who is here but injured apparently. Sabu doesn’t like it and has to be held back. Van Dam calls Sabu the Sheik’s (Sabu’s legit uncle and trainer) second favorite wrestler.

We cut to the back where Raven is ramming his head against the wall but Dreamer comes in to stop him, saying they’re proud of Raven.

Theme song.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and after our opening limerick, we throw it to a recap of last week with Steve Corino going to a Limp Bizkit concert. Back in the arena we have Corino and Jack Victory in the ring. Corino bashes hardcore wrestling and hardcore music but praises the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and Britney Spears. Corino goes on a rant about how bad music is and then complains about Dusty Rhodes……who happens to be in the crowd.

Corino rants about how everyone here is drunk and Dusty killed WCW. Dusty comes to the ring with a smile on his face and gets in Corino’s face. Corino calls himself the future of pro wrestling and says he never respected Dusty. Dusty elbows Steve and Victory in the head and drops the big elbow on Corino.

After some ads, Dusty is in the ring still. He takes a bow and that’s it.

We recap the Hardcore TV taping from earlier.

The Impact Players say they can both beat Sandman and don’t need any help.

Spike Dudley vs. Uganda

Acid Drop pins Uganda in almost less time than it takes me to type this sentence. Uganda isn’t Kamala in case you’re one of the many who think this. Basically he’s a Kamala imitator, as in he looks identical to him, wears the same attire, has the same paint, and wrestles just like him. Different guys though.

RVD (stoned even more than he usually is) says he was the star of his team with Sabu.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Awesome (the champion) runs Scorpio over to start and Scorpio isn’t sure what to do. Scorpio knocks him to the ramp (the arena is strange as the aisle to the ring is on the level with the ring but the ring itself is in a kind of a pit) and hits a flip dive to take over, but back in the ring Awesome suplexes him to the floor. Scorpio is launched into the crowd and the champion dives over the barricade with a clothesline.

A chair to the back puts Scorpio back at ringside and a charge into the chair into Scorpio gets two back in the ring. Another tackle puts 2 Cold down and a clothesline knocks him inside out. This has been a total squash so far. Scorpio grabs a quick cradle for two and “hits” a superkick to set up a big top rope splash for two. A moonsault gets the same but Scorpio walks into a modified powerbomb for two.

Awesome hits a sweet release German suplex and it’s table time. It is ECW after all. Jazz, Scorpio’s manager, gets in and Scorpio has to save her from being powerbombed through the table. There’s another superkick to Awesome but Scorpio takes too much time to go up top and a HUGE powerbomb through the table kills 2 Cold dead to keep the title on Awesome.

Rating: C. I like both of these guys so I was a fan of this match before it started. This was when Scorpio was a shell of his old self when he was flying all over the place back in WCW in the early 90s. Good stuff here though as Awesome was moving around like Scorpio used to despite being bigger and taller than Scorpio ever was. Fun stuff.

Justin Credible is here to complain about Sandman having a Singapore Cane of his own. Apparently Jason, the Impact Players’ lackey, has stolen Sandman’s Cane.

Justin Credible vs. The Sandman

Sandman has what looks like a broom. After a break Sandman is going after the cane but gets caught by a baseball slide to send him into the barricade. Justin rams him into a chair in the ring but Sandman gets a shot in of his own and heads to the floor where he climbs a magically appearing ladder. He climbs the ladder and then climbs back down, making this another pointless ECW sequence.

Justin puts the ladder in the corner between the ropes and due to wrestling law #1, is sent into it himself, getting a two for Sandy. The ladder is placed on the top rope and Justin is launched into it for two. A slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Justin gets two again and it’s time for another table. The table is set in the corner but Credible grabs a sleeper out of nowhere. Speaking of out of nowhere, here’s Rhyno to Gore both guys through the table. The White Russian Leg Sweep would seem to get the pin but Lance Storm comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Sandman to drive a chair into his face and give Justin the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a great contrast of two kinds of matches. The world title match had a coherent story to it (mostly) and both guys were hitting almost everything they used. This was a lot messier with the weapons being the focus of the match instead of the wrestlers in the ring, which is almost never a good thing.

Post match Dreamer runs out to beat up Storm and we get a Dawn Marie vs. Francine catfight.

After a recap of the show, Dreamer yells at Raven who says he wasn’t going to help Sandman. Dreamer calls him Scotty to prove how serious he is.

Overall Rating: D+. This just wasn’t that good. Corino finally has an actual wrestler to feud with and the world title match wasn’t bad, but the focus is still completely on the tag title feud and I only have kind of an idea what’s going on. The Impact Players want the titles and Candido (not here tonight) and Rhyno want the titles and Dreamer hates Raven and Sandman is in there somewhere and Raven hates Sandman. Now one question: when are the belts going to be defended? That’s the main (of multiple) problems with this: there’s no match anywhere in sight so far. Not a horrible show but still messy.

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