Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2012
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentator: Michael Cole

We’re past Summerslam and Sheamus is still the champion. He kept the title by pinning Del Rio, but there was some controversy at the end as Del Rio had his foot on the ropes. Then on Raw, Alberto got pinned by Orton, so I think we might be seeing another triple threat in the near future. Well to be fair we haven’t had one in almost five days so it’s high time for one. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title match at Summerslam.

Here’s Orton to open things up. He says that he’s never been a glass half full kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy that would like to shatter the glass (again with the Austin motif) and beat up the guy that came up with that stupid expression. Randy says he deserves the world title shot after beating Del Rio on Monday. However, there are probably some people that disagree with him in the back, so he invites them to come out here right now.

Instead he gets Sheamus which isn’t the result he was expecting. Sheamus talks about how Alberto has lost every chance he’s had at the title and he’s lost twice in a row now “fair and square”. Sheamus wants to defend the title against Orton but here’s Booker with a rebuttal. He asks the fans if they’re interested in seeing Orton vs. Sheamus….but here’s Alberto to interrupt.

Del Rio says that Sheamus is a cheater and Orton is an animal. He whines and whines about how unfair everything is and Booker caves and makes him #1 contender. Actually scratch that because the whining has made Booker change his mind. Tonight it’s Del Rio vs. Orton for the title shot at Night of Champions.

We get a recap of Josh Matthews getting injured by Kane at Summerslam. Teddy Long is filling in for him tonight. Apparently there’s going to be a different commentator filling in on each match.

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal

Ryback pounds Mahal in the face as Cole talks about how Teddy should be upset that he’s not the boss anymore. Mahal escapes a powerslam and sends Ryback into the corner to take over. The running knee to the face gets one but an attempted seated boot at the face is caught by Ryback. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as Ryback hits a powerslam. The clothesline and Shell Shock end this at 2:53. Now move Ryback up the card already.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Kaitlyn is guest commentator. Tiffany’s song does not work well at all for Layla. Now I’m not one to usually notice crowd noise being piped in, but when Layla gets a pop as she holds up the belt and a wide shot shows almost no one moving, I think there’s something fake there. Layla hits her double jump springboard cross body for two. Kaitlyn talks about Natalya complaining about being eliminated from the battle royal “last night”. Layla gets kicked off the ropes and Alicia goes after the knee. A half crab is broken up and Layla hits a high kick for the pin at 2:04. Nothing to see here.

Eve comes out post match and raises both of their hands.

Raw ReBound talks about the end of the show.

Ziggler brags to Vickie about getting rid of Jericho on Monday. Sheamus pops in and says there’s no time like the present, so why not have a match tonight? Ziggler says no but Teddy comes up and says yes.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

Cody is the guest commentator. Cara takes him down with a snapmare to start and a dropkick puts Slater into the corner. Slater knocks him to the floor with a shoulder to the ribs to take over and it’s off to the chinlock. Cody gets in a backhanded compliment to Slater by saying that this is the only match he has a chance to win this year. Cara does the corner rope walk into the armdrag to send Slater out to the floor before hitting a dive over the top. They head back in but Cody turns Cara’s mask around, allowing Slater to hit a reverse DDT for the pin at 2:35. This was angle advancement.

Cody goes for the mask again but referees stop him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for the champ. Vickie does commentary of course. Ziggler bails to the floor to start before charging back into a headlock takeover. Dolph comes back with a chinlock as Vickie runs down AJ. Sheamus comes back and tries White Noise but Ziggler bails to the apron. Ziggler trips him up and drops Sheamus onto the apron with a DDT for two.

Back to the chinlock followed by a failed sleeper attempt. Sheamus hits some power strikes followed by the ten forearms in the ropes. White Noise looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Ziggler bails to the corner. Vickie slips him the case and he blasts Sheamus with it for the DQ at 4:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t great but how much can you do in five minutes with a DQ ending? These two have the chemistry together which is a good thing and I liked that they didn’t have Ziggler about to lose. He was in trouble but he avoided the kick and things would have been almost at a standoff after that.

Ziggler hits Sheamus again with the case and looks to cash in but Sheamus gets up and stares him down so Ziggler takes the case back and runs.

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Here’s Santino with something to say. Santino talks about how long he was US Champion and how he doesn’t feel like an American anymore. Then he ate apple pie and felt better. No seriously, that’s what he said. Santino isn’t sure if he can talk to the Cobra anymore so he puts it on and sees if things are ok.

He remembers the good times with the Cobra but on Sunday, the Cobra cost him the title because of its attraction to Aksana. Santino quotes Roberto De Niro and asks if you can milk him because he has nipples. Oh wait he meant to quote Rocky Balboa and says if he can change everybody can change. That fires the Cobra up and he says they can win the title again.

Thankfully Cesaro comes out to interrupt with new music. Cesaro does the five languages thing with the word this week being winner. He says that unlike Santino, he’s a winner. That fires Santino up and they brawl on the stage with Santino loading up the Cobra, only to be distracted by Aksana. The Cobra, not Santino. The distraction lets Cesaro deck him and leave Santino laying. This is modern WWE for you: we finally get a young talent like Cesaro pushed to a title and he feuds with a guy over a sock on the challenger’s hand being attracted to Cesaro’s girlfriend.

Primo/Epico vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Non-title here. The Prime Time Players are the guest commentators. Cole suggests the tag champions have the Players’ number. Titus: “You mean our phone number?” Kofi and Epico start things off and it’s a standoff with both guys trying dropkicks. Epico pounds away on him in the corner and it’s off to Primo. Cole tries to learn the bark as Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two. Titus does a Booker imitation as the commentary continues to move further and further away from the match. Off to Truth who cleans house and hits a gordbuster on Epico. Everything breaks down and Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 2:17.

Video on the Japan tour.

Kofi and Truth say they’ll fight anyone. Little Jimmy thinks there’s a lot of good competition around here. The Players come in and say they deserve the shot. The Usos, Kidd/Gabriel and Epico/Primo all come in and it’s a big brawl.

Teddy tells Booker the brawl has been broken up. Booker asks Teddy who deserves the shot. Teddy isn’t sure so Eve comes in and has a win/loss chart for the teams over the last six months. She’s also organized his schedule for the next six weeks. Booker is pleased and Teddy isn’t sure what to think.

Recap video on Kane vs. Bryan.

Since this show isn’t boring enough already, here’s a long recap of HHH/Lesnar/HBK from Raw. Seriously that speech made you think HHH died.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Winner gets Sheamus presumably at Night of Champions so he’s on commentary here. They fight for control to start but Randy hits a slingshot suplex of all things for two and takes over. He hits the slingshot into the bottom rope but Del Rio comes back with a quick armbar attempt. That gets countered into a neckbreaker to send Del Rio to the outside as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock. During the break Orton’s arm was sent into the steps so the arm is hurt as usual. A knee to the ribs stops Orton’s attempt at a comeback and Alberto pounds away on the arm. The running enziguri in the corner misses and Orton gets fired up. Well, as fired up as Orton can get. Orton’s clotheslines set up the powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by Del Rio pulling on Randy’s arm.

That’s the extent of his offense though as Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm out of nowhere for two and Randy is in trouble again. The armbreaker is countered and a dropkick puts Del Rio down and gets a delayed two. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Del Rio hangs onto the ropes, sending Orton’s arm into the mat again. There’s the armbreaker and in what has to be a surprise, Orton taps clean at 6:46 shown of 10:16.

Rating: C. The ending was a nice surprise but at the end of the day, it means Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the third month in a row with nothing changing at this point. All of the hope that I had for something new at Night of Champions are gone, presumably because Orton needs to go film a movie that about 8 people will admit to seeing. It does at least give Del Rio a clean win over someone which he’s needed for a long time.

Post match Del Rio throws a shoe at Sheamus to draw the champ in, allowing Ricardo and Alberto to beat Sheamus down. With Sheamus down, here’s Ziggler to cash in but Orton hits an RKO on Dolph for no apparent reason other than I guess Dolph needs someone new to feud with. Someone must have landed on the case because there’s a big dent in it now.

Overall Rating: D. Smackdown is such a mess anymore. We had a bunch of short matches tonight and a bunch of nonsense. First and foremost, why in the world are there three people in charge on this show? They’re wasting time on a feud between Teddy Long vs. Eve Torres. Think about that for a minute. Other than that, we have Del Rio vs. Sheamus AGAIN, which was dull the first time, stupid and dull the second time, and grounds for an insanity defense this time.

We have a tag title feud with a bunch of teams and I’d almost bet money on the Prime Time Players getting the titles after having lost clean TWICE now to Kofi and Truth, because you couldn’t just put the freaking belts on them in the first place because….because…..oh like WWE has any clue why they do what they do with those belts. Oh and don’t forget the US Title, the same title (in name only) that saw Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA in one of the greatest matches ever, being fought over because of a sock that has a mind of its own. This show is a disaster and it’s clear that no one behind the scenes cares about it at all.

Results

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Layla b. Alicia Fox – High Kick to the head

Heath Slater b. Sin Cara – Reverse DDT

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used the MITB briefcase

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Epico/Primo – Little Jimmy to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In the fall, WWE is going to be debuting a new weekly TV show called The Main Event.  When that happens, there are going to be 8 and a half hours of free TV from WWE every week.  On that scale, WWE would have more TV aired on free TV in approximately five weeks than there was on WWF PPV in all of the 1980s combined.

And people wonder why the shows are getting watered down.

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 23, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Tonight is another Open Fight Night and the main draw of the show is that at the beginning, we’re going to have Aces and 8’s vs. Sting and company. Other than that we’re likely to have a title match as we have on all other Open Fight Nights. There’s also another Gut Check tonight, which again makes the card too crowded. Oh and there’s the Styles/Lynch paternity test thing. Let’s get to it.

After the usual recap, here are Sting, Angle, Styles, Roode, Aries, Hardy, Anderson and the Dudleys. There are some more guys on the floor on top of that. Sting says they’re ready for us and we get some stills of the attacks. There’s no Hogan but the fans want him. Sting calls out Storm who has been cleared of his charges as of last week. Storm is all fired up and wants to go hunting. Sting says Hogan is here and here are two members of Aces and 8’s at ringside.

Sting lets them come into the ring and it’s Angle and Storm to beat them down. Storm hits one guy with a weapon of some sort as Angle destroys the other in the corner. One guy is revealed to be…..someone that doesn’t seem to be anyone of note. Sting interrogates him and the guy says everyone here is in for a long and painful night. Sting kicks him to the floor and we take a break.

Here’s Tessmacher who thanks Brooke for making things right. She wants to know if she can beat Tara and since it’s Open Fight Night, let’s find out.

Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Non-title here. Taryn Terrell is the referee again which apparently is a regular thing for the knockouts. Tara takes oer with the power stuff to start as Tessmacher barely can get over here in a leapfrog. A slam gets two for Tara and she easily wins a slugout. Tessmacher clotheslines her down and does Tara’s shake at her, but takes too long going up. A superplex gets the pin for Tara at 2:50. There’s your next title program I’m guessing.

The Pope is out of the BFG Series with a broken collar bone.

Sting talks to Robbie E, AJ and RVD, all of whom still had to face Pope in the Series. There’s going to be a three way instead and it’s winner take all. Robbie T is banned from ringside.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 61

Rob Van Dam 55

AJ Styles 50

Kurt Angle 48

Bully Ray 48

Jeff Hardy 42

Mr. Anderson 40

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

D’Angelo Dinero 7 (Injured)

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Van Dam and Styles throw Robbie to the floor so we can get down to the important guys. Van Dam fires off some kicks to start and a rollup gets two. It’s a standoff and Robbie is back in. he charges into a double hip toss and a suplex from Styles sends him to the outside again. AJ hits the drop down/kick to send Van Dam to the floor but Robbie sneaks in and clotheslines Styles down for tow.

Van Dam is kicked to the floor before he can do anything and we take a break. Back with AJ trying to speed things up but missing a forearm in the corner. Robbie knocks Van Dam to the floor again and AJ gets put in a chinlock. Van Dam pulls Robbie to the floor and beats him up but Styles dives on both of them to put both guys down. He may have hurt his leg in the landing though.

Back in and AJ hits the fireman’s carry into the backbreaker for two. The leg seems to be ok. Robbie can’t get past the apron and Van Dam kicks AJ down. Rolling Thunder hits and Robbie takes a kick to the face as well. Standing moonsault gets two on Robbie and he gets sent to the floor. AJ botches the moonsault into the reverse DDT but gets two off of it anyway. Styles loads up a superplex on RVD but gets knocked back down. The Five Star hits but Robbie runs in and rolls up Van Dam for the pin at 12:53.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty fun match although the way the match was going, it became clear there was going to be a surprise ending. I guess they wanted to avoid Styles or RVD from getting some breathing room in the standings which isn’t a bad idea. The match was pretty good for the most part though and it was a nice surprise all things considered.

Jeff Hardy is here and he calls out Robbie T. I won’t bother listing the call outs unless they’re anything of note.

Jeff Hardy vs. Robbie T

Hardy jumps him to start but Robbie knocks him down with a clothesline. Jeff comes back with a Whisper in the Wind for two and some clotheslines stagger Robbie. Twist of Fate and the Swanton get the pin at 2:36. This was just a step above a squash.

Sting is still looking for Aces and 8’s.

We get a recap of AJ vs. Daniels and the Clair Lynch jazz.

Here’s AJ for the reveal of the results. He says he doesn’t remember the night but if it’s his kid, he’ll take care of it and be responsible for it. If it’s not his though, he doesn’t want to hear from Kaz and Daniels ever again. JB asks Lynch to come out but here are Kaz and Daniels instead. Kaz goes into a somewhat hilarious rant about how people like Styles are the reason for how bad the country is and how overpopulated the prisons are. Daniels says AJ has put Clair through so much stress that she’s in a hospital.

Some chick in a suit comes out and takes the mic from Daniels. Apparently her name is Grace Stein and she’s Lynch’s attorney. She has a statement from Lynch which says she lied, agreed to blackmail AJ, and drugged him on the night the pictures were taken. Lynch never was pregnant and it was all a lie from Daniels. AJ kicks Daniels in the head and that’s it.

The Tough Enough guy says he needs this because he doesn’t have anything else to go home to.

Aces and 8’s are walking in the back when Sting stops them and flips a deck of cards at them. He throws a bat to Hogan who is behind the masked guys and all three get beaten down. Hogan threatens to feed their hearts to his dog if they ever attack his daughter again.

Alex Silva is proud to have won Gut Check.

Gut Check: Kris Lewey vs. Gunner

Kris takes over to start with a shoulder but Gunner knocks him into the corner to take over. An elbow takes Lewey down again but Kris comes back with some bad strikes followed by a bad Samoan Drop. A top rope splash misses and the release F5 gets the pin for Gunner at 2:59. Lewey looked really bad.

ODB is on the phone with Eric Young and wants sex. She hits on someone we can’t see and that’s it. Fish references are made because of Young’s show.

Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

This is Anderson’s last match in the Series. It’s a feeling out process to start with both guys hitting some chops. We take a break and come back with Ray dropping an elbow. The fans want something but I can’t make it out. A slam looks to set up a Vader Bomb (what is with the popularity of that move lately?) but Anderson moves. They slug it out from their knees and it’s boo/yay time. A clothesline puts Ray down and things speed up. Neckbreaker gets two for Anderson and a spinwheel kick gets the same. The announcers are talking about what Hogan did and call him Hollywood Hogan. That doesn’t bode well.

Anderson tries a fireman’s carry but Ray is too fat. A neckbareker gets two for Ray but as he goes up, Anderson hits him in the ribs and hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Anderson goes up but gets crotched and superplexed. We cut to the back and see Gunner, Robbie T and Angle beating down three members of Aces and 8’s. Back in the ring and a Bubba Bomb gets two. Another one is countered into a DDT followed by a Swanton Bomb for two for Anderson. Bubba Cutter is countered into the Mic Check for the pin at 12:19.

Rating: C+. Another good match here but that puts Anderson a point shy of the top four, meaning that at the moment he’s out of the finals at No Surrender. That’s probably a good thing though as Anderson is more or less just kind of there in the Series and the company at this point. Then again, that’s been the case for him for years now.

An Aces and 8’s guy is in the back and he says they’ve been playing his game all night. In three and a half minutes, they’re unleashing the Dead Man’s Hand.

Here’s almost the entire roster to end the show. Sting says the three and a half minutes have passed. There’s no Hogan in the ring, nor is there a Joe that I can see. The fans want Hogan. Here they come and it’s a brawl at ringside and in the ring. There’s nothing special to it. It’s just a brawl that the TNA guys are winning. Aces and 8’s are getting run out of the building. Hogan and Storm are fighting in the back with some more members. AJ is there with them too.

Back in the arena, RVD, Aries and Hardy are left alone while everyone else is beating up more members. The camera is cutting all over the place. Aries dives on more guys on the floor. There must be 20 Aces and 8’s guys all around the arena. Hardy is down at ringside. A big guy is in the ring now and he took Aries head off with a clothesline. The big guy calls in some more members and they have a piece of the guardrail stacked up on the buckle. Aries has his arm placed on it and crushed with a chair. Bully Ray comes in for the save and the six guys in the ring bail. In the back Aces and 8’s get on their motorcycles and leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was good overall for the most part although there were some weak areas. For one, the AJ/Daniels/Kaz thing was pretty terrible, but if it means they’re pulling out of the thing once and for all, I’m all for it. The Aces and 8’s stuff was interesting and it’s pretty clear they’re heading to BFG with this angle. TNA is doing a great job at making you want to watch next week, which is the whole point of a TV show. Good stuff again here.

Results

Tara b. Miss Tessmacher – Superplex

Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam and AJ Styles – Rollup to Van Dam

Jeff Hardy b. Robbie T – Swanton Bomb

Gunner b. Kris Lewey – Release F5

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: August 22, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

So I had the whole intro written about how great it was that the title tournament ended tonight and how great it was to see something like that finally happen on NXT. Then I started watching the show and for no apparent reason, the match is next week. My guess is that they wanted it to be at the start of a new taping or something like that, but it’s still disappointing. Let’s get to it.

Derrick Bateman vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro pounds him into the corner almost immediately but Bateman comes back with a dropkick for one. Regal talks about how strong Bateman is as he pounds away. Cesaro comes back with a hot shot to take over and it’s off to the cravate and chinlock. Bateman comes back with a belly to back suplex and some clotheslines. He hooks what can only be called a reverse DDT (Bateman hooked him for a DDT and then fell forward to drive Cesaro’s back into the mat. Why not just use a regular DDT?) but a charge misses in the corner. Gutwrench suplex sets up the Neutralizer for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it’s good to see that Bateman isn’t a featured guy anymore. He’s competent in the ring and the people in Florida seem to like him somewhat, but the guy just isn’t that interesting. I think he’s supposed to be an everyman character which is ok but that’s about as far as he’s taken it.

Some WWE stars talk about what it means to be the first champion. This is probably the only time you’ll ever see Cena talk about NXT.

Tamina Snuka vs. Sofia Cortez

Tamina grabs an armdrag to start but Cortez comes back with some kicks to the ribs. Tamina hits a forearm to the chest and Sofia gives her a look that says “HOW DARE YOU” before wrapping Tamina up with a bodyscissors. Snuka comes with some chops and a superkick for two. The Superfly Splash gets the pin at 2:52. Sofia showed a lot of fire here, which means nothing because she was released about ten days ago.

Raquel Diaz jumps Tamina post match and draws the lipstick L on Tamina’s head.

Kassius Ohno vs. Jake Carter

I believe Carter is Vader’s son. Feeling out process for the first minute with no one being able to get an advantage. Carter takes him into the corner and pounds away but Ohno suckers him in and takes over. Ohno puts on a Cravate but misses a big boot. Carter hits a side slam for two but walks into the rolling elbow for the pin at 3:55. According to Regal it’s called the Dream Killer.

Rating: D+. I know Ohno was an indy legend, but his NXT stuff hasn’t really grabbed me. He just kind of does the same strikes over and over until hitting the spinning forearm/elbow for the pin. There’s no story to his matches for the most part and they’re just not that good. I’ve only seen a bit of his indy stuff and it was way better than his stuff here.

Ohno beats on Carter some more until Richie Steamboat makes the save.

We get the same package from Raw and Summerslam, showing us what WWE did in LA for Summerslam week.

More people talk about the Gold Rush Tournament and what it means to be champion.

Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Michael and Kidd start us off as Regal talks about Walt Disney spinning in his refrigerator. Wouldn’t that be a freezer? Kidd takes him down by the arm and tags in Gabriel to speed things up. Kidd comes back in with a slingshot rollup for two as McGillicutty can’t get anything going so far. A double kick to the rib keeps McGillicutty in trouble. Curtis comes in for a distraction and McGillicutty takes Justin’s head off with a clothesline.

We take a break and come back with Curtis hitting a forearm to Gabriel to knock him down. Back to McGillicutty who doesn’t stay in long at all. Curtis comes in and hits a suplex before it’s off to the chinlock. Gabriel tries to speed it up but walks into an AA (that’ll likely get Curtis in trouble) from Curtis to put him down again. Johnny tries a twisting moonsault but crashes and both guys are down.

There’s the hot tag to Kidd and a lukewarm one to McGillicutty as well. Kidd fires off some kicks to the head for two but McGillicutty and Curtis hit a side slam/slingshot “leg” (more like a hip) drop combo for two. Back to Curtis who can’t hit a superplex but Kidd slips off the top trying a moonsault press. McGillicutty is knocked to the floor and a Hart Attack with a Blockbuster from Gabriel gets the pin on Curtis at 7:42 shown of 11:12.

Rating: C+. Good fast paced tag match here but it got a bit sloppy at times. These guys are like the Cruiserweights in WCW: you can throw them out there in almost any combination and the match is going to be entertaining. Kidd and McGillicutty are ready for regular TV but for some reason they rarely make it onto those shows.

Kassius Ohno accepts a challenge from Richie Steamboat, presumably for next week.

It’s time for the showdown to end the show. Byron Saxton calls out Seth Rollins and Jinder Mahal for a face to face chat. Rollins says that his dream is to be in WWE and that’s all that matters to him. He’s on the brink of achieving that dream and he’s not leaving here without becoming the champion. Mahal speaks Punjab and says that Rollins is a failure. The fight is on and Rollins dives onto Mahal on the floor and stands tall in the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The point of this show was to build up the title match next week and they did that very well. They made the NXT Title match feel like a big deal which is pretty impressive given that it’s the minor league championship. Having a showdown like that was a nice touch and while I’m not wild on either guy, I want to see them fight now. The rest of the matches were just ok, but they weren’t the point of the show tonight.

Results
Antonio Cesaro b. Derick Bateman – Neutralizer

Tamina Snuka b. Sofia Cortez – Superfly Splash

Kassius Ohno b. Jake Carter – Dream Killer

Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis – Blockbuster to Curtis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I went to my first Raw in June 2009.  On that night, The Miz was on the show.He called out John Cena in a “feud” that basically consisted of Miz calling out Cena over and over and when Cena didn’t acknowledge him, Miz declared himself the winner.  Eventually Cena beat him in basically a squash at The Bash.

Flash forward less than two years.  Wrestlemania just went off the air and this is the final result you see:

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

Who in the world would have believed you would have seen that?  Miz went from being the host of Smackdown to a chick magnet to a guy in a funny show on WWE.com to a joke tag champion to a good tag team champion to a guy who called out Cena to the US Champion to Mr. MITB to world champion, pinning Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Oh and Rock came back and was in the main event of Wrestlemania and will be in the main event of the Royal Rumble next year.  You never know what you’re going to get.

Note that this contains spoilers for this week’s Impact so if you do not want to be surprised by it, do not read this until after Thursday’s show.The latest rumor going around is that Clair Lynch, who is portrayed by a model and actress named Julia Reilly, is quitting the company because she was embarrassed when her name and picture were shown on a wrestling message board. If this is the case, I have something I’d like to say to/regarding Ms. Reilly.

If it’s true that she’s quitting because she didn’t want to be associated with wrestling and she’s embarrassed by people knowing she works for a wrestling company, screw her. No seriously, get off my TV and never come back.

Yes, Julia Reilly, you work for a wrestling company. I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s true. I know it must suck as an actress and a model to be put on live national television every week in a featured role, which is more than probably 99% of actresses will ever get and I’m sorry you were paid to do it.

I’m a wrestling fan and I’ve been one for well over 20 years. I’m also a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Kentucky. What Ms. Reilly is saying is that people like me that watch her performances and potentially pay money out of our pockets to see the resolutions and advancements in her storylines are beneath her and she doesn’t want her name associated with us, our kind, or the thing we’re interested in watching. If this is true, then I feel no sympathy for her and I hope that someday her career fails to the point where she can’t get any other job than as someone who used to be on a wrestling show and even then gets turned away. I haven’t heard of such arrogance in a long time and it’s disgusting to me as a wrestling fan. I guess wrestling just isn’t as classy as a damsel in distress from a series who tells kids to eat their vegetables so they’ll get big and strong.

In short, get over yourself Julia Reilly. You’re not better than us and you likely never will be. I’m sorry that you think this is beneath you, because I assure you it isn’t.

WCW Saturday Night
Date: August 21, 1993
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This was my first request via Twitter. I don’t usually do Saturday Night but the few I’ve done have gone pretty well. This is less than a month before Fall Brawl 93 so we have two world titles at the moment. Both champions are in action tonight. One has a squash, and the other has a 40 minute match against the guy who is probably his greatest rival. Let’s get to it.

Also this is three days after Clash of the Champions 24 but it was taped earlier, so we likely won’t hear much about the Clash.

Sid Vicious/Harlem Heat vs. Ron Simmons/2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

Harlem Heat has been around like two weeks at this point. They’re Kane (Stevie) and Kole (Booker) at this point and all three heels are managed by Colonel Parker. This is just after the Heat were changed from prisoners in shackles won by Parker in a card game to street thugs. How did this company not get sued into the ground? Apparently the commentary was recorded after after the Clash or the results were given to Tony and Jesse beforehand.

Booker and Scorpio start things off with Scorpio countering a kick into a fast rollup for two. Off to Bagwell and the arm work begins. The ring is divided into sections, almost like a bunch of gym mats hooked together. Stevie comes in but Bagwell suplexes him over anyway. That’s more power than I was expecting out of him. Bagwell gets caught in a slam but an elbow misses. While the match isn’t that great, the commentary does offer a good line. Jesse: “Why do they call it an Irish Whip? Did someone from Ireland invent it?” Tony: “Uh yeah Jess.”

Off to Simmons to make it power vs. power. Stevie takes him down with a clothesline but Simmons comes back with a botched spinebuster, making it look more like a shove. The heels bail to the floor and things stop for a bit. Sid comes in and wants a test of strength with Simmons, but as any good heel would do, he kicks Simmons in the ribs instead of going through with the test. Ron is cool with that and it’s time to go after the arm. Considering it’s 1993 and this is Sid vs. Scorpio, 2 Cold is dropped face first onto the buckle pretty quickly and the bad guys take over.

The Heat double team Scorpio on the floor with a clothesline and it’s back in to Sid for a one armed chokeslam, which Tony says is like a powerbomb. Off to Booker who yells at the camera a lot and tags Stevie in again. We head to the floor and Scorpio is dropped throat first on the barricade, making him sound like a cat coughing up a hairball. Back in and Scorpio avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Bagwell to death for the pin.

Rating: C. Sid was on his way to the world title at this point and it’s pretty easy to see why. He was the perfect kind of monster giant and him vs. Vader could have been an awesome clash of the titans. Then he went insane stabbed Arn Anderson so we got Flair in the main event, which worked out fine. Harlem Heat would wind up being the most successful out of all these guys though, which shows you never know what you’ll get out of wrestlers.

The announcers talk about the Amateur Challenge, which is something kind of sort of like Tough Enough without an actual contest.

The Equalizer vs. Ron Preston

Equalizer is a big guy who would become “famous” as Dave “Evad” Sullivan. Here he’s just a big bad guy who didn’t really equalize anything. We have a two minute match here and about a minute of that is spent in a neck crank. Full nelson ends Preston.

We go to the Fall Brawl Control Center, which is the old way they used to promote the PPVs. Back then, they would actually take time to hype their matches and tell us why we should buy them, as opposed to today when they have both guys beat the other and then hope that gives us enough reason to want to see them fight a third time. We get some clips of past WarGames matches after the host of the segment says the wrong year for when the match started (it was 87, not 88).

Charlie Norris vs. Fury

So if you’ve read my stuff before from this time period, you know that I don’t really like WCW in 1993. Two of the big reasons for that are Equalizer and Charlie Norris. They were both big, strong, and absolutely AWFUL. Norris is an Indian and that’s about it. Norris hooks on an armbar as the match is ignored for the sake of talking about the PPV. In this case, I’m totally fine with that.

Fury, who is apparently part of a tag team called The Wrecking Crew, hits a clothesline and shoulder block before hooking a chinlock. Norris grabs a sunset flip for two before getting suplexed for the same. Back to the chinlock but Norris gets up, goes on the warpath, and hits a big chop for the pin. Fury by the way is Marcus Laurinitis, brother of John and Road Warrior Animal. He never did much of note.

Rating: D-. This was Norris’ Saturday Night debut, which basically would be his national debut. If that’s the case, why in the world would you have him get beaten down this long, and why would you have this match go nearly seven minutes? Like I said, 1993 in WCW was horrible and it would only go downhill from here for Norris.

We see Cactus Jack’s return promo from the Clash, which is him saying he’s back and he wants Vader. He talks about the look in the eyes of wrestlers when they face Vader. They used to look at him like that and he wants to earn that look again. This is another classic Jack promo.

Mike Thor vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd has been injured recently and is wearing a mask as a result, but tonight he’s removing it. Badd is still at the point where his character is gay but we can’t say he’s gay because it’s 1993 and you can’t do that. Johnny knocks him into the corner to start and then down onto the mat with a headlock. Off to the arm as Jesse tries to figure out what the B. in Badd’s name stands for. After some near falls, Badd takes the mask off and reveals that he’s fine before hitting the big left hand (the Tutti Fruti) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was about four minutes of armdrags and armbars. Badd would get WAY better around 1995 but he was still developing at this point. To be fair, he was a lot better than he was a year before this, as he now had an actual offensive move set outside of the punch. Also, Mike Thor is a good name for an indy guy.

Badd insists he’s still pretty.

Ice Train vs. Rage

This is Train’s debut and he has a guy named Thunderbolt Patterson with him. Fury is the tag partner of Rage from earlier. Nothing match that Train wins in less than a minute with a powerslam. I always liked Ice Train.

Patterson and Train say Train wants to learn and improve.

Big Van Vader vs. JD Stryker

Chokeslam, punch, powerbomb, pin.

Vader, the WCW Champion, and his manager Harley Race, say they don’t care about what happens in the main event. Race wants to talk about WarGames, where Vader is going to destroy everything. A mystery partner is mentioned, who was already revealed to be the Shockmaster.

So we have almost fifty minutes to go in the show and this is all we have left.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

I know why this was requested. This is one of those matches that is nearly impossible to screw up and you start at a higher rating than the usual. It’s not about will the match be good but how good will it be. A quick shoulder takes Flair down as Tony talks about the history of these two, without mentioning the original Clash for some reason. Sting wins a battle of a hammerlock as Tony messes up the date of the original Clash (he says April, it was March 27).

Sting controls with a wristlock on the champion (Flair has the belt coming in) and we’re still in the feeling out process here. Flair tries a Figure Four out of nowhere but Sting escapes before he gets close. Things speed up but they botch the gorilla press spot. Sting doesn’t panic though and throws on a chinlock, which is probably the best thing they could do in that situation. Now the press slam hits and Flair goes to the apron.

A suplex back in puts Flair down and there’s a Boston Crab. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything yet so he gets a rope and bails to the floor instead. Back in and Flair goes to the eyes before chopping away in the corner. Say it with me: those don’t work on Sting. A half crab works on Flair’s back again, followed by another gorilla press for two. Sting hooks an abdominal stretch and the champ is in trouble.

As is his custom, Sting misses the Splash in the corner and Sting gets his second wind. They head to the floor but Flair tries a piledriver and gets backdropped instead. Flair begs off in a corner and suckers Sting in like only Flair can do. Sting gets thrown to the floor but it just ticks him off. Flair fires off the chops but, say it with me, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING.

The champ begs off again and walks to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tony calls Sting Steamboat before Sting misses a splash on the top rope, clotheslining himself. There’s the knee drop to the head from Flair and the champ has his third wind. I don’t know what it is about them but Flair does some of the best snapmares ever. Flair rolls up Sting about six times in a row, all for two.

Ric is in full heel mode despite being a face coming in. A cover with the foot on the ropes gets one and a suplex gets about twelve. We take a break and come back to Sting making a comeback. During the break Sting rolled through a top rope cross body by Flair for two. Both guys are down for a bit before Flair hits a belly to back suplex for another few two counts. He must have had seventeen near falls so far.

Flair goes up top…..and the forearm off the top actually connects. You never know what you’ll find in these old shows. A sunset flip gets two for Sting as does a backslide. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and down to the floor he goes. Flair pokes him in the eye and goes up, only to get slammed down. It wouldn’t be a Flair match if that spot hadn’t happened. A clothesline gets a few two counts for Sting and he clotheslines Flair to the floor.

They head to the outside and Flair chops him against the railing. Even on the floor, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING. Back in and Flair backs off again and Sting escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two. Flair pokes him in the eye and there’s the Figure Four (complete with a Whomp There It Is chant from the audience for no apparent reason). That finally gets turned over but Flair gets the rope.

Sid comes out to the commentary desk for no apparent reason as Sting gets a small package for two but the knee is in big trouble. Sid says this should be his title match and talks about bees. Flair chops him again because at times he really isn’t that bright. The gorilla press hits and a bulldog puts Flair down. Another small package gets two for Sting as does an atomic drop.

Probably the fourth gorilla press puts Flair down but the splash hits knees. Sting comes back with a clothesline and puts the Figure Four on Flair. Flair gets the rope and they trade rollups for two again. For the fifth time the chops don’t work on Sting so he superplexes Flair down. Eventually that gets two and gorilla press #5 puts Flair down again. Flair cross bodies Sting to the floor and both guys are down. Sid sneaks in and sends Sting into the barricade to give Flair the win by countout.

Rating: B+. This is one of those matches that it’s pretty much impossible to get wrong. They were getting pretty repetitive at the end though, with way too many rollups and gorilla presses. The first half of the match was great though with Flair trying to get Sting to use energy and Sting working on the back to set up the Scorpion. The ending kind of sucks but they couldn’t put either guy over clean here so I can certainly live with that.

Flair freaks out on Sid but Harlem Heat runs in before there can be another fight. Sting saves Flair and they knock Sid to the floor.

Post break Flair and Sting say that sucked but they’ll get Sid and the Heat later.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two hour show and 1/3 of that is Sting vs. Flair for forty minutes. The rest of the show was standard 1993 WCW nonsense that no one wanted to see, but for free TV on their flagship show, this was pretty awesome stuff at the end. I don’t have anything else to say: it’s Flair vs. Sting for forty minutes. That sums everything up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I was watching a Flair match and he put his feet on the ropes on a cover.  It wasn’t the end of the match, it wasn’t a plot point, it was nothing more than a regular cover.  However, it got the fans to boo him louder and cheer for his opponent more.  Flair did that because he’s a heel and that’s what heels do.  Today, the only time you see something like that is to end a match and advance a plot.  During matches, heels glare at crowds and that’s about it for the most part.

See how easy it is to make thing better?

TNA Weekly PPV #5
Date: July 17, 2002
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

It’s another TNA show here and we’re continuing some interesting stuff from last week in the form of the Disciples coming after Jarrett. On top of that, we have Hall vs. Lawler tonight in the main event. Uh…did I mention we have the Disciples coming after Jarrett? We also have an adult star in a match as well as midgets. Can’t you tell how overjoyed I am? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Jarrett’s path of rage over the first four episodes.

During the week, Shamrock snapped on Goldilocks and offers to beat her up. That’s pretty out of character for him.

We cut to the back where Hall and Jarrett are fighting. Security finally breaks it up and we’re told that Jarrett (wasn’t he suspended last week?) is out of his #1 contenders ladder match with Malice.

Here are the Disciples and Mitchell with the latter having a mic in the ring. He issues an open challenge to face Malice in the ladder match for the title shot. The lights go out and we have an opponent.

Malice vs. Sabu

Sabu goes right for him and gets in some good shots before running into an elbow from Malice to take him down. This is a ladder match remember. A chair is thrown in to Malice but Sabu channels his inner Raven and drop toeholds him onto it. There are two pelts of the chair to Malice’s head (love that move) but Air Sabu is caught in the corner into a backbreaker. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope by another of the Disciples and there goes Sabu’s head into it.

Malice gets thrown to the floor and gets a ladder and because he’s not that bright, holds it in front of his face so Sabu can hit a baseball slide into the ladder into Malice’s head. Air Sabu over the top takes Malice out but Sabu has to fight off Tempest before going after Malice again. Sabu sets up a table because he’s, you know, Sabu, but Malice hits him before he can use it.

Sabu gets dropped face first onto the ladder which busts him open. The ladder is set up in the corner and Malice splashes Sabu against it before hitting a World’s Strongest Slam on both Sabu and the ladder at the same time. Sabu rams Malice with the ladder as he won’t stay down at all. To be fair, that’s Sabu’s trait so it’s not as big of a deal. A climb doesn’t work for Sabu and Malice hits a release belly to belly on Sabu onto the ladder. Malice still can’t get to the contract because as always in ladder matches, people only stay down for about 20 seconds at a time.

Malice misses a charge into the ladder in the corner and Air Sabu hits this time, driving Malice into the ladder again. Sabu goes up but the ladder gets kicked out from underneath him. A chair to the face slows Malice down but Sabu walks into a spinebuster to take him down again. Malice goes up and there’s the big shove off to put him through that table at ringside. That’s good enough to let Sabu get the contract and the title show.

Rating: B. Considering this was Sabu vs. The Wall, this was a miracle. They went with the spotfest formula here and it worked well in this case. Sabu hit most of his spots and some of the bumps looked good. I was digging the Sabu vs. the army of Disciples here and the match was a great surprise.

The Disciples destroy Sabu post match and Malice chokeslams him through a table.

Here’s AJ with something to say. He calls out his partner Jerry Lynn and they yell at each other a bit. Lynn talks about how many years he’s been wrestling (Tenay: “THAT’S A SHOOT!” Well yeah I guess but that’s not exactly a shocking statement) and asks how long AJ has been wrestling and what he’s accomplished. Lynn doesn’t like AJ stealing all the glory. Jerry goes to leave but gets kicked in the head (in an interesting note, that’s exactly what happened on Raw last night) and AJ hits the Styles Clash.

We recap St. Claire’s striptease from last week before going to Jasmine in the bathroom. Francine runs in and jumps her, leaving her laying as a result.

Here’s K-Krush for a chat. Krush says everyone needs to look at him because he looks like a star, he sounds like a star and he even smells like a star. So why isn’t he the biggest star in this business? Why did WWE let him go? It’s because he was going to become the hottest star in the company but they didn’t want something they were afraid of. Now he’s going to go to the top of the mountain. The fans seem to like what they’re hearing here a lot. He says he’s the Truth.

K-Krush vs. Norman Smiley

Krush jumps him before the bell but Smiley comes back with some Tough Enough level offense and some dancing. A slam puts Krush down and it’s the BIG WIGGLE! Basically it’s simulated anal sex but much more humorous. Krush avoids a clothesline and kicks Norman’s head off to take over. When all else fails, hit him in the face. Krush pounds away but Smiley grabs a belly to back suplex to put him down. That gets him nowhere though as Krush hits him in the ribs again and a sitout gordbuster gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an interesting time for Krush as he would get very popular all of a sudden before being turned face by the crowd reactions alone. This would all happen in the span of like three weeks no matter what he did to get on the nerves of the fans. The match was nothing but an extended squash.

Post match Krush whips Smiley with a belt and hangs him. Smiley’s wife waddles out and gets choked as well.

Puppet the midget is in a trash can and doesn’t want to talk. Somehow this takes 90 seconds. We pan over to the Dupps who are playing with fire. This would be the dumb parts of the show I’ve been telling you about.

Flying Elvises vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper

It’s a brawl to start and a member of each team is sent to the floor. The two in the ring both head to the floor very quickly with Skipper hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Siaki and Skipper get us going to start and scratch the Siaki half as it’s off to Estrada. Skipper is in trouble so Siaki drops to the floor and jumps in on commentary. He brags a bit before taking his shirt off and taking a tag.

It’s been all Elvises so far and an old A-Train over the shoulder backbreaker gets two. Back to Estrada as Siaki gets on commentary again. Estrada puts Skipper in a Razor’s Edge position and sits out into a kind of powerbomb for two. Skipper gets in a dropkick and it’s off to Daniels. Daniels and Skipper are the good guys here but they’re not really thrilling the crowd so far.

Things speed up and Daniels fires off clotheslines and dropkicks all around before Estrada suplexes him down to shift the momentum again. With Daniels on all fours, Skipper runs in, springboards off him, onto Estrada’s shoulders and then onto Siaki for a rana. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Daniels on Estrada as this has picked up VERY quickly. Estrada comes back with a middle rope legdrop for two and it’s back to Siaki.

An enziguri puts Jorge (Estrada) down and it’s a double tag to bring in Skipper and Siaki. A belly to belly puts Estrada down and a floatover double underhook suplex gets two. Estrada comes back with an X Factor for two as this is slowing down a bit again. Daniels comes back in for the BME for two on Estrada and a missile dropkick from Skipper gets two on Siaki. The Play of the Day puts Estrada down but Siaki comes in and hits a rolling suplex into a neckbreaker for the pin on Skipper.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for a spot fest, but it ran a bit longer than it needed to. On top of that, at the end of the day your X Division heels are called the Flying Elvises. They’re in the white Elvis suits but other than that, there’s nothing Elvis related about them. The name is too distracting for it to be such a small part of the gimmick and it’s making them more of a joke than a threat.

The Dupps come out and hit Estrada with some boards post match. Siaki bails and lets Estrada get destroyed.

K-Krush says nothing before Hall jumps him and beats him down.

Puppet vs. Meatball

Meatball was on Hogan’s Micro Championships Wrestling. This is a hardcore match and Meatball brings a bag of Doritos with him. Oh this is going to be painful. Puppet blasts him with a trashcan to start but he pulls up at a two count. A modified Van Daminator puts Meatball down and we head to the floor. Meatball picks him up and takes him to a shopping cart….and it’s full of food. I’ll sum up the next fer minutes: pie, eggs, pineapple, sugar, watermelon. Another Van Daminator (without the chair actually hitting Meatball) puts him down and this needs to end now. Puppet wins with a Vader Bomb onto a chair.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling, not stupid freak show comedy. Thankfully this was the last week of this nonsense.

Another midget simulates sex with one of the cage dancers.

Jasmine St. Claire vs. Francine

Oh geez it just keeps going. It’s a catfight, clothes are ripped off, Francine wins by DQ in like 80 seconds when Blue Meanie comes in and DDTs Francine. I don’t think either girl appeared for the company again.

Francine is taken out on a stretcher.

Low Ki has nothing to say.

We get some highlights of Low Ki and AJ’s finishers.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

Ki won this shot last week in the elimination match. They take it to the mat very quickly and Low Ki fires off some chops. That gets him nowhere so it turns into a kick fest. Low Ki takes him down by the leg and it’s off to a front facelock. A fan with a sign is being taken out so the match slows down a lot so the fans don’t miss anything. AJ avoids a kick and dropkicks Low Ki down a few times.

Low Ki kicks AJ in the head and out to the apron. You may notice multiple variations of the word “kick” a lot in this match. I’m not saying Low Ki can’t do much other than kick…..actually yeah I am. It’s like 75% of his offense and it gets pretty repetitive. Low Ki gets sent to the floor but Styles misses an Asai Moonsault. Styles gets on the apron and Low Ki hits a standing enziguri to kick him back into the ring. They both head to the apron and strike it out before Low Ki hooks the Dragon Clutch (a version of the Dragon Sleeper) on the apron.

Back in the ring AJ elbows him down for two. Powerslam gets two for the champion as does a brainbuster. AJ goes up and after blocking a superplex, he fires off the Spiral Tap but Low Ki moves and gets two. The Ki Crusher 99 (modified fisherman’s buster) is countered into a DDT but Styles can’t cover. Low Ki sends him into the corner and after a cartwheel, he stops, jumps in the air and kicks AJ in the head. Low Ki goes up and tries some flip into a rana but gets (mostly) caught in the Clash to keep the belt on Styles.

Rating: C+. I do not like Low Ki or Senshi or Kaval or whatever Japanese sounding name he has this week. We get it: you can throw a freaking kick, NOW DO SOMETHING ELSE. It’s that same nonsense that made me sick of ROH and Davey Richards and it drives me crazy when Low Ki does it here. Throw a freaking suplex or something already.

As Styles leaves, Lynn pops up and blasts him. Back to the ring a ladder is set up and Styles gets thrown into it via a suplex (paying attention Low Ki?). He throws Styles around a bit more and leaves him laying with a Cradle Piledriver. They defend the titles next week.

Sabu has asked for the world title match next week to be a ladder match. Shamrock said ok but the NWA has decided it’s ladder or submission. Sure why not.

Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall

Before the match Lawler cuts his usual Memphis heel promo which doesn’t do anything for fans outside of Memphis. He runs down Jerry Lawler, talking about the number of marriages Jerry has had. There was a ticket left for Jerry tonight but apparently he’s at a high school trying to lure underage girls to him. Oh give me a break. Hall finally cuts him off….or at least his music does. Lawler talks about Hall a bit but Hall is behind him as you would expect. Hall stands behind him for almost two minutes before Lawler notices.

Hall finally decks him and Lawler goes to the floor. This has all taken nearly ten minutes before we finally get Lawler thrown onto the announce table. We head up the ramp with Lawler getting punched down again and again. Lawler finally gets in a right hand and they head into the ring. After some punches in the corner, a suplex gets two for Lawler. This guy is AWFUL as a heel in the ring.

They head to the floor for Lawler to run his mouth to the crowd before heading back in for a slugout. A superkick puts Hall down and it’s goggles time. Like any heel worth anything though, Lawler takes too long going up and gets slammed down. There’s the fallaway slam and a belly to back superplex but K-Krush runs in to break up the Edge. That’s not a DQ for some reason and the Edge gets the pin on Lawler.

Rating: D. Brian Lawler is a very boring wrestler as a heel. He’s a master of the Memphis style but sweet goodness it does not work on a national stage. This was a nine minute match with about three minutes worth of offense. The main event stuff on this show is driving me insane but it should crank up in a few weeks.

Krush and Lawler beat down Hall and choke him with the belt from earlier. Hall is taken out on a stretcher but Jarrett sneaks in as a paramedic and beats up Hall with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was about setting up for the future and that’s fine. There are still some major problems, but thankfully the midgets and the girls would be gone after this week. The other big problem is the main event feud with Hall as the top face of the company. Hall in that role is ok for the most part but Lawler just isn’t doing it for me at all. The problem is mainly that with Shamrock as the world champion having random matches, there’s really no reason for Hall to be fighting these three guys. Without spoiling too much, that’ll change soon. Decent show this week as the problems are starting to be solved.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and nothing of note has changed. Punk is still champion, Lesnar beat up HHH as we expected him to, and there isn’t much else to talk about. Things will start to die down now as they always do in the fall but hopefully things aren’t all that bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Heyman brags for Lesnar about making HHH tap last night. Apparently that means that HHH quit on all of the fans because he couldn’t survive Lesnar. It’s HHH’s fault though because he told the referee to not stop the match no matter what happened and that’s what happened. Heyman asks the referee to come down here to be addressed by Brock.

Lesnar gets in the referee’s face and pulls Armstrong to himself, before saying good job. Heyman says Lesnar is the new king of kings. He’s the master of the Brocktogon and the conqueror of the WWE Universe.

Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes

Kofi and Young start us off with Darren being in trouble early. The champs’ team clears the ring and we take a break. Back with Truth coming in to punch Young a bit more. Ax kick hits and Khloe Kardashian is the social media ambassador tonight. Good grief. Off to Cody who comes in with a release gordbuster on Truth to take over. Titus comes in with the neck crank on Truth as things slow down.

O’Neal barks which is called the Q Bark now apparently. He suplexes Young onto Truth for two which is a takeoff on the Hart Foundation’s slam version back in the day. Off to a bodyscissors from Young followed by a chinlock from Titus. Kofi seems to have disappeared. Cara snaps off some ranas to clear the ring and Kofi dives on the Players. I guess he didn’t disappear. Back in the ring Cody goes for the mask but gets rolled up by Cara for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was a bit slow but I have no problem with combining a few feuds. That being said, why are the Players facing Kingston and Truth still? They lost twice already, clean both times I believe. Anyway, Cara continues to look good as they keep him in short bursts. A feud for the mask is fine but wasn’t that what his first feud was for? Anyway this was decent.

AJ is in the back when Otunga returns. He offers his services and she gets mad for some reason, giving him a match against a mystery opponent. Otunga leaves and AJ responds to a Tout from Punk earlier, where he said he wanted to name his own number one contender. That’s cool with AJ, but she has final say over it.

Ryback vs. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez

One step forward, two steps back for Ryback. Ryback hits three powerbombs on let’s say Andy. He shouts for Jinder and loads up the double Shell Shocked when Mahal comes in for the DQ at 1:29.

Ryback puts on the Clutch but gets destroyed anyway. The jobbers get beaten up too.

Dolph comes up to Jericho in the back and Jericho lists off his names. AJ comes in and makes a rematch between the two, with the obvious stipulation of Case vs. job.

Here’s Del Rio to say exactly what you would expect him to say. We get stills of him having the foot on the ropes, he wants a rematch, we’re all going to be bored. Cue AJ who says that’s not her territory but Del Rio can have a match here instead.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Before the bell and after a break, here’s Sheamus to join the fun. Orton dropkicks Alberto down for two almost immediately and hooks a chinlock. A slingshot suplex puts Del Rio down and there’s the Circle Stomp and kneedrop for two. Del Rio comes back with a knee and a chinlock for the sake of calling some spots. He mocks Orton’s mat smacking and goes up for some reason, only to get superplexed down for two. They slug it out from their knees with the Viper taking over.

After the clotheslines from Orton he loads up the Elevated DDT, only for Del Rio to escape and hit an enziguri. A charge from Del Rio is caught and Orton hooks his backbreaker. After a pair of kicks to the arm it’s apparently time for the armbreaker (he should just call it Destiny) but Orton counters into a neckbreaker for two. The Elevated DDT out of the corner gets no cover as Orton loads up the RKO. Ricardo comes in but Sheamus and a glare from Orton stops him. Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two as Sheamus points out the feet being on the rope to the referee. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and hopefully it sets up a triple threat instead of another one on one match. Orton is in the kind of position where he can be thrown into a match like that and lose without it hurting him at all. He can add a lot to the match though, especially some fresh blood to a boring feud between Sheamus and Del Rio. Decent enough match here.

Punk says there was no controversy to his win last night. He still wants respect.

We get a Tout from Antonio Cesaro and Aksana in the ring after winning the title last night.

Here’s the video on the stuff WWE did in LA this past week.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

The intellectual says he’s going to send the Funkasaurus back into extinction. That’s quite the mind. Sandow sends him into the corner but the power game takes over for Brodus. He backdrops Damien and dances a bit. Sandow gets slammed down again and an elbow keeps him down. Daniem tries to go after the knee of Brodus which has been bad for weeks now. That gets him nowhere other than put in the corner where Brodus does Big Show’s gyrating hip attack. A running headbutt to the chest puts Sandow down again but a splash misses in the corner and Sandow rolls him up with tights for the pin at 2:40.

We go to Shawn Michaels in San Antonio. He says he was watching last night and talks about how it may have been the end for HHH. Shawn says you can prepare yourself for the end of your career but when it hits, you can’t be ready for it. HHH left it all in the ring last night and couldn’t get it done, so maybe his career is over. Shawn says that he was another distraction to HHH and if he had been in HHH’s corner, maybe he would have won. HHH is one of the best ever and Shawn we all love him.

David Otunga vs. Big Show

Total dominance by Show who is wrestling more like a face here. He fires off some knees to the head of Otunga and hits the Eye of the Hurricane (I think Show called it the Final Cut back in the day but I’m not sure) before finishing with the WMD at 2:07.

Earlier today Show ranted about the match last night.

Kane/Zach Ryder vs. The Miz/Daniel Bryan

The idea is that the partners have had issues in the past. That’s an understatement. They do acknowledge the issues Kane and Ryder have had which is a big help. Ryder gets in the ring very slowly and doesn’t look happy at all. Bryan starts with Kane but Bryan tags out less than two seconds in. We get a DANIEL BRYAN chant as it’s off to Ryder. There were two tags within the first fifteen seconds.

A middle rope dropkick sends Miz into the corner but Miz kicks Ryder in the face to escape. Bryan comes in and the place ERUPTS. He stomps on Ryder while taunting him about making a tag. Back to Miz who pulls on Ryder’s face and hits a neckbreaker for two. Back to Bryan who fires off some kicks in the corner. Bryan accidentally runs into Miz, allowing Kane to get the tag.

Miz won’t tag in now so it’s Bryan vs. Kane. Daniel’s solution? Slap the monster. Bryan runs into the crowd and Miz leaves too. Kane chokeslams Ryder for old times’ sake and beats up the steps and table. The timekeeper gets thrown around and Ryder gets a tombstone. Does Vince have some kind of fetish for seeing Kane beat him up? We’ll say the match ended at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much here but unfortunately it doesn’t set up Miz vs. Ryder for the IC Title which would have been a good short feud for both guys. Kane and Bryan both having anger management issues could be interesting, although I hope it doesn’t wind up being about Charlie Sheen as the dynamic there would be weird.

Cena won’t say Punk is best in the world.

Punk says that he picks John Cena for his #1 contender if Cena will accept a condition. It’s not particularly stated but the condition seems to be that Cena has to respect him.

Divas Battle Royal

This is for the #1 contendership. I think there are seven in this and I’m not going to bother listing them. Aksana and Rosa go out at the same time and we have Eve, Tamina, Alicia, Natalya and Kaitlyn in there still. I didn’t see Beth or Kelly in at all. Kaitlyn is sent to the apron but Tamina drags her back in for no apparent reason.

Eve is down in the corner and talking to a referee about something. Tamina and Natalya double team various people but they don’t eliminate anyone. Alicia dropkicks them to the apron but both get back in. Natalya gets sent to the floor by missing a charge, Tamina superkicks Alicia out and Kaitlyn throws out Tamina. Eve gets up but can’t get Kaitlyn out so Kaitlyn clotheslines her out to win at 4:10.

Rating: D. It was longer than it needed to be, it was boring, and the two most famous Divas weren’t in it. I guess this sets up the match at Night of Champions which is as good a way as anything else to get us to that. Nothing to see here though as the Divas are just worthless other than looking good.

After a recap of the opening segment, we see a Tout from Lesnar saying he’s done with WWE because he’s accomplished everything he wanted to here. Winning one match was his whole list?

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Daniel Bryan has to go to anger management classes, which gives us a way to talk about the WWE App for Android.

Vickie yells at Dolph about AJ. Dolph says this is about him tonight and not Vickie. Vickie freaks out again and Dolph says he’ll win. He leaves her in the locker room.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Contract vs. MITB Case here. Jericho gets a quick rollup to start and Dolph bails to the floor. Back in and Jericho grabs another rollup for the same result. A missile dropkick puts Ziggler down and Jericho backdrops him out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts Dolph out there again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and doing the handstand. Jericho finally escapes and takes Ziggler down with a shoulder.

A top rope double ax gets two as does what was supposed to be a rana but Jericho’s legs wound up under Ziggler’s legs. That could work as another move in its own right. Ziggler grabs a jumping DDT to put Jericho down and the match slows a bit. Fameasser misses and but Jericho can’t hook the Walls. Small package gets two for Ziggler but the Zig Zag is countered. The Lionsault hits knees and the Zig Zag gets rid of Jericho at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from these two, although I’m not sure if last night’s result was the right call now. Wouldn’t it be better to have Jericho lose “the big one” last night and put up his job for a final chance to win? On the other hand, the win last night made Ziggler look like he was in a lot more jeopardy tonight so it’s hard to say. Actually the right call would have been to have these stips last night, but that’s too much foresight so we got this instead, which was still fine. The ending was never in doubt though as we knew Jericho was leaving.

Ziggler celebrates a lot post match but Jericho takes the case from Vickie. He hits Ziggler with it a few times and hits a Codebreaker for good measure. That’s a pretty heelish exit after he lost completely clean.

Here’s Punk to close the show. He goes to Lawler and wants an apology for Lawler saying that Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe. Before he can get that, here’s Cena. Punk is annoyed that Cena came out early because he’s stealing the spotlight again. He’s tired of taking a backseat to Cena and Rock and everyone else. Punk has done it out of respect but he’s never gotten any respect back.

He’s tired of walking through airports and having people saying “what’s up champ, why weren’t you in the main event?” Punk says that he respects Cena and allows him to go on last, drawing a CM Punk chant. Punk talks about beating Cena twice last year for the title and for beating him last night for the title again. Last year he had to hold the company up to get some respect. Cena is the #1 contender now because Punk has to beat him again to get respect.

Punk talks about looking into the crowd and seeing all of the green (Cena’s current colors in case it’s 2017 or something). He wants Cena to say he respects Punk because the people will follow whatever Cena says. The title shot is his if he’ll say Punk is the best in the world. That line gave me flashbacks to Jesus in the wilderness with Satan. Cena talks about how he believes in the people and how he has to believe in himself. Based on that, he can’t say it because he doesn’t believe it. He says he believed in everything he said leading up to the match with Rock and if he gets a rematch he’ll say it again.

Punk has held the title for nine months and all anyone remembers is him blowing a kiss to Vince (which was before this title reign but you get the point). Cena will not say Punk is the best in the world but he’s giving Punk another option: he’s offering Punk vindication. If Punk can beat Cena in Cena’s hometown, that will prove he’s the best in the world. If Punk won’t do it, Cena has no respect for him. With that, Cena leaves Punk in the middle of the ring alone.

Punk immediately turns to Lawler and says he wants an apology right now. He demands an apology because he never turned his back on the WWE Universe as Lawler said he did. Lawler gets in the ring and says it’s a misunderstanding but apologizes. He goes to leave but Punk stops him. If Cena won’t say Punk is the best in the world, the people will believe Lawler, as he’s the minister of propaganda for the WWE. Lawler thinks but he can’t say it. He goes to leave again and Punk kicks him in the head. Punk stares down as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. There was something very important tonight that has been missing from Raw lately: there was a clear direction. Tonight we had I believe three potential matches set up for Night of Champions. Everything on the show seemed to have a point and that kept things from dragging. This was a decent show and I liked it more than most of the recent episodes, which is a good sign as we’re in a new period of the year. Cena and Punk are channeling Savage vs. Hogan in 88/89 when the Mega Powers Exploded and that sounds awesome.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara b. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes – Rollup to Rhodes

Ryback b. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD

Kaitlyn won a battle royal last eliminating Eve

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews