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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2012
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final Raw before Summerslam and the card is mostly set. The word on the street is that there’s something big planned for tonight but there’s no word on what that is. The other interesting thing is that Del Rio vs. Sheamus has been canceled (in a TOUT of course) by Booker due to Del Rio’s attack on Sheamus last week. It may be interesting to see where that goes. Yes, the Smackdown title may be interesting. Let’s get to it.

CM Punk vs. Big Show

Yes we’re opening the show with a match. Hopefully this keeps things lively tonight. Punk charges at him and is knocked down almost immediately. Punk comes back with some forearms but he’s going to have to use speed rather than brawn here. Show chops him in the corner and stands on Punk’s head. As that’s going on, there’s something I’d like to talk about for a bit. On commentary, Cole is talking about the length of Punk’s reign, the size of Big Show, what the wrestlers have been up to lately, what titles Big Show has won and all that jazz. What is he not really talking about? What we’re seeing in the ring.

It’s like that’s secondary to every other thing they can think of to talk about. Instead of the wrestling being the focus, it’s as if they’re trying to give us every other reason to care about things. It’s like talking about all the features of a cell phone and all the internet and data capabilities it has but not mentioning that you can make calls on it. That’s kind of the most important thing.

Speaking of the match, Show works on the arm but misses a charge in the corner. Punk hits the running knee but, say it with me, the bulldog is countered. Show spears Punk down….and here’s Daniel Bryan. He yells about how he should be in the title match as Show hits a side slam for two. He loads up the Vader Bomb but Punk takes out the leg. The springboard clothesline gets two and Bryan runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: C+. I like it when these two go at it. Punk knows how to have a match with big men and it worked here. There’s something about the way Show sells that running knee in the corner that makes it look awesome. Good stuff here even though it didn’t have a lot of time. When you can drag a good match out of Show, that’s saying a lot.

Bryan puts Punk in the NO Lock but Show breaks it up for no apparent reason. Cena comes out to save Punk and clears the ring. AJ comes out and makes the obvious tag for later in the show.

We’re on a break now and I’d like to address the glaring problem with Raw right now: what is new here? It’s the same stuff but with different faces (and that’s a stretch) in the old roles. AJ is standard GM #85 (the Skipping Model), we have three guys fighting over a title with more or less no personal issues, and those three plus a fourth guy are in a tag match to end the show before the PPV. How many times have you seen that EXACT same scenario?

Back and JTG is ranting to Kaitlyn about not having a match when AJ skips by. She puts him in a match with someone. Gee, I wonder who that’ll be. We’ll be RI ght BACK to the arena in a bit to find out. Kaitlyn and AJ have a weird moment that I don’t think anyone cares about.

JTG vs. Ryback

I was right before I even had time to think about it. Ryback has new music with the FEED ME MORE lines in the song now. The fans are getting into this FEED ME MORE chant. You know what might be interesting? Given the reactions Ryback has been getting, hot shot him to the world title. Seriously, what do you have to lose? Ryback is a monster, he’s getting bigger and bigger reactions every week, and he’s been around the main event before. I’m not saying it’ll be successful, but it would be an interesting way of shaking things up. It worked pretty well for Sheamus a few years ago. Anyway JTG gets Shell Shocked and pinned at 1:54.

You can vote for who you want to see in Piper’s Pit tonight: Jericho, Ziggler or Miz.

Santino defends against Cesaro on Sunday.

Piper is in the back sounding drunk and asking who will be in the Pit. He asks someone off screen who he thinks will be in the Pit and Shawn Michaels is next to him. Shawn is worried about Lesnar tonight and he gets a call from presumably HHH who is going to be getting here late tonight.

Heath Slater vs. R-Truth

Now there’s an odd pairing. Truth/Kofi vs. the Prime Time Players on Sunday. Truth starts with his usual stuff but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater puts on a chinlock but Truth shrugs him off and hits Little Jimmy for the pin at 1:44.

The Players run out for the 2-1 beatdown because Kofi is in China still.

Mark Henry was in London for the Olympics.

Pauly D from Jersey Shore is the social media ambassador tonight.

We recap the Del Rio vs. Sheamus feud and we see the incident from Friday where Sheamus was attacked by fake cops, which is why the title match was cancelled.

Sin Cara vs. Tensai

Tensai tries a powerbomb but Cara rolls into a sunset flip position which doesn’t work either. Tensai takes his head off but his Vader Bomb misses. Cara hits a Swanton to the back of Tensai and an enziguri to both him and Sakamoto. A tornado DDT out of the corner gets the pin on Tensai at 1:06. Tensai HAS TO be done after that.

Tensai hits a Baldo Bomb and backsplash on Sakamoto post match.

Shawn asks someone to let him know if they see Brock.

Time for Piper’s Pit and Lawler has to be there with him to keep this logical. To the shock of no one paying attention, Jericho wins the vote by a landslide. Piper tells the fans to quit cheering Jericho for some reason. They talk about Wrestlemania 25 and the three on one handicap match they were on opposite sides in but Piper doesn’t remember any of it. Piper talks about the fans starting to cheer for Jericho and says on Sunday it’s about some fan in the front row in a red shirt.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but THANKFULLY Vickie comes in to break this up. She brigns out Ziggler who rips into Roddy and his tired old routine. Ziggler says Jericho is headed for the same place Piper is in, but Jericho counters by making a hair joke and telling Vickie to shut up. Jericho says he’ll win the big one Sunday….and here’s Miz. He has a tiny mustache now and says he’s taking over this show. Dolph can be the guest but Piper and Jericho need to leave now. Piper FREAKS and a brawl breaks out.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

This was made during the break apparently. The heels go after Jericho to start but he fights them both off with ease. Ziggler gets sent to the floor so Jericho chops away at Miz. Dolph trips Jericho up and comes back in for some stomping. Jericho gets double teamed a bit and things slow down. A double suplex puts the Canadian down and Ziggler drops the big jumping elbow.

A second elbow gets two but Miz breaks it up. It’s time for the heels to fight as per custom in matches like these which allows Jericho to get up and clean house. Both heels are sent to the floor and Jericho dives out on top of them. He stands on the announce table and I’m so glad Jericho is a good guy again. I’ve always liked him better that way. Ziggler is sent back into the ring but he knocks Jericho into the announce table as we take a break.

Back with Miz kneeing Jericho down as Jericho tries a comeback. Miz vs. Mysterio on Sunday for the IC Title. Miz stays on the back of Jericho as Ziggler is nowhere in sight. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Miz’s corner clothesline misses. Ziggler finally gets on the apron but Jericho dropkicks him down. Jericho hits the bulldog on Miz but the Lionsault only gets two as Ziggler comes back in.

Miz gets crotched on the top as Ziggler is sent to the floor by the Canadian. A superplex by Jericho is evolved into the Tower of Doom with Miz taking the worst of it. Dolph covers Jericho for two. The Fameasser gets the same and the fans are getting into these kickouts. Ziggler loads up something on Jericho but Miz runs in and hits the Finale on Ziggler….for two.

Jericho counters a reverse DDT on Miz but the Walls are broken up as well. A big boot takes Jericho down but Ziggler breaks up a cover. Dolph walks into a Codebreaker that gets two as Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes. Jericho escapes a Final and puts Miz in the Walls. Miz taps but Vickie has the referee. Ziggler comes in and hits the Zig Zag on Jericho for the pin at 14:15.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this at the end. After the commercial this got WAY better after a slow start. I was thinking Miz would win here and he probably should have to keep him looking strong going into a title defense on Sunday, but at least he didn’t lose. This was a very fast paced match and I had no idea who was going to win by the end. Good stuff.

Eve hits on Punk but Punk says he’s the same guy he’s always been. Eve says no one believes he’s changed, especially Cena. Punk says he’ll go tell Cena himself. Eve has an evil smile as he leaves.

We get a LONG recap of the stuff that opened the show and led to the tag main event.

Shawn is panicking about Brock showing up when Cena taps him on the shoulder. Shawn says he’s fine and walks away. Punk walks up to Cena and says that being champion means everything, but he’s not a phony and isn’t going to say he likes a match that he doesn’t. Punk swears he won’t stab anyone in the back and he’ll make sure that tonight is all about him.

Wade Barrett is coming back.

Kaitlyn/Layla vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix

Layla, who is still Divas Champion despite not being on TV in months, starts with Beth and they almost immediately botch a rollup. Layla gets rammed into the corner and it’s off to Eve who is put in a sloppy side roll for two. The champ “hits” a bouncing cross body, giving us some great visuals from behind her. Eve drops down and it’s time for the champion to dance. Off to Kaitlyn who gets a suplex for two but Eve starts pounding on her to take over. Back to Beth who cleans house and knocks Layla off the apron so she can choke Kaitlyn in the corner. An over the shoulder body vice is escaped and an O’Connor Roll pins Beth at 4:17.

Rating: D. This was a longer version of a bad Divas match. I have no idea why the title exists anymore but I’d assume there will be a match thrown in on Summerslam with Beth challenging because that’s all that ever happens anymore. Nothing to see here although I wouldn’t complain about looking at Layla in those pink shorts again. To be fair, at least we now know that single named Divas are better than full named ones.

Video on Lesnar vs. HHH.

Big Show/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

It’s not even 10pm yet and it’s main event time? A BIG YES chant starts things off, as does Bryan vs. Cena. Punk makes a blind tag after Cena knocks Bryan down and Cena isn’t pleased with it. Show wants in but Bryan wants the champ instead. Bryan gets taken to the mat and it’s back to Cena. Show wants in again but gets a few NO’S. Cena gets some impressive height on a leapfrog and dropkicks Bryan down.

Punk tries to tag himself in but Cena avoids it in a somewhat funny bit. Off to Show who pounds Cena down and does it again with a shoulder as we take a break. Back with Show hitting a charge in the corner to Cena. Cena charges into a bearhug but Bryan tags himself in while cena is in the hold. The fans go NUTS for Bryan again. Bryan misses a running dropkick in the corner and it’s off to Punk who hits his usual, culminating with a neckbreaker for two.

Back to Show who works on the ribs a bit, followed by the big chop against the ropes. The champ gets put in a bearhug but some elbows to the head break the hold. The comeback ends almost immediately due to a backdrop from Show, who then walks over the back of Punk. Punk tries to fight out of the corner but Bryan won’t let him use the WMD. The reactions for Bryan are mind blowing.

Show is walking away as Bryan hits the NO Kicks. Punk kicks Bryan down and looks at Cena but he doesn’t tag. Instead Punk uses Cena’s finishing sequence on Bryan but Cena tags himself in before the Shuffle. Cena hits the corner clothesline and bulldog, but Punk walks away with the title. Bryan tries to steal a pin but walks into the AA for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: B-. This was another fun match and there was some interesting psychology going on out there. When you have no idea who is going to do what in a match, that’s always a good sign. Punk doing the Cena imitation at the end was great stuff and it would lead to a great match between the two of them on Sunday. Unfortunately Show is in it also, which brings it down a peg. Still though, good tag match here.

Post match Punk saves Cena from an attack by Show, but Cena won’t shake Punk’s hand.

In the back, Punk says Cena went into business for himself and wouldn’t shake the champ’s hand. On Sunday, Punk will teach Cena some respect.

Brock and Heyman are here.

Christian vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow goes after him to start but Christian takes over with a shot in the corner. A right hand to the head sets up the jumping back elbow off the middle rope for no cover. Sandow bails before the Killswitch can be set up and they heads to the floor, where Christian is rammed about seven times into the steps. Cue Brodus who is in a cast from the attack last week. The distraction lets Christian roll Sandow up for two. Sandow hits his neckbreaker for the clean win at 2:11.

Shawn is still looking around every corner before he finally runs into Brock. Shawn walks away and nothing is said. Brock looks….pleased?

Here are Heyman and Lesnar. HHH still isn’t here due to flight delays and Lesnar buys that, because HHH wants the match very badly. Heyman is doing all the talking here of course. This was supposed to be the contract signing in case you were confused. Heyman says this is a very personal fight for HHH and therefore, there’s a letter of indemnification, which means if Lesnar hurts HHH, HHH has no legal recourse. You’ll get an uncomfortable beating on Sunday rather than a wrestling match.

Now on to Shawn, who Lesnar confirms is in the arena. Heyman calls Shawn out as a surrogate for the Game but apparently Shawn is afraid. Heyman says that everyone in Texas is a coward and that brings Shawn out. Paul says he’ll accept Shawn’s signature in place of HHH’s but Shawn won’t sign. HHH finally arrives, taking his suit off as he comes to the ring. After a staredown, HHH signs. Neither member of DX has said anything yet. Lesnar signs and leaves.

We get some TOUTS because what would Raw be without them?

HBK isn’t sure if HHH can win, but he’ll be in the Game’s corner.

Show says what happened means nothing for the match on Sunday. We cut over to two cars colliding and see Shawn and Heyman arguing from their respective drivers’ seats. Lesnar runs up and the camera cuts out, but we can hear Shawn getting destroyed.

Back and we recap exactly what we just saw. The car window is destroyed and Shawn is missing. HHH comes up and rants to AJ.

Lesnar carries Shawn into the arena on his shoulders and throws him in the ring. Shawn gets an F5 and Brock puts him in the armbar that he broke HHH’s arm with. HHH charges out and Heyman says stop or Lesnar will break the arm. Lesnar breaks the arm anyway and bails. HHH chases him off before tending to his life partner to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was easily the best of the three hour Raw’s so far and that’s primarily the case for one reason: they spread things out tonight instead of trying to have the same 8 or so people fill in three hours. There was a lot of variety tonight and that made the show MUCH better as a result. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything like that, but it covered everything on Summerslam and has me wanting to watch the show for the first time in weeks. Good stuff although the first hour was shaky.

Results

CM Punk b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered

Ryback b. JTG – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Heath Slater – Little Jimmy

Sin Cara b. Tensai – Tornado DDT

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz and Chris Jericho – Zig Zag to Jericho

Layla/Kaitlyn b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Rollup to Phoenix

Damien Sandow b. Christian – Neckbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 19, 2006
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past Unforgiven now and Big Show has some recovering to do. Therefore tonight we need a replacement top heel, so we have King Booker vs. RVD in the main event. We’re getting closer to No Mercy which which didn’t have an ECW Title match on it at all. Therefore the next month is pretty worthless as we’re approaching the only ECW PPV of the WWE incarnation. Let’s get to it.

Booker and Queen Sharmell arrive and Heyman has a red carpet waiting for them.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu vs. Test/Mike Knox/Matt Striker

Knox and Dreamer start things off but it’s quickly off to Striker. Sandy comes in so Striker bails, bringing Knox back in to face Dreamer. A Cactus Clothesline takes both guys to the floor where Test is waiting to spinebust Dreamer into the steps. Sandman is knocked into the barricade and has to be taken out as we go to a break. Back with Test elbowing Dreamer in the face in the corner.

Striker, the pretty boy teacher in the hot pink trunks, comes in and gets some cheap shots on Dreamer before distracting the referee so Knox can bend Dreamer’s back around the post. A neckbreaker gets two for Striker and it’s back to Test for some kicks to the back. Knox throws on a bearhug as Joey tells us of the bad back that Tommy still has from the original ECW.

A Knox powerslam gets two for Knox as Kelly screams, distracting Taz in a somewhat funny bit. Knox charges into a boot in the corner followed by a reverse DDT from Dreamer. The hot tag brings in Sabu and house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and Striker is put in the camel clutch but Test makes the save. Sabu goes up but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch Sabu….drawing a DQ in ECW.

Rating: D+. This was fine but the ending hurt it a bit. The idea of the heels representing the new ECW is fine but it would take far too many months before we got to the payoff for it. Then again a lot of the faction of the New Breed wasn’t here yet so I guess it’s understandable. Not much to see here but the idea was there.

The heels beat Dreamer and Sabu down until Sandman staggers out for the save.

Heyman introduces Booker and Sharmell to CW Anderson, Stevie Richards and Balls Mahoney. Guess which one incites comedy.

Balls Mahoney vs. Kevin Thorn

Francine is with Balls here. They brawl to the floor quickly with Mahoney taking over. Back inside and Balls punches in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. Mahoney comes back with more punches and the girls get into a catfight. Balls stops to watch and gets caught in a Razor’s Edge for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

Booker and Sharmell meet the FBI, Trinity and Punk. Guess which one wants to face Booker.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

I guess we needed a rematch after the squash last week. Punk starts by firing off forearms to the head. Kelly is watching Punk from the crowd. CM puts on a seated surfboard to keep his advantage but Moore comes back with some shots to the ribs. Knox takes Kelly to the back as Moore hits a gutbuster. Punk comes back with some knees but a spinwheel kick puts him down. Moore misses a dropkick and it’s high kick, Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the quick tap. Better than last week.

Heyman says Booker should join ECW. RVD comes up and offers a challenge to an extreme rules match.

Rob Van Dam vs. King Booker

Extreme rules a go-go. There was no transition between the challenge and the match either, yet Booker is in his gear already. That’s impressive. Booker is world champion but this is non-title. Booker takes over to start with some shots to the ribs but Van Dam comes back with kicks of his own. He goes up but Booker shoves him off the top into the barricade in that bump that Rob likes to do.

Van Dam gets dropped on the barricade and the King is in control. Back in and it’s chair time but Booker drops it in the ring instead of swinging it. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Rob charges into the Bookend and there’s a Spinarooni. Rob is like screw this and hits Booker in the head with the chair to take him down. After skateboarding the chair into Booker’s face, there’s the Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Booker for no cover.

The fans want tables. Well what good would a chair be if you didn’t have something to sit at? Split legged moonsault gets two and both guys are getting up. They slug it out and Van Dam is catapulted into the chair wedged between the top and middle rope. Booker’s piledriver onto a chair is countered so he has to settle for a spinebuster onto it instead. Booker goes up but the Hangover misses and both guys are down again. The Five Star hits and here’s Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam on Rob and a scissors kick from Booker gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was storyline advancement for Van Dam vs. Holly rather than a competitive match but it wasn’t that bad. Booker was in a zone at this point as champion, as he went from the street guy as Booker T to the polar opposite as the King, which says to me that he was an incredibly talented guy. This was fine for a TV main event.

Overall Rating: C. This was better than last week as the bringing in guest stars to main event the show is the right idea. You can’t really go with an all ECW main event and have it work for the masses, so bringing in someone like Booker is a good idea. Holly vs. Van Dam would be blown off soon, but unfortunately Holly would stay in the main event scene of ECW for a few more months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where in the world is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a good looking cheerlead, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the world does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Hardcore Justice 2012
Date: August 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the last stop before we start heading towards BFG which means tonight is all about getting points in the BFG Series. Well that and the world title match with Aries defending against Roode which is the final encounter, as no one is eligible for a rematch due to a pre-match agreement. TNA has done a good job lately of making us wonder who is going to win all of these matches tonight so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how tonight is all about violence and the Series and the title is in there somewhere too.

Tenay says the TV Title is on the line tonight too so I guess we have a bonus match. Word on the street says it’s Kaz challenging D-Von.

Gunner/Kid Kash vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez

This is probably the right choice for the opener as I don’t think anyone really cares about this for the most part but it should be fine from a technical standpoint. The villains jump Chavo and Hernandez before the bell and the fans seem to be behind Chavo. The fans’ pick starts with Kash and Chavo quickly hits the Three Amigos to take over. He goes up but Gunner knocks him down to slow Chavo down.

The heels use some nice double teaming moves, including a double slingshot suplex for two. Kash spends a little too much time bragging and Chavo snaps off a headscissors to take him down. There’s no tag to SuperMex though as Chavo and Kash stumble into the ropes for some reason. Off to Gunner with a right hand to take Chavo down followed by a backdrop. Back to Kash who hooks a cool neck scissors (only way I can think of to describe it) on Chavo.

Hernandez is getting annoyed on the apron but Chavo is stuck in the corner. Kash hooks a camel clutch but Chavo escapes into an electric chair. Gunner breaks up ANOTHER tag attempt. When that hot tag hits the place is going to erupt. Chavo hits a European Uppercut but goes after Kash instead of making the tag. That’s not very veteranly of him. They clothesline each other down and NOW we get the hot tag to Hernandez.

SuperMex cleans house and throws the evil tag stoppers around like they’re small men being thrown around by a large Mexican American. Gunner breaks up a pin attempt off a shoulder block so Hernandez clotheslines them both down at once. Gunner is knocked to the floor and SuperMex dives over the top to take Gunner out. Chavo tagged himself in as Hernandez was diving and after Kash is taken down by a slingshot shoulder block, the Frog Splash pins Kash at 9:37.

Rating: C+. This was perfectly fine for an opener. I don’t think most people really cared about the match but they worked the tag formula to perfection and it still works to this day. Chavo tagging himself in could lead to some friction so maybe there’s something to build off from this. Good stuff here though and a fine opener.

The people in the Series say they’ll win.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 54

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 40

Jeff Hardy 35

Rob Van Dam 35

Christopher Daniels 33

Bully Ray 28

Magnus 21

AJ Styles 16

D’Angelo Dinero 9

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Magnus

This is Falls Count Anywhere and it’s for 20 points. Dinero is jumped in the back by Aces and 8’s before the match so I guess we have a three way instead. Apparently someone is late to the show but I didn’t catch the name. Anderson is fine with Dinero being out because it’s one less guy to worry about. They play to the crowd to start but Van Dam gets jumped by Magnus and knocked over the top rope to the floor.

Anderson clotheslines Magnus down but can only get a one count. Van Dam comes back in and monkey flips everyone in sight. Well everyone who isn’t a referee that is. Magnus and Van Dam go to the floor but Anderson breaks up the spinning legdrop off the apron. Anderson sends Magnus into the apron for one on the floor. Magnus gets a chair as I assume this is hardcore and not just falls count anywhere.

Anderson knocks the chair away from Magnus but his DDT onto the chair is broken up. The two of them brawl up to the stage on the floor but Van Dam pelts a chair at Magnus to break it up. Now he hits the spinning leg to the back of Anderson who was on the barricade next to the ramp. Magnus gets in a shot to Van Dam’s knee and puts on a Texas Cloverleaf on the stage, only to have Anderson clothesline him in the back of the head to break the hold.

Back to the ring and Anderson and Magnus hit a double clothesline to take each other down. Van Dam stumbles in to try the Five Star but Anderson crotches him. They load up a Tower of Doom but Anderson breaks it up. He tries the superplex on RVD but gets knocked down and Five Starred but Magnus breaks up the pin. Magnus suplexes RVD on the ramp and asks for an expletive chair. RVD goes up the ramp with the Brit following with the aforementioned chair. Apparently no one has watched tape because YOU DON’T HOLD UP A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator gets the pin on Magnus at 9:06.

Rating: B-. I was digging this although I’m not wild on them taking Dinero out. My best guess would be it’s someone trying to take people out of the Series because they’re low in the standings, but wouldn’t you want to take out the people with the most points so you could move up? Maybe it has nothing to do with the standings. Either way, another good match here in a show that feels like it could be awesome.

Security can’t find Aces and 8’s.

Madison Rayne says she doesn’t need help to win titles so Earl Hebner won’t mean anything. If only that were true.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Kazarian

D-Von is defending. Kaz stalls on the floor to start but D-Von launches him into the ring. They head to the floor and a drink is knocked into the camera. D-Von is in full control and hits Kaz in the head with a bottle of water. Kaz tries to run up the steps but slips a bit, giving D-Von a heads up and letting him slam Kaz when he dives at the champ. Back inside and Kaz gets in his first offense in the form of a clothesline.

A springboard reverse elbow sets up a springboard legdrop for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long, but it gives the announcers enough time to talk about the planets for some reason. D-Von starts a comeback with some chops but gets poked in the eye to stop that cold. A spear out of nowhere takes Kaz down so hard that he stands on his head for a bit.

D-Von starts his comeback with the shoulders and a headbutt for no cover. Another shoulder gets two and D-Von has his goofy look. Kaz misses a charge in the corner and D-Von hits the neckbreaker out of the corner for two. A crucifix gets two for Kaz but Fade to Black is countered into the spinebuster for the pin to retain at 8:34.

Rating: C. Given the rumors of D-Von leaving soon, this might have been a way to throw the fans off and make them think D-Von would be leaving. Maybe that’ll happen on Impact or maybe it won’t happen at all, but either way this was fine for what it was. It was a comedy match in a way at first but it turned into your usual TV Title match. D-Von losing the title soon will likely be a good thing for it though as there’s nothing to most of his matches. Not that they’re bad though.

We recap Earl Hebner and Madison. The hot chick has a crush on the old man and he’s helped Madison win some matches. Tonight it’s a title match. Gee I wonder if that’ll mean anything.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tessmacher is defending. They shove each other around to start and Earl is refereeing. WHY WOULD STING LET HIM DO THAT? Madison takes over by sending Tessmacher into the corner and then launches her across the ring by the hair. That has to hurt like no other. Tessmacher comes back with some clotheslines but walks into a northern lights suplex for two. The real comeback starts with some clotheslines but that mat slam of Tessmacher’s is countered. The champ slams her down by the hair and hits a top rope elbow for two. Out of nowhere Madison grabs a rollup and uses the ropes for the pin and the title at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual Knockouts match: not that good but the girls look good in their little outfits. Hebner didn’t cheat at all in this which makes the sights of Madison kissing him COMPLETELY POINTLESS. Yes I get that it could mean something later, but WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN INT HE FIRST PLACE??? Not a terrible match but man alive I do not care about women’s wrestling at all in either company. It’s just dull all around.

Bully Ray, with his back to the wall, shows JB a Dead Man’s Hand he found on his car. He tells Aces and 8’s to bring it on and says he’s going to Bound For Glory.

We recap the history of Aces and 8’s.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Robbie E vs. Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Another 20 points on the line here and this is a tables match. I believe it’s one fall to a finish. Storm is still being accused of being behind Aces and 8’s but there’s no concrete evidence. Ray tells everyone to go after Storm but Robbie wants nothing to do with it. Robbie is promptly chopped in the chest and punched in the face for his disagreements. Jeff and James throw him to the floor but they get their heads taken off by Ray.

Ray beats on Robbie a bit and brings in the first table of the match. Hardy breaks up an attempted suplex through said table but Robbie moves the table to avoid a double suplex to Ray. Unfortunately he doesn’t move it well enough and Ray’s arm knocks off a piece of the table. That doesn’t count though because we can’t have a three minute match so we keep going.

Robbie comes in and takes over, putting Jeff on the table but he stops to fist pump. Storm breaks the attempt up and tries a superplex on Robbie, but Jeff turns it into a Tower of Doom. Ray moves the table but lets Robbie get destroyed anyway. Smart man there. Storm moves the table so Hardy can’t be backdropped through it and the Cowboy is the only one standing.

Storm takes too long setting up a table in the corner and Rob gets in a shot to the Cowboy’s back. Hardy gets back up and knocks Robbie down again to take over. There’s a table set up on the floor with the Jersey Shore dude placed on it but Robbie T comes out as a distraction. Since Hardy isn’t the smartest guy in the world, he dives over E on the table to take T out instead. Storm and Ray are fighting off camera as Jeff is placed on a table on the floor. Robbie dives off the middle rope but Hardy moves, sending Robbie crashing through the table.

Back in the ring Storm beats up Ray and hits an enziguri in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a Ray clothesline a second later. There’s a table set up in the corner and Ray sets to drive Storm through it but here are Aces and 8’s. They don’t get in but the distraction lets Storm kick Ray down. The masked men give Storm a thumbs up but he doesn’t care.

Hardy comes back and jumps Storm as the match continues. The table is set up in the middle of the ring and Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind (not through the table). Last Call is blocked and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate. He puts Storm on the table but Aces and 8’s distract Jeff. Storm hits the superkick on Jeff but Ray comes back in and kicks Storm down before powerbombing Hardy through the table for the win at 9:45.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining but it was more about the storyline than the match which is fine. The signs seem to point to Storm being in charge of the attacks but there’s no direct evidence so far and Storm may be being framed. Ray getting the win is interesting, even though he may be leaving soon. Could it be a red herring? The fact that I don’t know for sure makes this much more fun.

Ray seems to have a bad elbow due to the inadvertent crash through the table earlier.

Austin Aries talks about how Roode seems obsessed with having a rematch clause. Tonight he’ll take care of everything that he has to, and if that includes Aces and 8’s so be it.

We recap the X Title match. King jumped to TNA and wants to be champion because if not, it was a failed risk.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion

King is challenging. Feeling out process to start with King finally taking over with a headlock. A backslide gets two as does La Majistral. Back to the headlock and then out to the floor with King hitting a sweet flip dive off the apron. They head back inside for a second but King is knocked back outside where the champ hits a flip dive of his own. Ion hits a neckbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

That only lasts a few seconds as Ion chokes instead. Now we get a longer lasting chinlock followed by a DDT for two. King comes back with an atomic drop and things speed up a bit. A high collar throw puts Ion into the corner and out to the floor. King hits a BIG corkscrew dive to the floor which gets two back in.

The modified F5 is broken up but King puts on a half crab of all things. A kick similar to Trouble in Paradise misses and a flipping backbreaker gets two for Ion. King hits a knee to the head for two and knocks the hairspray out of Ion’s hand. They head to the corner and King sets for some kind of sunset flip but gets countered into something like a shoulderbreaker for the pin by Ion to retain at 11:03.

Rating: D+. Ion is really freaking boring. At the end of the day all he has is big hair and that’s nothing interesting at all. I get that they want to wait on Sorensen to come back and take the title from him in a big moment, but do we have to sit through him as champion that long? Nothing to see here and Ion winning was a letdown as he was shown up in this match.

Joe tells Aces and 8’s to bring it and that he’s winning tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

20 points and it’s a ladder match. AJ immediately jumps Daniels and beats on him until Angle pulls Styles off. Angle jumps in and stomps on Daniels until Joe wants a turn. All three guys take their shots at Daniels who finally tries a BME, only to miss completely. Joe takes over but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a big flip dive. It’s Styles vs. Angle in the ring but Daniels gets the ladder and hits AJ in the knee with it to take over.

The ladder is brought in but Joe slams Daniels onto it and goes for a climb. Angle and AJ come back in and knock the ladder down with Kurt taking over. Daniels jumps Angle from behind and sets the ladder up, only to get buckle bombed by Joe. The Samoan goes up but Angle makes the save and hits the overhead belly to belly to take Joe down. The fans chant USA despite all four guys being American.

Angle stomps on Styles but AJ shoves the ladder into his face to change control again. The Pele takes Joe down and AJ pounds on Daniels in the corner. Joe gets back up and cleans house, throwing around everyone in sight. He loads up the MuscleBuster on Styles but Angle comes in and grabs Joe for a German while he’s still holding AJ. Since that would probably kill AJ, he falls out and lands on Joe instead. Daniels hits an STO on Angle and goes for a climb but Kurt grabs the ankle to break it up.

AJ knocks everyone down and goes up, only for Daniels to shove him off the top and out to the floor in a scary landing. Joe and Angle bring Daniels down and it’s time for some suplexes. It turns into “can you top this” on Daniels which is always fun. There’s an Angle Slam and then Angle starts thinking. Daniels is put inside the ladder so that his head is coming through one hole and his legs are through another. The beating continues until Kurt climbs up. Daniels grabs his leg so Joe sets up another ladder and climbs as well. AJ pops in out of NOWHERE with the Shelton Benjamin leap and grabs the envelope to win at 16:18.

Rating: B. The stuff with Daniels was great and the match was good, but other than the ending there was nothing that stood out as great. Thankfully there was no Clair involvement here as she drags down almost everything she’s involved in. Good match here though and Daniels sold like a master.

Roode says he’ll win and that Aries is a fluke.

We recap the world title match. Roode was champion forever and Aries got the title match because he was X-Division Champion. He won the match to prove he could hang with the big boys and Roode has been furious since. Tonight it’s the final match and there are no rematches for either if they lose.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Roode is challenging if that last paragraph was too tough for you. Aries grabs a quick Last Chancery and Roode bails to the floor. Roode stalls and hides on the floor and the match slows down a lot. The fans call Roode a coward and he’s walking away. The referee reminds him that there’s no rematch so Roode asks for time. When that’s denied he slips in and back out, so Aries dives on him in a great looking jump.

Aries knocks Roode around the ring a bit and goes to the apron again for another dive. This time Roode moves and Aries crashes into the barricade ribs first. Back inside and the challenger keeps up his advantage with a belly to back suplex and a knee drop for two. Roode wraps up Aries from behind to squeeze on the ribs a bit followed by some shoulders into the ribs. Aries grabs a sunset flip for two but a gutbuster stops him cold.

Back to the body vice for a bit before Bobby puts Aries up in the Tree of Woe. Aries finally escapes and hits an atomic drop and clothesline to send Roode to the floor. Aries loads up the suicide dive but Roode moves before it’s launched. Unfortunately for Roode he moves into position for a double ax off the top. Back in the ring and there’s the Last Chancery from the champ. Aries switches that off to a Crossface instead but Roode reverses into one of his own.

Aries finally makes the rope and we’re back where we started. They chop it out and Aries hits a missile dropkick for two. The brainbuster is countered into Roode’s spinebuster for two and both guys are needing some air. Aries goes up and after knocking Roode off the top, he fires the 450 but Roode gets the knees up.

Since this is a TNA PPV main event, the referee gets speared down by mistake, followed by a spear to Aries as well. Another referee comes in and counts two off the spear. The second referee doesn’t last long though as he gets crushed in the corner by Roode. The brainbuster hits Roode but the delayed cover means it only gets two. Aries goes up again but gets crotched. Roode hits a superplex but Aries hooks Roode’s feet for a kind of small package. Both referees count and it’s a double pin at 22:55.

Rating: B+. Good match here and I’m assuming it sets up a blowoff match at No Surrender, which at least gives that show something else to see with the world title. The No Rematch clause is at a kind of standstill here because you can’t really have a rematch if no one lost the match. I like this better than giving it to either guy, especially since the matches have been good and a trilogy is better than…..what do you call a series with just two entries?

We get the traditional arguing post match….and we’re going to restart it? Apparently so and Aries loads up the suicide dive, only to ram his head into the belt that Roode was holding at the time. HOW IS THAT NOT A DQ? Either way it only gets two. Roode goes to pick Aries up and gets rolled up for the pin after maybe a minute of restart time.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show but there’s nothing on it that I would call great. That being said, it’s still better than I expected, although it wasn’t the runaway surprise I was expecting. The Series is a bit more interesting now and there were only a few matches that were weak, but nothing major changed here other than the main event with Roode basically out of the title picture now. This was a good show overall but it could have been a bit better.

Roode panics to end the show.

Results

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez b. Gunner/Kid Kash – Frog Splash to Kash

Rob Van Dam b. Mr. Anderson, D’Angelo Dinero and Magnus – Van Daminator to Magnus

D-Von b. Kazarian – Spinebuster

Madison Rayne b. Miss Tessmacher – Rollup while holding the ropes

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Robbie E – Ray powerbombed Hardy through a table

Zema Ion b. Kenny King – Shoulderbreaker

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle – Styles pulled down the envelope

Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 12, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re coming up on Unforgiven and in a bit of a lull for ECW. We aren’t ready to talk about December to Dismember yet but we don’t really have anything planned for in between then. My guess would be we have random matches that don’t add up to much until then which is par for the course. Oh and we’re in the World’s Most Famous Arena tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman and his masked bodyguards in the ring. He talks about the deal he made to bring ECW to the big time and again says that the fans owe him a thank you. The way he’s speaking is kind of strange as you can tell he thinks what he’s saying is bull, but he’s a native New Yorker and he has ECW in Madison Square Garden. It’s an interesting combination.

Sabu almost immediately runs out and goes after the guards with a chair, knocking them to the floor. Heyman makes Big Show vs. Sabu later on in an extreme rules match. In theory that wouldn’t be for the title but you never know with his mindset after awhile. Sabu dives onto the guards because he’s a bit out there.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Van Dam jumps him to start and snaps off a fast rana before being backdropped to the floor. Holly busts out a pescado which is a rare thing to see from him. This is as a result of Holly jumping Van Dam recently at the request/suggestion of Heyman, who hates Van Dam for some reason. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Holly who is in full control. A middle rope elbow kind of misses as I think Van Dam got his foot up but it looked odd.

Either way Van Dam is making his comeback here and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for a delayed two. A monkey flip sends Holly out of the corner and Van Dam heads up. Holly crotches him but the superplex is broken up. The Five Star is loaded up again but here are Stevie Richards and Mike Knox for the DQ for no apparent reason.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was too short to go anywhere. Holly was a guy that they wanted to be a big deal in ECW, but at the end of the day he’s the same guy that has been a joke on the main two shows for years leading up to this. It’s hard to take him seriously when he was the guy running around with Crash for all those years.

Van Dam beats those two up but Test comes out as well, hitting the full nelson slam to take him out. Sandman and Dreamer finally run in for the save. Everyone hits Richards with something and the Five Star finishes his murder.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

Two matches without a commercial or segment? I’m stunned. This is Moore’s ECW debut. He slaps Punk in the face to start and pounds him down which is probably about the extent of his offense here. Punk jumps over Moore in the corner and hooks the Tarantula Vice in the ropes. A series of strikes to the ribs stops Moore dead as the fans are chanting for Punk. The corner knee/bulldog hits and the high kick sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the tap. Basically just a squash.

Rene Dupree is looking in a mirror.

Punk talks about all the guys he wants to fight when Kelly Kelly comes up to hit on him. She asks him out but Mike Knox makes the save. I think I smell a feud.

The villain in The Marine says the movie is cool.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn come out for the next match.

Rene Dupree vs. Balls Mahoney

Dupree jumps him to start but Balls comes back with the signature punches in the corner. A charge hits the post for Mahoney though and a bottom rope splash gets two for Rene. Taz: “That’s extreme?” A middle rope elbow gets the same and I can’t believe I’m watching this on ECW.

I get the idea that they’re going with to have Dupree as a heel in ECW, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve had guys like Shannon Moore, Mike Knox and Rene Dupree on this show. Mahoney snaps off the Nutcracker Sweet (sitout spinebuster) for two and they head to the floor. Balls gets a chair but Thorn kicks him into the steps, giving Dupree the pin.

Rating: D. Like I said, at the end of the day you can only get so into a match about Rene Dupree. Mahoney is one of the holdovers from the original ECW who at least looks like he belongs on a show about Extreme wrestling. This wasn’t good by almost any standard but it set up Thorn vs. Mahoney which is less dull than this was.

Matt Striker doesn’t like Sandman or the people drinking his “giggle water”. I give up.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

This is non-title. Ok apparently it is for the belt. Why would Heyman agree to that? He and the bodyguards are at ringside and Heyman is panicking as Sabu sets up tables before the bell. We take a break and come back with Sabu holding a chair in the ring and the bell rings. Show swats that away with ease and knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Show throws the chair to the floor and clotheslines Sabu down for two. This is going very slowly so far.

Sabu finally wakes up and takes out Show’s leg followed by a chair shot. Then Sabu shows that he’s an idiot by trying a freaking camel clutch on BIG SHOW. Show gets caught on the top rope and kicked to the floor but it doesn’t really do anything to him. The fans want tables so Show sets one up in the ring, making him a face for about 5 seconds. Sabu picks up a chair but looks scared to swing it.

The chokeslam is countered by Sabu into a DDT through the table for two. For a crowd that wanted tables, they didn’t seem to be that interested in it once Show was put through it. Sabu pelts the chair at Show and knocks him through the table on the floor. The crowd again doesn’t seem too interested. Show goes into the post and Sabu gets in a chair shot to the back. Air Sabu to the floor is caught in a chokeslam through another table and Sabu is in big trouble. The Cobra Clutch backbreaker sets up the standing legdrop (called the Showstopper here) for the pin.

Rating: D+. The crowd told the story here: no one bought Sabu as a real threat to Show at all and why should they have? Show has been completely dominant unless he’s against more than one person, and Sabu’s offense isn’t made to face someone like Show, who is way too big and strong for a small guy like Sabu. Some of the bumps were decent but there was no way they could make this be exceptionally good.

Overall Rating: D+. I know I talked about the problems they were having with the ECW guys being the focus, but now we’ve reached a new section of problems for ECW. No matter what you call it or repackage these guys as, no one was going to care about Rene Dupree, Hardcore Holly, Test and Mike Knox. Those guys aren’t people that are going to create interest at all. They’ve been jobbers for so long on Raw and Smackdown that no one was going to buy them as threats anywhere. That’s what wound up happening and it wasn’t for a good many months that the problem got solved.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/12/unforgiven-2006-the-year-of-cena-begins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

For some reason this is a very requested show, so here it is. This is a two match show for the most part as Cena goes for the world title against Edge in a TLC match where Cena will be the HUGE heel. Also here we have DX vs. the McMahons and Big Show in Hell in a Cell. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that match all the way through so that’s a nice little bonus reason to watch this show. Other than that there’s just not much here, but then again 06 was only an ok year for the company. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those two matches which is exactly what you would expect it to be about.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow talk about two different career paths. I’m not sure who gyrates more: Hardy or Melina. They mention Jeff’s three year absence, which was when he was in TNA, but we can’t say that name so there you are. Long feeling out process to start which is fine if they have time to work with. Nice armdrag and then another by Hardy as we get the obligatory Ricky Steamboat reference.

Nitro plays the standard heel role by hiding on the floor when Jeff gets momentum. That’s such a basic thing and it worked very well. I don’t get why more people don’t do it. SWEET slingshot dropkick to Nitro and he hits the floor. Baseball slide takes care of him there too as it’s all Hardy. Nitro hits a dropkick to Hardy while Hardy is on top to take over though. DAng Melina can scream.

He works on Hardy’s knee which is rather smart given the style of offense he uses. Top rope twisting moonsault (Starship Pain but from the top rope and without the leg split) misses and we’re back to even. Whisper in the Wind hits very well and Nitro is in trouble. Swanton hits clean but Jeff’s leg is hurt and Nitro gets his foot on the ropes. Nitro keeps working on the knee and even gets a leg/ankle lock.

Melina gets up on the apron and down she goes thanks to Nitro which gets a rollup for Hardy for two. She can however take her boot off and apply it to the face of Hardy to make sure Nitro wins. Ross gets in a jab at her which is rather amusing for some reason.

Rating: B-. Competitive but this went nearly 20 minutes which is a very long time for these two. It’s pretty good but for some reason it just never clicked. The ending is fine though as it’s basic heel stuff which never gets old. What more can you ask for in a match as far as basic face vs. basic heel stuff? Solid, Cruiserweight style stuff which is a good idea.

Marine stuff, which wasn’t a bad movie.

Matt gives Jeff a pep talk and Lita shows up and insults occur.

Kane vs. Umaga

Oh yay. It’s this match again. They claim this is Umaga’s PPV debut. That’s idiotic as he had been at Backlash, 4 months before this. I was kind of there so I think I’d know. Estrada is annoying which is the idea so he’s got that right at least. The introduction takes about 5 minutes. Who would guess that Kane would win the world title before Umaga would?

Kane punches him back into the corner to start and it’s a slugout. Big boot to the face does almost nothing and then Kane sits up after a kick from Umaga. Some Estrada interference lets Umaga take over, which sucks because I was enjoying the whole neither can do anything at all. King compares this to Godzilla vs. Mothra, because both of them resemble large butterflies.

The running flying hip smash connects and Kane is reeling. And of course such a high impact move is followed up by a thumb to the throat, which is SO DEVASTATING! It appears that all Kane can do is punch. Him vs. Rocky Balboa could be amusing. A flying thumb to the head misses from the middle rope. I do enjoy that flying clothesline from Kane. Then again I like Kane in general so there you are.

Chokeslam is started but almost blocked. More striking and then Kane hits a belly to belly (!) over the top to the floor and they head into the crowd. I think you can put the rest together for yourselves. The brawl keeps going, resulting in absolutely no conclusion at all. They brawl into the set and go through a door in it, ticking off the crowd immensely.

Rating: D+. Kane didn’t care at all at this point and can you blame him? He had no reason to as he knew he wasn’t getting elevated at all no matter what he did. He was stuck in these dead end feuds with random people that meant nothing such as this one. Umaga would go on to fight Cena for the world title in a few months while Kane just did hims thing over and over again. He’s a company man, you have to give him that.

We go to Vince in the back who is watching a tape of him hitting and then pinning HHH on Raw. He and Shane want to destroy DX which they’ve been trying to do all summer now. The idea is that Vince does nothing but gets to do the pin.

Raw Tag Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders were really funny in their vignettes and then debuted to a nice reaction. This is more or less the peak of their importance. Rory (the other is Robbie) looks like Mad Dog Vachon from a facial hair perspective. Imagine Scottish Bushwackers. That sums them up pretty well. Kenny and Mikey are the Squad members here today. All Highlanders so far.

This really isn’t much of a match as you can more or less feel the screwy ending coming soon. Robbie misses a dive and the three other guys beat up Robbie to take over. Crowd is DEAD. The top rope legdrop from Kenny misses as this needs to end like now. Rory gets the hot tag which is lacking heat and hits his finisher on Mikey. After a save Johnny kicks Rory in the head and an X Factor (by the beard no less) ends it.

Rating: D. And so what? That’s what I was thinking when this match ended: so what. Who cares that the Spirit Squad has ANOTHER win using the same stuff they’ve used every time? It’s just not an interesting dynamic for this long, and then at the end of the day Piper and Flair wound up taking the titles from them. That’s the best they could do? This division was long since dead at this point and that was very clear.

We recap the Vince vs. DX feud which went on forever and was pretty badly received. It just kept going and stupid stuff that DX was doing was “breaking” Vince. Steve Austin kidnapped Vince, destroyed his car and threatened to shoot him and Vince never broke. And yet this is enough to get us to a Cell match?

Big Show/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Degeneration X

Does anyone else have an issue with Vince and Shane and even Show being in a Cell match? Does that just not fit right with anyone besides me? Show is ECW Champion at this point. This is a different kind of cell too as it’s not as wide but taller. Maybe it is as wide. Double low blow immediately on Show and DX takes over. I have a feeling this could go on for a very long time.

Shane gets launched into the cage as HHH beats up his father in law. Shane is busted open already. Show’s balls must be throbbing since he’s still down. All DX so far as Vince gets his face grated over the cage which is a great spot as it’s painful looking and draws blood too. You can’t beat that. Show is back up and HHH does his jump over the top in the corner which always looks good.

Shawn hits a dive but it gets caught. I love power spots like that. How can you fake catching a grown man like that when he’s launching himself down at you? HHH drops a knee on Vince and it CLEARLY misses by at least 4 inches. Vince not moving an inch didn’t help things. Really bad camera shot there as it totally exposed everything. It looked fine to the live fans I guess, but terrible from a TV perspective.

Apparently HHH has a bad ear, which is a rare injury. Vince is bleeding and Shawn goes into the cage. Things have slowed down a lot here. JR calls the fence a javelin catcher. Where does he get some of this stuff? The weapons are brought in, starting with a trashcan. Coast to Coast hits HHH and DX is more or less dead.

Shawn is brought back in and Vince gets to punch on him a bit. Shane hits a slingshot on HHH to launch him into the cage. Vader Bomb to Shawn from Show. Vince picks him up though and then does it again. You imbecile. HHH comes back after a decent rest and it’s low blows for everyone. From out of nowhere Shane gets a torture rack of all things into a neckbreaker on HHH.

Everyone is down until a SICK enziguri takes out Shane again. Vince of course lowers his pants to try to get Shawn to kiss up to him. HHH makes a save but too much Big Show stops that. Shawn manages to avoid a splash with a nip up and Vince takes it. DX takes out Show with a bunch of low blows and here’s the big comeback. They do all their favorites and HHH gets some chairs from under the ring.

They Pillmanize Shane’s neck which would have killed him in kayfabe but whatever. Show comes back to stop the kick as this is going too long. Actually it isn’t as the length is helping to a degree. Chairs and steps plus chin music take Show out again. Vince is all that’s left so DX pulls down Show’s shorts. You know what’s coming. There doesn’t appear to be a thong either. You can’t say he won’t do whatever it takes for his company.

HHH busts out a sledgehammer just for fun. Superkick hits and HHH breaks the hammer over Vince. So between that and attempting to murder Shane, how many years in prison is that for them? Pin is academic. Shane is taken out on a stretcher, as is Vince, which gets cheers. I’ll give them this: that’s how you END a feud.

Rating: C+. It was entertaining, but this just didn’t feel like it belonged in a Cell. If there hadn’t been so many people it would have fit in a regular cage better. This wasn’t bad, but it just doesn’t measure up to everything else. The kissing thing hurts the whole nightmare part a lot. This was a good match, but after the attempted murder, cheering them is kind of hard. It’s ok but it doesn’t work if that makes sense.

The post match stuff takes like five minutes.

Mania is in Detroit.

We get a package on Trish, as her retirement match is next. It’s her hometown, so what do you really think is going to happen? If nothing else the highlight reel of her hotness is nice. The story is that Trish wasn’t going to announce the retirement but Lita told WWE.com so that Trish couldn’t have her moment, which is different if nothing else.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

If she’s going to go, this is how you do it: in your hometown against your rival for the title. Both of their theme songs freaking rock. Lita is announced from Atlanta which sounds weird. LOUD Thank You Trish chant before the music even hits. She gets the loudest pop for a Diva ever, period. This really is a cool moment and her stumbling up the steps is awesome too.

Lita gets booed out of the building and I had to grab my headphones to get the loudness out of my ears when Trish went on offense. Thesz Press off the apron to Lita and I can’t get over how hot this crowd is for this. I know it’s a big deal but DANG they’re loud for it. They changed the mat during the video package so that the blood is gone, which is nice since the stains on the mat get annoying later on.

Lita’s looks never worked that well with bangs. In a cool spot, Lita blocks the headscissors out of the corner and Trish winds up sitting on Lita’s lap in the corner as they punch each other. Never seen that before. They fight even more on the top and Trish goes to the mat. Moonsault misses and the Stratusfaction is missed too. A fan at ringside actually asks Trish to marry him as she’s down. Well he’s certainly trying.

Trish is in trouble as they actually tease her losing here. That’s rather amusing. JR mentions she’ll be in the Hall of Fame, which better be true. If she’s not they might as well close off any other Divas. They slug it out which is something these two can actually make believable, which isn’t often said of the ladies. BIG old kick to the head of Lita gets two.

Sweet move by Trish as Stratusfaction is reversed but Trish twists PERFECTLY in midair into a sunset flip. The sunset flip part isn’t great but the twist was nice. It gets two, but Trish gets the freaking SHARPSHOOTER and the crowd absolutely loses it. Lita almost gets the rope but Trish drags her back to the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A. This wasn’t for the match, although it was good. This was about a last moment, and I’d love to hear a way to go out that is better than this. In her hometown, using the most famous move in the history of the country, she beat her archrival and broke the record for most Women’s Championship ever. That is what you call epic. Good match too, but that’s expected from these two. Crowd was awesome too.

Everyone gives Trish an ovation, including Lillian, Jim and Jerry. Lita would retire in like 3 months, killing the division once and for all.

There’s a season premiere of Smackdown. I think that was the Friday debut.

Orton is in the back and gets a mixed reaction, even though he’s a heel here. He says no one cares about her retirement unless you’re Canadian. Orton REALLY can’t talk yet here and it shows badly. He has Carlito next. Odd interview and not in a good way.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

I still like Burn in My Light better than Voices. This is more or less the apex of Carlito’s WWE push. Standard stuff to start which is fine. Randy takes over and we get an RKO chant. I love Canadian crowds. So much for that Randy takes over aspect as Carlito hits some nice springboard splashes. Both guys have nice dropkicks also. Orton’s mouth is busted, which today would bring a match to a screeching halt.

It’s chinlock time, which was more prevalent back in the day if you can believe that. Carlito hits a Downward Spiral which is a required move in this company I think. RKO is countered into the Backcracker and is told they have two minutes left. To end it, Carlito does a double springboard into a spinning clothesline. It doesn’t hit though as Orton pulls him into the RKO in a SWEET counter. Awesome ending to a bad match.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring. It’s nothing great at all as the whole thing was about the ending. Carlito was a rather odd worker as he had such a different style but it just never clicked for more than like one match in a row. This was rather short and didn’t really ever get off the ground, but after the long celebration with Trish they’re likely short on time.

We recap Edge vs. Cena, which is happening because Cena wants the title. The idea is if Cena loses here to Edge in Edge’s hometown then he goes to Smackdown for three years. There’s also a new belt here as Edge threw the spinner belt in the water. He has a new spinner with an R on it. This gets the music video treatment. Oh and Cena’s dad got beaten up by Edge.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely a good show and the two huge matches are definitely a good way to sell the show. This has some issues with it but for the most part it’s good. Trish’s moment is probably the highlight of the show actually but the whole stupid spot in the Cell match just stopped that one dead. It’s worth seeing and is definitely entertaining but not a classic or anything. I’d consider this a good popcorn show if that makes sense.

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Once again another year has passed since Summerslam. Isn’t it odd how that’s always the case? Either way, things are indeed different now, as Chris Benoit finally broke through the glass ceiling and won the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 20. Tonight he faces Randy Orton who is 22 years old and has all the potential in the world. When he won a battle royal for the #1 contender spot, no one knew what to think other than oh man he might win it.

Other than that we have JBL vs. Taker for the Smackdown Title, which means little as JBL was already sucking badly, although for a different reason. In this case, JBL just had no resume as the character was brand new and two months after debuting he won the world title. Why should we buy into this character? That question was never actually answered so for the most part we didn’t.

Oh and there’s some guy named Cena who was on the roster last year but couldn’t manage to get on the show. He’s wrestling Booker T tonight in the first of a best of 5 series for the US Title. That series wouldn’t end for two months, which in itself is just stupid. Let’s get to this, as the card looks….interesting I guess you’d say.

The entrance video is set to Rush’s Summertime Blues, so that’s a bit of a perk. The idea is that this is the culmination of the summer, and because of that we get a humorous video of WWE guys in Olympic events. Oddly enough Angle isn’t shown in that. For some reason, the Smackdown Title is listed last, and I mean completely last.

It’s billed after everything, which isn’t saying much for it. Oh also I forgot to mention, the third big match is Angle vs. Guerrero in a Wrestlemania rematch which should be good. The arena looks very cool with the screen shaped in a half circle over the entrance to the arena so it looks kind of like the sun setting.

Dudleys vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman/Paul London

Here we have Spike as the new boss of the Dudleys. He’s the Cruiserweight champion and is heel now as well. He’s apparently been “calling the shots” for some time now, although no one has ever figured out what moron green lighted this angle. No one took Spike seriously, ever, so it’s stupid to think that they would here either. Anyway, Spike took the title from Rey so Rey got two of his jobber tag team friends to help him out and this is what you get.

For some reason that I have no idea of, I remember this match being booked and thought it would steal the show. I have no idea what I was on but I’d love to have some more of it. Cole calls something vintage Spike. And so it begins. Two of them in less than two minutes. Did we never notice this before somehow? London and Kidman are the Smackdown tag champions at this time by the way, so yeah, screw that whole defending belts on PPV idea.

That just can’t be done obviously. Rey and Spike finally get together and apparently this is the reason this match is happening. Of course this is the better way to go instead of, oh I don’t know, DEFENDING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW? Rey is beating up all three of them by himself. You have to love the super powers that star power gives you. It’s a mess now of course and Rey and Kidman actually use the Hart Attack with Kidman being the powerhouse of the team.

619 leads to a shooting star press but D-Von makes the save. Kidman tries to fight off the two Dudleys that weigh more than 18lbs but eventually gets caught in the 3D and Spike gets the pin. Cole has come to a conclusion: Spike is now the boss of the Dudleys. Thank you for telling us again what you said at the beginning of it.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match. 6 man tags are a good way to open a show as they’re usually fast paced and offer a variety of combinations so if one matchup is bad the rest can balance it out nicely. This was fine here as it was two title feuds combined into one so that’s all good. However, there’s a point to having PPVs. They’re places where big matches are supposed to happen. When I say big matches, I mean matches where titles are on the line.

Lawler in a suit just doesn’t look right.

It’s recap time as our subject right here is Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Here’s the deal: Matt and Lita were engaged, but for some reason Kane hated Matt. Lita slept with Kane to keep him at bay, and now she’s pregnant with his baby. Insert your own soap opera related title joke here. The winner of this match gets to marry her. Yeah I know just go with it.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

I’ve always loved Lita’s theme at this time. Matt’s is pretty sweet too actually. Kane is finally in his traditional attire so we’re starting to look modern here. Amazingly enough, this isn’t the stupidest stipulation in the history of Summerslam. Matt at this point had more or less no track record to speak of. He was a low level guy and this was probably his biggest feud to date, so he’s the epitome of the underdog here. He starts off fast though.

This was also when he still wasn’t fat and was at least trying very hard out there, which is all you can ask for a lot of the time. Matt more or less throws everything he’s got at Kane inside the first three minutes, including a Twist of Fate on the floor which gets a 9 from the referee (it had a good beat but I couldn’t dance to it do I give it a 65). Anyway, Matt fights with everything he’s got, but it’s just not enough.

This match is just hard to comment on as it’s barely over 6 minutes with a minute of that being the outside sequence. Lita slides the bell in to Matt, and her shouting of MATT doesn’t clue the referee in on the fact that they’re cheating, nor does the bell sound when he hits Kane with it. Screw the company sending the old guys to rehab. Send the referees to an optometrist. Anyway, Kane finally gets going but he’s on offense all of 40 seconds, which somehow is enough.

He goes up top for the clothesline but Matt crotches him. He tries a DDT from the top but gets chokeslamed instead. Matt’s landing of almost trying to sit up and just falling backwards is just great. Lita is of course stunned. The wedding would be tomorrow night and of course, it went bad.

Rating: B. Call me crazy, but I really liked this. It was way to short to be considered great, but in the time they had, it was certainly intense. You could feel Matt and Lita’s nervousness and it paid off. The chokeslam was great too, and Lita’s face at the end was both beautiful and destroyed at the same time. Short but very sweet.

Randy Orton is in the back, being asked by Todd Grisham about his match tonight. Orton is talking about how he’s going to win tonight when Cena comes in. He’s a rapper at this point and completely annoying. The showdown between these two does look cool though, considering what was coming. Cena asks the fans who will win and they say Benoit. This was nothing special, but it still looked cool just for the future aspect.

Booker T vs. John Cena

This is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, which I think I kind of like. However, this took TWO MONTHS to get through. How is that possible? PPV, Smackdown, House Show, Smackdown, PPV. There, one month, 5 matches. This feud wouldn’t end until October though, so what’s the point? Cena is still a rapper at this point, and is rocking the Blue Jays old school jersey which is awesome.

Again, THIS IS SHORT. I don’t get the point in having all these 6-7 minute matches. Either way, the problem here is simple: the fans don’t care because they know there’s at least two more matches with these guys, so why should they care about this one? Nothing is going to happen at the end of it, so why should they care? I certainly don’t and I can’t imagine they did when it was actually happening either.

Cena was really starting to find his audience here and in the coming months would be launched into the main event of Smackdown, although he would have perhaps the worst world title change in the history of Wrestlemania as that show was all about Batista and HHH.

Either way, this is just not that interesting of a match as they can’t waste their best stuff with four matches to go and the fans aren’t that interested. That being said, maybe it’s good that this match is about six and a half minutes. Booker spins up and Cena calmly picks him up and FUs him for the win. This could be a textbook definition of a quick and uninteresting finish.

Rating: D. Like I said, they couldn’t use much of their best stuff, no one was interested, and it was way too short. Either way, this was just a bad match and it showed really bad. They would go on to improve huge, but this was a very bad way to start.

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, is joined by Bischoff who would be fired in about a year. They lay the groundwork for Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series and talk about Eugene.

Diva Dodge ball later tonight. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

IC Title: Batista vs. Jericho vs. Edge

Edge is champion here, having returned from injury and declared war on Evolution, although I don’t remember him ever getting to HHH. At the time, Batista was the hottest thing in wrestling to say the least. He was getting great face pops every time he came out, while Jericho was a face at this point. Edge of course was awesome, but he still didn’t have that spark he had pre injury.

His style has completely changed here as you can tell he’s tentative about going too hard, but at this point it was finally starting to wear off. Batista is also rocking a near mullet here with much longer hair than you’re used to. Batista had been using this big running clothesline to knock people out lately, similar to Luger’s forearm. Jericho as the home country boy gets a big pop. Edge still has his old music, but gets a bigger pop as Toronto’s own, according to Lillian.

We already are getting the Batista shoulders in the corner which still have that little stomp before them. The red boots aren’t working for him either. Edge stops Batista from hitting the Bomb on Jericho, which makes no sense as it would have made it a one on one match, but what do I know? Lawler says that Edge is opportunistic, so maybe Lawler is smarter than we all gave him credit for.

JR says that he’s complex. Didn’t that aspect of his character get thrown out a long time ago? Edge just towers over Jericho which is very funny looking to me. Batista is down on the floor so it’s Canadian on Canadian violence. Surprisingly the crowd is behind Jericho. I mean they’re REALLY behind Jericho. Edge is actually getting no reaction at all while you’d think Bret Hart was the guy he was fighting.

Batista gets back in and Edge goes for a spear on him, but Jericho knocks Edge out of the way. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? It would wipe Batista out and then it would be one on one again, and since Batista had to make a save to end the Walls of Jericho just a second ago, you’d think that Jericho would want it one on one with Edge.

Anyway, Batista, who for a guy that is supposed to be a killer is on the floor a lot, is on the floor again as Jericho and Edge go at it one more time. This time, Jericho knocks Batista BACK to the floor, allowing Edge to hit the spear to keep the belt to no reaction. I mean the place is silent. It’s very weird indeed.

Rating: C. This was kind of a bunch of revolving one on one matches and while it didn’t fail, it didn’t really work either. Batista needed more seasoning, but screw that I guess because he was put into the main event just a few months later as he won the Rumble and headlined Mania in about 8 months. Either way, this was more about Edge vs. Jericho and while that’s fine, it was supposed to be a triple threat and from that standpoint it was just ok.

Ad for the Benoit DVD.

Recap of Angle and Eddie. They fought at Mania with Eddie loosening his boot so Kurt couldn’t grip it for the ankle lock, leading to a roll up for the pin. Angle then was chokeslammed from a balcony, breaking his leg. He was upset that he had a real injury and Eddie faked one, and says that Eddie has to cheat to beat him.

Angle, the GM of Smackdown at the time, screwed Eddie out of the title in a cage match, so Eddie was ticked. That leads us here, and it really doesn’t sound that good when I think about it.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Luther Reigns, who did nothing at all, is with Kurt here. Eddie comes out in the lowrider, which I’ve always hated. What’s the point of it anyway? Oh look I have a car that can bounce. Yeah that’s really cool. Cole calls Angle a former Grand Slam Winner. For one thing, does that sounds like he won an eating competition at a Denny’s? Either way, how can he be a former winner of it? If he’s won it once, he’s always won it right?

They do a nice technical sequence to start with neither guy being able to hold an advantage for that long. Eddie even goes for the ankle in a nice touch. Angle gets a key lock on Eddie, which Tazz corrects Cole for calling an armbar. As Eddie is getting up, Tazz calls it an armbar. You have to love the thought process sometimes of Tazz, or his lack thereof. Angle finally ends this friendly natured competition with a German, but Eddie gets a full ankle lock on which just looks weird.

Angle counters and hits the slam, then his own ankle lock. In a cool looking spot, Eddie grabs his ankle and for a few seconds, both have ankle locks on the other. Eddie’s is broken though as he apparently has a titanium leg, because being in the hold for about a minute won’t make him tap. There’s having heart, and then there’s just being stupid. This is the latter.

Oh the straps were pulled down inside of 5 minutes. This has been like an Angle match in fast forward. They go to the mat…again. This is like a bad MMA fight where they’re just laying on each other the whole time and no one really does anything. The fans are just completely dead for it as even I’m getting drowsy. Seriously, they’ve been wrestling for about ten minutes and at least 7 of that has been submission holds.

Eddie has a spot whispered to him by Angle, who for no apparent reason has unlaced Eddie’s boot, which in theory would help his ankle by letting it loosen up a bit, but what do I know? Eddie hits a belly to back suplex to get out of another chinlock, but because he’s facing Angle, it’s called an Angle slam. I can’t stand that. Why is it that when anyone else does it it’s an average move, but when Angle does it it’s devastating?

The same holds true for a lot of people. JBL used a hard clothesline which the Steiners did for years, Jericho has a Boston Crab which is a bad example because it never beats anyone, and Lawler uses a fist. Why are these moves so devastating? It’s not like you’re going to get better at them with a lot of practice or strength like the chokeslam or a power bomb.

Anyway, Eddie comes back with punches and the third one is just after his stupid dance, so naturally the power behind it triples. Benoit is ripped off even more by the snap suplexes followed by Eddie going up for the splash. Angle does the run up the ropes belly to belly which is just flat out cool. Luther is shown and my theory that he’s completely pointless is confirmed as he hit Eddie once about 10 minutes ago and this is the first we’ve seen of him since.

After Angle hits a thumb to the eye, which Cole would make you think was a .45 caliber bullet to the face, Angle gets the boot completely off to expose the sock covered ankle. He gets the ankle lock on for about the 12th time after getting up from a frog splash to get Eddie to tap out. Seriously, Reigns was completely worthless here.

Rating: C-. This was just flat out boring for the first 8-10 minutes as it was nothing, and I mean nothing but submission holds. Now that’s fine in theory, but DANG it just got boring after awhile. It was nothing but chinlocks, headlocks and ankle locks. Now once they stopped doing that it got miles better but prior to that it was just flat out horrid.

The dozen ankle locks didn’t help either as it just got stupid after awhile. It made the hold look very weak as Eddie held on for probably three minutes total in it without ever giving up. It just didn’t work at all for me and while others would think it was great, this wasn’t good for me.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. This is why this era from the WWE is looked down on so much. We have probably the best stable since the NWO and their leader is fighting a guy that’s slow. Anyway, this was actually a pretty creative storyline in my eyes.

Eugene was a guy that was a wrestling savant, meaning that while he had no actual training or anything of the sort, he had learned from watching wrestling for many years, and then got trained (on camera) by Regal, making him into a complete wrestler. In reality, Eugene was played by Nick Dinsmore who was a very talented technical wrestler. He’s the undisputed god of OVW, having won the heavyweight title 9 times and the tag titles 10 times or something like that.

Think of Lawler in Memphis kind of. Anyway, Eugene was saved by the Rock when people were making fun of him and he said that HHH was his favorite wrestler. Instead of HHH getting someone competent to help him though, he enlists Eugene as an honorary member of Evolution on a night where Eugene was guest GM.

Eugene booked Benoit vs. HHH for Vengeance for the WHC, which Eugene accidentally cost HHH. He then beat up Regal, who was Eugene’s mentor. That leads us here. The problem here is simple though: at the end of the day, while that storyline at least sounds good, IT’S STILL HHH VS. EUGENE Doesn’t that just sound silly?

HHH vs. Eugene

I now remember why I hate Eugene: you can never get his song out of your head once you hear it. It’s freaking addictive. Why does the annoying character have to be from Kentucky? Oh yeah and Eugene is freakishly strong. In case you don’t remember don’t worry, the announcers will tell you every 38 seconds. HHH shoves Lillian down so Eugene helps her up but gets beaten on for his trouble.

HHH fakes a knee injury, prompting the referee to throw up the fake X. It’s pretty good I think though, as it is pretty good as a way to fool the marks in the audience. HHH jumps Eugene and immediately the crowd starts cheering him, which Lawler and Ross try to pass off as just due to the Canadian fans being bizarre. The thing that I forgot to mention was that the fans absolutely hated Eugene.

The problem was simple: he was used WAY too much. When he debuted he was a character that a lot of people actually liked. It was something that hadn’t been done this well before and the fact that he was actually a very good worker helped things a lot as well. The problem was that they screwed it up the same way they screwed up Santino.

He’s fine in small doses, maybe once a week, but there was a Raw where Eugene was in 6 separate segments and the fans just got sick of the sight of him. His character was never meant to be involved in serious storylines but they did it anyway. The WWE formula has long since been if a little bit of something works, then a lot of it will work a lot better, which simply isn’t the case and hardly ever is.

It certainly wasn’t here, and it never clicked in the WWE’s eyes. They blamed Eugene for not being able to get over, since the booking of WWE can never be wrong can it? Either way, it bombed bad after this, even to the point of them trying to turn him heel, which also failed completely. You can tell HHH is younger here. He’s only an eight time world champion. Eugene does other people’s moves, such as the Rock Bottom.

He goes for the People’s Elbow, but HHH has had enough of this nonsense of stealing moves, and he lets Eugene know about it by nailing him with a AA spinebuster. Lawler gets in a good line about Eugene: he wasn’t even his mother’s favorite and he’s an only child. I forgot to mention: Eugene is Bischoff’s nephew which is why he’s around at all. Eugene actually Hulks Up before flipping HHH off and stunning him as the fans are cheering for some guy named boo.

Flair comes out as Eugene kicks HHH in the face and drops a leg on him. This is stupider than words can describe. He even gets a pedigree but Flair saves him. The referee throws Flair out and Regal nails him with knuckles. HHH takes the time to hit the pedigree and end this finally.

Rating: D. Again, it comes down to this: HHH IS BEATING UP EUGENE. The fans hated him, the match was too long, it’s not believable, and the feud was just bad. It was complete overkill for the character and after this, aside from a tag title run that ended in injury, he never did anything else in WWE. This was just a waste of 15 minutes and I can’t believe this was all they could come up with for HHH.

Diva Dodge Ball

Yes, it’s the girls from the Diva Search, most of whom got hired, against the established divas in a game of dodge ball at the Raptors’ practice facility. Oh and look they’re all wearing bras and shorts.

Here are the rosters if you’re interested: Amy Weber, Joy Giovanni, Tracie Wright (never hired), Maria (hot as a dirty blonde), Christy and Michelle (pre plastic surgery) vs. Victoria, Gail Kim, Jazz, Stacy, Molly and Nidia. That right there shows how stupid the Diva Search was. All but one of the 6 finalists got jobs anyway. Apparently Trish is the captain. The Diva Search girls win.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of time and was for 12 year olds. I hate stuff like this. They actually wasted 5 minutes on this, and yet we get no recap for the Smackdown title match.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Undertaker

We get literally no backstory here as they say these two are having a match and then the lights go out. Yeah that’s great guys. Basically, Taker just said he wanted a title shot and got one. This was just after JBL had won the belt so I think this was his first feud as champion. No one, and I mean no one, bought him as champion because literally this is how it went: Eddie wins title, JBL debuts as the rich guy, challenges, challenges again, wins title.

There was no buildup to his character at all. He had been Bradshaw for years now and all of a sudden he’s a self made millionaire and apparently has been for many years? Yeah, we’re just going to believe that I guess. It was just completely from left field and no one wanted to see him as top heel and it followed him for years as a stigma about him, which I think was unfair and should be blamed more on the bookers.

Until this, his career highlight was 6 days or so as European Champion, and now he’s challenging for the world title as a DiBiase rip off? Starting to see why this didn’t work for about two years? Taker’s entrance as always is awesome as he more or less walks through a tunnel of fire. Apparently JBL attacked Taker on Smackdown a few days ago. Thanks for that great story Cole. Taker is back to the Dead Man now.

JBL still has the big white limp with the horns. He’s accompanied by Orlando Jordan, somehow even more of a waste of space. I think I hate Nick Patrick. He’s just annoying as a referee. JBL is wearing orange/red tights that are just a complete and utter failure. Tazz says he’s not sure how to beat the Undertaker. I thought a pin would work fine but maybe there are separate rules for him. JBL actually goes up top and hits a flying shoulder block that looked pretty good.

Old School connects, which actually is vintage, and Cole reminds us of that. Jordan gets kicked in the head but JBL gets a shot into the knee to end any offense that Taker was on. The fans start doing the wave. I don’t know if that’s a cultural thing, but I’ve always found it rude. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything. If I’m one of the guys in the ring, then I don’t like the fact that the fans are apparently not interested in my match but are interested in throwing their hands up for no apparent reason.

JBL hits the clothesline and of course Taker kicks out of it since that move just completely sucks. Since this is a Taker match, the referee gets bumped and since it’s Nick Patrick, he stays down for about two days. In between we have all kinds of interference and finishers, including a standard clothesline that is called the clothesline from JBL, which stuns Cole that Taker more or less pops up from it. Well DUH.

Taker does the power bomb out of the corner spot that he beat HHH with at Mania 17, but as he goes for the tombstone, Jordan tries to hit him with the belt. Taker does it instead and the referee wakes up just in time to DQ him. Post match, we get the best spot of the show as Taker beats JBL onto the limo then chokeslams him through the roof.

The spot is ok, but it’s great because it led to one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen that I wish I could find a picture of. JBL is in a halo and more or less has his hat tied to his head. It’s funnier than it sounds.

Rating: B-. This was ok I guess, although I think everyone knew Taker wouldn’t get the title off of JBL immediately. There was a rematch two months later at No Mercy that was ok I suppose. This feud was just filler until Cena was truly ready to go, so nothing of note happened here. It was fine though.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title-Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

At the time, Orton was doing the thing where he was like look at me and bow to my greatness. He won a battle royal to get this shot, but that’s not important enough to be told. Fink has mic issues, which Jerry plays off by saying that even Fink is choked up. Ok so they do cover the battle royal thing, but dang did they take long enough? Benoit of course gets a huge pop. I think Lawler has a crush on Orton.

He says that Orton could be a model for statues. DAng Jerry just go blow him already. Test of strength is more or less a tossup. The first good part of this match is these two using all kinds of wrestling holds. It’s very interesting to see Orton working very well on the mat as that’s certainly not something you see from him very often. Granted it may be Benoit making him look good, but at least Randy is capitalizing on it.

Benoit hooks the Sharpshooter and you’d think everyone had been given money, food and sex. Good lord they blew up over it. It’s countered and Benoit’s shoulder is hurt, so the VIPER strikes on it. Did you know Orton is a viper now? Not sure if that caught on, but Orton is a viper! This is a good back and forth match so far. Benoit hits the suicide dive to the floor but Orton moves.

Benoit slams into the wall in an absolutely sick looking spot. I don’t know if that was planned or not but if not then DANG. Actually if yes then DANG. It’s time to chinlock it up as every Orton match comes complete with one. It’s like the toy in a Happy Meal, just not as entertaining. They do a double cross body, which looks awesome too. These two can work really well together actually. They go back and forth even longer and another Sharpshooter is put on.

Oddly enough there’s been limited Crossface attempts. However, I think that’s the best way to go as it wouldn’t make sense for Benoit to try it. Why should he? He’s worked the back and knees all match so why would he, a thinking wrestler, go for the neck and shoulder? He doesn’t and to me that’s a sign of a great wrestler. Finishing moves are fine, but they should make sense.

That’s one thing Ric Flair was always great at. Watch his matches and his offense, or at least 90% of it is either basic offense or working on the legs. That makes such perfect sense and it fits that he uses it like that. He never focused on the neck or back or anything like that, and he shouldn’t have. Benoit goes up and tries the headbutt, but Orton I think tries to roll out of the way.

Either way, the top of his head rams into Benoit’s head and it just looked painful. Just as soon as I type that big long rant about how smart Benoit is, we get the crossface, which I guess I see why that is done in this case because nothing else has worked, so he puts it on him and cranks for all he’s got as a last ditch effort.

Anyway, Orton gets the ropes and in one of my favorite finishes ever, Benoit tries for the Crossface again but Orton gets behind him and nails the RKO for the quick pin and the title. If it tells you anything about the match, the fans give them a standing ovation. The look on Orton’s face is just perfect as he’s completely stunned and it looks like he’s saying did I really just do that? Lawler’s orgasm could stop a drought.

Orton celebrates with the title as Benoit comes back in. He sticks out his hand and shouts for Orton to be a man. Orton shakes his hand as Benoit’s music plays us out. To be fair, he leaves and lets Orton be alone in the ring as he should be. The problem here though is the next night they had another great match for free on Raw. That match still haunts us today though, as it officially kicked off HHH vs. Randy Orton.

Yes, that was the night where Orton was kicked out of Evolution. Note: THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO, and they’re still feuding. The whole cool moment was wasted too, as Orton had the title a mere four weeks, losing his first title defense to, who else, HHH at Unforgiven.

HHH would hold it until Mania where he would drop it to Batista. I hate that as it’s more of HHH dominating the belt while another young guy has a short feud after being built up as the young phenom so well, but that’s Raw booking in 04 for you.

Rating: A. This was a great match. They were back and forth the whole time and while I don’t think anyone expected Orton to win, I think it fit really well as Benoit just couldn’t beat him no matter how hard he tried. It made Orton look like the better man and that’s how it should have been done. This is a very good match that you should check out if you haven’t seen it before.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is really up and down all night between decent stuff and flat out boring stuff. The main event is by far the best match of the show, but that’s not really a surprise. Eddie and Angle is something I definitely could see going either way but it just didn’t do it in my case.

JBL and Taker I thought was good but not great. The opening two matches were good enough, but HHH and Eugene along with the divas thing were just horrid to say the least. I’ll recommend it, but have a remote ready to fast forward some stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

AWA StarCage 1985
Date: April 21, 1985
Location: St. Paul Civic Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Commentators: Doug Cameron, Ken Resnick

This is another of those AWA super shows and obviously, the main event is a cage match. 1985 is about the time where things started to go downhill in a hurry for these guys as a lot of their stars were about to head for the WWF or WCW. The main event is a handicap cage match which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with Verne Gagne talking about someone being behind him.

Tom Zenk/Steve Olsonoski vs. The Alaskans

The Alaskans are Rick Renslow and Dave Wagner and I’ve never heard of either guy. Apparently every match tonight is a tag match. I’m not sure why as the title wouldn’t suggest anything like that but whatever. The Alaskans are guys in red coats that might be made of fur. They also have clubs but the referee steals them. That’s not very nice of him. Olsonoski and we’ll say Alaskan #1 (that’s what they’re called despite being named earlier in the show) start us off.

The Alaskans try to double team in the corner but Steve (like I’m going to write that name out every time) uses some speed to get out of the corner. We stall for a bit as the fans are getting on the Alaskans’ nerves. An armdrag sends #1 to the floor (apparently Renslow is #1) and it’s off to Wagner vs. Zenk. Zenk messes with Wagner’s hair and things slow down again.

Steve and Zenk take some fast turns to work on headlocks but Zenk gets caught in the corner and Renslow takes over. Tom grabs the arm to break that up and it’s back to Steve, who is almost immediately sent into the Alaskan corner for some elbows to the ribs. Off to a bearhug for over a minute before Steve fights out, only to be put in a chinlock. After a few minutes of that Steve is powerslammed for two but he starts a comeback. That gets him nowhere either as he charges into a knee in the corner. This is quite the beatdown.

Steve FINALLY avoids a charge in the corner and makes the diving tag to Zenk. Zenk, a Minnesota man, gets a big pop for the hot tag. He slams both big Alaskans and a dropkick puts let’s say #1 down. Zenk and Steve hit a double back elbow as everything breaks down. A double dropkick hits Wagner for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as they worked the tag formula to perfection. Having Zenk get the hot tag was the right idea as it got the crowd more fired up than they likely would have been for Steve. I’m not sure why they picked Alaska for the heels to be from but I guess it’s for mystery or something. This was a good opener.

The winners say they haven’t teamed together before but they had fun.

Buck Zumhofe/Baron Von Raschke vs. Jimmy Garvin/Steve Regal

Not that Regal. Raschke was injured by Garvin and Zumhofe and Regal feuded over the Light Heavyweight Title for the better part of eternity. Regal has the belt here and is called Mr. Electricity. Apparently we have some tree loving hippies in the crowd as he gets booed out of the building here. Zumhofe tries to start a dance which looks more like the Tomahawk Chop. Regal argues with some fan who is apparently a regular and is rolled up for two.

Zumhofe clears the ring and the fan is the most over person on the show so far. Zumhofe and Regal officially get us going with Mr. Electricity being sent HARD into the corner. He crawls over to Garvin for a tag as things continue to be slow paced bursts of speed to start if that makes sense. Baron comes in to face Garvin and goes after the eye, which is what Garvin injured on Baron in the first place. The fans are WAY into this now so I guess this is a real blood feud.

Garvin finally gets in a punch and brings in Regal to save himself. The Baron’s eyes are raked across the top rope and double teaming ensues when Buck tries to make a save. Garvin comes back in now that the Baron is in trouble and hooks a chinlock which is broken in a few seconds. Raschke GERMANS UP and Garvin’s punches have no effect. He ducks his head though and Garvin kicks him in the face to stop the momentum.

Back to Regal who is immediately caught in a sunset flip for two. That’s the extent of this offensive rush from the German as the beating continues. Baron finally ducks a punch and brings in Buck who cleans house. As fast as he’s going though he gets brought down by double teaming and it’s a chinlock by Garvin.

Regal fights up and hits a cross body for two and it’s back to Baron. Baron knocks Garvin into the ropes and Jimmy is tied up. Once he finally gets untied there’s the Claw from Raschke and everything breaks down. Zumhofe misses a Vader Bomb on Regal but Garvin hits Regal by mistake, letting Zumhofe get the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad or anything but the biggest problem it had was that it was too long. Raschke is a guy who was popular back in his time but he doesn’t really hold up that well, especially as a face. Zumhofe and Regal were far cries from what we would get in lighter weight classes later on, and they never quite got people going like they were supposed to.

The winners say there’s more to come of what you just saw.

We’re told about how awesome Brad Rheingans and Bob Backlund are.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Apparently the commentator had no idea what he was talking about and this is the real match.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Once Backlund left the WWF he didn’t really do much but this was probably the high point of his non-WWF stuff. Rheingans vs. Reed to start which is a pure power match. The idea here is that Brad and Backlund both coached the US Olympic team which I’ve never heard of but maybe it’s true. Anyway Brad gets caught in a headlock but he hits a dropkick to take Butch down. Off to Backlund and it’s time for the arm work.

Forget Backlund because Brad is in before he can do much at all. Larry comes in and Brad puts on a HARD headlock before bringing in Backlund for a bit softer headlock. Brad comes in again and we get some good old fashioned cheating to take him down. Butch and Larry hit a double slam for two followed by a big boot to take Rheingans down, but for some reason he’s able to easily tag out.

Backlund comes in and naturally works on the arm some more. More heel cheating (do I need to bother to explain which team is the heel version?) gets Backlund in trouble and it’s chinlock time. Larry comes in and slams Backlund for two before more double teaming follows. A small package gets two for Backlund but it’s back to Reed with a double ax to the back. There’s a bearhug as Reed slows things down again.

Off to another chinlock by Reed and Backlund is in trouble again. Back to Larry for more stomping to Backlund and there’s the abdominal stretch that Zbyszko loves to use. We can’t have a tag yet though because we need the sequel to the bearhug: the LIFTING bearhug! Just like earlier, a headbutt gets Backlund out of the hold and they collide off the ropes.

Bob makes the tag and even though the referee doesn’t see it, he lets it go anyway. I guess he’s as bored as I am. After a quick cleaning of house, Backlund is brought back in to pound away on Larry, who apparently has a title Backlund wants. That helps a bit I guess. In a very abrupt ending, Larry sets up a piledriver but Backlund backdrops him and stays on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I said, this match just kept going. It’s pretty clear that they’re extending the matches longer than they should go due to the amount of time they have and a total of seven matches on the card. The problem with this show is that the stories for these matches are almost tacked on, making the matches hard to get into. They’re not bad though.

Both teams say they want more.

Sgt. Slaughter says he’s ready for the main event.

Tonga Kid/Jim Brunzell vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Tonga Kid is more famous as Tama of the Islanders. Robinson is British and is more famous worldwide than he is in America. It’s a brawl to start with the heels (Duncum and Robinson) being sent to the floor. Robinson and Brunzell get us started and Billy takes him down with a quick neckbreaker. Off to Duncum who is a Texas man. Tonga Kid comes in and it’s off to a quick chinlock on Duncum. Things speed up and the good guys tag in and out quickly, resulting in a knee to the face of Duncum for two.

Robinson makes the save and the heels take over on Brunzell. Billy hits a gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to Duncum. Brunzell avoids a charges and Bobby’s shoulder hits the post. There’s the first hot tag of the match to the Tonga Kid and house is clean. Duncum is in trouble and the good guys take their turns on the leg of the Texan. Back to Tonga vs. Robinson with the British dude getting hooked in a quickly broken sleeper.

Before Tonga can get in much trouble he tags in Brunzell who hits his signature dropkick on Robinson but Duncum breaks it up. They do the exact same thing again in case we didn’t get the point the first time and the save puts Brunzell in trouble again. Robinson goes for a belly to back suplex on Brunzell but Jim tags Tonga while in the air. Tonga comes off the top with a crossbody for the pin on Robinson. Finally, a hot finish.

Rating: C. That ending helped this a lot. What hurts this a lot is the lack of any story at all. In the other matches we had stuff like a singles feud or something like that, but here there was nothing that we were told of. That’s fine for a filler match, but when you have seven four matches and almost all of them could fit that description, that’s not a good thing. That was a good ending though and again I want to make it clear that the matches aren’t bad at all. They’re just kind of dull.

Paul Ellering and the Road Warriors say they’ll beat up the Hennigs tonight. It’s for the tag titles and I’m not sure who the good team is. The Hennigs would be Curt and his dad Larry. Usually a dad on a team means good, but the Warriors were insanely popular. We’ll see I guess.

Before the match, here’s a music video on the Road Warriors with them “singing”.

Here’s a video set to We’re Not Gonna Take It of various tag teams beating each other up. One of the teams has Mr. Saito on it.

Verne Gagne/Greg Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel/Masa Saito

It’s a brawl immediately and the Gagnes send them both out to the floor. Greg vs. Saito start things off and it’s a chop fest early. Greg armdrags him down a few times and it’s off to Bockwinkel. The idea here is that Verne wants to kill Bockwinkel for something not important enough to tell us about. Bockwinkel comes in and avoids a dropkick from Greg and the beating begins.

Saito beats on Greg for a minute or so and it’s back to Bockwinkel who can’t seem to suplex the younger Gagne. The fans want Verne. Nick works on a front facelock but Greg suplexes his way out of it. Now Saito comes in and works on the same facelock but Greg is inching towards the corner. Bockwinkel runs in to break it up, but Greg makes the tag anyway. The referee didn’t see it though and the fans are getting mad. I love it when that happens in tag matches.

Bockwinkel’s piledriver is countered by Greg but instead of tagging out he runs the ropes and they collide. Greg FINALLY tags in Verne and to the old man’s credit, the place ERUPTS. He cleans house, sending both guys out to the floor with ease. Greg stomps on Saito on the apron and drops a top rope knee on him for good measure. Bockwinkel breaks up Verne’s sleeper on Saito and it’s off to Greg vs. Nick again.

A flying knee to the face puts Bockwinkel down and Greg goes after the knee. We finally get to Bockwinkel vs. Verne and Verne hits a decent dropkick for two. Another one puts Nick down but Verne is old and can’t cover. Saito comes in again and Verne gets chopped up against the ropes. Nick comes in again and trades sleepers with Verne as everything breaks down. Verne gets beaten down but it’s the dropkick the back of the guy getting slammed spot as Verne is kicked onto Bockwinkel for the pin, which was the only possible ending.

Rating: C-. The crowd reaction for Verne really was impressive here but that seemed to be the case on every big show that he came out of retirement on. The same problems are here as they have been all match long, but at least with this one there seemed to be a real feud that people cared about. Still though, decent enough here.

Verne gets beaten down post match until Greg makes the save.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Larry Hennig/Curt Hennig

Curt is almost a baby here while Larry is basically a house on legs. I don’t mean he’s fat. I mean that he’s muscular and large. I think the Warriors are the heels here and I know they’re defending. Larry and Animal start but Animal can’t budge him with shoulders. Off to Hawk who pounds away to some more success. Larry grabs the arm for a wristlock and brings in Curt who looks like he’s in way over his head.

Animal comes in and Curt uses his speed to avoid the monster, before hitting a dropkick to send Animal into the corner. Off to an armbar as I’m surprised that Curt is still in one piece at this point. Hawk comes in and is cross bodied for one as Hennig is hanging in there. A sunset flip is completely no sold and the Road Warriors finally remember that this is 1985 and they’re facing a 27 year old Curt Hennig.

Back to Animal who slams Curt down for two. Larry looks ticked as Hawk casually picks Curt up into the air for some choking. Trongard (the announcer, more on that later) has no idea which Warrior is which, despite them looking almost nothing alike. Off to a chinlock by Hawk and we get the always awesome Paul Ellering yelling at Curt. Curt gets in a shot to Animal’s ribs which forces a tag, but it also brings in Hawk for a gorilla press slam.

The beating continues as Animal comes in with a HUGE clothesline to take Curt’s head off for two. Hawk puts on a camel clutch but lets Curt go to toy with him. Animal comes in but a splash hits knees. There’s the hot tag to Larry who the fans aren’t that thrilled with. Curt is back in way too fast but he hits a missile dropkick for two on Animal. Everything breaks down and Ellering is dragged in as well. Larry hits Animal in the back, sending him over the top for the DQ. Lame ending.

Rating: C-. This was the same as usual for the show. Curt could take a beating and showed that he could do it here, which is why he got a nearly year long reign as world champion a few years aftert this. This match is available on the Road Warriors DVD if you want to see it. It’s labeled differently on that DVD though, as this was broadcast on AWA All-Star Wrestling in August of 1985, which is why Trongard is on commentary here as the tape I was using messed up and I couldn’t see the full match.

Another music video.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jerry Blackwell vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kassie/King Tonga/Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition, King Tonga is Haku and this is in a cage. The reason for the match? EVIL NON AMERICAN SCUM!!! Blackwell and Superstar start things off but Jerry wants the Sheik. That would be a feud that went on for almost half of the 80s. Anyway he gets King Tonga instead and the King immediately tries to escape. That gets him nowhere as Blackwell (who weighs nearly 500lbs) kills him with a clothesline.

Off to Sarge who gets a BIG reaction. Tonga suplexes him down and the match slows a bit. Masked Superstar comes in and is immediately ping ponged between Blackwell and Sarge. That’s not nice to a new guest guys. It works so well that they do it again, this time with Blackwell as the legal man. Superstar gets in a shot to Blackwell and it’s off to Sheik for the usual shots you get from a coward when the hero is down.

Sheik sends him into the cage a few times and it’s back to the King who isn’t as much of a coward. A headbutt gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. I think you win by pin or submission here but it hasn’t really been made clear. Superstar comes in and immediately collides with the fat man. Sheik gets rammed down and Blackwell has been busted somewhere in there. Sheik slams Jerry a few times and man that’s just stupid.

Jerry STILL won’t tag so he rams the fresh Tonga into the cage, busting him open as well. Blackwell gets beaten into the corner but he punches Superstar in the face and tags Slaughter. House is cleaned but the fans don’t seem to care as much about Slaughter this time. Sarge slams Superstar down and goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE. Thankfully he slips a few times and thinks better of it and just jumps off the top, but the knee misses the Superstar.

Since this show hasn’t dragged on long enough yet, Slaughter becomes hopefully the final face in peril of the night. Sarge is busted now and Superstar clotheslines him down for two. Off to a chinlock but Sarge goes for Superstar’s mask to break it up. Sheik comes in and pounds on Sarge with his cast but a weak USA chant allows Slaughter to punch him down and tag out. Everything breaks down and Blackwell hits a top rope splash on the Sheik for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a great match here but DANG that was a good looking ending. The referee falling to the mat almost immediately was good as he knew there was no way that wasn’t the ending. Also at the end of the day, it’s hard to go against the AMERICANS winning. Blackwell vs. Sheik went on too long though and this was just another chapter in that war.

Slaughter and Blackwell brag a lot. Blackwell doesn’t like the training Slaughter has been putting him through but he respects him. That almost sounded like a heel turn speech for awhile but nothing comes of it.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of those shows where the final rating doesn’t reflect the show as a whole. To be clear, none of the matches are what I would call bad. The problem with this show is that it is so freaking REPETITIVE. There are only so many hot tags you can sit through until it means nothing at all anymore. A few singles matches here and there would have helped a lot. Also, where was the world champion? If this is a major show shouldn’t he at least make an appearance? Anyway, the show isn’t bad, but it’s very boring if you sit through it all in one day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I haven’t done one of these on here in awhile.  Time for a PPV Preview.The show on paper has the looks of a good show which isn’t really a shock for TNA anymore.  I can’t believe I’m saying this but this has the potential to be a better show than Summerslam.

For the world title, I’ll go with Roode getting it back.  It’s pretty clear that Roode vs. Storm is coming again, but I can’t see Aries defending the title against anyone in the BFG Series for the title.  Also with there being no rematches, it’s a way to get Aries out of the title picture easily.

In the falls count anywhere match, I’m going to play a hunch and say Anderson.  I can’t imagine Magnus will win as he’s basically one of the jobbers of the Series which is fine.  Van Dam is the other likely candidate and Pope is just Pope.  They might throw it to Pope to shake things up a bit but I’d be surprised.

AJ to win the ladder match.  He’s behind in the standings and this would rocket him up as we close in on No Surrender.

I think I’ll take Hardy to win the tables match.  It’ll be either him or Ray, as there’s a chance that Aces and 8’s count help Ray win to further confuse things.  That would be an interesting twist.

Tessmacher to retain and King to win the title and Chavo/Hernandez to win, in the three filler matches on the card.

Overall this looks like a good looking card and I’m so glad they added different gimmicks to the fourways to keep them interesting.  This is the last show before we get into the BFG cycle which is a good thing as No Surrender is only kind of interesting most of the time.

Thoughts/predictions?