No Way Out 2004
Date: February 15, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re into the brand only shows now and this is Smackdown. It’s also a very famous one as the main event is Brock vs. Eddie for the title and I think you know how that goes. Other than that this is a card looks pretty awful as there is the obvious problem of developing a PPV out of one roster’s worth of talent: you get a few matches that aren’t interesting at all and couldn’t be more clearly filler if they walked up to you with a big sign that said HEY I’M FILLER and shouted “HEY I’M FILLER!” Let’s get to it.

With no intro video or anything like that here are Torrie and Sable who were doing something close to a lesbian thing soon. They’re both in Playboy this month. Apparently there’s nothing they won’t do and then they leave. Wow this was pointless.

Now we get the intro video as Brock is all evil but leaving in a month anyway so he doesn’t care. Goldberg is on the horizon for him so who do you think has a front row seat tonight? Eddie says he’s been here before after his familia turned on him. This was built up almost as a glorified squash with Eddie having next to no chance against the unstoppable machine who has one quick match left before his showdown with Goldberg.

Who thought Cow Palace was a good name for an arena anyway?

Smackdown Tag Titles: Basham Brothers/Shaniqua vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The non Bashams have the titles here. The challengers have Shaniqua, the Tough Enough 2 winner Linda Miles, as their future dominatrix manager. Oh apparently this is a 3 on 2 handicap match for the belts. Using the Mania 5 formula apparently. Scotty and a Basham start. They’re almost identical and it was hard to tell them apart in OVW too. Ok that’s Doug. Never mind as Cole is confused so it’s Danny.

My uncles are named Doug and Danny so I always liked this team. Scotty botches a headscissors and half kills Danny and the fat man comes in. Rikishi was supposed to be like this big powerful veteran or something at this point. I guess he was REALLY sorry for the whole vehicular homicide attempt thing a few years ago. Fat man vs. Doug at this point.

Rikishi brings in Shaniqua and she almost gets a Stinkface. Basically Rikishi is destroying everything in sight but Scotty can’t do much of anything. Classic formula but I’m not a fan of anyone in this other than the name of the Bashams so I’m not really into it. NICE nip up as Scotty was very crisp there. Shaniqua bashes (see what I did there?) Scotty as he’s going for the Worm and he’s in trouble again.

She comes in and beats up Scotty a bit as she was an Amazon kind of chick. It’s kind of amusing to see a guy like Scotty getting beaten up rather easily like that. Double teaming prevents the tag to Rikishi which makes sense. A backdrop gets Scotty the tag and the thong wearing Samoan cleans house. The Bashams save Shaniqua from a Banzai Drop with a powerbomb for two. Scotty clears out the Bashams, allowing a Samoan Drop and Banzai to end the girl.

Rating: D+. This was fine. No one cared and the ending was rarely in doubt, but it was fine. This is your standard TV match or PPV tag title defense. It says a lot when those are almost interchangeable. This wasn’t horrible and the fans were into the faces so that’s about all you could ask for I guess.

Goldberg isn’t here yet. How do you know he’s not getting some aardvark at the concession stand?

We recap Nidia vs. Noble. Noble got some inheritance so the trailer park couple start spending a ton of it. Nidia spent more of it but was blinded by black mist from Tajiri, which somehow led us to a blindfold match tonight. Oh ok she can see now but Nidia gets to see.

Jamie Noble vs. Nidia

See what I mean about a lack of PPV level matches? Nidia hits the floor early on and Jamie pulls the hood off. I smell a bad comedy match. She pulls his jean shorts down and gets a bulldog for two. The vast majority of this match is Nidia kicking him in the rump and dancing behind him. She goes up, he lifts the hood, slams her off the top and throws on a dragon sleeper to end this.

Rating: F. Total comedy match here that was dull beyond belief. Again you can see how bad the whole individual brand PPVs were with stuff like this on PPV. Nothing match here.

We recap Angle’s attack by someone, either Show or Cena who he has a triple threat with tonight. Angle talks a bit about wanting to go to Mania. Cena the rapper comes up and rhymes a bit, naturally starting a brawl.

Only a four week build between No Way Out and Mania? Really?

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw has a bad arm. Both of these teams would split up in less than six weeks. It’s weird hearing about Heat being on Spike TV. Shelton immediately takes Farrooq down to the mat as it’s technical vs. power here. Wow it’s hard to believe Bradshaw was six months from being world champion and would hold it for the better part of a year.

The heels work over Farrooq’s arm as I guess they want the APA to match. Hot tag finally gets Bradshaw in as I wonder how many of these tags are actually hot. BIG powerbomb from Bradshaw gets two. Farrooq eats post outside as Bradshaw hits a fall away slam off the top on Shelton for two. Clothesline From JBL with the bad arm and Shelton hits a big superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here that was just ok. Basic power vs. speed match here which wasn’t anything that bad but it wasn’t worth paying to see I wouldn’t think. With both teams splitting so soon after this, the winners due to the Draft and Farrooq retiring, this wasn’t really of any importance at all. Not bad though, but I could see this same match on a house show probably.

Goldberg is here. I can’t blame him for missing those first two matches.

We recap Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and Lesnar thought he was more important than Goldberg and was mad that Bill was being interviewed so he ran in and eliminated Goldberg who was dominating the match. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to the show and said don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Heyman, who Goldberg speared which got him suspended I believe, is here now. If you’re keeping track, the two wrestlers this segment is about and the two teams in the previous match would mean nothing just after Mania. Heyman says if Goldberg does anything he’s going to jail. Here’s Brock who is reminded that he tapped out which I think was to Benoit.

He’s not scared of Goldberg and says let’s do it right now. Goldberg jumps the rail and there go the shirts. Lesnar dominates early but the F5 is blocked and Goldberg gets the Jackhammer as Heyman screams for security. Handcuffs go on and Goldberg has no issue leaving. Hardcore Holly, who HATES Lesnar comes down to try to get a piece but to no avail.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno

Nice timing if nothing else. This was set up three days ago so there’s no real story other than it’s a rematch after Rhyno couldn’t beat him. Holly sends Rhyno to the floor. Can Rhyno get back in it? Find out when we ret…..this isn’t a TV show is it? I almost forgot. Body scissors by Rhyno as this is a very boring match so far.

Rhyno works the ribs to set up for the Gore later on. Why not just hit it now as it’s going to do more damage to the ribs than whatever else you have. We throw it to the Spanish announce team for no adequately explored reason which is WWE’s custom. After hearing the commentary in Spanish for a bit, it occurs to me that it was the most interesting part of this match.

Perfect as always dropkick by Holly gets two. Middle rope suplex by Rhyno gets the same. The fans seem to be booing a bit here and I can’t say I blame them. Reverse DDT gets two for Holly as we have to be getting close to the ending here. BIG Gore hits but Hardcore hits the floor. That gave me a very disturbing image of him dancing badly. Again it’s more interesting than this match though. And then he gets back in and hits the Alabama Slam to end it. As abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. Technically this was ok but it was a ten minute Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno on pay per view. After this it’s more or less all good from here but the first hour of this was pretty brutal. Not a horrible in ring match but just couldn’t be less interesting if they were trying to be.

Ad for the Monday Night Wars DVD which is definitely recommended. Brisco saying “It was our jobs, it was our lives, it was our families” might be the most overblown line in WWE DVD history.

We recap Chavo vs. Rey. Chavo turned heel out of jealousy of Eddie and since Eddie and Rey are the same person, Rey defended Chavo after Eddie went on to a bigger feud. Rey has some unknown boxer with him and Chavo has his father, Chavo Guerrero Senior who would soon win the Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey has the title here. The lights go out before the introductions and a gong strikes. A Taker video airs and says that in 28 days, the dead will rise. Kane had helped to bury Taker at Survivor Series and he would become the Dead Man again at Mania. This is back when Rey was just the best Cruiserweight of all time rather than the biggest underdog ever. There’s something about Rey not respecting his culture too so Chavo wants the mask, which is a big symbol of Hispanic wrestling culture. Go figure.

He goes for the mask almost immediately which of course fails. We hit the mat for awhile where Chavo dominates for the most part as you would expect. Rey gets up and gets a springboard off the bottom rope which the commentators point out how odd it is. Chavo Senior stops another springboard and gets knocked out by Paez who is promptly thrown out.

HUGE dive by Rey to take out Junior as he checks on his father. Well deserved holy schiess chant as the dime is dropped for two. Tornado DDT is blocked and we head to the corner. Chavo blocks a rana into Malenko’s middle rope gutbuster and Rey is in big trouble. Chavo shows some intelligence by going for the ribs now. He wastes a lot of time though but it doesn’t seem to matter that much.

Rey gets a counter for two as the fans are right back into this now. Another gutbuster has Rey in trouble again though so scratch the whole momentum thing. This match is going on for a LONG time. I’ll give them this though: they’re treating it like a big match which is exactly what they needed to do more often. Rey gets something similar to the Stroke for two.

He gets a DDT onto the apron which always looks awesome. Sitout Gordbuster by Chavo gets two though and it’s Rey in trouble again. Chavo goes for the mask for the second time in about 15 minutes but of course it doesn’t work. Rey TOTALLY misses a moonsault press to the point that Chavo has to run forward to get any contact for Rey. 619 hits but the seated senton is countered into a SICK looking half crab but Rey gets the rope.

It’s not often that a Cruiserweight Title match gets almost seventeen minutes. Rey goes for a springboard move of some sort but Chavo Senior comes out again and shoves Rey off so that Chavo Junior can get a rollup for the pin. Good thing he came out just as the referee wasn’t looking eh?

Rating: B. Solid match here but at times it dragged a bit. This was still very solid with two legit cruiserweights getting to show what they could do. More or less though this was the last gasp of awesomeness of the title though as it would just get stupid after this with Jacqueline and Chavo Senior winning the belt at various times. Very solid match though and it worked.

Ad for Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses.

Chavo talks about how awesome he is and says Eddie isn’t a champion. Eddie is an addict apparently.

We see a tale of the tape for the #1 contenders’ match with Cena’s career highlight being a PH.D in Thuganomics. That’s rather funny. He’s never won anything yet he could get a world title shot at Mania.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show is US Champion at this point. He also has hair at this point which is just hard to get used to. Cena gets the biggest reaction as he’s full on into the rapper gimmick at this point. Cena cuts a short rap which would get him suspended today as it’s mainly gay jokes. Cena has the black shorts on so you know he means business here.

Cena chills in the corner while the other guys fight it out. Show is of course the ultra dominant guy here as he was at the best part of his worthless period here. Everyone stands off in a corner at one point here. Angle gets a belly to belly but Show makes the save. Cena gets knocked to the floor and has a bad knee apparently.

This is a slow paced match but it’s not that bad. Granted we’re not even five minutes into it so it’s a bit difficult to say if it’s good or not so far. Angle tries to German show off the apron but settles for a low blow instead. More or less it’s Cena vs. Angle now which is probably the best possible option for this set of guys. Rolling Germans have Cena in big trouble as he hits about three of them.

Show gets back to break up the pin which works better as instead of sitting around on the floor for like 5 minutes off a single move he was back in a reasonable amount of time. Cena has a big old brace on his knee. Angle is the guy on the floor this time and we see some of Cena’s tenacity here. And so much for that as Show gets a huge suplex for two. Cena gets a dropkick to the knee (move #6 for those of you counting) as Angle adds a missile dropkick to get the big man down.

FU hits Show with relative ease. Love Cena or hate him, he is SCARY strong. Angle takes Cena down though so all three are on the mat. Angle Slam gets two on Show as he kicks out of the FU and Angle Slam in less than a minute. FU to Angle is blocked into the ankle lock but Show chokeslams the heck out of him. No cover though as Cena rolls him up for two.

Chokeslam to Cena as all this is happening in like three minutes. Ankle Lock to Show and he’s in trouble now. Cena takes Angle down and hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle which is just a punch after hitting the ropes without the You Can’t See Me aspect, making it far less annoying. Show sends him into the post but Angle gets the Slam on Show over the top and actually makes Cena TAP OUT to the ankle lock. Didn’t see that coming.

Rating: B. This was a rather solid triple threat with very few down spots and Show actually moving out there. Cena would get the US Title shot at Mania and win in the opener. This was good stuff though and one of the better triple threats that I can remember seeing. Angle’s power was scary here with him just throwing people all over the place and Cena not being far behind. The tap out surprises me very much though as I don’t remember Cena ever tapping. Good match if not very good.

Ad for WWE Originals which was the wrestlers singing their own songs. Guess how well that went.

Mania ad which was a rather good show if I remember correctly.

Tale of the Tape for the WWE Title match says Eddie is going to get massacred.

Eddie won a Royal Rumble on Smackdown to get the shot which was a legit surprise as Angle was the other finalist and Eddie won completely clean. They played up the addiction stuff here and said that Eddie was overcoming his demons which was cool I thought. It really was a feel good story but his world title level stuff kind of came from nowhere but it was nowhere near as bad as JBL a few months later. Eddie’s line of he’ll get his high from winning the WWE Title was simple but perfect for this.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock comes out first here for some reason. Soon after this the music would change from We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal to I Lie, I Cheat, I Steal which was good I though. Fans are TOTALLY behind Eddie here which is no surprise. We have about 40 minutes left in the tape so this is getting A LOT of time. Eddie can’t do anything to start so like an idiot he keeps charging.

All Brock to start here. A rana is blocked into a powerbomb and then Brock just tosses him away as Eddie’s selling is awesome. Brock gets a big running high knee in the corner. If he had done that to Velasquez he might have the belt still. Eddie gets knocked to the floor and has had NOTHING so far. He finally gets something going as he gets Lesnar’s leg around the post and gets him down, opening a door for him.

So much for that as Brock gets a modified Fisherman’s suplex into a kind of slam for two. Jawbreaker gets him out of a rear naked choke. So I guess Eddie is better than Shane Carwin as he can escape a Lesnar choke. Eddie gets a dropkick and then gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Semi-botched German has Eddie on the brink here. Not really but I like how that sounds.

Brock goes for another knee in the corner but crashes to the floor. Eddie adds a plancha and both guys are a bit weakened now. Brock hits a hot shot to take over AGAIN. It’s been about 95% Brock so far but Eddie is hanging in there. Eddie gets a knee lock out of nowhere. Brock gets caught in a leg hold. I’m shocked too. He shifts into an STF and the fans ERUPT.

Figure four doesn’t work as Brock kicks him away. Eddie keeps him down but can’t do much as Brock just keeps firing him off. BIG belly to belly by Brock has Eddie in trouble again. A headscissors has Brock in trouble and now back to the knee. There’s the figure four and it’s not bad. After nearly a minute in the hold Brock realizes he’s next to the ropes and gets free.

More leg work as Cole speculates that Eddie could actually do this. STF again as Brock is in trouble but not for long as he just rolls out. Brock gets a big old spinebuster to take over again and locks on a bad looking crossface chicken wing. Off to a sleeper/chinlock kind of thing but here comes Eddie again, driving Brock’s face into the buckle to break it up. Missile dropkick misses though as Eddie is in trouble again. Great story being told here.

Brock SELLS THE KNEE by lifting his leg up when he gets a vertical suplex. Little things like that are what I mean by selling. Brock shouting at Eddie to die is rather creepy. He gets a gutwrench hold on the mat and Eddie is in trouble again. The perk of a guy like Brock is that even a basic hold like that looks devastating when he does it. Eddie gets back and hits Three Amigos. Frog Splash misses though as this is an excellent match.

The most ridiculous looking ref bump I can remember in a long time happens as Eddie kicks the referee while taking an F5. It was just bad looking with how obvious it was. Either that or the referee is really, really stupid. Brock hits the floor and grabs the belt but GOLDBERG is back and spears the tar out of Lesnar.

Eddie covers for two and misses a belt shot. I love the way Brock throws boots to the ribs. Eddie counters an F5 into a DDT “onto the belt” which misses by about 6 inches and hits the Frog Splash to blow the roof off the place and win the title and do the unthinkable which I was typing before Taz said it. I’m no Eddie fan, but that is a cool moment.

Rating: A. This was an excellent match that got over thirty minutes. The ending was solid as Eddie cheated a bit but that was what he did. Also it was his Frog Splash that ended it rather than anything else. Eddie isn’t someone I can get into as much as his fans do but this was easily his crowning glory and the match worked very well. Probably Brock’s best non-Angle match and one of Eddie’s best ever which is saying a lot as he’s a great wrestler in his own right.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hard one. The last hour and a half of this is quite good but the first hour and fifteen minutes or so is just brutal. If you had just the last three matches, this is borderline A+. The other matches though are just inexcusably weak. It’s not so much that they’re bad but why would I want to pay to see them? It was a sign of the times I guess. Check out the last three matches and the main event for sure. Other than that you’re not missing anything at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1997
Date: August 3, 1997
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,213
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

Well, it’s another year but this time we’ve had some solid changes. Actually, no we haven’t come to think of it. Austin is still a tough guy, but in this case he’s going after the IC Title from Owen. Yes, this is the infamous piledriver match. Other than that, it’s the time just barely before the Attitude Era. We’re not quite there yet but we can see it staring us right in the face.

Montreal was three months away and Taker vs. Shawn would be established at the end of the show. This would of course lead to the first ever HIAC match. Other than that, there’s a lot of the same stuff from last year s we’ve only kind of slightly evolved since Summerslam 1996. This is more of a transitional show, but it still had its moments. Let’s get to it.

We get an awesome opening video about how life isn’t fair for Bret, Taker and Shawn, all of whom are involved in the main event tonight with Bret vs. Taker and Shawn as referee. The tagline of the show is Hart and Soul, which is kind of cool I think. This is all fallout from the EPIC Canada vs. USA war that happened over the summer. This would wind up causing Montreal, which I’m sure you know the story of.

HHH vs. Mankind

In a cage. This is the blowoff for a feud that’s been going on for months. They met in the KOTR finals with HHH winning but they kept feuding forever. HHH is using Ode To Joy which is one of my all time favorite heel themes. This match is just after Canadian Stampede where they brawled all over the arena. It’s escape only which means it’s much better than matches where you can win by pinfall, which I’ve always thought was a cheap way out.

For some reason the governor will be there later. Yeah I don’t care either. How odd is it to have a cage match as the opening to a show? I like it though as it prevents the mind numbing delay of having to put the thing up which is about ten minutes in its own right. Mankind dominates the early part but Chyna keeps interfering, mainly by reaching through and choking Mankind.

Oh and at this time, Austin and Dude Love are tag champions, but Mankind isn’t. That’s what’s great about this character. It’s not three different gimmicks. It’s one guy playing three different gimmicks if that makes sense. They never hid that Foley was all three guys. They wallowed in it. That’s something you simply don’t see and in this case I think it certainly worked. It made him see even more insane than he already was, if that’s possible.

JR says that it’s a no DQ cage match. In the words of Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, is there any other kind? The only noticeable spot for the opening part of the match is a suplex from the top of the cage that’s not hyped up enough by the announcers and wasn’t nearly as good as Hogan and Bossman from 89. They’re going old school here with the big blue bars that need to come back.

Chyna keeps choking and cheating like there’s no tomorrow which is what she’s supposed to do I guess. It’s weird seeing these two as midcarders. We get a Dominic Denucci shoutout. How can you top that? Kowalski would have beaten him though, so that’s not really fair. This is a really physical match as they are just beating the living heck out of each other with some sweet as well as sick shots. Both guys climb the ropes but HHH gets caught in them.

For some reason Mankind goes for the door and in an absolutely sick shot, Chyna slams the door on his head. Foley said this was one of the most painful spots he ever did in his career, and when it’s Mick freaking Foley that says it, that’s a painful spot. Chyna beats up the referee and since it’s no DQ, what can really be done? Chyna finally gets nailed to a HUGE pop from the crowd.

We then get the ending as Foley hits a double arm DDT onto the chair to knock HHH out. He climbs out and is a step away from winning as Chyna is trying to drag HHH out. However, the fans are losing it so Foley pulls the mask off and climbs back up. Chyna, for no apparent reason, stops pulling him and goes to the floor. In the truly famous spot of the match, Foley pulls his shirt open to reveal the Dude Love heard and dives off with the elbow.

Now as he’s climbing again, Chyna starts pulling HHH out but Mankind gets to the floor first to blow the roof off the place in a cool moment. He collapses on the floor but soon his foot starts to tap. Then the music kicks on. He starts dancing. Dude Love has returned, despite holding a title at the moment. This was a cool moment and another example of why the idea behind Foley was so genius it’s hard to comprehend.

Rating: A. This is a great old school 80s style cage match and it was great. With the manager trying to cheat every 3 minutes, the face ultimately triumphing, the big spot at the end and the fans response, this was awesome. Al kinds of sick shots in there but it never went far enough that it wasn’t believable, which is what makes a match like this great. Foley should have won and he did, which makes it even better. Excellent match here and I loved every bit of it.

Todd is with the governor of New Jersey. This doesn’t go well, like, at all.

Tiger Ali Singh is here. This was a gimmick that just sucked. Imagine Khali plus Million Dollar Man plus Hassan, then add in a lot more suck. You get Singh.

Brian Pillman vs. Goldust

This is a weird feud to put it mildly. The basic idea is this: Goldust doesn’t like Pillman because he’s implying that he and Marlena had a relationship prior to her meeting Dustin and perhaps after she met him. For no reason at all, if Pillman loses, he has to wear a dress until he wins something. This is standard pre-Attitude Era stuff.

There’s really not a lot to say here. BAD botch on a sunset flip by Goldust. He more or less crawls over Brian’s back instead of clearing it. The commentary is all about the Pillman/Terri angle, which was fine but kind of generic. The sad thing is Pillman would be gone just months after this so we never got to the end of the angle. Eventually Terri blasts him with the loaded purse to get the pin.

Rating: D. This was just boring, plain and simple. The botch didn’t help things either. It was predictable and fairly stupid, so how can I grade it highly?

Legion of Doom vs. Godwinns

This is stemming from a botched Doomsday Device where Hawk nearly broke Henry’s neck. Godwin just slammed head first into the mat and cranked his neck nearly in half. It was one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen. Anyway, WWF of course decided to play it up in a real feud, because a near death experience is good for one thing: making money off of it, naturally. Anyway, this is a standard late 90s LOD tag match: not very good.

This is another case of a team (the Godwinns) just completely failing as heels. They’re supposed to be fun characters but as heels they’re not menacing, but creepy. Anyway, this is even more standard stuff than the last match. I think that’s the issue that LOD had: they had no substance at all in the latter half of their career. This match is a prime example. They don’t really do anything other than just look intimidating.

Another major issue for them was their lack of involvement in the tag title picture. They were used more to put young teams over, which is fine, but the hype is a bit too much for me, although I could see how some would think it works. LOD wins with a spike piledriver, and after about 10 minutes, I’m just bored pretty badly.

Rating: C-. Again, just a bunch of meh here. It’s bland and dull for the second match in a row and nothing makes me think this should have been on PPV. LOD and the Godwinns were too similar to make this work. Nothing at all here and it was just barely watchable.

For some reason, we have a million dollar giveaway or something like that. It’s really not clear what the point of this is, other than to have Sable and Sunny looking hot. This is a lot like million dollar mania, yet more stupid as the first 3 callers don’t answer.

The people pick a number from 1-100 for a key to open a coffin with a million dollars inside. This takes up 8 freaking minutes, which could have been used for, oh I don’t know, A FREAKING WRESTLING MATCH??? Is there a point to having it in a coffin that I’m just missing?

European Title: British Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock

For some reason that I just don’t get, if Bulldog loses the match he not only loses the title but has to eat dog food. This is even more fallout from America vs. Canada. We hear about a show called One Night Only which was a British PPV where the ending just ticked me off as Shawn took the Title from Bulldog and proceeded to do absolutely nothing with it before handing it to HHH, all because he just didn’t want Bulldog to have it anymore.

Big brawl to start as Shamrock is all kinds of ticked off due to being force fed dog food on Raw. Ankle lock goes on almost immediately but rope is grabbed. This starts off with mainly all Shamrock but a boot in the corner gets the Englishman in control. This is a rather ugly match to put it mildly.

Bulldog takes over while we get a long chinlock. Instead though we see about 15 seconds of the crowd and random people which serve no point at all. Shamrock grabs something off the announcers’ table and blasts Bulldog in the head with it for the DQ.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen but it couldn’t have been much worse. Shamrock and Bulldog had this horrible clash of styles going on here and it made for a very uninteresting match here. At least it was short though at about seven minutes.

The post match insanity is by far more important here as it makes Shamrock look like a freaking psycho, which is what he needed to be all along. He half kills a ton of referees, making him look like a monster. He got the push that he needed because of stuff like this. Oh and he choked Bulldog out.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Oh dang why did I put up the Euro match? This is the gang wars period of the WWF, which NO ONE wanted to see. The original idea was to have three groups: the Nation, the Boricuas and the DOA and have them randomly fight each other. While that sounds ok in theory, the Boricuas had one guy anyone had ever heard of in Savio Vega. Go check their wiki pages and see what I mean. The other three have one major career accomplishment: being in Los Boricuas.

As for the DOA, they were ok as well, but they were just a generic biker team fighting a bunch of tiny guys and always losing. The Nation you already know. The problem here was simple: there was no story. Why are these teams fighting? We’re never told. They’re just feuding, but we don’t know why or over what. There were never any promos or anything like that.

It’s just fighting for the sake of fighting which NEVER WORKS. This is an 8 man tag, so at least we don’t have to worry about multiple matches. At first the Nation was in this feud too, but they eventually dropped out when they realized they had actual careers. The biggest issue with this feud though: the DOA NEVER WON. It was always an upset for the Boricuas, which makes even les sense as if they’re dominating, how can it be an upset?

What are you expecting here though? It’s an eight minute match followed by a run in from the Nation which is accompanied by Ahmed who botches the Plunge on Chainz on the floor, leading to him getting pinned. I forgot Ahmed’s horrible heel turn that lasted all of five minutes. He joined the Nation and of course was injured within a month. He was even supposed to get the title shot at Canadian Stampede but that didn’t happen, as he couldn’t stay healthy for more than 10 minutes.

Rating: D. My goodness what was the point to this feud? It made no sense, no one liked it, and it was boring. Just a waste of time for guys like Crush and Brian Lee that were good workers, stuck with this stupid of a gimmick.

We get the recap for the showdown between Austin and Owen. This is based off one thing: Owen pinned Austin (which was a big deal) at Canadian Stampede. Hart was the IC Champion, yet him getting a pin was a big deal. That either makes no sense, or shows you how big Austin was. I think it’s a bit of both.

Since Hart beat Austin, naturally it means Austin should get a title match. Umm, right? Oh if Austin loses he has to kiss up to Owen, literally. Well let’s get to it, as this is far more famous for one spot than for anything else, as you likely already know.

Intercontinental Title: Owen Hart vs. Steve Austin

On the way to the ring, Michael Cole, a newcomer at this point, tries to talk to Austin by calling him Mr. Stone Cold. It’s what you’d expect, but Cole is always a tool, now and forevermore. The pop for Austin is huge, as you can see he is the undisputed future. Owen goes for the knee while Austin is up on the ropes and the start is very fast. The crowd being white hot helps a lot here, as this is a heated feud already and they’re both looking great early.

Austin works the arm here and actually does it really well. It’s weird seeing him use technical stuff, but he’s doing it quite well here. Before the neck injury he was a completely different worker, but after it he found something that worked perfectly for him, so while obviously it’s not good that he hurt his neck, it turned out as well as possible for him. I know I’m doing more play by play for this one, but this is followed by a pair of spots that I really like.

Owen comes up from a wrist lock and does that series of flips that he’s always used to counter it, which I’ve never understood. At the end of that all he does is grab the other guy’s wrist. Does he need the flips or an I missing something here? Anyway, he does all those, and Austin just pokes him in the eye to get control back. It’s one motion, almost like what Piper would do.

After that he goes to a hammerlock and Owen grabs his head and jumps into the air to try to flip Austin over. Steve just stands there and lets Owen slam into the mat. I love those as they’re so simple yet so effective, which is a lot of what Austin’s offense was based on if you think about it. His main offense was kick, punch, jump on people (Thesz Press) and Stunner, which is grab them and sit down. That’s really not a lot when you think about it.

Anyway, moving on. Owen works on the fingers and hand, which against a guy whose main offense is throwing punches makes a ton of sense. Austin even busts out a powerbomb for a counter, which isn’t something that I’ve ever seen him use. It’s always fun to see guys throw new stuff like that from nowhere. It keeps things exciting. Owen hits a neckbreaker which is frightening foreshadowing.

I think he’s selling the move, but I think it’s more legit than work here, which explains a lot about the upcoming move. German suplex and Austin’s neck is hurt even more. My guess is he initially got hurt in one of these moves but of course the big one was the piledriver of course. Vince tries to figure out why he’s one of the most popular wrestlers today but he just doesn’t get it. That amuses me for some reason, as they lay the ground just slightly for Austin vs. McMahon.

And there it is. Austin is dropped on his head, changing his career forever. This really was scary as it was entirely possible that he never could wrestle again from that injury. That’s a very scary thought to say the least. Completely apart from his health issues, this meant a ton as far as the WWF went.

Austin’s injury and Vince not allowing him to work because of it was one of the earliest issues that the pair had, as Austin and the fans wanted to see him get in the ring but Vince said for the safety of Austin, he couldn’t allow that to happen. This is a case where real life and wrestling mix, which usually makes for better angles and promos. It’s easy to convey an emotion in front of a camera when that’s how you really do feel.

As for the match itself, I have to give credit to Owen here as he handles this as well as he can. You can see him setting for a cover and I guess Austin says that he’s hurt to him or something, as Owen looks down at him for a second and then gets up and plays to the crowd to buy Austin some time. There was no way Austin could have kicked out there and you certainly couldn’t fault him if he got pinned.

About thirty seconds later Vince gets that something is wrong after clearly being upset at first. After that he calms down and says that Austin must be hurt. JR I think handles it better by not really ignoring the injury but taking the focus off of it and talking about the Canadian and American fans chanting at each other.

I could see this going either way but I’d rather use Ross’ method here, as it keeps the story going on the chance that Austin is able to fix himself and that it was just temporary, which there’s no way to tell the extent of the injury this quickly.

Either way, it was handled well I think. We then get the worst roll up of all time as Owen sells like a god to try to make it look like he’s in trouble, but Austin is more or less just laying there with Owen’s legs in the air as it was the absolute best he could do at the time. The referee fast counts as well as he can to give Austin the title as he just collapses afterwards.

This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen as he can’t even walk on his own. The referees have to carry him out, but not before he throws the belt over his head and gets another massive pop. You can tell just by the look on his face that he’s completely gone.

Rating: B. The match itself was actually really good I thought. They went back and forth and due to the finish they had, it’s obvious that Austin was going to get the title in what I’m assuming would have been just a standard Austin finish which would have worked just fine.

I’m certainly not going to hold the ending against them as there was nothing they could have done about it. These two had great chemistry together and it showed here. Excellent match that could have bordered on classic and been famous rather than infamous.

We get a recap of Bret vs. Taker, which more or less is Canada vs. America again. Shawn is referee as you know.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Bret wants the Canadian National Anthem to be played. His heel stuff was just masterful to say the least. Shawn’s pop is big to say the least as he is the referee like I’ve said many times now. He and Bret are forever linked together and that’s obvious even now, which is saying a lot considering their biggest moment would be about three months later. Oh yeah Taker is here too.

Another massive pop for the WWF Champion as the crowd is red hot tonight, despite the show kind of sucking. The explosion when the lights come on draws one of the loudest short pops I’ve ever heard. Apparently there’s a ton of stipulations here, with the main one being if Bret doesn’t win the title he can’t wrestle in America again, so the ending is pretty clear. There’s also one on Shawn, but it’s not made clear.

Bret jumps Taker and hits him with his own belt before the match starts, because he’s a real Canadian. For the most part, the opening here is just a brawl. That’s fine as both guys can certainly fight, and this is no exception. Shawn is trying to call it fair, but you know something is coming later on. This is a long match though as there’s 30 minutes to go and we’re just started.

We get a report that Austin has no feeling in his hands and has been taken to a hospital. As you may know, it wasn’t a good diagnosis. For the most part, Taker is dominating. Of course, just as I type that Bret starts his comeback as Taker is called a redwood for the second time in about 5 minutes. Ross’ line of Bret having visions of sharpshooters dancing in his head made me laugh.

Bret gets a figure four as we touch on Taker never losing by submission. As this hold is on, Paul Bearer comes out. Apparently he’s been saying Taker’s brother is still alive. Yeah nothing is ever going to come from that angle. After escaping, Taker goes outside and drills Bearer but Bret takes over again because of it. We get the Heartbreaker, which is the figure four on the post.

I still don’t get how that’s really a big additional help but whatever. Owen and Pillman hit ringside for no apparent reason other than being nefarious. “They’re not offering moral support. They don’t have any morals.” That was kind of clever and kind of crap. After a good long time HBK gets rid of them, but in doing so he misses the cover following a chokeslam.

Somehow of course Hart pops back up and gets the second rope elbow, just after a double bird to the fans. I love how a heel turn can make whatever you preached for a year mean nothing at all. Always loved that quick legdrop that Bret uses from time to time. Bret goes for the sharpshooter as Shawn looks in very close. I guess he’s taking notes on how to put it on properly for later on or something.

Oh come on I had to make one joke. Taker with a sweet over the top rope from the apron chokeslam. This has been a very solid match, but I’d have preferred no Shawn. He’s not hurting things as he’s been consistent and he had to be there for the ending, but I’d have preferred a standard match here. Ross says that we’re seeing Vintage Hart. Oddly enough, Cole was a relative rookie at this point. I guess he also took good notes.

Finally we get the sharpshooter, and after it’s been on for a little while, Taker just launches Bret with nothing leg strength. Isn’t it amazing how after one person (Austin) broke the unbreakable hold, it happens more and more? That always makes me chuckle for some reason. Bret counters a tombstone and puts the Sharpshooter on again, but this time he uses the post. However, the post isn’t even touching Taker’s leg or back, making the use of the post, say it with me, COMPLETELY POINTLESS!

Seriously, it’s not even touching him and because it’s there, Bret can’t put any torque on the hold. Isn’t the point of the hold to raise up the legs while the torso stays still to put pressure on the knees and back? With this it’s like Taker is just lying on his stomach with his legs crossed like he’s in Terms of Endearment. Now how’s that for a bad image? To get out of it, Taker kicks him off with ease, since there’s NO PRESSURE ON HIS LEGS.

Of course Bret lands on HBK, and Michaels assumes that Bret just jumped on him, since of course Bret would just jump on him and let go of a hold. Bret slams Taker with a chair as Shawn is trying to get his knee to work, and since it’s Shawn’s knee, you know that’s nothing but legit. I mean it’s not like he’d fake a knee injury for a match involving Hart. That would be just a waste of everyone’s time and effort, so why would Shawn fake a knee injury in an angle involving him and Bret Hart?

Such a thing would obviously be impossible. Anyway, Shawn comes back in and asks Bret about the chair. As this is happening, Taker gets up and is standing behind Bret. Shawn is standing there arguing with Bret and pulls back the chair. Now let’s pause for a second here. Shawn is looking at Bret. Bret and Shawn are arguing. Bret is considered to be one of the smartest wrestlers of all time. Shawn pulls back the chair.

Was Shawn supposed to think that Bret was just going to stand there and get hit in the freaking head with a chair? Oh and don’t worry about the big demon behind Bret. He’ll just move. You get the point don’t you? Yeah, that ends Taker’s title reign as Shawn is completely disgusted that he had to do that, since obviously there was nothing more intelligent that he could have done in this case.

The fans are going nuts as Bret is pelted with garbage while Taker leaves to go get him a piece of HBK. Insert your own Becca joke here. For no apparent reason, this is the upset of the year or something. Why? Bret is a former what, 3-4 time champion? Is it that far out of the realm of possibility that he could beat the Undertaker for the belt? We go to replays as Bret is joined by the Hart Foundation and the party is on.

They’re still talking about how this is shocking. WHY IS IT SHOCKING??? Pillman runs up and kisses the belt as we go off the air, which is sad as he would be dead in two months or so.

Rating: A. VERY good match. They hammered each other the whole time, and as I’ve said countless times, the key to a great match is not knowing who the winner would be. While it was clear given the stipulation about Bret that he would win, I actually forgot about that. That’s the sign of a good match in my eyes. Absolutely great match here and something that you should go out of your way to see.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very hard grade for me to come up with. The show could be called good but some could call it awful. As you can see, I liked it more than I didn’t like it. This is very hit or miss. The best summary I can give you: the parts that are good are good and the parts that are bad are bad. The cage match is excellent and to me the best match on the card, but I’m a fan of the older style.

The main event is solid as these two have great chemistry together and brought it hard here. I’m fine with the ending as it set up one of the great blood feuds of all time. The rest of the card is at least ok. The IC match is more infamous than famous but it certainly holds up. To sum up in one word, Summerslam 97 is passable.

It’s got enough good here to make it above average, but not by much. Too much filler in a row and the million dollar thing was just a waste of time. Overall, it’s certainly not bad, but it could have been better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: November 9, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

This is another request and I have no idea what it was requested for. This would be a few weeks after Halloween Havoc and about two weeks before World War 3. Goldberg is world champion but the top feud is probably Bret Hart vs. DDP. I really don’t remember much about this time in the company’s history but they’re in trouble against Raw at this point. The bottom hasn’t fallen out yet though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of Hogan saying he’s running for President. He announced this on the Tonight Show and I’m just going to move past it. It’s a montage of his pictures and that’s about it. Think the Real American video but not as impressive.

Gene and Bobby are in the back waiting for Hogan and here’s a limo. Make that two limos. It’s both NWO teams and they immediately brawl. Hall gets thrown in a trash can. Why do I have a feeling that isn’t the first time that’s happened to him? Konnan holds off Giant with a pipe and that’s about it.

We get some clips of Bret hurting DDP and Sting for some reason.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Juventud Guerrera

Things speed up immediately and here’s Bischoff to the announce desk. He says that the President will be here tonight and Gene needs to stay where he is. I’m so glad we stopped looking at a fast paced match to look at Bischoff’s back as he talked. The fans chant various curses at Bischoff as Juvy takes over with some kicks in the corner. He goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Kaz. Hayashi is one of those guys that was talented but never went anywhere for various reasons.

Tenay points out that the NWO battle in the parking lot did in fact take place in the parking lot. Thanks for that Professor. After a quick trip to the floor, Kaz takes him back inside and pops Juvy in the head. Juvy tries a dive of some sort but Hayashi moves, sending Juvy through the ropes to the floor. A BIG springboard dive takes Juvy down and Kaz is in full control. There’s a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a dropkick to the ribs as Kaz focuses on the back and ribs, hence why he used a move to each of them.

The idiot fans think this is boring for some reason. Off to a rib stretching hold by Hayashi but it’s quickly broken up. The fans are still chanting boring for some reason. They chop it out and man those things are HARD. Kaz chops him into the corner and we actually get a commercial break in this match. Back with Juvy kicking Kaz down and diving to the floor to take both guys out.

Back in and Kaz clotheslines Guerrera down and the match slows down a bit. Kaz stands around too much and gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A brainbuster puts Juvy down for two. Juvy kicks him in the ribs but his powerbomb is countered into a rollup for two. Here are Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. As the camera is on Miller, we can see Guerrera hitting a hurricanrana in the background. You know, the unimportant stuff. Juvy Driver is countered and Kaz rolls up Guerrera, only to have Miller distract the referee. Sonny kicks Kaz in the head and Juvy rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Bad ending aside, this was a pretty solid TV opener. How often do you see a cruiserweight match with guys of this name value get twelve minutes on Nitro? If this is the result I’d be fine with it happening more often. Good fast paced match here, even though the ending was designed to set up a tag match at the PPV.

We get clips of Nash getting beaten up by the NWO from a few weeks back. They’re really pushing the random videos tonight for some reason.

Alex Wright vs. Barry Horowitz

Yes that Barry Horowitz. Wright makes sure to tell the ring announcer that he does not want to hear ANYTHING from the crowd during the match. You know, because Barry Horowitz requires perfect silence to beat. Barry jumps him but Wright takes him right down to the mat. Horowitz comes back with a European Uppercut in a nice bit of psychology but Wright gets up two feet in the corner. We see what looks like a Secret Service guy as Wright hits a dropkick for two. They head to the floor and the Wolfpac howl goes off. Here they come and the match just kind of ends. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

Konnan does his usual stuff and Nash quotes Popeye, saying that he can’t stand anymore. That’s an image I never thought I would see. He talks about the brawl earlier with the Black and White and says the Wolfpac is never going to back down. Nash issues an open challenge to ANY combination of the Black and White for later but he wants Hall in it in some form. Luger says he wants Bret, who injured him a few weeks ago, and Konnan rambles incoherently. Cue Bischoff who calls Nash Estrogen Boy. They’ll get the Black and White tonight and just wait in the ring. Nash calls Bischoff Estrogen Boy too. Ok then.

Lodi vs. Scott Norton

Wasn’t the Wolfpac supposed to stay in the ring? Apparently it’ll be Hall/Giant vs. Luger/Nash later. Chop, powerbomb, pin, Norton wins. This was nothing. Norton is IWGP Champion at this point.

Here’s Disciple of all people for a chat. He says he’s his own man but here are Stevie Ray, Horace and Vincent. Gee what a threatening group. Horace gets to be the mouthpiece and it’s instantly clear why he NEVER got to do that more than once. Disciple (Brutus Beefcake if you didn’t know that) argues back and there’s the three on one beatdown. Horace whips him with a belt but Disciple fights back. The beating continues until Warrior comes out for the save and a big reaction. There’s an OWN shirt shown and that’s it. No literally that’s it, as Warrior was never seen in WCW or any major company again.

Gene and Bobby are in the back again and are apparently waiting on the arrival of Bill Clinton. We get a shot of a motorcade arriving and some people in suits, who are supposed to be Secret Service agents, tell Gene to leave. There are two limos here at least. We’re told that Hogan will announce his running mate here tonight as well. The cameramen are shoved back and we cut to the arena with some Presidential music playing.

Of course it’s not Clinton, but rather Hogan with a bunch of boas around his neck. There’s a huge American flag being lowered from the ceiling and Bischoff is here too. Is this some kind of big joke because of Jesse Ventura? I never quite got that. Hogan talks about how Jesse the Mind Ventura is steering Minnesota in the right direction and how proud he is of Jesse.

Hogan says his phone has been ringing off the hook and he’s decided that he’s running for President with Bischoff as the campaign manager. No party is mentioned but we do get a Monica Lewinsky cigar joke. This went on for a few weeks and then was never mentioned again due to reasons of stupid.

Buy WCW/NWO Revenge! No really, that game was pretty good, and it’s only SEVENTY BUCKS from WCW.

Here’s Bret Hart for a chat. As he’s coming to the ring we get a clip from last week with him injuring DDP in the Sharpshooter. Bret says Luger was lucky to escape with his life last week and that Sting needs to get well because there’s more where that came from. As for DDP, he’s in a hospital thanking God that his career isn’t over. Bret says just send him the belt and everything will be cool. Tonight he’ll beat up Konnan and that’s about it. It never ceases to amaze me how much they wasted Bret in WCW.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is during the LWO days. Eddie is the leader and wants Rey involved but Mysterio wants nothing to do with them. Eddie offers Rey a shirt before the match but Rey holds up his own shirt in response. Rey trips up a charging Eddie and pounds away on the ropes. Guerrero bails to the floor and comes back in on his knees. That’s a new way of begging for mercy. Well new to wrestling at least.

A headscissors puts Eddie back on the floor so it’s time to change strategies. Eddie takes Rey’s knee out and stomps away at it and Mysterio is in trouble. Eddie’s powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Eddie rolls through into a leg lock. Rey is put on the apron and Guerrero cannonballs down onto the leg over the top rope. Back into the ring and it’s another leg lock but Rey rolls him up for two.

Leg lock number three goes on and things slow down a lot. Rey gets to the ropes and manages to climb the ropes and hit a springboard headscissors to put Eddie down, but his knee slows him down. Eddie dropkicks him back down and it’s time to go to the knee again. A slingshot hilo lands on the knee and we head to the floor. Eddie dropkicks the steps into Rey’s knee which is up against the post. Mysterio is in big trouble at this point.

Back to the leg lock as things slow down again. The fans look at something on the left hand side of the ring and even Eddie stops to look at it. Rey avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster. A slingshot moonsault gets two for Rey, followed by a jumping X Factor for no cover. The layout bulldog gets another two for Rey but Eddie suplexes him down to take over again. Eddie puts on another leg lock but here’s Crazy Chavo. Eddie yells at him, allowing Rey to roll him up, botch the rollup, and then roll him up again for the pin.

Rating: B-. This falls firmly in the category of pairings that you can’t screw up. The leg work here was fine and while I’m not wild on the ending, the match worked fine. It was also a different style than you would expect from these two but it still worked well. Good stuff here and that’s a sign of talent, as both of them were out of their element with this style.

Rey saves Chavo from an LWO beatdown post match.

Here’s Bischoff who says that he’s still the boss even though he’s Hogan’s campaign manager. Flair is still not wrestling because of a failed physical apparently. He talks about JJ Dillon overstepping his bounds by firing Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner. Some attorneys come out and waste more time before cracking some jokes and getting beaten up by Bischoff. Joseph Park they are not.

We get a LONG recap of Dillon fining Steiner and Bagwell from last week. The two of them came out and terrorized Dillon and destroyed the announcers’ desk. Steiner says no one can control him and they called out Kenny Kaos, who was Rick Steiner’s interim tag title partner. Being the idiot that he is, Kaos gets beaten down and laid out. Then on Thunder Nick Patrick got beaten down as well.

Scott and Buff come out with Scott saying his usual stuff, including a rant on Piper being the commissioner and a coward. Apparently no referee will work a Steiner match so Buff is going to do it. Scott demands an opponent so here’s what we get.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Adams

Uh…yeah. There’s no match here as it’s a double beatdown. Rick Steiner runs out for the save and says he’ll find a partner and put the titles on the line tonight.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner/Judy Bagwell

Yes, it’s Buff’s mama. Buff tries to hit his mom to start but she ducks and knocks him to the floor. This is for the world tag team titles. Rick knocks Buff to the floor and Buff says he’s not fighting. Scott insults Judy and there’s a challenge for a match at the PPV. Judy says she’ll do it at the PPV and get paid this time. Only in WCW people.

Konnan vs. Bret Hart

This has to be better. I mean, it’s impossible for it to not be. This is Wolfpac vs. Black and White. Konnan immediately takes him down in the corner and stomps away. Out to the floor we go and Bret is sent into the barricade. Bret comes back with a rake to the eyes and we head back inside. A bit of trivia for you: Konnan is credited as the man that taught Bret the Sharpshooter. The Canadian hits a Russian on the Cuban but the elbow from the middle rope hits a boot. Well the boot hits Bret’s jaw but you get the idea.

Konnan comes back with some choking which doesn’t give me a ton of confidence in his chances of winning here. Bret gets pounded down in the corner but when Konnan goes after the referee, Bret takes Konnan’s knee out. You know it’s not going to take much to get Bret to go after an injured limb and Konnan is in big trouble. The fans want Sting as Konnan’s leg is wrapped around the post. Bret hits the knee again and then grabs a chair to beat on it for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was all about adding another body to Bret’s hit list and that’s fine. The match was nothing of note as Konnan wasn’t in Bret’s league but he was a big enough name for this to mean something. DDP would face Bret at the PPV and the injury angle would more or less disappear, which is a shame as the Hitman name was perfect here.

Luger makes the save and Konnan goes out on a stretcher.

Gene asks Jericho to come out here. Jericho says this is where he was born and he’s glad he left because this place sucks. Jericho asks “Greenberg” to come out because he’s 4-0 against him so far. Ralphus says Goldberg isn’t here but we see Goldberg in the back wrecking Jericho’s stuff. Jericho has his back to the monitor and has no idea this is going on. Cue Goldberg, who sneaks up on Jericho and spears the tar out of him. He talks some trash and leaves Jericho laying. These two never had a match in WCW because who would want to see that right?

Kevin Nash/Lex Luger vs. Giant/Scott Hall

Main event time. Hall tosses the toothpick but Nash counters with some spit. Classy guy there. Nash pounds him into the corner and hits the framed elbow and long leg choke. I don’t think we’ll see much besides signature stuff here. Hall escapes Snake Eyes and pounds away but Luger makes a quick save. Hall bails from some deadly posing and Luger beats on him a bit, again with just signature stuff.

Scott finally rakes the eyes and gets Giant in and it’s the same monster vs. any sized guy stuff you’ve ever seen: Giant beats on him, Luger punches to no avail and then Luger chokes. Hall comes in illegally and Luger has to beat both of them up at once since Nash is looking for hair care products. Giant finally hits Luger low to break the momentum and uses his fattness to take over.

Back to Hall who chokes in the corner as the fans chant for the Wolfpac. Has Nash just fallen off the face of the earth or something? I know he’s in the corner but I haven’t seen him do anything for about five minutes now. Giant breaks up a tag to Nash and chokes Luger on the ropes, being aided by Hall.

The Black and White (Hall and Giant) take turns for a few minutes with as basic an offensive set as you could ask for. The fallaway slam looks to set up the Outsiders’ Edge but Lex backdrops out of it. Nash FINALLY gets the tag and cleans house, hitting Snake Eyes on Hall and big boots for both guys. And never mind as here’s Bret attacking Nash’s knee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull but for a main event tag it wasn’t the worst match in the world. Hart coming in was a bit of a surprise so it didn’t come off as a cliché or anything like that. The NWO war would go on for months until the point where no one could keep track of who was on which side, nor would anyone care.

Bret, Hall and Giant work over Nash’s knee until Luger makes the save with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While nothing great and still too long at three hours, this was a pretty entertaining show. Until the Fingerpoke of Doom, Nitro was still a pretty entertaining show. If they could have found a way to wait out WWF’s time on fire, they could have kept the war going for years. Instead they tried quick fixes and made some horrible decisions, resulting in their demise. This was a good show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

The big story tonight is that we’re going to find out who the new GM is tonight. For some reason WWE decided to tell us who it was on WWE.com the day that it happened but it’s not like they care about Smackdown anyway. Other than that I’m sure Sheamus and Del Rio will find ways to bore us that the world never dreamed was possible. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians’ GM. Thanks for not trading for a starter or two and dooming our season.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Josh says this is the first time Vince has been on Smackdown in three years. That can’t be true can it? He talks about the process of picking a new GM and says it has to be someone the people respect. The new GM is Booker T. Cole: “Thank goodness! That means he won’t be on commentary!!!” Booker thanks Vince and the Board but is interrupted by Del Rio.

Del Rio goes into his schtick about becoming the new world champion and Booker tells him to stop sucking up. How exactly he was sucking up isn’t really clear but whatever. Booker talks about what Del Rio said on Monday about Sheamus, including how Sheamus is beneath him. Sheamus is a peasant and was born poor and here he is. Sheamus congratulates the new GM on being the new GM and says the first pint is on him tonight.

Sheamus says he’s proud of where he came from and says he wouldn’t take a few weeks off out of fear like Del Rio has done. Del Rio says he won’t be competing until Summerslam but Booker disagrees. Both of them will be in the ring tonight but Del Rio says no. Booker says yes he is and he’s facing Randy Orton. I’m so glad they spent the time having Del Rio say he wouldn’t fight until Summerslam and made it last less than four days. Sheamus’ match is up now.

Sheamus vs. Tensai

Tensai cuts an inset promo in Japanese. Ok then. They brawl into the corner to start and Tensai knocks Sheamus back with a shoulder block. Sheamus grabs the arm but it turns into another slugout. The champ knocks him into the corner and takes Tensai down to the mat for a chinlock. Tensai comes back with an elbow to the face and pounds away. For the life of me I don’t get why they don’t just let Tensai be Albert or A-Train again. At this point he’s just A-Train speaking Japanese and no one cares, so why not change it back?

Sheamus shrugs off the punches to the face and knocks Tensai to the floor. Back in and Tensai knocks him down again and stomps in the corner. Sheamus kicks him away and pulls himself to the top but has to jump over Tensai instead of hitting the top rope shoulder. Irish Curse is broken up so Sheamus clotheslines Tensai to the floor instead. Tensai catches Sheamus in a dive off the apron and rams him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Tensai hitting a Vader Bomb to the back for two. A bearhug goes on but Sheamus quickly escapes. He can’t slam Tensai so Tensai kicks him in the head for two. Another Vader Bomb is broken up but so it the electric chair Sheamus wanted to try. Instead he just knocks Tensai off the ropes and out to the floor. When all else fails go simple I guess.

There are the ten forearms and Tensai appears to have a cut on his stomach. As Tensai is coming back in he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets sent into the post and the Baldo Bomb gets two. A Tensai charge misses and the Brogue Kick gets the pin at 10:20 shown of 13:50.

Rating: C. From a technical standpoint this was a pretty good power brawl, but my goodness these guys aren’t interesting at all. Tensai is a warm body with a bald head and tattoos on his face and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there to say about him? Sheamus is one of my favorites but he has almost no character at all. The match was fine but my goodness I don’t know why they think people are going to care about these two or Del Rio for that matter.

Eve sucks up to Booker and tries to get a job. Booker doesn’t seem interested and hires Teddy Long as his senior adviser. Booker sends Eve in her little black dress out.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cole takes a jab at Sarah Palin before the match for some reason. Uh oh, she might yell at him on Facebook. Cesaro says hi to us in five languages before the match. Cesaro immediately takes Santino into the corner but gets rolled up for two. A gutwrench suplex puts Marella down and it’s off to a chinlock. Santino makes his comeback with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Gotch Style Neutralizer is broken up and the Cobra gets two due to Cesaro’s leg being under the rope. Out to the floor and Santino is sent into the barricade. Back inside the Neutralizer gets the pin at 2:34.

Bryan is in the back and we get a video on his psych evaluation from Raw. Bryan says he has no comments and that he’s going to be saying NO a lot more often because the fans have stolen his catchphrase. He also doesn’t need another psychiatric evaluation. As he’s shouting no, the lights go out and it’s time for a six man.

Christian/Chris Jericho/Kane vs. Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler/The Miz

Bryan has a NO NO NO shirt now. Christian and Bryan start things off and the fans chant YES. Bryan takes him to the mat and stomps away but Christian speeds things up and takes Bryan down with a shoulder block. Off to Kane with the top rope clothesline for two. Bryan avoids a charge to send Kane into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Jericho comes in but gets distracted by Ziggler, allowing Miz to kick him in the face.

Dolph comes in legally and is immediately sent to the floor by Jericho. Vickie acts as a human shield to block a dive and we take a break. Back with Miz holding Christian in a chinlock. Back up and Christian grabs a sunset flip for two on Miz but the champ kicks Christian in the face for two. Off to Bryan for some NO kicks followed by a Ziggler dropkick for two.

Back to Miz as the heels are working well together. Another boot to the face gets yet another two count on Christian and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz’s running clothesline in the corner eats boots and Christian takes him down with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. Double tags bring in Bryan and Jericho and they run the ropes. Jericho changes directions and hits a springboard dropkick to take out Ziggler.

Lionsault gets two on Bryan and it’s off to Kane. Christian and Miz tumble to the floor, landing on Kane in the process. Jericho puts Bryan in the Liontamer but Jericho has to hit a Codebreaker on Ziggler. The distraction lets Bryan roll him up for the pin at 8:30 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a midcard six man tag. It’s very good to see Smackdown putting on some longer matches since Raw doesn’t seem all that interested in pushing anyone new outside of the same group of people that always dominate the TV time. I’m looking forward to some of these blowoff matches and having three feuds in one match is never a bad thing.

Bryan shouts NO in a fan’s face post match.

Orton says the WWE is his life and being away from Raw and Smackdown was like taking the breath away from him. Del Rio is only the #1 contender because he hasn’t faced Orton. Tonight it’s an RKO for Del Rio.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

Ryback actually gets to cut an inset promo, talking about how he lives by the rule of eat or be eaten and everywhere he looks in the WWE, he sees food. Feed him more. Not bad. Ryback slams him to the mat and rams Mahal’s head into the mat to start. Mahal comes back with the jumping knee to the head but a second one is countered into a spinebuster to put Mahal down. They head outside and Mahal hits Ryback in the head with I think the microphone for the DQ at 1:13.

The Prime Time Players want t-shirts.

Darren Young vs. R-Truth

Truth goes right after Young to start and pounds him into the corner and then against the ropes. AW is at ringside and has the mic again. Truth is sent to the floor and Titus gets in some shots, so here’s Kofi for the save. AW throws his jacket at Kofi’s head so Kofi chases him off. Truth tries to suplex Young back in but Titus trips him up for two. Kofi is back now but gets his head taken off by Titus. The distraction lets Young hit the double knee gutbuster for the pin at 1:55.

Raw ReBound is about Punk’s explanation and the eventual announcement of the triple threat match.

TOUT IT OUT ABOUT PUNK BABY! Oh my goodness these people get on my nerves.

We recap Booker being announced as GM.

Booker is on the phone in the back when Layla comes in. Cody Rhodes comes in to brag about retiring Booker earlier this year. Layla leaves and Booker makes Cody vs. Sin Cara for next week.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio sends him into the corner immediately and works on the arm. Orton comes back with a clothesline and pounds away in the corner. Del Rio goes to the floor but comes back in and rams Orton into the top rope to take over. Out to the floor we go and Del Rio kicks Orton in the chest. Del Rio hooks a chinlock but Orton escapes and hits his circle of stomps. Knee drop misses and Alberto takes over again.

Orton gets sent into the corner and Del Rio kicks him again. I’m not sure if the black trunks are helping Del Rio or not. Orton avoids a charging Alberto, sending Del Rio’s shoulder into the post. That gets two and Orton starts his finishing sequence. The powerslam puts Del Rio down as does the Elevated DDT. Here comes the RKO but Ricardo runs in for the DQ at 6:13.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but thank goodness they didn’t have Orton get a clean pin over the #1 contender here. I don’t think I could take another triple threat at this point. Actually scratch that as it would be better than Sheamus vs. Del Rio again. The match was really short for a Smackdown main event, but then again we had to TOUT stuff earlier so some of the time had to be given away.

Post match Del Rio goes after the arm but Orton blocks the armbreaker and dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Sheamus throws Del Rio in for the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. After last week’s good show, this was a disappointment. The main event didn’t do anything, but that’s partially because it was about advancing a feud that no one wants to see. Booker as GM is a good enough choice as he’s still well known enough to be considered a big deal as a boss. This show was ok overall but as is becoming the norm with Smackdown, if you missed it you never would know the difference.

Results

Sheamus b. Tensai – Brogue Kick

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Gotch Style Neutralizer

Daniel Bryan/The Miz/Dolph Ziggler b. Christian/Kane/Chris Jericho – Rollup to Jericho

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Mahal hit Ryback with the microphone

Darren Young b. R-Truth – Double Knee Gutbuster

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Well it’s certainly a new era in the WWF. For one thing, Shawn is the undisputed biggest star in the company right now. Bret is on hiatus, and a loud mouthed guy from Texas is flipping people off and cursing a lot. It’s like there’s a growing Attitude or something going on. Eh nothing will ever come of that. I remember this show really well but actually have never seen the main event all the way through.

When I was watching the show live I taped it and for some reason never watched the main event. I guess the tape messed up or something like that, but I’ve never seen all of it so this will be virgin territory for me. This is the night of the first Boiler Room Brawl which is by far and away the most famous match on the show. I have fond memories of this show, so let’s see if they’re justified.

Dark Match: Yokozuna vs. Steve Austin

Austin won the KOTR earlier this year and with his post match promo, instantly became one of the hottest things on the planet. Yoko weight 660 here and would be gone pretty soon. It really is sad to see someone that had undeniable talent reduced to this, simply based on the fact that he couldn’t control his weight. This is a very short match, maybe three minutes or so.

Austin tries to knock him down and can’t, Yoko takes over and goes to the corner, and then in one of the most infamous botches ever, the ring ropes break and Austin just pins him. I’ve never heard anyone say that was planned and based off the announcers’ reactions, it wasn’t planned. Yoko was clearly surprised when that happened, so I’d guess that was all unplanned. Like I said, Austin just kind of rolled him up for the pin afterwards.

Rating: C. This is very hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. N/A would probably be a much better grade actually. It’s way too short to tell if it’s good or bad, but it wasn’t terrible and it was on free TV, so how can I complain about bonus not awful wrestling?

We get a very well done intro talking about monsters that wear masks and the heroes that fight them. That’s a really cool idea as both heels wear masks which is a nice connection to make. This was one of the better packages I’ve seen in a long time.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

No real point to this match other than to have a fast opener which there’s nothing wrong with. Apparently both are good with martial arts. I think I missed that memo. Owen has a cast on his hand from an injury that I don’t remember happening. He’s doing the Orton thing as he’s been hurt forever apparently. Cornette isn’t there as he’s with Vader for the main event instead. Savio keeps going for the arm which is very basic yet quite intelligent strategy.

Ross wants to know how Owen passed a pre match physical. Are we supposed to believe that when matches are made on the fly that everyone has pre match physicals? Come on JR give us more credit than that. We go split screen to see Vader warming up for the main event as Vince says that Owen should feel slighted by being ignored by his manager. Why is it that every time someone throws a kick they’re instantly a martial artist?

Anyone else find that to be WAY too broad of a generalization? I certainly do for one. Savio doesn’t seem like much of a martial artist to me and neither does Owen, not in the slightest really. Vince continues to stir the pot saying that Stu isn’t as proud of Owen as of Bret. With talk like that, it’s no wonder he was almost a career heel. Owen has an armbar on Vega for a decent while and he bites Owen to escape. That’s either cool or just freaking stupid and I’m not sure which it is actually.

Clarence Mason, who is the lawyer for Cornette, starts walking towards ringside but no one is sure why. It turns out that he’s more or less staging a coup of Camp Cornette, but that was a bit off in the future. He was worthless to say the least. I’m pleasantly surprised with this match. It’s not mind blowing but it’s certainly not bad at all. I’d even go so far as to say it’s good.

A long match with faster guys is usually an excellent combination. It has one of the critical points that I think makes matches great: I’m not sure who is going to win. That uncertainly factor can work wonders for matches as it gives you a reason to want to see the ending. That’s what makes a match successful or any entertainment for that matter: you want to keep watching it because you’re not sure what’s coming.

They do a belly to back off the top but Savio’s head slams against the cast. Owen plays possum and slams the cast into Vega’s head before putting the Sharpshooter on him. Clarence comes in to celebrate but Owen isn’t sure why he’s there. Not a fan of the ending but this was a good match. On the replay you can see that the referee would have obviously seen the cast shot.

Rating: B+. Like I said I’m not a fan of the ending, but this was a very solid match in my eyes. It was up tempo, there was some storytelling in there, and I wasn’t positive who was going to win. It was a good way to set the tempo for the show and it’s given me high hopes. Based on this match alone, this show is better than last year’s.

Bradshaw comes out and beats up Savio with whom he was feuding with at the tiem in a decent but completely forgotten feud.

Todd goes into the boiler room to talk to Mankind, who says Taker shouldn’t come in here and that he’s ready for battle.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. New Rockers vs. Godwins vs. Bodydonnas

Again I ask, is it really that hard to get the tag titles on the show? New Rockers are Al Snow and Marty Jannetty, but Snow is known as Leif Cassidy at the time. This has elimination rules which automatically makes it better as it more or less gives you three matches for the price of one. Skip has a neck brace for no apparent reason. Dang the copyright for getting rid of Don’t Go Messin With A Country Boy. JR is given the task of explaining the tag title scene this year. Good luck good sir. You’ll be needing it.

Sunny as a cowgirl is incredibly attractive to say the least. Billy shouts about something unintelligible. She should have been one of the biggest names ever. Not just because of her looks either as she just had a great presence about her. You could see she just knew what to do in front of a camera. That’s a talent that no amount of looks can buy you. Yep, the champions are heels here, I guess along with the Bodydonnas and maybe the Rockers.

This is starting off very slow as would be expected until get the comedy idea of having the Guns fight each other. This lasts about 8 seconds as Zip comes in. He gets tripped and pinned very fast as I think Skip’s neck injury was legit. It seemed way too convenient and pointless to have them out there and eliminated so fast, so I’m assuming his neck really was hurt. I think they were faces or at least tweeners actually, which surprises me. Rockers take over on Hank.

This doesn’t last long as Hank realizes he’s fighting the freaking New Rockers and beats them up with relative ease, pinning one of them after the Slop Drop, bringing it down to the Guns vs. the Godwins. Due to the rules being the way they are, any way this ends means the titles can change hands. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s mid 90s WWF stuff so I’m just going to go with it. Billy just will not shut up and I’m sick of it already.

They beat on Henry for a long time until Billy being the brains of the team sets for a corner splash but screams first, leading to him getting caught. This allows for the lukewarm tag that no one could care less about. Apparently Bill Clinton is turning 50 today.

Hillbilly Jim goes after Sunny which allows for the double team to end the match and the Guns keep the titles. Afterwards Sunny talks about how great she is and offers a gift to the arena unveiling a massive poster of herself, which I’m certainly not complaining about.

Rating: B-. Eh, it was a pretty bland four team match but it let the Guns keep the belts with relative ease and it filled in some time on the card. It wasn’t particularly good, but it certainly did the job it was supposed to: title defense that took up some time and made the champions look good. That’s as good as it can get I guess.

British Bulldog vs. Sid

Not entirely sure why they’re fighting but I think Sid is feuding with all of Camp Cornette at this point. No Cornette with him though as Jim is with Vader. Sid says his usual insane stuff that goes nowhere at all. Again, why was he so freaking popular? Vince thinks Psycho Sid is crazy. Nice one there Vinny Mac.

Vince thinks fans are the same all over the world. Does he sleep through the Canadian shows? After Ross says don’t expect a lot of technical stuff from Sid he breaks out a headlock takeover and various suplexes, the last of which is countered into Davey’s suplex. Clarence Mason comes down to be pointless. Yes we have two big power guys here, laying on the mat with headlocks. I give up.

We see Vader warming up in the back with Cornette. They get it right here for the most part though by showing this while Sid is out on the floor rather than in the middle of action. Powerslam to Sid but Cornette comes out to yell at Mason. A second powerslam is blocked into a chokeslam and powerbomb by Sid to end it.

Rating: D. Boring match that did nothing at all but further the horrible Cornette vs. Mason feud for control over his stable. Once Mason took over the stable died completely. This was just a quick match that had nothing at all going for it and no one cared at all, or at least I didn’t.

Quick video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

This is stemming from Goldust hitting on Sable a lot in the past few weeks. At least there’s a reason for them to fight. That’s a nice lesson that the writers today need to learn: it’s very possible to have a decent feud with even the most basic of stories. Running in to beat on someone isn’t really a storyline. That’s the common issue that starts “feuds” anymore and that just doesn’t get it done most of the time. Mero says that he’s going to win.

Goldust has been calling Sable mommy or something like that. That was never really explained which I think is the best move. Vince says that Mero and Sable are special people. I’m guessing it means he slept with Sable. JR hints at something called the Wild Thing. It’ll end the match. Naturally in a Goldust match it starts with random stuff from him that inspired the character that is known as KB. I’ve always found Mero to be overrated but he’s doing pretty well here.

Who would have thought that Goldust would still be active 13 years later? Ahmed Johnson, the IC Champion, is out with an injury and they’re not sure what’s going to be done about the belt. It’s vacated very soon if I remember correctly. Correction it was vacated earlier in the week. Mero would win it in a tournament in about a month or so. Goldust takes over for awhile until Mero is beaten down pretty badly.

Mankind comes out for no apparent reason as he and Goldust were working together for no apparent reason. Mero goes into the corner and comes off with a….well he jumped off and…it was kind of like….well he just jumped backwards and hit Goldust. This was of course very risky since it was from Mero. We’re told that Pillman is interviewing Sid on the Superstar line. Have to love that they’ve gotten over Sid nearly killing him in the War Games match in the early 90s.

The fans and commentators are just bored out of their mind but the classic ten punches in the corner gets them going a bit. Mero finally gets in the air a bit and wakes the people up somewhat. After beating Goldust up, they completely screw this up as Mero debuts the Wild Thing, more commonly known as a Shooting Star Press. Now, Mero just debuted a new big move that was clearly a finisher. So the logical thing would be to have him get the pin with it right?

Apparently not as Marlena is on the ropes for all of 5 seconds, which added to the two count is enough for Goldust to kick out. Yeah, that’s great. Let Goldust just kick out of it. If you’re going to do that, have the two count and THEN Marlena up on the apron so the count stops and Mero goes after her. Just don’t kill the move’s credibility that quickly.

They show the double screen of Mero doing and talk about how great it was. Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the pin. I just don’t get that. What’s the point of debuting a huge move like that and have him lose? Goldust tries to kiss Sable but Mero beats him up pretty well for it.

Rating: C+. This just has me shaking my head. It made the Wild Thing look weak here to have Goldust simply kick out of it, as well as just have Goldust beat him clean maybe 90 seconds after it. The wrestling was fine, but I do not get what the point was of the Wild Thing.

Sunny and Farrooq come out, as Sunny’s stable now consists of two cowboys and a black supremacist/gladiator. Does that sound like the beginning of a bad joke to anyone else? Two cowboys, a gladiator and a gold digging woman? His blue helmet just looks freaking stupid.

He’s out there yelling about not being the IC Champion. To make even more sense, he lost the tournament in the finals to Mero of all people. Simmons desperately needs to get in the Nation of Domination. Sunny says she gets what she wants and she wants the IC Title. Does that mean she’s going to be in the tournament?

We see a recap of Lawler vs. Jake Roberts. Now this was a very interesting and intense albeit short feud. The idea is simple: Roberts is a recovering alcoholic and Lawler is making fun of him for it, even having a big bottle of alcohol in the corner with him for the matches and offering Jake a drink. Lawler, as a heel, has a huge fear of snakes. Some of the this is actually really disturbing as Jake has a bad issue with alcohol, which means I don’t think it should be used as an angle.

Before the match, we’re introduced to the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Oh dear. He comes out to Luger’s music of all things so you know this is going to be bad. He can’t even get the headset on right to do commentary. For a guy like Vince that is obsessed with musclemen, this is just a big orgasm, complete with pyro for Henry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

He’s been on commentary 10 seconds and I’m already annoyed with him. Lawler has a bag of his own but we don’t see what’s inside yet. He’s also rocking a Baltimore Ravens jersey, which is considered cheap heat but to me that’s just pure awesomeness. For an Indians fan like me, this is just fun. Sandy Alomar is there and he says he’s left tickets for the Modells. He brings Jake’s partners, the Jim Beam twins.

He insults Jake’s wife as Henry is cracking up at the jokes, despite being a face. They point out that Henry was injured in the Olympics, as Lawler says that he’s dumb enough to bronze a gold medal. Henry is just awful on commentary. His comebacks are that of a 6th grader. Lawler is just doing one liners here as is his trademark. I never realized how tall Jake is but he’s about 6’5 which is taller than Orton and HHH.

Harvey Whippleman is the referee so Lawler is the most normal person in the ring. Lawler shows what’s in his bag: a massive bottle of alcohol. Henry shows that he’s a long term heel, saying that he’s afraid of snakes. Roberts wraps Revelations, the big yellow snake, around the King. Wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Ross sounds like he’s giving moral support to Henry which is just stupid sounding. After about 7 minutes of stalling, they finally make contact.

However in this case, I’m ok with the stalling as it makes sense here. Vince talks about how Jake is a veteran. I’d think Lawler has more experience actually. Lawler steals a soda from the floor and throws it at Jake. Henry of course is concerned about the fan’s drinking tonight. My goodness he’s terrible at this. Ross suggests that Henry learn the DDT. Yeah that’s a big negative. Lawler hits Roberts in the throat with a bottle to pin him with the tights.

The ironic part of Perfect being on commentary was that he was a huge alcoholic too. After the match, Lawler pours whiskey down Jake’s throat. He gets another bottle to do the same, but Henry, the face, stops him. This got really quite intense, but it was better in ROH when Raven did it to Punk, with Dreamer’s help.

Rating: C-. This was all about the angle and not about the match at all. The match itself would probably be an F, but the angle is very solid. It’s a real life angle that can actually work out. The sad part was how Roberts fell apart with alcohol and drugs in the future as has been well documented.

Backlund is campaigning to be President.

Recap of Taker vs. Mankind. Nothing here that needs explaining.

Boiler Room Brawl: Mankind vs. Undertaker

The way you win here is to come to the ring and claim the urn from Paul Bearer, who will be standing in the ring for the whole match. This is an odd match as Taker comes into the boiler room and immediately stats looking for Mankind. The big problem at first is you can’t see anything. The lighting is terrible and it’s a lot of lurking in the shadows and stuff, which is fine but not for a wrestling match.

Everything is way too dark to really get anything going. The commentators are talking about how Mankind could be anywhere. Now we get to the weird part: as soon as Mankind sneaks up on Taker and beats him up, we lose commentary. It’s not like the audio dies, but they just stop talking. It’s really weird to have a match like this with no audio at all other than the wrestlers themselves and whatever sounds they make while beating on things.

As for the match itself, it’s mainly the two of them hitting each other with random objects, which is fine as it’s just a big brawl in an odd place but the chemistry they have is perfect with each other, making this very fun. We get random things from the announcers, but it’s like a word between all three of them a minute. I’m assuming there’s closed circuit or something in the arena. The video goes out momentarily too but Vince says they’re sorry for it. Ah there it is.

This is mainly just weapons use, which is ok but can only go on for so long. Mankind launches some steam at Taker, which may or may not have been scalding. The crowd pops huge for Taker getting a pipe to the balls for some reason. This is really starting to show how important commentary is to a match as it would help a lot here. Running knee to the area near Taker’s head into a steel door would hurt like heck I think, if nothing else it would hurt Mankind’s knee.

Taker is getting his head handed to him like never before, which seems to happen in every match he competes in against a big time heel. Mankind’s incoherent babbling is a very nice touch. More technical difficulties as I’m pretty sure the fans are watching on closed circuit as they boo the heck out of it. This is the longest its been out for, although we pop in long enough to see Taker being slammed. We’re back now and Mankind has a ladder.

When I say ladder, I mean an old wooden one, not the kind in ladder matches. Here’s where we get the most seen spot of this match, with Taker pulling Mankind off the ladder and him falling onto a bunch of pipes and pieces of metal and wood. Oh, apparently it was a big box. As Taker goes for the door, a thought occurs to me: when Taker was looking around for Mankind just after coming in, why didn’t he just turn around and leave?

The rules just said once they were both in the first to get to the urn in the ring wins, so why not just turn and run? Probably because it wouldn’t be much of a match if that’s what they did I suppose. Big shot with a fire extinguisher which is always cool. They get through the door which is good as this match was in bad need of a change of venue. Mankind does something very smart and barricades the door. That’s actually a brilliant move when you think about it.

The dumb part comes when he stands there to help barricade it. Isn’t the point of blocking the door to be able to run from it? It’s weird seeing wrestlers standing in the hallway as these two fight. Mankind throws hot coffee on Taker, which could be fake I suppose. After about 20 minutes they’re in the arena. The good part is that it doesn’t feel like this has been going that long, which to me says it hasn’t been boring.

Ah good we have TV monitors there to show the people what was going on during the earlier part of the match. That’s nice of them. They fight even more trying to get into the ring. This is a great touch as it’s just more brawling and I like that after this long there’s no real leader. In a sick looking spot, both are on the apron and Taker slings the ropes back and Mankind slams down on the concrete. Taker gets in the ring and takes the knee, but Bearer won’t give him the urn.

Mankind takes him out with the claw as Bearer is laughing. He slaps Taker as JR screams to stop that. Taker crawls to Paul, reaching up for the urn. Bearer slams him in the head with it and hands Mankind the urn for the win. This was huge at the time as Taker had always had Paul Bearer with him. As they leave, Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Well I’m glad he can say his own name. Maybe next he’ll know his phone number.

We get a single gong which I thought was a mistake but the lights go out and druids start singing. They head to the ring I guess to help Taker. What was it like when they got to the arena? I’m trying to imagine them asking where their dressing room is. The druids carry him out in more darkness.

Naturally, he’d be back soon but feuding with Vader over the WWF Title #1 contender spot, eventually taking the belt at Mania. This would in turn lead to what was likely the biggest angle of his career, as in less than a year, Bear would mention the name of the man called Kane.

Rating: A-. This was a very good fight. The angle was huge at the end, but I think the brawling in the boiler room went on a bit too long. Coupling that with the lack of commentary and it’s just below a classic. This at the time was one of the most brutal matches ever, but what they would do in the summer of 98 blew this so far out of the water it’s unreal. Still, this was great.

In Your House promo.

Vader and Cornette, who is still a bigger name than Mark Madden as he’s on Summerslam here cutting a promo just before the main event, say that they’re going to beat up Shawn and take the title.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader had been built up as unstoppable all year and had pinned Shawn the previous month in a 6 man tag. The opening/formula is exactly what you would expect: Shawn starts off hot by throwing all kinds of high risk stuff and punches at Vader and they work for a long while. However, soon Vader takes over after landing a power bomb on the floor. Granted that’s the same move that nearly killed Mick Foley, but we can let that slide I suppose.

Shawn is just getting the tar beaten out of him here so he’s following the Bret Hart formula of start hot, look good getting beaten up, and then make your comeback. Shawn has some mini comebacks and Vader counters with a thumb to the eye. There’s something funny about that to me. Perfect drops the term go home, which means to end the match. That doesn’t happen at the moment of course though as that would just suck for a main event.

Shawn skins the cat which to me is one of the most athletic moves you can do along with the nip up. He gets caught though and Vader just throws him which is a cool looking move. Perfect just hates Shawn to say the least. Shawn keeps trying to come back with punches and clotheslines but they just don’t work. In an odd spot, he slides down to try a sunset flip but Vader puts his foot on Shawn’s chest. Shouldn’t that be a pin since Shawn’s shoulders are down?

He finally takes Vader down with a big clothesline. I think Shawn botches a move as he has Vader down to the elbow but he pulls up and just kind of lands next to Vader on his feet. I think he was trying to make it look like a big stomp but it just missed totally. I wonder why it wasn’t the elbow at that moment. They go to the floor and brawl again, but this time Vader picks up Shawn and drops him over the railing chest/ribs first.

Vader slides into the ring for the count out win. Wait, what the heck? Yes, Vader wins by count out that quick. The female fan at ringside is SCREAMING at Shawn to get up as apparently Becca has made her way to Cleveland. Cornette is ticked off and shouts into the mic that it’s not over yet and demands to keep going. Shawn is called a coward and agrees to keep going of course. Vader beats the heck out of Shawn but a powerbomb is countered by a bunch of punches.

Shawn finally gets the elbow but Cornette throws in the racket. Shawn catches it and beats the tar out of Vader, which is merely Shawn returning the favor for Cornette beating on Shawn earlier in the match. Vader wins by DQ. And so ends Summerslam…again with Shawn leaving to fight another day. Apparently it doesn’t though as Cornette is talking (stop the presses!) again.

Shawn of course accepts one more restart and they’re at it again. Shawn is killing him to start but gets caught. In between the ref goes down and there’s no one to count the pin. Also, Vader gets up from SCM. They set for the Vader Bomb but Shawn moves as the big man goes for the moonsault. He hits a moonsault from the top of his own onto Vader to get the pin. Perfect is ticked off and leaves the announce booth. He comes back all of three seconds later. Shawn poses us out to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was another very good match, but the triple ending just kind of left me scratching my head. It would have been fine had they just done a standard match by giving Vader a ton of time to beat on Shawn, ending with the moonsault to win in. Either way, this was a fine version of David vs. Goliath with Shawn looking like the giant killer at the end of it all to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: A. This show rocked. It was the polar opposite of that excuse for a show we had last year. Every match is at least good with some solid angles, brutal matches and good technical stuff. I really liked what I saw here tonight and yes, this certainly lvies up to the hype. It’s certainly in the running for best Summerslam to date and perhaps best ever, but at the moment I’ll have to go with 92 just ahead of it. Still, excellent show and a big recommendation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Brock Lesnar is back in WWE. Really you didn’t know that already? I would say that that line was a joke, but honestly I’m not sure if it would click or not. Lesnar’s return has been questionable to say the least with a lot of holes all throughout it. Today I’m going to take a look at Lesnar’s return and talk about what I would have done differently, what they’ve done right and wrong, and whatever else comes to my mind. Let’s get to it.

So back on April 2^nd as the Kentucky Wildcats were winning the national championship, John Cena was in the ring and the fans were chanting that they wanted Lesnar. Brock walked out and beat Cena down, returning for the company for the first time in eight years. It was announced that Lesnar had a limited amount of dates to work so he wouldn’t be there every week. Fine. So a week or so later there was a pull apart brawl with Cena being busted open from a punch by Lesnar. Cena was fired up and a match was announced. That got us to Extreme Rules. What happened there? Here’s the rating for the match:

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

In short, the match was a complete success. I’ll get to the criticisms of it later and explain why most of them are stupid. The following night on Raw, HHH showed up on Raw to face Lesnar. Lesnar had been having on air contract disputes with HHH and now we were getting the resolution. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and left the building. A few weeks later, Paul Heyman came out and said Lesnar had quit the company. A week later, a lawsuit was announced. Then at No Way Out, HHH challenged Lesnar to a match at Summerslam. It wasn’t until the 1000th episode of Raw when Lesnar came out and accepted the challenge. This would be roughly three months since the last time Lesnar had appeared on Raw. That brings us to now, with the match official for Summerslam.

Brock Lesnar returned to the WWE four months ago today and approximately three months of that has been wasted. I LOVED the portion of his time spent with Cena. The company did a masterful job of building up the idea of these two forces colliding and showing how much trouble John Cena could have been in. Now let’s take a look at the payoff to that build up.

It was in Chicago at Extreme Rules and Cena got ROCKED very fast. Lesnar ran him over and didn’t stop beating on him for almost fifteen minutes. The match was almost stopped but Cena hung in there, eventually making Lesnar miss a flying knee, hitting Brock in the head with a chain and hitting an Attitude Adjustment onto the steps for the pin. We’ll ignore the post match stuff about Cena saying he was taking a vacation because it really meant nothing overall.

The match was a huge success, drawing more buys than most Extreme Rules PPVs usually get. The criticism seems to be that Cena won. Why? Why is that such a big deal? Cena was DESTROYED for the majority of the fight then caught Lesnar in a miracle, hit a big move and won. This for some reason was determined to be the worst possible idea. Clearly these people are right because you can NEVER come back from a loss in wrestling right?

By comparison, let’s take a look at what happened in Lesnar’s UFC debut. He faced Frank Mir, a former world heavyweight champion with a career record of 10-3 coming in. Mir never lost the world title either, as he had to forfeit it due to injury after holding it over a year. This man had success in the sport of mixed martial arts and in the UFC in particular. Know what happened in their fight, which was Lesnar’s second professional fight ever? Lesnar ran Frank Mir over. He took Mir down almost immediately and pounded on him, only being taken off of him due to an illegal strike. Lesnar then took Mir down again but made a mistake and got caught in a submission after 90 seconds.

Now, since there’s no logic in having Lesnar lose in his first match back to Cena and since losses matter much more in MMA than they do in pro wrestling, it’s clear that Lesnar’s career in MMA was completely over and no one would ever want to pay to see him again right? If you can’t sense the sarcasm in my voice, I’ll spell it out for you: OF COURSE THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. Lesnar came back, beat up a guy named Heath Herring and then faced arguably the best fighter of all time for the World Heavyweight Championship. Brock dominated champion Randy Couture and won the title, which he held for nearly two years, all the while becoming one of the biggest draws in MMA history and destroying Mir in a rematch.

So now that the idiocy of saying that Cena beating Lesnar was a bad idea, let’s get to something that is a pretty bad idea: the feud with HHH. What’s the biggest problem with this you ask? My guess is that it’s a feud with HHH. Why is HHH of all people getting this feud? He wrestles 3-4 times a year, it’s pretty clear that Lesnar is gone after Mania, and we’ve spent three months of that time on HHH. HHH is barely a wrestler anymore so why does he need to feud with Brock?

In short, he doesn’t. There are probably half a dozen guys you could put out there against Brock to give a rub to/that would you get a better feud out of. It could be Brock vs. Punk, Sheamus, Cena again, Orton, Undertaker, Rock and probably more than I’m overlooking. Think about it like this: Lesnar was put with Cena because Cena needed a challenge (there’s another article on the concept that Cena had reached a level in WWE that they had to bring in The Rock and the former UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World to give him a real challenge. We’ll get to that someday). Lesnar is put with HHH because…….somebody help me out here.

It makes no sense. I don’t know what Lesnar is going to do at Summerslam but if there’s any logic in the world, the answer is WIN. Now let’s say that’s the case. The interesting question is where do we go from there? Here’s what I would do: first off you need to figure out the end goal of all of this, and by that I mean the Wrestlemania match. It’s pretty clear that Undertaker, Lesnar, Rock and Cena are going to be involved with each other at Mania in some two combinations. Any one of these is perfectly acceptable but you have different paths to get there.

To begin with, we’ll go with the least likely: Lesnar vs. Rock. There’s a backstory here of Summerslam 2002, but I can’t imagine Cena vs. Undertaker, the biggest super match WWE has left, is happening anywhere other than Wrestlemanie 30. It’s possible, but I’d be very surprised if it happened. The way to do this is have Rock win the title at the Rumble and then have Brock win the Rumble or the Chamber later in the night, but I can’t see that happening. It’s possible, but I don’t think it’s happening.

The most likely and the result I think will happen, is Brock vs. Taker. This has an interesting story to it as they could go more than one way. The less likely way is to point out that Taker has never beaten Brock, but that would mean talking about Biker Taker time which is rarely mentioned. The more likely choice is to have Brock challenging the Streak with the machine facing the MMA Cowboy of Death. That could be an excellent match with Taker always getting fired up to show off his MMA skills.

This brings us to the interesting story. It’s not going to be able to work due to the issue of Cena needing to be on PPV every month, but it gives me a chance to play fantasy booker which isn’t something I can do often. The way I would have played it (and this could still be done) is to have Lesnar injure Cena, maybe breaking his arm or a limb or something like that. Then you have Lesnar go on a path of rage and run over everyone on the roster, eventually facing Punk for the title, perhaps at the Rumble (this would be assuming Rock either doesn’t win the title at the Rumble or doesn’t get the Rumble shot). Lesnar leaves Punk a bloody mess and takes the title.

On Raw, Lesnar comes out and says he has no competition left and that he’s taking the title back to Minnesota with him and only defending it when he has to. As he’s about to leave, Cena comes to the stage and points at Lesnar, setting up Wrestlemania with Cena challenging for the title and Lesnar wanting to get his hands on Cena because he’s the one that got away. That sets up Cena vs. Lesnar II at Mania and Rock vs. Taker at Mania. Think that would draw pretty well? Another possible option, and a decent one, is to have Lesnar actually take the belt hostage and only defend it when he had to. But that couldn’t work because then you would only have the World Heavyweight Championship to main event a show and that could NEVER happen could it?

Either way, I can’t believe Lesnar isn’t victim #21 of the Streak. So now that we have the end game of it, we need something else to fill in the gap between Summerslam and Wrestlemania. This is where things are a bit less complicated. There are a ton of people that you could throw out there against him: Sheamus, Punk, or the guy I would throw out there: Orton. He’s still popular, a loss isn’t going to hurt him, and a win over him means something. There aren’t many wrong answers here, but I’d go with Orton on this one.

So anyway, overall Lesnar’s 2012 run hasn’t been a disaster, but as I look at the HHH vs. Lesnar build, the big question continues to be why HHH? He’s one of the last people I’d pick and while the match will likely be good, it really doesn’t need to happen.

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re in the In Your House era now and if you’ve read my reviews of the earlier ones, you know what my thoughts are on the booking that was going on in this era. If you haven’t, go read them now you lazy morons. Stupid people trying to just read what comes later and avoid all of the intellectual labor. Anyway, we’re in 1995 and the business is at a seemingly dead end.

No one really knows where to go right now and it would take Hogan’s shocking turn in about 11 months to change everything. Hall and Nash are clearly almost on their way out at this point, which is interesting as they’re both in the singles title matches tonight. Now if you want proof that the business has no idea where to go, think about it. We’re at the point now where your big matches are a rematch of what was a big deal….a year and a half ago, and Diesel vs. Mabel.

Yes, that’s your main event: Diesel vs. Mabel. Bret Hart is fighting an evil dentist, and Barry Horowitz has a match on a pay per view. Think about that for a few minutes while we dig into what is considered one of the worst PPVs ever, Summerslam 1995. Side note: Nitro debuted 8 days after this.

Standard intro talking about the two big matches. Oh and Shawn is a face now. In the back we have Dean Douglas who is critiquing the matches tonight. For those of you that don’t know, Douglas was Matt Striker done properly.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Apparently Kid is from Minnesota, Minneapolis which is a place that’s known for it’s cheap heat. Yeah that joke makes no sense to me either so just go with it. Kid more or less botches jumping into the ring so he must have gotten genuine Columbian cocaine today. Hakushi lost a match to Barry Horowitz earlier in the day so take that for what it’s worth. This is actually a pretty good match so far with some very nice back and forth stuff going on.

Waltman really isn’t that bad against other cruiserweights. The heel is completely dominating as we have a lot of smarks in the crowd who are cheering him. He’d turn face soon enough so that’s all well and good. Lawler insults the Kid and the Pittsburgh fans, which isn’t really that hard to do. He sends Kid to the floor with a SWEET looking back kick. Kid makes his comeback which is actually pretty good. It’s a lot of interesting looking high flying stuff that works really well for someone of his size etc.

Eventually he goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught in a suplex/powerbomb kind of move for the pin. I really like that ending as it made sense to have Kid keep going for bigger and bigger moves before finally getting caught. That’s a nice little touch to end on.

Rating: B. This was a very solid opener I thought. It was fast paced and exciting as both guys were jumping all over the place and it just flowed really well. The fans were into it which isn’t saying much as this is a very hot crowd to say the least. Good choice for an opener.

In the back, Mabel says that he won’t tell Doc what his surprise is for later.

HHH vs. Bob Holly

Holly is still the racecar guy here while it’s still very early in HHH’s WWF career. He’s been here about 4 months at this time so this is easily his biggest match to date against his toughest opponent. Lawler says that HHH is the kind of guy that eats Kentucky Fried Quail. Is that an insult or a compliment? Anyway, there’s a natural heel thing about HHH that works so well with this blueblood character.

Just about everyone that he would face would have a culture clash with him because who doesn’t hate some rich guy that thinks he’s better than you? BREAKING NEWS! The British Bulldog is here! This is apparently shocking and terrible as he turned heel last week, attacking Diesel. How can something like this happen? A WWF wrestler that’s a pretty big star coming to a WWF event? Yes folks, anything can happen in the WWF, even a guy coming to work.

We of course go split screen to show Smith walking. Oh my goodness, get these people an Emmy dang it! Even being the rich guy vs. the redneck, this is a very boring match. There’s no drama to it at all as Holly just isn’t that good and HHH doesn’t know how good he is yet. Imagine telling Vince back then that HHH would not only be a ten time world champion but also his son in law and the heir to the throne. After about 8 minutes of pure boredom, HHH wins with a not yet perfected pedigree.

Rating: D+. This is just flat out boring. No one wanted to see it and it’s more or less a glorified squash match. Where’s the fun in that? In my eyes, there’s very little indeed. Seriously, why was this on Summerslam again? Did they not have anything better that they could have put on here? They spent half the time talking about Smith so even the announcers didn’t care.

We see a video talking about the WWF vs. Pittsburgh firefighters in a tug of war for some charity thing. Bam Bam, Mabel, Henry Godwin and Savio? Something just doesn’t fit in there. It’s for charity so I can’t make any jokes about it really.

Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers

Blu Brothers were later known as DOA, Creative Control, Harris Brothers and I think the Bruise Brothers. They’re twins so this works really well s it’s easy to get heel heat by just switching. The Cowboys are just flat out boring. They’re ok in the ring but DANG they’re bland.

This is pretty much a tag version of the previous match as no one is interested and it feels like a weak house show match. It’s about 5 minutes long and is just a heel domination leading to the hot tag and the faces hitting the Sidewinder to end it. That’s all there is to it and no one could care less at all.

Rating: D. This was even worse than HHH’s match as it just doesn’t fit on Summerslam at all. It’s a bland match that feels like it belongs at a house show on its best day. Why would someone want to pay for something like this?

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

This is actually kind of a cool story. Horowitz for those of you that don’t know is one of the biggest jobbers of all time, ranking up there with the Brooklyn Brawler. He hadn’t won a match in years yet somehow kept a job. Anyway, one night he pinned Skip when he wasn’t paying attention. A week later he somehow gets credit for another win after going to a time limit draw. For some reason, that warrants a match here at Summerslam.

Can someone explain to me why this is happening and not maybe a tag title match? It’s the second biggest show of the year, Raw has long since been established as the A show, and In Your House has debuted. Do we really need to give these guys, a relative newcomer and a jobber time on Summerslam, but not the world tag team titles? Sunny is Skip’s manager and I’m convinced she’s an alien. No human could be that hot.

Anyway, they start hot as Barry is wearing suspenders to go with his tights. They’re gone in about 8 seconds so what was the point of them? This is actually a pretty good match with some nice technical stuff. Sunny is sent to the back, causing 75% of male viewers to change the channel. For some reason she doesn’t leave which is a good thing. Candido is impressing me actually. His offense is very crisp and sharp with no botches or anything like that.

He passed away at only 33 and he was already an established veteran so he would certainly still be active today. Skip hits his diving headbutt finisher but pulls him up at the last second which even Lawler says is a bad idea. As he’s doing this, for no apparent reason, Hakushi comes out and distracts Skip. This allows Horowitz to roll him up for the small package while Skip’s hand is very close to Barry’s package.

Rating: B. This was a very good match. The story was fine and the in ring work was very good. There’s no noticeable botches or anything like that and you get an excellent feel good moment. However, I have to ask again: is this more important than a tag title match? Even a squash tag match would be fine, but there’s no need to have these two get 10 minutes plus at Summerslam.

Dean Douglas says that Horowitz didn’t deserve to win.

Todd says that Barry should have won and shows a short clip from the ladder match. Shawn comes in and says he’ll win no matter what.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Now THIS is one of the weirdest characters of all time. Weighing in at 230 pounds, Faye was just an ugly fat woman that Harvey Whippleman was in love with. She wore a skirt that showed her underwear and was fat. That’s about it. What was the point or thought behind this character? We’ve been trying to figure that out ever sense. Her song was called Sweet Loving Arms if that tells you anything. They did everything they could to make Blayze a big deal and it just never worked once.

This is a pretty short match which is likely good. Blayze of course knows some martial arts because every diva is skilled with them right? How many women use a kick as a major point of their offense?

Anyway, Alundra (how odd of a name is that anyway?) hits a bunch of kicks and big moves but she can’t beat the big fat chick, leading to the worst sitout powerbomb of all time and as the champion gets her shoulder up at 2, the three comes down and we have a new champion. She and Harvey celebrate in the aisle after the match.

Rating: D+. Oy vey this was bad. Neither was incredibly skilled in this match, which wasn’t fair as both could actually wrestle pretty well. Faye was a comedy character and Blayze would get the belt back in about two months or so. This was a waste of time though and wasn’t entertaining at all.

Recap of Taker vs. Kama, which was a pretty bad feud. Kama, aka the Godfather, stole his urn at Mania and made it into a necklace. He then beat up the creatures of the night, causing this to become a casket match. They did this at an In Your House show as a dark match which wasn’t that good. This has more time and is on a bigger stage, so maybe this is better.

Paul Bearer and Taker say Kama is in trouble.

Casket Match: Kama vs. Undertaker

Kama still works for DiBiase at this point. Hmm Taker in a violent gimmick match in Pittsburgh. Same thing happened later on in the Mankind Cell match. Kama of course isn’t afraid, as no heel has been in forever. Well at least in the beginning this is far better. What this should be is more or less Kozlov vs. Taker, and that’s what we’re getting. Kama is hammering him with big power strikes and Taker is absorbing them.

Kama is showing fear of the coffin so we’re getting inside his head too. This is light years ahead of what we had last month at In Your House. Taker goes to the floor and DiBiase kicks at him, leading to Bearer taking his jacket off to fight Ted. That is something I’d pay to see. Ted having been retired for awhile and likely out of shape vs. Paul Bearer. Oh my goodness that would be funny.

Kama suplexes him onto the closed casket. I can’t imagine a back injury in a casket match with Taker can you? The Rest In Peace chant really is awesome here. This is kind of standard Taker stuff, which means that it’s going just fine. Taker gets beaten down, then makes his comeback.

They both go inside the big wooden box at the same time and Kama crawls out, giving us the dragging him under visual that Shawn made famous at the 98 Rumble. Eventually it’s tombstone and the dark box for Kama to give Taker the win.

Rating: B-. I was liking this. Kama is the perfect kind of heel to feed to Taker. He’s big and strong with good fighting skills, which makes it easy for Taker to fight him off and look good doing it. This was a long feud for Taker but no one really put much thought into it. All it really was supposed to do was keep him busy until he could move onto something big, which he did as he started feuding with Mable for a few months before moving on to Diesel soon after that.

We hit the recap button on Bret vs. Isaac Yankem, who is just an agent of Lawler to try to fight Bret. Some of the lines by Todd here are great. “Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him.” “He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist.”

“Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.” You know, for all that Bret and Kane have done for the WWF, this might be their best stuff. Think about it: Kane is a crazed dentist which sounds like a bad horror movie. Wow, See No Evil 2 here we come! Anyway, Bret is the guy that has to fight a crazed dentist. How over the top can you get?

Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem

Isaac is from Decatur, Illinois. That just sounds funny to me for some reason. Hart says he’s tired of Lawler, and asks if a chiropractor is next. That made me laugh. No awesome leather jacket for Hart which sucks. This is another good matchup for Hart as he’s against a big guy that he can take down after getting beaten up. That’s a nice thing to get going which always works well. Taker is apparently on the Superstar line. That’s just a funny thing to imagine.

Crowd is WAY into Bret here. This is a pretty good back and forth match for the early part as they hammer on each other with Bret slowly breaking Isaac down but Kane hitting a power move to stop Bret dead in his tracks. Eventually the big guy takes over and works Bret into the ground pretty well. Bret has a sweet counter for this neck pull move that’s hard to describe. Basically Bret back flips out of it. It’s really cool looking.

The referee grabs Isaac by the hair and pulls him away which is just not smart. It makes the wrestler look bad because a referee is manhandling them and it’s just not professional. You can hear that Vince is seriously ticked off over it. Yep he’s fired. Anyway, this is mainly over the kiss my foot match that Lawler and Hart had where Lawler had to kiss not only Bret’s foot but his own.

He says it was like kissing a hog with halitosis, which is horrible. Also, Lawler sells sea shells by the seashore for six cents on Saturdays. They’re on the floor for awhile which is just more time for Hart to get beaten up as Isaac looks good. Kane even does a very short walk of the top rope to land a leg drop to the back of Bret’s head as he was hanging over the top rope.

Dang why hasn’t he done that since? Wow has Kane really been in the WWF nearly 15 years? That’s almost hard to believe if you think about it. Finally Hart has had ENOUGH and throws a suicide dive and beats the heck out of Isaac. Sharpshooter leads to Lawler helping Isaac get out which he more or less had to do. He’s now a manager instead of a commentator so Vince is on his own.

Oh this isn’t going to go well. Brea beats on him for a bit, drawing a mad pop from the crowd, but allowing Kane to hit a double axe from the top to save the King. Lawler eventually grabs Bret’s foot and tries to pull him out as Isaac helps him. This causes the referee to FINALLY DQ them after counting to six. They hang Bret between the top and middle ropes and pull on him which has to hurt badly.

Instead of just going in reverse of what got Bret in that position, the suits that run down decide to shove Bret’s head through the ropes, hurting him even worse. Did they not pay attention to Foley losing an ear in a similar thing? Oh he’s fine though. Being this close to Canada gives Bret his super human powers. It’s kind of like the sun with Superman, but Bret could take him in Canada.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good, but it was in essence a handicap match. While that’s all well and good, this should have been Bret vs. Lawler for one big and final blowoff match, maybe in a cage. Yeah I think that would have worked just fine. Kane was a good enough choice, but the focus was more on Lawler, which hurt things a bit. Either way, the stuff in the ring was very good and this was a solid 15 or so minute match.

IC Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

No transition here or anything at all other than the Razor promo. It’s the rematch of the ladder match. It doesn’t need much of an explanation so there we go. Shawn climbs the ladder in the aisle to stare down Razor which is a semi-famous image, or at least it was back then. Vince telling someone to get down is just wrong on so many levels.

They raise up the belt which is something you don’t often see. Doc Hendrix jumps in on commentary. Vince says that you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack to reach the belt. Or you could just get a ladder but who am I to argue. Doc offers up a surprising stat: only once in Summerslam history up to that point, in 1993, did the IC Title not change hands. Hey he’s good for something.

Shawn says lift it up and there’s the bell. They slug it out to start and both guys escape finishers. Shawn is knocked to the floor and then stops Razor from getting the ladder. Why? Shawn has to bring it back also doesn’t he? Razor blocks Shawn’s suplex and suplexes him to the floor. I love that move. Not sure why but I always have. Either that or it just sounds good and I’m trying to fill in space.

Both finishers miss again and we get a double clothesline to give them a breather. Razor gets to the ladder which is enough for Vince to say he’ll win. Sid, the guy that gets the winner, is watching in the back. Shawn gets the ladder and control but it’s not like the match is ending anytime soon so the drama isn’t there at all. Why must we always see Shawn’s back?

Down goes the ladder and Shawn and he might have hurt his knee. Oh that’s funny. Shawn’s knee never gets hurt. The fans aren’t sure if they like what Razor is doing here or not. Shawn is more or less dead and falls as Razor tries to send him into the ladder. This is a much more psychological based match than before but they have some experience this time so that might have something to do with it.

Razor has been dominating for a good while here. No attempt at going for the belt yet though which doesn’t really surprise me. Lots of leg work which is logical. Shawn manages to send Razor to the floor but another knee shot takes away any kind of advantage Shawn may have gotten. Razor is wrestling heel here and it’s working pretty well. Granted that’s his natural style so it’s easy for him.

He goes up but Shawn literally makes a diving save to send him down. Doc declares this the greatest match he’s ever seen. It’s good but seriously, the best you’ve ever seen? That might be a stretch dude. Then again given how many drugs he probably did this might be the only match he can remember seeing. Shawn suplexes Razor off the ladder and everyone is down.

Razor eats ladder in the corner and Shawn takes over. Shawn goes up and hits a moonsault press. It kind of misses but it was close enough to still look ok. A splash from the top of the ladder misses and everyone is down. They slug it out on dop of the ladder and a headbutt from Razor sends both guys flying down. Doc says Ted and Sid have to be dancing in the streets. Or they could be watching in the bac on a monitor but same thing I guess.

Shawn charges with the ladder but goes through the ropes to the floor. Razor is like screw this and gets a second ladder. He finally gets the Edge off the ladder and both guys are down again. If there’s one criticism here it’s that they’re staying down for too many long stretches of time. Granted I can totally understand them needing a break.

Vince wants to know which one is the legal ladder. Is there a ladder checking team that I’m not aware of? Both guys climb up a ladder at the same time and Shawn gets more or less Sweet Chin Music to knock Razor off. And then like an IDIOT he jumps at the belt and misses completely, crashing down onto the mat. Shawn sends him to the floor and climbs again, getting his hands on the belt but just not grabbing it. He goes up again and gets it so I’d think the second one was just a slip or something.

Rating: B+. While not as good as their initial match, this is indeed an excellent one. The problem here is simple: how do you follow the greatest gimmick match of all time to that point, especially with the same two guys in it? Every spot you can look at and say it was better the first time or that wasn’t as good as the one you did last year.

That’s the issue they’re facing here, so while this is good, by comparison it just isn’t as solid of a match, which can mainly be attributed to the expectations they had coming into this match I think.

In the back Dean Douglas has a few choice words to say about the “Bad Guy”. This leads to Ramon coming in and beating him up, kickstarting their feud which would actually be Ramon’s last in the company before heading to WCW.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Mabel

Please help me get through this. Mabel won the KOTR because Vince got really high one night and decided he wanted to see how well he could screw up Summerslam, so he gives us this. Let’s see, how many other options were there that are better than this? Maybe every single person on the roster? Are you telling me you couldn’t have thrown someone like Owen Hart maybe in there? He would have at least given a decent match.

The problem here is simple: Mabel is too fat for Diesel to muscle around like he’s always done, and it’s going to throw Diesel off his game. Therefore, you have a champion off his game and a big man that can’t do jack. Does this sound like a good equation to anyone at all? Mabel comes to the ring as KOTR with Sir Mo. Oh yes I can see the greatness so clearly here. Vince talks about how Bulldog and Luger are here.

Ooh, why did we not have either of those as a good main event? Oh I remember. We had to use that at In Your House instead of here where it would actually matter. Luger of course would be back in WCW 8 freaking days later after infamously having been in WWF one night and debuting for WCW the next night on the debut episode of Nitro, which when you think about it is absolutely brilliant and an amazing move.

Mabel looks like an idiot with that crown. In case you can’t tell, I hate this stupid match. We keep hearing about the royal plan. Oh yes, Mabel is clearly an evil genius. Give me a break Vince. Mabel starts on offense and Diesel gets beaten up. Soon thereafter we switch that up and put Mabel on offense as I have my family hide all sharp or blunt objects to keep me from hurting myself.

Shockingly enough, Diesel can’t do much other than punch and clothesline him, mainly because it’s the only offense he can use without getting a hernia. Oh yeah, Mabel is wearing his shiny purple and gold ensemble here. Mable eventually gets back in control and as I was waiting on, he sits on Diesel. He puts his hands on Nash’s face but doesn’t pull back, yet somehow it’s called a chinlock.

This goes on for EIGHTY FOUR SECONDS. Yes, I get that Mable needs a rest in there as after 5 minutes someone of his gravitational pull would get tired. HOWEVER, a minute and a half is WAY too much to have a fat guy sitting on his opponent. That’s all he’s doing: high impact sitting. Moe comes in of course and gets beaten up. Apparently this is the great and mighty royal plan: get your manager/tag partner/fellow homeless guy to beat on Diesel.

Oh my lord my feeble brain can’t comprehend such intricate and complex thoughts! Luger runs in for the save as I think the referee has sought out psychiatric help after having to stand out there and put up with this nonsense for ten minutes. Oh wait here’s part 2 of the plan: a leg drop on the floor! Actually it’s more of a seated senton with Diesel in the near area. Luger beats up Moe, proving that he’s indeed smarter than a 5th grader.

The referee returns from rehab long enough to count a two on Diesel. Mabel jumps off the second rope in his attempt to change the rotation of the Earth but misses a splash. This combined with what’s called a clothesline from the second rope but is more Diesel jumping on Mable lead to the slowest count of all time and a succ…..a succ… I’m sorry but there was nothing successful about this match at all. Diesel keeps the belt let’s go with that. He poses with the belt to close us out.

Rating: F+. Do I really need to explain this one any further? I hate this match and I hate Nelson Frazier, who is easily one of the worst “wrestlers” of all time in my eyes.

Overall Rating: F. This was a hard one for me, but overall the good moments of this show just can’t get out from underneath the epicness of the nonsense on the card. Hakushi/Kid and Horowitz/Skip are actually quite good matches. I was impressed with them. However, there is no way you can justify having those two plus HHH and the Guns’ squashes all be on this show.

You have a 9 match card and I could see at the very most, four belonging on a major show: the opener because you simply need a hot opener to set the stage which that one certainly meets the requirements for, the Hart/Isaac match, Taker and Kama, and the ladder match. Of the two in the middle, they could have easily been altered to put Hart and Lawler together. The second and third matches are just wastes of time, plain and simple.

The HHH match I can kind of see the point in as it gives an up and coming star a PPV match to get himself over. I can almost come to validate that one, but not by much. The Guns’ match however has no business on a PPV, none. The next match was one of the best in ring matches of the night, but I ask again: WHY IS BARRY HOROWITZ WRESTLING AT SUMMERSLAM???

Women’s match was bad but since it’s a title match it can be justified I suppose, and then the main event I’ve already vented on. I’m sorry, but an opener, a ladder match that’s an inferior version of a match from a year and a half ago and two above average midcard matches simply are not enough to sell a PPV for me.

This show is just a flat out failure. It has its moments and would have been passable as a much lower level show, but this is unacceptable as the second biggest show of the year, which is saying how bad WWF was at this time when you had this and Mania 11, perhaps the worst of all time, as your big shows. This was horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 2, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Another trip to Orlando tonight as we’re approaching Hardcore Justice in a week and a half. Tonight we have a big tag match as well as Storm vs. Angle in a BFG Series match. We’re sure to have more from Aces and 8’s as Brooke Hogan is going to say something about her dad, which I’m sure will be riveting. Let’s get to it.

Zema Ion/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/Kenny King

This is a big brawl that was going on when the show started. Roode and Aries were fighting at the top of the stage before coming to the ring to join the other guys. Aries hits a huge dive onto Roode on the floor to take over. There’s the bell and we’re officially going. A double airplane spin puts Ion down and King hits a springboard legdrop for two. King sends Ion into the corner and fires off shoulders to the ribs. Off to Aries for a slingshot corkscrew dive for two. Back to King who gets hit in the back by Roode.

King is sent to the floor and Ion hits a big flip dive to finally give his team the advantage. Roode comes in legally and goes after the leg and ankle of King which was injured somewhere in the match. A knee drop gets two for Roode and it’s back to the X Champion. We take a break and come back with Roode sending King off the topr rope and to the floor with a crash.

King is still in trouble, this time in the corner as Roode stomps away some more. Back to Ion who works on the arm a bit, only to walk into a high cradle suplex to put him down. Aries gets the tag but Roode stepped in for a distraction. Roode, being the heel that he is, comes in without a tag for more stomping. Bobby doesn’t stay in long though as it’s back to Ion again. King punches them both down and everything breaks down. Aries hits a missile dropkick to send Roode to the floor followed by the suicide dive. King hits the reverse F5 on Ion for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B-. Good fast paced opener here and a good way to get the crowd’s attention to open things up. It’s always cool to see them mix up the played out formula for a change and having King out there isn’t bad either. Ion still does nothing for me and I’m hoping he doesn’t keep the belt until Sorensen is back.

We get the traditional recap from last week.

Sting says he wants to hear it straight from Storm’s mouth.

Here’s Sting who wants Storm out here to say he’s not involved with Aces and 8’s. Cue the Cowboy who wants an explanation. Sting shows him a clip of last week where Aces and 8’s came out but didn’t touch Storm. Storm says he has nothing to do with it and didn’t need them to help him beat Angle a few weeks ago.

Cue Angle who says he’s seen Storm all over the place but he doesn’t get Storm’s motivation. He talks about Aces and 8’s beating up everyone other than Storm. Why would eight grown men run away from one guy? Angle wants Storm to come to his match later, and Sting says he’ll be there for it too because he hopes Aces and 8’s show up. Angle says he’ll make Storm tap out.

AJ Styles was in Australia this week.

We recap the Clair story which has gone on forever it seems.

Daniels and Kaz make fun of AJ while holding their drinks. They’re going to throw Clair a baby shower.

There are going to be three hardcore four ways at Hardcore Justice in the BFG Series, all of which for 20 points:

Daniels vs. Angle vs. Styles vs. Joe in a ladder match

Anderson vs. RVD vs. Dinero vs. Magnus in a last man standing match

Hardy vs. Story vs. Ray vs. Robbie E in a tables match

BFG Leaderboard:

Samoa Joe 47

James Storm 45

Kurt Angle 41

Mr. Anderson 40

Jeff Hardy 28

Rob Van Dam 28

Christopher Daniels 26

Magnus 21

AJ Styles 16

Bully Ray 14

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. Robbie E

Ray says he doesn’t trust Storm before the match. Big Rob hits Ray with the list before we get going. Robbie pounds Ray down but some big chops set up a quick Bubba Cutter and we’re done at 90 seconds.

Earl Hebner gives Madison Rayne gifts. She says she cares about him when Gail Kim comes up to complain. Earl leaves and Madison says he’ll call the match right down the middle tonight.

Tara vs. Mickie James vs. Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner get Tessmacher at some point in the future. Tessmacher is on commentary here. Tara immediately tries a Tarantula on Gail but gets backdropped to the floor. Mickie is knocked to the floor and it’s heel vs. heel for a bit. Tara comes back in to prevent that from happening, only to get caught in a bad knee to the face from Madison. A neckbreaker puts Tara down and they take turns pounding away. Mickie pulls Gail to the floor but gets sent into the steps for her troubles. The spinning side slam gets two on Madison as Gail breaks it up. Madison chokes Tara and Gail sends Mickie to the floor.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and Mickie is back. Tara heads outside and it’s Mickie vs. Rayne at the moment. Madison is taken down by a neckbreaker but Gail makes the save. Everything breaks down if that’s possible in a fourway. Tara takes over and loads up a moonsault, only to get crotched by Madison. Mickie pulls Madison off the top but Rayne kicks Mickie in the head. Gail superplexes Tara down and everyone is down.

Gail covers Tara but Earl is with Madison. Tessmacher says a superplex like that can only happen with the Knockouts. Bob Orton might want to have a word with you about that. Mickie sends Gail to the floor and fires off clotheslines on Rayne. A flapjack takes Madison down again but Gail sneaks in and sends her to the floor. Widow’s Peak takes Gail down but Madison goes after Tara. Tara rolls her up and gets the pin at 7:30, but, say it with me, Earl gives the win to Madison despite Tara’s shoulder being nowhere near the mat.

Rating: D+. How many times can we have a fourway Knockouts match for the #1 contenders spot? Seriously, I can’t remember how many of these we’ve had recently. The match was just ok and the ending was about as obvious as you could have asked one to be. Madison will likely get the title and few people will care, which is a shame as Tessmacher is a pretty interesting champion.

Roode says Storm is behind it. Aries says he might as well be at ringside too since Roode will be.

Sting is talking to Brooke who says she doesn’t like seeing her dad in pain. She doesn’t know why Aces and 8’s are picking on them. That came off as a really stupid line to me. A messenger comes in with a package for Brooke which has playing cards on it. She bails and Sting is annoyed.

ODB and Eric have a “comedy” segment about how they haven’t defended the titles in months. Apparently it’s not good that Eric is a man. He has a fishing show debuting on Sunday and he thinks that if the belts are always apart, they can’t be stripped of them. Why do these titles exist again?

Chavo Guerrero vs. Kid Kash

Hernandez and Gunner are here to second the respective guys. As if the ending of this wasn’t clear enough already, Grandmama Guerrero is here. Chavo speeds things up quickly and throws on an armbar. Kash escapes and pounds away but gets pulled off by the referee. Kash throws him into the air so Chavo crashes down, followed by a backbreaker for two. A moonsault hits knees and it’s comeback time. Chavo hurricanranas him down and a dropkick gets two. Both seconds get on the apron and Kash hits Chavo in the head. Dead Level is countered and it’s time to roll some suplexes. The Frog Splash pins Kash at 4:41.

Rating: C. This was fine for a debut from Chavo even though it was exactly what you would have expected it to be. Chavo is fine for midcard stuff like this and if he doesn’t rise much higher than this I won’t have many complaints. Nothing much to see here but a decent match that eats up five minutes isn’t a bad thing.

Dixie says it’s time for AJ to step up and set the record straight.

Angle talks to someone’s kid who says that he wants to be a wrestler. It’s Wes Brisco, son of Gerald Brisco. He asks Angle to put in a good word for him and Angle doesn’t seem to be opposed to the idea. Before he can say yes though D-Von and Garrett come in to offer their services to Angle tonight. He says cool.

It’s time for the baby shower. Kaz: “AJ Styles isn’t here tonight. He’s in Australia, promoting Impact Wrestling and possibly impregnating somebody.” Daniels and Kaz invite Clair into the ring and give her a necklace. Daniels talks about how important being pregnant is and says they’ll do what AJ won’t do. The first gift: diapers. The next: a bunch of Impact gear such as toys and t-shirts. The piece de resistance (Daniels: “That means prize piece you idiots. Stay in school.”) is an AJ baby doll. Clair looks into the camera and shouts at AJ to do the right thing.

Joseph Park says he’s been retained by some Impact wrestlers for his legal services. He offers Sting said services but Sting says he’s covered. One thing Sting would like to know though: where did Park learn how to do a Black Hole Slam like that? Park doesn’t have an answer.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

Wes Brisco is at ringside. Weren’t Roode, Sting and Aries supposed to be here too? Feeling out process to start as no one can get an extended advantage. Storm works over the arm which seems to work as well as anything else does for him. Here’s Sting to ringside as well. D-Von and Garrett come out quickly thereafter as Storm hits a facebuster on Angle. Storm is almost sent to the floor but he skins the cat and hits a Thesz Press to pound on Angle some more.

The Last Call is ducked and Angle suplexes him down. Bully Ray is here too. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting an Orton Elevated DDT to put Angle down. Roode and Aries come out as well as Storm hits a hot shot and running forearm. Angle catches him in the corner and hits the Rolling Germans to put Sting down. Angle Slam is countered but Angle kicks Storm in the face for two.

Ankle lock is countered and Storm hits the Angle Slam on Angle for two. Angle takes him into the corner and now the ankle lock goes on. Storm can’t roll through but he won’t tap. Taz is telling Storm to tap out because it isn’t worth it. The hold has been on for a minute or so now. The fans cheer for the Cowboy and he finally rolls onto his back and kicks Angle in the head. Last Call hits out of nowhere for the pin at 13:32.

Rating: B-. This started slow but it got better until the end. For the life of me I don’t get why TNA keeps having these quick endings. The superkick came out of nowhere and it seemed like the perfect time for a kickout. Still though, this was a good match and felt like a big one, which is a good thing for a TV show.

Everyone looks around for Aces and 8’s but Storm grabs the mic. He calls out Aces and 8’s, saying that with everyone here why don’t they come out now. No one comes out so Roode says this is odd isn’t it James? He says Storm doesn’t need them and that’s why they’re not here. Roode says he told everyone and Ray sneaks up on Storm, causing a brawl. Aries and Roode brawl too as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty in the middle show but there was enough good stuff to hold me in for two hours. The Aces and 8’s stuff is starting to roll again, as is the Clair stuff. Both stories have potential to blow up in either a good or bad way at any time, but for the moment they’re both solid enough. There are a lot of questions still, but that’s good enough to bring us back for more. Good show here but nothing great.

Results

Kenny King/Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode/Zema Ion – Reverse F5 to Ion

Bully Ray b. Robbie E – Bubba Cutter

Madison Rayne b. Tara, Mickie James and Gail Kim – Rollup to Tara

Chavo Guerrero b. Kid Kash – Frog Splash

James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: August 1, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Byron Saxton, Jim Ross

Back to Florida again and tonight is a big step forward in NXT as we’re going to have a major announcement. I won’t spoil it for you as you’re going to read about it soon. Why I’d be worried about spoiling something a minute away is beyond me, but there isn’t much else to talk about for this show and I need to fill in space. Let’s get to it.

Dusty Rhodes opens the show and he’s called the interim GM of NXT. I thought he was permanent. Dusty talks about what it means to be a champion and how NXT needs someone to be atop this place. There’s going to be a Gold Rush Tournament to crown the first tournament and the round of eight begins soon. The eight men are (in no particular order mentioned):

Richie Steamboat

Bo Dallas

Leo Kruger

Seth Rollins

Mike McGillicutty

Drew McIntyre

Jinder Mahal

Justin Gabriel

No Tyson Kidd. That’s interesting. Oh and the first round begins RIGHT NOW.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Richie Steamboat vs. Leo Kruger

Richie tries some very fast rollups for two each. Kruger chops him in the chest and the chase is on outside. Back in and Leo tries a sleeper but Richie escapes before it goes on. The camera is using some non-traditional angles here for some reason. Kruger gets knocked to the floor and tries to frustrate Richie. That makes sense as his dad always had a temper to him. Back in and Richie hits a chop in the corner and Kruger may have a bad knee.

Scratch that as it was a fake and Kruger nails him. Now that’s how you go about being evil. A snap suplex gets no cover as Leo would rather pose. An elbow drop gets one and it’s off to a cravate. Steamboat tries to fight back but walks into a big spinebuster for another two. The sleeper is countered again so Kruger settles for right hands to the head. Kruger charges into a boot and it’s back to the chops.

A backdrop puts Kruger down and a missile dropkick gets two. Steamboat misses a clothesline and there’s the sleeper from Kruger. Steamboat finally makes the rope but he’s in trouble. Kruger sends him into the ropes but Steamboat comes back with the Sling Blade for the pin to advance at 7:51.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was just a match. These two had a better match a few weeks ago but they had something to fight for here, which at least makes things more interesting. Steamboat doesn’t have that much going for him at the moment other than his name, but that can be easily fixed.

Here are the official brackets for the tournament:

Rollins

McIntyre

Gabriel

McGillicutty

Steamboat

Dallas

Mahal

Big E. Langston vs. Adam Mercer

I wonder if I can get a glass of juice to go with the squash we’re about to have. Langston fires knees to the ribs and hits a set of backbreakers. Mercer gets in a bit of offense but Langston runs him over. There go the straps and Langston loads him up in a powerslam position. Instead of slamming him forward, Langston falls onto his back and slams Mercer into the mat for the pin at 2:00. Apparently it’s called the Final Cut. The name is ok but I’m not wild on the move.

Audrey Marie vs. Raquel Diaz

Well Marie looks good in leather pants and a leather bikini top. She’s got that going for her. Diaz has a mic on the way to the ring and talks about how great she looks and how well she can work a ramp. Marie grabs a headlock to start but Raquel hot shots her for two. Diaz hooks a chinlock but it doesn’t last long. Instead she chokes away and rams Marie’s face into the mat a few times. Raquel loads up a backslide but Marie counters our of the corner. The counter is caught in the Gory Bomb though, giving Diaz the pin at 2:33. I’m not a fan of Diaz’s character, but I’m a big fan of the fact that she has a character.

Raquel puts an L on the forehead of Marie with lipstick. The L is for loser I guess.

Paige is glaring at Raquel in the back. She says we’ll see about Raquel and her tour.

Hunico/Camacho vs. Mike Dalton/Jason Jordan

Hunico and Jordan get us going as Regal tells us Camacho and Hunico’s backstory for the dozenth time. Jordan takes Hunico to the mat and controls with a front facelock before it’s off to Dalton. After a Camacho distraction, a dropkick gets two for Hunico. Off to Camacho who stomps away on Dalton in the corner. A butterfly suplex gets one and Camacho pounds away some more. Back to Hunico who hits a double team powerbomb with Camacho for two. Hunico launches Dalton at Camacho but Dalton catches him in a hurricanrana out of nowhere for the upset pin at 3:41.

Rating: D+. This was a surprise but it caught me off guard which is nice to see. It’s always fun to see something unexpected and having guys who seem like jobbers get a win is one of those things. Jordan is supposed to be a big prospect and this is the first match he’s won in, even though he didn’t get the pin. Nice little surprise here.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins

McIntyre beat Rollins last week so there’s a backstory here. Feeling out process to start and Rollins knocks Drew into the ropes. Drew takes over with a right hand but Seth knocks him to the floor. He loads up a dive so Drew rolls under the ring. That’s one way to avoid it. Drew rams Seth’s arm into the steps and we head back inside. McIntyre works over the arm and hits a DDT on it for two.

We take a break and come back with Drew ducking his head and getting kicked in the face. Rollins can’t follow up though and Drew takes over again, stomping away in the corner. This is the opposite of last week’s show where it was all Rollins for most of the match. The bad arm is rammed into the apron and we head back inside. McIntyre tries to throw him up into the air but Rollins DDTs him out of the air for two. Rollins tries to speed things up and hits an enziguri to stagger Drew.

Seth knocks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to send McIntyre up the ramp. Back inside and Drew takes Rollins’ head off with a clothesline for two. Rollins tries to go up but dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Drew loads up a belly to back superplex but Rollins knocks him off. They do the same finishing sequence from last week with the missed splash, but this time Seth avoids the running boot and hits the Blackout for the pin at 9:44 shown of 13:14.

Rating: B-. I liked the psychology at the end there a lot as it was a direct call back to the previous week’s match. Rollins is a guy that is hit or miss to me but giving him a longer match like this helped him a good bit as he had to work to get a win here instead of just being insane and winning a quick match. Good main event.

Overall Rating: B. It’s so nice to see this show moving forward so quickly. In less than two months they’ve already made more progress than Season 5 made in over a year. The matches were good, they had a purpose, and they’re fighting towards something. That’s more than all of Season 5 could say in their entire run. Good stuff here and possibly their best show yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW House Party 1996
Date: January 5, 1996
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

Great, back to Philly again. This was another request for a show which I don’t remember the reasoning behind. This is from ECW golden era as Heyman was still considered brilliant before he self destructed and messed up everything he had built. I only know a little bit about this time period so it’s hard to say what’s coming. There’s a chance there’s a legendary ECW moment here so if that’s the case I’m looking forward to it. Let’s get to it.

Joey is in the ring to start but can’t even say his own name before Bill Alfonso and the whistle interrupt him. Fonzie says that he hates Styles and wants more interviews for himself and Taz. Joey finally rips into Fonzie and says that he’s ruining everything. They argue some more until Taz comes in and threatens Styles.

911, the 7’0 300lb enforcer of ECW, comes out to save Joey. Promoter Tod Gordon runs out and blasts Fonzie, making Taz go after Gordon. 911 grabs Taz by the throat but referees come out and break it up. The ring is cleared out other than one small guy who Taz suplexes. Joey gets yelled at again so here’s 911 again. A guy that looks like Chris Jericho with black hair runs in and jumps 911, taking out his knee.

Oh it’s Kronus with Saturn, more commonly known as the Eliminators, to beat up 911. This goes on for awhile until Rey Mysterio comes in for the save. This is back when Rey had two good knees and wasn’t roided out of his mind. He flies all over the place and cleans house, sending the Eliminators to the floor and hitting a big moonsault press to take both guys out. We have a match apparently.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Post match the Eliminators take out Mysterio and the Pitbulls run in for the save. Francine, looking good in leather, beats up Jason, the Eliminators’ manager. The Eliminators pull her off Jason and hit Total Elimination on her, basically killing her. Jason gets beaten up as a consolation prize.

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

This is Van Dam’s ECW debut. Rotten looks a bit thinner than he would in his more famous days. Rotten runs from a spin kick and then wants a karate fight. We haven’t had any significant contact in the first minute or so here. Rotten gets in a shot and starts pounding away, only to get caught in a Japanese armdrag for one. A chop takes Rotten down for two as Rob is starting to roll. In the match, not joints.

Rotten pokes Rob in the eye and sends him into the buckle to take over. Something we would call the Angle Slam puts Van Dam down and Rotten pounds away in the corner. It’s so strange to see Van Dam getting no fan support like this. Rotten makes some martial arts motions but misses a top rope elbow.

About two people try to start a LET’S GO ROB chant but it doesn’t quite work. Van Dam hits a top rope splash minus the frog aspect for two. Rotten goes to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive to put him down again. Back in and the top rope kick gets two. Rotten pounds away in the corner but misses a charge. Split legged moonsault gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it’s pretty historic for ECW. It’s always fun to see where guys started, as Rob here was just a guy in a singlet who could jump high in the air. Rotten was better as a tag team guy which we’ll see later on. Other than that, this was just a way to fill in about seven minutes, which was fine.

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Mikey won a winner take all match for the TV and Tag Titles over Scorpio a few weeks ago. Through a series of unimportant events, Mikey has accidentally joined Raven’s Nest (the original Flock) which neither the Nest or Mikey wants. Keep that in mind for later. Scorpio has Woman with him but there’s no Cactus, Mikey’s partner, for Mikey to balance things out. Whipwreck is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Scorpio says that Mikey can leave now and avoid a beating, so Mikey hits him with the belt to get us going. Mikey hits another belt shot but Scorpio kicks it back into his face to take over. Whipwreck gets launched into the air and crashes down face first onto the mat. A kick to the head puts Mikey down again and the beating continues. Scorpio talks some trash on a mic and keeps beating the champion up.

Mikey finally hits an enziguri to slow the beating down, followed by a cross body to send Scorpio to the floor. The idea is that Mikey was so used to getting beaten up that he’s not experienced on offense yet. They head to the floor and Mikey keeps pounding away on the back. Back in and Mikey grabs a German suplex for two. A legdrop gets one and 2 Cold has to poke him in the eye to break the momentum.

A powerbomb is countered into a rana by Mikey followed by a jumping kick to the ribs off the top. That looked bad. Scorpio heads to the floor and hits a running chair shot to the head of Whipwreck. Back in and a powerbomb keeps Mikey down. He gets sent into the chair and Scorpio can taste the gold. I wonder if it tastes like chicken. Everything else does. A powerslam sets up a twisting legdrop out of the corner but Mikey gets out at two.

Mikey reverses a bulldog to send Scorpio face first into a chair. He pops Scorpio in the back with the chair a few times, followed by a surfboard. 2 Cold gets up as most of Mikey’s offense doesn’t work that well and hits a Tombstone Powerslam for two. A moonsault hits but Scorpio lets him up, which is what cost him the initial match. Scorpio superplexes him but again lets Mikey up at two.

The Tumbleweed (rotating splash) gets two on Whipwreck again and now Scorpio is getting mad. Mikey grabs a swinging DDT out of nowhere but it only gets two. A top rope rana puts Scorpio down but he rolls to the floor before he gets covered. Mikey hits a BIG dive off the top and over the barricade to take Scorpio down again. Back in and Scorpio kicks Mikey’s head off to take over. Scorpio hits a belly to back superplex but the referee gets hit in the process. Cue Raven who DDTs Mikey, allowing Scorpio to hit a moonsault into a legdrop for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good overall and the best match on the card by a few miles so far. Mikey could sell like a master but his offense never quite worked. He was a character designed around making the fans feel sorry for him and therefore care about him, but it doesn’t do much in one shots like this one. Scorpio was his usual high flying awesome self.

Taz vs. Hack Myers

Speaking of guys that are only good for the live crowd, I give you Hack Myers. He’s a biker that doesn’t do much other than punch and he’s called the Shah of Hardcore for no apparent reason. Fonzie comes out in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, making him more awesome than anything on this show so far. Myers works on the arm for a bit but Taz throws him down like a fly. You know, because you often throw over flies.

Joey talks about “these Ultimate Fighting PPVs” which have inspired guys like Taz. Taz rolls him down to the mat and puts on a hold of some sort on the neck. Myers sends him into the corner and elbows him in the back of the head to take over. Taz is like screw that and takes him down with a judo throw. Some more punches are countered by a T-Bone Tazplex followed by a head and arms Tazplex. A German Tazplex sets up the Tazmission for the tap.

Rating: D. Taz was pretty awesome with those suplexes but he needed more to work with here. Myers was a hometown favorite but man was he boring to watch for non-ECW fans. Taz would run through ECW for the next year or so before facing Sabu in the real main event of Barely Legal.

Post match Taz says he’s going on a Path of Rage through ECW and no one is stopping him. That was pretty much correct.

Jimmy Del Ray vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Del Ray is one half of the Heavenly Bodies but Tom Pritchard has been sent to the WWF as Zip in the Body Donnas, so Del Ray has Mr. Hughes with him now to try to give him something to do. Sign Guy Dudley has a Sign Off with the Sign Guy in the front row. Moving on. Bubba can’t say his name which was his gimmick back then, so Del Ray jumps him to start. Bubba pounds him into the corner and comes back with a dropkick (yes you read that right) and it’s time for a dance off!

Bubba seems to win so Del Ray jumps him and pounds away. Neckbreaker gets two. Del Ray, as well as Pritchard for that matter, never really did anything for me although I haven’t seen a lot of their SMW stuff which is their most famous work. Del Ray’s whip into the corner is reversed and the big fat Bubba hits a corner splash but Del Ray hits him low.

A tornado DDT gets two for Jimmy and he’s getting frustrated because his minute and a half of offense didn’t work. Dudley tries the Bubba Bomb (a powerbomb, not the full nelson kind) but Mr. Hughes distracts him, which to be fair isn’t that hard to do. Del Ray hits Bubba again but as he tries a backdrop, Bubba DDTs him for the pin. Bubba would get better to say the least. Too short to rate but this was nothing.

Post match a brawl breaks out and Mr. Hughes yells about the Dudleys and Bubba’s inability to speak English in particular….and here’s Shane Douglas. He’s returning to ECW after being Dean Douglas in the WWF and the fans ERUPT. He’s doing a parody of the teacher, making fun of the English of Bubba. Shane does the Triple Threat sign and says things are going to be fixed around here. Shane hits Bubba and that’s about it. What an odd way to return for a big name in ECW.

At this point there would be a match with the Bad Breed vs. JT Smith and Tony Stetson but apparently it wasn’t on the home video. It went to a no contest, apparently due to the Bad Breed half murdering them.

We now get to the very famous segment from this show. Dancing Stevie Richards comes out along with Blue Meanie and Beaulah. Stevie says he’s no longer Dancing Stevie but rather Studly Stevie, the King of Swing. He talks about Missy Hyatt wanting him which is the result of them kissing on Hardcore TV recently. He makes fun of the American Males which shows you the level of references they’re reaching here.

Joey makes fun of Richards for wasting TV time like this. Stevie points out that Raven isn’t here and talks about how Raven was at a concert in early December. Raven started partying that night and he’s just now coming down. During that span, Beaulah has been neglected by Raven so Richards is going to kiss her to make up for it. She says no and that she doesn’t want to be touched. Richards says it’s because she’s Raven’s girl but she says it’s because she’s pregnant. Joey freaking out by that is pretty funny stuff.

Raven comes out and yells at her, saying the pills say one day at a time. We get the next bombshell as Beaulah says it’s not Raven’s. Raven blasts Richards but she says it’s not his either. She says it’s Tommy’s and Raven freaks. Dreamer runs out and destroys Raven, hitting him with whatever he can find, including a sign with a stop sign hidden inside.

Then in one of the more bizarre moments in ECW history (which is saying a lot) a fan hands Tommy a blueberry pie which Raven gets piledriven onto. You know, because when you come to a wrestling show, you bring blueberry pie with you. Dreamer and Beaulah leave together as this feud continues.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas

This is Public Enemy’s last match before they head to WCW as well. The Public Enemy is Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock while the Gangstas are Mustafa Saed and New Jack. It’s a big dance party to start before Public Enemy says that they love it here and that this is their house. The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant “you’ll be back” or “you sold out”. Now Jack runs his mouth about WCW and Harlem Heat and all that jazz. Sensational Sherri is a ho apparently.

It’s a big brawl to start and did you really expect anything else? Jack immediately busts grunge open and beats on him with what looks like a whip. Rock and Saed get back in and Rock is choked with something. An iron, as in the thing you get wrinkles out with, is brought in and goes upside Rock’s head. Now it goes onto Jack’s head for two. Public Enemy takes over and we’ve got a lot of blood already.

Grunge DDTs Mustafa for no cover before sending him to the floor. Mustafa is put on the tbale and there’s a big flip dive by Rock through Mustafa through said table. We go into the crowd with Grunge hammering away on Jack. Mustafa busts out a spinning toe hold on Rocco of all things but gets caught in a small package for two. Jack piledrives Grunge on the floor and goes up onto a balcony for a splash. This is just mindless violence at this point.

A loaf of bread is used as a weapon. I hope it was white because if you bring in whole wheat…..I don’t even want to think of that kind of carnage. They head back to ringside as we have a pie used. Rock is placed on a table in the ring and Saed hits a Vader Bomb through it, allowing Grunge to cover Saed for two. Everyone gets back inside now and it’s time for another table.

Jack and Grunge head to the floor again and a can of soda is used upside Jack’s head. Rock moonsaults Saed through the table but can’t cover. Saed suplexes Rock down but Grunge comes in to beat on him. A reverse DDT by Grunge sets up a modified Swanton Bomb from Rock (The Drive By) for the pin on Saed to send Public Enemy out on a high note.

Rating: D+. This was ECW’s signature stuff: mindless violence and destruction. This isn’t my taste but the fans in Philly ate it up. Speaking of eating, what was with all the food used in this match? Did a bakery open up in the ECW Arena that I wasn’t told about? Either way this wasn’t awful but it was what it was: a big brawl which is how Public Enemy should have gone out.

Rock thanks the fans and invites everyone into the ring for one last dance to end the show. They would be back in about three years.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst ECW show I’ve ever seen, but it felt like one of the longest. The good stuff here does exist but at the same time a lot of these matches went on WAY longer than they needed to, namely Sabu vs. Richards. This was also a show where you could see a lot of transition for ECW, as a ton of people were leaving but a lot of big names were arriving, such as RVD and the returning Shane Douglas. Not the worst ECW show ever, but it’s just not my taste at all.

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