Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now that I’m done with all of the pay per views, I’m going to take a small break and do a show that I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. This show is built around finding a #1 contender for Batista who is Raw World Champion at the moment. Therefore, we need to have a tournament. There’s one match on this show that I’m reviewing it for and for you KB trivia fans out there, it’s my favorite match ever. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Batista hitting on Christy Hemme. Bischoff comes up and tells Batista he did well last night against HHH, so tonight we’re starting the Gold Rush Tournament with the winner getting a shot at Batista. The eight people know they’re in but they don’t know who they’re facing until the announcer says their name. Batista is told he has the night off but he says he wants a match tonight. Batista says he wants Bischoff and it looks like he wants to rape him. Eric screams and Batista implies he’s only kidding.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Christian vs. Kane

Tomko is with Christian here and Lita is on a crutch with Kane. Christian talks trash to Kane to start and that’s just not smart. Kane shoves him from the middle of the ring and out to the floor with ease. Back in and a big boot puts the Canadian down and an uppercut puts him outside again. Christian sends Kane into the steps to take over. He hits a springboard crossbody to the floor and Kane is put down again.

That gets two in the ring and Christian chokes away in the corner. Kane shrugs all that off and throws Christian into the air in retaliation. Chokeslam is countered and Christian hooks a sleeper. Kane counters that into a side slam but Tomko breaks up the top rope clothesline. Unprettier is countered but Tomko gets on the apron. Kane sends Christian into him and the chokeslam sends Kane to the semifinals.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it was just a step above a squash. Christian would be gone to TNA a few months after this but he went down in the midcard so at least he advanced a bit. There wasn’t much here as Kane pretty much dominated Christian the entire time. It could have been worse though.

Tomko gets a chokeslam post match.

Flair makes fun of Christian for losing. Flair “raps”, and says HHH will win the tournament. The 80s just died a bit.

Muhammad Hassan complains about not being in the tournament and blames Hogan, Shawn, the fans, and Daivari for the loss last night. Daivari gets beaten down but he still follows Hassan to the back.

Here’s Viscera who talks about how he loves women. He wants to go south of the border and looks at Lillian. Simon Dean comes out to keep this from getting even more uncomfortable. He offers Viscera a lifetime supply of the Simon System products and that ticks the fat man off.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Simon makes a bunch of fat jokes and gets run over. Viscera puts him in the Tree of Woe and crushes him but misses an elbow. That gets Dean nowhere as a chokeslam and splash literally squash him. This was nothing.

Viscera says he’s back on the market.

Candice and Stacy are in the back to plug Stacy’s STUFF Magazine photo shoot. Bischoff comes up to double the plugs and walks on to his office. HHH is waiting there and wants to know why this tournament exists. It should be his title shot because he got screwed out of the title last night. Bischoff says HHH gets his rematch if he wins the tournament. Until then, get out of the office.

Benjamin is in the tournament and says he isn’t nervous because he’s the Intercontinental Champion. He has to be ready for anyone at any time, but Jericho interrupts. Jericho lost to Shelton last night and Jericho seems to respect Shelton now. Jericho is in the tournament and says he might be Shelton’s opponent. Shelton wishes Jericho luck and they shake hands.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match that I was talking about. Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

Edge says he’s in the tournament because he wants another shot to go with his MITB contract. Apparently if he gets drafted, he loses the shot in the case. Ok then. Edge says he’ll be champion and goes up to Lita and Victoria. Victoria says she’s looking at nothing. Nothing here.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Hurricane and Rosey won the belts last night in tag team turmoil. Rosey gets jumped before the match starts and the fat man gets to start with Grenier. A Hart Attack gets two on Rosey and it’s off to Conway. Back to Grenier for nothing of note and it’s back to Conway. Rosey breaks free and it’s off to Hurricane. No one is responding to any of this at all. A top rope rana gets two on Grenier and Conway is sent to the floor. A side slam/Eye of the Hurricane combo gets the pin on Grenier to retain.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this other than filling in time? The answer to that would be nothing, as it was nothing but filler. These four guys were in the horrible spot on the card as they had to be thrown out there in between the major matches and had to fill in time. That’s a horrible spot to be in but at least they got on the show which is more than Hurricane and Rosey would do for a long time.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho works on the arm to start and sends Edge into the buckle over and over. He goes up but Edge shoves him over the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken and Batista is watching in the back. Edge stops to dance but misses a charge, getting sent into the ropes for his dancing abilities. Jericho speeds things up and hits the running hip attack to Edge’s back while Edge is in 619 position. That really needs a name.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and stays on Edge. A sleeper drop gets two for Jericho but the bulldog is escaped. A big boot puts Jericho down but as Edge goes to get the case, Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send it into Edge’s face. Jericho takes Edge down with a plancha but back inside Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. Jericho counters the spear into the Walls but Edge makes the rope. As the referee tries to break it up, Edge gets in a case shot and a missile dropkick gets two for Edge. A spear sends Edge to the next round.

Rating: B-. This was getting good for awhile but Edge using the case was a cheap ending. At least it was new at this point and it hadn’t been driven into the ground yet. Edge would spend most of the rest of the year feuding with Matt Hardy while Jericho would do next to nothing until leaving in August. Good match but it needed a few more minutes.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge. He offers four grand and an autographed Red Sox jersey. A plant is brought in and this goes as well as you would expected it to.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. HHH

A quick Pedigree is countered into a Crossface attempt but HHH escapes. Benoit escapes a belly to back suplex but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Another Crossface attempt is countered and they head outside. Back in and HHH clotheslines him in the back of the head to take over. They head to the floor and Benoit’s eyes are absolutely bugging out of his head. It looks like something from a comedy horror movie actually.

We take a break and come back with Benoit’s eyes still messed up. That’s so scary when you look at things now. HHH drops a knee on the back of the head for two. Benoit comes back with some chops but gets caught in a sleeper. After a few moments it gets broken up via HHH being sent into the buckle but Benoit can’t follow up. A belly to back suplex puts HHH down as does a German suplex but HHH elbows him in the head to escape.

Now the Rolling Germans hit and the Swan Dive gets a very delayed two. Benoit is looking scarier and scarier with every hit to that head. HHH charges but gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Flair is brought in and chopped in the corner but HHH hits Benoit in the head and the referee goes down. Cue Batista who cleans house, including a spinebuster to HHH. Benoit puts on the Sharpshooter and Batista pulls the rope away so HHH has to tap.

Rating: B. This was a good match but the Benoit stuff was scary at times. Even taking out what we would learn about him later on, this was some bad stuff, as Benoit’s eyes were all over the place during some of the match. Those shots to the head looked vicious and it was hard to watch. The ending was good too as Batista’s smile was great when he was holding the rope away. Good match.

Overall Rating: A. With five matches on the card and three of them being above average to great and the other two being short, what more can you ask for from a show? This was excellent from a wrestling perspective and the stories advanced well enough. I can’t ask for much more than this which is a great surprise in a show from 2005. This is well worth tracking down.

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and with good reason: EVERYTHING changes here. Well maybe not everything but a lot of things certainly do. First of all there’s the debut of the longest running Raw GM tonight, as well as a stable being thrown out completely. For the life of me I can’t believe they just threw this out on Raw instead of having it on a big PPV or at least built up or something, but this is WWE in 2002 so the logic is LONG gone. This is also the last Raw before Vengeance 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Taker glaring at Heyman. Heyman says that the main event tonight was his idea. It’s Taker/Brock vs. Flair/Van Dam. Apparently Brock wants Taker on Sunday but Taker says that’s the last thing Brock wants. Taker says he makes the next big things disappear. Oh that’s GREAT.

Here’s Vince to the NWO music. He says that as of now, the NWO is officially gone and that was the last time that you’ll ever hear that music. Until it was 2011 and WWE thought we wanted Kevin Nash in the main event. Vince says the NWO era is now history, which is the case of a lot of previous eras. He lists off some eras, which is kind of cool to hear. However, all of these eras have ended because the company needs to change with the times. That’s what’s happening now, as we’re going to have GM’s on each show with complete authority. The Raw GM is revealed tonight and he’ll give the fans what they deserve.

Flair has no idea who the GM is but no one outside of a McMahon knows how hard this is.

Jeff Hardy/Spike Dudley/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Jeff is European Champion and beat Regal last week to win it. This is also under elimination rules. The other four meet in an elimination tag on Sunday as well. It’s a big brawl to start until Spike and Eddie get us going. Spike gets headbutted in the ribs but a VERY fast rollup with an even faster count gets the pin to eliminate him. Bubba comes in with a quick Bubba Bomb but Regal saves. Off to Benoit who gets chopped in the corner but Regal cheats to take over.

Bubba comes back with the dancing punches and an elbow to Regal’s head for two. Eddie comes in illegally and is launched to the floor. Off to Hardy for about half a second before Bubba comes in again. Eddie and Benoit go suplex happy and it’s Benoit vs. Jeff. Eddie comes in quickly and picks Jeff apart with shots to the back and neck. Regal in now to slow things down before tagging Benoit back in.

A belly to back suplex puts Jeff down and Eddie comes back in for his spinning eye rake. The heels tag in and out very quickly. Regal catches Bubba not paying attention and things break down. Regal brings in the European Title but Bubba gets it away and clocks William for it, but that’s a DQ so it’s 3-1. Hardy immediately hits the Swanton on Regal to make it 2-1 as we take a break.

Back with Eddie missing a slingshot hilo so that Jeff can cradle him for the pin to get us down to one on one. After some double teaming before Eddie leaves, Benoit hits a German suplex. Jeff gets sent to the corner but comes out with Whisper in the Wind. Eddie comes back out as a decoy, allowing Regal to pop up and knock Hardy out with the brass knuckles. Crossface goes on and Hardy is unconscious to end it.

Rating: B. This was good, primarily for two reasons. First of all it had time to develop. That’s very important as it would have gotten annoying to see five eliminations in about a minute. Also, having Hardy lose by cheating was good as you can’t have Hardy beat all three guys but you also want to keep him strong. This was very well done and it worked. I could have seen this being on PPV, which is a rarity for Raw.

Post match Benoit and Eddie set up a table but the Dudleys make the save.

Coach has some suggestions for who might be the GM. Some names floating around are Mick Foley, Vince’s brother, and Paul Heyman, who pops up after being asked to meet with Vince. Heyman goes into Vince’s office and Coach says he’ll wait until Heyman leaves. A production chick literally runs in and says the new GM has arrived.

Post break the new GM comes in and Vince is shocked because it’s…..Shane? Vince says Shane isn’t the GM but Shane yells about how bad of an idea this is. Shane knows who the GM is and says that the new guy is a parasite that is going to screw over the company.

Van Dam and Dreamer are in the back talking about the GM stuff. Van Dam is glad it’s not Heyman. Dreamer asks about the Van Terminator that Heyman took last week and Van Dam says he had it coming for years. He wants to hit Lesnar for one too. Van Dam leaves and Stevie Richards pops up. He doesn’t believe what Tommy has been saying lately so let’s make our match a Singapore Cane match. Various jokes are made so here’s Goldust for a cameo. Richards hits Dreamer with the cane.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards

Basically there are few rules but Singapore Canes are legal. Dreamer gets in a few shots to start and they head to the floor. Tommy jumps off the steps for a shot to the back of Richards. Stevie gets in a shot to the face (all shots here are with canes unless otherwise noted) and yells at the cane. Dreamer is busted. Richards suplexes him on the ramp but might have hurt his shoulder in the process.

Back inside now for some choking with the cane. Stevie destroys Dreamer with the cane but Dreamer begs for more. Dreamer takes him down and beats on him before hitting a DDT for two. Dreamer goes up for a shot from the middle rope but jumps into a superkick for two. Both guys get canes but Dreamer is quicker and he BREAKS THE STICK over Richards’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!

Rating: C+. They knew what they were going for here and the idea worked pretty well: hit each other with some sticks for about four minutes with some occasional wrestling thrown in. Sometimes that’s all that you need and it worked pretty well here. Besides, what else do you expect from these two?

Booker is with Coach (Coach is taller actually) and says that less than a month after he got kicked out of the NWO, the NWO is gone. He feels like celebrating and wants a Coach-A-Rooni. Coach says no and Booker thinks that since Rock is on another show, he’s the new announcer abuser. Coach does a HORRIBLE one and Booker rips him apart for it. “You sure you black dog?” Booker is ready for Big Show and does his catchphrase, but Eric Bischoff pops up. Yes, THIS is how they did the reveal.

Here’s Vince to no music for some reason. He introduces Bischoff as the new GM in a really underwhelming reveal. Vince and Bischoff hugging on the stage of Monday Night Raw is SO bizarre to see. He comes out to Back in Black for some reason too. Bischoff gets in the ring and says that he’s the guy that ran WCW, but not the Invasion version: the REAL WCW. He says he’s the guy that Vince was talking about when he mentioned ruthless aggression.

Bischoff was the ruthless one, signing up every big star that WWF had. He signed Heenan and Okerlund just because he could. Eric talks about raiding Vince during the steroid trial and making the war personal. He talks about the tricks that he did during the Monday Night Wars and how that was innovative (if you call stealing stuff that the Poffos did to the Jarretts back in the 80s innovative then sure) which is what made him successful rather than Turner’s money.

He talks about Madusa and throwing the belt away which was ruthless and aggressive. Bischoff talks about how he gave away PPV quality main events which is what made Vince change the way he did TV. Then he created the NWO (again, if you call stealing ideas from other companies new then yeah that’s true) and beat the WWF 84 weeks in a row. He came this close to putting the WWF out of business.

Then he got a phone call from Vince asking him to run Raw. That makes perfect sense to him because only he could turn this place into a national media powerhouse. The one piece of talent he wanted but could never get was HHH. You know, the guy he HAD under contract and cut. Great eye for talent there Eric. People like working for him and it’s not just about the money. Bischoff is going to put the E in WWE.

Ok so some quick thoughts on this. First of all: WHERE WAS BISCOFF DURING THE INVASION??? If there was a single person PERFECT for running that, it was Bischoff. Apparently he was available at a reasonable price eight months later, and with Flair and the NWO being available three months after Survivor Series, could there be a better leader for a prolonged Invasion? Of course there was: Shane McMahon. Don’t you get the connection?

Second, this wasn’t the best opening promo in the world. All he said was that he was going to bring HHH to Raw, which is fine in theory but he spent about ten minutes explaining stuff to people that likely didn’t care. See, this is one of the BIG problems with the way modern wrestling works: sometimes this behind the scenes stuff works, but this was a good wrestling show so far and they stopped it for this. Yeah this is a huge moment, but talking about “history” is only so interesting to a crowd that doesn’t care about a lot of it. This was a good shock value moment, but I’m not wild about the execution.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending. The champ gets a quick DDT after jumping Trish for two. Trish comes back, pounding away in the corner and hitting the Stratusphere. Chick Kick hits for two. The handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll for the same. Molly hits a backbreaker for two and Trish starts coming back. She loads up Stratusfaction but gets suplexed down. That and feet in the ropes get the pin to retain. This was nothing.

Flair runs into Bischoff in the back. Bischoff wants to bury their past issues but Flair is skeptical.

Booker T vs. Big Show

NWO fallout. Booker tries to fire away in the corner but Show easily overpowers him. A big delayed vertical suplex puts Booker down but an elbow drop misses. Booker rams him into the corner and superkicks him into the ropes. The side kick puts Show down and a clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Show’s running knee hits the steps and Booker’s chair shot misses. Back in the ring Booker has a chair taken from him and Show shoves the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point here? Oh I got it: to push Big Show because we haven’t done that before. Booker was always getting the shaft in WWE as he had the chance to become the guy that was pushed out of the NWO, but instead it’s Big Show that gets the push. Don’t you see the logic there?

Big Show beats him down with the chair and chokeslams him through the table post match.

Brock is lifting a piece of the set in the back because he can. Heyman seems glad that Bischoff is here. Apparently they have a plan about Undertaker.

A WWE employee has died. Apparently he worked in merchandise.

Hardcore Title: Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski

Bradshaw is defending of course. Chris offers to lay down and be pinned but of course he tries the small package which only gets two. Bradshaw clotheslines him to the floor and the beating begins. Christopher gets taken down with a HARD steps shot and Nowitski runs into the crowd. They head to the backstage area and Bradshaw keeps killing him. And here’s Johnny The Bull to hit Bradshaw and steal the title. Unique no?

Big Show and Bischoff chat in the back. It’s Booker vs. Show in a street fight on Sunday.

Johnny The Bull comes in to brag to Bischoff and loses the title to Bradshaw in the process.

Taker warns Brock not to screw with him.

Brock Lesnar/The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam

Taker is WWE Champion and is teasing a face turn. Van Dam is facing Lesnar on Sunday for the IC Title. Flair is here because he might be the top face on Raw. Flair and Taker start us off and Ric is easily overpowered. They head to the corner so Flair can chop him and take over. Van Dam gets a blind tag and a top rope cross body for two. Taker misses a running big boot in the corner and Van Dam fires away with kicks.

Rob kicks the leg and you know that’s the call of the Nature Boy. Figure Four goes on very quickly but Taker easily sits up and chokes his way out of it. A low blow gets Naitch out of it and the old school beating begins. There’s the chokeslam for two and it’s off to King Brock. Lesnar throws Flair around and uses the power shoulders in the corner. He hits the multiple backbreakers and Taker gets in a shot as well. Taker comes in legally so he can pound Flair down in the corner. The jumping clothesline puts Flair down but he comes back with thumbs to the eye.

For no logical reason Flair goes up, but at least they mix it up this time and it’s a superplex instead of the traditional slam. Off to Lesnar who pounds on Flair some more and hits a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and Flair manages a suplex to get the hot tag. Van Dam cleans house and hits Rolling Thunder on the tagged in Dead Man. Missile dropkick and split legged moonsault put Brock down for two. Flair breaks up the Last Ride attempt but walks into the F5. While Brock is down he takes the Five Star, but the Last Ride ends Van Dam for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here. I’m really not sure why they had Flair in there as Taker was defending against Angle and Rock on Sunday, but that’s what happens in the opening days of the Brand Split I suppose. Not a terrible match but it didn’t really change much for the most part.

Bischoff calls Rock to try to steal him to Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show dragged its way across the finish line but it worked for the most part. The first hour was great but after the Bischoff announcement it got down to what made Raw boring in 2002: so-so matches and boring stories with older guys getting pushed to the top. Lesnar wasn’t ready yet but he was coming quickly.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/vengeance-2002-the-great-one-is-still-great/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detriot, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

So at this time, the Brand Split has just happened, although this is still a double branded show. The main feud is Rock vs. Angle vs. Taker. Just glancing at the card, this show more or less sucks. Other than that, there just isn’t much here. Cena’s PPV debut is here if that helps anything at all. Van Dam vs. Lesnar could be ok I guess. Uh yeah let’s just get to this as I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Should be noted that in April of this year, Orton debuted. In May Batista debuted, and in June, about a month prior to this, Cena debuted. Not bad for a three months period is it?

The opening video is based on a passage from the Bible of all things. Oh I forgot. Bischoff made his WWF debut around this time. Oh sorry. It’s WWE now. Really short though.

Tazz and Cole threatened JR and King and therefore they get to call half of the show due to JR and King not wanting to deal with a pair of idiots like them.

BubbaRayDudley/SpikeDudleyvs. ChrisBenoit/EddieGuerrero

This is an elimination match. Since D-Von got sent to Smackdown and is now a preacher (with a deacon named Batista), Spike and Bubba are more or less the new Dudley Boys. Yeah it didn’t work and at I think Survivor Series they put D-Von and Bubba back together. Eddie’s mullet is insane here. Benoit gets a decent pop. I’ve always liked how Fink said Benoit. Absolutely no reason for these guys fighting has been given yet.

Tazz says the Dudleys have tables all over their yard and porch. That’s kind of an amusing visual. Also, it’s stuff like that that is dead in wrestling today. It’s ridiculous, but it gives their characters a sense of kayfabe realism. Today, they’re just two guys that like putting people through tables. Here, they still have a bit of the crazed hillbillies in them which is what made them awesome in the first place. Benoit was hurt at KOTR 2001 so he’s back full time now.

See, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be told in case we’re not up to date. You know, information like WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING! Later in the fall, Bubba would get to feud with HHH over the world title of all things. To say they were low on ideas at this point is an understatement. With no tables involved yet, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are controlling this.

In other words, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are out-wrestling the Dudley Boys. WOW. Taz starts a sentence with “Those of you out there that haven’t been put through a table.” That sums up why I don’t have to make fun of it, even though it was made in a joking manner. HHH decides on Raw or Smackdown tonight. Ok then. Also, four ECW guys in there. But yeah Vince, ECW didn’t have much influence on WWE today. None at all.

Spike runs in for a modified Poetry in Motion that was pretty nice. This has been ALL Radicalz. Yes I know that’s not their name anymore so save your annoying comments. Bubba spears Spike to save him from going through a table. We’re about ten minutes into this and no one is eliminated yet. Spike does a double stomp to the ribs of Benoit from the top rope.

There’s no way that doesn’t hurt no matter how well you get ready for it. Bubba misses his back splash through the table but it doesn’t count since it wasn’t via an offensive move. They’ve been consistent with that so I can buy it. Spike reverses a suplex into a Dudley Dog on Eddie to eliminate him.

They kind of mess up the landing though as Eddie goes ribs first into it and doesn’t hit the ground with his body. Ow I think. Benoit hits a gorilla press on Spike (think about that for a second) and it’s one on one. And Bubba wins it with a Bubba Bomb.

Rati…..BUBBA DUDLEY JUST BEAT CHRIS BENOIT ON PAY PER VIEW??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT NONSENSE? SPIKE DUDLEY JUST BEAT EDDIE GUERRERO ON PPV??? I MUST HAVE EATEN SOME TAINTED YAK GUTS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!

Rating: D+. It was long and had some drama, but in what non-existent universe should the Dudleys beat Eddie and Benoit in ANY kind of match? Someone explain this to me. Also, NO EXPLANATION of why they’re fighting at all. This was just a bizarre fifteen minutes if there ever has been a bizarre fifteen minutes. I’m legit stunned.

Bischoff says he’s here to sign the most ruthless athlete he knows of: HHH. Oh let it begin. He’s going into the Smackdown GM’s office. The Smackdown GM at the moment: Stephanie. I’d love to see HHH trying to get them to compete for his services. Three round competition: karate, lingerie, mud wrestling. Hey, tell me Stephanie wouldn’t look hot in a gi.

CruiserweightTitle: JamieNoblevs. BillyKidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all.

Angle says he’ll win tonight but does so in a comedic manner. He makes economy jokes based on Detroit. Wow that’s odd. Heyman and Lesnar interrupt and a rivalry is set up. Lesnar has the title shot at Summerslam. Brock was still the silent killer at the moment. Angle’s character has slowly grown on me over the years. He’s so happy go lucky and joking but he can whip so much ass in the ring that it’s ok.

EuropeanTitle: WilliamRegalvs. JeffHardy

Hardy is champion here for no reason whatsoever. Maybe the reason is he pinned the European Champion in a title match. Ah apparently it was to Hardy on Raw a few weeks back. He cried after losing the title. Cole of course makes fun of him. Jeff gets a big old pop even at this point. The fans can’t stand Regal at all. He always was a good guy for getting heat. Hardy does that dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes that he does but leaves it short.

Hardy messing up a move. Who would have guessed that? Whisper in the Wind doesn’t have a name yet. Oh and Jess is wearing body paint now. Swanton lands on the knees. That must hurt badly. Hardy gets a weird looking rollup from nowhere to retain. Seriously he was getting his head kicked in and then was rolling him up. Nice ending….I think. Regal freaks again afterwards.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve used that a lot here but it’s what comes up. Just a weird match to put it mildly. It was just random with Regal dominating most of the match but losing out of nowhere. The fans popped big for Hardy though so I can’t complain there.

Flair congratulates Hardy. Hogan is here too. These three are in the same company 8 years later and two of them are legends here. See something wrong there? Hogan says he might use a Swanton later. Flair says what he thinks Ross would say. It’s….not that funny. Hogan says he’s worried about Vince appointing Eric and Stephanie as GMs of THEIR company. Flair was still onscreen owner here, so what the heck is Hogan talking about HIS company?

Flair says he’s worried for the young guys. Oh that’s PRICELESS. You hear all of the political stuff coming, and you have to wonder why they have no problem talking about their bosses like this with a camera looking right at them. That’s wrestling though so I can go with it.

JohnCenavs. ChrisJericho

So Cena had debuted like a month before this and had nearly beaten Kurt Angle in a challenge match. Jericho is heel here mind you. Not bad for a debut feud. Jericho couldn’t beat him three days ago so he beat the tar out of him with a chair. Yeah Jericho not being able to beat Cena. I’m stunned too. Cena has generic rock theme #849B here. Oh and he’s from Boston here. Also he’s wearing red shorts with a white stripe up the side. It was a very different time.

He wouldn’t be a rapper for a few months. This is a totally different guy than you’re used to. He’s not that good in the ring, he has NO heat, and I don’t think he has an actual signature or finishing move. Jericho kicks his head off with a spinning heel kick. I love that move. More or less Cena is just trying to survive here. Random note but TNA started about a month before this. Lionsault misses and Cena gets two on a rollup. Jericho getting ticked off is a thing of beauty.

Lionsault hits but he doesn’t cover like an idiot. Cena counters the Walls into a rollup for a quick pin. See what I mean by not having a finisher? And remember, Jericho was main eventing Mania three and a half months earlier.

Rating: C-. TV level match here but this is far more of a signature moment than anything else. Jericho put him over clean here and you can’t ask for much more. This wasn’t bad at all, and given Cena’s experience at this point, there was only so high they could take this. Also, Cena beats Jericho again.

Bischoff and Coach are waiting outside Stephanie’s office where HHH has been for awhile. Her lawyer goes in. I don’t care.

JR and King take over on commentary.

RVD is stretching. So is Lesnar. BUYRATE BABY!

We recap them, which more or less is Lesnar is awesome and beats up everybody he fights. He beat RVD to win KOTR. That’s about it.

IntercontinentalTitle: BrockLesnarvs. RobVanDam

Ok so make that Cena, Orton, Batista, Mysterio and Lesnar in four months. Think this was a good time for the company? Heyman was perfect in this role. Although I do wonder why knowing Heyman’s money history Lesnar would let him handle his contracts. Makes little sense. Van Dam is OVER. Oh yeah he’s the hometown boy here. Brock uses an FU about 4 seconds in and since he’s not John Cena, it does nothing. Yeah Lesnar’s strength is nothing compared to Cena’s.

Van Dam gets some solid shots in on Lesnar that makes things believable at least. Weird to think that both of these guys are world champions today, almost eight years later. Lesnar hits a powerslam on the floor. Freaking OW! Ross thinks Van Dam has the advantage in speed in quickness. My head hurts from announcers at times.

We hit the bear hug with Brock in control. Van Dam cues up his comeback with Heyman’s advice being DON’T LOSE! F5 is countered into a DDT. Five Star connects but Heyman pulls the referee out. Yep, it’s a weak DQ. The referee beats up Heyman for no apparent reason. F5 to RVD post match.

Rating: C+. The key thing here was they had to protect both guys and that’s what they did. Van Dam keeps the title and had Lesnar beat, but Lesnar didn’t get pinned. It’s a nice deal because as they said, Lesnar had nothing at all to lose here. This was fine for what it was.

Let’s waste more time outside Stephanie’s office because it worked so well last time. Stephanie walks out and she’s not happy looking. She says he signed. Ok then. HHH walks out and Bischoff yells at him. Apparently he signed divorce papers. He hasn’t decided on who to sign with yet.

BigShowvs. BookerT

This is no DQ for no apparent reason. Maybe we’ll GET AN EXPLANATION HERE! No count outs either which I would have though was self-explanatory. Ah here’s an explanation. Show beat up Booker on Raw to culminate their feud. SO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING??? Booker is in blue here which is oddly working for him. Apparently Show wanted the stipulations here. Oh and Show is in his one piece swimsuit again.

He would be the first guy to beat Lesnar. Wow. He’s just big, slow and bad here. We hear WWF here which would be a big issue today. If nothing else Show looks funny, although I don’t think that was their intention. Booker gets a good monitor shot into the head of Show on the floor. We now get one of the most contrived spots I can remember in a long time.

After that monitor shot, Booker gets on the other end of the tables and Show just happens to stay in perfect position for the axe kick. So if he hadn’t stood like that, what would Booker have done instead? That’s what I mean by contrived. We go back in and an axe kick and the Houston Hangover (front flip into a leg drop from the top) gets a clean pin. This was borderline squash.

Rating: D+. Not very good and that awful spot killed it for me. This was just random and it came off badly. Booker went on the hottest streak of his life just after this, culminating in being fed to HHH at Mania 19. This was just a weird one though.

Torrie and Dawn Marie are at The World, the newly named WWF New York. This was pointless.

And here’s HHH. Yeah, after about a month off or so, it’s time to talk about what his career plans are. Oh freaking JOY. Apparently he’s the biggest name in wrestling. Ok then. And we’re into HHH is awesome time now. Ross says he coined the phrase Cerebral Assassin months ago. Yeah that’s why they were using it OVER A YEAR AGO at Mania 17. Before he can talk though, here’s Bischoff. Once his theme song ends, his video keeps playing. Ok then.

Bischoff’s main pitch is he’s all business rather than personal. He offers HHH movie roles etc. He almost calls HHH a WCW Superstar. That was almost funny. He’s getting a shoe deal too. And here’s Stephanie of course. The weak rap/hip hop song for her just fails though. Wow Stephanie trying to be tough always FAILS. Oh yeah, and she cannot talk at all. They were unstoppable apparently.

You know, until they got, you know, stopped. Eric and Stephanie go back and forth for a bit with Stephanie mentioning that Eric once said HHH had no talent or charisma. WOW this is making my head hurt. Now HHH talks for awhile. This is just painfully bad. He sticks his hand out to Eric. He doesn’t shake it. He says he’d rather go with the devil he knows rather than the one he doesn’t. And here’s HBK who just left the NWO. Yeah that was just stupid.

The NWO had more or less been threatening to force HHH to join them on Raw. OH THAT’S RIGHT! Booker and Show were fighting because they were in the NWO together and Shawn said Booker was the reason the team sucked so Big Show started fighting Booker. This era sucked.

The NWO is gone now as they realized the thing was just stupid at this point. Shawn talks him into coming back to Raw. HHH turned heel the next night and beat up Shawn. This is ten minutes I’ll never get back. Gah it’s not over yet. Stephanie and Eric have to talk a bit more.

Rikishi says he’s surprised about HHH. This was pointless.

Booker and Goldust get asked about HHH. Booker says bring him on. Goldust makes a bad sex joke.

We recap the 4th of July tag title change. Edge was a childhood Hulkamaniac so they just randomly won the tag titles. Christian and Lance Storm were the UnAmericans at the time, so the REAL CANADIAN Edge and Hogan defended the country. Yeah it was stupid.

TagTitles: LanceStorm/Christianvs. HulkHogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that?

Bischoff tries to get Angle onto Raw. Smart if nothing else.

Stephanie threatens to rip the heart out of Raw. Not sure what she means but she did get the IC Title to Smackdown. Pay no attention to the fact that the belts were unified soon after and we had the idiotic year where there were only world champions. Yeah it was stupid.

We recap the triple threat main event. Rock had a title shot for no apparent reason and there’s the famous Taker taps out while pinning Angle thing. Replays in slow enough motion show Taker tapping before the three hit the mat but whatever. It was a draw but whatever. That actually happened at UFC 34 in a Matt Hughes fight.

He was in a triangle choke and tried to slam the guy into the mat. He did so and won by knockout, but he was out from the choke. Taker suggested doing it to set up this angle. But no Vince, UFC which today is light years ahead of what it was back then has no impact on wrestling at all.

UndisputedTitle: TheRockvs. KurtAnglevs. Undertaker

So Rock is officially an actor now but he’s here for no adequately explained reason. That would come at Summerslam though. It’s your standard triple threat so far with Angle and Rock doing the heavy lifting early on. Taker goes for the chokeslam on Rock but Rock does it to him. In other words he did a Rock Bottom but didn’t go down with him. They show a close up replay and I forgot it was a chokeslam. Rock puts the ankle lock on Angle and Angle hits him with a Rock Bottom.

Taker hits an Angle Slam on Angle as we have a nice little sequence there. That wasn’t bad at all. I love it when Taker grabs a guy by the throat and throws them into the corner to punch the heck out of them. We do the standard one guy goes down and the other two fight for awhile. It does help as you can get three one on ones rather than a threeway so that’s good. Angle is bleeding. Not a bad cut either. He gets beaten back and forth between both guys.

Not bad, but this needs to pick things up a little. Oh look the referee is down and his leg hurts. Oh ok he’s already up again. Angle takes both guys out and covers Taker which is stupid as he was put down first. Taker hits the Last Ride but Angle gets the ankle lock. We use the same finish from Smackdown but now Rock is in the ankle lock. We’re fully into the whole finisher marathon segment here and it’s boring.

Rock Bottom to Taker gets two as Angle is down. Angle Slam to Taker but the Rock Bottom to Angle ends it. Meh. I would have been more interested if I didn’t know the winner beforehand. And I didn’t know because of this being 8 years ago. I knew because of the Rock/Lesnar poster they accidentally released two weeks before Rock won the title.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but DANG the whole nothing but finishers for the last 5 minutes got annoying. Rock jobbing to Lesnar was good and this set that up so I can’t complain much there. Angle was a nice placeholder I guess but this just wasn’t anything special at all. Seeing Taker do an Angle Slam was cool though. Just nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all. This was a totally uninteresting show from start to finish with no great matches and 15 minutes going to HHH saying Raw rather than a long match in between. Thankfully this was the end of Hogan’s time around titles but man this was boring. The whole show just came off as uninteresting and like a waste of time. Take a pass here, although the triple threat is watchable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is gone. That’s the main difference between this week and last week, and if you’ve read about the June 3 show, you can see why that’s such a huge deal. Austin was the only main event good guy on this whole show, which is why things should be very interesting here. There’s a new main event tonight with Vince facing Flair for total control of the company, because when the biggest star in the company leaves, it’s time to bring back Vince. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Flair to open things up. He talks about how he lost clean to Austin last week and he doesn’t like it. However, he lost a fair match so he’s here to take his punishment like a man. Unfortunately, Austin isn’t here, so….here’s Vince instead. Vince says he created Raw about ten years ago and he knows what it takes to be an owner. Flair is about the sorriest owner he’s ever seen in his life. Flair has run this show into the toilet, and despite being a 16 time world champion, he still sucks.

Flair wants to know what Vince proposes we do about it. Vince says that unlike Austin, he has the guts to be here tonight and look Flair in the eyes. He doesn’t have to do this for the money anymore because he’s a billionaire. He can’t stand another day with Flair owning half of what Vince created, so how about tonight, one on one, for everything. As in the winner is the owner of the whole company. Flair calls Vince a Nature Boy wannabe, struts some, and says it’s on.

Earlier today Nash was reading the paper when Pac comes in. They’re outside of the NWO locker room because Shawn wants private time. Big Show comes up needing to get in because he had Mexican food today. Booker comes in and wants to talk to Shawn, but when he can’t get in he sings Shawn’s music. Then he sings a version with Booker themed lyrics instead. This pointless segment has been brought to you by the NWO.

Booker T/X-Pac/Big Show vs. Spike Dudley/Tommy Dreamer/Shawn Stasiak

Booker gets his own entrance for some reason. Pac and Spike start things off with Pac taking him down with a shoulder block that did not connect at all. Spike gets sent into the corner and there’s the Bronco Buster. A headscissors puts Pac down and it’s off to Big Show vs. Stasiak. We cut to the NWO locker room where Shawn and Nash are watching. Nash shuts the door.

The fans want Booker as Dreamer throws a bucket of confetti at Booker ala the Harlem Globetrotters. Everything breaks down and the side kick pins Tommy. Booker was just begging for a big push but it wouldn’t come until January and HHH would make sure that got killed as fast as possible. Such is life in WWE. The match was nothing.

Booker plays to the crowd post match and we get a Spinarooni.

Goldust, dressed as the gold Undercover Brother, comes up to Booker in the back and thinks they’re holding Booker down, because, and I’m not making this up, Shawn Michaels is a racist. Stop, go back, you’re not talented enough. Turn around and abort the angle NOW.

Molly is over getting hit with the title last week. Now she’s mad at Terri for being a fake journalist who is there for her sex appeal. Trish comes up and makes fun of Molly for being somewhat fat. Yes young girls, you need to look like Terri and Trish, as in the blonde surgically augmented rails as opposed to the girls that look normal yet perfectly fine like Molly. If Molly loses the match with Trish tonight, she has to wrestle in a thong. Whatever.

Benoit and Eddie come in to see Flair and question his agreeing to the main event tonight. Flair says it’s ok.

European Title: Bradshaw vs. William Regal

Regal is defending even though Bradshaw is Hardcore Champion at the same time. Regal takes him to the mat so Bradshaw pounds him in the face in the corner. Elbow gets two for Bradshaw. Regal hits the knee to the head for the same and goes all evil with his mean face. He punches Bradshaw in the face so Bradshaw comes back with rights of his own. Regal Cutter gets two and it’s off to a modified camel clutch. Fallaway slam puts Regal down and a DDT gets two. Bradshaw loads up the Clothesline but here’s Christopher Nowitski to distract the referee so Regal can knock Bradshaw out with the knucks to retain.

Rating: D-. I can pretty easily see why this title didn’t last much longer. There was nothing to it other than the ending which I guess sets up Regal and Nowitski as pompous brothers which isn’t something we really needed to see getting time here. Bradshaw in this role was horrible as a singles guy.

Nowitski, who was there as a fan, gets to leave with Regal instead of getting arrested. Replay shows that he threw the knuckles to Regal.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Non title here but if Molly wins she gets a title match. If she loses, she has to wrestle in a thong. We replay the segment from earlier to rub in Molly’s lack of looks. Oh there’s going to be a rant on that in a minute. Molly takes over to start and puts Trish down for two. Handspring elbow gets two for Molly as Lawler makes jokes about her hip size. A neckbreaker by Trish puts both chicks down. Stratusfaction is countered and the Molly Go Round gets the pin. Short and bad.

Ok, so my only response to this is screw WWE. Screw their stupid mentality, screw their opinion of women, and screw whoever writes this nonsense. Molly at this point would be 25 years old and Trish would be 26. Molly is a very attractive and curvy woman. She’s also athletic enough to be a WWE Diva, which means she can’t be in that bad of shape. She was in the WWE Swimsuit Magazine and looked fine there too. On the other hand you have Trish Stratus who is a once in a lifetime drop dead gorgeous woman, but she has more plastic in her than a shopaholic’s wallet.

What WWE is telling women is that unless you look like Trish Stratus who has probably had thousands of dollars in plastic surgery done on her, you’re overweight and not worth looking at. You know, because EVERYONE looks like Trish Stratus right? I mean I see at least ten women as hot as her every day.

Trish is indeed gorgeous, but she’s also a fitness model that has spent years sculpting her body to look like that. Not everyone has the genetics to look like she does and what WWE is telling young women here is that if you look like Molly, who looks great, you’re not worth looking at. That’s some dangerous territory to venture into and it’s ridiculous as well. That’s sickening of WWE and I’d bet they didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

Arn Anderson comes up to see Vince and says he thinks Vince is nuts. Vince shoves Arn away. Make sure to run down those WCW guys in their hometown Vince. They might be hurting your dominance of the industry somehow.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Rob takes him into the corner to start and then it’s down to the mat. Eddie hits him in the face and low bridges Van Dam out to the floor. RVD kicks him down and hits a splash off the apron to put both guys down. Back in and a suplex gets two for RVD. Eddie comes back with some clotheslines and stomps to take over. He hooks a Fujiwara Armbar as Jerry praises the potential injuries. JR tells kids not to listen to this man because CLEARLY WWE is the moral authority right?

A belly to back suplex gets two for Eddie but Rob comes back with a clothesline. He goes up but gets crotched, resulting in a superplex for two for Eddie. Van Dam comes back with a Regal Roll and a middle rope moonsault for two. Split legged moonsault misses and a dropkick gets two for Eddie. Rob reverses a rana into a pinfall reversal sequence and the timing is awful but it results in Van Dam getting the pin

Rating: C. Good match up until the ending, but the problem here is that they had a great match on Raw two weeks ago and now they’re not really trying anymore. Van Dam would go on to the finals of the tournament while Eddie would kind of do nothing for awhile. This wasn’t a bad match or anything but it was nothing great.

Undertaker gets here.

The NWO has nothing to say.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He has someone hold up the title during his promo whichis a pretty good jerk move. Taker says he wants respect, which HHH didn’t give him. HHH got beaten down for that lack of respect and he’ll lose at King of the Ring too. Now Jeff Hardy is disrespecting him too and that’s not cool.

Taker wants Jeff to come out here right now and take his punishment like a man but instead it’s Matt with a ladder. Jeff jumps Taker from behind and the Hardys get a double beatdown for a bit. That gets them nowhere as Taker destroys them both, only to have the Last Ride broken up. The Hardys bring in the ladder and Jeff dives on Taker. Somehow this took eleven minutes.

Regal and Nowitski are leaving when Jeff Hardy runs in, yells at the camera and steals an SUV.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock sends him into the corner to start but Bubba comes back with a neckbreaker. Bubba goes for a table but stops to chase Heyman, allowing Brock to hit a BIG overhead belly to belly to take over. There’s a bearhug followed by another suplex for two. Brock charges into a post and gets caught in a release German to put both guys down. There’s the Flip Flop and Fly followed by another German for two. The middle rope backsplash gets two but Bubba has to chase Heyman. Bubba runs into the F5 for the pin to send Brock to the next round.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Brock was in need of ring time more than anything else at this point. For the life of me I don’t get what people saw in Bubba Ray back then as he was nothing special at all, at least not as the generic guy he was here. There was nothing of note here at all but it got the job done I guess.

We recap the challenge from Vince from earlier.

Heyman comes to Vince and offers Lesnar as help after Vince gets full control.

We get a clip from WWE Confidential of Rock saying he’s coming back.

Here’s Shawn who also has his own music other than the NWO theme. Shawn calls it the WWF and says back in his day, they had it all, from garbage men to clowns. The one real thing though was him. Oh this is going to be GOOD. Then the fans and Vince decided that Shawn’s back was broken and maybe it was time for Attitude. Shawn says he was Attitude before it was a catchphrase.

Then the company got behind Austin and he stole Shawn’s spotlight. But Shawn isn’t blaming Austin you see. It was the fans that ran to Austin like a prostitute runs to a millionaire. So why is he here? It’s not to wrestle because he already made that mistake once. One man has stood by him forever, and that’s Kevin Nash. Here’s the rest of the NWO and Shawn says he’s proud of Nash for getting to be such a big deal.

Shawn says he’s seen something that is standing out. Big Show stands out but that’s not the problem. Maybe they’re not focused, which brings him to X-Pac. That’s not it either as Pac is the most talented guy in wrestling today. And there’s a superkick for Booker to kick him off the team and FINALLY make him a face. Booker has been trying to steal the spotlight, “Just like The Rock is stealing it from Hunter” and now no one is doing that again.

Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair

No holds barred. No robe for Flair for some reason. They start on the floor and Vince wins a slugout. They go into the crowd with Flair in control. Back into the ring and Vince slams him down for no cover. Instead he goes out and gets the bell which goes upside Flair’s head. Ric is busted open and they head back to the floor. Vince rams his head into the steps a few times and they head back inside. A bunch of punches and a clothesline gets two.

Vince kicks him low for another two as JR talks about the bruising of Space Mountain. There’s a chair but Flair kicks Vince in the face instead. A chair shot to Vince’s back puts him down again and it’s time to go for the knee. Here’s Arn to watch as Vince gets hit in the grapefruits. The Figure Four goes on but Brock comes in with the F5 to give Vicne full control.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. A lot of the spots were missing and the Vince offense was awful. Granted that probably had a lot to do with him not being a wrestler or anything, but that’s never stopped him before. The ending was pretty weak too, making the match bad overall. At least it wasn’t that long I guess.

JR sums things up by saying that Satan is back in business.

Overall Rating: D. The funk continues to the point where I think we can flat out call this a bad show overall. Not this week’s mind you, but on a regular basis. Nothing was particularly good here and I defy you to tell me what the long term goal for any of this is. Shawn coming back helped them more than anything as it gave them something to focus on. Bad show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 7,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a request for a reason that I can’t remember at all. I also got a request to do the following week’s show so I’ll be doing both in a row. This is right around the time when Austin bailed on the company and I don’t think he would be there next week for Raw. Actually I would be at a house show they were having the Saturday after this so this show has a bit of personal history for me. Let’s get to it.

Flair is in the back with Guerrero, Benoit and Andreson. Ric says they’re ready for Austin and everyone but Anderson goes to the ring, along with about 15 security guards.

Theme song hits.

Kevin Nash has a major announcement to make later tonight.

Here’s Flair along with Benoit and Eddie to open things up. Benoit is from Smackdown but he’s here anyway. Flair says he loves when a plan comes together and we get a clip from last week with Benoit turning heel and helping Eddie beat up Austin. Benoit says last week was a special appearance to see Austin. He says he can’t wrestle tonight because of Austin injuring him at King of the Ring. Austin took away Benoit’s dream of being WWE Champion last year. He’s run out of patience so the punishment begins tonight.

Eddie says last week he had his IC Title stolen from him by Rob Van Dam. It’s made him feel like less of a man and he thinks he’s losing his Latinoism. The Frog Splash to Austin made him feel a lot better and more hot blooded. Flair says Eddie is cool, which kind of defeats the point of what he just said doesn’t it? Ric says Austin won’t be wrestling tonight because he’s been benched. If Austin doesn’t like that, he can talk to Arn Anderson.

Anderson pops up on screen with Austin shaking his arms and talking for him like a puppet. Austin says he just beat up the Enforcer and he doesn’t like being benched. Tonight it’s him vs. Benoit or Guerrero or else. Flair says Austin doesn’t call the shots. Since Eddie is already in a match and Benoit isn’t medically cleared tonight, Austin gets no match. Austin asks for Flair instead, and if Austin wins he’s off the bench.

Flair says it’s on, but it’s going to be a WRESTLING match, just like in the old days. If Austin loses, he’s on the bench forever. Austin wants to know why Flair is called the Nature Boy. Does he like nature? Does he like boys? Austin stomps on Anderson instead of waiting for an answer before relieving himself on Anderson, which looks like mustard.

Hardcore Title: Steven Richards vs. Bradshaw

Steven is defending and this is joined in progress for some reason. Bradshaw quickly takes him down and hits him with a cowbell. Jackie is defending for whatever annoying reason she probably shouted about. Richards gets pumphandle slammed and tied up. Bradshaw finds a saddle and bullhorns under the ring but Steven hits him with a trashcan lid. The fallaway slam puts Richards down and Spike Dudley runs in. That goes nowhere as the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. This was nothing.

Justin Credible comes in post match and gets beaten up just as quickly. Crash comes out and gets the same treatment.

The NWO (Nash, Pac, Big Show and Booker) are arguing but Nash won’t say what the announcement is. Goldust comes in and imitates Coach, asking about the announcement. He thinks that he might be joining the team soon and Booker thinks it’s a good idea. He suggests that if Goldust can beat Pac tonight he gets Pac’s spot. Nash says ok.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Goldust vs. X-Pac

On top of getting into the tournament, the winner gets to be in the NWO. Goldust hits an atomic drop and a lariat for two followed by guillotining Pac on the top rope. Pac comes back with the spinwheel kick for two. Goldust gets his fake beard ripped off for some reason and Pac kicks him in the corner. The Bronco Buster misses and Goldie pounds away in the corner. Goldust hits a Bronco Buster of his own but an attempt at a second hits a boot and the X-Factor keeps Pac on the team.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all here with an angle being thrown together five minutes ago, because getting into a tournament on PPV isn’t important enough right? Goldust was a hilarious character around this point and they needed to get him with Booker soon enough so that the comedy duo could hit as well as it did. The match was nothing at all though.

Video package on RVD vs. Eddie in a ladder match last week where Van Dam got the IC Title back.

Van Dam says he’d do everything again to get the title back. Heyman and Brock come up to make fun of him. They’re in a tag match later. Heyman says that since he dumped Rob, he’s gotten Brock to replace him.

Jeff is playing guitar in the back when Matt comes up to see him. Jeff wants to know what else there is to life. He doesn’t think the Hardys are extreme or live for the moment anymore. He hands Matt the guitar and leaves.

Flair wants more stipulations in the main event tonight. If Flair wins, Austin is Flair’s new personal assistant. Also if Austin throws a single punch, it’s over. Austin comes in and signs the contract without reading it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Terri

They’re both in lingerie. Trish is Women’s Champion due to reasons of common sense. Why would Terri get a title match anyway? Terri attacks to start and hits a top rope cross body for two. Trish charges into a boot and has her powerbomb countered. This is all for the sex spots of course. A bulldog (not springboard variety yet) FINALLY ends this. It was barely two minutes long but it felt like two hours.

Molly runs out post match and punches the belt by mistake, only to get laid out by a belt shot. Trish takes off her panties to reveal a thong.

Arn Anderson (thankfully in a fresh shirt) goes on a rant to Benoit. Flair will win tonight and Austin is going to be cleaning toilets.

Brock Lesnar/Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Rob Van Dam

These were both singles matches last week so there’s your backstory. Eddie and Van Dam start things off which is probably the best possible combination. Scratch that as it’s Brock before any contact. Make that Bubba vs. Brock for the first contact. Eddie runs in for a double beating which is allowed because RVD is being put out in the corner. Eddie stomps Bubba down in the corner but walks into the big side slam for two.

Back to Brock who throws Bubba around like a monster throwing around a fat boy. Bubba grabs a DDT for two and it’s back to Rob. Van Dam fires off a kick but gets caught in a backbreaker and powerslam for two. Eddie comes in and things speed way up in a hurry. A spinwheel kick puts Guerrero down and there’s the tag back to Bubba. He pounds away with left hands and the elbow.

Brock tries to come in but gets suplexed out of his shoes by Bubba. Now there’s something I didn’t think I’d see. Bubba gets a table but Eddie dropkicks it into Ray’s face. It’s back to Eddie vs. Bubba in the ring but Guerrero can’t suplex him. Ok maybe he can and it’s followed by a slingshot hilo into a neckbreaker because Bubba sat up instead of laying down. Back to Lesnar who slugs Bubba down but walks into a Bubba Bomb.

Hot tag brings in RVD who hits his usual hot tag stuff on Eddie. Rolling Thunder gets two and everything breaks down. Brock comes in and runs over everything but Van Dam kicks him down. Heyman breaks up the Five Star and the F5 takes Van Dam down so that the Frog Splash can pin Rob.

Rating: C. Not bad here for the main event style tag match with the midcard talent (and NO commercials either) as everyone had at least a small chance to show off, which is a good thing. Brock would get a lot better, which is why it’s a good idea to put someone like Eddie in there to help him get through a match. This was pretty easily the best part of the show so far.

Regal doesn’t like what Trish did to Molly. He says he should be King of the Ring because he’s British, so Booker comes in to talk about the Revolutionary War. We need Rock to make Thomas Jefferson jokes.

We recap the Tough Enough 2 finale, which was a big surprise because it was never mentioned that the one male/one female winner rule was eliminated for this season.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Booker T vs. William Regal

Regal is European Champion and Booker is NWO despite being very popular. Regal takes it to the mat as you would expect him to. Booker pops back up and elbows him to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in the ring Regal hits a knee to the head but gets kicked back down. Booker hits the ax kick but Regal goes to the floor and grabs the belt and a chair. The referee puts the chair out which allows Booker to hit him with the belt for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is the night of the million meh’s so far as this was another uninteresting match with a stupid ending. When the longest match of the night so far has gotten about nine minutes, it means that we either have a long main event or a long segment left in the show. This was nothing though.

Booker does a Spinarooni post match.

Dreamer watches a clip from Smackdown where Undertaker beat up HHH and vomits as a result. See why no one talks about this period from the show’s history?

Undertaker vs. Tommy Dreamer

Taker is world champion and Dreamer eats his own vomit. This is disgusting and embarrassing to me as a wrestling fan. Dreamer jumps him and knocks him to the floor but Taker powerslams him off the apron. Guess what comes out of Dreamer’s mouth on the landing. Chokeslam and dragon sleeper end this. Good freaking grief.

Taker “slops” Dreamer post match until Jeff Hardy dropkicks Taker into the puddle. Yes, this is how they set up the feud.

Taker beats up Matt in the back since he can’t find Jeff.

Here’s Nash for the big announcement. He keeps it short and says that Shawn Michaels is the newest member of the NWO. They pose together but nothing is said. I guess the main event is long then.

Austin is getting ready with Debra. She finds out that the contract says if Austin wins, Flair is his personal assistant as well. This intrigues the Rattlesnake.

Ric Flair vs. Steve Austin

This was (depending on who you believe) supposed to be the main event of Starrcade 1994 but Hogan decided that Hogan vs. Beefcake was the real best option and that there was no use for Austin in black trunks. You remember Austin back in WCW. He was the guy that was starting to swear a lot and show a complete lack of respect for the veterans and old stars. Hulk Hogan: brilliance.

The loser is the winner’s personal assistant and if Austin throws a punch he’s disqualified. There’s something hilarious about them having to hype up the main event as a wrestling match like it’s a brand new innovative concept. They go to the mat to start and Austin pulls his fist back but the referee stops him. Flair says WOO so Austin flips him off. Austin takes him down and hooks a half crab.

After that’s broken they head into the corner where Austin pulls back his hand but chops Flair instead. Austin hits the Thesz Press but chokes instead. A clothesline gets two for Austin. Here comes Benoit just as Austin gets the Stunner but there’s no one to count. Eddie comes in from behind and hits Austin low, followed by a Frog Splash which gets no cover because Flair is still down.

We take a break and come back with Flair poking Austin in the eye to take over again. Out to the floor with Flair chopping away and getting chopped right back for his troubles. Austin backdrops him on the floor and we head back inside. Flair begs off so Austin chops his chest off. Austin goes for a punch but the referee stops him, allowing Flair to use an illegal punch, which sends Austin flying for some reason.

They chop it out as Flair seems almost hesitant to go after the knee. Naturally just as I say that the Figure Four goes on. Austin reverses it but Flair makes a quick rope. They chop it out and then collide to put both guys down. Flair goes up and you know how that ends with him. Austin stomps a mudhole but Flair grabs a small package for two. They chop it out some more and there’s a Stunner out of nowhere for the pin. It’s as random as it sounds.

Rating: B. See, sometimes it’s ok to not throw a single punch. The stipulations after the match are really stupid but the match to get there was quite good. This would be Austin’s last hurrah for about eight months though, as he would bail on the company about six days after this, due to the show being as stupid as it was, which is pretty true for the most part.

Austin beats up Flair a bit more to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a pretty terrible show save for the main event and a decent tag match. The rest of this though was TERRIBLE, with some flat out disgusting moments that went nowhere at all. Austin bailed sometime between Saturday and Monday and honestly….can you blame him? Earlier today we saw him urinate on Arn Anderson and we saw Tommy Dreamer, Undertaker and Jeff Hardy involved with a bucket of vomit. Also, who is the second biggest face on Raw? RVD? I guess so and that’s ok for the most part, but does that make the third biggest Bubba Ray Dudley?

The show was in such a total mess around this point and that wouldn’t be corrected for the better part of two years until we got to Benoit and Guerrero as champions and even they were basically a six month stop gap until Cena and Batista (more Batista at first) really came along to help them get things back to normal. Austin leaving didn’t send them into a tailspin. It just took away the only safety mechanism they had left, and that’s ok by me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2001
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re two weeks away from Survivor Series and we have most of the teams set for the Winner Take All match. Angle jumped ship last week to further WWF-ize the Alliance roster. The WWF is in chaos right now and the main event tonight is Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title because the person that holds that title is really going to help the WWF in their war right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Test and Booker T beating Jericho and Rock for the tag titles, taking away the only reason they had to not kill each other.

We actually hear about Rebellion, the British PPV, where Rock and Jericho got in yet ANOTHER fight.

Here’s Vince to open the show of course. He immediately makes Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title later tonight so we’re automatically off to a better start than most of his promos. He wants them to beat each other up once and for all so that they can concentrate on Survivor Series. On to more important things though, as Vince says that at Survivor Series, someone is going to jump to the WWF. Apparently it’s going to be Austin. Well they certainly took the swerve out of that swerve pretty quickly.

Cue Austin who tells Vince to shut up. He didn’t believe Vince when he started and then he heard the name Steve Austin. Austin said what and wondered who Vince thought he was. He doesn’t like Vince implying that he’s jumping ship back to the WWF. Earlier Vince said he had to be Vince McMahon so Austin says he has to be himself and Stuns Vince. Austin leaves and Vince is smiling a lot.

Back from a break and the Alliance glares at Austin who says he’s not turning his back on them.

Ivory vs. Lita

It has to be better than Stacy’s match last week. Another good pop for Lita too. Ivory jumps her during the posing and takes over quickly. Legdrop gets two and Ivory stomps away some more. Lita comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Ivory sends her into the buckle and hits a bad bulldog for the same result. This is really dull so far. Flapjack gets two for Ivory. I think Lita starts her comeback with a headscissors and leg sweep for two. Lita hits perhaps the worst clothesline I’ve ever seen as Matt and Lance Storm come out. After they do nothing of note, Ivory hits an X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? The girls were almost wrestling in slow motion and the crowd was DEAD. That clothesline was so bad that it made some of the ones I’ve seen NFL guys use that were better. Hardy and Storm didn’t add anything and the match was just bad. It’s probably the worst Lita match I’ve ever seen.

Shane comes in to see Austin and Austin doesn’t like having to defend himself against accusations. Shane thinks someone is jumping ship at the PPV and he thinks he knows who that is. Angle comes in and Shane looks at him, prompting Angle to say that he doesn’t think Austin will jump. Kurt asks Austin if he has his back against Undertaker tonight. Austin wants to know where the hat Austin gave him is. Steve doesn’t like it but he has Kurt’s back tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge challenged Test last night on Heat for some reason. He jumps Test on the floor to start and they head back inside for a lot of punches from both guys. Edge tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Test takes over again. After a suplex Test chokes away with the boot in the corner but walks into a spear out of nowhere. Both guys are down and it’s Edge up first.

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was about as good as a five and a half minute match with practically no story (Test cost Edge a match last week apparently) was going to be. That’s beside the point though. At this point in WWF, there were three midcard titles (IC, US and Euro), two world titles, two tag titles, a hardcore title and two lightweight titles.

This change means nothing because Edge would just pick up the US Title a week later and unify the two midcard ones at the PPV. These title changes don’t mean anything as Edge had only held the belt 13 days so it’s not like this was the end of a long reign or something. At the end of the day, so what if Test is IC Champion? He would lose it in two weeks anyway. Oh and he’s a double champion now too.

Speaking of pointless title changes, Christian won the European Title from Bradshaw. Yeah he was European Champion for like a week. Christian defends against Hurricane tonight so here’s reporter Gregory Helms who wants to know how Christian can be considered the greatest European Champion ever when he hasn’t faced Hurricane. Helms says you might not like Hurricane when he’s angry.

Vince has an ice pack on his neck when Rock comes in. Rock wants to know what’s up with that (sorry, had Hurricane on my mind) Austin thing earlier. Vince should bring Austin back because Rock has been waiting.

European Title: Christian vs. Hurricane

So is Hurricane WWF now? Did I miss something? Christian wears a Diamondbacks jersey to rub in the World Series loss to the New York crowd. Apparently Christian won the title back on Smackdown in a dark match. See how crowded this company was around this point? Christian jumps him to start as the fans chant for the Yankees.

He pounds away and hooks an abdominal stretch but Hurricane arm drags out of it. Hurricane puts the cape on and hits the cross body for two. Christian throws him over the top but the challenger lands on his feet. Superkick gets two for Hurricane. Eye of the Hurricane is countered and the Unprettier ends this. Short and nothing.

Ad for the WWF on the Weakest Link, which was a quiz show back in the early 2000s.

Regal addresses the Alliance and says Austin won’t defect. Booker thinks RVD is going to defect so Regal makes a match between them later on.

Angle is getting ready when Stephanie comes up to him. She says she trusts him and they share a look. This would go nowhere.

US Title: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Taker jumps him on the floor to start and drops some elbows for two. He takes him down in an attempt at an armbar but Angle gets to the ropes. Taker does the wristlock lift followed by a modified short arm scissors. Old School puts Angle down again but Kurt goes for the legs. He rams it into the apron a few times as Taker is being chopped down. The announcers are talking about Austin of course because the match is good, and that’s not something we can talk about.

Back in and a chop block puts Taker down. If I remember right this is around the time that Angle made Kane tap so the idea of Taker tapping isn’t that insane. Ankle lock goes on but Taker kicks away very quickly. A suplex gets two on Taker and it’s off to a front facelock. Taker is like screw this and picks Angle up for a chokeslam. He lifts the bad leg which helps a bit. Angle pops back up because the move didn’t have the same snap to it which is fine. Ankle lock goes on for a good while until Taker reverses into one of his own….and here’s Austin for the DQ.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one with Taker actually selling and the thinking being there with stuff like the lifting of the leg. The ending was about as obvious as you could get given what was said earlier, but at least the match was good up to that point. This is one of the better TV matches in a good while on this show.

Angry Angle says Austin is loyal to the Alliance (man there’s a lot of alliteration tonight). Cole suggests that what Austin just did is the same thing Angle would do to remove suspicion. Angle has to think about that one.

APA/Jacqueline vs. Dudley Boys/Stacy Keibler

This is a tables match. The Dudleys bring out the table with Stacy laying on it in a nice touch. Bradshaw and D-Von start us off because you have to tag in a match that only ends with people going through tables. The girls come in and after some cheating, Jackie gets stomped on. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw breaks up What’s Up on Farrooq before hitting a fallaway slam off the top to D-Von.

The APA brings in a table but Bubba breaks up Bradshaw’s superplex attempt on D-Von. Bubba’s powerbomb doesn’t work as Farrooq moves the table. Jackie hits Bubba low and D-Von takes the Clothesline from Bradshaw. Bubba sets up another table but has to stop to deal with Jackie. Farrooq hits the spinebuster to put Bubba through the table for the win.

Rating: D. What in the world did this match exist for? Was there a story to it that just wasn’t worth talking about? Wasn’t Bradshaw a singles champion last week at this time? Either way the match didn’t go anywhere because no one cared about it and the girls didn’t add anything either. This was pure, uninteresting filler and nothing more.

Rock says Jericho won the big one once, so let’s see you do it again tonight.

The new team of Billy and Chuck is at WWF New York.

Wrestlemania tickets went on sale this past weekend.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Regal is on commentary for some reason. Booker takes him down almost immediately but Van Dam gets a knockdown of his own. Spinwheel kick gets two for RVD, who is defending if that isn’t clear. Van Dam’s top rope kick puts Booker down and Rolling Thunder gets two. Tajiri comes out to beat up Regal but Booker goes out to make the save. Regal gets up and powerbombs Tajiri on the floor as Big Show comes in to clean house. The referee rings the bell and throws out the HARDCORE match. See why this whole period is considered such a mess?

Jericho says he was born on Long Island which doesn’t get much of a reaction at all. He’ll win tonight.

Desire video.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending here. He slaps Rock to start and knocks him into the corner. Rock comes back with a jumping clothesline but Jericho takes him right back down again. A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock. Jericho comes back again with a middle rope dropkick for two. Rock Bottom is countered as are the Walls. Jericho dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out. This has been very back and forth so far.

Rock gets dropped on the barricade but Jericho gets crotched coming back in. A superplex brings the champion back in but it only gets two. They slug it out and Rock clotheslines him down for two. A Jericho DDT puts both guys down and Jericho hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A backbreaker puts Rock down and Jericho chops away. The champ tries a dropkick but gets caught in the Sharpshooter.

Jericho makes the rope but walks into the spinebuster. The People’s Elbow gets loaded up but Jericho moves out of the way. Rock takes a Rock Bottom from Jericho but it only gets two. Jericho throws him to the floor and then into the steps for good measure. The champ loads up the announce table and hits the Breakdown through said table, with Rock’s head being a good six inches away from contact.

Rock is bleeding a bit as Jericho takes off the buckle pad. For some reason the referee never counted at all. Back in and Jericho sends him into the exposed buckle which doesn’t even put Rock down onto the mat. There are the Walls and after a good awhile Rock makes the rope. Jericho goes for the hold again and gets rolled up for the pin and the title for the Rock.

Rating: B. This was good but it was the abridged version of their match at No Mercy, which was much better by a few thousand miles. Jericho losing here doesn’t really make a lot of sense as he could hold the title over Rock but now there’s almost nothing at all that he can brag about. That would be somewhat resolved post match but I don’t get the idea here for the most part.

Jericho blasts Rock with a chair shot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was almost all about building to the PPV which is a good idea, but when the build isn’t that good it doesn’t really mean much. I’d also like to point out that we’re 13 days away from the PPV and we have one match announced. The idea is supposed to be that Austin is going to jump but there isn’t much you can do to build to that before Survivor Series. This was a better show than lately but it still was nothing great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

With Survivor Series only a few weeks away, we really have no idea what to expect from the show. None of the matches have been announced, the kind of match that the Winner Take All match is totally unclear, and we have no idea who is going to be in it. We practically have to fill in some blanks by the end of the night. Then again there’s a good chance the WWF didn’t know anything about the PPV at this point either. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince bringing out the WWF roster. Vince talks about how the Alliance will die at Survivor Series, but there’s something else to get to first. On Smackdown, Shane held Linda’s arms back while Stephanie slapped her. Tonight in the street fight, Vince will teach Shane some respect. Vince introduces Team WWF for the ten man elimination tag team match. Well we have some details now. Vince brings Undertaker, Kane, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho and The Rock.

Cue Stephanie who shows us a video from Smackdown where Linda got slapped by Stephanie, apparently into unconsciousness. Stephanie says that if they’ll do that to their mom, what are they going to do to Vince and the WWF at Survivor Series? She dedicates the street fight tonight to Linda. Cue Shane, with Stephanie dancing to his music. There’s something creepy about that. Shane says someone from Team WWF is defecting to the Alliance tonight.

Post break Shane and Stephanie are excited about someone turning tonight. Even Regal and Debra don’t know who it is.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is Hardcore Champion but here’s challenging here. Feeling out process to start and Edge this his flapjack to take over. The monkey flip is countered by the Canadian but he walks into the stepover kick. JR calls Edge Test for some reason and we go to the outside. Van Dam hits the Five Star off the apron but he can’t get Edge back in to cover. Back in and Edge gets in a clothesline followed by a backdrop.

Spinwheel kick takes Van Dam down but one from RVD takes Edge down in turn. Split legged moonsault hits knees and they trade near falls on some rollups. Van Dam channels his inner HBK with a superkick and Rolling Thunder gets two. Edge-O-Matic gets the same and we’re almost at a standstill. Van Dam rolls into the corner but gets speared down for two. The Five Star hits knees and the Edgecution gets the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This was fine. Edge was a rising star at this point and a clean win over a guy that was a bigger deal than he was at this point was only going to help him. That’s what you call a rub from Van Dam and it’s something that we could use more of in today’s product. This worked pretty well all things considered and if I remember right they would have better matches in the future.

Austin laughs at Van Dam losing when Taz comes in and wants to know who the jumper is. He gets why Debra doesn’t know but why not Taz? Austin implies Taz speaks Spanish and throws him out. Taz came off like a clueless schmuck here. He leaves and Austin still won’t tell Debra.

The APA says they’re going to beat up the jumper tonight. Saturn is playing Go Fish too. Teddy comes in and says Jericho has called a meeting of the WWF guys which the APA isn’t happy with.

Molly Holly/Hurricane vs. Torrie Wilson/Tajiri

Torrie is looking extra curvy tonight. The guys start us off and Tajiri takes over. Molly gets spun around too but Hurricane gets in a shot to Tajiri’s head to take over. Tajiri escapes a suplex but the high kick misses. Eye of the Hurricane is countered and there’s a hard kick to Hurricane’s face. The girls come in and Torrie shows off her “skills”. She stumbles through a handspring elbow and slaps Hurricane, only to get clotheslined down. Tarantula to Hurricane but Molly rolls up Torrie for the pin. Next.

We go to the meeting and Jericho is complaining about working in WCW in ECW. He isn’t about to stand around while the company gets screwed and wants to know who is going to screw the company. Rock pops up and Jericho makes fun of him for being late. Rock wants to know who Jericho thinks he is to call a meeting.

Jericho says he became the leader of the WWF when he beat Rock for the WCW Title. Does that sound as stupid to anyone else as it does to me? Rock says he was winning big ones when Jericho was losing to Juventud Guerrera on Nitro. Rock is the WWF and no one here is stupid enough to jump ship, other than maybe Jericho. The meeting is adjourned. Rock came off like a total jerk here which is the whole point of the feud. Good stuff here.

There was a Smack Down Your Vote rally today.

Austin criticizes the meeting when Regal comes in. Regal gets sent away but Austin tells him to send Angle here.

Jericho yells at the Brothers of Destruction so Taker yells at him. Jericho implies Kane is the one jumping.

Here’s DDP for a chat. JR makes fun of his teeth which isn’t really funny. Page says he has a surprise for us: he knows who is jumping. Apparently it can be anyone in the WWF, not just on Team WWF. Page says it’s Big Show and insults him a lot for some reason. Here’s Big Show with a chokeslam for Page. Can we PLEASE get Page an opponent not seven feet tall?

Angle comes in to see Vince about the meeting with Austin tonight. Kurt has no idea what Austin wants and then goes into a rant against Vince when Vince looks at him strangely. Vince gives him a 2×4 to take with him.

WWF Tag Titles: Booker T/Test vs. The Rock/Chris Jericho

Rock comes out last which is interesting. He starts with Booker and a Samoan Drop gets two. Off to Jericho who chops away and hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Booker comes back with a kind of Alabama Slam and it’s off to Test. The power guy takes over and pounds away in the corner before hitting a suplex for two. Off to a quick chinlock followed by a full nelson slam for two.

Book comes back in again and hits a slam for two. Jericho hits a kind of enziguri to break up the devastating slam based offense. The unhot tag brings in Rock who cleans house. He suplexes Booker and punches Test, but accidentally hits the tiny Canadian. Spinebuster looks to set up the Elbow but Jericho jumps Rock from behind.

Jericho hits him with the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) but breaks up the count from Test. Test takes a Breakdown and now Chris wants the tag. Rock tags him and hits the Rock Bottom on the WCW Champion. He breaks up the pin by Test (Heyman: “WILL SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE UP THEIR MIND???”) and everything breaks down. Booker accidentally kicks Test’s head off and the Walls make Test tap.

Rating: C+. This was far more about drama and story building than the wrestling and that’s ok. Jericho vs. Rock was a huge feud and was completely awesome with both guys hitting on all cylinders. Rock continues to come off as a total jerk and Jericho continues to have the title, signifying that he beat Rock for the big one. Good stuff here.

Angle goes into Austin’s locker room with the 2×4 pulled back. Austin isn’t looking for a fight and offers Angle a spot in the Alliance right now. Angle: “What?” Angle asks who is joining the Alliance tonight and thinks it’s Rock. Austin won’t tell him who is jumping and only tells him good luck. Angle turns him down.

Rock is mad and Cole makes him madder by pointing out what Angle just implied. Rock goes a Kurt-Hunting.

Lita vs. Stacy Keibler

I could look at Dudley Stacy all day. Lita hits a quick side slam for two but Stacy comes back with her bad kicks. Snap suplex gets two for Lita and she throws Stacy to the floor, possibly resulting in an ankle injury. Lita dives at Stacy but hits the barricade. Matt comes out to put her back in and Stacy slaps him. Matt pulls back a right hand but elbows Lita in the process. That gets two for Stacy and a quick Twist of Fate gets the pin.

Lita yells at Matt post match and walks away from him.

Rock comes in and yells at Angle. He implies Kurt might be turning but Angle denies it, citing permission from Vince. Angle says it’s not him but Rock doesn’t seem convinced.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and plugs his new children’s book. He agreed to make Jericho/Rock defend the titles in exchange for the Brothers getting a title match against the Dudleys.

My Sacrifice video. For those of you that don’t remember, My Sacrifice is a Creed song that was used for the WWF’s Desire campaign. What’s the Desire campaign you ask? No idea, but we saw it every five minutes at this point.

US Title: Kurt Angle vs. William Regal

This should be good. Angle is defending and Regal jumps him as he’s posing in the corner. Angle comes back with a series of clotheslines to take it to the floor. Back in and Angle backdrops him for two. Regal comes back with the knee trembler and a chinlock. Kurt tries a crossbody but Regal crotches him to counter. The champion comes back with some suplexes before picking the ankle for the submission.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as you would expect more from Regal vs. Angle. The match was basically filler but it wasn’t a bad match or anything. Regal would keep doing nothing for a few months before doing nothing for years. Angle would stay in the main event for like ever and unfortunately these two never had a big match.

Vince comes in to see Taker but Taker yells at him for thinking Taker or Kane are jumping. Kane comes in and Vince gets caught between them. Vince says good luck but Taker says he doesn’t need it, which is the same thing Angle said earlier.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Undertaker/Kane

The Dudleys are defending. Kane and D-Von get us going and the big man slugs him down very quickly. A side slam brings in Taker who beats up both Dudleys with ease. Ray low bridges the Dead Man and sends him into the steps to give the Dudleys control. Ray clotheslines him down back inside and brings in D-Von again.

Kane gets drilled so there’s no Fried Freak for Undertaker to tag. Taker kicks Ray down and it’s a double tag to D-Von and Kane. Everything breaks down and Kane chokeslams D-Von. Stacy slips Bubba a belt which takes Kane’s head off for two. Taker loads up Old School but Bubba sends Kane into the ropes to crotch Undertaker. 3D pins Kane to keep the titles in Dudleyville.

Rating: D+. These matches continue to kind of suck, which is a running theme for both this and the 1998 series. I think the ending here is supposed to go along with the idea of someone jumping as I guess Kane and Taker didn’t get along here but it wasn’t really that bad. Can we just look at Stacy more please?

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight. Shane meets him on the floor and Vince pounds him down onto the apron to start. Vince hits him with some sort of sign and sends Shane knees first into the steps. He chokes Shane with a cord and sends him inside. Vince throws in some garbage cans as Paul talks about Linda being an abusive mother. Shane comes back with a bad low blow and a series of garbage can lid shots.

Shane puts the garbage can on Vince’s chest and tries a Shooting Star but only hits can. You can’t say the guy didn’t try different stuff in the ring. Vince fires off some kendo stick shots and clotheslines Shane out to the floor. Vince loads up the announce table but Shane comes back with a monitor shot to the face. Unlike at Wrestlemania, this time the elbow puts Vince through the table in a great looking crash.

Everyone is down now as JR does his traditional panicking over a big move. Shane gets up first and tries to drag Vince back into the ring as his dad is dead weight. That only gets two and the fans aren’t all that thrilled by the kickout. Shane loads up the Coast to Coast but Vince throws the can into Shane on the way across the ring. Booker and Test run in to beat Vince down but the Brothers come in to even things out.

Test and Kane kick each other down and Booker takes the Last Ride. Regal takes out Taker but Rock beats him down. Austin comes out and Stuns Rock until Angle comes down with a chair….and hits the incoming Jericho. He hits every WWF guy and it’s Angle that is jumping. A horribly botched Stunner from Austin lets Shane get the pin.

Rating: C-. Obviously the match wasn’t the point here and it’s hard to grade the match after the parade of run-ins began. The ending worked pretty well with Angle being a nice surprise for the turn (kind of) and a good way to end the show. The match was a far cry from Wrestlemania’s version, but Freedom Hall is a far cry from the Astrodome.

The Alliance celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a very hard one to grade. The wrestling was just ok but there was some good drama with the mystery of who was jumping going on. That being said, Angle turning doesn’t really mean much. At the end of the day he’s another WWF mercenary being brought in to try to legitimize the Alliance which doesn’t work in the slightest. It’s a good shock moment but when that’s all you have, the show is going to suffer, which is what wound up happening.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 1998
Location: Kohl Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 10,220
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re another step closer to Survivor Sereis here and hopefully for Vince his month of terror ends. At the moment Austin is still fired so odds are we’re going to get some updates on his career options tonight. Also there’s a chance we’re going to get some of the brackets for the tournament at the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince and company to start and there’s a band setup in front of the Tron. Austin is here apparently and Vince holds him responsible for everything that happened last week. Vince doesn’t like the people and wants to know where they were when Austin was doing all this stuff last week. My guess would be they were here in Madison while Austin and Vince were in Milwaukee but maybe I’m missing something.

Vince goes over the stuff he was made to do last week, including ruining a perfectly good Armani suit. He’ll never forgive Austin for what happened last week. As for the letter that Austin gave him last week, it was a legal document. Austin better take stock of himself before he goes further. Austin pops up on screen and says Vince should take stock in adult diapers.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Steve Blackman

Apparently Chyna has taken a leave of absence from the company until her legal issues with Henry are over. The match is after a break and as we come back, Vince is telling his guys to look into the document that Austin gave him last week. He wants it broken. Blackman kicks Pac down to start and hits a side slam to put him down even longer. Off to the chinlock followed by a flying clothesline by Blackman. This has been a squash so far. Steve Regal comes out for no apparent reason and beats down X-Pac. The Outlaws come out and it’s a big brawl. The match is thrown out and was too short to rate, but it was nothing of note.

Vince is talking to his lawyers again and says they wrote the document so they can break it.

Cole is outside Austin’s locker room and we’ll hear from Austin after the next match.

Darren Drozdov vs. The Rock

I don’t see this being incredibly competitive. Rock is officially in the tournament. He takes Droz into the corner and pops him in the face to take over. Rock and those sideburns are so over it’s unreal. Droz armdrags him down and puts on an armbar, which has to be the highlight of his wrestling career. Sunset flip gets two for Drozdov until Rock realizes he’s The Rock and he’s facing Darren Drozdov. A low blow puts Droz down and they slug it out a bit. A powerslam gets two on Rock but a middle rope shoulder misses. Rock Bottom, Elbow, done.

Rating: D+. See, this is what you NEVER get anymore. This was a match for Rock to get on TV and get a win over a guy that has no business beating him. This doesn’t hurt Droz because he doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t lose anything by getting beaten up by Rock. Also, Droz got in some offense so it wasn’t even a squash. Can you imagine Cena doing this with say Titus O’Neal? Of course not.

Hawk gets left behind again.

Austin has been advised not to say anything tonight. “We” will have a statement later on though.

Vince’s meeting is over. Vince doesn’t get something apparently.

Here are the Outlaws for the celebrity appearance of the week. The band equipment was for Motley Crue who the Outlaws and Pac will perform with. They perform and that’s about it. The only wrestling related thing here is a bodyguard they have named Test.

Vince yells some more, talking about a contract and opportunities.

Kane vs. Gangrel

Kane is in the tournament also. Christian is at ringside and it doesn’t really mean much at all. Kane runs him over and is apparently popular now. Christian’s interference doesn’t do much good as Kane hits the top rope clothesline and the chokeslam gets the pin. Total squash.

Christian dives off the top at Kane but it only staggers him. He and Gangrel can’t do anything to slow Kane down but Edge makes it 3-1 and they get him down. Kane sits up and the group that would become known as the Brood runs.

Cole tells us that after the break, we’ll hear from the McMahon Family.

Here’s Austin who doesn’t know why Vince is so mad at him. He told the cops that the gun was a toy and he told Vince that there wouldn’t be any pain. Austin told Vince he wouldn’t feel anything and he didn’t, so maybe Vince should believe Austin when he says something. Or maybe he shouldn’t. Austin pulls out a paper which he says is a new contract, which guarantees him at least one world title shot. The only way he’s leaving is if he quits, and that isn’t happening.

Here’s Vince with his cronies who yells at Austin and says that Austin is in a match tonight whether he likes it or not. Austin points out what the fans are chanting at Vince which ticks Vince off even more. Vince closes his eyes and hates the way Austin got his contract, however that was. He talks about driving a wedge between something….and here’s Shane in the ring. Vince has no idea what’s going on but Austin hands Shane a mic and seems calm with it.

Shane says he doesn’t listen to Vince anymore and that he’s a stockholder in this company. He hired Austin back to get Vince’s attention. Shane goes into a huge rant about how nothing he ever did was good enough for Vince. It was always about Vince and how to get his ego stroked. Shane was always called Vince’s Boy instead of Shane and he’s sick of it. Shane is a man now and he’s no longer Vince’s Boy. Vince and Shane are both about to cry so Patterson hugs Vince. This was a big moment as this was more or less Shane’s national debut other than being a commentator on Heat.

Post break Shane is leaving and Austin throws him a beer.

Tiger Ali Singh vs. Godfather

Godfather runs him over to start and Singh runs to the floor. He sends Godfather into the barricade but gets his leg sent into the apron. This is much more a fight than a match. Back in and Singh works on the arm a bit but Godfather clotheslines him down. The move that would become the Ho Train hits Singh and but he comes back with a bulldog for one. Godfather dumps him to the floor and Babu gets shoved down. The referee goes down too and it’s thrown out.

Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get what they saw in Singh. The guy just wasn’t anything interesting at all and he was around for a few years. He’s the Million Dollar Man but the Indian version, which isn’t something I care to see at all. This was much more of a brawl than a match which is probably the best thing they could do here.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is an eight man tag with the Oddities being the ICP teaming with Kurrgan/Golga. Golga starts with I think Funaki, who is blonde here. Teioh comes in and gets crushed along with Funaki in the corner. Taka comes in as well and all three of them combine to get Golga down. Togo joins his partners and all four drop elbows on Golga before it’s off to Kurrgan. Violent J comes in and pounds on Funaki as the embarrassing part of the match begins. Everything breaks down and the Clowns double team Funaki and throw the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. The crowd popped for the Clowns but they always got on my nerves. They’re fine when they’re doing their JCP thing which is basically a big joke on the idea of wrestling, but when they’re taking up time on Raw to have fun imitating wrestlers, it gets annoying. The match was short though so it wasn’t that terrible.

Shamrock talks about his I Quit match tonight against Austin. He says he quits, and that’s the last time you’ll hear him say that tonight.

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Goldust takes him down with a clothesline to start and pounds away in the corner. He hits a slingshot belly to back suplex for two but Mero gets in a low blow while Jackie offers a distraction. Goldust comes back and hits Shattered Dreams for the quick DQ. Not much here.

Post match here’s Sable to talk to Jackie even more. There’s a challenge for Survivor Series and I guess Jackie accepts.

Mankind is confident that he and Snow can win the titles tonight. They argue over whose prop is dumber.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Mankind is in the tournament as well. Snow starts with Gunn and gets press slammed for his troubles. Off to Mankind who waves as he comes in. Road Dogg comes in with a wide variety of punches followed by the shaky knee drop. Snow cheats and I think dances on the apron. After a brief beating on the floor by Snow, Roadie gets sent back into the ring for Mankind’s Shake Rattle and Roll. It’s as ugly as you could imagine it as.

Double arm DDT looks to set up Socko but Billy breaks it up. The challengers fight over Head but no one swings it. Billy and Mankind go to the floor as Snow hits the Snow Plow on Dogg. The challengers argue over whether to use Socko or Head for the pin and it lets Roadie roll Snow up to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match in a long running series of them over the last two weeks. The ending was the usual swerve as one team was dominating and the other wound up winning on a fluke. Then again that could be the case for almost every Outlaws match for a long stretch of time.

Post match Henry and D’Lo run in to beat up the Outlaws.

Snow has Socko and Mankind has Head until they trade back.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Austin

This is an I Quit match, so if Austin loses he’s done. Shamrock is in the Tournament too, giving us four of the sixteen entrants. Austin doesn’t have his wrist tape which is a nice touch as he wouldn’t be ready to go here tonight. Shamrock jumps Austin as he gets off the ropes to take over quickly. Austin fights back and finally gets the vest off. Shamrock gets dumped to the floor and it’s time to fight.

Ken gets rammed into the announce table and choked by a cord as Lawler is freaking out. Shamrock comes back and they go into the crowd. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ramp with Shamrock still in control. Back inside and Austin is in trouble, being sent into the corner. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken. There’s the Thesz Press but Brisco trips up Austin and gets beaten up for his efforts. Cue Mankind with the Claw on Shamrock and Austin adds a big chair shot to the head, giving Austin the win by knockout.

Rating: D+. These matches continue to be really dull. The I Quit aspect here was just a way to have Austin seem like he was in danger but it never got close to that at all. Like I’ve been saying with the majority of the matches lately from this time period: there’s not enough here to get me interested and the in ring stuff isn’t working at all for the most part.

The Stooges all get Stunners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. These shows are suffering from the same problems they’ve been suffering from all year: when Austin and Vince aren’t on the screen, things aren’t all that interesting. Rock is still a work in progress and HHH is out with a knee injury. Other than that, there isn’t much going on here and it makes things less interesting to watch. The matches are just bad on top of that, with Russo being at his peak of insanity and bad endings. This would be the peak that would be made to look like 1986 AWA within a year of course but we’ll get to that later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 19, 1998
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 12,157
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Judgment Day and we’re about to start the build up to Survivor Series. Last night Austin screwed over both Undertaker and Kane in the main event, resulting in his firing to end the PPV last night. So in other words Vince has gotten the final win over Austin and the war is over isn’t it? I’m sure we’ll never see Austin again right? It’s such a great and peaceful world on Monday Night Raw anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a big celebration in the ring complete with jovial music, confetti and the whole roster being brought down to the ring. Here’s Vince in his wheelchair to say that he has an announcement about the WWF Championship. We have no champion right now so on the night of the Survivor Series, there’s going to be a new champion due to a sixteen man one night tournament.

As for last night, Austin was fired and we get a still of his face last night. Apparently Austin muttered something about hunting season, which Vince interprets as him hunting for a job. If Austin EVER wants to come into an arena again, he has to buy a ticket. Firing Austin last night felt better than sex. No one in the ring is bigger than Vince so they’ll never cross the boss right? The Austin 3:16 stuff is now a collector’s item because it’s all about McMahon 3:16. As Vince is about to leave, we get a shot of Austin in what looks like the parking lot with a gun.

Back from a break and Vince sends Bossman to get his family to get them out of town. The Stooges stay with him and Vince wants the cameraman here to document everything. Austin is seen in the back polishing his rifle.

X-Pac vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is the IC Champion and Pac is European Champion but this is non-title. DX hung out with Motley Crue earlier today. Shamrock jumps him to start and kicks him down almost immediately. A kind of snap Jackhammer gets two as we cut to Vince who wants additional security. Shamrock cranks on a front facelock and here come two rent-a-cops. They take Chyna out and cuff her while reading her her rights. I believe this is called an arrest.

Thankfully Shamrock was smart enough to have a hold on while that was going on so the angle didn’t distract from the match. Once they’re gone Pac comes back with some kicks bu charges into a powerslam for two. The Bronco Buster is broken up and there’s the belly to belly. There’s the standing rana from Shamrock but here comes Mankind. Ken pulls him into the ring but gets caught in the Mandible Claw. Shamrock suplexes his way out of it but walks into the X Factor for the pin.

Rating: C. The best word to describe this match is eventful. There was a lot going on here and the match was probably the least important of those things. Shamrock would continue his heel turn soon after this which would probably be the right move for him. The match was really just a backdrop for the other events.

Chyna is taken away in a cop car when two security goons spot Austin. They ask him to get out of the truck and look at his gun. Austin signs an autograph for the guards’ kids and they leave him alone.

Vince panics and sends the cop with the attack dog after him. Cop: “I didn’t come here to risk my life. Screw you.” Brisco goes to find out what’s going on. This is hilarious.

Headbangers vs. Darren Drozdov/Animal

The Headbangers have foam title belts on and do the Outlaws’ intro. Animal and Mosh get us going with Animal getting in trouble quickly. He comes back with a powerslam for two as the announcers talk about the guard dog. Droz comes in and misses an elbow drop so the Headbangers double team him down. He comes back with a sitout powerbomb and everything breaks down. Hawk claps in support and Droz looks at him for some reason, allowing Thrasher to roll him up for the pin. That was all on Droz but Hawk gets the blame.

Patterson goes to get Vince coffee but Slaughter and Brisco go with him, leaving Vince alone.

Post break Mr. Socko and Foley come in to see Vince. Vince is very relieved to see him for once, but Foley says he wants to get to know Vince and have a sleepover. The look on Vince’s face is perfect.

Here’s Undertaker with Bearer which is a recent reunion. Taker says that Bearer has come home to lead his Ministry of Darkness. He doesn’t really give a reason for it but says you should just get it. Bearer is someone with vision and someone who understands the power of the darkness. We have the beginning of a new era now and there will be a plague unleashed on the WWF which will never be understood. Bearer says he used Kane because he’s weak and it started eight weeks ago. JR calls Bearer a rotund demon. Taker says he set the fire that burned Kane, so here’s the big fried freak himself.

Kane pushes out a casket and uses the voicebox to challenge Undertaker to a casket match tonight. Undertaker doesn’t say anything but Kane says that he’ll rest in peace. That was abrupt.

Foley thinks Vince should rehire Austin so Vince, Austin, Mankind and Socko can be the new Kliq. And now let’s play Twister! That’s enough to make Vince snap and he throws Foley out.

Steve Blackman vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is more famous as the WWF debut of Debra McMichael as Jarrett’s new manager. They start fast and we’re told that we’ll have the casket match tonight. Jarrett takes him down quickly and goes up but gets slammed down for two. Blackman misses a kick and Jarrett hits a neckbreaker to take Blackman down for two. A DDT gets no cover but Jarrett jumps into a kick to the ribs. A bicycle kick puts Jarrett down and here’s the Blue Blazer to jump Blackman and drawing the DQ.

Al Snow tries to make the save but Head is distracted by Debra, allowing Jarrett to hit Snow with the guitar.

The phone in Vince’s room rings but he isn’t sure whether he should answer it. Thankfully the phone is mic’d up so we can hear Austin saying he’s coming for Vince.

Back from a break and Vince is on the phone with his limo driver. The driver doesn’t see Austin so he must be in the building. Vince is going to try to make a fast getaway but has to look around every door. He can see the limo but Austin is on the other side of it. Vince tries to get away but Austin tells him to freeze. Austin wheels him back into the arena while carrying a hunting bow and arrow. Vince screams for mercy so Austin rams the bad ankle into walls. Austin: “I used to work at a hospital.” They go into Vince’s office and the door is shut.

Back and Austin is interrogating Vince about whether he’s ever gone hunting before. Vince says he’s been on a safari once but he only took pictures. Austin asks if the knife he has could kill an elephant.

The Rock vs. D’Lo Brown

Rock has some weird techno remix of his music here which didn’t last long at all. We hear that the Nation is officially split as Rock takes over quickly. A swinging neckbreaker gets a big pop but no cover. Henry gets on the apron allowing Rock to hit Brown low. Brown makes a quick comeback but gets run over by a clothesline. Henry cheats a bit and Brown takes over again. Rock comes back with a DDT for two and it’s People’s Elbow time, but the chest protector prevents the pain. Brown jumps into the Rock Bottom though and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Rock was clearly about to become a HUGE deal and they needed to do this quick feud to clarify that the Nation was done. Rock would be in the tournament at Survivor Series which was certainly where he belonged. The match was nothing of note but it got Rock on TV and that was the important idea.

Henry beats up Rock post match and hits him with the splash.

Austin asks Vince if he wants to know how sharp the knife is. Vince doesn’t say anything so Austin jumps to his feet to scare McMahon again. Austin says he’s having a swell time but he’s going to take Vince tonight. Vince says Austin will never get away with this which Austin seems annoyed by.

Here’s Tiger Ali Singh to be disgusting again. He talks about all of the gross stuff Americans eat and Babu is grilling sausages. Singh says he’ll pay $500 to anyone that can swallow a kielbasa. A chick comes in to swallow it but here’s Godfather who is now a pimp. Apparently the woman used to be one of his ho’s so she isn’t eligible, because she’s a professional. Godfather and Singh brawl and are pulled apart.

Austin shoots arrows at a poster and Vince is forced to look at it up close. Austin makes him hum the Deliverance theme and wants Vince to squeal like a pig. Vince LOUDLY oinks and we take a break.

Back with Austin talking about the movie Misery. Vince has a board between his legs just like in the movie. Austin tapes Vince’s mouth shut and then to the chair. He’s going to find a hammer.

Mankind vs. Val Venis

Goldust kicked Val in the balls last night so Val’s grinding doesn’t work that well. Mankind shoulders him down to start and we get a crisscross. Val’s groin messes up on him though so we have to settle for a headlock. Venis hits his following knees into a Russian legsweep for two. The idea here is that Val can only do so much without hurting himself even further. He tries a running hip attack while Foley is in 619 position but injures himself again. The double arm DDT sets up Socko but here’s Shamrock to hit Mankind in the knee with a chair. Val falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was about Val Venis’ groin. You figure out why I didn’t like it.

Mankind beats up Shamrock post match. They fight into the crowd and Mankind hits him with a chair. Goldust pops up on the screen and tells Val that it isn’t over. Terri whispers something to Val and he panics and leaves her in the ring. I think you know where this is going.

Austin says this isn’t about physical pain but rather getting back at him for last night’s humiliation. Vince isn’t going to feel a thing. Now Austin wants to watch TV. He asks if Vince remembers the show You Bet Your Life. Vince gets to pick either Undertaker or Kane in the upcoming match. Vince picks Kane, so Austin says if Kane wins it’s the easy way, but if it’s any other outcome, it’s the hard way which is the Austin way. That’s a call back to the promo that started this feud.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Casket match remember. It’s a brawl to start with Taker hitting the jumping clothesline for a cover before remembering what kind of match this is. A running DDT puts Kane down and they both sit up. Kane gets knocked into the casket but he pulls Taker in with him. Taker DDTs Kane down into the casket but the lid is shut with both of them inside. They fight inside of the casket and break the thing apart. Both guys get out and Kane goes after Bearer. Kane chases him off but Taker pops him in the back with a chair. We’ll call this a no contest somewhere in here.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was but it certainly plays into the final segment of the show. The ending sucked bad though because the whole thing was like four minutes long. There was nothing here but it would only get a lot more complicated very soon, which would dominate 1999.

Austin wheels Vince to the ring while Vince is crying for mercy. After awhile of JR and Jerry talking, here they come. Vince starts to cry so we see a clip from earlier in the night where Vince talked about how the Austin merchandise would become collector’s items. Austin gives Vince a letter to read, saying it’s going to tick the devil himself off. He pulls out a gun and Vince’s eyes are crossing. Again, WHERE IS SECURITY? Austin pulls the trigger and a paper comes out saying BANG 3:16. Vince wets himself and gets Stunned twice to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those shows that’s all about drama and storytelling and all that stuff. The wrestling here meant nothing but that was a very common occurrence back then. The Vince/Austin stuff is one of their more famous moments and would of course result in Austin being rehired very soon. I wouldn’t call this show good, but it was certainly entertaining which is the big idea at this point, especially when it was Warrior vs. Hogan over on Nitro at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re a little bit after Unforgiven 2008 here and I have no idea why we’re watching this show. This was requested a few months ago and now that I finally get around to it, I have no idea why it’s on my list. Anyway, HHH is world champion and is facing MVP in a match which may be for the title in the main event. Other than that nothing jumps off the page at me on the card. Let’s get to it.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Vickie and Big Show are in the back and Show says he’ll win the title. Eve comes in and says she wants to wrestle, so we look at Taker getting beaten up at Unforgiven. Ok then.

Some people are at a bar in Nashville which is across the street from the arena.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Festus is more famous as Luke Gallows but he’s something close to a pretzel here. Braddock was there for about five minutes and means nothing at all. The idea of Festus is that he stays in a stupor until the bell rings when he’s unstoppable. He and his friend Jesse are part of a moving company who are moving things to another network. There’s the bell and down goes Braddock. Braddock avoids a charge and dropkicks Festus into the corner. Braddock hooks a chinlock but Festus wakes up and massacres Braddock until the movers tape Braddock up with duct tape and bubble wrap for the DQ.

Post break Braddock is carried away. Cute idea but it’s pretty stupid when it goes on this long.

Show and Vickie are in the back and Vickie is going to make Undertaker apologize tonight. Show says he’ll knock Taker out. We see Show’s heel turn from Unforgiven again.

Shelton Benjamin pops up and says he’s the gold standard. He makes fun of R-Truth for being an ex-con. This gold standard idea was death for Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Shelton is US Champion but this is non-title. Truth only debuted two weeks before this. Shelton takes him to the mat but Truth makes the rope. The spinning forearm puts Shelton down and Truth stomps away in the corner. Shelton gets in a single shot but Truth will have none of it, hitting a side kick for two. Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder but doesn’t cover.

There’s a backbreaker and Shelton bends Truth over his knee to stay on it. He whips Truth into the corner before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Truth comes back with some right hands and they botch a drop toehold. Back to the chinlock which is turned into a sleeper, but Truth comes back with a jawbreaker. Shelton tries a German but gets victory rolled into the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Gregory Helms pops up during Truth’s exit, saying the price of gold just went down.

Here’s Jeff Hardy for a chat. He says that he’s been here on and off for ten years and he’s the charismatic enigma. Jeff says he’s confident and comfortable in his own skin and he hopes the fans respect that. HHH has motivated him and at No Mercy, Jeff isn’t going to grab the brass ring. He’s going to grab the WWE Championship. As for Vladimir Kozlov…I guess he’ll have to wait because here’s Brian Kendrick. He says Jeff is forgetting about him so Jeff makes fun of Kendrick for awhile. Kendrick makes fun of Hardy’s drug issues which is the height of irony. Jeff says let’s go.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff whacks Kendrick in the face to start and pounds away in the corner. Jeff loads up a powerbomb or something like it but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jeff in a half crab but Hardy makes the rope. Kendrick easily snapmares Jeff back down and we hit the same hold again. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and a sitout gordbuster for two. Kendrick gets in a boot to the face and tries Sliced Bread but gets countered into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and it had two pretty exciting guys in it. Kendrick went south fast after Unforgiven so this was just another part in that process. Hardy would move on to much bigger and better things of course. Horribly uninteresting match though.

Kozlov pops up on stage and kicks Jeff’s head off.

Vickie is having a new TV installed when Show comes in to say Undertaker is here. Vickie makes the cameraman imitate Undertaker and say that he’s sorry. And never mind as it’s Chavo in a costume. This was so stupid.

We see the Undertaker attack video again.

Time for Carlito’s Cabana with Primo in there along with the host. We have some mic issues as we can hear what’s being said but apparently the live audience can’t. It’s quickly fixed and the guest is Primo. Ok then. Primo says his first win last week was easy and the two of them will win the tag titles soon. After a brief argument over who the host of the show is, here are Hawkins and Ryder, the tag champions. Helms pops up again and makes fun of their names.

The champs say Primo is a joke so Primo asks who these guys are. Ryder: “Bro are you serious? You know it!” Carlito finds it funny that Hawkins and Ryder are champions and wants a title match right now. The champs say no because they used to be part of La Familia. Primo: “YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH TOO!” Primo talks in Spanish and apparently he swears a lot as Carlito freaks out.

Ryder says the title match is next week and steals Carlito’s line. Carlito asks for someone to pack up the set so here come Jesse and Festus. The champs jump Carlito and Primo, but Primo sneaks out and rings the bell. Festus snaps and cleans house, chasing away the champs with a palm tree.

Maria is drawing something in the back when Brie Bella pops up. She compliments Maria’s art and says she’s heard Maria designs outfits in her spare time. Brie asks for a second when Victoria and Natalya come in to make fun of the other chicks. Natalya and Victoria accuse Brie of having a crush on Horny before saying there’s a handicap match next week and ripping up Eve’s drawings. I have no idea what I just saw.

Scotty Goldman (Colt Cabana) makes fun of Khali and Singh, including with a Singh puppet.

Scotty Goldman vs. Great Khali

Total massacre, Punjabi Plunge, about 90 seconds.

Khali vs. Kozlov next week.

Raw ReBound is Jericho retaining the world title in a cage match over Punk. Jericho later said that it should be JBL vs. Batista with the winner facing Jericho later. Instead Jericho will defend against Shawn at the PPV in a ladder match.

Chavo throws out Hawkins/Bam Neely/Ryder so he (and we) can watch Taker getting beaten down for the 6^th time tonight. Taker pops up on screen and Chavo gets grabbed by the arm of an otherwise unseen Undertaker.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start and MVP grabs a headlock to get things going. A hiptoss puts HHH down and MVP poses a lot. HHH finally takes MVP down and crotch chops him to tick him off as we take a break. Back as HHH hooks a headlock on the mat but MVP grabs the arm to take over again. Apparently MVP worked over the arm during the break. Works for me. The armbar stays on for a LONG time as MVP keeps control. I mean it’s on for a good three minutes or so.

MVP finally mixes things up with a DDT on the arm for two. He loads up the big boot in the corner but HHH comes out of the corner with a jumping knee to the face. A neckbreaker puts MVP down but HHH charges into a boot in the corner. That means nothing though as HHH spinebusts him down and out to the floor. HHH follows him out and sends MVP into the table but MVP gets in a shot to the arm. They head back in and MVP comes off the top, but he dives into the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful but DANG that middle part was weak. It just kept going and then it meant nothing a few moments later. MVP never quite got over that hump into the main event but he was pretty solid at this point. This match though was basically just something for HHH to do for a few minutes before he got to Hardy at the PPV. Weak main event to a bad show.

Post match here’s Kozlov to stare down HHH. MVP gets in a shot to the Game and Kozlov takes over. HHH comes back with a facebuster but walks into the headbutt to the chest to drop him. Kozlov stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t want to see the PPV and it feels like it should be Kozlov vs. HHH instead of Hardy getting the shot. Other than the main event which was ok at best, everyone was sluggish and nothing was interesting at all. Terrible show.

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