Monday Night Raw
Date: October 5, 1998
Location: Breslin Arena, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 9,846
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another week closer to Judgment Day and we have two Raws left before we get there. Tonight we’ll likely hear more about the main event for the PPV which is Austin refereeing Taker vs. Kane for the vacant world title. You know that’s going to rival a Thesz vs. Gotch classic for basic wrestling skills of course. Anyway there isn’t much else announced for that show so let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Taker and Kane breaking Vince’s leg/ankle last week.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

Pac is defending and he’s coming out before JR can even welcome us to the show. Brown charges right into a spin kick but he comes back with a powerslam. Legdrop hits Pac and a leg lariat gets two. Off to the chinlock and Brown yells at the crowd. He always was good at that. Someone serves Chyna with papers and Henry is smiling.

The champ fights out of the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. His elbow misses and Brown hits one of his own off the middle rope for two. Side slam gets the same. The Low Down misses and it’s slugout time. Pac speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster, but Henry trips him up and rams Pac’s back into the post. That and the Low Down gives us a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it was more about building up the DX problems as Chyna didn’t help Pac out for no apparent reason. Brown would hold onto the title for awhile until the title fell into obscurity. You know, as in more than it already was at this point. I’ve always been a fan of Brown’s work so I can’t complain much here. Decent opener.

Vince is in a hospital bed and complaining about getting the wrong kind of juice. OH IT’S THIS SHOW!!!

The Oddities played football earlier today.

Here are the Headbangers who apparently aren’t scheduled right now. They call out the Insane Clown Posse and I can easily see why I’ve never heard them cut a promo before. The Oddities come out but the Headbangers want the Clowns.

Headbangers vs. Insane Clown Posse

Please make it short. The Oddities have to go to the back and the Clowns come in. I’m not sure if this is an official match or not. Shaggy takes a flapjack and it’s a double suplex for Jay. There’s no tagging so far at all. There’s a Super Bomb for Shaggy and Thrasher gets a chair. The Clowns get laid out with chairs and it’s a big beatdown until the Oddities make the save.

We see Austin looking for Vince last night with an ax in his hand. He took over the production truck and hacked the feed to Vince’s hospital. I mean that literally.

Austin had a metal CD. Ok then.

We get a clip from last week with the Zamboni attack and the announcement of the PPV main event. Vince called the Brothers handicapped (one physical and the other mental) and Taker threatened them. Vince flipped them off and the Brothers destroyed his leg.

We go to Vince’s hospital room and the nurse says he has a large visitor. Vince says no visitors and it’s Mankind. Vince’s heart rate monitor beeping in time with his panicking is great. Mankind gives him candy and balloons and has a visitor. It’s female entertainment. “She does a trick with a dog that you won’t believe.” It’s Yurple the Clown. Vince being given stickers and balloon animals is great. Foley says he has another visitor and it’s….MR. SOCKO!!! Vince finally snaps and throws them out.

Sable joins in on commentary.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

Sable says she wants the Women’s Title which would come soon enough. The whole Vince is Sable’s Boss thing is pretty much forgotten at this point. Vader pounds away on him and they head to the floor where Mero hides behind Jackie. Back in and Vader runs Mero over, sending him right back to the floor. After a Jackie eye rake it’s back to the ring and Mero takes over with his usual stuff. Vader beats him down again and a splash gets two. Jackie dives onto Vader and gets caught, but a Mero low blow and the Marvelocity (Shooting Star) gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Mero was only there as a surrogate for Jackie and Sable. That would tend to be the case for awhile as Mero never really meant much after this. This was also Vader’s last match on Raw which is kind of pitiful but he was so far past his prime in WWF that it never quite clicked.

Jackie gets on the mic post match because I haven’t suffered enough so far. She challenges Sable who gets in, but Mero distracts her so Jackie can jump her. Jackie cuts Sable’s hair.

William Regal makes his own orange juice.

Edge vs. Owen Hart

We hear about Edge’s younger brother, which is a new revelation. His name is Christian. Owen comes out in street clothes. Last night he tried to walk out on a match with X-Pac but got rolled up anyway. He’s distraught because of the injury to Severn last week. He says he’s sorry but he can’t wrestle tonight. Owen walks out and it’s a forfeit.

Post break Owen says it’s over and he’s done before leaving the arena.

Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

See, THIS is something you don’t get today. These guys have very different styles and it’s cool to see them clash. Today almost everyone but two people have the same style so you can plug in anyone. It’s something that really is missing today. Shamrock is on the verge of turning heel but he’s still a tweener here. He uses his speed advantage and fires off some strikes to take over early.

Shamrock goes for the leg but gets caught in a powerslam when trying a cross body. A dropkick staggers the big man but his rana is caught in a powerbomb. Kane chokes him down and chokes on the mat before a powerslam gets two. Off to a chinlock which Shamrock fights out of but here’s Undertaker to watch. Shamrock fires off a bunch of stuff but it takes the rana to put Kane down. Not that it matters as Kane is up to his feet first. Kane goes up top but Undertaker gets up and crotches him, allowing a belly to belly superplex to give Shamrock the pin.

Rating: C-. Like I said the conflicting styles were a nice touch here. That’s something you NEVER get anymore. We don’t have many power monsters and even fewer MMA style guys, so it’s nice to see something like this. Think about it: how many people work the same exact style today and how uninteresting does it get after awhile?

Val Venis finds Terri’s wedding ring. Guess where it was.

Val Venis vs. Gangrel

Val talks about Magic Johnson before the match. He starts fast with a powerslam and some knees to the ribs followed by the bump and grind. JR takes a shot at WCW by saying this is action and not two 45 year olds on the microphone. Val hits a big boot and here comes Edge. He gets in Christian’s face but Gangrel runs out to DDT Edge on the floor. They stomp Edge and the match is thrown out. Oh ok Val wins by countout. That makes sense.

Val and Terri make out in the ring but a movie usher shows up. He hands Val a gold envelope, the contents of which freak Val out. Cue Goldust’s music and the man himself on the screen. Goldust’s world premiere is next week apparently.

We get a clip from last night of Austin yelling at Shane on Heat.

Vince is in the hospital and wants another nurse and something for his pain.

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

They go to the mat and it’s a nice technical exhibition to start. Snow is like screw that and catches him with the trapping headbutts. He knocks Jarrett to the floor and grabs a chair but Jeff knocks him down. Slaughter comes out here, demanding the Head from the referee. Snow hits a kind of Air Sabu move against the barricade but as Al goes after Slaughter, Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. Back in the ring Snow hits an enziguri to come back and goes up but Slaughter crotches him for the DQ. Fun while it lasted but this was about Slaughter vs. Snow, which isn’t interesting at all.

Road Dogg vs. Mark Henry

There’s no Billy here so Roadie brings in a blowup doll. Lawler gets the papers that Chyna was served earlier and it’s a sexual harassment by Henry. Road Dogg takes over to start and hits the shaky knee for two. He walks into what would become known as the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the advantage. Brown trips up Dogg and a legdrop to the back of the head half kills him. Chyna comes out and drills Brown, allowing Pac to kick Henry low and hit an X Factor for Dogg to get the pin. Another short match.

Henry chases after DX with a chair post match.

Vince is in the hospital and wants more juice.

We go to McMahon for an interview but he isn’t ready, so we look at Austin’s Zamboni stuff from last week again. We get the attack on Vince as well.

Vince is getting hit blood pressure taken when Austin, dressed as a doctor, jumps him. Austin pounds on his broken ankle, hits him with a bedpan, and zaps him with the cardiac paddles. To end it he anally rapes Vince with an IV. To quote Punk: “SECURITY AROUND HERE SUCKS!”

The Rock vs. The Undertaker

They have a lot of time for the main event here. Rock is on fire and this is one of his biggest matches to date. He’s still listed as part of the Nation here but it’s really just in name only at this point. Taker immediately jumps him and the fight starts fast. The jumping clothesline puts Rock down again as it’s been all Taker so far. Out to the floor and Rock reverses a whip into the steps.

Here comes Kane to watch the match ala Undertaker in Kane’s match earlier. The distraction alows for a powerslam from Taker to stop Rock cold again. Henry and Brown come out but get glared away by Kane. Taker starts in on the arm and here’s School. Off to the chinlock which is quickly broken by a belly to back suplex. Rock gets thrown to the floor and the beating is on in the aisle.

This has still been almost all Undertaker and it continues to be as he slams Rock into the steps. Back into the ring and Rock’s comeback is easily stopped by a right hand. Sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Rock. Again he fires off punches but Taker easily clotheslines him down for two. Rock grabs an O’Connor Roll for two and a clothesline for the same. Big boot takes Rock down for another near fall.

Taker loads up Old School again but since you can’t hit the same match twice in a match, Rock arm drags him down. JR declares Rock the #1 contender for some reason. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for the Not Yet Great One. Tombstone is escaped into a side Russian legsweep and the People’s Elbow connects. The referee gets crushed in the corner and everyone goes down. Time for Kane but Undertaker sits up. Kane kills Taker in the back with the chair and the Rock Bottom looks to finish but there’s no referee. Kane slides the chair in and a Tombstone onto said chair gets the pin.

Rating: B. These two don’t do that well on PPV together, but man they were cooking here. Rock was on fire at this point and more or less would stay on fire for the next two years or so. Seeing him get beaten down and then fight back time after time, including hitting a solid Rock Bottom, only to get screwed was a nice ending to a good match. That’s how you give someone a rub by the way.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re clearly running on all cylinders at this point and it’s clear that WCW having stuff like Warrior vs. Hogan is merely a band-aid trying to stop the tidal wave that is Raw. With Rock on the verge of being revealed as the Corporate Champion and Mankind’s rise up to the top of the company, this is going to get great and it’s going to do it in a hurry.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 16, 2009
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,538
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Roddy Piper

This was a request and I believe it’s because the show is in MSG which is the major focal point of the show. I remember watching this live and reading a comment that said the star of this show was the arena itself, which is something that went well. The main event is a triple threat tag with Jerishow, DX and Cena/Undertaker. I remember liking this show at the time so let’s get to it.

We open with Roddy Piper in the back. Apparently we’re doing the Pit back there tonight with actor….Luis Guzman. He was in Boogie Nights and Traffic. Ok then. Piper talks about his Guzman’s upcoming movie which has Mr. T. in it. Guzman says Mr. T. isn’t in the movie. Piper says of course he isn’t BECAUSE PIPER DESTROYED HIM. What is with Piper’s obsession with Mr. T.?

Piper says he has the Iron Chef here but it’s the Iron Sheik and the Bellas instead. Guzman mentions Hulk Hogan and Sheik erupts. And now Sheik has the old school WWF action figures. That’s it, but Piper and company say “Live from New York it’s Monday Night Raw!” Ok that was good.

This is the final Raw before Survivor Series apparently.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

Miz is champion. He asks why the fans hate him. They love the World Series Champions, the New York Yankees. Miz says they bought the Series and the fans boo him out of the building. Apparently Miz didn’t know who his opponent was coming into this. Sherri Shepherd is here and for some reason WWE still thinks most of its fans are impressed. They have the old school entrance with the curtain across from the cameras. I love that.

Miz has a quick advantage to start but MVP knocks him to the floor to take over. Back in….or never mind as MVP gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade. Back in for real this time and MVP hits a flapjack to start coming back again. Ballin Elbow looks to set up the Playmaker but Miz counters, only to get booted down for two. Miz hits a boot to the ribs in the corner and the Skull Crushing Finale finishes MVP.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it wasn’t anything of note. Miz would be on the rise very soon and would be world champion in just over a year. MVP was a guy I never got into for the most part and his face run was probably the least interesting time of his WWE stretch.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella

This feud went on for awhile. Good pop for Santino here. He comes out in a New York Rangers jersey which he removes to reveal a Giants jersey. Make that a Knicks jersey (booed as they were awful at this point), followed by a Jets jersey, a Mets jersey (mixed reaction), a Phillies jersey (Philadelphia team), and finally the World Champion New York Yankees. The first move comes 90 seconds in with Chavo hitting Three Amigos. Santino keeps rolling away from the Frog Splash and here’s Horny in DX gear (remember that) for a distraction. Santino gets the rollup pin. Funny stuff.

Here’s DX who sucks up to the MSG crowd. HHH is sad because they’re not allowed to schill their merchandise. Shawn: “That’s right. We can’t talk about our new book which is available at WWEshop.com.” Shawn throws a free copy to Sherri Shepard, because I guess she can’t afford it. Anyway we need to talk about the triple threat with Cena this Sunday for the title. Cena has been saying that DX is going to implode on Sunday but that isn’t going to happen.

It doesn’t matter which one wins the title because they’re a unit. Shawn says they’ll compete at Survivor Series, but they can’t be torn apart. That brings them to Hornswoggle for some reason. HHH calls him out because he doesn’t like that Horny is wearing DX gear. HHH says they might let him join so here he is. Horny runs around doing crotch chops but HHH says come over here. He asks if Horny (and New York) is ready. They set to do the catchphrase, but HHH Pedigrees Horny instead. This would eventually set up the Little People’s Court fiasco.

Horny goes out on a stretcher. I’m still not sure what the idea here was.

We get a REALLY cool video on the history of WWF in Madison Square Garden. We see every major moment other than one that I’m sure you know of. Find this as it’s really worth seeing.

Piper is in the back and sounds ridiculously drunk. Jericho comes up and they trade a few jabs. Jericho wants something special so Piper brings in Masters to do the Pec Dance. The Bellas come in and take him away.

A guy from 30 Rock who is World Champion of Everything is guest ring announcer for this.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Melina is champion and Alicia won some battle royal. Alicia says to announcer her as the next Divas Champion. He says no and it’s now a lumberjill match with the members of the Survivor Series teams as the girls on the floor. Melina does her Matrix move and gets sent to the floor where the heel chicks beat on her. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Fox. And never mind as a sunset bomb gets the pin for Melina.

Usual post match brawl ensues.

Here’s Piper in the ring to a fairly mild reaction. Oh MAN is he drunk. He rambles on and on about all of the legends he fought (Hogan and Andre get the biggest pops with Andre’s being bigger). Piper talks about wanting one more match with Vince and mentions being fired after doing an interview on Real Sports. Vince’s music hits and it’s EASILY the loudest pop of the night.

Vince makes fun of Roddy’s dyed hair and agrees that Piper has done some awful things here in the Garden. The worst of them all though was to show up here tonight though. Vince makes some old jokes about Piper and says that if he beat up Piper tonight, his father and grandfather would be embarrassed. Piper says nothing of note and this is going WAY too long.

Vince says he’s looked better than every superstar he’s ever gotten in the ring with but there’s no match tonight with Piper because Vince is retired from in ring action. Piper says he’s been in 7000 car crashes and 30 matches. “Switch those around.” He goes through all the stuff he’s survived and says he can beat Vince. Piper wants it tonight and this FINALLY ends. I have no idea what they were going for here.

Here’s Sheamus who has only been on Raw about a month at this point. We get a clip of him retiring Jamie Noble two weeks ago. He issues an open challenge for tonight and no one answers. Sheamus goes to the floor and kicks Jerry Lawler’s head off for no apparent reason. This never really went anywhere.

Things stop for awhile for Lawler to be taken out. Striker takes over on commentary and we run down the card for Sunday.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

This is joined in progress after a break. Swagger hit a wheelbarrow suplex to take over during the break. Apparently this is a rematch from last week or the week before. Bourne counters a suplex into a sweet rollup for two. After Bourne gets in a tiny bit of offense, Swagger hits a powerslam out of the corner and the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the pin. Basically a squash.

Here’s Piper in the ring for the fight with Vince. Instead he gets Orton who is all evil. Orton says if it’s a fight Piper wants, he can have it. Randy kicks him in the big gut so Piper punches him in the face. That’s about it for Piper’s offense and the beating begins. Orton loads up the Punt but has to stop because Kofi is late getting to the ring. Allegedly that right there is why Kofi’s push more or less stopped ice cold after this show.

Kofi comes out and destroys Randy who tries to run away. They go into the crowd and the beating is on. Orton takes over and they head back to the ring. Remember that this is just a big brawl segment, even though there’s a referee out there. Kofi avoids the Punt and pounds Randy down again.

They head back into the crowd and referees try to break it up which doesn’t work at all. Kofi is like screw that and takes Orton up into the tech area. He puts Orton on a table after a HUGE shot with some metal thing. Kofi goes up onto a wall and hits a HUGE Boom Drop through Orton and the table. This was AWESOME but because of that mistimed Punt to Piper, Kofi is now the tag champion partner specialist.

Cena, the champ at this point, says that history is about to be made in MSG again. Undertaker would be a great partner, but he’s kind of hard to talk to. Cena starts talking about the handicap match on Sunday for the title before being handed a note saying that it’s a triple threat match instead. Of course he’s ready in case HHH or Shawn wants to ask. For some reason he says it’s true that the Ghostbusters once saved this city from a giant marshmallow man. After Sunday, they better still be friends because they’ll need a shoulder to cry on.

Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. John Cena/Undertaker vs. D-Generation X

Cena is Raw Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown Champion, Jericho/Show are tag champions, and DX is there because they’re DX. Also Taker faces Jericho and Show in a triple threat match on Sunday for his title too. You can only tag your partner here. Oh and it’s WCW rules, meaning three people in the ring at once. Cena, Jericho and Shawn get us going. Jericho tags out almost immediately, as does Shawn. Cena makes it 3-3 so it’s HHH, Taker and Big Show.

HHH and Taker double team Show with Taker clotheslining him to the floor and kicking HHH’s head off. HHH takes Taker down with a spinebuster and tags off to Shawn, but Taker sits up before Shawn is on his feet. This is their first time in the ring together since Mania. Speaking of that match, Shawn tries to skin the cat but Taker catches him in Tombstone position. Big Show of course breaks it up because that’s what you do in triple threats instead of letting someone be knocked out.

Off to Jericho who tries the Lionsault but Shawn counters. Jericho counters the counter into the Walls but Taker grabs Jericho by the throat. Cena tags himself in to a loud boo and HHH comes in as well. John stares HHH down and it’s time for a slugout. Show breaks that up with a double chokeslam but here’s Taker to punch him down. Jericho comes in to try to steal a pin on Cena but it only gets two. Little stat: other than in a handicap match, Jericho has a total of one victory over Cena: in their first ever match.

Shawn comes back in and drills Jericho before hitting the top rope elbow for no cover. It’s pretty clear that this is less of a match and more of a way of throwing everyone in there at once to give the crowd a good time, which is fine. Cena loads up Shawn in the AA but HHH tags himself in. Jumping knee to the face and the spinebuster put Cena down but Show breaks up ANOTHER finisher. Shawn kicks his head off for his efforts but walks into a Codebreaker. Chokeslam to Jericho sets up the AA to HHH for the quick pin.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything of quality and it really wasn’t, but seeing these guys in the main event at Madison Square Garden is just cool. The reactions were great too, and it tied into the PPV also with all six guys in the two main events being here. What more can you ask for?

Undertaker tombstones Cena post match, which has yet to lead anywhere but it might be used to set up a Mania match in the future.

Overall Rating: B. This show definitely falls more into the category of fun rather than good. The wrestling is just ok, but for the most part this was all about the Garden rather than the show anyway, and that’s just fine. It’s holy ground for WWE and for them to pay tribute to it like this is nice to see. Not a great show or anything, but it was fun and it set up Survivor Series pretty well, which is the most important thing. Good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested.

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I’d assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it’s hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we’ll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It’ll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio’s head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it’s not going to matter at No Way Out because he can’t buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn’t Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you’re not the brightest.”

Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga’s head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

No trampoline and he’s in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn’t see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.

Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It’s the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.

Raw ReBound chronicles Show’s destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie’s intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He’s serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting verypopular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.

Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.

Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That’s just showing off.” Now he’s getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it’s White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and they did again here. The ending is good too as it furthers the Ziggler split from Vickie and company, but it also keeps Sheamus looking just as strong because he had Ziggler beaten without the interference going wrong. Little things like that can make a match so much better.

Punk says he’ll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

An inset promo says that O’Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it’s quickly off to Titus. Ryder comesin to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O’Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.

Post match here’s Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he’s been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.

We see Punk in the back but it’s actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.

Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd

Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.

Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane

They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn’t been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane’s knee out to send him into the middle buckle.

Punk wraps Kane’s arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here’s AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can’t follow up.

Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can’t hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it’s Punk going up.

AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She’s pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that’s not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: C+. For a TV main event this was fine. It’s pretty clear where they’re going for No Way Out so the ending here was fine. It sets up the likely triple threat title match at the PPV which needed to be done one way or another. They were going back and forth pretty well here and the arm work made sense from Punk. Pretty good little match here.

Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. Nothing was really bad on it and they had something big in the main event, which is what Smackdown needs. It’s basically a supplement to Raw anymore so throwing a big match into the main event is the right idea. The show wasn’t great but with nothing bad and a main event that had something on the line, this was about as good as Smackdown is going to get at this point.

Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a big night tonight as not only are we moving up to 8pm, but it’s also a live show. We’re opening with Roode vs. Sting because this is all about hot new acts like Sting. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything scheduled other than the Gut Check Challenge and the debut of Brooke Hogan. Oh joy. Let’s get to it.

We open with the lumberjacks at ringside and the champ is on first, along with Who.

Sting vs. Bobby Roode

This is non-title. Sting takes him down almost immediately and Roode is staggered. The champ pokes him in the eye but since this is Sting, it has no effect. Roode gets sent to the corner and kicked to the floor as the fans are into this for the most part. Sting kicks him back to the floor and again he gets thrown back in. The Splash misses and Sting is knocked to the floor where the heels get in some weak shots.

Back in and Sting comes back with a backdrop so Roode rolls back to the floor. Roode suckers him to the floor where the heels get in a better beatdown and the melee is about to begin. It doesn’t quite start yet as Roode is in control, taking Sting to the mat and dropping a knee for two. Another Stinger Splash is countered by a boot to the face. Roode sends him to the floor and Sting beats up some lumberjacks as we take a break.

Back with Roode in control and sending Sting to the floor again. Roode chops in the corner which fires Sting up as it has for 24 years. Stinger Splash hits and Roode bails to the floor. It looks to be a big brawl but Sting dives over the top and takes out most of the champ’s supporters. Back in the ring the Scorpion is countered into the Crossface but Sting is too close to the ropes. Fisherman’s Suplex is countered into the Death Drop and the Deathlock in the middle of the ring. Roode taps and Sting wins at 13:40. Apparently this was non-title like I thought.

Rating: C-. So uh….why in the world wouldn’t Hogan have made that a title match? He has every authority to, but for some reason he just didn’t. This gives Roode an opponent for the PPV I guess, and it’s Sting? Not Hardy, Angle or some group of people? I mean, didn’t we get Sting vs. Roode for the title like three months ago? Didn’t Roode beat him? Of course he did, so let’s do it again at the ten year anniversary show.

Hogan comes out post match and makes Sting vs. Roode for the title at Slammiversary.

Madison is straightening her sash in the back because she wants to look good for the guy that likes her. Oh and Brooke is going to be here later.

Here’s Bully Ray in the ring and he wants Joseph Park, who is in the crowd with a soda (label torn off) and popcorn. We get a clip from last week and Ray wants to fight Park right now in the ring. Park comes to the ring and stops. Ray calls all of Park’s family cowards, including Abyss, which draws Park over the railing. After Ray tells security to let him in, here’s Joseph to the ring.

Park kind of Hulks Up but backs off. He’s about to leave and Ray says he’s guilty of taking out Abyss. You know, the guy that popped up a few weeks ago and was fine. Park grabs Ray by the throat but Ray says he’ll sue. Park lets him go and says he’s better than this. Ray leaves and Park challenges him to a fight right now. Ray says at Slammiversary.

Video on Crimson’s undefeated streak. Crimson says he can’t be beaten.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Aries is getting ready in the back when Joe comes up. Aries doesn’t see Joe and nothing is said, so I’m assuming that’ll be a major plot point later. Sabin is in trunks again. Aries takes him down with an armdrag but misses a seated dropkick. Sabin goes to the apron but Aries counters the sunset flip into the previously failed seated dropkick, getting two. A slingshot hilo and an elbow drop gets two.

La Majistral gets two for Sabin as he takes over. Aries sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. That gets him nowhere other than in the Tree of Woe, but the hesitation dropkick misses. Missile dropkick by Aries puts Sabin in the corner but his dropkick misses and Sabin baseball slides him to the floor. A springboard dive takes the champ out and Sabin hits a slingshot suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Cradle Shock and Brsinbuster are countered. Cradle Shock is countered again into a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: B-. Man they packed a lot into under four minutes. Sabin as a singles guy is something that could work very easily and using Aries for something like this every once in awhile is fine. That being said, they need to make him a full time non-X guy soon, while the chance is still there. Match was pretty good though.

We see Hogan and Tazz from earlier, and apparently Tazz is replacing Flair in Gut Check.

The Gut Check guys look over Joey Ryan’s match from last week. It’s kind of interesting to see Tazz be all humble here when he’s the biggest star of these three. They talk about how Ryan looks different but Tazz questions how seriously he took his opportunity. Pritchard says he wasn’t blown away. This is in the back and yesterday by the way.

The four possible challengers for D-Von (RVD, Anderson, Hardy and Robbie E) are in the back. The fans get to vote for who they want to see get the show.

Here’s Dixie Carter. She says that at Slammiversary, we’ll announce the first ever TNA Hall of Fame inductee. She talks about the Knockouts needing a new leader and here’s Brooke in a little black dress. Brooke says thanks and that’s it. No mention of the AJ thing at all.

We go to Kaz and Daniels in the back who criticize Dixie’s speech, saying there was nothing about the real issue with AJ in there at all.

Moment #5 is Christian debuting.

TV Title; D-Von vs. ???

To the shock of no one with a total of 4 brain cells or more, it’s Jeff Hardy. D-Von gets some quick rollups for two and it’s a standoff. Jeff shrugs off D-Von’s offense and hits a clothesline in the corner. A charge misses in the corner and D-Von neckbreakers him down for two. Off to a nerve hold which Jeff easily breaks. Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton and here are the Robs for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much here as it was pretty clear they were just filling time. Jeff’s star has fallen pretty far that he’s just in the TV Title picture, although I don’t think this is going to be a long term thing. That being said, Robbie vs. D-Von is more played than a slot machine in Vegas. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but dang I do not want to see either Rob vs. D-Von ever again.

We go to James Storm’s farm where he talks about being from a small town and how he wouldn’t want it any other way. He likes hanging out with his daughter. He’s made a decision about coming back or not but cuts the camera off before he says it.

We recap the way too long Daniels/Kaz/AJ saga.

Now it’s time for Gut Check. The judges are Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz. Here’s Joey Ryan in gear for some reason. Ryan says the judges should be honored to be in the ring with him and that he’s trending on Twitter. Pritchard says no, Snow says yes, and Ryan gets to cut a promo before Tazz’s vote. The fans are chanting for him and Ryan says to listen to the fans. Tazz says that if that’s the best Ryan can do, he’s out of his mind. He gets in Ryan’s face and yells at him, saying no. Tazz says go out and prove yourself then come back. Right now it’s no though.

We get a clip of Roode in London and cutting a promo in front of Big Ben. Not much to say here.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is all ticked off here and rants a lot in between each move he hits. The dropkick puts Daniels down but he gets in a right hand to take over. AJ goes to the apron but Daniels’ suplex attempt back in is countered. He guillotines Styles and sends him into the barricade to put Styles in trouble. We take a break and come back with Daniels hitting a springboard moonsault for two.

AJ avoids a charge and takes Daniels down with some elbows. Flying forearm hits and both guys are down. Scratch that as AJ nips up and hits the moonsault into the DDT minus the DDT as Daniels counters. Daniels goes to the apron and gets Pele’d back inside. Kaz comes out and gets drilled, allowing AJ to hit the moonsault into the DDT for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C. These two know each other so well that they could have a match in their sleep, which is more or less what they did here. Nothing special to it or anything and Kaz didn’t add much. I do however like the match ending with something other than a finisher, which is a lost art in wrestling. Decent match and nothing more.

Post match AJ gets double teamed until Angle makes the save. He puts Kaz in the ankle lock but Daniels comes back to take him down. Angle gets tied to the ropes and AJ gets drilled with a title belt. Daniels tells the fans that they’re welcome, and now we’re going to get to see more proof of AJ and Dixie. He says they have proof from the mouths of the two of them. It’s a phone call of them talking with Dixie talking about AJ coming somewhere and him wanting to find out when her husband will be there. Nothing specifically is said but Dixie runs out and says cut it off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If this is supposed to get me fired up about the rest of the summer, it didn’t do a very good job. The show was just ok at best with nothing of note really happening. Sting vs. Roode doesn’t blow my skirt up at all and for what is supposed to be a major PPV, that doesn’t do much. Brooke came off as completely unwanted, which means we’ll see her every week. Four matches, two of which combined to run about 8 minutes, didn’t help either. It wasn’t horrible, but for what was supposed to be a big deal, this fell very flat.

Results
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT

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NXT
Date: May 30, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We’re hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That’s a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it’s up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It’s currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today’s show, nor last week’s show are currently on WWE.com’s NXT page.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos

It’s 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What’s Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I’m a TV company, I’d be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don’t even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.

Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it’s back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.

Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.

Jey escapes and it’s off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring until the ending where things picked up in a hurry. That being said, we’ve seen these two teams fight more times than I can remember, which makes this a little less interesting. Also having no story to it hurts things, but the match was perfectly fine. More Usos please.

Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She’s fought them both before and this is due to last week’s Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn’s hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull, but I’m digging this dueling submission story they’ve got going with Maxine and Kaitlyn. Also it’s amazing how far less unbearable the Divas are when they get some time to work out a match instead of hitting like three kicks, a missed charge and the finisher with a signature move thrown in. Imagine that: wrestling makes things better.

Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday’s show was about anyway.

Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG

Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don’t want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That’s cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it’s off to Curtis who takes over.

Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.

Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won’t like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it’s off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.

JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but it came and went. You had three good guys, you had three bad guys, you had twelve minutes, and the good guys won. It was pretty entertaining though and that’s really all you can ask for on NXT in this weird kind of limbo period they’re in at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. Like I said in the main event, you really can’t ask for more than about 45 minutes of entertaining matches from Superstars II anymore. Regal’s position as matchmaker is never mentioned anymore, the attacks in the back are never mentioned anymore, and the Hawkins/Reks being security is never mentioned anymore. I know I’m in the small minority here, but I kind of wanted to see where those things were going. I’ve spent a year on this already and I’d like to see some resolution to those stories. This was entertaining at least though.

Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG

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http://www.wwe.com/inside/randy-orton-suspended-for-60-days

This might be a good thing for him. he needs to freshen up a bit. This is his second violation.

Thoughts?

AWF Warriors of Wrestling
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Studio City, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mick Karch, Terry Taylor

Now here’s one I’d bet that most of you have never heard of. This is from the mid-90s and it’s an attempt at making a third national promotion. Their big stars: Bob Orton, Tito Santana, Greg Valentine. The twist is that it’s based on European rules, meaning there non-title matches consist of three four minute rounds. Title matches are twelve four minute rounds. That’s quite a jump isn’t it? There’s a judging aspect too if the time runs out. Anyway, this show was basically a compilation of shows taped the previous year. There are 18 episodes in total and I plan on doing a total of this one only. Let’s get to it.

Sgt. Slaughter opens us up and says we should choose the AWF.

The opening video features guys like Koko B. Ware and the Warlord, plus A LOT of Slaughter. Oh geez Nailz is here.

They have red white and blue ropes ala the old WWF.

Tony Atlas is on the show too. Oh what have I gotten myself into?

Tito Santana vs. Ultimate Destroyer

Destroyer is an average sized guy in a silver mask with a white t-shirt under a gray striped singlet. I’d hate to see the standard model Destroyer. Actually scratch that as the Destroyer was awesome. Tito comes out to generic rock music. The production values aren’t awful but they’re nothing great. Terry runs down the rules, but with the following exchange beforehand. Mick: “Tell us about the rules in case we’re not clear here Terry.” Terry: “I’d be glad to Mick and I’ll do it like turtle soup: I’ll make it snappy.” This show is 45 minutes long not counting commercials and I’m about to cry after 3.

A few more rules: touching the referee or throwing your opponent over the top is an automatic DQ. Also the referee has final judgment. The rules are simple enough. Destroyer takes him to the mat but Tito sits out and it’s a standoff. Tito takes him to the mat now and we get a rope break. Destroyer breaks out with an elbow to the face but Tito hooks an armdrag (called an aerial wingover by Terry for some reason) and an armbar.

Destroyer pops out with a headbut but walks into an atomic drop which sends Destroyer over the top. That’s not a DQ though because it wasn’t intentional. I’m having WCW flashbacks now. This isn’t helping my issues with the match so far. Tito works on another armbar but Destroyer sends him into the buckle and misses a splash. Tito dropkicks him down and that’s the end of round 1.

We stop for a minute between rounds and Destroyer wants more time. That’s about the extent of his heel tactics so far. Oh wait he rakes Tito’s eyes. That’s the ticket! Tito comes back but gets draped over the top rope. That gets Destroyer nowhere and Tito slams him a few times. Flying Burrito (forearm) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really bad choice for the opener. Flash back with me to 1987 and the first Survivor Series. The first match ever in the history of the Survivor Series was Team Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk and the final score before the end was 5-3. In that match we saw regular pins, a double countout, and a 3-1 beating. In other words, we got a great taste of what could happen with this concept. This match here on the TV show basically showed us that Tito could beat up Ultimate Destroyer, stop for a minute, then beat him up some more. Horrible choice for an opener.

Tito says this is about wrestling. He shakes his head a lot for some reason during the promo.

Billy Joe Eaton vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine has a manager named Rico Suave who is fat and mostly bald. Terry is the heel commentator I think. Billy works on the arm a bit but gets clotheslined down. Valentine works on the ribs a bit and Chris Adams pops up saying he’s in the AWF too. Eaton gets some shoulders into the ribs in the corner but Valentine takes him back down with ease. Elbow drop and Figure Four end the squash.

Sonny Rodgers vs. Tony Atlas

Rodgers jumps on Atlas to start and hits a double ax off the middle rope to put Atlas down. A few shots to the head put Atlas in trouble but Rodgers bounces off of him. Rodgers gets knocked to the floor and this show needs to end. Now. Put on a Matlock rerun or something, but get this show off the air. Sonny pokes him in the eye and dropkicks Atlas down for two with a power kickout.

Atlas Hulks Up (allegedly that was his push to have if not for Hogan) and destroys Sonny for a bit before hooking the bearhug…and the round runs out a big later. You know, BECAUSE WE NEED THIS TO CONTINUE! Johnny Gunn pops up to say that he’s here too and debuts next week. He’s Tom Brandi if you remember him. Gorilla press and splash finally end this.

Rating: D-. So far the only thing I can tell that the rounds add is making these boring matches last about a minute longer. There was nothing here for the most part with neither guy being interesting at all. The announcers were ripping on Sonny for poking eyes too much. This was really dull, much like the rest of this show.

The president of the company (and legit owner) explains the rules (apparently you have until TEN to break something. Either that or he misspoke) again. He promises touring is coming.

Rick Thunder vs. Nails

Oh geez it’s this guy. They even changed his name to the regular spelling. The idea here is that Nails doesn’t follow rules, making him probably the top heel in the company. He chokes Thunder in the corner a lot and we head to the floor. Nails throws a stool at Thunder and hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. This is the first character development and we’re about 80% done with the show.

Nails chokes him over the top rope post match.

Oliver Humperdink says that his tag team, Killer and Psycho, the Texas Hangmen (WHOA! They were featured on the show I did JUST before this. That’s weird) are here and awesome.

Ken McGuire vs. Sgt. Slaughter

McGuire is in pink trunks so you know he’s evil. Sheik Adnan Al-Kahassie is coming with someone to take out Slaughter. Sarge shrugs off a brief attack, hits the Slaughter Cannon and hooks the Cobra clutch for the quick win.

Slaughter says exactly what you would expect him to say.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bobby Bradley

Koko is in the High Energy attire and the fans chant Whomp There It Is. Koko shoves him down and dances a bit. He dropkicks Bradley down but Bradley comes back with very basic heel offense. Off to a chinlock for awhile but Koko comes back with a sleeper. Bradley escapes but the clock runs out in round 1 anyway. He jumps Koko between rounds and we hear from Mr. Hughes who says he’ll debut next week. Koko’s cross body misses and Bradley gets two. Ware goes up and hits an AWFUL looking missile dropkick for a close two. Ghostbuster gets the pin.

Rating: F. Koko looked old and fat here which is the exact opposite of what you’re looking for in a guy like him. Thankfully this show is almost over, because I don’t think I could take any more of this. The round system didn’t do anything here either as Bradley was out of the hold before the bell rang, so it didn’t mean anything.

Suave says he’s going to bring two more people here to take over. Valentine says he’s awesome and we’re done, thank goodness.

Overall Rating: F. I would usually try to come up with some catchy name or word for this, but this show was so boring that it drained the thinking out of me. The round system may sound interesting, but the problem is it doesn’t add or change anything. The matches are comprised of old guys that you knew at one point, but who now just look their age.

Also, most of these matches aren’t any good. The round idea just makes them last a minute longer which doesn’t make them interesting. The biggest problem though is the roster, as this is during the days of Nitro with a roster that would have been old in 1989. Nothing to see here and stay FAR away from this.

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USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: March 16, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

Back to Memphis here after that 9 straight PPV marathon I did. Lawler is the world champion again, having beaten Funk in the Mid-South Coliseum on Monday. That being said, he’s taking some time off due to injuries. The world title wasn’t as important in the USWA as it was something you would only see defended once in awhile. Lawler being gone though is a problem as he’s the center of the program by far. Let’s get to it.

After the opening sequence we’re ready to go.

Before we go to the opening match, here are Eric Embry and Tom Pritchard. Pritchard yells about injustice in the world title match. The refereeing cost Funk the title because Jackie Fargo wouldn’t pay attention. Pritchard insists that we see a clip from the match. This looks to be a pretty wild match with Funk throwing any weapon he can find at Lawler. Fargo is indeed pretty biased in his refereeing. It was a fast count at the end if nothing else. Fargo and Lawler cleared the ring of Funk, Embry and Pritchard.

Back in the arena and Tojo Yamamoto (old heel tag wrestler) is here too. Lawler comes out with his new title and says what you see is what you get, so I’m the champ. The Texas guys jump him until Eddie Gilbert makes the save. They get in the ring but the Texas Hangmen come in and beat down the Tennessee guys. Jarrett comes out with a stepladder for the real save.

Danny Davis/Brian Collins vs. Texas Hangmen

One of the Hangmen is named Killer and the other is Psycho, but their names are only on their ring jackets so during the match I have no idea who is who. Let’s say Psycho jumps Collins to start and it’s off to Killer quickly for some pounding. Powerslam kills Collins and it’s back to Psycho. The Hangmen double team Collins and hit a DDT followed by a neckbreker. A double ax/neckbreaker combo gets no cover and the beating continues. Killer hits a belly to belly but pulls Collins up at one. A double powerbomb results in the same. A double headbutt finally ends this.

Rating: D. The only thing I can say here is that of all the squashes I’ve ever seen, this was one of them. What else do you want me to say here at all?

The Hangmen say they’re taking over.

We hear about the show on Monday which has to be moved because of the NIT Basketball Tournament. The announcers explain the details of the show and we run down the card. The main event is a big eight man tag with the main event heels vs. the main event faces. Fargo and Funk are in it and I think you can figure out the other three on each team.

Funk says Lawler and Fargo ripped him off and he was robbed of his world title. He goes on a great rant about how Lawler and Fargo were in on it together and how this brings wrestling down into the sewer but he’s going into the sewer to battle for Texas. To really make it great, he forgets the name of one of his partners. The eight man tag is in a cage it seems. He wants the fans in the Coliseum (where the show won’t be held) to oink like the pigs they are.

Scorpion/Steve Austin vs. Eddie Gilbert/Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett and Austin get us going and Jeff speeds away to frustrate Austin. Austin complaining about a hair pull is amusing. Jeff controls with some armdrags and it’s off to Gilbert for a wristlock. Scorpion, a big fat guy with a black mask, comes in and things slow down. Gilbert takes him down as well as this is a very slow match so far. He chokes away a bit but the fans are ok with it. Off to Jarrett sans tag but the fans are ok with the cheating here.

Gilbert goes for the mask to mess with Scorpion’s mind. After a trip to the floor to get it fixed it’s off to Jarrett again. The “good” guys keep cheating and the fans keep being totally ok with it. With the referee not looking, Gilbert hits the illegal piledriver and Jarrett’s missile dropkick gives them the pin. Austin and manager JC Ice left in the middle of the match it seems.

Rating: D. This was more about character development than a match which is ok, but it’s still pretty boring at the same time. This arm work stuff is really getting old and it makes the matches a lot less interesting than the storyline stuff. Jarrett would get better and a lot more entertaining, but it was long after he left Memphis.

Here are Lawler, Jarrett and Gilbert for a chat. Lawler talks about three appearances he’s doing today, one at a bowling alley for charity and two at hardware stores. He talks about how Eric Embry’s wife is so ugly that Embry took his wife to the dog races in West Memphis and 15 people tried to beg on her. Lawler talks about all the gold he and Jarrett have, which is almost every title in the company. Jarrett doesn’t say much and Gilbert blames the Texas guys for him not having a title.

Jackie Fargo says he’s done more in the Mid-South Coliseum than anyone and he’s coming back to prove that Tennessee is a lot tougher than Texas.

Chris Frazier/Billy Joe Travis vs. Eric Embry/Tom Pritchard

Pritchard and Travis get us going. This is strange as Travis was a heel in Texas and Embry was nearly a folk hero. Embry comes in as does Frazier and Texas takes over. Pritchard keeps running over to the commentary table to yell about how great Texas is. Pritchard hits a slingshot suplex and a top rope headbutt from Embry gets the pin. Total and complete squash.

House show ads.

We get a clip from a cage match between Embry and Gilbert where Gilbert was handcuffed to the cage. Eddie’s brother Doug came in but got beaten down as well. Doug took two spike piledrivers on the floor so he’s pretty much dead. The beating continues until Jackie Fargo comes in for the save, allowing Jarrett to get back up.

Embry and Pritchard aren’t worried about the match Monday. I’m not sure if it’s in a cage or not, despite what Funk said.

Monday show ad.

We get a clip from a show in Dallas where Danny Davis lost the Light Heavyweight Title to El Grande Pistolero. Pistolero cheated a lot and we’re told that he won. Ok then.

Sgt. O’Reilly vs. Bill Dundee

The announcers admit that this is going to be one sided. Dundee works on the arm after taking it to the mat with ease. Sleeper ends this quick.

Post match, Austin and JC Ice (Dundee’s son) come out and beat down Bill, with JC yelling about how his dad doesn’t have any friends. After the evil ones leave, a busted open Dundee yells about how he’s going to beat up Austin if that’s what it takes to get his son back, because he’s used to being the little guy fighting the bully.

Overall Rating: C+. This was decent enough but the Texas stuff could get old fast. Still though, it’s cool to have a big story like this. Lawler vs. Funk is fine and transitioning from that over to some other feuds with Lawler should work well. Pritchard and Embry leave a bit to be desired and Texas will need to actually win something if this is going to go long term, but it’s just started so there’s a lot of time. Decent but not great show this week.

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Back in the 1990s, I remember hearing about how Diesel became the third Triple Crown winner in WWF history. He joined Pedro Morales and Bret Hart as the only three men to do that. Each had something distinct about it: Morales did it first, Bret was the first to win each title twice, and Diesel won them all within a year (Diesel may have completed his before Bret got his second of each but it doesn’t really matter).

Morales got his in 1980 and Diesel in 1994. That means 3 men did this in about 15 years. In the 18 years since then, another 21 have gotten the Triple Crown. Just to give you an idea of how meaningless this is, Big Show completed the (official according to WWE) Triple Crown at Wrestlemania. He also completed another one in one year, as he won the World Title at TLC, and the tag titles with Kane a bit after Mania 27 (does ANYONE remember that reign?). Did you hear anything about it? No, because it doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Sign of the times.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2012
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn’t mean they put on a horrible show which they’ve been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.

The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.

Here’s Show to open things up. He says that while he’s a giant, he’s a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn’t have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.

Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that’s all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that’s it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.

Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.

Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it’s ok and that Riley won’t be his opponent. There’s a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger get things going and it’s off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.

Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it’s off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting more and more worthless. It’s obvious that Truth is there as a replacement for Bourne and that Kofi is there just to give him something to do. That translates to something very uninteresting, but then again the tag titles have had that distinction for years now.

Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he’s better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.

Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino’s face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it’s on.

Here’s Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it’s Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There’s something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE ’13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It’s going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.

Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he’s got Bryan tonight so there’s no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what’s coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.

During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn’t seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn’t work but Bryan’s high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.

Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I’m not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B-. I didn’t like this one as much but at least Punk didn’t lose clean. This felt more like they were just doing their signature moves for awhile until they got to the ending. AJ didn’t really add much, but her in an outfit like that is never a bad thing. Pretty good match here but nothing compared to the PPV one.

Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.

Christian vs. The Miz

Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it’s Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Miz is pretty firmly entrenched as the jobber to the stars here and that’s ok. Setting up Cody vs. Christian is fine but I’m hoping it leads to Cody moving up. He’s gotten the IC Title about as far as he could and there’s nothing left for him to do with it. The match was fine.

Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve’s coffer and she spits it on him because it’s cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It’s supposed to be cold. IT’S ICED COFFEE.”

After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn’t for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can’t get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that’s that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.

Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she’ll see what she can do.

We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.

Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.

We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

It’s 11pm so it’s time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That’s nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.

He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.

Overall Rating: D. The show was decent enough from a technical standpoint, but my goodness I do not care about Big Show and whatever his latest heel turn is about (yes I know what it is). It’s about as by the numbers as you could get and it couldn’t be clearer that they’re just dragging it through to the summer for whatever their big idea is there. I was sitting here tonight waiting on this show to end. That’s not a good thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick

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