The show is officially later tonight and as usual I can barely remember most of the card.I’ll go with Roode to retain.  It’s a filler main event, but I don’t see any reason for him to lose the title.

Anderson over Hardy.  I flipped a coin.
AJ to lose to Angle due to being all messed up.

Now I have to look at the list of matches because that’s all I can remember.

The Robs take the title somehow because this feud hasn’t gone on long enough.

I’ll take the tag champs to retain.  They’re facing Daniels/Kaz.  I don’t remember hearing about it either.

Tessmacher to take the title.

Finally I’ll go with Aries over Ray because of Abyss.

Overall the show is 100% filler, although it looks better than Victory Road, but that isn’t saying much.

Thoughts/Predictions?

Monday Nitro #75
Date: February 17, 1997
Location: Florida State Fairgrounds, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyzsko, Bobby Heenan

This is the go home show for SuperBrawl which came out of nowhere. This is probably the beginning of Piper on Alcatraz (don’t ask) and I’m sure more of the Horsemen being destroyed before our very eyes. Also I’m sure we’ll get Piper and Hogan talking a lot and expect to hear the words “biggest match EVER” quite a bit tonight. Let’s get to it.

The two NWO limos arrive to open the show. They walk in but realize that one of their members is down. They throw out the cameraman and we couldn’t tell who it was.

Rey Mysterio vs. Super Calo

Calo grabs the leg to take Rey down and puts on a chinlock. Rey comes back and speeds things up but springboards into a dropkick. Rey gets knocked to the apron and Calo tries a sunset bomb but Rey counters into a rana. Calo pops up onto the apron and hits a missile dropkick to the floor. We’re told that the Steiners are out of the fourway on Sunday because of a car wreck. Oh we’ll get to that in a minute.

We cut to the back and Bubba was the NWO member that was hurt and is being loaded into an ambulance. Back to the ring and Calo drapes the arm over the top rope. Rey comes back with something like a springboard Whisper in the Wind for two. Springboard guillotine legdrop gets two. Rey goes up but gets headscissored down. That goes nowhere as Rey knocks him down and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty good high flying match and that’s the right idea for an opener. Rey was in a different league than almost anyone else on the roster.  he was also almost as popular as anyone else on the roster, which is why it took him years to get away from the Cruiserweight division.  Makes sense right?

Hugh Morrus vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael runs him over a few times to start things off and the fans actually seem to like him. He yells something to Debra and gets run over for his efforts. Morrus grabs the ankle and works on the leg a bit. He keeps laughing at Debra which fits him pretty well I guess. He loads up the moonsault but Debra throws in the briefcase to Mongo. The moonsault hits the case and Morrus gets pinned as a result.

Rating: D-. Mongo just wasn’t that good. He was very slowly getting better but putting him in the Horsemen and then giving him the US Title just wasn’t a good idea. He would pretty much be the same guy for the rest of his career and I don’t think anyone really cared. Nothing to see here though as Debra was almost the focus of the match.

We get a video of a few weeks ago with Piper and his son getting humiliated by the NWO.

Dean Malenko vs. Robbie Brookside

Brookside is a somewhat famous British guy. Dean actually talks before the match, calling out Syxx on Sunday. The match starts and Tony explains to us about how Dean’s dad trained Syxx. My goodness an actual story! Dean takes him down and works on the arm. He tries some holds but Brookside keeps rolling out of them. Robbie hits a northern lights suplex for two. They go to the mat for a pinfall reversal sequence that results in a Dean suplex into a modified Cloverleaf for the quick tap out. Too short to rate but this was really fast paced.

Syxx comes out and says that the respect and gratitude he had for Dean’s dad died with Dean’s old man. He never liked Dean and Dean has been ducking him.

The NWO sneaks up on the announcers’ desk and talk about the car wreck the Steiners were in. You can’t pin that on them though and there’s a tape to prove it. Larry almost gets in a fight with them.

Public Enemy vs. Amazing French Canadians

Harlem Heat and the Faces of Fear are in the audience. We get a quick French national anthem and the brawl begins. The Canadians take over quickly and send Grunge to the floor where Parker stomps on him a bit. We officially start with Oullette vs. Grunge and the Canadians keep control early on. Off to a fast chinlock but Grunge gets up. He sends Oullette into Jacques but Oullette collides with Grunge. No tag to Rock but the Canadians miss the Cannonball. There’s the hot tag and Rock cleans house. Everything breaks down and Oullette is put through a table and pinned.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me at all. The whole ending was horrible looking as the table spot looked like it was about as planned out as you could ask for. The rest of the match was nothing of note. For the life of me I don’t get the appeal of the Canadians as a serious tag team. They would get back to WWF within a year.

DDP has no idea what happened to Bubba and doesn’t like being accused of it.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Prince Iaukea

Before the match Regal says that Rey reminds him of Dopey of the Seven Dwarves. Regal yells at a lot of fans before we get going. The Prince shoulder blocks him down and Regal isn’t sure what to do. The champ comes back with a European Uppercut and a release suplex. A butterfly superplex puts Iaukea down and Rey comes out to watch. Regal poses at him and the Prince rolls him up for the pin and the title in probably the biggest upset in Nitro history. Public Enemy and Teddy Long come out to celebrate for some reason.

Rating: D. The match sucked because it was so short. See, four days before this Raw had a special Thursday episode where their islander/Samoan Rocky Maivia beat their blueblood HHH for the IC Title in a shocking upset. Think that’s a coincidence? I know it might be but to me, that’s too close to be a stroke of luck. Iaukea would SUCK as champion for almost two months.

Hour #2 begins so we hit the recap button.

Nick Patrick vs. Randy Anderson

If Anderson wins, he gets his job back. Patrick trained to be a wrestler but blew out his knee so he became a referee instead, meaning he actually has an idea of what he’s doing. Apparently Anderson has an amateur background. He even gets fire as he comes to the ring. The regular referee checks for weapons and hands Anderson a foreign object. On camera of course so you know it’s going to be called out later. Randy hits him and wins in about 30 seconds.

Just as you knew would happen, Eric comes out and says no way. Anderson is still fired. I think the regular referee is done too.

Lee Marshall is in San Francisco.

Chris Benoit vs. Roadblock

Roadblock looks like Rhyno if he was about 9 inches taller and 200 pounds heavier. George Steinbrenner is here. Benoit goes right at him but Roadblock uses his size to take over. Woman slaps him and Roadie goes to the floor after her, allowing Benoit to hit a GREAT baseball slide. Benoit goes off on him and throws him back in. A boot to the face puts Roadblock down and the Swan Dive gets the pin. Basically a Benoit squash.

Now we get one of the dumbest moments in the history of professional wrestling. It’s the video that the Outsiders gave to Tony earlier. It’s from inside a car with Syxx manning the camera, Hall riding shotgun and Nash driving. They’re in a small town and see the Steiners at a gas station. They follow the Steiners’ car and bump into the back of it a few times before ramming into the side of it, causing it to FLIP OVER and crash. And remember, the NWO gave this tape to WCW to air ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

Even Tony Schiavone realizes that this is evidence of a criminal act.

Jimmy Hart, Jackie and Sullivan stop for a chat before their squash. Jimmy talks about how Jackie and Woman will be tired together on Sunday. Jackie has no issue hitting Woman. Sullivan thinks it’s perfect timing to have Jackie return right before this match. That’s a funny comment when you think about it. He makes more vague statements about leaving the neighborhood and says on Sunday, we’ll see who has more fire. Jackie says something and no one cares.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Doc Dean

Sullivan immediately runs Dean over and I don’t like Doc’s odds. He sends Dean to the floor so Jackie can beat him up. Dean grabs a small package out of nowhere for two. Jackie beats Dean up some more. There’s the Tree of Woe and the double stomp ends the massacre.

US Title: Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero

Power vs. speed to start and Konnan is sent to the floor. Konnan sends him into the barricade and takes over with a chinlock and low dropkick for two. Eddie comes back with a rana but gets launched over Konnan’s head, sending him face first into the buckle in a sick bump. Back to the chinlock, followed by a sitout powerbomb for two. There’s chinlock #4 and Eddie is in trouble. Now Konnan hooks a right armbar. Eddie comes back and hits a brainbuster and goes up for the Frog Splash. He shoves Konnan down and hits the Splash but the Faces of Fear run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with neither guy seeming to care much at all. The hot shot into the buckle looked GREAT but other than that there was nothing at all of note. When you have four chinlocks in a six minute match, you know things aren’t going well. Konnan could get lazy with the best of them.

Jericho, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, makes the save.

Here are the Horsemen for a chat. Flair calls Benoit a love machine. Anderson talks about how Bischoff is the boss but they’re still the Horsemen. If Randy Anderson needs $100,000, he’s welcome to it. Mongo continues to be confused about whether or not he’s a face or heel by making fun of the Buccaneers. Debra thinks Jackie can’t walk in pumps. Benoit is ready for Sullivan on Sunday. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The Giant vs. Johnny Swinger/Top Gun

What in the world are you expecting here? Both guys are chokeslammed and pinned in less than a minute.

Giant spraypaints the words Hall and Nash on the jobbers’ bodies. Luger comes out and has a doctor’s note but Bischoff comes out to say he’s a week late. Luger protests but that gets him nowhere.

We go to another insane moment in wrestling history. Roddy Piper has locked himself in a cell on Alcatraz (In the words of Road Dogg on Are You Serious: “Which apparently you can just do”) and is staying there for a week before the match. He says that he’s been dead inside for years because of Hogan (who he calls Mr. Spandex in a visual I really didn’t need). He talks about how Hogan needs the spotlight and how he (Piper) doesn’t weak a kilt in airports. Piper is going to stay in his cell for seven days to train for Hogan. To this day, I don’t think ANYONE knows what the point of this was.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Jericho

Debra comes out to watch of course. This is a technical match which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Jericho uses his mat stuff but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Jericho goes up and Debra begs him not to hurt Jeff. The distraction makes him miss coming off the top so Jeff hooks the Figure Four. Mongo hits him with the case and Jericho gets the pin. Seriously, did ANYONE care about Debra?

Here’s the NWO to close things out. Hogan is here and Bischoff does the talking. Hogan brags some but Sting and Savage appear on the stage. Bischoff sucks up to Hogan some more and Hulk brags about how he put Tampa on the map. Sting and Savage come to the ring and then turn around and leave. Hogan says he was going to beat up Piper tonight but Piper locked himself in a cell so that didn’t work. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was almost too stupid to be good. Between the Alcatraz thing and the televised attempted vehicular homicide, this show can only be so good. On top of that the wrestling was pretty subpar tonight. I guess we have something interesting in the Bubba attack which I actually don’t remember the reveal of, so that’s kind of fun for a change. Pretty weak show here but things would pick up soon.

Here’s SuperBrawl if you’re interested:

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Superbrawl 1997
Date: February 23, 1997
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 13,324
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

I had a request to do Uncensored 97 and since I have every show from Beach Blast 93 through Souled Out 97 and there’s one show in between Souled Out and Uncensored, I figured I’d do that one show (Superbrawl) and then Uncensored. Wow that was a long sentence. Anyway the main event here is Hogan vs. Piper for the title because for absolutely no apparent reason, Starrcade was non-title. Let’s get to it.

We open in Alcatraz. As in inside the closed prison with Piper in a cell. Apparently he’s escaping to go to the arena to face Hogan. How much do you think this cost them to make? He had these videos playing for a long time so his shirt is in tatters and all that jazz. He gets on a sail boat and shouts at the city. That’s WCW for you.

We recap Malenko vs. Syxx. The idea is that Syxx has been stealing belts that don’t belong to him such as Eddie’s US Title and Dean’s Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Dean Malenko

Syxx has the belt itself but Dean is champion. There’s a huge space between the entrance and the aisle. Dean is all ticked off to start and hits a leg lariat for two but pulls Syxx up. Brainbuster gets two. Powerslam gets the same as this has been one sided for the first few minutes. Syxx gets caught in the Tree of Woe as this aggressive Dean is kind of cool. Doesn’t suit him at all but it’s kind of cool.

Cloverleaf doesn’t work so a cross body sends both guys to the floor. Back in the ring and Syxx finally gets a kick to the face to take Dean down. Syxx hits that three kick combination of his in the corner to set up a Bronco Buster. We hear about Barry Bonds coming to San Francisco which doesn’t mean much but the match is going kind of slowly and I need something to talk about.

Sleeper goes on for a bit as Malenko counters with a belly to back for two. Dean’s neck is messed up so Bobby suggests neckbreakers or piledrivers. Syxx goes with a brainbuster instead and follows with a guillotine legdrop for two. Love that move. Back to the sleeper as we talk about Hogan and Piper now and how everyone is concerned about Piper. Dean throws on a sleeper for irony I guess but they ram into each other and down they go.

The announcers debate trains for awhile and how they crash which is annoying as my grandmother is currently heading to Washington via train. Syxx gets crotched on the top but reverses a belly to back off the top into a cross body to put Dean down. Syxx goes for the belt and Eddie IMMEDIATELY sprints out to stop him. Tug of war winds up sending the belt into Dean’s head for the pin and the NWO’s third title.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here which set up Eddie vs. Dean later I think. This was fine with the Cruiserweight formula of mat based guy (well kind of) being a heel vs. the fast paced guy (again kind of) being the face. Nothing very good here and not the best choice for an opener but I’ve seen far worse before.

DDP has a match with someone in the NWO tonight but doesn’t know against who so he runs down the list of the possible opponents. Gene thinks Buff Bagwell and what do you know he gets word that it’s him.

Konnan/La Parka/Villano IV vs. Ciclope/Super Calo/Juventud Guerrera

Not sure if this is trios rules or just a regular match. Calo’s team is the face team. Villano vs. Ciclope to start us off as we talk about Ray Stevens who passed away about 10 months earlier. Villano apparently means villain which is named after a character that all the Villanos’ father played in an El Santo movie back in the 50s. These guys are a bit bigger than most luchadores but it doesn’t matter as we’re off to Konnan and Juvy.

Rolling clothesline puts Guerrera down but a springboard dropkick changes momentum. And never mind as Konnan remembers he’s the real star here and beats up everyone to bring in Parka to face Calo. It’s moving too fast here to really keep track of it. Calo sends him to the floor and hits a slingshot Swanton. Parka puts him in a chair as selling is completely forgotten here and crashes into him.

Villano vs. Ciclope again as we’ve started all over apparently. Ciclope TOTALLY botches a moonsault to the floor as he veers to the left and lands hard. Off to Parka vs. Juvy with Parka hitting what we would call a Whisper in the Wind. Slingshot rana by Juvy gets two. Villano and Konnan get what was supposed to be a Doomsday Device on Juvy and follow it with a double leglock.

Everyone goes in and it was a six man submission hold/pin attempt at the same time. Everything breaks down and they all get tossed around with Konnan and Villano left standing. They do a four person leg hold called the Star and Parka puts Juvy in a surfboard in the middle. Triple suicide dive by the faces with Juvy completely missing Konnan but he tried. Back in the ring Konnan gets two on a Power Drop (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb) but they call it three despite Juvy’s arm being up maybe a second early.

Rating: C. Well that was something. I have no idea what it was but it was something. This was just another random Mexican Cruiserweight match which wasn’t very good but they were trying to pop the fans a bit. Not enough dives to make the fans care but it definitely got your attention. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not though.

TV Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Prince Iaukea

WCW put their midcard title on a Samoan by beating a blueblood just after Rocky Maivia did in the WWF. No reason given why Iaukea, who meant nothing, popped up to become a champion but I’m sure it wasn’t copying WWF. Not at all. Rey is still young and awesome here with both knees intact. Technical stuff to start with no one being able to get an extended advantage.

The Prince misses a springboard shot but gets a kick to the face for two. Off to the floor as Dusty talks about becoming a king. Bobby wants to know what he’s a prince of, suggesting Omaha. Big dive by Iaukea takes Rey down on the floor and he takes over. The fans get distracted by something in the audience as he hits a suplex on Rey and we hit the chinlock.

Iaukea is more or less the default heel because only an idiot (or Russo) would try to make Rey a heel. Prince tries to come off the top but gets caught by a dropkick and a rana takes Iaukea to the floor. In a SICK bump, Rey lays him on the floor and gets a running dive through the ropes with a front flip to land on Iaukea (not a Swanton but more of a back splash).

Back in the ring and a spinwheel kick and falling moonsault (he stood on the top and dropped down onto the rope for the moonsault) get two for Rey. The Prince comes back with what would become known as an Angle Slam off the top as Regal, the former champion, comes down. They botch a top rope rana so they try a modified version of it. Regal pulls Rey down and his face goes into the apron, allowing Prince to pin him. He didn’t see Regal drop him on the apron.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the reason for Regal is Rey distracted Regal on Nitro to cost Regal the title. Not much of a match as the third straight cruiserweight style match got a bit tiring. Iaukea went nowhere after losing the title while Rey would go on to become Rey Mysterio. Always cool to see two different paths like this here.

Iaukea tries to give Rey the belt when he figures out Regal cheated but Rey doesn’t want it. So no one wants to be champion? I’ve heard of worse ways to kill a belt.

The Giant talks about how the Outsiders like to play mind games but tonight it’s his game at his speed. He has a handicap match later since Luger is hurt.

Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page

DDP is in the middle of the push of a lifetime by being the first guy to turn down the NWO so this could have been a stuffed panda in an NWO shirt and DDP would have fit in perfectly. Page isn’t quite the People’s Champion yet as he still has the cigar but it’s shaping up quickly. Very slow start as Page his some basic stuff, including a neckbreaker that Bagwell would use as a regular move in a few years.

Out to the floor as Bagwell gets a shot in and Dusty talks about various rambling things. Bagwell hasn’t been heel that long at this point so he doesn’t have his stuff down yet. Small package gets two for Page but he walks into a clothesline to take him down. The referee gets in Bagwell’s face in a funny bit. Discus clothesline and both guys are down. Heenan sounds drunk again.

Here comes the comeback as Bagwell is just a step above a jobber so it’s not much of a comeback. Helicopter bomb gets two even though it would be a propeller that didn’t spin that much. Diamond Cutter doesn’t work as Bagwell hits his Fisherman’s suplex finisher but wants the referee to count Page out for ten instead of covering him.

When that of course fails he tries a neckbreaker which is reversed into a Diamond Cutter to bring the crowd straight to its feet. And here’s the NWO G-Team of Mr. Wallstreet, Nick Patrick and Syxx for the save. Page actually runs from them because nothing spells fear like IRS and a referee. Page wins by DQ because we can’t have Buff Bagwell get pinned to hurt his credibility right?

Rating: D+. Just a match really with nothing of note going on. DDP could have realistically challenged any NWO person at this point so Bagwell was just the opponent of the night for him. The ending is pretty freaking stupid as the fans wanted to see Page win with the Diamond Cutter and it’s not like this was against Hogan. It’s against a lackey and a new one at that. What’s the point?

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero

Gee think this will be good? The graphic says TV Title because WCW is stupid. Eddie is champion here and Jericho is still relatively unknown here having debuted in August but only doing random cruiserweight stuff. Let’s give him a shot at the second biggest title in the company on PPV! Tony says the wrong year for the first Superbrawl (it was 91).

Technical stuff to start and Eddie works on the legs a bit. Dusty rambles a lot and after we talk about the new generation we better talk about Hogan and Piper again. Crowd is DEAD because this is just a random title match with no particular rhyme or reason. Test of strength doesn’t prove anything and more technical stuff follows. Very back and forth match with no one getting an advantage.

Spinebuster sets up the Liontamer which doesn’t have a name yet and the announcers criticize it because they don’t get it yet. Off to a chinlock as Jericho has been winning for the majority of the match. Eddie is a bit off because he cost Dean the title earlier. Jericho gets a backbreaker on him which is more or less a torture rack. He drops down into another backbreaker for two.

They speed things up a bit and Jericho misses a cross body out of the corner and Eddie gets a powerbomb for two. Brainbuster looks to set up the frog splash but he rolls through it and Jericho gets a NICE release German to put both guys down. Things slow down a bit now and Eddie reverses a bunch of stuff before an overhead belly to belly gets two for Jericho. Eddie gets crotched on the top and a springboard dropkick puts him on the floor so Jericho can hit a pescado.

Back in Eddie catches him in an atomic drop as Chris comes off the top. They both try kicks (drop for Eddie, spinwheel for Jericho) and Jericho might have hurt his knee. They collide again and we’re both down again. Powerslam gets two for Jericho. Suplex reversal gets two for Eddie but he walks into a superkick and La Magistrol for two. Jericho counters a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for two. We get a reversal sequence and Eddie comes out with a sunset flip for the surprise pin.

Rating: B. Very good match here which is exactly what you would expect. Both guys worked very hard out there and I’d be shocked if this isn’t the runaway match of the night. That being said, neither guy would get anything out of it as Eddie dropped the title a month later and Jericho wouldn’t do anything until June when he won the Cruiserweight Title and was in that division for like a year.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

This was supposed to be a four corners match with the Steiners but the Outsiders and Syxx ran their car off the road to injure them, filmed it, and AIRED IT ON NITRO. Naturally the Steiners said let us win the titles in a match instead of, you know, PROSECUTING THEM AS FELONS! This isn’t for the #1 contender spot because the Steiners aren’t in it if that makes sense.

Rocco Rock is bald now. Rock and Barbarian start us off. Powerslam gets two for the Samoan/Tongan/stereotype of the island monster. Stevie comes in and Rock gets beaten up a bit more. Grunge comes in and Heat takes him down with ease. Booker gets the axe kick for two on Grunge. Dusty is of course losing his mind over everything here and won’t shut up.

Booker gets a side slam and a Spinarooni to set up the Harlem Side Kick to take Grunge down. Meng comes in and beats on Booker a lot, including hitting a dropkick of all things. Clubberin commences and Booker is in trouble. Belly to belly superplex gets two for Barbarian. Meng hits a Piledriver on Booker for two. The Islanders hit their signature powerbomb combo for two and everything breaks down. Public Enemy hits a double team move off the top with no tag whatsoever and the referee is like whatever and gets the pin on Barbarian. Sure why not.

Rating: D-. So this was a bad match with nothing on the line and the ending was completely against tag team rules. Well of course it was. And this made it to PPV. Having Tony remind us that even though Public Enemy won a big tag team match but ARE NOT #1 contenders really points out how stupid this was.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Mongo is a Horseman and if Jarrett wins, he gets to be the fifth Horseman, which would be Benoit, Flair, Anderson, Mongo and Jarrett. This is when Jarrett had long hair, country music and not a shred of credibility. Flair and Anderson are out with injuries at this point so this is more or less an attempt to build up a new generation. Also Debra is in the middle of all this.

Someone keeps ringing a cowbell at ringside. Jarrett gets a hiptoss and struts a bit. Powerslam gets no cover for Mongo. Debra stops Mongo and here comes Jarrett. Out to the floor again and it’s all Mongo. Terribly boring stuff here as Jarrett has no heat and Mongo isn’t anything good at all. It would be about a year and a half before Jarrett got anything resembling credibility which seemed to happen when he cut his hair.

Lots of choking and slow moving stuff here like walking around. Sleeper by Mongo and Jarrett gets a suplex to escape. Debra isn’t sure who to help. Cross body gets two for Jarrett and the referee goes down on the kickout. Mongo wants his briefcase but Debra says no, throwing it over his head so Jarrett can clock Mongo with it and become a Horseman.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that is technically ok but at the same time there was nothing going on. They were in slow motion almost all the time and the stakes meant nothing as no one bought either guy as a Horseman. Weak match overall and of course they feuded forever, eventually over the US Title.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

LONG post match stuff sees everyone in the back not known as a wrestler comes out to help them and everyone goes out on a stretcher. Eats up like 6 minutes. Naturally Dusty says Hogan and Piper could end up like this. Can you imagine either of them either coming off the top or going through a table? Give me a break. Woman doesn’t look bad with her hair pulled back.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. The Giant

Ok so there’s a backstory here. Giant and Luger are partners but Luger has a broken hand/arm and couldn’t get a doctor’s clearance in time so Giant has to go this alone. Syxx is with the champs. Hall starts off here with the idea being to tick Giant off. Hall hammers away which seems to just be getting him in trouble. One armed slam by Giant and it’s off to Nash. This was the teased match for an entire year which didn’t happen until the following January because Nash didn’t want to job to Giant.

Giant gets a dropkick to send Nash to the floor and manhandles him with ease, including ramming him into the post. Elbow gets two back in the ring. Nash gets in a shot with the Cruiserweight Title and Hall adds what was supposed to be a bulldog but Hall manages to wind up behind Giant, making it more like a Zig Zag.

Basically this is 3-1 and that’s about what was expected. Nash misses the running pelvis to the head with Giant on the middle rope in a 619 position. That move REALLY needs a name. Off to Hall again who hammers away in the corner. Giant fights them off as Syxx comes in and slips the belt to Hall who drops Giant with it. Nash manages to powerbomb Giant in a cool spot as somehow we haven’t had a DQ yet.

Here’s Luger with a cast on to clean house. He Racks Nash who hurt his back on the powerbomb. That rings a bell for a submission somehow but wait, Nash wasn’t legal. Therefore Giant (illegal) chokeslams Hall, the legal man, and pins him for the definitive pin. Naturally this was overturned the next night on Nitro for literally no reason other than “that wasn’t legal” but it was a stupid moment so I can forgive it.

Rating: D+. Match was junk for the most part but that powerbomb was indeed awesome. Nash vs. Giant would FINALLY get blown off 11 months later because WCW saw no problem with Nash screwing over a PPV audience at Starrcade. Anyway, this was more stupid stuff that meant nothing if you were paying attention but it’s WCW so there you go.

We really have to do the main event now don’t we?

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

WCW didn’t do video packages at all and it took a bit to get used to it. Ok so Piper debuted at Halloween Havoc because a mere four years since he meant anything were seen as nothing I guess. Piper got to set up the contract at Starrcade so for some reason he made it non-title. Piper then went to Alcatraz for a week because WCW thought we would care. Piper has said he’s not WCW for whatever reason but it’s not like anyone cares again. Let’s get this over with.

Piper is of course covered in a dirty shirt which is full of holes as they actually tried to make us believe he was in a closed prison for a week. Hogan stalls, apparently channeling his inner Memphis. Piper chases him in the aisle and goes after his eye for no apparent reason back in the ring. There’s a low blow as this isn’t going to be wrestling is it?

Total brawl of course and Piper no sells a low blow. NWO people come out and Piper beats them up like Sting, Luger, Savage and Giant couldn’t because he’s old I guess. Piper no sells everything and brawls, using eye pokes (nyuk nyuk nyuk), punches, biting and choking. Hogan gets crotched on the top to add to the “comedy” of this match I’m guessing.

Here come Sting and Savage, who were hanging out at the time. Savage leaves Sting there but Sting stops him. Hogan finally gets a shot in as Savage is chilling on the floor. The fans LOUDLY cheer for Sting as Hogan gets two. Sting just leaves as Hogan beats on Piper. At this time it wasn’t clear whose side Sting was on so this was normal for him. Bear hug by Hogan as we see that Savage has lightning bolts on his clothes just like Hogan. Gee, foreshadowing much?

Another low blow sets up the sleeper by Piper and out of absolutely nowhere we’re done. It’s as abrupt as it sounds. And then after Piper’s hand is raised, Savage pulls Hogan’s feet under the ropes even though the referee could see the 10 inches plus between the feet and the ropes. Savage slips something on Hogan’s hand, Piper gets drilled, Savage is in the NWO and Hogan keeps the title while no one really gets what’s going on at all. The idea is Savage was thrown out of WCW so it was NWO or nothing else.

Rating: F. The match sucked as neither guy could move in the slightest so they were put in back to back PPV main events. The ending is completely stupid as no one got what was going on and it’s designed to make Hogan look even weaker than before. Terrible main event and one of the worst ever. Tony not mentioning Savage pulling him under the ropes after the match doesn’t help either as we saw Savage pull him.

Piper gets beaten down post match and it’s a huge moment or something because Piper was the big savior I guess. Beating ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some watchable stuff on here but the pacing really hurt this show. They had all their exciting matches at the beginning so after the Guerrero/Jericho match they had nothing else they could go with to pick the crowd up. Not the worst WCW show ever, but nothing worth seeing at all because it’s more NWO dominance as they get stronger with Savage now. Another weak show.

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Wrestlicious Takedown
Date: March 10, 2010
Location: Wrestlicious Studios, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentator: Johnny C.

Oh sweet goodness what am I doing to myself? For those of you unfamiliar, go watch the trailer on Youtube right now. It’s basically the spiritual successor to G.L.O.W., which is known for good looking women and completely campy comedy and women that are “wrestlers”. In this case, it was started by a guy that won a Powerball lottery and used his money on this. Jimmy Hart played a big part in this and I think it’s out of business now. This is the second episode. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the girls are mostly all wrestlers, some of which you’ll know. They’re ALL in very stereotypical and overdone gimmicks which I’m sure you’ll catch on to. There are also comedy skits to go along with the wrestling. The word “studios” means warehouse too.

Jimmy Hart pops up and is worried about being the host and stuck with a bimbo or stick in the mud. Leyla Milani, the runner up in one of the Diva Searches, appears and is the co-host. Oh geez there’s a laugh track.

We do the opening video which is most of the girls in character in front of a personalized screen.

Boot Camp Bailey, the trainer, wants to talk about something. She’s a military themed girl with a VERY short skirt. She says attention a lot and says she’s looking for a few good women. Bailey asks who wants to be a trainee and calls a few “fans” into the ring. One of the girls is the floor manager who has to take her headset off before she gets in. Bailey apparently is a model with no wrestling experience. This is getting LOUDLY booed by the way.

We get a clip from last week of a six girl tag with the Country Cousins vs. the Mexican team/Felony, a prison character. I have no idea what the announcer’s name is. Felony tries to escape during the match. Apparently the commentator’s name is Johnny C. and he has no idea what he’s calling. The Mexican team and Felony won with what looked like a Snow Plow.

There’s going to be a battle royal with the final two facing each other for the Wrestlicious Title.

We go to “the farm” (green screen) with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas who do a comedy bit called “You Just Might Be A Down Home Wrestler.” I’m sure you get the idea here.

And now, a game show: Are You Smarter Than A Male Wrestler, hosted by Jimmy Hart. Our contestants are Glory (female wrestler Christie Ricci playing a patriot) and Brian Knobbs. The category is American History and the question is what happened in 1776. Knobbs thinks it’s the first beer drinking contest. Glory gets it right (I guess the signing of the Declaration of Independence was all that happened in America that year)…..and that’s it.

We recap the Bailey segment from like 5 minutes ago.

Now three girls are in a bedroom on a bed. Now they go to make drinks but Bailey stops them. Oh ok they’re the trainees. To be continued. Did I mention we’re almost halfway through the show?

Package on Lacey Von Erich which is her on the beach in swimsuits.

Tony the Top (mob character) says that Autumn Frost (an Ice Princess, whatever that is. You may know her as Jennifer Blake who does indy wrestling and is a somewhat big female star in AAA) should be on JV Rich’s (the owner of the company and owner of a big mansion where comedy bits like this one are shot at) arm. He says she should be on a leash, which gets a HUGE reaction from the laugh track.

Paige Webb (Serena from the Straight Edge Society with hair) answers an e-mail from a male admirer. Included in the e-mail is a picture of his pierced genitals I think.

Three girls are arguing over what to call the aforementioned battle royal. Go vote on their website for the NAME OF THE MATCH. This show is cut into three parts on Youtube and we’re about to start part 3 with no matches.

HOKEY SMOKE A WRESTLING MATCH!

Autumn Frost vs. Paige Webb

Frost is from Alaska so we get a snow effect. Webb is a computer geek. Get it? Johnny C. makes a bunch of bad sex jokes and we’re ready to go. Frost jumps her but gets caught in a full nelson. The commentary is nothing but puns. Literally, it’s all puns and the occasional name of a move. Frost hooks a full nelson of her own but Webb arm drags out of it. Webb hooks the armbar as the announcer talks about how Webb’s box is filled every night. With e-mails of course.

A monkey flip puts Frost down and “the ice girl goeth”. Back in and Frost takes over. I can’t handle or give you an accurate description of the amount of the puns being used here. Apparently Webb needs to reboot from a snow boot. Frost beats her down “like a computer virus.” I’m dying listening to how bad this is.

They do a pinfall reversal sequence and Webb gets caught in a chinlock. Webb comes back with some armdrags and sends Frost to the floor for a beating. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Webb. After a quick run on the floor, Webb tries a monkey flip but Frost falls on her and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Both girls are pro wrestlers already so the match wasn’t that bad, but the commentary here is going to make or break the match for you. I kid you not, you won’t go ten seconds without a terrible pun, but if you just give up on the show being serious and enjoy it for how HORRIBLE it is, the commentary will grow on you quickly. The wrestling wasn’t half bad.

We get a preview for next week which is a voodoo chick vs. Madison Rayne as a cheerleader.

Overall Rating: B. Now let me explain. This show is TERRIBLE. There’s about four minutes of wrestling (the show is only half an hour including commercials so it’s not a huge stretch), a TON of bad comedy bits that don’t go anywhere and the commentary is nothing but puns.

HOWEVER, this is the kind of show where if you saw more than four seconds of the previews, you knew exactly what you were getting into. This show knows it’s horrible and it doesn’t try to take itself seriously in the slightest. I found it hilarious with how bad it was and if you go into it with that kind of mindset, you’ll have fun with it. Plus the girls look good so that helps.

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WWF Wrestling Challenge
Date: February 7, 1988
Location: Wicomico Youth and Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

What a name for a venue. We’re past the Rumble and the Main Event, but only the Rumble had aired when this show was taped. We won’t be into a post Main Event set of tapings until the end of the month so for now all you’re going to hear about is the Rumble (in theory). We’re getting into some very interesting times now though so let’s get to it.

We hear from the arena manager who welcomes us to the arena.

Vince says that the announcers aren’t allowed to talk about the ending of The Main Event. That’s pretty clever actually.

Opening sequence.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Hercules gets fired up before the match. Heenan is at ringside for this so Vince is alone on commentary. It’s a pre-match posedown because the chain is still in the ring. We’re going to get a tug of war to start. There’s been no contact yet. They keep moving their hands closer and Herc kicks him in the ribs. They keep pulling on the chain and it breaks in half. Herc hits him with half of the chain and the thing is thrown out before it officially starts.

Herc has to be pulled off of Warrior allowing the painted one to come back and choke Hercules to the back. This would result in a Wrestlemania rematch.

Mania is officially announced for Atlantic City at 4pm. We hear about some people who are going to be in the city although not exactly at the show.

Jerry Gray/Rex King vs. The Bolsheviks

Slick is with the Russians here. Heenan is back on commentary here. After the Russian anthem Nikolai goes after Gray. Heenan wants to talk about Indianapolis but he’s not allowed to. Off to Boris who gets pounded in the corner which gets him sent to the floor. Nikolai and King come in and Boris hits King in the back of the head. A double ax to the chest gets the pin. Squash.

Demolition says that Billy Jack Haynes and Ken Patera can’t stop them. They want whoever they can get their hands on, but they especially want the new champions, Strike Force.

Bad News is back next week.

Gino Carabella/Brian Costello vs Young Stallions

Roma and I think Costello start things off. Powers comes in with a sunset flip and it’s back to Roma. Heenan talks about hanging out with Donald Trump. The jobbers double team Roma but the Stallions make a blind tag. Roma (I think the illegal man) pins Costello with a belly to belly suplex.

Slick and the One Man Gang say that the Gang will win the world title this coming year.

The Bulldogs say thank you for your get well wishes to Matilda.

Rick Rude vs. Brady Boone

These two went to high school together actually. Boone jumps over Rude in the corner and does it again. His momentum is short lived as he walks into a powerslam for two. Rude Awakening ends this quick.

Jim Duggan talks about winning the Rumble. He’s always got the board in case he needs it.

Butch Reed vs. Dave Stoudemire

Heenan comes back into the booth and talks about The Main Event but it’s censored. There’s nothing to say here. It runs about two and a half minutes and Reed wins with a top rope shoulder block.

We get clips from the Rumble with Dino Bravo trying for a world bench press record. They only show about two minutes here but the whole thing ran about twenty and ended with Jesse helping.

We also get a clip of the end of the Women’s Tag Title match.

Demolition vs. Rick Hunter/Omar Atlas

Atlas starts and gets beaten down very quickly. Off to Hunter who is taken down even faster. Hunter gets demolished and the Decapitator ends this quick.

Ron Bass thinks all the top talent is hiding from him.

Heenan gets censored again and Vince leans his head in front of Bobby’s mouth so no one can read his lip. That’s a pretty good idea.

Overall Rating: C. The show was just ok but the story was clearly coming strong here and it would only be a matter of time before the whole thing finally got to be talked about. Once that happens, the road to Mania will begin and we’re only about seven weeks away from that show anyway. The wrestling wasn’t great here, but the story was.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2001
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This show almost has to be better than last week’s. Last week wasn’t really bad but it just wasn’t interesting in the slightest and nothing happened with it. This week hopefully Austin is back and we’re moving towards No Mercy and then Survivor Series. Based on the card, nothing is going to get any better this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Rock and Angle trying to win the tag titles from the Dudleys but having Booker and Test run in for the save. Angle took a 3D through a table as did Rock.

After the theme song here’s Kurt for a chat. Angle says that he has business to finish with the Dudleys, but first of all Austin isn’t here again. Angle doesn’t quite believe that, but maybe it’s true. He’s not sure you see. Maybe Austin is scared. There’s nothing embarrassing about tapping out to escape the pain of the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t want to embarrass Austin but how about Austin comes out here right now.

Instead he gets the Rock for some reason. Rock doesn’t know or care where Austin is tonight. He does however care about the Dudleys after the pair of 3D’s on Smackdown. Rock thinks that maybe they should get together with the Dudleys tonight. It can be all of the Dudleys, even the more obscure ones which he lists for some decent laughs.

Here’s Shane who is in fighting clothes. Shane thinks that he’s going to put the Dudleys against Rock in a handicap tables match for the title. If Rock doesn’t do it, the belt is stripped from The Rock. Rock says cool, although he’s a little more colorful than that. Angle wants to talk about strudel.

Austin is a giant strudel and Shane doesn’t have a strudel of his own. Shane says he has a whole bakery down there, so tonight it’s himself vs. Angle for the WWF Title. How does he get to make that match? Shane comes to the ring but the Dudleys run in for the beatdown. Angle gets powerbombed through a table and Rock makes the save. That goes badly as he takes a 3D of his own. Did this segment really need seventeen minutes?

We get a fax at the announce table. I wonder if that’s the father of the GM Computer. It’s for Heyman from Austin and it says (complete with a graphic saying communicating by fax) that Austin won’t be here tonight because he resents Angle as well as the fans. It even includes WHAT’s, which is kind of awesome.

European Title: Spike Dudley vs. Hurricane

The word on the street is that Molly has turned villain by turning hero. Spike pounds on him to start but Hurricane comes back with a neckbreaker. Superkick by the champion misses and Spike goes up. Mike Awesome comes down for no apparent reason and Spike dives on him. Hurricane hits Spike and goes up but jumps into the boot. He loads up the Dudley Dog but Awesome trips him up. Eye of the Hurricane off the top ends this. Short and bad.

In the back Molly officially becomes Mighty Molly and joins Hurricane as they leave on the Hurricycle. Big Show pops up on the Tron looking like an IDIOT in a jean hat and jacket. He says on Smackdown that he’ll take Spike out on the town to meet a bunch of women. Show sounds drunk.

Booker T/Test/Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker/Kane/Chris Jericho

Booker and Test beat the monsters for the WCW tag titles on Smackdown. Before the WWF guys come in we get another fax from Austin which says that he congratulates the new champions but RVD needs to remember that there’s only one leader of the Alliance. Jericho and Booker start things off. The Canadian starts with the forearm and chops Booker into the corner.

Off to Undertaker who gets very little reaction. I guess he listens as he tags back out less than ten seconds later. A hook kick lets Booker tag Test in and now Taker will fight for awhile. Taker works on the arm and hits Old School which gets a good reaction. Kane comes in with a side slam and the top rope clothesline. RVD walks into a big boot but as Kane tries the double chokeslam, RVD hits Kane low right in front of the referee who doesn’t do anything.

RVD is legal off that somehow and hits Rolling Thunder for two on Kane. Back to Booker and then Test very quickly. The Canadian beats on Kane for a few moments but gets caught in a belly to back suplex to put him down. Off to Taker who is moving quickly by his standards.

He beats up all three Alliance guys while Jericho just lets the three on one fight to continue. Van Dam superkicks Undertaker but RVD bulldogs him down. Everything breaks down and we have some heel miscommunication. Test kicks Kane’s head off but gets caught in an UGLY Last Ride. Booker knocks Taker to the floor but gets caught in the Walls. Van Dam hits a top rope kick to the face and rolls up Jericho for the pin.

Rating: C-. Basic six man tag here with some REALLY bad refereeing in there too. The idea of tagging was thrown out the window most of the time in this match and it got pretty annoying. Not a good match either but the combining of two feuds into one match is a pretty good idea in a period like this one.

We get a clip from Heat where Stacy and Torrie have a stupid argument. Torrie beats her up.

Stephanie and her rocking rack will be back next week. Jericho hurt her on Smackdown and we get a clip of the match where she got hurt in the Walls. Her in a tight blue halter top and leather pants WORKS.

Awesome talks to RD in the back when Shane comes in. He wants to talk about the Stephanie injury and implies it was RVD’s fault. This goes nowhere.

Oh geez it’s time for a Torrie promo. Thankfully Stacy jumps her before anything can be said. Lillian the interviewer yells in Spanish.

WCW World Title: Dudley Boys vs. The Rock

Tables match. Rock needs to put one through a table to win. Rock charges the ring and we’re off fast. They go to the floor and Rock sends both of them into the table and makes Bubba clothesline D-Von. Rock puts a table in the ring and hits a baseball slide to kick a different table into Bubba’s face. D-Von gets in but Bubba Rock up to give the team control. What’s Up to Rock and it’s one of those stupid matches where they have to tag.

D-Von is in legally first and there’s a table set up in the ring. Bubba kicks Rock in the back to put him down again and then tags in legally. Quickly back to D-Von as Rock comes back with punches. The reverse 3D takes Rock down and Bubba is in legally. The Dudleys set for something off the top but Rock comes back. He crotches Bubba but D-Von moves the table so Rock just slams Bubba onto the mat. D-Von sets up a second table for a 3D but Rock knocks D-Von to the floor.

Samoan Drop puts Bubba down as does a DDT. D-Von back in and he walks into a Rock Bottom but Bubba moves the table. Spinebuster puts Bubba down and here’s Shane. He puts Rock through the table but there’s no referee. Another Alliance referee comes in but a WWF one counters him. What authority would the WWF one have here? Bubba picks up Rock and gets caught in a Rock Bottom through the table so Rock can retain.

Rating: C-. So, again, we have a challenge of the week for Rock and there’s more interference by Shane which Rock overcomes. This has been going on for what, four weeks in a row now? Like I’ve been saying the whole time, there’s no point to the majority of these matches as there’s nowhere for this specific pairing to go anymore and once again, it’s about a McMahon instead of a wrestler. Same old, same old.

DDP still has a creepy smile and wants us to like ourselves. He recently hurt his knee and needed surgery, but that’s a good thing because his knee is stronger than ever and he loves rehab. We get a yoga demonstration which was never mentioned again I don’t think.

Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz

Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?

Another fax says Austin doesn’t like bullies, which is what JR is.

Ivory hits on Regal who isn’t impressed. Lance Storm comes in to talk about sexual harassment and we have a match later.

Here’s Christian to complain about not getting respect after defending his title twice last week. No one defends his title like he does and no one cares. He insults the locals and wants to know why no one likes him. Cue X-Pac (irony!) who sympathizes with Christian. He was part of the most popular group ever and then went out on his own. The people turned on him and he’s mad about it. Christian says shame on the people and Pac calls them all losers.

Cue Edge who says Pac didn’t make the people chew him up and spit him out. He made them want to vomit. 1998 called and they’re sick of him, so come join us in 2001. Edge used to be into the goth thing but then changed because of this thing called “character development.” Maybe Pac should look into it. This is great stuff. Christian makes fun of Edge as the fans chant for Edge. Edge asks the fans why they hate Christian and gives them some options to pick from. Albert jumps Edge and it’s three on one until the APA makes the save.

William Regal vs. Lance Storm

This HAS TO be good right? Storm quickly takes him down with a jawbreaker but Regal knocks him to the floor. Regal fires off forearms back in the ring but walks into a boot that bloodies his nose. Not that it matters as the Regal Stretch gets the tap out after about 90 seconds.

FAX! Austin says that he’s either #1 contender or else Regal is going to get it. Regal isn’t pleased and roughs up Heyman as a result.

In a hilariously bad bit of acting, Maven, the Tough Enough winner, is told by Taz that he’s competing on Smackdown. His opponent is about to come through that door. Maven turns around and there’s a Tazmission, because Taz is the opponent.

Shane implies that he wants Van Dam to help him in the main event…I think.

WWF Title: Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

Your main event people! We’ve got ALL OF ECW AND MOST OF WCW on the payroll but we get Shane McMahon. Sure why not. Angle starts fast with punches and some hard clotheslines. Out to the floor for Kurt to hit RVD but it allows Shane to take over. And never mind as Angle suplexes him to take over again. Kurt tries to suplex Shane over the top and to the floor but Shane grabs the rope.

A springboard clothesline by Shane puts Kurt down for two. He works on the neck and breaks it for two. Kurt starts a comeback but gets caught by a floatover DDT. Top rope elbow gets a delayed cover as the elbow hurt Shane too. Kurt comes back with punches and the Rolling Germans. Out to the floor and Shane takes another belly to belly. Van Dam fires off a kick and hits a Frog Splash from the apron. That gets two in the ring so Van Dam throws in a chair. Shane tries a piledriver but Angle reverses into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: D. So we got a basic squash for the WWF Title in the main event. No one on the planet bought Shane as a legit threat here and you could tell with no one reacting to the covers in the slightest. With the roster you have out there, THIS is the best you can give us? Even with the knowledge of the names that would be there within just a few months, this is still unacceptable. Booker, RVD, Rhyno, Mike Awesome, any of these guys would have been a better and more believable option than Shane. The other problem is that even if Shane won the title, so what? It’s a world title apiece again.

Overall Rating: D+. These shows are getting worse and worse because it’s the same stuff over and over again. We have these meaningless title defenses while we sit around and wait for Austin to come back and no one has a freaking clue what the point of any of this is. I know I harp on this a lot but none of these matches or fights mean anything. The Alliance never had a goal or anything other than to come in and beat WWF guys, which doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day, which is where the whole thing fell apart. Well among other things but you get the idea. Weakest show in awhile here.

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Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2012
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’ve got two shows before Over the Limit and after Raw we have a fatal fourway main event instead of just Sheamus vs. Del Rio which should be a big upgrade over the singles match. Other than that we have very little set up for the PPV on the blue side. The show is going to be a filler show so it doesn’t really need to be that set up. I’m sure we’ll get Show vs. Rhodes again too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the Raw tag match and the post match brawl/announcement in the back.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

No car for Del Rio this time. Orton and Jericho get things going. Randy takes him down with a shoulder block and slaps Sheamus on the shoulder to tag him in. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho down and brings Randy back in with a hearty slap on the arm. Off to Del Rio who gets taken down but the knee drop misses. Alberto goes for the arm and drops some knees on it.

Randy gets in a boot as the announcers say there’s no point in trying to predict the fourway. Tag to Sheamus who hits the Regal Roll for two. Jericho low bridges Sheamus to send him to the floor and gets in a shot to the injured shoulder. Jericho comes in legally and puts on a modified Fujiwara armbar.

To give you an idea of the commentary I have to listen to here, this exchange happens: Josh: “I know you can’t predict a winner in the fatal fourway but will Sheamus retain?” Michael: “I don’t think so because it’s almost mathematically impossible. He only has a 25% chance.” After that butchering of both logic and math, Sheamus hits Jericho with the ax handle and tags in Orton. RKO is countered but a dropkick gets two for Orton. Everything breaks down and the referee calls for the bell after about four seconds for the double DQ at 5:19.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t really a match but rather just a backdrop for the double DQ ending. That’s probably a good thing too as there’s no need to have anyone look better or weaker before the PPV. It was just a basic main event style tag match until then and at least we didn’t have to wait long before it got thrown out.

Post break we’re told that it’s Del Rio vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Jericho later.

AJ vs. Kaitlyn

AJ takes her down immediately and then does it again. She dropkicks the knee and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at 35 seconds.

Post match AJ goes after Kaitlyn again but here’s Daniel Bryan. He says he’s impressed by her ruthlessness and AJ looks like a little lost puppy. Bryan sees her in a new light and is willing to move past all the angst they’ve had. After he becomes WWE Champion at Over the Limit he’s looking forward to moving on. AJ looks at him and Bryan nods, but Bryan says he’s looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn. AJ looks completely psychotic and leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Show corners him and chops the chest. Bryan goes for the knee but it doesn’t do much good. Show chops him again but Bryan manages to take him down with a middle rope dropkick. He hooks the YES Lock….and there’s the bell at 1:28. Ace pops up at the timekeeper’s table and says Bryan wins by submission.

Ace makes Show apologize again and Show is humiliated again. Ace says that on Monday Show better give him a real apology. Way to emasculate the good guys WWE! As Ace is leaving he says that at Extreme Rules, Lesnar destroyed Cena and revolutionized the WWE. In nine nights, he’s going to beat Cena and shake the WWE to its foundation.

Heath Slater is in the ring and says that his opponent looks like a caveman with a pea sized brain. The guy he’s facing tonight hasn’t beaten anyone like the One Man Southern Rock Band. Again, WHAT DOES THAT NAME MEAN???

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Slater actually gets in some offense but before I can make an NXT joke, it’s powerslam, clothesline and MuscleBuster at 1:15 for Ryback’s latest win.

Teddy Long is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alex Riley

Teddy has to run off a long list of names for Cesaro such as the Swiss Sensation, His Opponent’s Plight and Aksana’s Delight. Cesaro hits a big boot in the corner and a gutwrench suplex. Riley gets in some jobber offense but the spinebuster is broken up. The European Uppercut sets up that Gotch whatever move for the pin at 2:23.

Post match Aksana reminds Teddy they were just friends but Cesaro is her lover. They kiss and Teddy wants to cry.

Video on Cena’s work with Make-A-Wish, which he wrote an article for USA Today about. Love him or hate him, that’s awesome stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

The entrances are cut for some reason. Del Rio controls to start but Orton comes back and hits the slingshot into the bottom rope for two. Alberto drapes the arm over the top rope to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Orton gets up and powerslams Alberto but the elevated DDT is countered. He sends Orton to the apron and hits an enziguri for two.

Orton comes back again with the backbreaker but Del Rio kicks him in the arm. Codebreaker to the arm puts Orton down and he loads up the armbreaker, but Orton kicks him off. Elevated DDT from the top rope hits but Ricardo is on the top rope. He jumps right into an RKO which is good for the DQ at 5:22.

Rating: C. I liked this. The story of Orton using his usual stuff to counteract all of the arm work was working for me and even though there was no way Orton would ever tap to the hold, it was interesting watching him counter all that stuff. Then again I’m an Orton fan so that probably has a lot to do with it. Also anyone jumping into an RKO is cool to see.

Del Rio puts Orton’s shoulder into the post and hooks the armbreaker post match.

R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

This is due to the tag title match that was set up for the PPV. Truth quickly takes over and hits a dancing legdrop for one. AW and company are watching in the back. Mason Ryan is with them now. Swagger comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. He hits Truth’s back a few times but Truth comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Swagger tries another wheelbarrow suplex but Truth rolls him up for two. Dolph trips up Truth and gets punched and kicked by the champions. Swagger jumps Truth on the floor but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise. That lets the Little Jimmy get the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Another short match in an annoying series of them tonight. This is your usual formula to set up a tag team title match and I still have yet to find anyone that cares about this match and feud at all. This match was just ok at best but again, with only three and a half minutes to work with, there’s only so much they could do.

We get a piece of the Cena sitdown interview from Monday.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Ryder doesn’t even get an entrance anymore. Titus runs Santino over to start and slams him down. Off to Young who hits a neckbreaker and belly to back suplex. Titus suplexes Young onto Santino and it’s off to a Darren chinlock. Santino escapes and tags in Ryder who speeds things up. He hits his usual stuff and the Broski Boot gets two on Darren. Rough Ryder is broken up by Titus and Santino gets clotheslined down while he loads up the Cobra. Young knocks Ryder off the ropes and the Demolition Decapitator (called the Ghetto Blaster) gets the pin at 2:59.

Titus makes Lillian announce the winners again. They say they’ll be the new champions and make millions.

Damien Sandow says he knows his message is going over everyone’s heads but they have no one to look up to. He’ll be the sword of taste and decency, which concludes the interview. You’re welcome.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Hunico and Camacho jump Brodus before the bell. Camacho is thrown out and Brodus starts smiling. There’s the bell and the beating begins. Suplex and splash end this at 54 seconds.

Post match it’s time to dance.

Video on HHH being attacked by Lesnar and Heyman returning to announce Brock quitting on Monday.

Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes him into the corner to start and uses the power to control. Jericho misses a charge into the corner and Sheamus knocks him off the apron into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the slingshot shoulder block for two. Out to the apron and Sheamus tries to suplex him to the floor, but Jericho drapes the arm over the top rope to take over.

Sheamus’ arm goes into the post and Jericho puts on an armbar back in the ring. The champ fights up but Jericho dropkicks him down. That gets him nowhere as Sheamus makes his comeback. That gets countered also but the Walls are countered. Irish Curse is broken up as is the Regal Roll. The Walls go on but Sheamus is too close to the ropes. He sends Jericho to the floor where Del Rio pops in and sends Jericho into the steps for the DQ at 5:45 shown of 9:15.

Rating: C. Just like last time this was a pretty decent match for the most part as the two of them had chemistry, but I’d like to talk for a minute about psychology. Sheamus has a bad arm, Jericho worked on the arm all match, and then he tried a back hold. I get that it’s his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the move that makes sense instead of the finisher.

Post match Del Rio puts Sheamus in the armbreaker but Orton comes out for the save. Del Rio takes all three finishers and Orton stares at Sheamus to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a great job at playing up the fourway with only Del Rio looking weak, which more or less guarantees that he’ll be walking out with the title. The short matches were annoying, but they got TEN matches on one show which has to be way up there on the lists of two hour shows. Not a terrible show but it was more for building up later shows than this one, which is annoying but understandable.

Results
Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio went to a double DQ
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Running Knee
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – YES Lock
Ryback b. Heath Slater – MuscleBuster
Antonio Cesaro b. Alex Riley – Gotch Style Neutralizer
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Little Jimmy
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Demolition Decapitator to Ryder
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Splash
Chris Jericho b. Sheamus via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and I don’t think much has been announced for the show. It’ll probably be more about RVD vs. Roode which hasn’t been built up all that well for the most part. I mean the material is there but it hasn’t really grabbed me yet. Either way the match is set for Sunday and it should be entertaining enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roode to open the show and say his usual stuff. I’m sure you know this speech by now. He took out Anderson, Hardy and RVD last week because he’s the champion and that’s what he does. He’ll be the longest reigning champion in 14 days and no one can stop him, especially not RVD on Sunday.

Cue RVD for a brawl with Roode going to the floor. RVD holds up the belt and Anderson comes out to beat up Roode too. Hardy comes in and it’s a 3-1 beatdown. Hardy and Anderson get in a fight because that’s what they do. Cue Hogan who has an idea for a fatal fourway tonight with everyone in the brawl in it. If Anderson or Hardy win, they get the RVD’s title match. If Roode wins, he can pick which of the three he wants to face. If RVD wins, he gets to pick the stipulation. RVD says cool let’s do it. Well at least it plays up to the Sacrifice name. Too bad this is IMPACT and not Sacrifice.

Ray isn’t worried about the tiny man known as Austin Aries. He says he’s going to take care of Aries tonight so stay tuned.

Gail is panicking about her match with Brook while Madison gets ready. Madison wants to look perfect for some guy but won’t say who.

Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Velvet sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Brooke sends her to the corner and shakes her hips. Ok then. They do some basic stuff until Brooke knocks her into the corner and uses her hips to ram Velvet’s face. Velvet comes back and hits a basement dropkick but In Yo Face is countered. Brooke hits a drop toehold to send her into the buckle and that belly to back mat slam for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D-. This was REALLY bad with both girls missing a lot of stuff. It looked like their stuff was missing too, which is what can usually be covered up by people with more talent than this. Also I get tired of the hip stuff quickly. We get it: you know how to shake your hips. Now do something else.

Gail comes out and Brook Eats Defeat.

AJ has no comment on the secret thing and is focused on Angle this Sunday.

Hardy is ready for the main event.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

Bully Ray jumps Morgan with the chain before Morgan can get into the ring. He adds in a chair shot to the head and says that’ll be Aries in a stoic voice. No match as Morgan is taken out on a stretcher.

Post break and Morgan is still being taken out. Crimson gets on the mic and says that week after week Morgan claims to be the man to break the streak. He makes the referee ring the bell and count to ten.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Ten count, 39 seconds.

RVD talks about Greek mythology and choosing the life of the hero instead of the long peaceful one.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries

Aries takes over to start with a seated dropkick and it’s out to the floor. Aries misses a double ax off the top rope and hits the barricade. Ion hits a big flip dive which gets two back in the ring. Backbreaker gets two. A middle rope moonsault gets knees so Aries clotheslines him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Ion out and back in, a Tajiri handspring leads to a back elbow on the mat for two. A pair of dropkicks sets up the brainbuster to retain at 4:16.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was basically a squash. Aries has zero competition and hasn’t for months, which makes these matches pretty dull as there’s no drama at all. It’s good that he’s moving up to the regular midcard but they need to get the title off of him. It’s not that hard to do it either but for some reason they keep waiting on it.

Kaz is worried about revealing the secret but Daniels says it’s ok.

RVD is ready for the win tonight and he’ll win the title on Sunday.

Quick recap on the latest incarnation of Daniels vs. AJ.

Daniels and Kaz are in the ring and Daniels invites AJ out to set the record straight. Cue AJ who says that this is a mistake but Kaz cuts him off. Kaz says that he protected AJ and then saw what was in the envelope and he stopped realizing why he was protecting AJ. Kaz opens the envelope and it’s a photo of AJ and Dixie Carter holding hands. AJ says so what so we get another of AJ with his hands on her face. The third is of them kissing. Daniels drops the pictures and leaves AJ stunned.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

D-Von clears the ring of Big Robbie to start and hits a Thesz Press with punches. Headbutt keeps E down but T pulls D-Von to the floor. That goes badly for the big guy and E gets clotheslined as he tries to jump D-Von. Spinebuster ends this in 1:13.

Robbie T powerslams D-Von post match to keep this feud going another week.

We go to Tennessee to hear from Storm about how he has no excuse to lose. He’s put a lot of work into everything on his farm and in wrestling and he’s never second guessed himself until now. He didn’t get the job done at Lockdown and it kills him.

If RVD wins, it’s a ladder match. Apparently this was revealed earlier.

Joseph Park needs help finding the ring.

D-Von challenges the Rob’s to a handicap match at Sacrifice.

We recap the Abyss Is Missing story and how Joseph is looking for him.

Here’s Joseph in the arena and he has issues getting in the ring. He says everyone here knows who he is and what he’s doing. Every lead he’s had has said find Bully Ray so he’s not going away. Joseph says that he might buy a ticket and come to Sacrifice on Sunday to watch the show. Why bother? You’ve walked into every show here for months now.

Ray comes out and yells, saying this isn’t a court room and that Joseph needs to get out. Joseph says that Ray lost to Abyss in Abyss’ last appearance, plus he lost to D-Von two weeks ago. Then last week a guy half of Ray’s size named Austin Aries beat Ray down. How is that bully thing working out for you Ray? Ray shoves Joseph down and leaves as Park smiles.

Anderson is looking forward to not having his match on Sunday.

We get a great moment in TNA history which is Hogan arriving and throwing The Band out.

Angle is ready for AJ.

We run down the Sacrifice card.

RVD is ready for Sacrifice.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

If Rob wins, Roode vs. Van Dam is a ladder match. If Roode wins, he gets to pick his opponent on Sunday. If Hardy or Anderson win, they get RVD’s spot. Everyone jumps Roode to start but Anderson shoves Hardy off. They fight to the floor so it’s RVD vs. Roode with the champ hitting a suplex as we take a break.

Back with Roode getting two off another suplex. Anderson comes back in and gets his spinning neckbreaker for two on RVD. Van Dam comes back with the split legged moonsault for the same result. He loads up the Rolling Thunder but Roode catches him in the spinebuster for two in a nice counter. Rob superkicks Roode into the corner but his monkey flip to Jeff is countered. Whisper in the Wind gets two on RVD. Rolling Thunder hits Hardy but Roode throws Van Dam to the floor. Twist of Fate and Mic Check to Roode followed by Anderson spearing Hardy to the floor. Five Star pins Roode at 8:30.

Rating: C-. That’s the longest match of the night and it ran less than nine minutes, about four of which were spent in a commercial. I don’t think anyone thought anybody but Van Dam was going to win here which is ok, but they should have set up the stipulation way earlier than this instead of waiting for three days to go before the PPV.

Post match RVD puts up a ladder and here’s Abyss on the stage. He whispers to the camera and says Joseph is getting too close to the fire and to back off before he gets burned.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t work for me for the most part. There was WAY too much talking and a lot of this felt like they were getting ready for TV later instead of the PPV on Sunday. That’s a major problem this company has: they book for TV instead of their major shows which doesn’t make much sense.

Why would anyone want to pay money (which is what TNA”s goal is: to make money) if the focus is on TV instead of the PPVs? Some of the matches got built somewhat ok, but adding a ladder stipulation to the title match three days early is a bad idea as you had a month you could have built that up with. Either way, not a good show heading into a filler PPV.

Results
Brooke Tessmacher b. Velvet Sky – Belly to Back Mat Slam
Crimson b. Matt Morgan via countout
Austin Aries b. Zema Ion – Brainbuster
D-Von b. Robbie E – Spinebuster
Rob Van Dam b. Jeff Hardy, Bobby Roode and Mr. Anderson – Five Star Frog Splash to Roode

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2001
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 7,730
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re past Unforgiven and the biggest detail is that we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Kurt Angle, who beat Austin in a pretty good match. We’re four weeks away from No Mercy and it’ll be the first show where things look even the slightest bit different in the main event picture. And then that’ll all mean nothing as it’ll be time for the Survivor Series and the end of the Alliance. Let’s get to it.

We open with Angle being announced as the new world champion and his family coming in to celebrate with him.

We’re waiting on Austin to arrive so in the meantime we’ll play a theme song.

Kane/Undertaker/Bradshaw vs. Dudley Boyz/Test

Kronik has been fired due to last night’s debacle so we have a new Alliance team for Undertaker and Kane to beat up. The Dudleys are WWF tag champions and Kane/Taker are the WCW counterparts. Bradshaw jumps Test to start and escapes the full nelson slam. Test absorbs some right hands and clotheslines Bradshaw down. Off to D-Von who gets slammed down and there’s a tag to Kane.

Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and the top rope clothesline puts him down even further. Big boot from Test changes momentum and gets two for D-Von. Kane gets beaten up on the floor a bit as Undertaker tries to help, thereby allowing more cheating. Bubba drops some ax handles for two. Test comes in and pounds on Kane but the Spaniard slugs back and tags in Undertaker. Everything breaks down and Taker avoids the 3D. Bubba gets taken down by the Clothesline and a Last Ride pins D-Von.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here with nothing going on at all. Undertaker looks strong which doesn’t really help anything. I guess this sets up Dudleys vs. Brothers but it doesn’t really make the big tough team look all that vulnerable. Also as usual, the match doesn’t mean anything past the latest win/loss for either side.

Stacy comes in to see Torrie and wants to know what she sees in Tajiri. Stacy thinks he’s short and not much of a man. Torrie says at least she has a man (does Stasiak ring a bell?) so Stacy says she can get one anytime she wants (Stasiak? His dad was world champion?) so a challenge is set up for later.

Christian arrives and Heyman thinks it’s Austin. Christian warns the security guard to be ready for the mob of people that will be here soon. Oh and go get his bags later. He talks to two people ignoring him and says that he’ll sign all their autographs post show.

Shane fires up the Alliance by saying Austin will be here later. He says Austin is still champion because his arm was under the rope. Booker and Shane got screwed by Hebner too, so tonight is about revenge. Stephanie pops in and thinks they’re all here for her birthday. You know, because they wouldn’t show up for work otherwise. Stephanie (looking GREAT again this week) says that tonight is about leadership and following the example of….RVD. Booker comes out of his pose to complain so it’s Booker vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. RVD for the WCW version.

Tajiri vs. Tazz

Tajiri kicks him down but walks into a Tazplex to take over. Tajiri comes back with the kicks and the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick connects but Stacy kisses Tajiri which lets Taz hook the Tazmission for the tap out.

Shane talks to Booker about how it’s time to move up to the WWF Title.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy

Rhyno won the title last night off Tajiri. Jeff speeds things up to start and sends it to the floor. Slingshot dropkick sets up a rana off the apron to take over. Back in the champion hits a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Jeff hits a flipping legdrop for two but walks into a belly to belly. Whisper in the Wind puts Rhyno down but the Swanton misses. The first Gore attempt misses but Jeff goes to the corner and when he lands, Rhyno kills him dead with the Gore to retain.

Rating: C. Rhyno was on a roll at this point and couldn’t have a bad match if he tried. He was great at the power matches and using that Gore to split people in half. He didn’t really have a character but he didn’t need one with his finisher. On top of that he added in some psychology with the constant rib work which makes perfect sense. Good stuff.

Hurricane tells Citizen Ivory and Citizen Storm that he’s glad they’re studying for the match. He also thinks Ivory is in danger and tells her to wait at the entrance. She leaves and Hurricane confides to Storm that he’s ready to take Holly on as his full time sidekick. He makes Storm do Wonder Twin Powers Activate in a funny bit.

Kanyon comes in to see RVD because he’s worried about Austin freaking out on him. Van Dam says just chill.

Ivory/Lance Storm/Hurricane vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley/Molly Holly

Spike is in a Show costume for no apparent reason. Show and Hurricane start things off and the masked man wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so he slaps Big Show, which gets him thrown across the ring. Off to Ivory and Molly with the latter hitting a northern lights suplex for two. Storm and Spike come in and things speed up a bit. Spike chases Hurricane around and gets kicked down by Lance coming back in. Hurricane and the cape come in with a cross body for two. Show comes in and cleans house but Ivory hits him low. Molly gets on Show’s shoulders for the Molly Go Round for the pin on Storm.

Rating: D+. Just turn Molly into a sidekick already and get it over with. It was clear that’s where they were going so just get it over with already. On top of that, Show needs something to do. He’s been doing nothing for months now and it’s getting a little tiring to sit here and watch him do nothing at all.

Earl Hebner comes in to see Shane, who yells at him about an apparent screwjob last night. We see a clip of Austin tapping out but being under the ropes. Hebner admits his mistake but says the decision stands. Shane is barred from ringside for Angle vs. Booker for some reason.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG USA chant goes up. You know Booker is an American too. Angle hits a quick overhead belly to belly for two. Booker grabs a headlock but Kurt grabs the ankle lock which is quickly broken. Angle goes for the ankle again but Booker hits an enziguri to take over. Booker drops a knee to what I think is a bad neck and stands around a lot. Off to a chinlock to take some time out of the match.

Kurt fights up and hits some elbows to the ribs but walks into a spinning forearm for two. Booker hits the ropes but walks into a belly to belly suplex and a belly to back gets two. Booker shoves off the referee to avoid the Slam and kicks Angle down. Belt shot puts Angle down for two. Bookend is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Ax kick misses and Kurt rolls through a suplex into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it wasn’t anything great. Booker jobbing again shouldn’t surprise anyone and I don’t think it did. He’s the biggest WCW star there was so of course he lost. That was another of the big issues with the Invasion: the Alliance guys were always second and third fiddles to the WWF guys.

Kanyon hits on Lita which is a lot more awkward in retrospect. She makes fun of his speech impediment.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian won the title last night. He makes fun of the former champion Edge pre-match and we get a solo Five Second Pose….or we would have if Jericho hadn’t interrupted. Jericho takes him down to start and chops away. Christian comes back with punches and knocks Jericho into the corner. Backbreaker gets two. Jericho hits the forearm and avoids a dropkick. Christian avoids the Lionsault and rolls to the floor. A bell shot draws the LAME DQ to end this. Nothing match.

Christian loads up the Conchairto but Jericho avoids it and hooks the Walls.

X-Pac is sitting in Regal’s chair when the Commissioner comes in. Pac complains about his lack of TV time despite having two titles. Regal rips into him and says that it’s Pac vs. Regal tonight.

We get America the Beautiful from last night which is by one of those women singers that basically screech the words but it’s called great for some reason.

Raven asks RVD for advice about how depressed he’s been lately. RVD suggests being more positive about being negative. Raven thanks him and leaves when Stephanie comes in. She says win and you’re the leader of the Alliance. Some mild sexual tension is teased.

Matt Hardy vs. Kanyon

Matt punches him down to start and hits a moonsault press for two. Kanyon takes him down and heads to hit on Lita, who slaps the taste out of his mouth. Back in Kanyon drives Matt’s head into the mat for two. Kanyon talks to Lita more and gets rolled up for two. A bad Russian legsweep by Matt puts both guys down. They go to the corner with Kanyon getting shoved down and the middle rope legdrop sends Kanyon to the outside. Lita hits her hurricanrana off the steps. Twist of Fate is countered and Matt is shoved into Lita. Flatliner gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and as usual it doesn’t mean anything. These one night made feuds and their resolutions were fine for filling in TV time but it didn’t help anything long term. This was just ok as Matt was nowhere near what he would become yet (take that for what you will) and Kanyon still didn’t mean much.

EXTREME CLOSEUP of DDP who is very positive now. He’s into the motivational speaker gimmick now.

We go to WWF New York with the Tough Enough finalists. The five finalists are Nidia, Taylor (cute but never did anything), Chris Harvard, Maven and Josh Matthews, who looks like more of a tool than he does now.

Rock brags about retaining the title last night and now he has RVD. As for Stephanie, if she cheats she’s going to get a birthday spanking. She’s 25 tonight. He singe a version of Happy Birthday to her as well: “Happy Birthday to Steph, you’re a ho with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if ya smell what the Rock is cooking.” Ok that was awesome.

William Regal vs. X-Pac

Regal knocks him down but gets caught in a suplex for two. Bronco Buster hits and Regal comes back with the Regal Cutter for the pin. What in the freaking world was the point of this?

WCW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Rock

Since Shane is barred from ringside for some reason, Stephanie comes out to watch the match. Rob counters a headlock and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Rock Bottom is countered as well and they head to the floor. A clothesline puts Van Dam down but Rob comes back with the spinning kick to Rock who is draped over the barricade. Back in the top rope kick gets two.

Rock grabs a belly to belly for two. Back to the floor and Rob loads up the announce table, only to get punched in the face for his troubles. Rock throws him onto the table but Van Dam bounces off of it. Back inside a spinebuster gets two. RVD kicks him down and tries the split legged moonsault but Rock moves. Stephanie slaps Rock into a rollup for two. Rock hits a DDT and the Sharpshooter goes on but Stephanie comes in again. He chases her up the aisle and throws her back in as Van Dam slams him down. He gets ready for the Five Star but Stephanie shoves the referee into the ropes. Rock Bottom gives Rock the win.

Rating: C-. We’ll continue the running theme tonight by talking about how this is another problem the Invasion had: this match wasn’t about RVD, it wasn’t about the WCW Title and it wasn’t about the Invasion. This match was about Stephanie and how The Rock wants to ruin her birthday. That’s a fun single night thing and the more I get to see mid-20s Stephanie the happier I am, but this doesn’t do a thing long term. It doesn’t set up a PPV match, it doesn’t give Rock a new challenge, it doesn’t do anything. That’s fine once in awhile, but this is like the fourth week in a row. That’s not good.

Austin never arrived.

Overall Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for me. It’s a total throwaway show with nothing happening and the whole thing being about Stephanie and her birthday with the usual world title matches that meant nothing at all. No Austin, so that went nowhere (nice bait and switch guys) and Angle and/or Rock have no opponents yet, so what was the point of this? Oh yeah, Stephanie is 25 now. Pointless show.

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NXT
Date: May 9, 2012
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

We’re in the south this week and allegedly there might be some new talent if you can believe Regal. Then again he’s a villain by nature so he’s likely not to be trusted. Also it’s apparent that Hawkins and Reks aren’t gone yet and therefore we’ll have to deal with that never ending saga for a few more weeks. Let’s get to it.

We throw it to Striker and Regal to start. Have they always had those ring skirts? Regal is going to address the attacks in the back the last few weeks. He doesn’t believe Watson had anything to do with it, and he’s also not sure if McGillicutty had anything to do with it. There’s new security tonight….and it’s Hawkins/Reks. Just because they’re fired, it’s no excuse not to plug their Twitters. Dang that sounds a lot dirtier than it really is.

They make fun of Striker for being kidnapped which causes Striker to lunge. Apparently if they’re good and win their match on Superstars this week, they’re on the track to getting reinstated. Regal threatens them to stay in line or being fired will be the least of their worries. Josh: “So apparently Hawkins and Reks are now the Avengers of NXT.” I love that movie but that line made my eyes roll.

Tamina Snuka vs. Maxine

Before the match Maxine says that this is about working together (this was set up by a tag match) and calls herself the New Maxine. Feeling out process to start and Maxine is knocked to the floor. She trips Tamina up and takes over back inside. A facejam gets two. There’s a full nelson and then a front guillotine choke by Maxine but Tamina sends her into the buckle to break. A side slam looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Maxine moves. A dragon sleeper with a body scissors gets the submission for Maxine at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Not much here and I’m really not sure why they were fighting other than they’re both women. Maxine is supposed to be “new” or whatever now, which means I guess we’re dropping the whole idea of her trying to blackmail Regal with those papers or whatever they were using last time. Eh not that it matters much as long as it was short.

Post match Maxine volunteers to be cuffed again.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG

This is the debut of JTG’s new look at the hands of Alicia Fox. He’s got a vest and regular trunks but the same music. Yoshi kicks him around to start but misses a charge in the corner. A clothesline gets two as does a modified Regal Cutter. Off to a neck crank but a knee drop misses. Yoshi rolls forward and hits a kick to the chest. JTG hits that spinning clothesline of his for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D. It’s just JTG. That’s the problem with him at the end of the day: there’s nothing different to him here other than his clothes are different and even that’s not a major change. He’s still annoying and nothing but being loud and from Brooklyn. I’m not a fan of the guy at all and this change isn’t helping any of my problems with him.

Raw ReBound sees Heyman returning and Cole acting like it’s a new stoplight in his hometown.

Curtis and Maxine run into Hawkins and Reks security. The security says let’s work together and if there’s an NXT left when this is all over, they’ll be on the same team. Reks gives them the key to the handcuffs. Striker comes in and calls Hawkins Terra Ryzing. Regal is watching and doesn’t seem to complain about this.

Watson and Kaitlyn are in the back and talking about the attacks. Bateman pops up and says Watson can’t be trusted. She complains about how much of a jerk Bateman has been since his match on Smackdown. A heel turn is the last thing Bateman needs after his last one bombed so hard. Kaitlyn walks away and hears a scream. She runs back and sees Bateman holding his knee, saying it wasn’t Watson.

Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis vs. Tyson Kidd/Percy Watson

McGillicutty and Kidd start things off and Kidd puts on a variety of holds to control quickly. Michael escapes an armbar and brings in Curtis, only for him to be pulled down into a hold of his own. Watson comes in for an armbar of his own but Curtis makes a blind tag. That gets his team nowhere as McGillicutty is sent to the floor along with Curtis. Kidd and Watson rule the ring as we take a break.

Back with Kidd holding McGillicutty in a chinlock. Kidd goes to the apron for a springboard but Curtis hooks the rope to send him down and into the heel corner. Michael keeps him on the mat with a chinlock. He backslides Kidd down and Curtis adds a slingshot legdrop onto Kidd for two. Cool double team move there. Suplex gets two for Curtis. Kidd gets up and turns up the speed, hitting a dropkick on McGillicutty and making the tag to Watson. He cleans house and avoids a splash in the corner before finishing McGillicutty with the Persecution at 8:05.

Rating: C. Just a main event of NXT tag match here with nothing of note to it. Kidd is still better than anyone else on the roster so having Watson get the win is more beneficial than having Kidd making McGillicutty or Curtis tap out again. Not a bad match or anything but it was just kind of there.

Post match Hawkins and Reks come out and say that Watson attacked Bateman and say he has to come with them. Watson says no so a brawl ensues and Watson is dragged out by Hawkins and Reks.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t as good as last week’s but it’s still far more entertaining than it was the past few months. I have a bad feeling this mystery attacker is going to wind up being Hawkins/Reks which is going to be dull in the end, but other than that the show’s stories have been a bit more interesting lately. Now if they can get that fresh talent in there it’ll be a lot better.

Results
Maxine b. Tamina Snuka – Dragon Sleeper
JTG b. Yoshi Tatsu – Spinning Clothesline
Percy Watson/Tyson Kidd b. Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Persecution to McGillicutty

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