Since most people probably forgot. Review up at 10pm EST.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2001
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s still the Invasion and we’re heading towards Summerslam in about three weeks. That takes a big back seat to the return of the Rock, who is back tonight after a long absence. Gee some things never really change do they. Anyway the wrestling tonight looks just ok. Oh wait I almost forgot: Angle won the WCW Title from Booker on Smackdown last week so there’s that too. The rematch is tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Vince reinstating the Rock. On Thursday there was a video was aired showing all of the horrible things Vince has done to Rock over the years.

Dreamer and Heyman come out with Tazz and throw Cole out of commentary so Heyman can take over. Tazz gets in the ring and says Booker gets the title back tonight and Rock joins the Alliance after that. Jericho interrupts him and has a mic in hand. He says he’s tired of hearing from the voice of the Alliance and that Tazz shouldn’t be staring in Tough Enough but rather Jackass.

Tazz vs. Chris Jericho

Lionsault, 35 seconds. There was an escaped Tazmission in there too.

There’s a bunch of decorations in Vince’s office for Rock. Regal and Tajiri come in with some pies. Vince says Rock likes other kind of pie, and besides the blueberry pie is missing a slice. They accuse Tajiri of taking it so he pops up his own eyebrow. Yeah he stole it. Regal tells Tajiri to bugger off and go win the Hardcore Title. Vince: “I don’t think blueberry pie and Hardcore Titles go well together.” Regal: “My mother used to say the exact same thing.” Get Regal his own show. Please.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Tajiri

They trade some kicks but none connect. RVD does the finger point so Tajiri KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Out to the floor and Van Dam hits a flip dive for two. Rob gets a chair but Tajiri hits his handspring to kick it into Van Dam’s face, getting two on the floor. Rob goes up and gets crotched but is caught in the Tree of Woe.

Tajiri puts two chairs in Rob’s face and hits a baseball slide for two. Handspring elbow is countered by Tajiri counters into a German suplex for two. Tajiri hooks some freaky rolling body scissors/hammerlock/Koji Clutch combo. Van Dam hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam and a middle rope moonsault for two. The chair is put on Tajiri and the Five Star crushes him to keep the title in the Alliance.

Rating: B-. This was really entertaining. Tajiri was incredibly awesome at this point and some of his stuff still impresses me today. That handspring into the chair was great. Rob’s selling was a bit lacking, but it’s a hardcore match so that’s to be expected. Fun stuff and I’d love to see more from these two.

The Alliance has a welcome home party for Rock as well. Austin brought Rock his own cooler and Debra brings her famously bad cookies. Booker comes in and is nervous. Nick Patrick comes in and says Rock is about five minutes away. Austin yells at Booker not to use the Spinarooni but Booker keeps looking at the cookies. He tries one and almost gets sick.

Vince goes to greet Rock but runs into Big Show who has a few ideas to pitch to Vince. He and Gunn are now a team and he has some names to pitch. The first is Show Gunns which Vince isn’t thrilled with. The Big Gunns, the Show Bills and Big Billy Show Gunns are also suggested but Vince gets tired of hearing it. He says call yourselves Double Trouble Crap on a Stick. Show likes it. And we’ll be moving on.

Video on how Angle won the WCW Title on Thursday.

Angle talks about Mary Lou Retton and says he’s better than Booker. He also makes fun of Booker for crying after losing the title. Angle is also better than Austin and wants to fight him at Summerslam.

All three McMahons are here to greet Rock. There are photographers as well. The limo pulls up and it’s Kanyon who has been awarded the US Title by Booker.

Hurricane Helms/Torrie Wilson vs. Matt Hardy/Lita

Anything good in this match would result in Torrie staying on the apron and looking good. Naturally she starts with Lita and helps Helms with a double suplex. We finally bring in Matt and he gets two off a clothesline. Lita hits running clotheslines in both corners. Helms throws Lita to the floor but his superkick is countered. Litarana and Twist of Fate get two as Torrie saves. Another Twist puts Helms down but Torrie hits him low so a small package can pin Hardy.

Rating: D. Torrie had a great smile but she had little business in a wrestling match. Stacy and Torrie as the female Alliance representatives never worked at all, especially against Lita and an improving Trish. Not a horrible match but it should have been one on one.

Austin fires up Booker but Booker has a stomach ache. Booker thinks it’s butterflies but Austin says it’s the cookies.

Test is very sweaty and says he didn’t like being branded a traitor. He’s with the WWF.

WCW World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG pop for Angle. Angle meets him in the aisle and this is No DQ. The Alliance runs in and beats Angle down before the bell, including a Gore by Rhyno. The WWF guys run in and beat down the Alliance guys. Shane and Booker are hiding in the crowd. Booker’s eyes bugging out are hilarious. After a break Angle is in big trouble on the floor. I’m not sure if the bell has rung yet or not.

There’s the bell and an answer to my question. Back in and Angle hammers away but Shane comes in. Booker hits a jumping superkick and Angle is right back down. German Suplex is countered by a low blow by Booker. Booker drops a knee and a clothesline gets two. A slam sets up a chinlock but Angle gets up, only to be sent into the corner and stomped down again.

Angle fights back with right hands and snaps off a German. We cut to the back and there’s a big brawl with the WWF guys dominating the Alliance. Shane slides a chair into Booker but Angle avoids the swing. Angle hits some forearms and a German for two. There’s the Angle Slam and the fans erupt. Ankle Lock goes on and here’s Austin who takes a right hand as well. The distraction lets Booker hit the Axe Kick but there’s no referee. Shane calls in an Alliance referee who gets two. Robinson (WCW referee) goes down and Booker does too from an Angle Slam. Stunner to Angle and the WWF referee counts the pin.

Rating: B. Angle looks strong still and Booker gets his first major win here. Throw in the Austin vs. Angle feud being advanced and this was a very successful match. The storylines aside, this was entertaining and fast paced with the No DQ stipulation helping things since this way we don’t have to have some stupid excuse for all the insanity.

Austin runs to the back and drives away.

Angle runs into Debra with the cookies. THEY SUCK. Someone finally tells her. Angel telling Debra that her cookies suck got a big pop. Do you get how hot this crowd is for Angle?

Kanyon/Lance Storm vs. Edge/Christian

Storm says he enjoys a good party but hates these constant offbeat shenanigans from Edge and Christian. The brothers (I think they still were at this point) jump the Alliance and we’re under way. The regular team makes Storm drop an elbow on Kanyon but Kanyon grabs a crucifix with Storm hitting a PERFECT dropkick to knock Christian down into it for two.

Christian plays Ricky Morton (the hair is close enough) and the heels work him over. Suplex gets two for Kanyon. Kanyon hooks Colt Cabana’s Billy Goat’s Curse while Storm drops a fist from the top into the back of Christian. Kanyon comes back in but Christian escapes a belly to back suplex and hits the reverse DDT. There are the tags to Edge and Storm and the Spear gets two. Everything breaks down and Storm brings in a title but walks into the Edgecution. Kanyon comes in and hits a Flatliner on Edge onto the belt and Storm gets the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Not a great match or anything but it was ok enough. These matches have been really lackluster tonight other than the match with the top guys. The problem is that these matches don’t really gain anything for anyone. Then again the Rock is the whole point to this so we’re filling in time until then.

Angle jumps the Alliance.

Regal tells Vince Rock is coming and confirms the license number of the car Vince sent for Rock, making Vince very happy.

Cruiserweight Title/Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

Title for title. Pac tries to throw him in the air but Kidman hits a great rana to take over. Pac sends him outside and hits a great flip dive to take over. They chop it out and Pac is launched into the post. Back in and Kidman goes up top. A top rope splash misses and X-Pac hits a few spin kicks. Powerbomb gets two and the Bronco Buster hits. Pac jumps into a dropkick for two and they trade rollups. Kidman’s corner walking bulldog is countered and X-Pac goes up. Kidman tries to meet him up there but Pac counters into an X-Factor off the top rope. That looked great and it unifies the titles.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from guys that know how to work together. They needed a lot more than four minutes but they could have done somet

hing interesting with more time. The unification would be gone pretty soon as there was another unification match at Survivor Series which got rid of the Light Heavyweight Title all together.

The McMahons and Regal wait with the photographers but this time it’s The Fink. Why is the Fink arriving at Raw with about 35 minutes left? Oh ok he was supposed to go pick up Rock but he couldn’t understand the directions.

Vince says he’ll wait on Rock in the ring.

We look at last week when Sara got knocked out by an Undertaker chair shot.

The Dudleys asked for a tables match with Kane/Undertaker because he’s vulnerable. Sara goes through a table tonight. They say that Sara isn’t safe at home or in the back either.

We cut to the Rocky statue and the Rock is looking up at it. Cool visual.

Dudley Boys vs. Kane/Undertaker

Tables match. The brawl starts on the floor until we get down to Kane beating on D-Von in the ring while the other two fight outside. Top rope clothesline puts D-Von down. I’m not sure if you need one or both to go through a table to win here. Taker and Bubba are in the ring now. The Dudleys double teak the Dead Man and the reverse 3D puts him down.

A table is brought in but so is Kane. D-Von is left alone with Taker who loads up a chokeslam, but Nick Patrick shoves the table away. Page runs in with a low blow and they load up a superbomb for Sara through the table. She holds Bubba off until Kane and Taker get bac up and Ray is chokeslamed through the table for the victory for the tall brothers.

Rating: D. The match sucked but it was there to fill in some time and I guess kid of almost advancing the Taker vs. DDP feud. Can you really even call it a feud when DDP hasn’t won a single round of it? Not a horrible match but again it was more filler for the ending of the show with Rock.

Rock is here.

All three McMahons are in the ring. Here he is. Shane talks first, talking about how Vince screwed both at Wrestlemania and the night after. Vince even screwed Rock at Wrestlemania 16. Vince admits that he’s made mistakes including backing Austin against Rock. Vince isn’t offering an apology for the past because he wants to talk about the future. He says he might screw Rock again in the future if it’s good for business. That’s the truth and Vince is the devil Rock knows as opposed to the devils he doesn’t know. Vince says listen to the people.

The people cheer and Vince says Rock’s future is with the people and the WWF. Shane says the Alliance is the future and where the people are going to be. Rock hasn’t said a word this whole time. Vince says give the people what they want and Rock lays out Vince with a Rock Bottom. Shane celebrates and Rock stares him down. Shane shakes Rock’s hand but is pulled into a Rock Bottom. Rock grabs the mic and says FINALLY, the Rock has come back……to the WWF. Shane gets an elbow.

Overall Rating: B. Better show but like I said, almost everything was just setting up the ending. To be fair though, that trumps everything else. I’m not wild on Angle having a four day reign but it gives Booker the first big win in the WWF which he needed. This was one of the better shows in awhile but they needed to actually go somewhere with the story, which they weren’t really doing.

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Ziggler seems to be ok and even worked a dark match with Punk. Barrett has a dislocated elbow. No word on missing time or if he has a broken arm also. Cody and Truth were banged up as well but it doesn’t look to be too bad.

Monday set a new record for views here. I couldn’t believe the final numbers when I saw it. The main record I had stood for about 9 months and there’s been a new high mark set almost every month now. Thanks for your continued support and I’ll keep putting stuff up as long as you guys want me to.

KB

Clash of the Champions 23
Date: June 16, 1993
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

GAH I can’t get away from this time period in WCW can I? This really is an awkward phase for the company as they were really transitioning from the NWA days to their own world. The problem was that no one knew what their own world was. Hogan would show up in about a year though to at least give the company direction.

This is a mere three days after Hogan left WWF in case you were wondering. The main event is Flair and Anderson vs. the Hollywood Blondes for the tag belts so there you are. Let’s get to it.

Flair is back. Orndorff is hurt. Good to know.

Ron Simmons vs. Dick Slater

This was supposed to be Simmons vs. Orndorff but the injury stopped that. Simmons is over as all goodness. I’m skeptical about a guy named Dirty Dick. Who in their right mind decided to book Orndorff as a champion in the mid 90s? Simmons is a former world champion and Slater is Slater so what do you think is going to happen here? Orndorff botches interference and there’s your powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D. Nowhere near enough time to be anything here. It was supposed to be a big title match I guess but at the end of the day, Dick Slater was a joke to say the least and against Simmons it was going to be domination and that’s all it ever could be.

We go to Larry and Eric who talk to….Michael Buffer??? They’re interviewing the ring announcer for crying out loud. Oddly enough he comes off like he knows what he’s talking about instead of like he’s reading generic lines off a script. Most interesting indeed.

Steven Regal vs. Marcus Bagwell

If you’re not familiar with them go with their last names. For the life of me I can’t get over that Bill Dundee is Sir William. Seeing Regal in something resembling shape is amazing. Seeing Bagwell as a guy without an attitude is even more amazing. He’s the rookie wonder at this point so this was a big match for him. He’s in some joke of a tag team with Scorpio at this point. Oh and there’s an NWA Title match tonight.

They’ll be gone in less than three months. Jesse says rugby is tougher than football. And to think I would have voted for him for President. Regal has barely been here at all so Bagwell might be more known. Oh dear. They announce that on Saturday a woman will be in Cleveland looking for Cactus Jack.

If you ever want to see what might be the dumbest storyline in WCW history, and let that sink in for a minute, look that one up. Scratch that about Regal. This is just his first live TV match. Regal gets a rollup out of nowhere to get the pin….to a big pop? Well that was different.

Rating: C+. Uh, yeah. This was over before it started and I barely remember it happening to be honest. I know that’s weird to say but it was almost over before it even started in my mind. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at the same time there wasn’t much here. Decent stuff though.

Maxx Payne has stolen the Badd Blaster from Johnny. Oh dear. He says he wants respect. And Payne blasts it in his face. Aww poor Johnny looking all screwed up now.

There was supposed to be a match here but now Payne wins by forfeit. Z-Man, one of the most interesting cases ever, comes out to beat up Maxx for what he did. Z-Man is the guy that worked for WWF in the late 80s, actually opening Mania 3 with Rick Martel in the team that would become Strike Force after he left. He more or less was fine one day and quitting the next, allegedly over money. He was ok in WCW but would likely be gone soon after this. He winds up tapping anyway.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

This could be bad but it could be good. Windham was just holding the title for a little while before Flair got it back in about a month. Jesse asks what kind of name Scope is. Jesse brings up that he was in the Navy and Norfolk is a naval town so he’s happy here. No one believes Windham has any chance of losing here as Scorpio was young, talented and over so of course the NWA can’t let him have the belt. That’s Flair’s belt dang it.

Jesse wants to know who Jordan is betting on tonight. That’s a great line. Scorpio kicks out of a leaping, and I use that term loosely, DDT. Hey! Wanna know how Badd is? Call the Hotline and find out! Yes, we’ll not only give out private medical records, we’ll charge you for them! Windham punches the heck out of Scorpio and this is pretty one sided.

Fans are into it though so that works. In a very cool move, Scorpio is on the apron and hits a slingshot, note that it’s not a springboard, 450. Scorpio’s comeback is very good but in the end he gets caught just like you would expect him to. The Leaping DDT ends it.

Rating: B. This was way better than it should have been. When Scorpio wasn’t fat and was actually motivated, he could go with anyone and that’s what he did here. Solid match all around although the ending sucked to a fairly large extent just out of boringness.

Bischoff is with Sting, Dustin Rhodes and Davey Boy Smith who are in a big six man tonight. They talk to the people they don’t like. Simple and not very effective. Sting gets a huge pop.

Vader/Sid/Rick Rude vs. British Bulldog/Sting/Dustin Rhodes

This should be train wreckish. Vader is world champion here in case you were wondering. Sting is as over as is humanly possible. It’s bordering on scary. Sting and Rude start it off and the heat is great. Apparently Rude stole the US Title and won’t give it back. Oh I remember this: there was no champion for like four months and WCW saw nothing wrong with this at all.

Sting is beating up all three guys at once. That’s just amusing. We have Sid vs. Bulldog now, which would have been a showdown in 1992 WWF to say the least. In a cool looking sequence, Dustin just beats the living tar out of Vader and beats him down. Now I haven’t seen this since it aired, but I would bet anything on the heels winning, just based on WCW’s booking. It’s been about 6-7 minutes of domination so the other team will win in the end. I mean the heels have had NOTHING.

Ah there we go: Vader beats up Goldust. Those two followed each other over the years for some reason. They feuded in WWF and were the mystery opponents brought in to fight Austin at a Cyber Sunday. The Vader Bomb hits but it means nothing yet. Dustin is taking a beating here, meaning he’ll be fine soon enough.

Yep, I didn’t even finish that line before his comeback. See how predictable this company is? LET THE SCREW UPS BEGIN! Race hits Dustin with the briefcase that the US belt is in and Rude gets the pin. Yep I was right again.

Rating: D+. This was your standard main event level tag match. It’s not like anything was settled here and it’s not like it was anything great. Decent enough stuff though I guess. It set up the later matches and showdowns if nothing else, but it was way too predictable.

Tag Titles: Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Hollywood Blondes

I have NO clue what that music the challengers are coming out to. This is Flair’s first match back in WCW. The Blonds really were underrated. Buffer does the big match intro and this is 2/3 falls. Flair gets a solid but not incredibly loud yet LONG pop. The Blonde have over 100 title defenses? Apparently this is for the NWA tag titles also. Oh that’s right they’re unified at this point. Oh wait that’s not right.

It’s just that no one cared about the NWA. That’s right. They’ve had 100 defenses in just over three months? That’s most impressive. This had actually gotten some build with the rather funny Flair for the Old segment setting this up. Good night Flair is over. How could they not just run Flair vs. Sting and made a boat load of money? See Hogan, Hulk. Flair gets a massive pop and it’s Flair vs. Austin. If this was five years later, the money for that match would have financed a small country.

To my complete and utter shock, Anderson works on the arm. This is very solid stuff here with the faces dominating for the majority of the match but not all of it which is a nice perk. Anderson is beaten down with the champions working on the knee. Flair gets the red hot tag even though nothing is going to end here. Flair gets the pin on Pillman off a quick shot. This is formula tag stuff but it’s working well.

Jesse points out how bad it was of the challengers to go 2/3 falls as they would be champions otherwise. Jesse is absolutely right. They’re working on Arn’s knee quite well so they’re thinking this one out I guess. Flair gets another hot tag and goes for the Figure Four on Austin but here’s Windham for the DQ.

And it’s a Dusty Finish as even though they won two straight falls, the titles can’t change hands on a DQ. Paul Roma runs down for the save. Oy vey. Windham says he’ll be ready for Flair. The match wound up sucking as NO ONE bought Windham as a world champion.

Rating: B+. If this has a clean finish it’s an A- minimum. Just a great old school tag match between two great teams. It’s nearly twenty minutes too so it got a lot of time and it paid off. WCW did manage to realize when they had a good match ready to go and could let them just do it and that’s what they did here.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show I thought. They set up the Beach Blast PPV pretty well although it had a month to go so it wasn’t all ready yet. It’s fun to be able to see the build and the payoff for it though as I’ve reviewed the PPV as well. Either way this was solid stuff with some good matches, although the show does drag a bit at times. Still worth checking out though.

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According to the Observer, in the battle royal Barrett apparently hurt his arm badly and was injured worse when Santino landed on him while being eliminated.  No word on Ziggler’s injury.

No word on how bad it is yet.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 20, 2012
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s on to Ventura Country as we have six Raws to go before Wrestlemania. After last night, nothing has really changed. Cena beat Kane and Punk kept the title, so I’m not really sure what all I can say to fill in this space. Oh Undertaker will officially be on Raw tonight to confront HHH about a potential Wrestlemania match. That’s about all I’ve got so let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Cena/Kane/Ryder/Eve and that whole ordeal.

Eve and the Bellas are in the back and the Bellas are upset. Eve laughs off calling Ryder a great guy and talks about how she used him to get everyone talking about her. Now she’s got the big fish (Cena) on the hook and tonight she’s going to get him. She tells the Bellas to film her going into his locker room. Eve turns to leave and walks into Cena who walks away with a chuckle on his face.

Here’s Cena to the arena but before he can say anything Eve comes out. She says it was taken out of context but Cena cuts her off. She says they were friends and Cena said she cost him a friend in Ryder. Cena: “You made me lose a broski for a hoski.” And yes there’s a Hoski chant. Cena says she should hold out for Rock instead because they’re both scandalous and will use whoever it takes to get what they want.

Eve gets on her knees and cries as the fans chant a combination of Hoski and Rock. She jumps up and awkwardly hugs him but the referees pull her off. He says he’s disease free and would like to keep it that way. The fans chant Woo Woo Woo You Know It as she leaves in tears.

Smackdown is LIVE tomorrow night. Awesome.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Now here’s an opener for you. Sheamus vs. Bryan is official for Mania. Henry pounds him down in the corner to start but Sheamus fights back. He hits the top rope shoulder block for two. Hoeski is trending worldwide which makes me smile. Sheamus hits the forearms to the chest with the Wrestlemania sign above him in a cool visual. Henry pounds him down again and this a few splashes in the corner. Sheamus has some BIG red marks on his back. He escapes the World’s Strongest Slam and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:13.

Rating: B-. Not a horrible power match here, especially if Henry is just now getting back to full strength after his injury. Also that’s the first time I can remember Sheamus pinning Henry clean which is a good touch, especially after they split some matches last year. This was good for Sheamus to get a win over a big name.

Ace and Otunga are talking about the Chamber being a success when Teddy comes in. He says this isn’t his home and if it was, he wouldn’t be hanging with them. Ace says he didn’t know those three would come out last night. Teddy likes the idea of one of them running both brands. He says we should ask the WWE Universe. Ace says he doesn’t care about what the people think. It’s about what the Board of Directors thinks.

Ace rubs in that he’s taller than Teddy so Teddy calls him a pile of manure. There’s a ten man battle royal and the winner gets the title shot at Wrestlemania. Seriously, THAT’S IT? Also Otunga vs. a Smackdown guy tonight. Oh and Otunga looks like Pee Wee Herman’s fairy godmama in that bowtie.

HHH will talk to Undertaker later. This is set to……my goodness it’s set to Memory Remains by Metallica. I can’t believe I heard that on Raw.

Rock is here next week.

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Primo/Epico

Non-title here. Hopefully Kofi doesn’t get stuck in another tag team. Truth and Epico start us off and a clothesline gets two for Truth. Truth does nothing of note until the champs take over with some double teaming. Off to Kofi who cleans house with his high flying. Boom Drop to Primo but Epico distracts Kofi and guillotines him on the top. Not that it matters as Trouble in Paradise ends this in 2:20.

Jericho says he wasn’t eliminated last night. Jericho looks old here. He wants to know how Punk can claim to be champion after that. Tonight is the end of the world and he’ll prove it in the battle royal.

David Otunga vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Well it is Black History Month. Otunga takes him down but Jackson hits his clotheslines. A splash misses and Jackson hits the post. Otunga’s spinebuster ends this in 1:36. Otunga’s music is awful.

We recap the HHH/Shawn stuff from last week. Undertaker is coming next but we only see his shoes.

Here’s Undertaker and I’m curious as to what the new look is like. He has a hood over his head but there doesn’t appear to be much hair underneath it. Taker looks skinny here. He talks about how bad it’s been having to spend the last year thinking about Wrestlemania. Taker talks about how this needs to happen one more time because the apocalypse of their generation of wrestlers is here. This is bigger than the two of them.

Here’s HHH who gets cut off quick. Taker says HHH’s excuses are pitiful and they have to do this. HHH says their fate is to continue this forever. HHH is here to make sure there’s a WWE in the future and Taker is here to be the leader. He won’t be the one to extinguish the torch Undertaker carries. He goes to leave but Taker calls him back. Taker wants to know if it’s bad for business if HHH is gone.

HHH says Taker knows it’s bad for business or whatever. Taker isn’t asking for redemption or vengeance or whatever. He’s asking for an end. Taker wants HHH to finish him but HHH will not be the one that does it. Taker says at the end of the day all HHH is going to see in the mirror is a coward. HHH goes off but just as he’s about to accept the match he catches himself. It’s still no. HHH gets out of the ring and Taker says that HHH knows he couldn’t do it because Shawn couldn’t do it, and HHH knows Shawn was always better than him.

That makes HHH take the jacket and tie off and get back in. He says this isn’t about being better than Shawn because HHH knows he can finish Undertaker. The fans chant prove it and HHH says he’s more certain than ever before. It’s officially on. If they do this, they go all the way: Hell In A Cell. NOW THERE’S A TWIST.

Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella

A big Santino chant starts it off and he loads up the Cobra quickly. Santino tries a rollup but gets caught in the LeBell Lock and it’s over at 54 seconds.

Kelly Kelly/Aksana vs. Bella Twins

Kelly starts but it’s off to Aksana quickly. That’s Nikki in there to start. She tries to throw Aksana to the floor but manages to fall out herself. Twin Magic and an X-Factor pins Aksana at 2:20.

We come back from a break with Cena in the ring. He wants to talk about The Rock who isn’t here yet but he’ll be here next week. Cena doesn’t like the Rocky chants anymore because Rock has become Dwayne. Rock has a team around him now instead of doing things for himself. Cena congratulates Rock for all of his success but he’s got a real problem with Dwayne Johnson. This isn’t about promoting a movie and he knows his movies were horrible. The one thing about Cena that lets him sleep at night: he always showed up and he never left.

As for Dwayne, the first chance he had he was gone. Then Rock came back a year ago and said he’d never leave again and then he left again. Cena says he’ll get fined for this but the only reasons Rock came back were to promote Fast Five and launch his Twitter account. Cena is here to fight for everyone behind that curtain who wants to be a superstar and stay a superstar. This is for people who say they’re proud to be a professional wrestler.

The greatest thing about April first is April 9th when Rock will be on a movie set watching his stunt double. Rock is going to have to kill him to beat him and the headline is going to say John Cena defeats Dwayne Johnson in his hometown at Wrestlemania 28. See you next week movie star. WOW.

Punk comes out in the suit jacket to do commentary for the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Cody Rhodes, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Wade Barrett, Great Khali, The Miz, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho, Santino Marella

The winner gets Punk at Wrestlemania. Punk says Jericho’s entrance reminds him of a Lite Brite and he even sings the song. Ziggler has what appears to be a pink shirt tied around his waist. Everyone goes after Big Show almost immediately but it turns into a mod eliminating Khali. We take a break with nine remaining.

Back and Punk shouts Cole down saying that they’re back. I don’t think anyone has been eliminated. Kofi winds up on the apron and pulls Miz out there with him. They fight on the apron and Miz tries to throw Kofi back in for no apparent reason. Truth goes after him as well and Ziggler (minus the pink shirt) almost goes out. Cody and Wade try to put Show out but it doesn’t come close.

Show stands on Ziggler and Miz is thrown to the apron but he slides back in. He charges at Kofi and Truth but lands on the apron AGAIN. A double dropkick finally puts him out to an ERUPTION. Show looks at Kofi and Truth and hits a double chokeslam. Jericho grabs a Codebreaker out of nowhere. Zig Zag to Jericho and Cross Rhodes to Jericho. Winds of Change to Cody and Santino dumps Wade! And Truth! And then he gets his head kicked off by Dolph.

Show throws Ziggler whose head slams into the table in a SICK bump. Ok so it’s Show, Santino, Rhodes, Jericho, and Kofi. The announcers call for help for Dolph and we get an X. I think he might be legit hurt as that was a scary landing. Barrett’s arm might be messed up too. Kofi goes up top but Jericho shoves him off and Kofi’s feet hit the steps. Referees are running out to help Dolph and it looks bad.

There are four left. Jerry says he thinks Barrett has a broken arm and doesn’t sound like he’s kidding/kayfabing. Punk: “This has no bearing on anything but one of the EMTs looks like Rock N Roll Buck Zumhof.” There’s a stretcher for Ziggler. Show gets taken down by finishers and Santino loads up the Cobra and hits Jericho with it but Cody dumps him to get us down to three. Show throws out Rhodes and chops Jericho down. Rhodes grabs Show’s leg and Jericho’s throat. There are still EMTs with Ziggler. Jericho chokes Show to the apron and Rhodes helps get him out at 12:22. It’s Jericho vs. Punk at Wrestlemania.

Rating: C+. Other than Barrett breaking his arm and Ziggler apparently dying, this was a better than average battle royal. Apparently WWE needs more Buck Zumhof references. Jericho winning was obvious but at times there’s nothing wrong with that. Good match and good that the world championship closed the show.

Post match Punk gets in the ring and offers a handshake but Jericho says no and leaves.

Overall Rating: A. The wrestling wasn’t there (other than a downright nifty Sheamus vs. Henry match) but this was about launching us into Wrestlemania mode and they did that like I can’t remember in a very long. The build for the HHH/Taker match and the Rock vs. Cena match is incredible and the two title matches will be fine as well. I’m ready for Wrestlemania and that’s exactly what this show was supposed to be. Great stuff and I can’t wait for it. Oh and Cena – 5, Rock – 0.

Results
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Epico/Primo – Trouble in Paradise to Primo
David Otunga b. Ezekiel Jackson – Spinebuster
Daniel Bryan b. Santino Marella – LeBell Lock
Bella Twins b. Aksana/Kelly Kelly – Bella Buster to Aksana
Chris Jericho won a battle royal last eliminating Big Show

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Thoughts?  Eulogies for Ziggler?

After one of the longest mutual praise segments I’ve ever seen, HHH said yes, but they’re going all the way. The match is HELL IN A CELL. My jaw dropped open.

Thoughts?

Can’t say I’m complaining. How he went in after Koko B. Ware is another story though.