It’s that time again.This is an interesting show on paper.  I’m genuinely stumped as to who is winning the world title, but I think I’ll take Roode to retain.  I know the fun pick is Bully Ray, but even with his awesome heel run, it’s a dagger to the common fans.  Storm I just don’t see getting it back yet and I think they’ll save Hardy to win it at Lockdown.

Give me AJ over Kaz but not without shenanigans.

New tag/X Champs.

Gunner vs. Garrett…..someone check on me during that one to make sure I didn’t hang myself.

Picks/thoughts?

I’ve been getting a ton of requests for shows from this series lately so just to clarify: once I get done with the No Mercy reviews, I’ll be doing the Backlash reviews in order as I always do. Those are the only two series I have left in WWE and I’ll be doing Backlash 2006 as the final WWE PPV review.

USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: August 25, 1989
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance, Frank Dusek

I’m missing the August 18 episode so don’t bother looking for it. From what I can tell though there was a big tag match with Eric Embry and Chris Adams beating up some bad guys. I liked what I saw last time so maybe this is going to be good as well. If this is what I think it is, it’s not Mick Foley’s finest hour. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from the tag match I mentioned and like last week we have to wait to find out the winner.

Akbar introduces the newest member of Devastation Inc: Taurus Bulba, who was with them two weeks ago.

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Scott Braddock

The referee is in a traditional outfit today instead of the blue shirt he was in last week. Funk slams Braddock to start and dropkicks him to the floor. We hear about Chris Adams getting screwed by Tojo Yamamoto or something like that and he has to stay wherever Tojo is. Funk hits a move like an Angle Slam and grabs the arm. Funk keeps control of the arm Eric Embry has won the Texas Heavyweight Title. Short Arm Scissor goes onto Braddock. He tries a rollup with tights but the referee slaps him in the head instead of brawling.

This has been ALL Funk so far. Funk stays on the arm as we talk about Akbar vs. Embry. Basically Akbar is putting all of his guys against Embry in Loser Leaves Town matches with the theory that he has to lose sometime. Braddock kind of hot shots Funk to counter a Thesz Press. Backbreaker gets two. Braddock hammers away and hooks a chinlock. A double clothesline puts both guys down.

They get up at the same time and Funk kicks him in the ribs to take over. There’s an atomic drop and Funk pounds away on the head of Braddock. Braddock knocks him to the floor and sets for a superplex to bring Funk back in. Funk manages to slingshot over his back and rolls him up for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was a lot more energetic than I was expecting it to be. Funk is a guy I’ve seen some of and usually he’s awful in WWF. Here though he’s not bad. He’s not a ring general or anything like that, but he’s certainly pretty ok with a great example of that right here. This was a nice surprise.

Percy Pringle talks about taking down the World Class banner and having the board behind them now. He calls Akbar a raghead. It was a different time.

We go to a segment from a few days ago. Tojo and P.Y. Chu-Hi (the guy Embry beat in the cage) were mad about Chu-Hi losing a match in 9 seconds to Embry. They went after Chris Adams’ wife and abused her. Whatever they did is covered by a graphic that says censored. Adams finally came out for the save. Adams has said not to suspend the Japanese guys because he’s going to do something about it himself. His wife’s name is Toni Adams in case that name comes up later.

Eric Embry vs. Cactus Jack Manson

This is loser leaves town. Embry wins in 12 seconds with a backslide. Somehow that’s not his fastest match this week. Foley would head off to WCW after this.

Devastation Inc leaves Jack alone in the ring.

Gary Young talks about the Devastation Inc trainees. They’re with him here but their names aren’t important enough to mention.

Jerry Lawler, the Unified World Heavyweight Champion, says that while there are other people that call themselves World Champion, he’s the real one. He even mentions the companies by name and says that Flair and Hogan are only company champions because they only fight guys in their own companies. Lawler however is champion in multiple companies so he’s the true champion. Ok then.

Video on Embry, mainly of him getting destroyed. Then he got awesome and won a cage match.

Gary Young/Al Perez vs. Matt Borne/Billy Joe Travis

Borne and Perez are starting and Borne takes him down pretty easily. They switch off as Akbar runs his mouth some more. Travis works on the arm which is a very common move in this company. They trade punches and Perez takes over. Young comes in and has pink hair. More arm work takes him down and Borne comes in. We go to a break with the arm work continuing.

Back with guess what: more arm work. Things speed up and Borne actually does something different in the form of a powerslam. Young tries to tag Travis and we almost lose a cameraman. Borne and Travis cheat but they’re popular so it’s all ok right? Perez pulls the top rope down to send Travis to the outside.

He gets thrown back in so Perez throws him back outside again. Everything breaks down and Young drops a knee for two on Travis. Back to Perez and it breaks down again. Akbar hits Young with a chair by mistake but since there’s no ref there’s no count. A brass knucks shot puts Travis down and Young gets the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match with the arm work going on way too long. That seems to be a theme here in tag matches and I’m not wild on it. The brawling was fun and it’s kind of refreshing to see a heel win a match, especially a main event. Not a terrible match or anything like that, but it was pretty forgettable.

The decision is reversed by the matchmaker whose name sounded like Max Andrews.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was much more to the point and you can see the angles that are going to dominate things coming into play pretty clearly here. The next week’s show will have Chun-Hi vs. Adams in a grudge match so that should be interesting. It’s also the last show I have before we jump forward to December. Better show this week because it was much more on point.

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USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: August 11, 1989
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance

This is the first of I think six episodes I have of this. I don’t have them all in order and I have no idea where to find them otherwise, so I won’t be able to put up the one from August 18. Other than that though this is from the late 80s (obviously) and it’s as good as anything else while I find a copy of the Raw I was going to do. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from a World Class show from last week with Eric Embry facing someone from Japan in a cage. The idea here is that if Embry, a Memphis guy, wins, then the Memphis guys get to stay in WCCW but if he loses then they’re all gone. Apparently we’ll get the ending later because that’s all we see here.

This is a USWA show from Dallas which is something I’ve never seen before. I’d assume that means Embry won. Marc Lowrence, the longtime WCCW commentator, is host. Short version: Memphis (CWA) and Dallas (WCCW) merged to form the USWA to try to fight McMahon and Crockett and it lasted all of a year before they split again.

Skandor Akbar talks about how Devastation Inc is tired of not getting acknowledged. They’re coming for the Memphis guys.

Lowrance takes us back to the cage match and the fans are all behind Embry. Embry is the booker from Foley’s book that liked to book while not wearing any clothes. Eric wins with a fluke rollup.

After a break Embry and Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) take down the WCCW banner and put up a USWA banner. I’m really not entirely sure what’s going on here but it’s as basic of the idea as I can get it. From what I can understand, that cage match was the culmination of a LONG story (as in like 6 months to a year) between Embry and Devastation Inc.

WCCW had been taken over by evil (Fritz had legitimately sold to Jerry Jarrett at this point so the Von Erichs got toned WAY down) Japanese people and Eric represented the good guys of the USWA. He won the match to bring in a new era, which was wanted/needed. This is all based off info I can find elsewhere and not from the TV show mind you.

Billy Travis, a WCCW guy, talks very nervously about how he’s glad to be here.

Eric and Percy are here to talk about the USWA. I’m not sure if USWA was the name in Memphis or not. They talk about how they’re glad the evil ones are gone and they’ll try not to let us down.

Jimmy Jack Funk/Kerry Von Erich vs. Al Perez/Taurus Bulba

Perez vs. Kerry gets us going. They fight for position early and then get in each others’ faces. Kerry grabs the arm and it’s off to Jimmy Jack. The guys on the apron almost get into it out there as (and by that I mean Marc talking to himself) talk about the cage match. Kerry throws the chair at Taurus. Akbar is at ringside too. Lowrance talks about how all of the good things from WCCW will be around in the USWA also. Bulba comes in but misses an elbow to Funk. Back to Von Erich who LOUDLY says put your foot up, which is exactly what Taurus does in the corner. Bulba runs from the Claw and takes Kerry back down.

An elbow drop keeps Kerry down as Akbar talks about how awesome Devastation Inc is. Bulba comes off the top but jumps into the Claw. He makes the rope though and it heads to the floor. The Claw goes on outside and they go towards the crowd. Bulba goes into the post and allegedly we’re at 10 minutes. More like 4 but whatever. Tornado Punch sends Bulba into the barricade but Perez hits Kerry with a chair. Everything breaks down and somehow there isn’t a DQ.

We have four minutes left in the time limit and Kerry is double teamed in the corner. Perez hooks a sleeper on Kerry and takes him down with three minutes to go. Kerry gets out and punches Perez down. Off to Funk and everything breaks down again. Somehow we’re now down to one minute as they’re not even trying to hide the clock changes. A lot of pins are broken up but Kerry gets the Claw on Perez with 15 seconds left. And never mind because it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This was a pretty high impact brawl and I’d assume it was to advance a Perez vs. Kerry feud, which is fine. Bulba was a Mongolian which is a tried and true indy heel gimmick. Not a great match or anything but the crowd was into it and it wasn’t a bad match at all. The clock thing was just laughable though.

A guy who isn’t named doesn’t like to be in Texas but likes Arkansas. He’s part of Devastation Inc though. Oh it’s Gary Young.

Tojo Yamamoto and Akbar get equal time and say they’ll be here. They’re coming for Eric and Pringle. There’s a $100,000 bounty involved somewhere.

USWA Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Matt Borne vs. Cactus Jack Manson/Scott Braddock

Manson is Foley and his team has the titles. Frank Duschek is with the challengers. He was the WCCW boss and was fired by Akbar, who is here of course as well. Braddock is thrown into Akbar on the floor and it’s Jarrett vs. Jack to start. Now there’s a pairing. Jarrett works the arm to control and has Jack hiding in the corner. There was talk of a break but I don’t think we ever went to one.

Braddock comes in and walks into an armdrag of his own. Here’s Borne in pink shorts. He’s no Bret Hart in them but he has a good clothesline. Back to Jarrett and the arm work continues. Back to Borne who grabs the arm again. Now we take a break and come back to a promo of Jarrett and Borne WITH THE TAG TEAM TITLES. They say they’ll deal with anyone that wants a shot.

Back with Jarrett working on the arm of Braddock some more. Off to Manson who rams Jarrett into the buckle then clotheslines him down to block Jarrett’s flips. Off to Braddock who slams Jeff for two. Cactus throws him to the floor and hits the elbow off the apron (called The Consequences here, which is a perfect name for it). That gets two back inside as it occurs to me we’ve never been told who the champions are. It’s Jack/Braddock, but we’ve never been told that.

Jack throws him to the floor and tries another Consequences, but Jeff moves and crawls for the corner. A diving tag brings in the pink shorts wearing Maniac to pound of Manson. Everything breaks down and Borne snaps off a quick German suplex on Jack for the pin and the titles. It’s a huge pop, but man it would have sucked to watch this on TV and have the ending spoiled.

Rating: C. Pretty boring tag match for the most part but the ending was a lot better. That being said, I’d have liked it a lot better if I hadn’t seen Jarrett and Braddock with the belts halfway through the thing. These guys would trade the titles for awhile until Jack left to go to I think WCW. Not much of a match but a title change is always worth seeing.

Lowrance wraps up the show and in something you don’t often hear on a wrestling show, says have a good weekend and worship at the church of your choice. He retired from wrestling to become a minister but it’s still odd to hear. Nothing wrong with it mind you, just not something you often hear.

Overall Rating: C. This was a really bad episode to jump in on. The feuds that were featured here were some VERY hot stories back in the day and it brought Dallas back from a bad slump they had been in, although it was short lived because of backstage politics with the WCCW guys pulling out of the USWA, making that company a Memphis exclusive in about a year or so. Still, fun stuff and a cool look at an interesting time in wrestling history. I don’t have the 8/18 show but I do have 8/25 which is up next.

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http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/223974/WWE-Developing-New-WCW-DVD-.htm

It’s because of the Count-Up isn’t it?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2009
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 11,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was another requested show for reasons that I’m not entirely clear on. Looking at the card, there’s nothing interesting or big here from a wrestling standpoint so I’d assume it’s a storyline based show. This is from an era that feels like so long ago but it was only three years. I’m not sure what to make of that. This is the go home show for the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

Vince returns tonight.

Battle Royal

Randy Orton, Kane, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes

Nothing to win here as far as the Rumble so this is just kind of a preview match. Everyone goes after Kane but DiBiase puts Marella out quickly. Legacy takes Kofi out but Kane gets up and tosses Cody. Dibiase is sent to the apron and Kane goes after Orton. He gets him to the apron but DiBiase dives on Kane and they both go out, giving Orton the win. This lasted about 2 minutes.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. This was before Kelly got good. Let that sink in for a minute. Kelly is in a Blackhawks jersey and tries to speed things up, only to get run over. Glam Slam and we’re done in about a minute.

Randy tells Ted that he should do the same thing on Sunday. Ted is cool with it when Cody comes in. He says Manu and Sim Snuka were in Stephanie’s office earlier and there’s a rumor that Randy gets fired tonight.

Glamarella is in the back and Santino gives her Rosa Mendes as a present. She had been banned from events as a fan for some reason so she’s officially Beth’s intern. Santino: “PLEASE? Can we keep her?” Beth says she’ll think about it.

Stephanie is in her office when Orton comes in. Steph says she isn’t firing him so quit sucking up. Randy yells at her and says it’s her that should be worried about being fired because Vince is back tonight. He says Stephanie would be a no one if her last name wasn’t McMahon, which earns him a slap.

Intercontinental Title: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Regal is champion and has been cheating to keep the title from Punk recently. This is a No DQ match and Punk will be in the Rumble Sunday. Regal has Layla with him. Punk fires off kicks to start which get him two. Regal goes to the floor but he can’t suplex Punk. Back in and Punk snap suplexes him for two. Punk works the arm into a Fujiwara Armbar but Regal gets the rope as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding the Anaconda Vice on the ropes but Punk can’t get disqualified. Layla has to cheat to get him out and Regal knocks Punk to the floor. Regal puts Punk’s head to the post and kicks it into the steel, which only gets two. He hooks a full nelson but Punk escapes and hits a spinning backfist and high kick for two. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into a half nelson suplex. Regal loads up a superplex but Punk knocks him off. He misses his cross body but hits a GTS for the pin and the title almost out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty hard hitting match and for a nice moment on Raw, this was fine. Regal is good for stuff like this: midcard feuds when you need a basic heel that ca put on good matches. Punk would only hold the title about a month and a half, but he would win the world title in June so I think it’s a pretty fair tradeoff.

We recap Shawn having to work for JBL and last week’s match where Shawn had a great match with Cena and actually beat him clean with the superkick.

Lawler is in the ring to moderate the contract signing for Cena vs. JBL at the Rumble. One thing I’ve never quite gotten: why in the world would you wait for six days before the show to sign one of the biggest matches on that show? Cena comes out to mostly cheers. He signs first and JBL signs quickly after. He says that it means the title will be his soon. Cena says he wants to talk to Shawn but JBL cuts him off.

He says that Shawn will only be at the PPV in his corner and nothing else. Cena says that he wasn’t looking into the eyes of a servant last week but with the main event and the showstopper. Shawn is still great and can do whatever he wants in the ring and can make an honest living doing it. That’s what I never got about this storyline. Shawn may be broke, but he’s a high level wrestler in the biggest company in the wrestling world. It might not be eight figures a year, but he’s probably not going to be broke doing it.

JBL says HBK works for him like everyone else does and that it’ll be Shawn making sure that JBL gets the title. He says it’s business and Shawn snaps. He hates that he has to do what he does but he’ll keep doing it because he has to. Shawn talks to Cena and says that he has obligations that Cena doesn’t have.

Shawn has squandered his and his family’s money and has to be there for them. He’ll do what it takes and if that means costing Cena the title, then so be it. Cena says be HBK and not this. One day there’s going to be a moment where Shawn has to choose. Cena knows he won’t make JBL the next champion. Shawn hits him with the mic and tries to superkick him before leaving, but Cena ducks. JBL hits a big boot and the Clothesline before leaving.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox

In the back, Knox says he doesn’t really have a reason for attacking Rey and doesn’t have any reason for doing it. I love that. Rey speeds things up to start and sends Knox to the floor. A dropkick to the knee puts Knox down but he clotheslines Rey to take over. A big boot gets two on Rey. Knox uses his power stuff but Rey catches him with a springboard rana into the 619 but Knox catches him. Knox pounds him down in the corner and won’t stop until it’s a DQ. This was short, like every non-Punk/Regal match tonight.

Stephanie is on the phone in her office and when she turns around, Jericho (fired last week) is in her chair. He talked to Vince and will get a chance to plead his case.

Smackdown ReBound. When’s the last time we saw one of those? It’s about Jeff Hardy having accidents.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Miz and Morrison are tag champions. I’m assuming they’re the Raw ones. They want to face Jim Duggan but Cryme Tyme comes out to talk about Obama being inaugurated the next day. If Cryme Tyme wins, they get a title shot in the future. Morrison vs. Shad to start us off with the big man kicking his head off. A flapjack puts JoMo down and JTG trips him. An STO from Shad ends this in just over a minute.

Cody is talking to Mickie James and doesn’t think her career advice means anything. He turns around and runs into Goldust. Goldust gives him the Starrcade DVD, saying he can learn more from this than anything Orton can teach him. Cody shrugs it off and says he’s surpass his father.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Last week Beth terrorized Melina before a tag match where Jillian would have been Beth’s partner, so this is revenge somehow. Beth, Santino and Rosa all come out to watch. Melina is distracted so Jillian hits a side slam for two. Melina gets a sunset bomb out of the corner for the quick pin.

Rosa charges at Melina post match which allows Beth to come in and beat on Melina. The title would change on Sunday.

Ziggler, still brand new at this point, hits on some chick who isn’t interested. He’s still doing the introduction thing at this point. Dolph turns around and runs into Vince, who introduces himself in a funny bit.

Here’s Vince for the big final segment of the show. He thanks the fans for the applause but says this is about business. Vince brings out Jericho to air his grievance. Jericho says that it was unfair that he was fired and that he should be reinstated for the Rumble. Vince says let’s bring out Stephanie who is GM of Raw. Jericho wants to be reinstated but Vince isn’t going to do that. Instead, the McMahons will run Raw together. She says Jericho can apologize if he wants and surprisingly enough, Jericho does it.

Steph says that’s not good enough so Jericho says it again and says it in more detail but still doesn’t sound sincere at all. That’s not good enough so he should apologize to the people. The fans chant on your knees which Jericho finally does. He explains that he’s great and while he may seem arrogant, he can’t help it. Stephanie makes him leave and Vince is pleased. Cue Orton and the pleasing is over. She slapped Orton earlier tonight and Randy wants an apology because he’s more valuable than she is. People pay to see him, not the McMahons.

Ever since Stephanie made Vince a grandfather, she’s become worthless. Stephanie leaves and Vince isn’t happy. Vince wants to know who Randy thinks he is. Without Vince, Orton’s dad wouldn’t have had a job and Randy would be a gym teacher in St. Louis. Randy has to apologize or be fired. Orton says Vince shouldn’t do that but Vince starts to fire him. Orton pops him in the mouth then kicks him down. A fast punt leaves Vince unconscious and the announcers freak. Randy seems to be shocked at what he just did. Vince is taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Do these people know that we’re six days away from the Rumble? This was a different kind of build for the show as it was about the people who will be in the Rumble (namely Orton) rather than the match itself. That’s the same kind of build they did in 2012 and I’m not sure I like it. It’s not bad, but there’s really not much going on with this show and it didn’t make me want to see the PPV at all.

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Does it ever strike anyone else as odd that a lot of the contracts for main event level matches are signed the week of the show? I’m watching a Raw from 2009 and Cena is signing to face JBL at the Rumble on the last Raw before the PPV. Shouldn’t they have this locked up earlier than that?

Great American Bash 1990
Date: July 7, 1990
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

I like this doing three shows in a row as I get to see the build up for these big shows like the Bash and then the payoff here. The main event is finally Sting vs. Flair for the title after arguably over two years of buildup. Usually I’d say what else is on here, but other than that match, there’s nothing at all to talk about because it’s a one match show. Let’s get to it.

The opening graphic is the big names of WCW on stars which move onto the American flag. Cool.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now. His music doesn’t get going until he’s halfway down the ramp. They slap each other around to start and I don’t think I heard a bell. Brian comes back with chops and it’s a slugfest early on. A spinning middle rope cross body gets two for Brian. The fans sound like they’re behind Landell or at least some of them are. Pillman dropkicks him to the floor and Buddy gets a breather. He looks a lot skinnier here than he usually did too.

Landell goes for the arm and uses some very basic cheating (nothing wrong with it being simple) to take Pillman down. Pillman tries the same spinning cross body that he tried earlier but gets caught in a backbreaker for two. Brian tries to speed things up but misses a dropkick. Landell pounds on him some more but gets caught by ten punches in the corner. Pillman rams into the buckle though and it’s chinlockery a go-go. Brian comes back with punches in the corner but charges into a forearm. Landell rolls through a cross body for two. Brian goes to the apron but comes back in with a top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: D+. Was there a need for this to either A, exist or B, go nine minutes? It wasn’t terrible but I really don’t get why it went on so long. Landell was more or less just a jobber at this point after having his big run in the 80s derailed by drugs. Not bad but it felt like a low level TV main event.

Gordon Solie talks about the show and says nothing of note.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotunda

Uh….sure? Sheik jumps him to start and rips Mike’s jacket off. MY GOODNESS Sheik has a beer belly and a half on him. Mike grabs a fast sunset flip for two. Rotunda speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where JR calls him a terrorist. Back in now and they slug it out with Sheik keeping control. The abdominal stretch goes on but Sheik gets caught cheating to break the hold. Rotunda fights back and they slug it out. Sheik throws him to the floor to keep this match going. He suplexes Mike back in and gets pinned by a backslide.

Rating: D. Again, what was the point of this? Nothing of note happened at all and there was no point in having either guy on the card. Does anyone remember Sheik in WCW? I certainly don’t, but somehow he got paid for a full year because WCW forgot to stop his contract from being renewed. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Harley Race says Flair better be ready for Sting tonight because Sting can beat him. As for Tommy Rich, Race’s opponent tonight, he knows he’s a beaten man.

Dutch Mantel vs. Doug Furnas

Furnas is the World’s Strongest Man. My goodness there are a lot of them that are wrestlers. Mantel is a Texas man with a lot of hair on his face. Furnas shoves him to the floor to start and Mantel is annoyed. Back in and Mantel grabs a headlock. Furnas easily gorilla presses him down as Mantel has nothing to slow Furnas down. Mantel slaps him twice and make it three times.

Furnas walks up Mantel in the corner and moonsaults off of him. Mantel heads to the floor to hide as things slow down even more. Cross body by Furnas gets two. The match has been going on over five minutes now and it seems like there’s been all of 30 seconds of action. Mantel gets in some offense but Furnas overpowers him and goes up. A top rope splash misses though and Mantel gets his first real advantage.

Off to a chinlock by Dutch and I don’t think this is going to last much longer. He grabs an arm hold of some sort which doesn’t really do anything. Snap suplex gets two with Furnas throwing Mantel onto the referee. Back to the arm with Mantel just standing there instead of cranking on it at all. Furnas gets up with ease and pounds Dutch against the ropes. Powerslam puts Dutch down and then Furnas starts doing nothing but kicks and punches. Furnas gets behind him and hits a snap belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: F. It was boring, there was zero point to it happening, and it was really slow. I get that this was more of the style back then, but we’re thirty five minutes into the show and this is the best that they can give us so far? This has been a horrible opening part of the show and this is probably the low point.

Cornette talks about the upcoming major matches before talking about the Southern Boys, the Express’ opponents for later tonight. Nothing much here.

Harley Race vs. Tommy Rich

After this I’m pretty sure we get to the real part of the show. Race is in a singlet which I’ve never seen him wear before. Rich runs him over a few times and avoids an elbow. Off to a headlock and Race’s arm is rammed into the post. Race comes back with a piledriver which knocks Rich to the ramp. Rich gets suplexed out there as Race takes over.

Tommy comes back, knocking Race over the top and sending his head into the apron in the process. A middle rope elbow gets two. There’s a belly to belly from Race followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Rich comes back and tries a slam and they tumble to the floor. Back in, Rich tries a top rope cross body but Race rolls through for the surprise pin.

Rating: D. The match was boring and again I have no idea why it exists. We’re 45 minutes into a roughly three hour show and the best match has been a long Brian Pillman vs. Buddy Landell match. What’s the point of these things anyway? Wouldn’t they be better suited spaced out a bit? Unless they hope they’re having the best final two thirds ever, I really don’t understand this.

Mean Mark and Paul E. Dangerously say Flair will win and that Mark will win the US Title from Luger. This is more or less the only big time match that Mark will have in WCW. Mark rips up a Luger t-shirt during this.

US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Southern Boys

The Southern Boys are the challengers and are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers. The Midnights clear the ring almost immediately and the fight heads outside. The Southern Boys get Eaton alone and hit a double backdrop followed by a double shoulder to send him out. Lane is knocked out too and Cornette freaks. He yells at a fan “WHY DON’T YOU SIT DOWN AND WIPE THE UGLY OFF YOUR FACE YOU STUPID PIG FACED MORON?” I love Jim Cornette.

Armstrong and Eaton officially get us going and Eaton gets an early advantage. He gets slammed off the top though and Armstrong speeds things up to take over. It’s not often that speeding things up works on Eaton but it is to a degree here. Smothers comes in and Eaton has just as much luck as he did with Armstrong. Smothers fires off some martial arts shots and Eaton complains.

Eaton gets thrown around a lot and superkicked to his own corner. FINALLY he tags in Lane and it’s time for a karate fight. Lane gets in the first shot and then a few more to a big reaction. Now Armstrong superkicks Lane and then does the same to Eaton. Back to wrestling now with Smothers working on the arm. Lane escapes and tags in Eaton who is taken down with an armdrag as well.

Eaton gets knocked to the floor and Armstrong kicks him down again. The Southern Boys ram their heads together and Cornette freaks out even more. This has not been his day at all. Smothers rolls Bobby up but Bobby made a blind tag, allowing Lane to throw Smothers over the top and ram him into the barricade to take over for the first time. Smother tries to speed things up but Bobby takes his head off with a clothesline.

Off to lane again as the Southern Boys are in trouble. The beating continues and Eaton hits the Alabama Jam. It hurts him too though and it’s back to Lane. Smothers gets two off a sunset flip. The Midnights use their double team moves and a swinging neckbreaker puts Tracy on the floor. Smothers manages to slingshot Eaton to the floor and then rams Lane’s head into the buckle.

Lane comes back with some kung fu fighting, but both Midnights get caught in a single sunset flip. Smothers has some great thinking here and runs over to tag out instead of the improbable tag. Everything breaks down and the Southern Boys hit a sweet double team move resembling a Hart Attack with Armstrong hitting a missile dropkick instead of the clothesline. That gets two and the Midnights take Armstrong down and the Rocket Launcher gets two. The Southern Boys switch and Smothers rolls him up for two. Lane manages to kick Smothers in the head from the apron and Eaton rolls him up to retain.

Rating: A. GREAT match here with the fans absolutely coming unglued to end things. The Southern Boys got a lot better in about the blink of an eye while the Midnights would drop the titles to the Steiners later in the year and then would split, with Lane and Cornette starting up SMW and not being in WCW ever again that I recall. Outstanding match here though, which Cornette called one of the best Express matches ever.

The Fre…..oh my. Uh…..what’s a polite way to say this……the Freebirds look like they’d make a great Survivor Series team with Adrian Street and Rico after he split from Billy and Chuck. There’s mascara, there’s eyeliner, there’s suspenders, there’s long ponytails, and I think I see glitter. They say they can drive anything and they can ride anything with four legs. They get the Steiners tonight.

Z-Man vs. Big Van Vader

This is Vader’s WCW debut and Z-Man is the kind of guy Vader sprinkles on his pizza (ten points for whoever gets that reference). He’s in a more traditional mask here and has the helmet. There’s the bell and Z-Man’s chances are done in about 4 seconds. Vader knocks him around for about two minutes and a splash ends it. Z-Man had absolutely zero offense.

The Horsemen say they have some surprises for Sting and his friends tonight. This incarnation is Windham, Arn and Sid with Ole doing a lot of the talking. You know, because that Arn guy could never do that.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

Make your own jokes about them being called Fabulous after the way they looked earlier. The Birds jump Scott to start and knock Rick to the outside. Scott throws Garvin around and blocks a Hayes DDT. Rick comes in and punches everyone out to the floor. Scott takes them down with a double clothesline as the Steiners take over. Rick vs. Garvin officially starts us off after about a minute.

Garvin gets backdropped and it’s all Rick to start. Hayes comes in and stalls a lot. Rick bites him in a place I don’t want to check for marks and it’s back to Garvin vs. Scott. Garvin tries to go amateur with him and guess how well that goes for him. The Steiners clear the ring and the Freebirds want a time out. The fans get all over the Birds until we get to Hayes vs. Scott.

Hayes punches him a few times but Scott shrugs them off and suplexes both Birds. Both of them get slammed by Rick and the dominance is on. Hayes gets in the first significant offense for the Freebirds by punching Rick to the floor. A double suplex puts Rick down again and it’s off to a chinlock by Jimmy. Garvin hooks three chinlocks inside of two minutes.

He goes up but Rick slams him down and hits something that was supposed to be a bulldog. This match has just died since the Birds took over. There’s the hot tag to Scott and house is cleaned. There’s a Frankensteiner to Hayes but Garvin grabs a DDT on Scott. He isn’t legal though and walks into a belly to belly from Rick and Scott gets the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad but at the same time there’s nothing at all here from the Freebirds that is anything worth seeing. The Steiners are completely awesome and would get the tag titles back in February, winning them from the Freebirds before the Freebirds won them in the first place. Now that’s a story that can only happen in wrestling.

Sign of the times for you: this show is in July. The next PPV is in late October.

Dudes With Attitude vs. Horsemen

It’s Orndorff/JYD/El Gigante (making his debut) vs. Sid/Barry/Arn (TV Champion) and this is more of the Sting’s guys vs. Horsemen war. Arn vs. Paul gets us going. Sid comes in instead so Paul hip tosses everyone. He can’t backslide Sid though, or at least not until the JYD headbutts Sid down. Arn comes in to pound on Paul but he fights out of the corner. El Gigante comes in and everyone named after a Horse runs.

The Horsemen have a huddle but Orndorff pulls him back in for a beating from JYD. Gigante pulls back a fist and Anderson runs very fast as his eyes bug out. Windham comes in and JYD gets down on all fours to headbutt him a few times. Arn punches the Dog a few times and brings Barry back in. Windham DDTs Dog and hey he has a hard head. That’s a new one from him.

A not hot tag brings Orndorff in and he cleans a few rooms. The Dudes were never in any real trouble so there’s no heat on the tag. He loads up the piledriver on Anderson but Barry comes in off the top to break it up. The fans want Sid so he comes in for a chinlock. Everything breaks down and a lot of people are thrown over the top. The Horsemen run from Gigante and somewhere in there the Dudes win via DQ.

Rating: D. There was no point here other than to showcase Gigante. The problem with that is he’s just there for his look rather than anything resembling skill. Very boring match here and the fans didn’t care at all other than wanting the eternally popular Sid. This wouldn’t end anytime soon that I remember.

Lex says he’s tougher than a shirt and he supports Sting.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Mark Callous

Mark has Dangerously with him. This is Mark’s only important match in WCW. He takes over to start and works on the arm and they actually go to the mat. Lex arm drags him to the corner where Mark complains of a hair pull. Callous is the Undertaker because I’ve done the “who is he” thing too many times. Mark misses a corner charge and a cross body gets two. Time for some arm work and Paul is on the phone to someone named Murray.

Mark jumps over him with a leapfrog but misses a punch. The second attempt works and Callous takes over. This is as slow as it sounds. Mark works on the arm for awhile and then knocks Luger to the outside. Luger gets a quick sunset flip for two. He no sells a suplex and clotheslines Mark down a few times. There’s the Rack but the referee takes a shot to the head.

Dangerously throws in the phone which goes into Luger’s ribs. The fans are a lot more into this than you would expect them to be. Mark crawls over to him and gets a very slow cover for two. Mark calls for the Heart Punch but Luger gets a boot up, knocks Paul down, and wins with a clothesline of all things.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but this was a much more normal concept back in the day: having the midcard titles defended against big guys who haven’t really done anything of note yet. Mark would get a lot better after getting the right gimmick in about 5 months. Until then though, he was pretty worthless.

Sting says he’s ready and will have no excuses if he loses.

Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Doom

This is more or less the final run for the RNR and they’re challenging here. Simmons vs. Gibson starts us off. JR talks about Gibson signing in the ring, as in sign language. Gibson speeds things up and gets a rollup for one, which makes Simmons tag in Reed. An elbow puts Butch back into the corner and here’s Ricky. Reed knocks Morton down so the Express double teams him down.

The idea of the match here is very simple: when the Express can double team they win, but when it’s one on one they don’t have much luck. Reed knocks both of them to the floor but it’s Gibson taking the worst of it. Back in a sunset flip gets two for Robert as does a slam for Reed. Morton comes in to speed things up and gets two with an O’Connor Roll on Butch. They speed the clock up to say that it’s been ten minutes.

Reed works over Morton with pure power and brings in Simmons. Morton gets a dropkick but Reed comes in to keep things at the status quo. Reed comes in and slows things back down again, which makes perfect sense for Doom. Gibson has had enough and comes in for some cheating but it doesn’t do enough to get him in legally. Back to Simmons as Morton takes a beating like only Ricky Morton can do.

Reed gets two off a big right hand and it’s time for more chinlocking. Doom does their cheating by throwing Morton over the top while the other has the referee distracted. Shoulder block gets two for Ron. Morton slugs it out with Reed which goes horribly and results in a powerslam for two. Morton ducks another shoulder and there’s the hot tag to Gibson. He cleans house and a sunset flip gets no count on Ron as everything breaks down. An enziguri sends Ron into Teddy to bring him inside. Gibson beats him up which is enough of a distraction for Reed to come off the top and kill Gibson with a shoulder to retain.

Rating: B. Doom was awesome at this point and would soon turn face and fight the Horsemen, causing some AWESOME fights. The Express never really went anywhere after this other than to the indies and other companies. Great match though in the traditional formula that the Express perfected long ago.

Flair says he’s going to walk that aisle against Sting tonight.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

Ton of stips here: No DQ, No Countout, the Dudes With Attitude are at ringside to counter the Horsemen and Ole is handcuffed to El Gigante. Flair chops away but those don’t work on Sting of course. Gorilla press sends Flair to the corner and Rick Steiner laughs at him. Dropkick sends Flair to the outside but Sting follows him out. Back inside Flair gets a quick suplex but Sting is up first.

A top rope cross body gets two on Flair. The champ begs off and heads to the floor to take another breather. Back in and Flair kicks the knee out to get the crowd into a panic. Sting clotheslines him down but an elbow misses. Figure Four is quickly broken up but Flair keeps control. We go outside and are told that’s ten minutes in. It’s more like 5 but whatever. There’s been no clipping either.

Sting comes back in the ring but a dropkick misses. Flair goes after the knee and Sting sells it like he’s been shot. Ric tries to cannonball down onto the knee but misses. It doesn’t mean anything but the knee drop missing does. Sting throws the Figure Four on Flair and the people literally rise up. Flair escapes to the ropes and they go outside. Sting is sent into the barricade but shrugs it off.

Ten corner punches back in the ring have Flair rocked but he kicks Sting in the knee. Flair goes up and there’s the slam off the top. Sting tries to mount an offense but gets kicked in the knee again. Sting keeps avoiding the Figure Four but his counters are getting slower each time. He’s limping badly now too. Flair slaps him in the corner and chops away, which doesn’t go that well.

Sting is all like BRING IT ON NAITCH and hits a backdrop and clothesline for two. The fans are getting way into it here. I don’t think anyone doubts that Sting will win here but it’s about how he’s going to do it rather than will he do it. Another clothesline puts Flair on the apron and a suplex back in gets two. Stinger Splash hits and Flair Flops. Here comes the Scorpion and Ole is panicking. The Horsemen run out but Orndorff, JYD and the Steiners are waiting for them.

Flair FINALLY makes the ropes but the fans mostly missed it due to the outside stuff. It’s good that they didn’t end it there. Sting punches him to the apron but Flair kicks the knee out again. Scott Steiner shoves Flair’s feet off the ropes and Sting gets a backslide for two. The crowd is losing it on these kickouts. For some reason Sting tries a running knee in the corner and for another reason we cut to the crowd as the knee hits the buckle. Flair goes for the Figure Four, but Sting rolls him up for the pin and the title. To say the roof is blown off the place is an understatement.

Rating: B-. The match isn’t great and it’s nowhere near their best, but this was about a moment. Sting was the hottest thing on the planet and had been for about a year and a half, so this was academic. The idea here is that they let it be a big moment instead of some stupid swerve to mess with us. That’s what WWE seems so scared of today: people figuring out the conclusions and changing them rather than letting them go, which is the right idea. A lot of the time it’s about how you get to the ending, not what you get to.

Sting praises Flair and says he’ll do the best he can as champion.

Overall Rating: C+. The first four matches are AWFUL and suck the life out of the show, but if you edit them out (which the home video so thankfully did) you get a pretty awesome show with a huge moment to end things. Sting is officially the king of the NWA, but then things would fall apart because of the brilliance of Ole Anderson and the Black Scorpion mess, but for what this is, it was great.

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Clash of the Champions #13: Thanksgiving Thunder
Date: November 20, 1990
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.

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Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight’s main event is Orton vs. Bryan in a non title match. That means the match should be a lot better as we have one of the best in ring workers in the world today in there and on the other side we have the world champion. It’ll be nice to see him against someone who isn’t a giant and someone who might be effected by Bryan’s offense. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a snow storm that might slow down the airport.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show who talks about how he has to pick which champion to face at Mania. When he was a kid he was bullied but he started fighting back. He got better with each fight until he was good enough that he got here. Sheamus says he isn’t going to change his ways because they’ve gotten him this far. Cue Barrett who says that he respects Sheamusa bit but Sheamus needs to go for the Raw title. Sheamus says he was thinking about Orton beating Barrett all over the ring last week.

Cue Cody who says he knows what it’s like to be a champion. The Chamber is a tax on the mind and he’s the strongest mentally of all of them. He’ll be a double champion as well. Here’s Big Show who says he won’t tell Sheamus what to do. He will however tell Cody to shut up. Show won’t make promises about the Chamber but asks Sheamus to think about facing him at Mania for the title.

Barrett cuts Show off and calls him a Wrestlemania punchline because Snooki has a better record at Wrestlemania than Big Show. Cody calls him the reverse Undertaker. Show takes him down and a brawl erupts. Sheamus and Show clear the ring. Gee, I wonder if we’ll have a tag match for later?

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal does a ceremonial headware removal thing. Total domination by Khali as he wins with the Punjabi Plunge in 2:05. See, this is what they should have been doing to build to the Chamber: have the participants beat up jobbers. As in, you know, having jobbers do what they’re supposed to do.

We get a video of Teddy indefinitely suspending Henry last week.

In the back, Aksana and Teddy do their usual thing with Aksana kissing Teddy on the cheek. Bryan comes in and doesn’t like what he sees. Aksana leaves and Bryan goes on a rant about the barbecue that Teddy held earlier. He talks about how it was dead animal flesh and charred meat. Teddy: “I put some of JR’s barbecue sauce on it. Tasted fine to me.” Bryan says that makes him sick so Teddy says stop trying to get out of facing Orton tonight.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Beth sits on the ropes and tells Alicia to get out of her ring. Fox takes her to the corner but Beth shoves her away. Alicia tries a Matrix move but gets sledged down. Glam Slam pins her at 1:17.

Phoenix loads up another Glam Slam but Tamina runs out and stares at her for the save. Beth seems happy to finally have a challenger.

Another way too long video about how awesome Rock is.

More of the very stupid Natalya gimmick. I’m not going to bother going into what it is because it’s that awful.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

The entrances are out of order for some reason, as it goes Show, Rhodes, Barrett, Sheamus. Show vs. Rhodes gets us going and Show barks him into tagging. Barrett gets tossed in and chopped to the floor so it’s back to Cody. Show loads up the right hand so Cody bails to the corner. Off to Barrett vs. Sheamus with Sheamus running him over very easily.

Barrett gets in a knee and tags Cody back in. The IC Champion has as much success as he did before as Sheamus throws him outside. We take a break and come back with Cody getting beaten up again. The rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two. The heels finally double team Show down with some High/Low action. A missile dropkick gets two for Cody. A chinlock is easily broken but Barrett chop blocks Show to break up the tag.

Barrett chinlocks him but Show just stands up and breaks it up with a ram into the corner. Cody comes in with the Beautiful Disaster for two before Show can make the tag. Show breaks up a chinlock and makes the tag to Sheamus. A pair of Brogue Kicks later and Sheamus gets the pin on Barrett at 9:24 shown of 12:54.

Rating: C. Not bad for a main event style tag match, but it sums up the problem with Big Show: there aren’t very many ways to make an attack on him believable. It’s the same problem that Bryan has had: no matter what he does, Show can shrug it off and hit one big punch to end a match. He works better as a heel in that regard, as most monsters do because it means you can see someone slay the giant.

Here’s AJ who says she should be back in a few weeks and competing in the spring. She thanks people who supported her….and Cole goes into jerk mode, talking about how no one knows who she is. Cole asks about Monday where Big Show almost ran her over again. AJ says it was an accident, but it’s been Cole that has made things worse than anyone else. He’s never believed in Bryan and he’s stirred things up.

AJ rips into Cole and says that the WWE would be a better place if he would just shut his mouth. Cole argues back and says everyone is saying that Bryan set AJ up to get hurt. Cole will be in his glory when Bryan loses. Cue Bryan who yells at Cole and then says that on Sunday, he took a nature walk instead of eating a bunch of meat and beer. After so many people did that, how many of them recycled? He cares about future generations and he cares about AJ. Due to the people being so mean to her, Bryan is leaving the arena to take AJ home. They’ll be leaving in a Prius as well.

They leave and Cole goes on a rant about Bryan. Is Cole supposed to be a face or a heel? I really don’t think they have any idea anymore either. Booker defends Bryan….I think?

Bryan and AJ are in the back and start to leave when Teddy comes up. He says he’ll be glad to find transportation for AJ, but if Bryan leaves he’ll be stripped of the title.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

DiBiase still has a cast on his wrist which is now a hard cast instead of the soft one he had two weeks ago. DiBiase fights with the right arm and knocks Hunico to the floor with a clothesline. Camacho distracts Ted a bit and Hunico gets him to the floor and rams the bad wrist into the post. Hunico throws on a few submissions but DiBiase rolls him up as he tries a cross armbreaker for the pin at 2:42.

Don’t be a bully.

Video on the Chamber and how it leads to Wrestlemania.

We get an interview with Johnny Ace from Abu Dhabi where he says WWE is awesome and that’s about it.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Big Show is on commentary for this. This is their first meeting according to Cole. They jockey for position to start and Randy controls with an armbar. Bryan comes back with some offense of his own but no one can get a clear advantage. Randy heads to the floor and shoots a glare at Big Show. Bryan hits a baseball slide and the running knee off the apron to take Randy down and we take a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm but Randy countering into the backbreaker to cause the separation. Bryan gets another shot into the arm but as he goes up, Randy crotches him. A superplex is broken up but Bryan’s top rope splash misses. Orton comes back with his powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by a high kick. Bryan goes up and is crotched again and this time the superplex works, getting two.

Orton starts the Stomp as Cole asks Big Show how many Wrestlemania matches he’s won. Booker: “Will you just hit him in the mouth please?” Bryan comes back and hits a running dropkick in the corner. A bunch of kicks hit but Bryan gets rolled up for two. The rollup is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but Randy counters that into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Bryan heads to the apron. He rolls to the floor and shoves Big Show, drawing the DQ at 10:05 shown of 13:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this match by the end. Orton seemingly can’t have a bad match anymore and Bryan is really getting better when he’s against normal sized guys like Orton here and Punk from a few weeks ago on Raw. The ending is fine because Bryan is afraid to get beaten or fight himself, but it’s getting old to see that every week.

Orton gets in Show’s face and Show shoves him. A big brawl ends the show as Bryan smiles. Cole gets the famous line of “it’s breaking loose in Tulsa” wrong by saying “it’s breaking down in Tulsa.” I’ve never heard the second of those but maybe it’s a correct one.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re in buildup mode for the Chamber and that’s what they needed to do. Everyone in the chamber was in action tonight and we have Bryan looking like a puppet master out there, which is something that he needs to be rather than the plucky babyface that escapes with the title. Good show, but not as good as Smackdown is capable of.

Results
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Big Show/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick to Sheamus
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

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